#No amount of money in the world will ever repay me for the damage she caused me

[blue-banditt]

GAHA I can't believe I just successfully emotionally manipulated my mom into giving me money for non necessities I can't believe it worked 😭

[sunnysidevans]

𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 - 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬

Summary: What happens when you find out your shitty boyfriend cheats on you with a new coworker and you decide to show him just who he messed with and you run into a bit someone unexpected? 

Warnings: Language, Angst , Cheating , Weapons

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

First Person Point Of View: 

You couldn’t believe that this happened to you, how could you have let this happen? Your recent boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, had decided to cheat with the new girl in his law firm. You had detected the affair quickly as he became less and less, and became much more “work focused” as your mother liked to call it as you started to discuss your concerns. She believed he was a good man as did all your friends, who knew he was so good at lying? To you and the world huh? Your suspicions were proven correct when you decided to visit him at work the last afternoon with the fresh lunch you thought you could share together and found the two of them, coming back from their own lunch, making out in the parking garage of his office. Lucky for you he didn’t see you and you were able to slip away quickly. After slipping away you sat in your car and started to sob, you couldn’t believe this had happened, you just thought he was distant because of a big case, not another woman. As you pulled out of the parking garage that afternoon,  mascara streaked down your chin, you made the decision that if he wanted to cheat, you would show him just the women he cheated on. The rest of that afternoon you made your preparations and got things around and even did a small bit of retail therapy ( with the credit card he had given you of course ) and started the demise of your cheating ex boyfriend, Nathan. First you started prepping by taking a quick shower and applying minimal makeup because, why let him fuck up more mascara? As you laced up your black boots you grabbed the essentials and headed to the bar you knew he frequented after a good case. As you pulled up to the bar you noticed the ugly Ford 4x4 in the parking lot with his cheesy bumper sticker. You parked about a few cars down, giving yourself a nice amount of space between them so if for some reason he wouldn’t see you. As smooth as butter you ran your car key along the side of his truck, bumper to bumper. You begin to pop a tire with the small pocket knife on your keys when suddenly a tall brunette comes running from the other side of the parking lot, “hey, hey lady what the hell?!” he yells his hands out as you turn to him quickly knife in hand “mind your own business buddy” you seeth, slight tears in your eyes as he lowers his hands to his sides “well, you do have a knife, and you are popping tires on a car.. I mean it is a crime” he sighs watching you closely as you turn around again. “Just go inside and get a drink and don't you worry about me pretty boy” you mumbled, as you turned you knew you recognized him, he played in them movies that you and Nathan watched often, He was Captain America. He laughed behind you as he watched you pick the lock of the truck and disarming the alarm “you know I can’t let you continue to commit a crime” Chris laughed walking to you as he continued “so what exactly am I witnessing at this moment?” he asked as he watched you carve (Y/N) in both the headrest and the seat on both sides. “(Y/N) huh? So (Y/N) care to explain to me what is happening?” he asked again as he started to hear the sniffles from you and shortly after a sob. “Fuck him” you seethed through the sobs “fuck him and that ugly fucking bitch” you continued to seeth through your sobs. As you sobbed you took the bat and smashed the hood of the truck and continued you knocked out every light on the truck as eventually two arms grabbed your arms to stop you, a bold move as you were clearly loaded with weapons. “Hey hey” Chris whispered as he took the bat slowly “c’mon let's head inside okay? Hey it's okay, okay?” he looked at you as you once again let this asshole screw up your mascara. You sobbed in the arms of this stranger and watched as he led you inside slowly in which you’d be face to face with Nathan and the woman who created this mess. As you walked inside slowly with Chris by your side rubbing your arm, all eyes landed on you, mainly because you walked in with a gorgeous man on your arm but mostly because obviously they recognized who this man was. Chris sat you in a booth and went to grab some towels from the restroom as to help clean up the blood you didn’t notice before on your hands along with the mascara on your cheeks, he also covered you with the jacket as he left as you only had on a tshirt as it approached 10 pm. As you sat in the booth your eyes on the table eventually someone cleared their throat causing you to look up and be face to face with the eyes that used to hold nothing but love for you. “(Y/N) what are you doing here?” he asked hands on his hips, in an authoritative way not even a hot way as chris did it before “does it matter?” you snarked back adjusting Chris’s jacket on your arms. “I mean I’d like to know why my girlfriend is in a bar with another man's jacket on her arms” he snickered back as you sighed sitting up ready to snark back as someone cleared their throat behind Nathan. “From the story I’m gathering, you cheated on this young lady and she found out, knew you’d be here, with said mistress and she decided to take matters into her own hands, but of course I stopped her before she did any real damage” Chris spoke as Nathan turned to him, mouth agape as he recognized him as well as everyone else did. “W-What?” Nathan looked between the two of you as Chris sat across from you, handing you the towels so you could wipe your hands. Chris looked to you as Nathan stood at the end of the table, “would you like a ride home beautiful? Or at least let me order you a ride?” he smiled at you as the small smile crossed your face “I would like that actually, a ride would be nice..” you whispered standing as he put an arm around your shoulder, Nathan hot on your heels out the door. “You can’t just ignore me bi-” Nathan stopped mid sentence as he saw the damage you had done to his truck “What the fuck?!” he screamed running to the truck, noticing that all four of his tires were slashed, both sets of lights destroyed along with your name in both of his seats, door wide open in which most of his belongings were taken. Finally the young woman decided to join him outside and noticed the destruction to his truck, trying to comfort him as Chris snickered beside you “Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy”. 

+

The car ride to your apartment was quiet as Chris had a quiet 80’s playlist playing. He didn’t push you to talk to him, didn’t push you to tell him what happened, he just followed your directions to your apartment. As he pulled up to your apartment and put his car in park he turned in the seat to face you, “I’m really sorry…” he whispered, you shook your head and shrugged your shoulders “I thought I was going to marry him ya know?” you turned to him as you continued “I just don’t know what I was thinking.. He treated me so well and then.. Well obviously you put two and two together” you sighed sitting up to take his jacket off “Thank you very much for giving me a ride home..” you smiled handing him his jacket back. “You don’t have to thank me, It’s the least I could do” he smiled as you smiled softly back “Is there anything I could do to repay you? Gas money?” you asked curiously, he shook his head and smiled “how about just a phone number? If you need a friend” he smiled back as you nodded slowly. You took his phone from him and entered your phone number making sure to add in the knife emoji next to your name.

+

 Two weeks Later .. 

A knock at the door startled you from your book and coffee as your cat jumped from his sleep. You sighed softly as you got up and opened the door to be greeted by a delivery man who looked to love his job so much. “Uh delivery for (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)?” he asked unsure as you nodded and took the flowers. “Thank you” you nodded and shut the door walking to the kitchen counter as Chris follows shortly after bringing Dodger back from a walk. “What is that?” he asked curious leaning against the counter in front of you “I’m not sure was just delivered” you shrugged opening the note: 

“ My Dearest (Y/N),

I’m so sorry, I wish I never did these things and I wish I didn’t , Please I hope this is just the beginning of us rebuilding.. Again I’m so sorry, Please call me,Please talk to me, anything… I will always love you

Love, Nathan. X”

You scoffed handing the note to Chris to read as he read over it shaking his head tossing it into the trash “I wouldn’t keep them if you don’t want too. That note though was absolutely awful so you don’t want that” he laughed as he saw the smile on your face as you chuckled again shaking your head “maybe I’ll give them to Mrs.Carter down the hall.. She’s been quite lonely since her husband died” you smiled at him as he then chucked again, “what?” you asked, “I guess maybe he’ll think before he cheats” causing the both of you to laugh. This was the start of something much better than what Nathan ever had to offer you.  

[nelllraiser]

teardrops on my guitar(m) | leah & nell

TIMING: shortly after and then you’re free (escape from the ring) LOCATION: nell’s greenhouse. PARTIES: @nelllraiser and @phoenixleah SUMMARY: leah helps heal nell’s arms, and gets some veggies in return. taki gets to see his cat crush.

To be honest, Nell had been in dire need of some burgers from Al’s, and Leah was always good company for a trip such as that. After breaking loose from the Ring with Remmy, she’d been eating more than perhaps seemed humanly possible after going hungry for an entire week. Now that her stomach was full, she was walking Leah towards her greenhouse behind the Vural place, figuring it was as good a place as any to do this. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” Nell asked again, not wanting to take advantage of Leah and her tear’s healing abilities. “I still feel sort of bad that all I got you for something like this was lunch.” Nell knew that phoenix tears went for obscene amounts of money on the supernatural market, and she still wanted to make sure that everything was still alright with Bea’s friend. Opening the door to the greenhouse, Nell circumvented around the mattress that was still in the center of it, leftover from when Bea had been dead, and Nell hadn’t felt right sleeping in the house. To be honest...she still used it when Bea wasn’t home, the house seeming too quiet to be alone in it, as if her sister were still gone. “Alright, here we are,” she said before stopping some twenty feet in, surrounded by greenery.

Leah would never turn down a good burger, so stopping at Al’s with Nell before giving her what she needed was never not an option in her mind.  She was worried about the youngest Vural, if she were being honest.  After everything that had happened with all of them- after what happened with Bea, she still felt a certain ache and anxiety around the Vurals, like she couldn’t do enough to help.  She didn’t know exactly what happened that got Nell involved in an underground fight ring, and for once she had no desire to know anymore about something that was clearly supernatural.  Maybe she was doing a disservice to herself and the Scribes, but she was worried she’d find out something she didn’t like about the ring- and if Nell were involved in something like that- well, … It was easier to just not ask questions.  She adjusted her bag on her shoulder as she followed Nell, not remembering the last time she’d been back there.  “Really.  I’m really more than okay with it.  I wouldn’t feel right taking money, not from you.”  She probably wouldn’t feel right taking it from anyone, but then she wouldn’t have offered tears to just anyone, either.  “I know you’ll keep it quiet- people don’t need to know where you got these from, right? ...and that’s really all I can ask, honestly.”  Her eyes fell to the mattress in the center, and that pang of worry was back in a flash.  How could she have been so distant and selfish when Bea died to not even reach out to Nell and Luce?  “I don’t think I’ve ever been in here.  It’s..beautiful. Are you… in here a lot?”, she asked vaguely.

Nell nodded at Leah’s answer, having wanted to confirm one last time that this was all in line with her sister’s friend. Though she figured...it wouldn’t be blasphemy is she also counted Leah amongst her own friends. Certainly they weren’t as close, but it was safe to say she always enjoyed the other girl’s company. “Alright then, deal. Thank you again, Leah.” As for not spreading the news of the tears, Nell didn’t hesitate to reassure the phoenix. “Oh no, of course. I won’t be telling anyone where they came from. I know how...people like you can often be targeted. And I have no interest in putting you in danger.” If anyone tried to hurt Leah, Nell wouldn’t hesitate to make them regret, and she knew Bea was of a very similar mind. “Really? I guess that makes sense. I’m pretty...protective of the greenhouse. I don’t usually like people going into it without me. Of course, sometimes Bea gets to come in if she needs vegetables for dinner sometimes or something.” It was still strange at times, readjusting to Bea being back and mentioning her in everyday conversation as if she’d neve died in the first place. “I mean- I spend a lot of time here. It’s...peaceful, you know?” It was basically Nell’s retreat at this point, a safe space to be away from all the noise of the outside world. “I’m glad you like it, though. Maybe you could take come clippings with you if you won’t accept payment.”

With a smile, Leah dismissed Nell’s thankfulness.  She never quite knew how to react to gratefulness, especially when she knew in her heart something was the right thing to do.  She didn’t have to question whether she’d give the tears to Nell, or whether to bring extra for the other Vurals.  “You brought her back”, she started, knowing she didn’t have to explain what she meant.  “And now you’re hurt because of it.  This is literally...literally the least I can do.” At Nell’s reassurance, she reached into her bag, fishing around for one of the vials she’d brought with her.  She nodded, letting out a breath.  “I trust you, Nell. And, well… if it does somehow get out, it’s not like I don’t know where to find you,” she teased.  Her hand finally found the vial, and she pulled it out, holding it up triumphantly.  Her eyes landed on Nell’s wounded arms, and she blinked.  They were worse than she thought.  “They won’t be instant”, she explained.  “Not with your arms being so bad.  But maybe after an hour or two, you’ll notice a huge difference.”  She looked around, amazed at the variety and condition of plants that surrounded them.  Nell was describing the greenhouse almost like her own private sanctuary, and it reminded her of how she felt about the library.  “Maybe I’ll take some veggies of my own?”, she suggested.  “Do you have any kale?”

“We brought her back,” Nell corrected gently, knowing it wasn’t just herself that was responsible for Bea walking the earth once again. “I would have...there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. For Luce, too.” She figured that went without saying, but the witch wasn’t sure what else to say in response to Leah’s words when it came to her wounds. At the sight of the vial, Nell’s eyes lit up, hopeful as to how they might make it so her arms seemed to constantly sting and crack. She tried to reign it in as Leah explained, giving a nod. As for her arms...they looked like someone had splashed a map of the world across them, shiny continents plastered onto rougher patches here and there, still raw in places and pink and fragile. “Anything is better than this,” she simply said, endlessly frustrated with how limited she’d been ever since the resurrection. “I’m ready whenever you are?” Nell asked, presenting the gruesome sight of her arms for inspection and phoenix tear application. “Leah, you can have literally as many veggies as you want if it means being able to do something as take a fucking shower without having to worry about reopening my arms. I’ll give you an entire forest of kale.”

Leah nodded.  “You all did.” She couldn’t imagine what it took for all of them to get Bea back, even now, it was clearly still affecting everyone in some way.  She’d helped Winston with their tech problem, at least, but emotional trauma was going to be a little harder for all of them to overcome.  “I know that, Nell.  And I know they know that, too.”  Even when they bickered or argued, the love the Vural girls had for one another was so strong you could basically see it flowing through them.  She expected nothing less than Nell and Luce to try to bring Bea back when it first happened, and part of her felt like a coward for giving up hope so soon. With a laugh, letting her eyes fall to more of Nell’s plants.  “You’re like a regular old granny, growing all of this in here, you know that?  Okay, deal… I’ll have free reign of all your kale and zucchini.  That’s how you can repay me.” She winced as she got a better look at Nells arms, every new angle seemed to provide deeper insight into just how damaged they truly were.  “Shit.  How did you explain this to the hospital?”, she asked, as she popped open the vial.  “I can see why they wanted to keep you there for so long.  Okay, hold still…”, she warned.  Gently taking hold of Nell’s left wrist, Leah pulled her arm out straight so the tears could access area’s evenly.  Her face was serious and concentrated as she began the process, tipping the vial along Nell’s arm and letting the contents spill out onto it. The last thing she wanted was to use too much on one arm before she had the chance to start the process on the other. “Stop me if it’s hurting you”, she said, letting her eyes shoot to Nell’s for only a second.  

As far as emotional trauma went, Nell was firmly refusing to let it truly sink in, or rather acknowledge it. She’d power through. She always did. That’s how it worked, right? Either way, a warm smile was on her lips at the mention of her sisters and their relationship. It was certainly..complicated at times, but at the end of the day they were family. “Excuse me?” Nell said, faking outrage at Leah’s words. “I am not a grandma! But if I was a grandma, I’d be the hippest one. If anyone’s a grandma, it’s Bea.” She stayed still as Leah poured, a little apprehensive as the drops began to flow. There was a reason her blood sacrifice scars had been so prominent on her arms before the necromancy had even happened. Injuries made by blood magic weren’t meant to be healed by magical terms. But at this point, Nell was desperate to have her arms healed. With everything going on with the Ring, she couldn’t afford to be caught at anything less than her best. Hopefully, seeing as phoenix tears weren’t the traditional sort of magical healing, it wouldn’t have any adverse effects. Finally, the tears made contact with her skin, and Nell clenched her teeth as a burning sensation began to follow the liquid’s path. That wasn’t supposed to happen, was it? Maybe it was just the residual blood magic fighting back, trying to keep the sacrificial wound from being healed. But even though it hurt, she could see her skin stitching itself back together before her very eyes. If she could have her arms back, the pain was worth it. “No, keep going. It’s fine.”

With a loud laugh, Leah held up a hand defensively.  “You’re the coolest granny”, she reassured.  “All the other grandmas go to you for grandma fashion advice.”  She pointed at her with a teasing finger, grinning.  “Are you calling Bea a grandma cause you think she’s old?  Because I’m not too far behind her, honey.”  She bit her lip as she continued to pour the tears, wanting to get every inch of Nell’s arm before she starting on the other one.  Her eyes darted up when she noticed it was causing Nell pain, but she continued. She nodded at her words, understanding. Pausing in between would just make the pain last longer.  “Hey, where’s that big guy Taki?  I haven’t seen him in a while”, she said, wanting to distract Nell.  Satisfied that she was done with her left arm, she grabbed Nell’s right wrist, glancing up at her before she began again.  “We good?”

“You bet I am,” Nell joked back with a slight chuckle. “I’m the baddest bitch in the retirement home.” Though, if she was being honest...the chances of making it to a ripe, old age at the rate she was going seemed slim. Before the last couple of months, she’d barely thought about her own mortality, but after watching her sister die, being an inch from death, and continuously finding herself in bleak situations...it was a reality she could no longer escape. “I’m calling both of you grandmas because I think you’re both old,” she shot back with a grin. Then, Taki seemed to appear at the very mention of his name, instantly rubbing up against the ankles of Leah with eyes sleepily slitted in contentment. He’d always been fond of the girl, after all- they shared the element of fire. Nell spared him a smile before gritting her teeth again, and giving Leah a determined nod. “We’re good. I just want my arms back.” She’d bear the pain ten times over if it meant she could get rid of this sense of powerlessness. 

Leah rolled her eyes playfully, chuckling.  It was something she could really see happening, Nell being the ring leader to a bunch of badass old ladies.  “I’ll be sure to remind you of that on your 28th birthday, we’ll see what you think of that then.”  She smiled down at Taki as he walked by, taking her attention away from Nell’s arms momentarily.  “I’ve summoned him!”, she joked.  “Hey there big guy.”  She always felt a certain kinship with the Ovinikk, and hadn’t seen him since before Bea died.  Leah nodded back, licking her lips before pouring the last bit of the vial onto Nell’s right arm.  “There.”, she said, letting her eyes meet Nell’s again.  “That should be it.  They already look like they’re getting better.”  It wasn’t a lie- she could tell just by looking at them that they were already vastly better than when she got there.  But Nell still had a long way to go.  “It’ll take a few hours, … maybe even into tomorrow to be 100%.  Maybe you should have a movie night with Winston or someone, just so you’re not tempted to go out and get yourself into more trouble… at least not until you’re fully healed.”  There was a playful smile on her lips, but the sentiment was real- if Nell wanted this to work, she needed to rest.  Suddenly, she held up her finger, as if she was remembering something.  She rummaged through her bag, pulling out two more vials and presenting them to Nell.  “For Bea and Luce.  You’ll probably see both of them before me, so… I figured I’d just give them to you.”

“If I make it until then,” Nell joked, though the delivery of it might have come off a bit more morbid than she’d intended. With everything that had happened in the past few months...it wasn’t exactly looking all that promising. The witch tried to brush the thought aside like an errant cobweb, moving on to something much more enjoyable. Taki. “He must have sensed your radiant presence,” she said lightheartedly. Meanwhile, the oversized cat began to purr ferociously, patting his paws against Leah’s legs as he stretched, almost as it to ask why she was paying attention to anything other than him. As Leah signaled the end to the healing, Nell instantly went to test the limits of her arms, stretching and flexing them. They still weren’t prettily healed, but her voice broke out in a relieved laugh when there was little to no pain as she moved. “Thank you, Leah,” she breathed, not knowing how to express her endless gratitude in a way that was sufficient. “Thank you so much. This is...this is really helpful.” At least she could gain some of her autonomy and power back now that her arms were nearly mended. As she gripped the vials in her hands, she again asked, “Are you sure? If you give us these you have to take more vegetables and stuff than you can carry.”

Leah gave Nell a pointed look.  “Don’t talk like that”, she warned, putting a hand on Nell’s shoulder.  “You can’t let yourself even think like that, Nell, because you’re gonna manifest it.  You’ll make it to 28.  You’ll make it to 108.  Because your sisters will kill you if you don’t.”   There was no doubt in her mind that if something happened to Nell before then (and who knew, with all the bad luck she’d been having lately), that Bea and Luce and Blanche and Winston would go to the ends of the earth to bring her back, just as they had done for Bea.  But she also couldn’t imagine all of them having to go through that again.  She laughed at Taki at her feet and at Nell’s comment, kneeling down to scratch behind his ears now that she was done with Nell’s arms.  “Do you need some attention, Baby?” she asked over his purr.   She pressed her face into Taki’s and then kissed him on the forehead before quickly standing back up to chat with Nell, though she continued to pet him.  She nodded to acknowledge the thanks, biting her lip.  “I’m really, really glad, because after all the shit you’ve been through lately, this is the least I can do, like I said.  For all of you.  I’m so, so positive”, she nodded again, and then glanced around at all the vegetables just begging to be picked.  “Okay, fine… but can you and Taki help me bring them to my car?”

[connorssock]

To Hear You Smile

Making dumb decision was a right of passage growing up. And it was something that Gavin took to the extremes. He was young, angry and stupid, wanting any kind of relief from life in general. Temporary solace came in the form of Red Ice. It blurred the pain of a broken family, of not meeting expectations at school, of being repeatedly told he will amount to nothing. At least when he was high, none of those mattered.

Of course, it was only a short term relief, all too soon money problems caught up with him, he was kicked out of his family home and Gavin wondered the streets aimlessly. Cold nights under bridges or huddled in doorways weren’t his idea of a good time and even being high wasn’t enough to chase away the pangs of hunger. There wasn’t much left in the world for him, he’d wasted his potential and now nobody would even throw him a stick to help keep afloat. In a black spiral, the only thing that made sense was to go out with a bang, one final high so great, he’d slip from the world with a smile on his face at least.

Pooling all his money into buying as much Red Ice as he could, he found a quiet alley and got comfortable. He sighed as the drugs flooded his system and let himself drift.

His plan didn’t include waking up in hospital, with a multitude of wires and tubes surrounding him. But that was where he’d found himself, with a couple of very sympathetic nurses. Gavin couldn’t tell them why he’d done it, not without the worry of being locked up or, even worse, being sent back home. And he definitely didn’t want the pitying looks people would send his way. Despite it all, he still got them when nobody showed up at visiting hours, even after his family had been notified.

Medical professionals tutted over him, gave him a rundown of just how much he’d fucked himself over. There was something about blood pressure, intracranial pressure complications and lifelong management - there was something about avoiding all manner of caffeine in there. In all honesty, Gavin didn’t pay much attention to it, he didn’t feel like he’d have to worry about things like that for too long. As soon as he was out, he was only going to do it again because there was no way he could repay the hospital bills. He hadn’t asked to be saved anyway.

At least, that had been his plan. But one of the orderlies, an utterly no nonsense woman took one look at him and decided that he was worth her effort. She knew when he was due to be discharged, blood pressure pills prescribed at such a tender age and with no hope of ever coming off them. Whatever she saw in him, he was grateful to her years later.

She’d helped him get a job as a welder’s apprentice. It didn’t pay much but his boss let him sleep in the back office until he found his feet. All in all, it was a pretty sweet deal, the couch was a pullout bed, there was a small kitchen area for employees to use at lunchtime which he used in the evenings to boil noodles. And each day, his boss’ wife would send him a packed lunch to brighten his day.

Years sped by and by the time Gavin was 30 he was assistant manager. By 35 he was co-owner of the small firm and once his boss retired, it would become his. Things were so much better than he could imagine. While he wasn’t the most popular guy around, he was respected and acknowledged as pretty damn decent at his job.

Sometimes he wondered whether he was a little bit of an outcast because he didn’t huddle over a mug of coffee each morning - not even a decaf one. Since his time in the hospital, he’d read up on what he could about how badly he’d fucked up. And he swore to never put his body through something like that again. Getting clean once had been difficult enough.

It was a little bit of a surprise when Chris and Tina invited him on a night out. While it wasn’t usually his scene, the temptation to go and have fun with two people who actually seemed to like him was too strong. One or two drinks wouldn’t hurt him.

The bar they were at wasn’t too crowded, the company was good and Gavin was staring at the last dredges of his second beer. Owing to the fact he didn’t often actually drink, he was a bit more than merry as he watched Tina toddle off towards the bar. When she came back, she was proudly brandishing a tray with six glasses on them.

“Jäger Bombs,” she declared and Gavin watched her drop the shot glass into the tumbler and down it.

Chris looked at Gavin and shrugged. They each reached for the glasses and mimicked Tina. The drink burned on the way down along with the sickly sweet fizzy drink that Gavin had assumed as apple juice. It was nice, but he doubted he’d choose to pay for such a drink again.

They sat around and laughed about work but something felt off. Gavin couldn’t stop the trembling of his hands, he felt wired and his heart beat wildly in his chest. The pounding headache echoed each thump and he needed fresh air. Something was wrong. He stood up as his vision swam, wanted to get Chris to help him get out, maybe get help. Gavin remembered reaching for Chris’ shoulder but nothing after that.

The sound of machines beeping was eerily familiar. Gavin tried to open his eyes but darkness greeted him. The smell of antiseptic and cheap detergent flooded his nose and his heart sank. Whatever had happened, he was in hospital again.

There was a noise to his left and he turned to look despite it being so dark.

“Relax,” an unfamiliar voice soothed him, “you’re at the hospital. A doctor will be by soon to talk to you.”

Sure enough, there was the sound of footsteps, someone sighing as they sat down.

“Sorry to pull you out of bed in the middle of the night,” Gavin tried to smile, “but you can turn the light on, I promise I’m not a gremlin.”

“Mister Reed, the time is 3:14 in the afternoon, currently you are blind due to pressure on your optic nerves and it may take as long as several months before you will be able to see again.”

What followed was worse than his first time in hospital. Thankfully this time round though there were people to visit him. Tina and Chris were first through his door, falling over each other to apologise, saying they didn’t realise he avoided caffeine for such reasons. Privately, Gavin thought that while he didn’t make a song and dance about it, the fact he avoided not just tea and coffee, but also chocolate and anything else that might have caffeine in it. But it wasn’t important now, the damage had already been done, and really it had started with his first hit of Red Ice.

Because of worries over his health and a need to monitor his wellbeing, Gavin was given a room at the hospital to live in for as long as it took to get better. He was grateful that his insurance covered it, that was one less thing to worry about. But being blind and in hospital was boring. If he listened to the TV or the radio, he was easily startled when a nurse touched his arm to get his attention. Without something to listen to, he was bored out of his mind and wished someone would visit him for even give minutes.

Sleep became his friend, it helped pass time quicker and stopped his mind from whirling round and round over nothing. He’d settled down for his second nap of the day when the sound of clacking claws drew his attention. It approached his open door and Gavin scrunched up his face as he tried to figure out what he was hearing.

“Knock knock,” a gruff voice announced himself.

“Who is it?” Gavin pushed to sit up.

“I’m Hank, and with me I have Sumo. We come once a week to visit people stuck in this dreary old place to cheer them up with a cuddle.”

“No offence but I don’t cuddle strangers. Especially not when I can’t even see.”

The laugh he got in return was good-natured at least.

“Sumo is a Saint Bernard. A huge, fat and fluffy monstrosity who would sell me if it meant even a single second more of cuddling. Stick your left hand out, lower, that’s it. He’s going to touch your palm with his nose and then probably lick it for good measure.”

True to his words, something cold and wet nudged Gavin’s palm before a warm, wet tongue ran over it. Before Gavin could say anything, the bed dipped and a fuzzy body snuggled against his side with happy panting. If he wasn’t mistaken, a tail thumped furiously against his leg.

Despite his misgivings, having the giant dog to cuddle did lighten Gavin’s mood. And even exchanging a few pleasantries with Hank was fun. It came to an abrupt end when there was another knock on Gavin’s door.

“Mr. Reed?” a tentative voice asked.

“Call me Gavin, whoever you are,” Gavin replied.

Next to him, Sumo let out a happy little huff and jumped off the bed to greet the newcomer.

“Hello Sumo, hello Hank.”

“Connor.” If Gavin wasn’t mistaken, Hank sounded flustered and he grinned at the soap opera-esque ideas forming in his mind.

It turned out that Connor was there to help with things like reading out letters, helping manage finances and the like. He was softly spoken, gentle and it irked Gavin somehow.

Over the course of the weeks, both Hank’s and Connor’s presence became something to look forward to. Especially when they overlapped because Hank would always fumble his words in such an endearing way that Gavin had started to root for them.

“Why don’t you ask Connor out?” Gavin asked him casually while Sumo licked his fingers.

“Have you seen him?” Hank asked.

“No,” Gavin was quick to reply and laughed. “Nor you. But given how your dog is large, overweight and scraggly, I would guess you’re much the same. Terrifying to meet at first but an utter pushover and a softie at heart.”

“Thanks,” came the gruff grumble.

“In all seriousness though, just pull up some courage. I think he likes you too.”

They sat in silence for a bit until a knock sounded on Gavin’s door.

“Gavin,” Connor said, except it didn’t quite sound like him. Even Sumo seemed hesitant to greet him.

Quickly, Hank left with a muttered goodbye and it was just Connor and Gavin left in the room.

“You okay?” Gavin asked, genuinely curious.

“I am optimal.”

That afternoon, reading through the correspondence was sharper, there were fewer moments when Connor stopped and he didn’t chat to Gavin like he usually would. All in all, it was terribly out of character. Still, Gavin appreciated the change, he liked Connor but he was usually too soft and cheery for his taste.

It went on like that, most of the time Connor was his usual self but some days, he went in a totally different person. On those days, even Hank seemed a little taken aback, though at least he’d finally managed to ask Connor out for a drink.

“How was your date?” Gavin asked when Connor announced himself coldly at his door.

There was a beat of silence before Connor replied.

“It was adequate.”

That wasn’t the response Gavin had been hoping for. Usually, even on a quieter day, he could get Connor to sing Hank’s praise and enthuse about the man and his dog.

“Holy shit,” he whistled as he realised something, “you’re not Connor.”

Silence stretched in the room and nobody moved.

“I’m afraid you’re rather mistaken,” Connor tried to explain.

“Cut the crap. Who are you and what have you done with Connor?” Gavin snapped and there was a sigh as someone sat in the visitor’s chair.

“Promise you won’t tell anyone else?”

“Hand on heart,” Gavin nodded wish a Cheshire grin.

“You may call me Nines, I am Connor’s twin.”

“No shit. You went full on Parent Trap, didn’t you?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean by that,” Nines replied. “Connor is very busy with his work, his night classes take their toll. But for the course, he needs to do some voluntary work too. On days he’s swamped, I take over and cover here at the hospital. Nobody knows and I’d appreciate it if it stayed that way.”

Gavin nodded and pretended to zip his lips shut before throwing away the key.

Now that the secret was out, it became easier to talk to them. Connor was still sweet and absolutely head over heels for Hank while Nines’ sharp wit and barbs had Gavin snickering delightedly. He wasn’t going to lie, even before he’d know about the double act Nines and Connor pulled, he’d enjoyed Nines’ company more than Connor’s. To the point he’d felt a little bad when Hank and Connor seemed to happily in love because part of him wanted the snarky side of Connor for himself.

“Does Hank know?” Gavin asked Connor one day.

“He has met Nines, yes,” the reply was brushed off as Connor returned to reading him something about pension plans from work.

The topic didn’t come up again but Gavin was content. His vision gradually lightened, soon shapes bobbed around that started to look humanoid. Part of him was elated that he was going to be getting out of hospital so soon, but he didn’t want to lose Nines. Or even Hank or Connor for that matter.

They cheered with him when he could finally look at their outlines rather than stare over their shoulder by accident. Hank clapped him on the shoulder while Connor waxed lyrical about how wonderful it was. Still, it was Nines’ “about fucking time” that had him the happiest.

It was only fitting that Gavin’s vision was coming back rapidly once it began to improve. In the week since he’d had Hank visit, colours had bled back into his life and people’s faces were becoming clearer each day.

A knock in his door sounded before it opened and a tall, imposing man strode through.

“Hello Gavin,” Nines’ voice was unmistakable.

“Holy shit you are gorgeous,” Gavin laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, you sound amazing but you look even better.”

Nines didn’t even blush at the compliment. Instead, he pulled the letters from Gavin’s bedside table and sat down with them.

“I guess you don’t need me to help with these anymore?”

Gavin ruefully shook his head. He didn’t expect Nines to look up at him with a smile and a terse “good”. A number was scribbled on an envelope and Nines spent the allocated hour insulting him while Gavin gave as good as he got.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise to bump into Hank just as he was preparing to leave the hospital. The man had Sumo in his harness, an ID tag dangled from it. What was even more surprising was that Connor was with him, holding onto his arm with a small smile.

Gavin wasn’t going to lie, he did do a double take, thinking it was Nines on Hank’s arm. But a second look and he snorted. How nobody else noticed that the two of them were switching places as it suited them, he’d never know. To him, they looked and sounded so different. After a quick exchange of pleasantries, Gavin strolled out of the building and smiled at the sunlight for the first time in a long while.

A figure pushed away from the bench next to the door and greeted him with a sharp smile before swooping down for a kiss. Though Gavin still wasn’t allowed to drive, Nines was more than happy to help him with that in an official boyfriend capacity.

[intheemyart]

Declaring The Defeat

The media uproar regarding the divorce of the most beloved couple of the year brought so many problems to Alverstoke. The advertisers terminated their contracts, the drama and movie productions on hold, and the agency suffered from stock issues.

Alverstoke couldn’t even leave his house today as the media were getting scarier than that day in November when they caught him proposing to Frederica in a restaurant back in Singapore. What people thought to be the cutest and sweetest couple they ever saw in the entertainment industry now turned upside down. What people believed as the greatest family in the industry now faced their downfall.

Just at the beginning of last July, they appeared for a month in a four special episodes of the well-known parenting show, The Return of Superman. Together with the twins they showed their love and affection towards each other. How Alverstoke treated her as a queen, preparing her needs and breakfast in the morning. Giving her a kiss before going to work. Not a faint of marital problem seen.

Perhaps that’s the reason on why Frederica should be an actress instead of a conservator, she acted gracefully and beautifully more than her husband. She could act like nothing happened in the relationship that once struggled after an infidelity and an abuse. Frederica— the woman that he loves a lot, must’ve been struggling with so many things right now. He out her in an unfavorable situation. Not only her, but her family and the twins too.

Alverstoke couldn’t help but to be engulfed by the guilt he gained from all of his ego and deeds. Things that he could’ve just avoided in the past. He made up his mind and discussed the matter carefully with Daehan, the CEO to his agency’s company. It’s not an easy decision but he felt like he needs to do it for the sake of everyone. To pay his sins and mistakes towards his family that he cherished the most.

Sins that God would never even forgive him. Sins that left permanent scars to everyone around him, especially the twins and also Frederica herself. “Are you ready, Al? Are you really okay with this? This is a huge decision that you’ll make in your entire life,” asked Daehan. Alverstoke nodded without hesitation. He’s so sure with his decision that he doesn’t want to gave another thought into it. Daehan could only smile at this moment. The faintest smile he could ever gave to him. The man let Alverstoke walked in front him, into the hall full of reporters and media across the country, even the world. Flashes of cameras. Intimidating gaze towards him.

It’s a press conference. A press conference that Alverstoke requested to clarify everything for Frederica and everyone. A press conference to announce something important to everyone in the room, to the public, to everyone.

No more lies. No more secrets. He’s going to say everything and apologize to the people whom he hurt throughout the marriage and the on-going process of getting divorce. There’s no smile on his face— he looked gloomy. Not because of his acting, but what he truly felt right now. What he felt inside his heart. Not only Frederica, he has been suffering from his feelings and guilts too.

Being far away from her and the twins, not being able to meet them directly, it drove him crazy. Those nine months that he spent with her was the greatest time in his lifetime. Now, those times are gone and all alone, he was left all alone in the darkness. In all the feelings that he caused himself in. He stood up on the stage before he sat on the chair provided. Some documents were on the table, just to help him with what he’s going to say.

“First of all, I would like to clarify the rumors that happened to be circulating around my marriage. Yes, it is true that Frederica has filed for a divorce days ago. She was the one ask for it. The reason was because of my monstrous behaviors that one can never forgive. I abused her three times and also involved in an infidelity with someone else during her pregnancy. This is purely my fault and not on her side. An act that no one should follow. 

I’ve caused so much suffering for her and my children that it drove me crazy. The guilts will never be erased from my heart and my mind. I have failed myself as a father and a husband. I’ve hurt her and the children deeply that I shouldn’t even ask for a chance. I will forever live in silence after this and learn to be a better person, thought this shouldn’t be forgiven. I will live my life quietly Again, I’m so sorry for causing the issue, permanent scars, pain, and tears to those around me, especially for Frederica. I will also announce my retirement from the industry today. After the current movie production finished and released, I will retire fully from the industry to repent of my unforgivable sins. There will be no actor Alverstoke Destler-Lee again. I will repay for the damages that I’ve done to those around me.” Alverstoke then bowed deeply while crying so hard. Not only to explain his mistakes, but also to apologize indirectly to Frederica who must’ve been watching from Singapore. For a minute and even more, he bowed in deep regret. Of the sorrow, pain, guilt, and regrets that he felt inside his heart. A raging fire of wanting to blame himself again and again.

Alverstoke stood up just to bowed to everyone. Flashes of the cameras taking his pictures here and there might blinded his eyes but at this moment, he couldn’t even see a thing from his own tears. He wanted to bow again and again and let Frederica know from the other side of the world that he’s very very very guilty towards everything that he had done to her. He finally sat after Daehan begged him to do so through the earpiece monitor.

“How about the custody?”

“Frederica will be responsible with the custody. She will be the one to receive full custody of the twins and for their sake, I’ve agreed on her request to not visit or come closer for the time being.”

“How much for the alimony?”

“As per the pre-marital agreement we’ve agreed on in the past, I will give all of my wealth including money and properties to her. $45.000.000 for the properties and $450.000.000 cash. I only keep an apartment, car, and some amount of money that would support me to live peacefully and quietly for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t you regret your decision regarding all the wealth?”

“No, I don’t. In fact, until today and always, I will still love her as I was in the past. I will forever love her and the kids. It all happens because of me and those would never be able to repay those damages and heartbreaks that I’ve caused to her and her family. Also, the twins.”

“Is it true that you cheated with a fellow actress during Frederica’s pregnancy?”

“Yes, I did. That’s unforgivable and should never be forgiven. I’ve cheated behind her three weeks after the wedding party in Langkawi.”

“How’s she doing right now?”

“She’s with the twins I believe. We’re still in a good term for the twin’s sake. We’ve agreed on co-parenting the kids together and later, until she’s assured, she would let me visit the twins on the weekends.”

“Do you have plans on remarrying?”

“No. I won’t remarry. For me, Frederica will always be my first and last love. I won’t ask for more. Though we’ve separated and chose our own path, I will always stay true to my heart.”

“What if Frederica remarry?”

“I will let her. For I believe there are so many better man that could treat her and the twins better than I am. I won’t stop her from what she believe is good for her and the twins. I’m no one but the father to the kids now.”

Questions by questions, he answered the question honestly without hiding anything else. Some question felt so painful; such as remarrying and the custody. But it is what it is.

“Who is the actress you cheated with during the marriage?”

Alverstoke sighed. He doesn’t want to drag anyone into the mess but he knew that he and that woman should pay for their sins. “Yeo Soyeon.”

Gasps were heard in the room. He couldn’t look at any camera because he felt so horrible. Because he felt like a trash. A trash for letting go the most expensive gem one could ever have in life. Who would’ve guessed? That actress that always showed her innocent side was his mistress. The mistress that cause their marriage to sunk into the deepest hole of regrets and failure.

After those questions were asked, Alverstoke stood up once again and asked for everyone’s attention. “I beg everyone to let her live her life in peace as she’s a non-celebrity with professional job too. Please let her live her life comfortably and respect her privacy, the twin’s privacy, colleagues, and her family’s. Please. Please. Please. Please help me to stop the frenzy, false rumors as well as comments towards her and her family. She’s a nice woman whom I cherish so much in life. I don’t want to cause any kind of pain and hard times for her,” he added. Alverstoke then looked at a camera that aired this press conference live. He bowed deeply again while crying again and again. “I apologize sincerely to everyone, to you and the twins, Fre.”

Today, he apologized to her publicly. He asked for their help. He explained all of his monstrous acts. He retired from his work. ㅤㅤ   Today, it’s his downfall.

End of Declaring The Defeat.

[bounward]

i will carry you always | kaori | final react

It was a whirlwind to take in. A mess of knowledge and truths that were too much to understand, too much to comprehend in the moment.

She tried to take it all in, but merely simplified the whole ordeal to its ending: their circumstances, their situation, and the offers on the table. 

Live or die. Go back or stay here. See her family again or—

What alternative could ever dissuade her from that option? Everything she had ever done in her life was for them, after all. That was how she had chosen to live her life.

Kaori Yamashita wanted, desperately, to live. Hadn’t she made that clear? Hadn’t she said as much a hundred times over?

She had no intentions of dying here. She had no intentions of conceding to death. She still needed to live.

So she walked up the tower. She found her name plastered on a door. She stepped into that room.

And there she stood for a long, long time.

If anyone found her standing in the room, watching an older woman bring a mug of tea to her lips—

(kaori had stolen so many things in her short life. money, more than anything, but there was plenty else that found its ways to lining her pockets, because there came a point early in her life that theft needed to come as naturally as breathing.

so she'd stolen food. she'd stolen medicine. she’d stolen necessities they couldn’t get otherwise. she'd stolen the sort of things only her mother would ever notice were slipped into their home without a receipt attached because it was the sort of secret she could burden only her mother with. 

she'd stolen everything—except the cigarettes her mother smoked. those she would pay for, every time in spite of finn’s incessant teasing, because it felt important to pay for those. like a peace treaty, like an offering; she could hand her mother the cigarettes she had asked for and, when her mother gave her a skeptical, weary look, kaori could hand her a receipt too.

it always pulled a smile from her mother, as worn as it was. it would make the corners of her eyes wrinkle. kaori would tease her, brushing away the tension by asking when she was finally going to quit, and her mother would laugh lightly and remind her that the yamashitas weren’t quitters.

but looking at her mother now, so few new wrinkles to compliment those ones still near her eyes, kaori didn't see a single cigarette in her future.

maybe the universe had balanced things out. tried to right the wrongs kaori had committed in her life. maybe it was a way to make her repay every cent she had stolen from another: for all the things she stole in her life, the universe stole time from her.

but the universe let her mother stop smoking.

it remembered kaori paid for those cigarettes.)

—they would find her with her forehead pressed to a monitor, mouth moving as a daughter pleaded something quiet to her mother.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I were better. I wish you hadn't seen me none, all like that. You was tired alla the time, and I done that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I wish I were a better daughter.

If anyone found her standing in the room, watching the man who it took her too long to recognize as her brother—

(her brother, her brother, her baby brother—he'd been thirteen last she'd seen him and look at him now; was he her age? was he older? of all the things to notice, she couldn't help but see that he'd grown so much taller, and she could imagine so cleanly how much joy he would find in towering over her when only an inch had sent him into laughing spells.

his laugh would be different, though, wouldn't it, because his voice was different now too. it wouldn't be that high laugh, the one that would crack and squeak the longer his giggles shook him; it'd be something lower now, something warmer now, something with a familiar bark that synced with her father's laugh, with hers. it'd be a confirmation of what she'd feared, a reminder of her failure to meet one of the deadlines she had set for herself while residing here:

she had missed his fourteenth birthday.

she couldn't bear to wonder how terrified he'd been, but did it matter, that one night of terror, when she was seeing the man he was now up on that stage? he'd always hated being the center of attention, but look, look, he was demanding the world to see him now.

he wasn't the same boy she had told good bye. he wasn’t the little boy who she had told that she loved with a grin while he shoved her arm and told her not to call him when she landed because she was so annoying about it. he knew she was fine; she didn't need to tell him! he knew she was fine!

but time changed so much when she wasn’t watching.)

—they'd find her with a rough, well-worked hand pressed against the monitor, curling into a fist while her other hand, just as rough, just as well-worked, just as silently stained as the other, pressed hard against her heart. There would be a quiet whimper, a careful whine, because words could not right this wrong, and she knew he’d understand the language she spoke now.

She'd missed his fourteenth birthday. And his fifteenth. And his sixteenth. And on and on, and on it would keep going, because she wished for him to outlive her not once over, not twice over, but three times, four times, five times—

She wished to never see him enter the awful world of the Reapers, because she couldn’t protect him from it. She couldn’t stop death from finding him someday too, but she could wish it so desperately away.

She pressed down harder on her heart, and it ached.

His thirteenth birthday was the last one she got to see for herself.

How could she apologize for that?

If anyone found her standing in the room, watching a ghost she'd known to be bed bound for years now able to navigate the world again—

(she was sat on the artificial shoreline, gaze set out across water that she had not yet soaked red with another woman's blood. her voice was warm still, but tight, slightly irritable and falling flat as she explained she had inherited her lycanthropy from her father.

the woman she would come to know was named caelia sat next to her, and caelia asked:

"Do you resent your father for introducing this inheritance to you, by any chance?"

kaori wondered, in that moment, how caelia seemed to have a knack for pulling an absolutely unimaginable amount of truths out of her. 

                                                                                 〇

she was laying on the floor of the passion suite, staring at the ceiling as she explained the things her father had done upon learning she had inherited his lycanthropic genes. the risks he had taken, the things he had sacrificed, the self experimentation he had underwent, and how it had all ended with him wrapped up in a bundle of tubes and wires that kept him alive in spite of the accidental damage he had wrought on his vital organs.

she said she didn't know who she blamed more for his sickness: him, or herself.

but it didn't matter much, did it, when she took the responsibility on for herself anyway. she insisted that she was fine, that she would be fine, but chris asked:

"Are you gonna be able to look back on your life up 'til the point you died without regretting the way you lived?"

she threw back an answer eventually:

I ain't gonna regret it. Living like that, if it means they're alive. I ain't.

it rang true in her ears at that moment. she thought it was true.

                                                                                 〇

she was sat in a shitty little restaurant in a shitty little park across from a woman who found a way to push all the wrong buttons in all the right ways. cricket pushed, and pushed, and pushed, never luring answers out of kaori like caelia could but instead tearing them out of her through bared teeth and snarled words and a mounting, frustrating desire for cricket to just get it. to hear her. to break from her dangerous naivete in a world that would eat her alive if cricket kept giving it the right chances.

they sat across from each other, only a table between them, and cricket asked:

"What’s the point of a life when all you’re doing is making sure you stay alive?!"

kaori didn't have an answer. she couldn't find one, not then, so she slammed her hands on the table, reared up, yelled that cricket didn't know a thing about her life—

but it wasn't an answer to the question that wound up haunting her.

                                                                                 〇

kaori watched the ghost that was her father move through his remaining years, and she thought about hushed conversations with her mother in the kitchen at two in the morning. her mother, desperate and terrified at the sight of her bandaged and bruised daughter—there was blood staining her daughter’s fingers, blood staining her daughter’s teeth, blood staining the money kaori was shoving into her hands—demanded to know where it all came from. begged kaori to stop coming home like this. pleaded to know what had happened.

her mother insisted, every time, that she didn't want this money. that kaori needed to take it back to wherever she had gotten it from. her mother didn't want it.

kaori, just as quietly, in just as hushed tones—because she knew how good her father's hearing was, how good chiko's might be one day, and these two women had decided this burden was theirs alone to carry together—asked what choice did they have?

they needed her blood stained money, and her mother had to concede every time.

                                                                                 〇

kaori watched the ghost that was her father, watched him get to live for just bit a longer, watched him come back to life in a way she hadn't seen in nine years, and she began to find the answers to the questions she had been asked:

yes, she resented him.

yes, she regretted her life.

but the point, the point—to see her father no longer bedbound, to see him laughing without wheezing through coughs, to see him ruffle chiko's hair and kiss her mother on the cheek and they were all smiling, and they were all alive—

this was the point, wasn't it? living a life where all she did was stay alive:

this was the point.)

—they would find something fighting within her. It wasn’t her wolfish form, that massive creature that so often forced its way out, but instead it was that drive to refuse death at every offered turn. That shuddering, tearing, terribly clawed creature that she inherited just the same from her father had screamed for years now to stay alive. Stay alive. All you have to do is stay alive.

They would find it howling now, raging in her trembling body, demanding for her to keep living. To go back. To breath air into something that wasn't hollow lungs and feel her heart beat with purpose. To hold each member of her family so tightly in her grasp that they may break, but they couldn't slip away. She wouldn't risk losing them again. She wouldn't let go this time. 

She wouldn't go this time.

She would stay. She would promise these futures to them with her there this time.

Kaori Yamashita wanted, desperately, to live.

But they were okay without her now. They were happy. They were alive.

She knew that. She knew that. And so if she knew that, then she knew, too, the impossible truth that she didn't want to swallow:

They didn't need her back, and to have her back would be a gamble that would be the most selfish thing she could do. Who was she, to decide that her desire to hold them all one last time was worth them not seeing this future through? What a selfish creature she would have to be, to decide her wants surpassed any one of their happiness.

She knew she was selfish. She knew that. But she was not the right kind of selfish for this.

Everything she had ever done in her short, short life, was for her family. She had given them her heart, and she had given them her life, and every drop of sweat and blood and energy she had coursing through her being she had dedicated to them. It was all theirs, every piece of her; she would give them anything, if it meant they could be happy.

So she would give them this: her death could be for them too.

They were fine now; she knew that.

But Kaori Yamashita was not fine; Kaori Yamashita, in that room, in front of a monitor, choked out through desperate sobs her concession to the singular truth she had refused to let herself see until right then:

I’m so tired.

[mastcomm]

I am not unfavourable, America actually is screwed

Trump supporters in America in assist of MAGA

By Umair Haque

A couple of years in the past, I wrote a put up referred to as “Why We’re Underestimating American Collapse.” Sadly, I feel my predictions have confirmed to be true — although I suppose you may choose that for your self. 90,000 useless and counting. A president who calls the demise toll a “badge of honor.” A paralysed Congress. 40 million unemployed. Right now, I typically get the query, “Why are you unfavourable, Umair?” or, “What may be executed to repair all this?” These are actually the identical query, and my reply, which you most likely received’t like, goes like this: we’re nonetheless underestimating American collapse.

The economics of American collapse say that it’s most likely too late to repair America. It’s possible that that is the brand new regular. Chaos, decline, incompetence, malice, poverty, hopelessness, despair.

Let me clarify, as clearly as I can.

You possibly can see, proper about now, that America is what political scientists name a failed state. A President who tells folks to drink bleach throughout a pandemic. 90,000 useless, of which 90% are pointless. A society that’s not in a position to present fundamentals for it’s residents anymore. A nation through which earnings, financial savings, life expectancy, happiness, belief are all in free-fall. That is the stuff of epic social collapse.

Umair Haque: one other perception on state of America

Now, the explanation that America collapsed is simple. People by no means invested in constructing expansive social techniques, not like Europe. Methods to offer healthcare, retirement, childcare, finance, and so forth.

The consequence has been twofold. One, the common American now goes with out these items. That’s as a result of they’re largely unavailable. For instance, the contemporary meals that I can get on any block in Europe is solely absent in enormous chunks of the States. You purchase processed meals, otherwise you don’t get meals. The identical is true of many, many issues, like, say, training, or earnings. You don’t have a job with ensures and protections like in Canada or Europe. You’ve gotten a decrease high quality — not simply amount — of earnings.

Two, the common American pays costs that the remainder of the world considers completely absurd — as a result of they’re — for the exact same issues. Having a baby? That’ll be $50Okay, thanks. An operation? That’ll be greater than a home. Wish to educate a child? There go your life financial savings. Need a number of contemporary apples? That’ll be ten instances the worth Canadians or Europeans pay. This stuff — the fundamentals of life — are eminently inexpensive in the remainder of the wealthy world. In America, although, they price greater than the common particular person can afford.

How do I do know that? As a result of the common American now dies in debt. Their complete life is one lengthy sequence of unpayable money owed now. First, there’s “lunch debt” which turns into “pupil debt” which turns into a mortgage and bank card debt which turns into “medical debt.” The types of debt in quotes don’t even exist in most different wealthy nations. In America, although, they outline life — exactly as a result of the common American is now a poor particular person, within the sense that they will’t make ends meet with regards to paying for the fundamentals of life.

Certain, they could have an enormous automobile and massive home and an enormous gun. However the financial reality is that this: all these issues are had on debt, and the common American now lives like an impoverished particular person. No financial savings, no property, no liquidity. 80% — eighty % — of People stay paycheck to paycheck, wrestle to pay primary payments, and may’t increase say $500 for an emergency. These are the statistics of a nation having descended into poverty.

Now. I don’t write all that to make some theoretical level, so let’s come again to the query. Can America save itself from collapse? For those who actually perceive the numbers, then the reply above — sadly — is: most likely not. The economics say that America has roughly nearly definitely reached a degree of no return now, and collapse is sort of inevitable. To cease collapse, America must begin investing — massively, abruptly, traditionally — in functioning techniques. To cease longevity and well being cratering, it wants a healthcare system. To cease happiness and belief cratering, it wants inexpensive training and retirement. To cease incomes and financial savings plummeting, it wants retirement techniques and protections for staff. And so forth. Each single aspect of American collapse requires huge, large-scale, sustained public funding to be rotated, that goes on for a decade or extra.

Many People even assist that a lot. They get, by now, that and not using a new social contract, America is completed. Certain, the American Fool — Trump and his military of bleach-drinking morons — don’t. However perhaps the common American does — positive, let’s permit that a lot. The tragic wrinkle is that it makes no distinction. Even when the vast majority of People need a greater America — is it too late to truly construct one? Most likely.

Why? Effectively, who’s going to pay for it? Bear in mind these dismal statistics above? The typical American lives like a poor particular person now? So who precisely goes to pay for all these expansive new techniques? The typical particular person merely can’t afford the very enhancements to society that they want anymore. Bang! What occurs then? The reply is: nothing does. Extra of this does: a sluggish, stunning collapse and descent. As a result of there’s no different possibility, selection, various. No one a lot has the cash for one. You see, if I say to the common American — “let’s repair America. All it’s a must to do is pay ten % extra in taxes, and also you’ll have world-class healthcare, retirement, childcare, and so forth” — they could even assist it, whole-heartedly. They could genuinely need it.

However the financial reality is that they can not afford it. That ten % is now essential earnings. That’s what “the common American dies in debt” tells us. The typical particular person can’t hand over that ten %. She or he wants it — often desperately — to repay easy on a regular basis payments. They don’t have any actual financial savings to talk of. So the place is the cash to fund this glorious new social contract going to come back from? The bitter reality is that this: People at the moment are too poor to afford a greater social contract. Even when People assist a Canadian or European model social contract, the onerous financial reality is which might be most likely now too poor to ever have one. People at the moment are so poor they will barely afford to assist themselves and their very own —80% stay on the edge — so how can they afford to assist anybody else, not to mention everybody else?

That’s not just a few idle opinion. You possibly can see stark proof of those deadly economics already doing their work. People simply rejected their greatest probability at reform in generations, Bernie and Liz Warren. That was on the left — the 70% or who say they need first rate healthcare, retirement, training, and so forth. Solely they by no means, ever vote for it, when it comes right down to it. Why? Elevating the spectre of upper taxes to fund a functioning society is one thing that merely can’t be borne by even those that need. No one can afford it now. Even People who say they need a greater society don’t appear ready — predictably, persistently — to observe by now. There’s a cause for that, and it’s that America is just too poor as a rustic to afford to be a functioning society anymore.

Even when, as Bernie promised, taxes wouldn’t rise — People don’t appear to consider it. Why not? It’s not simply they don’t — with good cause — mistrust their authorities. It’s additionally that they will’t bear any extra uncertainty. When your complete life and future appears to be going up in smoke, whenever you bear all the chance in society — the very last thing you may take is much more. So whereas Bernie and Liz may need championed a functioning society on the similar tax fee, the chance of taking having to pay for a functioning society is solely now an excessive amount of for People who already stay on the edge. What if taxes do find yourself rising by 5 %? Once you’re already perpetually struggling? Bang! Then it’s recreation over. People can’t afford to bear the dangers or prices of basic reforms to a damaged society, and that seals in collapse as the one trajectory left to observe.

On the precise, by the best way, individuals are so confused and bewildered that, just like the protesters above, they’re keen to surrender their lives to maintain their livelihoods. That’s how determined issues have gotten. See the purpose: on the left, folks would possibly desire a functioning society, however by no means, ever vote for it, as a result of no one can afford it, whereas the precise has given up on it altogether, hoping just for the prospect to be exploited, simply as long as meals can nonetheless be placed on the desk. That leaves…no one a lot…in society…who each needs a functioning nation, and may afford to pay for it.

Certain, it’s true that firms and the tremendous wealthy may be taxed. And they need to be, closely. However that’s not sufficient. There’s a cause that Europe and Canada ask folks to pay greater taxes to assist a greater social contract, and that cause is that’s the solely method such a contract is sustainable. You possibly can’t get there from a one-off tax on firms and the wealthy alone.

It’s additionally true that if America had been to construct a greater social contract — with say good healthcare and retirement and so forth — everybody’s payments would decline over time. However that doesn’t resolve the issue, which is that People can’t afford the prices within the first place. Certain, if American had public healthcare, folks wouldn’t should pay $10Okay per particular person per yr for it. However they do — and it’s not as if somebody’s magically going to lift their incomes by that a lot in the event that they don’t. Do you suppose company America’s going to present anybody a increase simply because it’s paying much less in healthcare prices? That’s why all of the plans for overhauling America’s damaged public healthcare system contain, nonetheless, employers paying into some type of fund — no one needs to present folks extra money. However with out giving folks extra money, People keep too poor to stay in something however…the collapsing society America’s develop into.

If that doesn’t make sense, simply give it some thought in your individual life. May you actually afford to lose 10% of your earnings proper about now? Ever? Extra probably, like most People, your life is balanced proper on the razor’s edge. A couple of % both method, and — kaput!! — you lose most or every part you might have. There goes the mortgage, college, the credit score ratin, and so forth. The plainer financial translation of that’s: you’re too poor to afford a functioning society. You possibly can barely assist your individual — how will you assist anybody, everybody, else?

So how was America left too poor to afford something however collapse? In Europe and Canada, there’s a sure type of equity that got here to prevail. Individuals pay about half their incomes in taxes. Half for me, half for everybody else. However that additionally implies that society’s surplus is distributed way more equitably within the first place. That half you pay in taxes goes on to make use of medical doctors, nurses, professors, public servants of all types that merely don’t exist in America. It’s used to spend money on hospitals, colleges, universities, parks, libraries — each single yr. That’s been taking place for one thing like 50 years by now: a cycle of equitable redistribution that turned sustained funding and reinvestment. What occurs if you happen to spend money on a factor like a park, hospital, library for 50 years? It will get higher and higher. Its returns develop and develop. There’s extra of every part to go round for everybody. The battle for self-preservation doesn’t lock folks into poverty, because it has in America. That’s what it means to be a very wealthy society.

America’s been doing precisely the other, for a similar fifty years, and longer. See any reinvestment in…something? Every part’s decrepit, from airports to varsities to libraries, exactly as a result of there hasn’t been any. There hasn’t been any — or sufficient, in any case — as a result of People didn’t need to pay these greater taxes Europeans and Canadians did. They believed the unusual, silly, and evidence-free ideologies of trickle-down economics and neoliberalism and all the remainder of it — we’ll all be richest if we spend money on…exactly nothing collectively. No one ought to care about anybody else. No one ought to ever assist anybody else within the pursuit of something. Life was to be purely individualistic, adversarial, and acquisitive.

That led People straight right into a poverty lure. They had been paying decrease taxes, positive. However their public items had been decaying. Their frequent wealth was eroding. Their techniques and establishments had been corroding. What occurs to steel that isn’t polished, a road that’s by no means cleaned, a home that’s by no means repaired? Effectively, in the long run, it’s a must to pay an even bigger invoice. However you may not be capable to afford it by then. Bang! You then’re executed. You reside in that crumbling home till it lastly turns to mud, if you happen to can’t pay the roofer, plumber, electrician. That’s the place America is now.

Are you aware what a poverty lure is? When a poor particular person spends greater than wealthy folks simply to have the fundamentals — consider a poor particular person spending most of their earnings on low-quality meals, transportation, drugs, and so forth, as a result of it’s all they will get. That’s the place America is now, from a worldwide perspective. In a traditional poverty lure. Too poor to ever afford to be wealthy once more, as a result of it doesn’t have the cash to spend money on it’s personal self-improvement or betterment now. A long time of underinvestment imply that there was much less and fewer to go round — till American life turned a brutal each day battle for self-preservation. However when all you are able to do is barely even wrestle to protect your self, put meals on the desk, maintain your loved ones afloat — what do you might have left to present again to a greater society? Nothing, is the grim reply, and it’s borne out by America’s spectacularly low — unfavourable — financial savings fee, aka, everybody however the mega-rich dies in debt.

To attain European or Canadian dwelling requirements, how a lot would America have to take a position now? Consider it: gleaming hospitals for everybody, thriving public squares, expansive childcare, good retirement, jobs that pay the payments, oversight of all of it. It might take trillions. Most likely dozens of trillions. A lot, far more than common People all put collectively can afford to spend now. These are the brutal economics of collapse. Societies who let themselves develop into poor can hardly then wave a magic need and develop into wealthy.

What it means to be a poor society, which is what America has develop into, can be the expertise of life in it by now: political chaos, financial wreck, emotional paralysis, cultural degeneration. Europe and Canada, once more, have been investing in life for many years, whereas America’s been ignoring it. The result’s that they’re forward now — and America most likely can’t ever catch up. America let itself develop into a poor society, and this — the chaos and dislocation of now — is what it means to be one.

I do know that is grim studying. It’s horrible and horrific. Is it “unfavourable,” although? Effectively, I do know that it comes throughout that method. I need to do a job that the everyday pundit received’t, although, which is attempt to inform you easy truths. The one which economics tells me is that this.

It’s too late for America to get better. It left it too lengthy. It was conceited and immodest, paying for issues it didn’t want, like wars and mega-mansions, however not these it did. So it didn’t make investments when it ought to have, however now the invoice is due, however no one will pay it. What do you name a society like that? Bankrupt. Identical to most People are, solely they don’t comprehend it. What do you name an entire society of individuals, in any case, who die in debt?America’s broke, my mates. And whenever you’re broke, what do you might have left to spend money on your self?

There’s a technique out, by the best way, if you happen to’ve adopted me carefully. Give folks cash. No strings connected, no questions requested, now, on a large-scale, roughly completely, neglect how a lot must be borrowed to make it occur. So folks can fund a working society once more. Or else. That’s the large query for America. The remaining is noise. Till one thing alongside these traces begins to take form — my reply is easy: People made themselves too poor to now afford to have the luxurious of a functioning, civilised, trendy society. Or is all {that a} necessity?

*Umair first printed this in Medium

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com.ng/opinion/i-am-not-unfavourable-america-actually-is-screwed/

[fullspectrum-cbd-oil]

Prince Harry seeks ‘more peaceful life’ as reluctantly ends royal role

Britain’s Prince Harry has spoken of his sadness at being forced to give up his royal duties in a deal with Queen Elizabeth and senior Windsors, saying there was no other option if he and his wife Meghan were to seek an independent future.

Buckingham Palace and the queen announced on Saturday that Harry and Meghan would no longer be working members of Britain’s monarchy, no longer use their “Royal Highness” titles and would now pay their own way in life, freeing them to forge what they call a “progressive new role”.

The new arrangement was struck to end a crisis the couple sparked by announcing earlier this month they wanted to cut down on official engagements and spend more time in Canada and the United States, while remaining active royals.

In a speech to the Sentebale charity on Sunday, a clearly upset Harry said the final outcome was not what he and his American wife, a former actress, had wanted.

“Our hope was to continue serving the queen, the Commonwealth and my military associations without public funding. Sadly that wasn’t possible,” the prince, the sixth-in-line to the throne, said.

“I’ve accepted this knowing it doesn’t change who I am, or how committed I am. But I hope that helps you understand what it had come to, that I would step back from all I have ever known to take a step forward into what I hope can be a more peaceful life.”

Under the arrangement, Harry will remain a prince and the couple will keep their titles of Duke and Duchess of Sussex as they begin a new life split between Britain and North America, where they will spend the majority of their time. But they will not take part in any future ceremonial events or royal tours.

Royal commentators said it amounted to an “abdication” from the “firm” – as the royals are known – and showed that, beneath the warm words in which she said Harry and Meghan were much loved, the queen had taken a decisive line by insisting on a clean break.

“NO OPTION”

“It brings me great sadness that it has come to this,” said Harry. He said the decision to step back had followed months of talks and had not been a decision he had come to lightly. They were not walking away, he explained.

“As far as this goes, there really was no other option.”

He told the audience at the charity he co-founded to help children with HIV in Africa that he wanted them to hear the truth from him “not as a prince, or a duke, but as Harry, the same person that many of you have watched grow up over the last 35 years but with a clearer perspective”.

“The UK is my home and a place that I love. That will never change,” he said.

The couple’s plans for independence, announced after a long break over the Christmas period in Canada, caught the rest of the royal family by surprise and left the queen and other senior members hurt and disappointed, according to royal sources.

However, in a TV interview aired in October, both had made it clear how they were struggling with the immense media attention. The couple had also started legal action against a newspaper for printing a letter she sent to her estranged father, Thomas Markle.

Harry said he felt his wife had faced “bullying” from some tabloids similar to that faced by his mother Princess Diana who died in a car crash while trying to escape paparazzi photographers.

“When I lost my mum 23 years ago, you took me under your wing. You’ve looked out for me for so long but the media is a powerful force and my hope is one day our collective support for each other can be more powerful because this is so much bigger than just us,” he said.

Buckingham Palace has said the couple would no longer receive public money and that they would repay the cost of refurbishing their cottage in Windsor, which official figures show amounted to 2.4 million pounds ($3.1 million).

But certain details, such as their future security arrangements or whether the couple could continue to use the “Sussex Royal” title for their website and branding, have either not been finalized or publicly revealed.

Meghan is currently in Canada with their baby son Archie and Harry is expected to join her soon.

The royal crisis, which has dominated the British news agenda for almost two weeks, overshadowing Brexit and tensions over Iran, exposed a deep rift among the Windsors and poses questions about its role in the modern world.

The Sun newspaper said Harry and his elder brother William, with whom he acknowledged he had fallen out, had ended their feud but he remained at loggerheads with his father Prince Charles, the heir-to-the-throne.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson said he believed the whole of Britain would want to wish the couple the very best.

However, Meghan’s father was less generous, accusing them of damaging the monarchy.

“They are destroying it, they are cheapening it, they’re making it shabby,” Markle told Britain’s Channel 5.

(Reporting by Michael Holden; Editing by Guy Faulconbridge and Alison Williams)

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How much will insurance be for a 19yr old with a 93 toyota tercel in NYC?

"How much will insurance be for a 19yr old with a 93 toyota tercel in NYC?

Im 19yrs old and i have my own job, im very responisble and independent. Im saving up for a 93 toyota tercel or honda civic, which will be in the 2000-3000 dollar range. The only problem is finding insurance that I can pay on my own. Unfortunately my mother will not put me on her insurance,so im looking for inexpensive auto insurers in which I can afford about 200-250 a month. Im not looking for full coverage,just whats whatever's needed in the state of new york. Im a very responsible young man and not at all into being reckless or showing off to people. I just want a chance to have my first safe and reliable car. Thank you

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I only need insurance on my bike for like a week and progressive only gives me the option to either pay the full 12 month cost ($255) up front now OR 2 payments a year which is $135 up front right now. Im not paying $135 when im only going to be riding it for a week...?

""Buying used car, no insurance, 18 yr old 2 year driver?""

I just need to know the process before buying a used car, i found a good deal on a car, and it's an 80 mile drive to san diego. I have a nevada license which i'll be changing to a ca license by tomorrow and I'll be getting a temporary license until they mail me the card. What is the process of buying a used car. title and all of those things. Because i'll be driving back with no insurance, and i can't get one until i bring it back to my side of town. Can i get a temp one? or i can use the one that is with the car? do i have to do this process at dmv in san deigo? complicated process""

What exactly is auto insurance?

i just got my first driver's license and I am eagerly awaiting my new car. however, i hear that i have to insure my car and register it and have registration papers. exactly what does this mean for me? will i not be able to get my car? what exactly is this insurance - is it a monthly bill, one-time payment?""

Any tips on how to avoid paying full coverage insurance on a motorcycle while financing it?

My friend has been financing a motorcycle and he just did his policy online and put down that he owned the motorcycle..and only put liability on it.. Is this a good way to get around the system?

Insurance Quotes With AAA ?

I requoted myself online with AAA, I've been with them for 9-10 years or so. And by filling out the same information with same coverages, I will save much more. Will AAA give me that new rate or am I stuck with my same rate. I hate calling customer service..""

Would a grand prix GTP be unusualy expensive to insure?

the grand prix GTP is a 240 horse supercharged v6 with 280ftlbs of torque. how much would it cost to insure (like a lot, a little, average, that kind of thing; i know you would get mad if i tried to ask for a number)? what about the same question with a grand an GT (175 horse V6) and a grand am se1(170 horse V6) ok, as a seperate question, what if i told you i was a new driver, as i cant say the age on here... >:( that gets good grades and has no claims or anything... im guessing tens of thousands per month lol... Thanks!""

How much can i spend on a car with the money i make?

im 17 years old and i have a job that pays $8.30 an hour and i work about 16 hrs per week, and i also tutor afterschool, for $20 dollars an hour, for 6 hours, so i make about $240 a week, and im planning to get a car, but i dont know what car i could afford. how much money can i spend in a car if i have monthly car payments?, oh yea plus insurance. thanks""

How do you get long-term heath care insurance in Georgia? And how you pick the best one for you?

My grandma might need to go into an assisted living home soon? My family are thinking about a Sunrise Community and they take long term health care insurance? How do you obtain and pick the right type and does Medicare cover it? thanks

What is Insurance sales like?

Since I put my resume on sites like Careerbuilder and Monster I have gotten a lot of emails about insurance sales.I have been reluctant to reply to them because I am fairly young and always heard about insurance sales being boring and miserable. So I would just like to know what being an agent is like? Can you make a decent living? Is it interesting? Is it boring? What do you or a friend enjoy about it? What do you dislike about it?

How much impact will a claim of $1400 have on my Insurance rates?

I have a deductible of $500 so the actual payout would only be $900. But someone told me that the amount doesn't matter. Its the number of claims. So in that case would 1 claim matter? I have asked the same question to my Insurance company and they are non comittal. Anyone with similiar situation, please advise..""

Car Insurance Groups?

What Insurance Group would a Ford KA (02 Reg) Collection be? And also what Group would a Ford StreetKA be?

How much insurance is on a 2002 mustang gt on a 55 year old male?

How much insurance is on a 2002 mustang gt on a 55 year old male?

Is having a health insurance mandatory in California?

I am moving from Massachusetts to California at the end of this month. In Massachusetts its mandatory to have health insurance and if you don't have it you can get penalized on your taxes. Is it mandatory in California as well?

Would it be cheaper to insure a VW Golf for an 18 year old as a name driver on my parents insurance ?

I hear that a VW Golf is really expensive to insure for an 18 year old. Would it be cheaper if the car was insured for my parents and I was a name driver on that insurance ?

Will a claim for a broken passenger side window increase my car insurance premium?

A rock thrown from a lawn mower shattered the side window in my car yesterday. Will my car insurance premium rates go up if I file a claim?

Car Insurance for a 19 yr old male?

I'm going to be buying an black 03 Cadillac CTS and I was wondering about how much my insurance would be. I've been driving since I was 16 with no tickets or wrecks. Can anyone give me at least an estimate on what it might cost? I will be using it mostly to drive back and fourth to work.

Health insurance for kids 18 and older?

Hello. Im searching for health insurance for my daughter who will be 18 in about a year and half. We are both from California. Does anyone know of any coverage that can help that dont cost an arm and a leg...I dont have much money, and my insurance will only will cover her till shes 18. I just dont want her to be with out medical help when her 18 bday comes. Thanks for your help and please be nice.""

Has anyone else's car insurance increased this year for no apparent reason (UK)?

Our insurance renewal came through this week and it has increased by 400 to 1,450 for third party cover even though nothing has changed! We went on all the comparison websites and they were all quoting a lot higher too - one quoted us 3,500!! We've actually managed to get it down to 1,300 fully comp with Tesco (Third party quote was higher for some reason?) but I still find this to be a lot considering we are both 24 and my partner has 4 years no claims and has been driving for 5 years and I have been driving for 3 years. Has anyone else found that their insurance has increased this year?""

Is it possible to get affordable life insurance and dental insurance if i am not employed?

.........and if so, roughly how much money would this cost per month?""

Would I need insurance?

Ok so I'm thinking about getting an iPhone 4s. I want one so badly. It's 29 a month but insurance is 10 a month and I can't afford to pay another 10 a month, would I need insurance? The handset price (how much you pay on the day for the actual phone) is 29, so if I break or loose or someone steals the phone, would I pay 29 and get another headset, or will they make me pay 29 for a phone I don't even have? I live in England btw :)""

How much will insurance be for a 19yr old with a 93 toyota tercel in NYC?

Im 19yrs old and i have my own job, im very responisble and independent. Im saving up for a 93 toyota tercel or honda civic, which will be in the 2000-3000 dollar range. The only problem is finding insurance that I can pay on my own. Unfortunately my mother will not put me on her insurance,so im looking for inexpensive auto insurers in which I can afford about 200-250 a month. Im not looking for full coverage,just whats whatever's needed in the state of new york. Im a very responsible young man and not at all into being reckless or showing off to people. I just want a chance to have my first safe and reliable car. Thank you

Names of Cheap insurance companies in ireland that insure motorbikes??

Just bought a new moterbike and am being quoted mad prices,its only a 125,it shouldn't be much more than 1000,but im being quoted 1600 by quinn direct? anybody know where i could get it cheaper??""

Insurance and a car that is being stored in a garage?

I'll have my full license next March and I was thinking of if I found a car (before then) and bought it, registered it and certified it but didn't use it until March (store it in a rented garage). If I did this, could I not pay insurance until I take it onto the road (I've read I can have it SORN )? Also, if I did get insurance for it (should anything happen to it while it's in storage) would I pay less than what I would if it were on the road and if so, how much of a difference would that be?""

How much will buying a 2005 Mistubishi Lancer Evolution 8 raise my insurance premium?

I'm looking into buying a new car and I'm a bit of a motor head and like to race. The Evo 8 is my next choice, but I can't find out how much it will raise my premium. Anyone know? If it helps, my insurance provider is Allstate.""

Why is it that the Republicans Party Sucks up so much to the Insurance Companies?

???

Which car is cheaper on the insurance part and on the second hand car dealler?

i will be turning 17 soon i am i boy and living in somerset in the uk so im looking 4 a car but i want 2 no which car would be cheaper on the insurance and on the second hand dealership Citreon Saxo 1.1 desire 3dr/5dr Vauxhall Corsa 1.0/1.2 club 3dr/5dr Peogeot 106 1.1 zest 3dr any other car which would be cheap tell me thank you

Does anyone use or heard of Response.com for auto insurance?

Response.com seems to have the least expensive insurance rates at plans that are what I currently have. Going with them would save a lot of money but I've never heard of them personally.

How much will insurance cost for a 16 year old?

im 16 years old and i wanna get a 1965 mustang and im wondering how much insurance would cost even if under my parent's plan

What is insurance likely to run me on these bikes?

I am 20 years old, have about a year of car insurance so far but the car is messed up and I plan to get a motorcycle (hopefully). I have taken the MSF course and passed. I have not had any tickets or accidents either, clean as a whistle. I am looking into a small bike like the 250 ninja, vulcan 500, or the V-star 650. About how much should I expect to pay?""

""When you get married, how do you get off of your parent's insurance, etc?""

My dad still has me declared as a dependant, and my car insurance and health insurance is on his. When I get married will these automatically change, or do I have to notify the insurance companies and tax people?""

Where can I find really cheap car insurance?

poor working girl in cali seeking really inexpensive car insurance

Do I have to include my husband on my auto insurance policy?

Without him on it, my monthly bill would only be $44. With him on it, it's $135. Do I legally have to include him on the policy?""

Car insurance in someone else's name?

i own a car that I dont drive often. My car insurance is sky high and I'm thinking of not even having an insurance policy anymore. I'm wondering if it's unheard of to put the car in just my husbands name and drive the car when i need it? I have a license. I realize that there could be an issue if there was a car accident.

""Premium financed insurance, any risks?

What scenarios can bank repo the collaterals in premium financed insurance? It seems too good to be true.

Car Insurance for a Month?

I am going to be at law school and only need car insurance from Mid December until Mid January. Is there a special type of insurance I can get so I don't have to pay year round? The cars will still be covered by my parents the rest of the year.

Transferring van insurance to car?

can u transfer van insurance to a car in republic of ireland

New teen driver insurance?

I just got my license about 2 hours ago. something just came up and I really need to drive somewhere. My parents have Statefarm insurance, but obviously haven't added me yet. Does statefarm have any type of temporary coverage? Can I leave now or do I have to wait until my parents can add me?""

Mercury insurance teen driver rates?

hi i am 16 and i just got my permit. i was wondering, do u need insurence when driving with a permit? also how much are mercury insurance teen driver rates (estimate $$) because thts what my mom has as insurace. please if anybody has any idea what the rates are or if there are specials for teenagers? thank you :] sarah""

Affordable Dental Insurance?

I am looking to get individual Dental Insurance (PPO) for myself. I have to get some major work done 4 root canals and 1 extraction ASAP! Can anyone recommend a good affordable insurance??

HELP! Car & Insurance for 17 year old.?

Hi, I'm 17 in a week & will be starting my driving lessons. I have my theory booked for a few days after & aim to pass in around 6 weeks, depending on the waiting list for the test, having 3-4 lessons a week. Driving a car isn't a problem for me, have had plenty of practise on tracks in my dads weapon ;) & have for the last 8 weeks or so been going to an empty industrial estate one or twice a week, driving my mums cooper S or occasionally my uncles M3. Just need practice with the ways of public roads from my instructor. Anyway, as you can probably tell I've had a fair bit of experience driving fairly fast cars, so thats where i need advice - can anybody suggest any fairly fast cars that are reasonable to insure? or any cheap insurance company's, or any ways to get insurance down, as long as they aren't completely ridiculous lies, I want to keep it as legit as possibly ideally. So far I've been quoted 1600-ish on a standard golf on my mums insurance, but ideally want something a bit quicker then that. My budget for a car + insurance overall is 4-5k. My ideal car would be a GTI, anybody know where i can insure one cheap-ish? ALSO, *PLEEEEASE* no do-gooder's telling me it is 'fronting' to go on my mums insurance, I am well aware of this, however I am also aware that if the car is registered in my mums name with the DVLA, then they don't have a leg to stand on. I have checked this with one of my mums friends, a solicitor. Also, nobody telling me that I 'wouldn't be able to handle the power' or that I'd 'kill myself', believe me, I'd smoke you ;). Sorry its a bit long, please help! :-)""

Raising money for individuals with health condition?

I'm just curious about why people ask for donation and fund raising for people with health condition here in Canada. Health care is free that will cover most of the medical ...show more

How much does car insurance usually cost?

I'm 19 now. When I wanna get my own car when i'm 20. I never had a car before. but my dad says he won't let me drive away his car without him sitting next to me. I hate that, so I want to buy a second hand car n I can be free to go anywhere, and hide it at my friend's place so my dad won't know it. so I guess I need to purchase somekind of insureance by myself, I don't want to be covered under my dad's insurance since I dont want him to know at all. any information or opinion will be helpful thx!!""

Car insurance too expensive. Help. Urgent?

So basically. Im an 18 year old male. I passed my driving test in june 2013. My car insurance is too high. Now normally i wouldnt care but the reason i am asking this question is because. Where i live the nearest shop is 30 mins away walking. My family need someone to do the shopping as we cannot keep going back and forth everyday. We basically starve some days as sufficient food is too heavy to carry. My father is very sick and has been for 2 years. Because the hospital is so far away he barely is able to go to his appointments. And finally i use the train to get to my university which im fine with but i get bullied everyday physically on the train. I am too scared to report this to anyone. Now im not someone who would mess about in my car or speed etc. I am a very safe driver. My cheapest quote was on a Daewoo Matiz and the quote was 6000!! So i cleary cannot afford that. I have looked into the black box scheme but most insurers wont provide that service in my area. So my question is does anyone know of any insurance companies who do specialise in giving cheaper quotes. Or any cars that tend to be cheaper to insure. Or even any tricks that may help bring down the price. Please dont answer with stuff like you dont need a car or get a black box. I am litterally fed up and feel like a failure. I dont know what to do. I even slit my wrists now as it is toi much to bare. Also i cant go one anyones insurance as i dont have anyone to ask and my dad cant drive due to his illnes

Which car insurances?

OK 21 years old and looking for a car insurance that cheapest in Washington state, and I am thinking between these three, progressive state farm and Geico, which one is the cheapest of these and tell me the cheapest auto insurance any body know for my age and I am a male thank you""

Which is the best Life Insurance for a 33 year old?

I have family of 1 child

Insurance cost for brother with 3 points on his license age 20?

he got 3 points age 14, TWOC, now wants a car, how much do you think insurance will cost?""

How much will insurance be for a 19yr old with a 93 toyota tercel in NYC?

Im 19yrs old and i have my own job, im very responisble and independent. Im saving up for a 93 toyota tercel or honda civic, which will be in the 2000-3000 dollar range. The only problem is finding insurance that I can pay on my own. Unfortunately my mother will not put me on her insurance,so im looking for inexpensive auto insurers in which I can afford about 200-250 a month. Im not looking for full coverage,just whats whatever's needed in the state of new york. Im a very responsible young man and not at all into being reckless or showing off to people. I just want a chance to have my first safe and reliable car. Thank you

Tenant insurance help?

I am looking for any good low cost tenant insurance any sugestions I have heared of SoHo insurance but have heared a couple bad things about it your input would be very welcome Thank you in advance I live in soulthern Ontario

About how much is insurance gonna cost for a 15 year old who just got his license?

how much will insurance be if im a 15 yeaar old guy who just got his license and im driving a 1995 acura integra, can anyone give me an estimate on how much it will be a month""

Is group health insurance what college insurance plans use?

Is group health insurance they type of insurance that college insurance plans use? I am filling out a form for CHP+ and it asked if I have group insurance available... I attend school that provides an insurance, but I can't afford that insurance.""

Need a car-but how much is the insurance?

I'm 25, female and haven't even got a provisional, never had a lesson, live in salford want a car, could only afford one for 600 pound second hand, does anyone have any idea how much my insurance would be about ?""

""In California...If i drive an insured car, do i need my own personel insurance?""

In California...If i drive an insured car, do i need my own personel insurance?""

Im a 20 year old male and im thinking about getting my first motorcycle. I need suggestions.?

Like i said im a 20 year old student looking into getting a bike. Most of my friends have them and they tell me how much they enjoy riding so i'd like to take up the hobby and ...show more

Where to find a reliable and cheap insurance for my 2008 car?

I'm frustrated with my previous insurance company, it's expensive and unreliable which means most of the time they dont pay my claims. :'(""

Home owner's insurance in California?

I'd like to know whether home owner's insurance is the law in California? Or, if one chooses, can one not have it, if they don't want it?""

How much do teens have to pay for car insurance monthly?

I'm 17 and my mom has esurance. I have a job now and so now I'm allowed to get my license. They won't give us a quote until I actually have my license but I live in Littleton, CO 80123 and I'll be driving a 1997 Subaru Legacy""

Where can a marijuana smoker get affordable life assurance?

it depends on if your a heavy smoker or just smoke a few times. if they ask for health records then you will be in a higher quote, but also when they ask you question on health and you answer honestly it will help you in the long run because then you will be covered for the need of that disability since your health assurance new you can since you are a smoker. but it depends on if your a heavy smoker or just smoke a few times.""

What is a good dental insurance company?

I am 21 years old and I am currently on my parents health and dental insurance plans. However, I get dropped off of the dental plan when I turn 22 and my birthday is just a month away so basically I am looking for a stand alone dental plan that is affordable. I have looked around but to be honest I don't really have a clue on what I am looking for, what is good, or what is bad. I am not sure if it helps or not but I am looking for something that will help pay for Invisalign, doesn't have to be a lot just something to help with the payments. Any help or information will be greatly appreciated!""

I got a speeding ticket in Toronto but did not receive demerit points. Will my insurance rates go up? I am 21.?

I got a speeding ticket in Toronto in the jurisdiction of 4863 2 days ago. I did not receive demerit points as I was only 15 km/h above the limit. Will my insurance rates go up if I plead guilty and pay the fine? I am 21 years old and my parents are currently with Wawanesa. I have a G lisence.

How much would insurance be on this car for a 17 year old?

Photo: http://i.imgur.com/oBPkdUi.jpg

What does liability mean when getting auto insurance?

What does liability mean when getting auto insurance?

State funded autk insurance for low income?

just wondering if there is a texas program for low income disabled people to get auto insurance coverage

Moving in 1.5 months and getting a car - Should i buy before or after for car insurance?

I'm planning to buy a car but I'm moving to a new place in 1.5-2 months. Question is, should I buy the car while i'm still at my current address, or wait til I move to the ...show more""

What's an good place to get auto insurance?

What's an good place to get auto insurance?

How much is it for car insurance for average teenager?

How much is it for car insurance for average teenager?

Who should a check out for a decent Motorcycle insurance quote?

I have called around. And I k ow they are expensive to insure, but I have got some ridiculous quotes so far for my 08' hayabusa. Anyone have any ideas?""

What are the factors affect auto insurance Costs?

Auto insurance discount can greatly reduce your auto insurance costs.

Car insurance for 17 year olds - UK?

Im about to turn 17 and wanted to start driving, how much would car insurance be for a Ford Ka? Are there any cheaper companies to go to and any ways of bringing down the price like installing trackers etc. Would it be much cheaper to be put onto parents insurance, even if they are really bad drivers!?""

""Auto insurance just cancel, will they renew it?""

Just had auto cancelled at midnight, they arent open til monday morning. Can I pay the premium first thing that am and have it reinstated. I tried paying by phone and web but wont allow me to! Tomorrow is sunday and no one available.""

I'm on my moms car insurance and I'm getting older?

I'm really trying to get myself on my own two feet and we have everything together, phone bill (sprint) , car insurance she receives my bank statements monitors my purchases, views and manages my credit ...everything I'm just trying to move and not be under my moms wing... How can I go about moving my car insurance, and /or picking car insurance.... Help?""

Does full coverage motorcycle insurance cover other riders on my bike if they have an accident?

Does full coverage motorcycle insurance cover other riders on my bike if they have an accident?

Rough 125cc insurance?

hi, im just considering buying a 125cc bike, not sure on the make or anything yet, still looking. Im 18, can anybody tell me a ROUGH insurance cost? i know theres lots of things to be taken into account, but im just after a rough price. cheers :)""

How much will insurance be for a 19yr old with a 93 toyota tercel in NYC?

Im 19yrs old and i have my own job, im very responisble and independent. Im saving up for a 93 toyota tercel or honda civic, which will be in the 2000-3000 dollar range. The only problem is finding insurance that I can pay on my own. Unfortunately my mother will not put me on her insurance,so im looking for inexpensive auto insurers in which I can afford about 200-250 a month. Im not looking for full coverage,just whats whatever's needed in the state of new york. Im a very responsible young man and not at all into being reckless or showing off to people. I just want a chance to have my first safe and reliable car. Thank you

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