#No Space For That Nonsense Here
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Getting that ‘stalked by an anti’ feeling...
Uno Reverso Block-o, here we go.
#I'm Not Loudly Pro Barcode#But I Am?#Kid's Doing Great; Not Problematic#You Editing His Face On The Internet? Problematic#Loudly Claiming Jeff And Amanda Are Marred? Also Problematic#Please Stay Away From Me#If You Imitate A Celebrity To Take Advantage Of Fans: You Are Problematic#I'm Not Talking RP For Fun#I'm Talking Editing His Official Press Statements In Your Delusion Posting#I'm Talking Crappy Photoshop And I'm (Celeb) and I'm Married to (Celeb) Posting#No Space For That Nonsense Here#Toni Talks In Tags
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A while ago, I posted a petition, to stop the closing of a much loved museum, Syndeys Powerhouse museum, a place that's been under threat for years.
I need your help with this once again, (especially if you are an Aussie)
After years of threatening to close down and demolish our only science, tech and applied arts museum, and one attempt to turn it into an events center, they've come back with another plan, which basically amounts to "we're going to clear out the museum and demolish most of the structures inside. We definitely have a plan to put some cool stuff back, but we can't tell you it, but it's definitely gonna be great. Don't mind that a bunch of purpose built structures to display delicate objects are set to be demolished."
(That's an F1 Apollo rocket engine, very rare outside the USA. Almost 60 years old, now delicate, but it's going.)
"We've garunteed 3 of the most iconic items (not their accompanying collections) will come back. Pay no mind that we haven't allowed for where they're gonna go, or that the one object we can't move (rare, 250 year old working Boulton and Watts steam engine) is set to end up inside a corridor)
(There used to be room, elevated planforms even)
"Oh, also, you know that museum storage hall, so close by and practical, with a loading dock and workshops, that's also sitting on prime real estate? We're building a second loading dock and workshops in the main museum! Right where the all classrooms where!"
It's supposedly a heritage restoration, but in truth, it's based of a skewed heritage report which has been heavily criticised as I'll informed, and rigged to allow the place's removal.
Almost every detail goes against the spirit of the original musuem. The orginal museum was a fun, post modern place with a sciencey vibe,
Which transitioned fluidly into historic halls, with historic products and technology to match
The Musuem has an upper entrance designed to be welcoming, full of natural light, and evoke the feel of an old grand train station. This is to be bricked up.
Rather than restore the older galleries, theyre taking several of them out reducing display space from about 15,000m²ish to about 6000m² ish.
The historic halls included restored generator room filler with steam engines. This really put the museum on the map.
But that's going.
All that is going, in favour of
This kind of thing.
The plan to do this is on display untill end of may May 30th, Aussie time. It would help a lot if you (might be only Australians) log on and make a short comment opposing the project:
A lot more commentary on the project can be found at:
@protecpowerhous on Twitter
Or if you cant make a submission, and still haven't, please sign that petition:
The people reporting to government planning will be see it, and attention helps.
#again i will not be mass reposting this here. once or twice. i make this a rule because#there are so many important worthy causes in the world (this one is mine) of different scales#if i post other stuff on here this blog looses its purpose#and it is - and will remain - a special themed gimmic blog posting only the most rational and sensible things you could do as a Tumblr use#this is a no nonsense space with a perfect understanding of humans and what they like to do#oh also some propper tags#museums#Australia#syndey#powerhouse museum
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Tucker: "W-what?! No! I don't have a crush on Danny!"
Cleo: "Honey, denial isn't just a river named after my family."
This ask: Silly and Goofy
What I decided to make of it:
Relationship Angst
#danny phantom#my art#monster high#half normie au#cleo de nile#ghoulia yelps#tucker foley#savant par#not THE angstiest thing by far considering phandoms general nonsense#but like look Tucker is over here long since angsted and settled to just have feelings thst wont go anywhere#meanwhile danny is denser than a brick and will subsequently get a brick thru his lil glass closet when he figures it out#<3#ask#cyber space
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Why do we still have in 2024 stupid takes like Rhea created and enforces the crest system?
Bcs Rhea BaD anon.
More seriously,
FE Fodlan is one of one of the most divorced FE verses from its fantasy elements (see : Nabateans being as important as Ignatz's leather shoes) : Tellius has the Laguz existing, Archanea/Ylisse has manaketes hanging around and being a core point in FE Archanea, Elibe has its entire history involving dragons and the best ending finally be about acceptance between the two races, Magvel has zombies, Valentia has terrors and in SoV we have dragons and magic dragon blood, Fates has dragons (and laguz-like!) and even Jugdral have people with magic dragon blood.
(i ranted and ranted and ranted under the cut, so it's a bit long)
Unlike Fodlan, Jugdral's "people with magic dragon blood" are a key element to the story told at large, and it bleeds through the mechanics used to tell that story. FE4 wise, toddler!Seliph has a S rank in swords when Beowulf, even if he trains his entire life, will never achieve A rank in swords. Base!Julia with her holy weapon can smack Loptyr, when max!invested (at least lore wise) Forseti!Ced will never be able to kill him.
It's unfair for Beo and Ced, but that is how the verse works because, in that verse, some people are mc guffins or "the only ones" who are able to do something, or even, straight out, stronger/have more talent than others.
In traditional fantasy settings we have the "same" sort of rules, you have elves who do X and Y, humans won't can't, dwarves who can't either but they can do W, orc who can do J, etc etc.
Even for all of the "deconstruction of the genre!" gimmick ASOIAF has, according to some people, Dany is fire-proof and Jon most likely survives after being assassinated because he is a Stark and can use his doggo as a back up save, both things Edmure Tully will never be able to achieve.
Tolkien has Numenoreans being straight up blessed by the Valar/stronger/longer lived/etc etc than middle-earth humans, on top of also having elves, dwarves and ents.
Ergo : power inbalance is baked in the fantasy genre.
And yet, the writers often manage to tell some version of "the ones who have less power are no less important", like with Tolkien, it's a bunch of hobbits who manage to take down the greatest "evil" of their era, or some message like "having more power/being more important means you are bound to help the ones who have none" thingie.
In Fodlan, the "beings who have more power" than humans are the Nabateans (+ Sothis herself!). Sothis can create life, her daughter - through unknown means - can create artifical beings, one her children can control weather (the one who was turned in a milkshake for Charon!), one of them has monstruous strength (the one turned in a milkshake for Blaiddyd), one of them could communicate with animals (Timotheos iirc - if we assume he was a Nabatean or got his powers from his crest), her granddaughter can set up an AOE to heal what would otherwise be fatal wounds (it's heavily implied this is what Flayn did when she overused her power and went comatose) etc etc.
This is the original power inbalance in Fodlan.
Then some humans "stole" this power from Nabateans, and got a share of it themselves, which is what is later called "crest" : aka, some humans got a part of the super/magic powers that Nabateans originally had and thus, because, for all intents and purposes, "super-humans".
Now, Fodlan discourse started with FE16 being released in 2019, not that long after GoT's ending - which was trash - and in an era where fandom turned from "harmless fun" to "something that looks like activism and earns you point if you manage to use it to express your real life opinions".
In 2019, after Dumb and Dumber tanked GoT and removed most of ASOIAF fantasy parts to deliver "sex that sells" with a moldy plot, some part of the fandom started to conflate and harass people over what they like, and how it, apparently, reflected on their real life opinions ("if you hate this female character it means you hate women!"/"if you think X becoming king is a good ending, you don't value democracy!").
So, we have this fantasy setting with its inherent power inbalance... that quickly became something that is/was unacceptable, because IRL, power inbalance is based on bullshit and something everyone decries - so if your beloved media reflects on what you like IRL, you can't like a setting with an objective power inbalance, even if is justified by magic which doesn't exist irl like shooting eyebeams or some people being more "special than others" who can live up to 1500 years old.
Fodlan's power inbalance, for some parts of the fandom 2019, cannot be justified by traditional fantasy settings so, those settings/fantasy elements are straight out ignored.
Thus the "crests"' magic effects/powers are ignored, and dumbed down to, roughly, what a middle school student would think "nobility" is/was in the Middle Ages/Renaissance.
Jean-François Marie Pierre de Bourbon isn't inherently better at smashing things with a sword than Bob, or at healing than Roger, any "advantage" Jean-François Marie Pierre de Bourbon has over them is, maybe, that he started training earlier.
In Fodlan?
If Jean-François Marie Pierre de Charon has a major Charon crest, he can dance and clap in his hands to summon rain. Bob and Roger, no matter how hard they train, will never be able to do that. Jean-François Marie Pierre de Charon will thus be seen as having higher "value" or being straight up "better" than Bob or Roger, because as long as he is here, your crops will never suffer from drought.
But... we can't have that, because if you confuse fandom and real life opinions and aspirations, you cannot admit that some people in Fodlan are inherently "better" at something, only because of their blood, otherwise, what would it translate to IRL?
This is why, imo, part of the fandom (and the game sure doesn't help! Fodlan is no Jugdral and its gameplay lacks coherence regarding the in-game lore! Remember how Raphael can use a relic and only loses 10HP, when Miklan, plot wise, was turned in a demonic beast?) that loves this take, arguably, reduces crests to a title and family name.
Why should the Bourbon family rule over us, when they're no better than Roger or Bob? Isn't it unfair the Bourbons are still valued nowadays when the only thing to their fame is their name, and not what they are actually doing?
The game plays coy about crests - we know each of them has a specific power - but it never reveals what are those powers (lore wise!) save for 2 of them. So are crests superpowers, or just a family name with a particle, or both? Is the "system" (a friend made a post debunking any idea of "systemic" application of this notion in the three countries) based on bullshit, or on, objective superpowers?
Dimitri tries to tackle the issue, but only around relic usage : the Gautiers are valued if they have a crest because they can use their superweapon to protect the border. But what about valuing House Charon's ability to bring rain and guarantee good harvests? What is the other superpower tied to the crest of Gautier that isn't "use a femur and wreck havoc with it"?
If Marianne's ability to talk to animals is tied to her crest, why isn't it more developed? Instead of having useless shit like talking and befriending horses like a Disney princess, we could have Maurice-blooded people be masters of counter-intelligence, imagine if they can talk to birds/rodents and ask them to scout various areas or spy/ask them what they saw ! Hell, we could have had a situation where in a fog of war map, where Marianne, if, idk, through Billy fed enough animals in the monastery, would have a better field of vision than anyone else, with some blurb/one-line about her relying on the animals around to know and see what is going on! Alas, it wasn't meant to be.
FE16 eludes the question, because the character who "questions" a world centered around "crests" is the marketable asset of the game, and cannot be challenged in any meaningful capacity v- she feels it's unfair that her crest seemingly dictate her life, and only in the gacha game with ery serious writing like the Heavy Plate Corps or Sniddies, does she get a modicum of self-reflection - or at least someone challenging her - where she is told that she could use the superpowers she has to help people instead of blaming the world for getting one.
In a traditional FE setting, where some Lords question why they were born with power/or are in powerful positions, the answer is always that no matter what they were born with (or without in Leif's case!) what is more important is what they decide to do with that power. Elincia never wanted to become Queen? She will still fight and protect Crimea and its people. Marth is the last hope of Altea, even if it means leaving Elice behind. Seliph doesn't want to fight in Thracia anymore or feels like he's a fraud? He can turn tail and return home, while the world around him falls apart. Leif also feels like a fraud because he doesn't have superpowers like his cousin? Does that mean he should turn his thumbs and watch as his people are being caught/enslaved/sacrificed?
In Fodlan you have no reflection like this : Linhardt is, imo, the best example.
Dude hates blood and has a crest (aka magic powers) geared towards healing, you could make a case that for someone who has hematophobia, being a healer is difficult and this would be the reason why he refuses to heal/use his powers to help people around him... but no. Lin's laziness is played for laughs, and his refusal to do anything not related to his topic of interest is never questioned/analysed under the angle of, say, a head nurse who has no crest and laments that she couldn't save everyone who was hurt during an assault, who snaps at him for having the "gift" he has and not using it for the sake of people around him.
"What Lin decides to do with his power?" : Well, nothing.
Instead we have a reflection on his bright mind going to waste if he lazes all day long, culminating in his Supreme support where an Imperial facility is created specifically to cater to his tastes, that will enable him to research crests as much as he wants...
But still, nothing about his innate "healing" power!
In the end, it's no surprise that part of the fandom latched on that "crest = nobility title" because the Fodlan verse refuses to develop anything about its fantasy elements (hell, iirc Nopes swaps "crests" for "blood" and "titles" in its Supreme route ?).
"Sure, but where does Rhea fit in this nonsense?"
Rhea is, in this vision, the ultimate target !
For all of the "I ignore fantasy elements", Rhea is always (in FE16 at least!) turning into a dragon : no matter how hard you want to ignore fantasy, she's here to remind you tht, in this verse, dragons exist.
But most importantly, as Fodlan must be analysed through an IRL lens otherwise modern fandom cannot engage with it, Rhea, by virtue of being the lady in charge of a religious organisation called "Church", is also seen through a lens : Rhea BaD bcs Religion BaD and Catholic Church BaD.
FWIW, thanks to the five years of discourse we had, I learnt more about cultural values and differences existings between, here and the rest of the world - especially a place that is overepresented on fandom spaces - on organised religions especially the catholic church. Of course this bled on fandom takes and analysis, which projected some users' irl bias against the Catholic Church on the fandom organisation and entity that is the Church of Seiros. Combine this with secularism being now weaponised and used to ridicule people in spaces like r/atheism and you have a perfect recipe for "Religion BaD = Catholic Church BaD = fictional organised religion with a catholic flair BaD".
Granted, given how a certain loLcalisation team also originates from this place, it's no surprise that some "creative liberties" they took tried to hammer even more, let it be in the script or the fucking "what is this game about?" page on their website, how this fictional organisation is basically a squenix trope of "evil cult manipulating everything in the shadows and sekritly controlling the world".
Besides, the main heroine of the game (even if that comes with a twist!) opposes this faction (CoS and especially its leader!) and, by the way those games are built, as seen earlier, they cannot disavow her too much, else the entire gut-punch the devs were gunning for (you are betrayed by your beloved character! But unlike what happens in Baten Kaitos, you only are attached to her because she is your avatar's simp) will fall apart. So she must be, somehow, right and not motivated by more personal and heinous reasons, like not accepting "non-humans" to have powers over humans, or thinking the world is not a place for them (this was carefully scrubbed out in Nopes, btw!).
If Supreme Leader, who we are supposed to root for and whom the game ultimately rewards because "reforms" happen in the endings, says that the CoS is the reason why humans value superpowers, she must be right, or at least, not completely wrong???
Which raises the final point on this topic : FE16 came in 2019, which was election year in the US, and we all know that election time in the US means the rest of the world is also affected, even if the rest of the world, well, isn't the US. As I mentionned, the US is over-represented in fandom spaces, and fandom is far from being a safehaven from all the mayhem and passion that always boil during election time and its immediate following.
Coupled with the "my fandom faves define my real life opinions" thingie I already wrote about, and we had an explosive cocktail for bad takes, needless aggressivity, ridiculing people with dissident opinions because they are seen as "wrong", etc etc. And let it be something trendy or not, especially when (young?) people are arguing about "politics" in online spaces, but it always boils down to gross simplification of various complex issues and/or using catchphrases or "shock-value" words to win over whoever is reading/listening.
(et je ne dis pas ça parce que certains de nos politiques font des "immigrés clandestins ou pas" la source de tous les maux, ou le fait que nos députés font la même chose en ce moment, Jonluk et Marine main dans la main, pour paralyser l'Etat afin de pousser Manu à la démission et éviter la case prison pour Marine)
I always thought the "CEO of racism" was a meme, but through Fodlan discourse, I started to wonder if it was something started seriously by someone who really thought that "racism" is caused by one person.
And we finally get to the point : somehow, somewhat, Rhea is supposed to be responsible for people/humans valuing superpowers.
Forget that the same "quest to obtain those superpowers" led to the extermination of her kin, or how the devs themselves explained that people - at least in their setting - always want more power :
As a result, what would happen to humans who gained power... they would want even more power, and find a dragon much stronger to beat in order to collect materials forcefully, in order to make even more powerful weapons... and so that was the cycle that was born. And that was the birth of Fodlan's Ten Elites
Wait, kill that, those superpowers don't exist since the game and the characters (bar Catherine, but I agree with @9thwither here, Cat is one of the most overlooked characters in this fandom!) never talk about them, so they don't exist...
Rhea is thus the reason why people value bloodlines - especially since those bloodlines don't come out with superpowers.
It sounds better and closer to what you could "hear" irl, from someone who's discoursing on the internet to explain "why" some people are more valued than other, it's because of religion and the Pope! It cannot be because of, well, human greed or just the need to have more power (for good or wrong reasons), no.
"But random, the Church most likely promotes a "divine right to rule" doctrine and let the 10 Elites' families rule over their clans in Faerghus thus gain nobility!"
Sure, but everything is moot if you consider this : to make this take viable, we ignore the game and consider that crests are just bloodlines, and not, objective sources of superpowers.
So why are we, discussing about this hypothesis/theory, even arguing about what the game says and/or does?
Bob Blaiddyd can kill a giant lion/wolf with his fists at base level, is it because of a supposed doctrine that people rally and want to be in Bob's graces, or because Bob has the power to protect them all? Karen Charon can summon rain, are people siding with her because Rhea told them to, or because Karen can make crops grow?
In conclusion : why people are still, in 2024, sprouting those takes?
1- Because they refuse to engage with the game and realise that it is a fantasy game belonging to a very specific genre
2- Because fandom opinions reflect on your real life opinions and likes : so they must find a reason to oppose what their perceive as an unacceptable power inbalance otherwise it means that they support the various inequalities that exist IRL
3- Because Religion BaD and bar the "projected takes from transposing feelings about an IRL church on a fantasy one" more and more people tend to prefer an "easy to proceed" solution than think about multi-causal issues and find solutions that might not.
Of course, I can already guess that some people might argue that they don't "refuse to engage with the game" since this take is more a less a condensed version of the Supreme spiel, and as developed above, the game does - willingly - a shit job at demonstrating that her spiel is nonsense (they had to add the "greed" part in an interview released after the game and its only and final DLC!), just like her sockpuppet who supposedly learns how misguided he was in certain routes... only to end with the same ice cream, albeit with a different topping.
However, Dimitri and Sylvain mention how crestless children are disowned in Faerghus... when Dimitri's own uncle is ruling over a domain himself, Ingrid's brothers exist in the background and Gustave is still Baron Dominic's brother, on top of having been the royal master at arms for at least, depending on the route, 3 generations of Faerghan kings.
In a game where Dorothea can blame the Goddess for fighting in a war her bestie started - without anyone pointing this out - it's obvious this verse has unreliable narrators, but after 5 years and having played all routes in both games + a DLC + a dev interview explaining how and why some humans acquired crests...
Tl;Dr :
Reason 1- is most likely the most prevalent why this take exists anon, "because some people refuse to engage with the game" with the added topping of "save for what Supreme Leader and her sockpuppet say that I can use to demonise the characters I don't like".
#anon#replies#fandom woes#trying to sum up the reasons of why the 5 years of discourse happened is... complex lol#this takes encompasses everything#Fodlan and some parts of the fandom's refusal to engage with Nabateans aka the fantasy part of the game#treating crests like a glorified family name or worse a hereditry proof#takes only being meant as gotchas against fellow fans and deriding them for being 'wrong' to the point of harassment#sure the game is as consistent as a marshmallow#but the refusal over 5 long years to engage with what you can chew out from this marshmallow is just#what is even the point of any discussion?#sure lolcalisers lolcalised a lot making some muddled messages even more muddled but#explaining that people value super-powers because someone told them to? Instead of just#people loving Superman because he can protect them and do nifty things?#never underestimate the influence of Church BaD in this fandom anon or in online spaces#not saying we don't have our own edgy r/atheist people here but this is basically taking it to another level#and let's not forget the “my fave is better than yours because he can solve poverty in 2 easy steps” nonsense#and it's fightening how sometimes this can apply to both fandom or real life#'you can cure greed racism and xenophobia by killing this one person'#remember the “CoS is BaD because it instaured a CASTE system????���#top ten of the takes in those fives years lol it wins the “i'm using words i don't know” trophy#Imagine a situation where we could have had Lin refusing to go to the warfront because of his hematophobia#and his superior either Supreme Leader or maybe Billy themselves telling them it's okay to stay behind if they don't want to participate#as long as he doesn't have any regrets if some of his allies who don't return might have been saved by his powers#sure it's assholish but it looks like what F!Lewyn told Seliph#Much like Elincia who breaks down saying she never wanted to be queen#sure she never wanted but now she's there what is she going to do?#blame her father for having been the king ?#FE16
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just need to give a shoutout to all the people who interact w me or the things i make on here for the love and good vibes. twitter's been pissing me off the past couple days and i just think it reaffirms i'll never really leave tumblr bc the fandom culture here is just so much.. more lol
#more respectful funnier more loving more fun in a lot of ways#getting lectured by ppl years younger than me abt why posting shit without credit is ok when its like#all the best and most fun fandom spaces are dying#ppl are growing up sure but all these ppl are like 'i used to make gifs so heres why ur wrong' and its like#oh you USED to? well whyd u stop ? bc the effort level wasnt worth it just to be#saved and reposted w ill intent or not get any interaction like its so#everything is abt a race for interaction on the dumbest n most unoriginal jokes#its extremely frustrating to try to justify spendinf any time doing anything online anymore when ppl are so fcuking flippant like its crazy#'heres a shitty unsized n uncoloref gif i ran through some website and IM okay w ppl reposting' like lol#anyway when giffing dies itll be a sad fuckinf day to me jfkd truly a useless skill#but that means everyone still doing it is doing it for the love of the game or#the love of archival work and it makes ppl beinf so fuckinf disrespectful#or going to bat for nonsense seem so absurd to me like#really . really. if u have an option to share where it originally came from with one less click#ur gonna choose NOT to do that and instead repost just to insinuate the person who made it did it to insult someknes appearance#like. its just so.#fandom is dying and its so sad and etiquette is nowhere to be found so NXKKD gratefuo for the ppl gere#and sorry for the rant#none of thise matters but ive had an abundance of free time the past few says so ive been STEWING#mostly just want to say i love u all NDKKS and even if ive complained abt interaction its mostly just tbing website dying more than anything#which. is so sad lol#but i love everyone still here
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keep seeing a popular trans woman get "accused" of taking accutane and it just. transmysogynists are so sad imagine thinking "you took a prescription drug for its intended use" is an insult. like. what.
please i promise you will be so much happier if you stop measuring femininity by completely mundane things that bodies sometimes do. its not "feminine" to not have acne jfc.
#this is a trend in all transphobic spaces#getting into bullshit like bone structure and hair texture and nonsense like that#which already has tons of variation even among cis women#in an effort to narrow 'womanhood' down to the very specific type of white women that beauty products sell you on#if you know the woman i'm talking about you will know that she did NOT use accutane. but also that doesnt even matter here tbh#she can do whatever she wants with her body none of my business
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girls aren't dumb and i absolutely take it seriously & hate it when anyone tries to imply this. its an absolute and instant ick for me when a real and/or fictional person expresses such a sentiment.
long story short i really hate the IPKKND fanfic cliche of Arnav/the narrator commenting on Khushi's "peanut brain" "tiny brain" "don't use your peanut brain" "don't use this tiny brain of yours" (🤢🤢🤢 its a trope...its actually a trope...)
like first of all that is demeaning AF its not funny at all (sorry i have no sense of humour about this...i just don't) and second of all, KHUSHI IS CANONICALLY SMART. I KNOW THE WRITING GOT BAD AT TIMES BUT SHE IS A SMART AND RESOURCEFUL GIRL WHO HAD THE CAPABILITY TO WIN ARNAV'S CHALLENGES AND IMPRESSED HIM AGAINST HIS WILL EVEN WHEN HE WAS AT HIS PEAK OF HATING HER. EVERYONE AROUND HER KNOWS HER AS THE IDEAS PERSON AND GOES TO HER FOR CREATIVE SOLUTIONS TO DIFFICULT PROBLEMS. NANI CALLS HER SMART AND MATURE FOR HER AGE, REPEATEDLY!!!
look, she is not stupid, any more than Arnav is a violent & abusive, which is to say, yes sometimes when the writing was bad, this is how they came across but at their core this is not who they are. i don't want this smart Arnav dumb Khushi dynamic, I like them as two smart people (maybe with different types of intelligence) who match each other's level like no one else can and IDK why you'd want it any other way!
#ipkknd#im SORRY i know i subject ya'll to my rants when the IPK Tumblr community is actually so good and free of such nonsense#but thats why i rant here i know its a safe space#i have got to stop reading fics I know are going to make me angry#iykyk#one of these days i will come to tumblr to post my fic and not my rants...one of these days....
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There are a lot of Worst Things about depression. Everybody's got a different Worst Thing. Hell, I can't always decide on what my personal Worst Thing is. Sometimes it's the numb despair. Sometimes, it's the dumb animal panic. Most of the time, though, it's that there isn't enough room inside of me.
What I mean is: I care about too many things. I think that's pretty standard these days for a lot of people. Empathy stretched fine as gossamer. We see so much suffering each day. We see so much more than any one person was meant to. So you wind up caring, because caring is what a person is wired to do, what makes life worth living. You care about people you know. You care about people you've never met. You care about situations in countries you haven't set foot in. You care about the political climate of your own hometown. You care about your own dreams. You care about your best friend's bad luck. You care about your pets' health. You care about when the next book in your favorite series will come out. You care, and you care, and you care, because you're wired to care about it all. It's exhausting sometimes, but it's life. Sometimes the best part of life.
With depression, the caring space gets to feeling too full. Has packed tight, all those elements butting into one another until they lose meaning, the darkness threading into the gaps. There just isn't enough room inside of me for all the fear and the despair and the weird empty anger, much less the stuff that actually matters. So I start shorting out. Because, see, depression makes it so I can't care; don't see a point in even trying. And the real me, the part of me that isn't being cannibalized by the demons, doesn't know how to do anything else. So the middle ground becomes: shrink the caring space. Shrink it down bit by bit. All systems are running at once, and we're getting low on juice, so the natural thing is to start shutting off lights. Start jettisoning the extraneous to make room.
Except it's depression at the wheel, not common sense, so it's not just the extra flair getting turned off. Not the despair and the mind-numbing terror and the reckless urge to pick fights. The stuff that winds up getting tossed is stuff I need. Stuff that keeps me going. It's all being shut down at once, no rhyme or reason, until I suddenly can't care about the things that are me. Intrinsic, fabric-level stuff. I can't care about creating. About making art. About telling stories. I can't care about other people telling stories. I can't care about my friends the way I'm supposed to. I can't care about their travel or their kids or their wins. I can't care about making food for myself. I can't care about brushing my teeth. I'm shutting down to component parts, but I didn't get to pick which components are still running full-power, so I wind up with just a handful of randomly blinking lights. Suddenly, I care very much about my fear of the future, my financial insecurity, how fast I can run a 5K, a single television show--and just about nothing else.
It isn't healthy. It's sure as fuck not sustainable. And I know from experience that the rest of the system will come back online eventually. I'll find myself telling another story in a week or a month. I'll find myself sketching something out of nowhere. I'll find myself able to grieve a lost loved one and treasure my new nephew. It'll all come back, in time. But it's the in-between bit that grates. The bit where I'm in the shuttle with my knees tucked against my chest, sucking oxygen through a straw, trying to conserve whatever is still running. The bit where I resent the people in my life who aren't running on fumes like I am. Where I'm furious that they can care, that they can move freely, that they aren't pacing a minuscule cage like I am. It's a loss, all the months and years I've spent on life support. It's a fucking waste.
That's where I am right now. Life support. Little things get in, from time to time. I can suddenly inhale a book series start to finish. I can suddenly coax myself into eating the same thing for lunch for three weeks straight. Those are extra lights on the dash, and I have to treasure them. Because there isn't really room, so any little thing that I find space for is a gift. And everything else--talking. planning. trusting. creating. intake.--has to stay dark for a little while longer.
It'll come back on. I have to believe it'll come back on.
In the meantime, I hunker in my shuttle, and I wait.
#depression#personal#i dunno if this makes any sense at all#and i know plenty of people here didn't follow me for navel-gazing mental illness essays#so like. feel free to blacklist those terms to your heart's content#but this place has always been an artist's gallery and a sticker book and a journal#and sometimes that last bit looks like this#anyway. yeah. can't care. or i've cared so much i've shorted myself out. i dunno.#i'm hyperaware that i want to be doing things with my time. or that i need to be. and still very little is getting in#so if you wonder why i perodically post some nonsense and then vanish for three days#or why i'm inhaling thousands of pages of space opera in a week#it's because...it's a single blinking light on my dashboard. and it could go away at a moment's notice. so i'm clinging to whatever gets in#and hoping the rest of the lights will come back on soon
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Sometimes I get so soft because I firmly believe that even without taking into consideration the games Katniss and Peeta ended up in a home better than the ones they grew up in. Peeta helps take the responsibility off of her and makes her smile! Katniss is safer and more caring towards Peeta even when she’s grumpy! I really do love the “I know this would’ve happened anyway” because I do really believe they give each other something nobody else can. This may be the shipper goggles but they seemed more like best friends to me than any other relationship in the books.
it is so lovely to think of them giving each other the life that they deserve.
i’m firmly with you that peeta takes the burden off of katniss in terms of being responsible for her family’s survival. i’ve spoken about this before but it would be so healing for her to not have that constant weight on her shoulders, worrying where the next meal on the table is going to come from. knowing that there’s no pressure to bring in a haul from the woods, or to make good trades in the hob. their fridge is always stocked, and they can buy whatever they need when they need it.
likewise, katniss gets to give peeta all the love that he didn’t have growing up. she shows it in a million different ways, cutting his hair for him and waiting up for him at night when he wants to paint out all of his bad thoughts. even on her bad days, she never makes him feel unwanted or shut out. even if she can’t speak, she’ll find other ways to remind him that she still loves him more than anything. he doesn’t need the constant reassurances, he’s a big boy after all, but it is nice.
also sometimes i just think about the “i know this would have happened anyway” thing and short circuit because… miss katniss girl…. that is so much packed into a teeny tiny little statement. like, she knows she would’ve ended up with peeta. it feels like after everything she is finally admitting to herself, and to the reader what she’s (and we’ve) known for a long time. on the point you made about them giving each other something no one else can, she pretty much says as much when she says only peeta can give her what she needs (which is lovely in itself, too).
#also listen anon you will never be judged here for looking at things through shipper lenses#this is a safe space for alll kinds of everlark nonsense mkay#asks#keep them coming babies i’m loving your headcanons and thoughts !
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I know this can be contentious (and even just mentioning this kind of analysis as a serious one makes a lot of people who don't understand what literary analysis is very angry) but I actually think it's pretty cool that people can draw both transfeminine and transmasculine reads of Jesse from hit TV show Jesse out of the text of the show. Something something shared experiences something something solidarity. You get the idea
#i've done the Analysis(tm) i'm smart i know how to read. i think a trans read goes 'in all directions' as they say#idk i Barely participate in any discussion abt the show on here bc i haven't finished it yet#but just like most instances of interpretive lgbt analysis i think neither is the more objectively 'correct read'#bc that's not really how literary analysis works oops#open mick night#breaking bad#jesse pinkman#i could also post at length abt how transgender reads of 'prestige television' or 'classic literature'#are disregarded and treated as like 'stupid online teenager fandom nonsense'#but like it's a genuine analytical lens that can be applied to characters and stories even if 'that's not what the author intended'#but i don't wanna talk abt that rn. i wanna talk abt achy breaky bad and i've expounded most of my funny thoughts#so i'm testing out smart ones#don't worry i think abt other characters TOO. i'll get to it i wanna space em out
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SERIES VS. COUPLE
Do your favorite BL couples match your favorite BL series?
I feel like this must be a phenomenon, so I want to see what other people's lists look like. \:D/
These are mine. I'm very proud.
Voila:
TOP 3 SERIES: Be My Favorite, SOTUS, Until We Meet Again TOP 3 COUPLES: WinTeam, KongArt, KawiPi
Because, like, we judge series and character based on different criteria, right?
Be My Favorite shot to the top of my list by episode eight last year because the writing was immaculate (Waa took extra time to really hone the script, and it shows!), the directing is phenomenal (the behind-the-scenes footage and interviews show how much influence Waa had in bringing out the best in everyone), the premise is right up my alley (subjective, but y'know, favorites lists are subjective by nature), etc. etc. etc. It's just all-around an incredibly well-crafted show, so it's sitting pretty cozy up there at the top.
But!
When I think about couples, WinTeam and KongArt are firmly first and second.
WinTeam have been my favorite BL couple from Day ONE, and no one's even remotely challenged them since even though Between Us is somewhere around #5 or #6 on my list (depending on how much of the series I choose to selectively forget).
And KongArt? We saw them grow from age 19/20 to, like, 26/27? (I haven't math'd the years in a while, but the Our Skyy episode is definitely set during their late twenties.) Experiencing that much development for a BL couple is rare, and their relationship is portayed so beautifully.
So, y'know, both lists are completely subjective and don't always have anything to do with quality or whatever. WinTeam are my favorite couple because Win's my favorite character archetype and Team is a sassy traumatized gremlin, and Be My Favorite is my favorite series because holy shit I love gay time travel and it's the only series I've seen that's treated leitmotifs seriously.
SO TELL ME YOURS. \:D/
#i think it's a fun phenomenon and i'm curious what other people's lists look like#also just for clarity: i made this in the spirit of fun fandom nonsense#i also posted this to twitter but i'm not sure if people will take it in good faith or#y'know#fight about it#if they do i'll delete it there#the antagonism across all online spaces is widespread and really exhausting but i'm trying to counter it with positivity#i will spongebob my way through your anger#with my silly little canva graphics and my carefully selected screenshots from my little gay hallmark shows#thai bl#bl series#be my favorite#sotus the series#until we meet again#winteam#kongart#kongarthit#kongpob x arthit#kawi x pisaeng#kawipi#this was on twitter for five minutes before someone managed to get antagonistic about it#so it now lives exclusively here
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those two posts about tssm Otto and how he's written in fandom spaces honestly makes me think of these words my friend said to me when I was talking to them about that:
"If you had a fandom you'd get the tssm Ock treatment and I'm very sorry for that"
..They're absolutely not wrong, honestly. it'd be funny if it weren't also a bit scary and sad.
sometimes, once in a blue moon, I jokingly think about if I was a fictional character from a popular media how the fanbase would react to or treat my character. what horrible little tropes would I be subjected to? how will my character and personality be judged and perceived? what trends and all would be done to my character? will I be liked or hated? how horribly mischaracterized would I become? just how unrecognizable would I be redrawn? redesigned?
Then I stop and be thankful that I am real and unpopular.
#ghostie mumbles#I have things to be doing and yet here I am sitting and thinking of nonsensical things.#I've seen many horrors within fandom from my experiences both inside and out of various spaces. so I have some decent knowledge
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old doodle, i really miss femboro 💙
#oboro shirakumo#shirakumo oboro#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha#bnha#genderbend#my drawings#i was doing my monthly file cleanup and i found this one#i still like this thing so i'm posting it here so i can delete it from my files later akusjdka#i have to free up space i keep a lot of nonsense pics that i don't even use mmm#but my sai files rlly take up more space than a whole folder of 4000 pic smh#i have to delete projects since i no longer need to continue tbh
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I’ve read your google docs of the katayanagi twins’ fashion. Super interesting stuff and I love it as both a fashion enthusiast and fan of the siblings. Your document really emphasizes the distinction between those two even with the very little info we have on them (kyle’s style could be late 80s japanese pop while ken’s style could be more leaning towards visual kei). Also matches their personalities (ramona mentioned kyle is the hothead of the two, so I guess the pretty and proper bad boy kind of look fits him)
Something about your endnote fascinates me, however. You mentioned something about the twins’ relationship being strained but then strengthened after ramona’s betrayal. Would you implore more on the idea? I’m now invested in it very much…. thank you and have a good day
Thank you!!! I mostly based my looks off this piece of concept art by O’Malley, which makes me think the personalities the twins had in their few anime appearances were just parts that weren’t as well communicated in Vol. 5
(I think that little doddle next to the crossed out “they’re not even Japanese” emphasizes that visual kei comparison you made)
But as for the second bit, I think the twins weren’t exactly on great terms, even before Ramona. A decent part of this has to do with my own personal head cannons surrounding Kyle and how I perceived his and Ramona’s relationship with alcohol, but also with just how different the twins seem to be under the surface. They seem like they would run in almost completely opposite social circles and be invested in similarly opposite things.
And it’s honestly really tied to their teens. Basically, their parents kinda unintentionally set up a dynamic where Kyle felt like Ken got away with everything (piercings, weird clothes, going out to band shows and having a more trusting relationship with their parents) and Ken thought Kyle couldn’t get his act together (partying, showing up back home late, getting in fight with their parents). Neither was true as in reality their parents let a lot of stuff with Ken slide that wouldn’t have otherwise because “well at least he’s not drunk” and Kyle was genuinely going through some serious mental shit but not telling anyone so his actions just looked super random and mean spirited. So by the time they get to college, they haven’t really addressed this weird image they have of the other in their heads.
And it explains how Ramona was even able to two time siblings. They’re not going to the same parties, they’re not really talking at length about their lives (since they never mention enough detail to make the other suspicious), they’re probably not really bothering each other much if they share a dorm. Ramona unconsciously sees and plays this divide, knowing they’re not really together enough for her to get caught.
It also emphasizes for me a very emotional aspect for all three of them. Ramona is hot off a messy break up (Roxie), the breakup that ended her first relationship with a women and also seems to be her first attempt at having something…maybe not serious but genuine (it seemed more important than anything with Matt Todd or Lucas). Shes hardly in the headspace to be in a relationship, and maybe after some nights out, she’s terrified and not sure what to do because whoops she’s in two! And the longer it goes on the less Ramona actually wants to fix it because it’s kinda fun in a messed up way, and the twins aren’t bad company…until it all comes crashing down and she’s out the door before they even notice she’s gone. I think Ramona’s relationship with the twins is her at her actual lowest, with her being most at fault for what happened and the least justified in bolting afterwards. This low point is exactly when Gideon finds her, unsure and upset at herself, in exactly the position to manipulate her. (Sorry if this came off a little Ramona bash-y, I love Ramona but this girl makes bad choices)
As for the twins, I think the really strong emotional beat here is the idea of how avoidable it would’ve felt for them. How if they had just been able to set aside their own bullshit, if they had even bothered to connect at all, they could’ve figured it out in a few days, rather than in a few weeks or a few months. Ramona’s betrayal is catalyst for them to sit down and just…talk out a lot of their own personal crap.
But yeah that’s why. Sorry this got super massively long, but I hope you liked it and it wasn’t too ramblely lol.
#long post#anon ask#scott pilgrim#ken katayanagi#kyle katayanagi#katayanagi twins#ramona flowers#my head cannons#thank thank thank you for bringing this up I’ve been dieing to talk about it#the twins low key seem like the kinda guys to be super put together on the outside but like five seconds from unraveling on the inside#I love them they are my messy idiots#also this is mostly based on comic lore don’t come in here with that they were her TAs nonsense#they can be players but weirdos? nuh uh. no.#tho I am deeply curious like what was Ramona’s major? engineering maybe since she knows about the sub space highways
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unfortunately i do think this was kind of a weak season finale, there's a lot of stuff from overarching story arcs throughout the season that feel really unresolved (not in a 'this story is gonna keep on going' way, just a straight up 'we're not addressing this any longer' kind of way).
like, have sam and lois talked? she has a lot of abandonment issues and the last time they interacted he abandoned her and it sent her spiraling, have they communicated about this? why did waller go on the run? did checkmate turn against her? why are slade and lex apparently on the same side now? they hated each other and slade should be thrilled lex's metallos failed, why are they suddenly apparently pals? do they even still work for the government? clark and lois's "break up" and the issues involved in it on both clark and lois's side hasn't ever actually been addressed and it needs to be, are we ever gonna see that? where tf are clark's little shorts????? are they gone forever?????
combining that with the fact that this episode feels really padded (given that there was just this constant circular 'they're up they're down they're up they're down' for like 90% of the fight with brainiac), i do really feel like the story would have been better served if they cut the padding, resolved the brainiac invasion at the end of ep 9, and devoted ep 10 to addressing these myriad loose ends in a tight enough way that the season doesn't feel incomplete but still leaving doors open for season 3. because some of the loose ends are fine, 'oh we don't know what happened to hank henshaw', that's just a good teaser for whenever he shows up next season as metallo, that's a good loose end to have for a season finale. but a lot of these just feel like unresolved plots that aren't getting any resolution ever. sam lane went through an entire character arc and we didn't see any of it and it feels jarring, it feels like a writing fail. which is unfortunate because i really love this show and most of the writing has been very good, especially this season.
so i hope that they're able to be a bit tighter and more cohesive for season 3. and also pay chris parnell a hundred million dollars so he can voice anime slade wilson in every single episode.
#personal#my adventures with superman#the sam lane stuff in particular is just#like there was set up to make this a major arc especially for lois#so honestly it either needed to be left completely unresolved and then moved to season 3#or they needed to lengthen the time devoted to the brainiac invasion plot#like have this season be focused on clark and lois's issues and the sam lane stuff and lex's rise at task force x with waller#and maybe start with kara showing up on earth#and then have the space/brainiac stuff take place throughout season 3#like i am aware that they weren't renewed for season 3 at the time of making season 2#but there was still a way to make this season satisfying in its own right as a self contained story#while not making the ending of it kinda nonsensical and feel like it has a really slapdash resolution#and i don't think they nailed it#but i love this show and this season had far more positives than any kind of negatives#so i eagerly await season 3#release jack quaid from whatever bullshit is happening over at the boys and let him just be superman here for the next two decades
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it never ceases to amaze me how the younger generations just literally think """content""" falls from trees for them and they have no appreciation for anyone who cultivates anything in spaces online. like the education system is so fucked man flkdsj... media literacy is dead...
#being a teacher rn with chatgpt must be crazy bc the way some ppl act on the internet these days is like#do u just strip full sentences n paragraphs u read online and put them in a paper w no credit?#do u get machines to write nonsensical shit for u..#do u get it to spit out images and call it art.. like oh fucking please#dont even know how to appreciate art or effort for what it is..#have to be the first to post smth w hte same unoriginal shit like lol it's so exhausting#love it here but hating it more and more.. all these spaces are gonna have nothing left soon enough the way things trend atp
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