#Next thing you know I'd play this game a for year straight... Insane.

[the--firevenus]

A HUNDRED DAY LOGGED IN!!!!!... Damn that's crazy, how did I get here

[sweetmage]

I was talking to my friend about DAI's treatment of Anders the other day and how it drives me INSANE. This game is SO cruel and uncharitable to him! Firstly, the only time we EVER see his manifesto in canon (as far as I know) is in the house of a crazed murderer with a pile of bodies in his basement. Every single mention is placing the blame firmly on his shoulders. I know some people subscribe to the "Varric is distancing himself from their actions for his/their safety" which I subscribe to as well simply for my own sanity, but it does sometimes become hard to swallow when it's been revealed that (assuming you romanced him) he knew where Hawke and Anders were the entire time yet he continues to let others trash Anders while he chimes, etc. And I DO understand and sympathize with Varric in a way, Kirkwall was his home and when the war broke out there was mass death and destruction and he had to leave. Anders did play a role in that, but he only sped up the process, he was not the root cause and they were heading that direction anyway. Also, he saw Meritdith's red lyrium nonsense firsthand, he saw the cruelty that preceded it, and everything she did aligned with what Anders was so concerned about. The Thedas-wide fighting is not "blondie's mess". I originally had my imported Hawke set to "supported Anders" but I had to change it to "didn't support Anders" in my next playthrough because the supportive Hawke straight up calls him a "monster" so I found the alternative to somehow be the lesser of two evils. In the end, I guess that's more accurate to my Hawke anyway because he was upset that Anders went behind his back and didn't tell him first, he would have liked the time to prepare for the aftermath and all that. But yeah, the "I don't know if there ever was an Anders" from a conflicted but still loyal Hawke is easier for me to roll my eyes and ignore than "he wasn't a hero or a monster, maybe he was both" from a supportive Hawke. But ugh, I digress... As for the other main characters, I do understand that none of them knew Anders personally, they only know him from the big action he took with the chantry and nothing more. So I think it makes sense that they don't necessarily have a favorable view of him, some of them seem rather confused if anything. Not to mention a lot of them did not personally endure the circumstances that led Anders to do what he did. But I really would have loved for there to be more NPCs that supported him, especially when DA2 introduced "The Resolutionists" who seem to align pretty damn well with Anders.

And we got a character that supported Loghain which is a 10+ year old topic but not a single one that supported Anders who seems to be a hot-button issue atm? At the very least, I wish there were at least some people that questioned the whole "Anders did this, this is all his fault" narrative (especially once DAI itself revealed that the war did not, in fact, start because of Anders) or at least SOME differing opinions on him?? As far as I can tell, the only person who has been remotely charitable to him is Solas in this conversation (the thing my friend sent me that got me talking about it):

And the only other mention I could find of people that may have supported him is in the Annexing Kirkwall wartable mission where Sebastian mentions "Anders's associates" who he believes might know where he is. But then again, this is coming from the man who wants to march on a city of innocents for to find a man who probably isn't even there so should be taken with a huge grain of salt.

FWIW I now play with the mod that makes Aiding Kirkwall trigger every time because it better aligns with my HCs for Seb and I will never in my life kill Anders so... I actually like Sebastian even though I don't agree with him most of the time. I get his immediate hurt and betrayal at the end of DA2 because he effectively lost his family again, but I'd like to after 3 whole years of being prince he'd have cooled down enough to uhhh... not march on a bunch of innocents??? Which seems very antithetical to his character and development in DA2?? Annexing Kirkwall is silly, so I do not see it. But I digress, this is an Anders post!!

Anyway, I know I am not saying anything that hasn't been said to death by this point. I love each and every DA companion in their own way, regardless of whether or not I agree with them. But I feel like this is less an issue with them and more an issue with how the writers chose to frame the narrative. I do have to wonder if the fact that so many people hated and were averse to Anders made them think that this is what the people wanted. I have quite a few issues with Anders's writing and handling in DA2 as well, don't get me wrong, but at the very least I enjoyed the ability to support him all the way through.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Okay so over the past two days I've rewatched/watched Alien 1-4 and boy was it ever a decline. For context, I've only seen Alien and Aliens prior to this, as well as one of the prequels, though I can't recall which one, but I'm not including those because I haven't watched/rewatched them yet.

Spoilers below for Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection, in case you haven't seen them, because I have thoughts.

Alien is perfect, of course. It still holds up really well and I'm still beyond happy that I was able to watch it in theaters many years ago as opposed to just on TV. It's definitely worth seeing in a theater IMO.

Aliens I've always had bad memories of, and while I was certainly reminded of why, it actually wasn't nearly as bad as I remembered it being. I think the character's name is "Hudson", or the guy who famously says "Game over, man! It's game over!" Anyways, he's why I had such bad memories of this movie. I find him incredibly annoying BUT the last time I saw this movie was probably a decade ago so while I still find it annoying, I'm able to look past it and overall find the rest of the movie enjoyable.

Alien 3 was uh... well let me just say that my initial reaction was WTF because of the "choice" they made at the beginning of the film to axe every character who survived from Aliens, aside from Ripley, and including Newt who was like so pivotal to the previous movie. I was so baffled this I had to google it and I see that it primarily wasn't their fault that they had to make this choice because I guess the actress who played Newt didn't actually want to be an actress, but I don't know, I think they could've managed to handle it a bit better than they did. It was just insanely jarring to go straight from saving her in Aliens to "btw she died off-screen between movies". This colored my opinion of the movie at first, but ultimately this movie wasn't so bad all things considered. The next movie definitely makes this one seem near-perfect by comparison.

Alien Resurrection is just bad. It's just so so bad. If I hadn't caught a glimpse of Joss Whedon's name in the credits at the beginning, I could've still guessed it a mile off. Ironically, even though Alien 3 actually had Ripley fuck a dude, this movie was way more unnecessarily sexualised than that one. Not to mention the fact that they went with the whole angle that the aliens are now Clone Ripley's children which makes sexualising the two infinitely worse.

There's also the fact that this movie just flat out does not make sense and is contrived as hell. They barely attempt to explain how Ripley is even in this movie to begin with after she died in Alien 3, giving us a one-off line about how they "scraped blood samples" that they found in the prison and used that to clone her, utilizing Alien DNA, which is how they wound up with 7 other failed attempts that all looked semi-Alien-like whereas our Ripley is #8 and looks normal.

Except this I could buy into. Is it contrived? Absolutely. But whatever, this world has synthetic androids and pseudo-supercomputers so whatever, I can buy that they have cloning too. But what I couldn't buy was that somehow by cloning her they also managed to clone the Queen alien that was lying dormant in Ripley's body back in Alien 3? I'm sorry, what? If you can do that why do you even need Ripley, an active threat to your plans?

There's also the plot contrivance of why they didn't immediately kill her off once she'd served her purpose. They had the Queen at that point, and the subject of terminating her comes up twice but we never actually get given an answer as to why they keep her alive. They even go as far as to call out the fact that she's an active danger to their project. Given that Joss Whedon was writing this, I'd have at least expected some kind of creepy doctor who wanted to fuck his Riply science experiment or something. Anything to even attempt to justify her continued existence.

Also I'm sorry these fuckers have been researching, reproducing and raising these aliens and not one of them thought that maybe they should make their cages acid proof?

Overall, just a terrible movie. Sucks too because I guess it leads nowhere? You're telling me they ran out of the tried-and-true method of "somehow the Aliens have returned" when the ship full of them crashed on Earth? Nah. Also I LOL'd at the ending because I'm sorry, is Earth uninhabited? I don't think so. But there they went crashing a fucking massive spaceship into it with no concerns and we just roll credits.

Anyways, guess I'll start Prometheus and Covenant tomorrow.

[lunarflare64]

what music do you recommend?

That's a little difficult to answer. I like everything, but also I'm insanely picky, I hate music apps like Spotify because the algorithms can't understand me, and them getting it wrong makes me grumpy

But, inconsistent music taste aside, I do have more electronic stuff than anything else in my music hoard, and the one genre that has more hits than misses is electroswing, Jamie Berry for a lot of it, but plenty of other artists are in my collection too

I've been finding more and more artists I consistently like lately too, which has been nice. I like Billie Eilish a fair bit, as well as BoyWithUke, Alec Benjamin, T!LT, Mystery Skulls, Poor Man's Poison, Porcupine Tree, NEFFEX, Citizen Soldier, and NF, and FiASKO is the newest addition to the lot

The one artist I've liked the longest is actually SharaX, I've been a fan of hers since before she got into Undertale mixes. I remember waiting back in the day, during the prime of Undertale's popularity, wondering if SharaX would take a crack at the OST, and then the popularity started to die and I shrugged and moved on, and then BOOM, Undertale mixes for the next six years straight with no signs of stopping

I'm sorta in between songs right now, I have phases where a bunch of new songs are added to my hoard, and then phases where I'm not really vibing with anything specific, which can be a bummer, but I can list the songs from my last big phase! (I'd link them or a playlist but Tumblr has a limit on youtube links and I don't do public playlists. Don't like that shit. Hate it, in fact.)

(This'll be in order of when they were added so you can see when I started focusing on specific vibes at certain points)

Fan Behavior - Isaac Dunbar

GUY.exe - Superfruit

Can I Get A Witness - SonReal

Stunnin' - Curtis Waters

Sail Away - Lovelytheband

Things I Thought Were Mine - Alfie Templeman

Bones - Imagine Dragons

Don't Care Crown - Fox Stevenson

Boys - Lizzo

Sweet Tooth - Scott Helman

Girls In Bikinis - Poppy

Yoiyoi Kokon - Reol

Onion Boy - Isaac Dunbar

Gazpacho - Orange Culture (you know that one tiktok that goes around here occasionally, the one where the lead singer lost their voice and they had to improvise? And it was actually good even though it was just the guy talking about how he went and bought watermelon sour patch kids? Same dudes)

Demon Mode - Stileto

E GiRLS ARE RUiNiNG MY LiFE - Corpse (FiASKO REMiX)

THE MAiN CHARACTER (ULTiMATE) - FiASKO

DUBSTEP NEVER DiE - Blaqout X Whiskers (FiASKO REMiX)

HAUNTED - Laura Les (FiASKO REMiX)

SHiNSO (CRiCKETS GO) - FiASKO

HENTAi iN A CASKET (DEAD) - FiASKO

BUiLD A BiTCH - Bella Poarch (FIASKO REMiX)

DREAM ARCHiTECT - FiASKO

CLUBROCKiN (GET iT POPPiN) - FiASKO x RAGE-BOT

PHOTO iD - Remi Wolf (FiASKO REMiX)

STEREO GHOST (WHiSPER) - FiASKO

INSANE - FiASKO x TADROS x OMMIN

Haunt - FiASKO x Brandon Scott

ADHD - Silent Child (even if I have to correct the guy at the self deprecating parts because that's not my energy and I can't let it slide)

Sleepwalk - Forrest Day

Invaders Must Die - The Prodigy

Stand Up - The Prodigy

1,000,000 - Nine Inch Nails

Little Darkness - TuXe (Cult of the Lamb) (I wouldn't bother following this guy though, I ditched his channel because he sees no issue with playing and creating stuff for the Harry Potter game)

Yes I'm aware I could have bundled the FiASKO songs together, but you've gotta admit, seeing the list go ooooon like that is just fucking funny, you can SEE the way I lost my shit over them for a long period of time

[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!

[tuiccim]

Terrigenisis (Part 2)

Pairing: Avengers X Inhuman!Reader

Words: 3067

Summary: Your life is torn apart after undergoing terrigenisis unwillingly your life is turned upside down when you are deemed too dangerous to return to civilian life. You are put with the Avengers team to train and rebuild your life.

Part 1 

—————————————

A few weeks passed and you had settled into the routine of training, paperwork, and boredom whenever the rest of the team was on a mission. You had formed a quick bond with Wanda and the rest of the team was slowly letting you in. You were fluent in Sokovian. Natasha was helping you with Russian. Bucky was teaching you Romanian. 

It was Thursday and since the entire team was at the compound Steve declared it team dinner and game night. You were fairly quiet during dinner. The rest of the team bantered and laughed. During dessert, Steve had everyone write down a game and threw them all in a bowl. Being the hilarious person you are, you decided on Truth or Dare figuring it would be a fun way to learn about your new teammates. He walked over to you and asked you to pull one. 

“Alright, our game is… “ You look down at the slip of paper and see Truth or Dare, but it’s not your handwriting. Looking over at Steve, you snatch the bowl from him and look through the rest of the slips. 

“What’s up, (Y/N)?” Steve asks. 

“All the slips say the same thing, Truth or Dare. Except one that says Monopoly.” You say. 

“Bruce, we are not playing Monopoly ever again!” Natasha smirks at him, “Wait! That means you wrote Truth or  Dare, too!”

You grin at her. 

“We’re going to play the adult, no holds barred version.” Sam says. 

"I second that!" Tony raises his hand.

“Then we need some drinks and comfy couches.” Natasha says and everyone moves to the common room. Tony goes to the bar and begins making drinks for everyone. 

"Who goes first?" Wanda asks, curling up beside Vision on one end of the couch. Natasha and Bruce curl up together. 

You take a seat on the couch and Bucky sits next to you. You give him a small smile. He's been teaching you a lot at the range and your aim was improving. Steve sits on the other side of you and Sam sits next to him. Clint takes a chair with a grin on his face.

"Sam, start us off!" Tony says.

"Alright!" Sam rubs his hands together and eyes everyone in the room before his gaze settles on you. "Newbie, truth or dare?"

"Let's start slow. Truth." You say, already feeling a little heat in your cheeks.

"I'll go easy on you for this first one. How old were you the first time?"

"Uhhhh... 20."

"20? Late bloomer?" Sam smirks.

"20 is not that old for that!" You laugh, "How old were you?"

"Oh, no. It's not my turn!"

"Right, okay. Natasha, truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to let someone do a body shot off of you."

She turns to Bruce with a grin and Tony hands her a shot of whiskey. She settles the glass into her bra and straddles Bruce. He's grinning and bright red but takes the shot from her with his mouth and then kisses her. 

"Hot damn!" You say and giggle. Both Steve and Bucky look at you grinning. "They're so cute!" You whisper to them.

"Steve, truth or dare?" Natasha eyes the super soldier.

"Truth." Steve scowls at her jokingly.

"Do you like being called Captain in bed?" Natasha smiles wickedly.

"I don't mind pulling rank occasionally." Steve says as he turns red in the face. 

"O Captain, my captain!" Natasha teases.

"Sam, truth or dare." Steve says quickly. 

The game goes on and eventually circles back to you.

"Truth." You say avoiding the goofy and sexy dares that have gone around. 

"When was your last one night stand?" Vision asks.

"Never had one." You bite your lip awaiting the response. 

"What!?!" Natasha says. "Seriously? Never?"

"Nope."

"Wait, how old were you when you met Charlie?" Wanda asks.

"20." You say knowing exactly where this line of questioning was going to end.

"Was he your first?"

You just nod. Wanda squeals, "That's so sweet! How did you meet?" Natasha clears her throat and gives Wanda dagger eyes. Wanda's eyes widen and she looks at you sorrowfully, "I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking!"

"No, it's fine. I don't mind talking about Charlie. I was 20 and in college when we met. Saw this really cute guy at my rock climbing gym and he ended up coming over and climbing next to me. Charlie was super sweet and talkative and funny. We climbed and talked for 45 minutes and then he told me it was nice to meet me and left. Didn't ask for my number or anything and I was so bummed! So, two days later, I'm at my karate class and they are introducing a new instructor. Same cute guy from the gym. After class ended, he walked straight to me and asked me out. Said he’d been kicking himself for two days for not asking for my number at the gym. We dated for three years and then decided to get married while on vacation in Cancun."

"How long were you married?" Wanda asks.

"We were going on vacation to celebrate 8 years when it happened." You smile sadly. 

"I'm sorry." Wanda says.

"Thank you." You whisper. The mood in the room has sombered considerably. "So, anyway, that's why I have never had a one night stand. And so it's my turn to ask. Sam, truth or dare?"

"Truth." He smiles at you.

"Are you a boobs or a butt man?"

"I gotta say butt." Sam grins, "Tony, truth or dare."

"Dare." Tony says.

"Kiss the most beautiful person in the room." Sam smiles and holds out his arms jokingly. 

Tony simply lifts his hand to his face and kisses himself. "Too easy."

"That's not right, man." Sam scoffs.

"Truth or dare, Bucky." Tony smirks.

"Dare." Bucky rolls his eyes.

"Why don’t you give the new girl a welcome kiss?" Tony grins.

Bucky turns to you and says, "Is that okay with you, Doll?”

“Sure, Bucky. Lay it on me.” You smile.

With a slight tinge of pink in his cheeks, Bucky leans over and kisses your cheek. You laugh as the team erupts in boos at Bucky’s chaste kiss. 

“No go!” Tony yells over the heckles of the others, “Give her a real kiss!”

Bucky leans over and whispers in your ear, “Should we show them what a real kiss looks like?”

You nod, grab Bucky by the shirt and pull him to you. He melds his mouth to yours and leans into you. You both lose yourselves in the kiss, concentrating on putting a show on for the group who cheers and yells encouragement. By the time you break apart, Bucky had leaned you so far back you were practically in Steve’s lap, who is red in the face. 

“That was definitely a real kiss.” You whisper to Bucky who chuckles and winks.

The game goes on for a while and drinks flow. Finally, everyone says good night and you head to your room. A knock on the door only a few minutes later and you let Wanda in. 

“I wanted to say sorry again for earlier. I feel like I was insensitive. Are you okay?” She asks in Sokovian. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t mind talking about Charlie. We were together for 11 years. He was a big part of my life. You weren’t being insensitive, you were just curious. Okay?” You reply. 

“Thanks. I’m just really glad I didn’t hurt you. So, ummm…” Wanda’s eyes were wandering. 

You smirked knowing exactly what she wanted to ask, “It was just a kiss.”

“Really? You don’t think maybe?” 

You just smile but a little blush starts to come to your cheeks. 

“Something is there! Tell me.” Wanda squeals.

“It was nothing really. I just haven’t kissed anyone in over a year. Damn, it felt good.” You laugh at yourself. 

“So, do you like him?”

“I’m not quite ready for that yet, Wanda. I mean, I just took my wedding band off three weeks ago. My life has been insane the past year. I don’t know if I’m in the right place for that yet.” You look at Wanda and she pulls you into a hug. 

“I understand.” Wanda says.

“I will admit that Bucky is hot. And, whoa, he can kiss.” You smile at Wanda who giggles.

“Yeah. Sleep well.” Wanda says as she leaves. 

“Night.” You say.

--

The next morning you get to the range for your daily lesson. Bucky wasn’t there yet so you pull out your favorite gun and begin practice rounds without him. You are checking your target after your first clip when Bucky walks in. 

“Hey.” You say with a smile. 

“Hey. Nice grouping. Your aim is improving.” He studies the target. 

“Thanks. I’ve got a good teacher.” You notice he seems nervous and wonder if the kiss last night is making him feel awkward. “I really appreciate all your help, Bucky.”

“You’re welcome.” He finally looks you in the eye and smiles. 

“We okay? After last night?’ You ask, feeling the need for reassurance. 

“Yeah.” He nods, “Now, reload. I want that grouping a little tighter this time.”

“You got it, Sergeant.” You smile and get back to work. 

--

At lunch time, you are in the kitchen making a sandwich. Your headphones are in as usual and you are lip syncing with the song playing. Suddenly, one of your earphones is taken out of your ear and you look over to see Bucky stick it in his own ear. 

"Thought I'd see what you're always listening to." Bucky smirks.

"Varies from day to day. Today's selection is classic rock." You finish making your sandwich as he listens along to Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult. The playlist shuffles to the next song, Carry on My Wayward Son by Kansas. You smile at Bucky, "This is one of my favorites."

"You have interesting taste." Bucky chuckles.

"Oh, this is nothing. Your head would reel at some of my other playlists." 

"I'll have to steal one of your earbuds more often. Get acquainted with the musical tastes of our newest member." 

"I shall educate you thoroughly on the music of the decades." You joke as you move to the table to eat. Bucky joins you with his food and you chat as the rest of the team filters in. 

When he finishes, Bucky hands you back the earbud and says, "I look forward to my continued education."

You laugh, "You got it, Sergeant."

--

The team is sent on another mission and are gone for over a week. You continue to train, work with Redtail, take target practice, do paperwork, and try not to be bored out of your mind. As soon as FRIDAY tells you the quinjet is landing with the team, you sprint to them. Wanda is one of the first out and you embrace her. 

“I’m so glad you’re back. How did it go? Is everyone okay?” You rush your words, happy to see her.

“It went fine. Everyone is okay.” Wanda smiles, but looks tired. “I think we are all exhausted, though.” 

“I hear you. Let me know if you need anything.” You move on and welcome back the rest of the team. Fist bump with Sam, a side hug with Nat, a smile for Vision, you greet each one of them. When Steve and Bucky are the last to exit, you hug them both. “I’m glad you guys are back. Ya good?”

“Yeah, doll, tired.” Bucky says. 

“Everything went according to plan. I think everyone is exhausted.” Steve says. 

“I’ll take care of dinner tonight. Everybody could use a good meal. Go rest up for a while, guys.” You pat them each on the arm. 

“Thanks.” Steve says as he and Bucky head in. You follow behind and go to the kitchen to begin dinner prep. 

After dinner that night, you go outside to check on Redtail and Sam joins you. You pull out an extra falconry glove for him and he grins. 

“You think she’ll come to me?” Sam asks.

“I’m pretty sure she will. She likes you.” You warg into Redtail and ask her to come.

Redtail lets out a caw as she soars out of her dogwood tree and down to Sam’s outstretched hand. She immediately begins chittering at Sam and leans into him. 

“Bring her head closer to you. She won’t hurt you.” You guide him. 

Sam brings Redtail closer to his face and Redtail rubs her head against his cheek. A display of affection you’ve only ever seen her do with you. “Hey there, Redtail.” Sam croons at the bird.

You laugh delightedly at Sam’s reaction. “You should go flying with her one day. I bet it’d be amazing.”

“Next time I do a test run I’ll let you know.” Sam says as he pets Redtail’s chest. 

You reach out for Redtail and she climbs onto your glove. “Hey sweet girl.”

“How long have you had her?” Sam asks. 

“She’s been with me about eight months now. I found her shortly after she lost her mate. I think we kinda bonded over that.” 

“What happened?” 

“Red-tailed Hawks mate for life. Hers was shot down as they were building their nest.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam says to Redtail. “And for you. I can’t imagine. It seems like you’ve been through a lot, but you, uh, you never seem angry about it.”

“Oh, I am sometimes. I don’t know. I just keep thinking it’s gonna get better. It has to level out at some point.” You say sadly. 

“I didn’t mean to make you sad.” Sam puts a hand on your arm. 

“I know. It’s okay. We all know about loss. Just some of us more than others. I feel, uh, selfish when I compare my losses to Steve and Bucky’s. They lost their whole world.”

“Doesn’t make what we go through less painful.” Sam says.

“Gives it some perspective, though.” You nod and Sam returns it. 

“You’re a pretty cool chick.” Sam smiles.

“Thanks, Sam. You’re a pretty cool guy, too. I’m glad we’ve become friends.” You turn to Redtail still resting on your arm. “And I’m glad we’re besties.” You say booping your head to hers and then lifting your arm. Redtail takes flight and you watch her for a few minutes as she makes graceful loops. 

“Well, since we’re friends. That kiss with Bucky, huh?” Sam smirks.

“It was just a kiss, Sam. A dare.” You laugh. 

“Really? It looked pretty intense”

“Really. We were just putting on a show. Besides, I doubt I’m his type.” You scoff.

“Why would you say that?” Sam raises an eyebrow. 

You roll your eyes at him and walk inside. 

“Oh, no, you aren’t getting away that easily.” Sam strides up beside you. 

“Kinda out of my league, don’t ya think?” You laugh.

“No. So, you do like him?” Sam says.

“I mean he’s hot, but is there an Avenger who isn’t?” 

“That includes you.”

“I’m not an Avenger yet.”

“You’re still hot.”

“Flirting with the new recruit, Sam?” Steve appears as you and Sam enter the elevator. 

“Just letting her know that she’s on the same hotness level as the rest of the team. Right, Steve?” Sam smirks.

“Uh, yeah.” Steve says as a tinge of pink creeps into his cheeks. 

“See?” Sam says triumphantly. 

“Paint a guy into a corner, Sam. What else could he say?” You give Sam a look. 

“What? No! You’re beautiful!” Steve says emphatically.

You stare at him for a moment surprised by his vehemence. Licking your lips, you say, “Uh, thanks, Cap.” And swallow thickly.

“Uh, yeah, I mean. You are. You’re beautiful. You shouldn’t doubt that.” Steve says. The air is suddenly thick between the two of you and Sam’s head swivels back and forth watching you both. You give a pink-cheeked Steve a small smile before he straightens and stares a hole through the elevator doors. 

You sneak a glance back at Sam who has a gleeful expression across his face as he looks at Steve. You have a feeling Steve isn’t going to live this little encounter down for quite some time. 

--

A few days later, you are loitering in the common room when you decide you should check in with Redtail. You warg but immediately drop it when your mouth fills with the taste of oil and blood. “Ugh!” You exclaim heading to the kitchen and snatching a glass of juice out of Steve’s hand to take a long drink. 

“Uhhh… okay?” Steve and Bucky are staring at you like you have lost your mind. 

“I’m so sorry!” You cough a little. Your stomach is churning. “I warged into Redtail and she had apparently caught herself a snake. I’ve never caught her eating before and I could taste it. It was disgusting!” You laugh at yourself and how ridiculous it sounded. Steve and Bucky are chuckling too which makes you feel better. “I’ll fix you another glass.”

“Thanks. What other animals have you warged?” Steve asks.

“Um, cats, dogs, a horse, a goldfish. That was funny. For a watery creature they are airheads. Lots of birds. They’re my favorite. Emu was funny. They're fighting crazy...” You list a few more animals and the guys are chuckling at your descriptions. 

“And you can’t do this with humans, right?” Bucky asks. 

“No. It’d be nice, though, right. Just take over the target and have them deliver themselves to you?” 

“Make our jobs a lot easier.” Steve smiles. 

“Speaking of the job, any idea on a timeline for me?” You knew Steve was sizing you up everyday at training. “I’m not trying to push. But paperwork sucks.” You laugh lightly. 

“Yeah, it does.” Bucky agrees. 

"It's only been a few weeks." Steve says.

"I know. I'm not asking for a pass. Just a timeline. Some goals, markers, something. I'm a planner, Steve. I need a plan." Self-deprecation evident in your voice.

"Okay, I get that. Let me work some things out and we'll talk." He says.

"Thank you." You smile. "That'll really help me."

"You're a planner?" Bucky chuckles.

"Yeah. I like to have goals. Things to work towards. I mean, I'm okay with spontaneity, but limbo sucks." 

“That’s the truth.” Bucky smiles at you. It looks like he’s about to say something more but then he turns back to Steve.

Part 3

Masterlist

[echthr0s]

@antoncrane:

They're doing another vaulting end of next month again too, and I'm ;n; Won't be as bad as the first vault (which I still hold anguish over because of reasons) but it still sucks. It absolutely takes away from the new/newer player experience too, so I really don't blame anyone who nopes out at any point tbh.

that's the thing!! like... it bums me out because I can be insanely passionate about games I'm into and get so balls-deep into lore and characters, and if D2 was set up differently I'm preeeetty sure I would be that way with D2. I know what I'm into, it's very easy for me to tell from the start whether a game would be My Kind of Game or not and technically D2 does fit the mold. I watched some videos about the in-game history and there's so much fucking cool shit in there! but in-game is truly the best way to experience that sort of thing and taking that away from me and having lore videos on youtube be my only resource is....... off-putting, that's all I can say

like, don't take characters I've grown attached to and disappear them from the world. I'll kill you

and yeah the new-player experience is straight abysmal like I had tried D2 a couple of years ago bc hey, free-to-play, why not, and I had never been so confused and disoriented in my life lakjdflajg fortunately these days I'm well-versed in the art of watching youtube videos to try to figure out what the fuck to do in new games that have a poor new-user experience (and I think I'd pull through if I tried now) but like holy shit man. not to mention the fact that story elements are what truly drive me forward in games, not just gear progression (ARPGs like Diablo 3 aside because I play those for different reasons ... you also see I don't play them OFTEN lol), so...

also Commander Zavala is so hot he's so fucking hot and I'm SO mad about it 😡

[thottyimagines]

I really love your ideas haha! Have drunk konoha 11 + sasuke been requested yet? If not I'd love to read that

thank you!! I feel like it has been but I can’t find it and have no desire to go digging for it so I’m gonna do it again

Naruto

Gets all red when he drinks at all, let alone when he’s actually drunk. It’s so cute. 

He’s also one of those people who thinks he is even more invincible than usual when drunk. He’s off trying to challenge a sober Rock Lee to insane physical challenges if no one stops him. 

Talks a biiiig game shooting his shot and is super affectionate when drunk, but would chicken out if someone actually wanted to hook up. 

Occasionally tears up about friendship. Super embarrassing. Super cliche. 

Sakura

Is soooo aggressive lmao she’s so fucking mean I love it. The only people who can match this level of rude are Neji and Sasuke. If the three ever banded together (which they won’t, because Neji and Sasuke would fight), their target would be done for. 

Desperately wants to arm wrestle. 

Loves taking drunk showers. It’s just a fun time for her. 

Gets kind of annoyed when people get weepy with her. She’s drunk to have fun, not to cry. If she wanted to get drunk and cry, she’d do it in her own home, by herself, as god intended. 

Sasuke

Is such a wanderer. Every now and then team 8 will have to go track him down because he’s basically  playing hide and seek without telling anyone. 

Always tries to smoke a cigarette when he’s drunk. Always coughs super embarrassingly and painfully. 

Again, Sasuke is sooo mean lmao he just sits there, wine glass in hand, critiquing everyone aloud! Drunk Sasuke immediately senses the thing you are sensitive about and comments on it. 

Let Ino pierce his ear once when they were all drunk. Actually kind of liked it, but he eventually took it out because it got infected and he didn’t know how to take care of it (and was too embarrassed to ask). 

Kiba

Horny drunk for sure. Unlike Naruto, he’s down to hook up with whoever happens to returning his affections that night. Claims they actually fuck, but usually they just sloppy, ugly make out and then Kiba falls asleep and is ditched. 

If he drinks enough, Kiba is convinced he can communicate telepathically with Akamaru. No one can really disprove him.

Frickin loves to booty-pop to anything. My mans drops it low. 

Gets angry when people try to make him drink water. He’s literally like this vid of the dude spitting his drink at his friend like one of those bath toys.  

Hinata

Level 1 Drunk consists of her getting even quieter and even redder than usual. She’s embarrassed to be drunk and thinks she’s being judged. Kiba and Shino know this, so they get her to Level 2 Drunk, which is when she’s too fucked up to care and can finally let loose a little. 

She’s kind of a wild card when she’s drunk enough to do abnormal things. Sometimes she confesses her weird secrets (such as definitely training herself to love ramen, even though her baseline is just that it’s ok, but a little salty); sometimes she gets uncomfortably deep; sometimes she just sits there with her Byakugan activated. 

Legit will sit with her eyes clothes, in her own world, swaying to music that may or may not be playing. 

Throws up often, but quietly and without drawing attention. 

Shino

Hates being drunk in big groups. He really won’t do it unless he’s at home or somewhere safe with Hinata and Kiba. Otherwise he gets all weird and twitchy. 

Shino is the kind of drunk who is very, very good at hiding the fact that he’s fucked up. Like, he’ll go all night with his team and the next day Kiba will bring up something Shino said and he’ll have zero recollection of that happening. 

Lowkey is a huge savage when he’s drunk. He voices all of those mean inner thoughts that he definitely (and, tbh, rightfully) has. 

Spills everywhere!! Mess!

Shikamaru

Has a strong preference for whiskey. He drinks it on the rocks, and has always done this. It’s what his mom drinks, so he just copied her because it looked cool and now he has a taste for it. 

He’s relaxed enough to drop the totally disinterested facade. This sounds like an oxymoron, but he’s just comfortable enough to show that he gives a damn about whatever he’s talking about. 

I say whatever he’s talking about because drunk Shikamaru dominates conversations. Kiba, who never really inspected him closely enough to recognize he has brain cells, was genuinely surprised that Shikamaru knew so many words the first time they were drunk together. 

Doesn’t like to get deep when he’s drunk unless he’s with his team or with an s/o. 

Ino

Ugh little lush. I love her. And Ino loves to be drunk. 

I think she likes white wine the best and chooses to stick to it once she gets old enough to decide hard liquor just is not it for her. 

Ino thinks she’s the funniest person in the world when she’s drunk. She will frequently ask, “Why don’t we have a show, you guys?” 

She can also just flip a switch and go total mom friend, though. If someone seems to not be doing so well, she can suddenly function at a much higher level. Ino is always the one to notice if Hinata needs to have a nice little vomit. 

Choji

Gets sooo giggly. It’s adorable. He’s just happy to be here, coach, and happy to be drinking with his friends. 

He’s kind of a lightweight for his size lmao. Also, baby boy loves the fruity drinks. He’s very confident in himself and his masculinity; why would he drink something that tastes bad to prove something to Shikamaru, who was born liking straight whiskey? No, thanks. 

Drunk Choji agrees with Ino in that they should absolutely have a tv show. They’re obviously comedy gold. 

Volunteers waaaay too much information. He’s just…so, so honest…as soon as a drop of alcohol enters his system. That’s why all of the Konoha kids know how long he is a virgin; he informs them monthly on the status. 

Neji

The third and final true savage of the pack. He’s a straight-up animal. Remember the chunin exams? Thirteen-year-old, sober, angry Neji came up with all of that very accurate and somewhat hurtful shit. Drunk, jaded, older Neji can come up with much worse, especially because he’s gotten some more humor injected in there as well. It’s horribly accurate and then everyone will laugh at what he said. 

Picks fights with Sasuke sometimes. He’s just so fucking annoying, man. If Neji can be normal in mixed company, so can he, god damn it. 

Gets really, really competitive. Sometimes he’ll take Naruto up on challenges on behalf of Lee. 

Neji only eats junk food when he’s drunk. It is always a night of indulgence, meaning he doesn’t do it super often. Tenten usually has to bully him into joining her (and then she has to bully Lee). 

Tenten

Just bodies shots like it’s nothing. She takes shots of the nastiest shit and her face doesn’t change. She started out like that in her quest to emulate Tsunade, then she just got a taste for it. 

Usually tries to do damage control with the dumbass “challenges” Naruto gets up to with her teammates. Sometimes, though, she’ll just join in herself to prove she can beat them all. And she can. 

Sings her fucking heart out. Take her to a karaoke bar. Please. 

Suuuuper supportive. If someone gets in their feelings too much, she’s there to help them out and bring the mood back up. She’s here for a good time!

Rock Lee

Rarely, rarely drinks. His body is a temple, for one thing. And for another thing, he can’t finish a whole drink and everyone roasts the shit out of him.

Genuinely tries to hold back with the drunken fist stuff, but Naruto won’t stop challenging him! He turns into an agent of chaos. 

Has written so, so many apology letters to different establishments and friends for destroying property. They are often tearstained and so sincere that he has never been asked to pay for damages. 

Makes a lot of drunk impulse purchases. And if all the stores are closed, he’ll end up just picking flowers from yards as he walks by. He never goes home empty-handed. 

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Man Up 4: The Donnyest Game”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Yup, he's back.

The epic Man Up saga gets yet another episode, turning the trilogy into a tetralogy, putting it in the same category as the Shrek series. I'd argue the quality is very similar, at least in my opinion. The second one was better than the first, one of the rare sequels that was better in every way, and the third one was just horrific. It was so horrific that I didn't even want to watch the fourth one, but somebody once told me that the world was going to roll me and The Final Chapter was better than the third.

I could talk about the Shrek films all day, but I don't think that's what you came here for. Maybe I'm just trying to delay the inevitable, since the very first character we see in this episode is...

...oh boy, Donny. I was sort of hoping that Donny in the title wasn’t referring to the comic relief, as unlikely as that would be. At least they continue the cruelty streak with him that started with Total Eclipse of the Kart, as he struggles to open a jar of strawberry jam without getting it all over himself and getting covered with ants. It's not that it isn't deserved. The Powerpuff Girls, who normally help other people with jars, don't seem to want to help, though Bubbles does give this lovely advice.

Bubbles: Stop, drop, and roll, Donny!

The joke is that he's not on fire, you silly goose! Get ready, because there's a lot of jokes like this. While all of this jam related insanity is happening, a familiar face is hiding in the bushes.

Because this is a part of the Man Up tetralogy, we get the one thing that linked all of them, and the only thing that linked all of them: the villain is Manboy, a man man man man who wants to prove that he is a man man man man by doing man man man man things. The most man man man man thing in this episode is to beat up this majestic unicorn. See, it's ironic, because this majestic horned pony is getting annihilated by ants. Or, "ant-nilhilated" as Donny puts it. He's trying. Oh McCracken, he's trying.

I'm surprised they didn't leave a pause between that pun and Blossom talking about the B-plot of this episode. She doesn't want to waste any time, because they have one hour before they have to participate in the Utonium Strawberry Picking Contest.

The winner gets their photo on the fridge, along with a photo showing the "4th year strawberry champ", which happens to be Blossom! Before I can ramble on about how this show's sense of time is out of whack, I can say that the episode proves that this is not referring to Blossom being the 4th consecutive winner of the strawberry picking contest, but the winner of the 4th year this contest was held. Then again, who would have participated in the 1st? Jojo back when he was a monkey? I'm putting way too much thought into this, am I?

Donny is super intrigued by this grand prize, as if the winds of destiny were whispering "Danny". Bubbles has to slowly move her Finn-faced head in to remind him that his name is Donny, in another amazing joke for this comic relief character.

Buttercup, that rascal, tells Donny he doesn't have a good shot at being the champion of giving Sitcom Dad his sweet, sweet free strawberries, but Bubbles comes in to defend her best friend.

Bubbles: It's okay, Don-Bon! You may not be the best strawberry hunter, but you’re still my best friend!

Yeah, great pep talk, Bubbles. Yeah, Donny is terrible at absolutely everything, but at least he's Bubbles' best friend because he has a great personality he doesn't treat his old friends like dirt when he makes new ones he's a unicorn! Donny seems to take it okay, at least.

Suddenly, Blossom gets a call from the Mayor that the Blimp Shrimp is on the loose, reminding us all that the Powerpuff Girls do indeed save the world before bedtime and aren't just strawberry pickers that can fly. There really isn't much else; we don't even get to see this Blimp Shrimp; I guess we're supposed to just find rhyming funny. It's not really on the money.

Well, there is one reason: it's so Donny can do something that isn't very bright, since he can't seem to use his common sense without the girls to guide him. While he’s hunting for strawberries using his strategy of saying he will not be distracted, he sees a churro on a napkin. This napkin happens to be right next to a lasso hanging off of a tree! He can't fall for this.

(Johnny Test Whip Crack)

At least, that's what Manboy thought. Manboy is bewildered by this specimen, as not only does he not look like the unicorn in his purple guidebook, he fell for the very first trap he put up! You'd think he would know all of this, since he was clearly looking at him getting defeated by ants.

Man Boy: It says here that unicorns are incredibly powerful, are experts at camouflage, and are capable of tracking their opponents across many miles! That doesn't really sound like you!

Donny: I know! I sound more like, "Hi, my name's Donny! D-O-N-N-Y!"

I am so glad to say this is the last time he appears this season. They couldn’t even be consistent with him not knowing his name. They could have at least had him misspell it. Actually, they shouldn’t. Manboy, finding no pleasure in beating up such a weakling, offers him some training that would turn him into a commando. “A strawberry commando?”, Donny asks, and Manboy just rolls with it.

So Manboy trains his own opponent through many tasks, like jumping across cliffs, catching fish, doing pull-ups over a fire, and a few other. This training montage is played a bit too straight to be that funny, but it does have this song about how montages are only here to speed things up. No, really.

Bet you can't guess what's happening here Time is of the essence, so we'll make it clear We only got a minute for a montage song Because this episode is ten minutes long

A montage is happenin'!

I am not going to lie, it's kind of catchy, and at least it gives a scene some sort of a joke.

There is one other thing: there's a scene where Donny gets taken away by what is unmistakably a bald eagle. Later, after he starts getting the hang of being a manly unicorn, he punches that eagle right in the face without even a hit flash. I don’t even know what to say.

After his training and his somewhat justified violence against the national bird of the country this takes place in, or at least it was in the original, he ends up becoming a Rambo-like muscled hero, looking almost exactly like the picture in that purple guidebook. I always wanted to see Donny get the Musclecup treatment, said no one ever. Thanks to this training, Donny stops telling bad jokes all the time and now speaks only in gruff action hero lines. Not sure if I would consider that an improvement.

Manboy: Okay, unicorn! It's time to play the most dangerous game...and you're it!

...so he wants to play a children's playground game with him? That is the conclusion one would expect Donny to consider with that line, but how else would somebody interpret that? I think he may have forgotten a sentence.

Suddenly, Donny starts shooting horn lasers at him. He tries, for the only time in the entire episode, to use his man man man man beard powers, but they get lasered off. Much like the Reboot Puffs in certain episodes, Manboy just knows that a punch would not be able to stop him, and just runs away.

Speaking of the Reboot Puffs, we do get a peek back at the B-plot, and I really mean a peek, because there's almost nothing here. After Sitcom Dad reiterates how this strawberry picking contest's prize is that fabled picture on the fridge, Buttercup boasts that she is for sure that she'll win this time. She has a secret weapon: a dust buster. Bubbles asks if she really learned nothing from that time she used a vacuum cleaner last year.

Insert cutaway gag where Buttercup chases triple chin Ranger Smith with a vacuum cleaner. Honestly, Bubbles should have just stopped at asking if she really has learned nothing, because the answer is usually yes.

Most of this episode is just Manboy getting chased by the Muscled Hellhorn, sometimes hiding in a bush to avoid him. Donny slowly walks, yelling out to Manboy to come out, come out, where ever he is. This is the big irony; he's this big and strong manly man, and he's getting chased away by a sparkly unicorn...who is also a big and strong manly man. I think the muscles and action movie one liners really lessen this.

Buttercup shows up to suck up some strawberries with her dust buster, and she unintentionally sucks up the bush Manboy was hiding in. Hey, something that actually ties the Donny chasing after Manboy plot with the strawberry plot! Unfortunately, that's the only time the two plots really converge; Donny doesn't even seem to be interested in the strawberries in any of these scenes.

As for those strawberries, the next time we see a Powerpuff Girl is when the episode suddenly cuts to a scene where Blossom is picky about what strawberries she puts in her basket. At least that kind of fits her character, even if that seems to sabotage her plans to win. Sitcom Dad outright said the person with the most strawberries wins that coveted photo on the fridge. Honestly, that's really it for the strawberry plot until the end, and no attempt is made to connect this scene with anything else.

It's just more Donny from here on out. If there's any kind of progression, at least the training montage made him a little more competent at dodging traps. He easily dodges an arrow trap, and just walks through a fallen tree. The closest thing to an action scene in this entire episode, really. Eventually something's got to break this new character of his, and it's going to take more than a napkin with a churro on it.

Oh no, it takes a napkin with two churros to make him fall into a trap! He even reverts back to his usual voice just to yell out his love for churros. Manboy shows up that he finally bested this majestic and powerful unicorn...even though he not once tried to lay a finger on him like he said he was going to do. I guess he would take any victory at this point.

Unfortunately for Manboy, that victory doesn't last. Somehow, Donny managed to set up a trap of his own, as Manboy ends up walking backwards, stepping onto a green button, which covers him in strawberry jam. At least that strawberry jam scene from the opening has a point, as he then gets to succumb to the ants.

And not just ants, either, but he also ends up running into a beehive. It doesn't entirely reference the infamous Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man, but we do get this line, which is almost as good:

Manboy: Oh my god! Bees! Bees! Gyaaah!

Okay, he says gosh, but that's not what I heard. Then he gets attacked by a shark, because random. Eventually, he does end up going into a river, which does cleanse him from the jam, the ants, the bees, and the shark. This river ends up going into a waterfall, and then goes into another waterfall. Both times, they have to point out where Manboy is with a giant yellow beeping arrow, as if the context wasn't clear enough. This scene was enjoyable, but that might be because this is the best beating Manboy ever gotten.

And now, the required "I'm so sorry I was such a doofus" scene, though we usually don't see it from a villain. Donny somehow managed to get out of the cage and run all the way down to the bottom of the twin waterfalls to confront Manboy. I honestly stopped questioning such things; maybe it's that same kind of unicorn magic that allows him to poof tickets to ice skating shows.

Donny doesn't accept this apology, and does what he wanted to do as a person who was called "It."

Donny: Tag, you're it! Now you'll have to chase me-e-e-e-e-e!

The conclusion one would expect Donny to consider with that "and you're it" line is exactly what happens. One might ask, if this was Donny's idea of playing tag, why was he trying to horn laser him? The answer, much like most other questions one could ask about this reboot, is pineapples.

Manboy, in his anger, finally decides to lunge right towards Donny to possibly fulfill his promise to beat up a unicorn. Donny moves his neck slightly to make him miss and hit a tree instead. Yeah, it wasn't as cool as when Blossom did that in the original.

In the end, they finally tie this all up with that strawberry plot I completely forgot about, since it barely shows up. Blossom has her pretty pile, Buttercup accidentally sucked up the park ranger, and Bubbles ate the strawberries she found. Since she's best friends with a character who is well established in this episode to be not too bright, Bubbles can't be too far off, you see.

Donny shows up with that tree Manboy ran into, and it turned out to be a strawberry tree. His muscular physique is suddenly gone for no reason whatsoever. Why shouldn't they just have him stay muscular at the end of the episode? The status quo never seems to bother them.

The Professor decides to give Donny that fabled photo on the fridge he always wanted, right next to a fridge magnet of a poorly drawn Texas. Yee haw. Yeah, I can't think of a better ending for this.

Does the title fit?

Sadly, yes, at least with the Donnyest Game. I guess Donny being made more "manly" does sort of continue with Man Up 3's themes, but that's as close as we get.

How does it stack up?

Out of all the Donny-focused episodes, this is the best Donny one by the virtue of having not as much to complain about. He’s not constantly whining and being an absolutely terrible analogy the writers had to deny. He’s not being a terrible friend by ditching him for a total stranger who happened to have glitter and crayons. The episode doesn’t prop him up as this incredibly important character while the characters we should be caring about are getting their butts kicked. Most importantly, it’s not Bubbs and Donny Get The Mail.

However, there really isn't much to praise, either. The strawberry plot doesn't really go anywhere beyond a cutaway gag, and this episode doesn't change my opinion on Manboy or Donny as characters. I don't hate this episode, but I didn't really want to re-watch it.

Next, another episode where a villain cowers in fear over a cutesy character. Will it be any better than this one?

← Watch It! ☆ The Oct-Father →

[trainedarmodon]

What I'd Play at GP Richmond

First I'll start by saying I haven't been able to think of anything interesting to write about recently. I was going to write the follow-up to my previous Tron article on why control was bad in Modern. But unfortunately Gerry T beat me to it and I agree with all of his points to where I don't believe another similar article needs to be written. Then I was busy with GP Providence and SCG Baltimore prep. But now I'm back and I'm discussing something I'm dying to talk about.

As the title gives away I unfortunately won't get to make it to GP Richmond. I wasn't able to secure the time off of work to go down and unlike every other tournament when I can just drive down the Friday before the GP starts, the format I care about starts on Friday. But not being able to go hasn't stopped me from spending some time thinking of the list I think I could of used to win the whole thing.

What to Expect?

Before I go into detail about my list however let's go over what I expect the metagame to be at Richmond. Obviously with Legacy people will bring their pet decks that they've been playing for years but for the people trying to make a meta call and adjust to what's been happening in the format recently I expect three decks to be represented more than most with two others not to far behind.

1. UB Death Shadow

The break out deck of Pro Tour 25, this deck has been seeing a lot of play on MTGO ever since. This is the tempo-yist Delver deck available right not it does the tempo game better than RUG due to its much harder to answer threats But what makes it better than many other decks is its power to switch roles when needed as it can play the control role extremely well if it's initial plan is being hampered.

2. Colorless Eldrazi

This is by far the best Chalice deck at the moment because of the pressure it applies after locking the opponent out. Also with less to almost no 4 color decks being present anymore the value of Blood Moon and therefore Mono-R Prison has gone down.

3. Death and Taxes

This deck is a great entry point for the format and with its most recent success I expect lots of players to choose this one for Richmond. Obviously it helps that this deck is also very good right now as it can be adjusted for any field.

I expect the next two decks to see significantly less play but still have their fair share of the metagame percentage.

1. Grixis Control

Honestly in my opinion this deck isn't very good and I'd much rather play Grixis Delver in the "Sukenik" style. But a lot of great and well known players usually pick decks that give them an edge when they are the better player at the table and Grixis Control does just that.

2. Sneak and Show

Traditional 8 put into play effect and 8 Fatty package of Emrakul, the Aeon’s Torn and Griselbrand. Straight to the point sneak and show which no one currently seems to agree with me on. I think Omniscence has lost a lot of stock as a card. When all the other top deck options can grind a game out when necessary the Show and Tell player just needs to end the game and not durdle around.

Choices, Choices Everywhere

Now enough of what I expect, time to show you where I ended up if I was able to attend.

4 Stoneforge Mystic

3 Snapcaster Mage

4 True-Name Nemesis

2 Jace, The Mind Sculptor

2 Blood Moon

1 Umezawa’s Jitte

1 Batterskull

4 Brainstorm

4 Ponder

4 Force of Will

2 Spell Pierce

2 Pyroblast

4 Swords to Plowshares

1 Council’s Judgement

1 Supreme Verdict

4 Flooded Strand

4 Scalding Tarn

1 Arid Mesa

1 Volcanic Island

1 Tundra

1 Karakas

3 Plains

5 Island

1 Mountain

Sideboard

2 Surgical Extraction

2 Flusterstorm

2 Disenchant

2 Meddling Mage

2 Containment Priest

1 Sword of Feast and Famine

1 Council’s Judgement

1 Dack Fayden

1 Supreme Verdict

1 Gideon, Ally of Zendikar

Explanations

Now I know there are some things that stand out immediately but I will be going over the decklist card by card.

4 Stoneforge Mystic

Wouldn't be Stoneblade without it.

3 Snapcaster Mage

I believe 3 is just the correct number if the game is dragging on long enough that you need the 4th to get back into it you've more than likely lost already. And if you're already ahead any card can do just as much as another Snappy.

4 True-Name Nemesis

First of the rather strange choices. I'll start by saying I think Vendilion Clique is overplayed, overcosted for it's effect and underwhelming. I believe this deck needs to close out the game quickly after establishing control. We are a midrange deck after all. Playing the 4th hard to answer threat just makes sense especially when we can make up the percentage points for our combo matchups in other ways.

2 Jace, The Mind Sculptor

Typical number. You don't want to draw to many 4 man sourcerys that don't immediately win you the game. But Jace is the most powerful Planeswalker in legacy so we have to play him because he gets pretty close to winning the game even if he doesn't outright do so.

2 Blood Moon

As I mentioned before the value of Blood moon has gone down significantly since before the bans. So if people are expecting less and less of this card that is the time to play it. The likelihood of people being prepared is lower meaning the chance of just getting free wins in higher. Also this card completely locks out UB Shadow which is better then Back to Basics because of how cheap all of the answers and threats are in that deck. It also completely shuts down Eldrazi, Lands, and unless it was played around Grixis Control. Shutting down three of your tougher matchups is good enough for me.

1 Umezawa’s Jitte + 1 Batterskull

Usual equipment package I don’t think Sword of Fire and Ice is actually very good right now in anything other then the D&T matchup where Jitte already is good enough.

4 Brainstorm + 4 Ponder

Usual cantrip package, haven’t tested any number of Preordain yet and most likely won’t as I don’t play enough to see the marginal percentage gains or losses.

4 Force of Will + 2 Spell Pierce

Usually 4 Force for the unfair matchups. Now for Spell Pierce, I’m playing 2 instead of the usual 1 because I cut the Clique so we needed an extra card for combo decks and also with the growing popularity of Grixis control K-Command is reentering the format. Paying 5 for K-Command while possible is rather unlikely and I feel we can take game 1 against Grixis as long as we avoid the complete blowouts. I also chose a second Pierce over the 1st Fluster main because of Jace. A resolved Jace is so hard for our deck to beat with usual lists only running 1 or 2 answers main and if the opposing Jace gets to activate twice we are probably just dead. So the easiest way to deal with it is before it hits the board.

0 Counterspell + 2 Pyroblast

Time for probably the most situational and tournament specific decision. I chose to put 2 Pyroblasts main instead of the usual Counterspell because out of the 5 top decks I expect this card has game against 3 of them. Shadow, Grixis and Sneak and Show. Pyro is also obviously good against any blue mirror as well so there are a lot of other matchups it's also good in. Another reason I really like Pyro main is it gives us 2 more clean answers to an opposing Jace or True-Name which by far are the hardest cards for our deck to deal with.

4 Swords to Plowshares

Don’t play white if you aren't playing 4 Swords.

1 Council’s Judgment

Answer to Chalice, Trinisphere, Planeswalkers, TNN, Leovold and much much more. I was playing 2 but with the 2 Pyros main I felt it was ok to cut to 1.

1 Supreme Verdict

Another argumentative chose where I’ve seen others play a Path to Exile instead. I feel that path is just terrible if you want to go either the Blood Moon or Back To Basics route. I also like Verdict because it gives you a 1 outer in a lot of situation you would usually be dead. Facing a Shadow and Gurmag and they are holding counter…GOTTEM. Chalice on 1 against 3 Eldrazi....GOTTEM. And so on.

1 Basic Mountain

We have red cards main and need a reliable source of mana that can be found in the face of Wasteland

Sideboard

2 Surgical Extraction

Usual choice, very good in a lot of combo matchups.I think 2 of these is enough since we also play Snappy.

2 Flusterstorm

Good in combo matchups and fair blue mirrors. Two is more then enough since after all it can’t answer every threat but it is still insane.

2 Disenchant

Chalice, Trinisphere, Ensnaring Bridge, Search, Counterbalance, Jitte, Batterskull and the list goes on.

2 Meddling Mage

More for testing then anything but like I said I don’t value Clique very highly meaning we need more cards for combo matchups and this card does work.

2 Containment Priest

Reanimator matchup, Elves any Zenith deck, Sneak and Show and Vial decks although I usually don’t bring it in much against those.

1 Sword of Feast and Famine

Shadow and Grixis. Allows you to play the control role while constantly deploying threats.

1 Council’s Judgment

More of what I said before. An extra one just in case, you can never be to prepared.

1 Dack Fayden

Grindy Matchups, the Mirror and Death and Taxes. It’s spicy I know but it feels so strong.

1 Supreme Verdict

Gotta have a backup plan for your backup plan.

1 Gideon, Ally of Zendikar

Insane in grindy matchups and also good for making ground blockers when that is relevant like with Eldrazi. Just sit back and keep making dudes till your opponent dies.

And that is the abnormal list I would of played this weekend at GP Richmond. Hopefully this can be useful to someone there as a last minute swap or after the tournament is done to see how this would fair against the decks that came out of the tournament.

[thetimelessdreams]

Katharsis

Part 3 of my interesting imagination. Song included.

Next time I will write about their father.

___

After the crime Khaos did, we were finally alone, so I teleported with him. Some might see it as a big mistake, not going to lie here...

- How dare you Khaos? How could you kill a child!?

- Katharsis, shut up!

- Why?

- Cause you had to interrupt me and my plan, idiot!

- You still killed the boy before anyone can think straight!

- Of course, favourite one, what do you even know about me? - He asked me, his brother such a silly question?!

- I know more than you think, I've lived with you more than anyone else did. Neither our Earth parents nor our real ones. I wish to help you stop killing innocent people. Tracking you in the times and universes is a bit harder than you might think, Khaos.

- Screw our Earth parents...these hungry for money rats...

- Business is hard here.

- It sure is. But we were required to have parents. It meant studying how the world looks at schools.

Then we stared at ourselves and Khaos asked me if I wanted to drink a cup of tea with him. Of course, I'd agree, I love this beverage. I've always adored this drink, it's not addictive like drugs or alcohol.

- So, Kath, we've been living independently for a year now. Wanna do a recap?

- Yes, you changed 8 lives, killed 3, destroyed 5 dreams and most importantly, you were stressing me out.

- I love you too brother.

- Yeah, right...

- Oh come on, Kath, you remember when you were the bad one, I've always wanted to be like you. That's why I copy you so damn much.

- Wow, it seems like I am the older one now, huh?

- I've never been the older one. You were. After all, the goofy side you have was to make me feel more at home. Wasn't it?

- Mature, not at all, Khaos, but yes, being goofy was to make you respect me. Growing up, I was the more scared one, so I became the opposite of myself, just to resemble you. You seemed so courageous, but at one point we separated. You began to spend time with our father, the businessman, who wanted to get the talent from you. I heard how he talked to mother, about your creativity, he was glad, that you were growing up like him, and not like some artist, he recruited back in the day. Unlike me, I was with mom most of the time, playing games and going out with my classmates. They are great friends and I kept them. But you didn't have a childhood. Last year, while we were both 18, we decided to be together again. We'd changed as people and hardly recognized ourselves. But see, now you are so peaceful, even though, you are still a damn liar!

Khaos's gift is far from what dad expected. Khaos was a big liar, a great son to never be proud of, but dad made him a well-behaved lad.

- That artist, I always made him think and dream about killing our father. For a good cause of course.

- Why?

- It seemed like the better thing, as I felt that I became like our father, lying bastard, who tricked everyone, including us.

Then Khaos turned to become a disaster for both him and me. Even I couldn't predict the outcome of this outrageous boy. Though I had the power to see what might occur next, I didn't use it. Damn Kath. How can I be so dumb? I can sense him getting insane from greed and envy. Khaos. Is. Uncontrollable.