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archivedatl · 17 years ago

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Old Blogs

Howdy. I’ve noticed some concern over the loss of my old blogs here n’ there so I decided to post all of them in one large, comprehensive blog-a-verse. Hope this brings a smile to a few faces. Our Street Corners Keep Secrets This is me asking for a brick to be thrown through my window, a message attached that reads, "Why can’t you just wake up?" I am not a star, don’t look up to me in hopes of finding something more. That which is out of reach does not promise anyone a goddamn thing. Hope arises in possibility, but possiblity is fragmented and selfish, so don’t think for a second that I am safe ground to walk on. I will sink beneath the feet of a thousand travelling companions, and make ruin of any city’s foundations, because concrete and steel can never tell a soul how it feels. Our street corners keep secrets, and our road signs only suggest, never deciding for us, never knowing if the destination to which they lead, is where we truely belong. Life’s greatest tragedy is not that it will some day end, but that most of us just live to follow directions, and many times we end up totally lost. I am a landmine. Sometimes I break down so hard you can hear it, and when I can stand to come near it with means to repair, the chances of walking out unscathed are slim to none. I know because I’m one; a victim of second-hand breakdowns and bad impressions, made under intoxicated conditions with poorly lit expressions. And I regret not going back, I regret not missing flights, I regret not asking for more and taking chances that I can only hope will not be forgotten. My fingers are crossed.  I-O-U.  Now my telephone’s dead and I can’t stand to hold out like this, but I’m constantly checking myself so as not to be a burden. Anything too heavy eventually gets dropped, no matter the cost. Let me be light as a feather, but valued enough so as to remain in a back pocket, until those jeans need washing and I find my place on a bedside table, to be read aloud on nights when memories and prying needs return to haunt the foundations of this room.  Pick me up, Read me every now and then, I won’t disappoint. *I am* witty and engaging so bless me with attention, because I’m *dying* for attention *without* any means of telling *you*. I’ll talk the talk, you take care of the rest. What up thugs?  I’m alive and well, realizing how eternally grateful I am for everything going on in my life day by day... Its a lot like learning to walk - at least, that’s how I’d like to think of it. We’ve all been there, so I won’t waste your time painting a pretty picture of how it all goes down... I want to talk about other things... First and foremost, I’ve come to understand that as of late there have been a lot of people finding this little piece of my life tucked away on the web; moreso than usual, and for that reason, I’d like to extend my proverbial hand to anyone and everyone who may have something - anything to say to me. Thank you for taking an interest in who I am and what I’m attempting to do with my life. I am opening myself up, as much as possible, to anyone who may be interested. All I ask is that whoever you may be, wherever you may be, understand that I am only human - two hands, ten fingers, and a life... I’ve received a few messages from people, upset that I haven’t been able to respond to their previous comments or private messages, and who now probably think less of me for it. I hope this isn’t the case, but its bound to happen. What I’m saying is that I don’t live my life on the internet... I’m sorry if there’s a message I never got around to responding to... I’m just not that good at keeping up with reality, let alone a virtual one. I will, however, try harder from now on... And understand that even if I don’t respond, I probably have read your message. I don’t just clear my inbox and move on. Thats plain rude. :)  To all my good friends, the ones I should talk to more often, the ones I left back home, the ones I will never stop loving, thank you for still hugging me when I come home... I know I don’t always show it, but I’m forever indebted to you all for everything you’ve ever done for me...  That brings me to my second point. The closest friends you’ll ever have are the ones you’d take a bullet for, but they’re the ones you constantly feel you could put a bullet in as well. ;)  Think about that one.  That’s it for now. I can’t believe I’m up at 5:14am. Touring has made me an insomniac, but I feel fucking great.  Have a good one y’all,  Me Lawyers and Liars I am a liar. I am self absorbed. I am in this for me. I am seeking recognition. I am not concerned with politics. I am attempting to rise to the top. I am never going to forget my intentions. I am allowed to worry about my own life above the lives of others.  -------AFTER ALL---------  I am human. Part Deux: Colors, Sounds and Feather-Downs  Current mood: happy I had a long, goofy conversation several weeks ago with an interesting girl who I haven’t seen since, in a diner I have yet to revisit, but it stirred up some thoughts that I found pretty interesting. Maybe I’m just nuts. Anyhow, the discussion began on a simple basis; I inquired as to what her favorite color might be. She said she didn’t know. I replied, "How can you not know? Its a simple question." -- She paused, looking sort of surprised, as if someone had never pressed her for an answer before, and then replied, "Well... It changes... Today its yellow."  I didn’t know what to say... I didn’t understand.  How can your favorite color just change? What happened to yesterday’s favorite color? If, on a whim, something of such esteem and value can be replaced with another, then on what grounds was it ever of any more value to begin with? When I was little, my favorite color was green. It stayed that way, no matter what I said to be trendy at the time (IE. 8th grade was my "black is such a raw and expressive pigment" phase, but everyone goes through that shit.) As of late, I’ve become more partial to blue - Light blue in particular, but that’s not that important. My point is that something happened that caused me to send green packing, and to fall absolutely head-over-heels for blue. (Stay with me on this...) Now, such a dramatic change in attraction doesn’t just happen - I mean shit, I know we’re only talking about colors here, but this kind of switch-a-roo has only happened ONCE in my entire life. Green ---> Blue. Just like that. Must mean somthing, right? Pablo Picasso went through a "blue period", at which time he was broke and mourning the loss of a dear friend. There’s a similarity there somewhere. Please don’t get me wrong, I am by no means depressed, nor do I have any reason to be, but perhaps color - every, individual hue, represents to each of us a state of being, and in turn, helps us to deal with whatever it is we may be going through. I’m not talking mood-ring shit here. What I mean is that there are things - simple things - that without our knowing, mean the world to us and when they change, they change for our own good, because whether we like it or not, we are looking out for ourselves. We do it unconsciously - But we do it. We do it to stay happy and to stay alive... And above all else, that’s what matters. On this note, I’d like to attempt to make my point - Don’t throw yourself out on another’s whim. People change, as do intentions and as a result, consequences. Live for yourself - love those around you, but realize that they’ve got their own agendas. People will screw you - You will screw people... Green ---> Blue. Get it? I’m not sure I do... Always consider that your life will venture in new directions, but be aware that other’s will do the same, and in accordance, understand that to be happy, people must exist in their own light, cast in and of themselves, not by the light of their peers. Conflict will arise because of this. Conflict is to be expected; conflict is a part of life. Find ways to work through conflict, even if it means picking a new favorite color...   I hope this makes a little sense.   I’m tired and rambling, and perhaps just a misguided fool, but I think there’s something in this - something that I am learning and accepting as my fingers punch these keys to an inviting, hypnotic rhythm. I feel like they’re leading me somewhere, and I’ve decided to follow.  ____I’m going to bed. Take from this what you will.  Love,  Alexander William Gaskarth  *I feel fine* The first of many, I hope.  Current mood: happy So I’ve decided to spill it; the beans, the juice, my guts... Whatever you want to call it, consider it spilled. Up to this point, I feel like I’ve done an excellent job of keeping just about everything true about myself, to myself... and for good reason - what people don’t know, people can’t use against you. I guess that’s my first confession. I fucking despise the way people operate. The way people go out of their way to find things out, only to throw them senselessly (BLINDLY) into conversation later. I don’t know if its intentional, (I guess that sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t,) but frankly, it gets to me. Its the same kind of prying aggravation I feel when someone starts moving shit around in my car, or on my computer table. Stop putting hills in my rugs! Please. Call me OCD but if I put something somewhere, chances are, I wanted it there and it should remain that way. Its the same for anyone else. Let one’s own business remain that way. Anyway. I’ve fallen into a depression lately - not emotionally per say, but I feel like my ability to open up to people has peaked over the past two years. I used to be so ready to say anything, without caring how it affected me, but recently I’ve become so protective of myself, not because I’m afraid of getting hurt by others, but because I might make myself look bad. It’s disgusting. I never used to be so self-absorbed. Its like in every situation, I’m wearing a mask... Not just one mask, in fact, but many masks; Masks to hide masks between people - to hide certain sides of myself from those who disapprove where others don’t. I try so hard to win the approval of everyone. Why? Fucked if I know. I just love being the center of attention I guess. And all this time I thought myself to be humble. No sir. But then, who really is humble? Everyone wants to be loved, right? So am I wrong in looking out for my own well being? Who knows? It makes me sick to my stomach, regardless. I’ve unknowingly stumbled across so many insecurities lately that I feel like a different person at times. It’s like I’ve been born all over again, to a world where I have to carry myself differently. I’m still opinionated, I’m still eagerly in search of answers, but my motives have changed. I do it for myself now; for the praise and admiration I earn as a result of my actions, not for the simple pleasure found in just "doing it". Maybe its all just part of growing up, as they say. Maturing... You know? But does it continue to change? Will I stop acting like such an asshole? Who knows. It worries me. I don’t want to be like this, but its who I’ve become... What’s worse is that I don’t know who or what to blame for the transformation. That would be too easy, right? I digress. I’ve got a lot of things on my plate. My dreams are coming true right before my very eyes - I have a band - We’re going somewhere - This time next year I hope I’m far, far away from this place. I want to see Japan. I’ve wanted to see Japan for a while now; call it a calling. Haha. I don’t know what I want when I get there - I don’t even like the hustle of big cities for too long. Gives me a headache. But there’s something about it. I’ll see it soon enough. The repetition of every day life kills. It ruins the flow of my creative juices. No joke. On days that I sleep in, I go to bed feeling exhausted, and yet, I never sleep on the weekends, when I should want rest. I don’t. It would be a waste of freedom. Why spend time on parole in seclusion, you know? I’m only tired on weekdays - only when I know I have to drag myself out of my fucking room to take a shower and go to school, and then to work. Maybe I’m not tired. Maybe it’s just a natural defense against running myself into the ground with routine. I feel pale, and sick, and run down... For no reason. I eat right. I see the light of day. I breathe fresh air all the time. I love the outdoors. Shit. I love my life. But between Monday and Thursday I feel so transient... My head isn’t in the clouds - My feet aren’t on the ground. Where am I? I don’t know, but frankly, it sucks. I have some good friends. We get hammered sometimes and forget about everything. The occasional dramatic scene is worth it. People naturally don’t get along with one another. It’s all a matter of how tolerant people are. I have some tolerant friends. In turn, I think I put up with my share of bullshit. It’s like a cycle of tough loving. But it works. It keeps me sane. In the end I think we really do love each other. Awww. I also like to kiss people. It gets me into trouble sometimes. Whatever. Certain individuals need to stop looking for love in the wrong places. --I can’t talk. --I’ve found love in the worst places. --Its not an easy thing to deal with. --Doesn’t change the way I feel about them. --Its ok. --As long as I��m happy. There I go being selfish again. ___I’m done confessing for now. Take from this what you will. Love, Alexander William Gaskarth *I feel better.*

#Alex Gaskarth #2008 #So Wrong It's Right #MySpace #blog #text #ap tour

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xxconclusione-aperioxx · 4 years ago

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Okay so I'd like to share what I commented on this video. I watched it and it sent me into a whole rant about the motives and characterization of Draco. I recommend watching before reading this:

@quinncurio is the original poster

Here's the copy paste of my comment/ Essay. I was slight heated when I wrote this, but my points still stand.

"OH BOY. HI, HELLO I VERY MUCH DISAGREE. ALSO: DISCLAIMER: DONT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, YOU WILL FIND I HAVE A VERY LOGICAL EXPLANATION, FOR WHY THIS ANALYSIS DOESN'T WORK.

Calling a Draco a cowardly bigoted bully, and a carbon copy of Dudley is the most SHALLOW and LOW EFFORT CONCLUSION YOU COULD POSSIBLY DRAW. IT IS LOW HANGING FRUIT. I'm going to have to break this into sections to truly explain why your conclusion is soooo incredibly shallow. You may have done your research, but I feel like you learned nothing more about Draco then if you'd never seen more then 5 min. So I'm going to start the same way you have and break this down into the same points.

PART 1 : AN ANALYSIS OF HARRY MEETING DRACO

I'm not going to go into detail of Harry's impression or ideas of Draco, because this analysis is about Draco, Not Harry. Also remember the books were written from Harry's POV, not a neutral party. I'm not obliged to Harry's opinions, just facts. Which brings up the first true conclusion about Draco's character. *Draco Malfoy feels a strong need to impress others, to gain their affection.* He does this through incisive bragging, trying to make people believe he knows best, and tearing down the reputation of others, so the object of his desires sees Draco and the most obvious choice. Where we differ is:

You believe Draco does this, because he thinks, he's better then others.

I believe,(which circumstantially has more evidence), Draco does this because he wants the affection, and acceptance of others

Whether you believe he acts out this way bc of how he is raised, his privilege, or something else, it doesn't change the fact that Draco was truly trying to make a friend, perhaps the only way he knew how.

In noble wizarding society, traditions, and your family does mean a lot. Not even looking at it from a pureblood view, imagine having a family that old and known. They really are a type of nobility, with family Lords even having political seats in the Wizengamote just because of their family name. The Longbottoms and Weaselys hold this same political influence, and it's not tied to Slytherins, pureblood ideals or anything like that. Draco is an only child, and an heir to his family line, so he is going to be treated importantly bc of that. He is raised with that responsibility, and in social situations not only represents himself, but the whole heritage of his family. Draco hasn't had the ability to act like a normal petulant child (part of the reason he tends to act out at Hogwarts.*ie. away from home*). He's been taught to act proper, make good allies, and impress others for the good of his reputation. I'd say most noble wizarding children probably get the same training and lectures, and have their own customs and culture of educate. What may come for Draco as polite, and diplomatic, may sound rude or arrogant to Harry. This is because Draco was not aware how different Harry's upbringing was from his own, and has never dealt with not having enough. Perhaps if Draco knew how different and ignorant Harry was he would have felt pity, or a sense of wrongness at Harry's injustice. Though Draco is just an 11yr old boy, who's only ever had a loving family, and almost anything he wanted. It is difficult for him to relate to the lack of others. As all wizarding children, he probably grew up with the story of the boy who lived and may have even been excited when his father said he wanted them to become friends. He truely was excited to meet Harry and genuinely wanted to be friends. While yes Lucius definitely wanted Draco to befriend Harry to help lighten their family reputation, I also think that Draco, being a child, would more likely be more excited of making a famous friend. Maybe he even had some hope seeing he'd met Harry before when he saw him on the train.

Part 2 : THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DRACO AND DUDLEY

Draco's sense of superiority comes from his traditions and pride in his family, while Dudley's is strictly from his own greed and selfishness. Draco would't do half of the things Dudley does simply because it's incredibly unclothe, and he has better ways of getting what he wants. Dudley isn't smart enough to compare to Draco. Though Draco and Dudley might both have things handed to them, Draco is not gluttonous or greedy about it. Dudley will trash his gifts and belongings, constantly wanting more, and viewing things given to him as disposable. Draco wants things yes (like every child does) but he's proud of his possessions and cherishes them, brags about them. Dudley is an animal compared to Draco. He doesn't have the same skill, smarts or self control. Dudley is abusive, and a tyrant in his bullying. Dudley wants to see Harry hurt and bleed. He is very violent compared to Draco. While we constantly and repeatedly see Draco shy away from violence, and use more his words.

Part 3 : DRACO'S "HARASSMENT", STRATEGIES AND EVOLUTION.

Draco despite his threats and facade is Not a violent person. This is because despite all Draco's bravo, and cruel words, Draco is kind. Yes he is conflicted, but that is only more proof of his inner kindness. If he didn't feel guilty, he wouldn't feel conflicted. Which means he really doesn't want to be mean to others, but he's just acting out based on how he thinks he's supposed to feel/act, but doesn't really enjoy it. I think when you strip Draco back behind his actions, and pose, you'll find a very different person. The half-blood prince gave us some of that, but it's another thing to see it in Draco from the beginning. Essentially Draco's attempt at bullying started when Harry rejected his friendship. Draco had probably never been rejected before, and probably couldn't possibly fathom why Harry would choose anyone else over him. While yes that's a bit coincided, Draco was also incredibly sheltered and probably wasn't introduced to children who weren't already tied to his family. Harry's rejection irrevocably shattered Draco's confidence and perception, which sent him into literal years of lashing out at Harry for his hurt emotions, and pining for his attention. It is the most pathetic excuse for bullying, and Draco antagonizing Harry is the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails. Draco did get quite shrewd with words, but he was really just trying to get the biggest reaction, especially since Harry is so volatile at times. The truth of the matter is Draco is actually very jealous, because deep down he really admires Harry. He want's the same freedom Harry has. He doesn't want to worry about his duty or who he has to be, but to be able to live authentically the way he views that Harry does. Draco really just wants to be more like Harry, but feels he is stuck, by the Dark Lord, his family obligations or anything else. Draco isn't a bully, he's just sad. Not even Ron or Hermione take him seriously after a while. *cough*this is why Drarry is so huge*

Part 4 : He had no choice?????

Everyone has a choice, but I think you over estimate how easy a choice can be. Family is important to Draco, they are probably the only people who love him for who he is, not what they can get out of him. As a child Draco felt pride in his family, and family made him feel special and important. As he got older that pride turn into expectations, and responsibility. Lucius and Narcissa value the preservation of their family above all else. They are protective and loving and those feeling extended to Draco. It's where he gets his kindness. It is indeed a Slytherin trait to value those you care about above everyone else. We protect our own, a loyalty probably stronger then Hufflepuff for those select few a Slytherin deeply cares about. Draco's parent would let the whole world burn to save him, and Draco would do the same for them. While Draco's family did hold pureblood ideals, after the first war Voldemort was not someone they willing wanted to follow. The light sided also would have never offered aid to death eaters, because fundamentally they were still against the dark, and there was no other place for dark wizards to go except Voldemort. Most of the death eaters had actually been somewhat relived at the news of Voldemort's death, and the boy who lived, as Voldemort had already become insane to the point of torturing his own followers, and wasn't getting them anywhere near their goals. Except for the also insane brainwashed few like Bella who'd follow her lord to the grave, many of the death eater's were content to be peaceful and stay quite after the war. Probably even grateful for it, as there were many needless casualties on both sides. I feel like the Malfoys were one of those families that were happy to get out. If the side they are on is harmful or losing, they are ready to abandon ship. This may sound like they are cowardly with no resolve, but if it was the life and death of your family, and your loved ones, I think you might think differently. I feel like we aren't too far off in agreement here, but where we differ is in judgement and motives we feel the Malfoys, or Draco had. Lucius made a mistake in the first war, and spent the second trying to keep his family out of danger. I can't imagine the fear he had in Azkaban for his family, the dementors feeding off him and what he thought the Dark Lord would do to his only son, his wife, his family. Meanwhile Draco was left with the threat of his father rotting in Azkaban, and his mother being killed. His mother also with the thought of her son being killed. So yes Draco could have made a choice, and he did make a choice, a choice to protect his family, and honestly I can't see that as wrong. Maybe if Harry would have actually taken his offer of friendship things could have gone differently and it wouldn't have come to that.

Part 5 : Abuse Theory

I definitely agree with you here. The Malfoys were not abusive, and get a better anthology for racism then something which in fact could be solved with a study on culture rather then blood. If you want a good parallel for racism in HP forget muggleborns, and look at creature blood, not dumb house elfs either, but werewolves, goblins, centaurs beings just as intelligent as wizards. The bigotry towards werewolves especially is horrific, especially from the "light side" who avidly labels them as dangerous dark creatures. *Also note about the scene in Borgen and Berks* Lucius stopped Draco from touching the artifact because it was probably cursed, as many dark artifacts are. Even if you know what you're doing they can be dangerous to handle carelessly. So Lucius was actually very wise and protecting Draco, his 12 yr old son, from getting badly hurt. Why the cane? If touching a cursed object curses you, then its better not to get close with your actual hands. Using his cane to push Draco away was actually a precaution. Lucius is anything but careless,

Part 6: Draco's Wand and Symbolism

I generally agree here too, but I believe this symbolism is more reflective of the things Draco wishes he could have had, or done differently. If anything the wand and symbolism Draco has is representative of the good in him, and not cowardice, or inability to do enough.

Part 7: Redemption

Tbh I'm part of the crowd that would have liked that deleted scene to stay in the final cut. However I understand what's justifiable for one person, may not be enough for someone else. This is where you get more into the topic of morality, and how much are you morally responsible for as a person. Harry has been drilled with the mindset for years that he has to save everyone, and that if your not in it for the greater good, ready to lay down your life you better forget being in it at all. Personally I don't believe Harry has any right to claim that rhetoric, as Dumbledore(and by association Grindlewald) practically spoon fed it down his throat; but I wont talk about that as it's a whole other issue. Draco, you have to understand has a whole type of different morality. Objectively I believe he's a good person, if not pressured by the echo chamber of ideals around him. Yet Draco repeatedly gives signs, and expresses the desire to want to do good. In order to properly analyze Draco you have to look past his outward facade, and actions, or you'll never see him as anything more then he pretends to be. If you can only read plain text, if you can't see past the obvious, you will always have a very flat one dimensional view of a character or a person. To me there's no redemption needed. Draco is already good, more good then his parents, and perhaps more good then some who claim goodness.

In summary Draco is a very complex person, who tries to over compensate for his flaws, struggles to express honesty, but deeply cares for others, especially his family. His duality lies in how he wants to be good to others, yet how in the end he always chooses to save the ones he loves, over the majority. Draco will always have his flaws, but he will always have his goodness too, and I hope you won't disregard that.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

P.S

Kudos to anyone who read through all that.

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clownhara · 4 years ago

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I've been following you for a while but I dont know all that much about your OCs so how about a big resume of them all?? :DDD

I haven't really posted much about them on this account until recently so that doesn't really suprise me 😅 but yeah I absolutely can! Warning though this is going to be unbelievably long

I guess I should start off with Zensuke because he is THE gay purple cat. I named this blog after this guy. I made him when I was probably like 12-13 or around there so he had all the things you'd expect a repressed edgy kid's of to have. He was basically a demon who managed to get out of thier world's equivalent of hell and instead of doing anything evil he just made cake and got married to the guard who was supposed to kill him. I don't really do much with him anymore but I still love him very much.

Corbinian is probably the character I talk most about and he's the one I edit to fit into different worlds the most. He was a normal doctor but he got his memory wiped by robots and ended up working as an executioner for the robotic mafia, but eventually got caught and had to hide out in Lobotomy (he was originally a Lobotomy Corp oc) where he discovered he can extract abnormality dna and with some altering the dna can be injected into humans causing a variety of different mutations and effects. He's usually very heartless and manipulative, but does have a soft spot, usually for anxious, soft spoken people, who subconsciously remind him of his brother (who is a friends if so I can't really get into him). He also was given a variety of nicknames by the higher ups, like Corb, Corn chip, Corb on the Orb, or just Corn. Je

Corble is the result of Corb trying out human cloning. He has the same general appearance as Corbinian, but with purple hair (hence the name, because he's porble corb) that's styled differently. Since the experiment was technically a failure Corb was going to kill him, but Corble was really sweet and innocent and Corb basically went "well great guess I adopted my clone then". Corb stopped messing with cloning but adores Corble.

Might as well get all of my Lobotomy ocs out of the way. Oliver is the first Lobotomy oc I ever made, which is funny because I may or may not constantly forget that he exists. Oliver is basically a five year old kid in an adults body, and I mean that literally, because his parents basically locked him in a room and ignored him so his mental age is basically that of a kids. He's very mischievous and loves pulling pranks on people, most of which are harmless. Unless it's Corb, whom Oliver gates with a passion. Then it's thinly veiled murder attempts disgusted as pranks. He loves Fairy tales, and only works with fairy tale abnormalities because he panics with any other kind. Only one person in the entire facility can even put up with him, and that's Mabel.

Mabel is trans lesbian who can find the good in almost anyone. She's optimistic, bubbly, and has a great sense of humor. She tends to get really flustered around women though. Is it obvious I kinda projected onto her a bit? Because I did. If she wasn't in Lobotomy she'd definitely be a streamer. I'm just now realizing I basically made snapcube before I knew who that was. Whoops.

Up next is Adam! Adam is quiet, nervous, and honestly just prefers to not be noticed. Their ability to almost seamlessly blend into thier surroundings is astounding. Most people (me included) tend to just forget they exist. Which honestly is funny because they end up dating the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. Adam loves horror movies and spicy food.

Kieth is the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. He's the adopted son of a sephirah and the leader of the Rabbit team so that much is unavoidable. He's quick to anger, blunt, and tends to underestimate other people. However, he's also loyal to a fault, and willing to back his friends up no matter what. He feels like his mom's are expecting him to live up to expectations that he can't (and that they don't have but he doesn't realize that), so he's constantly throwing himself in harm's way to desperately try to prove to them that they made a good investment by adopting him or die trying. His two passions in life are collecting weapons and tending to rabbits, two of which he managed to train to sit on his shoulders and attack people. Despite being total opposites he loves Adam very much and will endure any horror movie with them, even if he's a huge scaredy cat.

Damien doesn't gave that much development, unfortunately. He came from a very religious household, moved out, and frequently gets possessed by an abnormality who makes him act like a cryptid. Totally normal stuff. He also went to law school.

Zephyr is a very, very serious individual. They've got a completely monotone color palette, speak either in short, blunt sentences or long, fanciful paragraphs with no in between, and tend to come off as cold and stiff. They're completely devoted to work, which is how they managed to become a captain. Despite this, they're very kind and caring, but unfortunately rarely get to show that side of themselves unless it's with Jamison, thier partner, both in crime and in the romantic sense. They also have a love/hate relationship with Owen, basically openly hating his guts but also enjoys thier banter and would hate if anything genuinely awful happened to them or his family.

Jamison is the complete opposite of Zephyr. He's an open book, very colorful, and tends to slack of when Zephyr isn't looking. Not on purpose, he just tends to get distracted most of the time. He's quite popular because he's very cheerful, which is rare in the higher ranks of Lobotomy. He'd absolutely die for Zephyr, and us usually the one who patches thier wounds. He really doesn't like Owen and thinks thier a pain in the ass, but keeps that to himself most of the time.

Owen is..... Interesting. I kinda went buck wild with him not gonna lie. He's one of the oldest son's of the God of Nightmares and Fire, an absolute agent of choas, and a campy fashion nightmare. But... I love them. They're both unbelievably obnoxious and also very caring. He's the kind of character you'd love but also hate at the same time. He also ended up becoming the God of Death in one timeline. If he wasn't God they'd probably run makeup guru/cursed amsr YouTube channel. Honestly he'd still run those as a God though. Also gender is a toy store and Owen is a kid who broke in after dark and is running along pushing all of the assorted genders into a cart while laughing maniacally (they use any pronouns but I stuck to just he/him they/them for this little snippet)

Alright, Lobotomy ocs done. Up next is.... Ugh... Octavious. He's originally a Danganronpa oc, the shsl gossip, and he was made to be a villian and by God does it show. He's the most fake, back stabbing, two faced character I've ever made. He's also the most one dimensional, which was actually intensional. He has no personality beyond being a petty, lying bitch, so when he runs out of lies and rumors to spread he goes into an existential crisis about how he has virtually no identity until he makes some new lie up about some random person. He's also abusive towards his younger sibling Aspyn, whom he has both physically and emotionally scarred. And, the icing on the "fuck this guy" cake, he's incredibly obsessive over his "wife" Melissa, who wants nothing to do with him and never even dated him, let alone married him. Basically he's a horrible, lying, abusive stalker. He also dresses exclusively in eye burn pink since the most poisonous bugs are usually brightly colored. Fuck Octavious, all my homies hate Octavious.

Next is Melissa, who honestly wasn't much better before her arc. She was raised to believe that in order to truely succeed in life, you have to ensure others fail. She, unfortunately, took that advice to heart. Get arc consisted of learning that we all can succeed together and that actively fucking other people over just made her an awful person, so she changed her behavior and tried to help people from then on out. She's incredibly meticulous, organized, and really smart. She still has issues trusting, but she's getting better. She has a crush on Octavious's younger sibling, but absolutely despises Octavious.

Aspyn is a quiet, caring individual who has no confidence both due to Octavious and just how they were raised. They are an incredibly skilled doctor, however, managing to perform amazingly in several different fields. They are, however, very defensive about thier passions, quick to insult anyone who questions them, mainly due to Octavious. They have a huge crush Melissa, but is to afraid to ask her out. Also they wear an eye patch because Octavious messed up one of thier eyes.

Hooo boy where to start with Edward. He's really inconsistent between universes, but the main constants are his power (he can trade bodies with people), him and Max getting together, him being a huge bookworm, and somehow he usually ends up being my self inserts dad???? Hos other aspects tend to change. Sometimes he's a power hungry megalomaniac who's trying to take over the world and will crush anyone and everyone who gets in his way or isn't useful to him, using his power evily to stay young forever by trading bodies with his kids and killing them when they're in his body. Other times, he's a fairly calm, if not a little cold, man whos biggest crime is the occasional tax evasion, who's power is more of a curse, causing him to stay alive forever through a series of unfortunate coincidences. Either way he's fun to write

Max is one of my favorite characters. He loves baking, his friends and family, he isn't too bright but no one holds that against him. Unfortunately, no matter which side of Edward it is, he's hopelessly in love with him, which can lead to his downfall. He's very protective of his cousin Heron, and tries to protect the innocent, which he usually doesn't end up doing thanks to evil Edwards manipulation. I also somehow failed to mention he's a plant man and flowers sprout wherever he walks and he can control plants but I couldn't find a good way to fit that in naturally.

Heron is half a plant man, in the worst possible way. He has rose vines instead of blood, which feels exactly how you think it would. Magic keeps his alive luckily, but it's unbelievably painful. Most of him and Max's family died when they were young, and unlike Mac who ended up on the streets, Heron ended up in an orphanage, where he learned at a young age that he shouldn't get close to anyone because if he does, they'd die. He genuinely believes that, and the only person he thinks is immune, is his cousin Max, who he even still expects to drop dead. Heron mainly fights by breaking his skin so his vines will grow rapidly and trap and kill his attacker, which looking back is uh. Kinda symbolic. I didn't do that on purpose but it fits

Eden is an angel, who was outcasted from heaven after being framed for a crime they didn't commit. They don't understand how humans work, but is trying thier best to fit in. He's one of the few beings Heron trusts, and even still Heron doesn't trust them much because of Eden's ability, being able to control holy flames. Eden is stoic and aloof, with an odd sense of humor. He insists that him baking using his holy flames is a form of training. Despite them claiming to be above human emotions, they very much are not above them and he is actually quite emotional.

Avocado is one of Herons old friends, who fell victim to Herons "luck" (aka they died). They are a drider (basically spider centaur) who came from a large family of drider thieves. They are very quiet and kind, which they use to thier advantage, since one would thing they'd steal small objects from people's houses or pickpocket them, which Avocado very much does. While they're fairly weak in combat thier thieving skills are not to be underestimated.

Grape is Avocados older sibling, and they are very serious and quite rude. Grape wants to kill Heron to avenge thier sibling, but ends up getting caught robbing the wrong person and ends up having to join the person's kids adventuring party.

Apple is the oldest drider sibling, and ends up taking a motherly role for all of the younger kids. They had to grow up incredibly fast, and has to make all of the hard decisions in place of thier dying father. Desperately needs a break.

There's more spider siblings but there isn't much info on them

Both Sherry and Theodore Poser are mainly just there because I have them really fun designs and don't really have a personality. Sherry's kinda hard to draw though

#this took forever but oh well #im also not tagging every individual oc lol #asks #aki no nyo #gay purple ocs #gay purple posts #long post

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therappundit · 7 years ago

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Welcome to Rap Music, First Quarter 2018...

Q1 2018 is a (w)rap, folks.

Since late 2014, I have been saying that the quality of rap music is trending upwards. Yes, of course there are dips here and there, but what happened in the fourth quarter of 2014 was a shift back towards a skill-set which speaks more to the components of what had traditionally been the key ingredients of good rap music for much of the 1990′s: lyricism, soul, creativity, and message.

Even though the first quarter of 2014 had kicked off with Freddie Gibbs & Madlib’s critically acclaimed Pinata, that release felt more like a bottle of water in a desert oasis, a project intended to keep an increasingly niche underground audience alive rather than an album that was indicative of where hip-hop was going at that point. That year went on to be dominated by catchy but vapid fare like Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” or Young Thug and Birdman’s “Lifestyle”, until there seemed to be a palpable swing of the pendulum when Run The Jewels 2, DJ Premier & Royce Da 5′9′s PRhyme and J. Cole’s 2014 Forest Hills Drive all dropped at the tail end of 2014. What we were witnessing at that point was another Big Bang in hip-hop, the shattering of the genre into a series of sub-genres, meaning that for better or worse, rap music was never going to be the same.

I continue to believe that this trend is a good thing, and the best case scenario for a genre that has gone from being the sound of the boroughs of New York City, to an incredibly lucrative global phenomenon. The diversity of rap styles, the constant shifting of the wall between underground and mainstream (and what those terms really even mean anymore?) continued through 2015, 2016, 2017 and now through early 2018. While we can only speculate on where rap music will be by this time next year, I can tell you some of the storylines that make rap music so special right now:

- Kendrick Lamar has ascended to the Mt. Rushmore of rap legends

- After being on life support for years, classic underground hip-hop is en vogue

- And after losing track of the initial message, trap music seems to have plenty to say

In some capacity, the above threads all played a role in making the first quarter of 2018 one of the strongest that rap music has ever seen. It was far from easy to narrow down my favorite songs of January through March, but here are my picks for the top ten rap records of 2018 so far...

1. “Respected” - Roc Marciano

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LirimXNqnxA

(You won’t find a better rap intro than this one. Very short, but tightly written, this verse defines Roc Marciano as an artist, and overall this track could be used as a template for how to define the mood of an album in less than 30 seconds. From Roc’s opening bars of “fox furs on my evening coat...I gave these heathens hope”, you know exactly what you can expect with Rosebudd’s Revenge 2. And boy does he deliver.)

2. “King’s Dead” - Jay Rock feat. Kendrick Lamar, Future & James Blake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwAnsAUYnw4

(The Black Panther Soundtrack is a legitimate album of the year contender. The impact of the film has been tremendous, but the force of the music inspired by it is of equal quality. Don’t overthink this rambunctious single...just kick back and enjoy it - because that’s clearly what Jay, K Dot and Future did!)

3. “Tent City” - Roc Marciano

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go7n9-JefoQ

(”Walkin’ in the clooooouds”…Roc’s bars simply knock this one out the park: “...can’t hit reverse and pay for things that I ain’t earned / I heard the herb was dipped in sherm, bitches’ vision blurred / the German engines purr like leopards / couldn’t get a gig at Eckerd, they said my past was checkered / my ghetto pass is good, I never had to check it…”)

4. “Sell Me This Pen” - Evidence feat. Alchemist & Mach-Hommy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EWrReYix08

(This is just a perfect Alchemist cut, am I right? Ev, Al and Mach work a sinister sample oh so well.)

5. “Roaches” - Maxo Kream

https://soundcloud.com/maxo-kream/roaches-prod-wlderness?in=maxo-kream/sets/punken

(If you slept on Maxo’s Punken tape, let this track be a reminder that you made a mistake.)

6. “Expensive Genes” - Phonte

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nvRMuOaUs

(Phonte is so strong on No News Is Good News, but his writing on “Expensive Genes” feels better than great. “Expensive Genes” may be a career defining song in the catalogue of an already hall of fame bound lyricist.)

7. “Era” - PRhyme (DJ Premier & Royce Da 5′9 feat. Dave East)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8ONsRbOuos

(I don’t care if you weren’t feeling it, it’s just unfortunate that you slept on a great rap record. DJ Premier, Antman Wonder, Dave East and Royce Da 5′9″ tried to unite eras with their first single off PRhyme 2, and in spite of conflicting opinions I would say they were successful. They tried something different here, and I enjoyed the final result.)

8. “Paramedic!�� - SOB x RBE feat. Kendrick Lamar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2_A89qTgwM

(This one just kept growing on me. SOB x RBE is a crew to watch, and if they are capable of cranking out more energetic west coast bangers like this one, their future is looking bright.)

9. “Proud” - 2 Chainz feat. YG & Offset

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nUW3nIOOOg

(2 Chainz is poised to have a huge 2018. And if his EP is indicative of how good his next album is going to be, we’re all in for a treat.)

10. “Dedication” - Nipsey Hussle feat. Kendrick Lamar

https://pitchfork.com/news/kendrick-lamar-joins-nipsey-hussle-on-new-song-dedication-listen/

(Victory Lap is not the classic many dubbed it to be when it dropped, but it is a very, very good album. On the surface level this song is not a remarkable one, but once you absorb the words, and the vibes from these talented young men who both survived harrowing situations during their childhood to become older, wiser and more successful for it, it really takes the music to another level. “Dedication” is a strong record.)

So to Roc Marciano, 2 Chainz, TDE, Black Milk, Skyzoo, Evidence, Royce Da 5′9″, Conway, 38 Spesh & Benny, Cozz, Willie The Kid, Rome Streetz, Rigz, Nipsey Hussle, Maxo Kream, Phonte, SOB x RBE, Jamal Gasol, Earth Gang, Elzhi & Khrysis, Chuck Strangers, Murs, CZARFACE & DOOM, Jean Grae & Quelle Chris, Valee and plenty of other talented artists, too numerous to mention...thank you for making the early months of 2018 so special. Salute!

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thehalfworld · 7 years ago

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Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 7]

The penultimate chapter!

Warnings this time include sex, violence, and a few references to what went down in the previous installments.

Recap: Tiaa learned that her father is a vampire, and that she would become one herself if she had sex with Edward. Guess what she did. (Also, she killed Uncle Larry and drank his blood.)

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

thanx for the revews!

You’re so welcome!

Chapter 7 - Surprises!

I woke up sheepishly and wandered where I was for a minute.

Vampires don’t sleep, and no one wakes up “sheepishly.”

I got out of bed, wandering if all the things that had hapened to me last night were just a dream. I went downstairs for breakfast and sat down with Dave and Marie.

Vampires don’t eat breakfast, either. Unless she plans on eating Dave and Marie. I wouldn’t object.

THey look at me and smiles adoringly.

You do have a beta reader, right?

"wow tiaa i love your new hair and contat lenses, your look so beautiful!" said marie with her face all bright and happiness.

Marie freaks me the hell out. Why is she so perky?

I got up and look in a mirror. Holly shite! I looked totally diffrent! For the first time I could see my face was truely beautiful, it was even prettier than before.

If you can possibly imagine that, because Tiaa’s descriptions of herself in previous chapters weren’t exactly modest.

My eyes were a weird silver color like wet pools of noble moonlight in distant medows,and my ivory gold hair seemed to shimmer like the suns burned rays in the morning, with the purple streaks shining like neon lilac.

So in the Twilight universe, vampire eye color depends on how recently they last fed and what they last fed on. A vampire with human blood in their system will have red eyes; a hungry vampire has black eyes; vampires who eat nonhuman animals (like Edward and his family) have gold eyes after feeding. Tiaa ate Uncle Larry last night, and she’s newly turned, so she definitely has human blood in her body. Her eyes should be red.

I guess her hair’s the same except for the dye job, though, because she used to have multiple colors streaked into her hair and now she just has purple. Not sure how being a vampire would affect that, honestly.

I was radiant and magical and looked awesome.

I love this sentence.

My skin was even more pale than before and my features more delicate and queen-like, my nose was small and dashing and my cheeks were high and pale and my chin was soft but majestic. I was amazed.

I’m just hoping that she still smells like mint and cinnamon.

Suddenly the phone rang and nuked me out of my silent staring.

Must be one of those newfangled atomic phones.

Dave answered it.

"what? oh my god! Your kidding! This is inconsideratable!" and he hung up

Nice vocabulary, Dave. Nice job hanging up on the caller, too.

"whats happened honey?" Marie asked smiling

Why is she always smiling? Is her face stuck like that?

"uncle larry is died, it looks like he was ripped apart by a wild beast! I feel so sad!

Yeah, you seem real…

(wait for it…)

…torn up about it.

he was my brother"

Not sure why he needed to remind everyone. Can’t imagine Uncle Larry was a pleasant brother, though, since his entire character consisted of being ugly and evil.

I suddenly remembered what I had done, and i screamed and ran to school.

That’s not suspicious or anything! Actually, wait, it’s Dave and Marie; they won’t suspect a thing.

Also, I pictured her doing this like Gir from Invader Zim.

I felt so awful and giulty for what I had done! I new uncle larry was a perv and a rasist and even thou he had raped me and tied me up and spanked me and made my life hell I still shoudnt have killed him!

No, you totally should have killed him.

I was going to explode with guilt. i ran through the forest towards the school but suddenly a large thing appeared in front of me.

Wow! Love the description!

it was a bear - a big panda bear!

…this is happening in a small town in Washington State, correct?

it was huge and fluffy and realy cute, but I was scared as this was a totally weird thing to happen.

She’s not wrong.

But, then again, in the context of this story I guess it’s not too implausible.

"greetings atlantaina!" it said - i was totally freaked out - since when did panda bears live in Forks? And since when did they SPEAK? I was totally confused

You and me both, girl.

"WTF?" i screamed!

"I'm a panda bear, my name is Snooflanti-tatuna but you can call me Snoofles.”

Well, thank god, because I have no idea how to pronounce that first thing you said.

"A talking PANDA BEAR?" i shouted furiously

Why is she angry?

"I cannot talk like humans can, but your not human anymore so you can understand me. You can talk to animals. You probably have other powers too you just don't know it yet"

Oh, I get it. So I think I mentioned this earlier, but in the Twilight universe some vampires gain a special ability after being turned — typically an amplification of some ability they possessed as a human. That’s how come Edward can read minds, his sister Alice has visions of the future, his brother Jasper can influence the moods of others, and so on. Tiaa’s ability to communicate with animals comes out of nowhere only in the sense that it wasn’t foreshadowed; the power fits with canon otherwise.

I’m pretty sure one vampire having multiple extra abilities is unheard of, though. There goes Tiaa breaking the rules again. (Though at this point… after all she’s been through… I guess she deserves something good for a change, no?)

"like watt?" i said

"I dunno, touch that tree" said Snoofles, smiling at me.

Hey, hold up. How does the panda know all this shit? Like… how does he know who Tiaa is? How does he know about how vampires work? Even allowing that Tiaa can communicate with animals now, how come this one is demonstrating human-like sapience?

You know what, none of this will ever get explained and I’m done thinking about it. Let’s move on.

I touched the tree and consentrated hard and even though it was winter the tree suddenly started to bloom huge bunches of flowers. The flowers cascadad down like a river onto the bare forest floor. i took my hand away in horror. The flowers were so beautiful they made me think of edward. then i remembered how he had left me after we had made love, and i became angry. I touched another tree and it burst into flames. It was as if the trees turned into things that somehow reflected how I was feeling!

This power actually makes sense for volatile, moody Tiaa, but it’s not gonna be very useful until she learns to control it. Which might never happen because this girl is an emotional loose cannon. Also we’re on the second-to-last chapter.

"OMG, how is this possible?" i said

"Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol" said Snoofles with a big grin and he raised his eyebows,"but I'm so happy to find a person who can understand my speaking! i al; ways wanted a human friend! will you be my human friend?"

Nice going, author. I like how you had Snoofles know things he shouldn’t and then had him not know how he knows those things he shouldn’t. Great writing! Allows you to avoid explaining anything at all!

"well yah ok" i said, "but i have to go to school now so I'll see you later Snoofles ok?"

"that's cool" said Snoofles "i'll see you later"

I ran away and was totaly weirded out by my meeting with Snoofles.

I, too, was totally weirded out by your meeting with Snoofles.

I was almost in a trance at school and even though people starred at me and made coments about my new apperance I had never cared less.

Maybe because they did this every day anyway?

in gym class I ran around dressed in my gym clothes.

That is what one typically does in gym class, yes.

i was playing dodgball and the cleerleaders kept throwing there balls at me realy hard like biaches but i was dodging them at the speed of light.

Being subtle, I see! Good going convincing everyone you’re still human!

Lauren came over to me and tries to hit me over the face with her balls and I slapped her in the face.

Did Lauren just try and teabag Tiaa?

"WTF you freaky goth tudor bitch!" she shouted with her ugly face flapping like a big bag

I swear this fic has the best similes I have ever seen.

"leave me alone yeah?" i said looking more beautiful than ever

And this is relevant why?

"no - ill never leave u alone becase your so werid! what has hapened to your face its like your from another planet, your so pale and delicate its freaking everyone out and we all hate you!"

Well put, Lauren.

I was so mad i pushed her but when my hands touched her arms her skin started to blister and froth in a totally gross way and she got struck by a bolt of lightning. She wasnt dead or anything but she looked totally disgusting and she got taken to the hospital.

Nasty! Can’t say I feel bad for Lauren, though.

I didnt look for my friends and after gym class I sat in the changing rooms after everyone has left and cried becase I felt so sorry for watt I had done to uncle larry and to lauren.

Oh, come on. Lauren is just a bully, admittedly, but Uncle Larry was a rapist — a particularly violent one committing repeated rape against a teenager, no less. Killing him was just taking out the trash. And Lauren should be okay-ish after a few skin grafts.

I was sat there wearing a very short leather mini-dress and red ripped tights and a skull necklace and a gothic top hat with feathers on it.

She headed to an Emilie Autumn concert after school or what?

Suddenly I heard a voices from behind me

A voices. One voice, but it’s plural. Got it.

(I wanna make a System Shock joke here but I can’t think of a good one.)

"Tiaa? Tiaa? It is I Edward Cullen!" said edward.

No one on this planet talks like that. I don’t care what time period you’re from.

i turned to kook at him and he gasped in a high piched way and fell over onto the floor. I was mad at him and totaly upset about other stuff so i didnt check to see if he was ok. He got up in a minute.

…alright, I’m not sure how to react to that.

"I fainted Tiaa, thou is so sexy and exqisite i lost my contentioness.

I’m pretty sure vampires can’t faint. Did he pretend to faint? Because, if so, that’s really funny.

Thy face is even more sacred and filled with shinning glory than before, I am amazed" but then he noticed I was crying tears of soft blood and he said "what is wrong with thee?" said Edward

“Im trunign into a My Immortal characted!11!11!!1” I yielded depressingly as blod streemed down my iviory fetnures. “Ewdard fangz 4 all da help but not even u can salve me now. I”m gong to go slit my rists with a steak so i can end my live of mizery!112!!!!11111”

“OMS no Tiaa dont go!” Edwerd shooted sadly but it waz 2 latte. I cut miself with da knife and da word went blak.

"I killed someone Ewadrd! I killed my uncle and drank his blood and I think I made lauren get stuck by lightning"

Okay, but like… Edward knows your “uncle” had been raping and beating you repeatedly. The Lauren thing might be considered bad, since her main crime was just being an asshole, but Tiaa didn’t mean to hurt her like that, so it’s not really her fault.

"its ok Tiaa he was evil and noone cares about lauren" Edward says to comfort me and he put his arms round me

Dude has a point.

"still watt i did was awfull and anyways GET OFF ME!" i stood up and shock him off me "dont come near me ever again! I havent forgiven you for whatt happened last night! We did sex and you left me there in the forest!"

"I'm sorry! I cannot stay away from thee and yet I cannot be with thee either" he cried and threw his hands up and weeped

Hey, wanna play a drinking game? Take a shot every time Edward starts crying. Finish your drink every time Edward goes immediately from putting the moves on Tiaa to saying he can’t be with her or vice versa. I guarantee you will get very, very drunk.

"make your mind up Ewdard! this is a serious thing! Ether stay here with me now and screw me and be with me forrever or leave and go be with Bella! Make youre choice right now!"

That’s a reasonable ultimatum except for the part where she propositioned him for sex while they’re in a public area of their high school.

"I choose thee Atlantnina! Bella is a big mean cow and I cant be with her anymore!

Get wrecked, Bella.

I will never leave thou side again my lovley damsell!"

See? Was that so hard?

He started to cry and I kissed him. He was so amazing. His yellow eyes and tussled aubon hair and pale skin made me want to screw him all the time, I'd never seen anybody look so perfect.

Get a grip, kids, you’re at school.

I took off my dress so I was only wearing my underwear and i sat on his knee and we kissed a lot.

What part of “get a grip” was so hard for you to understand?

He touched me all over and I felt dizzy and week.

This is shaping up to be a very vague sex scene, huh?

"Do you mean it edward? You'll be mine forrever?"

"I does, i shall be thy mate" he said beautifully in his smooth hot velvet voice

I didn’t get any girls in high school, but I guess it was probably because I didn’t speak in butchered old-timey English, huh? Nothing gets teenage girls going like a little bizarre grammar!

I found some handcuffs on a bench and I tied him to a hook.

I could get analytical about what it means for Tiaa, who was chained to a bed and nearly raped the day before, to develop an interest in restraining her sexual partners… but I’m far more confused by why the hell there are handcuffs laying around in a high school.

he was unable to move and i took his pants down and looked at his throbbing lavender man-fruit thing.

Why is it lavender? Is he okay?

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I put it in my mouth and sucked it and he thrusted madly untill he had an orgasm in my mouth.

I’m far from being a seasoned erotica writer, but if you go from the beginning of the sex act to the climax in a single sentence it really makes it sound like your character came about 10 seconds in. Which, even for a 17-year-old boy, is pretty embarrassing.

The hot juice flowered in my mouth and it was magical.

I really don’t think it was, actually.

Sodenly a voice came from behind me

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT PEOPLE?

It was……………………………. DUMBLEDORE!!11!!!

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU BOTH AND NOW I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!"

It was Bella Swan!

Okay, that had to have been a homage to “My Immortal.” And god bless!

Next chapter

#forbidenfruit.mst #fandom:twilight #halfworld.mst

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

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Can You Make A Living In Forex Signal Copying!? Is It Possible?!

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/can-you-make-a-living-in-forex-signal-copying-is-it-possible/

Can You Make A Living In Forex Signal Copying!? Is It Possible?!

Is it feasible to make a living at a full-time career out of following anyone else’s indicators? So what an fascinating subject that is. Can you make a dwelling via following any one else’s trade alerts. Very principal. Absolutely for us anyway in view that we work for forexsignals.Com. Joking aside, it’s a valid question. And i consider it desires no extra analysis. My experience over the final… You understand two decades or so trading the buying and selling the monitors. I’ve seen quite a lot of individuals come into this trade, trying to stop their day job. Considering they are going to be a trader. This is their road to riches. It’s a get-wealthy-rapid scheme, k? They do not like their present jobs and so they suppose they are going to be you already know simply switching on the displays and making a living.Men and women are watching really most commonly for the effortless manner out. And this technique has really led to a real growth enterprise in the currency trading signal carrier trade. Truly, what a currency trading sign service is, is exactly what it says on the tin. You know you pay a subscription. A monthly or annual subscription or some thing fee plan you might have with the provider. And that supplier will send you a signal to your email, to your smartphone or what have you.And that will be a buy or promote with discontinue loss stages, take profit target levels could even have some risk administration in there as well. So what a signal provider will do? Send you the sign you as a dealer will take the sign and off you go. You attempt to earn money. You have got learn on the tin that this approach makes twenty percentage in the path of the year, so that you think that’s satisfactory. Well, I inspiration definite— i do not consider it is a relatively as handy as that. And that i consider you must put some extra analysis into the civil provider, and we will speak about that a bit extra in in a moment. But there are exact advantages. Am I following a signal carrier and the primary expertise is: learning to trade itself is just not an convenient challenge. Is just not whatever that you can do overnight. Not whatever you could decide upon up a ebook, read the booklet and then you turn out to be a dealer .It takes time.A number of time. I’ve been trading for thirty years, twenty years particularly on the screens. Takes a variety of time and a variety of reveal follow. And that caring love bullets. So in your signal carrier having faith in any individual else to make these selections for you can be a huge abilities. Now, let’s count on that strategy you are utilizing or that the supplier is making use of has been that verified. It can be obtained a excellent track record. Possibly, they’ve carried out their back testing. That testing is an tremendously boring mission. It needs to be completed. You have to know the way the approach performs. So if you wish to comply with a signal carrier, you could have received to anticipate that that provider has performed all that again testing for you. He is taken all that tough figure out for you. So there you might have a procedure. Sincere again checking out. It’s acquired a exceptional return on investment, off you go together with it. Well quite frankly, right here is the place I suppose the double-edged sword is.It can be now not fairly so simple as that. While you comply with a sign service You clearly… Transferring the responsibility onto any individual else. And it is very convenient while you shift the responsibility onto someone else to blame anyone else when that method goes incorrect. You then shedding, ok? That’s plenty of the reasons why people do it. They do not wish to take some accountability. However I think to use a signal provider in the most amazing manner, you may have got to take some accountability. K, you’ve bought to fully grasp what is going on on at the back of the process. So you have obtained to comprehend the traits of that method. How it informs in volatile periods. What the maximum drawdown is. What the maximum quantity of consecutive losses will be. What’s the highest number or advantage gainers you are likely to see as well. It’s most effective rather have their the know-how. That you are ready to have extra believe in the exact sign provider itself.Very handy to throw out a signal service due to the fact that you will have had fireplace shedding trades. Then you definately move on to the following sign carrier. And then the next one and the next one and the whole cycle repeats itself. So you need to do some extra evaluation into the sign so that you have got confidence to stick to the process indeed when it does have those drawdown pillars. You ought to understand what is going on in the back of the scenes behind that sign. Now the other thing I think I wish to speak about is the chance administration. Threat administration is principal when you’re trading. A variety of these signal offerings that you see they do not fairly comprise the risk management.The giant photograph. They might say only danger 1% on the trade, however they’re no longer watching at the tremendous photograph in terms of your buying and selling plan. Where you need to be in a month’s time, six months time, a yr’s time, in two years time. This just in actual fact a fast profit and that’s what they’re basing themselves on. To emerge as a effective dwelling making a residing out of buying and selling, you may have obtained to have a plan. You’ve got bought to have a strategy in terms of risk to take you ahead. A number of these techniques these are an identical offerings don’t furnish that for you. So what you have to do basically fairly frankly, is comply with a single carrier. However be aware of what is going on into it. What’s the backbone at the back of it and the greater photograph. Psychology, chance administration. Now here at forexsignals.Com, we do exactly that. We furnish indicators of path. We additionally provide the schooling. The schooling at the back of the process. We educate you why we’re taking such trades. We teach you the thought procedure what is going on on in the back of the strategy. We talk to you about again test. Learn how to analyze a process. Find out how to truely see if that is credible going ahead.What is the expectancy. That basically means what that you can assume from that method. What number of losses you could possibly have on the jump. How many competencies winners you can have on the jump. We additionally component in the hazard management as well. We look at that in an awfully serious topic it is so so major threat administration, so we duvet that as good. The other thing you have got to appear at is the psychology at the back of coaching. Psychology it is most of the time 70% of the whole thing we do as traders. Despite the fact that you’re following a signal service or even though you are trading your self. Psychology is imperative. Which you could follow a sign service. Have some dropping trades. Then you definately begin doubling up or you then throwing it out and getting yet another procedure. All this is the psychology. Getting a sign provider without that evaluation can lead to threat.So I consider it is reasonable to claim there is a work, there is a space for a sign carrier. However you may have got to look into it within the large picture. You’ve obtained to seem into it’s as part of your buying and selling plan. Sure it takes some rough work away, but you’ve gotten bought to place a bit bit extra work into it. Consider me, there isn’t a sign provider out there that you can plug in comply with religiously to stop your day job. However there is undoubtedly an area for it. I am hoping this video was once insightful. And if it used to be, provide me a thumbs up. If it wasn’t, provide me a thumbs down.Of course consistently leave a comment beneath. We’d love to hear from you. Love read in the feedback. I get again to as many as i will be able to. Subscribe to the channel if you haven’t already performed so and of direction which you can comply with us on Instagram. Where case you get to peer all of the work that goes on in the back of these videos. Thanks once more for this factor and until the next video excellent luck! .

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airoasis · 5 years ago

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Can You Make A Living In Forex Signal Copying!? Is It Possible?!

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/can-you-make-a-living-in-forex-signal-copying-is-it-possible/

Can You Make A Living In Forex Signal Copying!? Is It Possible?!

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raes-dirty-laundry · 6 years ago

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Stress

I didn’t realize exactly the depth of pure shit I was in until I wrote, be it a very summarized version, of it all down. That version was sent off never to be seen again but this version I’m about to write all down for you here is the extended directors cut. From my brain to this social media platform to you, in all its angsty glory;

1. Constant worry about the wellbeing of my ex girlfriend, that I haven’t seen in three weeks. And when I say constant I mean not a moment goes by where she’s not on my mind. I’m ether formulating the next text I’m going to send her, the next conversation I’m going to have with her (the next time she decides to fucking bless me with her presence), the next accusation, confrontation, confession, concession, profession of everything I’ve been holding in; or I’m bombarded with the mental image of her lying dead on the carpet, all the years and decades passing by where we’re in love and nothing could keep us down as long as we got eachother, successful or poor, fat or thin, living or dying or somewhere in between. that life, that track, that winding road I could have kept her going on if I wasn’t selfish, didn’t take myself away from her for my own good. What’s my own good any good for if she’s gone anyway? And sometimes when I think of her all I feel is relief that it’s over, and guilt that its really, really not. Sometimes all I think is how much I miss her, not that I miss us or what we had together but believe it or not she was good company and an even better friend. Sometimes when I think of her I’m furious and sometimes I’m sad, but mostly I just want closure. A closure I don’t deserve and I’ll probably never get anyway.

2. Me passing this semester, this whole year is solely dependent on a paper I mean to write but never have the time or the motivation or the ability to create. It was due a week from torrow and I’ve promised my professor it’d be on his desk tomorrow morning, but I think we both knew that’s not going to happen. I’m going to fail his class and fail this year and there’ll be no one to blame but my own shitty inability to make good on my word. My word is all I fucking have and I can’t even keep that straight. I’m unwilling to hand in a crap paper and I’m unwilling to do what it takes to completely it and I’m unwilling to show up to his class empty handed, so what the fuck am I supposed to do now? All my options are exhausted, I’m exhausted, and I’ve not even begun to suffer for it.

3. Speaking of classes, I’m on the verge of failing two of them and only with a month left in school there is absolutely no time and little I can do to make it up. Not only will this hinder my ability to pursue further education but it will also without a doubt put strain on my home life as well, when the truth comes out either by admission or that cold hard evidence when the grade report comes in. Let it be known that at least I’ll take the responsibility for my own damn action and conscious choices that led me to fuck everything up. Let it be known that my free will is strong, and as much as it blesses me it is also my greatest burden, but I’m learning to live with it as I am will all things.

4. I’ve been severely deprived of possitive social interactions, friendships and what have you, for god knows how long: since I fell out with my childhood best friend, Jacob, surely. Because of this for the longest time I had aloud shit people into my life because I was desperate, and just up until recently I have come to terms with my inherent isolation and found peace with the one solid and good friendship I have, I found peace with putting my all into being happy with myself and not needing others to define my value. Since that epiphanic moment for some god forsaken reason everyone from here to whoville has been coming out of the woodwork to be my ‘friend’. By friend I mean they want to use me as an emotional dumpster, and somehow I’m the one left feeling guilt deep in my soul for just not giving a rats ass about thier shorty problems and thier shitty lives that I can’t do anything about and if I tried they’d be pissed and if I have advice they wouldn’t take it and if I just listened they’d tell me they don’t feel valued and I act like I don’t care and they’d spit in my face. So forgive me if this irony is fucking shocking when I say, the moment I stop lusting for friendship and start actually examining the quality of those I let influence me, a cascade of shit people become vying for my attention, right when I gain the ability so see through said shit too. Where were these people when I was desperate and would have bent over backwards for their every whim? Where were they when I was honest to god lonely and just needed one friend, one person to talk to no matter how shitty or using or manipulative? Now that I’m free of my blissful ignorance, free from letting scum walk all over me just because they give me the time of day, now they all see my value? It’s not fair and entirely too patronizing, even for god this is gone too far.

5. I’m almost certain that the only constant, stable good thing I’ve got left in my life is getting closer and closer to his end and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever has to deal with in my entire goddamn life. After he’s gone I’m afraid of what will become of me. I’m sure that everything good about my soul that was ever worth anything of value will leave with him. I’m almost relieved that the squishy, vulnerable, loving bits left still inside me will be burried with his soft little body in the dirt where it will all go back to creation, hopefully where it can be used and remade and turned into the thread that twines around true loves hearts. Meanwhile I’ll be left here to live on my life, cold and careless and unseeing, where I will finally be able to throw myself into the Work. all that I see now, all the suffering thag hurts to ignore, all the love and the heartache and everything that makes me who I am will be deep in the dirt where it belongs and I’ll be blessedly empty and there’ll nothing left to hurt any longer. Or at least that’s what I hope.

6. The responsibilities I’ve been turning a blind eye too for far too long are finally nipping at my heels and I can barely contain them inside my any longer. I’ve got a responsibility to myself to take care of myself far better than I have been. I owe it too the one friend I truly have to try and take better care of her and our friendship. I have a responsibility to make sure my boy he’s happy and safe and well cared for, but I can’t bring myself to take him in and find out how long we’ve really got, it would break what little of me that’s stable that I have left and I just can’t to that to him, I’ve got to be strong enough to be there when the time comes but it’s selfish to keep myself in this dark, it’s wrong of me to do this too him but I just don’t know what to do. What I can do, if there’s anything, and I’m too scared to go find out. I’ve got a responsibility to myself to actually be responsible with my life for once, do what I must do to progress on my path but I just can’t find it in myself to break out of the routine and do something with myself. Ive got the will, but I just can’t seem to find my way.

7. The nightmares, if they can even be called that, have been plaguing me for a week or so and it’s probably the worst possible development nueralogically that could have happened to me as of late. My dreams, for years, have been the only peace I find in my horrible useless life. The only place in my mind that I don’t have conscience control of, hence it is salvation for a person like me. A whimsical everchanging world that has always brought me joy has now been ruined. Every night it begins like how it used to be, funky little nonsensical dreams where I’m free to just enjoy for a moment a life where I am simply lead, no choices to make and no prices to pay. Hours of harmless everlasting fun safe tucked away in my mind where no one can rain or take away. I’ve always had a vivid imagination, so it’s always been sometime bright and new and exciting. But now? It’s dull. Not scary, not terrifying, not traumatic or chaotic, just my life through a lens. It’s like stepping into a version of my own life where I make irriversable mistakes, where every bad trait is put under the microscope and examined in depth, or it’s replaying every mistake I’ve ever made before, over and over until I can’t tell what’s real life and what’s inside, or worst of all, I’ll wake up and not remember a damn thing; a completely dreamless night. I never knew one of the last good things in my life that were truely mine could so easily slip through my grasp, and now my peace is gone and I’m scared every night that the next time I fall asleep will be even later than the last until I’m so fed up with my dreams not being the salvation that it used to be, that sleep while once was the hope on the horizon getting me through the day will now be so useless and horrible that I’ll give up on sleeping all together and just be an empty sleepless lifeless zombie. I’m scared that I’ll never get my dreams back. I’m scared that one day I might even learn to be content with the dull dreams that leave me racked with despair every time I open my eyes and just have my own sad twisted life thrown back at me.

That pretty much sums it all up. Those are the factors in which are making it extremely difficult to life my life at the moment. These are the reasons I’ve moved beyond stress and anxiety to a simmering ball of hazy rage doused dread. I know one day it’ll all be irrelevant or I’ll just be used to it, but I almost prefer feeling too much all the time, as apposed to not being able to feel anything at all, but I’m sure my stance on that there will change with time and I become more and more numb to the world around me, duller and duller until I am blind to the machinations of my own demise.

#rae rambles #stress #please god give me the strength to carry on

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kennethpaul-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Spunk, Hot and Smart Women

Spunk, Smarts, and combating ability…? She could win at the whole lot. She ought to exchange a tire and dance in a ballgown within the equal ten mins. perhapswith a bit streak of grease over her cheekbone, to remind you that she changed into difficult and delightful, and also to remind you ways proper her cheekbones had been. Now she was carrying a quite dress however fight boots underneathit, and she additionally had a gun, to combat sexism. She looked so proper. She kicked a man within the face, and he or she didn’t even care. “Feminism,” she said to herself, after which put on some purple lipstick. “simply due to the fact I’m a feminist doesn’t mean I don’t like to look excellent.” Then she kicked another guy thru a window, and he fell all the manner. He becomeprobably useless. She had like 4 weapons strapped proper on her boobs. Mallory Ortberg’s “a day in the life of an Empowered girl Heroine” may be satirical, however I’m willing to bet most peopleunderstand the movie stereotype lampooned right here. Trinity within the Matrix, Maggie Madsen in Transformers, Tauriel within the Hobbit… succesful ladies, held up as evidence of Hollywood’s sensitivity to gender equality. Trinity’s a peerless martial artist, Maggie’s a hacker with a knack for marksmanship, Tauriel’s an orc-killing device. those women are on par with the men, right? They’re sturdy ladyCHARACTERS, signed sealed and delivered for container workplace achievement. except Trinity fails to pinnacle her pulse-pounding introduction, fading into the heritage while Neo takes centerstage. Maggie’s remembered for her smarts and stick insect seems, if she’s remembered at all. out of doors of her bow-and-blade-wielding badassery, Tauriel spends her time at the center of a hackneyed love triangle, the best context in which her persona peeks thru. All three characters, like such a lot of woman characters in famous media, lack intensity. SFC_TrinityNeo From The Matrix Revolutions | Warner Bros. pix and Roadshow leisure, 2003 This begs the question: how a ways have we come from the simplistic “Damsel in distress” depiction of girls onscreen, genuinely? “these days the princesses all recognize kung fu, and yet they’re nevertheless the identical princesses,” Sophia McDougall argues in NewStatesmen: They’re nevertheless love pastimes, nonetheless the only lady in a group of 5 boys, and that they’re all kind of the identical. They march on display screen, punch someone to expose how they don’t take no shit, throw round more than one one-liners or forcibly kiss someone due to the fact getting consent is for wimps, and then with ladylike discretion they again out of the narrative’s way. nowadays, the word “sturdy girl character” is greater advertising than substance, suggesting the only trait a femaleshould possess if a movie is to test the “inclusionary” box: strength, which a long way and away has come to intendspunk, smarts, and combating potential. What the phrase have to suggest – perhaps what it initially supposed, earlier than it became muddled by using the vagaries of semantics and prejudices of Hollywood – is “sturdy individual who's female.” here we begin to see “robust” for what it's miles; not spunk/smarts/preventing capability rolled into a one-dimensional person type, but a qualifier regarding craft. What makes a strong individual? The question deserves its own put up, but in brief, we would say a sturdy person is a multidimensional character considerable to the tale. He/she has strengths and weaknesses, and his/her employerfundamentally progresses the plot. at the same time as working via my backlog of movies, i discovered Bridesmaids, a 2011 romantic comedy about the misfortunes that beset Annie after she agrees to function maid of honor for her fine pal. We’re aware about Annie’s baking expertise and recognize her loyalty (strengths), however we’re additionally with her as she faces monetary issues, falls prey to jealousy, and wrestles with questions of 310eaa1671f8cdca56bbfcd482325088 (weaknesses). She’s a completely drawn character whose actions move alongside the movie’s occasions; a sturdy female man or woman within the unique experience of the phrase. SFC_Bridesmaids Bridesmaids | Apatow Productions and Relativity Media, 2011 Bridesmaids was successful, however its complicated portrayal of female characters is the exception to the rule of thumb. In reality, many movies fail the conventional “Bechdel take a look at”, comprising three easy requirements which collectively manage to pay for girl characters a naked minimal of depth: A movie should have as a minimum two ladies in it, Who communicate to every different, approximately something except a person. creator Walt Hickey presents a few startling examples: “The Hobbit: An surprising journey” contains fewer than named women and for this reason fails the check on the primarycriterion. And whilst “The Avengers” has as a minimum ladies in the film – Pepper Potts, Black Widow and Agent Hill come to mind – they don’t communicate to each different, so it fails on the second one criterion. And at the same time as the better halves of Doug and Stu are both named and do certainly have a communique in “The Hangover part 3″, it’s aboutAlan, Zach Galifianakis’ individual, so it fails on the 1/3 criterion. The animated movie, “Frozen”, passes the take a look atin view that significant lady characters, Anna and Elsa, discuss the isolationist policies of Arendelle, plans to build a snowman, and the time Elsa locked their civilization in an eternal wintry weather. Frozen met with crucial and business success in 2013. an awesome year for women in movie? perhaps in component, butin keeping with researcher Martha M. Lauzen, lady characters made up best 15 percent of protagonists and 30 percentageof all speaking characters in that 12 months’s top a hundred grossing films. SFC_Frozen From Frozen | Walt Disney Studios, 2013 Why achieve this many movies fail the Bechdel take a look at? Why does “sturdy woman man or woman” imply “macho” in preference to “multidimensional” to such a lot of? surely, longstanding gender bias plays a part. “let’s be honest,” a top studio executive exhorted the new Yorker, “The decision to make movies is basically made by using guys, and if men don’t ought to make movies about girls they won’t.” To be clean, as Manohla Dargis of The ny instances places it, “There isn’t a returned-room cabal of cigar-chomping male – and girl – executives conspiring against female administrators, at the least that I realize of.” alternatively, she describes the reluctance to fund movies with the aid of and about ladies as symptomatic of a conservative industry fearful ofexchange, even supposing embracing alternate may want to produce better Returns on investment. whatever the motives, the fact is that the advent of strong characters – in different phrases, simple vintage right writing – is non-obligatory when it comes to the representation of 1/2 of the arena’s population! Why do audiences take delivery of such a dismal popularity quo? “well, what choice will we have?”, you would possibly fireplace returned. As mentioned lately here at lighting, Hollywood has a tendency to “play it secure”. The identical kinds of movies get made time and again because they bring within thegreenbacks, so we’re barraged by content that assumes the identical simplistic perspective, 12 months in and year out. We’re conditioned to expect and presented few options to the spunk/smarts/fighting potential of Hollywood’s one-dimensional “sturdy female man or woman” type. It’s vital to word this thought of electricity is a wonderfully possible, if really clichéd, triad of developments to build right into a individual. however if your intention is to create a strong character, you want extra dimensions. How will your individual’s strengths and weaknesses fundamentally development the plot? SFC_AlienTerrified From Alien three | twentieth Century Fox, 1992 within the Alien franchise, Ellen Ripley takes on a malevolent creature, however her terror is regularly palpable. In Terminator 2, Sarah Connor realizes her obsession with stopping Judgment Day is turning her right into a monster, so she finds a less compromising way to prevent research into Skynet. in the Battlestar Galactica reboot, Starbuck’s guilt surrounding the loss of life of her fiancé impacts her ability to educate new Viper pilots. In shifting their tales from factor A to factor B to point C, Ripley, Sarah, and Starbuck kick ass, but like all people, they’ve got their issues. Of direction, not every movie capabilities a strong person who's woman, and that’s best. “A person’s gender, like their spiritual upbringing or their faith, like their favored book or food, like their sexual orientation and reports, like their schooling and their adolescence, is a component of individual,” creator Greg Rucka reminds us. It’s a single megastar in a constellation of narrative concerns. however it does shine in particular bright in a international waylaid through sexism. We encourage you to be sensitive to the fame quo. Push past the bounds Hollywood has a tendency to set for itself, and don't forget: your precedence is to create strong characters, be they male or lady. display their strengths and their weaknesses, and lead them to vital, not incidental, to the plot. SFC_Boyhood From Boyhood | IFC movies, 2014 exchange comes slowly, mainly in the movie commercial enterprise. however it does come, as suggested by means ofsturdy female characters in latest movies along with Boyhood and still Alice, as well as by way of this year’s Golden Globes, honoring movies wherein girls got to be “real, lovable human beings.” Maggie Gyllenhaal put it nicely in her recognition speech for “quality Actress in a Mini-collection or a motion picture Made for tv” (The Honorable lady): What I see, truely, are girls who are occasionally effective and occasionally now not, sometimes sexy, occasionally now not, now and again honorable, every now and then now not. And what I suppose is new is the wealth of roles for realwomen in tv and in film.

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

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