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wttcsms · 2 months ago

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if you feel like falling (catch me on the way down) | TWO

ᝰ.ᐟ after getting your heart broken by professional soccer player, rin itoshi, all because he loved the game more than you, you officially swear off all men — especially athletes. your publicist doesn’t get that memo, though, and you find yourself roped into a fake relationship with yoichi isagi, who isn’t just a pro soccer player, but also your ex’s rival. things could get messy. ( fem!reader )

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pairing yoichi isagi x reader (endgame), past! rin itoshi x reader word count 5.9k chapter synopsis the busier your schedule, the less time you can spend thinking about rin. the only problem is, you see something you can't unsee. nothing a bottle of tequila can't fix, right? (spoiler: tequila isn't fixing a broken heart) chapter contains partying and drinking to cope, diet culture author’s notes i have nothing to insightful to add rn, but send me any asks discussing this fic and i will have a lot to say LOL

From: [email protected] To: [USER EMAIL HIDDEN] Cc: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] + 3 others Subject: 6/19 — [NAME] [SURNAME] AGENDA Attachments: 📎 [6.19 AGENDA.pdf]

All —

Attached is the PDF copy of [Name]’s itinerary for today. Reminder that these times are STRICT. Stay on schedule.

Fumiko Gima

Get Outlook for IOS

Your first alarm goes off at 4:50 AM to what you assume is the noise they play on repeat in hell (By the Seaside, an Apple classic). After waking up, you roll over in your king size bed (the problem with always choosing to go big instead of just going home is the fact that when you’re all alone, the luxury of extra space just becomes empty space) to promptly hit the snooze button. You’ll allow yourself five more minutes of sleep (as a treat). When the second alarm you set up goes off at 4:53 AM (By the Seaside, once again), you scream into your pillow, and shut it off for real this time. You knew you weren’t going to give yourself the full five minutes, but it felt really good to trick yourself into believing that you would. You always start the day with this tiny disappointment; that way, no one has the privilege of being the first person to piss you off.

At 4:54 AM, you slide your feet into your Ugg slippers, readjust the loose straps of your silk camisole, and shuffle into your marble-floored bathroom. You rub the sleep from your eyes, brush your teeth with your pink electric toothbrush, and wash your face. By the time you’re done with your morning skincare, it’s 5:06 AM. You honestly can’t remember the last time you did your own makeup, but you bring your makeup bag with you anyway. If there’s downtime between shoots, you’ll post a faux-GRWM TikTok where you apply three miniscule dots of concealer on your seemingly already flawless skin and add a fresh layer of the brand new, limited edition Rhode peptide lip treatment that Hailey Bieber’s team gifted you. They also gave you twenty grand to do so, with a personal “hey girlie, would love to catch up with you one of these days!! life has been so hectic, sorry for not keeping in touch x btw, i just came out with a new shade of my…” text from Hailey herself. (You replied back with a “yessss, we need to meet up soon!! Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE the new shade omg 😍” — neither of you have any intention for planning a meet-up, and you don’t “LOVE LOVE LOVE” the new shade as much as you “LOVE LOVE LOVE” to deposit a fat check.)

You’re sliding into the backseat of the glossy black SUV parked in front of your driveway at 5:14 AM. Your chauffeur, Benji, holds open the door for you.

“Good morning, Ms. [Surname],” Benji never drops the formalities with you, except for when he’s lecturing you. Thank God he doesn’t own a smartphone; if he saw half the things Daily Mail wrote about you, his voice would be gone from scolding you so much. Even if he’s technically on your parents’ payroll and is paid to make sure you get to and from places safely, it still feels nice to have someone who cares about you enough to call you out on your shit.

The first stop is an exclusive, members-only pilates studio. If you’re home, you have to work out in the morning, no matter what. You like your routine. Out of all the things online magazines put out about you, it’s kind of embarrassing how the most accurate one is revealing how you stay “fit ‘n flawless even after going out every night.” Most people didn’t believe it. Rin got it, though. Rin would actually work out with you, when the two of your schedules aligned, and— Time to start your workout early! Nothing takes your mind off of matters more than focusing on the burn of your core and arms.

By the time you finish your private session, you’re walking out the studio with your puffy tote bag slung over your shoulders. Your body is still a bit damp from taking a quick shower but not drying off properly, and Benji drops you off at your first business stop of the day — ELLE Japan.

You smile brightly as the team of makeup artists surrounding you shower you with compliments. One of the girls brushing on your foundation tells you that you have really nice skin. When she goes in for a second layer, you almost consider rescinding the thanks you gave her.

The set is hectic, as expected. No matter how long these people have been in the industry, no matter how big the host is, something always seems to be going wrong. Apparently, there’s been a mishap over in wardrobe, and ELLE’s people are not very happy with how this is going to delay everything. With your hair and makeup done, there’s nothing for you to do besides sit down, be quiet, and look pretty.

Downtime is the last thing you want. You’re used to a busy schedule, but you convinced Fumiko to accept as many projects as possible. If you have to rank at the top of the list for celebrities who emit the most CO2, then so be it. You’ll pollute the whole damn planet if it means you won’t have a single second to be alone with your thoughts.

At 9:00 AM sharp, you go on your phone to inform your manager that the agenda is fucked. ELLE Japan is definitely going to push back this session with you for at least a good hour, which means Fumiko is going to have to explain to Your Style (the YouTube channel name for a famous fashion commentator who’s amassed nearly twenty million subscribers) why you’re going to be late for the Zoom debrief on what you two are going to talk about in an upcoming video. At 9:02 AM, you receive a text.

juli ᡣ𐭩: u know i love u

It’s two in the morning in Paris. When Juliette said she was going to visit her father, she said it was going to be a much-needed vacation — just something chill and lowkey, like going to all the designer stores and eating croissants on a balcony. Those were her exact words.

juli ᡣ𐭩: [photo attachment]

Somehow, from the neon strobe lights, bodies pressed against one another’s, and the way the image is blurry because she couldn’t get her phone to focus, it feels like Juliette’s “something chill and lowkey” morphed into club-hopping all over France. You roll your eyes with affection. You should’ve known her vacation was going to turn into this; as if Juliette would eat bread for pleasure — she’s been quoted for claiming that carbs are a necessary evil. She probably hasn’t even touched a croissant for the past week she’s been there.

juli ᡣ𐭩: showing u before TMZ posts it juli ᡣ𐭩: [video attachment] juli ᡣ𐭩: do not freak out. not worth it. juli ᡣ𐭩: ugh i knew this club sucked ass for a reason

You wait for the video to load. It’s almost as blurry and unfocused as the original image she sent, but you can tell she had to zoom in pretty hard to capture what she wanted. It’s two figures with a minimal amount of space between them. One of them is definitely a girl; she has the build of the usual French models. A thin, leggy brunette who has mastered the intricate art of Just Had Sex hair. Perfectly messy, but could never be considered sloppy. She’s wearing a sparkly, tight minidress. The fabric shimmers when the strobe lights pass by her body. The person she’s practically pressed up against is a man. Tall, lean. He’s leaning down, presumably so he can hear her better. When the video clip ends abruptly (someone bumped into Juliette, and the video ends with shaky footage and a loud “putain!”), you replay it. And replay it. And then you play it again, just for good measure.

Each time you watch the stupid video, you find something new to notice. Her red lips brushing against his ear. The way his hand hovers near her hip. The way you’re certain she’s smiling when she speaks, like the smirk of a victor. The exact same self-satisfied, smug grin you sport whenever you get a guy right where you want him. Upon every rewatch, though, one thing remains the same: you’re constantly fixated on him.

Right now, it’s two in the morning in Paris. You know that when you weren’t in this fucked up headspace you’re in right now, you’d be in bed, snuggled underneath your blankets, by 11:30 PM. You know that when you felt your best, you could be in bed, whispering in the dark to the person you felt safest with, at 10:00 PM (at the latest, because you both would have a busy day ahead and needed the rest). He likes sleeping early because he likes being well-rested.

So why the hell is Rin Itoshi at a club right now?

At 9:39 AM, ELLE Japan gets right back on track. Before your editorial shoot for a special anniversary edition of the magazine, they get you to sit down to do a video interview that they plan on posting all over their social media.

“This is a very special edition that will be coming out, and you are not only having the biggest spread dedicated to you, but you’re also going to be on the cover. Knowing this, how are you feeling right now, [Name]? This might be the most high-profile photoshoot you’ve done so far in your career, and that’s saying something. You have quite the impressive resume.”

The ring lights are shining directly in your eye. The stool they have you sitting on for this interview is uncomfortable, and you have to focus on remaining balanced. Your back is perfectly straight, and your hands are folded in your lap. You blink, and you see the video playing in your mind. You have God knows how much makeup caked on right now, and you still have a long day ahead of you. Rin is at a club right now. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl, and they’re basically grinding against each other, and he might just have forgotten all about you.

You smile brightly. At 9:40 AM in Japan, you let everyone know,

“I honestly think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been before in my life! This is a great way to establish a sort of, I guess, new era of my life and my career.”

You turn to face the camera directly, giving them a dazzling view of your pearly whites. “Not trying to rush the process or anything, but I am definitely looking forward to seeing how this will all play out in the future.”

You’re operating on autopilot for the rest of the day. The ELLE shoot wraps up close to noon. You forgo lunch, but knowing you and your tendency to skip meals, Benji refuses to start the car until you eat the lunch his wife packed for you. It’s light and refreshing — they want you to eat well, but they’re not cruel. Even if they want to bring you a feast of a nice, hot, home cooked meal, you’ll eat it out of obligation and then suffer the consequences on set when everyone asks why you’re so bloated. You don’t even taste what you’re consuming.

At 12:30 PM, you hop on the Zoom call and pretend to care about discussing matters such as the lack of personal style affecting the younger generations. Every topic is a trivial topic to you. The only thing worth dissecting is that damn video. You should’ve asked those twenty million subscribers to help you analyze that, instead of nodding along when the YouTuber starts going on a rant about how Shein and other fast fashion brands are ruining everything.

Late in the afternoon, you get another text.

kenyu: So the team wants to host a belated birthday party for me lmao. Team’s planning on having it at 10 tonight kenyu: Sending you the address right now

A party is exactly what you need right now. Endless drinks, no need for rational thinking, and you’ll be (mostly) surrounded by people who think models are all vain and vapid. No one there is going to expect a decent conversation from you, and with the state you’re in, it’s a wonder how all your sentences are even making sense.

You give Kenyu’s next message a like in response. You were expecting a club, but when you click on the address, Maps reveals that it’s residential. Rin is gallivanting around European nightclubs, and meanwhile, the best you can do are house parties. This is how the future is playing out?

At least even at your worst, people still think you’re on top of the world.

Maybe life without a man dragging you down and invading your space is for the best. After all, once you got done with all your professional obligations, it’s only eight at night. You’re used to going out with whatever makeup they did for you on set at your last shoot of the day, which is a shame. You have shelves full of makeup that’s been sent to you by different brands, and one of these nights, you plan on just messing around at your vanity.

You like living alone, you decide. You can leave all the lights on if you want, and no one complains about it hurting their eyes. You have full control of the thermostat. You don’t have to fight for counter space in the bathroom. Plus, no one can see how you’re living.

At 9:13 PM, you’re sprawled on the cool marble floor of your bathroom (squeaky clean thanks to the housekeeper you have come once a week), and instead of rewatching that dreadful video and subsequently crying, you had a quick retail therapy session. Your new Prada heels should be coming within the next two days.

You don’t get Benji to drive you. Nobody bats an eye at a rich girl having a driver, but it does seem kind of weird to have him drop you off at a party as if you're a tween girl getting taken to the mall. If the house is owned by one of Yukimiya’s teammates, surely it won’t be too awkward if you had to leave it there because you got too drunk to drive yourself back home?

Because — no offense to Yuki, you’re happy he’s getting another birthday celebration — the whole point of even going to this party is to get fucked up. You already know that Juliette had a point — if not TMZ, then at least Daily Mail will be all over Rin and that girl in the club. If that gets leaked, then you might as well have your own headline to combat his. Sure, lately you’ve been out partying, but that was with other models so it doesn’t raise too many eyebrows. Rin being caught at a club is basically him hard launching the breakup. You need to raise some speculation on your side of things, too.

you: can you get someone to pick up my car from this address tomorrow morning? you: please :)

When you see three dots appear, you smile for real. You can practically hear her sigh and see the shake of her head.

Fumiko Gima: Yes. Fumiko Gima: Be safe.

Aw, maybe your manager does have a heart. Right before you can send her a heart, she adds:

Fumiko Gima: Don’t stay out too late. You have your first shoot at 8 AM.

This is the message you give a heart reaction to. Maybe everything really is just business with her.

You suppose you can’t fault Fumiko for always seeming cold. She’s your manager, not your best friend.

In this industry, her honesty is refreshing. You normally find this to be the case, but you really feel it now when you step into the mansion and hear a cacophony of laughter swarming you from all sides. At every turn, there’s a celebrity with a drink in hand. Everyone’s leaning towards each other, as if they’re so captivated with the other’s words.

You see an actor leading a stumbling model up the spiral staircase. To your side, you see a baseball player chatting up the daughter of one of the baseball league’s board members. Upstairs, someone’s probably snorting a line off Yukimiya’s teammate’s bathroom counter. There are only three reasons why people in your social circle attend these parties: to get fucked, to get fucked up, or to make business deals. Considering the fact that you’ve been here for nearly five minutes and have yet to see a birthday cake — or the belated birthday boy himself — you’re pretty sure everyone here has lot the damn plot for the original celebration.

When you venture some more, you end up in the massive backyard. Some people are drunkenly making out in the pool, some people are watching them, and in a table in the corner, you spot a group of girls giggling and cheering as they all do shots. Perfect. This is exactly where you need to be.

One’s a model; you’ve seen her on a couple pages you flipped through in Harper’s Bazaar. You go up to the table and give her a bright smile.

“Hey, girl! Or should I say Miss Bazaar?” You greet her like how you think people would tease a friend. She’s not your friend; you don’t even know her name. You know she knows your name — everyone here does. And it’s because of the fact that everyone knows you that she lights up when she realizes you’re speaking to her.

A photo op with you guarantees that even if the headline coming out tomorrow is centered on you, she’ll still be in the frame. Daily Mail will add a caption naming everybody from left to right, and she’s planning on being the one captured right next to you.

“[Name]!” She squeals, giving you a quick side hug. “How have you been?”

All your friends, the grand total of exactly two people, know how you’ve been. You grin, pointing to the bottle of tequila they have on their table.

“After how this day has been, I honestly just need a shot.” You play it off like a joke, and as someone pours you one, you add, “Or maybe like five.” They all giggle before throwing back the tequila straight. They might think you’re joking, but this table full of strangers are the first people you’ve been honest with all day.

At 12:15 AM, they aren’t strangers anymore. In fact, you think they might be your best friends in the whole world. You don’t know the lyrics to the rap song blaring through the bass boosted speakers, but you’re laughing as you take another shot. The Harper’s Bazaar girl is doing another shot with you, but she has her phone in her other hand. She makes sure that the both of you are in the frame together, and a second later, she’s tagging you in an Instagram story you don’t bother to view. You’re not even following her.

“Okay, so out of all the guys here, who looks the most fuckable?” One of the girls leans on the table for support as she asks this question. You can’t help but notice how glittery her lipgloss is. Wow, even after all the shots she’s taken, there’s no transfer. Impressive. “I say Theo Sachs.”

��Who the fuck is Theo Sachs?” Harper’s Bazaar asks, and the whole entire table giggles. Honestly, at parties like these, laughing comes easy. In fact, you’re giggling right with them, even though you also have no fucking clue who Theo is. There’s just something so freeing in tequila-induced joy.

“Um, the host of this party?” Glittery Lipgloss says. “Oh my God, girl, he’s like, one of the players for Bastard.”

“The fuck is Bastard?” Another girl asks, adjusting her blue minidress.

“The soccer team!” Glittery Lipgloss is too drunk to be fed up, but you’re sure she would be rolling her eyes if she could.

“I didn’t know we had soccer players here. I only saw baseball players.” Blue Minidress frowns, before adding, “I would totally fuck one of the baseball boys, though. No preference whatsoever. Matter of fact, I could take the whole team.”

Harper’s Bazaar laughs. “What about you, [Name]? Who are you taking home tonight?”

Before you can think of something to say, Glittery Lipgloss groans. “Oh my God, she has a boyfriend.” She looks at you for confirmation. You don’t give her any, but thankfully Blue Minidress has her own insight to add to this conversation.

“So what the fuck does that have to do with her question? [Name], who are you taking home tonight?”

Nobody. Out of every party you’ve gone to this past month, you went back home, completely and utterly alone each and every time. It’s not even because nobody offered — they have — but because no matter how lonely you may get or feel, you don’t like strangers in your space. It took you three months of dating Rin to let him into the penthouse you were originally staying in, and that was with you being in love with him.

Once again, you’re saved from answering when someone behind you goes, “[Name]?”

You turn around, only to come face to face with Yoichi Isagi. On second thought, maybe this isn’t the rescue you thought it was. Drunk You can’t hold back your frown when you see him. He’s wearing a dark blue polo shirt and chinos. He looks perfectly business casual and could pass off as an off-the-clock investment banker instead of the world class athlete you’ve heard he is. Then you let out a little snort of laughter, which only makes him look more confused. You don’t want to tell him that it’s kind of funny how normal he looks.

Not in a bad way. You’re surrounded by models for practically the whole day. Looking unattainably hot or having ethereal beauty is the one non-negotiable job requirement. Even Rin, with his stupidly long lower lashes and impossibly high cheekbones and his pretty boy resting sulking face, is serving standards some male models can’t achieve. Isagi looks like the type of guy you would have a crush on if the two of you were completely normal and attended regular high school together.

But that’s not the reality you’re living in. Right now, you’re getting drunk with girls you don’t know, and every night, you’re making headlines. He’s a professional athlete that everyone at this table would gladly fuck just for a chance to be declared social media’s favorite WAG of the Week. The both of you could have your pick of anyone at this party, but you refuse to let anyone in, and you think Isagi might be one of those intense athletes who only care about their sport.

If that’s the case, he’s doing every girl a favor by not pretending he can commit to anything but soccer. You know someone who could use a few pointers.

“Hi,” you mumble, and then you want to slap yourself because why the fuck are you acting like you’re nervous? But for some reason, you feel like you're a kid caught with their grimy hand in the cookie jar, like you’re doing something wrong.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Well, it’s Kenny’s birthday party. Of course, I’d be here.” You cross your arms against your chest, feeling like you have something to prove. Before Yukimiya became his teammate, Kenyu was your friend first. Like, real friend, not just someone you leave supportive comments on their Instagram post type of friend.

Isagi actually smiles when he hears that. “Funny. I think everyone but Yukimiya actually wants to be here.”

You sober up a bit when you hear that. “Yeah, I couldn’t find him anywhere.” Not that you looked very hard. The minute you found this table of girls, you didn’t bother exploring the rest of the mansion.

“He was upstairs with some of the guys. You know that he, uh, doesn’t really like these types of parties.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

“You don’t seem like the type to like these parties either.” If he was anyone else, you’d be saying this to flirt. You’re honestly not sure what your intention behind this comment was, either. You’re too drunk to decide if you wanted it to be an insult (some way to defend Yukimiya’s behavior?) or just you trying to make conversation for once (you’re not normally one for small talk).

“Caught me.” Isagi smiles easily. From now and thinking back to Yukimiya’s birthday lunch, Isagi is rarely not smiling. You wonder if he means it. Surrounded by people who only let you drink with them because being seen with you elevates their own status, you decide that the answer to that is a probably not. “I was about to head out before I thought I saw you, and I wanted to come by and…” For a second, he pauses to choose the right words to say. “Just wanted to see if it really was you.”

“Well, you saw me. Guess your business is done here.” Then you swiftly turn your back to him, as if to abruptly end the conversation. Instead, you’re drunker than you realize, and your heel ends up being wedged deeper into the grass than you expected, and you lose your balance. You think you might fall, which would be so embarrassing, but maybe not as embarrassing as what actually ends up happening.

What actually ends up happening is that Isagi is quick to wrap his arm around your abdomen, pulling you close to him as he attempts to keep you steady and upright. The girls looked shocked, but then they burst into another round of giggles, and since you’re not joining in the laughter, all you can think about is how annoying they are. You squirm around in his grasp, ignoring the whiff of fresh laundry you get from being all up in his personal space (not by choice!!!; he’s the one that pulled you in, after all!), and he releases you.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks you. It’s hard to glare at him when he looks so genuinely concerned.

“Never better.”

“Do you have a ride home?”

What does it matter to you? Is what you want to say.

“I’ll call an Uber.” You lie, hoping that this will end the conversation once and for all. Seriously, Isagi just killed the whole vibe of the party for you. You want to go back to drinking.

“But I thought you didn’t do Ubers.” When Isagi calls you out on your bullshit, you soften momentarily. You almost forgot that he heard about your weird thing of having strangers know your home address. Then, you go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Sometimes, it’s a warm and gooey feeling to be known. Right now, you want to drown your sorrows in tequila and be showered with fake affection by girls who probably don’t even like you sober. You didn’t come to this party to be known. You came here for revenge.

(You’re not going to acknowledge how drinking your sadness away isn’t necessarily showing up Rin, but for nearly an hour straight, you hadn’t thought about him, and that’s good enough.)

When you have no response to that (wit doesn’t come easy when you’re in the condition you’re in right now), Isagi looks at you imploringly.

“Let me take you home.”

You shake your head childishly, almost saying nuh-uh. “Just because you don’t like this party doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I’m staying right here.”

He finally frowns. “Fine. I’ll wait for you to finish up here, then I’ll take you home.”

“I’m with my friends right now. Leave me alone.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Really? Which friend is going to make sure you get home safely? Yukimiya already left early.” Despite the two of you not knowing what the other is thinking, you both give wry smiles about that statement for the same reason. The party is still going on strong, despite the guest of honor not wanting to show his face and leaving early.

“These are my best friends.” You gesture to the trio of girls you know nothing about, besides the fact that they can keep up with your drinking habits. They all smile at Isagi, who waves back before turning his attention back to you.

“Really?” He asks. “What’re their names again?”

No one has anything to say to that, especially you. When the silence gets too awkward, Isagi clears his throat and also puts his foot down.

“I’m taking you home, [Name].”

You look at the trio of strangers you just spent hours with. Harper’s Bazaar shrugs, and the other two look away. The sting of not knowing who they are, despite them obviously having enough notoriety to be invited, makes your “best friends” not your friends anymore. Whatever.

“Fine.” You grumble, following Isagi to his car.

“Did you have fun tonight?” Is what he asks you as he signals to make a turn. The clicking of the turn signal is the only thing that fills the silence in the car.

No.

Sometimes, it’s fun in the moment, but that’s only when you’re drunk enough to trick yourself into thinking you’re having a good time. You’re more like Yukimiya (and — gross — Isagi) than they know; the whole “It Girl dominates the party scene” vibe you’ve got going on… It’s just bullshit that your PR team mixes together to get people talking. The high of being adored by everyone in a room vanishes almost immediately the minute you go home and wash off your makeup. In the bright lights of your bathroom, you stare at the sad, lonely girl in the mirror. It’s too dark outside for you to see anything out the window, but you lean your head against the cool glass, and before you know it, you’re waking up…

To Isagi groping you?

You’re groggy and confused and trying to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes, but Yoichi Isagi is definitely all up on you. You’re shocked, honestly. He looks like such a sweet guy! No wonder he was so pushy in getting you home.

He’s holding you in some awkward side hug, and he’s patting down your waist, trying to slip his fingers through the fabric of your dress, and finally, because he must be a novice-level pervert who doesn’t know the first thing about female anatomy, you speak up.

“Gross! You can’t even feel up a girl properly! No wonder you take advantage of drunk, vulnerable girls!”

“Ah!” He jerks back, shocked that you’re awake. Serves the pervert right. He should be backing up. You took a month of kickboxing classes (your modeling agency thought it would be the next big thing, since all the Victoria Secret models kickbox — they were wrong). “I-I wasn’t feeling you up!”

“Then why were your hands all over me?”

“I was looking for your key! You were asleep, and you looked like you needed it, so I just carried you to your door, but it’s locked.”

Oh. Likely story. You’re not letting him off the hook just yet.

“Obviously my front door would be locked, dumbass. Who doesn’t lock their house?” You point to the perfectly trimmed hedges by your door. “Key’s in the bushes.”

Since you’re making no moves to get down on your knees and rifle through the bushes, Isagi sighs and does it himself. When he holds up the key, you nod in thanks, take it, and then proceed to unlock the door using your fingerprint.

He blinks. “What?”

“What?” You repeat back, innocently.

“You didn’t even need the key to unlock the door!”

“Yes, Isagi. Modern technology is something, isn’t it?” And because you feel kind of bad, you offer him the chance to wash up before driving back.

“You’re really something, you know that?” Isagi says from the kitchen sink. You’re sitting on a stool by the counter.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing bad.” He clarifies. “It’s just… Rin’s a pretty private person. We always wondered what his girlfriend must be like. Sorry.” He shuts off the faucet, dries his hands. “Ex-girlfriend, I guess.”

“How do you know that?” You’ve been racking your brain, wondering if Yuki spilled your secret accidentally. Or — even worse — Rin himself confirmed it. Rin never even told anyone explicitly that the two of you were dating, so it’s not plausible that he would go blab about the breakup.

“Well, I didn’t really know for sure until I drove you home that first time.” He admits. “I just thought you made a weird face when I mentioned Rin during lunch, and then you started acting funny afterwards. Just had a hunch, that’s all.”

Great. So, Isagi, who’s basically a stranger to you, could read you to filth. Is there anyone else that you haven’t been fooling? How embarrassing. Being perceived sucks.

You don’t say anything else. You can hear Isagi mumbling about something, and you make a half-hearted noise in reply, but you’re sleepy and drunk and coming to the realization that you can’t keep fooling everyone around for long. There’s no point in dancing around the topic of your breakup. It’s getting tiring, anyway.

It is pretty exhausting to be pining after someone who’s not coming back.

Because that’s why you’re trying so hard to keep the breakup a secret. Partly for pride, but mostly because… You’re hoping that after learning everything there is to know about you, Rin Itoshi wouldn’t go so far to cut you so deeply by leaving you. Right? He understood your level of loneliness like no one else, and he related to it. For the first time in both of your lives, the two of you suddenly found the right person to fill in all the empty spaces.

And then he left, and the emptiness just continues to grow in infinite amounts.

You groan as you move around, only to find that you’re moving on top of your bed. You’re tucked into your sheets, and your hair is splayed across your pillow. You turn your head and see a shadowy figure exiting out your bedroom door.

“You’re leaving, too?”

Your throat is dry, and the words come out small. You hate this feeling of hopelessness and vulnerability, and the figure pauses in his steps.

He hushes you gently. “You should go to sleep. You’ve had a long night.”

“Fine. Don’t stay. I don’t care.” You burrow yourself further into your blankets.

“Do you really want me to stay?”

At one in the morning, covered in the darkness of your bedroom, you turn every shadow into Rin Itoshi. You don’t know what you mumble in response, but you know that whatever you said, it’s directed towards him.

#yoichi isagi x reader #yoichi isagi x you #isagi x reader #one shot #fluff #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #rin itoshi x reader #smau #series: if you feel like falling

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jeeyonshim · 1 month ago

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"Games are not static objects. They are texts that contain processes of becoming, of embodiment. Like any art form, when a participant connects deeply with a game, it contains worlds unto itself. The more people we can invite into those worlds, the richer the art becomes for everyone. A game that opens its doors to a broader range of players and considers accessibility, availability, and approachability in thoughtful ways is a game that expands more of its horizons. It grows larger, more complex, more humane. It reminds us that inclusion is not about making things simpler, but about making them possible to begin with." New essay release for all members is scheduled for my Patreon tomorrow morning! If you'd like to read a practical approach to discussing accessibility in game design, feel free to join at any level (including the free member level). If you want the pretty PDF zine version though, be sure to join at the Seed ($3/mo) level or higher!

#jeeyon shim games #dirtgoblin community center #patreon

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notherpuppet · 3 months ago

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So I just got your pdf+zip file of MDN from kofi (and already reread the damn thing-that “hooker!” panel in MA cracks me up beyond belief), and I’m wondering if, (when this new chapter(?) is finished) it will:

be added (requiring a new download)

‘sold’ separately (a second download)

or neither until more chapters added for a later decision?

Either way, I’m going feral over the new teaser and am so excited!

hi! so i make all of this pretty much on a whim! lol

the reason i made a compilation is because i found out i've made like 100 pages of artwork for the same AU, which was crazyyyy to me. i figured it would be good to put it all in one spot.

as for more comics, there is absolutely nooooo schedule because i create it for funzies and in my free time. so yeah!

i have a bajillion ideas for the au tho and i have zero plans on stopping. again, it's super fun and a great way for me to unwind after work (and many times at work lol).

if/when i make another 100-ish pages of art for that au, i'll make another compilation pdf. So it won't be added in addition to this last one. Probably would be like a "volume 2" situation if/when I even produce that much material. but you can always expect updates for it to be posted here and on my twitter whenever I do finish stuff for it. :)

Thank you so much for reading it!! I love sharing it!!

#answers

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aktyzine · 5 months ago

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⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ PREORDERS ARE NOW OPEN⋆⁺₊⋆

Preorders for ECLIPSE: An AkiToya Zine are now open from June 15th to July 31st!

⋆ ★ EU/UK ONLY: https://aktyeclipse.etsy.com

⋆ ★ Everywhere else worldwide: https://aktyzine.bigcartel.com/

Check out our bundles below the cut!

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ FIRST CONTACT SPECIAL⋆⁺₊⋆

In the first 48 hours, get our TOTAL ECLIPSE bundle at a special discounted price!

Make sure to catch it before it’s too late! We will have a limited amount of these special bundles.

This will last until JUNE 17TH, 11:59PM EST!

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ TOTAL ECLIPSE - DELUXE FULL BUNDLE ($75 USD) ⋆⁺₊⋆

Includes physical zine (+ digital PDF) and ALL merch:

4 4x6” Postcards

2 Photocards

1 Photostrip

3 Die-cut Stickers

1 Sticker Sheet

2 Holo Tickets

1 Lanyard

2 PVC Fans

1 Acrylic Charm

2 Downloadable Icons

This bundle is eligible for stretch goals.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ SAROS - FLAT FULL BUNDLE ($55 USD) ⋆⁺₊⋆

Includes physical zine (+ digital PDF) and all FLAT merch:

4 4x6” Postcards

2 Photocards

1 Photostrip

3 Die-cut Stickers

1 Sticker Sheet

2 Holo Tickets

2 Downloadable Icons

This bundle is eligible for stretch goals.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ SUNSET - FLAT MERCH BUNDLE ($35 USD) ⋆⁺₊⋆

Doesn’t include physical zine or PDF of zine, just includes all of the flat merch:

4 4x6” Postcards

2 Photocards

1 Photostrip

3 Die-cut Stickers

1 Sticker Sheet

2 Holo Tickets

2 Downloadable Icons

This bundle is NOT eligible for stretch goals.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ MOONRISE - HALF BUNDLE ($40 USD) ⋆⁺₊⋆

Includes physical zine (+ digital PDF) and the following merch:

2 4x6” Postcards

2 Photocards

1 Photostrip

1 Die-cut Sticker

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This bundle is eligible for stretch goals.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ WAXING CRESCENT - ZINE ONLY ($25 USD) ⋆⁺₊⋆

Includes:

Physical Zine

Digital PDF Zine

2 Downloadable Icons

This is NOT eligible for stretch goals.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ NEW MOON - DIGITAL ONLY ($15 USD) ⋆⁺₊⋆

Doesn’t include anything physical, just the digital PDF and the downloadable icons!

This is NOT eligible for stretch goals.

⋆ ★ The PDF will be emailed to the address provided once shipping for all physical products begins.

ORDER NOTES ⋆ ★

All items are available for PREORDER. Manufacturing will begin in August, then shipping will begin ASAP. Digital PDFs will be sent out once the shipping period begins.

We will post updates on our social media!

Please note that all Etsy orders are ONLY For the EU/UK region. Any non-EU/UK orders through Etsy will be refunded and we will contact you regarding your order. All orders for other regions must go through our Bigcartel.

⋆ ★ The ECLIPSE Mod Team is so excited to present the result of our hard work! Thanks for continuing to support ECLIPSE and we hope you like the zine! We couldn’t have gotten here without our lovely contributors!

Information

⋆ ★ Retrospring: https://retrospring.net/@aktyzine

⋆ ★ Schedule: https://aktyzine.carrd.co/#schedule

Please e-mail us at aktyzine(@)gmail(.)com if you have any private questions!

#zine preorders #akitoya #project sekai #project sekai zine #fan zine #charity zine #akty #akitouya

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gender-trash · 10 months ago

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(i am seriously late in posting about this due to The Problems BUT whatever! its here now!!)

somewhere around late november 2022, i asked my dad "hey are there any out of print technical books you'd like a reprint of for christmas?"

he linked me to a dubious black-and-white pdf of Foundations of Mechanical Accuracy. now, i wound up checking out a copy through link+, and the original edition is a really nicely put together book! the chapters are themed around various types of measurements (length, angle, etc), and they all have these cute little diagrams which the endpapers reuse in a lil repeating pattern... the image captions are done in this really lovely dark red that did not scan for SHIT... tons and tons of diagrams and illustrations and images (both color and b&w)... just, all around, a fucking nice book!! (see also @morrak's post about it here.)

and that made me feel kind of bad about the crappiness of the pdf, which is where the Problems began. i used my phone to take pictures of all the photos and color diagrams in the original and went about replacing them in the pdf, using what turned out to be the world's worst pdf editing software (i also got through replacing all the image captions in chapter 1 of 5 before my dad convinced me to give up). i did NOT finish the pdf editing before christmas 2022 (i was going somewhat off the deep end, because both my housemates were away visiting family and i had zero external structure in my life so it was just me and my cat and this stupid FUCKING pdf wrecking my sleep schedule together); i poked away at it for most of the rest of my time off and then got so goddamn sick of it i put the project away for months. "it'll be a birthday gift instead", i said optimistically (my dad's birthday is in april! it should have been enough time!)

gentle readers, i did not finish the pdf editing by april. mostly because it was such a miserable slog that i put it off until the last possible moment and then tried to make up for it with another death march.

hating both myself and the project again, i decided i was Not going to let myself typeset Anything Else before it was done, and then took a break to bind my immortal (using the renegade publishing typeset! i didn't do any typesetting!!). SURELY, i said, i can finish this in time for christmas 2023.

i'm sure you know where this is going.

in my defense i DID finish the pdf editing by christmas, despite first doing every other possible procrastination project (including a second edition of the little second century warlord book), because by this point my dad had managed to convince me to lower my standards. on the evening of the 22nd i kicked off the print job and said to myself "this will finish printing overnight and then tomorrow i can work on sewing the textblock!"

late on the 23rd, after lots of babysitting and using at least one cartridge of every color ink in my printer, the print job was finally done. (my sweet and lovely cat wants SO BADLY to hunt and stalk the printer while it is printing -- more specifically, the printed pages, i think because they tend to make noise and move and then STOP moving. for this reason, the printer is kept in the craft room, because the cat can be shut out of the craft room and thus prevented from chewing on the pages when i have an all-day book printing job going. unfortunately the craft room was also being pressed into service as a guest room at the time so 80% of the floor space was consumed by an air mattress which i had to repeatedly trip over in order to reach the printer and replace the ink cartridges.)

then i went to my parents' house on the 24th and 25th and apologized to my dad (again) for not having the book finished. but this worked out well because we finished putting together my awesome new book clamp:

(the feet still aren't done being painted so they're just dry-fit on for now but you can still clamp books in it and that's what matters!!)

i came home, sewed the textblock (french link stitch over four linen tapes, with sewn endbands made of variegated embroidery floss over linen cord, and kozo paper glued over the spine)

... and promptly realized i SHOULD HAVE PUT IN MORE OF A GUTTER because some of the text was getting reeeeeeal close to the spine. "it's fine!" i said. "i just have to make sure it lays flat!! what better time than to try out K118 binding, a technique i have literally never done before and which people on the bookbinding discord notoriously have a hard time pulling off first try! i even have tyvek tape for it!"

so it turns out that tyvek tape isn't actually tyvek with glue on it, it's tape FOR attaching pieces of tyvek TO EACH OTHER, which maybe i could have guessed if i'd done even the slightest amount of research or planning. at this point i think it was the 27th and i was still angling to get this thing done by new year's, so no time to order Actual Tyvek.

fortunately, i had ALSO received An Package in the mail with yarn for a totally unrelated knitting project... shipped in a tyvek envelope.

i peeled all the shipping labels and stickers off my tyvek envelope, cut that shit up, and glued it on there.

and THEN it was time for gluing on covers, which i thought was going to be easy because i had actually thought ahead and ordered materials (specifically acid-free museum board), except when i cracked open the box of museum board i decided i Didn't Like It because the surface was too soft and easily dented, so i glued onto it the too-thin board material i'd previously been using (so that the cardboard goes on the outside of the book). this worked super well (the cardboard stuff has a tendency to curl up from the glue moisture, but the museum board doesn't!) and i'll probably use it on other stuff in the future.

i thought the blue bookcloth i used was kind of boring but i showed my dad the available cloth options and he really liked it, so... what do you know? i cut the piece i used on the back cover very slightly too short but it wound up being covered by the leather, so you can barely tell.

and the leather... a scrap just baaaaarely big enough from my bag of leather scraps from discount fabrics... and this the first time i'd ever attempted to put leather on a book... AND YET the only complaint i have is that i didn't manage to put an even amount on the front and back. it's reasonably square and straight!! amazing!!

i am super super happy with how this project came out (especially given the number of problems i encountered) and oh my god check out how much the spine bends

AND, AS A NEW YEAR'S PRESENT, I FINALLY MANAGED TO GIVE IT TO MY DAD

#and promptly got sick after i got home from my parents' house.#which is part of why this post was so long delayed #the trashcan speaks #devil venerable also wants to exploit the memoir class for evil purposes #bookbinding

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prodbyton · 3 months ago

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──★who’s that girl? chapter 14: the long game

m.list | prev | next

a/n: the taesan chaeryeong subplot getting some attention 🙂‍↕️ how long do we think yn is gonna ignore jaehyun before she folds 🤭 cuz me personally i would fold in 2 seconds

++ since im working full time again updates are going to be a little different and not on a set schedule!! but ill post on the days that im off!!

synopsis: after an unfortunate event, yn needs a new place to stay. she finds a place listed for 5 other people in the apartment, where she meets riwoo, sungho, leehan, taesan, and jaehyun.

send an ask or reply to m.list post to be added to the taglist!

🏷️- @tsandoll @dimplewonie @nujeskz @molensworld @wonpoem @hyukarina @soobiverse @hexnoia @snoopyana @kgyam4 @swaggyjinnie @https-yeonjun @unhakki @sol3chu @whyilovewhales-pdf @petralovesbonedo @upstarhigh @haechology @hanbinniesmango @woorcve @i03jae @onlyhyunjin @evpyzx @tinyelfperson @brachioswrld @indiweb @nctrawberries @rikislady @eternallyhyucks @taeraegyat @ss1ren @horijiro @i1uvc4ke @cyjzzl @love-4-keum @ihrtnyu @kittkyu @adorwooks @onlywonwoorideul @kazscara @sungmincity @lynnimini @jastoo46 @ktzuki @selleprotection

#♡ whos that girl? mjh #boynextdoor #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor scenarios #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor smau #boynextdoor jaehyun x reader #myung jaehyun x reader #myung jaehyun scenarios #myung jaehyun imagines #myung jaehyun smau #bnd x reader #bnd imagines #bnd scenarios #bnd smau #bnd jaehyun x reader #bnd jaehyun imagines #bnd jaehyun smau #bnd jaehyun scenarios

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anim-ttrpgs · 5 months ago

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Yet another A.N.I.M. interview! This time with the podcast Not DnD!

In a way, this is the biggest A.N.I.M. interview yet, because it features the largest number of members of our team in a single interview to date! @ashweather and I go over some more of the design philosophy of Eureka, while @chaospyromancy, never before seen on a TTRPG interview, explains her approach to the art direction of much of the rulebook, and where she takes inspiration from for it!

This was a very fun interview and the hostess was very fun to talk to, check it out!

Don’t forget also that we are driving towards a patreon goal for June! If we can get (and, importantly, keep) 50+ paid patreon subscribers, we will be adding one of the unmet stretch goals from the Kickstarter to Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy! That stretch goal is a new type of playable monster, the gorgon! Signing up to our patreon(link) will not only help us (and everyone else who wants to play as a gorgon), it will get you access to so much more! Regularly released beta versions of the rulebook full of new content, adventure modules, short stories, etc.!

If this interview made you want to give Eureka a shot, but you can’t afford the $5/month patreon subscription, then you’re in luck! You can get a free beta copy of the rulebook right now by joining the A.N.I.M. TTRPG book club! Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is the current game we are playing in there for the next few sessions! Join now, and there will probably still be slots for you join in and play! If not, you can pick up a free PDF anyway to read along and listen in to play sessions! Here's the invite link! https://discord.gg/gGdbGfr8F5

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. If you’re just now reading this and learning about Eureka for the first time, you missed the crowdfunding window unfortunately, but our Kickstarter page is still the best place to learn more about what Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy actually is, as that is where we have all the fancy art assets, the animated trailer, links to video reviews by podcasts and youtubers, and where we post regular updates on the status of our progress finishing the game and getting it ready for final release.

Beta Copies through the Patreon

If you want more than just status updates, going forward you can download regularly updated playable beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy and it’s adventure modules by subscribing to our Patreon at the $5 tier or higher. Subscribing to our patreon also grants you access to our patreon discord server where you can talk to us directly and offer valuable feedback on our progress and projects.

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

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gumjrop · 25 days ago

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Make your voice heard and ask the CDC to:

Recommend COVID vaccines for all ages and health statuses at least twice a year (spring vaccine access for all) AND

Support more frequent updates to the vaccines, adjusted for the latest variants.

Submit a public comment using our sample language below.

The committee is anticipated to vote on the following topic on day 1 of the meeting (October 23): “Use of additional doses of COVID-19 vaccine in immunocompromised individuals and older adults following an initial dose of 2024–2025 vaccine”

Your comments make a difference. At this committee’s June 2024 meeting, public comments from our community led to the committee’s decision to make fall COVID vaccines available to people of all ages, rather than limiting eligibility to specific risk groups. Please join us in making your voice heard for spring COVID vaccine access for all, and at least twice a year access going forward.

Submit Written Comment

You can also register to give Oral Public Comment at the upcoming online CDC ACIP Meeting October 23-24 at: https://www2.cdc.gov/vaccines/acip/acip_publiccomment.asp

Submit written comments and/or register to make oral comments at the meeting by Friday October 18 at 11:59pm Eastern Standard Time.

It’s important to submit a personalized comment, which can be brief. Ideas for a personalized comment:

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Docket No. CDC-2024-0072-0001 COVID vaccination at least twice a year (at least every six months) must be recommended for people of all ages, regardless of health status. A restrictive approach to eligibility creates undue barriers for vulnerable people and discourages high risk people from getting needed vaccine boosters. People of all ages, including those who are aged 65 and older or immunocompromised, should have the opportunity to receive another COVID vaccine in the spring of 2025. The vaccine schedule should address waning efficacy in the months following vaccination [1-3] as well as emergence of new SARS-CoV-2 strains by recommending updated vaccination for all ages, at least every six months. Waning efficacy is seen with all COVID vaccine types, and recent research into the biological mechanisms of waning [4] supports that this effect occurs regardless of age or immunocompromised status. Recent vaccination is associated with a lower risk of developing Long COVID following a COVID infection [5] as well as a lower risk of Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome in children (MIS-C) [6]. The CDC’s clear and unequivocal recommendation of COVID vaccination at least twice a year for all ages will influence recommendations by healthcare providers, and coverage by health insurance. Moreover, it will improve public awareness in people of all ages about the importance of recent vaccination (within the last six months) to provide the best protection as part of a multilayered approach to preventing illness. The CDC must ensure equitable and affordable access to updated vaccines and prevent limited access because of financial constraints or demographics. The CDC’s Bridge vaccine access program ended in August 2024 [7], leaving many uninsured and underinsured adults without COVID vaccine access. We ask you to advocate for free COVID vaccine access for all of us to reduce barriers and hesitation to vaccination. References: 1. Link-Gelles R. Effectiveness of COVID-19 (2023-2024 Formula) vaccines. Presented at: FDA VRBPAC Meeting; June 5, 2024. Accessed June 12, 2024. https://www.fda.gov/media/179140/download 2. Wu N, Joyal-Desmarais K, Vieira AM, et al. COVID-19 boosters versus primary series: update to a living review. The Lancet Respiratory Medicine. 2023;11(10):e87-e88. doi:10.1016/S2213-2600(23)00265-5 3. Menegale F, Manica M, Zardini A, et al. Evaluation of Waning of SARS-CoV-2 Vaccine–Induced Immunity: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Netw Open. 2023;6(5):e2310650. doi:10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2023.10650 4. Nguyen DC, Hentenaar IT, Morrison-Porter A, et al. SARS-CoV-2-specific plasma cells are not durably established in the bone marrow long-lived compartment after mRNA vaccination. Nat Med. Published online September 27, 2024:1-10. doi:10.1038/s41591-024-03278-y 5. Fang Z, Ahrnsbrak R, Rekito A. Evidence Mounts That About 7% of US Adults Have Had Long COVID. JAMA. Published online June 7, 2024. doi:10.1001/jama.2024.11370 6. Yousaf AR. Notes from the Field: Surveillance for Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome in Children — United States, 2023. MMWR Morb Mortal Wkly Rep. 2024;73. doi:10.15585/mmwr.mm7310a2 7. https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/programs/bridge/index.html

Full instructions for written and oral comment and meeting information can be found at: https://www.cdc.gov/acip/meetings/

You can also register to give Oral Public Comment at the upcoming online CDC ACIP Meeting October 23-24 at: https://www2.cdc.gov/vaccines/acip/acip_publiccomment.asp

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Full Statement:

Vaccination with the latest updated vaccines continues to be foundational to a multilayered approach to COVID, providing protection against both acute disease and Long COVID. Far too few Americans have received the latest vaccines. As of October 11, 2024, only 11.2% of all adults and 26.7% of adults aged 65 and older had received an updated 2024-2025 COVID vaccine. Data for children were unavailable at the time of this writing (October 15, 2024). COVID vaccination rates continue to lag behind influenza vaccination rates. As of July 27, 2024, only 9% of adults aged 65 and older received the recommended two doses of last year’s 2023-2024 vaccine.

Vaccine efficacy wanes significantly four to six months following vaccination, making updated vaccination important for all people as COVID continues to spread in our communities. Vaccine approaches that restrict access based on age or risk status put all of us at risk and leave those at high risk of severe consequences of COVID infection confused about whether they qualify to receive additional doses. These high risk patients may also face barriers as vaccine providers misunderstand the guidelines. A more frequent vaccination approach providing vaccination at least every six months as well as frequent updates to match current variants is needed to better protect all of us amid year-round COVID spread.

Recent vaccination is associated with a lower risk of developing Long COVID following a COVID infection as well as a lower risk of Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome in children (MIS-C). Waning efficacy is seen with all COVID vaccine types, and recent research into the biological mechanisms of waning supports that this effect occurs regardless of age or immunocompromised status.

The CDC’s Bridge Access Program, which previously provided COVID vaccines to uninsured and underinsured adults free of charge, ended in August 2024. The end of this program without replacement coverage puts people at risk, and public health officials must advocate for free vaccine access for all of us, including those who are uninsured and underinsured.

Submitted written comments or registration to make oral comments at the meeting must be received by the CDC no later than October 18 at 11:59pm Eastern Standard Time

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scamallach-1 · 2 months ago

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When fellow “US” settlers tell each other that they wanna learn about indigenous decolonial land back here on this land but then spend time making an issue about their time, saying they don’t really have time to educate themselves, my autistic ass is at a loss. Cus I’m stumped. You say you want to learn and then when provided with resources your regular response is that you don’t have time? I see it constantly, this excuse. In comment sections when people ask questions and then claim they don’t have time to read the answer; in my own circle when my fellows blab about things they don’t know and then when presented with correct answers and sources, they get quiet and say they just haven’t had time to look into it (yet that doesn’t quiet their mouths on shit they don’t know). We settlers need to ask ourselves right now what we are willing to change for the greater good. If you make a bed from selfishness then expect to sleep in it, I think.

I can’t make other people work decolonial edu into their schedules, I can only send them the resources directly from where I myself am learning about decolonization: the First Nations educators and historians and scholars and Black New Afrikan educators, historians and scholars. If you want to learn about this stuff - and you must - I think it does require making the sacrifices in your daily life necessary for you to be able to do that. Settler-colonialism has us in a chokehold so we need to be more than what it ‘allows’ in order to unlearn it!

I don’t know what other settlers want me to say? Do they want me to be wishy-washy with them about it? Say that whole “if you have time, please consider, sometime…” No, i am not gonna say that because I believe that is bullshit and nothing will get done with that passive attitude.

I do think we working class/poverty class/disabled settlers need to help each other be able to prioritize this education NOW. The indigenous and Black educators we learn from also have jobs, also have children they need to care for, have personal responsibilities and important things to do - and have active genocides against their people. They believe full-heartedly in working toward decolonial land back because of course they do. This is their lives, and not just individual by individual. They’re working for their people’s liberation in the face of settler-colonial genocides!

And so when we look at our work and school and family schedules - as settlers, no different in status than the “Israeli” settler occupying Palestine - and we prioritize our own overwhelm when we are asked to make the fucking space and take the fucking time for this imperative education, so we can be ready accomplices to decolonial action in the coming years, you gotta know how fucked up that is. We should no longer snap into this typical self-serving behavior!

No, I’m not going to say anything less than what I believe is factual, based on the edu ive so far learned from the indigenous and Black liberationists who are telling us, with their radical perspective and wisdom, what we need to do and how we should go about it, even as potential settler accomplices. Prioritize decolonial edu. Make fucking room.

We settlers should all help each other to accomplish this. Plenty of settlers like me with learning disabilities are out there trying to encourage others and make it easier for people to read the histories and theories. People break this information down for you so you can learn it in different ways (audiobook recordings, forum discussions, infographics that take a couple min to read, key histories in “less than 6 minutes”, YouTube interviews and discussions, podcast discussions, free book banks with PDFs, free articles). We have different ways of learning and in different stretches of time available - I really think what matters is that you work to get it done regardless of daily constraint. Show some solidarity. Working class settlers are not the center of the oppressed under settler-colonialism. We are the settler-colonialism. We must actually work to dismantle it by following FN leadership.

The idea that anything liberating and meaningful just falls into someone’s hands is a white supremacist lie.

What I wish is that in my circle at least, fellow settlers would say “I want to learn this but it’s hard and I need help, will you help me?” — to which I would do all I can in order to ensure they can learn. I have more time than others do because I work only part time due to my disability - but that is time I have to give to discuss, share, read-to others (I have dyslexia but I will fucking READ TO YOU because I know how hard it can be!) The point here is, if you begin your edu, you won’t be alone. Reach for support to make it happen and there will be people who will take the endeavor seriously with you.

But you have to be committed to learning this going forward. You have to actually want to begin learning about decolonial land back.

#edit: turned off reblogs cus while I’m relieved to see people get what I mean by this I just don’t wanna be loud #listen to indigenous people when you’re on their land #begin media literacy and political edu!#decolonial land back #settler arrogance #decolonial edu #settler chauvinism #political edu #and fuck the ‘american left’ when y’all don’t educate yourselves on decolonization #fuck ‘marxist’ settler arrogance #steadfast

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de-fanzine-cpr-pale · 4 months ago

Text

SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN!

To submit your ART go >HERE<.

To submit your WRITING go >HERE<.

SUBMISSIONS ARE DUE October 27th at 11:59 EST (3:59 UTC).

SATURDAY OCTOBER 19, 2024 at 3:59 AM UTC (Coordinated Universal Time).

LINK: DUE DATE TIME AND DATE IN YOUR TIME ZONE

If you need more time, direct message (DM) me on Discord at dr.tycho or on Tumblr @de-fanzine-cpr-pale as soon as possible. Will be less lenient as I have already given a week extension! Thank you for your understanding.

Please do not post your submission publicly online anywhere until the zine is released! Thank you!

~~~

READ BELOW FOR INSTRUCTIONS ON WHAT TO SUBMIT AND HOW

If you are doing mixed media (both art and writing), please fill out both forms!

If you are doing a collaboration (collab), fill out the part of the collaboration you are doing (art if you are the artist, writing if you are the writer).

If you have any questions about submissions or this form, DM me on Discord at dr.tycho or on Tumblr @de-fanzine-cpr-pale as soon as possible.

If you submit something, and you did NOT fill out the sign-up form (I will be cross-checking), I will not accept your submission! Please direct message (DM) at @de-fanzine-cpr-pale or @p0rchc0ll4ps3, and we can figure something out! Sign-ups may be closed, but I will accept anyone who still wants to join who is willing to work on a tighter schedule (I will not be giving you an extension unless certain circumstances come up and are discussed with me).

~~~

General Guidelines

If you do not provide either name or username (neither are required), you will be listed as "Anonymous."

As per the theme of the zine, lyrics should be included in your piece or in the title!

Optional but highly encouraged! Include the theme of past, present, or future in your work. More information below the cut.

Writing must be submitted as a PDF only. The PDF must include only prose. The file name should be USERNAME_NAME_OF_PIECE. Italics must be denoted in game style (*word*).

Art must be submitted as a LINK to your submission from IMGUR or Google Drive. Make sure downloads are allowed. Art must be 300 DPI resolution. Art must be 5400 ⨯ 3633 pixels (A3, landscape) for full spread, 2500 ⨯ 3713 pixels (A4, portrait) for single page, or 2621 ⨯ 3847 pixels (A4, portrait) per page (up to five (5) pages) for comics. File name should be USERNAME_NAME_OF_PIECE.

REMINDER! Sexual NSFW, 18+ and fetish content, and suggestive themes are NOT ALLOWED. We have minors participating in this zine. Submissions found with any of this content will result in a ban from the zine and potential future zines organized by me (k1ll3r-k4rg0 / p0rchc0ll4ps3).

Depictions of heavy topics ARE allowed within reason, but just remember to list them in the provided space on the forms! We are not trying to make an X rated / whump zine, but the game does deal with darker themes. Thank you for your understanding!

Twitter Version HERE

More In-Depth Guidelines and Format Examples Under the Cut

This information is the same as the information found on each form.

THEME OPTION

Does your piece describe past memories, present events, or future hopes and fears? You do not need to strictly adhere to this. These themes are a way to thematically tie everyone's pieces together as well as provide an organization scheme to the zine. This zine is intended to be a scrapbook of memories, after all.

Past relates to things that have happened before the events of the game, memories you or the characters want to preserve or forget. Present relates to events of the game as well as things that happen around those events, the new life that the characters are going into, unexplored territories, and bonds forming and breaking. This is the here and now. Future relates to events that happen way ahead from now. Revolution, for example, or the failure to achieve it. Whatever you may think the characters will be going through in the months and years to come after the main events of the game. Whatever hopes or dreams or fears they may have.

ZINE FORMATTING

The format on the zine will appear as follows:

ARTISTS

SUBMISSION TITLE [submission image] YOUR NAME (your username)

SUBMISSION TITLE YOUR NAME (your username) [submission image]

Content warnings for art will appear at the beginning of the zine (subject to change).

WRITERS

Your Name (your username) Submission Title Word Count Submission Characters + Relationships (if any) Tags (if any) Content Warnings (if any) Submission Summary [submission]

GUIDELINES

>Artists<

You must submit a LINK to your submission from IMGUR or Google Drive. Make sure downloads are allowed.

As per the theme of the zine, lyrics should be included in your piece or in the title!

Art must be 300 DPI resolution. The size on your canvas should be set to PIXELS (px) or POINTS (pt).

File name should be USERNAME_NAME_OF_PIECE. If you do not have a username, use your name, and if you have neither just title it ANONYMOUS_NAME_OF_PIECE. Example Given: k1ll3r-k4rg0_endlessly.png

Submit ONE of these: Page Artists: Double Page A3 Landscape or Single Page A4 Portrait Comic Artists: Comic Pages Sized A4 (Up to Five (5) Pages)

If you do not follow sizing guidelines, I may have to crop your image.

Page Artists:

Please submit 1 piece of art that features a clean sketch, clean line art, or no line art that is fully colored or toned (includes grayscale / monotone).

Double-Page Spread Art (A3, Landscape Horizontal, Wide [ ]) ——5400 ⨯ 3633 pixels (px) (4050 ⨯ 2725 points (pt)) landscape

LAYOUT EXAMPLE:

Single-Page Spread Art (A4, Portrait Vertical, Tall [ ] ) ——2500 ⨯ 3713 pixels (px) (1875 ⨯ 2785 points (pt)) portrait

LAYOUT EXAMPLE:

Comic Artists:

Please submit five (5) maximum pages of art that feature a clean sketch, clean line art, or no line art that are fully colored or toned (includes grayscale / monotone).

Comic (A4, Portrait Vertical, Tall [ ] ) ——2621 ⨯ 3847 pixels (px) (1966 ⨯ 2885 points (pt)) portrait

LAYOUT EXAMPLE:

If you do not follow sizing guidelines, I may have to crop your image.

>WRITERS<

Writers: Please submit one (1) piece of writing no longer than five thousand words (5k). The writing can be prose, a poem, a script, etc. It must be in English, as I have to make sure the content is not breaking any rules. Your piece should be polished! (basically: if you are not good at grammar, that is okay; I would simply suggest you look over the piece / edit it / polish it before submitting!).

Please submit a PDF only.

As per the theme of the zine, lyrics should be included in your piece or in the title!

Italics must be denoted in game style (*word*).

Submit the PDF with prose only.All the extra information such as title, word count, characters, tags, etc. should be filled out in this form.

File name should beUSERNAME_NAME_OF_PIECE. If you do not have a username, use your name, and if you have neither just title it ANONYMOUS_NAME_OF_PIECE. Example Given: k1ll3r-k4rg0_endlessly.pdf

LAYOUT EXAMPLE:

#disco elysium #disco elysium fanzine #disco elysium zine #disco elysium fanart #disco elysium writing #zine #fanzine #zine promo #submissions open #long post #asdjkhffgg i hope this is legible and clear

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