#New Kings - Lockdown - 20

[jtl-fics]

happy new year! new kings

1/1/25 WIP Wednesday (CLOSED) | New Kings AU

“I’d like to see you try!” Allison calls back and Seth puts his shoulder into moving the dresser.

The dresser does not move, no matter how he pushes it.

It shouldn’t be a weight thing, he can lift it fully loaded with all of Allison’s Fall and Winter clothing. “What the hell did you do to this thing?!” he demands.

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Allison yells and yeah that’s why Seth asked the fucking question. God she is such a fucking blonde sometimes.

Check out this week's options: HERE

[phantom-0-writer]

regular boy: daniel wayne

masterlist/link to ao3

summary:

“Reporting live from Gotham City!” The reporter spoke “Here at the scene of the crime where Dr. Collin Kilye, renowned geneticist, has shot himself and has been declared dead by the paramedics. Dr. Kilye is suspected to be responsible for the purposeful switching of newborns between families under his care, where an estimated over 500 babies have been swapped in the last 20 years of his employment here. Based on the information provided to the Gotham PD by Nightwing and Batman, the vigilantes investigating the crime, we are led to believe that Nightwing has been investigating this case after an anonymous tipoff of Dr. Kilye’s suspicious activities. After a month and a half of investigating, Nightwing reason to believe the Dr. Kilye of malpractice and came to his office to investigate-” - Dick had learned that people never know a situation as well as they assume they did. Dick had always assumed that he wouldn’t be one of those people. He was a detective, a Bat, the first Robin. The case file in front of him glared tauntingly. Danny Fenton; Birth Parents: Bruce Wayne (father) and Clarissa King (mother). Status: Alive

chapter 01: breaking news

tw/cw: mentions of infant death and fictional medical procedures

dick: 25 jason: 20 danny: 16 tim: 16 steph: 17 cass: 15 duke: 17 damian: 13

Danny sighed, stepping through the front door and into the empty living room not bothering to turn on the lights and tossed his hoodie onto a nearby sofa. Normally Jazz would have berated him for being messy, or maybe Mom would have nagged about Danny being older and needing to clean up after himself. But Jazz was off studying neurology at Harvard. And his parents had gotten an “an amazingly irrefutable offer, Danno” to work at Dalv Co. under their new ecto-technologies sector, that partnered closely with the GIW. So they were usually busy with that. 

Not that Danny wasn’t glad to have time apart from his parents. After what Danny only referred to as The Chicago Incident, he could barely stand being in the same room with them. Danny kept quiet about what happened. He hadn't told anyone, not Sam or Tuck or Val or Wes and especially not Jazz. He couldn’t. He’d only managed to survive thanks to the timely aid of Fright Knight and Firebolt (a ghost friend he made when he was stuck in the Ghost Zone during the GIW’s six-month Martial Law lockdown- but that was a story for another time). 

Leaving his shoes somewhere by the door, Danny made his way into the kitchen, perusing through the remnants of edible material. The equipment in the basement would have been collecting dust if Danny hadn’t taken his liberties with it. Apart from his newfound and unbounded freedom that he regarded with gratitude, Danny even began dabbling in cooking real people food. And it was definitely because he wanted to and not because he was sick of microwavable food, Jazz. 

With Danny’s rendition of chicken alfredo ready, he ate in front of the TV. He flipped through a few channels before just landing back on the news. He half-listened to the anchor telling him about the incoming weather front before the screen abruptly changed, flashing a bright red Breaking News sign for a moment before panning over to a lady in front of what looked like a crime scene. 

“I’m Jenifer Blair, reporting live from West Gotham City with Z News!” The reporter spoke urgently over the loud sounds of police and ambulance sirens in the background. “Here at the scene of the crime where Dr. Collin Kilye, renowned geneticist, and lead researcher at West Gotham General Hospital, has shot himself and has been declared dead by the paramedics. Dr. Kilye is suspected to be responsible for the purposeful switching of newborns of families under his care. It is estimated that over 500 babies have been swapped in the last 20 years of his employment here. Based on the information provided to the Gotham PD by Nightwing and Batman, the vigilantes investigating the crime, we have been told that Nightwing has been investigating this case after an anonymous tipoff of Dr. Kilye’s suspicious activities. After a reported month and a half of investigating, Nightwing had reason to suspect Dr. Kilye of malpractice and came to his office to investigate where--”

The sudden sound of his phone ringing brought Danny back to his living room. “Hey, Tuck,” Danny answered, lowering the volume of the TV. 

“Danny! Dude! Have you seen the news story of Batman and Nightwing’s recent bust?” Tucker asked, his voice radiating fanboy excitement. 

“Wasn’t it mostly just Nightwing?” Danny raised an eyebrow at his friend, even though he couldn’t see it. “Batman showed up later.” 

“Yeah, well, Batman and Nightwing-”

“Nightwing and Batman.”

“Okay, whatever- but isn’t this totally insane? It’s like Parent Trap- but illegal.”

“That’s not what happens in Parent Trap.” Danny pointed out for the sole purpose of being annoying. 

“It’s the essence, Danny!” Tucker groaned. Danny could practically hear him rolling his eyes through the phone. “We’re still on for the new Doom game tonight?” 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. The others come by yet?” Danny put his plate in the sink. 

“I’m adding them to the call.” 

On the third ring, “‘Sup Fenton ‘n Foley. Ready to get your nonexistent butts handed to you?” Val goaded, already hyped for their game. 

“Hey! I’ll have you know I have a very nice butt. And Danny’s isn’t anything to scoff at either-” Tucker snapped only to be cut off by Danny.

“Okay! Thanks for the defense, Tuck.” Danny stepped in quickly before the conversation took a turn he did not want to witness. 

--- 

Dick was alone in the BatCave, working out the final details of his case before sending it off to be released publicly. In all of Dick’s years as Robin to Nightwing, this case was easily one of the most disastrous to the general public. Given that it was his case, Dick wanted to make sure it went smoothly. Or as smoothly as telling a family their child isn’t biologically theirs can go. 

Sorting through the files and pairing up the families with the correct child was relatively easy, thanks to the incredible details Dr. Kilye stored in his files. If the circumstances were different, Dick would have been amazed at how much data the doctor managed to keep collecting for 568 different subjects of his experiment. Silently praising himself for having already made his way through about half the files, Dick stretched his neck as he clicked the View Next button. 

In his line of work, Dick had learned that people never know a person or situation as well as they thought they did. Dick had been confident he wouldn’t be one of those people. He was a detective, a Bat, the first Robin. He knew better than to assume anything. The file that showed up next was chilling proof that he was wrong. For a Bat, the past never stayed in the past. 

File Number: 6678

Date of Birth: 12 February 20XX

Name: Thomas Wayne Jr 

Assigned Mother: Clarissa King (missing) 

Assigned Father: Bruce Wayne (alive)  

Biological Mother: Madeline Fenton (alive) 

Biological Father: Jack Fenton (alive) 

Medical Conditions: 

Malformations of the heart and lungs

Unidentified chemicals present in blood test

Updates and Notes: 

Deceased on 23 February 20XX (11 days old)

The memories he managed to keep buried for years seized Dick’s senses, and he was back in the hospital waiting room at age 9. None of the others had known about the time Bruce and Thalia had tried to work things out and had given having a family together a try. No LoA business. No Bat or JLA. Just regular(ish) people in a regular(ish) family. 

It had gone well for the months before Talia had become pregnant. Even most of the pregnancy had gone smoothly. Dick got to be in an actual family again after the death of his parents. They had dinner together. Talked about their day. Watched movies together.

But then Talia had gotten sick, and the baby ended up coming out a little early. The doctors had told them it was normal and that the baby would probably still be healthy. So Alfred sat in the waiting room with a nervous Dick, excited to meet his first-ever little brother. He’d always wanted a little brother. Bruce came to the waiting room after making Dick and Alfred wait forever and told them they could come in now. Talia, under the alias Clarissa King, was asleep when they entered. 

Bruce had told them the doctors had taken Thomas to get cleaned and do a few check-ups. Dick remembered the anxious but excited look on Bruce’s face as he kept glancing at the door, ready to pounce the second the doctor would come back with Dick’s new baby brother. 

Except that never happened. 

When the doctor came back into the room, he had a clipboard in his hand, not a baby. The Doctor told them to follow him, and they went inside a room with a bunch of machines in it, and in the middle of the room was Dick’s baby brother.

The baby was mostly bald, but he had little bits of black hair on his head, like Bruce and Talia. Dick wondered what color eyes the baby would have. Talia had green eyes, but Bruce and Dick had blue eyes. Alfred had said the baby needed a lot of rest and that’s why he was sleeping so much. Dick would be a good big brother and wait patiently until his baby brother woke up. 

But the baby had to stay in the hospital for 10 whole days since Bruce had told Dick that his brother was really sick. Dick would check the nursery to make sure it was ready for his brother before Alfred would take him to the hospital to visit. Dick’s baby brother hadn’t been awake any of those days and Dick never got to find out what color his eyes were. 

On the eleventh day, they didn’t go to visit. When Dick asked Alfred why, the butler had walked him to the patch of loose dirt in the backyard marked with a little piece of rock with his brother’s name on it. 

Dick had seen that type of rock with his parent’s name on it before. 

It meant that he was gone, and Dick would never get to see him again. 

When Bruce had introduced Jason Todd and said he would stay with them in the manor, that was the first time Dick had truly ever been betrayed by Bruce. 

Jason wasn’t his brother. Thomas was. But Thomas wasn’t here. Jason may get to say he was Bruce’s son too, but he didn’t get to know about Thomas. 

Not letting his childhood tears deter him from his new goal, Dick quickly found the associated file. Dick’s heart pounded in his chest while his breath was still stuck somewhere in his throat, 

File Number: 77563

Date of Birth: 12 February 20XX

Name: Daniel Fenton 

Assigned Mother: Madeline Fenton (alive) 

Assigned Father: Jack Fenton (alive) 

Biological Mother: Clarissa King (missing) 

Biological Father: Bruce Wayne (alive)  

Medical Conditions: 

Normal Birth

Age 12: Electrocuted 

Hospitalized for 24 hours. 

Developed Acute Bradycardia 

No follow-up medical procedures 

Updates and Notes: 

Prefers “Danny” 

Dick looked over the file again and again. His baby brother was alive. He had come back. 

Should he tell Bruce? Obviously, that was a dumb question. How should he tell Bruce? 

Well, Richard Grayson was nothing if not tactful. He pulled out his phone from his jacket pocket, pulled up both files next to each other on the large screen of the Bat Computer, snapped a picture, and clicked send. Bruce was supposed to be having dinner with some important business people or whatnot, so Dick decided he should flee the scene before the Big Bad Bat found him, not wanting to know what his wrath would bestow on him. Heaven forbid, Bruce might even talk about emotions.

He closed all the files, stored them in a flash drive, and wiped them from the computer. After all, this was his case, and he’d be the one to see it through. Dick was right in front of the elevator when the doors opened to reveal Tim.

“You’re done?” Tim asked, raising a suspicious brow.

“I have a flight to catch.” Dick said, “I need to pack.”

“Is it for a case?” Tim asked, putting his phone in his pocket. 

“Yeah. Be the bestest brother ever and cover for me?” Dick pleaded, flashing his signature smile.

“Why should I?” He huffed already a few feet away from where Dick stayed. 

With a smirk, “‘Cause you don’t want Bruce to know what taking the Batmobile out for a ‘joyride’ was really for,” Dick said with a smirk. 

Tim turned around, alarmed. “Fine, I’ll cover. But you better not tell.” Tim hissed at him.

“Scout’s Honor.” Dick winked before catching the elevator. 

“You weren’t even a Scout.” He heard Tim complain before the doors fully shut. 

Three hours later, Dick landed in Chicago, Illinois and hailed a cab to take him the rest of the 1-and-a-half-hour drive to Amity Park. Where Thomas  Daniel Danny lived. Dick hadn’t exactly planned this whole excursion through, which wasn’t very trained-by-Batman of him. But Dick knew how to do things by the nose when he needed to. 

He had used the time in the plane to finish the rest of the files, which he completed quickly with his ultimatum in mind. Dick purposely ignored every notification vibrating in his pocket knowing he would be facing the wrath of either Tim or Bruce. 

But now he was sitting in a car for one-and-a-half hours with nothing to look out for except the darkness of the night and a relatively empty road. He opened his phone to 56 messages and missed calls. He scrolled through the groupchat, ignoring it when it was just talking about regular stuff. Next, he opened his messages from Tim. 

Timbers: Dick.

Timbers: what did you do?????

Timbers: when you said cover I thought you meant for patrol or smt 

Timbers: not whatever beef Bruce apparently has with you??

Timbers: I demand compensation!!!

Timbers: [1 video]

Dick opened the video Tim sent him. It was 90 seconds of security camera feed from right above the elevator. Bruce’s hair was disturbed from his usual well-done look he kept for business meetings and his tie was undone. He stormed towards the Bat Computer where Tim was doing whatever Tim does on the computer. Despite being dressed in business attire, Dick could practically see the flurrying of the Batman cape behind him as he walked. Bruce whipped the chair Tim sat on around to face him so fast that Tim nearly fell off. 

‘Where’s Dick?’ The camera was a bit far but still picked up Bruce’s echoing voice. To Dick’s surprise, and seemingly Tim’s as well, Bruce didn’t seem mad. Disgruntled, alarmed, slipping from sanity? Yes. Genuinely angry? Not quite. It made Dick feel a little guilty. Only a little, though.

‘I dunno,’ Tim said, still reeling from the surprise attack. 

Bruce pushed Tim’s chair away from the computer, scavenging through the files, no doubt looking for the files on Thomas and Danny. Unfortunately for Bruce, every single one of those files was secure in Dick’s jacket pocket. Bruce would come to realize that soon enough, as he took a shaky breath and stepped away from the screen.

The video ended. 

That explained the 12 missed calls from Bruce. Dick debated calling him back. No doubt Bruce would ask for an explanation. An explanation he still has yet to come up with. 

Deciding this was a problem for future Dick, present Dick decided he would let himself doze off for the rest of the cab ride to his destination.

[aroace-spec-empire]

History of the AroAce Spec Empire (So far)

(Will update as I rummage through this blog and find posts/events that are considered as important history bits-)

2024

Note: At some point Luxembourg and the AroAce Spec Empire signed an agreement. Luxembourg would help with the invasion of Europe if they got Greenland

May 1 - The AroAce Spec Empire is founded during the Great Bot War Of 2024

May 1 - Almost immediately after being created, the Empire joins the Great Bot War of 2024 on the side of Aspecs

May 2 - The Empire hosts a vote to decide which European country to invade first

May 7 - The Empire reveals a map of Europe covered in dots + Promises to give Northern Ireland to Ireland

May 7 - A vote is made to decide which type of government the Empire should have

May 7-8 - The AroAce Spec Empire decides to not invade France, due to the founder Crystals la Bubble Tea (@/crystalsandbubbletea) being intimidated by them

May 9 - Draft of the AroAce Spec Empire Constitution is created

May 9 - Voting to decide which European country to invade first ends, with Denmark taking the overwhelming majority of the vote

May 13 - Czech Republic offers an alliance to the AroAce Spec Empire

May 15 - The Alliance between the AroAce Spec Empire and the Czech Republic is made official

May 16 - Canada and the AroAce Spec Empire form an alliance

May 16 - The King's Lomatia becomes the National Flower of the AroAce Spec Empire, while Garlic bread becomes the official food

May 16 - A poll just to be silly opens. The poll is for deciding if the Empire should be renamed to Peanut AroAce Spec Empire or Peanut Spec Empire after the Empire was called a peanut twice

May 17 - The USA and the AroAce Spec Empire form an alliance

May 17 - Luxembourg has to remind the AroAce Spec Empire about the agreement

May 17 - Ikea joins the AroAce Spec Empire

May 17 - AroAce Spec Empire and France open up discussions for a possible alliance

May 17 - Crystals la Bubble Tea thinks about making May 17 a national holiday known as "National Update Day", depends on the majority vote though-

May 17 - It is revealed that Crystals la Bubble Tea isn't a government official, due to the AroAce Spec Empire being an anarchy country. Instead they are responsible for polls and writing the constitution

May 17 - Antarctica and the AroAce Spec Empire become allies

May 17 - Arby's and the AroAce Spec Empire are officially chill with each other

May 18 - The Empire made a Discord server

May 20 - A new list of proposed alliances is made. The countries on the list are Germany, Turkmenistan, and Australia

May 20 - Crystals la Bubble Tea announces that they won't be in public as much for a while (AKA finals happening)

May 20 - Alliance with Australia has been confirmed

May 20 - Crystals la Bubble Tea goes out hunting for bots on the ace tags, they find none. This isn't enough for them, as who knows when the bots will be back?

May 21 - The Denmarks know about the plans to invade Denmark, causing Crystals la Bubble Tea to contemplate their life choices

May 21 - The Empire takes a bite out of the flag of Scotland and immediately regrets it

Aug 7 - The Empire faces increasing concern due to both France's losing their memories. Crystals la Bubble Tea goes into hiding

Aug 12 - The Empire gets their memories wiped. Crystals la Bubble Tea thinks about making the empire go into lockdown to prevent further memory loss

Some time between Aug 12 and Aug 19 - The Empire gets it's memories back

Aug 19 - The Empire and Communist America form an alliance

Some point in August - India and the Empire form an alliance

Aug 30 - The British Empire and the AroAce Spec Empire form an alliance

Sept 1 - The AroAce Spec Empire starts the invasion of European Countries

Oct 2 - The Great Bot was is presumably over

[samantitheos]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

AND IT'S STILL WEDNESDAY (a first). Thank you @blue-disco-lights and @wehangout for the tag. <3

Name and A03 handle: sam / ms_gallavich [cringe]

Current Location: living room couch in my new apartment. the upgrade from my last apartment is actually insane. i'm quite pleased.

Favourite picrew: any one in which i am channelling my lord and saviour, mickey milkovich. par exemple:

What's one thing you want in a picrew? uhh...good piercing options?

Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom? as cringe as it is now several years removed, i was at one time one half of a very elaborate long-form mickey/ian rp on instagram that we regularly maintained throughout most of the "dark years" (2017-2019) when we thought s07e11 was the last time we'd ever see gallavich on screen. i feel like it brought a wide swath of the fandom together at that time, and it was a lot of fun.

less cringe, i like these two embroideries lol.

Why is it your favourite? gallavich embroidery got me through the pandemic lockdowns tbh. i taught myself stitches watching youtube videos and would work on pieces while binge watching different shows. (remember tiger king and squid games? lol. wild. feels like a lifetime ago.) made me feel at least semi-productive. also i love skeletons, so obvi that one is dear to me lol.

Did it come easily or was it hard to create? i am straight garbage at doing the lettering. i also rip out and restitch sections a lot.

Last ao3 fic you commented on? definitely left an unhinged comment on @suzy-queued's A Song Only You Can Hear fairly recently.

Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? Grayola's Things Beyond Mistake was a punch to the tit, i won't lie. and i walked into anomalously's Promised Land with eyes wide open, knowing it was abandoned, and yet... 🥲i'm still subscribed to about 20 others i am still holding out hope for... 🥲🥲

Favourite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? it would probably be easier to name the tropes i don't like lol. love a good soulmate fic. and got to love "only one bed" hehe. slow burn and friends to lovers/mutual pinning too. just inject that straight into my veins.

Least favourite? i wouldn't say it's a trope, but i strongly dislike fics where they sleep with other people. don't care for mpreg either. or mcd (unless its something supernatural wherein they are only dead temporarily -- then i love it).

Secret or surprising kink or trope? most surprising would be abo (minus the mpreg), since i had never even heard of it until about a year after i started reading fic. thank god for that comprehensive abo primer on a03 lol.

Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? "i'm deleting this 30 seconds after i post unless someone likes it"

Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: i'm a lone wolf these days.

It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? start rereading something old written by one of my og favs.

(e.g., @loftec, @wehangout, @goodkwuestion, @gallavichy, @palepinkgoat,

@beckyharvey29, @the-rat-wins, @biblionerd07, @crimson-bebop, @captainjowl,

andchaos, mellow_yellow, MintSauce, Violet_Jones, lilbatfacedgirl, romanticalgirl, anomalously, horror_business, 09cityskylight, so many more that i missing that i now have anxiety lmaoooo)

Tagging a few people and extending the invite to anyone who would like to play. <3 @jademickian @transsexual-dandelions @ms-moonlight-inn @mickeym4ndy @sweetbee78

[sugdenlovesdingle]

so the incoming Dutch government has (among others)

a prime minister who is not a member of a political party but basically just someone who knows the right people to get him a nice job, former head of immigration and naturalisation services

a health minister/deputy PM who used to be a member of a white power/neo nazi forum and strongly opposes late term abortion.

a minister in charge of trade and international aid (as in aid sent to other countries from the Netherlands) who wanted to cut that aid significantly or even get rid of it altogether to pay for a hair brained plan to lower health insurance costs here a few years ago, who is (or was i'm not entirely sure) a board member for an even more racist and unhinged Dutch version of fox news, believes in some ass backwards conspiracy theory that the "elite" are trying to "replace" the population with non white/non western (Jewish!) people but claims that is not nazi rhetoric but a "factual description of a demographic development" , pro zwarte piet (loooong story but basically she's pro blackface)

a minister of immigration who also believes in the replacement conspiracy theory, is also racist, has referred to Islam as despicable. She's been called out on spouting nazi bullshit and just went "it's possible it's a nazi thing, I don't know, I don't really care/think about that"

a speaker of the house who also believes in the replace conspiracy theory and has mentioned it several times as an mp. He also complained about being sick of talks about slavery when there was a discussion on whether or not the (then) prime minister and the king should officially apologise for the Dutch slavery history. July 1st is Keti koti in the Netherlands - which celebrates the end of slavery and remembers those who lost their lives during it (kind of like Juneteenth in the US) and there is an 'official' celebration/memorial service in Amsterdam where normally at least some politicians would show their face and speak. The organisation has said they don't want Bosman (that's his name) there because he's a racist asshole. He's planning to go anyway.

an MP who blatantly denies there is famine in Gaza and says 2000 aid trucks enter the Gaza strip every week.

the leader of that ^ gang who is bffs with Viktor Orbán (Hungarian PM) and the American republicans (that should tell you enough), who was going to make sure there would be 'less Moroccans' in The Hague after winning local elections there, has insulted Islam on various occasions throughout the past 20 or so years, and wants to ban people from having dual citizenship except that one guy in his own party he kinda forgot about

The daughter of an immigrant who opposes immigration and wants to stop people from bringing their family here when they've officially been told they can stay. The EXACT same law that allowed her father to bring her and her mother and siblings here after he left Turkey when she was a kid. She also claims hundreds of thousands of people do this every year - which is bullshit, but she 'didn't do it on purpose' so it's ok.

a minister of housing who actively opposed building plans in her city. And also who nobody takes seriously because she got kicked out of her old party for openly criticising their covid policies during lockdown. Comedians love her because she says stupid shit all the time that they can use to make fun of her.

the leader of the farmers party who can't do maths, won't let anyone run the numbers on her party's plans because it's "not important what things cost or how they'd be paid for"

So yeah - the country is going to shit!

[themswritinwords]

Past/Current/Next WIP Game

This looked way too fun, so I'm hopping on an open tag from @blind-the-winds. Gonna no-pressure tag @northernrosewritings, @hayatheauthor, and, of course, passing on the open tag! (That means you!)

Rules: past is a WIP you stopped working on/finished; current is a WIP you're currently working on; next is a WIP you want to write

Past

I was gonna go for Ethan Ellis, since it's the only one that's officially done in the sense of "in a publishable shape and currently being queried." But then I thought about my first love, Shadows of Flame.

It's post(-near)-apocalyptic high fantasy, wherein the King's right hand man, Ayris, is living a lie. For his own safety, of course, but a lie nonetheless. See, Ayris can do magic. If he'd been around 20 years ago, this would have made him one of the Irriman. Only around 20 years ago, one of the Irriman went off the deep end and tried to take over the known world. She nearly succeeded, too. After having murdered, subsumed, mind controlled, or otherwise squashed all opposing Irriman voices, stealing all their magic for her own in the process, she marched her army of unfailingly loyal supernatural freaks across the continent, steamrolling everyone and everything that wouldn't submit to her rule. An alliance between the three largest and strongest nations managed to stop her. By stop her, I mean kill her. Which is great news, unless you're Ayris. Because not only has he lived his whole life having to hide his powers for fear of getting murdered as a potential threat, it turns out it didn't work. She's back, and she's got her sights set on revenge-- and Ayris.

If we go back to the earliest iterations, I've been working on this one for 15 years. Of course, I don't want anyone going back to those earliest iterations, and I will start torching old notebooks to make sure that doesn't happen. But my point is that I have a special place in my heart for Ayris. I was working on this one in its current unfinished iteration when I had my child 4 years ago, but put it on hold just after covid lockdowns when I realized the pacing I'd had set out just wasn't working. There was more to it than that, but that was the biggest issue I couldn't seem to get past. So I shelved it. But you can't keep a good WIP down, so it'll soon be out of "past" and into "present," and I'm so excited! I've figured out what needs to change, I have a plan, and I even have most of an outline. (Amazing what 2 years on the shelf will do, eh?) But it's gonna have to wait, because....

Present

The Rockbridge Experiment. Urban fantasy meets Southern Gothic, with just enough "dude that's messed up" to toe the line of horror crossover.

Evan Grant is a detective. For now, anyway. She was pretty close to quitting altogether, especially when she got this assignment. Fae in the human district. What could possibly go wrong? A lot, as it turns out, and none of it in the way she expected. When she's paired up with a half-dwarf and a dying elf to solve a string of kidnappings and murders, Evan's whole belief system gets put to the test. The elf just so happens to be able to see the future, which might be handy if they weren't living in a world where magic was hunted to extinction several thousand years ago. Worse, those kidnappings and murders are starting to smell an awful lot like a drunken uncle's favorite dinner table conspiracy theory- that there's folk out there running horrible experiments to try and bring magic back. Evan and her new partners have to solve these cases quickly and quietly, or risk upsetting the delicate balance of human-Fae relations, quite possibly unpausing a particularly uneasy cold war. Add in an undead (maybe possessed) terrorist, the literal monsters in the shadows, and a millennia-old, quite-possibly-all-powerful baddie pulling strings they didn't even know existed, these kids are about to have one heck of a time.

"But wait!" I hear you cry. I thought that was one of the finished ones! And to that I say, "you're right! But I'm rewriting it!" Not editing, rewriting. Why? Because the first draft was, I kid you not, 365k words.

And yes, I may have had three separate alpha readers binge it in less than 3 days and come back asking where the sequel is, and yes, I spent a long time crying in the shower about how much I didn't want to change a dang thing because do you have any idea how long it takes to write 365000 words??? But as much as I love my slow-burn, takes-its-time, thoughtful-exploration-experience version, it's never getting published like this. Hard stop. It's just not. It took a lot of shower tears, but I've accepted that.

I've also learned a thing or two about the craft of storytelling since finishing it the first time, as well as over the course of finishing it the first time--- my writing style matured a lot from the front half to the back, and it unfortunately shows. So did my understanding of story structure, my characters, my own worldbuilding, etc. So I know now what's extraneous and where I want these characters to go, and I had just enough alpha reader feedback to know what landed the way I wanted it to and what didn't. I know what I need to do to make it as tight, coherent, and impactful as possible. So rewrites are underway, and we're not stopping til we've chopped this sucker at least in half! Which isn't to say it's gonna become a novella, not by any means. My best estimate right now is still sitting around 120k, but at least that's within the realm of "non-debut normal-ish" for the genre.

Future

I could cheat and say Shadows of Flame again, because I'm gonna start working on that one as soon as I get Rockbridge settled. But I like having two or three active non-editing WIPs at a time, so I'll also put in a plug for my next brainworm hyperfixation, which I'm currently calling "Fantasy Escort Mission, but with Babies, Goats, and Demons."

Okay, there's only one each of those, but our protagonist Ayla Severin, gets saddled with all three. She only knows about the baby and the goat, though, because the demon is bound to the baby's bodyguard. Why does the baby have a bodyguard, you ask? Because it's the infant prince of the neighboring kingdom. With whom Ayla's country is at war. Because a rebel faction framed Ayla's nation for the murders of the entire royal family. The baby, however, escaped (thanks, bodyguard!), and is living proof of the framing. If Ayla's team can get the prince back to the members of government who weren't part of the coup, they might be able to stop the war and bring the rebels to justice. Unfortunately, the only possible way they're getting across enemy lines without getting caught is through a wilderness so inhospitable that both countries gave it up as hopeless decades ago. That would be hard enough for an elite force of highly-skilled commando soldiers, but this is a baby we're talking about. An orphaned baby, and orphaned babies have to eat, so along comes the milking goat. And the demon? Well, it's certainly not going to be making things any easier, but just what it is up to is anyone's guess. Ayla gets to sort all of that out while also battling her own, less literal demons-- the grief of losing her little family, and the guilt that comes along with it.

So keep a look out in the next few months for early brainrot re: my many Plots, Schemes, and Homemade Blorbos, because I'm super excited about literally all of these!

[lonely-soul-02]

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/noel-gallagher-interview-oasis-reunion-high-flying-birds-l02r389l

Noel Gallagher: ‘Oasis reunion? Liam hasn’t called, but I’m free the back end of 2024’

Aweek or so before Noel Gallagher meets me at his studio in King’s Cross, the Oasis reunion rumour mill went into overdrive. In March, Gallagher’s younger brother Liam wrote on Twitter of returning to his frontman duties: “It’s happening.” In a radio interview in May, the rhythm guitarist Paul “Bonehead’’ Arthurs said: “I’m ready.” Then came reports that Knebworth had been booked for four nights in 2025. So I begin our interview by asking Noel: “What’s happening?”

“Liam ain’t called,” the band’s 56-year-old leader, songwriter and guitarist says, sitting deep in a sofa, an unmoving, authoritative presence with cropped grey-black hair, wearing Levi’s. “I’m not expecting him to, because he’s full of shit and very disingenuous with his beloved Oasis fans. I say to him, ‘Get somebody to call somebody my end. Let’s see what you’ve got to say.’ Guess what? My phone has not twitched once.”

According to him, there is a simple reason why his problem child of a brother will not pick up the phone. “He knows for a fact that should someone call me, and I go, ‘You know what? F*** it. Let’s do it,’ then he has to actually stand in the same room as me. Then it will be, ‘All right, dickhead, how you doing? Before we go any further, there’s a few things I have to say to you.’ That’s when the arse will fall out of his trousers.”

On top of that unhygienic scenario, an Oasis reunion would have to be off the scale in brilliance to not be a massive let-down. The end came in April 2009 when Liam threw a plum — and then, more dangerously, a guitar — at his brother before a concert in Paris, and that was 14 years ago.

“If it’s going to happen, Liam has to pull it off. It’s got to be the best it has ever been. But he’s one of these guys and they’re ten a penny, particularly up in Manchester, the bully, who when you put it on ’em and say, ‘Come on then, let’s see what you’ve got,’ start doing a lot of harrumphing.

“Liam is like a violent version of Arthur Fonzarelli. So I’ll say it again: I’m free, back end of 2024. He could even video himself calling me. That would be good for his little f***ing Twitter feed. But since then he’s gone quiet. Funny, innit?”

All of this feels particularly relevant because the new album by Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds is the older, wiser, sadder cousin of Oasis’s world-changing 1994 debut, Definitely Maybe. Council Skies has a reflective mood that draws not just on memories of Gallagher’s childhood in northern Manchester, but also his situation as a multimillionaire rock star dealing, for the first time in his adult life, with things going very wrong indeed.

There has been a divorce, health issues, and the psychological aftermath of a global pandemic and ensuing lockdown. Perhaps that’s why a handful of the songs, Dead to the World and I’m Not Giving Up Tonight in particular, have that hymnal, bittersweet quality of the Oasis classics Live Forever and Don’t Look Back in Anger. Oasis meant so much to people because they offered defiance against the everyday grind. Council Skies harks back to that feeling.

“I always thought there had to be a price to pay for happiness,” Gallagher says of his situation. “I’ve had over 20 years of absolutely no turbulence in my life whatsoever and I kept thinking, ‘It cannot be this great, all the time, until it comes to the end and I go, may as well die now and end up in Heaven.’ It turns out I was right. Luckily, as an artist you get to write about it.”

Dead to the World is one of those songs that Gallagher has a special knack for, which don’t do anything hugely different from what has gone before yet capture a universal feeling in a signature melancholic, soaring fashion. You wonder if the best material comes out of the most difficult times in his life.

“For sure, and right now it is the most uncertain time I’ve ever had,” he says. “It seems I peaked in my forties, because the moment I hit 50 it’s been one thing after another: personal issues, health issues, the city we love [London] going down the toilet. Definitely Maybe was born out of anxiety, thinking, this is the one shot we’ve got, we can’t f*** it up. There’s something similar here. Uncertainty is at the heart of it.”

Oasis took that uncertainty and made people feel, for one small moment, like they really might live for ever. “People will never forget the way you made them feel. I’ll never forget how the La’s or the Stone Roses made me feel. You can’t go back to 1995 because things cannot be the same — parents grow old, your cat dies, things rust — but the feeling remains and there is something beautiful in that. That’s why Dead to the World is up there with Live Forever. It’s just a different version of it.”

Gallagher grew up, by his own description, as a loner, estranged from his frequently violent father, Tommy, after his Irish parents’ divorce and taking solace in his bedroom in the Manchester suburb of Burnage, where he taught himself guitar and learnt to write songs by listening to the Beatles, Slade and T. Rex. While Liam was busy being the good-looking lad about town, the carefree kid who never second-guessed himself, Noel worked on an escape route via rock’n’roll.

“I didn’t invent anything,” he confesses. “I had good taste in music, a cool record collection, I could write a melody simple enough to make it work and it was 50 per cent inspiration and 50 per cent copying. It was a Tuesday night, raining, when I went into the rehearsal room and said, ‘I’ve just written the greatest tune of all time.’ We started Cigarettes & Alcohol and Bonehead went, ‘You can’t get away with that.’ ”

Bonehead was referring to the fact that Cigarettes & Alcohol is essentially Get It On by T. Rex after a trip to the off-licence, of which Gallagher says: “It’s not like I was expecting nobody to notice.” The genius of the song was in its celebration of working-class hedonism; the idea that you may as well live for the moment in the absence of any deeper meaning or nobler purpose. “That’s why Oasis were the modern-day Slade. They didn’t give a f*** either.”

Oasis’s take-no-prisoners assault targeted a few victims along the way, the most frequent being Phil Collins. What did Gallagher have against the balding king of 1980s smooth pop? “He kept the Jam off No 1 with You Can’t Hurry Love,” he reveals.

“I thought, ‘Once I get there, I’m not going to let him get away with that.’ The best thing about the Phil Collins thing is that Liam got accosted by his children one day because they thought he was me. They had a pop at him, saying, ‘Why are you always having a fing go at our dad?’ When I heard about it I thought, ‘I really hope someone filmed it.’ Anyway, f Liam. And f*** Phil Collins and all.”

As for Oasis becoming the biggest guitar band since the Beatles, Gallagher thinks it was down to a lack of artifice. “Oasis had a laddish, yobbo image, built in the image of the singer, but look at footage of Knebworth [two nights, 1996, two and a half million ticket applications] and you’ll see loads of girls down the front.

“Melodically it spoke to the masses, lyrically it spoke to people our age, and everyone looked at Bonehead and went, ‘If he can do it, any f***er can.’ My guitar rig at Knebworth was a piece of plywood, an on-off switch, and a tuner. It keeps going now because kids recognise the real deal. Oasis will never make another record, but if we put a tour on sale it would destroy everything.”

It makes you wonder if a band like Oasis, who summed up both the meritocratic possibilities of the New Labour 1990s and the black-humoured cynicism of Britpop, could happen today. Gallagher is adamant they could not.

“We would be killed before we even started,” he says with a sigh. “What made Oasis great was that we were moody c***s, a bit wild, and back then labels were run by amazing characters like Alan McGee of Creation and Jeff Barrett of Heavenly who loved the chaos.

“On the ferry to Amsterdam, when everyone got nicked [1994, first European tour, too much champagne and Jack Daniels, fights break out, Liam Gallagher goes on a Benny Hill-like rampage through the casino] I called McGee to tell him what happened and he went, ‘Brilliant.’ Nowadays, the label would wait to see what the public perception was before throwing you under the bus. And the word ‘career’ was never mentioned once. You were in a band. That was enough. And we could pull it off when we went on stage.”

Not always, though: In 1994 Oasis played the legendary Whisky a Go Go in Los Angeles, shortly after taking what they thought was cocaine but which turned out to be crystal meth. It resulted in the band members playing different songs at the same time before attacking each other. “Ringo Starr was there that night,” Gallagher remembers. “He walked out. One of the Beatles comes to see the new Beatles — and it’s shit.”

Gallagher thinks the music industry no longer has faith in itself, with labels monitoring how well an artist is doing with the public on TikTok and YouTube before taking a punt. “Can you imagine going up to someone in 1993, when [jokey indie duo] Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine were smashing it, and saying, ‘Got this idea for a band. Couple of gobshite brothers from Manchester, bang into cocaine, lager and shagging birds, ripping off the Beatles and T. Rex.’ ‘Oh no, thank you. I’d rather have Fruitbat and Dickhead from Carter, jumping about in shorts.’ Don’t focus-group anything! People are stupid! That’s how we ended up with Brexit. Now they will usher in AI. There is no hope for the world.”

How could we not mention AIsis, a virtual band with a “lost” Oasis album, conceived by some thirtysomething musicians who took Noel’s tunes and Liam’s elongation of the word “sunshiiiine” and got artificial intelligence to do its stuff? Needless to say, it hasn’t gone down well with the real-life human at the heart of it all.

“AI: made by robots, listened to by shitheads,” he summarises, before saying in comically pathetic tones: “ ‘Have you heard Ringo Starr singing She’s Electric?’ You’re all f***ing idiots! AI did a cover of Morning Glory and it sounded like shit indie music to me, but I can guarantee you the record companies are already buying up the technology.

“The label doesn’t want the artists to write the songs because they want to employ songwriters. Now the songwriters will be out of business because they’ll employ a robot to do it. You know what? I’m 55 and I don’t give a f***. AI is not going to put me out of the game. It is just going to make your life a little bit shitter.”

Whether Oasis or AIsis will be the first to fill the public’s desire for that much-talked-of reunion, Gallagher has the sanctity of his studio, the reassurance that his children, Anais, 22, Donovan, 15, and Sonny, 12, share his opinion on modern music (“The 1975 wear a guitar and get voted best rock band at the Brits. I’m going to the kids, ‘Is it me or is this shit?’ And they’re going, ‘Dad, it’s f***ing awful’ ”) and the creative satisfaction of making the best solo album of his career. Easy Now, a lonely ballad about strangers passing on the way to work and wondering about each other’s lives, has a mix of grandeur, hope and longing similar to the Oasis favourite The Masterplan.

“I can already picture a sea of lads in Scotland with their tops off, having it to Easy Now,” Gallagher says. “Usually, when a song starts sounding like Oasis I’ll go, ‘This is just a shit version of Supersonic.’ Now I’ve written a song that is a bit Oasisy but it is actually up there with them.”

Gallagher sounds like he has made his peace with Oasis, having made a solo album that doesn’t shy away from the quality that made people fall in love with his old band in the first place. Now he just needs to make peace with Liam and the next chapter in the Gallagher saga will begin.

“A new generation recognises how Oasis wasn’t manufactured,” Gallagher concludes, before heading off because Manchester City have a Premier League game. “It was chaotic, and flawed, and not technically brilliant. Blur did it all with a nod and a wink, but we were rough and ready guys from a rehearsal room and people recognised it. If we did go out and tour again, playing not just to blokes in their fifties but to the kids . . . We’d blow their f***ing minds.”

Interview behind a paywall. Anon, thank you SO much for sharing the content of the interivew.

Noel really wants to fend off any divorce claims on an Oasis reunion, or he really wants to see Liam lose it on Twitter again.

*sigh* Here we go. Isolated quotes:

“Liam ain’t called."

“I’m not expecting him to, because he’s full of shit and very disingenuous with his beloved Oasis fans. I say to him, ‘Get somebody to call somebody my end. Let’s see what you’ve got to say.’ Guess what? My phone has not twitched once.”

���He knows for a fact that should someone call me, and I go, ‘You know what? F*** it. Let’s do it,’ then he has to actually stand in the same room as me. Then it will be, ‘All right, dickhead, how you doing? Before we go any further, there’s a few things I have to say to you.’ That’s when the arse will fall out of his trousers.”

“If it’s going to happen, Liam has to pull it off. It’s got to be the best it has ever been. But he’s one of these guys and they’re ten a penny, particularly up in Manchester, the bully, who when you put it on ’em and say, ‘Come on then, let’s see what you’ve got,’ start doing a lot of harrumphing.

“Liam is like a violent version of Arthur Fonzarelli. So I’ll say it again: I’m free, back end of 2024. He could even video himself calling me. That would be good for his little f***ing Twitter feed. But since then he’s gone quiet. Funny, innit?”

"Anyway, f Liam. And f*** Phil Collins and all."

And finally we get to the core of it all:

“I always thought there had to be a price to pay for happiness...”

Fic writers are going to have a field day with that last one.

With my Oasis conspiracy theory hat off, It certainly does seem as if Noel is deliberately sabotaging any chance of reconciliation. But then he might say Liam did the sabotaging with his uncomplimentary tweets that began with the 'meet him or fuck him off' tweet that came from out of the blue, kickstarting the media spat.

He's using the strongest language to date in this interview, but he's also contradicting himself as usual. Liam is apparently a violent bully but he is also afraid of standing in the same room as Noel.

I also sense a lot of projection. The implication that Liam would somehow not be match fit, or not be able to 'pull off' an Oasis reunion is completely laughable when he's pulled off two nights at Knebworth on his own. This is all Noel's insecurity. Noel is afraid of not being able to pull it off. Because Noel would have to pick up his guitar, assume his old role and solo again. Over the years, he has become self-conscious about his guitar playing. He said that he left behind his ability to play guitar solos in Paris the night of the fight. It wouldn't matter that the songs are old and all he has to do is rehearse them. Noel is afraid of not measuring up. Noel is the one afraid to stand in the same room as Liam.

To be honest, I think they'd both be afraid of meeting each other and that's entirely normal. After 14 years, of course they'd be apprehensive, anyone would be. This is why I wish there were a mutual friend of both, who loves them both equally, and has both their best interests at heart to help them through a reconciliation process. Debbie has said it's not her place to intervene, but that's a hard disagree from me. If people continue to leave them to their own devices instead of trying to support them, the estrangement and conflict will drag on.

Update:

Not taking any bait today, good on you Liam!

[oliverfinalmajorproject]

Final Major Project - Thoughts 16

Protest Songs

Among social movements that have an associated body of songs are the abolition movement, prohibition, women's suffrage, the labour movement, the human rights movement, civil rights, the Native American rights movement, the Jewish rights movement, disability rights, the anti-war movement and 1960s counterculture, art repatriation, opposition towards blood diamonds, abortion rights, the feminist movement, the sexual revolution, the LGBT rights movement, animal rights movement, vegetarianism and veganism, gun rights, legalisation of marijuana and environmentalism.

Martin Luther King Jr. described the freedom songs this way: "They invigorate the movement in a most significant way... these freedom songs serve to give unity to a movement."

EXAMPLE IN EAST-ASIA

China

Chinese-Korean Cui Jian's 1986 song "Nothing to My Name" was popular with protesters in Tiananmen Square.

Chinese singer Li Zhi made references to the Tiananmen Square massacre in his songs and were subsequently banned from China in 2019. Three years later, during the anti-lockdown protests in China, this was used as a protest song across YouTube.

Hong Kong

Hong Kong rock band Beyond's "Boundless Oceans Vast Skies" (1993) and "Glory Days" (光輝歲月) (1990) have been considered as protest anthems in various social movements.

During the 2019–20 Hong Kong protests, Les Misérables' "Do You Hear The People Sing" (1980) and Thomas dgx yhl's "Glory to Hong Kong" (2019) were sung in support of the movement. The latter has been widely adopted as the anthem of these protests, with some even regarding it as the "national anthem of Hong Kong".

Philippines

From the revolutionary songs of the Katipunan to the songs being sung by the New People's Army, Filipino protest music deals with poverty, oppression as well as anti-imperialism and independence. A typical example was during the American era, as Jose Corazon de Jesus created a well-known protest song entitled "Bayan Ko", which calls for redeeming the nation against oppression, mainly colonialism, and also became popular as a song against the Marcos regime.

During the 1960s, Filipino protest music became aligned with the ideas of Communism as well as of revolution. The protest song "Ang Linyang Masa" came from Mao Zedong and his Mass Line and "Papuri sa Pag-aaral" was from Bertolt Brecht. These songs, although Filipinized, rose to become another part of Filipino protest music known as Revolutionary songs that became popular during protests and campaign struggles.

South Korea

See also: Music of South Korea and Korean protest songs

Commonly, protest songs in South Korea are known as Minjung Gayo (Korean: 민중 가요, literally "People's song"), and the genre of protest songs is called "Norae Undong", translating to the literal meaning "song movement". The starting point of Korean protest songs was the music culture of Korean students movements around 1970.[66] It was common in the 1970s~1980s, especially before and after of the June Democracy Movement in 1987, and associated with against the military governments of presidents Park Chung Hee and Chun Doo Hwan reflecting the will of crowd and voices of criticism of the day. From the middle of the 1990s, following the democratisation of South Korea, Korean protest songs have lost their popularity.

Taiwan

"Island's Sunrise" (Chinese: 島嶼天光) is the theme song of 2014 Sunflower Student Movement in Taiwan. Also, the theme song of Lan Ling Wang TV drama series Into The Array Song (Chinese: 入陣曲), sung by Mayday, expressed all the social and political controversies during Taiwan under the president Ma Ying-jeou administration.

Thailand

See also: Phleng phuea chiwit

In Thailand, protest songs are known as Phleng phuea chiwit  ("songs for life"), a music genre that originated in the '70s, by famous artists such as Caravan, Carabao, Pongthep Kradonchamnan and Pongsit Kamphee.

[naddpod-arc-tournament]

Hexbloods

Episodes: Hexblood, The Would Be King, Killshot, The Prophet Gideon, Cindersworn, The Petty King of Outerborough

Oops all monks! We meet our new new heroes the Hexbuds: illeist kensei Jabari Hightower, motivational speaker Corbeau “The Crow” Babineaux, and plant enthusiast Tarragon Snakeroot. The three warriors come out of retirement, get embroiled in the ongoing power struggle for the Petty Kingship of Outerborough, and learn some truths about their mom.

Highlights:

Improvised sneak mission, featuring Jabari’s extreme overkill and the side flap maneuver

Intro chaos continues. Acrostics, songs, “Hey there, centaurs–”

Entering the grove and meeting Glada the frost giant

“It’s not about speechin’, it’s about listening, and talking– and you know, when you speak, people listen, but when you stop listening, that’s when they really start to understand, you know what I mean?” “No.”

“Can I put my croc on his chest, so he can’t sit up?” “……Your croc?”

West Precinct

Episodes: Flesh and Blood, Too Late, Broken Bonds, Lockdown, Sirenloch

The Third Mates resurface into the politics of West Precinct. Two family reunions go awry, and the trio uncover a conspiracy, infiltrate a compound, face some unexpected enemies, and fight to protect the people of Sirenloch from horrors.

Highlights:

Fia animates Spoony for the first time

Zirk confronts Stella– “When will it be enough?!”

Split party fight with Moxora and Cain, Fia saves Zirk from the edge of death and Bukvar is lost

Hank’s jean jacket, aka the worst Nat 20 in the history of the podcast

From google form submission: “Hank Jr and Henry interactions in ep 28 “Lockdown” and ep 29 Sirenloch” (Ed. note: I found the texts I sent to a naddpole friend when first listening and my heart is hurting again: “I’m having emotions about hank hogfish jr– this is the second time he’s seen hank sr and both times murph describes that he feels immediately relieved and safe now that his dad is here, before remembering how hurt and mad he is”)

[gingerrevs]

Onwards & Upwards

It’s been a whole year since we lost my lovely mum. In one sense it seems like no time has passed and in another it feels like much, much longer.

After she passed away, I received various well intended ‘hope you’re doing ok’ messages which of course is very kind of everyone. But no, I’m not ok, my mum’s just f**king died! And all I could really reply other than the ‘thank you, I miss her so much’ was that it was just weird. Weird that one of the main constants in my life was now gone forever. Weird that I couldn’t just pick up the phone and talk to her ever again. And weird that I had just gone through a hugely traumatic thing but yet the world just keeps on turning.

For the last 12 months my mum’s final months have gone round and round in my head on a loop, showing no sign of dimming. And the memories of those last few days before she passed away in particular being vicious mental sledgehammers appearing from out of nowhere. As we come to the year anniversary of her death, I decided that perhaps putting into writing what happened may be a way of helping process it all. And whilst it might seem somewhat self-indulgent or attention seeking, if I’m going to spend time putting all this in words then why not give people the opportunity to read it. The sceptics would argue that ruminating on the past could be somewhat detrimental, but then the sceptics probably aren’t going to read this! The following is pretty raw, and I appreciate may be a bit much to take in. But if you do make it to the end, thank you.

Some background. Mum first had cancer in 2018 and whilst somewhat overwhelming for us all (not to mention for mum!) between one major operation, chemotherapy & radiotherapy mum made it through and on we went.

November 2021 it came back. Sadly, there’s always a chance it will return and whilst mum took it like a champ the rest of us fell apart somewhat. As much hope as I wanted to have, could mum really beat it a second time around? And cancer aside, this all coincided with the descent of the Omicron COVID variant which just made things that much more stressful to deal with. Initially things were promising, a treatment plan was sorted and medication administered. And then unfortunately things quite rapidly went sour.

Like all cancer treatment, what mum was receiving was pretty brutal and had made her bones really weak. Early March 2022 in the middle of the night mum managed to break her arm severely and she was whisked away in an ambulance. That same day all Cornish hospitals went into a lockdown due to severely high COVID rates across the county, so no one was allowed in the ambulance with her, nor wait with her at A&E. I made various phone calls to the hospital to try and figure out what was going on – no straight answers other than she hadn’t been admitted yet and the best thing was to just stay put.

Ignoring that, I drove the two hours to the city where mum was in hospital. In that two hours still no news other than mum had been triaged and they were trying to decide the best plan of action. Oh and no I wasn’t allowed to be with her so I sat in my car in a supermarket car park nearby ringing every 45 mins or so for updates. I was finally told she’d be admitted so I then did a round trip to where she lived to sort out an overnight bag and headed back to the hospital. By this point mum had been in an ambulance for about 9 hours. The hospital’s A&E was so full there was no bed for her to go into. On arriving at the hospital, I was told a nurse would come and meet me to get mum’s bag as I couldn’t go in, I asked the lovely chap if mum was still in an ambulance, she was, and was there no way I could just see her for a little bit? His advice was to walk around to the ambulance bay and see if I could find her. It happened to be around the corner from the main entrance, so I walked over and what I saw took my breath away. About 20 ambulances all lined up. 20 ambulances with patients in. 20 ambulances who couldn’t discharge their patients because there was nowhere for them to go. It was absolutely bonkers. You hear about it on the news but seeing it first hand was completely shocking. I walked about for a bit, torn between not wanting to disturbing the paramedics and desperately wanting to see my mum. In the end I came across two paramedics having a coffee so decided they wouldn’t mind me asking. My initial attempt at trying to explain what I was doing just resulted in me bursting into tears but eventually I managed to convey what I was after, and they very kindly found out which ambulance mum was in and led me to her. I was so glad to see her, and she seemed pretty happy to see me! Although worried that there was no food at home for me to eat, typical mum! I stayed for about 20 minutes making sure there was nothing else I could do at the time for mum and reassured her the hospital staff had my number to keep me as updated as possible. And off I went, but not before the paramedic looking after mum ‘cheerfully’ told me not to get in a car crash on my way home because all the ambulances in Cornwall were currently there so no one would be able to come and save me. Mum finally got admitted at around 8.30 that evening so about 16 hours in an ambulance overall. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of all those ambulances lined up.

Mum ended up in hospital for two weeks. Various plans put together (to operate on mum’s arm, or leave it?) and then changed last minute. Lots of phone calls and everything done at a distance because absolutely no visitors due to COVID. Then the irony being that mum caught COVID whilst in hospital, after we’d all been so bloody careful. Thankfully she was asymptomatic and not affected at all thank goodness.

F**king COVID. A slight tangent here. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it was for people who lost loved ones and couldn’t be there at the end because of strict lockdown rules & protocols. I get so f**king angry that COVID meant in the last two years of mum’s life we missed out on so much time together. That she missed out on seeing her amazing grandchildren because they didn’t live in the same country. So. F**king. Angry. And there’ll be so many other people out there who had to experience the same thing. All the while our inept suited turds of a government enjoyed themselves to no end because they just decided they were above the law. Dickheads.

Anyway, mum came out of hospital just before Mother’s Day and knowing she’d insist on there not being a fuss I decided to drive down and surprise her. She was delighted, and hindsight – I’m so f**king glad I did. Not long after that was mum’s 70th birthday, by that point the broken arm & the treatment meant things were really taking their toll so again no fuss, but we asked close friends & family to send video messages wishing mum a happy birthday which a friend of Dan’s then edited together beautifully. Mum loved it.

Mum had support workers going in twice a day and there was various friends & family on hand too, then after mum’s birthday I was back for the Easter Weekend arriving Thursday afternoon. En route I’d stopped to pick up mum’s prescription where they noted concern at the amount of oral morphine mum was getting through and asked if we could sort a review for next week. I reminded them she had a broken arm as well as cancer but that of course we’d get something sorted for after the Bank Holiday weekend and headed to mums. I was gone for maybe 5 days and the change was somewhat significant. I feel like an idiot now for not seeing it, but she was clearly so very poorly. Not much sleep that Thursday night as I wanted to be on hand in case something happened. I was dozing on the sofa when mum’s support worker arrived (they were absolutely sensational and deserve the earth!), and then before she left, the support worker pulled me aside and said, ‘Your mum can’t stay at home anymore, she really does need round the clock care, and she’s not set up here for that’. She was 100% right of course but what the f**k do I do now? Pete (mum’s husband) was with mum, so I popped over to see one of Mum’s friends (Kate) to ask for advice. She agreed mum needed to be admitted somewhere and from hers I rang the support workers to ask what I should do. ‘Ring 999, explain the situation. Paramedics should be able to come, assess your mum and get her into a community hospital. Then you can make a plan from there’.

That all sounds straightforward enough, but mum was as stubborn as a mule and never liked a fuss. What if she refused to go? I drove home and just took the bull by the horns. Mum didn’t even put up a fight, which just shows how bad things were, and agreed she needed to go somewhere. I rang 999 and went through the motions. A while later the paramedics showed up and did a brilliant job, they agreed mum needed to go somewhere and gave a very thorough assessment which then helped mum get into a community hospital in North Cornwall (the only place with a spare bed). It was Good Friday, a Bank Holiday, of course so this meant everything took that much longer. Not that I’m moaning, it was all to help mum but from the conversation with the support worker to mum being taken off in the ambulance was about 9 hours. I was exhausted, and so sad to see mum go off again because Cornish hospitals were still on lockdown so I couldn’t go with her. Or visit. I feel so sad knowing that that was the last time she was at home. A shout out here to my friend Annie, who is a GP, that gave me a lot of advice that day and reassured me I was doing the right thing. Thank you, in these instances it's so hard to know if what you're doing is for the best.

Over the next week there were multiple phone calls, between me & the hospital, me and family members, me & mum trying to keep on top of it all with the hope of getting mum into a hospital closer to where she lived. The community hospital where mum was, wasn’t the same one as she went to for her cancer treatment. She had an important oncology appointment coming up and I was doing my best to make sure that one way or another that appointment was kept so there would be an update on her treatment. The nurses and clerical staff were brilliant and assured me they were communicating constantly with mum’s oncology team, and I wasn’t to worry.

Friday 22nd April 2022. In the morning I made yet another call just for an update on mum and that they were still aware of the oncology appointments she had the following week. Same day, in the afternoon, I got a phone call.

Doctor: ‘Hello is that Lucy, Maggie’s daughter?’

Me: ‘Yes that’s me, how can I help?’

Doctor: ‘I understand you’re worried about your mum making her oncology appointments next week?’

Me: ‘Yes, I know mum’s been worried about them so just want to make sure everything’s being done to make them happen one way or another’

Doctor: ‘Ok. Well I’m ringing to let you know that those appointments no longer matter, it's not going to make any difference. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

And that’s how I was told my lovely, lovely mum wasn’t going to make it.

Me: ‘Yes, yes I understand’.

Doctor: ‘We’re now looking at end of life care’.

Me: ‘Ok. Are you able to give a timeframe, and can I see her? I don’t want her to be on her own’

Doctor: ‘In these instances I use something called “Would I be surprised if?”. Would I be surprised if she passed away tonight, no but then also I wouldn’t be surprised if she lasted another month. However, it’s likely to be sooner rather than later. And yes, now she is at end of life you can be at the hospital as much as you want.

Me: ‘Ok. So, I should call my brother then? He lives in the US’.

Doctor: ‘Well actually your mum said not to worry him’ (typical mum!)

Me: ‘Well I’m going to ring him’

Doctor: ‘I would too. Do you have any questions for me?’

Me: ‘Not right now. I’ve got phone calls to make then I’m going to come and see mum.

Those appointments aren’t going to matter anymore. They're not going to make any difference. Do you understand what I’m saying? I’m sure there’s no easy way to tell someone a loved one is dying but that was pretty brutal. One simple phrase that changed my world forever in less than 10 seconds. And now I had to be the person to change everyone else’s worlds and begun the job of ringing friends and family.

Dan, my brother, was the absolute priority. I didn’t want to talk to anyone else until I’d spoken to him. Earlier on I’d sent him an update that everything seemed to be in hand and that not much else would probably change as we were headed into the weekend. Boy was I wrong. ‘Conveniently’ Dan had a day off so was playing golf. With his phone switched off. Thankfully his lovely, lovely wife Denise got hold of his friend who he was with, and after a long 20 minutes Dan rang back. I kept just apologising because I knew that what I was saying was just as devastating to hear as it was to say. He said he’d be there as soon as he could. Both of us knowing that a huge amount could happen whilst he was travelling from the East Coast of the US.

And then I carried on with the phone calls to make sure everyone that needed to know did. In the midst of all of that mum rang me, I told her that the doctor had been in touch and that I was on my way down to see her. ‘Oh don’t worry about that Lucy, don’t feel like you have to come rushing down here’. Once again, typical mum, more worried about me than what she was going through. I told her that I really wanted to see her and she replied with ‘ok then, you do what’s best’.

It was an hour from Exeter, where I live, to the hospital where mum was. All the way down grateful that silly season hadn’t started in earnest, so the road wasn’t covered in ‘emmetts’ (tourists) but also on high alert in case I got THAT phone call. It was lovely to see mum, but I had to follow strict COVID protocols which meant not just a mask but gloves and a plastic apron. To this day I cannot for the life of me remember if mum ever saw me again without my mask on. I guess it doesn’t really matter but again that’s just something else that makes me feel sad.

Mum and I had a lovely chat about various things, to the point where I thought ‘f**k, does she know she’s dying? Do I have to tell her as well??’ but then she reminded me she didn’t want a funeral. Oh and that her grandmother had passed away in the same hospital.

When someone is that poorly, but you know how limited their time is, you are torn between wanting to spend as much time as possible with them but also giving them some time to rest. After a while mum kept drifting off (I probably wasn’t the most exciting of company!) so we said our goodbyes and I headed home. I made no mention that Dan was on his way, I didn’t want her to stress. Or tempt fate.

As I drove back I crossed everything that Dan would make it to England ok and that mum would live through the night to see him.

The following morning, Dan had arrived safely in England and mum had made it through the night. Phew. Dan got to Exeter around lunchtime, and we headed straight to the hospital. As we walked into Mum’s room, she just went ‘What on earth are you doing here?’ to Dan, to which he replied very casually, ‘well I just thought I’d pop over and see you’. Mum was of course, absolutely delighted. Over the next few days we fell into the routine of going down for the afternoon, reminiscing about everything with mum. Dan and his family had recently been on holiday, so mum loved seeing the photos. And me, well I had Harold.

During the first lockdown in 2020 I discovered I had a hedgehog living in my garden and mum thought it was the best thing ever and loved getting updates about him. 2021 there was no sign of him, and I remember mum sadly saying he must have moved on. Fast forward to 2022, on the Sunday evening once we were back from the hospital I was picking in washing from the garden (how the Jesus did I have the capacity to not only put a wash on but hang it out??) when I heard a load of rustling. And there was Harold!!!! I managed to get a quick video, excited about showing mum the next day but also started crying at the sad serendipity of it all. I walked back in to my flat still sobbing with Dan going ‘what are you crying about now?’. The next day mum loved the video, and it was great she could see him one more time. I appreciate it may not have been the exact same hedgehog from 2020 but where’s your sentimentality?

Those first few days Dan was there gave mum a massive lift. She was on top form, and at one point I pondered out loud to Dan that maybe I should have waited. Was I wrong to get him to rush over so quickly? We agreed that of course it was the right thing to do. But at the time you question everything.

One of the other things that mum enjoyed was seeing Dan & I together, and our various bickering (my car was too hot/my flat too cold/he’s too loud). I am very grateful that he’s a such a decent brother (although writing that risks me never hearing the end of that compliment). There’s no way I could have gone through any of that on my own. Dan loves Wine Gums, but they don’t sell them in the US, so I’d bought a load for the car journeys. On hearing this mum was quite put out that we didn’t bring the Wine Gums in with us. I said I could go and get them but then it transpired that what mum really wanted was Jelly Babies. Dan and I were incredulous, we’d never known mum to like Jelly Babies but of course we would buy her as many as she wanted. Those last few days that was the only things she ate. After she passed away, we were talking to our dad about it, and he said that when they’d first got together, she loved Jelly Babies. Well, there you go.

One of the harder things to get our heads around was that mum had made some passing comments about maybe being able to die at home. Mum had always been really clear about what would happen after she died but there was never a discussion about how she wanted to die (other than ‘if I’m plugged in to all kinds of machines just turn me off.’ Yes mum). As mentioned earlier everything deteriorated and happened very fast. Mum went from essentially being ok (with support) to needing to be in hospital and this all happened before we knew she was ‘end of life’. There was some back and forth between Dan & I, mum’s doctor, and mum. The Doctor’s perspective on it was that mum probably wouldn’t survive the ambulance journey home and that there wasn’t enough time to get everything in place that was needed. But that if that’s what mum really wanted, they could see what they could do to make it happen. Dan & I have one last conversation about it all with mum, and she conceded she’d be better off staying put. That was tough, it would be one of the last things mum wanted and it couldn’t happen.

COVID was still causing issues of course. Due to the strict rules initially only close family members were allowed to visit. Mum had some lovely friends who also really wanted to see her, but they understood the situation. Then, by some miracle, on the Monday the rules changed – anyone could come and see mum as long as it was only 2 at a time and they wore full PPE. Thank goodness. That same day, Kate (mentioned earlier) came to see mum. At the same time Dan & I were driving back to Exeter musing that mum had less energy that day.

Tuesday 26th April 2022. 1.30am(ish). My phone rings. It’s the hospital, ‘your mum’s breathing has changed, you should probably get down here’. They say you shouldn’t haven your favourite songs as your ringtone mine was, and still is, ‘Hammer to Fall’ by Queen. It’s very rare now I have my phone on any other setting than silent but when my ringer is on, I still get a jolt of panic thanks to that early morning call.

I woke Dan up, we got changed and headed down to the hospital as quickly as possible. All the while not knowing what we may find when we get there. It was about 3am when we arrived, on the way down Dan had rung Pete (mum’s husband). He didn’t answer so we texted his son Steve who lived nearby. Pete didn’t want to come to the hospital, but Steve would meet us there.

Mum was still alive when we got there as we quietly put on all the PPE for the millionth time and made our way through the semi-dark eerily quiet hospital. And for the next few hours Dan & I said a whole host of things to mum (who was asleep, unconscious?). Mainly how she didn’t have to worry about us anymore, she could go, and we loved her very much. This was interspersed with Dan & Steve having the most random conversations ever. It was all very surreal.

As the sun came up Steve had to leave to go to work and Dan and I passed out for a bit. He has a picture of me asleep curled up on two chairs in full PPE. Then the support staff kindly bought me coffee and toast and we sat there still talking to mum.

Then all of a sudden, she woke up. ‘What are you doing here?’ I explained the overnight staff were worried about her breathing, so we thought we’d pop down. Steve was here too, did you hear us chatting? No? Probably for the best as him and Dan were talking about all sorts at a bizarre time of the day.

Other friends and family wanted to come and see mum that day, so on checking mum was ok with it as well as the hospital staff, I liaised with them about coming down. Pete's daughter & son-in-law and mum's friend Delma. It was one of those bizarre scenarios where it was great to see them but terrible in such sad circumstances. Mum was delighted to see them all and have a chat.

During the afternoon Dan & I agreed we wouldn’t go anywhere now just in case. So that evening we took turns to go and get something to eat, whilst the other sat with mum. She and I chatted about random things. Including ‘the lady with the curtain trousers’. When I was about 14 mum & I went to Tesco’s to do the shopping and as we walked in, we clocked a woman wearing the most ridiculous pair of trousers that looked like a pair of curtains. They made us both crack up, and as we made our way around the shop everytime we saw her we’d burst out laughing again. Mum had a good chuckle at that and said something along the lines of ‘always remember the good’. That’s all you can do.

The hospital were fine with us staying the night but they weren’t set up with extra beds for family members etc. so they kindly bought us blankets and pillows to do the best we could. I can only sleep if I’m horizontal, so I piled up a load of blankets to sleep on the floor at the end of mum’s bed. Dan tried to get as comfy as possible in the chairs.

In the room next to mum’s was a lady with dementia (I’m assuming) who was very scared and throwing everything around her room and banging her chair up and down. The nurses were doing their best to calm her down but in the midst of all of that mum asked what was going on and Dan & I explained what was happening but that she was safe. That may have been the last thing mum ever said, once again worrying about everyone else before herself.

Non-surprisingly, sleeping on a hospital floor was not particularly brilliant. Especially as every couple of hours they had to do checks on mum, and we weren’t allowed to be in the room when those happened so had to get up and sit in the day room. At around 4am Dan & I agreed that if we did this every night, we’d be no use to anyone so first thing in the morning we’d try and find somewhere really close to the hospital to stay so we could get a bit of rest. Bearing in mind by this point that other than a few short bursts of sleep we’d been awake for more than 24 hours. A well intentioned night-time porter started listing off all the places we could stay whilst I was awkwardly thanking him but also making it clear (by slowly lying down on my hospital floor blanket bed) that I’d quite like to just go back to sleep now.

7am Wednesday 27th April 2022. As the hospital sprung back into life, I said I’d drive back to Exeter as fast as I could to grab stuff Dan & I would need to stay somewhere for a few days (bearing in mind we had barely bought anything with us when we left the day before), medication for both of us being the most important thing. My theory being the sooner I left the sooner I’d be back. I was about 20 miles from Exeter when Dan rang. ‘You need to get back here now, the Doctors reckon she’ll pass this morning’. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. What a stupid thing, why did I leave?? I came off at the next junction and headed south again as quickly as I could. Although I know for sure I broke some speed limits that morning. I got back to the hospital at about 9am ran from my car to the ward where mum was and started grappling at the roll of plastic aprons to put on. Fucking PPE. Bloody COVID. The nurses seeing the state I was in just said ‘don’t worry just go to your mum’. Whilst I’d been gone, they’d moved mum to a different room and put a picture of a butterfly outside the door so everyone was aware of the situation. I ran in. Mum was still alive but by this point I couldn’t breathe at all so Dan had to calm me down, so I didn’t hyperventilate. The sheer mixture or panic and relief was extraordinary but I was glad I made it back before anything happened.

We then sat and just talked to mum again. She was unconscious but we rattled through a whole load of topics, ranging from the view from her new room and the trees we could see to the fact that I was annoyed that Dan managed to get a sausage & bacon bap but by the time I went to buy some breakfast they’d run out of sausages. Some point late morning I decided to play her her birthday video again so she could hear all those messages of love one last time.

I’d never seen someone die before. It is truly horrible to watch someone you love be in so much pain, wanting it to be over for them but also not wanting them to go. This was nothing like what you see on the TV or in movies. No machines, just mum in bed occasionally being checked in on by nurses making sure she was getting enough pain medication. Oh, and lovely porters coming in and asking if we wanted a hot drink….and biscuits! Apparently, biscuits are cracked out in the final hours, although they were rich teas. Not that I’m ungrateful but when your mum is dying that does seem more like a hobnob or milk chocolate digestive occasion. Months later when the Queen died my brother texted ‘Do you reckon they got nice biscuits?’.

The death rattle is the worse though. These massive excruciating sounding deep breaths that suddenly stop and you wonder, is this it?? And this they start all over again.

Around 1pm suddenly they did stop. And didn’t seem to start again. I said to Dan that I thought this might be it and went to get the nurse. She came in and told us to say all of our favourite things about mum which we did whilst I held one of her hands (the other still being in a sling from the broken arm). And then the nurse said, ‘ok, she’s gone. I always ask family to say their favourite things at the very end as the hearing is the last thing to go so it makes sure the last things they hear are good things’. Throughout all of this it was so incredibly quiet, it was almost as if everyone on the ward knew it was the end. Even the lady with dementia was quiet, no shouting or throwing things around.

And that was it. Mum was gone. At just 70 years old. But at least she wasn’t in pain anymore. The nurse said we could stay with her as long as we wanted and there was no rush for us to leave.

We sat for a while, still talking to mum just in case but then agreed that we’d go and make all the various phone calls whilst the hospital staff did what they needed to do with mum.

Again, making those various phone calls was horrible but at least people were expecting them. But that probably doesn’t make things any easier. I was sat on a bench in the hospital garden when this little brown bird just came and hopped around by my feet for a bit. I’m not religious at all, but mum always loved birds so the hysterically tired and emotional part of me did wonder if that might be mum’s spirit saying goodbye before she flew off forever.

Back inside we said our final goodbyes to mum and then tackled the first part of admin that has to be dealt with when someone dies. The receptionist was explaining to us about the process & paperwork associated with getting mum from the hospital to the undertakers. All the while the lady with dementia was back, and in full swing. She’d gotten hold of a tea towel and was stood behind the receptionist flicking it at us whilst shouting ‘GET OUT GET OUT’. Don’t worry love, we’ll be on our way soon.

Dan & I then drove back to Exeter trying to get our head around the most horrific 48 hours. That evening we toasted mum with prosecco and strapped ourselves into the inevitable emotional rollercoaster that would have no end.

If you’ve made it as far as here, well done. I appreciate it was a lot to take in. My intention was to tell the story of mum’s final months and also highlight just exactly what they entailed. When someone dies people focus on the impact that person being dead has on those that loved them. What they might not realise is the lead up to the death is just as traumatising and horrific to deal with than the death itself. Selfishly, I also wanted to write this just so people realised what Dan & I had to go through. Not for anyone to feel sorry for us but just so they understand what a momentous thing it was, and that even though it’s been a whole year we’re still reeling. I know there'll be people out there who had to go through much much worse but that doesn't make our story any less valid. I don’t think you ever get over something like this, you learn to live with the pain and continue on making sure you do everything you can to honour that person’s memory.

Maggie Moyle Amazing mum, wife & 'Gi Gi' (grandmother). 05/04/52 - 27/04/22

Onwards and upwards.

[mirandamckenni1]

CASEY CALVERT: Tiger King Parody, Imposter Syndrome, & BDSM | The ADULT TIME Podcast With Bree Mills In this episode, host Bree Mills chats with longtime friend and Adult Time Ambassador Casey Calvert! First introduced to the world of adult entertainment through a university lecture, Casey discusses her namesake professor and her transition from fetish model to award winning actress, writer, and director. Casey and Bree relive their early memories of meeting in the industry, Casey’s early Adult Time projects as an actress, before discussing Casey’s foray into directing for Adult Time’s studio GIRLSWAY. From directing 'Cougar Queen: A Tiger King Parody,' the complications of sexting, and THAT infamous custom video, tune in to hear Casey and Bree talk full-circle moments, keeping track of your bodycount, and SO MUCH MORE! ABOUT ADULT TIME: Adult Time is a digital subscription platform for a new era of adult entertainment. We are a brand built by people who believe in a future where mature audiences can safely, securely, and proudly have a place in their lineup for premium adult content. In addition to our addictive programming, Adult Time is dedicated to creating a personalized content experience for all our viewers with 400+ channels, 60,000 episodes, and VR and interactive toy integration. THE ADULT TIME PODCAST: Casey Calvert: https://ift.tt/t13pz67 Bree Mills: https://ift.tt/fD9G02v Podcast Website: https://ift.tt/dI5CJFl Apple Podcasts: https://ift.tt/EDkhnQa Spotify: https://ift.tt/zGQc4S3 More Episodes: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrl2wwrIXahpSfP2VOPQ79aH9F7Xa_cPl YouTube Shorts: https://www.youtube.com/@AdultTimeHQ/shorts TIMESTAMPS: (00:00) Intro (00:34) First Meeting Memories (00:55) First Work Experience (03:37) Character Dynamics (04:12) Industry Inspiration (06:01) Casey's Journey into the Industry (08:18) First Encounter with Porn (10:27) AD BREAK: SPUN | A Girlsway Original Film (11:27) Media Influence on Sexuality (12:30) Learning About Sexuality (13:17) Contact with Professor (14:26) Early Set Experiences (15:45) Transition from Performer to Director (18:07) Spiegel's Influence (19:09) The Wise Old Sage of Porn (20:34) Transitioning Roles (21:41) Lessons Learned in Directing (23:09) Biggest Lessons in the Industry (24:34) Value of Performer Perspective (26:00) AD BREAK: THE BOTTOM FLOOR | An Adult Time Original Film (26:40) Adrenaline of Winning (28:02) Impact of Awards on Imposter Syndrome (30:28) Unique Custom Requests (31:27) The Stamp Collection Custom (32:35) The Heart of Custom Work (33:36) Current Custom Work (34:43) AD BREAK: Home Sweet Home | A PURE TABOO Original Film (36:03) Returning to Girls Way (36:58) SPUN Feature Film (38:42) Cougar Queen and Directing via Zoom (40:04) Creative Adaptation During Lockdown (40:33) Shooting Remote Projects (41:05) Fan Reactions to Remote Content (41:31) Challenges of Remote Filming (42:10) Adventures in the Studio (42:52) Industry Misconceptions (43:34) RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS (44:20) Preferences in Relationships (44:50) Sexting vs. Phone Sex (45:26) Imposter Syndrome in Sexting (47:35) Role Play Scenarios (48:02) Tracking Sexual Encounters (49:31) Monthly Reconciliation Process (49:50) Identifying Frequent Collaborators (51:02) Closing Thoughts on Casey's Journey SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CHANNEL ➡️ https://www.youtube.com/@AdultTimeHQ?sub_confirmation=1 #adulttime #streaming #movies #tv #entertainment #tvshows #film #shortfilm #caseycalvert #lesbianfilm #podcast #adultpodcast via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCLl1KZQdcg

[jtl-fics]

New kings =♡♡=

12/18/24 WIP Wednesday (CLOSED) | New Kings AU

The rest of the bus ride goes like this with eventually deciding that they’ll just need to dissolve the wager. Neil may have been poking the Raven King with a stick, but it was through the veil of fake pleasantness.

If anything Kevin’s revelation to the camera and audience had been what anyone would remember about that interview. A part of Seth wonders if he’ll get any offers this year just because people might watch Kevin Day compliment his play style and talent just to get to the juicy details of who it was that Kayleigh Day banged ages ago.

Still weird to think about, no matter how many similarities he can now see between Coach Wymack and Kevin Day.

Merry WIPMAS! Check out what is on offer: HERE

[bystreetlight]

Apparently it's the 21st of December so I better do this!!

1. What did you do in 2023 that you hadn’t done before? Went to a therapist, went to a Grand Final at the MCG, participated in the inaguration of a Governor and the swearing-in of a Premier…

2. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not this year!

3. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no.

4. Did you travel? Where did you go? Best holiday memory? Went to Mildura twice (in March and December) and had THREE actual HOLIDAYS (to Brisbane in May, King Valley in September and Adelaide in October). Best holiday memory was the amazing vibes in Brisbane, a city I've always treated with disdain but turns out it's actually quite cool and I enjoyed it thoroughly?!?!? And seeing Chromeo in Adelaide.

5. Best thing you bought? Even though we "bought" it in 2022 we only got our new car in May and that was definitely the highlight of the year 🚗

6. Where did most of your money go? Savings? Mortgage repayments? When our hot water service died and we had to replace it? Far out when did I get so fucking old 😭

7. What do you wish you had done more of? I feel like I got the balance right in a lot of areas this year so I can't really think of anything!

8. What do you wish you had done less of? Stressing about rain and bad weather THANKS PTSD!!!!

9. What kept you sane? Having a job that I enjoy and an awesome team! I had to spend a lot of time back in the office this year and that made it a lot easier!!

10. What drove you mad? When Finland got robbed at Eurovision. When the Premier resigned during Grand Final week and I had to work my tits off instead of enjoying the week. When our car kept taking longer and longer to get delivered.

11. What made you celebrate? Seeing Collingwood win a Grand Final IN PERSON! The Matildas amazing run at the Women's World Cup!

12. What made you sad? Andre Braugher dying, the genocide in Gaza, the Yes referendum failing so fucking miserably, Rafa missing the entire year through injury.

13. How was your birthday this year and how old did you turn? It was a Wednesday so I worked from home and no one in my new team knew it was my birthday and I didn't say anything so it was very uneventful! Went and saw &Juliet that weekend which was fabulous! I turned 39.

14. What political issue stirred you the most this year? Probably the referendum. Best not to think about it.

15. What was the best meal you ate in 2023? The sandwiches from Sardinas are genuinely the best sandwiches I've ever eaten in my life.

16. What would you like to have in 2024 that you didn’t have this year? I would love to leave the country but if that's the only thing I can think of it seems very self-indulgent, especially in this economy!!!

17. What date(s) from 2023 will be etched in your memory and why? 5-8 May - went to Brisbane for MAGIC ROUND and it was truly a life-changing experience.

18. What song will remind you of 2023? Dance the Night - Dua Lipa.

19. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I think so! My resolution was to look after myself after forming some bad habits during the Lockdown Years™. I got back into pilates and have been pretty good with exercising and eating well and keeping on top of all my boring health responsibilities! I also wanted to do an insta post each month and to read more books and I achieved both of those! Next year I think I'm going to make a fun resolution. I want to take more photos or do something creative on the regular.

20. Did you suffer illness or injury? I developed eustachian tube dysfunction after an ear infection, which has not gone away and FUCKING SUCKS. Otherwise I think I've kept pretty well this year. And I've managed to avoid getting c*vid again which is a miracle.

21. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? A bit happier, mainly because this time last year we had no car and we'd just been robbed hahahaha. ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner, although as every year that I fill this thing in goes by I feel like it's less about being thin and more about just being fit and healthy! iii. richer or poorer? Richer? Marginally?

22. How will you be spending Christmas? I have 10 days off over Christmas/New Year, which I was "strongly recommended" to take as I have "excess leave" lol. Christmas Day at the in-laws as per usual, then maybe a day at the cricket, maybe a beach trip or two, and hopefully some sleeping past 7am?!?!

23. What was your favourite movie? PAST LIVES. My god. As someone who often drifts off into nostalgia and 'what-ifs' and thinking about people I cared about in my younger years this movie floored me.

24. What was your favourite TV program? The final season of Succession DESTROYED me. I still think about it on an almost daily basis which is probably unhealthy 😂. Also loved The Last of Us, S2 of The Bear, the final season of Reservation Dogs, The Newsreader, Alone Australia, Beef until everyone in it got cancelled…and I just started Yellowjackets (late to the party) and I'm obsessed with it!!

25. What was the best book you read? Crossing the Line by Nick McKenzie. And I'm about halfway through Still Life by Sarah Winman which I am LOVING.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? I feel like I flogged some old favourites this year (hello Chromeo as my top artist on Spotify Wrapped hahaha), rather than getting into anyone new...

27. What did you want and get? A holiday! THANK CHRIST! And for my period to stop after having a Mirena put in late last year 🥳🥳🥳

28. What did you want and not get? To recover properly from a traumatic experience that has left me sometimes crippled with anxiety. I suppose there's always next year hahahahah.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? I genuinely tried not to spend too much on clothes this year but I had to step up my work outfit game for my new job which was sort of annoying? I don't really know what my 'concept' was though…trying not to get sucked in to 90s trends that I lived through the first time that didn't warrant a second go?

30. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Pedro Pascal and Bad Bunny together on SNL, Arian Moayed until he came out as an Isr*el apologist, several NRL footballers that I'm not inclined to admit to publicly…

31. Biggest achievement this year? Not killing myself when we had to wait 7 months for our car and had to walk and get the bus everywhere and it truly sucked my will to live.

32. Biggest disappointment this year? When our amazing lawnmowing man closed his business and we had to try and find a new person and it's been a fucking nightmare!!!!

33. What is the one thing that would have made you more satisfied? If Tim and Dale had got together on The Newsreader. I'm going to say that every year until I'm dead.

34. Best new person you met this year? The kookaburras that live in the park next to work don't really count but I'm putting them anyway. And Boyd Cordner.

35. A valuable life lesson you learnt this year? They say a change is as good as a holiday but actually a holiday is the only thing as good as a holiday.

[kickmag]

Jalen Ngonda Announces Debut Album & Drops Video For Come Around And Love Me

Jalen Ngonda starts summer with the '60s soul-styled single "Come Around And Love Me" from his forthcoming debut album. The Daptone Records artist released the video today vide that he stars in with his guitar. The Marvin Gaye influence is a warm throwback feeling that Ngonda confidently brings into the 21st century. He describes the tune in a press statement: 

"It was written in late 2021 as soon as it was possible to fly to the USA after lockdown I jumped on a plane and we got to work! The song is about taking a chance in spite of the surrounding doubts.”

The DC native who makes London his home, recorded "Come Around And Love Me" in Brooklyn with producers and arrangers Mike Buckley and Vincent Chiarito of Charles Bradley's Extraordinaires. Ngonda's proudly claims his love of Motown and classic soul and those sounds will be on his debut. The album is also named Come Around And Love Me and has a release date of September 8th. He is going on a tour of some European cities this summer more than 20 North American cities in the fall. Tickets are available for both tours.

   Tour Dates

09/05 - Asheville, NC @ Grey /Eagle

09/06 - Atlanta, GA @ Terminal West

09/07 - Durham, NC @ Motorco

09/08 - Charlottesville, VA @ The Southern

09/11 - Cambridge, MA @ The Sinclair

09/12 - Philadelphia, PA @ MilkBoy

09/14 - Baltimore, MD @ 8x10

09/15 - Washington, DC @ Black Cat

09/16 - New York, NY @ Racket

09/18 - Toronto, ON @ Horseshoe

09/19 - Detroit, MI @ El Club

09/21 - Evanston, IL @ SPACE

09/24 - Minneapolis, MN @ Fine Line

09/27 - Denver, CO @ Globe Hall

09/28 - Boulder, CO @ Fox Theatre

09/30 - Ft. Collins, CO @ The Armory

10/01 - Salt Lake City, UT @ State Room

10/03 - Boise, ID @ The Olympic

10/05 - Seattle, WA @ Madame Lou's

10/06 - Vancouver, BC @ Hollywood Theatre

10/07 - Portland, OR @ The Jack London Revue

10/09 - San Francisco, CA @ The Chapel

10/10 - Sacramento, CA @ Starlet Room

10/11 - San Luis Obispo, CA @ SLO Brew

10/14 - Los Angeles, CA @ Gold Diggers

10/15 - San Diego, CA @ The Casbah

10/16 - Phoenix, AZ @ Last Exit

10/18 - Dallas, TX @ Deep Ellum Arts Collective 

10/19 - Austin, TX @ Empire Garage Control Room

10/20 - Houston, TX @ Axlerad

10/22 - Nashville, TN @ Basement East

11/01 - Glasgow, SCT @ King Tut’s

11/02 - Liverpool, UK @ Jimmy's

11/04 - Birmingham, UK @ O Institutes

11/06 - Bristol, UK @ Exchange

11/07 - London, UK @ Jazz Cafe

11/08 - Rotterdam, NL @ Bird

11/09 - Paris, FR @ Cafe De La Danse

[olko71]

New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on http://yaroreviews.info/2023/02/bp-scales-back-climate-targets-as-profits-hit-record

BP scales back climate targets as profits hit record

Getty Images

By Nick Edser, Daniel Thomas & Noor Nanji

Business reporters

Energy giant BP has reported record annual profits as it scaled back plans to reduce the amount of oil and gas it produces by 2030.

The company’s profits more than doubled to $27.7bn (£23bn) in 2022, as energy prices soared after Russia invaded Ukraine.

Other energy firms have seen similar rises, with Shell reporting record earnings of nearly $40bn last week.

It has led to calls for energy firms to pay more tax as people’s bills soar.

BP boss Bernard Looney said the British company was “helping provide the energy the world needs” while investing the transition to green energy.

But it came as the firm scaled back plans to cut carbon emissions by reducing its oil and gas output.

The company – which was one of the first oil and gas giants to announce an ambition to cut emissions to net zero by 2050 – had previously promised that emissions would be 35-40% lower by the end of this decade.

However, on Tuesday it said it was now targeting a 20-30% cut, saying it needed to keep investing in oil and gas to meet current demands.

How much windfall tax are oil giants paying?

Shell reports highest profits in 115 years

Climate campaign group Greenpeace, whose voice the BBC has included because of the impact of oil and gas production on the environment, said BP’s new strategy “seems to have been strongly undermined by pressure from investors and governments to make even more dirty money out of oil and gas”.

Energy prices had begun to climb following the end of Covid lockdowns but rose sharply in March last year after Russia invaded Ukraine, sparking concerns about global supplies.

The price of Brent crude oil reached nearly $128 a barrel, but has since fallen back to about $80. Gas prices also spiked but have come down from their highs.

It has led to bumper profits for energy companies, but also fuelled a rise in energy bills for households and businesses.

Last year, the government introduced a windfall tax – called the Energy Profits Levy – on the “extraordinary” profits being made at energy companies.

The rate was originally set at 25%, but has now been increased to 35%, and only applies to profits made from extracting UK oil and gas. Oil and gas firms also pay 30% corporation tax on their profits as well as a supplementary 10% rate, taking their total tax rate to 75%.

However, they can reduce the amount of tax they pay by factoring in losses or spending on things like decommissioning North Sea oil platforms.

BP said its UK business, which accounts for less than 10% of its global profits, will pay $2.2bn in tax for 2022, including $700m due to the Energy Profits Levy.

‘Windfalls of war’

Andrew Griffith, Economic Secretary to the Treasury, who the BBC spoke to for the government’s position, said the windfall tax struck the “right balance” between helping families with the cost of living and securing the UK’s energy supplies. He said its aim was to encourage re-investment of the sector’s profits back into the economy

Nick Butler, previously a senior executive at BP and now a visiting professor at Kings College, who the BBC spoke to because of his industry experience, said oil and gas prices would not remain “exceptionally high” forever.

“This is a temporary situation. Oil and gas prices are going down and the windfall these companies are making won’t last.”

In a year that BP boss Bernard Looney described the company as a cash machine, it is little wonder that progressive think tank IPPR called these profits scandalous as millions struggled to pay bills.

The company paid £1.8bn in UK tax – a big increase on a previous estimate – as extra windfall levies pushed the overall tax rate on UK profits to 75%.

Labour said the taxes should be still higher and better incentivise investment in renewables. Perhaps most controversially, BP announced it would miss its targets to reduce oil and gas production by 2030 as it said it would match investment in lower carbon projects with new investment in fossil fuels and extend the life of existing oil and gas projects.

While shareholders may be making the least noise today, their voice is arguably the loudest when BP’s competitors like Shell and Exxon are also making record profits.

Labour and the Liberal Democrats, who we’ve included to explain the opposition’s point of view, said the profits were outrageous and called on the government to increase the windfall tax.

The government has had to step in to limit household energy bills, with the average home now paying £2,500 a year, although this is still more than double what it was a year ago.

The cap on bills will also rise to £3,000 from April, although analysts expect households to pay less than that due to a recent drop in gas prices.

As well as announcing record profits, BP increased its payout to shareholders by 10%.

BP’s results follow similarly strong profits announced by rivals Shell, Exxon Mobil and Chevron last week.

More on this story

How much windfall tax are oil giants paying?

10 hours ago

Shell reports highest profits in 115 years

5 days ago

[cyarsk52-20]

LIST

NO TIME: THE 25 DOPEST LIL KIM SONGS

By Stereo Williams

Published Tue, March 8, 2022 at 2:00 PM EST

Lil Kim is one of Hip-Hop's most impactful artists. Fans almost draw a line in the sand at when the Brooklyn bombshell dropped her classic debut Hard Core in 1996. It's inaccurate to say that female sexuality was non-existent before K.I.M., but it is absolutely true that no one had asserted it so brazenly or masterfully prior to Kim. 

But Kim's appeal didn't just begin and end at the graphic sexual nature in her lyrics. What made Lil Kim who she became was a rare combination of charisma and vulnerability; an approach that melded high glamour with street rawness. She has it all: the image, the sound and the credibility. She invented a new kind of female rap star that spoke to women and the LGBTQ community in a way that no one prior to her had. And she inspired generations of women who would rap in her wake. 

Having recognized all of that, it could also be argued that Kim's discography doesn't always get it's due. Her persona looms so large that it's almost taken for granted that she has such a strong body of work. Her classic run from Hard Core to The Naked Truth was a roadmap for so many divas-in-waiting, and she dominated the charts with a bevy of iconic singles. We picked the 25 dopest songs from rap's Queen Bee. 

#26

"LADY MARMALADE" CHRISTINA AGUILERA, PINK, MYA, AND LIL KIM [BONUS SONG]

Our BONUS SONG pick is a celebrated classic guest spot! One of the best covers ever made. This chart-topper was also one of the biggest hits of all-time. 

#25

"SHUT UP, B*TCH"

When the Queen Bee was at her most embattled (circa 2005) she was a regular topic for gossip columns and bloggers. Kim took time to settle some scores on this dis track, aimed squarely at personalities like Wendy Williams.

#24

"HOLD ON" FEAT. MARY J. BLIGE

Kim shows love to the fallen Biggie. The third single from Kim's sophomore album "Notorious K.I.M.," it's another example of how great Kim and Mary can be together. 

#23

"THE BEEHIVE" FEAT. REEKS, BUNKY S.A., VEE AND SAINT FROM THE ADVAKIDS

One of the most slept-on tracks in her discography, Kim put this traditional rap posse cut near the end of "La Bella Mafia," and she and the Advakids get to go off. 

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#22

"SUCK MY DICK"

She does it better than anyone. The Queen Bee cums at you with her bawdy best. It's direct. It's succinct. Its quintessentially Lil Kim. 

#21

"CAME BACK FOR YOU"

An underrated pairing with Kanye West, this track was one of the standouts on "La Bella Mafia" and features an inspired Irene Reid sample. 

#20

"(WHEN KIM SAY) CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW" FEAT. MISSY ELLIOTT

Missy and Kim have always had a potent musical chemistry; and they get to get in sync on this percolating semi-single from "La Bella Mafia."

#19

"SPELL CHECK"

After her 2007 perjury conviction and subsequent sentence to one year in prison, the sting of betrayal was evident in Kim's lyrics. On this scalding diss track, she took aim at everyone from her former Junior M.A.F.I.A. brethren to 50 Cent.

#18

"WHOA"

Coinciding with her 2006 reality show, Lil Kim: Countdown to Lockdown, this single served as that show's theme song. And fans also peeped the salvo aimed at Junior M.A.F.I.A.

#17

"NASTY ONE"

Released on her birthday in 2018, it was the expected first single from her forthcoming fifth studio album. That project was delayed, but the single is one of Kim's most effervescent. 

#16

"DOWNLOAD" FEAT. CHARLIE WILSON AND T-PAIN

Charlie-Last-Name-Wilson and the King of Autotune show up to grace this track from 2009. Kim interpolates "Computer Love" with a very '00s listing of techno-innuendo terms. 

#15

"WE DON'T NEED IT"

One of the most memorable album cuts from "Hard Core," this battle-of-the-sexes also doubles as an ode to the joys of oral pleasures. 

#14

"THUG LUV" FEAT. TWISTA

The speedster from the Midwest gets to showcase his gifts on this slept-on track. Kim more than holds her on, over a beat from her then-boyfriend Scott Storch.

#13

"DREAMS"

On one of her most famous and influential tracks, Kim's version of B.I.G.'s controversial "Just Playing" finds her lusting on this ode to male R&B singers of the day.

#12

"NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY"

By 2000, Kim had been through so much. Her stardom was unquestionable, but she was tasked with following up her platinum debut without her longtime partner, The Notorious B.I.G. She answered skeptics with this hit single. 

#11

"MONEY TALKS" FEAT. ANDREA MARTIN

One of the most uniquely infectious tracks in Kim's catalog, this heat rock for Timberland also features the incomparable Andrea Martin and served as the title track for the popular 1997 Chris Tucker comedy. 

#10

"LIGHTERS UP"

On this "Jamrock"-referencing single, Kim showed that she wasn't broken or bowed as she faced legal issues and incarceration. One of the best tracks she ever released, it's so unapologetically NYC. 

#9

"BIG MOMMA THANG" FEAT. JAY-Z AND LIL CEASE

The opening track is everything that announced Kim as a superstar: bold, brazen and bangin.' Jay delivers one of his first high-profile guest spots as Kim makes it clear she's ready for her close-up.

#8

"HOW MANY LICKS" FEAT. SISQO

Another song that is classic Kim. This hit featured Sisqo at his dragon-unleashing peak, and the eye-popping video became one of Kim's most iconic. 

#7

"THE JUMP OFF" FEAT. MR. CHEEKS

Timbaland gave Kim this kinetic track for her to explode on. Mr. Cheeks rides shotgun as Lil Kim delivers one of her all-time best singles. 

#6

"MAGIC STICK" W/50 CENT

This album cut was so popular that it shot to No. 2 on Billboard with no video or physical single release. Evidence that 50 Cent and Lil Kim had great chemistry at one point; but it's still only the second best duet in her discography. 

#5

"CALL ME" W/TOO $HORT

Kim and Too $hort made raunchy rap magic on this standout from the "Booty Call" soundtrack. The Oakland rap godfather sounds comfortably at home next to the Queen Bee, who shows she can match his nasty, bar-for-bar.

#4

"NOT TONIGHT" (LADIES NIGHT REMIX) FEAT. ANGIE MARTINEZ, LEFT EYE, DA BRAT AND MISSY ELLIOTT

Hip-Hop had precious few all-star female posse cuts when Lil Kim tapped four fierce emcees for this girls-night-out classic. An iconic performance at the 1997 MTV Video Music Awards cemented it as a rap standard. 

#3

"NO TIME" FEAT. PUFF DADDY

She'd gained notice in Junior M.A.F.I.A. and was almost seen as a star-in-waiting. But it was "No Time" that confirmed what Hip-Hop already seemed ready to accept: Kimberly Jones is a superstar. 

#2

"CRUSH ON YOU" FEAT. LIL CEASE AND THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

It's infectious and flirty. It's sophisticated and saucy. Lil Kim's iconic single wasn't even her song initially, but the remix video version cemented her star power. And the visuals are as era-defining as they are definitively Kim.

#1

"QUEEN BITCH" FEAT. NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

It's an anthem that announced a legend. It wasn't even a single, but no song seems to capture the essence of Lil Kim's persona like this banger from her debut album. An infamous clip of Biggie's guiding vocal is often used to dismiss Kimberly's input, but her swagger and charisma are oozing out of this track.

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