#Neuro wtf did I write-?

[master-jarrus]

Working on my oni lloyd/raised by garmadon in the movie verse fic (I'm actually on chapter 2 pregnancy brain fog is just so bad that when I read back through with a moment of clarity it's just me going wtf this isn't coherent or in character)

But here are some things I got ironed out below the cut if you want the spoilers

I edited more in*****

Garmadon, Wu and Lloyd are part oni

Movie Koko will just be Misako in this fic and I am blending their personalities (because there are a lot of subtle differences that add up)

Kind of blending movie and show garmadon (it's just really hard for me to write movie garmadon.)

I'm adding in my hc that the Great Devourers venom is a neuro toxin and Garmadon has brain damage to his frontal lobe

Lloyd doesn't want to be a war lord but doesn't really know what else he could possibly do with his life

Lloyd and Jay are going to be the first one to get along because Lloyd discovers Jay and him are mutuals online in Star farer forums and Jay got him into the lore about prime empire

It was Kai's idea to kidnap Lloyd the others went along with it because it seemed like Kai had a solid plan that he just hadn't shared yet

He didn't

Lloyd tracks a particular sea turtle who nests on the volcano because when he was little she used to let him climb onto her back and just ride around and she tends to stay close to the volcano because he feeds her invasive jelly fish (sometimes imported with the purpose of giving to her)

Nya and Lloyd will bond over their mutual hobbies in marine biology and robotics

Lloyd is crazy smart from being around the scientists all the time since they often baby sat him when he wasn't allowed to help take over ninjago

But they did let him learn a lot of lessons the hard way because they were busy doing the research they actually want to do (Garmadon pays really high for engineers so science interns are recommended to go to him if they want to make money for research fast)

Edit:

The royal family is a thing in this au

They and the elected officials benefit from Garmadon attacking the city

He gets tax payer money as a thanks for his contributions in providing distractions for when things are messy

Harumi is the princess and she does still blame Lloyd for the Great Devourer but it's more complicated and definitely not his fault

This au was meant to just be funny but my brain is kind of making it more complicated

[pokegalla]

An idea from @theneurodivergentdummy

This shit right here….lmao so basically you (the reader) is gonna be with me and Neuro here and where we’ll all be judging a competition! Though you might be judging us more then the contestants…..(You are paired up with whoever you want! Just use your imagination!)

Judging or Simping?

You were very damn confused on where the hell you landed yourself in. Ink had decided to pop into your room to ask if you’d like to join a special event. You were a little confused but happily accepted! Only to be thrown into a portal and landing in a chair. You look around to see a stage and that you were sitting in a judge’s seat. Suddenly two more people dropped in, one landing to your left with an oomph and the one to your right screaming and falling into the chair, almost falling on the floor.

“Well that was kinda cool,” The person on the left said, “You good Lisa?”

The person on the right just sighed heavily, “Cross really sucks ass on portals man….At least Dream helped you, Neuro.” She sits up and notices you, “Oh hey. What’s up? Uh sorry for the sudden drop in! What’s your name?”

“Oh hello! I’m (Y/n). I was invited by Ink. But uh what’s going on,” you ask.

Neuro shrugged, “It’s supposed to be a surprise? All I know is that it’s a competition with some Underverse boyos.”

“Oh lord….you already know why Ink invited us then….,” I said chuckling nervously.

Neuro sweat dropped, “Damn Ink is an asshole. But a GOOD asshole.” You sat there a bit confused. What did we mean by that? That’s when Ink suddenly appeared with a microphone.

“Helloooooo humans! Welcome to the special Underverse maid-outfit competition! Where your favorite boys wear maid outfits and YOU have to give them a score out of 10. The winner with the most points wins!” Ink exclaimed. All three of us just stared in disbelief.

“Ain��t no way you ACTUALLY convinced MY bois,” I said.

“Ok maybe two of my bois would agree but….nah ain’t no way he would agree…,” Neuro said.

You were secretly excited but also nervous. Your favorite boy from the Underverse….in a maid outfit. You blushed already imagining it. There’s no way Ink managed.

“Oh I forced them,” Ink stated. It went so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

“…..I’m not even surprised,” I said breaking the silence.

“Oh what does it matter,” Ink said before smirking deviously, “I’m sure you’ll enjoy the show nonetheless~”

“Hell yeah I would! On with the show,” Neuro exclaimed excitedly.

I giggle at Neuro’s enthusiasm while you were still a bit confused. Three people got on stage and Neuro was cheering LOUDLY. You look to see Sugar, Red, and Burgerpants wearing maid outfits. Red was a blushing mess, trying to cover himself in an attempt to save at least a pinch of his dignity.

Sugar kinda just moved the skirt around, “I Quite Like This! It’s Actually So Easy To Move In! And The Stitching Is Done Nicely Well!”

Red peeked at his dress, “….Guess it’s ok.” We all smiled at him, “STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK YOU FREAKS-!”

Burgerpants just stared down, “….Is this what my life has come to?…..actually not too bad. I’ve been through worst.”

Neuro sighed dreamily, “They look so adorable. 10/10~. For all of them~”

“Hmmm….I’d say 10/10 for Sugar but 8/10 for Red and Burgerpants. Their mood is funny but I don’t know, Burgerpants looks ok and Red DOES look cute but I feel like he’s missing something,” I admit.

“Was supposed to have a cat tail with cute little cat ears,” Ink spoke up, “He ripped them up….”

I snapped my fingers, “Yeah that would have been solid 10/10.”

“Fuck you! You’re lucky I even put this shit on!” Red shouted.

“Don’t worry! I’ll get you all a special something as an apology, k? We’ll make it a date. Sound good?” Neuro said.

Red blushed but eventually agreed. Sugar and Burgerpants also looked very happy. You were a bit surprised. Did they….just flirt with them? You were starting to see why these two were invited….and it only confirmed your suspicions when two more people appeared on stage.

“IIIIIIIIIINK,” Error screamed.

“Oh calm yourself. It’s JUST a dress,” Nox simply stated.

“Why am I even here?!” Error then noticed me, “What are YOU doing here?! I told you to stay put in the anti void!!!”

I looked up after being stuck in wonderland, “Oh my bad-GODDAMN! Hol up.” I quickly turn in my seat and covered my face. You could tell I was smiling and gushing over how the two looked in the dresses.

Nox smirked, “Speechless~?” That’s when a flash went off. I had taken a picture.

“Caught yo asses in 4k. This will be my phone’s wallpaper from now on,” I said already changing my wallpaper.

“DELETE IT,” Error shouted glitching out like crazy.

“Ohohoho, Your cousins are gonna love this Noxy~,” I teased.

“Ooooo send me the pic!” Ink said excitedly.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO,” Nox and Error shouted.

Neuro laughed heartily as you just sweat dropped at the sight. What the hell is even going on anymore? That’s when (Favorite Underverse boy of yours) entered as well. You blush seeing how cute they looked in the dress. They noticed you and smiled, embarrassed but happy to see you. Maybe this wasn’t too bad after all….

“Now for the judges to wear the maid outfits!” Ink suddenly announced.

The three of us gulped seeing our boyos smirk deviously at us, “Oh crap-“

[hapuriainen]

Hapuriainen's Animation & Comics & Games of 2020

It is again time for the annual compilation!

Manga:

Attack on Titan

I'm so sad this is so close to end... It's been my main thing for a few years now. Eren definitely didn't take the route I expected but I still find this consistent with his character and a bold and interesting move from the author.

(My notes say I also finished the jr high spin-off manga but it's not worth talking about)

Awards given: Best Side Girl (I still like Gabi, haters gonna hate), Best Boy (ditto Eren)

One Piece, My Hero Academia My interest in OP is still at an all-time low and I'm just waiting for the arc to end. There are so many characters and I have little idea what their deal is, Carrot hasn't been interesting in ages and currently Yamato is the only character I care for. Same for HeroAca; at least the excruciatingly long action scene is finally over.

Undead Unluck New Jump series! I think the main duo have a really good dynamic, but they're pretty much the only thing I care about and I'm very lost with what the plot is actually supposed to be about.

Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro

I like detective stories so here's one from the Assassination Classroom creator! The detective stuff itself could get rather nonsensical and as the story progressed more and more fantasy elements were added, but the titular character was entertaining enough to keep me interested. The viewpoint character was refreshingly (for a Jump series) a girl and her dynamic with Neuro (an ordinary schoolgirl and an arrogant amoral troll demon) was great.

Awards given: Best non-romantic relationship (Neuro & Yako)

Spy x Family

Super fun and the characters are cute!  The main couple has such great chemistry and in general I enjoy following characters who are really competent at their job. Not surprised that this has become hugely popular.

Awards given: Best romance (it is rare to get me to ship anything but the main couple here is just so cute)

Delicious in Dungeon

This manga has amazing character design and the author clearly loves to play around with it, like by drawing each character as each other's races, or making clones of everyone but each clone is a little different so you can guess which is the real one with the characters, and there's so much thought put to the outfits too. And then there's of course all the worldbuilding around how an RPG dungeon and the creatures in it could work, but it's presented simply enough that the story is still easy to follow. I also like the upbeat atmosphere; maybe I could get a bit more emotionally involved if there was more drama, but I still really like this as it is.

Awards given: Best character designs

Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou

Reread one of my favourite manga ever and it's still just as good. I love how the manga still has a positive vibe to it, under it there is the quiet melancholy of a world that is close to ending. And it's wonderful how uninterested the story is answering any of the worldbuilding questions it sets up.

Beastars

This was incredibly interesting in how it presented an animal society where the carnivore-herbivore differences couldn't be just explained away with "the differences don't really exist", and the story looks at this from so many different angles. Pairs really well with Zootopia for a completely different approach. Louis was a really interesting character with how he publicly managed to appear as if he was a good candidate to be the next ambassador for the peace between the animals but was actually very cold and broken inside, and I really liked his breakdown moment. The ending was pretty meh though.

Awards given: Best Side Boy (Louis)

Kannagi

This one has really cute character designs but apart from that it's a pretty generic harem story. Except for the twist that the main girl already had been involved with a boy which caused otaku to shred their manga or whatever. I believe I would have enjoyed this more if it finished back when it went to hiatus since at this point it didn't do much for me.

Witch Hat Atelier

The main girl is the kind of heroic, friendly, plucky goody-two-shoes protagonist I really don't like but apart from that this is a great manga. I love the art, and the way the magic works is really well set up but also easy to understand. Great outfits too!

Anime:

This year I learned that in order to clear stuff from your anime watch list you need to actually watch anime. So unexpectedly I think I watched a lot more different series than usual.

Attack on Titan

It was my plan to watch seasons 1-3 before jumping on board with the last one, and of course I dragged my feet for the entire year and had to marathon the whole thing in autumn. I still prefer the manga, but the anime does have great colours, soundtrack and voice acting and some of the action scenes were amazing. But I really hate what they did to Historia in season 3... The final season has been excellent so far and I can't wait for the big scene in the next episode.

Awards given: Best OP (all the Linked Horizon ones)

Ouran High School Host Club

Haruhi continues to be one of the best girls in the anime and manga industry ever with her confident and no-nonsense attitude, and Tamaki's oblivious and overflowing friendliness makes for a great counterpart to her. And the opening theme is so darn catchy.

Awards given: Best Girl (Haruhi)

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Finally managed to watch this. I love the iconic character designs and all the chaotic energy. Kamina for best bro. I've never cared for mecha, the girls were nice but the writing around them sucked and the second half wasn't as strong as the first one, but still a good package overall.

Awards given: Best ED (don't care for the song that much but Simon looks somehow really cool in the second ending)

Haibane Renmei

Another one that had been on the watch list for years. A lovely quiet and contemplative show. Visuals were rather dull though but maybe it's better for a show like this that the characters didn't have bubblegum pink hair.

Digimon Adventure 2020

This started promising but has since lost steam. I really like how different the story is from the original Digimon Adventure, and compared to Precure it's super nice how not every episode has the exact same structure, and the cast has different roles and regularly gets split up instead of shoehorning everyone into every conflict. But on the other hand the characters feel way more samey and flat, and the original "kids want to return to their home from the Digital World" plot was a lot more personal than the current one about global crises and prophecy jargon. And some of the action scenes last way too long.

Awards given: Worst side boy (Agumon and his evolutions, it is of course expected that he'd get a lot of screen time but I'm so over how much he's constantly pushed in your face in the franchise)

Shuumatsu Nani Shitemasu ka? Isogashii Desu ka? Sukutte Moratte Ii Desu ka?

This wasn't afwul but still left me kind of cold. I think the character designs were a problem here, in general I'm used to brightly coloured anime characters but this was trying to be a very serious story about child soldiers who know they're going to die young. But when they were colour-coded and always wore the same clothes (and mostly had pretty generic animu girl personalities) they felt so artificial which made it harder to get into the drama. Nice OP song.

Yashahime

Inuyasha was my first show after really getting into anime so I was super hyped for any kind of new content. So far this has unfortunately been rather dull since I'm not particularly interested in either of Sesshoumaru's daughters, and the way the show treats the absence of the old cast is annoying. Just either show them or make it clear we're not supposed to care about them, now it's just annoying how their disappearance is treated as a mystery but the three heroines know barely anything about their heritage and don't even seem interested in learning either. But I'll watch this to the end for Moroha.

Kaitou Tenshi Twin Angels, Twin Angel Break, Pretear, Happy Seven, Healin' Good Precure

Watched a lot of magical girl stuff this year too, these being shows that play the tropes straight. The Twin Angel seasons had different flaws but were otherwise watchable aside from the awful Twin Angel Break heroine. Pretear had surprisingly nice character writing and I feel I would really have liked this if I saw it at an earlier part of my anime hobby experience but now it doesn't feel so special any more. Healin' Good Precure has been rather dull.

I also watched a bunch of Precure movies, out of which only the Star Twinkle Precure one was actually good, and the Spring Carnival crossover movie was also good in an absurd way, while the rest ranged from awful to somewhat decent.

Awards given: Worst girl (Meguru - Twin Angel Break), Biggest WTF (Happy Seven suddenly going from monster of the week shenaningans to alien mass destruction weapons)

Concrete Revolutio, Myriad Colors Phantom World, Re:Creators

Also some anime where the magical girl was a side character. Concrete Revolutio was an unpleasant mess with nice visuals, Myriad Colors was a pretty boring otaku high school harem thing and the magical girl episode was also rather bland, and Re:Creators had a lot of potential with the "anime characters come to our world" setting but the result was somewhat uneven. Re:Creators had the best magical girl out of these three.

Awards given: Worst non-romantic relationship, Worst side girl (Setsuna from Re:creators, with the main boy) not really an awful character on her own, but the writing around her was pretty bad, let's also give Worst Boy for the said main boy

Nausicaa

I watched the first half of the movie over a decade ago and didn't manage to finish until now. After seeing so many other Ghibli movies this didn't do much for me, but the animation and nature were still beautiful.

Western:

Most Popular Girls in School

The newer seasons didn't reach the heights of the earlier ones but there's still something entertaining about a very raunchy Barbie doll stop motion show. Also pairs well with the Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse for a fun but more child friendly Barbie experience.

Frozen 2

I'm wondering if these really are the only Western piece of media I consumed this year? I certainly didn't go to movies after March. Anyway, like the previous film I had major problems with the plot and characters (I don't think Elsa's story was set up properly, Kristoff's sub-plot feels like an afterthought when he doesn't factor to Anna's sub-plot at all, Olaf is annoying, too much Lore) but ultimately I still had a good time. I like the costume design, the idea for Elsa's arc is fine, the songs are great and there were plenty of good scenes too, and the lullaby was beautiful. I'd say that like the original Frozen this was patched together from perfectly serviceable pieces that didn't quite work combined.

Awards given: Worst romance (not the pairing itself but the way Kristoff x Anna was written)

Games:

Animal Crossing Pocket Camp

Early this year I just decided not to open this app for the daily money-grubbing grind and haven't touched it since. I'm free!

Animal Crossing New Horizons

However the daily grind continues here! It's been way more enjoyable, primarily due to lacking the microtransactions/limited time item angle and also for being so much more customisable. And the nature is so pretty... But I've reached a point where even this has started to feel kind of stale.

Super Mario Odyssey

My first Mario game since Super Mario World so of course I'm blown away by everything. I like how colourful and welcoming the worlds were, Cappy was a surprisingly enjoyable sidekick/mascot and also the game was easy enough and had a simple linear plot so it was far easier to approach than Zelda BotW which is still on hold.

Plans for 2021

Actually play Zelda BotW

Maybe finally Evangelion?

Finally finish the mostly disappointing Digimon Adventure tri

Various magical girl sequels and remakes

[heraldtim]

ADHD

So, as has happened every time I try to start a journal, diary, blog, whatever... I write one or two posts, and then I disappear for a long time. Here I am, back from the disappearing. I am trying quite deliberately to not disappear any more.

My bio-kids both have ADHD-- diagnosed and under treatment. (My step-kids probably have it too.) A couple of months ago, my 16-year-old said, "Dad, I think you have ADHD too," and he rattled off the many, many traits and habits I have which point in that direction. I think he was right.

I already had an appointment for neuro-psych testing planned, and we included ADHD stuff. That was 7 hours of tests which I took across two days this past week, and totally brain-frying. I don't have "official" results yet, but it seems clear that I'm checking all of the right boxes for ADHD. There are habits and traits that I've had since childhoood. There are some things that I see now were coping mechanisms for manifestations of ADHD. I was very outgoing up through kindergarten, but then I specifically became much more introverted, because my father would become angry if I was "acting out" or being too loud, or inappropriate in whatever other way he felt was applicable. I never had the "hyperactive" part of ADHD, because I was madly suppressing it for my own survival.

That was the 1980s. As I am rapidly learning, the medical profession's understanding of ADHD is alarmingly thin. Back then, it was just ADD, which is sort of ironic, because the definiting characteristic was: (mostly) boys who were out-of-control hyperactive. Until the mid 1990s (what??) many physicians still stated publicly that ADHD did not exist and was simply an excuse for poor parenting and bad behavior. Until the 90s? WTF???

Since my son "diagnosed" me, things have been incredibly difficult in ways that are almost comically typical ADHD manifestations. All the stuff with which ADHD patients often struggle over the course of their lives, I seem to have piling up on me in the last few weeks (in addition to recovering from surgery, and trying to homeschool one chronically ill child who is current sleepint 12-16 hours a day and only has half a brain the rest of the time).

Trying to rearrange my office-- rearranging furniture has always made me happy, and it turns out ADHD brains really like those kind of changes (as long as they are forewarned). Where did i put the power cord for this, that, and the other thing when I took them all off the desk to move it? Why won't the damned computer recognize this stupid monitor instead of that one? I should never have started this, the project is too big and I'm too week/crazy/disorganized/full-of-back-pain/depresed/etc. I literally had the old "I can't even do this simple thing. See how useless I am? Everyone would be better off if I were dead" thought this afternoon.

I am going to a massage-- it's a luxury that I'm going to have to quit, or at least cut down on, with a quarter of my income gone. I'm counting down the days until I no longer have to pay alimony. Unfortunately, that will be right about the time that my bio-kids turn 18, finish high school, and head out on their own (if they want to... I mean, I'm not going to kick them out, at least not immediately). So... I'll have the money to do all the things I always wanted to do with them, right when they leave me. That's another train of thought that's leading me to the "better off dead" station.

I really have been very non-depressed over the last few months. My therapist actually suggested we "discharge" me from her care, since I was doing so well. What changed? Why is everything suddenly so hard?

I will write more soon. I know this is just a rambling mess. The purpose is just to get all of the (crazy ADHD) thoughts out of my head and written down so my kids, and hopefully their kids and so on, can maybe find something useful or helpful in it. So maybe when I die, I can leave behind a little something.

[realtalk-princeton]

Question for Clover: any advice for sophomore-fall MAE classes? I'm enrolled in 305, 221 and 223 and scared for thermo/diff eqs. Do you recommend any strategies? I'm also taking intro to neuro for the Robotics certificate, and a Politics class on the presidency, should I consider PDFing that depending on how it goes?

Response from Clover:

Those are the same 3 MAEs I took in the fall! I took them along with a STEM certificate class as well, and then a PDFO distrubution. I think sophomore fall MAE can be challenging because you’re really thrust into it all. I’m going to write about each one individually below, and then follow up with other stuff.

Thermo has a “reputation” of sorts because lab makes it “1.5” classes with problem sets, quizzes, and lab reports, lab grading can be harsh, and the subject matter can be generally difficult. The class starts off weirdly easy with sort of just “in = out” stuff... but around midterm season, things escalate fast. Be sure to be ready for this jump, and stay on top of it. Everything builds in the class, so (for example) if you don’t understand the process in a Rankine cycle when you first learn it, fix that right away. Go to office hours, go back through the notes, etc. until you learn that weeks content, because otherwise that confusion will compound and leave you confused the rest of the semester and scrambling to learn from the ground up come finals period (speaking from experience 😔). I think one of the most important things is to make sure all the terms that get thrown around in lecture mean something to you. For me, a big issue was I’d sit down for a given weeks homework all about “X cycle problems”, and could do them just fine— but I didn’t understand what I was doing, just going through the motions of that week. When an exam rolled around and everything was mushed together, I couldn’t parse how to solve the problem because I didn’t know what was what. So really staying on top of new terms is good too. Exams were hard but dw the curve is your friend. As for labs, they were graded pretty harshly our year— this is dependent on the AIs you get. I recommend trying to finish your reports early and go to TA office hours to get feedback on your reports before turning them in— this will help you to not lose silly points and play to the graders preference (some graders care a lot about decimal places, for example).

305 is some tough math and has an equally tough weekly workload. Howard Stone’s lectures were great for me at the beginning because I could follow along step-by-step with him. Towards the end of the semester when things got into PDEs, I shifted my attention more to his gigantic 400 page notes, which are super detailed and helpful. Most important of all though are precepts. A lot of 305 preceptors are awesome and post great weekly notes (one even posted awesome study guides for the exams). I think 305 is mostly about being sure to give yourself enough time to really work through the problem sets— they’re extremely valuable to your understanding, so you don’t want to rush. Exams in 305 didn’t really throw curveballs like MAT 201/202 did imo— very comparable to the problem sets. Finally: don’t get spooked by the 1st HW. It is very long, but dw they don’t all take that long (except towards the very end of the course).

Finally... 223. Amazing. Spectacular. Andrej is amazing. His lectures are engaging even for 1.5 hrs, as he gives breaks and also doesn’t just read off slides. The slides supplement what he’s saying with the big formulas/theorems, and then he does problems off to the side, which is awesome!!! Usually lecture is just content, but he shows you how to set up problems which is helpful if you like seeing steps being worked out. Now this might be because I’m more of a “physical object” MAE person, but I think the content made sense throughout the whole course, and on top of that... was very interesting and cool!! Problem sets can be tricky but office hours are useful for getting the set-up. Exams are very comparable to homeworks, nothing where you’re like “wtf is this”. Only qualm was I didn’t find precepts very helpful and fully stopped going after the first few. It was mostly specific to the AIs teaching it didn’t help me in terms of my personal learning style, so gauge for yourself! I will say that not attending didn’t have an impact on my performance in the course, but if I’d attended and been engaged, I bet it would’ve helped me “get” the homework problems faster.

For every class above, what I recommend more than ANYTHING is to make PSET groups! I cannot stress this enough. Have weekly PSET checking sessions, even if it’s different groups for each class— you’ll really need it. Helps so much for working through problems, checking your answers, etc.. can also be (imo) more productive than office hours because it’s a small group so you all move at about the same pace and you’re not waiting around for help. Also a convenient and wonderful way to make MAE friends who will be with you in coming semesters :’)

I know this was hella long but yeah just wanted to give a gist of my personal advice/suggestions. It can be hard for sure, and take up a lot of time, but staying on top week to week will help prevent “world collapsing” moments. That sort of brings me to the final point, which is definitely be open to PDFing if you need. Fall semester taught me the value of taking it easy where I can. I got over the hump of “ohhh but I always wanna give 101%” and dropped some commitments and prioritized my work in certain ways such that I could get sleep, do clubs, etc.. If you think a PDF will help you focus more on your MAE classes, I would encourage you to consider it, because your MAE classes will be most important at the end of the day.

[dotshiiki]

the AU from left field wtf where did this come from.

I cannot believe I went and wrote this but it wouldn’t leave me alone and I had to get it out of my system so I could go back to writing, you know, stuff that I’m supposed to be writing, anyway Grey’s Anatomy!AU or for those of you who don’t know the show it’s basically surgical-intern!Annabeth and patient!Percy with a side of douchebag-attending!Luke in a completely messed up triangle (and Annabeth thinks she’s so going to hell for all of it). Just your average rip-off of the GA pilot (I can’t believe that show is still going). 

(Rated T for swearing and non-explicit sex. It wouldn’t be Grey’s without the swearing and sex. Read at your own risk. :P)

The first time she meets Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase gets groped.

To be fair, he has no clue what he did. She can't very well fault a patient when his flailing limbs land in an unfortunate spot when he's in the middle of a grand mal seizure. She just happens to be the poor intern leaning over him, trying to hold him steady.

Anyway, it's just one more annoying thing in what has already been an exhausting day. She's into hour twenty-five of her first-ever shift at Olympus General, and she's already dealt with explosive diarhhea, uncontrolled vomitting, and seventeen rectal exams. (She swears Dr Ramírez-Arellano must hate her guts.) Getting groped by an unconscious patient should be routine by now, right?

Besides, it could be worse--he could be some smelly old man rather than the fit twenty-six-year-old car crash victim with a ripped body (hey, she's the one hanging on to it for dear life while Dr Ramírez-Arellano yells for two milligrams of chlorazepam and a wide bore IV, after all). And he is kinda cute, if you ignore the matted blood on his forehead and the fact that his eyes are rolling back in his head.

Great. Now she knows she's really tired, if she's actually checking out bloodied car crash victims.

They finally get him stabilised and up to CT, and Annabeth rests her eyes briefly as she leans against the wall outside the room, wondering for the tenth time since her shift began why it was so important for her to join the game anyway.

The speech the Chief of Surgery gave this morning (yesterday morning? Time doesn't really have much meaning after twenty-five hours on your feet) comes back to her: The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You'll be pushed to the breaking point.

Right now, Annabeth thinks she may be at one of those breaking points Dr Brunner was talking about. She can't think of a single reason she should be a surgeon, but she can think of a thousand reasons why she should quit.

'Hey. Hey!'

She blinks at the lab tech who's waving the scans in front of her to get her attention.

'These yours, right?'

'Uh--right.' Annabeth stifles a yawn, grabs her scans, and heads off to find her resident.

Twenty-three more hours to go.

OoOoO

The next time Percy Jackson gropes her, it's another accident. She's adjusting his IV drip in the ICU when he wakes up, reaching out blindly. His fingers brush her breast and pause in confusion. Annabeth freezes as well--is this guy serious?--and then she realises that although Jackson's eyes are open and staring at her, they also have the blank look of someone who can't see.

'What--' Jackson croaks. His fingers move hesitantly against her chest--and she regains enough presence of mind to move quickly back, out of their way. 'Oh my god, did I just--what's going on?'

'It's okay,' she says soothingly. 'You're in the ICU. You were in a car accident. You're gonna be fine.'

'I was--oh gods, Mom! My mom--is she okay?'

Annabeth vaguely remembers two passengers who came in at the same time. She thinks Will Solace took care of the older woman in the pit ... ah, yes. Minor injury. 'She's fine,' Annabeth reassures him. 'Got away with nothing but a sprained shoulder. Didn't even have to stay the night.'

'And Callie? Where's Callie? Is she okay?'

'Is that your girlfriend?'

There's no reason her heart should rise a little when he shakes his head. It's of utterly no concern to her whether her patient is attached or single, even if those glassy unseeing eyes are melting her heart (it's sympathy, pure sympathy). The irises a striking shade of green, and she can only imagine what they'd do to her if they were clear and lucid.

'My friend Leo's. Poseidon, Neptune, and Porcys, he's gonna kill me.'

Annabeth bites back a smile at the funny cursing. She's never heard anyone swear on the names of ocean deities of an ancient polytheistic culture. At least she thinks they're ancient water gods? It's been decades since Middle School history or Latin or whatever that class was that they learned about them. And she wonders what on earth Percy Jackson does that he'd be up to speed on ancient Greek culture. Maybe he is Greek. He has the looks or it, mmm, Mediterranean skin and thick lashes--okay enough, Chase.

'I'm pretty sure she's fine, too.' She closes her eyes and tries to recall the other woman in the ER. Short, long-haired? Did anyone take her case? No, because she--'Got away without a scratch. She was one lucky girl.'

Jackson relaxes visibly. Annabeth frowns a little. This 'Callie' might be his friend's girlfriend, but he does seem awfully concerned. Maybe he has a thing for her, too.

And no, she doesn't care if a guy she doesn't even know is crushing on his friend's girl. He can like whoever he wants. He's just her patient.

'Can I see them?'

'After your surgery,' she says. 'I just need to check you over now. Can you follow the light, Mr Jackson?' She already knows before she does the pupillary response test that he won't be able to, but it's all procedure and she has to go through it.

'Percy,' he says.

'Sorry?'

'My name's Percy.'

'Percy, then.' She shines the pen-light in his eyes. No response. Hopefully it's only temporary--a pinched optic nerve, maybe, something that can be fixed in surgery.

'And I don't see anything.' He swallows hard. 'Am I--' The way his Adam's apple bobs tremulously, like he's already trying to come to terms with the bad news she hasn't yet delivered tugs at her heart.

Damn it.

She can just hear her mother's voice in her head--'Personal feelings get in the way. You have to be able to detach yourself if you're going to be a good surgeon.' Yeah, her mom's a pro at the art of detaching herself. She's done it for years and years, and not just with patients.

'We may be able to fix it in surgery,' Annabeth tells him. 'It should happen tomorrow. We needed to  make sure you're stable before we get you in the OR.'

'Right,' he says. 'Are you my surgeon?'

'I--uh, no, I'm just an intern.'

'Oh.' Percy laughs nervously. 'You know, the last time I ended up in hospital--'

'A regular, are you?'

His grin is sheepish. 'Not really. It's just that I sprained my ankle a couple of weeks back and the doctor said it was fine and I wouldn't need to come back. I don't think he bargained for car accidents.' Percy frowns. 'I can't remember how that happened.'

'Don't worry about it. Short-term memory loss isn't uncommon with head traumas.'

She finishes her examination--other than his eyes, Percy seems well enough for a guy recovering from a grand mal. It's funny--that shouldn't really affect his sight, but there's clearly something more going on in his brain that the neuro attending will definitely need a closer look at. She could've sworn his scans were clean, though.

'I'll let you get some rest.' She rolls up her stethoscope and hangs in around her neck.

'No, wait--don't go.' His hand reaches out feebly, thankfully nowhere near her chest this time. 'I--sorry, you must have stuff to do.'

She does--there's labs to deliver and other patients to check on, and her shift is just about up, at long last--but Percy Jackson is the main case she's been assigned. Her responsibility.

She takes his hand. His fear is palpable; she can feel it in the cling of his trembling fingers.

'It's okay,' she murmurs. 'You're gonna be fine.'

'Thanks, Dr, er--'

'Chase. Annabeth.'

'Annabeth,' he repeats. 'That's a pretty name. It suits you.'

'You can't even see me.'

'I can tell from your voice.'

Although she knows it's probably the pain meds talking, and he probably won't remember a word of this conversation the next morning, Annabeth gets a little flutter in the pit of her stomach anyway. Percy's unseeing eyes blink at her. They are nice eyes, almond-shaped and slightly slanted, like they're sending her a personal wink. And god, how unfair are those thick lashes on a guy?

'I bet you say that to all the girls.'

'Only the cute ones.'

'Again, you can't see me.'

'Then you'd better fix my eyes because I'd like to.'

Her heart does a little tap dance. 'You're--you're flirting with me. You can't flirt with me.'

His lips quirk. 'Why not?'

It's the pain meds, and the fear of surgery, she tells herself. He's probably one of those guys who flirts when he's terrified. (She can totally understand that.)

'I'm your doctor, for one.' She should probably let go of his hand if she's going to seriously rebuff him.

But if this is helping him stay calm, that's not a bad thing, right?

'Well, that's good. I thought you were gonna say you're already taken.'

She freezes, thinking guiltily of the messy friends-with-benefits situation she's got going on with her not-boyfriend at the moment (she never knows what to call Luke) that just got more complicated this very afternoon.

Percy must feel the ice that's running through her hands then. 'Oh,' he says, and starts to let go. 'Sorry, I didn't mean--'

She should let this go. Let him go. But her fingers hold on to his of their own accord. 'No, it's not--I mean, it's complicated. I'm not--argh, I'm single, is what I mean.'

'Huh. So flirting's a go?'

'Yes--no! I'm still your doctor!'

He laughs. 'Damn, you're a lot smarter than the tour groupies.'

Tour groupies? Oh god, he's probably a rock star or something. She's flirting with a rock star--no, he's flirting with her, and when was the last time someone like him flirted with someone like her? She wonders what it'd be like to date a cute guy who isn't all tied up with her career and her mom and the train wreck of her romantic history.

Good gods, what is she thinking? She can't date a patient.

Percy mistakes her silence for confusion and clarifies, 'I'm a surfer. You know, surfing champs and all that?'

Oh. Well, she got that one wrong. 'Like Kelly Slater?'

'Funny how that's the only surfer anyone ever knows.'

'I know other surfers,' she replies automatically, although she doesn't really. She's barely even been to the beach all her life. It's not like they're far from the water, but when has her mom ever had the time to take her? And once you enter med school--well, that's kind of like kissing your social life goodbye.

'Oh? Name one.'

'Percy Jackson.'

He laughs so hard, she's afraid he might burst an aneurysm in his brain. He has a great laugh--it bubbles up from deep inside him and fills the whole room--and it's so infectious, she can't help but join in.

She really has other stuff to do, but she ends up sitting there with him, holding his hand and bantering about stuff she doesn't even remember later (but still feels like the silver lining in her crappy first day of work) until he falls asleep again.

She tells herself it's just patient care.

It's what any good doctor would do, right?

OoOoO

It's at least five hours after her shift officially ends when she stumbles into an empty on-call room. She's supposed to be going home, and she knows that putting off the moment will only make it worse when she finally faces her mother's interrogation of her first day as an intern, but she's going to avoid it anyway. And if there's one excuse Dr Athena Chase can't argue with, it's being tied up at the hospital.

God knows she's used it enough times herself.

Luke finds her, of course, right when she's ready to crawl under the thin hospital-issue sheets (would it really kill them to spring for something a little more comfortable for weary doctors? She's not asking for much, maybe just something soft instead of crisp and sterile) and lose herself to the world.

'Annabeth,' he says, with that smug arrogance that he carries everywhere with him. Once upon a time she thought it the sexiest thing ever, was incredibly flattered that her mom's up-and-coming young resident took an interest in her.

Right now their relationship--if you can even call it that--is a time bomb that might explode in her face any moment.

'Dr Castellan,' she says stiffly.  

'Dr Chase,' he mimics. 'What happened to Luke?'

'Did you even think to tell me you were coming to work here?'

He chuckles and turns the lock in the door. 'I thought it'd make a nice surprise.'

'A nice surprise?' she hisses. 'I had to find out that my--my--whatever this was--is my attending from my resident!' She can't forget the humiliating moment when she brought Percy Jackson's scans to Dr Ramírez-Arellano, only to be told to deliver them to the new attending--Dr Castellan. She'd frozen completely at the sound of his name, until Piper McLean, her fellow intern, had elbowed her sharply in the ribs.

'Thought you'd be happy to have one attending who won't be riding you. Well, maybe in a different way.' He leers at her suggestively, leaving no question about why he's come looking for her.

'We can't.'

'I don't recall any objections last night.'

'First of all, that was two nights ago, and B, that was before you became my boss.'

He steps into her space and places a hand on the back of her neck to draw her face towards his. 'Lighten up. You're off duty now, aren't you?'

'We really shouldn't.'

'Nobody needs to know.' His hand is hot and heavy on her stomach, finding its way to the waistband of her scrubs and tugging them down.

They really shouldn't--this could blow up in so many ways--but she lets him, because it's Luke, and this is a dance they've been doing for years.

And okay, she needs something to get her mind off Percy Jackson, whose smile and voice and touch is lingering in her brain more than she cares to admit. Sleeping with Luke may be flirting with disaster, but fantasising about a patient--a patient, for Christ's sake, talk about breaches of ethics--is so much worse.

(Except that when Luke touches her, it's the accidental brush of Percy's fingers against her chest that she thinks of, and the echo of his laughter that rings through her head in place of Luke's moans, and how much more fucked up could this get?)

When it's over and Luke is snoring next to her, Annabeth gets up quietly and drags herself into the shower. She turns up the heat and lets the near-scalding spray scrub her raw, but the ghost of Luke clings to her like a second skin.

(Yeah, you can all send me to Tartarus now.)

[omegastation]

So yesterday we started reading the MEA codex. Here’s the link to our Discord if you're interested, don’t hesitate to join! I thought I would make several posts about what we discussed (and by we, I mean @homoryder, @silentstephi, @nerdyholler and me)

I'll start with the characters and some questions or reflections we had.

-Ryder: We were interested in the Alliance's attitude toward the Ryder siblings. Alec's research got him discharged but it also ruined his children's career. @silentstephi said it made it sound like the family was tainted forever, which is a bit wtf. @homoryder was wondering if the Ryders could have eventually overcome it the way Ash did. -Kallo: I wondered if Parohe Aerospace warned Garson against recruiting him "so fervently" for a reason other than wanting to keep him around. -Cora: Codex gives us a nice insight into the asari huntresses. The records are sealed for 5000 years, which is... a lot of time as @homoryder pointed out.  It's also worth noting that Cora's superior biotic talents was seen as a liability by the Alliance (to me it means they still don't really know how to handle powerful biotics and don't have good training for them). I also wonder why Cora’s service number was included in her entry. No other character has information that specific? -Suvi: @homoryder was the one who caught the part about her being "headhunted by a black-ops organization for a classified biomedical project": it's likely Cerberus wanted her for the Project Lazarus and she said no. Just think about it: we could have had Suvi and Miranda working together!!! -Liam: his entry gives us a lot of information about, well, law and order. His parents specialized in "interplanetary policy law": I would think it means human law across all planets (colonies included? no idea) while galactic law is linked to Citadel space. Would love to get your opinion on this.  -Ellen: Codex talks about "neuro-integrated wetware", it would mostly mean the brain linked to artificial systems. Thought process would be compared to computer systems. -SAM: Alec encouraged SAM to write their own entry. 

[seven-winter-trees]

for some.. very long period of time, i’ve had a generally-relevant-only-to-myself oracular experience based on the song, line, word, sentence i wake up with stuck in my head.

yesterday was, “mama, this surely is a dream.”

today’s was, “funny how... time flies.”

when i F I N A L L Y got home and came in the door, the rest of that song (head over heels by tears for fears) just blasted in my head.

the problem with having your own oracular system is that there are no learned people who write long books of interpretations or who will carefully explain the arrangement of entrails to you. you’re just scraping through the strata of your brain trying to link things together to something relevant right now.

rambling about the fucken 8 hour day i put in trying to go to 2 doc/psych appointments and get some tests done:

also apparently i looked different enough that my therapist was going to ask me if i was dating someone if i hadn’t mentioned it on my own. christ. what do i look like? what did i look like? does it just - spill over, and everyone gets it? does it only happen if eule’s in the blend, or do we all look that way? what way do we look.

i didn’t think to ask; i was too busy trying to juggle names and figure out wtf to collectively call his bf in therapy, and eventually went with, uhhhhh, legal name, i guess in case of Bad Events, because he puts people’s full names and stuff in our chart in some section about partners, friends, support network, etc.

we didn’t bother thinking about any of this ahead of time because we thought we were going to spend the whole session unfucking our medical records, bc that’s how it had sounded on the phone.

my therp was Quite alarmed about me having a cyst in my brain even though the neuro handwaved it big time because most brain cysts are asymptomatic and it wouldn’t be causing my shit where it was. you do more harm than good trying to get them out, it seems.

my primary doc is out, and i don’t know why, and didn’t feel like it was my business to ask, so i got the new NP, today.

the NP is very new and is clearly trying (she’s not young - i’d say at least 50s), but she has clearly never been around trans people much before and this doc has a lot of queer patients because he’s gay and we all like flock to any kind of fam, but she flat out told me to correct her if she said anything wrong, which was nice. which i had to, but she took it well. i should’ve also pointed out that asking “how far” someone is in their transition is not a good question, but i am only 800 people one man who’d had no fucking sleep.

she said she thought i could probably heal from a hysto without help if they can take it out with one of the less invasive methods, so i need to call the doc for that on wednesday if they’re open. i’ll just have to stockpile plant milk, shake mix, rice, beans (ex-wife sent me a 10lb bag so i’m probably good there, christ), spices, and fill my freezer with veg and i’ll be good for a while.

i need to call my insurance about a neurologist, since mine’s made the wonderful decision to stop taking my insurance and my doctor’s office doesn’t want to find me a new one. that’s going to be exhausting. 

i need to look up a dentist. our gums aren’t bleeding anymore, so we’re not Too Ashamed of Having Depression to go to one.

our lunch earlier was $10 but that was an awfully good salad, the cantaloupe was at an excellent ripeness level, i liked the tea, and the chips were nice for when i was being painfully bored for two hours, later.

oh, heh. also. my fucking foot and calf fell asleep so i got up from my chair and they went, “nah,” about bearing weight so i just splatted all over the fucking floor in front of the second waiting room in the outpatient psych ward. 

so tomorrow when we’re going, “oh my GOD, why does all of this HURT,” that’s why. you fell all over the floor in front of a bunch of people. gg, team.

[dianaheitart]

I paint to keep my brain from rotting.

I was born in December. I'm a Thursday child. And a child of winter. And a Serpent Bearer: Ophiuchus.

More than an artist, I'm a child of winter. 

My paintings: some are abstract expressionist/ freestyle, some are figurative nudes (WTF, this term makes me want to paint an abstract nude), some are Feng Shui for my Soul, and some are just silly and trying something different, because I get bored with the material world - quickly. Much too quickly, maybe. 

I prefer my mind / I prefer the energy of the tree moving through the one little leaf that my body is.

I would like to feel consistent in my style, but I think I want variety. (Some nice people have told me my style is consistent; I always thank them and add: sorry, Darlings, but you don't have a clue.) 

I have phases of painting daily. I used to not feel like an artist, to not ALLOW myself to call myself an artist, because I wasn’t PAINTING daily. Now I simply CREATE something meaningful every day - whether that is visual art, some writing, some work on a website, some hypnosis download... I don’t need the label, I just need the feeling of alignment and meaningfulness.

I don’t even care about the label anymore. 

Does it matter? Does the Big Picture care what you call it, me, this or that? 

NO, IT DOESN’T. So move on. Get over your damn little anthropocentric mental model of reality. The category doesn’t matter. Never did. Never will. 

Expand. Expand into infinity.

I remember breathing in the fresh, cool winter air of Berlin in my twenties, along with cigarette smoke, and that combination of cold Berlin winter air and cigarette smoke and wine, thinking about Basquiat and color combinations ... Somehow I felt really connected to Basquiat. “Spirit family”. I try not to use too much yellow and I avoid figurative stuff most of the time, because I don’t want to end up painting like him.

DAMN YOU, BASQUIAT. YOU MADE ME PAINT.

Maybe the self-worth issues. Maybe the lost look in his eyes. Maybe everything is just too much at once when you're in your twenties ... to some people. To me and Basquiat. But the cool Berlin air of Berlin's much too short fall and the much too long winter ... somehow everything felt open and hopeful, and I knew I would always want to make art. I dropped out of my art history university studies and made only art - or fucked myself up - or both. Collected memories to DRAW from. It was okay. No, actually it was all magical. It was an intense time. 

Aliens visited me in my dreams and showed themselves in white, with red, pinkish and red-blue eyes. Hence the dominance of these colors in my paintings. 

My veil is light blue. 

My voice is the throat chakra.

And I don’t believe in your chakra system, I just believe in the voice.

When I think of my twenties, of being younger, but not yet myself, seeking, intensely seeking, and therefore more of myself than ever, I think about the cold air of Berlin's winters and wanting to be an artist. Not really even a painter. 

Maybe more like a jazz musician, but with colors. And that mattered more than anything. It still does. So now I finally give room and time to it. Oddly, I never feel like a writer, nor do I feel the need to feel like one - even though I've published 6 books and written more + several content websites. I've been rather productive, let's say – “successful” enough to keep doing most of this. 

But I never feel like a writer, nor do I care to be called a writer. Even calling myself an artist wouldn't be exact. (If it's not exact, it's not true.) I'm just someone. Writing just happens, like breathing. And painting ... painting HAS to happen. Would I still be painting if I never sold a painting? Maybe not. Would I keep painting (for my ego or whatever) if I won the lottery? Yes. 

I am pretty surprised to admit it to myself, but it's true. The feeling of winter is more important to me. More important than money. The hunger for color. For spring.

THE VOICE OF COLOR 

I sometimes fall asleep seeing colors bleed into each other, and while that doesn't make me feel like an artist, it makes me feel like, probably, the right things are going on in my brain right now, so yes, cool. Let's fall asleep. Rest easily. No words, no concepts, no ideas - but a process that is not clearly defined. Life. Dreams. Beyond good and evil. 

Transience is cruel. Chaos that always ends up amounting to something. Strange parallels. Winks from the universe. A cycle of momentary vaguenesses. Nothing is black and/or white, or even gray. Everything has many layers, and only that makes it real. Actually, for myself, I wouldn't need to paint at all. I could just watch my inner color-cinema at night. 

But I've read something about freedom somewhere online, saying that we can only appreciate freedom if we confine it to one thing, one person or one career. Freedom in itself, in a vacuum, is meaningless. YOU NEED A CAGE YOU CAN BREAK FREE FROM.

And to me, a life without challenges is just too damn boring. Painting, collage, photography - I like all of this. Am I an artist? You decide. ... After all, I'm probably a writer at my core and just can't help it. So I write paintings. Yeah, I think that's actually it. 

SOMETIMES, I LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF COLOR ... AND WRITE PAINTINGS.

Do you know what's my favorite part about my works of art? Naming them. Giving them a title. I think real artists don't title their paintings. I'm afraid I paint in order to give flesh to the great titles that are floating around in my neuro-soup. 

I laugh about my own jokes.

Yes, I confess. I paint for the titles. And the feeling of cold air. To cool my brain. Painting is like putting my brain in the fridge. I think every day that I don't paint - it rots. Let's avoid that. Let's be in Love with life, and paint. And let's be in Love with death - a killer, making art so someone can hang it up somewhere. Like a trophy. The artist is a killer. The collector is a necrophiliac. And Art is dead.  But it’s so pretty ... we must consume it. Fighting the voice of color ... you won’t win. You only have a small chance of winning (winning the moment) if you surrender. Life is an ironic joke, and a mental experiment, and a very convincing holographic projection from another galaxy, a simulation of forgetful separation and segregation into little boxes, away from the Big Picture.

Infinity materializing in a fleshy suit. - There is no way to take this seriously.

No. So let’s paint our little pictures. Let’s do it. Individualism, hurray!  But only for a short moment. Then it’s back to the lying 8 again. 

You can buy my art on SaatchiArt.

[talesofnewgradnp-blog]

This is my week

This is my story. I want to compose my thoughts of how it went wrong or how it turned out as I expected. I have disdain for pharmaceuticals and yet I prescribe and prescribe. 

2/09/17:

Very nice man, alcoholic, who has come to see me at least 8 times in the past 2 months. I start him on Naltroxene. He is taking a ton of ibuprofen and gabapentin. I am creating a longer med list with him. I found he has new onset diabetes. I start him on Metformin. We do trigger point injections for his chronic hip pain. Constantly giving more meds, treating these chronic complaints.

And this where I feel I am losing it. I order Cymbalta for his neuropathy. He still drinks. Should I draw the line. Hey, no more meds? This is the problem, is the drinking!! Why continue to take the *&*#$% naltrexone if you are still drinking? Cymbalta feels like a complete BS medication.  It feels like I am going to the dark side of woo-woo medicine with that one. Placebo power. 

2/13/17

Then the next day he is back because his cough  is worse. He reports a fever. I really want him out of my hair. He is diaphoretic, but is it because of alcohol WD? Here I slide again with the guy and feel I am not providing the best care. He does look worse though, but not terrible. Not standing up, but maybe it was the right thing to do (most unlikely). He gets his Zpac and he is out of my hair. 

2/14/17

 I have another woman with a cold, she reports a fever of 103 in the morning, a cough, and sinus pressure. It has only been 4 days. I always wonder, nut up! There is no death from having a cold. But her fever, sinus pain, her lungs aren’t totally clear, a squeak. Second time I have heard this squeak, what the hell is that ? It seems like atelectasis or am I talking out my ass again? Okay I roll out the doxy.......dark side right atcha

2/15/17

This beautiful woman with a lot of stress is back to see me after I fished around last time and came up with BPPV and sent her to PT which she said helped with the dizzy, but not with nausea which she still experiences. My colleagues say she is anxious. Neuro exam totally normal. It is weird though, since she wants to tell me about her throat clearing for the past 20 years, how where she is touched to roughly by her children it makes her nauseous. WTF? I want to consider the physiology of this, why would she make up this up? But I almost don’t think I have a handle on these symptoms. I know she is nuts, but the peripheral vision dizziness seems valid......I really enjoyed chewing on this one with my insomnia last night. 

I should talk about the culture at the workplace. I am 4 months into this brand new job, doing something I have never ever done. I have never prescribed, diagnosed or made treatment plans. There is no doubt I am seriously f***ing up. But what is crazy at this job is the unbelievable uselessness of some fellow workers. One B***** nurse sent out a blanket email stating that CNAs cannot make return phone calls based on my written instructions. Until they have been trained. What the F**** kind of training is needed for that? Its going to take 2 weeks? What a useless piece she is. Thanks for making more work! Yeah, hooray! My poor CNA is dying of boredom awaiting the letter reading training. 

The HR. Who ever knew cared about this department before? You call them when you wonder about your retirement or your health insurance. You may want to bitch about your boss. Somehow, this crazy HR lady has somehow seized the power at this little SH** clinic in the middle of nowhere to wield her power. Its like a really boring episode of game of  thrones.  I am going to get a copy of this unbelievable email she sent my colleague and paste it in here: All about cultural competence. It was so out of this world I suspect that she did 1-2 lines of meth before writing this absolute nonsense. How we need  to be sensitive to the natives. It rubbed my fur backwards!!! I am still pissed about it. I was not allowed to speak at the interview of a new locum doctor because admin had decided earlier how the interview process was going to go. The boss interviews the employees. There can be standard questions, but this is not a huge company, its a small pee sized place in the middle of nowhere run by absolute incompetent idiots. 

We have more meetings than god. Oh, but don’t be thinking all that talk leads to action. Just more talk and more talk......

And that my loves is american healthcare

[amphorawater-blog]

Amphora Water’s Founder Spills.

My name is Codi Betts, I am the one behind Amphora Water and its technology. Our technology is what drives the company and it’s all rooted in replicating nature.

Years and years of my life have been about optimizing my energy, health, happiness, environment and a ton more. I am very grateful for my dad being a health nut since I was young, so it planted a seed that has been giving continuously. I began like many of you diving into health and researching a ton, trying this supplement, that diet, this sleep schedule, that nootropic, and so much more I could write books on it(maybe I will!). What i figured out was all of those were temporary “highs” with “effects” (cough:bullet proof) that are not healthy in the first place for longevity. I cannot stand companies that are growing larger based on lies they now believe themselves and have convinced their customers of as well. Everyone is trying to make a quick buck of the latest trends and I think that is ridiculously inauthentic, but also damaging to all involved. Amphora Water is the anti-b.s. type of company, we’re not going to dupe you over via dishonest marketing, blow smoke up your ass, try to pressure you, or anything we wouldn’t want in our experience ourselves. We want to rock your body, your energy, your mind and your experience in life so you can do everything you want and have no snags.

Nature is the O.G. , not this trend or that scientists theory, or that white paper funded by the company producing a product that is garbage where a scientist sold out in the false name of “science”. Nature is how it all comes together. We’ve been led astray into pharmaceuticals to treat symptoms, not root causes… Diets because of marketing power… It’s quite ridiculous to me people have strayed from nature, it worries me. Listen to nature for an extended period of time and you’ll realize almost 75% of products out are B.S. and nature already has the solution waiting or hidden away because it’s free and doesn’t help company X turn a profit. Nature is my teacher, mentor, and knowledge giver that has so many secrets it blows my mind. What I began to figure out was that water seemed to be the REAL key. I began 10 years ago tinkering with drinking distilled, kangen (kangen is like a gross microwave to a chef… better than tap but gross with no life), sparkling, spring, alkaline, and even crazy new types from Japan. What I found out… water is still a mystery to even science. Everyone thinks they know it all from taking chemistry class in high school or even college… I challenge you to research the anomalies of water and actually test any and all of my words on water. I speak only of experience, not theory… Being an ex-mechanical engineer (I was an experimental test engineer developing engines you may be driving and also see daily on the road, so I do know how to develop, test and whoop ass in that regard as I am a hardcore scientist) I began to use my body as a test subject. I drank distilled water only for 2 years. I did a full blood work up via WellnessFX before and after. After drinking distilled… MY BODY WAS ZAPPED, I could barely think correctly, let alone stay on task. I went back to the drawing board and meditated on it… a few weeks later a flash came (sometimes we have those dumb moments) Water needs minerals just like our body as it’s also alive! This last sentence may alarm you… but give me a sec. You happen to live in a water suit, that if popped and you leak your water… you die. So what is your water suit break down as? Blood: 92% water. Wait, what? Brain: 75% water. Skin: 64%. Heart: 73%. Lungs: 83% BONES:31%.

WAIT A SECOND. HOLD THE PHONE. Did you just blow my mind? I hope.

Water is the single most important thing for your health. You’re a being of water, in water, living in water and the kicker… that water is alive, just like yourself. Do you think the 8% of your blood is the life? or any of the other halves of the percentages above? NO. You can clearly see water is the name of the game. And how we treat water is sad… Add a neuro-toxin sodium fluoride? Chlorine? WTF! Let me break down fluoride first before i continue as everyone is all NO FLUORIDE which I am a 100% proponent for and want removed from our water. Sodium Fluoride vs. Calcium Fluoride. Our drops have calcium fluoride in them (NATURE! she’s our supplier, not a chemical warehouse), not the added toxin Sodium Fluoride that’s added to most cities water supply which has devastating effects on the body. There’s a reason it was used in war… Research it! hint: GROSS.

Back to it! I have an immense passion for this water stuff, so I will keep my rambling a going…

What I came to the conclusion of was we need to change it up, we need people on better water. We need alive water that has the perfect balance of minerals in it, not chemically processed water from a plant down the road run with the knowledge of a theory text book rather than natures playbook. Man has yet to outsmart nature… let that sink in for a bit. Nature’s cycles produce pure water with a parts per billion mineral content to keep it alive and well. This is exactly what Amphora Water is to the core… nature in a bottle, nature replicated, and nature that can help your body like no other product I know of or have tried. They say the mother of invention/innovation is born from necessity… I am unwavering that I NEED to feel awesome all the time with tons of energy. Where did I put my time when everyone was out partying, vacationing, jobs they don’t like, etc…? WATER! After years of my friends on my water with the trace minerals, I had everyone basically yelling at me to sell it as the testimonials I had from them, and even the dramatic effects on their lives were beyond exciting.

So as my first blog post, the rough edges, the blatant honesty, I hope you can realize the immense passion I have behind my brand, it’s my life’s work that will continue after I am gone I hope. I will write more and explain my water technology employed cleaning up environments without ANY chemicals, a filter-less water filter I will have available next year, and why I make these drops that can change your beverage to be the best it can, with working with what you have.

Thank you for reading this long piece/rant, it is the start of a longer story I will be continually writing.

Codi

Please check out: https://www.amphorawater.com/ We just re-launched and are continually adding to the site. I built everything you see from the product to the logo… even those line art drawings! minus Reptar… my homie Tara did that as she’s a master graphic designer.

Shoot us any questions! Or really myself Codi, and I’ll try as best to get back to you promptly! https://www.amphorawater.com/