#Netflix da fuck

[brokenangelwings22]

Seriously Netflix? 5 episodes? That’s unfair. How can I judge something that brief?

[shut-up-danny-kun]

Lal jumping Riker right after learning about dating is equivalent to booting up a game and immediately starting with the final boss

[paint-n-thinner]

kimcartoon just fucking died, fuck, where am i going to watch cartoons now 😭

[coochiequeens]

This is exactly what feminists warned of.

By Marielena Meder February 8, 2025

Convicted criminals in Germany are endorsing Germany’s new gender self-identification law for allowing them to easily hide their pasts by changing their identities. One violent criminal, Mirko Guth, even spoke to local press about his plans to change his legal sex and name by claiming to be transgender.

Guth, who spent several years in prison for violent crimes and aggravated robbery, described using the gender self-identification law to hide his past as a “fuck you to the state,” complaining that he had struggled with difficulties in opening bank accounts and obtaining mobile phone plans due to his lengthy record of serious offenses.

After the Self-Determination Act came into effect in Germany on November 1, 2024, individuals were permitted to change their legal sex and name through a simple declaration at the registry office. The new law also included a disclosure ban, which prohibits passing on the real sex and former name without consent and imposes harsh penalties for those who “misgender” or “deadname” a person who has changed their legal identity.

“This is the paragraph that erases my past,” Guth told Die Welt regarding the disclosure ban. “I am bankrupt and can’t get work contracts anymore. If I become a woman, I can have a mobile phone, an Amazon account, and a Netflix account again.”

“I can’t be mistaken for a woman. I believe I don’t have a single feminine trait,” Guth, who is bald and covered in tattoos told Die Welt. “I’m doing this out of desperation.”

Guth reports that he first got the idea to take advantage of the law from a woman he had worked with at the youth welfare office. After being released from prison, Guth had attempted to offer his services as a “reformed criminal” to a youth-focused organization called “Gefangene helfen Jugendlichen e.V“ (Prisoners Help Youth). This association of former prisoners organized prison visits, conducted school prevention education, and offered anti-violence training intended to steer at-risk kids away from a life of crime.

However, the state cut off financial support for the association in 2024, leaving Guth dejected. He then pursued changing his legal sex and name.

Guth reports that many of his friends with criminal records will similarly seek to change their legal sex and names under the law. But not only do they seek to erase their past, they also plan to deliberately invade women’s washrooms and locker rooms, hoping to be thrown out so they can sue for discrimination and collect compensation.

There have been several cases in Germany involving trans-identified males demanding money after being denied access to women-only spaces. As previously reported by Reduxx, a man in Bavaria named Nicolas “Laura” Holstein was awarded €1,000 after being refused membership to a women’s-only gym.

Doris Lange, the owner of Lady’s First fitness studio, reported that one week after she was ordered to pay a €1,000 fine, she received a demand from Holstein’s lawyers for an additional €2,500 in compensation, along with a threat of a €5,000 penalty if she were to deny him access to the women-only gym in the future.

In another case, a neo-Nazi changed his legal name and sex, and is now suing a child safeguarding advocate for referring to him as a “man” without his consent. Last month, Reduxx spoke exclusively with Josefine Barbaric, the chairwoman of the association of Nein, lass das! e.V. (No, don’t do that!) for the prevention of sexual violence against children and adolescents, from whom “Maria-Svenja” Lieblich is now demanding €15,000 in “discrimination” compensation.

Barbaric is also being ordered to sign a cease-and-desist declaration, which would entitle Liebich to collect a €10,000 fine from her if she ever misgender him in the future and is raising funds for her legal defense. 

In addition to hiding their criminal past and finding an easy payday, some men have admitted to using the self-determination law to avoid conscription and commit bank fraud.

One man who spoke to Die Welt said he hoped to avoid military service by altering his legal sex to “female” in the event a war broke out in Germany. However, the law does include a specific regulation forbidding sudden “sex changes” in the midst of impending or active war.

In other cases, men have planned to open multiple bank accounts in different federal states, obtain loans, withdraw the money, and then change their gender identity and name.

Spokespersons from Commerzbank and the Federal Association of German Banks (BdB) have expressed doubts that this plan would work, as they only grant significant overdrafts and loans if regular net income, for example from salary payments, is present in the account. However, a criminal in Berlin pulled off a similar heist in 2023, prior to the introduction of the Self-Determination Act.

The 32-year-old man claimed to be “transgender” at several registry offices, and thus obtained new personal documents multiple times. With the obtained documents, he opened several bank accounts, withdrew the money, entered into contracts with mobile phone providers, and made online purchases. According to the public prosecutor’s office, further investigations are pending against the accused for the same fraudulent scheme.

The police union had previously warned that easing the regulations around changing legal documents would open the floodgates to criminals seeking to use the law to avoid detection or commit further crimes. Registrars and government officials have also expressed fears of becoming the targets of discrimination complaints if they refuse or question the motives of some change requests.

Since the implementation of the Self-Determination Act at the end of November, almost 15.000 individuals in Germany have altered their legal sex. This figure significantly surpasses the initial estimate of 4,000 changes per year.

[okami-zero]

What do you MEAN that was the end of Dan Da Dan Season 1?!

That fucking CLIFFHANGER?! I AM GOING TO IMPLODE! O.<

I JUST managed to get Volume 1 after I bought volume 2 (my local manga joint sold put of Volume 1 the fay they came in), so I guess I can work on collecting volumes, and just not read ahead of the show (even though I am doing that with Kaiju No. 8...) but... TEN EPISODES for a SEASON?! This is almost Netflix level bullshit (except they release weekly, like episodic shows should). Hell, still waiting on Kaiju No. 8, the first season was only partway into volume 6, I think?

I just hope the wait isn't too long...

JULY?!

[jessiescock]

Fucking unmöglich tbh nix gegen die Lena aber is this some kind of cruel joke dass die erste Folge sans Hansi mehr drauf fokussiert ist dass sie geht als dass der TITULAR CHARACTER HIER DURCHGESTRICHEN WIRD PLÖTZLICH

Jetzr kriegt die auch noch nen Blumenstrauß und der Riedl weint

[sd2006]

also HII BUDDY have we perchance found a new hyperfixation. is that a thing that is happening with all these reblogs

Oh you mean all the Dan Da Dan stuff?

Yeah! I watched the anime on netflix a few days ago and I really fucking like it!!!! I can't wait for more to come out, like I'm gonna be feral when a new episode comes out I can tell!!!

Also, lowkey a straight ship I will happily sail on!? Heck yeah! It's hard for me to find one in the media I watch that is genuinely stimulating to my brain whenever they're on screen. I genuinely hope they're canon (I haven't read the manga, so I'll have to wait for the anime to confirm for me), like I'm straight up saying "JUST KISS ALREADY!" Whenever they think about each other ^^

It's a willingly new experience for me!

[m0onberry222]

hey so not to be super negative or anything but oh my GODDDDDD i hate tv/movie adaptations of books so bad. why does it actually seem like they genuinely have a competition on which can be the most disloyal/disingenuous to the source material? how much character assassination they can get away with? how many tiny little details they can change for absolutely no reason? maybe i’m just being insufferably and disgustingly loyal to my books, but i just honest to god cannot understand why these platforms pick up these stories if they want to write something completely different. THAT’S WHAT FANFIC IS FOR. (to clarify: this is NOT a diss on fanfic in the slightest, i adore fanfiction and it has truly been a formative part of my life and one that i treasure dearly. all i’m saying is that maybe some of these people working on these adaptations would find a more suitable home there, seeing as their ideas are often more akin to an au fic than the actual source material.)

and what pisses me off so bad is that these platforms purchase the rights to these stories, make some half-assed wattpad fic of them, and then cancel them almost immediately because they don’t perform well — shocker. (cough cough NETFLIX). but since they did that, (and please correct me if i’m wrong, because i genuinely want to know), it becomes virtually impossible for any other platform to pick it up! so not only did they half-ass it and completely change them, but they essentially ruined the chances of it ever being done correctly. so often, i see so many things — whether they be major plot points or tiny details — changed when there was genuinely zero reason to. like sincerely, i just want to know WHY?!

!!SPOILER ALERT FOR THE FOLLOWING BOOK/TV SERIES!!: shadow and bone, six of crows, a good girl’s guide to murder, (will most likely continue to add on because i’m a little neurotic).

here are a few examples off the top of my head:

SAB/SOC:

࣪𖤐.ᐟ changed the ravkan king’s name from aleksander to pyotr. what purpose does that serve actually at all?

࣪𖤐.ᐟ inserted soc plotline into shadow and bone — completely reversing, flip flopping, and making up new plot material just to add it in

࣪𖤐.ᐟ GAVE THE DARKLING A NORMAL, PUBLIC NAME?! AND REVEALED HIS FIRST NAME ALMOST IMMEDIATELY?!

࣪𖤐.ᐟ completely fucked over one most of my favorite nikolai scenes — where he confronts the king about his abuse towards genya

࣪𖤐.ᐟ this one i guess i can somewhat understand (albeit begrudgingly), but removing literally almost the entirety of my favorite book in the series, siege and storm

AGGGTM:

࣪𖤐.ᐟ made nat da silva andie’s best friend?! which is quite literally the most inane and stupid thing they could have done with her, literally erased her entire character — why not just make a fucking new one atp?

࣪𖤐.ᐟ where is stanley forbes. i guess they could just add him in in season 2, but it removes so much of the intensity behind the twists of ggbb. takes all the wind out of its sails, iykwim.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ pip calling victor by his first name only, removing that close dynamic which felt super weird

࣪𖤐.ᐟ where the hell did “chicken” come from?! i must have missed something in the show, but actually what reason was there to change her nickname from “pickle” to “chicken”? i’m actually so confused by that.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ WHY. IS THERE A RANDOM RAVE CAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST. WHO BUILT THAT. WHO BUILT A FULLY FUNCTIONING PARTY/RAVE CENTER IN A RANDOM CAVE/CATACOMB IN THE FOREST. why was that added?? i’m SO confused about that genuinely. why was that necessary? the calamity parties in general were just so weird in the show because why was it so secretive and insane? in the book, they literally just walk into this dude’s house where the party and no one gives one singular fuck because it’s literally just a high school party. an intense one for sure, but it’s just a party. remember jamie walking into one in ggbb and no one gaf because it was not this super intense, secretive thing that it was made to be in the show.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ pip and ravi’s meeting :’(

࣪𖤐.ᐟ everyone just like…spoon feeding pip the answers along the way. why did they all fold under like zero pressure? it felt so anticlimactic and like she wasn’t actually figuring anything out for herself. it was honestly so disappointing because it felt like pip wasn’t even given the chance to be the character she was written as.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ ant for some reason just being some random dude lauren is obsessed with? i think that will take a significant amount of the bite and betrayal out of his later actions, which is kind of disappointing, and again — WHY change something like that?! seems more like an inconvenience to have to come up with a whole new plot line for him, as well as introductions.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ the woman that elliot ward kept hidden in his attic for five years KNOWING who she was, WANTING to escape. elliot may be a shit person, but the only reason he kept that girl for all those years is because he believed she was andie and SHE DID TOO. she was severely mentally ill and had taken who knows what kind of drugs. it goes against everything we know about his character to have him hold some random woman hostage in his attic for essentially no reason for half a decade. it makes no sense. so again, WHY CHANGE IT?!

࣪𖤐.ᐟ in general, the over dramatization of literally everything (except for the most important parts) for tv audiences :/ i’m honestly getting super tired so i’m struggling to think of how to explain this better BUT i will return come the morning sun and do my best.

anyways, if you made it this far — thank you for reading my ramblings, i wrote this so that my mother could enjoy watching the AGGGTM adaptation with me without me bugging out every 10 seconds about the inconsistencies LMFAO. hope you enjoyed.

[ataldaprotagonista]

QUAL MÚSICA DA LDR O ELENCO DE LSDLN SERIA?

Nunca fiz algo assim antes então bora.... ta gigantinho. JÁ AVISO QUE O DO ENZO e FER SÃO MEIO ANGST. OUTRA COISA... já comecei a postar a fic do Wagner Moura no app laranja!!!

━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★

ESTEBAN KUKURIZCA - Sweet

Do you want children? Do you wanna marry me? Do you wanna run marathons in Long Beach by the sea? I've got things to do like nothing at all, I wanna do them with you Do you wanna do them with me?

Ele é muito todas do Did you know, né? Sweet, Margaret, Let the light in. O FINAL DESSA TA MUITO ENGRAÇADO KKKKKKKKKK, mas vamos lá:

Vocês ficavam a um tempão, num esqueminha secreto que o elenco da peça que vocês estavam não fazia idéia. Foram meses de processo e meses em que vocês agiam como casal no off... cara, ele dormia na sua casa! Você tinha um kit básico na casa dos pais dele e além disso, tinham roupinhas combinando.

Depois de escutar as músicas da sua diva (Lana Del Rey) ficou PUTA com Kuku.

Por quê ele não te assumia?

Tinha vergonha de você? Achava que era algo passageiro? Porra! Você estava apaixonada e só pensava em se casar, ter filhos, construir a vida de vocês juntos mas depois de tanto tempo já não tinha certeza se era o certo.

Numa noite fria de inverno, regada a vinho, esperava por Esteban (que tinha ido ao mercado) sentada no sofá. Todos os momentos passando pela sua cabeça... se isso não iria pra frente, iria ser cortado de uma vez por todas.

Ele chegou,

-AMOOOOOOOR? BEBITA? - ouviu o barulho das sacolas de plástico sendo despejadas no mármore da pia na cozinha - COMPREI UMAS COISI - ele te viu toda bravinha no sofá - nhas pro jantar. O quê foi?

Você engoliu em seco quando ele se ajoelhou a sua frente.

-Fala logo! Ta me assustando.

-O quê a gente tem?

-Quê?

-O quê a gente tem, Esteban? Você mora comigo, dividimos as contas, temos dois gatos, sua mãe me ama... mas ao mesmo tempo... não sei se quer filhos, se quer se casar, se pensa na gente velinho como eu penso. Eu tenho coisas pra fazer, penso muito no futuro, e não imagino você fora dele. Só não sei se você... se você quer fazer parte de tudo isso também.

Ele ficou em silêncio pensando, mas quando ergueu o olhar viu a confirmação nos olhos dele. Kuku era seu, assim como você pertencia a ele.

- É que... com você nunca teve essa parada de palavras... pra mim o "eu te amo" bastava, ou nem isso... quando você ri das minhas piadas idiotas, quando faz brigadeiro ou me ensina português, quando vai pra casa da minha mãe às oito da noite porque ela não consegue digitar a senha da netflix.. achei que tudo isso mostrava o quanto você me amava e isso já é o suficiente pra mim... Desculpa por não sacar se era o suficiente pra você mas... Sn, eu te amo. Você quer casar na igreja? Eu caso. Você quer filhos? Eu quero desde que você seja a mãe! Você quer acordar seis da manhã pra fazer aquela porra daquela maratona, eu sou seu parceiro. Pra vida toda, minha neña. Pra vida toda.

E foderam lentinho.

O pedido oficial veio dias depois acompanhado de porra dentro.

━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★

MATÍAS RECALT - Norman Fucking Rockwell

Godman, man-child. He fucked me so good that I almost said I love you.

Apesar da música ser tristonha, tem um trechinho específico que é totalmente ele. Não vou elaborar muito mais porque em breve vem um imagine só relacionado à`isso.

━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★

ENZO VOGRINCIC - Sad Girl

Being a mistress on the side It might not appeal to fools like you Creeping around on the side Might not be something you would do But you haven't seen my man... He´s got the fire. And he walks with it... His Bonnie on the side, Bonnie on the side Makes me a sad, sad girl His money on the side, money on the side Makes me a sad, sad girl

É invevitavel pensar nele ouvindo essa. Apesar de "ultraviolence" ser quase o sobrenome dele nos edits....

Vocês namoravam a uns bons meses mas ele ainda não tinha vindo a público revelar o romance secreto. Você tinha ciúmes das fãs dele, mesmo que Enzo deixasse bem claro o amor por você e que nunca, nunquinha daria bola para nenhuma outra mulher.

Foi quando ele te convidou para um tapete vermelho que seu mundo caiu no chão. Caralho, ele iria te assumir... e não um post basiquinho no instagram, ele te levaria para o mundo dele.

Ele te amava? Não tinha dúvidas... mas ali, ao lado dele no tapete de gala em meio aos desconhecidos e famosos, você parecia uma menininha assustada.

Principalmente quando ele sussurrava sacanagens no ouvido em frente às câmeras: te assumia para o mundo enquanto falava o quão forte ia te foder no banheiro do evento.

E depois daquele dia, vieram outros eventos os quais o agente dele fazia questão que você estivesse presente. Sempre a "Bonnie" ao lado de Clyde. Ele caminhava com elegância, com sensualidade e te exibia como um troféu.

Se sentia burra por ter aceitado aquilo.

Meses depois descobriu que ele havia ganhado maior grana com a sua presença nos eventos, afinal, todos queriam saber quem era a garota que ele escolheu.

Você não terminou com ele.

Era só mais uma garota triste.

━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★

AGUSTÍN PARDELLA - Salvatore

Catch me if you can, working on my tan Salvatore. Dying by the hand of a foreign man Happily. Calling out my name, in the summer rain. Cia, amore.

O Pardella é verão, né?

Se conheceram quando? No verão! Onde? Numa praia brasileira paradísiaca em que ambos foram passar as férias.

Você tomava sol e lambia um sorvete azedinho ao lado de suas amigas enquanto observava o grupinho de gringos tagarelantes que jogava altinha ali próximo.

Tinha um em especial, que te chamou a atenção... os cabelos loiros e olhos verdes contrastavam com a pele bronzeada, quase que dourada, do rapaz.

E não era boba, ele te olhava também.

Na cabeça de Pardella, ele rezava para que a bola escapulisse e caísse bem na tua cara para que tivesse uma desculpa para se aproximar de você.

E foi o que aconteceu.

Não que tivesse caído no seu rosto, mas próximo o suficiente para você soltar um berro e ele vir correndo se desculpar.

-Desculpa! Desculpa - disse com um português espanholsado.

Seu sorvete avia caído na areia e agora parecinha um espetinho besuntado na farinha.

-VEN LUEGO, BOLUDO! - os amigos gritaram. Ele olhou para trás e voltou a te encarar.

-Sn - repetiu seu nome baixinho - Assim que a partida terminar yo volto aca, si?

Você só sorriu marrentinha mas assim que Pardella saiu dali, suas amigas começaram a gritar que "HOJE TEM TAN TAN TAN".

...

Minutos depois começou a sentir os pingos de água gelada em sua pele quente... uma chuva de verão estava a caminho. Sem nem se lembrar de Agustín juntou suas coisas, bateu a canga até a chuva engrossar... então saíram correndo.

Isso até você ouvir os gritos:

-SN, SN!

Ele te alcançou quase que sem folego e enquanto a chuva caía, trocaram os instas com a promessa de se encontrar em algum barzinho de noite.

E provavelmente, aquela noite "teve tan tan tan".

━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★

FER CONTIGIANI - Fuck it I love you.

Wish that you would hold me or just say that you were mine It's killing me slowly... If I wasn't so fucked up, I think I'd fuck you all the time

E VAI TER KUKU CORNINHO e depois falecide SIM! E FER TALARICO

Ele era amigo do seu namorado, caralho. A primeira vez Kuku estava viajando e você odiava dormir sozinha depois de que o apartamento de vocês havia sido assaltado meses antes, ele mesmo que deu a idéia:

-Por que você não chama o Fernando? Ele dorme na sala, cuida de você... se quiser eu ligo pra ele mais tarde.

Você aceitou, só não esperava que ficassem tão bêbados pós risoto com filé mignon. Sentaram no sofá rindo enquanto Contigiani contava as histórias e memórias dele e foram se aproximando.

Fernando te beijou primeiro, logo você não traíu.

No dia seguinte, acordou com uma ressaca e odiando aquele rostinho bonito de Contigiani. Tomaram café da manhã em silêncio até seu telefone tocar.... Kuku tinha sofrido um acidente na estrada e estava em coma.

Você chorou e chorou e chorou e Fernando te segurou para que não desabasse, tanto fisicamente quanto emocionalmente.

Ao longo dos meses Fernando havia sido seu porto seguro, um grandiosíssimo amigo.

Você se sentia fodida e depressiva.

Trabalhava dobrado para pagar as contas carérrimas do hospital e mal tinha tempo para... para ser feliz. Seus únicos momentos bons eram quando Fer vinha te visitar. Sempre trazia flores e um bom vinho para acalentar seu coração.

Esse fim de semana você estava mais abatidada que o normal já que o médico disse que o quadro do seu marido era praticamente irreversível.

Depois os jantar seguiram a rotina de sentar no sofá e tentar rir de algumas besteiras, mas nesse dia Contigiani tinha um propósito e era se declarar.

Quando sentaram perto, olhos nos olhos e nas bocas, ele achou que você o queria... e você o queria, mas não podia fazer aquilo. Encostou a mão no peito dele e falou:

-Sinto muito, Nando - ele se afastou envergonhado - Se eu já não estivesse tão fodida... foderia com você. Mas não posso, pelo Kuku.

-Pelo Kuku - ele sussurrou baixinho - Sinto muito, Sn. Não sei o que tava passando pela minha cabeça.

Então ele levantou e foi embora sem se despedir.

━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★

PIPE OTAÑO - Blue Jeans

Blue jeans, white shirt. Walked into the room, you know you made my eyes burn. It was like James Dean, for sure.... I will love you till the end of time

preguiça, mas um dia você volta aqui que estará escritokkkkkkkkkkk

━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━★

UFA! Acho que por hoje foi kkkkkkk

[wallydarlingsnumber1]

posting my cringe old shit i wrote on wattpad. #1

OH GOD. help me. | SMUT | [ P A I R I N G ] ; Ayato Aishi x Reader [ WARNINGS ] ; P in V, Unprotected sex, AND BAD STUPID SMUT. last fucking warning! under the cut you promise to willingly suffer for your actions of this smut.

Prompt : Ayato (male Ayano Aishi) gets horny and starts making out with female!reader :)

I asked my bestie for a prompt so uh here we go 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

BURN!! ^^^(i might delete this chapter idfk) (maybe ill make a masc one >:v) Also this is my first smut so it might be bad 💀💔

Comment here what the adventure was like after the story 💙

(Also you guys are in ur house n shit Its also night Netflix And chill (Even though my bestie didn't say this but i thought to just add this 💀💔))

💔💔💔💔- Ayato's pov Oh my gosh. She fucking right there next to me. Im gonna blow up right now. She's so pretty. Her gorgeous E/C(eye color) colored eyes. The most beautiful H/L(Hair length) hair she has. She dressed up in her little favorite jammies. So cute and only for me.

I wanna fuck her.

I felt hard but ignored it, and grabbed one of the pillows and my legs with it to make sure she wouldn't see.

💙💙💙💙-Y/N's Pov

I felt Ayato's eyes lay on me, i felt tension growing.

I just continue on watching the movie, leaning onto Ayato. My hands move over to his hands and held it. He seemed suprised, but caressed my hands gently.

I kissed him on his cheeks. Smiling at him like a cute little doll.

A few minutes later during the movie

I felt his cold hands snake onto my thigh and rub it gently. I was getting butterflies. He used his free hand to reach for my chin and smiled at me. He kissed me softly. He whined a bit when i pulled away but we both smiled at each other. He pushed me to lay down on the sofa. "Y/N, please~," he said crawling over me. He covered my neck with gentle kisses. I shivered at how cold he was.

He scooted over closer and started to take off my pants and my undergarments.

Revealing my pussy. He took off his own and revealed his member, with some little precum on its tip. It was... Probably a bit big to say the least to fit it in. He inserted his long, cold, finger inside and started to pump it in and out.

"Does that feel good, My little sweetheart?~" said the man with lust-filled eyes. Admiring the scene of you being finger-fucked by him. And i mean, only, Him. "Ye-Yes~" you quietly moaned out. He stopped and inserted two fingers inside you this time and pumped it in and out slowly. You whined out; "P-please~ Ayato, put it in~" His fingers stopped again and smirked at you, his cock was throbbing anyway. He inserted in slowly.

"Tell me when it hurts or you when want to stop, okay?~ I dont want to hurt you THAT much~" he started moving in and out of you. He chuckled. Which, kind of made you a bit worried.

Only a minute passed and you were already moaning mess.

It hurt a little but you didn't care. "H-Haah!~ AYATO!~" You moaned out, "Thats fucking right, moan out my name. Let everyone know how much of a slut you are for me and me only, let everyone know you are mine~"

Now that? That was so fucking hot for you to handle.

He started to suck on your neck and leave hickeys and sped up. "You like it when i do this to you? Hm?" He said, he wasn't even close to being done with you.  You moaned, loving the feeling and sensations he had given you. You were close to your climax and so was he.

You came and he did too, of course he pulled out before doing so. "Oh my~..." He chuckled, You tried to sit up but you were pinned back down. "Now, now! We aren't completely done yet~" He rubbed your pussy, he chuckled and loved the thought for another round, the movie seemed to not be done yet, the time was 1:34 am, did you both care? Nope. You both continued.

For what felt like hours. And hours. You both had 3 rounds. The aftercare he gave you was nice though. He loved you so much. Your leg was very sore still though...

Guess you wont be able to walk tomorrow.

___

Oh my gosh what dafuq. WHY DID I DO THIS DURING MY WHOLE ENTIRE CLASS HELP

END OF THAT CRAPPY SHIT I COPY AND PASTED. I HATE IT. BUT YEAH.

anyways listen to bag of bones in album 'lush' by mitski bbyz baiiii xoxo

[liebelesbe]

Wie Synchronsprecher gecredited werden ist kacke iwie. Vorallem bei Serien aus dem Ausland, also gefühlt den meisten, weil wir ja doch viel Ami-Zeug sehen. Im Fernsehen im Abspann werden meistens nur die original Synchronsprecher angegeben (wenn es nicht animiert ist stehen nur die original Schauspieler da), bei Netflix/etc stehen auch nur die Namen vom Original, auch wenn die auf Deutsch ja quasi überhaupt nicht relevant sind. Man kennt gefühlt keinen Namen von Synchronsprechern, obwohl man die ja alle ständig hört. Schon fucked up.

Manchmal wenn man gaaanz bis zum Schluss den Abspann schaut werden die Namen von allen Synchronsprechern aller Sprachen für jeweils ne Sekunde gezeigt. Aber das halt nur im Streaming, im TV wird der Abspann ja oft ganz weggelassen.

[seriousfic]

Very early on in this movie, hero Christian Grey gives da chick the standard romantic leading man speech about how he's bad news--a loner, Dottie, a rebel--and she should still clear of him. At this point, they've gone out to get coffee one time and he's saved her from a careening bike messenger. I know it must be exciting to tell a lady that she should stay away from your twisted mind for her own feminine good, but dude, save it for at least the second date.

This came to Netflix, so I figured I might as well give a shot. It's a failure, obviously, but it's an interesting failure. There are talented people both on screen and behind the scenes, and it looks like a movie, but all their efforts amount to putting lipstick on a pig. Would it be unfairly inside-baseball to repeat the reports of a troubled production, with the author insisting on an adaptation that was too faithful for its own good?

Try not to do a shot every time heroine Anastasia Steele* extravagantly bites her lower lip in lust.

(how come Dakota Johnson's character name in this is way more silly than the name of the literal superhero she played?)

To be fair to the movie, I've seen a ton of waggish assholes like, well, me, declare that this movie is a camp classic of unintended hilarity and guys, c'mon. There's no way they didn't intend "What are buttplugs?" as a laughline.

In fact, with Dakota Johnson's sitcom star comedic timing and winsome charm, watching this movie is a bit like finding a coke-begotten relic of the 80s where some madman paired Meg Ryan and Rutger Hauer (it doesn't help that, as "Mr. Grey," they cast an actor that plays serial killers about as often as heartthrobs).

I'm making this story sound interesting, but it's not able to succeed on its own terms, as whenever it tries to get serious, the drama runs headlong into a howler of a line that must be verboten from the books. "I'm fifty shades of fucked up!" Christian groans at one point.

"I don't make love. I fuck. Hard," is another line that even Sir Michael Caine couldn't get into working order.

It's a shame, because there's no real reason a modern-day gothic romance can't work. Sure, there's no real plot to the thing besides Ana and Christian's doomed/not-so-doomed romance, but there are worse foundations for a movie than a relationship where the guy wants to hurt his lady love as much as romance her. It's fucked up, but imagine what a Cronenberg or Verhoeven could do with the assignment. Well, full frontal, probably.

(The compromise to keep Jamie Dornan from spending a third of the movie displaying the status of his circumcision is that he does most every sex scene in a worn pair of jeans. I probably should've been too stunned by his abs to wonder at this, but dude's a billionaire. Is he doing yardwork in those jeans? Home repair? Or have they gotten all the holes in them purely from screwing? Man, that guy does fuck. Hard.)

You know, given that bondage is a pretty common fetish, you'd think Christian Grey--an ubersexy twenty-something billionaire--would be able to find a woman who's into, y'know, all that--especially since his wildest antics are a little whipping and possible anal fisting.

I know there'd be no story if he didn't immediately fall in love with Anastasia Steele (snicker) and if she wasn't only putting up with the bondage to get the package deal. Still, that is a pretty contrived starting point, isn't it? At least Team Edward has the excuse of that whole 'my own personal brand of heroin' thing.

[147-moths]

lots of people have been saying the exact same thing but honestly netflix's biggest and most frustrating problem is that they really do treat audiences like the biggest of dumbasses. yea we've seen this time and time again but we have two perfect examples rn in the live action atla and 3 body problem. erasing sokka's misogyny and "internationalising" 3 body by?? making everyone british?? perfectly encompass this descent into dumbed-down everything. i get that there would've been people misinterpreting sokka's arc and i get that there would've been people complaining about the chinese names or whatever but by catering to that specific subset of the audience you lose so much nuance and complexity!! but alas, profits.

also one of the major criticisms against the three body problem was the characters being one-dimensional and dull but like. is this better? is shoehorning romantic relationships fucking everywhere better?? what the fuck is up with ye wenjie and mike evans. WHO asked for this. benedict wong as da shi is perfect but why the fuck is his name CLARENCE

[justanotherdrfan]

WELCOME ALL DANNY FANGIRLS TO YOUR INSTALMENT OF DANIEL RICCIARDO’S DTS BREAKDOWN! 🍯🦡

I’m leaving this one open since you all skipped straight to this episode! (I waited and I don’t know how)😂

S6E9 (Three’s a Crowd)

GIF by @arturleclerc

DANNNNNNNNYYY BOYYY 😍😍😍😍😍😍

He’s already laughing (god I love him)

‘Alright, what’s up?, Daniel Ricardo, this is season six drive to survive, and yes I’m back’ (fangirling HARD)

WAIT HE WAS IN SYDNEY, HE WAS IN FUCKING SYDNEY (why did no one tell me I would have called sick at work)

Daniel and Blake I really wish you went ahead with that podcast because you two are poetic chaos together

Cue another Daniel montage (they have his whole discography on file don’t they?)

He looks so fucking tried though

Logan and Alex talking about DTS frothing at the mouth about Daniel returning is the most factually, correct thing I’ve ever heard 😂

Logan: ‘All I know is the most excited people when Danny Ricciardo came back was Netflix.’

Alex: ‘I literally think they had to change their pants three times. I know the episode already. Let…let me run it through. Ready? Here we have Danny Ricciardo watching on the sidelines. “Yeah, it hurts to not be racing.” Then all of a sudden, pans to Nyck de Vries. Lock up. [imitates brakes screeching]. Off the track. Crash. Oh shit! Boom. Fast-forward. Silverstone. Test. Daniel Ricciardo. Super quick. [laughs] Danny looking at it like…big smile on his face. “It is what it is. You know?” [man]“I never left” “I never left. I’m back,baby. Honey Badger. Don’t give a shit.” (Hire him now DTS because he nailed that)

Fuck why they got to follow that shit with Zandvoort though

Daniel whoring about in his Enchante tattoo thigh high shorts

“Feels right. Feels good” (It sure does Danny is sure does)

EVERYONE LOVES DANIEL

And they get him straight to a photoshoot to whore him out

THEY DID NOT USE HIM WINKING IN THE INTRO (da fuck you lot doing? Give the people what they want)

Yes Christian 2025 prospect (he’s a shoe in ahh? See what I did there) 😉👟🍾

FUCK YOU MICAHEL ITALIANO (why is he getting air time) I’m glad he’s left F1

OHH NO OHH NO OHH NO NO NO NO NO NO

IM CRYING AGAIN. I CRIED WHEN IT HAPPENED AND IM CRYING AGAIN

Ohh they have his X-ray

Clairey bear

Cue Liam Lawson (I do love you but I missed Danny terribly)

The others telling Liam to be prepared (this is very welcome to our toxic work environment)

‘She doesn’t even go here’ (a Danica story)

Liam out qualifies all the red bull drivers (yes kiddo)

DANNY BACKS (SCREWS AND ALL) for engineering purposes only

Umm why are you hurting him? DONT TOUCH HIM! (Look yes I know it’s physiotherapy and he needs it. But I’ve broken my hand before the left one as well and driving a normal road car caused me to cry in pain so when I say don’t touch him I mean it)

I SWEAR TO GOD ZAK YOU STAY THEY HELL AWAY FROM HIM

Checo clips Yuki and he’s out (he probably thought it was Daniel trying to take his seat. It’s his in 2025 mate there’s no fighting it)

Ohh look Alpine with reliability issues (things you continue to see)

Yes DTS let’s show Russel’s crash from another angle 😂

POINTS FOR LIAM 🎉🥳

Are we positive he was in Sydney and not Perth?

Yes king SWEAT SWEAT SWEAT

Yuki GP time

Not Suzuka having Daniel, Yuki and Liam on all the banners

Poor Yuki being overwhelmed by the fans. I understand fans being excited but he’s cornered in the car and clearly doesn’t feel safe (and for Michael to be like it’s ok the fans are happy is actually the problem at hand. His and all the drivers safety has to come first and he point blank didn’t feel safe you arsehole Michael so it’s not okay)

Yuki honey it’s okay Liam not going to hit you

If we can’t have an Aussie a Kiwi will do

Liam finding out Daniel’s and Yuki are getting announced for 2024 🥺

Liam mate I’m sorry you deserve better

Mexi-coooooo

HES BACK BACK

Yes yes your P10 in the constructors (just you wait, just you fucking wait)

Checo out before turn 1 (its AUSGP all over again)

Ohh look another McLaren/Alpha Tauri incident 😤

No McLaren the plan is not to attack Daniel (haven’t you fucking done enough?)

P7 BABBYYYYYY

ENCHANTE, MON AMI

See your P8 now (told you to wait and see)

Yes Christian, Daniel did drive a good race (remember that and who didn’t)

Look at him and his little moustache

Will: ‘ I think this is only part one of a far wider story.’ (Yes 2024 season will be epic for Danny Ric)

[alasijia]

FUCK ADS!

ft. mikage reo

summary : when your stupidly rich lover sees you complaining about ads for the nth time.

wc : 556

note : was watching a kdrama that was unavailable on netflix and disney plus and istg im abt to drop it if i have to keep watching ads every 10 minutes 😕😕 + the drama im describing is inspired by a drama my friend forced me to watch during free period. it was funky as hell but it suited this short scenario lolz

masterlist

"Why do you even care? This was purely business after all." A girl plainly stated through the phone, unknowing of the pained expression of the other end's receiver.

"Fine then, so be it. Leave, and never return." The guy said, anger clearly lacing his tone. It was clear he was unsure with his feelings, a mix of anger, sadness, and disappointment, mainly at himself.

You gasped, sitting up straighter, "No! Don't you dare let her slip that easily!" You half-screeched, toning down your voice as to not bother your boyfriend who was doing his homework. It was to no avail anyway, as he quirked an eyebrow at your silent screaming that to him, sounded like the sound that would come out of a dying horse.

"NOOO– I CAN'T. DON'T YOU DA–" You nearly sobbed, until the screen of your phone went blank for a second, before playing a video of a girl promoting a shampoo. You went speechless, mouth still hung open after being interrupted. "You okay?" Reo asked, fully turning to face you, noticing your sudden silence compared to the wailing you'd been doing before.

"Reo... I'm gonna cry. Why do advertisements exist?" You groaned, plopping down on your boyfriend's bed, throwing your phone away. The audio of the ad changed into one of a song advertising a shopping app. (indo readers, iykyk. pengiriman cpt, gratis ongkir, hanya di lazada 🤕🤕)

Reo sat down next to you, picking up your phone. "How else would companies and apps like these make money, hmm?" He rhetorically asked, tapping away at your phone. You looked up at him, watching him do... whatever it is he needed to do on your phone.

"What're ya doing?" You asked after a short while, playing with the lose string on his sweatpants. "Mm.. Nothing. Don't worry your pretty little head about it." He says, continuing his business, and moving away everytime you tried to catch sight of what he's doing on your phone. "That's my phone, though..." You sighed, missing the glorious sight of handsome and beautiful men and women on your screen.

"Just give me a moment more, 'kay, baby?" And he kept his words, as he passed your phone back to you shortly after. "Ugh, he is so hot." You rolled over on your stomach, watching intently as the main lead's brother sits across the dining table from the main lead, picking on his food. "He's rich like you too, Reo." You pointed out, and now that, caught his attention. He gasped in mock offense. Snatching the phone away, he grimaced. "Nah, he doesn't even have half the looks or charisma I've got!" He scoffs, eyeing the man shown on the screen.

"Hey, give that back!" You reached for your phone, to which he simply put his arm up, effortlessly keeping it oit of reach from you, who had your arm out while laying on the bed. "Not until you say I'm better than him." You playfully rolled your eyes at your boyfriend's antics. "Mikage Reo, my love, you are a thousand times better than this completely fictional character on a screen. Happy?" You looked up at him, boring your eyes into his purple ones. He looked back at you with a satisfied smile, "Very." He happily hands you your phone, before getting up and resuming his homework.

Funnily enough, you didn't find yourself having to worry about ads anymore as you continued to watch your k-drama. (or j-drama, c-drama, anime, movie, heck even cartoons. i don't judge 🤷‍♀️)

[yaldagor]

So ich bin jetzt mit meinem SE- Rewatch-a-thon fertig, hab im Januar mit Staffel 1 Folge 1 angefangen und bin diese Woche bei Folge 1078 aufgeschlagen.

Was nun?

Gibts irgendwelche Empfehlungen was man bis zum nächsten Jahr schauen kann? Möglichst nichts, was ein extra Abo erfordert (ich hab Netflix, Spotify und Amazon Prime und das is mir eigentlich alles schon zuviel)

Von den üblichen (und aktuellen) Verdächtigen schon gesehen habe ich:

Spatort Tatort Berlin Polizeiruf 110 Świecko Druck und Skam Everyone is fucking crazy

Heartstopper schau ich gerade, ist mir aber an sich zu "cute". Young Royals habe ich so in meinem "Vielleicht" Stapel.

Bin für alle Ideen dankbar., suche aber eher nach Sachen die nach 2020 erschienen sind, die älteren Sachen habe ich vermutlich schon gesehen.