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theweeklydiscourse · 7 months ago

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I think one of my biggest grievances with ACOTAR is how the family dynamics is written and how the author offers no explanation at all, just expects the readers to move on. Feyre's father not even acknowledging the existence of the youngest daughter who was keeping them all alive, nesta's general cold indifference to feyre's life and an obvious preference for elain (we honestly don't see any prove of that aside from some words, typical of sjm) should've been explained by now yet we still don't get an answer for any of it and if we do the books as well as the fandom gaslights you into thinking you're just "hating" "move on" or "feyre forgave so it's okay" like idc about forgiveness I just need answers! I think the readers totally deserve to know why the main freaking character was treated in such an abusive way as by her family when their treatment of her is what shapes her and her falling for the first man who took care of her, a direct consequence of their treatment. Your MC's backstory is too important to just brush off like that.

Nesta's strained relationship with Feyre was such a huge part of her character like she was almost defined by that so it absolutely boggles my mind that she and feyre don't have a single meaningful conversation that gives the readers some answers and of nothing else then a resolution (kind of what we got in book 1 before sjm destroyed it). I feel like it's the lack of resolution between the sisters Nesta & Feyre in particular, that has made the fandom so divided.

But their relationship isn't the only such thing, SJM has a habit of mentioning things that absolutely should matter and then forgetting about them just because wasn't feeling like it. For instance: the weird triangle between Cassian/Mor/Azriel, how Cassian was pissed that Mor never went back to him after one time and her telling him to not "be her keeper" in acomaf (or was it acowar?) none of it is ever explained. As soon as Cassian as a new shiny mate all is forgotten and we're all supposed to move on to without getting any proper answers. It's so frustrating to read a book like that yk. No wonder the fandom is ready to implode.

It’s not just a lack of resolutions because there are resolutions to the emotional conflicts between the Archerons, the issue is that Maas consistently rescinds the development that occurs throughout the story to instead write indulgent and gratuitous retreads of emotional beats that already happened.

But the true issue at hand here, is that it just doesn’t make any sense.

Sure, if we take the family dynamic in ACOTAR at face value then yes, it’s horrendous for Feyre who is essentially running herself ragged to support a family of spoiled and ungrateful individuals. Taking it at face value would mean accepting the plausibility of Feyre, a young illiterate amateur huntress, supporting 3 other adults for 5-8 years with her efforts alone. But I don’t believe that scenario to be plausible, and Maas does not do a good job of convincing me that the Archeron family dynamic is believable.

The family dynamic is manufactured for the deliberate purpose of serving ACOTAR's wish-fulfillment narrative. Feyre's suffering is supposed to be indulgent and gratuitous because it makes the eventual reward of luxury and power in Prythian that much sweeter. The problem though, is that Maas expands upon established characters later on in a manner that contradicts her initial characterizations of them. So, she doesn't consider that readers actually remember previously established concepts and characterizations and feel the friction of the story's retroactive continuity. So even when Feyre DOES forgive her sisters, readers feel frustrated because the conflict never stays buried for long (because Maas constantly retreads the same plot threads) It’s not surprising that many people cannot let go of Nesta’s previous mistakes when the narrative is still grasping onto it with a cold iron grip for NO REASON.

Also, Nesta’s obvious preference for Elain is not only nonsensical, but never truly explained. I could believe it if maybe Elain was sickly and Nesta took on the role of her protector, or if they had a degree of separation from Feyre like a significant age gap, were half-siblings or if Feyre was adopted, but there’s nothing like that in the text. I just find the idea that Nesta would treat her youngest sister like chopped liver while prioritizing the elder to be unrealistic and unnecessarily frustrating.

You’re right about this lack of resolution being a factor on the division of the fandom. People debate and argue over what information they’re supposed to take seriously and remember and what can be disregarded due to its inconsistency.

#I’m always a Nesta stan so this needs to be said #much of the frustration readers feel towards Nesta is exacerbated by SJM’s shitty writing and retcons #feyre archeron #elain archeron #nesta archeron #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruin #a court of mist and fury #acotar meta #ACOMAF #sjm critical #anti sjm #pro nesta

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nikethestatue · 8 months ago

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Antis are now using the "it's pretty obvious" clip to support their own claim that the next book will he Azriel's, saying that she's made it plenty obvious with all the attention given to him lately and I'm not even gonna argue because... yeah? I mean I don't believe he'll get a book but the way after two sisters it's suddenly the third bat boy getting povs after povs for no fucking reason other than Janet having a boner for him I'm not even surprised some people are actually believing this. Even if the elain antis are being disingenuous in their argument and pushing Azriel to be the next prominent character, their claims aren't coming out nowhere. Miss Janet has given elain antis plenty of reason to think that and be delusional.

I just know when the next book comes out no matter what the ship is, the fandom will IMPLODE. I can already see people review bombing the book even if it's actually decent and giving it one star out of spite if their ship isn't canon. Can't say I'll feel sorry when that happens. She created this mess and let it fester and rot the fandom. Pushing Azriel while ignoring the third sister since acowar, erasing feyre completely and unnecessarily drawing out the Nesta vs IC rivalry that nobody asked for. Yeah, I'm not defending that woman anymore she brought this on herself. All the og fans have moved onto other, far better things and all SJM has right now is TikTokers, hate readers and shippers who'll piss of the moment they get their ship. Good luck to her!

I know they are, but like, WHAT in ACOSF indicated that he'd be next? She said 'i thought it was obvious' just a month or so after the book was published. If you are a normal reader, what would tell you, of all things, that Azriel is next? Yeah, he hung out with Nesta, but 'next book' material? A little rich.

Also, i know they dont want to acknowledge it, but maybe we needed more info about Azriel upfront, in order to tie him with Elain? We know little about her, but perhaps the stuff about him is needed to dive into her story. Because you know...it's HER Book. Not his. He clearly needs help from a Starborn, even to activate his special knife. It's not going to be Gwyn activating his Made weapon and going to the Human Lands or to Koschei.

Gwyn is a Valkyrie. Azriel isn't. His job is over, Mor is taking over for him. He has his own story to tell and live, along with Elain.

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witchthewriter · 1 year ago

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I hope this isn't a weird question but do you have a list of sjm characters that you headcanon as poc? Because I want to see what you think and if they line up with my own. I had never seen manon fan casted as asian, but im in love with it!!

I love this question! I've been re-reading the three series, getting ready for CC3 to come out. I have so many things to say, but I'll leave all that to another post - also thank you for this question, it's awesome. Please comment how you feel/what you think in the comments xx

𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑

First of all, the Bat Boys are NOT white. If I see another person fancast Matthew Daddario as Ariel, I will implode! I know it's difficult getting the perfect cast for a story we all adore.

Another point, the Bat Boys are Illyrian, and they are actual real people. Their usual features are tan skin, brown eyes and brown/black hair.

Also, Lucien - who I have fancasted in the past with Martin Sensmeier. I thought it was an interesting idea for a Native American to have that role.

And Amren is MOST DEFINITELY Asian. Without a doubt. There is no ifs, buts or maybes about it. She is most definitely Asian, and I will take offense if someone thinks otherwise.

Also, I don't want the Archerons to be so conventionally pretty, or petite. That's why Alycia Debnam-Carey is my Feyre, Dagmara Bryzek as Elain and Jessica Brown-Findlay as Nesta. I want women who aren't models!

The Valkyries;l Emerie is described as brown, as she is an Illyrian woman. And I'm completely fine with Gwen being red-haired, freckled and pale.

I'm curious about Mor, her physical features are fine - but her 'power' has yet to be revealed. Because it doesn't make sense???

𝐓𝐎𝐆

There are a lot more cultures in this series than the others. For me, it was so interesting because I'm desperate to know how different countries/continents, experience magic.

Learning about the Ruk's, with Nesryn and Sartaq, that was amazing.

I thought Manon was Asian, I always thought she was?! I mean from that link, that's how I imagined her. Whenever I see fanart where she isn't Asian, I just don't see them as Manon.

I definitely think the Cadre could be more than "tanned from hours of training in the sun." I think Lorcan could be a black man! And I def think Fenrys is half-black. Maybe with a white mother though. I hope I'm not coming off as insensitive! Please tell me if I am, because that isn't my intent.

Honestly, I don't care about what's 'canon,' I think there are way too many white characters in every part of literature. I know about history and when it comes down to fantasy worlds, I think black people should be allowed to indulge themselves as much as they want, without having to think about their awful history and what their culture has gone through.

𝐂𝐂

I actually thought Danika was black, it was a surprise to see fanart and she isn't??? For some reason, it doesn't sit right with me to have a white Danika.

Again, I feel like there aren't enough people of colour. We have little fire sprites, we have a lion-dog pet, a serpent queen, angels, and barely anyone who isn't beyond tan.

I don't think this series has a black character ... other than a few background characters that are only mentioned here and there ... if anyone wants to weigh in - I'm still learning about cc, I forget A LOT.

But in no way has SJM been as horrible as J.K. Rowling. Not only was she racist, but cliche', and a pick me. There was too much pick-me energy among the female characters. I'd like to think that at Hogwarts, the girls stick together no matter what (for me, female friendships are so important. It's sisterhood).

#anon #sjm #sjm poc #acotar #tog #cc #witchthewriter #headcanons #anon qs

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bookofmirth · 4 years ago

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I haven't read ACOSF yet, and tbh I'm rather rusty with the characters but it was really interesting to read your opinion on Elain! I feel there's a lot of complexity to her. And how she presents herself as well because as you said we literally have no chapters from hers or Lucien's POV and I think that's the important point to note because right now we're all just guessing and assuming her to be like Feyre, but she's not. People deal/show their traumas in different way and l think people expect Elain to deal with it as Feyre did. But, Feyres trauma and Elains are very different!

I don't really know what I'm saying. But I read your answer and it made me go 'oh... Huh!' in a good way, it sparked my curiosity! So thank you! But I think Elain perhaps is the most complex person with their trauma. I know people say 'oh Nesta is so different' but (I specialised in drama therapy so I love psycho analysis) and what Nesta did is self destructive to prevent relationships to avoid hurt or more emotions that she doesn't want to acknowledge (in my opinion!)

Elain just shuts down. She doesn't drink, she doesn't screw, she just remains in her garden which in itself says a lot! That's a very grounding way to handle trauma and not a lot of people are aware of that side!

So yeah I don't know what I'm saying but I think it's a really interesting discussion!

I have so many thoughts about Elain! This took me a few days to get to because i knew I had a crapton of thoughts. So this is basically me using this ask to explain the way I see Elain post-acosf!

There are three important scenes in acosf off the top of my head: when Elain talks with Nesta and they fight, and then with Nesta and Feyre and she gets mad and leaves, and then Feyre and Rhys talk about her in their chapter. We’re getting a lot more information about her, and for me, it wasn’t so much about who she is, but why we don’t know who she is.

So far, what we’ve had is Feyre’s and Nesta’s POV. Even when Feyre and Lucien tried to help her in acowar, they were unable. So we’ve never had anything about Elain from someone who didn’t grow up with her and experience the same trauma (such as becoming destitute, their mother’s death, their father being beaten, the Cauldron, etc.)

The sisters do handle it very, very differently. And I think that at this point the fandom consensus is that Elain runs away from her problems, but I actually disagree, and partly because of what you mentioned - that she isn’t using those self-harming, destructive coping mechanisms. Nesta was avoiding her problems, hardcore. It’s absolutely possible that Elain avoids things, but I don’t think that she just runs from all of her problems because:

Elain grieves her father. Openly. She tries to accept the fact that it wasn’t her fault and that she couldn’t do anything about it. (See: her going to his grave in acofas, her first talk with Nesta in acosf.) Elain does not run from her grief, she doesn’t pretend it doesn’t exist, and she doesn’t hide it from others. As one of the most defining events we’ve seen her go through in the series, that’s a pretty big deal.

Elain does not cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms. There could be ways that she does this that we are unaware of. She does seem like the type who would be really, really good at making people think she’s okay, all while she’s silently imploding. But we don’t know that yet?

Elain does not isolate herself.

However, Elain definitely needs to deal with some stuff! She definitely needs to deal with Lucien, and she needs to have an actual talk with Nesta because I don’t remember a single satisfying resolution between those two in acosf. Not like Nesta had with Feyre.

I have this idea that is purely based on Elain’s line in acosf:

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow, all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” (pg. 233)

And then Feyre tells Nesta that yes, Elain was right.

This is so so so sossosososos important. I cannot emphasize it enough. Elain is used to putting on a fake, smiling face because she doesn’t want the weight of her sisters’ concern. She has been pretending to cope for so long - and tbf, she seems to have been doing better than Nesta - that people not only forget that she has suffered, but she doesn’t feel like she can even express that suffering.

Emotional labor often means negating one’s own feelings in order to acknowledge or tend to someone else’s. And that is Elain’s major role, in the series. Feyre has been caring for everyone’s physical wellbeing (hunting), while Elain’s role has been to care for everyone’s emotional wellbeing. But, like with most emotional labor, it has gone unnoticed.

I’ve made posts about emotional labor in the past (four years ago!!!!) but I’m gonna spare you the link because a lot of it was about a ship that’s no longer a ship, so here is the relevant content:

What I am talking about is the regulation of emotion - any time that you give comfort, are especially attentive to someone’s needs, stop thinking about how you feel in order to focus on how someone else feels, try to cheer someone up, make sure that they are taking care of themselves, try to allay their insecurities, etc. Basically, helping them with any sort of emotional distress.

You know those posts you’ve seen, about women protecting men’s egos constantly? Or about making time for self-care? Or about recognizing toxic relationships? That tell you “if X is being demanded of you in a relationship, get out”? Those are ALL about emotional labor, broadly speaking. They are warning you not to do more than you can handle, more than you need to do, because it can be harmful to you.

If you have ever been expected to make a person or people feel better any time you are around each other (including when they are angry, upset, anxious, ill, frustrated, insecure, etc.), you have performed emotional labor. Pretty much everyone has done this at some point, unless you are a completely insensitive jerk.

Notice, though, that I said expected to and any time you are around them – this is where the problem comes in for YOU. This is not about just being there for a friend.

Making loved ones feel better is fantastic. Seeing people be polite and kind to one another makes my heart shine. That is not a problem in and of itself. That can be seen as emotional labor, but there are no requirements on you in those circumstances. This is something you are doing of your own free will.

The problem, again, is when this is expected, constantly, over time. Now, in my experience, the expectation is not necessarily coming from the other person. One of the problems with this type of labor is that not only do others expect women to perform these tasks, but women expect it of themselves.

It’s super easy to see this – who is expected to take care of a child when they fall? Who is expected to baby-sit? Who did you want when you were sick as a child, mom or dad? Who is expected to be sensitive and pay attention to others’ emotions?

For more info on this idea specifically, read Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich. As a woman, I realized how much work I had been performing and how much it was harming me and I just… got real upset. She comes at this mostly from what a woman’s role is expected to be within the family, and might actually be a bit outdated in that respect because I feel like family structures and dynamics are shifting (that is a totally un-academic evaluation of the situation, don’t quote me on that), but still, it’s really informative.

While I was doing some research for this post I came across a peer-reviewed article about nursing and basically, high amounts of emotional labor led to anxiety and burn-out in those performing it. It literally will cost your mental health – not to mention your time, energy, attention, and it often requires you to ignore your own needs (this last part came from me, not the article). On the other hand, high levels of emotional intelligence (being able to recognize your own and others’ emotional states) meant less emotional labor (and therefore less anxiety & burn-out). One of the most important things to realize is that while you are taking care of someone else’s emotional needs, your own are frequently unmet. That is why it’s important to recognize this in yourself, not just in these characters.

So where does Elain fit in? Elain is the #1 emotional labor provider of the family, and she is about to freaking SNAP. I know, because once I realized how my trauma was hidden in order to spare someone else its consequences, I fucking SNAPPEd. I’ll also spare you the personal details, but Elain hasn’t been “okay”. She hasn’t been “boring”, or “nice”, or “chosen” Feyre over Nesta. She has literally been unable to express herself because (and I am NOT blaming Nesta or Feyre or her father one bit) her family’s emotional state has been so fragile, there hasn’t been room for Elain to feel or express her emotions in years.

In the feysand short, Rhys says:

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.

And that completely tracks. Everyone has gotten used to Elain being not just “nice”, but being the emotionally predictable one. The one they know they can go to for a smile. The one they can count on for never, ever making them realize that she has been through Some Shit Too. And being that person is exhausting.

When Feyre thinks about Elain not using Lucien’s gloves, 1) she still has them, otherwise she couldn’t think about Elain not using them, and 2) I like to see the gloves as something that she will come to use, once she realizes that she can feel and express those emotions without it causing a breakdown in the family. Right now, she just wants to feel. And she can’t do that emotionally, so she’s doing it physically. Once she heals and finds a better balance, she won’t need to resort to physical pain. (Which, lowkey has me thinking some other thoughts, but.... maybe later.) But anyway, once Elain does go through her very own special journey, I fully expect her to welcome those gloves. She won’t need physical pain to feel anymore.

Not to mention my completely unacademic and non-professional opinion that people will judge a nice women harshly for being rude once, but accept a woman with a history of rudeness for just “being that way”. It’s another way that Elain may feel trapped in her “nice girl” persona. I think she started out that way - kindness and light and generosity is 100% in Elain’s character in the first place. It’s not as if she went into the Court of Nightmares and suddenly Cassian thought, “wait, she fits right in to this shithole of depravity”. No, he still thought the literal opposite. It’s just that once people get used to you doing all their emotional labor, they will continue to take advantage of it, even if they don’t realize its cost.

#elain #acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #ask #PHEW I needed to get that off my chest too #midnight-wonder

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ahsokasanity · 4 years ago

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Chapter Eight

A Court of Shadow and Ribbons Missed any Chapters? Go to the pinned post

Notes:

– With credit to song words (only slightly messed with) Melissa Etheridge “Do It Again”

Nessian mating ceremony.

Idisi comes from Nordic mythology around the Valkyries – ours didn’t want to be a replica of the original female warriors, but something new and their own.

Apologies if you’re fitting this in during lunch break (@TrashForAzriel !) It’s a bit longer than normal

Nesta was not nervous on the day. She was already so entwined emotionally with Cassian that it actually seemed a natural progression to confess it in front of a few important friends and family. Some of the training group would be at the service, some could not make the step from the House of Wind to Velaris proper. They had tentatively begun to call themselves Idisi – the name itself made them more a part of the Valkyrie mythology, Nesta grinned to herself as she remembered Gwyn coming to them with the idea “Well, we can’t just keep calling ourselves the training group or Cassian’s defenders.” Although Nesta quite liked the second.

Nesta had stayed at The River House overnight and Cassian, Azriel and Rhys were to fly as many from the library as they could. Mor was going to Windhaven to collect Emerie who would stay the night in Velaris. All of them might end up out on the town. Nesta was wishing for, and dreading that night as the first she would take as Cassian’s mate and the first time she would return to the nightclubs and drinking bars that she had frequented before her recovery. With Cassian by her side, she knew it would be a fun night. The House of Wind had been entitled to them and tonight she would host her friends. The House had promised to care for them all if Nesta was occupied once they got home.

Gwyn had agreed to sing but she was nervous about leaving the library. The last time she did was to support Nesta and they had ended up abducted. She knew the circumstances were entirely different and the River House was so very safe, but it did not stop the butterflies swarming in her gut or the slight vibrato when she did try to speak at breakfast. She’d put on her best prayers robe. It was a pale blue and pleated around the neck to be fastened at the waist with a gold thin rope. He feet were shod in thick leather slippers that would protect her while travelling and walking in the garden.

There were just five of them to attend from the priestesses and being that Azriel and Rhys could winnow, they took Margot, Lorelei, Deirdre and Roslin. Cassian was grinning at Gwyn. “I think that the first Idisi to cut the ribbon with her sword should have no problem getting a ride to MY mating ceremony with her best friend’s mate?”

Gwyn laughed a nervous laugh and pursed her lips. “No, you wouldn’t think so would you” She stepped toward him and stood at his side, offering her arm for him to take. Cassian wrapped one arm around her waist and took her forearm with his other hand. “I’ll hold you and I promise I will not let you fall”

She nodded but closed her eyes. The hand around her hip was firm not punishing and his other hand was gentle on her arm. She told herself over and over. It’s OK, this is Cassian, it’s OK”

“No harm will come to you” Cassian had sensed her thoughts and she tried to look up at him, to give permission for this flight. He grinned down at her

“Don’t have too much fun will you” and launched off the training area into the bright summer sky. Gwyn screeched, not in a scared way she surprised herself, but with exhilaration. Cassian merely flapped harder to get into the slip stream heading up the face of the cliff from the city. As they got into that rising warm air he extended his wings to their widest (Gwyn remembered something that Nesta had told her that night in the library of the House of Wind, about Illyrians wing spans), but she shut down that thought as they began spiralling down, down, so smooth, so free.

The feeling was immense. She had shut herself out of this world for years now and could suddenly see what she might be missing. Yes, High Fae, Illyrians and half breeds like her, could all be cruel to each other. There was also this, flying (she was flying for the Mother’s sake) and heading to a celebration of love of togetherness and she loved her friends. She felt wonderful and alive and impatient to enjoy more.

The garden and lawn of the River House (it should be called the River Palace she thought), looked picture perfect today. Elain had worked hard on getting the flowers to bloom, in the right colour order to suit where Nesta would stand. Rhys had spared no expense in the set up of a pavilion and chairs, with a spread of food for all, once Cassian and Nesta had officially Mated.

Cassian could sense her excitement and a change in her scent from flat out petrified to wonder and a happy nervousness. One more thing that he could do to make her comfortable was to set her down where Mor and Emerie were talking at the outskirts of the party.

“Thank you Cassian” Gwyn stood on her tip toes to peck him on the cheek. “I did not know that it would be like that, so free. I can’t really explain it”

Cassian merely shrugged and replied “You don’t have to. I am glad that you are here, and that Nesta doesn’t have to attempt murder because I scared her friend!” He winked and headed off to Rhys and Azriel who were clucking over baby Nyx.

“Gwynie, oh wow, you are so lucky. How was the flight? It looked so glorious today and you took the slow way down. Oh, I am so jealous” Emerie was at her side and Mor a step behind.

“It’s nice to see you Gwyn” Mor intoned. There was more to that statement than your average greeting. It’s nice to see Gwyn in Velaris, it’s nice to see Gwyn outside the protection of the library. The first time that Mor had met Gwyn, she had just been repeatedly raped and her world was imploding. Mor here, in the sun on this grassy expanse of the river flat was a beautiful sight. Her words were a balm and Gwyn just nodded.

“It is so nice to see you again” she replied, again meaning a lot more than pure greeting.

Emerie took Gwyn’s arm but steered her close to Mor as they seemed to be in the middle of something “Just stay here until you have to sing will you Gwyn?” her friend insisted “I’ll get you a drink and we can applaud from here!”

Mor laughed at that and the two of them returned to talk of fabrics and colours and what Emerie sold in her shop and what Mor wanted to show her from Vallahan that was “like a second skin that shows every curve and highlights every asset” Whatever that meant. Emerie was immersed in the conversation and brought Gwyn in on it every now and then to suggest a colour for her or to ask her opinion. Gwyn was happily edging the topics as she was having more fun watching the others, Cassian being teased by his “brothers”, Feyre taking Nyx away from them before Rhys threw the boy high enough he’d have to learn to fly to get back, and Elain talking with some others whom Gwyn did not recognise. An auburn haired Fae with a mechanical eye. One of the sons of the Autumn Court by the looks. She remembered that Nesta did not like him much but that Feyre and he were on good terms. Elain seemed very quiet. Gwyn understood her shyness.

Emerie whispered to Gwyn “The red headed male is Lucien, Elain’s mate” she just nodded her head and looked their way. There was no explanation necessary, the relationship apparent. That mating was not the happy affair that Nesta and Cassian were celebrating. Elain looked a little more alive when Azriel joined their group, but Az stayed by Lucien’s side and spoke politely to all before moving to seat people around the central point of the yard, an altar and a table.

Gwyn was not at all present, she realised. The small tension of singing while Cassian and Nesta would be preparing and eating food together had been overtaken by the large stressor of being surrounded by people that she did not know. She found a place backing on to a heavily thorned rose bush bursting with red flowers. She felt better having her back protected. Little tremors shot up her spine and across her skin every few minutes and she held one hand in the other so that she could hold herself still. Deep breathing was the only thought that she had, her singing voice would not appreciate having no wind. Emerie touched her arm every now and then, but she was engrossed in the service and in leaning in to Mor’s side to whisper comments.

Gwyn found Emerie leading her toward the centre of the gathering and realised that she had better be ready to perform. A few strong breaths down into her stomach and she found her place, Nesta smiled through some tears as she moved aside to the table with food, Cassian so pleased, the look on his face many of them had never seen before.

Gwyn tried to look over the small crowd, but her gaze snagged on the darkness in one corner. Azriel. He gave her an encouraging nod and she was able to start

The song had originally been a nightclub hit, Nesta had played it for her on the Synphonia. Gwyn had tweaked it a little bit to be more soulful. More like a prayer.

Walked your fire I got a little bit burnt

Hold on tight cause I, I never did learn

You were the one they tried to warn me about

I jumped into your ocean knowing I could never get out

Oh darling it hurts, hurts to be in love

Oh darling it hurts but I do it just because

I walk straight through your mountain

Crawl right under your sea

And if you do not know it by now

You're the only one who does this to me

But I’d do it again

Yes I'd do it again

Even when I'm tired and my feelings are hurt

Never lost desire only made things worse

I hope I'm holding out for something good

Cause we're that combination yeah we're the kind that could

Oh darling it hurts, hurts to be in love

Oh darling it hurts but I do it just because

I walk straight through your mountain

Crawl right under your sea

And if you don't know, know it by now

You're the only one who does this to me

But I'd do it again

She looked up to see Cassian kissing Nesta passionately and smiled to herself. Only to become more self aware as people started to approach her with congratulations and it was hell.

Emerie was making her way to help, with Mor at her side, but Azriel and his shadows dispersed the few gushing admirers with excuses and subtle manoeuvring to suddenly be next to her. He lightly took her arm and guided her into the house and to the summer parlour by the kitchen. He sat her down on the nearest armchair and stepped back toward the door. “Wait Azriel, please” She was surprised to hear her own voice in such a clear request.

Azriel simply turned and stopped. He did not want to be closer to this woman than he already was. She was so beautiful and her singing always seemed to open a door to his emotions. He could not hear her without remembering old forgotten feelings of being held by his mother, of being full, not the furtive being that he had become. It was undoing his resolve, his very footing on the earth.

Gwyn composed herself and looked straight at Az. “Thank you for helping me out of that situation. I didn’t want to be with so many people, but I don’t want to be alone either.”

It took three steps for Azriel to be seated next to her and looking around the room, not at her. He looked at her all of the time. He couldn’t do it now. His chest was thundering. Do not ruin this Az, he thought savagely. This woman has been through hell. Do not overstep

“I have to tell you something Gwyn” he knew once he started he would have to finish this. “I have noticed you wearing a chain at training…”

“Oh well, it’s OK if I shouldn’t wear it, it’s nothing much”

Az swallowed his next words and re-thought where he was going with this. “Really, it’s nothing much?”

Gwyn blushed a little. “Well, I do really like it but it was an anonymous gift and I probably will never know who gave it to me, it shouldn’t be important to me”

Azriel decided then to struggle on. This could not stand. “It was me”

The room was silent. Gwyn’s face went through about fifteen expressions while he watched and waited. She looked sad then like she would yell at him, then pensive, finally she looked at him and spoke. “Why?”

“You are not going to like this, but I am going to tell you the absolute truth. That is all I can promise you” Azriel got out of the chair and started to walk this way and that about the room.

“I bought the jewel and the chain for Elain before Winter Solstice, I know that sounds bad, but please listen” Gwyn was discomforted but not scared. Azriel having feelings for her would be more scary.

“Rhys made me understand that any relationship outside of her being a sister to me was off the table. So Elain and I talked and she is my sister now. She will be making changes and I will support her decisions, but we will not be together”

Gwyn was struck dumb as to how she would feature in this story. How she became a part of this story.

Azriel could tell he was losing her. “After that night when you were training in the dark” She did smile at that “I wanted to give you something that was just appreciative of you”

“Do you think that Elain will see this and be upset?” Gwyn took the rose out of her top and it caught the sun. Azriel held himself together at the sight of Gwyn seated before him, rose between the thumb and forefinger and an absolute innocent look on her face.

“I, well, I hadn’t thought of that” he shifted to the far wall of the room and looked out over the gathering and smiled at his brother being fed bread by Nesta and laughing with less worry than he had even seen. He didn’t notice Gwyn had got up from her chair and approached him. When he turned back to her she was under his nose and he stepped back hurriedly

She had never felt threatened by Azriel, never nervous in his presence, but his closeness, his casual demeanour. He was not her trainer today. She held out the chain with the rose dangling and handed it to him.

“I think that it was a lovely gesture Azriel”, she liked the sound of his name and wanted to say it more, to moan it. “But, I think that you should take it back. Keep it until you can tell Elain that you found someone that you really want to see wearing it forever.” Azriel held out his hand and accepted the chain, quickly pocketing it with shame written across his downturned face at her words.

“Thank you, for thinking of Elain Gwyn. Five hundred years is not enough time apparently to turn me into a thoughtful male”

Gwyn could not bear the tone of his voice or the hunch of his shoulders. This was not Azriel on the back foot, this was him retreating. She knew the feeling. The self-loathing, the depression. It was not something that she wanted for him.

“Don’t say that. Don’t think that you are not every bit as noble as the best males in Velaris. You are thoughtful and you are kind. Think of all of our friends, our Idisi who are starting to feel, whole again.” She touched his cheek with a shaking hand “Think of me Azriel. I would be dead, and without the training I would be close enough to dead that there is little difference”

His eyes found hers but she stepped back away from him, hand still in the air between them.

“Azriel, would you walk with me in the garden?” She raised her elbow for him to take it, prayed that he would take it. He hesitated only a moment before sliding his arm through hers and they left the parlour then the house.

The party was getting properly started now, Cassian and Nesta had left, but that was no big deal, they would resurface later in the evening and it was the guest’s responsibility to eat, drink and enjoy themselves. It was being accomplished. Mor and Emerie were talking, heads close together by the edge of the crowd. Gwyn saw Elain speaking with Lucien in the company of Feyre and Nyx. That baby certainly garnered attention. Some of the priestess’ saw Gwyn with Azriel and waved them over.

They spoke for a little while, but the overall impression was that they were generally ready to leave. Lorelei and Deirdre had enjoyed perhaps a smidge too much strawberry wine and were giggly enough for the others to worry about their choices over the next few hours. The others had felt pleased and proud to be at the ceremony, but the ongoing music, drinking and laughing was not what they wanted for their first trip out from the library in an age. Azriel went to speak to Rhys, leaving Gwyn with the others with a smile and a nod that he would arrange transport for them.

Emerie found them and spoke to Gwyn “I think I’m going to stay here”, she nodded to Mor. “She has invited me to go out to Velaris to a night Club! I think I’m going to like it. Mor said she’d take me to the House of Wind to the guest suite whenever I wanted to leave.” Emerie’s cheek flushed as she said “I can’t believe she’s here talking to me,…. I really like her” the last quietly and aimed only for Gwyn

“That’s great Em, you seem comfortable today, you look; yourself” Gwyn had noticed the calm stance and the open face while Emerie talked with Mor. She was really at home here.

“I feel amazing Gwynie, not like anything I’ve ever felt before. Free and happy and maybe,…excited” She hugged Gwyn. “Do you want me to ask Mor to winnow you home?, you look tired. Oh, where’s your chain?”

Gwyn looked slightly unsettled “Can I tell you about that later? , it’s alright though” She smiled to show Emerie that she was really fine with the loss and added “Would it be silly of me to ask, could I suggest that Mor help with Deirdre and Lorelei and the others? I’d like to speak to Azriel”

Emerie noted the confidence in Gwyn’s request and the lift of her head. She was sure about this.

“OK, sure. I’ll see what I can do” Emerie squeezed Gwyn’s hand then turned to Mor who was speaking with Lucien now.

Gwyn focused on the rose bushes and wandered around the edge of the revellers. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk to Azriel about, but she couldn’t leave him tonight without another word. She wanted to make sure that he was good. That he knew she was a friend. She was happy with her decision to give up the necklace. Even though the thought that it had been from Azriel was thrilling and scary all at once. She had now made a plan that he would find in the future, a need to gift it back to her with emotions attached. She didn’t know why that thought had occurred to her. It was something she could not have imagined before today.

Azriel approached her as if summoned. He was looking down and around, anywhere but her face, so she lifted her hand for him to take and stared him down. “I wanted to ask you, if you wouldn’t mind, could you please fly me home?

Azriel’s shock at the request was covered quickly. What he did know was that Gwyn was asking for physical contact with him. Winnowing only required the slightest touch. A hand or an arm. Flying on the other hand would be body contact on a larger scale. This was her choice. He nodded his head, lost for useful words. He didn’t want to sound like a clumsy novice male. He merely stretched an arm out for her to step into his side.

Gwyn turned to Emerie and Mor who were organising the other Idisi and gave them a smile. Emerie grinned in return and Azriel wrapped her in an embrace that was solid and calming yet her blood pounded and her eyes blinked. She couldn’t remember feeling so safe.

His wings spread and flapped and Azriel bent his knees and sprung into the breeze of the evening. Gwyn found herself tightening her grip around his neck and bringing her face closer to his

“You’re safe” is all he said

Gwyn simply replied “I know”

The trip down with Cassian had been exhilarating and freeing, the flying back required going across Velaris, coming to life with street lights and coloured flashes from the restaurants and dance rooms opening for the night. Gwyn got the feeling that she was missing a lot so she turned her head and took in the marvel of the city, the lights and the sun setting across the ocean. “Oh my goodness, Azriel, it is so beautiful” Azriel smiled and nodded, but he too looked properly at that view re-appreciating what he always knew was there. Trying to see it as Gwyn saw it for the first time brought a wonder to his heart that he had forgotten.

Gwyn looked at his face, and he caught her eyes. It was a charged moment. Azriel composed himself first and looked out to the sea and the river. With his free hand he began to point out landmarks and favourite haunts. From the Rainbow where Feyre went to paint and to teach, to the townhouse in the residential area and of course the sparkling flashing lights of Rita’s – their most frequented nightclub. “I guess I’ll be finding Mor and Emerie and probably the others there later” he smiled to think of what he knew of Mor now and the simmering looks that she and Emerie had been sharing during the ceremony. Only happiness filled him at the thought.

Gwyn was getting comfortable and moved a little in his arms. She squealed as she felt herself slip, but Azriel simply held her tighter and put his other arm under her legs, carrying her through the air like a princess. She surrendered, just for now she told herself, to the warmth and the stillness here in his chest.

Azriel relaxed into the embrace and flew steadily ignoring the thundering of his heart and the closeness of her lithe warrior’s body. The distance was covered all too soon and he stepped onto the roof of the house, jogging a few steps toward the double doors before coming to a halt. He placed her on the ground feet first, before facing her with his arm still around her middle. Gwyn stepped away first and walked backwards toward the entrance. She smiled at him

“Thank you Azriel” She looked down as if remembering where that jewel had rested until this afternoon. “I did really love that chain” She winked, as she had to him once before. This was not a student teacher interaction, this was a suggestion, a question to his searching. He took a step toward her and she held up a hand

“See you at training” and she turned, with every fibre of her being she kept walking toward the library. Willing him to watch her, to make a plan for the future to stop her from walking away. But not today. She was tired, she was wrung out and she did not trust herself to spend any more time with this male. He had opened too many doors within her to be careful of her wellbeing. She needed more time.

Azriel was old. He had bedded women across continents and had held a candle for Mor since he could remember wanting. Gwyn had him questioning any reaction that came to mind. Instead of those he just whispered “You will” He meant more than training tomorrow. He fully intended to show her what a thoughtful, evolved Illyrian male could evoke in a woman. She would not have a straw of fear left for him by the time she came to him ready to accept the necklace as truly hers.

#acotar #Gwynriel #Nessian #acosf #mating ceremony #Elriel #flying #Angsty #No Smut yet

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darklove9314-blog · 4 years ago

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Was Amren a Mother Figure to Nesta?

I've been thinking a lot about a comment someone made on one of my previous post about Amren being a mother figure to Nesta and I have to admit that's absolutely true and something I never thought of.

Amren is 5000 to the IC's 500 and 5000 to Nesta's 23. Nesta is in a brand new world that terrifies her with no one she can confide in. She doesn't want to confide in Elain because she has her own problems. She doesn't want to confide in Feyre because of their rocky relationship and again Feyre has her own problems to worry about. but the first person she really seems to connect with when it comes to the IC is Amren.

That first dinner scene where Nesta finally joins the IC is one of my favorite scenes in ACOWAR, cause while Amren does call Nesta a piece of work, this doesn't seem to bother Nesta. The two even ask each other questions and Amren even encourages Nesta that when she finally implodes to make sure it's felt throughout the worlds. (Again Amren understlanding Nesta Made me love their relationship much more especially when Amren calls herself and Nesta similar. which they are.)

Another hint of this relationship is Amren being the first one, Nesta lets train her. I feel like Nesta felt a connection with Amren that she hasn't had with anyone else. she feels like there's someone who can hold her accountable for her actions but can see that the past is the past and she can with guidance and understanding change for the better.

There's also a lot of other hints that you can see. such as Nesta actually letting Amren assist her in getting dressed (how many people has Nesta let do that?). she also spends most of her time with Amren training her power and Amren seems like a great teacher and mentor to Nesta. I'm pretty sure she's proud of her too. She also helps Nesta grow as a person. And what I find that's most prominent in this relationshi is that Nesta feels like she can talk to Amren without fear of judgement.

Now we know in ACOFAS that the main person Nesta confides in is Amren. And that's probabaly because Nesta feels like Amren is the closest thing to a mother that she's ever had. And Amren sees Nesta as a girl who is still young who suffered greatly because the loss of her mom. And never had anyone who she could talk to about that. Elain and Feyre have little to no memories of their mom. It's different when you think of it and neither of them had a close relationship to their mom like Nesta did. (You can tell this by how hard she took her mothers death and how she dresses like her mom and acts like her mom. hell I even have a theory she does her hair like her mom once did. that's why she always does it the way she does)

I also feel like Amren was the first person to approach Nesta after her fathers death and I mean after ACOWAR ended. Nesta probabaly also confides in Amren about her relationship with Cassian. because she knows it won't get back to him while she's trying to heal. (and no I will not blame her for putting her own personal mental health above a relationship).

You see during ACOFAS, when Amren Is talking to Cassian, it reminds me of how a mother would talk to one of her daughters ex's. and yeah I'm aware its also their dynamic as well but there might be more to it than that. She's telling him like it is. because everyone is too afraid to talk to him about it. Amren however is not. and that's probably because she knows how Nesta is feeling and what made her turn him away in the first place. even Mor and Az aren't getting involved in the situation. so something is definitely up there.

Also during solstice, Amren tells Elain not to take Nesta to the liquor but to take her to the food instead. yes it was in her own Amren way, but deep down Amren is concerned for Nesta. she knows what she's doing is apart of unhealthy coping mechanisms due to her trauma. She knows what Nesta actually needs and is reminding everyone else of this as well.

She also won't betray Nesta's confidence and tells Feyre to give Nesta time. she knows pushing her to get better won't actually make her better.

#nesta #nesta archeron #amren #acotar #acosf #nessian

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rhysand-vs-fenrys · 4 years ago

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plss, could u elaborate you answer about love language?

Sure!

Words of Affirmation:: Nesta and Rhysand

Nesta and Rhys are more alike than they will ever admit, which I firmly believe is the source of some of their tension. Rhys hides his mental struggles with self-worth and such under a warm blanket of the love he feels for others, but Nesta keeps hers in ice and blades.

Both think so little of themselves that the way to reach them is through genuine kindness. Reassuring words, encouragement, and appreciation for everything they are trying (even (especially) if it doesn’t work out).

For Nesta I also considered ‘Acts of Service’, that someone would go out of their way for her means a lot to Nesta. And for Rhys I considered ‘Quality Time’, but I just felt like they fit the ‘Words of Affirmation’ bubble best.

Physical Touch:: Cassian

Like I said, Maas made this one pretty canon so I didn’t even have to think about it :)

The entire IC understands that Cassian needs to show his love through physical touch. Squeezing a shoulder, hitting with his wing (even if Illyrians say it’s bad), kissing Feyre on the cheek, etc. The other members of the IC accept this from Cassian and even go out of their way to return the touches, knowing how important it is and how much it means to him.

Cassian admits within the first few chapters of ACOSF that because of his childhood- the brutality and cruelty of it all- he never received kind physical touches. So to him just a gentle touch is something unique and precious and rare. Things others take for granted but he sees the miracle in.

Quality Time:: Feyre, Amren, Azriel

I’m going to do this one individually because each one is more specific to their story :)

Feyre:: Tamlin did the ‘Words of Affirmation’ thing to varying degrees, physical touches never really stood out for her, receiving gifts (another of the categories I didn’t think anyone fit in so didn’t include) again didn’t stop things from imploding with Tamlin, and so for Feyre I was between ‘Quality Time’ and ‘Acts of Service’. In ACOMAF the journey Feyre had to make back to herself from the traumas that had been inflicted on her seemed to focus most on things in the ‘Quality Time’ bubble- special moments and small gestures. Actions more than anything, but even within those actions the need for quality time is, in my opinion, the most important to her.

Amren:: Honestly she was the hardest. I looked at the charts and tried to think of what makes Amrian work. Gifts are appreciated by Amren deeply, but I don’t think they actually touch her. Like, Amren is well aware a precious gift doesn’t mean expense but the meaning behind it (as much as she loves expense). An archangel of death doesn’t need encouraging words, physical touch, gifts, or acts of service most in a relationship. To them something as simple as time spent with someone is more important and meaning ful.

Azriel:: Another hard one because we’ve seen him in lust but his 500+ year crush on Mor is the closest to love you get. I almost went with “Physical Touch” for Azriel, and I think either of those works. Azriel’s POV chapter shows he has an extreme hatred for himself. He sees his hands as corrupting forces that shouldn’t be allowed to touch good things or they’re sullied forever. So to willingly breach the gap and hold his hand would have profound impact on him. But I think to just a slightly bigger degree ‘Quality Time’ wins. To be willing to spend time with him and have these moments where he isn’t feared or calculating. I think that’s what speaks to Azriel the most.

Acts of Service:: Mor

Mor likes to put on the “shallow girl” mask, but in truth she’s incredibly deep and complex. “Words of Affirmation” don’t work as much on her because she knows her value and her worth quite well (mostly), she doesn’t place particular significance in physical touch or receiving gifts, and while she does love quality time I think little out-of-the-way gestures to show her she’s loved like “Acts of Service” will have the biggest impact.

For this one the main way I approached it is which of the five categories did Feyre meet to get to a place where Mor could come out to her- the only friend she’s ever come out to. Romantic and platonic relationships are different, yes, but with how Mor approaches the world I think in this case there are qualifiers you have to meet that are consistent in both.

So yeah, Mor’s was mainly process of elimination and what categories Feyre might have met to get so close to Mor so quickly where others failed.

And again, the only reason Elain isn’t included is that I honestly can’t get enough of a read on her to determine which she’d be. The best I can do is that she isn’t “Receiving Gifts”.

#ask #acosf spoilers #Anonymous

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swannbreezethesweet · 5 years ago

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Headcannon about Nesta and her time at the Illyrian camp. Part 1

Part 2

It takes Nesta a month to leave the tiny house she and Cassian are staying in.

(It’s bigger than the cottage her family had lived in - it’s a house).

She would have gone to the tavern to drink her feelings into oblivion but the stares she gets from the Illyrians are not kind.

A few people had sneared at her when she’d arrived and the word Witch had spread like wildfire through the camp.

That insipid man Devlon had actually snarled at Cassian to “keep the witch away.”

She’d decided that she’d had enough of being forsaken for one day anyway.

It made her chest start to feel like it was imploding.

Besides Rhys owned the house she was staying at - she’d find his hidden stash of liquor.

She didn’t.

Turns out the holier-than-thou patrons of the inner circle had taken care of that before shipping her out here.

Nesta had taken her anger about it out on Cassian.

She’d taken a lot of her anger out on Cassian that first week.

Screaming at him when he wouldn’t tell her where the spirits where.

Snapping at him every time they interacted.

No she didn’t want a tour of the camp.

No she didn’t eat the food he’d made her, it probably tasted like ash anyways. It didn’t. It was some of the best comfort food she’d tasted.

No she didn’t want to go train with him - She’d survived the war without his training, she’d be fine now.

Besides, she’d yelled at him one day when she was feeling too much and too little at the same time, it wouldn’t matter if she died anyway.

Cassian’s face had crumpled instantly and Nesta had regretted opening her mouth even faster.

She didn’t come out of her room for the next 24 hours and refused to look at Cassian directly for a good few days longer.

It was better that way, she reasoned, looking at him interacting with him made her feel things. Better to just be numb.

She couldn’t go around saying stupid shit that got the overgrown bastard checking in on her every two hours if she was numb.

Dealing with the bonfires was worse.

The fire in the house was okay - she could escape to her room and press and sheet against the bottom of the door and be okay.

But she couldn’t get away from the sound of the bonfires.

Their snaps and crackles were so loud it’d left Nesta immobile that first night. Immobile and without anything to keep her warm.

The fire snapped and she’d hear her father’s neck snap with it.

The fire crackled and Nesta saw the light leave her father’s eyes.

Regret weighed her body down like a boulder on a rock; pulverising until she was nothing and no one.

He was sorry and he’d cared and he’d remembered his daughters and she hadn’t thought it in years but she loved him. She loved him and he cared and they were going to fix things and they’d get better, she’d get better. Together.

It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore.

Nesta had come to the next morning with hands so blue she had to soak them in her bathroom sink for over an hour, gradually adding warm water bit by bit.

Now she just wore all her layers all the time.

So it was about a month into her stay when she left the house for the first time.

She’d read all the books she’d brought with her three times over now. And she was bored.

She’d been napping on and off for the last two days and Cassian was away on some errand or something for his High Eminences.

He’d probably be gone for the rest of the week

Feyre could have at least left Cassian around for Nesta to pick fights with. It was her birthday.

The stupid voice in her head told her that her sisters had forgotten her birthday; forgotten her.

A meaner voice told her they remembered but didn’t care. Why would they, all she did was fuck everything up.

So no, Nesta couldn’t nap today and Arthur’s love affair with his wife’s handmadien just wasn’t doing it for her right now.

She decided to make a day of it, going out to find more books. She didn’t have anything better to do.

She washed her clothes and had a bath.

She washed her hair - which was something she hadn’t done it about a week - and remembered how good it actually felt to have clean hair.

She made her bed while she was waiting for favourite jumper to dry.

It was the softest thing she owned okay and it made her feel good and she’d be damned if she was going to face the outside world without it.

It was well past lunch by the time she was ready to leave the house. And a part of her - the part that wanted her to rage and suffer - whispered ideas of staying in the house taking a nap. After all, she’d already achieved something today - she could go tomorrow.

But no, she needed those new books and it was her birthday. She was allowed to want things on her birthday.

The camp wasn’t huge. There were training grounds and houses and like a total of three shops.

Nesta got lost anyways.

She thought she’d go past the training grounds and not the houses to try and avoid as many people as she could.

Cassian was often in the kitchen at this time of day; making sure she’d eaten something or at the very least had something to grab - insufferable.

It also has something to do with those crazy brutes wanting to train through the hottest part of the day for endurance or something but Nesta wasn’t really paying attention when Cassian explained why he was making lunch so late.

Nesta hadn’t asked and she certainly didn’t care.

But yeah, Nesta was a bit lost.

There were two paths she had to chose from and she had not clue whatsoever as to which one she should choose.

She chose the right path.

It was the wrong path.

Instead of houses and shops she found tents. (If she could even call them that).

They were dismal things really, pieces of canvas hung between two trees over piles of pine needles.

There was mold on the sheet of canvas next to her.

The tips of two sets of wings could be seen behind a tree not far from her.

Nesta didn’t want to think about what it meant that there were children here who where hiding behind a tree and not an adult.

She knew what the war had cost the Illyrians.

Knew a lot of those deaths where her fault.

If she had just —

It didn’t matter.

She called out to the kids.

The two of them emerged from behind the tree and Nesta felt her heart stutter.

It was a boy and a girl; the boy couldn’t have been older than 8 and girl looked like she was barely 3.

Both wore thick jackets, covered in mud and leaves and pine needles, that came down to their knees.

Nesta was willing to gamble that it wasn’t by design.

Do you live here? She asked them.

The boy tensed and placed his hands on the shoulders of the little girl who stared at her with wide eyes; she was holding what looked like a rag in her hands.

They didn’t need to answer. Nesta knew. But watching the boy dart his eyes to her right; to the piece on canvas next to her, no, to the small sack hidden beneath the pine needles there, broke something inside of Nesta.

She wanted to scream at someone. How dare the world treat these kids so harshly.

Nesta reached down to pick the bag up and a quick glance at its contents had nearly made her gag. In it was half a loaf of bread, some mouldy cheese and a half rotten apple.

She thought of all the food back at the house. Of the cans of soup that lined half the pantry’s shelves and fresh loaf of bread that appeared like magic every time she ran out. She thought of the fruit bowl that she would have killed for as a child in that decrepit cottage and how she hadn’t touched anything in it in days.

And Nesta refused, refused, to be another snooty nosed villager who spat on the poor.

Her fist tightened around the sack.

I have more food than I can eat at my place, She told the children in front of her, you’re welcome to all of it if you want.

Nesta didn’t wait to see if the kids would follow her. She didn’t look as she dropped the sack to the ground and went back the way she came.

If they didn’t want to follow her for food fine. Not her problem. They could stay in that hell hole and eat that moldy food.

And if Nesta was relieved when she heard a timid knock at the back door of the house once she’d gotten home no one had to know.

I have more but like idk if I’ll make it a story or what. Please let me know what you think - this is the first time I’ve done this.

#nessian #nesta archeron #acomaf #acotar #cassian #sjmaas #nessian headcannon #nesta headcannon #acotar headcannon #nessian fic #nesta fic #post acowar

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flowerflamestars · 7 months ago

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I don't know if my continued Rhys Efflorese babble gotten eaten so here it is again. (if I'm repeating myself I'm very very sorry)

Rhysand being so certain that Cassian and Azriel's Illyrian honor and loyalty will keep them on his side without having even a shred of awareness about what Illyrian honor even MEANS much less what it might mean if they feel that HE'S the one who betrayed them first. I'm not sure that Rhysand even has any concept of Illyrians beyond the asshole camp lords that Night put in charge. (Why were they freezing in the mud, huh, Rhys?! WHO PUT THEM THERE?! Why might they not be will to share their whole selves with the Prince of Night, huh Rhys?)

It says a lot about how much faith and respect they had for Shahar (I can't remember how to spell her name right now) that even though she didn't live among them as one of them, they still very much considered her theirs and believed she could (and would) make the future better for them. (This is a thought I had while reading Starlight: the House of the Wind is possessed by the ghost of Rhysand's sister and she's fucking Pissed at him)

Rhysand is very bad a cost-benefit analysis. Particularly because he doesn't seem to have any concept of what a 'cost' actually is, especially when it's someone else who'll be paying it. Or even what a benefit is really. (Dude, you have two business savvy, policially knowledgeable, intelligent humans who are personally invested in keeping Feyre safe. This would be a FANTASTIC opportunity to learn about the state of the human lands and kingdoms and formulate plans based on new information instead of, you know, deciding you already had a perfect plan despite the fact that you haven't talked to a single (not Feyre) human in at least 500 years.(*insert the "no it's the children who are wrong" Simpsons guy meme here*) Or that maybe there's this guy right here with friendly acquaintances all over the place that could be very useful if you weren't, you know, a shithead. But nope, slightly bruised pride too much cost)

Rhysand's desperation for Feyre to only see him in a very specific light is greatly aided by Feyre's equal determination to only see him in that exact light.

Rhysand thinking that, even after learning he fucked off to the continent and got arrested for gambling debts, bringing shit-head papa Archeron into the situation will keep ANYONE in line (kinda love that even though we're all, like, Everyone Gets a Name but then none of us will can shithead papa Archeron anything but shithead papa Archeron)

Rhysand hoping this situation that he doesn't want to deal with implodes while not comprehending that it will implode into A WHOLE NOTHER SITUATION

Do you think he's a bit baffled when Feyre comes to the conclusion that her sisters hate faeries? Like he's perfectly pleased with the situation and happy to roll with it because it'll drive a further wedge between her and her sisters do you think he looks at the perfectly polite chats with Cass and Az despite the glowing siphons and giant bat wings (plus the Shadows in Az's case) and the House Full of Blood Magic/ Lucien FUCKING Venserra situation and think "Whelp, I guess you've got an immortal lifetime to learn some observation skills" (not that she'll learn good observations skills from HIM anytime soon)

Rhysand thinking that Feyre loves and cares about these people and that therefore they are a THREAT to HIM instead of that meaning that he should maybe he should care about, or, a least, try to get along with them.

Elain just keeps smiling a playing the perfect hostess is nearly as infuriating as Nesta snarling in his face. Then she puts Cassian's knife to his throat. That's probably one of them most WTF moments of his life. (someone please tell the Illyrians that Elain held a knife to Rhysand's throat. They deserve knowledge that this tiny human girl was willing to pull a knife on a High Lord for her people (a people they are now part of))

Did he notice that Elain served him some funny tasting tea and just think nothing of it because human food is all shit to him? (Also Cassian had almost zero reaction to Nesta saying that Elain had tried to poison Rhysand, his High Lord/'brother')

(in your Nesta/Eris story, the Valkyrie priestess says something along the lines of "Rhian's sniveling brat son may think the world revolves around him but it doesn't" and "Shahar would be disappointed in him." These statements feel applicable this Rhysand (or all Rhysands really))

Rhysand is about to get a crash course in how loyalty is a two-way street. The Archerons' people (now including a bunch of awestruck Illyrians) are so ride-or-die for them because the Archerons are just as ride-or-die back.

All three of the Bat Boys are in the process of completely loosing their shit in different directions.

Side-note: When Elain offers Cassian tea and calls him sir and Cassian's like "WTF I'm not a sir" and Elain's like "It's a courtesy given to any man with a title" and Cassian's just "naw I don't have a title" and then in her head Elain's like "WTF in what world is General not a title?" It just makes me wonder about Cassian's (and by extension, Azriel's) actual place in the Night Court's (barely existent) court hierarchy.

Side-note the second: While mentioning the Night Court's barely existent government system the thought of Amren having secret peons in place helping keep the court running. It might have started as a bit of a game 'How much functioning government can I make before Rhysand actually notices" however I think it got boring pretty quick through a combination of, 'he barely ever notices anything not shoved directly under his nose' and mild concern that Rhysand might actually notice and stop her and the court will implode even faster than it already is (and she's gotten stupidly attached to some of these colorful insects and would like to keep them around a bit longer) (Side-side note: I'm SO hyped for Amren to meet the rest of the Archerons)

Side-note the third: if there's Archeron ships in Night then there's probably Archeron ships in Summer too right? That could spin the whole Summer-book theft debacle in... interesting ways. (I'm imagining Tarquin talking to Feyre about Archeron ships bringing in supplies to rebuild the city at greatly reduced transpiration fees or something and Feyre's just mentally like "wtf my sisters hate faeries why would they do that" (because she's still operating under that particular delusion) but (because Rhys thinks it's a good idea) she plays along like she knows about it or something and uses it to gain more of Tarquin's trust before, you know, Rhys's whole *brilliant* plan takes place. Imagine how abso-fucking-lutly pissed OFF, Nesta, Elain and Lucien would be. Like, the whole situation would already piss them all off but add in deliberately taking advantage their family's reputation and kindness to do it? Rhysand had better stay well out of stabbing distance. (Side-side-note: Tarquin's, like, less than one hundred right? The dude spent more than HALF is fucking life Under the Mountain. Give him a fucking BREAK.) (Side-side-side-note: Just popped into my head. What if there were babies BORN down there. Like, that's their whole life down there. I just realized that this isn't actually much of a what-if scenario because really we just have to look under Rhysand's OWN fucking mountain to see how that goes.)

I think that's all of the babble for the moment. <3

Oooo so much good stuff here! I'll try to go in order 💜

Rhys is canonically shitty about Illyria and the Illyrians! I almost feel like I'm hitting the bottom of the barrel to give it emotional nuance- Effloresce Rhys has wrapped together all his grief and ego into just. Complete bullshit. Nesta sees this immediately! ( Cassian and Az have. Had to live within this, which I'll get to)

But yeah, that's the center for him in so many ways: he has to The Most Right, Fully in Control, Always in Charge and also does not take responsibility for shit. Ever.

So he belittles it. A warrior culture? Savages. Mor blatantly using Cassian when they were young? Oh that drives Cassian crazy. Azriel is wildly fucked up? No, it's the fault of his childhood not his continued life! Cassian gets close to his literal soulmate? Are you fucking around with Feyre's sister, Cas?

One of my character things for Rhys is that he wants Everything just barely more than he wants nothing. He is SO voraciously is the center of his own world while being so utterly careless with that world. So there is no balance. There's just what Rhys wants.

And he wants Feyre so Feyre is also always right. And just. Canonically does not seem to value her sisters as people so much as auxiliary manifestations of her own self.

They're like her irksome pets Rhys has to deal with.

Cassian's actual rank is going to come back, but I would say that you could easily call Rhysands perspective on the Archeron alliance making 'huh, the dogs AREN'T smart enough to be afraid of bears, and I, a person, find this quaint'

(Elain is going to kill the fuck out of someone over this.)

Poison doesn't matter because Cassian chose a side basically the second he crossed the wall. Even without Nesta. (You could possibly say he has always had a side, and it has always been Nesta.) Further, Lucien absolutely clocked that blood! All these things add together, really.

As for Amren, she's less focused on a functioning government as she is invested in a broad outcome. She keeps her vows. She is, perhaps, playing an elaborate game of wondering what Rhys does and does not know.

Oooo Summer is a stop on the Elucien honeymoon diplomatic carpet bomb, actually. They're not actively trading there, but they're not unknown. Rhys is definitely still hunting the book to use Feyre's Super Specialness.

Tarquin is young and progressive! I know the books utilize this to be like 'oh, he'll give Rhys a chance', without ever clarifying if Tarquin or anyone knows the actual degree of Rhysands willing or unwilling cooperation with Amarantha. It doesn't make a ton of sense. I like to take it in another direction.

#an excellent ramble!#we're clarifying on the Illyrians points in the worst ways soon #kind of funny when I think about it that the books act like Rhys is ever good at strategies #commiting atrocities to spare yourself personal pain is. not that #And! he believes his own hype! all the time!#the crux of Feyre is the more things go wrong #the more she listens to Rhys #(or herself)#stress just heightens the hero complex bullshit #meanwhile Nesta: worked so hard to stay safe in a place that is no longer safe. no reason not to full throttle #not to mention Elain #or Lucien with Ya Know all those friends and allies and POWER waiting to be unleashed #human rules all out

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elidelochans · 4 years ago

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Secret Snowflake here. Interesting read list! I've only read hobbit. I'll be sure to bookmark those. With regards to the 5th ACOTAR book coming out, besides nessian - 1. Something you hope happens, 2. Something you hope does not happen, 3. other character you would like to hear more about, 4. what do you want to learn more about when it comes to Illyrians?

Hey snowwie! Silmarillion is one my favorite J.R.R Tolkien books ❤❤ right after The Hobbit.

Hmmm

1. For Cassian to stand up for himself. Everytime he stands up to Rhys, he concedes. I want to see the Illyrians change their ways, stop clipping the women's wings, let them fight if they want to.

2. A love triangle. I'm over them. I know you said besides Nessian, but this is one of my big things. Oh and Nesta apologizing to Feysand. They should be apologizing to her. ( I'm not anti anyone except maybe Tamlin. I love that everyone is morally grey and fucks up and in this case they fucked up.)

3. Elain. Alot of people are dismissive of Elain, find her boring, etc. I'm actually very intrigued by her. There's a fire rising inside her and it's only a matter of time before she implodes. Besides I really need to know if it's gonna be Elucien or Elriel. Lmao.

4. Honestly everything! I'm excited about Illyrians, their culture and customs. I'm excited to see how Nesta connects with them and eventually changes them (we know her and Cassian will), I wanna see how Cassian is with Illyrians, Devlon. How he is with everyone in the camps. With the women, the children, the other men, the boys terrified to train.

#anon ask #answered #the snowflake speaks

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wingsofanillyrian · 7 years ago

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You did this for me?

So apparently tumblr ate the ask for this one. Feedback, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

Cassian stood before the mirror, tying his sea blue tie around his neck. Mor had picked out the color, telling him that it accented his eyes. It took him 3 tries to get the knot right because he was so nervous. He was finally going on a date with Nesta Archeron. He’d pined after her for months and months, unable to get her off his mind. Finally, his smooth charm broke through her stony shields, and she agreed to a date. He quickly tied his auburn hair in a messy bun while striding to the balcony of his quaint apartment. Unfurling his wings, he looked over his shoulder to inspect them. Talons gleaming? Check. Lint free in all the little nooks and crannies? Check. He was ready. He leapt over the railing, sailing for the house of wind. ********** Nesta stood in the foyer with Elain, who was fussing over her hair. She tucked a stray bit of the golden locks into the fishtail braid that hung down her back. “Are you excited?” Elain questioned, a look of pure joy on her face. Her sister was finally coming out of her hard shell; becoming open to new things. “Yes,” she replied tersely, smoothing the front of her blood red velvet dress. It was backless, showing off her defined shoulders, which she considered one of her finest features. “You’re nervous,” Elain noted, stepping around to face her sister. Her expression softened before she continued. “You shouldn’t be. He’s a great guy.” “I know,” Nesta breathed. She turned her gaze to the entryway, hearing something her sister didn’t. “He’s here.” Before he could knock, she opened the door. ********** Cassian couldn’t breathe. The sight of her knocked the breath from his chest. Standing before him was a woman born of the raging sea; beautiful yet wild. He met her steely grey eyes, which were slightly lined with khol. His gaze swept down, taking in every detail of her dress, which hugged every curve perfectly. “Wow, Nesta. You look wonderful.” She blushed slightly, the sight of which made Cassian smile. “Thank you. You clean up nicely as well.” “What, this old thing?” He motioned to the crisp grey suit he wore. “Stole it from Azriel’s closet. We’re the same size you know,” He added with a wink. Taking his elbow, Nesta stepped off the porch and onto the sidewalk. “Really?” She teased, “I would have thought his arms were bigger than yours.” Although now, with one hand securely wrapped around his firm bicep, she doubted it. “I don’t know about that one sweetheart.” He taunted, flexing as if to prove she was wrong. Her tinkling laugh that followed was music to his ears. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Nesta asked, “Where exactly are we going?” Cassian gave her a devilish grin. “You’ll see.” ********** They strolled along the Sidra for a time, talking and laughing. Cassian finally led her toward an apple tree near the riverbank. Under it, a picnic table was set with a candlelit meal, complete with a bottle of her favorite red wine. Across the Sidra, they had the perfect view of the setting sun through the mountains. Nesta gasped, tears blurring her vision slightly. Cassian stepped away, worried. “Nesta?” He put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Are you okay?” She nodded, smiling lightly. “Cassian…. you did all this for me?” His shoulders slumped in relief. He smiled widely, a sight Nesta wished she saw more often. “Yes, of course I did.” Taking her hand, he led her to the bench. She slid onto it, sweeping the skirt of her dress under her. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” A single tear slipped down Nesta’s cheek, which Cassian quickly brushed away with the pad of his thumb. He cupped her face with his calloused hand. “I would do anything to see you smile, Nesta.” He whispered, meaning every word. Tears filled her eyes once more. “No more tears, alright? Let’s enjoy our dinner.” She smiled again, and Cassian felt his heart swell. They dug in, stories and laughter filling the air for the remainder of the night.

Cassian couldn’t remember a time when he felt so carefree. Each time she smiled or laughed, his heart felt like it would beat out of his chest. Their entire night was perfect, a picnic dinner followed by stargazing while he escorted Nesta back to the townhouse. When it finally came time for them to part ways, he hesitated.

“I had a great time, Cass.” Her use of his nickname made his stomach flip.

“So did I,” he told her, dropping his gaze to her lips. He wanted to kiss her so badly. But he would respect the boundaries she had set, whether or not she actually voiced them. He smiled faintly. “Goodnight, Nes.”

As he turned to leave, she reached out to take Cassian’s hand.

“Are you going to leave me without a kiss goodbye?” She asked, her cheeks reddening. “That’s not very gentlemanly.” Cassian’s heart thudded in his chest as she looked up at him through her lashes. Gods, he couldn’t screw this up.

Carefully, he placed his hands on her hips. Bringing his face within inches of hers, close enough to share breath, he paused.

“Never.” Nesta surged up onto her tiptoes, capturing his lips with hers. The kiss snatched the breath from Cassian’s lungs, and suddenly all he knew was the feeling of her lips on his. Her fingers tangled themselves in his hair, tugging him deeper into the kiss. It was filled with months of pent up passion which neither of them could ignore any longer.

It was Cassian who broke away for air first. She smiled at him, and his world imploded once more.

“See you tomorrow?”

Too caught up in the memory of previous moments, Cassian could only nod vehemently.

#my writing #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #cassian x nesta #nessian fanfiction #acotar #acomaf #acowar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruin #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses fanfiction #nessian drabble

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sirendeepity · 3 years ago

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🔮🤧💟❗️ for the bookish asks 🥰

Not gonna lie, it took me a moment to realize that "🥰" wasn't a part of the questions. My first thought was "...Why did she put it at the end and not with the others?"

BUT MOVING ON

🔮 what book/series has your favorite magic system?

MMMh probably the various books in the Grishaverse. Miss Bardugo did it just fine. They're well described and organized and you can understand what the powers actually are and do, which is quite the thing for my dumb bilingual ass. Take a hint, SJM!

🤧An overrated book/character trope you're tired of?

I absolutely despise the pick-me/chosen one trope. I'm not one of the throwing-books-across-the-room because they cost me money and I'm poor so I don't want to damage my investments, bUT GIRL I am this close to letting the book take a shower if I have to read about it again. Like, instant dnf. (And I very, very rarely do that, too. I would sooner die of dehydration than dnf a book.)

BONUS: This is a liiittle too specific but one of the things I'm and sick and tired of is the mating bond. Like I get it, your love is already graved in stone, it was written in the stars the moment you were born, fate and destiny and all of that. But, I mean, freely choosing someone because you want to spend the rest of your life with them instead of having some sort of superior identity doing in for you based on power and offspring? Can we talk about the power this holds? Take Nessian. It would've been L E G E N D A R Y if Cassian chose Nesta for Nesta. (Nesta couldn't care less about the whole mating thing even in canon content so at least we know for sure she chose Cassian for Cassian). No mating bond to tie them together. Just Cassian and Nesta. The Night Court General and the Death Goddess. Choosing each other.

I would have simply imploded. ACOSF could've still been trash, could've been even worse, but this teeny tiny particular would've made the difference for me. I would be talking about Nessian nonstop with heart-eyes as if the 800 pages before didn't even exist.

💟A book/character trope you can't get enough of?

Two words. Eleven letters.

Found family.

I am yearning for this. You say "found family" and I am sold. Please take my money and give me the content.

❗️what's your most anticipated release for 2022!!!

I'd say Blade Breaker by Victoria Aveyard, CC2 by SJM, and the third book of The Wicked series by Kerri Maniscalco. PLUS Idk if they'll come out in '22 or '23 bUT The Atlas Six's sequel by Olivie Blake and the last book of The Dreamer Trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater.

send me an emoji for the bookish ask game!

#dee answers #ask game #bea tag

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bookofmirth · 4 years ago

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So uhh, if you've seen the livestreams you'll know how much sjm loves az and how exited she is to write his story. Now, I see many fans saying he's toxic, and though I don't share that opinion, I accept that we all see things differently, but I wanted to say that I don't think sjm is going to make him the bad guy, not a chance. I read a lot of paranormal romance (sjm too) and the guys are usually like this, you know, "horny 24/7 and want to kill all competition", is the trope kinda sexist? Sure but I find it hot and so does sjm, and though this might be an unpopular opinion, i think az is the least possesive of the three brothers, like, if elain told him she wants lucien az would back off, actually he waited like a whole year/two unil elain came to him.

So my point is, sjm is not pulling a tamlin 2.0.

Also, and this is biased, the "elriel is toxic" argument isn't that strong, bc the things most non elriel shippers find toxic are things sjm finds sexy.

I'm rambling, sorry, whatever, I just wanted to put that out there but I 100% believe we all can and should have fun shipping whatever we want-

I just hope sjm works magic and that somehow we're all satisfied with the next couple which I highly doubt hahaha a girl can dream

I agree with some of this stuff, but not all of it. Lemme explain.

I know sjm loves Az, just like she loves Nesta, Eris, Lucien, and Rhysand, etc. They are her characters. Why wouldn’t she? I’m not sure what that has to do with ships or books or anything. She said that Eris is her favorite Autumn Court character, right? And he’s clearly been an asshole. I have OCs, and they all exist for a reason. It’s not about loving them or not.

Elain didn’t come to Azriel, they ran into one another.

She'd waited until everyone was asleep before venturing back down, where she'd leave her gift amongst his other, opened presents, subtle and unnoticed.

And the argument about Az, I’m not going to use the word “toxic” (never have, in fact) because people are throwing it around a lot lately to basically mean “bad” without any underlying understanding of what that looks like in a relationship, romantic or otherwise.

However, I’d like to point out that when I analyze Azriel’s character and what a potential relationship would look like with Elain, I am not arguing that that’s why it wouldn’t be canon. I am explaining why I, personally, do not ship it. Those are different things.

I do agree with you that sjm has written a relationship similar to what I have predicted Az and Elain would be like - feylin. She’s written this before, so I don’t understand how some people fail to see the similarities. Did Tamlin love Feyre? Hell yeah he did. And there was a lot of sexual tension and then straight up sexy times between them. He’s still mourning her two years later.

But was Tamlin in a place where he could have a healthy, supportive relationship with her? Nope. They imploded big time, despite loving one another. That’s what I’m arguing. Other people may frame their analyses differently, but I’m saying that Az is full of rage and jealousy and he just isn’t currently in a place to have a lasting romantic relationship. Jumping into a romantic relationship with someone who requires so much emotional labor, who needs to be constantly reassured that they are good enough, that their touch isn’t “tainting” their lover, etc. it’s exhausting and will ruin a relationship. Take it from someone who knows this personally. (And honestly, this still puts me on the fence about gwynriel. I literally only ship them because it’s what she wants, I don’t actually care about Az in this equation because of this whole paragraph.)

I also think that both characters (Tamlin and Azriel) deserve love. Everyone does. It doesn’t have to be romantic love, though? Which is why I also said in this post from March 12th that I don’t think Azriel will become Tamlin 2.0, which means I also agree with what you said in that regard. Here are the relevant bits of what I wrote:

Tamlin is basically a cautionary tale for Azriel and I don’t see how people can have read this series and not see that. Not see that sjm wrote Azriel in a very specific way in that extra.

Will Az get to the same lonely, dark place that Tamlin has ended up? I doubt it. He has a much better support system than Tamlin, for one. He also is being set up to have an HEA, for another. There isn’t a war on, no Amarantha holding everyone hostage. Their histories and personalities, the people they are surrounded by are different - the way they deal with their emotions and trauma is not.

I think a lot of the disagreements right now are coming from 1) just having different interpretations, and then 2) seeing that other people have those different interpretations and trying to justify why ours are more “right”, even though that’s almost impossible to do. Also I think that we are reading arguments and forgetting where they come from, so groups are getting mushed all together as if they are a hive mind and so then I get stuff like this saying “Azriel won’t turn into Tamlin” and then I have to be like “yah I know I literally said that before”. (No shade on you anon, it’s happened a bunch but this example is right here.)

It’s like saying I prefer feta and the fandom trying to explain to me why brie is better. idgaf, I just like feta. So yes anon, let’s all just have fun! I don’t mind genuine discussion and differences. What would be the point of me posting and everyone just saying “same” all the time?

#acosf #acotar #anti e*riel #antielriel #azriel #tamlin #ask #anon

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kayarai · 8 months ago

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Rhysand's desperation for Feyre to only see him in a very specific light is greatly aided by Feyre's equal determination to only see him in that exact light.

Rhysand hoping this situation that he doesn't want to deal with implodes while not comprehending that it will implode into A WHOLE NOTHER SITUATION

All three of the Bat Boys are in the process of completely loosing their shit in different directions.

I think that's all of the babble for the moment. <3

Today on I Reread Effloresce And Had What If Pov Thoughts: RHYSAND. Like what is going on in this dude's head? Seriously. In the little snipit we get of his pov it sounds like Hyburn is his biggest concern but that derails into a desperate need to one-up the Archerons SO damn fast. His oh so ~well~ thought out plan gets blown to smithereens instantly and his control freak self is PANICKING while also trying to maintain his whole calm cool casual facade. Will he ever admit how badly he misjudged the whole situation in the human lands? No. Does he even care? Probably also no. All that really matters by this point is that Feyre's sisters keep upsetting her and THAT can't stand.

Added to all this other plan breaking bullshit, Cassian starts following around after the angry loud one like a lovesick puppy and he's not 100% sure what's going on with Az but Something is.

And of course Lucien FUCKING Vanserra.

I'm willing to bet that Rhys's suggestion of going to get shithead papa Archeron is based on just how much Nesta and Elain seem to hate him.(And then Az shuts that down with "I will fucking KILL HIM")

Then the wardrobe of dead birds happens and he thinks for like half a second that he should feel bad about that but then Nesta is shouting at Feyre and he can't have THAT. (Then the sweet polite sister grabs the knife from Cass's boot. Oh yeah, she did STAB Az didn't she)

He looks forward to seeing Nesta put in her place by a bunch of misogynistic Illirian assholes but instead the entire legion is ride-or-die for team Archeron practically from the moment their feet hit the ground. How the HELL did they mange THAT? (it's called respect and basic decency. Try it sometime)

(and then Mor gets there just in time for Az to start noticeably losing his shit.)

(I also noticed that there was a line where Rhys bit back a snarl because even after all this time it would make Feyre uncomfortable. Meanwhile Lucien just has no qualms about being absolutely undeniably Faery in from of Nesta and Elain and they give exactly zero shits about it.)

Oh man, Rhys. Rhysie Rhysie Rhys slowly but surely showing more and more psycho.

So, the thing is, Hybern IS the top priority. However- and I think this is just like, so pivotal to Rhysands character as a whole- it has to be fighting Hybern his way. He has a year to tell the other lords shit, and he doesn't. He steals, he lies, he puts civilians in danger.

And why? Well, because that's the story he's telling.

Textually, observably we have Rhys, arrogant misogynistic selfish fuck face that he is, and then we have Rhys, the battered but unbroken noble underdog fighting against odds for the Good of All tragic hero man- this is the story he tells himself. It's the one he makes sure Feyre believes. It falls apart against all his actions, but that doesn't matter to him.

The humans don't want to talk to him? Of course he's going to find a back way in. Feyre's human sisters might die? Well, one less thing to take her away. Humans might die? Sure, Rhys feels bad, but not enough not to weigh the cost favorably.

Then he actually gets there.

And they're so... Unbiddable. Hostile. They've upset Feyre, they've written blood magic all across their land, and Rhys might appreciate cleverness but this is just more than he wants to deal with.

And Lucien. Sidebar: what I think is hilariously never talked about is. Well. Lucien actually is all the things Rhysand romantically imagines himself to be. He is ACTUALLY the lost heir, the disinherited son, the noble prince. He actually did stand against Amarantha for his friends. He's drinking respect women juice by the gallon while actually being charming and powerful. I cannot imagine this doesn't lie cardinal to the reason why Rhys is so disdainful towards him.

Lucien is easy to write off by himself. (Because Rhys fucking hates him). Nesta Archeron sets everybody's teeth on edge. Elain keeps smiling. They're all the worst and every one of them is important to Feyre and thus, a threat to Rhys. Anything that could hurt her is, he won't allow her to be hurt.

Cassian is acting like an idiot but Cassian is an idiot about women. Azriel is all Azriel but what else is new? Rhys will deal with it.

(Rhys will not deal with it. Rhys does not believe for a second how serious this all is. Rhys is, frankly, already bored. Maybe he'll find Feyre's father. It'll make her happy, and someone else can wrangle the others.)

They're merchants- of course they're merchants, grasping little mortals- they have a contract? Well, if they want to play with magic so badly, Rhys will help them.

(Rhys does not understand what Azriel finds so compelling, much less Cassian. Illyrians do not brook with disloyalty- even the mention is enough for shame. They won't betray him. They won't, but it's still enough to annoy)

Cassian's bleeding heart has always been a problem. Azriels moods. Honor. What honor did they ever learn, starving in the freezing mud, Rhys thinks. These humans want to wade into waters that will only drown them- Feyre will be so much safer, no ties left to mortality- of course Illyrians, backwards, difficult Illyrians, side with these misbegotten nightmare women. Let them be crushed by it, let one rebellious legion die, Rhys doesn't care either way.

He's pissed, but he's also letting things play out hoping it just implodes an entire situation he doesn't want to deal with.

He's also not actually totally in the loop. Cassian's POV makes Azriel really distinct because they are so, so close, but Rhys, for a lot of reasons, doesn't have the same understanding. He knows Azriel went off the rails when his mother and sister died, but so did, you know, half the mountains. He refuses to even entertain how personal it was beyond maternal feelings.

Things get worse and Rhys gets worse because this is not how it was supposed to go. What the hell is it about these Archerons?

#other people’s writing #other people’s stories #effloresce #lots of love #and reread hearts

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