#Need to update my azem a bit

[ritzzor]

My WoL and my Azem

[send-project]

Progress Update - May 2023

Hello, this is Azem!

After months and months of silence, I'm back with an update on the game's progress. Prepare yourself, because I'm about to reveal a number of new information and changes to "Send!"

This progress report will be divided into two parts:  1. News 2. Development

1. News: As you may have noticed from my recent posts, the game window appears to have a 16:9 aspect ratio. You may wonder how this is possible given that RPG Maker VX Ace only supports a small aspect ratio (544x416 and 640x480). I was tired of the old, small window size and felt the need to upgrade. Along with that, I realized that the size of the pictures, overlays, and effects I was putting on the maps was limiting my abilities in terms of mechanics and smooth gameplay. So I figured, "Why not switch things up and move the entire thing to another engine?" and now I'm working on "Send!" in RPG Maker MV. It was a little difficult at first for two reasons:

1. Because my sprites and maps are the same size, I wanted to keep the same 32x32 tile size due to MV originally supporting only 48x48 tiles. And also because the majority of the resources and tilesets in my collection are the same size, whereas MV has fewer resources on the web than VX Ace.

2. I had to decide whether to start from scratch in MV or convert the majority of the game to MV while redoing the most of the maps.

After a long brainstorm and procrastination, with a mix of inspiration to rewrite the entire game's prologue, I decided to start from scratch on MV. I managed to find a way to keep the same tile size in MV, wish wasn't hard enough for a beginner user of the engine. Yes, it may be nerve-racking and disappointing that there will be no demo sooner than expected, but trust me when I say that the final product will be far better compared to what was expected.

As previously stated, I have begun reworking and rewriting the prologue, which contains the story introduction and the game's beginning. While doing so, I learned to be much more organized in my work and resolved to improve my game planning for the remainder of the game. The game's aesthetic and each chapter's concept are now finalized, and you can rest assured that it will not disappoint.

Now I'd like to talk a little bit about the demo. Unfortunately, "Send!" will not have a "proper" demo. I'm thinking about what would be best for "Send!" and its release/s. Regarding this subject, I've decided to write a proper post in the near future in which I will finally announce "Send!"'s release schedule, plans, and so on.

2. Development: Let's get started on the actual game's development. It's far too early to say that development is advanced, but the game has finally progressed from "the early state of development" (yes…after 3 years…you heard that right). Right now, I'm concentrating my efforts on the plot and story, as well as the maps. It's far more convenient for me to actually write the story while I "write" the game's environment and world. That being said, a little programming has been done up to this point.

The introduction is nearly finished. It mostly just needs a few touches, fixes, and glances after I finish writing the first chapter and maps, at which point I can finally devote my full attention and concentration to the game's programming. Yes, I've begun work on the first chapter of the game, and as I previously stated, not programming, but writing and designing the actual chapter before moving on to programming and finalizing it with bug fixes and overall final touches.

In terms of programming, I was able to complete some of the game's basic menus. I chose to keep it simple, polished, and tidy so that the player has a pleasant experience with the game menus.

As I previously stated regarding the game's aesthetics, each individual chapter will have its own aesthetic. The first chapter's concept and aesthetics have been finalized. Here are some chapter one previews to whet your appetite. As you can see, chapter one is mostly about the forest/cottage core, moss core, and a few touches of goth. For this chapter, I was heavily inspired by various images and artists, and I hope you enjoy it!

I also worked with the game's soundtrack. Due to the lack of a helping hand, I've decided to try my hand at learning another skill. This isn't particularly important for this progress update, but I wanted to include it.~

This concludes another "Send!" progress update. There's a lot more to unpack here, but first I need to finalize some plans. I hope the changes do not disappoint you and that you enjoy them. Thank you so much for your support! See you in the next update post!

Make sure to check my other social media: Twitter; YouTube; Instagram; and if you want to support the game development here is my Patreon; Thank you so much for your support!

[gothmiqote]

some assorted cutscene varhas & me complaining abt blender under the cut lol :p

the head is a fairly quick & dirty port i did, the struggle to put new teeth in there was 1. fucking unreal 2. probably also not something that was as difficult a i made it out to be

on my list of further things to do are more edits around the mouth area, specifically the upper lip. ofc you can't spot the problem in this shot, but the inner area needs some more volume since it's doing a weird think where it curves noticeably inwards when the mouth opens. probably a fix that'll take a few hours max, half of which will probably be spent testing motion until im happy. there's also a bit of a seam down the middle, but idk if that's enough of a problem for me to deal with lmao. the hair covers up the most visible area, and even that's not too awful in most lighting conditions.

speaking of hair, it does look like my go-to styles for her will need the ear replacements done in blender (blegh). miqo ears are attached to the hair model, so while you Can use pre-7.0 hairs without any movement issues, you won't have the updated ear shape and the textures will probably be a bit off. these ones were just run through the loose texture compiler, no manual editing on my side. i can't tell if i'm liking that or if it could be better? idk I've never painted hair maps before, could be fine or it could be a mess lmao

i haven't even looked at converting the scar texture for her body yet, i probably won't until penumbra is back online tbqh. the new textools is fucking fantastic, but i don't love having to open and close the game every time i want to make a mod change. it also doesn't look like the body shape i use will be getting updated (boo) since the creator has a new version they're working on and i don't like it as much lmao which means it might be up to Me to sort that one out. probably not a big deal except i'm also running the ivcs skeleton version which is fghjsdgjk a whole extra Thing to deal with. i like the extra control it gives me in gpose + some custom animations though so worst case scenario, more blender lessons lmfao. if that's the case i might make the switch to skelomae, depending on which dev kit i find easier to actually parse. i'm wondering if it's worth my time to play around with some body scaling mods, never used them before but im intrigued. also a distinct possibility I'll have to update the skin texture i use for estinien, but i know tbse already has a beta out so i'm not too worried about that. at the end of the day body & face textures are probably the easiest things to mess with. fucking love the person who, within 24 hours of early access, released a mod that gave him his lips back. was worried i might have to port that too but nope, someone beat me to it.

oh god right i also still have to do azem's head port. that one had custom texture uvs, which i'm sure will provide anyone layer of weirdness to whatever process i end up performing on it. i am Not looking forward to putting in another set of nicer teeth lmfao but it's worth it. perhaps it won't be such a shitshow this time around. her eye texture is fucked but I've already seen some updated ancient eyes floating around, so it's whatever.

i am Also not looking forward to going through my penumbra wardrobe to see what works and what doesn't & all i have to say is 10/10 for me for having the foresight to meticulously organize those mods into hyperspecific folders.

also i miss my pose mods gfsdhkghysjd i need to take cute pics in some of those new areas okay.

[tekutiger]

Leveling my SAM on Mari, finally 🙃. Am I one of the rare few who levels a class to 87 and then uses Duty Support strictly to see those three? If you know, you know.

Endwalker spoilers under the cut, and by that I mean EW Zone 5 Dungeon. Endwalker has been out for how long now? I probably don't need to do this, but I know sprouts are still out there 💖

At first I only had the intention to get Mari one class to 90 in each role. But somewhere along the way plans changed. I blame Emet (and partly glamour, and housing).

My mindset literally goes 'Oh if I get to level 87 I can go bug Emet' 😇

I was taking so many screenies of SAM skills while leveling, simply out of boredom. I'll be adding those momentarily 🙃, but I'm convinced there's no way I could play, or be, a 'damsel in distress'-type if I were thrown into some 'story' or 'world', (isekai~).

(I'm truly telling you I was bored. Leaving me alone with my thoughts running rampant is a bad thing haha. Perhaps next time I should turn on an Audible.)

I'd be the type that'd constantly want to 'catch up' to the person I want to be side-by-side with. It's fine if I'm 'weaker' but there's no way in holy heck I could settle with being left behind. It'd drive me bonkers. To be useless? To not be able to protect someone you care about? I feel like that's the sort of dynamic Emet and Azem potentially had. Those feelings and those thoughts. I don't want to ramble on about it (I'll end up with a novel that no one asked for), but that's both crushing and sinking.

Maybe I'm overthinking it, or putting my own HC on it. But it's pointed out in story that they (Emet and Azem) spend a lot of time together. And Emet spends so much time searching for hints or fragments of Azem after the sundering. That emotionally stabs me in the heart. So, yes. I will level my classes to 87 just to see him, and the other ancients.

I really need to stop rambling but what even got me on this train of thought to begin with was; First of all leveling my SAM and going to see Emet- and the fact that Bleach TYBW is coming out in less than 2 weeks~! I've had massive brainrot for literal months now 🫠

Why do I feel like my favorites always get kind of... brutally hurt? For no reason? 😞 (more so than other characters, I mean.) I want to protecc, but I can't 😖

I'll post my SAM screenies now~ and save my QQ'ing for another day 🙃. (I have several, but I recommend looking up GIFs or vids of these if you're interested cause screens can only show so much. BUT! I think the screenies are cool because they capture a literal moment in time that's hard to see in GIFs/vids)

Gekko & Yukikaze. I feel like the Gekko graphic could use an update. It's a bit uh... saturated. I realize that's because I'm hecka zoomed in and SE probably doesn't expect people to be playing that way but 🤐

Hissatsu: Senei & Hissatsu: Kyuten.

Shoha & Shoha II.

Hissatsu: Guren. Both screenies - I just love that I got one with Emet snapping his fingers 😊

Midare Setsugekka.

These are from me just removing the HUD (i.e. Scroll Lock) and hitting Print Screen.

Okay, time to go get 89 -> 90 now 🙂.

I should probably also do the role quests so I can dye that Artifact gear set. Red is my favorite color but I'm not sure it goes well with Mari's purple hair... 🤔. Ehhh, maybe.

Also, sorry Hermes~ ♥ you.

[toadeyes-miqote]

Is this dynamics what Emet saw?

I done this back in end Shadowbringers and Estinien did not disappoint. Except for finding the right pic to use. Various Past and Present lives relationship fell in place.

While it isn't a 100% replication but the vibes that parallel was what mattered.

Emet definitely caught the vibes in my ShB playthrough and that saddens him further about how Helen (Azem) had be so immersed in her current life that she managed to build a team dynamics that was kinda similiar to the one he once had with her.

Thancred - Hythlodaeus partner in-crime, enabler, Emet's wingman, best buddy with Azem. In the absence of Estinien, Thancred would be the Hades stand-in

Estinien - Hades The grumpy one that backs Azem up regardless of how he feels. Complains a lot but you can count on him. Ends up needing to be the responsible role model to Themis that Azem isn't

G'raha - Venat You know very well G'raha could do it and done it he did

Alisaie (Ryne) - Themis

That whole wanting to shoulder responsibilities bit and looking up to the WoL as a role model of sorts. Alisaie's more the little sibling to Hylnyan than Alphinaud could ever be. In the absence of Estinien, Alisaie would be the Hythlodaeus stand-in while Ryne remains the Themis.

Ryne actually shares this bit too. She came out of her shell around the time she wanted to go on patrol with Hylnyan to fight Sin Eaters in Rak'tika).

Themis would be the one that kinda makes a flighty Helen try to ground herself to be a good role model for Themis. But her out of the box ways is unorthodox to normal folks and Hades.

I'll update after breakfast if I manage to find a pic or add more.

why it bothered Emet was it created doubts and made him question himself.

Maybe he was afraid that Hythlodaeus' soul got accidently set adrift and reborn into one of these lower beings

Hylnyan's lack of memories brings to question whether or not rejoining could even bring Azem!Helen back. Hylnyan is curious but neutral about Emet.

Would he be able to handle it she hates him for the rejoining? For her relationships might contain new souls or sundered soul who might not become the dominant personality of a rejoined soul. (Her mate was plan to be a minor sundered soul of someone on Elpis or a new soul. Him, Ryne, her friends this is why she fights Emet.)

[wickedwildsurge]

Writer's Game

Writer's Game: First Sentences

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven't written ten fics, share as many first-sentences as you have.

Tagged by @mirrordaltokki

I don't really have anyone to tag that hasn't already been tagged, so if you stumble upon this somehow and haven't been, consider yourself tagged. xD

Just going to go in order of most recently updated, because why not.

1: Even Were I Blind: FFXIV, Haurchefant/named WoL, a sort of soulmate AU semi-fix it...thing. E rating, heavy on the angst, mostly set in Shadowbringers for the moment. Updated at random and sometimes extremely long intervals.

The first time he sees her, it stops him in his tracks.

2. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Sun: FFXIV, Magnai/named WoL. M rated for now. Another ongoing fic being updated whenever the whims of fate allow. Definitely not entirely an excuse to torment Magnai.

Night falls over the Steppe, an endless expanse of star-strewn darkness settling over restless winds.

3. A Key (that could use a little turning): FFXIV, Sue-Rend/unnamed WoL. E rated. A self-indulgent one shot based entirely on the random thought of someone trying to distract the WoL during a bit of a heist.

“What is taking so long?”

4. Forever is Our Today: FFXIV, Azem/Emet-Selch. G rated. A fluffy little piece about a beach day, and my first foray into a fic exchange through a fanfic discord.

How many eons passing had it taken for wind and water to carve away the looming sea cliffs, to grind down the wall of rock into the finest of fragments?

5. Chances That Were Lost To Us Forever: FFXIV, Foulques/named WoL. E rated. I'll say it again: Foulques was done dirty by the lancer quests and he deserved better. This was my attempt to make it up to him.

It was just her fortune that the one cave she could find in the blinding storm already had an occupant.

6. A Dragon's Taste: FFXIV, Estinien/unnamed WoL. E rated. A silly idea inspired on a discord conversation that somehow turned into multiple chapters of smut.

"Ooh, what is that?"

7. Thus to Dream: FFXIV, Urianger/named WoL. M rated. A modern AU piece done for a trope challenge from a fanfic discord. Actually has a second chapter in progress, though when it will make it out of my WIP folder is anyone's guess. >_>

The wind drove the rain against the window, the sound less of a patter and more a collective thud.

8. Like Falling Stars, We Fade Away: FFXIV, Cerigg/named WoL. E rated. The Shadowbringers role quests NPCs are underappreciated. I also had an idea for a heat fic, using a different sort of heat for Au Ra that I wanted to try out. The BLM AU for my main WoL Vieryne.

Cerigg sighed heavily as he lowered his tankard to find Taynor's anxious visage at his side once more.

9. Birds of a Feather: FFXIV, Karasu/named WoL. E rated. I love this lunatic gremlin, and he was the perfect choice for Vieryne's NIN AU. Not much more needs be said, except perhaps that there's a second chapter in the works for this one as well.

“You've come far, my little chick!"

10. The Finer Points of the Craft: FFXIV, Brithael Spade/unnamed WoL. E rated. Still one of my favorite rarepairs. Just wanted to show the best crafting NPC some love...on an anvil...in the middle of the forge.

“Forgemaster?”

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 1-3 author notes

A sort of an analysis post, rambling about the stuff I’m trying to imply in my comic. Read and see how much you’ve noticed or missed :>

Starting with the obvious parallels.

Raha’s expectations vs reality.

Our Warrior is, indeed, unfortunately, not what he seems.

^ In this scene Vivi’s genuinely enjoying himself, getting that sweet revenge on the owner of that disembodied voice.

In this scene, however, he’s not only amused, but also overplaying a bit out of sheer pettiness. “Oh it’s THAT guy again, let’s show him his place”.

It’s not too important to point out in the comic, but the laughter scene does stretch on for long enough to consider that Vivi may not be 100% genuine here.

It goes unnoticed by both parties, but Vivi’s less-than-valiant behavior effectively shatters whatever wall could’ve initially been between them. Now they’re equal.

And not only Raha doesn’t feel any reverent tremble before the hero of Eorzea anymore, he all but hisses at Vivi, scared that he’d go around telling everyone about his shame.

Which never happens!

Everyone around them is confused by Vivi’s sudden outburst and their cryptic exchange of? Threats? Promises? Whatever that was?

Again, they don’t notice that yet but you’re allowed to know that they’re kinda on the same wavelength, sharing one braincell. By “don’t you-” Raha means “don’t you fucking tell them about me landing in the river”, and “shh, we’re good, I’d never” from Vivi is a reassurance that he didn’t, and won’t. A shared secret’s still a bonding material, even if it’s this ridiculous.

Their exchanges overall are rather short during the entire ARR arc because, take it or leave it, they don’t have much in common yet. Not much to talk about. However their sass and mischief are colliding in explosions.

A bit of a break from the lyrical mood, look at these defeated ixal. I’ve looked up their refs, rolled up my sleeves and then decided to just not x’D

I’m incredibly proud of this frame.

Like seriously it turned out so good composition-wise. Also the lance! You won’t find it ingame, not in this game at least - it’s a guild wars sunspear. A bit of an easter egg and a cheeky reference to the sun, Azem, yadda. Vivi doesn’t keep this spear for too long, I’m not even sure if I’ll draw it again. Next time he carries a weapon on-screen it’s a new one, completely original because I don’t like any ingame lance :’>

Also a random semi-related fact: Vivi’s gridanian! So Raha unknowingly chooses the worst possible matchup. Pretending an elemental or whatever he thought he sounded like, should I even mention hiding in the GREEN TREES as a REDHEAD.

The first scene takes place on a summer night.

Not sure if I could convey “summer” somehow but it’s not that important. I just wanted to go all in on the ShB foreshadowing. And I personally associate Vivi with a summer night. Midsummer. Fae. Wait, it’s way too early for that-

Thank you for reading the comic, I’ve been working on it for over a month now, with maybe one day off per week, that’s how excited I am. This workload could be unhealthy in the long run, so I’ll try to keep the updates within 5-6 pages/10-12 frames from now on. Still quite an amount to dish out in one week, but otherwise I wouldn’t reach their “endgame” even in 5 years. Well, I’m just starting out and seeing what works best for me. I took this month off work to fully dedicate to the comic and see where it lands me money-wise, but I’ll have to go back to adoptable-making in September. My monthly needs are ~$1400, comic currently makes ~200 ;w; But again it’s too early to judge, I’m hoping that more people join patreon or kofi.

[potassium-pilot]

Prompt 20: Petrichor

I’m in over my head, he thought, I know nothing of the Convocation other than what I learned in school; my creations seem so minimal compared to the Emet-Selch; they’re all taller than I am- I know height has nothing to do with it, but it’s still intimidating. Am I truly worthy of the seat of Elidibus? Am I really the Emissary?

“Do you smell that, young Elidibus?”

He turned his head behind him and noticed a woman. One of the members of the Convocation he met, but which one?

“Y-you’re…the Azem, is that correct?”

“I am, just like you are the brand new Elidibus. Now, do you smell that?”

Elidibus stared down at his lunch that he chose to eat outside on the steps at the back of the Bureau. “Oh…if the scent of my lunch offends, I apologize…”

“Your lunch neither offends my senses, nor is it what I’m referring to, Elidibus. We’ve had a dry period for some time, have we not?”

The weather was far from his mind, but he answered, “Yes, I…think so. Why?” Azem sat down next to the young one and replied with yet another question, “Have you ever noticed that scent that comes before rain after it hasn’t rained for so long?”

Why is she asking me this, he thought. Is this a test? “Uh…no, not really.”

“Hm. You should, young one. One of the gods put in quite a bit of work into making the rain as pleasant as possible. It adds a spice to life to notice the small things.”

He gathered a strange first impression of the Azem, but decided to take a whiff of the air, try to gather what she means. To his surprise, there was indeed a difference. “It’s…sort of earthy…”

“You’re right. It’s a pleasant smell to me, although some have their preferences.”

Elidibus took a moment and asked, “Is this some advice for how to deal with the Convocation?” Azem chuckled with her mouth closed, then responded, “No, friend, I’m just making conversation. You seemed so nervous in there.” Never had he felt more grateful for his red mask as he blushed at the thought that someone would notice such a thing. “The first day is odd, isn’t it?” she asked him.

“I don’t know about odd…but I must admit, I feel a bit…” he didn’t want to finish, but the phrase he was avoiding was ‘out of place”.

“Wanna know a secret about the Emet-Selch?”

That piqued his curiosity. “Uh…will that be all right?”

“Sure, so long as you keep it between the three of us.” Elidibus nodded at the agreement. He watched a wry smile form on the Convocation member’s face. “He’s a sucker for strawberry candy, and he bugs me to bring some home every time I leave Amaurot on my missions.”

His eyes widened at the thought. “Really?” She nodded. “He’ll deny it, but he’s obsessed with it.” Elidibus made a thoughtful hum. “Now what do you like?”

“Me?” he pointed to himself.

“Is there someone else here?”

“N-no…I…” he felt confused as to why she would care, making him hesitate. “I…I like that one concept, that card game…”

“Ah, you’re a gambling man. I see… you and I will need to play one night. I’ll show you some of the cheap tactics I picked up on my travels. You can help me clean out my friend, Hythlodaeus.”

The young man smiled. “What of you, Azem?” She smiled back. “I love to dance. When the Emet-Selch, Hythlodaeus and I go to the park, Hythlodaeus always takes me to see the musicians nearby, and I drag him into dancing when the Emet-Selch inevitably runs to avoid it. There’s another secret for you to keep.” Elidibus chuckled slightly.

“Ah, finally, a laugh.”

“S-sorry…”

“Nothing to be sorry for; I just like knowing that you’re capable of letting loose for a bit.”

He nodded. There was a moment of silence before he asked her, “Azem, is there anything I should know about the Convocation?”

“That we’re all flying by the seat of our pants.”

He stammered at that remark. “I-I beg your pardon?”

“My young friend, confidence is key to being a member of the Convocation. Quite frankly, there’s something new everyday, and it’s impossible to create a real standard for how we handle things. We have our protocol, but as much as they complain about me skirting it, they have also conveniently avoided protocol themselves.”

“But-but we’re supposed to lead our people, keep our society thriving…”

“If that’s how you keep looking at it, you’ll be that nervous every single day for the rest of your tenure.”

He blinked.

“Yes, we’re leaders, and we do, in fact, lead, but there’s no trick to being a Convocation member. There is simply being one. Bring ideas to the floor, engage in debate, do your reports and other paperwork, and go home. You’ll feel much more fulfilled at the end of the day if you remove the unnecessary pressure.”

He contemplated her words.

“The next time we go to the floor, I have an idea about revamping the concept submission process, make it more streamlined for easier processing. Could I…ask for your support, Azem?”

She pretended to ponder, then told him, “Tell you what; I’ll support it…if you can beat me at a game of cards.”

“What?!” he exclaimed in disbelief.

“Those are my terms. Do you accept them?”

“Is that…that can’t be protocol!”

“It’s not, but I should tell you how the Lahabrea got me to support his idea to reconstruct the Akadaemia Anyder.”

BOOM

The thunderclap roared over the Bureau of the Architect, and the rain slowly followed suit.

“Seems like a good time to play in my office, don’t you think?”

He still felt befuddled by the idea that any one of the Convocation of Fourteen should be anything close to him. That they were anything like him felt foreign. They’re leaders of Amaurot, creation masters; how could they be as clueless as the Azem claims them to be?

“Or would you prefer to sit alone in the rain? Because I will be returning inside to listen and watch it from the comfort of my dry and warm office with my meal. I would be pleased for the company, but I will leave that decision to you, young Elidibus.”

She stood up and as she said she would, she turned around and walked inside the Bureau. Elidibus sat there for a moment, realizing just how little he liked to get wet, but still wasn’t sure what to think. Finally, he rose from the stairs himself, and opened the door to return inside himself.

He walked down the halls to locate her office, passing each door, trying to see if there were any that he could peek through, but many were closed. Lahabrea…Igeyorhm…Nabriales…Emet-Selch… and last, but not least, Azem, the only open door. Before young Elidibus could enter, he heard a voice behind him.

“Ah, good afternoon, Elidibus. Were you hoping to speak with me?”

Emet-Selch approached him from behind. Elidibus turned to meet his gaze, despite being hidden behind a white mask, and answered, “Oh, no sir. I was hoping to speak with Azem. She invited me to lunch in her office.”

“Did she now?” he asked with a hint of curiosity in his voice. He took his shoulder and told him, “Come.” The two entered her office together, the Emet-Selch clearing his throat to get her attention. It worked, but she didn’t pry her gaze from the window.

“Hades, use your words”, she teased.

“Helios, are you corrupting this young man?”

That got her attention enough to turn around. Indeed, the young Elidibus stood at his side, a shoulder in the Emet-Selch’s right hand. “He informed me you asked him to lunch with you in here.”

“Oh, Hades, there’s nothing to corrupt. He’s quite stalwart for someone so young.”

“What has she told you, young man?” Before he could answer, she piped in with a teasing, “Nothing of import. Certainly not about how you beg me for strawberry candy when I leave the city.” Hades gasped and stumbled his words, “I-you-guh-I most certainly do not!”

“Uh-huh” she taunted, “Nor how you try to bring home near every stray cat you meet.”

“I would never bring such a pest into our home!”

“Right, now what will you tell Locus when we get home? She’ll be just the saddest cat we’ve ever had.”

He growled, shot his gaze to Elidibus and told him, “Everything she tells you is an absolute lie.”

“Only when it’s convenient for me to be telling the truth will he say I’m telling it, or so I’ve noticed.”

“Helios, you’re impossible!”

“I love you too. Now you better not have eaten lunch without me. I’ll excuse dear Elidibus here, but you?”

“I would never. Come, Elidibus, take a seat.” The young man nodded and took one of two seats in front of Azem’s desk.

“Um, Azem, when did you want to play that card game?” Elidibus asked meekly.

“Ah!” She pulled out a deck of cards and answered, “I’d like to finish my meal, then we can get started.”

“You’re not teaching him that ridiculous card game.”

Helios shook her head at her beloved, “I don’t have to. Why, he told me himself he loves card games.”

“Do you?” Emet-Selch asked the new member incredulously. “Uh, yes, sir, I do.” Realizing how this could be taken, he blurted out, “I-I don’t usually play it when I’m working, but-but I was asked to play with her for a work reason.”

“Oh dear…” Emet-Selch rubbed his temples and asked, “I think I know what she’s doing. All right, young one, what did you want to bring to the floor?”

Something within him sparked. That such a powerful creator could possibly listen to someone like him made him feel so honored. “Well, sir, if I may, there’s been many complaints about the process for submitting a concept, and I had an idea for how to streamline it, make it easier for employees to process submissions, and if you’ll hear me out, I think we can make it work”, Elidibus rambled excitedly.

“Hm”, Emet-Selch thoughtfully hummed, “You are correct that many do have trouble with their concepts being input. Long wait lines, a filing system that needs updating…not a bad idea.” He turned his head towards Azem and asked, “But why are you making him play cards for this?”

“I need to see him play now that he’s told me he likes this game. Besides, he may have your support, but I still have my terms.”

“Such are the dealings of our Azem; you truly wish her to be your role model, young man?”

“Role model? I’m simply his coworker.”

“Well, I’m glad you would deny the mantle. It might be better for someone who actually performs his duties to teach him the ropes.”

“Ha! I do my job well, thank you. It’s just not pencil-pushing.”

Emet-Selch shook his head. “Whatever will we do with you?”

“The better one is ‘what will you do without me?’”

“Work, probably.”

She scoffed at him, and told Elidibus, “I’m ready for that game now.”

“Deal me in as well.”

“My stars, Hades- you would play cards at work?”

“We’re not exactly working now, are we?”

A smile formed on her lips as she shuffled the deck. “Not quite. Don’t worry about him, Elidibus, it’s just me you’ll need to beat, not that it’s hard to beat our Emet-Selch at cards.”

“Hmph, slander, my love.”

The three played a good round. Azem gave him a run for his money, but he ultimately succeeded in the end, and received her full support for his proposal. Not that it mattered; she would have supported him anyways, but she enjoyed seeing the young man go from the nervous wreck he started his day as to a more relaxed version of himself, one that realized he was among peers, and not masters.

“There, he won. Are you happy, Helios?” Hades asked annoyedly.

“Quite. Thank you for a good game, my young friend” Azem complimented.

“Now come, Elidibus; it’ll be better for us to discuss this without her influence.” Hades stood up and walked out of her office to go next door. Elidibus stood up, ready to follow him as he requested, but then stopped. Without turning around, he asked her, “Would it be all right if I came back to eat with you tomorrow?”

She grinned. “My friend, anytime I’m in Amaurot, you’re more than welcome here. I’d rather you here than outside in the rain.”

He smiled and said, “Thank you.” Elidibus walked out of her office and moved himself from her office to the Emet-Selch’s.

The day went by without much clamor, then Elidibus gathered his things and left the office for the day. As he walked outside, the humidity left from the rain slicked his skin. It felt sticky, not his favorite sensation. Then he remembered the conversation from his lunch with Azem.

He took a deep breath, and embraced the earthy scent that blessed the city of Amaurot.

[soulprofitis]

my rules and about until i can make a carrd! :D

i'm fer, 21, he/him, gay and trans so don’t be weird. blog is 18+ (i won’t rp nsfw/aka erotica on the public blog itself, but might post stuff with it so just be aware!)

independent, selective; i’m new so i don’t have any mutuals yet, though i’d prefer to rp with them if i do.

no proship, no incest/rape/pedophilia. pls respect that. i’ll block anyone that can’t deal with me having a boundary.

i may drop threads! this is not usually purposeful, i’m still figuring out how to keep track of things TuT my apologies

6.0 spoilers, i will often tag them if they are Big Ones, but… hyth is a bit of a spoiler in himself.

about my interpretation: hyth has every gender and none, uses he/him and they/them without any preference!

msg me for any close/important relationships you’d like to try out! i prefer to chat things over first so everyone involved is comfortable. i’m open to various pairings w/ chemistry, mostly among the ancient characters, of course, haha. this is also open to wols/azems!

also this will probably always be multiship and i do not currently have any mains! (if that changes i will post about it + update this ^-^)

opening asks: i accept rp memes and character asks always!! it may take me time to get to each one because i like to put a lot of thought into them, but i will answer most unless the ask is inappropriate/makes me uncomfortable.

i’ll gladly take starters / prompts / plot ideas from people who want to write with me! shoot me a message if you would like to tag me or have me write a starter!

triggers will be tagged if needed! i’m glad to add more tags if anyone needs, in case i miss something.

i’m open to rp on discord as well; i’m relatively new to tumblr rp so my formatting may not be perfect! if you’d prefer rping in dms over discord, just let me know!

if my theme/posts are ever difficult to read, please let me know and i will fix it asap!! i really want my blog to be accessible, it will never bother me to make them that way for you

thank you so much for anyone who sees this! <3 i appreciate any msgs / interest anyone might have!! i’ve really wanted to rp ffxiv for a while and finally had to jump in.

[catte-bard]

Those Halcyon Days Ch. 1

MAJOR SHB SPOILERS AND 5.3 SPOILERS

First chapter of my big Amaurot writing project done! Essentially, just a super indulgent fic about my Azem. Leading up to her defection from the Convocation and the eventual sundering of the world. I will try my best to keep it updated periodically.  

@ffxiv-writers​

AO3 Link

“You are in trouble, dear Azem.”

Persephone looked up from her work at her guest. Then glanced at the wall chronometer. “Good afternoon, Halmarut.” 

“Is that all you have to say for yourself?” The man placed his hands on his hips. “You missed this morning’s assembly.”

Though she caught sight of the little smile on his lips. He feigned disapproval but he did not come here to scold. Her old mentor tried to be the formal and serious member of the Convocation that he was expected to be. But the man could never hide the soft spot he had for her.

“I’m sure the Convocation will not fall apart because of this absence.” Persephone answered back, turning her attention back to her work. She plucked a quill from its inkwell to quickly scribe something down in an opened notebook. “Asides, I’ve just returned from my travels and am weary from them. If I am to subject my mind to another one of Lahabrea’s long-winded speeches I would rather do so with a well-rested one.”

“Must you antagonize the man so much?” Halamurt shook his head. “You know he called for you to be censured for missing this meeting.”

And Persephone rolled her eyes. “Yet you wonder why I must antagonize him.”

Her and the Speaker never got along. That wasn’t to say they hated each other, nay for there have been some times where they could be kind and respectful to each other. But they simply clashed with each other more than the other Convocation members. Halmarut once told her that was because the two of them were so alike. However, offended by the claim, she dismissed it.

The man sighed as he walked up to her desk. Curious of what she was working on and being unabashedly nosy about it. “The Convocation awaited what you had to report from your travels. Six moons—that’s the longest you have ever been away from Amaurot. We were all worried and curious to know what kept you away for so long. Usually your expeditions are half that time.”

Her lips pressed into a thin line, a frown hidden behind her mask. “I’ve been busy.”

Her response was vague and she should have known better to use such with Halmarut. It only made the man pry even more. 

Halmarut canted his head. “Busy? Have you come across anything unusual?”

The tone in his voice implied that her response might mean something depending on how she answered. She looked up at him. “A few rogue concepts...” She carefully said. “Odd things but nothing to worry about I’m sure. Perhaps, something created by a few rambunctious younglings who were too ashamed to tell anyone about. They didn’t give me too much trouble if that’s what you’re worried about.”

That was a fib.

Much had occurred during her travels that made her think. Yes indeed she came across many rogue concepts—though more than usual. She had not wanted to share the concern with Halmarut, not wanting to frighten him, but part of her even wondered if it were people actually creating such things.

With such concepts, usually the perpetrator was some youngster and their friends getting carried away with creation magic. Or someone who had fallen too deep in their cups. 

But something had been different about these. They had been too twisted and grotesque looking to have been born from the mind of someone. Unless that person were simply twisted themselves? Nonetheless the beings she faced were less like concepts and more like beings born straight from someones nightmares. 

It left her feeling anxious and restless. 

But until she knew for sure what was going on, she did not want to worry the Convocation or the public. Later on she would discuss it in private with the Emissary. See what his opinion on the matter was and if it should be brought forth at the next assembly.

Halmarut was quiet as he puzzled over her words. Seeming to internally debate something. His fingers drummed against the stop of her desk—a nervous tick of his he did when something was nagging at his mind. Something on his tongue he wanted to say but held back.

Persephone was a bit curious herself now. Wondering if something had occurred in her absence. “Master Halmarut?” She called, pulling him from his thoughts.

So lost in thought was he that he startled at the sound of his voice. 

“Is everything well?” She asked.

“Ah.” The man cleared his throat. “Just a...small concern. But nothing you need fret about right now; it still merits investigation. That aside, you should have brought your matter forth to the Convocation or at least the Bureau—you know what little tolerance there is on rogue concepts.”

His own vagueness surprised her. But she supposed that was fair since she was omitting details as well. 

Persephone shrugged. “I did not think it important to report straight away if I had it handled.” It simply had never been her way, she always sought to deal with certain matters on her own. Much to the Convocation’s exasperation no doubt. “The concepts were destroyed as per protocol and no one was injured. I saw no reason to report it right away.

“Though rest assured, the Convocation will be getting the full report of my travails tomorrow.” And she gestured to the paperwork before her. “I am working on that now if that’s what you truly came to pester me about. If you do not wish to scold me again then perhaps you should leave me to it?”

At that Halmarut grunted. “Well initially I had come to ask a favor of you. But if you are so set on shooing me out the door.”

“Go on.” Persephone encouraged with a wave of her hand.

“I was hoping you’d be free tonight to help me with some of my classes at Akadaemia.” He told her. “It’s getting to that part of the year and the students are beginning to have a glazed look in their eyes. A surprise visit from the esteemed Azem might reinvigorate them a bit. I’ll even throw in dinner as payment for asking you to work late after just returning home.”

A glance at the wall chronometer. 

And Persephone supposed she would be done with her work well before Halmarut’s evening classes. So long as none of their other brethren decided to come pester her about other tasks. Though she supposed if she spoke of a prior engagement it might keep their requests at bay.

And asides, she had oft helped Halmarut teach his classes before. She always enjoyed herself. And there was a nice thrilling bit of nostalgia about returning to the lecture halls of Akadaemia.

“I suppose I’ll be able to make it.” She told him.

And Halmarut beamed at her. “Excellent!” He exclaimed. However, he quickly sobered and cleared his throat. “I will be waiting for you. And dear Azem, do try to make the next assembly we call. Myself and Elidibus may have patience with you but the others may not.”

She smiled. “I will try.” Was all that was promised.

With that he bowed his head in farewell and walked towards the door. However, he paused midway. “Ah! Actually there was one last thing, my dear girl.” He called over his shoulder.

Persephone looked up expectantly.

“I do believe Emet-Selch was on the hunt for you earlier.” He told her. “Do be careful when you come across him. He seemed rather upset to learn you had skipped this morning’s meeting.”

It had been another three bells after Halmarut’s visit. And fortunately, Persephone had not had to entertain any more guests. Which left her to finish her long and grueling report about her six month forey. Along with a very sincere sounding apology for her absence at the previous assembly. 

Her fingers ached from writing so much, and halfway through she made a mental note to herself to look into a concept for a quill that wrote by itself. It would certainly make things less tedious. And would lessen the occurrences of wrist cramps.

She even had to remove her mask. For it was starting to feel heavy and stuffy while she worked. It was odd to say but she felt she could work with a clearer head without it on. Being within the private safety of her office, she supposed it was fine as well. 

She stared down at her report in silence. Truth be told, there was much more to her prolonged absence than she had told Halmarut. Much more worrying concerns. 

But she could tell the man had his own pressing matters to worry about if his early comments were anything to go by. It seemed Amaurot had gained some of its own troubles while she was away. She only hoped it wasn’t anything as bad as what she discovered out there.

She read over one of the journal entries she had included in the report.

A shocking amount of plant decay was observed north of the city where the rogue concepts dwelled. An entire forest dead and dying as if disease had swept through it. It’s unlike anything I have seen before. It is natural for plants to wither and rot in nature. But this is to a starling degree. 

It seems less like natural rot and more like a corruption. The native fauna that had once dwelt there had long since fled. And I do not blame them. 

Annona theorized that perhaps the presence of the rogue concepts caused the rot. Their unnatural energies warping their surroundings. I will look into it further after we’ve made sure all the concepts have been destroyed. 

The locals worry about the rot. They are a farming settlement and worry that this rot might spread to their crops. Even made a fuss about cleansing ourselves before setting foot inside the city again whenever we returned from studying out there. 

Whatever it is, it has the people scared. I understand their fear. They work closely with plants, and this isn’t a familiar disease. This is something different. 

Days had been spent in the forest studying the rot. Weeks and months had been spent trying to revive it. And yet despite their efforts, nothing refused to regrow there. It seemed that whatever disease or corruption tainted the area had seeped down into the soil. 

She had begun to hate the place. And never liked venturing there alone to collect samples. A wrongness simply had fallen over it. She didn’t dare say cursed but...

It seemed nothing would grow there again. A troublesome prospect. Which is what brought her back to Amaurot. Unfamiliar with such a situation she thought perhaps Halmarut or the rest of the Convocation might have thoughts to weigh on the matter. 

Many of them were much older and wiser than she was. Perhaps, this was something they knew of? She had brought back a few samples for study just in case.

Deciding that what she had was satisfactory, she stood to gather up her report, however the moment she did so she felt a wave of dizziness overcome her. 

“Steady…” The woman mumbled to herself as she braced her hands against her desk. And the realization that she’d been working hours without break suddenly hit her.

“I’m turning into Elidibus.” Persephone scolded herself. Incredibly ironic since she was the one to often scold him about self-care whenever she discovered her colleague working late into the night.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have much by way of food in her office. Usually, just a few bags of tea. Though there were also those honey cakes she brought back with her from her trip. A rather sweet old man had offered them to her and her companions as a reward for ridding their home of beasts. 

And they were the sweetest and most delectable things she had ever tasted. She could nibble on a few until she had to head over to Akadaemia Anyder. Halmarut had promised her a dinner after all. So it should be enough to keep her hunger at bay until then.

She went looking through her things, managing only to produce one teabag and left pondering over which bag she had packed the cakes in. So engrossed was she in her task that she had not heard someone enter her office until she heard them speak.

“There you are.” Came a very dry greeting.

She startled. Not expecting a visitor and also very aware that they’d caught her without her mask on. Not a terribly heinous thing but still very improper and very embarrassing for someone of her standing to be in such a situation.

However, through her panic she recognized that voice. Her bashfulness fading as she turned to meet the stern figure of Emet-Selch. He stood there, arms crossed over his chest. And though his mask hid his disapproving expression, Persephone could tell his sour mood from the way his lips were pressed together in a firm line. 

“Emet-Selch.” She smiled politely. “What a pleasant surprise.”

His fingers drummed against his arm. “The first day you’re back already you’re causing trouble for yourself.”

“Come to scold me too about missing this morning’s assembly?” She asked and strolled over to him. “What a terrible way to welcome me home.”

Ah he was doing this then.

“You know our assemblies are mandatory for each member.” He continued. “You cannot simply skip them whenever you feel like it.”

“I had important work that needed tending to.” Persephone countered, placing her hands on her hips as she came to stand before him. 

And the man sighed. “Were that the case you should’ve sent word. The Convocation would have proceeded with another topic of discussion or rescheduled. By not doing that you’ve wasted—” 

But he let the words die on his tongue. He knew it mattered little to her. For she was Azem, head-strong and stubborn Azem. Reining her in would be like trying to control the wind. 

The Architect took in her bold, challenging expression and he sighed. “Troublesome. You are so very troublesome all the time.” He shook his head. However, his exasperation soon melted into a gentle smile. “But I suppose you are my troublesome problem, aren’t you?”

A cheeky response was on her tongue, however she had not the chance to speak before the man leaned forward and kissed her. A deep passionate kiss, filled with longing and desire. Speaking all the words he could not. 

Now this was the welcome she was hoping for.

Persephone smiled against his lips, worries forgotten and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Pulling him closer to her. Taking delight in the familiarity of his body, his scent, his warmth. 

His hands knew not what to do with themselves. At first holding her face, then her shoulders, and the wandering down to her waist. Simply enjoying being able to touch and hold her again. 

Eventually, she had to gently push him away, reminding herself that they were still inside the Capitol. And it would not do to have any of their colleagues coming across them being intimate in her office. While there was no actual rule stated that Convocation members could not be romantically involved, best not to test anything. 

Better to show restraint now before they were caught. One of the older members would probably scold them. And how embarrassing would it be to have their relationship dragged out before the Convocation and shamed. 

Persephone laughed lightly, placing a hand against her beloved’s chest to keep him at bay. For he leaned back in for another kiss. “You’re going to get us in trouble.” She warned. Who knew what other unexpected guests she would get today. 

“I cannot help it.” He excused. “I missed you. And I have not gotten to see you all day. You were not at this morning’s assembly.” And he then seemed content to simply hold her with his arms wrapped around her waist.

“And here I thought you would be angry with me.” She smiled, recalling Halmarut’s warning about Emet-Selch’s mood.

“I was certainly not happy to see you skipping an important assembly.” He admitted, wrinkling his nose. “For I thought you had found some sort of trouble again.”

“Do you think I’m that troublesome, Hades?” She feigned offense. 

Hades. 

It felt good to call him that when they were alone. With the Convocation and the public it was always titles—always so formal. To call him by his name felt like a special intimacy reserved just for her. And she missed doing so.

“Indeed I do.” He unapologetically said. “You and Hytholodaeus will drive me to madness one day.”

“It’s good practice for honing your patience most esteemed, Emet-Selch.” She playfully patted his chest and wiggled out his arms.

He was reluctant, but set her free so she could go back over to her desk. 

“You know you did worry me while you were away.” She heard him say, echoing Halmarut’s earlier concern. “It is unlike you to be away for so long.”

“Worried I wouldn’t come back to you? Run off with some handsome, roguish fellow instead?” She teased. And looked over her shoulder, offering him a gentle smile. “Did I not promise you that I would always return to you? And here I am.”

The man never liked her traveling away from home. Especially, since he was not permitted to go with her. His seat requiring him to remain in Amaurot. And so he worried. About the risks she took and the dangers she faced. It didn’t help his worries either that there had been times she’d been met with many close calls. 

And from the way the man pursed his lips, her answer did not satisfy him. “Everything is fine. I just came across a few...peculiarities that merited some extra attention.” She ran her fingers across her neatly stacked report.

 “And am I to be privy to what these…peculiarities were?” 

She felt him hovering behind her. 

“In time.” She reassured. “I wish to bring the matter up with Elidibus first before talking to the Convocation about it. Do you know if he is in his office today?”

“No, I actually saw him leaving as I was on my way here.” Hades told her. 

A surprise as the young Emissary always seemed cooped up in his office. 

Very well...She supposed she could wait until tomorrow to deliver her report to him. As well as a few honey cakes to soothe away any ire she had earned for missing the assembly. 

“You’re scowling.” She heard him say as he came up beside her. He gently took her chin in his hand so she’d look at him. “Worry about this another day. You’ve been working for most of this one. I’ve not seen you in six months, dear Persephone. Let us go home and make up for that lost time.” 

His words were soothing and tempting. Spoken with a warmth he always seemed to reserve for her. A special soft side of the Architect no one else knew existed.

And she smiled, reaching up to place her hand over his. “Unfortunately, my work is not done for today yet.” She gently told him. “I did promise Halmarut I’d help with his classes this evening.”

At that, she saw Hades’ lips draw down in displeasure. “Must you work the first day you return home to me?”

“Oh Hades, it won’t be long. It’s just one class and Halmarut isn’t prone to being long-winded like a certain Speaker we both know.” She leaned into him. “After that I am yours for the rest of the night.”

Asides, Akadaemia had the proper tool she could use to look at the forest samples she had brought back with her. She didn’t have time to study them like she wanted when she was afield. 

A mere grunt. 

She gave him a peck on the lips in appeasement. “I’ll make it up to you. Anything you want.”

“I will hold you told that.” Hades murmured and she thought she saw the corner of his mouth twitch up.

Persephone nodded and turned to collect her things. Halmarut would probably be expecting her soon anyway. “I see you back home then?” She said as she placed her mask back on her face. 

“Where I will be waiting for you as always.” Hades bowed his head. “With a very special surprise too as a matter of fact.” 

“Oh?” She raised a brow. 

“Yes,” Her beloved said as he accompanied her to the door, “But unfortunately, you have work to do at Akadaemia Anyder so I’m afraid you will have to wait to see what it is later. Neither will I be offering any hints.”

Oh how very cruel and smug of him! But fair she supposed. And Persephone could not help a laugh.

“Mm I shall be anxious with anticipation all night.” She said. “Oh!” A sudden cry of alarm coming from her just as they were about to leave her office.

“What?” Hades frowned. 

Persephone shot an accusatory stare at him and point at the potted tree by the door. “I thought you said you were watering Daphneae!” 

Daphneae being the pet name she had given to her beloved plant. It had been vibrant and green when she had left. Now it looked withered and dying. She knew Hades was no green thumb but still...

The man shrugged his shoulders at the sorry state of the tree. “I have.” He defended. “I’d even consulted some of Halmarut’s tomes but the thing seemed intent on dying. Perhaps it was just old?”

Persephone looked from him to the dying tree. Hades was not fascinated by botany like she was. But he’d never purposely sabotage her plants—he knew how dear they were to her. And tended to them with the same amount of care as he had for her. 

If he said the plant simply refused to thrive, then perhaps it was true?

“I suppose it’s fine.” She mumbled. Though that wasn’t true. Daphneae had been a gift to her when she had been accepted into the seat of Azem. It was very dear to her. But all plants died eventually, she guessed. “Plants can be replaced.”

How odd though…

No.

She quickly stopped that thought just as it occurred. It was a mere coincidence is all it was. An entire forest rotting in the west had nothing to do with her pitiful little tree dying in her absence. 

Still the sight of those poor withered leaves took her mind back to that dreadful place. So dead. So haunting. She would have to dispose of it later, looking at it would only bring her sadness.

Shaking her head, she looked back up at Hades. “I’ll see you later tonight then?”

He smiled—that special smile he only used for her. And placed a hand against her cheek. “I’ll see you tonight.”

[potassium-pilot]

Prompt 6: Avatar

“How do you stand it?” asked Estinien with a small growl in his voice.

“Stand what?” replied Aymeric curiously, unsure what he could possibly withstand.

“Having Dia in your house. Ever since I joined the Scions, she’s been a nuisance. I’ve not known peace. I’ll be on my own trying to eat, and she’ll appear from nowhere to sit down and interrogate me.”

The two engaged in a long overdue chat, borne from a request made by the Lord Commander to both Estinien (“Please, remember to stop by Ishgard sometime, old friend. I would certainly welcome a bit of catching up” Aymeric asked once upon a time) and Tataru (“I somehow doubt he’ll stop by Ishgard. Could I trouble you for an occassional update as you also provide for Dia?”) As an old friend, and one of the Scion’s most generous financial and supply contributors, she was more than happy to oblige, and even conspire to make him see the good Lord Speaker.

“The man will drown me in questions”, complained Estinien at the time.

“Who wouldn’t?!” Tataru countered, “It’s important to him, and as he’s a backer of the Scions, I would much rather keep him happy! Don’t you want to at least see your oldest friend again?”

And so he did. And so he found himself in the parlor of Borel Manor sipping on tea, sans birch syrup for the dragoon.

“How is she interrogating you?” Aymeric inquired.

“She’ll badger me with questions about the meal I’m eating and how my day is going, and make all sorts of strange quips. I don’t understand why either. She wasn’t like this when the four of us entreated Hraesvelgr, or even recently when we freed Tiamat and fought the lunar primals.”

Aymeric set his tea down on the table. “My friend, having experienced real interrogation, I believe you’re being rather dramatic.”

Estinien brought his gaze to his lap, rather embarrassed at the idea that he managed somehow to forget Aymeric’s ordeal at the Vault. It was never far from his mind, however. The image of his closest friend battered and bruised and the image of the knight who dared to protect Dia impaled by a spear of light haunted him every now and again.

“…perhaps a better choice of words was in order. Forgive me”, said Estinien meekly.

Aymeric released a sigh through his nose. “I can find it in my heart to forgive you…if you give Dia a chance. She’s not herself at work, and she’s trying to be herself with you, and engaging you in the longstanding pasttime of ‘welcoming you to a new place’ is a part of it.”

“How do you mean ‘at work’?”

“The Scions are as much employment as they are her second family. She’s rather singleminded in her focus when it comes to her assignments given by them. When no work is to be found with the Scions, it’s a very different story. ‘Twas much the same with the two of us once, and clearly, you’ve only ever engaged with her when she was working.”

Estinien harumphed and said, “Bollocks. You don’t become a different person just because you have a task at hand.”

“Really? Because I’ve watched you do just that.”

Estinien growled, but accepted defeat. He was right, after all. “Fine. I just don’t understand how she can be that chummy with the lot of us, then.”

“As I understand it, that group went through a rather harrowing experience together, a change from usually sending Dia into the harrowing experience alone.” Estinien couldn’t help but notice a tinge of resentment in his friend’s remark. Regardless, he responded, “From the meetings I’ve been dragged into, ‘harrowing’ doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

“Oh?”

“Indeed. The woman’s inhuman, Aymeric. No one could have survived what she did, yet she’s still here. I simply don’t understand why, and she refuses to explain.”

“Have you asked?”

“Yes, more than once. She simply doesn’t go into detail beyond what I’m sure you already know.”

Dia explained most of what transpired on the First to him after her official return when she managed to awaken the Scions. He was sure there was some sensitive information for Scion ears only that he couldn’t be privy to, but what was it that not even Estinien could know?

“And the other Scions know naught?”

“They mentioned that a wayward soul aligned with hers.” Ardbert, Aymeric thought.

“I’m well aware of Ardbert.”

“Ardbert?” Estinien shot back quizically.

“Aye, the Warrior of Darkness.”

“What in hells is she doing with a Warrior of Darkness in her soul?”

“Did they truly not discuss this in those meetings of yours?”

“Wasn’t exactly a topic of focus.”

“Fair enough”, Aymeric conceded, “At any rate, she’s incredible, is she not?”

“I’m still concerned she’s not saying everything she needs to say.”

“Hm, surviving impossible situations, refusing to discuss certain matters outright and going to great measures to avoid a conversation she does not wish to be a part of? Who could do such things, I wonder?” Aymeric faked consideration, enjoying teasing the dragoon.

“You’ve made your point”, Estinien sternly fired back, “I just wish she’d tell me what that bloody crystal does.”

“Crystal?”

Estinien raised his eyebrows at the question. “Have you not seen it?”

“No, I haven’t. What crystal?”

“There’s this strange yellow crystal that I caught her fiddling with, and when I asked about it, she hastily put it away and ran off.”

That concerned Aymeric, to say the least. What was she doing not telling him something? Not telling the Scions something?

“I’m telling you, something is off with the woman. Clutching crystals, carrying warriors of darkness in her soul- I don’t like it, Aymeric. Something’s wrong.”

Aymeric stayed silent. He was pondering just what she could be hiding. What piece was he missing?

“Speaking of, didn’t you say she’d be joining us?”

“She should have been here by now, yes. Why don’t I try contacting her? I’m sure she just landed herself into becoming a helping hand, as is her wont.”

In fact, Dia was hiding in the hallway near the parlor during that whole conversation. At first, she just wanted to leave the two of them alone for a bit, see how they’d do before she would walk in. Then, they started talking about her. They were going to demand answers, answers she couldn’t bring herself to give.

They were going to leave her once they found out, she just knew it.

She felt exactly one thing, and that was a desperate need to flee, escape from the hall before they could ask anything. She would leave them before they could leave her. Quickly, she teleported from the hall to the aetheryte in Mor Dhona.

“Did you hear that?” Aymeric inquired.

“I did, aye. Did someone teleport in?”

Aymeric stepped towards the hall quickly to investigate the sound of a teleportation spell. No one was in the hall.

“Maybe I misunderstand, but it could be that someone teleported out rather than in.”

“…that wasn’t her, was it?” Estinien hypothesized cautiously.

“I’m…unsure.” Aymeric put a hand on the linkpearl and attempted to contact her.

Nothing.

After another attempt brought no change, he decided to resort to the best person hunter in Eorzea: Tataru Taru. As she wasn’t available on his linkpearl, this required an in-person visit.

“I hate to cut this short, as I was the one who bid you come, but—“

“No need to apologize. I’ll come with you.”

The two teleported to the aetheryte in Mor Dhona and entered the Rising Stones proper.

“Oh, welcome, Lord Commander! And welcome back, Estinien. Did you two enjoy tea?” greeted Tataru cheerfully.

“Aye, for a while,” answered Estinien, “but I’m afraid we have a problem now.”

“Oh?”

Trying to hide his worry, Aymeric asked, “Did Dia come by here, per chance?”

Tataru shook her head. “No, I haven’t seen her since our meeting yesterday. I thought she was with you.”

“She was, but she had left the house earlier before he arrived to handle some leves, and promised to be back in time for tea. She didn’t come. I contacted her only to have my calls ignored.”

Tataru’s eyes widened.

“I’m telling you, it’s that hells-damned crystal and that Ardbert you mentioned” Estinien accused, “What else could make her act like this?”

“Crystal?” Tataru inquired.

“We can worry about the crystal later”, Aymeric responded, “Our first concern should be discerning her location.”

“Maybe you two should return to Ishgard, ask around and see if anyone’s seen her. I can send Hoary to ask around Mor Dhona and make sure she didn’t come by here”, proposed the lalafell.

“Not a bad idea”, replied Estinien. The two elezen teleported back to Ishgard, ready to begin a search. “I’ll take care of the asking, Aymeric. You should be there in case she comes back.”

“Estinien-“

“That wasn’t a request, Aymeric. Go home.”

*********************

They would get nowhere. They would never get to where she went.

Dia found herself in the Crystarium. The people happily greeted her as she walked through the settlement, but she could only return half-hearted sentiments. She was a bit distracted, after all. She settled on the Pendants as it offered peace and quiet while still fully assuring that no one would be able to contact her by linkpearl. The innkeeper led her to her old room, exactly as she had left it, minus the half-eaten food and Ardbert’s wandering spirit interrupting her respite.

She sat down on the bed, unsure what to make of what happened, of what she heard, of what Estinien was truly thinking. It was one thing that he was a bit grouchy about the way she would tease him when she was there. It was another thing to accuse her of becoming something completely different, of being inhuman. She’s not a monster, after all.

…right?

“I’m not a monster”, she said to herself, trying to convince herself that she was, in fact, as human as the rest. But that doubt still lingered. Beq Lugg said her soul was the densest soul she’d ever seen. Why would Emet-Selch have bothered if she were simply another “inferior being” as he put it? Where did Azem end and Dia begin? Was there ever truly a Dia? Was she technically Ardbert as well if that were the case? She flung her head into her hands, unsure what to make of any of it.

“You’re going to have to go back, you know.”

Ardbert’s voice rang through her head.

“Oh, what do you know?” she retorted to her eighth part.

“I was there. Whether you like it or not, I do see some things.”

“Try to see less, will you?”

“Would that I could.”

She sighed. “I’m well aware that I need to go back. I’m sure eventually, Aymeric is going to become concerned about how long I’ve been gone, as will the other Scions.”

“So what are we doing here, then?”

“You know what we’re doing here.”

“Ah yes, a completely rational, logical decision that only came after you gave it complete consideration and immeasurable forethought.”

She scowled at his disembodied voice. “Sarcasm is ill-becoming of dead men.”

“Good thing I live in you now. You have enough sass for two.”

She groaned, “What in hells do I tell them?” She put on a very saccharine, pleasant tone. ‘Hey, by the way, I’m eight parts of an amaurotine that was on the same council as Elidibus, Emet-Selch, Lahabrea, and all those lovely other people we’ve met that hurt all of you one way or another. I might have even been best friends with Emet-Selch, but don’t worry, I’m NOT an Ascian. I was one of good ones!’”

“Perfect, you already know your lines.”

“I’m not telling them that! That’s absurd!”

“What’s absurd is crossing time and space to avoid a conversation.”

She threw herself back into the bed and stared at the ceiling. “They hurt so many people, Ardbert. What would they think if I told them I was an ally?”

“I think somehow, they’ll figure out that you are two different people.”

“How can they figure that out when I’m not too sure myself?” Dia asked through tears.

“Simple. They wouldn’t give a damn.”

“How do you know?”

“Azem didn’t join them in summoning Zodiark and you didn’t actively try to kill them.”

Dia stayed silent for a moment. “Are we who we say we are, Ardbert?”

“We need to make a distinction here. I see Azem as a person who lived in the time of the ancients and served in their government. I see an ascian as a back-stabbing piece of amaro shite who serves Zodiark. Now other than that big gaping hole you left in Hades, you’ve never been a backstabber, nor are you amaro shite, and unless there’s been a massive change of heart that I’m unaware of, you definitely do not serve Zodiark. Now what do you think?”

She lied still, trying to take in the feeling of the bright linen beneath her fingers, the solidity of the ground beneath her boots, the smell in the air like fresh laundry and cookies. Slowly, she started pointing out the bricks on the ceiling and counting them. She lost her grip on reality, and Ardbert was helping with her return.

“I think I need to tell Aymeric at least.”

“If it gets us back to the Source, I’m all for it.”

She sat up once again, still barely tethered to her reality. This isn’t the first time she’s had an attack like this. Usually, they’re smaller, and happen when she tries to sleep, the result being nothing more than a simple jolt upward in her bed. When that meant her bed in Dawn’s Respite, she would get up and handle other business as she could to tire herself out. In Borel Manor, it was a much quicker process, in which Aymeric would quickly join her and calm her down, holding her until she fell asleep again.

He didn’t mind because she does the same for him.

As she slowly regained her composure, an incredible wash of embarrassment covered her.

“Did you imagine you’d be dating someone when you joined your soul with mine, Ardbert?”

“The thought crossed my mind. You talked about him endlessly. A man that looks like that? I could certainly think of worse prices to pay in exchange for saving my world.”

Dia chuckled.

“You could do far worse, anyways. I’m glad this Aymeric fellow’s pretty decent.”

“Yeah, me too.”

*********************

The hours had passed. The midday that let the two men enjoy their tea earlier gave way to twilight. Aymeric sat at the settee, doing anything to get his mind off of his missing Dia. Today was an off-day, yet there he sat with paperwork at the coffee table, trying to drown himself under amendments and statutes and arguments for the coming days. It did little to assuage worries, and may have even exacerbated them, but it was something to move his mind away from it.

“THE BLEEDING FIRST!”

The roar of the Azure Dragoon shook the foundation. Aymeric shot up and hurried towards the hall.

“My lord, you have a visitor”, announced the steward in a very tired voice.

“Thank you, Angelbert.” Estinien arrived at the doorway of the parlor.

“SHE WENT THROUGH THE BLEEDING RIFT AND NOW SHE’S IN THE GODSDAMNED FIRST!”

“Estinien, calm down! Where did you hear that?!”

“Tataru called me! Apparently, Hoary had a witness tell him she went east of the aetheryte, and the Sons of Saint Coinach confirmed it!”

Aymeric, stunned by the revelation, moved to sit down.

“You all right?” Estinien checked.

“So she just…left Hydaelyn entirely?”

“From the sounds of it.”

“And…no one else can get her?”

“She’s the only bloody person capable of traveling through the rift unscathed.”

He did nothing. He couldn’t do anything. If he looked at his work anymore, his brain would simply shatter. She went back to the First, of all places. Why the First? Why did she leave? What isn’t she telling him?

As if Halone had heard his thoughts, he heard a door close, and muffled behind the walls were the words, “Ah, there you are!” from the mouth of Angelbert. Footsteps drew closer to their location until finally, her appearance graced the doorway and Dia met her gaze with Aymeric’s.

“YOU!” Estinien shouted with the force of the Fury behind his voice. He marched towards the Warrior of Light and stared her down. “Do you know what kind of trouble you caused?! You made Tataru send out a Scion after you! You made me question all of godsdamn Ishgard before we found out you went off to the First! We couldn’t contact you! What in the seven hells were you thinking?!”

“ESTINIEN!”

Aymeric rarely yelled. Yelling was not his personal go-to outside of the battlefield. In his experience, yelling did nothing but fray emotions further. Sometimes, however, it was necessary.

Particularly now, as he didn’t want his friend screaming in his girlfriend’s face anymore.

Estinien turned around, still a little shocked to hear him yell like that.

“Please go. I wish to have a word alone with her.”

“But—“

“I will take care of this! Leave!”

With a blink, and a scowl towards Dia and her behavior, he eventually stomped off to return to the Rising Stones. Dia turned to Aymeric and asked meekly, “Are you going to yell at me too?”

“No. I will not yell at you.” He kept his voice calm despite a sea of anguish that brewed beneath him.

“Are you sure? You deserve it. I hurt you, didn’t I?”

“Even if I wanted to, where would we be if I hurt you back? All I want is an answer.”

Dia reached into her inventory, and pulled out something that glinted from the light of the fireplace. A small yellow crystal revealed itself in the palm of her hand. She stepped towards him and offered it for his inspection. Curiously, he took it and gave it a look.

“There. That’s what I’ve been hiding. Not even the Scions know what it does. I pray they don’t find out either.”

To him, it felt strange holding the chunk of crystal. There was definitely something strange about it, but he couldn’t pinpoint what. He met her gaze, and asked “Why?”

She sighed, and said, “Aymeric, you know me well enough to understand that trust isn’t easily given by me.” She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to stop herself from losing her tether to reality once more. “I trust you. I wholeheartedly, unambiguously trust you. I tell you this for two reasons: one, because I want to tell you something that I need you to swear you’ll never speak a word of to anyone, not even Estinien.”

He nodded. She took a deep breath.

“That crystal holds my memories as an ancient, as well as a power I once held in that life that helped me escape from Elidibus’ clutches when I fought him.” He shot his gaze back at the crystal, as if it could tell him that she was joking, or lying. It said nothing. He returned his wandering eye back to her.

“Much like Lahabrea, Elidibus, and Emet-Selch, I was a member of their Convocation of Fourteen when I was whole, before that world became fourteen shards. I held the title of Azem.”

Before he could say anything, she had moved on. “Azem opposed the summoning of Zodiark and gave up their seat. Or I did. I think of all the things about this, that’s the worst part. I’m not sure where Azem ends and Dia begins, or if I ever truly was Dia for that matter. At any rate, that means that I once filled their ranks, and the ascians, including the one that corrupted the Archbishop, once considered me a…friend.”

He wasn’t sure what to make of this. He wasn’t sure if he cared. Azem was of a time well before him. Her past life was not what he cared about, but the life that stood before him now. The one to whom he owed so much, to whom everyone in Eorzea owed so much. The one that loved him, the one that he loved.

“That’s…a lot…”

“There’s a second reason I told you that I trust you. And that’s because I just broke your trust, and I’m sorry. I’m very sorry I did. I stupidly thought if you knew, Aymeric, you’d leave, and so would the others. I panicked, and-“

“That’s why.” He interrupted, something rather unlike him, but he felt it was his job to stop spirals before they could begin. “You overheard Estinien, didn’t you? We heard the sound of teleportation in the hall.” She nodded.

“Look, what you once were in millenia past is of no importance to me. You joined ranks with ascians in a time long past, but you are most assuredly not an ascian.” He placed his hands on her shoulders calmly. “You are Dia Sito, no matter what anyone says. You are my partner, you are a scholar, a master culinarian, a weaver with skills second to none, and so much more to so many. You have defined Dia Sito to all of us. None would know of you as Azem, regardless of what you were told on the First. You, Dia Sito, are not an ascian, have not conspired with ascians, and have no plans to serve Zodiark…unless there’s another thing you have refrained from mentioning.”

She let out a laugh through her nose. “No, that’s about it on secrets.”

“Good. Now come, sit down.” He gently kissed her forehead and guided her to the settee with an arm around her shoulder. “I also need you to understand that your past life having engaged with paragons is not sufficient grounds for me to leave. I’m not going anywhere.”

She took a good look at him, and he at her, before the two leaned in for a quick kiss.

“I owe Estinien an apology as well, don’t I?”

“Perhaps, but I believe he owes you one as well. Go at your own pace, Dia.”

“I will. I can’t say I won’t be walking into a death trap the minute I walk into the Rising Stones.”

“You fear Estinien will have a second wind?”

“No, that Tataru will have a first wind.” He chuckled. “Estinien is nothing compared to the wrath of Tataru Taru”, she said, meaning every word behind it.

“I imagine the lot of them might have something to say of this.”

“Yeah, you’re right…” she stood up, “I should probably—“ He grabbed her wrist gently, and told her with a smile, “They can wait.”

“I need to tell at least one of them that I’ve come back.”

“You do have a linkpearl. I would recommend contacting the one least likely to enter into hysterics.”

Alphinaud, she thought.

“Very well.” She sat back down next to him, and placed a hand on her linkpearl.

“This is Alphinaud.”

“Hi, Alphinaud, it’s Dia.”

“Dia! Thank the Twelve! Hoary said you’d run off to the First. What happened? Are you quite all right?”

“Am I alive and kicking? Yes. Am I all right? I’ll need a minute to get back to you on that.”

Alphinaud sighed in relief. That was Dia all right.

“I’m surprised, Alphinaud. Was Estinien not in a tirade upon his return to the Rising Stones?”

“He slammed the door behind him on his way into Dawn’s Respite, but that’s nothing too unusual. We tried to ask him of your return, but he ignored us. Why do you ask?”

“Uh, let’s just say he and I didn’t exactly exchange pleasantries when he saw I came back.”

“Ah.”

“Anyways, I’ll return to explain myself tomorrow. I just wanted to let someone over there know I’m in the Source and in Borel Manor.”

“Mm, I understand why you came to me now. Very well, I shall disseminate word of your arrival to our comrades. Thank you for letting me know.”

“Of course. Thank you for not shouting at me.”

He giggled. “Any time.”

“Good night.”

Little did she know that the minute Alphinaud exclaimed her name, all the Scions except for Estinien gathered to listen to the call.

“I feel better, I think”, Dia told Aymeric.

“Very good”, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“Sorry for ruining your tea.”

“Think nothing of it. We’ll have more where that came from.”

She gave a rather sad smile. “Stop being so good about this. I don’t deserve it.”

“You deserve anything I could ever give. I only wish my love were enough.”

“It’s more than enough, it’s more than I’m even worthy of, my dear.”

For a moment, there was a flash. A black robe covering her arm, a black mask in her hand, and a different room appeared before her. As she turned her head, a familiar face that Dia never met before looked back to her with a wry smile on his face. In that same moment, it returned to the soft and gentle smile of Aymeric de Borel, with blue eyes shimmering as he looked into her soul itself, it seemed. She didn’t even realize until that moment that she clutched Azem’s crystal like her life depended on it. She released it quickly, not wanting it’s influence at that moment.

“I’m so tired”, she said, swallowing tears.

“I know.”

“I don’t want this.”

“I know you don’t.” He reached around her shoulder and pulled her into him.

“I’m so lost”, she said, the tears releasing.

“Then I’ll help you find your way.”

“Can you do that?”

“I’ll be damned if I don’t try.”

She had nothing more to say. Only sobs came from her. Azem weighed too heavy, and she only held eight parts. Dia lost her tether after that flashback. Aymeric had a rope for her to use instead to pull her back. She felt his heartbeat, his breathing, his warmth, the fabric of his shirt, of the settee, then tried to count the symbols that made up his wallpaper through tear-soaked eyes. Slowly, she regained control of her breath, the sobs reigned in, and the tears less poured out and more trickled. It helped that he was there to gently rub her back. It was soothing, to say the least.

“I’m sorry about this.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, my love.”

She took the crystal and placed it on the coffee table to avoid the risk of clutching it once again. Now that he knew, she had no need to hide it on her person.

“May I ask why you carry it then? If it burdens you so, it seems imprudent to keep it on.”

She shook her head. “For whatever feelings I have about the ascians, about the whole of Amaurot…that is a part of me. It feels wrong to keep it away.”

“Such is the burden of knowledge, is it not?”

“Now that it’s there, I can never truly remove it. I would rather try and learn from it as much as I can. I feel I owe it to them.”

“To the ascians?” he asked with an eyebrow raised.

“No, to Amaurot, and to history. I’d be a terrible scholar if I didn’t try.”

He let out a light laugh, and looked to her. “Even the best of scholars need a break from their tomes.”

“I know. So I’ll lay it there for now.” She let out a scoff of her own. “‘Tis strange, I feel as though I might as well have said, ‘I’ll lay my arm here.’”

“It’s that affixed to you?”

“To an extent. That is me after all.”

“In an incredibly detached sense, yes. Mayhap you should leave it alone for a while. Return to it another time.”

She let out a long breath through her nose while she stared at it. Aymeric took the crystal in his hand, feeling the strange sensation once more, and stood up. “If it’s quite all right with you, I’d like to place it in a drawer upstairs. When the time comes that you need it again, you’ll be able to access it with ease.”

As attached to it as she became, he was right. It did no good for her to obsess over it. She nodded, stood up and followed him upstairs.

Everything that made up Azem sat in a drawer in the master bedroom for quite some time. Dia still felt conflict in her soul, but it did much to separate her from further flashbacks and keep her grounded in the world as it is now. Amaurot, the Convocation, the Final Days, they laid idly by as Eorzea, the Scions, the Grand Company of Eorzea, and the looming threat of Fandaniel and his own machinations took priority. Of all times for her to place the crystal aside, it was when the knowledge was needed most. If she didn’t, however, the knowledge threatened to consume her. No, it was for the best. It needed to be away from her ever-growing curiosity.

That is, until the time came that she could no longer sit by in Eorzea. The crystal saw light once more and took it’s place with Dia when the world needed her.