#Nearest Used Car Dealership

[m--rtyr]

idk if its a british thing but its always bothered me a little bit how people use village and town interchangeably in MCD and the fandom lol

they're different things. i get that jesson and most of the fans are American and probably not british/european/from village-inclusive countries but damn

Very different i assure you lol

[rafeandonlyrafe]

i am a rich man

words: 1k

warnings: misogyny, brief mention of violence, reader is a kook

a/n: im on vacation starting tomorrow monday 1/22-friday so i will not be posting any new fics for this week!

“have you decided what car you want baby?” rafe asks, pressing a kiss to your cheek as you scroll through the dealerships website.

“i’ve narrowed it down to two.” you tilt your phone towards rafe, letting him look at one car before navigating to the other tab to show him.

“why don’t you test drive both and decide after that? and if you like both, just buy both.” rafe shrugs. it was weird for him at first being with someone who had even more money than his family, but now he’s grown used to it, liking knowing you can support yourself if needed, even though rafe likes to buy most things for you.

“good point.” you hum. “i’d have to park one on the driveway though, my dad is only giving me one spot in the garage.” you pout. your dad has a mild obsession with sports cars, and therefore three of the four spots in the garage were already taken.

“lets not worry about it now, figure it out after you see them in person.” rafe says, and you nod, getting up off the couch to head to the dealership, glad that rafe agreed to drive you and test the cars with you, mainly because you didn’t want to spend the day without him.

it’s a long drive to the nearest dealership that had cars in your price range, but you don’t mind as you sing along to your favorite songs playing through rafes trucks speakers, always letting you be the dj even if he can’t stand some of the girly pop songs that you play.

“almost there.” rafe reaches over, squeezing your thigh as the dealership finally comes into view.

“thank god.” you groan. “my butt is starting to go numb.” “don’t talk about your butt when we are about to be in public.” rafe warns, glancing over at you as you giggle.

“sorry baby.” you say, in a voice that tells rafe that you’re not at all sorry.

“let me drop you off at the front, i’ll park the car then join you inside.” rafe says upon pulling in and realizing that there are no close parking spots, and he doesn’t want to make you walk outside for longer than he has to.

“mmkay, thanks baby.” you lean over and press a kiss to his cheek, always extra appreciative and lovey on rafe when he does sweet things for you, even if its just something little.

you hop out of the truck, heading inside the main showroom of the dealership.

“hello, ma’am!” a sales associate instantly hurries over to you. “i’m john, did you have an appointment?” “no, but i’ve checked out your inventory online and i know what i’d like to test drive today.” you say with a fake smile right back, already not liking the condescending attitude that john is giving off.

“alright, well lets take a seat at my desk and you can tell me your budget.” john walks you over to his cubicle, and before he can begin talking you’re joined by rafe.

“this is my boyfriend, he’s helping me pick out a car today.” you say as he sits down next to you, reaching over and looping your fingers through his, already eyeing up john as he tries to size him up.

“hello, sir.” john smiles. “so what is your budget?” he addresses the question at rafe, making your eyebrows scrunch together.

“well,” you answer, making johns gaze flick quickly to you, “budget isn’t an issue. i know what two cars i would like to look at.”

“okay, if you just want to tell me the models i will pull them up.” john turns the computer screen so you all can see as you tell him the two cars that peaked your interest the most.

“and i assume you will be financing?” he hums. you glance at rafe, shocked that he would have the audacity to assume anything.

“no.” rafe answers for you. “in full.” “okay, that makes sense that you will be paying, sir.” john says, nonchalantly as if he didn’t just imply that you wouldn’t be able to afford the car.

“as said before, i will be the one purchasing the car, so while my boyfriend is here to help me, i am your customer.” you clear up, hand squeezing rafes as you try to hold back your anger, knowing you can get just as fired up as him.

“sorry, just don’t see many young women being able to buy cars like these outright.” he says before quickly switching the subject, going through some of the specs of the vehicles. “and the cost on that one is $94,000.”

“wait a minute.” you rub your forehead, getting tired of this mans bullshit. “while i said money was no issue, that doesn’t mean that i’m going to let you get away with scamming me. that car is worth no more than 75.” “well, ma’am, there are various-” “no.” you shake your head. “i have done my research on these vehicles and i know that ever 75 is on the high end.” “let me double check my figures.” john swallows nervously, turning the screen so only he can see it as you send a look at rafe, seeing he’s struggling just as much as you not to reach across the desk and smack the misogynistic sales associate across the face.

“my apologies, i must have accidentally selected an additional maintenance package. it is $74,000.” john says.

“that sounds much more reasonable, but i will not be purchasing a car from someone who tries to scam me out of my money just because they think i’m a dumb girl. get me a different sales associate, now.” you command.

john scurries away from the desk, the stark opposite of the cockiness air that he had when you first arrived.

“jesus, you’re hot when you’re scary.” rafe says, looking you up and down as you smirk at your boyfriend, knowing while you’re usually sickly sweet, when a man irks you wrong, it brings out your full wrath.

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[octuscle]

Welcome to Overland!

Overland Park in Kansas. I really had to google it first. Where the hell did my father get the idea that I would really study here? I mean, I have offers from Stanford and Cambridge. I'm not going to Overland Park. Kansas! Sure, it might have been a good fit for my dad. My dad is the prototypical corn-fed athlete. He looks dazzling for his 42 years, still a cross so wide that my two younger brothers and I can hide behind it. His mullet is a bit of a show-off, if you ask me. But he seems to go down well with his customers. His car dealership is the biggest in the state. My two younger brothers both have petrol in their blood. They both want to get their MBAs at Overland Park. But I'm much more interested in law. And Harvard would be my dream for that.

Anyway, my father gave me a car for my 18th birthday. A super impractical Dodge RAM. Doesn't suit me at all. And the car came with a gas voucher and a voucher for a mall around the corner. Well, I hope they'll have a Brooks Brothers store. But I'm quietly guessing that they'll only have cowboy boots and plaid shirts… Okay, not to be ungrateful, I'm making the trip to Overland Park in the monster car. I'll also attend his alma mater's orientation event if I absolutely have to. But I'll sign up over my dead body!

The drive to Kansas wasn't so bad. I admit that the car is really huge and comfortable. But the closer I got to the Midwest, the less comfortable I felt. Guys with arms thicker than my legs asked me about the car at gas stations and rest stops. I have no idea how much horsepower it has… I'm not interested either. But here you're obviously only defined by your car. And most of the muscular rednecks here made no secret of the fact that they didn't begrudge me this car. It got even worse when I parked the car in front of the hotel in Overland Park… The valet service looked almost sympathetic when I got out of the car. Tomorrow I'd better take the bus to the information day at the university.

It's incredible how many people are interested in this pathetic campus. It's pretty full in the auditorium. The dean gives a speech that is as boring as the landscape here. And the faculty members either all look like they're coaches of the football team or gardeners on campus. Hillbillies. All of them! The professors introducing each faculty call on the potential juniors who have signed up on the list for that faculty. I didn't put a cross anywhere. All uninteresting for me. And so the auditorium empties out with each professor dragging a train of high school seniors behind him. And at some point, the auditorium is empty. Only three people are still sitting here. A redhead who spends the whole time reading a book. A skinny guy playing with his cell phone and me. I speak to the skinny guy. "No desire to go to Overland Park either?" "Not on your life. I'm not studying thousands of miles from the nearest decent opera." The redhead interjects, "And pretty much everything else you'd call civilization." We laugh and introduce ourselves. Erik, the redhead (how appropriate, I'm not joking), the skinny one is Brayden and I'm Callan. We start talking. Somehow we all have a similar fate. Either our fathers or our brothers studied here. We all have more artistic than sporting interests. We all want to study either in California or New England. Erik suggests that we go out and sit on campus. The weather is nice. It's a good idea. We're sitting in the sun talking when we suddenly hear a voice.

"Hey squad! Finally found you, fam! I've been straight up grinding and hunting all over this place to link up with my homies!" Towards us comes the epitome of everything I loathe about university. An unkempt muscleman, his greasy mullet tamed with a baseball cap on backwards, in a sweaty tank top. Four bottles of beer in his hand. He hands each of us a bottle and says "Yo, yo, yo, what up fam! The name's Ryder, my professor homie spilled the tea that there are three total bros up in here who ain't about that study life, and guess what? Yours truly got the task of keepin' it real with y'all. Haha, I'm the king of slacking off, ain't nobody got time for studying and whatnot. Let's kick back and chill, my dudes!" Ryder stinks of sweat. Disgusting. But somehow also hypnotizing. He opens his bottle and says "Cheers". As if in a trance, we open our bottles and say "cheers".

"Yo, fam, check it out, I'm gonna give you a lit tour of the campus, but not that lame-o typical stuff. Like, forget about the snooze-fest library or whatever. Bro, regular dudes walk in there and walk out looking like they just stepped out of a nerd convention with their thick glasses and wack sweaters. Let's bounce and hit up the real vibes, ya feel me?" Ryder almost chokes with laughter at his own joke, which Erik counters with a fist bump. What the…? "Yo, peep that cafeteria comin' up! It's legit crucial for gettin' in that dank protein intake, ya feel me? And bro, protein is like, the holy grail of gainz. That's the fuel for them epic protein farts, man! Rock on, get that fuel, unleash the beast!" As if on cue, he lets out a fart. Shit, that stinks. Erik laughs. And farts too. Shit, didn't he actually want to study piano? At the conservatory in Boston? Strange behavior for a pianist….

Ryder tells us to wait a minute. He runs into the cafeteria and comes back with four fresh cold bottles of beer. Shit, yes, the beer tastes good. I take a deep swig. And…. BUUUUURP! Ryder and Erik are laughing uproariously. Brayden looks irritated. And I reply ""Yo, it's gonna be, like, forever until those protein farts are unleashed. So, a real dude just gotta let out a mega burp, bro!" Erik and Ryder give me a high five. And Ryder says that he's about to lead us to the source of all protein farts.

You can smell the gym changing rooms before you see them. Erik and I take a deep breath. Brayden holds the sleeve of his jacket in front of his nose. "Yo, bro, it looks like we're getting closer to your second home, huh, Ryder? Watch out for the vibes!" says Erik. Ryder does a double bicep pose and says that Erik can fucking take it. Poor Brayden is standing right next to Ryder. His nose is basically right in the sweaty bush in Ryder's armpit. "Dang, I forgot my gear for the gym! I'm totally itching to pump some iron, man." comes out of his mouth. "Dude, no worries, at our next stop we'll totally score something way cooler for you to rock." says Ryder. "Yo, dude, spit it again - what's your name, pumpin' pal?" Braydon copies Ryder's double bicep pose. I didn't think he had muscles like that. "Yo, my dudes, I'm Beau, like, duh, isn't it obvious? I mean, come on, who else could it be, right? Beau in the hizzouse, representin' like a boss!" The two of them do a chest bump. Erik and I actually look at each other a little enviously. I mean, everyone wants to be best mates with Ryder, the hottest guy on campus.

"Yo, dudes, head to the most lit spot on the whole campus. And watch out! If you think it already smells like sweat and musk, you haven't seen anything yet!" We walk across the student parking lot towards the football field. Past my baby. Ryder raises his eyebrows appreciatively and says that you rarely see cars this cool here. I pose proudly: "Geez, check out this 410 horsepower beast with eight cylinders and 581 Newton meters of torque! My 6.7-liter monster needs that kind of power too. Rocking full leather interior, a massive 12-inch touchscreen infotainment system, and a killer 750-watt sound system with 17 Harman Kardon speakers. Damn, could never roll in a hybrid after this!" Ryder gives me a chest bump too. Shit, I'm in the club!

Erik thaws out when we're finally in the changing rooms of the football stadium. He takes a deep breath. "Yo, peeps! You feelin' me on this? This smell is like pure home vibes, amirite?" he says. Ryder points to the pile of dirty laundry in the corner. "Yo, dudes, wanna toss some balls around? Let's get our sporty vibes on and slay the game with our rad skills! Let's flex our muscles and show off our mad throwing game. Let's get that adrenaline pumping and have a blast on the field. It's gonna be lit, so don't miss out, fam! Let's do this!" He really doesn't have to say that twice. In no time at all, we're undressed and rummaging naked through our clothes for something to pass. Erik deliberately lets his cock swing for a very long time before putting it into an XXL urine and cum yellow jockstrap. Dude, that boy would make horses jealous! And he can impress Ryder. Out onto the pitch and with a well-directed throw he chases the ball the length of the pitch through the goal. Four-chest bump! Shit, we all can't wait to play for the college team!

"Yo homies, any more burning questions for your boy? The sickest crew on campus is definitely mine - Alpha Phi Alpha, baby! Don't stress, you guys are total Alpha bros, so of course you'll get in. If you're down, we're throwing a lit party at the frat house tonight. Crash on the couch if you want, solo, duo, trio… whatever floats your boat. Just remember, never make eye contact, that's like, no homo!" Beau asks where he can get a cold beer now. Rick has a mega boner. And I can't wait to suck him off right away. Unless Ryder beats me to it. Shit, I'm so proud to be a business major at the University of Kansas on the Overland campus. My dad will be even prouder.

"Yo, so you wanna join the sickest crew of all the raddest universities in the damn USA?" I love the information days on campus. Lots of hot fresh meat. And the premium meat belongs to Alpha Phi Alpha, just like us! "Yo, peep this dude with the sickest Mullet ever, that's my bro Beau. And check out the fiery buff dude over there, that's Rick, the top quarterback of the football squad for real. I'm Cletus, and we 'bout to show y'all the raddest spots on campus. But first, in honor of the hottest dude to ever grace this campus, let's crack open a cold one." We take a big sip. And burp "Ryder" loudly!

[eightysixed]

surprise! new car

After they moved to the Valley, being carless became impossible. In Silverlake it was somewhat doable, walking the twenty minutes from Joe's or anywhere they needed, but their new place was so far from everything, commuting became impossible. Almost a month of that and Tyson caved and bought the first car he found at the local used car dealership: a bug green 2011 Ford Fiesta SES with dents on the side and one of the mirrors missing, but it was cheap. Less than $1,100 and it was theirs. Tyson would soon come to regret that decision as the piece of shit would break down more than his old car, which he almost began to miss in the light of this new dumbfuck. Every week it was something. One time, it got stuck on the highway and he ended up having to push it, with Sasha at the wheel, all the way to the nearest auto shop. That had been the deciding factor. He started up saving.

And save he did. He wasn't ultra smart about it, because their credit wasn't great. But he decided he'd fucking do it, with loans from here and there, their personal bank of friends instead of the actual bank. They deserved a good car. It wasn't a luxury in a place like Los Angeles. It was a necessity. A part of him, for all of a moment, felt bad for making such a big decision all on his own, without Sasha's input, but he wanted it to be a big surprise. If she didn't like it, he'd take it back to the shop and get another. That's how much he cared for her opinion and happiness and hell, half the reason he was doing it was for her. It was their car. But he believed he found the right one. Something about it had just felt right when he jumped in for a test drive.

He came early, a quarter to six, fifteen more minutes until Sasha could clock out — Allen, their manager, was strict as shit about these kinds of things. He parked and got out, and once he was inside he scanned the place for sign of his wife. She was manning the deli, and a big, wide grin settled on his features as soon as he saw her. He didn't make his way toward her though, since there were still customers. Just gave a little wave and then hung back by some other aisles.

"Oh, hey," he was greeted by Zack stocking up. "What's good, man?" Tyson smiled and nodded, "Nothin' much. Picking Sasha up." He and Zack were alike in many ways, down to the tattoos. In fact, newer coworkers asked if they were brothers sometimes. The only things that separated them was Zack being much younger and a not very tall 5 foot 8. Other than that though, it was uncanny. "You got your request for tomorrow off by the way. I'm filling in."

"What, for real? Sick." Tyson's face brightened, this was good news indeed. He had wanted the day off to do things with Sasha. It had been a minute since they'd both had one off. He hadn't been banking on getting it, but now he was extra happy. "Yeah," Zack replied. "I'm trading you for next Friday. Cuz you know, that's the day."

Tyson looked confused, but then quickly got it and nodded. "Oh yeah. That's sick. You gonna show her around LA? Show her the sign?" Every now and then, he would poke his head from out the aisle and look at Sasha, anxious for the minutes to tick down and make it six already.

[mazdakeyreplacement1]

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[oh-yeah-just-watch-me]

Check in for the day~ (5.12.24)

Woke up, did the yoojsh (30 minute HIIT workout. Cup of no fat plain Greek yogurt and a square of 95% dark chocolate). I went over to D’s house and woke him up so we could get ready for our mindfulness/self improvement meeting (it’s on Sunday at 9:30 and there’s always like 100 people there.)

After that we went to a place that was a little out of the way by like 45 minutes or an hour or so that D has been wanting to go to for about few weeks now. It’s a historic little hideaway with a bunch of local businesses. Like a real whimsical and quirky place. First D went to a store that specialized in Turkish glass chandeliers and lamps. He bought a lamp and some fresh homemade baklava. He let me choose the lamp! We went into a few other stores like this one bath goods store and he bought me some homemade bath bombs and a cute little Hello Kitty rubber ducks XD.

I started to feel a little under the weather and figured food would help so we ate at the cozy little tapas restaurant which was AMAZING! It was a small little place with only 4 tables so we had to sit at the bar (because we had not made reservations and it was Mother’s Day, I was surprised they even had that available) but the own himself was the one to take our order and serve us. I will post the pictures later. I still was feeling a bit not good after the meal (I am supposed to be starting my period tomorrow) so we decided to head back.

On the way back I had D stop by a field to check out some flowers, and lo and behold I found a Cara Cara!! An injured one. Luckily we were in a loaner car while D’s was at the dealership because our feathered friend relieved himself in our back seat.

We drove him about 30 minutes back to the nearest wildlife rehabilitation center and said our goodbyes and drove home.

I took a 45 minute nap in the guest room and D did some work down in the office. I took a soak in his huge tub while he made homemade cheese burgers. I’m about to eat, I’ll probably head back home in about an hour.

[ifiamhumaniamperfect]

i fucked my car up after running over a mattress on purpose so it was time to get a new car i traveled 7 miles by foot to the nearest dealership and walked my white ass up to the counter and asked for their best deal they took one look at me and knew that i was full of shit instantly that i was not to be taken seriously as a customer but it seemed they were still willing to hook me up now i trusted them because the guys who worked there were all jocks like me and if you are a nerd that's just something you'll never understand they blindfolded me and drove me someplace for twenty minutes then told me to get the fuck out of the car they coaxed me deep into a wooded area by jabbing me with a spike even though i was fine to just keep walking without the spike they took off my blindfold and i saw the worst car i could have possibly imagined it was all fucked up there were no windows smelled like poison and it was covered in pictures of mutilated fetuses because it was once used at abortion protests or something but other than all of that it was pretty good the dealers made me sign some papers and cut off one of my ears and i was good to go i thrusted my feet through the floor of the vehicle and started her up by running my legs like fred flintstone it was instantly clear to me that i had been fooled into purchasing a fucking caveman's car

There are so many words in this that I do not understand. And I do not think I could process what most of them mean right now. So I will only ask about one of them. What is a mattress. Why would you 'run it over' with a car.

[ohblackdiamond]

black and gold (kiss/endgame crossover, part 18 of ?)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16 | part 17 | part 18

Prequel to “the end of the world tour.” Four ex-bandmates and even-more-ex-superheroes reunite in the aftermath of Thanos’ snap, and attempt to adjust.

In this chapter: “I’m Gene. This is Paul. You feel like taking a couple Jews out of the wilderness, Moses?” Paul and Gene bum a ride on their journey to Peter's house, and Paul faces an uncomfortable conversation with Ace and a worrisome dream.

Paul sang himself completely hoarse. Kept on like it was a setlist. “Get Off of My Cloud.” “Come a Little Bit Closer.” “Bus Stop.” “Daydream.” “Maggie May.” “Friday on My Mind.” Gene was surprised he didn’t try for any Beatles songs, but maybe those were just too stark a reminder.

“‘I’m gonna have fun in the city, I’ll be with my girl, she’s so pretty…’”

“Paul, you’re gonna kill your voice.”

“I did that a long time ago.” He was already barely able to speak, that reedy, cracked quality to his voice even worse than normal. Gene thought back, unwillingly, to all those times thirty-odd years ago, hearing Paul belt out annoying warm-ups in the dressing room. How much he’d wished Paul would just shut the fuck up back then. The reality of having had to witness his decline was so much worse. “It’s okay.”

But he did stop after that. The rest of the walk to the gas station, Gene tried to fill with conversation and comments that Paul mostly only nodded or shook his head at. He could only get out a few short, raspy responses every so often. Gene felt more grounded now. More able. Paul had propped him up. Made him stable again.

He expected to spend hours waiting at the gas station, leaning heavily against an old payphone, watching the cars fill up and drive away. There was no real food inside the station itself, unsurprisingly, and so he finished off one of the lunches as he stood there. His legs and right arm were already painfully sore. He’d barely be able to move tomorrow morning; he knew it. Paul hadn’t really complained, but Gene had caught him rubbing his arm and shoulder off and on the times they’d stopped to rest. Paul was sitting down in front of the payphone, legs crossed, one arm around his luggage. He was smiling at every single car that pulled up, every person that got out to get gas, like he thought it was ’78. He was still barely able to talk, so Gene was doing that for him, a dozen of the same lines, like a preacher’s tract. Excuse-me. We-need-a-ride. Just-to-the-nearest-car-dealership. We’ll-pay-you. Nothing but stares and headshakes. It was getting closer to dark before they ever got a nod.

“Sure.” It was a kid. Maybe Nick’s age at best, but no older. His hair was in a bushy Afro. Gene’s gaze dove down to his worn-out sneakers, then over to his car, a puke-green Celica with the paint wearing off the hood. “How much?”

“Two hundred.” Then, quickly-- “I’ll… I’ll have a check sent after, too.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“It’s gotta be an open dealership,” Gene added. “Don’t screw us over here.”

“I’m not screwing you over.” The kid stuck out his hand. Gene took it. “I’m Moses.”

“I’m Gene. This is Paul. You feel like taking a couple Jews out of the wilderness, Moses?”

“You got some definition of wilderness, man. Get in.”

Gene was more nervous than he wanted to let on as they climbed inside. If Moses did strand them somewhere, even in the car lot, they’d probably still be able to regroup from there. It would just take awhile. The big problems were going to be if they-- 

“You got a place for a charger?” Paul had read his mind. Paul’s voice sounded like two pieces of sandpaper getting rubbed together. He could tell that the kid hadn’t even understood what Paul had said. 

“Charger?” Gene repeated for him, and Moses waved vaguely at the Frankensteined plug set-ups below the radio. There was an iphone charger already there--  Paul reached over from his seat in the back to plug Gene’s phone in. One thing down.

“Where are you headed, anyway?”

“Connecticut.”

Moses whistled. He turned on the radio, turned on his own phone, googling around for dealerships, before pulling out of the gas station. 

It was a mostly-silent trip. The radio reports were the only interruption. The military had been deployed to help with relief efforts and what the report kindly termed as deescalations. Most, if not all, major cities were being razed and looted. They were going to put price ceilings on gas. Gene remembered what Paul had said about seventies inflation, way back in Maury and Charlotte’s RV, and swallowed thickly.

“I thought Hurricane Katrina was bad,” Moses finally said, changing the station. “I didn’t know what bad was, huh?”

“You must’ve been a kid then.”

Moses shrugged and didn’t elaborate. It was two hours before he managed to pull into an open dealership. The place looked crummy, nothing like the dealership Paul and Gene had stepped into just a few days ago, to take the lunches from-- but the lights were on inside, and there were a handful of vehicles in the lot.

“We’ve got it from here,” Gene assured, digging in his wallet. Paul unplugged the phone. “Thanks. Gimme your address for the rest.”

“I don’t need the rest.” Moses said, pocketing the two hundred.

“You sure? Kid, I saw apples go for ten bucks apiece. I wouldn’t turn down--”

“I don’t wanna do that to you.”

“But--”

“I know who you are, man. I can’t charge you extra. It’d be like charging Superman for a taxi.” Moses’ expression was distant. “Nah, you go ahead.”

“Thank you.”

“Be real careful, okay? You’re only halfway there.”

-- 

Hey, Ace

Ace: Gene?

No this is Paul. Sorry

Ace: What did you do about the car?

We left it. We bought another one

Ace: How much?

Eighty grand.

Ace: What is it?

A pickup truck

Ace: Are you fucking kidding

No

Ace: What year is it

1988

Manual transmission too

Ace: Jesus Christ you got fucked over which one of you paid for it

Gene did

Ace: Didn’t you try to haggle?

It was the only one left in the lot

Ace:  Jesus Christ. Can Gene drive a manual

What do you think

Ace: You screwed yourselves over, you got shitty gas mileage now

Ace, shut up.

Ace: Eighty grand is a down payment on a Bentley

Ace, shut the fuck up

Ace: Paul seriously let me talk to you. I’m calling now

Against his better judgment, Paul answered the phone. His voice was cracking on every third word, and his throat felt like it was on fire. None of that was new to him-- none of that had been new to him in years after overextending himself-- but it just felt worse now, that was all. He didn’t regret singing for Gene at all; he just hated what he was contending with in the aftermath. And he hated, too, the worry that he’d just wrecked himself even further past repair than before. 

“Ace, I really don’t wanna hear it–”

“You sound like shit,” Ace said shortly. “What happened?”

Paul cleared his throat. It didn’t help at all.

“I might’ve performed.”

“For who?” Ace paused, not waiting on Paul to respond before changing tacks. “Look, that truck’s just gonna slow you down. If Gene can’t drive a manual–”

“Gene can barely drive an automatic.”

“--then the whole damn trip is up to you.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“You’re gonna have a real bad time. I… look, man, I’d try and meet you part of the way over, but I don’t think I can.”

Paul couldn’t really blame him at all. He asked anyway.

“Why not?”

“People are raiding houses. Anyplace you leave behind, even for a little while, you come back and it’s completely ransacked if you’re lucky. Squatters if you’re not.” Ace exhaled. “I don’t want to leave Peter here alone. He’s doing really bad, Paul.”

“Nobody’s doing really good right now.”

“Don’t strain yourself. You sound fucking awful. Gene around?”

“He’s asleep.”

“How’re you for food?”

Telling him not to strain himself, then asking him questions. Paul let out a long breath.

“I think we can make it.”

“You’re pretty damn skinny as it is,” Ace pointed out dryly. “Gene can’t lend you twenty pounds, y’know.”

“We’ll make it.”

“Yeah. I know you will. Still nothing on reaching out to the fans, huh?”

“I wanted to, Gene didn’t. We-- did it on accident anyway.”

“Okay. Hey, Paul?”

“Yeah?”

“You are feeling it, aren’t you? You gotta be. I am. Peter is, I know Peter is--” 

That again. Just when he’d hoped that Ace had let up, that their argument the other day had proved something to him. Apparently not. Apparently Ace was as determined as everyone else to try and resurrect the past.

“Ace, I gotta go. I’ll text you tomorrow.” Paul hung up, plugging up the phone as if it mattered when the truck engine wasn’t running. He’d been well enough aware of the hustling they’d contended with when buying the truck before Ace had bitched him out about it, but it did have one of those cigarette lighter adapters like the one Moses had. And it was red. And it had custom leather seats. And, most importantly, it had been their only option. It had turned out that it was the only automobile in the lot left that hadn’t been vandalized beyond driveability or stolen.

It had been a long time since eighty grand had been a whole lot of money to him, compared to his net worth, but after he hit about thirty or so, unnecessary expenses started to agitate him. Okay, no, twenty-eight was when it first started to bother him, when he’d originally been stuck paying Peter a twenty-five percent cut from a band he was no longer in. It had taken nearly ten years to buy that bastard out of the only smart decision he’d ever made. Thinking about it still burned him up. Peter staying rich off of the sweat of his and Gene’s brows. Only a couple years after he’d been bought out of KISS’ dwindling profits, Peter’d been high and dry.

(paul doesn’t want to talk to me)

Peter was right. Paul never did want to talk to Peter. He didn’t know what he’d say to him once they finally got over there. Paul had not had a resentment-free conversation with Peter since the seventies. Peter was borderline illiterate, a high-school dropout, a guy who’d been living off his wife and fooling around in lousy garage bands before KISS. Peter had always ruined everything. If not for him-- 

If not for him-- 

No. No, he couldn’t think like that right now. Ace couldn’t get him started on that path. He was only thinking this way anyway because of Ace, and because thinking of Peter was easier than thinking of himself and the raspy whisper currently constituting his voice. Already-charted territory, decades of it. And even that was easier, far easier, than thinking of his wife, his children, his sister.

All of whom he could only think about because of Gene. He’d never stop owing Gene. For saving him. For continuing to save him, even though he wasn’t worth it. Even though he was a petty bastard at best. He had only been any good to Gene just lately. Only been able to sing Gene a couple songs. It was the smallest of repayments for his life.

He reclined his seat as much as he could, and closed his eyes, the sound of Gene’s breathing eventually lulling him to sleep.

--

Paul dreamed most nights. He tended to take sleep aids, a profoundly bad habit that had started way back when KISS had shifted from tour buses to flights. Generally, he went with melatonin when he was trying to wean himself off prescription stuff-- but even now, without them, he’d dream. The old standards. Tests for classes he’d never taken. His teeth falling out of his head, or crunching to pieces as he spoke.

That night, he dreamed of her. 

She always looked the same. Long, stick-straight blonde hair, bony wrists, large blue eyes. He had met her in 1972, on the T.V. in his parents’ apartment. A Vitalis commercial. In five years, he’d have her; in six years, she’d be gone. The first real loss of his life. She hadn’t even had a funeral; the rabbi had refused to complete the rites for a suicide.

She always looked the same; he was always his own age, even in dreams. He used to hate that, the way she was always frozen in time while he shifted so profoundly past her. But now it was almost a comfort. The world could be destroyed and she would stay the way he remembered her.

Maybe it was shameful, dreaming of her now. Maybe he’d just kept her in his head because she had died so young, tugging her out of his own subconscious like some sort of symbol to soothe him at all the worst points of his life. Like Paul McCartney’s Mother Mary. That had been Hilsen’s suggestion over the years. But Paul didn’t quite believe that. He had never quite believed that at all.

Now she was sitting next to him in jeans and a sweater, in the bed of their new truck, and he reached for her with weathered, sinewy arms and trembling hands. I’m ninety-three and you’re sixteen, he thought, so briefly. The fucked-up line he’d added to Gene’s longing little ballad. I’m sixty-two and you’re twenty-nine. 

She didn’t reach for him, though his arms wrapped around her, though his head pressed against her shoulder. She never did. 

“There’s a ring for you, if you want it, Paul.”

“A ring?” He sounded better than he had in years. Sounded better, but didn’t look better. He let go of her. He looked at his fingers-- then he looked at hers, both bare. “I don’t understand.”

“A ring. A call. There’s a call if you want it.”

She’d never said that before. Paul wracked his brain, suddenly desperate.

“Do you want me to come back? I can’t. I can’t come with you. Not yet. I will but not yet. Y-you know that, right?”

“There’s a call if you want it.”

“What call?” 

“You have to want it. It’ll be there for you if you want it.”

“What call? What’s there for me? Victoria, tell me, please–”

He woke in a cold sweat, breathing hard. Checked for messages on Gene’s phone. Nothing. Nothing at all.

[c3po]

i fuckef my car up after running over a mattress on purpose so it was time to get a new car i walked 7 miles to the nearest dealership and i walked my white ass up to the counter and asked for their best deal they knew that i was full of shit instantly that i was not to be taken seriously but they still agreed to hook me up they took me out into the woods jabbing me with a spike even tho i was fine to just keep walking without the spike kind of forgot the words a bit were at the car now carrying on it looked like dhit it smelled like pohson and it was covered in pictures of aborted fetuses bc i guess it was used at an abortion protest or smthng the dealers made me sign some papers and cut off one of my ears and i was good to go i took off by thrusting my legs thru the floor and running like fled flindtone and it was then i realised i’d been tricked into buying a fucking caveman’s car

[skenpiel]

i fucked my car up after running over a mattress on purpose so it was time to get a new car i traveled 7 miles by foot to the nearest dealership and walked my white ass up to the counter and asked for their best deal they took 1 look at me and knew that i was full of shit instantly that i was not to be taken seriously as a customer but it seemed they were still willing to hook me up and i trusted them because the guys who worked there were all jocks like me and if you are a nerd then thats just something youll never understand they blindfolded me and drove me someplace for twenty minutes then told me to get the fuck out of the car they coaxed me deep into a wooded area by jabbing me with a spike even though i was fine to just keep walking without the spike they took off my blindfold and i saw the worst car i could have possibly imagined it was all fucked up there were no windows it smelled like poison and it was covered in pictures of mutilated fetuses because it was once used at abortion protests or something but other than all of that it was pretty good the dealers made me sign some papers and cut off one of my ears and i was good to go i thrusted my feet through the floor of the vehicle and started her up by running my legs like fred flintstone it was instantly clear to me that i had been fooled into purchasing a fucking cavemans car

[mazdakeyreplacementsanant]

Mazda Key Replacement San Antonio, TX

Mazda Key Replacement 

210-617-3850

Mazda Key Replacement San Antonio, TX

It is always surprising and frustrating when your car keys break down, or the chip keys suddenly stop working! However, when this happens, you must call Mazda Key Replacement San Antonio, TX, and they will give you the aid you need on the spot and at affordable prices. Call our San Antonio, TX experts today! 

Cheap Mazda Key Replacement

Nowadays, car key replacement has become very common in San Antonio, TX, as most cars have keyless access than those that come with traditional locks. However, this modern technology works with a battery, which means that sooner or later it will give you problems while opening & turning on your Mazda car daily. Luckily, Mazda Key Replacement San Antonio, TX techs are aware of this & are always ready to bring your car back on the road. You can count on our experts if you need to replace your current car key or have a broken key. They can give you the service that you need on the spot 24/7, and at cheap costs.

Mobile Mazda Car Key Techs

Losing your Mazda car keys or suddenly being stopped is an issue that requires professionalism. You can go to a trustworthy locksmith service like Mazda Key Replacement in San Antonio, TX because they will get you out of any trouble with your car key programming & car key cutting at reasonable prices; contact us today. To make a duplicate key for your lost car key, there is no need to deal with the nearest dealership as long as you have our experts. Regardless of your car make, or model, our San Antonio, TX experts got all your needs. When you need someone to come & make you a new car key at a reasonable price, all you should do is give our mobile techs a call!

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7010 W Loop 1604 N, San Antonio, tx,78254

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locksmiths, emergency locksmith, locks rekey, key replacement.

change locks, car keys, car lockout, transponder keys.

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[abstractpenny]

Recently, they demolished the only mall in our area and are replacing it with a Target and packed, overpriced "housing". The nearest mall is around 2 hours away now. We DO NOT live in a small or unpopulated area. Not only is it awful for our economy and small businesses (which I won't even start on), it's terrible for teenagers.

There's three primary factors to this: Money and inflation, lacking of third spaces, and parents who don't permit their kids freedom.

Before I say anything. I'm probably one of the best people to talk about this. I just finished my freshman year of highschool and am 15. Too young to drive, but old enough to have a phone. I'm too young to get a proper job, but I'm friends with adults who can drive. (They're not pedos, just seniors lol).

There is NOWHERE to hang out in our area. I live in a big valley with a lot of towns that vary in size. The main city had a mall. It was one of the only place to hang out other than a couple of movie theaters that often play low quality or knockoff movies (or the megaplex which is expensive.

Speaking of expensive, even if we still had the mall, it was unbelievably overpriced and inflated. Ten US dollars would get you nowhere. That's an hour of work for me (yes I work, yes it's complicated, yes it's ten times more difficult cuz I'm under 16). An hour of work for a hamburger, drink, and fries. An hour of work for a shitty shirt that rips immediately. An hour of work for almost nothing. The mall is expensive, yes, but everything in general is expensive.

Expensive things make it so difficult to exist in third spaces. You can't go to the park or you'll get the cops called on you. Can't go to the library because you're too loud. Can't go to the store because it's too expensive. Can't go to lunch because it's also too expensive. Can't go to your friend's house because you're not wanted there. Guess where my friends and I hung out this last school year? SCHOOL AND WORK!!!! WOOHOO!!!!! NO FUN PLACES LIKE A MALL, JUST SCHOOL AND WORK!!!!!

Oh, yeah, and the parental permission part of it. Kids can't drive, right. Preteens and early teens too. We can't drive. We can't transport ourselves. So our options are public transport, walking/biking, or getting someone to drive us.

Public transport is out because of pedophiles and human trackers obviously, walking and biking is out because nothing in the USA is made to transport pedestrians outside of cars, and having someone drive you is rude, annoying, or (if your friends are driving) unreliable and unsafe.

And there's truth in a lot of this stuff. It's just not all true all the time. And nothing's changed too much from when my Gen X parents were young. They just have access to the Internet and more unfiltered stories (true and fake).

It's just so difficult to hang out in person with people now. There's nowhere to go that's free or cheap, and even if you can find something, people either don't want you there because you're teenagers who are loud and dangerous or your parents say no to that place or to getting you there. I wish they'd replace the (literal actual) 20 car dealerships in our valley with somewhere teenagers can actually be.

I think the only places I can think of are places MADE with teens in mind. There's a small boba shop (THAT USED TO BE IN THE MALL UGHHHH THEY ALMOST WENT OUT OF BUSINESS) that hangs up fanart from teens. There's a soda shop with couches and cool plants. There's a small sushi shop located inside our local marketplace with five dollar Fridays.

I love these places and the people who run them so much. It sucks because they tend to be expensive and only one of them is in walking distance (40 minute walk round trip from my school, more than an hour walk from my house). But it's so wonderful to find these hole in the wall and uncommonly populated areas.

It's awful how much business is forced towards Walmart and McDonalds and Wendy's and other giant megacorporation chain businesses like them. They're low quality and unfriendly. I hate going to those places as a teen, but they're some of the only places when we're tired of boba and sushi and soda.

I hate it all I just want somewhere to go celebrate with my friends after graduation where we won't get harassed or shunned. I want somewhere to go with my mentor who's like my brother after a rough day at school or work. I want somewhere to go with my sister in those days where time doesn't exist and the sun is happy with us. I want somewhere to go with someone who may or may not become more than a friend. I want somewhere to go to spoil myself when I don't feel good enough for people.

I just want a place to be.

I'm tired of money and transportation and business size and if I'm welcome and all of that. I just want to exist offline.

But my phone is the safest place for me to be and I hate it.

[subramanianbalaji]

Finding a Morris Garage Showroom near Me: A Comprehensive Guide

Morris Garages (MG) represents a cornerstone of modern car manufacturing excellence in innovation combined with design while offering exceptional driving performance. To start your journey through MG’s exceptional range of vehicles you should locate the nearest Morris Garage showroom. This blog serves as your guide to discover why MG showrooms deserve attention allowing you to understand show expectations and teaches you to locate a showroom near you.

Why Visit a Morris Garage Showroom?

According to Morris Garage store standards every visit reflects a comprehensive brand immersion beyond automated sales antennas. Here are some compelling reasons to visit an MG showroom:

Explore Cutting-Edge Models: In MG showrooms diverse customers can discover both the full-feature model MG Hector and the environmentally responsible MG ZS EV among other vehicles.

Hands-On Experience: MG showrooms let you examine their cars up close with opportunities to explore interiors and test drive them. Explore MG vehicle interiors as you study their available technology before experiencing the seat of a test drive.

Expert Guidance: Staff who received exclusive training at MG are available for answering questions while offering product recommendations and car buying guidance.

After-Sales Support: Customers enjoy a complete service by visiting MG showrooms since these venues host full-service maintenance and repair centres next door.

What to Expect at a Morris Garage Showroom

When you visit a Morris Garage showroom near you, here’s what you can look forward to:

State-of-the-Art Facilities: The design of MG showrooms features premium quality with contemporary design elements together with roomy spaces for vehicle displays corresponding to each model.

Vehicle Showcase: All MG products including SUVs and EVs display comprehensive information about each model’s specifications and pricing and features.

Test Drives: The majority of MG showrooms provides test drives so clients can engage directly with vehicles they want to purchase to verify both performance abilities and comfort features.

Customization Options: Personalize your MG vehicle through its selection of different trims, numerous colours and multiple accessory choices.

Finance and Insurance Assistance: Learn how to choose available financing solutions along with suitable EMI alternatives and insurance products that streamline your buying process.

Discover the closest Morris Garage outlet through several simple methods presented below.

You can find MG showrooms near your location faster than any other time before. Here are a few tips:

Use the MG Motor Website: The "Locate a Dealer" feature on MG Motor’s official website lets shoppers discover nearby dealerships. Type your address or pin code into our search tool to find the closest showroom location.

Google Search: When you search online for Morris Garage showroom near me you will find local listing details with contact information and direct path guides.

MG App: The MG app for Android or iOS helps you find showrooms and arrange both test drives and service appointments.

Local Directories: Your nearest MG showroom will appear in the listings section of automobile magazines and regional business directories.

Why MG is Worth Considering

Morris Garages gains recognition from customers by delivering exceptional quality while promoting innovation throughout all its operations. A unique vehicle exists at MG for every customer from the stylish Hector to the luxurious Gloster and the environmentally friendly ZS EV. Advanced test features, competitive costs paired with robust service networks make MG vehicles an excellent purchase option.

Conclusion

By locating your nearest Morris Garage showroom you gain access to the dynamic universe of MG vehicles. Visiting your closest showroom allows you to discover the optimal integration between modern technology with superb performance and stylish design. MG showrooms have all the facilities to meet your requirements whether you wish to purchase a vehicle or reserve a test drive together with service option exploration. Explore tomorrow's automotive revolution by launching your journey at Morris Garages this very moment.

[bukopedia]

Finding the Best Suzuki New Car Dealers: A Comprehensive Guide

When it comes to buying a new car, Suzuki is a brand that stands out for its reliability, innovative design, and affordability. Whether you’re looking for a compact city car like the Suzuki Swift, a versatile SUV like the Vitara, or the eco-friendly hybrid options now available, visiting an authorized Suzuki dealer is the best way to ensure a seamless buying experience. Here’s everything you need to know about Suzuki new car dealers and why choosing the right one matters.

Why Choose an Authorized Suzuki Dealer?

Authorized Suzuki dealers offer numerous benefits that independent sellers or online platforms often can’t match. Here’s why they should be your first choice:

Certified Quality: Authorized dealers provide brand-new vehicles directly from the manufacturer, ensuring they meet all Suzuki’s quality standards.

Expert Guidance: The staff at Suzuki dealerships are trained and knowledgeable about every model, helping you make an informed decision based on your needs.

Genuine Accessories: Need to customize your car? Authorized dealers stock genuine Suzuki accessories to enhance your vehicle’s performance and aesthetics.

After-Sales Support: From servicing to warranty coverage, authorized dealers offer comprehensive after-sales services to keep your car in top condition.

Exclusive Offers: Dealerships often have access to the latest promotions, finance options, and trade-in deals, making your purchase more affordable.

What to Look for in a Suzuki Dealer

When searching for a Suzuki new car dealer, consider these factors to ensure you’re getting the best service:

Location and Accessibility: Choose a dealership that is conveniently located and easy to access.

Range of Models: A good dealer will have a diverse selection of Suzuki models on display, including the latest releases.

Customer Reviews: Check online reviews or ask for recommendations to gauge the dealership’s reputation.

Financing Options: Look for dealers offering flexible financing plans, trade-in options, and clear pricing.

Service Centre: Ensure the dealership has an in-house service centre for maintenance and repairs.

Popular Suzuki Models Available at Dealers

Suzuki offers a wide range of vehicles to suit different lifestyles and preferences. Here are some popular models you can expect to find at authorized dealers:

Suzuki Swift: A sporty hatchback known for its fuel efficiency and compact design.

Suzuki Vitara: A stylish SUV with advanced safety features and spacious interiors.

Suzuki S-Cross: A crossover SUV that blends comfort with performance.

Suzuki Ignis: A compact car with a bold design and hybrid technology.

Suzuki Jimny: A rugged off-roader perfect for adventure enthusiasts.

Tips for Visiting a Suzuki Dealer

To make the most of your visit to a Suzuki dealership, keep these tips in mind:

Do Your Research: Have a clear idea of the model you’re interested in and its features.

Book a Test Drive: Always test drive your shortlisted model to get a feel for its performance and comfort.

Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask about warranties, maintenance packages, and special offers.

Negotiate Smartly: Be upfront about your budget and explore financing or trade-in options.

Find Your Nearest Suzuki Dealer

Ready to buy your new Suzuki? Use the official Suzuki website’s dealer locator tool to find an authorized dealer near you. With dealerships across the UK, you’re sure to find one that meets your needs. Visit today and drive away in your dream Suzuki car!

[espirittoyotanoidaservice]

Top Tips for Dialing Toyota Service Center Contact Numbers Correctly

If you own a Toyota vehicle, knowing how to reach the nearest Toyota Service Center can make a significant difference in ensuring your car stays in top condition. Whether you need routine maintenance, emergency repairs, or simply have questions about your vehicle, having the correct Toyota Service Center contact number can save you time and ensure you get the assistance you need. In this article, we’ll provide you with essential tips to help you dial Toyota Service Center contact numbers accurately, with a special focus on Espirit Toyota—one of the trusted names in the Toyota service network.

1. Identify Your Vehicle's Location and Service Needs

Before you even pick up the phone to contact a Toyota Service Center, it’s essential to know where your vehicle is located and what type of service you require. Toyota service centers are strategically placed in different regions, and some specialize in specific types of repairs (e.g., electrical, engine, collision, or routine maintenance). Make sure to identify your current location and the service center that’s closest to you. If you’re in [City Name], for example, Espirit Toyota could be the nearby center where you’ll find the right assistance.

2. Use Official Channels to Avoid Miscommunication

When reaching out to a Toyota Service Center, it’s crucial to make sure you’re using official communication channels. Scams and misinformation can occur if you rely on incorrect or unofficial contact details. Always visit the official Toyota website or look for verified contact information from authorized dealerships. Espirit Toyota, for instance, has an official helpline that can guide you through your service needs and ensure you’re speaking with a genuine representative.

3. Save the Right Contact Number

One of the most straightforward ways to ensure you’re reaching the right service center is by saving the correct contact number on your phone. Most Toyota dealerships have dedicated helplines for customer service, appointment bookings, and emergency assistance. You can visit the official Espirit Toyota website to get the exact contact details for services, making it easier to reach out when needed.

4. Be Clear About Your Purpose of the Call

When calling any service center, it’s important to be clear about why you’re reaching out. Whether it’s for a simple inquiry, to book a service appointment, or to ask for a diagnostic check, providing clear and concise information will help the customer service representative guide you more effectively. For example, if you need assistance with a recent issue or recall, mentioning that specifically will help the team at Espirit Toyota handle your concern faster.

5. Prepare Your Vehicle’s Information

Before making the call, it’s helpful to have your vehicle’s information ready. This includes your car’s registration number, model year, and any other relevant details like mileage or previous service history. The more precise your information is, the easier it will be for the service representative to assist you. When you contact Espirit Toyota, having your vehicle details ready will streamline the process and help you avoid unnecessary back-and-forth communication.

6. Know the Operating Hours

Service centers, including Espirit Toyota, have specific operating hours. Knowing the correct timings will help you plan your visit or call at the right time, ensuring you don’t have to wait long for assistance. Make sure to check both weekdays and weekends’ timings, as they can differ. Many Toyota Service Centers have extended hours for emergency repairs, but it’s always good to verify this beforehand.

7. Avoid Peak Hours When Possible

To ensure your call to Espirit Toyota is attended to promptly, consider calling during off-peak hours. Morning and late-afternoon calls tend to be less busy, which means you’re more likely to get quick assistance. Additionally, by avoiding peak hours, you can save yourself from long hold times and get your concerns addressed without unnecessary delays.

8. Ask for Confirmation Details

After dialing the correct Toyota Service Center contact number, ensure you get confirmation details about your service or appointment. This could be via email or a call-back, depending on the process at Espirit Toyota. Getting confirmation will help you keep track of your appointment date and time, minimizing confusion later on.

9. Utilize Online Booking Options

Many Toyota Service Centers now offer online booking options, including Espirit Toyota. If you’re tech-savvy, taking advantage of these digital services can make the process even more convenient. Booking your service appointment or parts replacement via the website or mobile app helps you manage your schedule better and ensures you secure your slot well in advance.

10. Keep a Note of Follow-Up Procedures

After the initial contact with Espirit Toyota, be sure to take note of any follow-up procedures suggested by the service representative. Whether it’s bringing your car in for inspection, preparing documents, or providing additional information, having a clear understanding of what comes next will help you stay on track.

By following these top tips, you’ll be better prepared to reach out to Toyota Service Center contact numbers and get effective assistance. Whether you’re contacting Espirit Toyota or another authorized center, being organized and informed will ensure a smoother experience. Always prioritize using official contact channels, have your vehicle details handy, and plan your calls around busy periods to make the most out of your interactions with Toyota service professionals.

[autumngracy]

Where I live is really weird because it pretends at being a functional village/town but it's really just a hopelessly parasitic growth on the local tourist attraction that would shrivel up and die on its own.

There's one place in town that sells fresh produce and "fresh" is stretching it because they have so many refrigerator issues that I cannot trust anything. Also their prices are insane, because no one is competing with them. Same issue with the guy that owns the only two gas stations in town.

There is a commisary on the military base next door that has fresh food, but you need to be active military or their family (or a veteran) to buy anything there (even civilian Dept. of Defense employees aren't allowed to shop there.)

There's only like one street in town that has shops or restaurants and it's super short. Due to the catastrophic storm damage last year, the two main historic restaurants there have permanently closed.

It's just shitty, overpriced hole in the wall type restaurants left now. And the ones that aren't overpriced have very questionable food health/safety situations. Some are so small they don't even have any dining space. And absolutely none of the restaurants anywhere in town will do delivery, but we're so far from any other areas that none of the restaurants anywhere else will deliver here either.

There are several restaurants on the base (mostly fast food) but you need to have a base pass to get in and most people in town don't bother and have no idea what's even in there.

Technically the area is walkable, but many parts are not pedestrian friendly, with a lot of blind curves, random speed limit changes, no sidewalks, and very little road shoulder. If you ride a bike you pretty much HAVE to ride it in the street because there's no bike lanes. Because some people ride in cycling teams here, they take up the whole, single lane.

There are a few car dealerships, a dentist, a clinic, a pharmacy, a car wash ... but they barely survive here.

There's no public transit here (just a shuttle that goes around the military base) but we get clogged with tourist busses for said base all the time and it's a total nuisance. There's also very little parking here and much of it is paid parking.

The nearest hospital is the one on the military base but it's not like, a real hospital?? And they won't let civilians (even government workers) use it. They don't really do any specialized stuff there and they aren't really equipped to handle emergencies.

Case in point, one time I tried to take my bleeding coworker to the ER there, which was super hard to find, and there was no one there—not in the waiting room or at the desk. After like 10 minutes a guy who was clearly supposed to manning the desk came out of a back room and was surprised to see us there; he appeared to have just been chatting with some other guys. When asked for help he seemed ... confused? Like he didn't know what to tell us or how to handle the situation.

So if you're dying of a heart attack or something, REALLY the only hospital you can actually USE is like ... an hour away.

To really do anything at all you need to drive at least 20-30 minutes over the mountains (and probably pay bridge tolls) because the entire area is a complete nothing burger with almost no services or shops (definitely no entertainment) and no sense of community.

Technically there's a rail system nearby but the one on our side is freight only; to use the passenger one you gotta drive over the river, pay the bridge toll, pay to park your car, and pay for a ticket/pass. And then it's 1.5 hours the nearest proper city. And you needed a car to do it all anyway.

“America IS walkable, you’re all just lazy” my childhood home was an hour from the nearest hospital (by car)