#Nathan you are such a cute father

[gagakareem10]

YAY! finally finished ughhhh! The background! I HATE IT! I HATE DRAWING IT 😭! (I need an appreciation for it, pls! It took me a long time and I'm very tired 🥺😭💕)

I was peacefully scrolling and I've found a scene of a movie familiar to me called "Gifted". It tells a story about an uncle named Frank Adler (NOT UNCHARTED CHARACTER AT ALL, HE IS A MOVIE CHARACTER) and his Niece Mary. A young 7 year old smart girl. Mary was a lot look like Cassie and although the man is her uncle, he is look like Nathan and the face of the two made me want to use their poses for These cuties.

I love Father and daughter bond just imagine them AWWWW!😍😍😍

I really adore Nate and cassie and here, cassie is 8 hehehe! (Imagine it as a photo that we can't see in the album lol)

Wanna me to draw more after my break? XD tell me

REFERENCE:

Uncharted (Nate and Cassie) © @naughty-dog

[januaryembrs]

YOU WERE LIKE AN ANGEL TO ME | Spencer Reid x Sunshine!Reader

Request: my DARLING @avis-writeshq says- i’m a menace but i ADORED the spencer fic u posted 🥹 UGH THEYRE SO CUTE YOUR HONOURRRR 👹if it’s okay, may i request another fic with the same couple 🙈 perhaps one day reader is not as sweet or chirpy as she usually is, or she gets injured or threatened in the field? much love and lots of kisses xoxo 🫶

Description: Spencer swore he wanted to hate her. She was too happy, too chirpy, too much for a guy who spent months rotting in prison. But how could he ever hate her when she cried in his chest like that?

Length: 5k (I'm feral for these two)

warnings: post prison reid. Angst. depiction of suicide from the Unsub. gory language used. guns mentioned. mention of $nuff video and other murders. Nothing that hasn't been done on CM already.

authors note: if y'all want to see more with these two just SAY because I am all ears I would die on this ship

There were a lot of times in his time at the BAU that Spencer had wished he could have changed the outcome of their bad guy, surprisingly enough. There was the time they found their UnSub a few minutes too late, and one of the victims fathers decided to take him out then and there with a shotgun to the head. He was just a kid. There was the entire time he was with Tobias Hankel, and he lived in a state of both fear and sympathy for the boy trapped in his own body after years of abuse. There was Nathan Harris, the kid who had stopped him at the subway station and practically begged him for help to stop his urges to murder, only to slit his own wrists before Spencer could get to him because he thought he was tainted. 

He could see how it was easy in their job to get wrapped up in saving the day, in saving everyone they could. He just had hoped, on some stupid grace of a god he didn’t even believe in, that she would have at least remained untouched by the bad luck. 

Spencer had always thought, since the first day he had arrived back into the office after his stint in prison, that she seemed to just waltz through life easier than anyone else. He knew the concept of luck was not quantifiable, that it was just a coincidence that good things happened to some people, and bad things happened to others. He always grouped himself in with the latter, because what was his entire life if not one bad hand of cards after another?

Part of him had been seething with vitriol jealousy when he first met her. He hated how the elevator doors seemed to open without hesitation for her, no waiting required. He hated how her hair never seemed to fall out of place, while his required primping and preening to upkeep. He hated how she was always so happy, whether it had been she’d been given an extra cookie at the bakery for free, or her coffee had just tasted super delicious that morning, or the road works clogging the city had been put on hold the one day she needed to drive into the office. She was one of those people, he had decided, that life just seemed to smile down upon, and she beamed back in that dazzling grin. 

He felt sick to his stomach for ever wishing it gone, especially when she looked like she might never smile again. 

They never liked to say that they had easy cases and hard ones, all of their cases were difficult to process. But this one had been a handful above the rest. 

“UnSub has been killed on site, all units stand down,” Luke said into the radio, and the entire squadron took a sigh of relief, all of them except him. 

Because he saw that look in her eye, the way everything sparkly about her seemed to have vanished.

They had been following Bobbie Wrids for a week. Five bodies in, five men shot between the eyes execution style, almost six by the time they’d arrived on the scene. 

She’d gone with Tara around the front of the abandoned building; Penelope tracked their newest victim, Henry Frond, through his phone pinging off the nearest satellite towers, and it had been straight forward from there. Or at least it should have been. 

Because by the time Spencer and Luke arrived in their own SUV, Penelope had time to access the rest of Henry’s phone, and it was clear to see the victimology behind all six men. 

They were distributing snuff videos of women, some between themselves, some to other usernames on the darkweb, and Bobbie Wrids’ daughter had been one of them.

Bobbie had become somewhat of a vigilante, but he was a grieving father above all. He was a wounded animal chomping at the bit to soothe the ripping pain of his daughter's murder, the same one those men were getting off to. 

Tara and her exchanged a glance as Penelope relayed the information over their headsets, her once serious expression falling into something sombre and sorrowful. How could she arrest a man she couldn’t help but feel sorry for, one she couldn’t help but think wasn’t entirely wrong in his actions. 

“Bobbie Wrids,” Tara’s voice was stern, cutting through the silence of the desolate building. Their footsteps were careful as they made their way through the hallway, down to what had once been a rec-room, or perhaps a staff room, where they knew Bobbie had Henry, “This is the FBI, we’d like to talk,” 

They heard nothing, and she looked up to the older woman hesitantly, her finger hovering over the trigger the way Spencer had taught her. Tara took a minute, knowing she was leading the charge here with the girl being so inexperienced, before she nodded to the door knob and the rookie twisted the handle, pushing the peeling wood open gently. 

Bobbie Wrids stood in the centre of the room, moth eaten couches either side of the damp rug, the ceiling tiles half caved in from wear and tear. Henry Frond was already a pulp in the UnSub’s arms, and yet it was Bobbie that her eyes shot to first, sympathy shooting through every fibre of her being when she saw the distraught look on the father’s face. 

He was grieving. He was grieving his little girl’s death. He was looking for a solution, and this seemed to be his best bet. 

“Bobbie,” Her voice was shaky, her and Tara frozen in the doorway as the man brought the pistol to Henry’s beaten face, cocking it towards his temple before they could even explain themselves. “We’re going to come in, is that okay? We just want to talk, just let us talk-”

They had only edged closer by three paces between them as she was speaking before his knuckles turned white and he squeezed the gun tighter to Henry’s skin, the barrel contorting the flesh, “Don’t come any closer, this pig isn’t worth your mercy,”

“We know,” She said, her and Tara slowly stepping over a fallen ceiling tile, cracking under her boot as she met his desolate gaze for the first time, his head snapping to her. “We know what he did, Bobbie. What they all did.”

His throat bobbed, his bottom lip quivering and the sight of it, a man so broken, forced a frog into her oesophagus, and she willed herself not to cry. 

“They hurt my little girl,” Bobbie choked out, his face turning mauve as the tears began to build behind his eyes, “She was my girl. She was only eighteen.” 

She nodded, his wetted hues seemingly permissive when she stepped closer to where he held Henry hostage. 

“I know, I’m so sorry for what happened to her,” She said, her voice croaky, unstable as she wrenched it into something audible, “I’m so sorry,” 

“He doesn’t deserve mercy, none of them did,” Bobbie spat, his forearm crushing against Henry’s trachea in a vice-like grip. The man floundered, a wheeze coming from his lungs, not that she felt much sympathy for him. 

She sprung into action, flicking her gun onto safety and holstering it, Tara doing the same as she lowered her weapon to her side. He profiled as a vigilante; he had no reason to hurt them. 

“Bobbie, listen, I know they didn’t deserve to walk free, okay?” She said, taking the smallest step towards where the men stood, “But she wouldn’t want this for you, would she?”

The man flinched, his jaw hard as a rock with how he clenched his teeth together, as if holding back a sob. 

“Come on, Bobbie. Let him go, we have enough evidence to get him sentenced. We can get you a plea deal, I know a good lawyer,” She begged, because she wasn’t beneath it, because she knew he was a good man backed into a corner, “Please,”

Maybe it was the way her eyes were soft when she looked at him, or the fact two more agents burst into the room from the hallway, Spencer’s eye immediately falling to where she was stood so close to their UnSub, her gun out of hand. Tara stood by, but that wasn’t good enough for him. He edged with light footsteps until he was behind her, his gaze cautious, never leaving the gun in Bobbie’s hand. 

“Please,” She repeated, and Spencer saw Bobbie’s shoulders drop, every sliver of resolve draining from his body at her gentle tone, a deer approaching a hunter. 

Henry was thrown to the floor, the man practically dead weight as he gasped, almost retching at the feeling of air sucking back into his chest frantically, and Luke and Tara were quick to wrestle him into cuffs, the woman reading him his Miranda rights. 

Spencer almost made a grab for her then, because she was still creeping forward towards the man who had a loaded gun still live in his hand. He didn’t care for one second that the statistics said Bobbie wouldn’t lay a hand on her since she wasn’t part of his list. He didn’t care that every sign pointed to their UnSub being benevolent towards women, especially younger ones, that she fit his daughter’s description. Spencer didn’t care, he wanted her as far away from that gun as possible. 

His heart lurched into his throat when Bobbie did in fact make a lunge for her, just not the way he’d feared. Because she had grabbed him. She’d pulled him into an embrace, a hug, kind and sweet as she always was. 

Spencer cursed her for being so soft. It was going to get her killed. 

“Agent,” His voice was terse, worried if you dug a little deeper than the sharp surface, but she didn’t listen to him. She held Bobbie tight as the man unravelled on her shoulder, falling into heart breaking sobs and it was then Spencer realised she was crying with him. 

“It’s going to be okay, you’re okay,” She was shushing him, the killer, reassuring him he was safe, as if the killing thing wasn’t still between his fingers that clutched at her back with rough hands. 

“They killed my girl, they took her from me, and then they laughed about it,” He wailed, and she nodded, squeezing him even tighter if that was so possible, “No one would listen, the police didn’t listen, I had to do something,”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry,” This was wrong. She wasn’t supposed to be sympathising with the criminals. But she couldn’t help it, she couldn’t help the gasping urge to comfort the man who had lost his whole world, “I’m listening. Tell me about her,” 

“She was so beautiful,” Bobbie whimpered, sniffling into her shoulder. Spencer felt his chest twinge at the scene. He hated that she was so soft. “She never hurt a soul,”

She cried with him, though hers were choked down as much as she could get them, her wet cheeks the only proof she had ever let them slip. 

“I’m sorry,” She said again, because no matter how many times she repeated those two little words, it would never bring his daughter back, “I can help you,”

He pulled away from her shoulder, and it was only then that Bobbie Wrids even noticed Spencer, his face taut in anxiety as he watched the man’s hands still holding onto her body as if she was the only thing that kept him upright, which Spencer wouldn’t be surprised if it were true. 

He fished the cuffs out of his back pocket, his finger never leaving the trigger as he stared down at their UnSub cautiously. He knew he may be being cruel, knew that ten years ago he would be just as caring as her. But that Spencer was long gone. And what remained was screaming in terror that she was in the line of danger, that she was holding the danger in her bare hands like she didn’t see the jeopardy she was putting herself in. 

Bobbie pulled away to look at her, the creases around his eyes deep chasms, and even with the smattering of grey hair, the stubble, the cold, empty look of someone with nothing left, she thought he might have been a handsome man once. He looked at her with a ghost of a smile, and one of his callused hands came up to tuck her hair behind her ear as if it had been second nature to him for eighteen years. 

“You’re a sweet girl,” He murmured, and she blinked at him, her chest easing at the way his wails had subsided into something quiet. She could help him, she swore she would help him. He was a good man beneath it all. “But no one can help me anymore, sweet girl,”

And with that he lifted the pistol beneath his chin and pulled the trigger.

—

She heard someone scream before she realised it was coming from her own throat, but her ears were ringing and she couldn’t open her eyes. Her face was wet and hot, and for a second she thought it was tears, but she was beyond crying now. She felt arms pulling her back into a strong chest, and someone was murmuring to her, or perhaps they were speaking normally and the sound of the gunshot had knocked her hearing. Either way, it was like someone had pulled a bag over her head as she brought her shaking hands up to her eyes to wipe. 

She managed to crack her lids then when the sludge was gone, only to see the room still a blurry mess. She could make out, in the haze of blobs and crimson tint, Bobbie’s body slumped to the floor, a dark puddle seeping into the rug as those long arms tugged her out of the room. She only then looked down to her hands where she had rubbed her face and she caught the same claret plasma coating her fingers, her white shirt, her pants, her arms. It covered her head to toe. 

It was in her eyes, she realised when she saw the ichor coating her fingertips. It was blocking her vision, turning the world a vivid wine colour, and she thinks she whimpered, or perhaps it was a moan of horror seeing the puddle beneath Bobbie’s body growing larger by the second. 

“I don’t understand,” She said out loud, her head spinning, and she brought her fingertips up to her eyes again, maybe to get the blood out, god there was so much blood on her face, or maybe because she hoped to everything out there that she would clear her sight and find it all a terrible hallucination, the product of one too many nights of sleepless tossing. 

But when she rubbed her lids again, this time seeing the scene a little better, Bobbie was still dead. She had still been too late. 

“You’re in shock, you need to breathe,” A voice instructed her over her shoulder, and it was from the same person who had their hands around her waist, pulling her away from the crime scene, as CSI filed in from behind them. 

She tried pushing the arms off her, weak because she couldn’t feel anything that wasn’t the horror in her stomach, and it took her a second before she listened to their words and realised she was holding a breath in her chest, the way a toddler does when they’re overwhelmed. 

“I don’t-” She gasped, the air rushing through her lungs, so fast it made her cough, “I don’t understand, I was going to help him- I don’t understand- why?”

“I know, just breathe for me, sweetheart,” Spencer. She only just realised it was Spencer speaking, because he had never called her that and the gentle tone he’d taken was nothing like his usual, civil cadence. He had been dropping a few jokes the past few weeks since she’d driven him home, had been more touchy feely with correcting her form when she was at the shooting range, had delicately touched the small of her back when they were navigating a crowd together. He was slowly cracking from his statuesque expression that hadn’t left his face since he’d gotten out of prison, but the softness with which he held her waist was entirely new. 

“Spencer, I don’t- I don’t get it,” She said, her voice bubbling into a sob as she allowed herself to be pulled away with no fight left in her. He took her into the hallway, turning her body from the sight of his hand lifeless on the floor with little to no effort. She was damn near limp in his arms, “Spencer, I don’t under-understand, I was going to h-help him, why would h-he do that-”

“Shhh, you need to breathe,” He murmured into her hair, trying to lead her out the front of the building and far away from where she’d just been front row seats to a messy suicide, “Come on, just breathe for me, baby, and then we can talk,”

But she wasn’t listening, and he wasn’t offended. Spencer knew it was the shock. He knew the symptoms by how her respiratory system had picked up in a matter of seconds and it was like she had gone from zero to a hundred. She let out a long whine, tears collecting the blood on her lash line and her chest seized into action, gulping down air, too short to do anything for her lungs, and her legs began to buckle beneath the two of them. 

Spencer stopped in the hallway, realising she was in more shock than he must have thought. He knew she was sensitive, hell it was one of his favourite things about her. He knew she felt everything so deeply, burned too easily, like a daisy wilting in a dry heat, or candyfloss melting in his mouth. Spencer knew, as awful as watching death up close was for any agent, it would hit her hardest of all of them. 

He moved around to her front, his hands migrating from her waist up to her shoulders, brushing over her upper arms soothingly. But her body felt numb, her head felt heavy, and her eyes were glazed over, down a rabbit hole entirely away from him, even when one of his hands cupped her wetted cheek gently. 

“Just breathe, hey, look at me,” He tried a firmer tone, and she bent to his will too easily. It was a punch in the gut seeing everything shining and pretty leached out of her eyes, as if she had become soulless in a matter of minutes, as if she had lost all hope in the world the second Bobbie pulled that trigger. She looked like hell, blood still fresh on her cheeks, in her hair, smeared around her eye sockets where she had scrubbed so hard to get it off her skin, “You need to calm down, you’re going to faint if you don’t breathe,”

She nodded, or something close to it, her eyes falling down to the floor, and she seemed to wrestle for control over her chest then. But what came after was worse, Spencer thought. Her brows screwed together, her eyes welling up with more of those fat tears, and her lips dropping into a devastated pout, her eyes trailing over the mess on her uniform, on her hands. 

“Spencer, I don’t understand, I tried to help him, I wanted to help him,” She sobbed, sniffling to herself miserably, and he barely even thought about it when he pulled her into his chest, not caring that her skin would dirty his shirt. 

His hand wound into her hair, stroking her sweetly as she buried her wails into his vest. He used his other arm to pull her close to him, which she seemed to have zero qualms about as she clawed at his back to keep him close, as if she didn’t want to face what was going to happen when they left that building. 

Spencer regretted ever thinking her sunshine was too bright for him. 

–

She hadn’t smiled in a whole week. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had given Penny a very forced smile when she had fussed over the younger woman the first day she got back, had said thankyou with downcast eyes and a fragile grin when the blonde presented her with a framed picture of a puppy to keep on her desk ‘incase she needed something nice to think about,’

She hadn’t looked at it once, because they both knew it wouldn’t do anything, no matter how much she pretended for Penelope’s sake that she would put it to good use. 

He had taken her out for coffee on him that first day, but by the time they had got to the front of the queue, he had been doing almost all of the talking, which had become rare nowadays since he had come home from Mexico. Usually, it had been her filling the silences, because he knew in her right mind she hated the sound of static nothingness, she found it awkward and unnecessary when she could talk to anyone without thinking about it too hard. 

They had got to the desk, the barista smiling up at him as he ordered his usual, before he turned to look at her as the woman serving asked her what she would like. But she wasn’t listening, she was watching out the window, nothing particularly invigorating beside a bird cleaning its feathers on top of a stop sign. 

He said her name, putting his hand on her back and her head whipped around, her eyes empty as they looked up at him expectantly, “What do you want to drink?” 

She blinked, waking herself from a stupor, and looked at the barista with an embarrassed expression, “Hot chocolate, please,” 

And that was all she really had to say until lunch rolled around, and she excused herself to head home early. Emily smiled at her reassuringly, her eyes wary as she watched their happy-go-lucky rookie head for the elevators with a desolate look in her eyes. 

Spencer hoped she would come around on her own, or maybe even be brave enough to talk to someone about the thoughts rattling around that head of hers, but she just didn’t. She stayed as silent as possible, only ever speaking when spoken to, asking Emily if she could finish off her reports at home, to which the Prentiss woman never protested. 

But Spencer had had enough. He’d worried himself sick over her, and where all thoughts of how endearing and lovely and charming she was had sat in his head before, now it was all just ways he could think to make her smile again. 

It was the following Tuesday by the time he braved action. She had gone home after their midday briefing, apologising to Emily with tired eyes that seemed to be growing more and more heavy by the day, like she hadn’t slept a wink in a fortnight. Which Spencer thought was entirely possible. 

He pulled up to the house Penelope had not so discreetly told him was hers, definitely not because he’d asked, and definitely, definitely not breaching any human resource policies about distributing fellow workers information (meaning Spencer had almost certainly not begged Penelope for the address with those puppy eyes of his he knew could bag him anything). 

The peonies in the window bays were wilting but her house was something out of a fairytale. He wasn’t sure why he was really so surprised. It screamed her, everything about it, from the toadstool post box to the little green, cast iron bench that sat in the garden, the metal forged to look like florets of ivy holding the sitter upright. 

He rapped the brass knocker, the metal cold under his long fingers. Brushing invisible dirt off his shirt, he hoped she would answer as the present squirmed at his feet. 

“Just a second,” He hushed, and as if she heard him, the front door swung open to reveal her bare face he hadn’t seen since he’d helped her wipe the blood from her skin in the back of the ambulance. 

She looked at him with furrowed brows, before they quickly shot to the floor, to her cobbled pathway that had clicked under his shoes, and her face washed with a shock. 

“Oh my god, Spencer!” She crouched to her knees, a slobbery lick immediately meeting her cheek as the Spaniel rubbed his wet nose up to her ear, sniffing her unique smell, as if it was a bag of Class A’s, “I never knew you had a dog,” 

“I don’t,” He replied, kneeling with her to ruffle the soft fur behind the canine’s ear, “This is Ace. He retired from the Bomb Unit a month ago and Penelope sent me his handler’s number. They said he’s the happiest dog in the world,” 

 “I would be too if I stopped so many people from blowing up,” She said, but before he could ask what she meant exactly by that, Ace had jumped up and attacked her entire face with kisses as if he too thought that statement was worth silencing. 

And she laughed. She laughed louder than she had in days, weeks, her eyes crinkling in joy as the little pink tongue stole away her sorrow, tickled away the traces of the blood that had tainted her skin. 

Spencer smiled, his eyes watching her face scrunch in a squeal, hands eventually coming up to the elderly dog’s jowls to gently push him down. 

“Oh, you are the sweetest guy,” She said, and the words had him tugging at the leash to lick her all over again, “Yes you are, you’re the sweetest little guy around, huh?” 

She chuckled, scratching down the mutt’s neck, and her eyes flicked back up to Spencer, who watched her with more intent than she’d realised. 

“Petting and receiving affection from pets causes spikes in serotonin in our brain and reduces anxiety, did you know that?” Spencer said, Ace pushing his muzzle into the palm of her hand to prove a point. 

Her smile wavered slightly, and she looked at his hazel hues that seemed to see right through her, “Look, I’m sorry I’ve been so off lately, I just can’t sleep at the moment-”

 “Don’t apologise,” He cut in, though his tone was kind, and the two of them stood back up to their full height, “What happened was horrifying, even some of the longest serving agents I know would struggle seeing that,” 

She scoffed, unusually pessimistic coming out of her mouth, “You wouldn’t,”

His head tilted, not quite understanding what she meant, because she hadn’t sounded cruel when she said it. Then again, he didn’t think she was actually capable of that emotion. 

She looked at him, a flash of something vulnerable in her eyes, something like that day he’d held her in the hallway; too fast he almost missed it.

“You’re so brave, Spencer, you’re like invincible. I mean, you survived prison and your mom getting kidnapped and you bounced straight back to work like it was nothing. I can’t even watch a murderer die without spiralling out of control,” She huffed, rubbing the bridge of her nose and before he could respond on just how wrong she was, before he could tell her that that was exactly the opposite of what had happened because he had damn near changed every inch of himself in prison to stop himself from breaking, he caught her murmuring and he thought he might just have been punched all over again, “I wish I was like you,”

His jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he stepped towards her, and her head shot to him, worried she may have said the wrong thing by mentioning everything that had happened, everything Pen had specifically said was a touchy subject, and she opened her mouth to apologise. 

“Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that you are nothing like me?” Spencer said, his voice bordering on furious and her fumbled for a reply, worried she had truly pissed him off. 

She wouldn’t blame him for hating her. She’d always worried, until perhaps that day they’d gotten into her car and she’d driven him home, that her very essence annoyed him. 

“I’m sorry-” She started, but he shook his head.

“Stop apologising,” He said, his hand reaching up to grab where her fingers tugged together nervously, his hold featherlike, his face softening when he saw her expression, “I don’t want you to be anything like me. I like you just how you are,” 

She sighed, eyes doe like with emotion as she looked at him, “Really?”

He smiled, a rare and genuine smile as she seemed to glow under his words, “Yes, really.” Spencer allowed himself to enjoy the way that the twinkle returned to her expression when he smiled at her with something almost like the old Spencer in him, before he cleared his throat, “We all like you. Everyone on the team likes how you are,”

She paused, nodding to herself as if knocking herself out of a silly daze, and Ace bounced on his hind legs trying to get her attention again. 

“You don’t think I’m too sensitive?” She asked, holding her palm out for the dog to nuzzle at with that wet nose of his. 

Spencer shook his head, “Sensitive is good. It means you feel something. Means you feel the good things deeper too,” 

Her smile was blinding, because she’d never thought of it that way before, and she looked like her old self again. Spencer wasn’t stupid enough to think she was never going to think about Bobbie again, he still thought about that first UnSub he’d tried to save. He still thought about Tobias Hankel. He thought about them all. 

But he was going to make sure she never turned into him. He didn’t think he’d ever forgive himself if she did. He’d protect her sunlight even if it burned him to know he could never have her the way he wanted. Because she was everything good, and he was him. 

She looked down at Ace, the life returning to her as she stood aside for the two of them to enter her house, “Tea?”

Yep. Spencer felt something run hot knowing she would always be out of reach. Didn’t stop him from thinking about it, though. 

[citrus-soju]

I absolutely love the development of Dethklok.

Nathan “I can’t do apologies” Explosion apologized to the woman and the fans he wronged without thinking about it twice. Nathan “I write only brutal music” Explosion, the man who wrote the song that saved the world. Nathan „no caring rule“ Explosion, who was the most emotional after losing people, and wouldn’t give up on Murderface. Nathan Explosion, the man who transformed from the fist into the hand.

Pickles „y’all are douchebags“ the Drummer, the one who let his bandmates sleep in bed with him because they needed his comfort. Pickles „calling Toki our brother is weird“ the Drummer, taking on a parental role and referring to everyone as his brothers. Pickles „fuck Seth“ the Drummer, making peace (more or less) with him for the sake of his band. Pickles the Drummer, the man with the biggest heart underneath that shell.

Toki „I always hated you Skwisgaar“ Wartooth being the one to save him when he’s unconscious and knowing what he wants to say. Toki „I hate children“ Wartooth age regressing and giving into his inner child, admitting he likes all those cute and fun things. Toki „going nonverbal around my parents“ Wartooth was strong enough to say his final goodbyes to his father (more or less). Toki Wartooth, the guy who showed his strength by becoming softer.

Skwisgaar „Don‘t Touch“ Skwigelf, allowing Toki to hold onto him for comfort and reaching out for his bandmates to comfort them as well. Skwisgaar „Just Kill Yourself Murderface“ being the one who figured out something is wrong with him. Skwisgaar „fuck you Toki“ Skwigelf putting so much effort into saving Toki, and then helping him „becomes goods“ at music again. Skwisgaar Skwigelf, the gentle giant who just struggles to show it.

William „what if I act out for attention“ Murderface, isolating himself from his bandmates to suffer in silence so he doesn’t worry them. William „I don‘t matter for the band“ Murderface finding his role in the band (as well as the bass becoming so much more prominent in the AOTD music). William „Idgaf about anybody“ Murderface dedicating the Song of Salvation to Knubbler. William Murderface, who found self respect and respect for other people on the way.

And also… Magnus Hammersmith, who realized his mistake. Magnus Hammersmith, who had spent years full of rage and bitterness, regretting and wanting to reconnect. Magnus Hammersmith, realizing he was in the wrong.

[starlight-artbby]

I enjoyed the fuck out of the new X-Men 97 episode. First of all, I ALWAYS knew that Morph had a bit of a thing for Logan so my heart really goes out to them and my heart didn't only go out to them that episode but also to Scott and Jean.

And Sinister needs to be locked away somewhere where he can never touch Morph, Cyclops, or Jean again.

There is some other worldly force that absolutely hates Scott Summers. The straight facts that he didn't want to abandon Nathan tells me that scott would've been a great father to his son. Poor guy was just really going through it. And poor Jean the way that her life was just stolen from her just absolutely crushes me. Like the ending scene for them had me wondering what'll happen next.

I loved seeing Rogue worried about Remy cause that's her man regardless of the whole Magneto situation. I also loved the cut little kiss they had in the opening. And let me not forget how much I enjoyed Morph teasing Remy. Like I love this kind of team moments

Now Logan.... Move on. Stop trying to get with Jean it just won't work out. Literally there where two jeans there and the second Scott was in danger they could only think of him. You can do better than this is all I have to say.

And Beast is just straight comedy like the whole "one of us has the wrong floor" line had me rolling. He is so witty and Comical and I love him for that. I felt bad for Roberto. Poor Sunspot is so ashamed of being a mutant and his worst fear being realized hurt. Good thing Jubilee was there. (I also enjoyed there cute little movie moment)

I was so happy to see that tiny ass snippet of Storm and I truly hope she regains her powers back. I need my Storm Goddess back.

Overall, an amazing episode 10/10 need to rewatch again.

[that-damn-fouth-chaosemerald]

𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐭𝐭

—❢—

×A/N×

Hi! I finally made Nathan Prescott headcanons! TwT

I hope this is not as short as my other headcanons... And I hope you guys will enjoy! ^^

If you find english mistakes, sorry about that, it's not my first lengauge! 😅

Btw, if your want to listen some musics for my headcanons, or maybe later, I updated my Nathan Prescott playlist!

Enjoy! 💕

×❢ About my work ❢×

so much fluff, one part of dirty minded Nathan, the reader is in a realitionship with Nathan, Victoria is not a b!tch to the reader, a bit of swearing, talking a bit about Mark is hot, for any gender

Fandom: Life is Strange

Character: Nathan Prescott

—❢—

(The picture is not mine!)

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears

“Help me to decide Help me make the Most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever

Everybody wants to rule the world

There's a room where the light won't find you Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down When they do, I'll be right behind you”

• You usally give him a lot of hugs

• He thinks that you're cute

• Sometimes you guys just sit in his rooms, you rest on his chest, while he's smoking

• You want to help him

• You listening his problems, thoughts, try to make his life a bit easier

• You care about him, and he knows it

• And he's so greatful about that and it makes him feel better

• You want to let know with him that you will always be here for him, no matter what happens

• You always want to make him laugh or just smile

• Because he looks so sweet when he does it and it's makes you happy

• You also love feeding his ego

• And he loves it when you do it

• "Damn, this shirt really looks good on you" you said with flirtatious smile on your face.

"I know." he said with a smug smirk.

You chuckle, while he looks for another clothes for the Vortex party.

• Sometimes you two just listen some music silently and alone

• Or Victoria joins to you

• When Victoria is here, you three talks about other classmates of yours

• Or about teachers

• "To be honest, Mark is hot." she said while does her makeup.

Nathan goes silent.

"Mr Jefferson?" you ask curiosly.

"Yeah! Don't you think?"

"Well…" you start thinking of you answer.

"You actually thinks that an old, hipster professor hotter than me?" Nathan says while he act he was insulted.

You chuckle while you give him a little kiss on his cheek.

"Never." you say kindly.

"Eww, get a room." Victoria chuckles.

You start to laugh.

• He doesn't really like to feel sad and uptight

• But when he does that, you always here to comfort him

• "When I was six years old, my father shouted me that I'm worthless" he says silently, while his gaze gets darker.

You start to feel angry while he says that.

"Welp" you start to speak in an uptight tounge "your dad is an asshole. And I think you're amazing!"

Nathan silently chuckles.

"Thanks Y/N!" he slowly close his eyes, but while you snuggle up to him. "I love you!" he says calmly.

"I love you too!"

• But sometimes he can get really dirty minded

• Nathan listened music, he got lost in his thougts while he waited for you to be ready.

"Okay, be honest" you say it as you finally got ready and walk over to him "do I look shitty, or very shitty?" you still adjust your party clothes.

Nathan gives you a smug, playful smirk as he looks at you.

"You look hot as always." he says with a smug smile while you start blush a little. "But trust me, you'll look more beautiful if I'll take off your clothes." he winks at you playfully.

You feel that your face starts to burn.

"Eww" you start chuckle "Why are you so dirty minded always?"

Nathan starts to laugh.

• Sometimes you guys out of the school, and play basketball, football or something else

• Or you guys just walking around Blackwell

• "You really want to see me playing basketball? Me?" you start pointing at yourself.

"Stop whining like a little girl! I'll teach you." he smiles at you encouraginly.

You sigh. "Okay, let's start…"

• He wants your attention everytime

• You sigh.

"Nathan, I need to study!" you say it tiredly.

"You can study later." he grabs your book and takes down to the table. After that he leans into your lap.

You smile at him tiredly as you shook your head.

[twigg96]

Works Master list 💕

Hello my sweet lovelies. It has come to my attention by some very lovely mutuals that I should make a master list of all of the works I have posted here on Tumblr. First and foremost I would like to say I do try to reblog most of my original posts and fics over on my second page @bionicpancake00. However none of that is in order nor is that sorted. So I am making this list, categorizing the works, and will be posting this and will be updating it each month with each new entry. (Hopefully lol) so let’s get started. Shall we 💕😊

First and foremost I am going to post my AO3 HERE. Most of my long form content that is not X reader ends up there. If anyone has any request for HCs, x reader fics, longform fics, or simple suggestions I am always accepting them either in my asks or my DMs. Linked HERE is what I do ask my requester's include, just simple things that I believe most writers ask for.

Metalocalypse Dethklok HCs Relationship HCs

Dethklok with a neurodivergent S/O

Dethklok with an Autistic S/O

Dethklok with a Bipolar S/O

Sharing a bed with Dethklok

Dethklok with a smol tactile S/O

Breaking up with Dethklok part 1

Breaking up with Deathklok part 2

Dethklok with a really shy S/O

Dating Pickles

Dethklok dating a belly dancer

Dethklok helping their partner through a monthly cycle

Foot rubs and massages

The boys caring for a sick/injured S/O

Dethklok caring for a sick partner

Dethklok with a disabled S/O

The boys caring for an S/O with chronic migraines

Proposing

Wearing their shirts

Fear of public relationship in fame

Wedding reaction and Song HC

FLUFFY HCs

Dethklok caring for crying S/O

Dethklok dealing with an S/O's annoying coworker

Dethklok & Mags with a Goth S/O

The Boys receiving head scritches from S/O

S/O is Charles' Daughter

Dethklok with a crush on a shy S/O

PETNAMES

MORE PETNAMES

Dethklok with a British crush

Pickles & Magnus with S/Os who likes cute things

Dethklok helping an S/O who's mensurating

The boys with a nerdy S/O who infodumps

Dethklok with a happy/cheerful S/O

The boys realizing their partner has a angel wing tattoo

Their first "I love you"

Trying to impress their crush

Sharing a pink bedroom with Dethklok

Pickles with a S/O w/ scars on their thighs (TW: Scars)

Pregnancy/Parent HCs

Dick Knubbler, Dr. Rockzo, and Magnus as the father

Dethklok Pregnant (MPREG)

The boys as a dad to a teenage girl

Papa Murderface HC (Lullabies)

Papa Murderface HCs (Being a dad)

Dethklok Daddies

Random HCs

William Murderface cooking HC (Based off of @polyklok's post)

A Potato Flew around my Room Vine

Dr. Rockzo HCs

Dr. Rockzo Relationship HC

Yandere Magnus ( CW: Touches upon abusive relationships)

What the boys smell like

Dickface HC

Pickles' Rats

Dick Knubbler HCs

The boys as yanderes

Helping Toki when he's having a flashback

DRAMA The boys trying to steal each other's partners

Sleep HCs with Murderface

When their partner has a lot of stuffies on the bed

How old are these dudes

Skwisgaar HCs

Nathan HCs

Murderace HCs

Toki HCs

Pickles HCs

Magnus & Nathan HC (Based off @folkdevilism's post)

Continuation of ^ This

Toki's Christmas HC

Dethklok's favorite football team

Witchsona HC

Dethklok's Zodiac

Just some art I made

Just a little tag game about ships I did once

Toki name HC

Does Dethklok Tip?

Nsfw HCs

Birthday gifts

Dethklok with a Bratty S/O

Murderface's first time with his S/O

Favorite Sex Positions

The boys reacting to a loud S/O

The boys finding out they're their partner's first... everything

Dethklok Fics

Eyes like Diamonds (Dickface)

Until Next Time (Charles X Reader)

By the Light of the Library (Dethklok & Reader PLATONIC)

You're all I need Babe (Dickface)

Take Me To Church (Skwistok)

Just Us (Tickles)

The Walking Dead Daryl Daryl Dixon X Reader

You're kind of a MILF Huh? (Parents! Daryl X Reader FLUFF)

I Should Have Been There (Daryl X Reader ANGST)

Can I Trust You Dad? (Daryl being a dad)

Spring Chicken (Parents! Daryl X Reader)

Thank you for the Music (Daryl X Reader FLUFF)

In the Nick of Time (Daryl X Pregnant Reader ANGST)

Princess (Daddy! Daryl X Reader/ Daryl being a dad)

Beau as a middle child HC

Strangers like me (Daryl X Reader from Merle’s POV)

Midnight Moonshine (Pissed off! Drunken! Daryl X Reader)

Into the Darkness, I become Stronger (Daddy Daryl X Injured! Reader HURT/COMFORT with the tiniest SMUT)

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington HCs

[toomanythoughts2]

Dethklok Agere HCs: Pickles Edition

🍹🐙🥕🥁🎤🧑‍🎤🍺🫂🍷🍸🥂🥄💉🩲💳💊🚬😡💥🧨🖕💆‍♂️

I wanted to do Pickles 🍹 next because I think he encompasses a range of age regression that isn't your typical shining poster-boy version. I have many thoughts on him that I needed to share before the others. Nathan and Skwisgaar are coming up next, but for now, this is for Pickles 🍹!

Everything is below the Keep Reading tab.

(Pickles, the longer I look at you, the more I realize just how fine you actually are. Like, damn. Anyway...)

🍹 Pickles to me is an older regressor. He's around the pre-teen ages, so around 9 - 12. Just to note, In "Snakes N' Barrels", the old musician that gives Pickles his first guitar said that he was "no more than 16" when he came in. So, if we follow his back story, this is around the age where Pickles was becoming accustomed to drinking heavily. So this is a very tender age for Pickles.

🍹 Like I said with Murderface, Pickles is an Age Dreamer, meaning his regression is voluntary. Pickles can learn to utilize his regression in ways that can help his mental health, but he won't be able to do that until he realizes he regresses.

🍹 Like Murderface, Pickles did not understand at first that he was showing signs of regressing until Toki.

🍹 Because Pickles is one of Toki's main CG, he did not accept or humor the idea that he to could be a regressor. He's been the caregiver for such a long time now that if someone brough it up to him, he would tell them to knock it off. Toki is his main priority at the moment and he needs to be there for him.

🍹 Like Murderface, his regression is not the cute, wholesome stuff that we usually stereotype with regression. His is linked heavily to his past drug and alcohol abuse, his toxic home life, and a very chaotic teenage and young adult life. Thus, creating a very violent regression output.

🍹 It was Dr. Twinkletits that first saw signs of regression in Pickles. It was during one of their own Rock Talks, where 2 and 2 came together. Pickles completely discarded him, but the fear of him being a regressor overcame him in the night, so he drank and smoked till he couldn't lift his head up anymore. The next morning, the thoughts were still present, so he decided to do some of his own research to make them stop.

🍹 How Pickles regression manifests is through violence and abusing drugs and alcohol. I'm not saying that everything adult Pickles does is regression in reference to this, but when it comes to certain situations and how/why he does it, then it can show cast regression. For example, Pickles started drinking at a very very young age to cope. Regression is coping. When Pickles drinks or gets violent after a seriously uncomfortable situation ("Fatherklok") he's doing it because that's how younger him would cope. Being violent came from the chaos that surrounded him, because no one ever listened or paid attention to him. He's violent because that's what got him answers as a kid, so when he beat up Murderface in Fatherklok, that was a form of regression. Same thing in Dethfam when he strangles Seth during his wedding after being bullied the whole day by him and his friends. Both of those episodes also brought up parts of his past, such as Seth being his regular asshole self big brother and Murderface reminding him of his own father and being neglected. Pickles only acted in violence and abuse because of the context in which he was in. In short, it was a trigger. Violence and alcohol abuse are apart of his regression.

🍹 Pickles can be pretty level-headed and the voice of reason when he wants to be. He can be a professional. He can follow his intuition. I think after his own research, he goes back to Dr. Twinkletits and demands to know what he can do to get rid of it. I think because he believes he has to be Toki's Caregiver, he can not allow himself to regress. It's not about being sober, it's about making sure he doesn't accidently slip because of his own problems when (he believes) Toki's problems are way worse. (Trauma Olympics) Dr. Twinkletits helps him but does consult that maybe if he confronted it and told the band, it would be alright. Pickles is very much against that idea.

🍹 He's the hardest of the group to admit it. It takes a good year before Pickles realizes that it would benefit him and the band if he did just come out and say it, because despite trying to "will it away" he keeps slipping back into it. He calls a band meeting and tells them, then threatens them that this doesn't mean they (Toki, Murderface, Skwisgaar) can stop listening to him.

🍹 He has a personal conversation with Nathan about it. He's initially scared by it. Doing it and not knowing about it vs. doing it and knowing about it are two very different feelings. Nathan gets it (Doesn't realize that he also regresses at this point) because he knows that caring for Toki and the band are what's the most important to him right now. Toki and the band are the most important things to Nathan too. But Nathan tells him that no matter what, he's here for him. They've stuck it out through all of this shit, this new piece of information won't frighten him away.

🍹 Toki and him also have a conversation about it. Toki is pleased that Pickles is also a regressor but also very worried. To him, he's scared that Pickles won't want to take care of him anymore. It's frightening to him, he just got his support system back. But he's supportive. Pickles reassurances him that he's not going anywhere, that they are a family. Toki jokes about when he has to take care of Pickles, he'll let Pickles have all the candy he wants, which is something Pickles won't let Toki do. Pickles honks his nose in response.

🍹 Stay with me with what I'm about to say. I believe in order for Pickles to get the full benefits of his regression, he needs discipline. And I don't mean a scolding. I think Pickles had a very real and serious conversation with the guys and Charles that a part of his regression is to do things that are "bad", be punished for them, but still be loved afterwards. He wants the feeling of being cared for enough that someone put rules in place for him to keep him safe and will enact punishment when those rules are broken. As seen in "Fatherklok", Pickles does bad things for attention (Punishment) but in his real life, even running away did not get him the attention he hoped for from his father. He wants to relive those moments, that feeling, that someone cares enough about him that they are willing to be the "bad guy" to keep him safe. While they do have a conversation about more positive ways of seeking attention and reassurance that they are paying attention to him, he's firm in what he wants.

🍹 That being said, I think the different ways Pickles can be disciplined are typical to a regular mid-western suburban up bringing. That means, he wants to be scolded, he wants to be spanked, he wants to be in time out, he wants to be grounded from his hobbies. What he does not want is to be smacked across the face or given the cold shoulder. Both of those are ways he was disciplined that are too close to the real deal. Now, when it comes down to who is giving out these punishments, it depends on the punishment. I think Nathan is the only one that Pickles will listen to in the band (He won't listen to Murderface, Skwisgaar he listens to a little bit, and Toki usually joins in whatever he's doing because it looks like fun.) so most punishments come from him, except spankings. This is where the band is divided the most. None of them want to actually harm Pickles or are uncomfortable doing it, so the only one who will do it is Charles. Charles takes this responsibility very very seriously.

🍹 All of this are just the details to a much deeper want, which is structure. Pickles needs structure in his regression big time. From a young age, his life has been so chaotic and unpredictable with drugs, women, and rock n' roll. He wants to be able to have a space where he knows what's expected of him, what's expected of others, that there is a time and place for activities, that there are rules. He wants to know there there is a hierarchy of people to talk to, that people know what they are suppose to do, with themselves and him. But most of all, he wants to be apart of the structure where he isn't neglected, abused, or blamed.

🍹 Pickles regression, once identified, also forms into a lot of tantrums (Do you see the pattern yet?) Except Pickles tantrums are physically violent due to fear of losing attention. Murderface throws tantrums because he's worried and anxious and misconstrues people's actions and words. Toki throws tantrums because he gets triggered from past events that send him into fight/flight mode. They all throw tantrums for very different reasons.

🍹 Pickles tantrums, while violent, don't last long. They are short bursts of anger, usually destroying something around him, then dissolves into instant regret and sadness. It's a rollercoaster of emotions for sure, the band needs to be there for him when the eventual fall happens.

🍹 Pickles has a weird feeling toward motherly figures when he's regressed. He has a lot of want for his mother, despite his mother not really wanting him. That same kind of desperation bleeds into his regression, but at the same time, he hates that feeling. He wants his mom to notice him, love him, comfort him, see his accomplishments. He feels weird when he gets that attention from other women when regressed, like a female klokateer or even Abigail (if she's around.) To him, it almost feels like "cheating". Like it's soiled praise meant for someone else. They make him feel "weird", something he still isn't able to pinpoint with Dr. Twinkletits. The band and Charles have all decided that it would be best to avoid female interactions when Pickles is feeling regressed to avoid these feelings until they can be identified.

🍹 Any and all mentions of Seth are NOT ALLOWED! It sends him into a horrible rage than ends in a crying fit. It's completely banned.

🍹 When he regresses, knowingly, his accent gets worse. The only one who can understand him is Nathan.

🍹 A lot of common midwestern foods cause him to regress and he will request those types of food when he is regressed because it does provide a bit of nostalgia for him. In one of the special feature DVD extras, Pickles stated that his mom used to make bowls of mayo for dinner, so I see him asking for bowls of mayo when he's small.

🍹 I see him wanting to do things that he didn't necessarily get to do around this age due to either his internal rage, his drinking and drug use, or his unstable home life. Like stereotypical pre-teen things like riding bikes or having sleep overs or having pool/summer parties. He wants to experience these areas without fear and anger (and Seth).

🍹 Further note, he also wants to re-do a lot of things in his past. Specifically, Birthdays. He wants to re-do his 10th birthday because Seth managed to not only take over the entire party onto himself, he was also blamed for another incident in the house, which caused him to lose all of his presents and privileges. The band takes this very seriously and throw Pickles the best 10th birthday imaginable! Pool party with a blow-up castle, hot dogs and hamburgers, a sheet cake with buttercream frosting, and lots and lots of presents! Pickles is so happy that he starts crying half way through "Happy Birthday". Nathan gets him an all access pass to a vintage arcade. Murderface gets him an original Atari 2600. Toki gets him an Easy Bake Oven. Skwisgaar gets him Boggle. Charles gets him Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.

🍹 Like Murderface, he wouldn't use any typical regression supplies but does like to get into comfier clothes.

🍹 However, because Pickles' regression is tied so closely to drugs and alcohol, he does still do those things when he's regressed. The difference is how he does it. He sneaks. He hides the beer cans under his shirt and smokes his joints in the bathroom with the window up and the fan on. It's a split debate amongst the band as they don't necessarily know if it's healthy for him to do these things when he's regressed. Dr. Twinkletits reminds them at Pickles is fully aware of what he is doing and his hiding and sneaking his substances is part of the regression, than it's best to leave it be. If Pickles were to decide one day that he doesn't want to be allowed to do those things when he's regressed, and wants the band to intervene, then that is when they should do something. If Pickles were in fact age regressing involuntarily, then it would be a completely different discussion, but it's not. Pickles voluntarily lets himself regress, therefore, he's in charge of how he wants it. Though, Nathan has talked to Pickles about limiting what he sneaks because he is worried. They've come to an agreement that Pickles will only use what he was already using at that time in his life, which were your basic beers and joints. It's a compromise they're both happy with. Pickles can still sneak and his regression feels more authentic and Nathan knows that he isn't going to walk in on Pickles regressed doing heroin.

🍹 Like Murderface, he hates SPF. Nathan holds him until he's coated three times before he lets him go outside and play.

🍹 Pickles is a little self-conscious of his freckles and hair color when he's smaller because he was always made fun of for it growing up. The jokes "Red-headed step child" really did a number on him in the 70's growing up. Also a lot of Ginger jokes made him self-conscious as well. The band works on giving him compliments and reassurances about those features in order to make him feel better. Toki is the best at it, since he has always been the most genuine compliment giver. Though Skwisgaar is able to give him very specific compliments that don't make him feel worse but they don't make him feel good either. Murderface tries but sometimes they come off a little flat, but the intentions are always good. Nathan gives very basic compliments, but they're always meant.

🍹 Pickles will deny his regression to anyone other than his bandmates and Charles. He will not let word slip about it outside of the group and will get viciously violent if someone makes a claim. It's not that he feels ashamed, but more about having to protect his other titles. He also does not trust people to understand him and his regression and does not want people putting their nose in his business. He saw what it did to Toki (hated it) and will not let it happen to him.

🍹 For my fellow Trans!Pickles truthers, this ones for you! 9 - 12 is the age range where Pickles first noticed that he did not like what was happening to him puberty-wise. Now, Modern-Pickles is already decades away from that stage and is happily settled in his identity. But when he is this age, those feelings sometimes come back. He didn't get the gender-affirming support from his family, so he used other methods to achieve it. But when he is regressed, the band puts things in motion to actively support his identity. That could come in all different ways like Nathan helping him pick out a binder, even though he doesn't need one. He never got the experience of having someone help him look, or to even look in the first place. They up the usage of masculine words like "Boy" "Dude" "Man" "Buddy" "Pal" "Guy" things that would help solidify that position in the group. Skwisgaar takes him out clothes shopping to help build a new wardrobe for his "special guy" (He can't say this to Pickles with Toki around because it will trigger his regression and then he will get jealous of Skwisgaar's attention. It's inevitable.) Murderface and Toki include him as "one of the dudes" in their dumb shit adventures, like sneaking out to go drink somewhere on the property or go smash something with bats. Pickles is always very grateful for this.

🍹 He reads so many comic books when he's regressed. Like a crazy amount of comic books. Especially Conan the Barbarian, Marvel and DC, Archie, Grimm's Ghost Stories, and MAD. He also loves Sunday comic strips. He will read them with the band on Sundays every morning during breakfast. It's their little ritual whether or not Pickles is regressed.

🍹 Warning, this one is a little explicit (??) Not sure how to label it but it's not anything bad. So this next one is a 50/50 HC with me, depending on how real I want this to get. Pickles did not have a normal childhood AT ALL, so I think his regression is very very very different from everyone else in comparison to what they do. Keep that in mind.

I know, as a former child, that 9 - 12 was when I was starting to discover my body, so it's probably the same age that Pickles would discover his. I don't think it's imperative to his regression that Pickle's discovers his body, but I think it will happen given enough time. Like how he sneaks with drugs and alcohol, he might also sneak off to explore himself.

If we want to get real, his own childhood is probably riddled with transactional sex for booze and drugs, especially since he has been drinking since he was 6. Remember, he started Snakes n' Barrels at 16, still a minor and only 10 years after he started. He is most likely a victim in some shape or form, even if he doesn't see himself as one (I HC they he has a hard time referring to himself as a victim in relation to anything that happened to him due to drugs and alcohol.) That could very well translate into his regression, where this might be the first time where he feels safe enough to explore himself without the lingering fear and shame. It could also be tied into taking back control that he once lost at that age. Where his body was a tool to further his substance abuse, and not something that he could just have to himself.

All of this is not talked about with the band directly from Pickles, but Pickles does talk about it with Dr. Twinkletits. Dr. Twinkletits in turn, tells the band as delicately as possible that this could happen, and if it does and you accidently run across it, leave him be. Do not interrupt or stop him. It's an unspoken acceptance that this is just something Pickles needs to work through. I know this is a more controversial take with age regression, so if you don't personally vibe with this, that's perfectly fine.

🍹 Pickles does not want a caregiver like Toki, who wants parental care givers, but he doesn't want to regress alone without them like Murderface. Pickles wants a Big Brother caregiver. Seth is a piece of shit but that doesn't stop Pickles from wishing he had a cool, protective big brother unlike Seth. So the band are all of his Big Brothers who look out for him but let him get away with shit. They tussle and fuss but also respect each other and love one another. He especially wants the feeling of being protected by an older sibling. When Nathan or Charles might be gearing up to discipline Pickles, one of the others will step in and try to talk Pickles out of it. Or they'll defend him and keep him close. It's a fine line of wanting protection from a older sibling and wanting discipline from an authoritarian figure. He does get a warm feeling when they help him with something or pass down "big brother advice" or think he's cool. It makes him feel smaller and softer.

🍹 He eats Play Dough. I think it would be the salt inside of it. He also eats chalk and newspaper. Charles has him checked out in case he is low on vitamins and is trying replenish them by eating non-food items. He's fine, he just likes the taste.

🍹 He does the middle finger when you turn around when he gets scolded. The others find it so funny because sometimes he isn't fast enough to put it away and gets caught.

🍹 Pickles rediscovers a lot of old books he used to read as a child but never finished. He spends a good amount of time re-reading them and actually finishing them. He finished The Outsiders, Carrie (Personal Favorite!), Who Censored Roger Rabbit (Personal Favorite!), Jaws (I want to read this one.), and Are You There God? It's Me, Margert, which I see being his "guilty pleasure" book that he would read over and over again. The others will offer him snacks during his reading time or give him a blanket if it's cold.

🍹 Pickles is a whiner. If doesn't want to do something, he moans and groans the whole way through. He doesn't want to pick up his clothes or put his dishes in the sink. He doesn't want to sit up in his chair right.

🍹 He has one stuffed animal that he keeps on his bed that Toki got him. It's a stuffed dog named Max. When he's not feeling small, he keeps him on his dresser to safe keeping.

🍹 He demands to have sleepovers in Nathan's room all the time, whether or not the others want to join. They get snacks and candy and watch R-rated horror movies and sneak a beer or two. It makes him feel giddy and playful and happy. He's having the fun he wished he could of had as a child with a friend, while doing things he's not suppose to with someone who won't tattle on him. He's also a cuddlier at these parties. A part of him just wants to be held while he sleeps.

🍹 Pickles loves to drum when he's small too. He played the drums as a kid, so he probably used it a lot to get out his anger and frustrations. It's not good playing, it's not meant to be. It's just a lot of him getting out his emotions and going through the motions. Like that scene from Hey Arthur where Francine is playing the drums and singing at the same time and is god awful at it. That's Pickles playing the drums when he's younger.

🍹 They have caught him from time to time trying on his old Snakes n' Barrels clothes. Kind of like dress up. He's always shy when it happens but the others don't joke him too hard about it.

🍹 He gets along with Murderface well when they are both regressed. They're just similar in age enough to be able to play peacefully, or as peacefully as two young children can play. Toki, not so much. He's usually too small to really play with them and it triggers a part of Pickles that needs to care for Toki, forcing him out of his regression. Because of that, Toki can't be around Pickles when they're both regressed.

🍹 Skwisgaar and Murderface take him to destruction rooms to get out his anger. It works very well but it's a pain trying to get him out of the room. He wants to stay there forever.

🍹 Pickles feels very "in charge" of his regression. He doesn't like the spontaneous nature of it and really only wants to regress in a controlled environment, like Mordhaus, and with select people, Dethklok and Charles.

🍹 Legos. He will sit and build Legos until his fingers bleed. He had a bin at home when he was much younger but they got taken away from him because Seth kept complaining that he was hurting his foot by stepping on them. Toki and Murderface take him to the Lego store as often as they can to get new sets. They all sit and build together, usually watching something or listening to music.

🍹 Pickles has a lot of musical knowledge. He loves talking about different bands and musicians and comparing songs. Nathan and Skwisgaar are the best with these conversations, as they can keep up with him. They talk shop and even formulate some new drum beats during this time. Nathan refers to it as priceless.

🍹 He does have a curfew but he also breaks curfew a lot. He's suppose to go to bed by 9, but he'll sneak a little to stay up till 10. This usually ends with Charles and Nathan putting him back to bed, tucked under the covers tightly. Pickles finds it funny. As a child, he would have been smacked or yelled at for be up so late, but this was nicer.

🍹 Very rarely will Pickles regression dip lower than 9. But it does happen. It usually happens after talking to his mother, father, or brother. He gets as low as 6, maybe 5, but it's only for a short while. This is when he needs the most support.

🍹 Toki is very protective of Pickles when Pickles is regressed. He knows how hard Pickle works to keep him happy and safe, and he wants to "repay" that somehow by making his regression just as safe. It's a little annoying but overall very sweet.

🍹 Skwisgaar will give Pickles impromptu guitar lessons when they are alone. They both get a bit of nostalgia when they do one of these lessons. It reminds Pickles of happier moments in his life when his actual guitar teacher was helping him learn. He likes the act of learning from someone who cares about him. The gentle encouragements, the finger placements, the thoughtfulness. It makes him feel good.

🍹🐙🥕🥁🎤🧑‍🎤🍺🫂🍷🍸🥂🥄💉🩲💳💊🚬😡💥🧨🖕💆‍♂️

I hope y'all can see the vision I'm trying to paint here with Pickles. He is a very unwell man who just wants to be loved. I think I channeled him well. I love Pickles, my little octopus. Obvi, if you have any HCs of your own, tell me about them! OK, love you, bye! 👋

[swissboyhisch]

First Date to First Dance

Pairing: Nathan Bastian x Reader

Summary: A song followed you through your relationship with Nathan, from first date to first dance.

Word Count: 3245

Warnings: Use of Y/N once. Mentions of love, some mentions of a wedding dress and other of nudity. I didn't look up his sister's name, I couldn't find it so I just did a random name. Also swearing.

A/N: This is for the lovely @shinyfalcon4 who is my Hockey Girlies Christmas Fic exchange buddy! I really hope you love this because I loved writing this. @mp0625 for the masterlist :) also unedited so soz for any mistakes.

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

Never could be sweeter than with you

Finally, winter break came around and your family was preparing for their annual Christmas Party. It was an all day long list of preparations your mother had perfected over the years. Your family’s closest friends, along with some of the Neighbours, were all invited to yours for a fun evening of food and drinking. 

Your mother called you into the kitchen where she was preparing a chicken to go into the oven. “Can you be a sweetheart and get the oven door for me?” 

“Sure Ma.” You turned to do as she asked before closing it once the food was in. “Do you need help with anything?” 

“If you could make your gingerbread fudge, that would be fantastic. Everyone always asks for the recipe.”

The apron was handed to you. A patchwork of different Christmas fabrics your grandmother had made for you when you became old enough to help with the Christmas baking. Just like it was tradition on Christmas Eve in your family. The women of your family prepare the large dinner and things for lunch the following day. 

When you finished your fudge and it was in the fridge chilling, you double-checked with your mum she didn’t need any more help before finding your father and older brother out the front. The pair were setting up the Christmas lights. Due to work, neither hadn’t gotten around to setting them up before today. 

“Hey jellybean,” Your dad grinned when he spotted you rugged up in your winter coat. 

“Need any help?”

Your brother threw a snowball at you. Right at your face. 

“You bitch! Josh, I’m going to kill you.”

“Language,” Your dad chuckled as you took off to chase your brother around. 

You were soon sent inside for being a distraction to your brother. With your mum all good in the kitchen and your dad and brother nearly finished with the Christmas lights, you decide to start getting ready. You had a couple hours but why not get ready early. It meant you'd be ready by the time the Bastian family arrived. 

A pair of new jeans and your favourite, most cozy, Christmas sweater was the outfit choice. Paired with a red clip in your hair to keep your hair out of your face. Simple but cute outfit. By the time you were ready, you heard the doorbell ring through the halls of your home. There was only one guess needed for who was here early. Your neighbours.

“I’ll get it!” You shout as you race to the door. 

The door swung open to reveal the Bastian family. Nate stood with his older siblings, Nick and Natalie, and his parents. All dressed in festive outfits. 

“Welcome, come in!”

As each member passed you, you got a hug. Leaving Nate till last. The pair of you grinned, sharing a hug before closing the door and retreating to your room. There was still another hour until the rest of the guests would most likely arrive. 

“So I was thinking that we could sneak out and go for a drive to look at Christmas lights,” Nate suggested as he took in what you were wearing. It was like you were glowing. 

“Really?”

It wasn’t a secret that you loved Christmas. Your favourite part was going for a drive around your city to look at the lights. Usually Nick, Natalie and your brother would take you two with them for their annual drive. But this year, both you and Nate had gotten your license. 

Nate blushed, “Yeah, I’ll drive. You can sit in the passenger seat with a blanket and hot chocolate. I’ll even let you choose the music.”

“That sounds amazing! Oh my, a perfect night.”

“A perfect first date?” The boy in front of you asked shyly. His voice trailing off more with every syllable. 

“A date?” You whisper. “Really?”

When Nate nodded his head in agreement – too nervous to speak – you hugged him tightly. Blushing and pulling away when you realised that you probably seemed too eager. “I’d, uh, love to go on a date with you.”

Those words washed away all the teen’s nerves. Nate laughed loudly, picking you up and spinning you around. The pair of you stared at each other with wide smiles. Both clearly happy with the moment. You found yourself leaning in, closing the distance between yourself and Nate. 

“Come on you two, come socialise,” Your mother called from the living room. “We haven’t even seen Nathan before you stole him away.”

The sound of your mother killed the moment but that didn’t stop Nate from lacing his fingers with yours and leading the way to your family. He parted for a split second to hug you mum and shake hands with your dad. Your brother gave him a knuckles before Nate returned to your side. 

“Ever the guard dog,” Josh muttered to Nick, his best friend. 

“Always,” he laughed. 

The party was in full swing by the time that you and Nate decided to ditch it and go on your little adventure. While he made you a hot chocolate for your drive, you changed your pants into a pair of pyjama pants. The two of you snuck out and over to his place. After pulling your favourite blanket from his bed and he changed into his pyjamas, you two piled into the car. Off on an adventure. 

“You look comfy,” Nate smiled softly, glancing away from the road for a second to see you snuggled under the blanket, thermos of hot chocolate in hand. 

Under the glow of the nearby house’s Christmas lights, Nate looked so handsome. Just who you’ve come to love over the years of being best friends and neighbours. “I am so happy right now.”

“Me too.”

One of your favourite songs started to play through the radio. The whistling intro to Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros started to float through the speakers. A song you recognised immediately.

“Oh I love this song,” You smile as Nate goes to turn the song up. 

Nate knew this was a favourite song of yours. Having heard it over the years since you had first discovered it. Now as he drove up to the next house on their list, he listened closer to the lyrics. Suddenly it hit him. This was how he felt about you. He parked in front of the house lit up by thousands of little lights. You turned to him as he heard ‘never could be sweeter than with you’ and it all fell into place. You were the one. Even though you weren’t dating, he knew. 

Nate pulled you closer, caressing your face as he felt your uneven breath on his lips. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Of course,” You grin, closing the distance between you two. Lips moulding together as the song goes into the trumpet part. This song was how you felt about Nate.

Home is wherever I'm with you

Nathan had training today and it was tiring but he had something to look forward to tonight. Tonight was the New Jersey Devils’ Christmas Party. That meant he got to show you off to his teammates. Something he’s never shy of doing. Especially at Christmas. 

Since the two of you had been dating, your love for Christmas blossomed. Which meant it passed on to Nate. It was both of your favourite time of the year now. Every light reminded you of your first date together. Of your anniversary. Your love was at the roots of the festive season.

What was even better was that he was back in New Jersey after the frustrating stint in Seattle with the Kraken. Neither of you felt at home while he was there but as had become the motto getting you through each day was ‘home is wherever I’m with you’. A lyric from what had become their song. It was their way of reminding each other though Seattle wasn’t New Jersey, he had you. 

Nate could hear the music coming from his bathroom. Since moving back to Newark, all he wanted was to be with you 24/7. To come home after a hard training to you somewhere in the apartment. Making it come to life. But you had your own apartment you had to return to every couple of days or when Nate was on a roadie. 

Even now, he could see bits of your spread out in his apartment. A few stray pieces of clothing left on the ground from their sexcapades the other night. Pictures of the couple over the years; their first christmas as a couple, his draft, their first christmas with the team. Even the little things like your keys on the hook, your brush sitting on the couch, the smell of your cookies wafting through the apartment. It wasn’t home without you.

“Nate, is that you?”

Without waiting another second, Nate started to peel off layers of clothes until he was only in his underwear, standing outside the bathroom door. He opened the door and saw your naked form swaying to the music. Eyes closed as you watched your hair. His briefs hit the ground and he slid into the shower behind you.

The familiar whistle echoed through the bathroom. Off the tiles. Then your soft voice sang along with the music. Nate sang along as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Hi baby.”

“Hey, welcome home,” You smiled, spinning around and resting your arms on his shoulders. “How was training?”

He grunted in response. His head tucking into your neck as you lightly ran your fingers up and down his back in a calming matter. The two of you just stood under the running water, listening to the soft music echoing off the tiles.

“That bad?”

“Yeah.”

You sigh lightly, scratching the nape of his neck with your nails. One of his favourite things. “Oh baby.”

“I wanna come home to you every day,” Nate muttered, tightening his grasp on you. 

“What was that?” 

The man took a deep breath, deciding it was finally time to ask the question that had been plaguing his mind since he had left for Seattle. One he regretted now asking earlier. “Will you move in with me? I wanna come home to you every day. Just seeing your beautiful smile makes my day a billion times better.” 

“Oh baby, of course I will,” You grin, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. The final chorus was playing as you shared a smile. “Home is wherever I’m with you.”

I never loved one like you.

Christmas was always one of your favourite times of year. Especially since you and Nate got together. This year was like every other. Well maybe expect the fact this year you two were hosting both families. Nate had a game both before and after the big day so you couldn’t travel back to good old Mississauga. But that wasn’t stopping your families. 

Christmas morning and you found yourself in the kitchen with both your mothers, Natalie, Anna (your sister-in-law) and Lila (Nick’s wife). It was a full family affair. Waffles, eggs, bacon, and more all planned for breakfast. All three of you had a mimosa close by as the men of the family hung out in the lounge room watching a random hockey game replay. 

“It’s Christmas, can you guys please put something else on for once?” Nate’s mum sighed, hearing the commentating of the game. 

Without an argument, surprisingly, the guys turn off the tv and put on spotify. Nate hooks it up to the speakers you have running through the house and plays some carols. When breakfast was ready, all of you got comfy around the dining table. 

“Kiddo, can you please pass me the bacon?” Josh asked.

“Here,” you smirk, picking up a single piece and placing it on his outstretched hand. 

“You little shit.”

Your mum sighs, “Can we please just save the fighting for a day? An hour even?”

Instead of annoying your mum even more, you did as your brother asked and grabbed the plate of bacon and passed it over. Not before grabbing your own pieces. Bacon and maple syrup would always be one of your favourite combinations. 

When breakfast was finished, the family made their way into the lounge room, finding themselves sat all around. This year it was Nate’s turn at being “Santa”. Which just meant reading the labels and passing them to who it was for. Slowly, one by one, the large pile of presents under the tree was dispersed to the correct individuals. And soon enough it looked empty under the tree. 

Everyone started opening their presents, words of gratitude shared from one person to another when their gift was revealed. Though you were happily opening your gifts, Nate hadn’t touched his. And he seemed nervous. 

“You okay?” You mumble to him, trying not to alert the families if something was wrong. 

The man just sent you a small smile, “Just want to see you open mine.”

One by one, you opened the pile of presents in front of you. Mum. Dad. Brother. Nate’s Parents. His siblings. A present from each person in the room except one from him. 

“Nate, baby, I don’t see one with your name on it.”

Nate stood up and went back to the tree and grabbed a small gift hidden in the tree, behind to tinsel to conceal it. 

“I found it,” He states handing you the present to unwrap. 

As you slowly unwrapped the small present, Nate sank to one knee. When you looked up at him, realising what’s going on, he grabbed the now unwrapped ring box and opened it. Revealing the gorgeous ring he had picked out just for you. With the help of both of your brothers. 

That’s when you heard the familiar whistle echo through the room and house. Filling it with the notes of your love song. 

“I love you,” Nate begins, his hands shaking with nerves. “The couple years have been a ride, that’s for sure. But I wouldn’t want to be on it with anyone else but you. I never loved one like you–”

“Yes,” You interrupt excitedly. You had tears running down your cheeks. Happy ones of course. “I want to marry you. Tomorrow even.”

Nate slid the ring onto the correct finger. Which was shaking with excitement. As soon as he completed the task, you flung yourself at him, tackling him to the ground in a loveful bliss. Just like the laugh he let out. 

“I’ve never loved anyone like you,” You whisper, in time with the song, before pressing your lips to his. The love pouring out as your family all celebrates around you. You were getting married.

Alabama, Arkansas. I do love my ma and pa. Not that way that I do love you.

Mrs Bastian. Who could believe it. Certainly not yourself or Nate. Both of you were still trying to wrap your heads around the fact you two were married. After so long of dating. 

The day had been perfect. From the morning spent getting ready with your loved ones to the moment Nate first saw you in your dress. Yes, he even cried at the sight. Then his speech that made you nearly ruin your make-up (thank god for water proof makeup). So far, it was perfect and you knew the rest of the night would also be perfect.

Here you were with your husband behind the barn doors, waiting on being announced by the DJ. All of the bridal party had already entered the reception tTo a couple party songs. Some of which were a little ridiculous but were a right laugh. Now it was your turn. Well you and Nate’s. Nate pulled you closer, sneaking another kiss. 

“I love you, wifey.”

“I love you too hubby,” You grin, pressing your lips to his once more. 

“Are you ready for this?”

You giggle, “I’m always ready.”

Then you heard the DJ. “Please welcome, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Bastian!”

The large doors swung open and you two walked in to clapping and cheering. When you reached the dance floor, Nate was sure to spin you around, showing off your white dress for the reception. Then he proceeded to dip you, kissing you in front of all the friends and family that were present. 

“Get some Big Nate!” A voice that sounded awfully like Jack Hughes shouted. 

The pair of you shared a laugh with many others who had heard the boy’s words. Instead of doing the first dance after the food comes out, you both had decided to do it first. It was how you wanted to start off such a great night of celebrating your love. 

“To kick off the long night, the newlyweds will be doing their first dance.”

The familiar whistle started to play and you two wrapped your arms around each other. Anyone who knew the couple knew this was their song. One that has followed them throughout the relationship. 

“Alabama, Aarkansas,” Nate starts to sing quietly as you two sway to the song. 

“I do love my ma and pa,” You continue.

You both smile as you sing the next words. “But not the way that I do love you.”

You come to rest your head on his chest, just listening to him sing to you as you dance. This, ever since you realized this song was your song, was your first dance song. And being in the moment made you know you made the right choice. With the song and Nate. Sure, you knew before this you two would get married. But it made you feel at peace knowing you and Nate were in it for the long run that is life. 

“(Y/N),” Nate spoke, going along with the song but changing the lyrics.

“Nathan.”

“Do you remember that day I took you to see Christmas Lights?”

You couldn’t help but grin at the change of lyrics, “I sure do, you drove me all around town.”

“Well, you looked out the window, admiring every light you saw and pointing out every house you loved, you remember that?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, there's something I never told you about that night”

“What didn't you tell me?” You knew the lyrics but every time you and Nat reenact this little part, it always made you grin that cheesy in love smile. Especially with the change he’s made. Hearing Nate speak about falling in love made those damn butterflies come back. Every. Time.

Nate came to cup your cheek, looking deeply into your eyes. “While you were sitting in the passenger seat, with your blanket and drinking your hot chocolate, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you. And I never told you 'til just now.”

“Aww.”

No matter how many times you and Nate heard this song, it will always be your favourite. As the last chorus played, both of you thought back on your relationship. How many times this song happened to be playing at important moments. From the first date to the day he proposed. This song was a way to show your love to each other. The love of your relationship. Exactly what you were doing right now. 

You two sing the last line to each other, encapsulating both of your feelings into those same 7 words. “Home is when I'm alone with you.”

TAG LIST

@findapenny @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras @francesfarhadi @cixrosie @dasiysthings @dancerbailey3 @puckmaidens @cole-mcward48 @sammiejane22 @kajasagmo @linneasblog

[thursdaygrl]

i'm eager to get some more things going, so here's a muse specific wishlist of plots. i'll be crossing anything out that i don't wanna double up, just like and i'll come to plot with you!

aurelio — arranged marriage, possibly with the families being in the mafia for the drama of it. / normal people plot.

beatrice — dark academia gay obsession PLEASE, bonus for lili fcs but not necessary at all

crash — angsty opposites attract with someone far too good for him / vampire rockstar verse pls i need it badly, preferably against a human but i'd also take a witch.

cricket — rivals or enemies to lovers / the sneaky journalist being played by someone who is secretly writing a story about her/her family while getting close to her and the fallout of what happens when she finds out.

dawson — figure skater/hockey player im BEGGING you. / accidental pregnancy also.

ford — i have a starter up for this somewhere but i really would like to write him saving a muse from a serial killer/slasher and the two of them healing each other over time. also lowkey want an age gap he protests to cause lol.

grayson — best friend's girl cause i'm a sucker for it. he doesn't treat her right and he's sick of it. lots of drama ensues, preferably.

james — best friends to lovers, specifically with an unlikely friendship so preferably someone a lot girlier/soft.

letha — a little nathan/haley inspired thing, pls.

luther — weird strangers meeting on the road and there's a sudden spark, would absolutely prefer if she was a little crazy cause he'd be into that. could be just intense or a murder, we don't mind. / two members of a band that both write songs and clash cause the chemistry is off the charts, pls.

maren — college campus murder mystery solving aka one of my favourite genres. alternatively, college campus slasher.

moira — a journalist or detective she comes across working the same case in a small town, they clash and also probably bang cause that's fun.

river — something jess and rory inspired cause i'm a sucker for that and i want river against someone bookish and cute.

rory — i really want a girl who thinks she's straight to discover otherwise through rory mostly bc i think it'll be funny. rory will not be trying to romance her at first and she'll do a poor job of it but we'll get there.

sosie — i'd like to play her against someone who works for or with her father, e.g. campaign advisor, fellow politician, bodyguard etc, ya girl loves something forbidden. / cappie and rebecca from greek inspired.

six — sleeping with her boss's girl, 'nuff said / would love to play this little criminal against a successful woman, maybe a lawyer or something who she gets to dominate and help relax.

sully — roommates who cannot stand each other but… :) very much jess and nick from new girl inspired pls.

[thatawkwardmoth]

Ideally, if Scott and Emma had kids in the main comics, would you want Megan and Ruby to co-exist? Or do you consider them similar enough to be multiversal variants of the same person, a Cable/X-man or Hope Pym/Nadia Van Dyne situation. I tend to lean toward option 2, but it would be interesting to see them try to get along in option 1.

(But also writers need to remember Emma's actual original surrogate daughter, the Hellion Catseye. She's both a daughter and a cat, which is peak cuteness. She should get a chance to hang out with her posh cuckoo sisters and/or help her mom troll her current stepdad Tony.)

(P.P.S. Emma and the Cuckoos need to meet Tony's AI daughter Friday.)

I want them to coexist. Scott Summers is meant to be a girl dad, he's meant to have a large family. I love Megan, Ruby, Megan's siblings (the one named Alex goes straight to my heart, he and his brother might fight a lot but he loves Havok so much), all of them. Emma is meant to be a mom and not in the way where it's like "she's not fulfilled until she's a mom". Her biggest fear was turning out like her father (the way she acted with the Hellions and getting them killed, the small thought she had where she was like 'im just like him'). With Megan and Ruby both, their stories boast about an understanding mother, one who was caring. She was the White Queen to everyone else but she was the mom Hazel Frost never was. Attentive, caring, not just focused on image and perfection.

Like how she is with the Cuckoos. She's a little awkward because they're teenagers but multiple times she's seen worrying about them, caring about their feelings. When they didn't return home from the first Hellfire Gala when it was sunrise, when they approached her about becoming the new White Queen, when Esme told her about her and Nathan's relationship and she helped her through that.

And Catseye being overlooked is really annoying. Because they pulled this Emma and Kate like Emma has always had her eye on Kitty being her apprentice, even though they butt heads a lot in older comics. Catseye probably wouldn't have been made Red Queen but maybe someone on Emma's team of people at Hellfire HQ.

I honestly loved the things they did with Empath still working for Emma while with the newer Hellions team. She still cares about them obviously. They're all alive on Krakoa, there is a scene where Empath is being yelled at by them because he let Sinister use their team name.

I personally am not a big fan of the Tony Stark/Emma Frost thing. I enjoyed it when it was a fling but Emma is a strong fighter for mutant rights. AVX and the other superhero teams reactions (FF4) to Krakoa were very revealing, showing how the Avengers viewed mutants and mutantkind having another nation. Tony Stark can say he's sorry a lot but it doesn't change the fact that Emma canonically holds grudges, she's always waiting for a way to get you back. They're cute together but only if you ignore the countless times Avengers have slandered the mutants, even when having mutants on their team.

Meeting Friday would be adorable, I will admit.

Anyway, I'm rambling and frazzled from work so this might not make sense.

[mrs-johansson]

Chapter 5: Avengers: Age of Ultron - Two Ghosts

Part 9:

“Say hi to Auntie Nat and Auntie Y/n,” I listened to Laura’s voice on the video of baby Nathan that she sent us. “Look at your cousin, Rina,” I showed the video to my daughter. “He’s cute right?” I smiled as she nodded.

Walking through the hallways of the new Avengers facility was something else. “The rules have changed,” said Steve. “We're dealing with something new,” I looked at the three men. “Well, the Vision's artificial intelligence.” “A machine.” “So it doesn't count,” Steve tried his best, hoping his failure would be overlooked by this. “No. It's not like a person lifting the hammer,” shrugged Dad who was also on Steve’s side on this one. “Right. Different rules for us.” “And what do I get? I lifted the hammer,” I asked and Steve looked surprised along with my father. “Free vacation to Asgard?” Offered Thor. “I will take you up on that one.”

“Aren’t you bummed that Tony is stepping back?” Asked Steve as we made our way back inside. “He won’t stay away for long, I know him.” “And what about you? Taking some time to yourself and Katarina?” “Maybe… But we have plenty to do here, so maybe some other time…” We reached the hall where Natasha was. “You want to keep staring at the wall, or do you want to go to work? I mean, it's a pretty interesting wall,” said Steve, and Natasha turned around immediately. “I thought you and Tony were still gazing into each other's eyes. How do we look?” She asked as she walked up to us. I handed her the tablet that held all the information that we’d need to make new Avengers. “Well, we're not the '27 Yankees.” The stupid baseball references. “We've got some hitters.” “They're good. They're not a team,” I said. “Let's beat 'em into shape.”

***

Steve was given the task to show the 4 new team members the whole facility. Since it is a big building, I thought I would just relax a little with Katarina in the sleeping floor’s living room. We watched some cartoons and had some fruit snacks.

We were sitting on the floor, playing with some wooden building toys when Katarina threw her hands in the air and smiled widely, looking behind me. I turned around and saw Natasha smiling at my daughter. Katarina stood up and ran to her. “Hey Bubba,” Nat picked her up and kissed all over her face, making the little girl laugh so hard. “How about you watch some cartoons with Auntie Maria while I talk to your Mama, hm? We could get ice cream after,” Natasha whispered to her and she nodded. Maria came in and took Katarina with her.

Natasha watched as Hill walked off with my daughter before turning to look at me. She put her hands in her pockets and stood up straight. “What is happening?” I was confused about the situation. I sat up on the couch and with a big sigh, she stood in front of me. “I want you to listen to what I’m gonna say next, without interrupting me. I thought about it… a lot, so please hear me out,” she said and I nodded.

“We’ve had a rough couple of months, maybe even a year. I think we both made it difficult but I did a lot of awful things. I said a lot of things that I regret. I never intended to refer to you as a…” she cleared her throat. “A whore,” I helped her out. “Yes, I’m sorry about that. We were extremely mean to each other but you still looked out for me and I’m thankful for that…” “Natalia, stop with the big speech. We both know that we didn’t mean the things we said. We talked about this,” I spread my arms and she sighed, looking everywhere but me. She was fidgeting with her hands, she looked very nervous. “Nat…” “I love you, Y/n. And this thing with Bruce just made me realize that I could never love someone like I do you. What I’m trying to say is…” My eyes were wide open at this point. “Is that I’d like us to try again with full honesty and directness, no hiding things from the past.”

I was speechless for a second and very much surprised. Getting to this point meant that we really treated each other shit and it clearly affected both our lives. For Natasha to stand here and talk about her feelings is beyond her. And I respect that and am glad to see her be more connected to her emotions.

But she can’t expect us to go straight back to where we left off even though I miss her a lot too.

“I hope you don’t think that we can go back to exactly where we left things off,” I glanced down at my hands then slowly looked back up at her hoping she wouldn’t throw a tantrum.

“Yeah, I know that. But Y/n…” She sat down next to me and reached for my hand. At first, I was hesitant to let her take a hold of it but my senses seemed to shut down and she easily did as she wished. “We can work this out. Slowly but we can. We got through more difficult times together and separately too. Дорогая (darling), it’s us.”

One look in her eyes and I got back into the same moment I fell in love with her. Natasha doesn’t change in a lot of ways, her heart will always be the same but as a person, she evolves a lot. Maybe not fast but very efficiently. I believe she learned and found out what I meant by being honest. Bruce didn’t speak about his past often but he didn’t hide a single thing and I think she realized how important honesty is in every relationship. She needed more proof I guess.

But man how I am in love with this woman. She will never fail to amaze me. No matter what will happen to us, she will forever be my always.

“I miss you a lot, Nat,” I squeezed her hand. Her eyes were full of hope and she was so eager for my answer. “I want to try again too, but things are different. I have a plus one now. She’s growing so fast and the thing with James is very unstable. We won’t have as much time together as we used to. Katarina is my number one priority now.” “And I understand that completely. Oh and besides she loves me, come on. I’m her personal clown basically,” she smirked and it made me laugh because it was true. “Let me take you on a date and we’ll see how it goes,” Natasha suggested. “I’d like that.”

***

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? You have fun with Grandpa,” I kissed the side of Katarina’s head before she ran off to her playroom. “Not that I mind spending time with the little devil here, but where are you going?” He crossed his arms and tilted his head. “I’m uhm… going on a date,” I cleared my throat, avoiding his eyes. “With whom?” “Natasha,” I mumbled, scratching the back of my neck. “Who?” “Natasha, I’m going out with Natasha.”

Silence fell on us, and I didn’t know what he was thinking because I didn’t even wanna know to be honest. “Okay, have fun.” And then he left for the playroom. “My family is so weird.”

***

Getting ready was nerve-wracking. I felt like we were gonna meet for the first time again, like we never even dated and I was extremely nervous. Even though we both want this to work out, nobody knows if it will or not. I made sure I looked my best, ready to make Natasha swoon.

On the way to the restaurant, I checked the time about a hundred million times just as many times I looked in my little pocket mirror to look at my makeup.

“So this is a date, huh?” Asked Happy from the front seat. “Yeah. I’m actually a little nervous,” I chuckled nervously. “Oh please, if you didn’t exist I don’t think Romanoff would have feelings,” he said and I took that as a compliment. “With you weird people comes strange history, don’t let that get between the two of you. I’ve seen the way you look at each other, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Be grateful to have found it already.” “Wise words from the man himself. How are you still single Happy? You’re a good catch,” I suggested. “Your dad. That’s why.” “I wouldn’t even doubt that.”

We pulled up to the restaurant and I got even more anxious. “You’ll be great. She’s already head over heels for you.” “Thanks. Go home and get on a dating app or something.” “You’re worse than him sometimes,” he said, as I got out of the car. “Bye Happy.”

He drove away and I took a deep breath before turning to the entrance of the restaurant.

I asked for the reservation and the lady at the front showed me to the table where Natasha was sitting already. She looked beautiful. I wasn’t the only one who went all out on looks.

She had this amazing deep green suit on and honestly, I wanted to die from how good she looked in it. With her red hair… perfection.

Once she saw me, she put her phone away quickly and stood up. She looked a little jumpy.

“Hey,” she said softly as she took a good look at me. “Hi, you look amazing,” I said and leaned in to give a kiss on her cheek. Her hand came up to my waist, knowing her way around. “So do you, as always.”

We sat down and soon the waiter appeared with our menus and we started to pick and choose our meal. “This is a very nice place, how did you find it?” I asked as I looked around the beautifully decorated restaurant. It was very fancy and it felt like I was in a movie.

“Maria suggested it, I didn’t know she goes to places like this. I didn’t know she goes anywhere, to be honest,” said Natasha as she looked through the different options on the menu.

“Should we get the wine we used to get?” Asked Nat. “Yeah, I was thinking the same. I have my dish too so if you’re ready we can order,” I closed the menu. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

We soon ordered our food and as the waiter left, my nerves came back as I looked at the beautiful redhead in front of me. “Why are you nervous? It’s not like we haven’t done this before,” she said with a grin on her face. I sighed with a small smile. I can’t hide a single emotion from her.

“I know we did, but I still feel like it’s a first date. We haven’t talked about our lives a lot lately and I don’t know… We also changed a lot so it’s kinda like a… upgraded version of us, first date.” “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“So anything new that I may not know about?” I asked as the waiter came back with our wine. “Uhm… I’m not sure. Oh I got a cat,” she said and I couldn’t believe what she just said. “You what?” “I have a cat. She’s been outside of the apartment building for a while and I kept feeding her, and after a week I just took her in. It was pretty lonely at home so I thought why not?” Explained Natasha and I just smiled. “That’s cute. I’d never thought you’d take some random cat in. Does she have a name?” “Liho. It’s fitting for her situation.”

We talked through the whole night and I just felt so relieved. It’s like we haven’t skipped time. The conversation didn’t stop, we shared everything and more with each other and I was really happy.

“Have you heard anything from Barnes?” Natasha asked softly and I glanced up at her before going back to my dinner. “He hasn’t even checked the mailbox for at least a month. I just hope he’s alive. Katarina already asked about where he is and I don’t even know myself,” I sighed, and the next moment Natasha’s hand was on mine giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“And how’s it being a mom? You wished for that since I’ve known you,” smiled Nat. “It's honestly one of the best things in life. She’s such an amazing little girl, I mean you’ve seen how incredible she is. She doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. It’s just so hard to see her grow so fast. I’ve missed so much already with her and I don’t want to lose a single thing. I’ve never planned to have a child at this age but I couldn’t imagine my life without her anymore.” “You’re an amazing mom, Y/n, I hope you know that,” said Natasha with a cute smile on her face. “Thanks, I try my best,” I looked down at my food shyly. “Do you want kids?” I asked bluntly and I didn’t know if she’s gonna take the question well but she just looked surprised. “Well… I haven’t really considered it. I wouldn’t say I didn’t think about it but… I don’t know, it seems like a very far stretch.” “You’d be a great mom,” I said and she looked at me with a concerned look. “You think so?” “Oh definitely, I see you with the Bartons and Katarina. You’d give everything to your baby the moment they arrive. You would be the good cop for sure,” I chuckled. “No, I wouldn’t. I’d be strict,” she straightened her posture, trying to look strict. “Oh come on, Natalia… you would spoil them for life,” I said and she thought about it for a second. “You’re probably right.”

“You said you haven’t spoken to your family since Russia. What’s that all about?” I asked and she seemed like she was ready to share her story. “They are not my real parents but we… We acted like a family for 3 years on a mission. It was the four of us: Alexei, Melina, Yelena and me. That was the only time I got to experience a family life. Alexei and Melina had to retrieve some data in Ohio so we lived there for that time. But of course, we had to go back once they got the job done. Melina was raised in the Red Room and I think she still works for them, Alexei is in jail if I’m right, and Yelena… I have no idea. I couldn’t trace her back to anywhere. We were used like puppets, Yelena was so small that she barely understood the concept of us being a fake family.” “Were Alexei and Melina good parents?” I asked and she shrugged. “They did the best they could.”

“Any plans for the near future?” Asked Natasha as we were waiting for our dessert. “Actually… I’ve been in talks with Nick and Maria about starting a new… SHIELD, but with a couple of changes. We’ve been compromised way too many times since SHIELD operates and we need to change that. So if you’re looking for a new employer…” I suggested and she chuckled. “Then you’re gonna be my boss again.” “When was I ever your boss?” “When I was in Stark Industries,” she said and I playfully rolled my eyes. “Okay, well that wasn’t on paper. You were my dad’s assistant.” “You could’ve bossed me around if you wanted to,” she said with a slight smirk on her face. “I should’ve lived with the opportunity.”

After we had our dessert, we bickered over who’s gonna pay but in the end Natasha won. We called a cab for ourselves and as each of our cars arrived we turned to each other on the streets of Manhattan.

“I had a great time,” she said with a knowing smile. “It wasn’t so bad,” I shrugged with a smirk and she chuckled lowly. “I think we’ll be fine, Romanoff,” I bumped my elbow into hers and she quickly had her eyes on me. She looked almost shocked when I said this and I just thought she had some hope in herself. “So it didn’t work out the first time. That’s what second chances are for,” I said and with a kiss on her cheek, I said my goodbyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” “See you tomorrow,” her cheeks rounded with a slight pink tint on them. We both left for our cars, making our way home.

[allergictocolor]

Character Profile - Gomez Addams

“Husband of Morticia (if indeed they are married at all), a crafty schemer, but also a jolly man in his own way. Tries hard to be father and teacher to the children, though sometimes misguided - we can depend on Morticia to straighten him out. Sentimental and often puckish - optimistic, he is full of enthusiasm for his dreadful plots. He is dressed in a tight double-breasted striped suit and is sometimes seen in a rather formal dressing gown. The only one who smokes - though Pugsley can be allowed an occasional cigar.” - Chas Addams

That was the description Charles Addams provided for the producers of the television show in 1963. His cartoon depiction of Gomez (named after a friend of his) was short and squat, dark-skinned, with a pushed-up nose, a mustache, and hair parted in the middle. I mentioned previously that he was modeled after Thomas E. Dewey. My husband pointed out to me that Dewey was the “Dewey Defeats Truman” guy. You can read about that weird event-turned-meme here. The TV show included an Easter egg for that in the 4th episode “Gomez, the Politician” (left).

It was the show that established that Gomez is driven mad with passion when Morticia speaks French, or any other language, in front of him, causing him to kiss her arm (right image above). They also established that he’s Spanish (they said Castilian to specify central/northern Spain) and his hobbies include fencing, knife throwing, zen yoga, and blowing up model trains. He calls Morticia “Tish”, “Querida”, and “Cara Mia”.

The comics always portrayed the family as eccentric and wealthy without an explanation as to where their wealth came from. The show depicted Gomez frequently checking a stock market ticker in their living room for his investments in companies with names like Amalgamated Dust.

Gomez in the 60s was a jack of all trades, but a master of none. He was a lawyer, sort of. He fenced, badly. He threw knives, and usually missed. He lost a lot of money in the stock market, but it didn’t matter. They were still rich beyond imagining. Per their creator’s wishes, it was Morticia who really ran things. Gomez was the starry-eyed dreamer. He would do anything for her.

Charles Addams never meant for Gomez to have “leading man” good looks. He was meant to be a bit of a ghoul, a weirdo, a loveable creep. The producers of the 60s TV show knew that wouldn’t really fly with their viewing audience, so they cast John Astin. They could let Fester and Lurch be weird looking. They needed Gomez to at least be cute. Addams passed away before the 1991 movie, but he likely would have objected at least a little to the suave and debonair Raul Julia. At least the movies brought back a little more of the evil.

Charles Addams had complained that the characters in the 60s show were “half as evil” as his cartoon creations. The 1990s Barry Sonnenfeld films may have had a handsome Gomez, but they brought back the sinister nature in a big way. The family drank poison. Gomez practiced his golf swing by hitting balls into his neighbor’s house. Importantly, the very first scene was a recreation of one of the most popular Addams family comics, pouring an unidentified something on a group of carolers at the front door of their mansion.

Raul Julia’s Gomez was many things John Astin’s was not. He was a crack marksman, a skilled knife thrower, and light on his feet. But like Astin’s Gomez, he thought working for a living was for chumps, so he was completely unmoored when the family was ousted from their home. Members of the Addams family don’t have such mundane things as jobs. It was with Julia’s Gomez that we got the real impression that most of the family’s money came from crime, and we loved him for it.

Raul Julia made such an impression as Gomez, that when Nathan Lane stepped into those shiny loafers to play him on a Broadway stage, it was clear he was not so much playing Gomez Addams, as playing Raul Julia playing Gomez Addams. The musical is a hoot, and if you get a chance to see friends in a local production of it, I recommend giving it a shot. However, it didn’t add anything significant to any of the characters.

The 2019 animated film blended visual aspects of both the original comics and the 1960s TV show. This version of Gomez is extremely similar to the comic version, and also has a bit of Peter Lorre to him. (He was the Igor type in old horror movies.) He follows Charles Addams’ original brief of trying hard to be father and teacher to his children, though perhaps he takes this too far with Pugsley. The animated medium allowed the storytellers to be as cartoonishly evil as possible. Charles would have been delighted.

One theme which has been present in all versions of the Addams family is the sense that they don’t belong in polite society. This is taken to an extreme in the 2019 animated film, which I do recommend if you haven’t seen it. (You can skip the sequel.) That theme is then built upon in the 2022 Netflix series, where the Addamses are all members of a caste of society called “outcasts”, different from “normies” in various ways. Typically, outcasts are werewolves, sirens, vampires, witches, etc. We have not yet seen what sets Gomez apart, but perhaps we will in season 2.

In the Netflix series, Luis Guzmán is the latest actor to fill out Gomez’s pinstriped suit, and he’s the one we can most easily believe has committed some crimes. People who only know of the Addams family from the 90s movies objected to his casting, but those of us who understand the full history know that he’s a perfect fit. And I, for one, can’t wait to see what he does in the next season.

[alfredojesta]

circus squad highschool au has also been running rampant in my mind for some time...

vine, freshman and sent to public school by his foster parents, is anxious and scared of basically everyone. he skips most days and barely gets his schoolwork done.

papa grande, who's the english teacher and owns his own bookstore, notices vine's anxiety. they grow a bond with grande becoming vine's favourite teacher. vine starts eating lunch in grande's classroom instead of the bathroom stall where he used to go.

later on in the year, grande introduces vine to a few of his other students — nathan, candy pop, jason and jonathan. why? because papa grande trusts them. they're all hardworking seniors. they all get along pretty nicely, seeing as they all share a love for art. the six of them eat lunch together in papa grande's classroom (even when grande is absent.)

grande teaches them how to do magic tricks. he also, being an english teacher, turned the lunchtime meetings into somewhat of a book club. he gives them novels to read and requests they write short paragraphs about the book. because they're nerds with no life, they willingly do grande's assignment. candy pop has turned it into sort of a competition: first person to complete their paragraph gets a point (for what? no one's sure.)

vine grows more comfortable coming to school when he realises he's not all that alone in his troubles. the others help him with his assignments and give him life advice — or at least nathan, grande and jon do. candy pop isn't to be listened to ("juggle thy cares away!") and jason's only advice is "get a drink of water."

jason himself wasn't able to make more friends until amelia unfriended him (their friendship was extremely toxic. amelia couldn't even tell jason that she had other friends without jason trying to convince her they're all fake.)

in addition, jason was bullied for:

wearing a tophat to school

being british

having red hair

wanting to be a toymaker

not having any friends

looking feminine

and basically just being autistic

his first true friends were nathan and candy pop, who he was forced to work with for a group project. in all honesty, jason didn't want to talk to either of them. he was still not over the loss of amelia. nathan didn't want to talk to jason either. however, candy pop's friendliness meant they were gonna have to talk eventually. and surprisingly, the three of them grew close.

i'm thinking of a cute scene where they have a sleepover at nathan's house. and because jason isn't allowed to have sweets often (his parents are really fucking strict on him), he's rather shocked when they get to bake cookies together. candy pop's cookies are the fucking best so they have a good time.

jason's father is a "toughen up, you are a man" type of guy, which is why jason does his under eyeliner during homeroom and wipes it off before he goes home. but at the sleepover, nathan does jason's makeup for him — and jason is Amazed. Shocked. Speechless. he stares at his reflection for minutes. nathan gives jason some stuff to take home so he can do more makeup on himself in secret.

he likes the feeling of it — it's not because he's a crossdresser but because it helps jason to express himself more. same with nathan (who is goth) and candy pop (who loves jesters!!!)

they're best friends who get into a bunch of shit together but all come from the same line of wanting to discover themselves and grow as people together. oh and — nathan pierces jason and candy pop's ears. jason obviously takes them out before he gets home or else he'll get the world's longest lecture. candy pop, on the otherhand, lives with (humanised) night terrors who couldn't give less of a shit about what candy pop does as long as he's alive.

[whencallstheheart]

Did you notice how they focused on N looking at LJ in the backyard scene? It’s right before he runs off to play tag with Tom, and it focuses (twice) on N just looking at LJ. How did you read that?

It could just be “oh he’s so cute,” but there’s also the fact that T and LJ’s relationship parallels N and A’s, and also the way LJ runs up and grabs T’s hand, is a lot like he would his dad’s if he were there. Which could add 1) maybe the old Fort Clay stuff of N feeling guilty in a way, or the “Jack’s shadow” thing (which would fit the scene, since that’s cleared up), and 2) when he and E are together he’ll be the father figure for LJ.

I don’t know, maybe I’m reading way too much into it 😅 it was just interesting they intentionally focused on that.

I went back and watched that scene. I think he's thinking about the fact that Jack doesn't have his father anymore and Nathan had an indirect part in all of that. They're talking about Jack's passing and how Nathan never met him and then here comes his son who never got to meet his dad either. I think it's a somber moment for Nathan but then he's able to smile because Jack is happy and has a good life and has people who love him including his uncle Tom. It's obviously sad that Jack died but life goes on and life can still be good. There's still a lot of hope for the future... including Nathan becoming his dad.

But yeah, they did intentionally focus on him looking at Jack which is interesting. Hopefully we'll get a scene or two of Nathan opening up more about his thoughts on everything.

[heywardsarchive]

Not the Right Time

or, four times the timing wasn’t right and the one time it finally was

word count: 2.4k

pairing: pope heyward x fem! reader

warnings: none that i can think of

hii it’s been a long time lol:p

first piece of work in more than a year!! anyway hopefully i’m back into the swing of writing

special mention to @mvybanks who was one of the main reasons i got inspired to write again

1

you’d been in love with pope for as long as you can remember. you were a kook and he was a pogue but that didn’t bother you or your families. ever since you started frequenting his fathers shop when you were fifteen, the two of you were joined at the hip. pope introduced you to his friends and you became an honourary pogue.

falling in love with him was easy, he was everything you wanted in a boy. he was smart, kind, brave and put others before him. you looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. it was a surprise he hadn’t noticed because everyone else had. maybe he had noticed, maybe he didn’t feel the same. you didn’t mind, just being in his presence and showering him with love, be it platonic or romantic was enough for you.

the pogues had dragged you to the kegger with them and you sat on a log with kie, nursing a glass of cheap beer in your hand, not really paying attention to the touron next to you who was talking about some horse riding course he did in maine. your eyes were focused on pope who was leaning against a tree chatting up some pretty brunette. you unconsciously let out a sigh which made kie turn to you. she followed your gaze and let out a sound of understanding.

“you should tell him.”

“maybe.” you hummed, still admiring pope from afar. he had a cap on backwards, his rope necklace around his throat and a few bracelets adorning his wrists, if you looked closely enough you could see the green threads of the bracelet you made for him peeking through.

tearing your eyes away from his figure, you stood up, holding your hand out to kie. she looked at you questioningly. “let’s dance.”

pope watched you out of the corner of his eye, the girl he was talking to had wandered off to get another drink. he felt a smile spread across his face as he watched you sway to the music with kie, a big smile on your face.

“he’s looking at you, you know” kie whispered to you, you glanced over your shoulder and your eyes met with popes who raised his glass to you as greeting, sending a smile his way you turned back to kie. “i think nows a good time to do it.” you nodded, but as you turned around to go to him, the brunette returned and pulled pope with her. your shoulders deflated and you shook your head. “it’s not a good time kie, besides i don’t think he likes me that way.” you gave her a watery smile and she wrapped you in a hug, whispering words of comfort into your ear.

2

it’s been years of pining in silence, you’re now 20. 5 years you’ve been in love with pope, waiting for the right time to tell him but it never felt right. you were tired of waiting for him, tired of watching him with other girls, girls who you could never be, ones who were so much better than you in every way.

so when a cute boy struck conversation with you at the grocery store on figure eight, you didn’t reject his advances. he was charming with striking green eyes and raven hair. his name was nathan, he’d recently moved to the outer banks from a small town in kansas.

nathan and you hit it off, you spent a small part of your day chatting with him or meeting him on dates. when he finally asked you to be his girlfriend you gladly accepted. he wasn’t pope but he was special and you could see yourself falling in love with him.

kie was happy for you when you told her the news, glad that you were finally moving on. pope on the other hand was a different story. at first he didn’t believe you then he got a bit upset but recovered quickly, telling you that he was happy for you and sending you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

after you left the wreck to meet nathan, kie leaned on the counter in front of pope. “so you wanna tell me what that was all about?” she raised her eyebrow as sign for pope not to lie.

he put his head in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. “i just, i don’t know. hearing her talk about him that way makes my heart squeeze in my chest. i think i might be in love.”

“pope, i love you, you’re my best friend but y/n is like my sister and i have seen her spend way too many years being in love with you, so i implore you not to do anything that will break her heart. if you love her, then tell her, if you aren’t sure then please don’t say anything.”

pope nodded. “i wasn’t planning on telling her anything, not right now anyway. she’s happy and i don’t want to ruin it for her. it’s not a good time to say anything.”

3

another five years had passed, you were now 25. nathan and you were going strong. you loved him, he was everything you could want and more but he had only one flaw, he wasn’t pope. even after all these years you ached for him. seeing him smile made your heart flutter and your chest ache. it was wrong, you know it was but how can you fall out of love with someone who was such a big part of your life and interwoven into every intricate detail?

it shouldn’t have surprised you when nathan got down on one knee and proposed to you on a beautiful starry night, but it did. your hands flew to your mouth in gasp and tears collected in your eyes. you said yes but your heart wasn’t fully in it. you knew that you would be happy with nathan and would live a contented life, that was enough.

the news of your engagement spread quickly among your friends. sarah and kie called you up squealing loudly already making wedding plans for you and planning your bachelorette. you should have been beaming with joy and happiness but you wanted to cry.

you knew that pope had probably heard about the engagement but you wanted to tell him yourself. in a way it was to give yourself some closure about a love that should have died a long time ago, but still shined as bright as a candle in the dark.

you knocked on his door, after a moment, popes face came into view. registering that it was you, he stepped out and closed the door behind him. he stood with hands in his pockets, not quite meeting your eyes. “hey.”

you wrung your hands. “i take it that you’ve heard the news.”

“yeah, congratulations on your engagement. nathan is a lucky man.” there was an undertone of bitterness in his voice which you did not fail to notice.

“yeah…” you smiled half heartedly, looking at your shoes.

“why are you really here y/n? i know it’s not to tell me about your engagement.” pope’s tone had changed suddenly, your face shot up and you noticed he had stepped closer to you. any closer and your noses would touch.

“you know why.” feeling bold, you moved closer to him, your breaths now mixing.

“i need you to say it.” he gulped.

“no. you know how i feel. i need you to say it, or don’t say it. i need to know i’m making the right choice!” you cried out, feeling a lump form in your throat.

pope looked at your figure, your eyes were watering and you were biting your lip, a sign that you were trying not to cry. he reached out and wrapped you in his arms, running his fingers through your hair.

“you know i can’t do that, it’s not the time for all that, you’re getting married y/n, he’s a great guy and, and i’m really happy for you.” his voice cracked as he whispered the last sentence into your ears and you started to sob hearing his voice, your tears wetting his blue shirt. you fingers curled around the fabric and you stayed in his embrace for a few minutes, possibly for the last time.

you pulled away from him and turned around, your gaze fixed on the ground. “goodbye pope.” and headed toward your car, leaving the man you loved in the front yard of his house.

4

months had passed since that day in popes yard, it was the day before your wedding. sarah and kie were were the best bridesmaid and maid of honour you could ask for and had pampered you brilliantly. nathan was so loving and you felt guilty for being so willing to leave him all those months ago.

it was dark outside and you sat on your bed, checking that all your jewellery and makeup was in its place for the big day tomorrow. you heard a knock on your room door. “come in!”

you didn’t look up thinking that it was your mother or sister.

“hey.” a male voice called, popes voice. your head shot up at the sound. “what are you doing here?” you inquired, closing the room door behind him.

he had his hands in his pockets and kept his gaze fixed on the ground. “i’ve come here to tell you not to marry him.”

“what?” you almost screamed incredulously.

he cringed and the sound and nodded. “yeah, i’m sorry for doing this to you but you cannot marry him. not when i love you more than anything and i know that you love me too.”

you were fuming with anger. how could he do this to you after everything?

“no. no you do not get to come here and say that you love me the day before my wedding. not when you know i’ve loved you since we were kids!”

popes mouth opened like he wanted to say something. you didn’t let him.

“no you don’t get to talk! how could you do this to me? you say you love me but you waited till the day before i married someone else, someone who is so good to me, who loves and cherishes me? this is not the time for such confessions pope! i want you to leave. don’t come for the wedding, please.” your eyes were red and watery, pointing at the door for him to leave.

he obliged but just before he shut the door he said, “you never said you loved him. only that he loved you.”

you collapsed on your bed and stared at the ceiling. why did everything have to be so complicated?

+1

you barely slept all night, tossing and turning. popes words played in your mind all night. “you never said you loved him. only that he loved you.”

when day finally broke and the light streamed into your room through the gap in the curtains, you sat up in your bed and put your head in you hands, gripping your hair tightly.

so caught up in your own head, you didn’t even hear the door open and your mother enter the room. “good morning honey.” she say down beside you. you looked at her, you were sure you looked like a sight. dark eye bags and you hair a mess from pulling at it so much. “hi.” you muttered.

“what’s wrong?” she asked you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“just have a lot on my mind.” you tried to muster a fake smile, but failed.

“is it perhaps something to do with pope?” she raised an eyebrow. your mouth opened and closed like a fish, trying to find the right words. “how did you know?”

she smiled, “i’m your mother, i know you. and besides, i saw him leave the house yesterday looking pretty devastated. now tell me, what’s wrong?”

there was no point in lying so you told her everything. how he told you not to marry nathan, that he loves you and how you didn’t know what to do. you were sobbing again by the end.

your mother wrapped her arms around you. “do what your heart tells you. don’t worry about what the others will say, i’ll deal with them. listen to yourself. this is your whole life ahead of you, don’t throw away what you’ve always wanted because you’re afraid of the consequences. no matter what happens, i’m here for you, your father and your sister will support you no matter what, okay? now come down for breakfast and actually think about what you want. you still have time.” she patted your back and left the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts once again.

you freshened up, ate breakfast and were back in your room once again, getting dressed for your big day.

you put on the white gown and looked at yourself in the mirror. it was beautiful but it didn’t feel right. you looked around your childhood bedroom and your eyes fell on the pictures pinned on the bedpost. the photo of you, john b and jj lying on top of eachother on the sand, the picture of you sarah and kiara pouting at the camera and finally the picture of you squishing popes cheeks while he grinned.

you traced your fingers on the last picture.

it was clear now, you knew what you had to do.

****

pope was sitting sadly on his couch, beating himself up for letting you slip through his fingers when he heard a knock on the door.

he lazily got up and opened the door, but when he saw who was on the other side, he thought he was dreaming. you stood there, in your white gown and veil smiling at him.

you looked so beautiful in your wedding gown, he forgot how to speak. “what are you doing here?” he asked, voice breaking as he soaked in your figure.

you walked closer to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his lips, one that you had longed for since you were a teenager, he was shocked but recovered quickly, kissing you back.

“i didnt do it, i didnt marry him.” you smiled at him, arms still wrapped around his neck. “what?”

“i couldnt do it. it wasn’t fair to him, nor to me. i told him that i was sorry and that i was in love with someone else. he wasn’t very happy about that of course, but he understood.”

“so what does that mean for us?” pope inquired.

“i means that it’s finally the right time to tell you that i love you” you pressed a kiss to his lips, holding him close.

[anewkindofme]

I hate that we didn't get more of Keith and Nathan. I totally get why Keith was around more for Lucas. I mean, why would he want to be around Dan given everything? And of course, Lucas needed a father figure.

But how different things could've been for Nathan if he had a healthy male figure in his life? Even after he was emancipated? I wish we had seen more of them. Especially fixing the car Keith gave Naley. Nathan was so excited to have a family project! He was so cute about it and everything.

It would've been the biggest FU to Dan: Your brother has basically adopted both of your sons and is 10x the dad you will ever be.