#Nate Berg

[buddha-arena]

Nate Berg (Facebook)

[justafriendofxanders]

when the leverage episode has life or death stakes and emotional character arcs

[eddy25960]

Nate Berg photography

[mutant-distraction]

Near Trinidad, California

Photography: Nate Berg

[bala5]

Nate Berg  · Good morning from California’s wild North Coast! Jedediah Smith Redwoods State Park

[imasradiantasthesun]

Tributes of the 74th Hunger Games

DISCLAIMER: This is not my attempt at asserting anything about the canon version of events and characters. Instead, this is a reference list for my Hunger Games fic Holding Bright, which is an AU! Meaning that there are two major changes you will see in this list: (1) the District 12 tributes are Madge and Gale, and (2) Madge is 18 instead of 16. Also, it is my headcanon that Madge is short for Marigold :)

The list is divided by district, with the male tribute first, followed by the female tribute. The numbers next to each tribute's name is their age at the time of the reaping. Under the Read More are some of my thoughts on how I decided on certain names

District 1

Marvel Grant, 18

Glimmer Lewis, 18

District 2

Cato Nowak, 18

Clove Kentwell, 18

District 3

Milo Turner, 16

Alanna Singh, 13

District 4

Hurley Duran, 18

Adriana Cruz, 17

District 5

Nate Begaye, 13

Finch Irving, 16

District 6

Ivan Campbell, 15

Dola Berg, 15

District 7

Sawyer Kipp, 14

Harper Grimshaw, 16

District 8

Dennis Reid, 15

Callie Hewitt, 17

District 9

Bartley Young, 17

Dawn Nguyen, 16

District 10

Colton Chan, 17

Blanca Felix, 14

District 11

Thresh Anderson, 18

Rue Baxter, 12

District 12

Gale Hawthorne, 18

Marigold Undersee, 18

Alanna's given name is a reference to famous mathematician and computer scientist Alan Turing. Milo's surname is an even more low key reference to him as well (aka I got a little lazy lol)

My thought process to come up with a name related to D3's industry: kilowatt -> kilo -> Milo

In the books, but even more so the movies, D4 is sort of Irish-coded (which doesn't really make sense because the East Coast is much more well known for having Irish-Americans than the West Coast but oh well), so for Hurley's first name I chose an Irish name

However, based on the map of Panem, I headcanon that D4 has a good amount of Latino influence (though I think D10 even more so): because of this, Hurley's surname + Adriana's full name are all Spanish-language names

I also chose the name Adriana because it sounds like Adriatic Sea, tying her into D4's industry

I went along with popular fanon that Foxface's first name is Finch

Because he's from D5 (power), Nate's first name comes from alternating current -> alternate -> Nate

D5 takes up almost all of current-day Arizona + a good amount of Utah + parts of Nevada and New Mexico. Because of this, I think D5 has a lot of descendants of the current-day Navajo people, so I gave him a sort of common Navajo surname

Ivan's name contains the word "van", and Dola's name is a bastardization of the word "gondola" because I wanted things sort of related to transportation lol 😅

D6 partially encompasses Minnesota, which has a ton of Scandinavian-Americans, so I gave Dola a Scandinavian surname

Sawyer's first name means "woodcutter". His surname is of Blackfeet origin

D8's tributes have names that sound like words related to their industry: Dennis sounds like "denim", and Callie is from "calico"

I made up the name Bartley because it sounds like "barley"

Colton's first name has the word "colt" in it, tying him into D10's industry of livestock. His surname, as well as Blanca's full name, are Spanish-language names due to D10 being in present-day Texas and Mexico

[pcwpolwrestling]

PCW Rewind: Extreme Election Night 2012

PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, OH Tuesday November 6th, 2012 Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Loud crowd chant of ‘PCW…PCW…PCW.’   Suave and Shania are in the ring.

Suave- HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W EX-TREEEEEME ELECTION NIGHT 2012!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- I am Johnny Suave, the Voice of PCW.  This smoking hot piece of cardboard is Shania Twain.  Tonight, Barack Obama (D-IL) find out if he will have a second four term as PCW CEO.  Opposing him, ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).

Suave runs down the card one last time:

Arizona- Jeff Flake (R) vs. Rich Carmona (D) Montana- Denny Rehberg (R) vs. Jon Tester (D) Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D) Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D) Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D) Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Todd Akin (R)

PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

PCW Title Match: Triple R (D) © vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Suave- Last night on PCW Extreme Political TV, this went down…

“No Frills’ Chris Escondido Addresses the Independents Escondido says that both the Republicans and Democrats have disrespected independents for years even though they are the ones the power- the ones who swing elections.  He notes that there’s a disagreement between the Dawn McGill-William Daniels Bryan factions and tonight is going to settle all issues.  Tomorrow night is PCW Extreme Election Night and Independents will be there in force.

Bryan vs. McGill for the Heartland Title Bryan again used his wrestling skills to get McGill grounded yet again.  McGill kicked at him but Bryan first locked in a figure four and then the LaBell Lock.  This time McGill found herself in the middle of the ring and out of arm’s reach of the ropes.  This time, McGill had no choice but to tap out.

WINNER AND NEW HEARTLAND TITLE CHAMPION: William Daniels Bryan @ 8:15

McGill handed the belt to Bryan and then raised his arm in the air.  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido then joined them along with the rest of the PCW Independents.

Suave- So the Platte Populist William Daniels Bryan is the new Heartland Champion and it appears “No Frills” Chris Escondido is the de facto leader of the Independents.  Will the Independents swing the results here tonight?

Voice- NO!

Out runs Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver holding a huge binder of paper.

Nate Silver- This is proof that Barack Obama will be re-elected PCW CEO!  The Independents don’t mean anything.  This does.  It’s all about science and numbers- something the Republicans don’t understand.  Mark my words.  When tonight’s show is done- Barack Obama will be the next PCW CEO.

Then David Axelrod (D) saunters out.

David Axelrod- I’ll go one step further.  If Obama loses tonight, I’ll shave my mustache off.

Suave- There you have it.  Axelrod has put his mustache up as a guarantee that Barack Obama will win tonight.

Suave- Let’s head to the ring for our first match of the night.

Match 1: Jeff Flake (R-AZ) vs. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) Arizonians Flake and Carmona are both first time participants in PCW and vying for retiring Jon Kyl‘s (R-AZ) spot on the PCW Competition Committee.

The big issue over the upcoming match?  Carmona tried to imply that ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain (R-AZ) and Kyl endorsed him instead of Flake.

Suffice to say, neither McCain nor Kyl were amused and set out to make clear that they were and will be in Flake’s corner.

Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall

Marshall does the introductions and indeed, both the Straight Shooter John McCain and Jon Kyl are in Flake’s corner.  The bell rings and the match is underway.

Flake and Carmona hook up in the middle of the ring.  Flake  shoves Carmona down and sets up for an Elbow Drop… BOOM.. Then another Elbow Drop… BOOM.  Carmona comes back with a back breaker on Flake and then tries an early elbow submission.  Flake escapes and gets dropped by a slingshot elbow. Carmona applies the camel clutch but Flake escapes to the floor.  Flake catches Carmona climbing out of the ring with a low blow.  Carmona goes down.  Flake grabs Carmona’s shoulders, turns him around, and boots him in the ass.  Flake follows with an open hand chop.

Flake rolls Carmona back into the ring and continues to work him over, but Carmona regains control by whipping Flake into the corner.  Carmona retrieves Flake and applies an overhead wrist lock but Flake muscles Carmona to the corner to break the hold.  Carmona heads up top.  Flake tries to knock him off the turnbuckle, but Carmona takes the arm and slaps on the cross arm breaker while hanging over the top rope.

Carmona releases the hold and slides back into the ring.  He whips Flake to the corner and charges in.  Flake floats over into a roll-up pin and gets a two count. Both men get back to their feet, but Carmona regains control and repeatedly punches Flake’s arm.  Carmona tries for another over-the-top-rope cross arm breaker but Flake blocks.   Carmona goes for a back breaker / neck breaker combo, but Flake counters with a drop kick.  Flake tries another drop kick but Carmona catches Flake’s leg and drops to his knees to hyperextend the knee. Carmona wrenches the injured leg around the second rope. Flake tries to get away, but Carmona grabs the injured leg and pulls him down to the mat. Carmona locks in a single leg Boston crab on the injured leg right in the middle of the ring.

Flake tries to crawl toward the ropes, but Carmona pulls him back to the middle of the ring.   Out of nowhere, Jon Kyl jumps into the ring and kicks Carmona.   Then John McCain comes in and…LOW BLOWS CARMONA!  Carmona drops to his knees.  Flake hits a basement dropkick and covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jeff Flake (R-AZ)

Suave- John McCain and Jon Kyl come through for Jeff Flake and he wins here at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012!

Outside PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s Office Two guards stand outside.

Suave- Four years ago, Bubba Jackson announced to the political wrestling world that Barack Obama would follow George W. Bush as the next PCW CEO.  Tonight, will he keep Obama on for another four years?  Or will he choose Mitt Romney?  Stay tuned.  Let’s go back to the ring.

Match #2 Linda McMahon (R-CT) vs. Chris Murphy (D-CT) Two years ago, Linda McMahon (R-CT), wife of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon took on Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Despite McMahon’s wrestling pedigree, she would come up short in the political wrestling arena when her son-in-law, world famous pro wrestler Paul Levesque(Triple H in WWE) accidently clocked her with a sledgehammer.

Now, McMahon is back and this time Vince McMahon himself will be on hand to finish the job his son-in-law couldn’t two years ago, get Linda McMahon on the PCW Executive Committee.

In her way, Democrat Chris Murphy.  Can he overcome the forces of pro wrestling’s most dominant personality- Vince McMahon?  Or will the McMahon family roll past Murphy?

Vince McMahon, Paul Levesque, and Stephanie McMahon-Levesque join Linda McMahon at ringside.  Vince immediately starts talking to the referee as the match begins.  Linda tries to connect with a knee but Murphy moves back.  McMahon knifehand chops Murphy.  Murphy throws McMahon off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block.   Murphy goes to follow up but Vince McMahon trips him up.

Suave- Are here we go.  I still can’t believe that the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, is here in PCW.

Murphy moves back to his feet and glares at McMahon.  Murphy goes for a body slam but McMahon slips out.  Murphy puts McMahon in the hangman submission.  Vince in the ring and pulls Murphy off.   Vince clocks Murphy with a closed fist and the referee literally has to pull him off.  Vince is sent out of the ring but he stays on the apron and continues a running dialogue with the referee.

Suave- I think he’s saying that’s not how they do things in the WWE.

McMahon hits Murphy with a elbow smash to the face.  McMahon knees Murphy and lifts him for a powerslam- but she’s not strong enough to lift Murphy.  McMahon goes for a hiptoss but is unable to lift Murphy.  McMahon bites Murphy’s arm.  Vince throws a chair in the ring.  McMahon opens up the chair…Murphy into the ropes…drop toe hold onto the open chair! McMahon stands up.  McMahon with an armdrag.  Murphy powers up and then they lockup.  Murphy whips McMahon to the corner of the ring.  Meanwhile, Vince McMahon continues a running commentary to the referee who appears to be getting tired of it.

McMahon jabs Murphy.  Murphy comes back with a swinging DDT and covers. 1…2…Vince in and makes the save.  Vince with the chair.  *WHAP*  Murphy’s down.  Linda’s not in a position to make the cover.  And the referee stops the match.

Suave- WHAT IS HE DOING?  HE’S SENDING THE McMAHON FAMILY TO THE BACK!

The crowd roars and Vince is livid.  Levesque in the ring and he lets the referee have it.  Finally, PCW security intervenes and escorts the McMahons to the back.

Suave- Wow, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

Murphy clotheslines Linda McMahon.  He then goes with a double underhook and piledrives her right into the mat.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Chris Murphy (D)

Suave- Chris Murphy with the win here and…WATCH OUT!

Vince McMahon is back and he decks the referee.  PCW security again swarm to the ring and McMahon is escorted out of the arena.

Suave-More Extreme Election Night after this.

PCW’s Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein…

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein

…interviews world famous swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen.

Chrissy Teigen

Teigen tells Bernstein that she’s glad to be at PCW Extreme Election Night to lend her support to Barack Obama.

This causes some of the more rabid Republicans in the crowd to start booing.  Teigen smiles through it and continues the interview with Bernstein.

The nastiness continues and finally, Kathryn Randall Collins (D), Code Pink (D), and Emily S List (D) come out.

Code Pink- This is proof that the Republicans are waging a war against women!

The Democrats cheer while the Republicans boo.

Then actress Melissa Joan Hart walks out.

Melissa Joan Hart

She tells the crowd that she supports Mitt Romney and that sometimes you have to agree to disagree.

Now it’s the Republicans who cheer while the Democrats are silent.  Code Pink and List look at each other.  Then they attack Hart.

Suave- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

PCW Champion Jill Berg (R) runs in and runs off both Code Pink and Emily S List.

Match #3 PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

The phenomenon known as Jill Berg comes into PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 as a successful businesswoman and one woman force of political destruction.  She faces young C.J. Lewis.  Lewis, a former waitress at Hooter’s,  charged up to the top of the Democratic ranks by defeating long time standard bearer Kathryn Randall Collins to gain a shot at the PCW Women’s title against Berg.

Democrats want this match badly to continue their ‘Republican‘s War Against Women’ mantra.  Can Lewis overcome her lack of experience and pull off an upset win over Berg?

Lewis in the ring, ready to go.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd roars.

Suave: “THAT’ SOUND!  IT COULD ONLY MEAN ONE PERSON!”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman – Ms. Berg.   It’s time.

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry.

Suave: “IT’S PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION- JILL BERG!”

The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder.  He flips it on.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Berg hits the ring, warmed up and ready to go after the earlier altercation.

The bell rings and Berg wastes no time going on the attack. Reverse neckbreaker to Lewis followed by a rolling elbow smash.   Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash and the women’s champion is on fire.  At ringside, Code Pink and Emily S List watch as Berg spinkicks Lewis.   C.J. pokes Berg in the eyes to relieve the pressure.  C.J. with a neck scissors but Berg mule kicks her and sends her sprawling.  Berg rolls onto Lewis connecting with a knee.  Code Pink and List interfere and hit a doubleteam gutbuster on the women’s champion. C.J. Lewis gets back to her feet and stares down Code Pink and List.  Berg pops back up and throws her into the turnbuckle.  Berg follows up and smashes Lewis’s head into the corner turnbuckle.

Double axhandle chop from Berg.  Running neckbreaker drop takes C.J. down hard.  Berg locks Lewis in the kneebar but she escapes.  Berg then tosses Lewis out of the ring.  Berg rams Lewis into the corner turnbuckle and the challenger gets a cut as a result.   Berg goes for a belly-to-back superplex but Lewis slips out.  Berg instead hits the jumping sidekick on Lewis.

Suave- So far, Jill Berg’s experience is way too much for the youngster C.J. Lewis.

Back in the ring, Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash.  Berg moves in for the kill but Lewis bites her arm out of desparation.  C.J. whips Berg off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block. Lewis with a headbutt and then a short lariat takes the women’s champion down.

Berg spins and hits Lewis with a back fist.  C.J. whipped hard off the ropes into a clothesline.  Diving elbow smash follows.  Berg grabs C.J.’s head and slams her face into the turnbuckle.  She goes to do it again but this time, Lewis blocks and then drives Berg’s head into the turnbuckle.  Belly-to-belly superplex by Lewis.

Suave- Now the challenger coming back!

Bridging back suplex by Lewis.  She covers…1…2…shoulder up.  Lewis chants start.  Lewis with the body slam.  Cover…1…2…shoulder up again.   Berg rakes her fingers across C.J.’s back. Code Pink and Emily S List again attack.  Doubleteam backbreak to the champion.  Code Pink is going for the Glitter Bomb but wait?

Melissa Joan Hart in the ring with a steel chair.  *WHAP* Down goes Code Pink.  *WHAP*  Down goes List.  Lewis distracted.  Berg back up and chops Lewis.  Berg takes a step back…SPEAR!  She takes a step back…SPINNING HEEL KICK!  Berg lifts Lewis over her shoulder…JACKHAMMER SLAM!  Cover.  Referee counts. …1 …2 …3!

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg ®

Suave- UNBELIEVABLE!  CODE PINK AND EMILY S LIST ARE GOING TO BE PISSED WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY’VE COST C.J. LEWIS THE MATCH!  HELL, LEWIS IS GOING TO BE PISSED!

Lewis stands up and glares at both Code Pink and List after the match.

MATCH #4  Denny Rehberg (R-MT) vs. Jon Tester (D-MT)

Rehberg and Tester will meet in what has been a hotly competitive run up to their Extreme Election Night match.

Tester is the incumbent member of the PCW Executive Committee while Rehberg currently holds a spot on PCW’s Competition Committee.  This is expected to be a knock down, drag out affair with both men seemingly equally matched.

The difference maker in the match could be a third man- Libertarian Dan Cox.  Will Cox be a spoiler and help Tester pull out the win?

Tester starts by bouncing Reiberg off the ropes and clotheslining him. Tester puts Reiberg in an arm grapevine submission but Reiberg pokes Tester in the eyes to escape. Reiberg gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Tester comes over and rams Reiberg’s head into the corner turnbuckle.  Tester goes for a DDT.  But Reiberg stands up and hits Tester with the belly-to-belly suplex.  Reiberg measures Tester up and drops a closed fist.  Then Reiberg whips him out of the ring.

Tester climbs back up onto the ring apron, but Reiberg kicks him back down to the arena floor. Reiberg follows Tester to the outside.  Tester whips Reiberg into the ring steps.  Reiberg gets back to his feet, but Tester attacks again and rolls Reiberg back into the ring.

Dan Cox (L) now walking to the ring.

Tester locks in a rear chin lock in the middle of the ring.   Boot the face by Tester and a cover for a two count.  Tester works over Reiberg.  Cox comes out and tries to stun gun Reiberg.  Reiberg reverse and slings Cox out of the ring.  Tester bails out too and REIBERG DIVES OUT ON BOTH OF THEM!

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Cox tries to run Reiberg into the post.   Reiberg reverses.  He whips Cox into the ring post.  Cox stops in his tracks but Reiberg dropkicks him from behind, sending him hard into the steel!

Crowd- PCW! PCW! PCW!

Back in the ring, Tester hits a few suplexes.  Reiberg spins out of a tilt a whirl attempt by Tester and dropkicks him. Tester with a lariat and goes to Irish whip him into the ropes but Reiberg headbutts him and gets free.  He goes for the splash off the top but Tester moves to safety.  Reiberg surprises Tester with a low blow and rolls-up Tester- he kicks out.  Tester pops up ready to go but Reiberg hits him with the DDT! TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN! Cox comes in to go after Reiberg but HITS TESTER BY ACCIDENT! REIBERG PINS BUT TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN.

Reiberg brawls with Cox to the outside.  By the time he returns to the ring, Tester’s had way too much time to recover.  Tester in control and throws Reiberg into the railing.  Tester suplexes the actual railing back onto Reiberg.

Crowd- HOLY ****!  HOLY ****!

Tester drags Reiberg back to the ring.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jon Tester (D)

Republican War Room Republican Leader Reince Priebus anxiously paces back and forth while his pollsters crunch the numbers.

Both Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) burst into the room.

McConnell- Jesus, we’re getting killed out there, Reince!  I thought this was in the bag.

Preibus- That’s what I was told.

Boehner- Now I’m hearing rumors that PCW Owner Bubba Jackson is seriously favoring returning Barack Obama for another four year term as PCW CEO.

Preibus- We’re working on it.

The pollsters hits the phones and try to find out just what the hell is going on.

Suave- So far, the Democrats have the upper hand and this next match is crucial.  Let’s go to the ring.

Match 5: Sherrod Brown (D-OH) vs. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006, Sherrod Brown (D-OH) was the outsider taking on entrenched Mike DeWine (R-OH) for a berth on the PCW Executive Committee.

Now the tables have turned and Brown is the insider trying to fight off the challenge of young Josh Mandel (R-OH) and keep his seat.  Can Brown’s experience and guile overcome Mandel’s youthfulness?   The run up has been harsh and contentious and the match at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 promises to be the same.

Kimber Marshall makes the introductions.  Former PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) join Sherrod Brown at ringside and they taunt the young Mandel before the bell rings.

Brown immediately on the offense and places Mandel on the turnbuckle.  Front-layout superplex.  Mandel tries a spinning leg lariat on Brown who ducks it.  Brown hits Mandel with the double arm DDT into the mat and then connects with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Brown climbs to his feet and covers Mandel hooking the leg …1 …2 Mandel kicks out.  Brown grabs Mandel and applies an arm wrench.  Brown covers Mandel. …1 …2 Mandel kicks out again.  Brown hits the German Suplex on Mandel. He knees Mandel and rolls him out of the ring into the waiting arms of Big Union.

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker work Mandel over.  Brown joins in and elbows the midsection. Big Labor lifts Mandel up…powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Big Labor rolls Mandel back into the ring.  Brown makes the academic cover…1..2…3.

WINNER: Sherrod Brown (D)

Nate Silver runs out and shouts that “he was right,” “he was right.”  Suave reminds everyone that we won’t know until later on who will be the PCW CEO.

Suave- The Democrats pick up another one as Brown’s experience rules the day.

‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor gets on the mic after the match.

Big Labor- Scott Walker’s Rangers!  Did you see what happened here?  This is going to happen to you!

BACKSTAGE Vince McMahon tries to get to PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office but security blocks his way.

McMahon- DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?  I’M VINCE ******* McMAHON!  I’VE MADE MORE MONEY OFF PRO WRESTLING IN ONE HOUR THEN THIS PIECE OF **** POLITICAL FEDERATION WILL EVER MAKE IN IT’S LIFETIME.   THERE’S-

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall.  He grabs McMahon by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

MATCH #6 Claire McCaskill (D-MO) vs. Todd Akin (R-MO)

In Missouri, Claire McCaskill (D-MO) is defending her spot on the PCW Executive against challenger Todd Akin (R-MO).

Early on, the conventional wisdom was that McCaskill was vulnerable.  However, once Akin opened up a big can of controversy over his ‘legitimate rape’ remarks, McCaskill has climbed back into the contest.  Can McCaskill close the deal or will Akin somehow manage to overcome his own missteps to win a spot on the Executive Committee.

McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Claire McCaskill (D)

Once again, Nate Silver runs out and shouts “I told ya!  I told ya!”

Backstage Claire McCaskill high fives an aide as she makes her to the back.  She’s confronted by Richard Mourdock (R-IN).

Mourdock- I can’t believe you did that to him.

Replay: McCaskill vs. Akin McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

Mourdock- That was totally not called for.  Totally not- OOOF.

McCaskill splits the uprights with a well placed kick and drops Mourdock.

Republican Locker Room “The Mastermind” Karl Rove, as always, pointing to his temple to make sure everyone realizes he’s a f****** genius,  is doing his best to keep a semblance of order.

Suave- Yeah, good luck with that.

Democratic Locker Room Talking with Stephanie Cutter, David Axelrod isn’t nearly as concerned about the welfare of his mustache as he was earlier in the night.

Axelrod- It’s time to unleash the GOTV.

Suave- We’re ready for our next match and it should be a good one.

Match #7 Tim Kaine (D-VA) vs. George Allen (R-VA) George Allen (R-VA) lost a tough match six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006 to James Webb (D-VA).

Tonight, Allen looks to return to the PCW Executive Committee as he takes on former Democratic Leader Tim Kaine (D-VA). This will be another bellwether match to gauge whether the Republicans will regain control of the Executive Committee and there’s a lot riding on the result.

Suave- I’m not sure if it’s as much of a bellwether now.  It’s clear the Democrats are going to hold the PCW Executive Committee and the Republicans the Competition Committee.

Following Kimber Marshall’s introductions, the bell rings.  Kaine comes out on fire and nails Allen repeatedly with right hands.  Allen whipped into the corner.  Kaine places Allen on the turnbuckle- front-layout suplex.  Kaine gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Allen.  Kaine sweeps Allen’s leg and rolls onto him with a knee.  Allen gets right up and nails Kaine with an inverted DDT. He sends Kaine to ringside and follows.  Allen throws a chair at Kaine.  High crossbody by Allen.  Kaine punched in the gut but Kaine comes back with a rake to the eyes and heads back to the ring.  Allen follows but gets pulled back to the floor by the Democrats GOTV (Grapple to Total Victory)- consisting of Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy.

Hey, it was the best we could come up with.

Bain lifts Allen and hits a running powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Bain and O’Kennedy roll Allen back into the ring.  Belly to belly by Kaine.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Tim Kaine (D)

Nate Silver again runs out to proclaim that “he was right.”

Republican Locker Room ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove can’t believe it.   Republican Leader Reince Preibus can’t believe it.  He again turns to the pollsters.

Preibus – What’s going on here?

Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly walks in.

O’Reilly- I’ll tell you what’s going on.  You’re getting your ass kicked.

Preibus- Where are the Independents?

BACKSTAGE Speaking of PCW’s Independent/Unaffiliated contingent, they enter through a back door into Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon led by ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan.

An aide comes up to Escondido and tells him that Barack Obama wants to talk with him.  Escondido nods and leaves with the aide while Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Ken Worth- The American Trucker wait.

Suave- Here are the Black Swamp Pirates!”

The crowd stands and cheers as the Pirates come out and plug themselves in. The lead singer, Junior Jackson, strums his acoustic guitar and steps up to the mic.

Jackson- Y’all know this one.  This is our ode to Keith Olbermann.  It’s called ‘Keith.’ Jackson (sings): Keith, you hit it big at ESPN But then your tenure there came to an abrupt end I know it seems so silly They won’t let you back in the building Even when you went back, and worked for them again

“Keith, you didn’t let them keep you down So you traveled on from town to different town Fox Sports didn’t work out well MSNBC the first time was hell Cause Bill Clinton, and Monica was going down “But on Countdown, you found the thing that finally worked So you became even more of an overbearing elitist jerk And now you just don’t care Compared to you Fox News is balanced and fair And you make good ol’ Ann Coulter seem almost moderate to us

All right, let’s go now…

(Big Chorus)

“Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

Jackson- All right, everyone follow the bouncing ball and sing along!

"Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile And Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe You said, I was the worst person in the world But you’re still the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd give them a standing ovation. Johnny Suave even gives them a standing ovation.

Match #8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) vs. Scott Brown (R-MA) Two years ago, Brown (R-MA) upset Martha Coakley (D-MA) for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. This year, he finds himself in a battle royale with challenger Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).

Warren, who has Democratic political wrestling stalwarts Code Pink and Emily S List in her corner, is pushing hard to return the Massachusett’s seat back to the Democrats.

Can Brown hold off Warren’s challenge?  Will Warren pick off a seat the Republicans need to take back control of the PCW Executive Committee?   We’ll find out in just four days at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

Warren trips up Brown and then hits a corkscrew legdrop.  Brown climbs to his feet and kicks Warren in the groin.  She drops like a shot.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  DID HE JUST DO WHAT I THOUGHT HE DID?

Warren jumps back up and kicks Brown in the groin just as the Democratic GOTV hits the ring again.  Bain bounces Brown off the ropes and faceslams him onto the mat.  Paddy O’Kennedy gives Brown a reverse neckbreaker.  Bain nails Brown with a huge slingshot sommersault splash.

Suave- The Democrat’s GOTV is kicking ass.  Where’s the Republican answer?

Republican Locker Room Reince Preibus is talking with a rather large gentleman…as in really large.

Preibus- ORCA.  I need you to get in there and take out the GOTV.

ORCA nods and lumbers out the door.

Back ringside,  Brown brawls outside with O’Kennedy but not for long.  Bain sets up a pair of chairs in the ring and powerbombs Brown on them. Warren brings a table into play.  Belly to belly from Bain sends Brown through the table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus is furious.

Preibus- Where the **** is ORCA?

Cut to…

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus- SON OF A BITCH!

Back in the ring, Bain rolls what’s left of Brown in and Warren makes the academic cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)

PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) join Warren and the GOTV in the ring to celebrate.

And yes, Nate Silver again runs out and…yeah.

At ringside, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews is just giddy as the Democrats not only hold the PCW Executive Committee but Barack Obama appear to be on the verge of a second term as PCW CEO.

Matthews- Thank God that hurricane came along!

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Matthews- NO!  I didn’t mean it like that!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down to ringside.   Matthews tries to run for it but WTF grabs him by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

BACKSTAGE

PCW’s Towel Boy returns from cleaning the ring ropes and jokes that the Republicans are as dead as the Los Angeles Lakers.

Suddenly, Kobe Bryant walks in and…

Kobe Death Stare

Suave- DON’T LOOK!  DON’T LOOK!

Towel Boy drops dead quicker than the Lakers pulled the plug on Mike Brown this season.

Suave- HE LOOKED!

Meanwhile…

THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (D), pointing to his temple to remind everyone just how much of a f****** genius he is, continues to try to reassure the Republicans that everything’s okay…

…and it’s not working.

MATCH #9 PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker ® © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Ever since Scott Walker’s Rangers won the PCW Tag Team belts at the Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 pay per view, Big Union and the Democrats have been gunning for a return match.  Tonight at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the two combustible forces will smash into each other with only one team leaving the ring as the PCW Tag Team champions.

Kimber Marshall – Our next match is for the PCW Tag Team Title.  On the way to the ring at this time, ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker!!!

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, accompanied by the Democrats’ GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy, PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi, come to the ring.

Kimber Marshall – and their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Scott Walker (R-WI), they are the PCW Tag Team Champions- the team of Ronnie Walker and John Walker, Scott Walker’s Rangers!

Ronnie Walker and John Walker walk to the ring with Scott Walker.

Suave- This is it…Big Union has been waiting for this match and tonight they get their shot at regaining the PCW Tag Team Title.

PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) join Scott Walker ringside as the bell sounds.

Ronnie Walker charges across the ring and nails Big Labor with a charging axhandle bodyblock.  Ronnie springs off the ropes but this time Big Labor clotheslines him.  Ronnie Walker tries to come back with a jawbreakeron but Big Labor pushes him off.  Big Labor tackles Ronnie Walker and punches him repeatedly.

Suave – Big Labor trying to use his power and strength against Ronnie Walker.

Ronnie tries a waistlock suplex but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  Big Labor throws him out to the floor.  Big Labor follows and tells Ronnie he wants to wrestle.  Then he promptly nails Ronnie with a folding chair.  Big Labor with a backdrops and Paddy O’Kennedy of the Democratic GOTV follows with a pescado.  Big Labor decides to get mean and dumps Ronnie Walker on the rail. Big Labor throws him over the rail into the crowd. The fight heads out into the fans for a brawl.  Big Labor takes it up a notch by powerbombing Ronnie Walker on the floor.

Suave- Well, he’s dead. It’s over.

The crowd calls for Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up Crew.

Nurse Nellie

Big Labor calls for the bell saying it’s over.  But somehow Boehner and McConnell roll Ronnie back in.

Big Labor chases Boehner and McConnell from the ring and turns and shoulder tackles Ronnie Walker.  Ronnie Walker then whipped into the corner.  He stumbled back out and right into a gut-wrench powerbomb.  Ronnie tries to crawl to his corner but James the Jeep Worker slips in and pulls him across the ring.  Big Labor goes to the top and drops the Elbow on Ronnie Walker.  Cover…1…2…John Walker in for the save.

Suave- JOHN WALKER JUST MAKES THE SAVE AND NOW HE’S BRAWLING WITH JAMES THE JEEP WORKER.

John and James roll out of the ring and spill onto the floor.  Ronnie Walker tries for a crotch slam but can’t lift Big Labor.   Samoan Drop by Big Labor and Ronnie Walker is down. John Walker back in.  Big Labor clotheslines John Walker. Ronnie Walker blasts Big Labor from behind with a chairshot and pummels his head.  Ronnie Walker drops a closed fist.  Now James the Jeep Worker in and he tackles Ronnie Walker.  Big Labor sends Ronnie Walker into the turnbuckle.  In comes Bain and he splashes Ronnie Walker.  Now, O’Kennedy back in.  Spinning neck-breaker sends Ronnie to the mat.

Suave- No doubt about it.  The Democrats’ GOTV is kicking serious ass here tonight.  What happened to the Independents?

In a back hallway Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and the rest of the Independents were sprawled over the floor with the Chicago Boss Squad and the Department of Justice  standing over them.

Suave- Oh…

Big Labor pulls Ronnie Walker up.  James the Jeep Worker in- swinging bulldog on drives Ronnie’s face to the mat.  John Walker again in the ring but he gets intercepted by O’Kennedy.  Ronnie Walker tries for a inverted backbreaker but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  But Big Labor can…Powerslam! Powerslam! Powerslam! Big Labor flings sweat at Ronnie and hits a fourth powerslam.

Mitch McConnell is audibly heard shouting into a cell phone, “Where the **** is ORCA?”

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s STILL patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

RINGSIDE McConnell- SON OF A BITCH!

Big Labor with a spine buster to Ronnie Walker.  He lifts Ronnie Walker and drops him with a ScabBuster.  Cover…1   John Walker in for one last try but  gets Picket Lined by James the Jeep Worker.  …2…3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Reid, Pelosi, and the GOTV mob Big Union in the ring after the referee gave them the PCW Tag Team belts.

Suave- Two time PCW Tag Team Champions- Big Union regains the belts here at PCW Extreme Election Night.

BACKSTAGE ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, slightly disheveled now, insists to anyone who’ll listen that it’s still not over.

Rove- There’s something not right about this-

CUE: Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT…AGAIN!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall. He grabs Rove by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

As yet again, the PCW clean up crew comes down to clean the mess left behind, Suave again reviews the results up to date:

Match 1- Jeff Flake (R-AZ) def. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) with an assist from ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain and Jon Kyl.

Match 2- Chris Murphy (D-CT) def. Linda McMahon (R-CT) after the referee ejected McMahon’s husband, WWE Magnate Vince McMahon and her family from ringside.

Match 3- Jill Berg ® retained the PCW Women’s title over C.J. Lewis (D) when Code Pink and Emily S List’s interference backfired thanks to a hand from Melissa Joan Hart.

Match 4- Jon Tester (D-MT) def. Denny Rehberg (R-MT)

Match 5- Sherrod Brown (D-OH) def. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Match 6- Claire McCaskill (D-MO) def. Todd Akin (R-MO)

Match 7- Tim Kaine (D-VA) def. George Allen (R-VA)

Match 8- Elizabeth Warren (R-MA) def. Scott Brown (R-MA)

Match 9- Big Union: “The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) to win the PCW Tag Team Title.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE No movement yet.  Security continues to stand guard outside the door.

HALLWAY Karl Rove (R) keeps trying to keep everyone calm.

Back to the ring.

Suave- And now, it all comes down to this.  The PCW Title match.  Let’s go to the ring.

MAIN EVENT- PCW Title Match: Triple R (D)© vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Finally, the big one- the PCW Title match.  After several years of trying, after switching parties multiple times and trying new personas, Triple R  finally won the title from The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention.

Now, the veteran Angry Highway Warrior also known as Road Range Randy gets boy banker P.M.C. Banks ® as his first major challenge as PCW Champion.  In a match that always serves as a bellwether to who will be selected the next PCW CEO, Banks finds himself the underdog to Triple R. in this Tuesday’s title encounter.

Can the young Banks close out Triple R’s title run at a scant two months? Will Triple R take it to the political extreme and retain his PCW Title belt? We’re about to find out.

Marshall- This next match is for the PCW Title. Coming to the ring, the challenger from the financial district of Manhattan, Republican P.M.C. Banks!

Banks slowly comes to the ring accompanied by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), aide de camp candidate Paul Ryan (R-WI), PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Boehner’s aide Eric Cantor (R-VA), and Mitch ‘It’s Your Constitiutional Right to Spend as Much Money as You Want to Buy Influence in Our Government’ McConnell (R-KY).

Banks warily climbs into the ring.

Marshall- And his opponent, he is the ‘Angry Highway Warrior.  He is Road Rage Randy.  But you can call him the P-C-W Champion!  Triple R!

Triple R comes to the ring with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL), Obama’s aide de camp Joe ‘Don’t Call Me Neil Kinnock’ Biden (D-DE), PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry ‘Don’t Call Me Emperor Palpatine’ Reid (D-NV), and Nancy Pelosi.

Triple R goes to the center of the ring and offers his hand to Banks.  Banks cautiously reciprocates but Triple R pulls it away at the last second and knifehand chops the challenger.  The bell rings and it’s on.

Banks runs out and Triple R takes him down with a knee. The champion goes for an arm grapevine submission but Banks gets back to his feet.  Triple R slaps Banks and taunts him.  Triple R picks up Banks and front slams him to the mat. He hooks the leg for an early cover but Banks kicks out.  Banks gets thrown into the turnbuckle.  Triple R comes over and smashes Banks’s head into it and then brings Banks back out and hits jumping neck snap.  Triple R goes top rope but Banks recovers and pulls him down hard to the mat.  Banks drops Triple R neck first over the ropes and then sends him to ringside.  Banks does a cartwheel and kicks Triple R in the face.  Kneeling headbutt to Triple R’s groin.

Suave- And they’re outside.  Not sure this is a good idea for Banks.

Banks starts to head back into the ring but again, the Democrats GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy (D) come down and interject themselves into the match. Bain pulls Banks back through the ropes and then wings him hard into the guardrail.   O’Kennedy leaps from the ring apron and dropkicks Banks into the guardrail.  Triple R grabs a TV cable and starts choking out Banks with it.  Romney climbs up on the apron to complain but…

Candy Crowley of CNN

Suave- WHAT THE HELL? CROWLEY’S STOPPING ROMNEY FROM ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE?

While that’s going on, Triple R starts bashing Banks with crap and then lays him over the rail before dropping a leg.   O’Kennedy sets up a table and Triple R can drive Bank’s head through it.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Banks is bleeding all over the place.  O’Kennedy dropkicks a chair into Banks’ face for good measure.  Banks falls back on his arm awkwardly and appears to have injured it.  Triple R wastes no time and goes after the injured arm with chairshots.  Triple R with the DDT.  The GOTV set up a table.  Triple R sets Banks up but O’Kennedy miscues and accidently superkicks Triple R.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  He just took Triple R’s head off.

But O’Kennedy moonsaults Banks.  New PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker run down and set Banks up on the table.  O’Kennedy with another moonsault but the table doesn’t break.  Big Labor throws Banks back into the ring.  Triple R covers but only gets two.  Big Labor  immediately hits the Scabbuster and Triple R covers…1…2…NO!  ORCA?  ORCA MADE THE SAVE?

Suave- Well, it’s bloody about time he did something.

It’s shortlived.  Both the GOTV and Big Union attack ORCA and drive him from the ring.  Triple R sets up the table in the corner and whips Banks through it.  Cover…1…2…Banks kicks out.  Triple R stomps Banks.  Double arm DDT by the champion and another cover..1…2..somehow Banks kicks out again.  Banks then low bridges Triple R and rallies.  He rains down right hands on the champion.  Banks for the Moneybomb and hits it…but MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Ed Schultz race to the ring and complain to the referee.  That brings down Fox News’s contingent of Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, and Megyn Kelly and while Banks has Triple R pinned, MSNBC, joined by ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox News argue with the referee.

Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver sneaks into the ring and whaps Banks in the head with a large book of spreadsheets and Triple R manages to regain control of the match.  Triple R with a forearm. And another.  Banks ducks a third so Triple R hits a sit down powerbomb!  Pissed off, Triple R leaves the ring and goes and gets the ring bell. The referee tries to take it away from him.

Suave- TRIPLE R WITH THE RING BELL!  HE DID THE EXACT SAME THING FIVE YEARS AGO AT LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 3!

Replay: PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A FREAKIN’ RUMBLE!” Somewhere away from the crowd, Starz’s lariat attempt is blocked when Triple R rips the bell away from the referee and slams it in Starz’s face. Suave: “GAME OVER! ONE, TWO, THREE! THAT’S IT! TRIPLE R HAS REGAINED THE PCW TITLE.!”

Triple R in the ring with the bell.  Romney and Ryan both on the apron to complain to the referee and…what?

Martha Raddatz

Suave- What is SHE doing down here?

Triple R blasts Banks with the bell.  Raddatz shouts at the referee and points to the ring.  The referee turns and Triple R has Banks pinned…1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Triple R (D)

The Democrats in the crowd are ecstatic.  The Republicans?  Stunned.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE

The door opens and out walks PCW Owner Bubba Jackson.

Suave- IT’S TIME!  BUBBA JACKSON IS ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!

Crowd- PCW…PCW…PCW!

Obama, Triple R, and the Democrats celebrate in the ring.

Suave- AND NOW, IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT IF BARACK OBAMA GETS FOUR MORE YEARS AT THE HELM OF PCW OR WHETHER MITT ROMNEY WILL TAKE HIS PLACE!

Silver takes the microphone from Suave.

Silver- I ALREADY TOLD YOU ALL.  THESE SPREADSHEETS PROVE THAT OBAMA WILL BE NAMED THE PCW CEO AGAIN.  I TOLD YOU…I TOLD YOU ALL…I TOLD-

CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!  HERE COMES THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races to the ring.  He grabs Silver by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- Thank you.  And now, it’s time…

PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON ANNOUNCES THE NEW PCW CEO Jackson thanks everyone for coming out.

Jackson- We’ve been through a lot over the past four years.  The deficit is way too high and PCW is not on the soundest economic ground right now.

David Axelrod says the conditions were bad when Obama started his term in 2009.

Jackson- No.  George W. Bush hasn’t been the PCW CEO for the past four years.   This was a tough call but I have come to a decision.  The PCW mid and lower card wrestlers are struggling hard right now.  Mitt Romney.  You ran a good campaign but in the end- what solutions to our problems did you propose differed than the ones Republicans have proposed in the past?  Cut taxes?  These times call for breaking out of the same old ideas.

Jackson motions to Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Republicans John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to step forward.

Jackson- You along with the current, and next, PCW CEO Barack Obama helped make this mess.  You need to fix it.   It’s Obama.

The Democrats erupt as Obama wins a second term as PCW CEO.   Obama and Romney shake hands in the ring as the scene dissolves to the Des Moines International Airport in Des Moines, Iowa.

Marco Rubio (R-FL)

Rubio exits a plane and climbs into a waiting limo.

[whatsapalisade]

27/06/2023

Alex Greenwald & Lola Dompe in Elle magazine, via @/lolaroses

On the left side mentioned: Travis Graves, Z Berg, Tennessee Thomas, Charlotte Froom, Nate Beal, Mike McCormack, and Carrick Moore Garety.

I’m guessing this was around 2006-ish, not sure, I’m still trying to find the full spread online.

[hotnew-pt]

Resultados das eleições para o Senado dos EUA no Texas em 2024: Ted Cruz vence #ÚltimasNotícias

Hot News Fonte: Os resultados eleitorais e as convocatórias da corrida são da Associated Press. Pela equipe de resultados eleitorais do The New York Times: Michael Andre, Emma Baker, Neil Berg, Andrew Chavez, Michael Beswetherick, Matthew Bloch, Lily Boyce, Irineo Cabreros, Nico Chilla, Nate Cohn, Alastair Coote, Annie Daniel, Saurabh Datar, Leo Dominguez, Tiff Fehr, Andrew Fischer, Martín…

[thefandomjournalist]

The Sets of Barbie, and Why it Deserved Better 

I will be discussing the summer blockbuster Barbie and analyzing its production design. It draws inspiration from classic old Hollywood cinema, big budget glamor, childhood imagination, and so much pink. It’s a fantastic vision in plastic. In reality, it has so many elements combating for attention in the relatively short runtime that they don’t mesh together. The acting doesn’t hold up to the costumes, and the writing doesn’t stand out among its colorful world. Even the set design, while able to be praised in a certain point of view for its outstanding detail and reference to fifties Hollywood sets and dollhouse designs, only serves to highlight the lack of camp and emphasis in the actual film. 

It’s a different direction for director Greta Gerwig and a massive shift for Barbie’s production designer Sarah Greenwood. Gerwig is most known for directing the hit drama film Ladybird and Little Women. Meanwhile Greenwood is also known for designing darker, more grounded films like Atonement and Disney’s live action Beauty and the Beast. In that way, Greenwood has previous experience translating a fictional animated concept to a gritter realistic take. Like Beauty and the Beast, it was well received by mass audiences but heavily criticized from hardcore fans and film buffs alike. While scores on Rotten Tomatoes seem favorable, their credibility has been put into question as of late. The scores on Letterboxd, a self proclaimed film fan site filled with serious fanatics, are less than favorable. Barbie’s case is similar, with favorable reviews across sites like Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB, and while its rating of 3.9 on Letterboxd is still good, the bad reviews are vicious. 

For my two cents, I think the execution does not hold up to its potential. It disappoints me more than Margot Robbie’s incredibly average performance. The production design is the biggest perpetrator of this. The beginning of the film primarily holds us in Barbie’s world. It’s camp, colorful, high concept, and full of personality. But the further we go into the film, this personality feels emptier and shallower. The colorful world that serves as a character in its own right is revealed to be empty and lacking heart. We don’t even know where the Kens go. Details are forgotten in the name of dance parties and drama. Glittery outfits and the same feminist spiel we get from a first level women’s studies class. Some of this can be said to be done in the name of the film’s feminist message, with the lack of thought towards the Kens emphasizing their reduced positions and low importance in this world. The lack of detail in the Barbie's inner lives serves to emphasize the shallow flawed ideals they live by. The sets reflect these ideas perfectly, using the usage or nonusage of certain elements of typical set design to convey this. But that’s just one reading of the film. A less generous take would call it laziness. 

Every home is pink, glittery, and missing walls and doors. They contain many false elements, like stickered backgrounds and plastic food. In an article on FastCompany by Nate Berg, we are told,  “Greenwood and Spencer scaled down all the rooms by 23%”. As someone who owned Barbies myself, the dolls always felt too big for the rooms. The production design in Barbieland, more than anything, reflects the real toys used with the dolls, unless we are forgetting the film is also a big advertisement. The perfection and lack of wear on anything at all, from the furniture to the cars and clothing, reminds us they are somewhat fictional plastic people that we are seeing. They are self-proclaimed stereotypes of people and careers. They aren’t supposed to have flaws. Even the lack of detail in the backgrounds and the somewhat simple outer elements of the land reference backgrounds like Mount Rushmore in historic film North by Northwest, a staple of Hollywood in the forties and fifties. 

When the film finally transitions into the real world, all of the magic is lost. Some of this is intentional, with the clear divide in the style of set and general design serving as a harsh cutoff between the two worlds. This is best shown in the transition between them: a montage of dollhouse-like sets, combined with cheesy Hollywood B-flick style props that perfectly expresses the campiness of Barbieland and the inspirations the film takes. This scene is everything the film touted itself to be, and if the whole movie was like this, I would have liked it much more. It was a mastery of set design dripping with talent and imagination. However this moment is quickly over as Barbie and Ken make it to the real city of Los Angeles. 

There is nothing special about the urban cityscape or general design of the backgrounds for this section of the film, which actually comes rather quickly. We get to the meat of the central conflict very quickly, which in a movie filled with so many plot points, is a smart move. We have the most fun with set design in the real world when we get to the Mattel building, rightly so being the home of Barbie. Every office and boardroom is delightfully over-designed and filled with props and furniture that emphasizes the coldness of the running of Mattel, compared to its central message. The main boardroom with the heads of Mattel is central to this section of the film, with its grand design and enormous table making Barbie look small and all the other men in it besides Will Ferrell’s character look small and unified. They are meant to look like part of a group; an unknown mass of lackey’s that do what they’re told. This is expertly carried over when they continue to move as a group for the rest of the film. When Barbie rejects the choice they made for her, the ensuing chase takes us through the rest of the building. We pass an array of rooms that expertly reflect the cliche of sterile, lifeless, and uniform corporate offices. Rows and rows of identical cubicles, colder lighting, minimal props, and similarly dressed workers are seen. This allows the film to play more with things like movement, and they use this to their advantage to mimic classic musical choreography. The use of lines and symmetry in the cubicles and hallways makes Barbie stand out greatly in comparison to the uniform sets. 

We are given another complete shift in production design when we enter the kitchen of a woman revealed to be Ruth Handler, the creator of Barbie herself in 1959. This is where the heart of the film lies, and it shows in the attention to detail and love given to Handler’s kitchen. As the effective ‘mother’ of Barbie, her home is made to look warm and inviting. It’s what you picture when you think of an elderly grandmother’s house, bathed in nostalgic golden light and anachronistic props. Every cup and dish rag was thought of, and while not an exact replica of Handler’s real home, accurately reflects what homes would have looked like. Although Handler wouldn’t have been that age in the fifties, the time period the kitchen is set in. This still works to show the otherworldly of the set, and tells us its a place removed from time and created from memories. With her table littered in fabric and designs, we are shown she is a creator, someone important before we know her true identity. Despite the lack of knowledge of her true name, we know that she is wise, who understands Barbie and holds power as a woman. She helps Barbie on her way, and we are left with a sense of a fading memory, a home we don’t know anymore. 

When Barbie returns to Barbieland, it has been taken over by the Kens. The physical dollhouses the Barbies lived in have not changed, but the details have been reversed to reflect the false machismo that the Kens are trying to emulate. This is where the film gets incredibly divisive, relying on intense stereotypes and caricatures of what makes a mostly American man. Most of this is done in service of the idea of the inherent toxicity in America’s perception of manhood. Trucks, beer, eagles, sports, and mansplaining abound. However in the eyes of many, including myself, it was insensitively handled. It has a good heart, with an honest core message that is greatly misunderstood, largely because of its lack of tact in delivering that message. This is reflected in the set, with the Barbies' homes simply having their sequined pillows switched out for leather ones, their pink corvettes swapped for big trucks, and their fifties decor swapped for flatscreens and mini coolers; Everything one would expect from a frat house or typical man cave. It’s cliche and delivers the message too hard, so many came from the film thinking of it as anti men and toxically feminist. These views are best summarized in an article on The Los Angeles Times by Matt Pearce called ‘Commentary: Barbie Haters Misunderstand What It Takes to Be Kenough’. We are told that the film is too anti-men by many people, like alt-right commentators Ben Shapiro, film critic Kyle Smith, and conservative talking head Candance Owens. “All men suck” is what rings most loud and clear to those unaccustomed to modern feminist theory.   

Despite this, that simply isn’t true. It never was. The movie is critical, harsh and unafraid to be mocking to make its point. The production design of the Kens world highlights the ridiculous nature of the characters they are embodying. Their clothes, their cars, and their homes look stupid because the idea of a man they are trying to be is stupid. In the end, the Kens find acceptance in themselves and revert to their classic colors and styles. However, for my part, they didn’t go far enough with the design. In a sense, the set design was lacking, so that it wasn’t obvious enough it was a joke. Because of that, the truth of the film's core message is swept away in favor of a typical girl power moment and matching jumpsuits. 

After this, we see Handler again, and Barbie makes the final choice to become human. We get no significant production design moments, except the lack thereof in the moment that Barbie comes to life, the white void shows us she is in a world between worlds. The lack of set, with only glowing lights for company, pulls the focus entirely to our characters, and this final choice: Barbie has her moment, and the last set we see is a fancy-looking gynecologist's office. 

My biggest gripe with Barbie in the end is that it didn’t do enough. It wasn’t feminist enough, spoon feeding us basics for the sake of mass audiences. It wasn’t campy, fun or exciting enough. The production design worked so well in several parts of the film, largely doing the heavy lifting for the film's tone and energy level. However there is so much potential that could have gone to more scenes like the expertly done ‘I’m Just Ken’ sequence. Eventually Barbieland gets old and the real world is mostly uninteresting. After the set's initial showing, the wow factor wears off and it becomes monotonous and unnoticeable. The expert work of Greenwood and everyone involved in production design deserved more of a chance to experiment and play in such a unique world with all its high concept ideas and exciting potential. The film as a whole disappointed me in its lack of oomph. The masses may adore it, but all I see is a movie that fell just that short of its massive potential. 

[tarditardi]

Circus beatclub - Brescia, un grande weekend: 2/2 Samuele Sartini per Off Beat, 3/2 Crush con la Circus family

Venerdì 2 febbraio '24 al Circus beatclub - Brescia va in scena come sempre il party Off Beat. Alla voce c'è Francesco Sarzi, mentre come dj guest arriva Samuele Sartini.

Ci sono pochi artisti in Italia che riescono a conquistare il dancefloor Internazionale con il loro sound. Uno di questi è certamente Samuele Sartini. Tra i suoi più recenti successi c'è "Mas Que Nada", pubblicata su UMM la label house di Gianfranco Bortolotti.

Simbolo di classe ed efficacia, le sue produzioni sono frutto di un attento lavoro e di una spasmodica ricerca di sonorità e melodie, vantando la collaborazione di performer d'elite. Dagli esordi discografici con "Fly", "Real Love" featuring Michael Watford e "Let's Get Back The Feeling" affidato alla voce di CeCe Rogers passando per le club hit "Why" e "Love Shine", pubblicate con lo pseudonimo Sam Project, fino ad arrivare alle perle pop-house "Love U Seek" e "Back Again" interpretate da Amanda Wilson, la sua ascesa nel mercato non segna battute d'arresto. Proprio dalla fusione della voce di "Love U Seek" con la progressive track "Bromance" dello svedese Tim Berg aka Avicii nasce "Seek Bromance", un fenomeno planetario da oltre 60 milioni di visualizzazioni su YouTube edito su Ministry Of Sound, Armada e Kontor e celebrato in tutto il mondo con un doppio disco di platino e numerosi dischi d'oro; scelta dal Premio Oscar Clint Eastwood come una delle colonne sonore del suo film "The 15:17 To Paris". 

Il suo stile inconfondibile lo ha portato a remixare artisti del calibro di Armin Van Buuren, Bob Sinclar, Saint Motel, Roger Sanchez, Fragma, Calvin Harris, Paul Van Dyk, Inna, Ultra Nate e la Rock Star italiana Vasco Rossi, firmando le versioni che hanno fatto la differenza in pista come negli airplay.

E che succede sabato 3 febbraio 2024? Al Circus beatclub - Brescia per il party Crush suonano oppure danno energia  Dr.Space, About Gala, Simo Loda, Banza. E' la Circus family, perfetta per far divertire ogni party.

Circus beatclub - Brescia

Come ogni anno, ed è un vero record nel panorama italiano, anche per la stagione '23 - '24, Circus beatclub si rifà il look: alle pareti un color ghiaccio scuro perfetto per il futuro (e pure per il presente), impianto luci tutto nuovo, schermi e mirrorball che si muovono durante la serata, nuovi divani, nuova console a cui si accede in modo diverso... chi balla al Circus balla sempre nello stesso club, certo, ma proprio da questa stagione il club sarà sempre diverso grazie ad allestimenti, scenografie ed interventi particolare. 

Lo slogan mette energia: : "future is now", il futuro è adesso. Il ritmo del video disponibile sui social è forte ed elettronico, ma la voce che lo accompagna è calda, latina, come a mettere insieme la forza i suoni del futuro con la voglia di far tardi con il sorriso, con gli amici di sempre - è tutto visibile qui: Istagram.com/p/Cxa8uxktZYM/ -.

Il video che presenta la nuova stagione di Circus beatclub a Brescia in realtà inizia con il racconto di ciò che è stato: 25 anni di notti in via Dalmazia. Il locale infatti ha iniziato la sua lunga storia nel 1999. 25 anni di divertimento, dance, musica, show. Come scrive lo staff sui social, the Club is back. Con ben 4 serate molto diverse tra loro. 

Il giovedì è Rehab, con sonorità hip hop anche internazionali ed il ritmo di Jay K. La domenica Panorama porta in console per ogni serata un top dj italiano attivo in mezzo mondo che sarà resident di un appuntamento già molto atteso, dedicato ad un pubblico che si accontenta solo del meglio. Ecco poi il venerdì e il sabato, da sempre il cuore del divertimento pop al Circus beatclub, che è gestito anche in questa stagione '23 ' - '24 dal gruppo guidato da Antonio Gregori, lo stesso che ha portato al successo anche MOLO a Brescia, grande disco estiva ed il River a Soncino (Cremona), aperto tutto l'anno. Il venerdì al Circus è OffBeat, una notte dedicata a sonorità sempre diverse e scatenate, mentre il sabato è Crush, dedicato agli artisti della Circus Family: Toma e Brio alla voce, Dr.Space in console e tanti, tanti altri. 

///

Circus beatclub Brescia

www.circusbeatclub.com info@circusbeatclub.com 

info +39 333 210 5400 (WhatsApp)

Via Dalmazia 127, 25125 Brescia

ingresso a pagamento con consumazione

[eddy25960]

Nate Berg photography

[sounds-right]

Circus beatclub - Brescia, decolla il weekend: 2/2 Samuele Sartini per Off Beat, 3/2 Crush con la Circus family

Venerdì 2 febbraio '24 al Circus beatclub - Brescia va in scena come sempre il party Off Beat. Alla voce c'è Francesco Sarzi, mentre come dj guest arriva Samuele Sartini.

Ci sono pochi artisti in Italia che riescono a conquistare il dancefloor Internazionale con il loro sound. Uno di questi è certamente Samuele Sartini. Tra i suoi più recenti successi c'è "Mas Que Nada", pubblicata su UMM la label house di Gianfranco Bortolotti.

Simbolo di classe ed efficacia, le sue produzioni sono frutto di un attento lavoro e di una spasmodica ricerca di sonorità e melodie, vantando la collaborazione di performer d'elite. Dagli esordi discografici con "Fly", "Real Love" featuring Michael Watford e "Let's Get Back The Feeling" affidato alla voce di CeCe Rogers passando per le club hit "Why" e "Love Shine", pubblicate con lo pseudonimo Sam Project, fino ad arrivare alle perle pop-house "Love U Seek" e "Back Again" interpretate da Amanda Wilson, la sua ascesa nel mercato non segna battute d'arresto. Proprio dalla fusione della voce di "Love U Seek" con la progressive track "Bromance" dello svedese Tim Berg aka Avicii nasce "Seek Bromance", un fenomeno planetario da oltre 60 milioni di visualizzazioni su YouTube edito su Ministry Of Sound, Armada e Kontor e celebrato in tutto il mondo con un doppio disco di platino e numerosi dischi d'oro; scelta dal Premio Oscar Clint Eastwood come una delle colonne sonore del suo film "The 15:17 To Paris". 

Il suo stile inconfondibile lo ha portato a remixare artisti del calibro di Armin Van Buuren, Bob Sinclar, Saint Motel, Roger Sanchez, Fragma, Calvin Harris, Paul Van Dyk, Inna, Ultra Nate e la Rock Star italiana Vasco Rossi, firmando le versioni che hanno fatto la differenza in pista come negli airplay.

E che succede sabato 3 febbraio 2024? Al Circus beatclub - Brescia per il party Crush suonano oppure danno energia  Dr.Space, About Gala, Simo Loda, Banza. E' la Circus family, perfetta per far divertire ogni party.

Circus beatclub - Brescia

Come ogni anno, ed è un vero record nel panorama italiano, anche per la stagione '23 - '24, Circus beatclub si rifà il look: alle pareti un color ghiaccio scuro perfetto per il futuro (e pure per il presente), impianto luci tutto nuovo, schermi e mirrorball che si muovono durante la serata, nuovi divani, nuova console a cui si accede in modo diverso... chi balla al Circus balla sempre nello stesso club, certo, ma proprio da questa stagione il club sarà sempre diverso grazie ad allestimenti, scenografie ed interventi particolare. 

Lo slogan mette energia: : "future is now", il futuro è adesso. Il ritmo del video disponibile sui social è forte ed elettronico, ma la voce che lo accompagna è calda, latina, come a mettere insieme la forza i suoni del futuro con la voglia di far tardi con il sorriso, con gli amici di sempre - è tutto visibile qui: Istagram.com/p/Cxa8uxktZYM/ -.

Il video che presenta la nuova stagione di Circus beatclub a Brescia in realtà inizia con il racconto di ciò che è stato: 25 anni di notti in via Dalmazia. Il locale infatti ha iniziato la sua lunga storia nel 1999. 25 anni di divertimento, dance, musica, show. Come scrive lo staff sui social, the Club is back. Con ben 4 serate molto diverse tra loro. 

Il giovedì è Rehab, con sonorità hip hop anche internazionali ed il ritmo di Jay K. La domenica Panorama porta in console per ogni serata un top dj italiano attivo in mezzo mondo che sarà resident di un appuntamento già molto atteso, dedicato ad un pubblico che si accontenta solo del meglio. Ecco poi il venerdì e il sabato, da sempre il cuore del divertimento pop al Circus beatclub, che è gestito anche in questa stagione '23 ' - '24 dal gruppo guidato da Antonio Gregori, lo stesso che ha portato al successo anche MOLO a Brescia, grande disco estiva ed il River a Soncino (Cremona), aperto tutto l'anno. Il venerdì al Circus è OffBeat, una notte dedicata a sonorità sempre diverse e scatenate, mentre il sabato è Crush, dedicato agli artisti della Circus Family: Toma e Brio alla voce, Dr.Space in console e tanti, tanti altri. 

///

Circus beatclub Brescia

www.circusbeatclub.com info@circusbeatclub.com 

info +39 333 210 5400 (WhatsApp)

Via Dalmazia 127, 25125 Brescia

ingresso a pagamento con consumazione

[bala5]

Nate Berg  ·   · 

Nature’s light show in Del Norte Coast Redwoods State Park, California!

[gadgetsforusesblog]

2023 Chicago Mayor Election Results

Note: The Chicago Board of Elections will only periodically update ward-level data starting at approximately midnight local time. Therefore, district-level data may not always match city-wide results, which are updated overnight. Source: Election results and race calls are from The Associated Press. Produced by Michael Andre, Neil Berg, Irineo Cabreros, Nate Cohn, Lindsey Rogers Cook, Annie…

[pcwpolwrestling]

11/6/2012-Replay of Extreme Election Night 2012

PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, OH Tuesday November 6th, 2012 Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Loud crowd chant of ‘PCW…PCW…PCW.’   Suave and Shania are in the ring.

Suave- HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W EX-TREEEEEME ELECTION NIGHT 2012!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- I am Johnny Suave, the Voice of PCW.  This smoking hot piece of cardboard is Shania Twain.  Tonight, Barack Obama (D-IL) find out if he will have a second four term as PCW CEO.  Opposing him, ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).

Suave runs down the card one last time: -Arizona- Jeff Flake (R) vs. Rich Carmona (D) -Montana- Denny Rehberg (R) vs. Jon Tester (D) -Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)-Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D) -Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D) -Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D) -Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Todd Akin (R)

PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

PCW Title Match: Triple R (D) © vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Suave- Last night on PCW Extreme Political TV, this went down…

“No Frills’ Chris Escondido Addresses the Independents Escondido says that both the Republicans and Democrats have disrespected independents for years even though they are the ones the power- the ones who swing elections.  He notes that there’s a disagreement between the Dawn McGill-William Daniels Bryan factions and tonight is going to settle all issues.  Tomorrow night is PCW Extreme Election Night and Independents will be there in force.

Bryan vs. McGill for the Heartland Title Bryan again used his wrestling skills to get McGill grounded yet again.  McGill kicked at him but Bryan first locked in a figure four and then the LaBell Lock.  This time McGill found herself in the middle of the ring and out of arm’s reach of the ropes.  This time, McGill had no choice but to tap out.

WINNER AND NEW HEARTLAND TITLE CHAMPION: William Daniels Bryan @ 8:15

McGill handed the belt to Bryan and then raised his arm in the air.  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido then joined them along with the rest of the PCW Independents.

Suave- So the Platte Populist William Daniels Bryan is the new Heartland Champion and it appears “No Frills” Chris Escondido is the de facto leader of the Independents.  Will the Independents swing the results here tonight?

Voice- NO!

Out runs Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver holding a huge binder of paper.

Nate Silver- This is proof that Barack Obama will be re-elected PCW CEO!  The Independents don’t mean anything.  This does.  It’s all about science and numbers- something the Republicans don’t understand.  Mark my words.  When tonight’s show is done- Barack Obama will be the next PCW CEO.

Then David Axelrod (D) saunters out.

David Axelrod- I’ll go one step further.  If Obama loses tonight, I’ll shave my mustache off.

Suave- There you have it.  Axelrod has put his mustache up as a guarantee that Barack Obama will win tonight.

Suave- Let’s head to the ring for our first match of the night.

MATCH #1: Jeff Flake (R-AZ) vs. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) Arizonians Flake and Carmona are both first time participants in PCW and vying for retiring Jon Kyl‘s (R-AZ) spot on the PCW Competition Committee.

The big issue over the upcoming match?  Carmona tried to imply that ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain (R-AZ) and Kyl endorsed him instead of Flake.

Suffice to say, neither McCain nor Kyl were amused and set out to make clear that they were and will be in Flake’s corner.

Marshall does the introductions and indeed, both the Straight Shooter John McCain and Jon Kyl are in Flake’s corner.  The bell rings and the match is underway.

Flake and Carmona hook up in the middle of the ring.  Flake  shoves Carmona down and sets up for an Elbow Drop… BOOM.. Then another Elbow Drop… BOOM.  Carmona comes back with a back breaker on Flake and then tries an early elbow submission.  Flake escapes and gets dropped by a slingshot elbow. Carmona applies the camel clutch but Flake escapes to the floor.  Flake catches Carmona climbing out of the ring with a low blow.  Carmona goes down.  Flake grabs Carmona’s shoulders, turns him around, and boots him in the ass.  Flake follows with an open hand chop.

Flake rolls Carmona back into the ring and continues to work him over, but Carmona regains control by whipping Flake into the corner.  Carmona retrieves Flake and applies an overhead wrist lock but Flake muscles Carmona to the corner to break the hold.  Carmona heads up top.  Flake tries to knock him off the turnbuckle, but Carmona takes the arm and slaps on the cross arm breaker while hanging over the top rope.

Carmona releases the hold and slides back into the ring.  He whips Flake to the corner and charges in.  Flake floats over into a roll-up pin and gets a two count. Both men get back to their feet, but Carmona regains control and repeatedly punches Flake’s arm.  Carmona tries for another over-the-top-rope cross arm breaker but Flake blocks.   Carmona goes for a back breaker / neck breaker combo, but Flake counters with a drop kick.  Flake tries another drop kick but Carmona catches Flake’s leg and drops to his knees to hyperextend the knee. Carmona wrenches the injured leg around the second rope. Flake tries to get away, but Carmona grabs the injured leg and pulls him down to the mat. Carmona locks in a single leg Boston crab on the injured leg right in the middle of the ring.

Flake tries to crawl toward the ropes, but Carmona pulls him back to the middle of the ring.   Out of nowhere, Jon Kyl jumps into the ring and kicks Carmona.   Then John McCain comes in and…LOW BLOWS CARMONA!  Carmona drops to his knees.  Flake hits a basement dropkick and covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jeff Flake (R-AZ)

Suave- John McCain and Jon Kyl come through for Jeff Flake and he wins here at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012!

Outside PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s Office Two guards stand outside.

Suave- Four years ago, Bubba Jackson announced to the political wrestling world that Barack Obama would follow George W. Bush as the next PCW CEO.  Tonight, will he keep Obama on for another four years?  Or will he choose Mitt Romney?  Stay tuned.  Let’s go back to the ring.

MATCH #2 Linda McMahon (R-CT) vs. Chris Murphy (D-CT) Two years ago, Linda McMahon (R-CT), wife of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon took on Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Despite McMahon’s wrestling pedigree, she would come up short in the political wrestling arena when her son-in-law, world famous pro wrestler Paul Levesque(Triple H in WWE) accidently clocked her with a sledgehammer.

Now, McMahon is back and this time Vince McMahon himself will be on hand to finish the job his son-in-law couldn’t two years ago, get Linda McMahon on the PCW Executive Committee.

In her way, Democrat Chris Murphy.  Can he overcome the forces of pro wrestling’s most dominant personality- Vince McMahon?  Or will the McMahon family roll past Murphy?

Vince McMahon, Paul Levesque, and Stephanie McMahon-Levesque join Linda McMahon at ringside.  Vince immediately starts talking to the referee as the match begins.  Linda tries to connect with a knee but Murphy moves back.  McMahon knifehand chops Murphy.  Murphy throws McMahon off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block.   Murphy goes to follow up but Vince McMahon trips him up.

Suave- Are here we go.  I still can’t believe that the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, is here in PCW.

Murphy moves back to his feet and glares at McMahon.  Murphy goes for a body slam but McMahon slips out.  Murphy puts McMahon in the hangman submission.  Vince in the ring and pulls Murphy off.   Vince clocks Murphy with a closed fist and the referee literally has to pull him off.  Vince is sent out of the ring but he stays on the apron and continues a running dialogue with the referee.

Suave- I think he’s saying that’s not how they do things in the WWE.

McMahon hits Murphy with a elbow smash to the face.  McMahon knees Murphy and lifts him for a powerslam- but she’s not strong enough to lift Murphy.  McMahon goes for a hiptoss but is unable to lift Murphy.  McMahon bites Murphy’s arm.  Vince throws a chair in the ring.  McMahon opens up the chair…Murphy into the ropes…drop toe hold onto the open chair! McMahon stands up.  McMahon with an armdrag.  Murphy powers up and then they lockup.  Murphy whips McMahon to the corner of the ring.  Meanwhile, Vince McMahon continues a running commentary to the referee who appears to be getting tired of it.

McMahon jabs Murphy.  Murphy comes back with a swinging DDT and covers. 1…2…Vince in and makes the save.  Vince with the chair.  *WHAP*  Murphy’s down.  Linda’s not in a position to make the cover.  And the referee stops the match.

Suave- WHAT IS HE DOING?  HE’S SENDING THE McMAHON FAMILY TO THE BACK!

The crowd roars and Vince is livid.  Levesque in the ring and he lets the referee have it.  Finally, PCW security intervenes and escorts the McMahons to the back.

Suave- Wow, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

Murphy clotheslines Linda McMahon.  He then goes with a double underhook and piledrives her right into the mat.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Chris Murphy (D)

Suave- Chris Murphy with the win here and…WATCH OUT!

Vince McMahon is back and he decks the referee.  PCW security again swarm to the ring and McMahon is escorted out of the arena.

Suave-More Extreme Election Night after this.

PCW’s Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein…

…interviews world famous swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen.

Teigen tells Bernstein that she’s glad to be at PCW Extreme Election Night to lend her support to Barack Obama.

This causes some of the more rabid Republicans in the crowd to start booing.  Teigen smiles through it and continues the interview with Bernstein.

The nastiness continues and finally, Kathryn Randall Collins (D), Code Pink (D), and Emily S List (D) come out.

Code Pink- This is proof that the Republicans are waging a war against women!

The Democrats cheer while the Republicans boo.

Then actress Melissa Joan Hart walks out.

She tells the crowd that she supports Mitt Romney and that sometimes you have to agree to disagree.

Now it’s the Republicans who cheer while the Democrats are silent.  Code Pink and List look at each other.  Then they attack Hart.

Suave- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

PCW Champion Jill Berg (R) runs in and runs off both Code Pink and Emily S List.

MATCH #3 PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D) The phenomenon known as Jill Berg comes into PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 as a successful businesswoman and one woman force of political destruction.  She faces young C.J. Lewis.  Lewis, a former waitress at Hooter’s,  charged up to the top of the Democratic ranks by defeating long time standard bearer Kathryn Randall Collins to gain a shot at the PCW Women’s title against Berg.

Democrats want this match badly to continue their ‘Republican‘s War Against Women’ mantra.  Can Lewis overcome her lack of experience and pull off an upset win over Berg?

Lewis in the ring, ready to go.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd roars.

Suave: “THAT’ SOUND!  IT COULD ONLY MEAN ONE PERSON!”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman – Ms. Berg.   It’s time.

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry.

Suave: “IT’S PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION- JILL BERG!”

The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder.  He flips it on.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Berg hits the ring, warmed up and ready to go after the earlier altercation.

The bell rings and Berg wastes no time going on the attack. Reverse neckbreaker to Lewis followed by a rolling elbow smash.   Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash and the women’s champion is on fire.  At ringside, Code Pink and Emily S List watch as Berg spinkicks Lewis.   C.J. pokes Berg in the eyes to relieve the pressure.  C.J. with a neck scissors but Berg mule kicks her and sends her sprawling.  Berg rolls onto Lewis connecting with a knee.  Code Pink and List interfere and hit a doubleteam gutbuster on the women’s champion. C.J. Lewis gets back to her feet and stares down Code Pink and List.  Berg pops back up and throws her into the turnbuckle.  Berg follows up and smashes Lewis’s head into the corner turnbuckle.

Double axhandle chop from Berg.  Running neckbreaker drop takes C.J. down hard.  Berg locks Lewis in the kneebar but she escapes.  Berg then tosses Lewis out of the ring.  Berg rams Lewis into the corner turnbuckle and the challenger gets a cut as a result.   Berg goes for a belly-to-back superplex but Lewis slips out.  Berg instead hits the jumping sidekick on Lewis.

Suave- So far, Jill Berg’s experience is way too much for the youngster C.J. Lewis.

Back in the ring, Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash.  Berg moves in for the kill but Lewis bites her arm out of desparation.  C.J. whips Berg off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block. Lewis with a headbutt and then a short lariat takes the women’s champion down.

Berg spins and hits Lewis with a back fist.  C.J. whipped hard off the ropes into a clothesline.  Diving elbow smash follows.  Berg grabs C.J.’s head and slams her face into the turnbuckle.  She goes to do it again but this time, Lewis blocks and then drives Berg’s head into the turnbuckle.  Belly-to-belly superplex by Lewis.

Suave- Now the challenger coming back!

Bridging back suplex by Lewis.  She covers…1…2…shoulder up.  Lewis chants start.  Lewis with the body slam.  Cover…1…2…shoulder up again.   Berg rakes her fingers across C.J.’s back. Code Pink and Emily S List again attack.  Doubleteam backbreak to the champion.  Code Pink is going for the Glitter Bomb but wait?

Melissa Joan Hart in the ring with a steel chair.  *WHAP* Down goes Code Pink.  *WHAP*  Down goes List.  Lewis distracted.  Berg back up and chops Lewis.  Berg takes a step back…SPEAR!  She takes a step back…SPINNING HEEL KICK!  Berg lifts Lewis over her shoulder…JACKHAMMER SLAM!  Cover.  Referee counts. …1 …2 …3!

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg ®

Suave- UNBELIEVABLE!  CODE PINK AND EMILY S LIST ARE GOING TO BE PISSED WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY’VE COST C.J. LEWIS THE MATCH!  HELL, LEWIS IS GOING TO BE PISSED!

Lewis stands up and glares at both Code Pink and List after the match.

MATCH #4  Denny Rehberg (R-MT) vs. Jon Tester (D-MT) Rehberg and Tester will meet in what has been a hotly competitive run up to their Extreme Election Night match.

Tester is the incumbent member of the PCW Executive Committee while Rehberg currently holds a spot on PCW’s Competition Committee.  This is expected to be a knock down, drag out affair with both men seemingly equally matched.

The difference maker in the match could be a third man- Libertarian Dan Cox.  Will Cox be a spoiler and help Tester pull out the win?

Tester starts by bouncing Reiberg off the ropes and clotheslining him. Tester puts Reiberg in an arm grapevine submission but Reiberg pokes Tester in the eyes to escape. Reiberg gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Tester comes over and rams Reiberg’s head into the corner turnbuckle.  Tester goes for a DDT.  But Reiberg stands up and hits Tester with the belly-to-belly suplex.  Reiberg measures Tester up and drops a closed fist.  Then Reiberg whips him out of the ring.

Tester climbs back up onto the ring apron, but Reiberg kicks him back down to the arena floor. Reiberg follows Tester to the outside.  Tester whips Reiberg into the ring steps.  Reiberg gets back to his feet, but Tester attacks again and rolls Reiberg back into the ring.

Dan Cox (L) now walking to the ring.

Tester locks in a rear chin lock in the middle of the ring.   Boot the face by Tester and a cover for a two count.  Tester works over Reiberg.  Cox comes out and tries to stun gun Reiberg.  Reiberg reverse and slings Cox out of the ring.  Tester bails out too and REIBERG DIVES OUT ON BOTH OF THEM!

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Cox tries to run Reiberg into the post.   Reiberg reverses.  He whips Cox into the ring post.  Cox stops in his tracks but Reiberg dropkicks him from behind, sending him hard into the steel!

Crowd- PCW! PCW! PCW!

Back in the ring, Tester hits a few suplexes.  Reiberg spins out of a tilt a whirl attempt by Tester and dropkicks him. Tester with a lariat and goes to Irish whip him into the ropes but Reiberg headbutts him and gets free.  He goes for the splash off the top but Tester moves to safety.  Reiberg surprises Tester with a low blow and rolls-up Tester- he kicks out.  Tester pops up ready to go but Reiberg hits him with the DDT! TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN! Cox comes in to go after Reiberg but HITS TESTER BY ACCIDENT! REIBERG PINS BUT TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN.

Reiberg brawls with Cox to the outside.  By the time he returns to the ring, Tester’s had way too much time to recover.  Tester in control and throws Reiberg into the railing.  Tester suplexes the actual railing back onto Reiberg.

Crowd- HOLY ****!  HOLY ****!

Tester drags Reiberg back to the ring.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jon Tester (D)

Republican War Room Republican Leader Reince Priebus anxiously paces back and forth while his pollsters crunch the numbers.

Both Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) burst into the room.

McConnell- Jesus, we’re getting killed out there, Reince!  I thought this was in the bag.

Preibus- That’s what I was told.

Boehner- Now I’m hearing rumors that PCW Owner Bubba Jackson is seriously favoring returning Barack Obama for another four year term as PCW CEO.

Preibus- We’re working on it.

The pollsters hits the phones and try to find out just what the hell is going on.

Suave- So far, the Democrats have the upper hand and this next match is crucial.  Let’s go to the ring.

MATCH #5: Sherrod Brown (D-OH) vs. Josh Mandel (R-OH) Six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006, Sherrod Brown (D-OH) was the outsider taking on entrenched Mike DeWine (R-OH) for a berth on the PCW Executive Committee.

Now the tables have turned and Brown is the insider trying to fight off the challenge of young Josh Mandel (R-OH) and keep his seat.  Can Brown’s experience and guile overcome Mandel’s youthfulness?   The run up has been harsh and contentious and the match at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 promises to be the same.

Kimber Marshall makes the introductions.  Former PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) join Sherrod Brown at ringside and they taunt the young Mandel before the bell rings.

Brown immediately on the offense and places Mandel on the turnbuckle.  Front-layout superplex.  Mandel tries a spinning leg lariat on Brown who ducks it.  Brown hits Mandel with the double arm DDT into the mat and then connects with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Brown climbs to his feet and covers Mandel hooking the leg …1 …2 Mandel kicks out.  Brown grabs Mandel and applies an arm wrench.  Brown covers Mandel. …1 …2 Mandel kicks out again.  Brown hits the German Suplex on Mandel. He knees Mandel and rolls him out of the ring into the waiting arms of Big Union.

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker work Mandel over.  Brown joins in and elbows the midsection. Big Labor lifts Mandel up…powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Big Labor rolls Mandel back into the ring.  Brown makes the academic cover…1..2…3.

WINNER: Sherrod Brown (D)

Nate Silver runs out and shouts that “he was right,” “he was right.”  Suave reminds everyone that we won’t know until later on who will be the PCW CEO.

Suave- The Democrats pick up another one as Brown’s experience rules the day.

‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor gets on the mic after the match.

Big Labor- Scott Walker’s Rangers!  Did you see what happened here?  This is going to happen to you!

BACKSTAGE Vince McMahon tries to get to PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office but security blocks his way.

McMahon- DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?  I’M VINCE ******* McMAHON!  I’VE MADE MORE MONEY OFF PRO WRESTLING IN ONE HOUR THEN THIS PIECE OF **** POLITICAL FEDERATION WILL EVER MAKE IN IT’S LIFETIME.   THERE’S-

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall.  He grabs McMahon by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

MATCH #6 Claire McCaskill (D-MO) vs. Todd Akin (R-MO) In Missouri, Claire McCaskill (D-MO) is defending her spot on the PCW Executive against challenger Todd Akin (R-MO).

Early on, the conventional wisdom was that McCaskill was vulnerable.  However, once Akin opened up a big can of controversy over his ‘legitimate rape’ remarks, McCaskill has climbed back into the contest.  Can McCaskill close the deal or will Akin somehow manage to overcome his own missteps to win a spot on the Executive Committee.

McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Claire McCaskill (D)

Once again, Nate Silver runs out and shouts “I told ya!  I told ya!”

Backstage Claire McCaskill high fives an aide as she makes her to the back.  She’s confronted by Richard Mourdock (R-IN).

Mourdock- I can’t believe you did that to him.

Replay: McCaskill vs. Akin McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

Mourdock- That was totally not called for.  Totally not- OOOF.

McCaskill splits the uprights with a well placed kick and drops Mourdock.

Republican Locker Room “The Mastermind” Karl Rove, as always, pointing to his temple to make sure everyone realizes he’s a f****** genius,  is doing his best to keep a semblance of order.

Suave- Yeah, good luck with that.

Democratic Locker Room Talking with Stephanie Cutter, David Axelrod isn’t nearly as concerned about the welfare of his mustache as he was earlier in the night.

Axelrod- It’s time to unleash the GOTV.

Suave- We’re ready for our next match and it should be a good one.

MATCH #7 Tim Kaine (D-VA) vs. George Allen (R-VA) George Allen (R-VA) lost a tough match six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006 to James Webb (D-VA).

Tonight, Allen looks to return to the PCW Executive Committee as he takes on former Democratic Leader Tim Kaine (D-VA). This will be another bellwether match to gauge whether the Republicans will regain control of the Executive Committee and there’s a lot riding on the result.

Suave- I’m not sure if it’s as much of a bellwether now.  It’s clear the Democrats are going to hold the PCW Executive Committee and the Republicans the Competition Committee.

Following Kimber Marshall’s introductions, the bell rings.  Kaine comes out on fire and nails Allen repeatedly with right hands.  Allen whipped into the corner.  Kaine places Allen on the turnbuckle- front-layout suplex.  Kaine gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Allen.  Kaine sweeps Allen’s leg and rolls onto him with a knee.  Allen gets right up and nails Kaine with an inverted DDT. He sends Kaine to ringside and follows.  Allen throws a chair at Kaine.  High crossbody by Allen.  Kaine punched in the gut but Kaine comes back with a rake to the eyes and heads back to the ring.  Allen follows but gets pulled back to the floor by the Democrats GOTV (Grapple to Total Victory)- consisting of Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy.

Hey, it was the best we could come up with.

Bain lifts Allen and hits a running powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Bain and O’Kennedy roll Allen back into the ring.  Belly to belly by Kaine.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Tim Kaine (D)

Nate Silver again runs out to proclaim that “he was right.”

Republican Locker Room ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove can’t believe it.   Republican Leader Reince Preibus can’t believe it.  He again turns to the pollsters.

Preibus – What’s going on here?

Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly walks in.

O’Reilly- I’ll tell you what’s going on.  You’re getting your ass kicked.

Preibus- Where are the Independents?

BACKSTAGE Speaking of PCW’s Independent/Unaffiliated contingent, they enter through a back door into Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon led by ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan.

An aide comes up to Escondido and tells him that Barack Obama wants to talk with him.  Escondido nods and leaves with the aide while Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Ken Worth- The American Trucker wait.

Suave- Here are the Black Swamp Pirates!”

The crowd stands and cheers as the Pirates come out and plug themselves in. The lead singer, Junior Jackson, strums his acoustic guitar and steps up to the mic.

Jackson- Y’all know this one.  This is our ode to Keith Olbermann.  It’s called ‘Keith.’

Jackson (sings):Keith, you hit it big at ESPN But then your tenure there came to an abrupt end I know it seems so silly They won’t let you back in the building Even when you went back, and worked for them again

“Keith, you didn’t let them keep you down So you traveled on from town to different town Fox Sports didn’t work out well MSNBC the first time was hell Cause Bill Clinton, and Monica was going down “But on Countdown, you found the thing that finally worked

So you became even more of an overbearing elitist jerk And now you just don’t care

Compared to you Fox News is balanced and fair And you make good ol’ Ann Coulter seem almost moderate to us

Jackson- All right, let’s go now…

(Big Chorus) “Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

Jackson- All right, everyone follow the bouncing ball and sing along!

“Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe You said, I was the worst person in the world But you’re still the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd give them a standing ovation. Johnny Suave even gives them a standing ovation.

MATCH #8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) vs. Scott Brown (R-MA) Two years ago, Brown (R-MA) upset Martha Coakley (D-MA) for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. This year, he finds himself in a battle royale with challenger Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).

Warren, who has Democratic political wrestling stalwarts Code Pink and Emily S List in her corner, is pushing hard to return the Massachusett’s seat back to the Democrats.

Can Brown hold off Warren’s challenge?  Will Warren pick off a seat the Republicans need to take back control of the PCW Executive Committee?   We’ll find out in just four days at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

Warren trips up Brown and then hits a corkscrew legdrop.  Brown climbs to his feet and kicks Warren in the groin.  She drops like a shot.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  DID HE JUST DO WHAT I THOUGHT HE DID?

Warren jumps back up and kicks Brown in the groin just as the Democratic GOTV hits the ring again.  Bain bounces Brown off the ropes and faceslams him onto the mat.  Paddy O’Kennedy gives Brown a reverse neckbreaker.  Bain nails Brown with a huge slingshot sommersault splash.

Suave- The Democrat’s GOTV is kicking ass.  Where’s the Republican answer?

Republican Locker Room Reince Preibus is talking with a rather large gentleman…as in really large.

Preibus- ORCA.  I need you to get in there and take out the GOTV.

ORCA nods and lumbers out the door.

Back ringside, Brown brawls outside with O’Kennedy but not for long.  Bain sets up a pair of chairs in the ring and powerbombs Brown on them. Warren brings a table into play.  Belly to belly from Bain sends Brown through the table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus is furious.

Preibus- Where the **** is ORCA?

Cut to…

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus- SON OF A BITCH!

Back in the ring, Bain rolls what’s left of Brown in and Warren makes the academic cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)

PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) join Warren and the GOTV in the ring to celebrate.

And yes, Nate Silver again runs out and…yeah.

At ringside, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews is just giddy as the Democrats not only hold the PCW Executive Committee but Barack Obama appear to be on the verge of a second term as PCW CEO.

Matthews- Thank God that hurricane came along!

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Matthews- NO!  I didn’t mean it like that!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down to ringside.   Matthews tries to run for it but WTF grabs him by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

BACKSTAGE

PCW’s Towel Boy returns from cleaning the ring ropes and jokes that the Republicans are as dead as the Los Angeles Lakers.

Suddenly, Kobe Bryant walks in and…

Kobe Death Stare

Suave- DON’T LOOK!  DON’T LOOK!

Towel Boy drops dead quicker than the Lakers pulled the plug on Mike Brown this season.

Suave- HE LOOKED!

Meanwhile…

THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (D), pointing to his temple to remind everyone just how much of a f****** genius he is, continues to try to reassure the Republicans that everything’s okay…

…and it’s not working.

MATCH #9 PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (Rep) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) Ever since Scott Walker’s Rangers won the PCW Tag Team belts at the Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 pay per view, Big Union and the Democrats have been gunning for a return match.  Tonight at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the two combustible forces will smash into each other with only one team leaving the ring as the PCW Tag Team champions.

Kimber Marshall – Our next match is for the PCW Tag Team Title.  On the way to the ring at this time, ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker!!!

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, accompanied by the Democrats’ GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy, PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi, come to the ring.

Kimber Marshall – and their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Scott Walker (R-WI), they are the PCW Tag Team Champions- the team of Ronnie Walker and John Walker, Scott Walker’s Rangers!

Ronnie Walker and John Walker walk to the ring with Scott Walker.

Suave- This is it…Big Union has been waiting for this match and tonight they get their shot at regaining the PCW Tag Team Title.

PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) join Scott Walker ringside as the bell sounds.

Ronnie Walker charges across the ring and nails Big Labor with a charging axhandle bodyblock.  Ronnie springs off the ropes but this time Big Labor clotheslines him.  Ronnie Walker tries to come back with a jawbreakeron but Big Labor pushes him off.  Big Labor tackles Ronnie Walker and punches him repeatedly.

Suave – Big Labor trying to use his power and strength against Ronnie Walker.

Ronnie tries a waistlock suplex but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  Big Labor throws him out to the floor.  Big Labor follows and tells Ronnie he wants to wrestle.  Then he promptly nails Ronnie with a folding chair.  Big Labor with a backdrops and Paddy O’Kennedy of the Democratic GOTV follows with a pescado.  Big Labor decides to get mean and dumps Ronnie Walker on the rail. Big Labor throws him over the rail into the crowd. The fight heads out into the fans for a brawl.  Big Labor takes it up a notch by powerbombing Ronnie Walker on the floor.

Suave- Well, he’s dead. It’s over.

The crowd calls for Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up Crew.

Nurse Nellie

Big Labor calls for the bell saying it’s over.  But somehow Boehner and McConnell roll Ronnie back in.

Big Labor chases Boehner and McConnell from the ring and turns and shoulder tackles Ronnie Walker.  Ronnie Walker then whipped into the corner.  He stumbled back out and right into a gut-wrench powerbomb.  Ronnie tries to crawl to his corner but James the Jeep Worker slips in and pulls him across the ring.  Big Labor goes to the top and drops the Elbow on Ronnie Walker.  Cover…1…2…John Walker in for the save.

Suave- JOHN WALKER JUST MAKES THE SAVE AND NOW HE’S BRAWLING WITH JAMES THE JEEP WORKER.

John and James roll out of the ring and spill onto the floor.  Ronnie Walker tries for a crotch slam but can’t lift Big Labor.   Samoan Drop by Big Labor and Ronnie Walker is down. John Walker back in.  Big Labor clotheslines John Walker. Ronnie Walker blasts Big Labor from behind with a chairshot and pummels his head.  Ronnie Walker drops a closed fist.  Now James the Jeep Worker in and he tackles Ronnie Walker.  Big Labor sends Ronnie Walker into the turnbuckle.  In comes Bain and he splashes Ronnie Walker.  Now, O’Kennedy back in.  Spinning neck-breaker sends Ronnie to the mat.

Suave- No doubt about it.  The Democrats’ GOTV is kicking serious ass here tonight.  What happened to the Independents?

In a back hallway Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and the rest of the Independents were sprawled over the floor with the Chicago Boss Squad and the Department of Justice standing over them.

Suave- Oh…

Big Labor pulls Ronnie Walker up.  James the Jeep Worker in- swinging bulldog on drives Ronnie’s face to the mat.  John Walker again in the ring but he gets intercepted by O’Kennedy.  Ronnie Walker tries for a inverted backbreaker but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  But Big Labor can…Powerslam! Powerslam! Powerslam! Big Labor flings sweat at Ronnie and hits a fourth powerslam.

Mitch McConnell is audibly heard shouting into a cell phone, “Where the **** is ORCA?”

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s STILL patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

RINGSIDE McConnell- SON OF A BITCH!

Big Labor with a spine buster to Ronnie Walker.  He lifts Ronnie Walker and drops him with a ScabBuster.  Cover…1   John Walker in for one last try but  gets Picket Lined by James the Jeep Worker.  …2…3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Reid, Pelosi, and the GOTV mob Big Union in the ring after the referee gave them the PCW Tag Team belts.

Suave- Two time PCW Tag Team Champions- Big Union regains the belts here at PCW Extreme Election Night.

BACKSTAGE ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, slightly disheveled now, insists to anyone who’ll listen that it’s still not over.

Rove- There’s something not right about this-

CUE: Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT…AGAIN!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall. He grabs Rove by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

As yet again, the PCW clean up crew comes down to clean the mess left behind, Suave again reviews the results up to date:

Match 1- Jeff Flake (R-AZ) def. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) with an assist from ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain and Jon Kyl.

Match 2- Chris Murphy (D-CT) def. Linda McMahon (R-CT) after the referee ejected McMahon’s husband, WWE Magnate Vince McMahon and her family from ringside.

Match 3- Jill Berg ® retained the PCW Women’s title over C.J. Lewis (D) when Code Pink and Emily S List’s interference backfired thanks to a hand from Melissa Joan Hart.

Match 4- Jon Tester (D-MT) def. Denny Rehberg (R-MT)

Match 5- Sherrod Brown (D-OH) def. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Match 6- Claire McCaskill (D-MO) def. Todd Akin (R-MO)

Match 7- Tim Kaine (D-VA) def. George Allen (R-VA)

Match 8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) def. Scott Brown (R-MA)

Match 9- Big Union: “The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) to win the PCW Tag Team Title.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE No movement yet.  Security continues to stand guard outside the door.

HALLWAY Karl Rove (R) keeps trying to keep everyone calm.

Back to the ring.

Suave- And now, it all comes down to this.  The PCW Title match.  Let’s go to the ring.

MAIN EVENT- PCW Title Match: Triple R (D)© vs. P.M.C. Banks (R) Finally, the big one- the PCW Title match.  After several years of trying, after switching parties multiple times and trying new personas, Triple R  finally won the title from The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention.

Now, the veteran Angry Highway Warrior also known as Road Range Randy gets boy banker P.M.C. Banks ® as his first major challenge as PCW Champion.  In a match that always serves as a bellwether to who will be selected the next PCW CEO, Banks finds himself the underdog to Triple R. in this Tuesday’s title encounter.

Can the young Banks close out Triple R’s title run at a scant two months? Will Triple R take it to the political extreme and retain his PCW Title belt? We’re about to find out.

Marshall- This next match is for the PCW Title. Coming to the ring, the challenger from the financial district of Manhattan, Republican P.M.C. Banks!

Banks slowly comes to the ring accompanied by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), aide de camp candidate Paul Ryan (R-WI), PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Boehner’s aide Eric Cantor (R-VA), and Mitch ‘It’s Your Constitiutional Right to Spend as Much Money as You Want to Buy Influence in Our Government’ McConnell (R-KY).

Banks warily climbs into the ring.

Marshall- And his opponent, he is the ‘Angry Highway Warrior.  He is Road Rage Randy.  But you can call him the P-C-W Champion!  Triple R!

Triple R comes to the ring with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL), Obama’s aide de camp Joe ‘Don’t Call Me Neil Kinnock’ Biden (D-DE), PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry ‘Don’t Call Me Emperor Palpatine’ Reid (D-NV), and Nancy Pelosi.

Triple R goes to the center of the ring and offers his hand to Banks.  Banks cautiously reciprocates but Triple R pulls it away at the last second and knifehand chops the challenger.  The bell rings and it’s on.

Banks runs out and Triple R takes him down with a knee. The champion goes for an arm grapevine submission but Banks gets back to his feet.  Triple R slaps Banks and taunts him.  Triple R picks up Banks and front slams him to the mat. He hooks the leg for an early cover but Banks kicks out.  Banks gets thrown into the turnbuckle.  Triple R comes over and smashes Banks’s head into it and then brings Banks back out and hits jumping neck snap.  Triple R goes top rope but Banks recovers and pulls him down hard to the mat.  Banks drops Triple R neck first over the ropes and then sends him to ringside.  Banks does a cartwheel and kicks Triple R in the face.  Kneeling headbutt to Triple R’s groin.

Suave- And they’re outside.  Not sure this is a good idea for Banks.

Banks starts to head back into the ring but again, the Democrats GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy (D) come down and interject themselves into the match. Bain pulls Banks back through the ropes and then wings him hard into the guardrail.   O’Kennedy leaps from the ring apron and dropkicks Banks into the guardrail.  Triple R grabs a TV cable and starts choking out Banks with it.  Romney climbs up on the apron to complain but…

Candy Crowley of CNN steps in between the referee and Mitt Romney.

Suave- WHAT THE HELL? CROWLEY’S STOPPING ROMNEY FROM ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE?

While that’s going on, Triple R starts bashing Banks with crap and then lays him over the rail before dropping a leg.   O’Kennedy sets up a table and Triple R can drive Bank’s head through it.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Banks is bleeding all over the place.  O’Kennedy dropkicks a chair into Banks’ face for good measure.  Banks falls back on his arm awkwardly and appears to have injured it.  Triple R wastes no time and goes after the injured arm with chairshots.  Triple R with the DDT.  The GOTV set up a table.  Triple R sets Banks up but O’Kennedy miscues and accidently superkicks Triple R.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  He just took Triple R’s head off.

But O’Kennedy moonsaults Banks.  New PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker run down and set Banks up on the table.  O’Kennedy with another moonsault but the table doesn’t break.  Big Labor throws Banks back into the ring.  Triple R covers but only gets two.  Big Labor  immediately hits the Scabbuster and Triple R covers…1…2…NO!  ORCA?  ORCA MADE THE SAVE?

Suave- Well, it’s bloody about time he did something.

It’s shortlived.  Both the GOTV and Big Union attack ORCA and drive him from the ring.  Triple R sets up the table in the corner and whips Banks through it.  Cover…1…2…Banks kicks out.  Triple R stomps Banks.  Double arm DDT by the champion and another cover..1…2..somehow Banks kicks out again.  Banks then low bridges Triple R and rallies.  He rains down right hands on the champion.  Banks for the Moneybomb and hits it…but MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Ed Schultz race to the ring and complain to the referee.  That brings down Fox News’s contingent of Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, and Megyn Kelly and while Banks has Triple R pinned, MSNBC, joined by ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox News argue with the referee.

Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver sneaks into the ring and whaps Banks in the head with a large book of spreadsheets and Triple R manages to regain control of the match.  Triple R with a forearm. And another.  Banks ducks a third so Triple R hits a sit down powerbomb!  Pissed off, Triple R leaves the ring and goes and gets the ring bell. The referee tries to take it away from him.

Suave- TRIPLE R WITH THE RING BELL!  HE DID THE EXACT SAME THING FIVE YEARS AGO AT LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 3!

Replay: PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A FREAKIN’ RUMBLE!” Somewhere away from the crowd, Starz’s lariat attempt is blocked when Triple R rips the bell away from the referee and slams it in Starz’s face. Suave: “GAME OVER! ONE, TWO, THREE! THAT’S IT! TRIPLE R HAS REGAINED THE PCW TITLE.!”

Triple R in the ring with the bell.  Romney and Ryan both on the apron to complain to the referee and…what?

ABC’s Martha Raddatz runs down the ramp.

Suave- What is SHE doing down here?

Triple R blasts Banks with the bell.  Raddatz shouts at the referee and points to the ring.  The referee turns and Triple R has Banks pinned…1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Triple R (D)

The Democrats in the crowd are ecstatic.  The Republicans?  Stunned.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE The door opens and out walks PCW Owner Bubba Jackson.

Suave- IT’S TIME!  BUBBA JACKSON IS ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!

Crowd- PCW…PCW…PCW!

Obama, Triple R, and the Democrats celebrate in the ring.

Suave- AND NOW, IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT IF BARACK OBAMA GETS FOUR MORE YEARS AT THE HELM OF PCW OR WHETHER MITT ROMNEY WILL TAKE HIS PLACE!

Silver takes the microphone from Suave.

Silver- I ALREADY TOLD YOU ALL.  THESE SPREADSHEETS PROVE THAT OBAMA WILL BE NAMED THE PCW CEO AGAIN.  I TOLD YOU…I TOLD YOU ALL…I TOLD-

CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!  HERE COMES THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races to the ring.  He grabs Silver by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- Thank you.  And now, it’s time…

PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON ANNOUNCES THE NEW PCW CEO Jackson thanks everyone for coming out.

Jackson- We’ve been through a lot over the past four years.  The deficit is way too high and PCW is not on the soundest economic ground right now.

David Axelrod says the conditions were bad when Obama started his term in 2009.

Jackson- No.  George W. Bush hasn’t been the PCW CEO for the past four years.   This was a tough call but I have come to a decision.  The PCW mid and lower card wrestlers are struggling hard right now.  Mitt Romney.  You ran a good campaign but in the end- what solutions to our problems did you propose differed than the ones Republicans have proposed in the past?  Cut taxes?  These times call for breaking out of the same old ideas.

Jackson motions to Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Republicans John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to step forward.

Jackson- You along with the current, and next, PCW CEO Barack Obama helped make this mess.  You need to fix it.   It’s Obama.

The Democrats erupt as Obama wins a second term as PCW CEO.   Obama and Romney shake hands in the ring as the scene dissolves to the Des Moines International Airport in Des Moines, Iowa.

Marco Rubio (R-FL) exits a plane and climbs into a waiting limo.