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dilly-oh · 8 months

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Lost and Found Family

“Come on, Pakkun, just shit already,” Kakashi sighs, tugging impatiently at his dog’s leash. The ornery pug gives him an annoyed glance, then keeps sniffing the same bush he’s been investigating for the past fifteen minutes. “Oh my GOD. I should have left you at the pound.”

Pakkun continues to ignore him, instead deciding that the bush doesn’t meet his standards and moving on to sniff at another, nearly identical bush. Kakashi wants to scream.

He’s still in his ratty pajamas, for God’s sake, with a vicious case of bed-head, not to mention it’s past noon, and passersby are giving him strange looks. One even tries to hand him a dollar, but Kakashi shoos them away irritably.

“Okay, enough. Here.” He rifles around in his pants pocket. “Do your business, and you get a treat, okay?” He pulls out a doggie bone and waves it enticingly. “Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?” Pakkun just gives him a flat stare. “…Yeah I know it’s not you but take it anyway.” He throws it on the ground. The pug doesn’t even twitch. “Oh, come on. It’s not that stale.” Pakkun snorts. “Whatever. I’m sure some wild animal will come along and eat-”

And then a kid scurries over, picks up the treat, and starts gnawing on it.

“Um,” Kakashi says.

The kid looks up at him with wide, shockingly blue eyes, his hair a tangled blonde mess. He looks like a scruffy dandelion, complete with grass-stained elbows and knees. Kakashi blinks.

“…What’re you doing?”

“Looking for my dad,” the kid answers around a mouthful of stale dog treat. “You seen him, gramps?” Kakashi nearly chokes.

“Gramps?!”

“I’ll take that as a no.” The kid swallows and grimaces. “Ugh, this cookie tastes like ass. Also, I might be lost.”

Kakashi starts looking around for a policeman.

The kid suddenly scrambles up a nearby tree like a rabid squirrel and teeters out on an upper branch, shading his eyes with one hand as he searches the horizon.

“Christ, kid, you should be on a leash,” Kakashi says. The boy looks down at him.

“I was, I chewed through it.”

Kakashi starts looking for that cop again.

“Oh my God, chill. I’m joking. I did lose my dad, though.” The kid squints in frustration, still searching. “Damn, I still don’t see him. Where did he GO?” He glances down at Kakashi. “I’d ask you to look, but I don’t trust your eyesight, old man.”

“I am THIRTY-”

“So you’ll help me?”

“I did NOT agree- look, just get down from there before you- AWK!” Kakashi cuts off in a squawk as the kid pounces on him, nearly tackling him to the ground. “Good lord, you almost threw out my back-”

“Okay, boomer,” the kid says. Kakashi nearly walks away.

“Do NOT make me regret this.” He threatens, glaring at him. “On second thought, I already do, but nevermind that. What does your dad call you?”

“Well, let’s see.” The kid thinks for a minute. “There’s ‘buster’, ‘lazy-butt’, ‘Mr. Stinky McPoo-Pants-”

“I mean your name!”

“Oh. It’s Naruto.”

“…He named you after RAMEN?” Kakashi is completely appalled. He’s considering contacting child protective services.

“Yeah, but it’s cool, I love ramen.” Naruto catches sight of Pakkun and gasps with delight. “And doggies. Hey, buddy!” He actually gets down on hands and knees to greet the pug face-to-face. Pakkun is rather cordial and simply grunts in annoyance at the intrusion of his personal space.

“Why don’t you sniff his butt while you’re down there,” Kakashi grumbles.

“Are you gonna help me find my dad or what?” Naruto asks, getting back to his feet.

“That depends.” Kakashi quirks an eyebrow. “…He cute?”

“Okay, ew, nevermind-”

“I was joking, kid, get back here.” Kakashi sighs in defeat and pulls out his phone. “What’s his number?”

“I dunno.”

“How can you not- have you never called him before?”

“Course I have. Usually like this.” The kid takes a deep breath. “DAAAAAAAAAAD-”

“OKAY STOP. I meant with a phone.” Naruto just gives him a blank look. “…You don’t have a phone? How about a pager? Tracking chip? Anything??” Still the blank stare. Kakashi tries a different approach. “What’s your dad look like?” The kid shrugs.

“Like a dad.”

“No, that’s not- describe him.”

“Well, he’s pretty bossy. He’s always telling me to clean my room and eat my vegetables when I’d rather just eat ramen, and he doesn’t let me play Fortnite-”

“That is not what-” Kakashi has to count to ten. “What color is his hair?”

“Oh.” Naruto blinks. “Boring.”

“Boring is not a color. How about his height and weight?”

“I dunno. Boring, again.”

“And his face? For the love of God do not say boring-”

“It’s normal. Average. Standard.”

“…That’s my bad, I walked right into that one,” Kakashi says, deadpan. “Okay, so we’re looking for any adult man within a radius of five miles. He got a name?”

“Bofa,” Naruto answers.

“…Bofa?”

“Bofa DEEZ NUTS-”

Kakashi starts to walk away.

“No wait please I’m sorry-”

Against his better judgement, Kakashi stops and slowly turns around. “This is your last chance before I take you to the pound,” he warns. Pakkun barks, offended. “You too, pal.” He looks at Naruto. “Where’s the last place you saw him?”

“Umm…this way!” Naruto grabs him by the arm and drags him along. Kakashi makes a mental note to Purell vigorously once this is over, as he is unable to distinguish whether the brown smears on the kid’s hands are dirt, chocolate, or something much more foul. Pakkun grumbles at the fast pace but is able to keep up. Kakashi’s glad he’s at least getting some exercise.

What follows next is a mad scramble through the streets, as Naruto is easily distracted by every sight, sound, and smell. Kakashi has to pull him out of a fountain twice, break up a fight between him and an unruly pigeon, and is forced to buy him a hotdog from a vendor after he complains of missing lunch. Then he demands Kakashi carry him on his shoulders for ‘optimal dad-spotting’, as he puts it. Kakashi almost agrees, then notices Naruto’s funny little dance and hustles him behind a tree before he has an accident.

All in all, it’s a very hectic hour. Kakashi is considering taking the harness off of Pakkun and putting it on the kid. Which is obviously what Naruto’s dad should have done, seeing as he is partly to blame for this whole mess. What kind of selfish, irresponsible parent loses their kid like this-

“Naruto?” a voice says behind them.

“DAD!!” Naruto shoots from Kakashi’s side, squealing in delight.

Kakashi opens his mouth and turns around, intent on giving the man a piece of his mind.

His jaw falls open the rest of the way and swings in the breeze.

Naruto’s a fucking LIAR. His dad is most definitely not boring.

He’s a complete babe.

His boring brown hair is a lovely, chocolatey brown that drapes over his shoulders, clinging enticingly to his jawline. His boring eyes are a deeper, richer shade of brown, framed by long, dark lashes. His boring body is a gorgeously toned physique, highlighted by a pair of tight jogging pants and thin t-shirt.

And his face, dear God, his face.

If Naruto is a dandelion, he’s the blazing sun. The warm smile on his face as he hugs his kid warms Kakashi from ten feet away. He wants to bask in it for hours, but the warmth quickly diminishes as Naruto’s dad grows serious.

“Where did you GO?” he demands, holding Naruto at arm’s length. A scar across his nose wrinkles with concern, which is fucking adorable. “I look away for one second and you’re gone! What happened?”

“There was an ice cream truck,” Naruto says weakly. Iruka just stares at him.

“…Did you at least catch it?”

“No.”

“Good, because you definitely don’t deserve ice-cream after running off like that.” He finally looks up and notices Kakashi. “Oh, hello.”

Kakashi shuts his jaw with an audible snap. “Hi.” It comes out more of a squeak than a sexy, manly purr, and he quickly clears his throat. “I’m Kakashi. Nice to meet you. Uhh…”

“Iruka,” the man helpfully supplies, holding out a strong, fine-boned hand. Kakashi has to suppress the urge to go down on one knee and kiss it. With tongue. “Thank you so much for bringing my son back to me.” His grin grows slightly wicked. “Although I’m not too sure I should be thanking you.”

“Not funny, dad,” Naruto huffs at him. “It was an accident, I swear. I won’t leave aga- oh my gosh is that a quarter over there-”

“NOPE.” Iruka grabs him by the scruff of the neck like a mama cat and reels him back in. “We are going straight home, buster, and you are getting locked in the basement- I mean your room.”

Kakashi chokes on a laugh, faltering a little. He’s desperate to say something else to keep this lovely man’s attention, anything-

“I hope his mother wasn’t too worried,” he blurts out, then immediately wants to sock himself in the face. Way to kill the mood, asshole.

“Oh, hell no, I’m gay as fuck,” Iruka states bluntly. “He’s adopted.”

“…I see,” Kakashi says calmly, while hearing an angel choir singing a chorus of ‘Hallelujah’ in the background.

“I have a wine aunt,” Naruto says.

“Naruto, do NOT call Anko that-”

“But she is!”

“Let me finish. To her FACE.”

Kakashi’s grinning like a fool, watching the banter between the two. It’s incredibly entertaining. They should have their own sitcom.

“And what happened to your clothes?” Iruka goes on in exasperation. “Did you roll around in the dog park or did you let a dog poop directly on you?”

“Hey, at least I’m not still in my pajamas!” Naruto gestures at Kakashi, who freezes.

Fuck. He’d forgotten about that. Immediately he’s self-conscious, painfully aware of his worn pajamas and messy hair. And here’s Iruka looking like a whole ass snack. FUCK.

“Uh, yeah, sorry, rough morning,” he says, chuckling awkwardly.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve been there,” Iruka replies with ease. “One time I went to the store with puke on my shirt. Didn’t even care. I totally understand.”

Kakashi doesn’t think he could possibly be more attracted to the man.

“Oh my God, I love your pug,” Iruka says, and Goddamn if Kakashi doesn’t fall in love right then and there. “We should totally walk our dogs together.”

“You guys have a dog?” Kakashi asks in surprise. “Isn’t the kid enough?” Iruka laughs.

“His name is Kurama!” Naruto chimes in. “He’s a Shiba Inu.” He goes on in a whisper. “He’s such an asshole.”

“Naruto, language,” Iruka hisses.

“Pakkun is, too,” Kakashi says, nodding at the pug, who gives a surly growl at the sound of his name. “Oh, shut up. You know I love you.” Iruka laughs again.

“Well then, it’s a date,” he says with a wink, and Kakashi nearly cheers aloud. “It’ll be fun. Naruto can come with us.”

And just like that, the flirty atmosphere comes to a screeching halt.

Kakashi opens his mouth to object, and then stops. Because of course Naruto will come with them. He’s Iruka’s kid. It’s a package deal. If he’s truly interested in the man, he has to be willing to accept that.

Kakashi doesn’t know if he can.

He has almost no experience with children, seeing them as little more than puppies who can talk. They poop and pee everywhere, trash the place, eat all your food, and generally make a racket. They’re not even that cute-

“Thanks for helping me!” Naruto says, beaming up at him like a miniature sun, then throws his arms around his waist in a tight hug.

Kakashi is rendered speechless. He can’t remember the last time he’s been hugged. It’s…nice. He looks over at Iruka in bewilderment, and is stunned at the look of pure love on Iruka’s face, transforming it into something even more beautiful than before.

…Maybe this won’t be so bad.

“Later, gramps!”

And then Naruto whips around and runs back to his dad, elbowing Kakashi right in the dick.

…Still worth it.

-End-

(Written for @kakairu-rocks KakaIru Valentine's Week 2024, Day 1 prompts: Meet Cute and Found Family.)

#kakairu #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #naruto #fanfic #meet cute #found family #kakairu valentine's week 2024 #kakairu.rocks #modern au

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