#Napoleon a life told in gardens and shadows | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arsnovacadenza · 4 years ago

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Day 9- In the entire world, a sound only I could hear

Characters: Napoleon, Sebastian, & Leonardo

Pairings : None (gen, unless you count Sebastian fawning over Napoleon)

Ao3 Link : Here

field

Napoleon's brows furrowed as the sound of clinking glass continued.

Sebastian, he thought, had been particularly clumsy this morning, something he never expected from the sharp butler. He decided to ignore it and concentrate on his reading.

Then rang the sound of cutlery hitting the floor, completely robbing the book of Napoleon's attention. He immediately addressed Sebastian, who was kneeling by the stove and collecting the assortment of Comte's precious silver spoons and forks that he'd dropped.

"What's gotten into you this morning? You seem awfully distracted."

The demi-vampire could slightly make out Sebastian's voice as he croaked.

"It's been an awful morning, alright."

Napoleon immediately jumped to his feet and approached the distraught steward. The man had his bouts of eccentricity sometimes, but for him to break down in the middle of a job? That was new.

The way his face faltered, Napoleon was amazed the young man didn't weep right then and there.

"All right. Get on your feet." The former emperor commanded. "You're coming with me."

Sebastian furiously wiped his sleeve over his face. "What? To where? And what would the Count think if I take my leave on such short notice—"

"I'll take care of that, no need to worry. You just go change and wait for me at the stables."

With that, Napoleon left the kitchen and headed towards Saint-Germain's bedroom, leaving a dumbfounded Sebastian kneeling on the floor.

I'm on horseback with the emperor! Am I dreaming, or am I dreaming? Ohh, I'm going crazy here someone save me —

Sebastian tried ignoring the hammering of his heart against his rib cage. He struggled to maintain a straight face despite the blush that was climbing to the tip of his ears.

In a million years, he'd never thought that he would one day ride with a historical character whom he worshiped the most. He was on horseback with the former French emperor one of their draft horses— Napoleon a steady presence behind him as Sebastian fought to contain his excitement from spilling.

"You alright?" His idol's deep voice yanked Sebastian back into reality.

"M-me? Oh! Don't mind me!" he exclaimed. "I humbly apologize for troubling you and forcing you to ride with me. It's been a while since I last rode a horse, you see, and I was afraid I'd handle one of the beautiful creatures poorly. It won't do if I mistreat one of your most beloved animals—"

"Think nothing of it. I don't feel pressured myself."

The truth is, Napoleon wasn't Napoleon if he didn't catch on Sebastian's (excessive) admiration of him. Having the ability to gauge people's impression of you was part and parcel of being a ruler. He did choose to humor the man at times, appreciating the sparkle within the butler's eyes every time he presented a piece of his knowledge of the former emperor's life.

"Where might we be heading, Monsieur?" Sebastian asked, his voice steady in contrast to his prior elation. "We've gotten quite far away from the mansion." He observed the trees enclosing around them as they went deeper into the forest, admiring the specks of light filtered through the dense foliage.

"You'll see." Napoleon chuckled.

Soon, Sebastian found themselves on a vast field, the lush carpet of green stretching to miles and miles ahead.

"This is where Jean and I take our horses to graze," Napoleon explained. "We often race each other too, just for a bit of exercise."

A shrill cry broke into the air and Sebastian spotted Jupiter circling the clear sky above them.

"We're doing something a little bit different, though." Napoleon grinned. "I hope you don't get motion sickness easily."

"I'm not sure I follow— WOAH!" Sebastian jolted as Napoleon spurred the horse to gallop without warning.

Napoleon was known for spurring his horse to race at alarming speeds, but Sebastian never once in his wildest imagination could picture himself experiencing it firsthand.

They were riding along with the wind, chasing after the eagle ahead.

Sebastian leaned back against Napoleon's chest, fearing for his life. Meanwhile, the emperor only whipped the reins and urged the mighty beast to dash even faster.

Adrenaline coursed through Sebastian as they leaped across the pasture, driving away all his sorrows and replacing them with an intense thrill.

He fixed his eyes on Jupiter, hoping that he'd never disappear from their sight. At that moment, Sebastian felt that he himself was as free and empty as the air beneath the eagles' majestic wings.

Imitating the bird, he spread his arms as wide as possible, trusting that Napoleon would never let him fall.

He was afraid that if he opened his mouth he'd accidentally bite his tongue.

But Sebastian laughed with the roaring wind, carefree and spirited.

Napoleon picked the grass in front of him and leaned back against the tree where they were resting. Nearby, Sebastian was giggling and wiping his sweat, his heart full.

"See? You look better when you smile."

Sebastian was so lost in his high that he missed Napoleon's compliment. "What?"

The older man smiled. "Never mind,"

A relaxed stillness came over the two, Napoleon himself deep in his thoughts until Sebastian cleared his throat.

"Monsieur Napoleon, I can't thank you enough for bringing me out to one of your secret locations. I'm glad that you're willing to share your pastimes with me."

Napoleon waved him off. "Don't mention it. You looked like you could use some break. It must be hard having to serve us day and night without rest."

Sebastian chuckled in response. "I'm so lucky to have met you in person."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well," Sebastian rested his head on the bark with a serene expression. "I was afraid that the English were right and that you'd turned out to be as arrogant as the books say. But you turned out to be quite the opposite." He beamed. "You're the man I've always admired and more."

Napoleon laughed at the man's sincere words.

"Behind all those tall tales and glittering achievements your heroes earned, they're really just humans." He replied. "Once you get past all the glitter and cease to worship them, you'll be disappointed to know that they're just another mortal slab of flesh like you."

"I admit, it's disheartening to finally face your idol and discover that they're not at all like you the one you imagined. Worse is when you come up to them expecting some form of acknowledgment and only to have them reject your gestures, or even denounce you."

Sebastian sensed that he knew about the person Napoleon was referring to but decided to let the conversation drop.

"As you've probably seen of me, it's better to forge your own path than live under the shadows of someone greater than you forever." Napoleon huffed. "I wouldn't have accomplished those grand feats if I clung to all my past disappointments."

Then again, what's there in life for you to chase anyway?

In the end, conquering most of Europe and crowning himself emperor of France led him to nowhere but the soil he eventually returned to. It left a mark on his nation's history, yes, but at what cost?

Out there, figures before him have sought to leave behind a piece of their legacy, only to fade into obscurity with time. Even great men like Isaac and Dazai feared that their works would speak nothing of their worth and die without anything to remember them by.

"That's good. That's good." He remembered how Dazai smiled when Sebastian told him his works had been translated into various languages. "I was afraid that nobody would read them sometime after my death, but knowing that even people abroad still enjoy my books? Why, that makes me happy."

In the end, the rest of the world will move on, with or without you.

The sounds of branches crashing under a bird of prey's weight startled Napoleon, drawing him back to the present

Napoleon looked up from his book as Leonardo noisily clambered through the kitchen door.

The man stood still, his head slowly scanning around the room. "You looking for something?" Napoleon interrupted.

Leonardo's golden eyes stared back at him. "Have you seen Sebastian?"

"Sebastian's out tending the gardens, I think."

"Drat," the bulky man muttered. "I need to find the guy and quickly apologize to him. My conscience's been bothering me for weeks."

"What for?"

"Well," Leonardo scratched his head. "I accidentally spilled a solution on his shoe."

"Solution? Shoe?"

"It wasn't corrosive, and nobody was harmed. But he looked quite distraught. Must've been his favorite pair." Leonardo explained. "He mumbled something along the lines of getting them from Comte as a gift, so I joked that he's just going to buy him new ones."

"And?"

"The man's been avoiding me for a week." The painter curbed his lips, tapping his cigarillo. "I think I might've hit a nerve."

Napoleon mouthed an 'ah' in understanding.

"Well, I'm going to look for him in the gardens now. Thanks for the tip." Leonardo waved. "Enjoy your read. Ciao !"

Napoleon gave him a loud 'mmm' and returned to his book.

Made for @kissmetwicekissmedeadly‘s Napoleon Birthday Prompt 2020. The prompt was “field”

My ultimate Otome fantasy is Napoleon ruffling my hair while lecturing me about the importance of self-respect and existential dread.

@kisara-16, @thedollarstoresatan, @delicateikemenmemes, @lulu-the-hedgehog, @ikesensrandomninjagirl24, @longingkisses, @weird-profiterole, @napoleonstan, @scummy-writes, @an-otome-cally-correct, @delicateikemenmemes, @nafeary @ashavazesa, @hokkaido-fox, @orangenji, @nuclearwinterexe

#ikevam fanfic #ikemen vampire #ikevam napoleon #ikevam sebastian #ikevam leonardo #riri tries ikevam

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return-of-a-space-cowboy · 5 years ago

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I want to write this as a full story, this is based off of a weird dream I had

Lascia che ti porti in paradiso

You drove you car down the highway and couldn't help but wriggle around try not to reenact the dance from Napoleon dynamite as Canned heat played on the radio. You couldn't help but feel like the world was rooting for you, you had woken up two days ago to find out that you had been written down to be the soul inherentor of a stranger's fortune and estate.

At first you were reluctant on the offer, thinking there must have been some mistake or a scam but no it wasn't and it turned out the stranger had no living relatives and had picked out your name out of the thousands of others in the state rather then let the government take it.

You were now on your way to your new home with the few things you had from your apartment all packed in the back.

You had sold most of your furniture since your new mansion already had a ton.

You hummed as you tapped your hands on the steering wheel before seeing a man run out Infront of your car. You slammed your foot on the brake and closed your eyes, hoping you wouldn't hit him. Your car made a screeching halt and you opened you eyes and saw that the man had fazed through the front of your car. You were face to face with the ghost.

"Danm it you nearly made me a ghost myself! don't you know some of us living can see you!" You scolded.

"Sorry..." He replied.

"Trying to kill yourself isn't going to do anything... You need to fulfill your life task if you wanna move on" you explained to him before someone knocked on you window.

"Yes?" You asked the man outside as you winded down the window slightly.

"Why the fuck did you slam on the fucking brake! Nobody's in fucking front of you!" The man yelled as he hurled profanity after profanity at you.

"I'm sorry, I just had a bit of a panic attack..." You explained to the male before driving off again.

You had become accustom to the existence of ghosts, you had been able to see them for most of your life. You had especially grown use to it while living in that dodgy apartment since a lot of drug use and domestic abuse happened around that area. You could have become a psychic medium but really couldn't see yourself being one so you lived a life like everyone else.

You made a turn off the highway and drove through a few streets before stopping at a service station to refuel your car. In the store you paid the woman at the counter that had disinterest written all over her face before your phone ran. You quickly grabbed it out of your pocket as you made your way back to the car.

"Hello?" You answered to the phone.

"Oh hello miss (Y/n), I was wondering how long you'd be to the house?" The inheritance lawyer asked.

"Well I just got off of the highway, I'll probably be there in another hour..." You responded.

"Ok that's perfect, that'll give me time to drop my kids off at my mother's" he explained.

"Ok, I'll meet you at the house soon" you said.

"Bye"

You put your phone back in your pocket before opening your car door and grabbing out the mapbook and finding the right page.

"Ok so I'm on Charlotte Street now... so I'll have to go straight through Devondale then turn off at Rochester road then Tamala way til I reach Willow peaks" you said to yourself as you looked through the map before starting up the engine again.

🍁🍁🍁

You stopped your car at a pair of large gates that stood proudly Infront of your property. You hopped out the car and approached the gate and unlocked the the padlock that sealed it shut before hopping back in and driving up the long winding driveway where tall trees blocked out most of the sunlight til you reached a clearing. The three to four story mansion shadow loomed over the land where a beautiful garden grew with an abundance of colourful flowers. Roses, carnations, snapdragons, dianthus, gardenias, if you could name a flower it was most likely there. You parked you car outside the garage. You stepped out and the fragrance of the garden hit your nose like a surprisingly pleasant punch to the face. You admired the garden even more as you walked past the flowerbeds and inspected the flowers more closely. They were so well kept, surely the previous owner had hired gardeners to maintain it after they passed.

You walked around the back to see various fruit trees in bloom. Cherries, peaches, plums, apples, lemons and oranges. In the middle a old water fountain stood. As you approach you could make out the statute, a young man with long in robes and chains holding up a flower with it's roots intact. You stood on the edge of the fountain and looked at features of the worn statue that was made of a mixture gold and bronze or copper.

The man had long wavy hair with a curled fringe, plump lips, a young but well built body and eyes that seemed to see all despite being a statue. You then took note on all the lime and calcium that had built up on it as well as how full the metal was maybe you would go and grab some stuff tomorrow and give it a well needed clean.

"The estate is very impressive, isn't it?" A familiar voice asked.

You turned and saw the inheritance lawyer who was a few metres behind you.

"It's amazing, if the outside is this this good then I can only imagine how the inside must be" you replied.

"How can somebody keep a garden so perfect?" You asked.

"The previous owner told me that she hadn't worked on the garden for five years yet it had never overgrown" he explained.

"Did she know anything about this statute?" You asked, so curious to find how such beauty had been immortalized.

"No she didn't, it's been here since this place was first constucted in 1797" he explained.

"1797?!" You gasped.

"Yes, but of course it's had it's fair share of renovations, some to preserve it and others to extend it" he explained to you but your attention was soon diverted to one of the windowsills as a curtain was pulled aside and somebody peered through only to close it again.

"I'm excuse me but is anybody in the house already?" You asked as you looked back to the man.

"No there should be anyone else here, why do you ask?"

"I was just curious, that's all" you replied.

"You must be eager to see the inside" he chuckled as you both returned to the front and approached the front door. He grabbed out the keys to the house before unlocking the door and opening it.

You both walked in to see the massive entranceway. A high celling with a crystal chandelier hanging down, two sets of stairs on either side of the room, dark wallpaper and lavish rugs, painting decorating the walls. It was like what you'd see in the movies.

"This is amazing!" You gasped.

"Yep and you haven't even seen the 28 rooms" he said but before you could respond you saw somebody in plain sight run across the upstairs balcony.

"Did you just see that?" You asked as you pointed to where you saw them.

"No, I didn't see anything, are you sure your mind isn't playing tricks on you?"

"It's probably just me" you sighed before he lead you off to see all the rooms on the ground floor.

The kitchen was huge and so was the dinning room and entertaining area. You had your own laundry room, a study, two bathrooms and an atrium which led to the garden. You even had a basement / cellar. Then he brought you up to the second and third story where ten large bedrooms were placed, two of them being connected to large bathrooms with a nice black and gold colour scheme that screamed opulence. There were four more bathrooms for guests and then another study / entertaining area before you reached the attic which was the only place that wasn't clean. It was filled to the brim with boxes and spare furniture covered in cobwebs and dust. You had a quick look through all the furniture.

"I'll go down the the dinning room and get the paperwork ready for you to sign while you have a look around" he said as he left.

You took a step and accidentally tripped over a sheet, a framed portrait falling onto you in the process. You got into a sitting position and picked up the painting. It was of the same man depicted in the statue. His skin was fair, one of his eyes was a blueish green while the other was amberish, somewhere between brown and hazel. His long locks were a golden blonde, his arms were loosely wrapped around the neck of a young doe while a snake was loosely draped around his neck. The man's features seemed peaceful but he also seemed to radiate an aura of superiority.

The male must of had something to do with this household. The question thou was how?

#yandere x reader #yandere #jojo golden wind #jojos bizarre adventure #yandere giorno giovanna #yandere giorno #giorno x reader #giorno #jojo giorno #spacy works

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nymphl · 6 years ago

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In the General’s Bed - Regency Hux x Reader - Ch. 2 - To outsmart a General

A/N: Hi, darlings xD As promised, here I am with chapter 2 of ITGB. My biggest thanks to everyone who took their time to give me some hearts for chap 1 and if you feel like... any reblog, any comment, any like is very much welcomed and appreciated. I hope you like it xD

Story Summary: The General is cornered… Upon returning from a successful campaign in Battle of Waterloo, Armitage Hux knows he has no excuses left; he must produce the much-needed heir. The problem is, when the two of you parted five years ago, it was not in the best of terms. Now, he may not find his wife, you, so willing as he first expected, nor keen on taking part in any of his political games. [Hux x Reader – Hux x You – Regency AU].

Warnings for the entire story: Will contain at times; graphic violence, sex, drugs and manipulation, coarse language and OOCness.

AO3 Tags: Regency Era; Alternate Universe; Alternate Story; Alternate Universe - Historical; Arranged Marriage; Politics; War; Napoleonic Wars; England - 1815; Married Couple; OOCness; Smut

Wordcount: 6475

PREVIOUS CHAPTER *** NEXT CHAPTER

“THERE WAS ONCE A YOUNG SHEPHERD BOY WHO TENDED HIS SHEEP AT THE FOOT OF A MOUNTAIN NEAR A DARK FOREST. IT WAS…”

You adjusted Lux in your arms and kept on reading. It was raining, and your usual picnic and games outdoors had to be postponed. He complained, whined a bit, as expected, but complied shortly after you offered him a cookie and allowed him to lean against you as you read a book to him.

Smart as he was, he grimaced as you went further in your reading. Obviously, he understood why you choose “The boy who cried wolf” by Aesop. He took one of your locks and twirled it in his still chubby fingers. You knew he was upset, but you did not stop for a moment.

“…and when the boy complained, the wise man of the village said: ‘A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth’.”

The two of you stood a moment in silence, you placed your chin over his head and kissed his hair lovingly.

“Did you get why I chose this fable, Lux?”

He shook his head.

“But you do,” you replied in a soft voice.

He continued with your strand of hair firmly around his finger and closed his eyes; if you did not know him well, you would tell he was asleep.

“I lied one time,” he said, letting go of your hair and shifting in your arms to face you. “And I want to play outside!”

He was pouting, chubby arms folded at his chest. It took all you had not to laugh. He was so cute like that! You pursed your lips into a thin line and arched your brows.

“It’s no excuse, little Lord!” And before he could say anything else, you gestured with your hand, indicating there was still more to come, “and it’s raining outside, what do we do in raining days?”

“Stay here,” he replied begrudgingly.

He was still pouting. It was so difficult resisting him when he was such a cute little lord.

“Exactly, we stay indoors. Now, what do I want to hear?”

He was on the verge of tears, but you knew he would not cry. He bit his lips and his chin quivered; his eyes were cast down, focused on his feet. You brushed your fingers against his cheeks and forced him to look at you.

“Now, Lux, there’s no need to cry.”

“I am not crying.”

Stubborn and proud.

You kneeled in front of him and held his tiny hands between yours. You shook your head and gave him a reassuring smile.

“There is no need to hide your tears from me, little Lord.”

“Grown-up boys don’t cry.”

You arched one brow and pursed your lips. He would be very pissed off if you laughed right now…

…But the need was so overwhelming you had to bring the book to cover your face and look sideways.

It did not ease the need to laugh that much, but at least you could face him with a more serious expression. Your eyes softened as you brushed a tear on his cheeks.

“Now, seriously, Lux…” you started, keeping him away; you wanted him to face you as you said the next words, “who told you boys don’t cry? Grown-ups or not?”

He did not give you a reply.

You shook your head and bestowed him with a brief kiss on the nose. You did not let him cling to you. Dinner time was approaching, and you still had to get changed — with a guest. An acquaintance of Hux. If you were not mistaken, he was called Agent Terex. You sighed. It would be a boring night of politics and men trying to make you look like a fool because you did not understand a bunch of what they talked about.

Well, it was better having a guest than having dinner alone with him. A shiver ran down your spine as you recalled how it ended last night. You were not sure you were read at all for it.

“Let’s go. I am sure you are eager to tell Lady Rae what you have learned today.”

He stopped immediately on his tracks and looked down. Even if his ginger locks feel on his face, shadowing his expression, you could still see him pouting.

“Please don’t tell Lady Rae.”

“She’s going to be…” you stopped mid-sentence. You had to give him reassuring words. “Nice with you.”

You knew that Rae Sloane did not take a lie so lightly; he was on her black list from now on — and certainly for forever.

If Rae could scare the hell out of you, you could only imagine how frightening she could be to a child.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You will be later.”

“Can I just hide today?”

“And lie again?” You shook your head and pulled him by the hand towards the exit of the winter garden. “Not gonna happen, little Lord. Besides, she won’t let you get off that easily.”

He pouted.

“You are not going to convince me with this face.”

“What face?” he asked back, chestnut eyes wide open with curiosity. The two of you stopped in front of a shiny surface. You moved behind him and squeezed his cheeks. He grimaced.

“This crying face.”

The expression staring back at you through the mirrored surface was one of barely concealed anger.

He was so cute.

“Boys don’t cry. Only girls like you cry.”

“I don’t cry, little Lord!” you replied; hands covering your mouth in an expression of both surprise and offense.

He removed his hands from yours and folded them at his chest.

“I saw you crying the night the Lord in the horse got here.”

Oh.

Oh…

Oh!

That explained why he pretended to be sick for two nights in a row… He did that, so you could avoid sleeping next to your husband — or even getting near him, since you spent every waking hour by his side. While you appreciated the gesture — you did not want to share the same bed with the General even if your life depended on it —, you knew that Lux put the both of you in a difficult situation.

“Oh, Lux…”

“You were crying because of him, Mama?”

Although his intonation was that of a question, he knew what he was talking about. Otherwise, he would not pretend a sickness he did not have, he would not risk getting caught…

“What did I say about calling me Mama?”

He pouted.

“I hate him.”

You shook your head. Thankfully, he would change his opinion soon. It is, if he saw you crying because of the General again he wouldn’t…

“Now, let’s go. I’m sure Rae is dying to meet you.”

He groaned in response.

“She will kill me.”

“She won’t kill you,” you replied as you opened the door. You were not looking up, or you would have seen both subjects of your conversation a few seconds earlier.

“Oh hello, Lux.”

Quicker than ever, he hid behind your legs, his face completely pressed against the folds of your blue dress.

“She can still see you, Lux,” you whispered to him, a hand pressed gently against his ginger hair. “I promise you she will do you no harm.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth, my Lady,” Rae replied, a sinister smile gracing her lips. You were not sure if the one gulping was you or Lux. Her expression was one of killing you would be the merciful course of action. “Now, come along, Lux, we have a lot to talk about.”

He looked at you and only let go of your dress when you nodded. For as much as Rae could be frightening, she meant no real harm. And although Lux addressed you as his mother, she was the one to take such a role since the very beginning. He placed his small hand between hers and the two of them trailed the corridors, leaving you and the General behind.

Not really sure of what to say to him — would a mere hello do? — you started following them, but stopped on your tracks when his commanding voice reached you.

“I did not give you permission to leave.”

You took a deep breath when he closed the door of the winter garden behind himself and motioned for you to sit. You did so, choosing the loveseat so he could not get near you.

After a few seconds passed by in silence — you thought them as hours; to be in his company for even a minute seemed like torture —, you cast an unsure glance at him, only to find him holding the book in his hands, a bored expression on his face.

You sighed.

He was so difficult to read. It is, except if he felt disgusted. That was an expression he did nothing to conceal. And at the very moment he did not seem very pleased with you.

“Is that how you intend on punishing him for his mistakes?”

You sighed again. How were you supposed to tell him that punishing a child not necessarily taught them anything besides fear and resentment?

Hate.

A feeling that he seemed well acquainted with.

Love… such a meaningless word.

Funny, because hate was so meaningful to him. And love and hate, although not direct opposites had such a thin line separating them…

Noticing that he was expecting you to say something, you shook your head and concentrated on the topic at hand. It would change nothing to mull over his affections — or lack thereof — for you.

“Believe it or not, it’s a very effective way to teach children wrong from right, my Lord.”

He kept his words to himself and closed the book, handing it back to you. Carefully, you reached out for it, not very keen on having any sort of physical contact with him.

A gasp left you when he enclosed both hands around your wrists and pulled you towards him. His nose was almost brushing yours and his breathing was so mixed with yours it was difficult to distinguish them.

“The boy needs to learn discipline.”

His eyes were narrowed, you could tell he was very displeased with the disarray Lux caused for the last two days. At first, pretending to have a strong stomachache, then complaining his throat was sore. It was all gone to waste as soon as Hux called a physician he trusted — for he did seem to think both you and Rae would ask for some healer nearby to lie, so the boy would get off the hook — and had the boy examined.

The verdict was quick and clear: his health was top notch. If any part of Lux was sick, it must be his tongue, filled with the poison of his lies.

“You are too soft on him.”

“He knows he did wrong.” You agreed with the General. Most of times you were too soft on Lux, but he was the one being too harsh with a four-year-old boy. “He even apologized.”

His nostrils flared.

Sometimes, you even thought that he could smell it when you lied. And probably, he had heard part of your conversation with Lux. Did he hear the boy saying he hated him?

Oh, crap!

“He won’t learn discipline if he is not punished.”

You shifted your wrists between his hands, forcing him to loosen his grip around you. You stepped away, indignantly.

“Is that how you intend on raising our children?”

Silence.

He gave you his back and walked towards the windows. It was still raining heavily outside and from the way in which thunders and lightening crossed the grayish sky, it was obvious it would not stop any sooner.

Funny, because the weather mimicked your feelings right now. You were furious, just like the tempest castigating the green scenery outside.

You braced the book, inhaling the scent of old paper to calm yourself. It was infuriating how he could make you lose your composure so quickly.

The man from the past — the man you loved, worshiped and adored — never stirred such feelings in you. In fact, besides the butterflies dancing in your stomach whenever he got too close or stole a kiss, you could not remember ever getting mad at him before.

When his answer came, it left you boiling with rage.

“How I intend on raising my heir is none of your business.”

You took a moment to reply. He would not make you raise your voice. You were better than that. You were a respectable Marquise, for God’s sake!

“Then I am giving you no heir whatsoever.”

“Excuse me?” He looked at you over his shoulder, his narrowed eyes did nothing to hide how offended he was.

You turned on your heels and headed for the door. You would not stay in the same room as his. You still had to get ready for that damned dinner of his and he would absolutely not ruin your night with his horrible, grumpy humor.

Not even daring to look at him, you replied; your lips tilted upwards in a victorious smirk.

“It’s exactly what you heard, my Lord. I will never lay with you again. Meaning, I’m not opening my legs to you… ever.”

You expected him to be dinner to be a boring event — if boring was a word that could be used to classify any event in the company of Rae Sloane — with Agent Terex as a guest.

And it was, for the first half hour. The four of you were in silence and you wondered why your husband offered the man the courtesy of a dinner if he would not engage in any sort of conversation. It was clear he lacked the proper etiquette to be sitting near you — and while you had no complains about how he drank his wine or ate his meat, you did have a problem with his wandering eyes.

Not for the first time you saw yourself sticking your fork to his grayish orbs. If not for Rae Sloane’s hand placed over your thigh under the table, you would have acted on your wishes.

Again, why did Hux ask such indecorous, disgusting old man to have dinner with you?

For God’s sake, he was old enough to be your father!

“Tell me again, Agent Terex…” Rae started, bringing her goblet to her lips. You mimicked her, but regretted it shortly after, you almost spilled all of its content on the man’s face. And that was the problem with round tables, everyone could easily see each other. “Tell us that story in which you fell from your horse in front of His Grace, the Duke of Wellington.”

You brought your napkin to your mouth; you certainly did not want to get caught laughing in the man’s face. Rae had no such qualms. She laughed a little and then busied herself with more of her wine. Slowly, when you were sure you would not burst into laughter, you looked at Lord Terex and then at your husband. Lord Hux had the telltales of a smirk; his lips were slightly tilted upwards.

It did not go unnoticed by Lord Terex. His eyes were now narrowed, his face a bit flushed with embarrassment and… anger?

Certainly, a man of his mien knew how good it was to laugh at himself…

…Or not.

“I heard you plan on being appointed by the King himself as Prime Minister, Lord Hux.”

Silence.

There was only silence for a moment as you looked at Armitage, waiting for his answer. He cleaned the sides of his mouth slowly, as if there was nothing of his concern in the world.

You looked at Rae.

By her blank and calm expression, you realized she already knew it. Of course she did. Of course he would tell her of his plans before he even thought about telling you.

Typical.

“You heard correctly, Agent Terex.” His voice was calm, toneless. He brought his goblet to his lips and sipped the wine unhurriedly. His icy eyes focused on you.

He sure did expect you to react like the spoiled child he said you were just yesterday.

You bit your bottom lip, controlling your urges to call him on his act. However great the impulse was, you knew that was not the time to demand explanations. Your marital problems were none of Agent Terex’s business.

Besides, it was obvious he was doing it deliberately. He wanted to create a rift between you.

You snorted.

As if he could…

As if there wasn’t a huge rift already between the two of you.

As if his silence for five fucking years did not do it already.

As if his behavior two nights prior and his heartless words did not expand this rift further.

You drank your wine and smiled sweetly at your hateful guest.

“In fact,” you started, placing your goblet back on the table. “we are moving back to London by the end of this week.” Hux was looking at you, his eyes showed a hint of… admiration? You shook such thoughts away and concentrated on the task at hand. “My husband can’t be appointed as Prime Minister if he isn’t around the King or even living in the Ton, don’t you think?”

“I guess not…” Agent Terex replied, his lips curved in a smirk. He even opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted by your husband.

Hux cleared his throat, indicating that dinner was over. As soon as you rose to your feet, the butler approached the door leading to the drawing room and opened it for you and Rae.

“A clever little thing she is…”

You cast a glance of your shoulder at Hux, only to find his eyes on you as he replied.

“Indeed, she is.”

Part of you thought that the glint in his bluish orbs was one of admiration, but the other part was still mad at him for his behavior earlier — and a few days prior — to give it — to give him — any credit.

It was some hours later in the night — a quarter past three, you guessed — when you entered his room, only to find it empty.

Your chambers were connected by a door that lead to each other’s room and to the dressing room. After trying for hours to get some sleep without success, you decided to go to him and pour your heart out.

Prime Minister…

You always knew he was a very ambitious man and he indeed had been irreproachable serving the Crown in the War, but to be a politician? Prime Minister none the less?

That was a bit too much, even for him…

As a General he may have come across all sorts of politics, but they all concerned the War. As Prime Minister War policies would seem child’s play. As naïve and inexperienced as you were, you understood more of the Ton policies than he believed. For starters, you doubted the King would name — or even consider — a bastard as his Prime Minister. And you were not sure the Ton would accept him either.

A sigh left you. What hurt the most was the fact he did not even think about telling you.

How did he expect your support if he told you nothing about it? Because even if he thought he could do it alone, it was crystal clear he couldn’t.

Not without you.

It did not matter your family was bankrupt when you got married — when your father finally admitted he needed the bastard’s help —, your name still had prestige in the Ton. And Armitage Hux would go nowhere without it.

You shook your head and sat on his bed.

Comfortable.

Huge.

Very huge.

Bigger than yours.

In fact, his entire room was better than yours. A bit too impersonal, true, but at least it was bigger than yours.

It did not seem fair that he got the better room when he spent so many years away.

Part of you thought — with some mischievousness and some thirst for revenge — that you could have transformed it into an extension of your dressing room; it was getting smaller by the day. You needed more space to keep all of your clothing anyways.

You shook your head.

As much as it would have been fun to have him getting mad because of his chambers, you did not want that room for yourself. You never did.

Not when it brought so many memories of your first night together. You caressed the linen of the sheets, recalling how you grabbed onto them as if your life depended on it as he brought you to unimaginable heights of pleasure.

A shiver ran down your spine.

Recalling that night always made you sad.

Not because of the night itself — no, it was perfect in every sense of the word —, but because of the morning that followed.

You woke up alone — no goodbye kiss, no word whatsoever —, with your father at the foot of the bed tossing you a dressing gown and telling you your husband had gone to War and would hopefully die there before he could even dream of having his title.

The pain of receiving such news was unbearable, but it could not compare to your father complaining how much of a fool you were for giving yourself to such a man so easily.

Now you are wasted. No respectable gentleman will ever want you, even if that prick is as good as dead.

You embraced both of your legs and placed your chin over your knees.

For days your father pestered you asking if you felt something — anything — different. He had to know in which level of stupidity you were currently. He feared that you were pregnant.

And for days you hoped you were; you even slept praying for all the known gods to bless you with his child. They had to listen to you. It was the only way your father would leave you alone.

They didn’t.

At first, when your moon menses did not come, you were sure you were pregnant. And you could not be happier. But after a few days when you woke up with cramps and your sheets were tinted red you were grateful you had not conceived — and for Rae’s company as well.

She held you in her arms — or you threw yourself at her and she did not push you away — as you cried. It was obvious she was not used to comfort anyone, and it became crystal clear when she broke the news: your father would have you removing the child, if your body did not do it alone.

From this day on, you did not know who you hated more. Your husband — for leaving you alone without a word — or your father — for hating your husband so much at the point of considering having his child removed.

You bit your bottom lip. You should not give it much thought. It was all in the past. Hux was alive — your father dead — and your father was wrong.

He died believing your husband had died in the War. He died believing you were a fool for loving such man.

In fact, he called you a fool so many times you started believing his words. And after Hux’s behavior, you would not say your father was wrong after all.

You were a fool.

Seconds became minutes and minutes transformed into hours. When you last realized, you were with your head buried in his pillow, inhaling his scent as you fell asleep.

It was hours later — or minutes? You had no idea —, with a slight movement at the end of the bed that you woke up.

You opened your eyes and did not recognize where you were. You looked up, but the room was immersed in darkness. The candles burned out completely and the sun was nowhere in the sky. In its place, only the navy-blue mantle, minus its moon and stars.

“Amirtage, is that you?”

When there was no answer, you tried again.

“Lux?”

There was a sharp intake of breath as you sat on the bed, now wide awake.

“I did not expect to see you here.” His voice reached you before his fingers did. You squealed as he pulled your legs, forcing you to lay on your back and climbed atop of you.

You breathed deeply through your nose, only to realize that he was closer than you imagined. It was almost impossible to measure the distance given how dark the entire chamber was.

Your fingers touched his shoulders, only to find it lacking appropriate clothing.

“Please, tell me you are not…” You bit your bottom lip and started running your foot along his calves. The lack of fabric covering that part of his body made your stomach churn. “naked.”

He gave you only silence.

You felt compelled to keep your search, your foot aiming high. Even if he wore no socks, he would probably have his breeches on, right? You did not even want to think about the alternative.

“Careful, (Y/N),” he placed a hand under your knee, preventing further movements from you. His thumb traced lazy circles over your calves, making you blush as you thought about the other day. You felt your cheeks reddening and looked away, even if he could not see you in the darkness.

His touch over you did not last more than a few seconds before he broke apart and lit the two candles.

Your first reaction was to check if he had his breeches on. He did. Then you breathed slowly — as if your life depended on it — and looked at his face. His hair was neatly combed and in spite of his lack of upper clothing, he looked as composed as ever.

You narrowed your eyes.

“Where were you?” you asked, not very keen on starting a discussion on why he did not have all his clothes on. You were the one to invade his privacy, after all.

His almost relaxed posture of before flew away. His shoulders tensed, and he straightened his back as he took a seat on the ottoman across the room.

Shaking your head, you climbed down his bed and headed to your room. You yawned, only now you realized how tired you were. Perhaps you should leave this conversation for tomorrow, when the two of you had your minds set straight.

He did not allow to go, however. He held your wrist and pulled you to him. You feel on his lap, sitting astride him; his legs between yours. Your hands held onto his nude shoulders and his moved to your hips, keeping you in place.

You drew in a sharp breath.

“Let me go.”

Silence.

As expected.

“Let me go,” you tried once again, a tired sigh leaving your lips as you tried to break free from his grasp. He tightened his hold around you. “What do you want?” you asked in a defeated voice.

Still, he remained in silence.

He was insufferable.

“Look, I am ti— you started, but your sentence ended in a gasp as he bestowed your throat with a brief kiss.

You widened your eyes as he moved his mouth southwards, gracing your clavicle with love bites and kisses. His hands were everywhere, under your slip, caressing your skin; over your hips, moving you sinfully against him.

A moan escaped your lips.

Ashamed, you closed your mouth and you placed your hands over his, trying to stop him. It only helped to further enhance the movements.

You could feel him through his breeches. And, Gods, he was hard… Twitching with need. You shifted your hips experimentally, grinding against him, and this time he was the one to inhale sharply.

He moved his mouth to yours, taking your lips in a demanding, lustful kiss. And it was with some sort of surprise that you felt and heard the fabric of your slip torn at your back, leaving your upper body naked to his appreciation.

Your nipples hardened almost instantly — you did not know if because of the arousal or the cool breeze entering the open windows. There was no time to voice your dissatisfaction for he chose that exact moment to close his lips around your left nipple, twirling his tongue and teeth around it.

A louder moan escaped you.

But very conscient of the occupants of the nearby rooms, you closed your lips, biting the inside of your cheeks.

The general leaned back more comfortably against the ottoman, forcing you to lay atop of him. His mouth returned to your breasts, this time capturing your right nipple between his teeth.

As his hands were both occupied with your hips, dictating your movements in that scandalous sex-simulation, you brought your fingers to your neglected breast, pinching and rolling the nipple between them.

He breathed hard and broke apart. A thread of saliva connected his lips and your skin. He rested his head against the ottoman, his otherwise kept, perfect hair, completely messed, falling over his forehead, as he watched as you pleasured yourself.

You could feel yourself getting closer and for a moment, all you wanted was to climax around him — with his cock deep buried inside you.

He too was closer. If the way he brought his hips up to meet yours and rubbed you harder against him was of any indication… Or even the dark color of his irises…

You bit your bottom lip and placed both of your hands over his chest for leverage. You threw your head back as the pleasure became stronger and your eyes closed out of their own volition.

Part of you expected him to kiss you as you came — as to muffle the sounds escaping your mouth —, but instead he brought both of his hands to your breasts, pinching your nipples without any mercy.

The pain, mixed with the mind-numbing pleasure had you coming with a high-pitched moan. Your legs trembled around his hips and if not for the considerable width of the ottoman, you probably would have fallen to the floor.

Your movements took a while to come down to a halt. And it seemed like hours had passed before you opened your eyes and looked at him.

The telltales of a smirk graced his features as he ran his fingers over your nude back.

You gasped.

Your hips ground against his once more and your entire body shuddered. You were too sensible after the orgasm, your senses in disarray. It took you a moment to notice his mouth moving, he was speaking something.

…watch you pleasure yourself.”

He rolled you on the ottoman, but instead of staying atop of you he moved to the floor. It was a mere glimpse, but you could see the evidence of his coming in his breeches. You barely had any time to feel proud of yourself, for he kneeled between your legs and started removing your undergarments.

Your face was now red crimson.

He wasn’t… was he?

“I want to taste you,” he whispered against the insides of your thighs, before he placed a small kiss to your hip. You were now completely naked; at his mercy.

And heavens, how you loved it.

He was good at this.

Too good.

Did he have any practice while he was away?

The very thought was a bucket of cold water to your senses. Instead of incoherent words and moaning as his tongue expertly stroked your clit, you found yourself holding him by his ginger hair and closing your thighs. “Let me go. We can have this conversation tomorrow.”

He looked at you. His eyes clouded with something akin to confusion. Need… Lust.

You shuddered.

“You came to me and I doubt you finally left your shelter for nothing.” The way he spoke shelter had you glaring at him. It was obvious he was referring to how you tended to Lux these past two days and spared him not a single a glance during this time.

“He is just a child. And he is jealous of you. Afraid you will take me away from him forever.”

There was silence for a moment.

He caressed the inside of your knee, but this time it did not spark a rush of feelings inside you. It was… calming.

That or his spell over you was completely broken now.

“He’s insecure, but he meant no harm. If you wish…” You took a moment to think over your next words, you were sure Lux would hate you for that. “He’ll come to you and apologize for faking illness these past two days.”

If he was a lesser man he would probably have snorted.

“The boy said he hates me.”

And who doesn’t? you felt like asking. But you knew that if you did you would be lying; you would be doing the same thing you condemned Lux this very afternoon.

Besides, if this man in front of you still had something to the man you worshiped in the past, he still had some insecurities regarding his upbringing and the lack of love in his family.

Before you could control yourself, you ran your fingers through his hair. His bluish eyes were intense, but soon he closed them and enjoyed your caress.

It was like a dream.

He had his hands on the small of your back, stroking you as well.

And even if the two of you were practically naked in front of each other — well, you were naked, for he still he had only his breeches on — it was in no way a sexual moment.

It was almost companionable.

You lowered your head to kiss him — on the lips or the face it did not matter, you just wanted to show him some affection —, your breath tickling his skin, mixing with his own, and then his words caught you off guard.

“Did I make you cry?” It came out as a whisper, with no trace of judgment whatsoever, but it still made you freeze.

You stopped caressing him and straightened your back.

His hands fell to his sides.

He stared at you.

You bit your bottom lip and left his warmth, putting some steps of distance between you. This time, he did nothing to stop you. He allowed you to go.

There was a moment of silence, as you decided whether to leave or to stay. You thought that you would get no sleep if you went to your room, so you gathered his shirt, neatly folded over an armchair close to a mirror, and covered yourself.

“When are we moving to London after all?”

Your question seemed to have caught him off guard, for he took some seconds to come up with a reply.

“As you stated before, by the end of this week.”

You took two steps closer to him.

“You should have told me.”

“It would change nothing,” he replied in a matter-of-fact tone that you more than hated.

You could have asked how much it did change telling Rae about it, but you swallowed your words.

It would no do to show him how affected you were that he trusted Rae so much while he was not willing to give you the same benefit, even if you were his wife.

All your life you told yourself you refused to be a trophy wife and now you were exactly that.

For what was your use if not showing his companions — showing Lord Terex — that you were good at warming his bed and nothing more? And warming his bed you did that very night.

You bit the inside of your cheeks before you called him something you would regret later. Heartless bastard. You took a sharp intake of breath and sat on the loveseat across the room.

“It changes everything.”

He regarded you in silence, waiting for you to continue. Even if you knew almost nothing about the man in front of you — he had changed so much over the course of five years —, he seemed to know just about everything concerning you.

It was exasperating!

You wetted your lips and reunited your courage — for you would need it!

When a few seconds passed, and you said nothing, he left the bed and walked towards the anteroom. You could hear him pouring something for him — or for the two of you — and later his steps as he approached and handed you a glass with brandy.

“It changes everything because, my dear husband, if you want to be nominated for Prime Minister, you need me.”

He arched one eyebrow.

You smelled the drink and took it all in one gulp. It would give you some courage. It had to.

He was quiet throughout your discourse; his face blank. He nursed his brandy, sipping it lightly. When he returned his attention back to you, blue eyes as intense as ever, you gasped.

And found your courage.

It would be the last time Armitage Hux underestimated you.

You smiled sweetly at him as you continued, “Perhaps you don’t remember, but my father was a figure very close to the King himself…”

His eyes were narrowed.

His lips were pursed into a thin line.

You had reached him.

You had finally got some reaction from him.

Even if one of anger or disbelief — you could not precise which one you liked more. Both were very fitting — you had yanked some fucking reaction from him.

“Meaning, if I tell him you are not fit to be Prime Minister…”

He snorted.

“What you mean, my dear wife…” he stared, caressing the inside of your pulse. You did your best not to jerk away. “Is that my political career now lays in your hands.”

You nodded, feeling very confident.

“I would say it’s a clever move, if not foolish,” he whispered against your ear, trapping your earlobe between his teeth. You gasped this time, your nails deep buried in the armrests. “Lady Hux, you are playing a game you are bound to lose.”

Perhaps, you thought.

Instead of giving him any answer, you moved your head towards him, brushing your mouth against his. He licked your bottom lip, before he slithered his tongue inside your mouth. You could briefly taste yourself.

A moan escaped you.

For a moment, you let him dominate the kiss, your fingers caressing his neck and his ginger hair. Your left hand trailed his thighs. You stroked him through his breeches. Hard again. Ready to play. He inhaled sharply.

In your mind, all you could think was that if you lost, he lost was well.

That was a game played by two and the General was in for a great ride if he thought you quit so easily. If he expected to win, he better start playing by your rules.

A/N - And here you have it. I truly hope you’ve enjoyed this chapter. It’s one of my fav of this story. I’ll come back next Thursday with the next installment of ITGB. Sadly, there aren’t many posted on AO3.

#in the general's bed #hux x reader #hux x you #regency hux #regency!hux #regency story #in the generals bed #itgb #general hux #armitage hux #general hux x reader #general hux x you #armitage hux x reder #armitage hux x you

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virtualmemoriespodcast · 2 years ago

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Episode 495 - Ruth Scurr

With her wonderful new biography, Napoleon: A Life Told In Gardens And Shadows (Liveright Books), Ruth Scurr offers up a new approach to Napoleon and our shifting understanding of the natural world. We get into the image of Napoleon as gardener and how she marked his history through gardens, how her conception of him changed over the course of writing the book, the need to avoid "taking sides" with her book, her focus on how Napoleon affected the people around him, why we need to let go of the Great Man approach to history, and why the notion of a 'Definitive Biography' is a lie. We also talk about how she became a biographer without developing a 'Scurr-doctrine,' how she fell into her amazing auto/biography of John Aubrey, the similarities between how Aubrey & I collect lives, the constraints of contemporary/authorized biographies, what it meant to finish her Napoleon biography in the early pandemic days (which meant missing trips to Elba & Waterloo), whether she'll ever visit St. Helena, what sort of garden she prefers, and more. Follow Ruth on Twitter • More info at our site • Support The Virtual Memories Show via Patreon or Paypal

Check out the new episode of The Virtual Memories Show

#podcast #books

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empirearchives · 1 year ago

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The Elbans were real ones for this

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captainknell · 2 years ago

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5 pages in, and I'm already struggling. The intro sounds like a desperate grab at straws when writing a paper for school and you need to add words so you throw in a bunch of stuff (about gardens? Lol)

Why does it have to be about males and females? 🙄 Just tell me the damn story already. So you're a girl and you wrote a book... Congratulations?

#napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #ruth scurr #napoleon a life told in gardens and shadows

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mrsunderhill678 · 3 years ago

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Me? Writin? Pff- never

"For men like us, that justice failed, that's where family starts. In graves. We just sit there, lookin' at a name, plantin' the ghost of a rose in hopes we can become friends with the ones like us. We revive each other, man. That's what death and life is all about." - Napoleon Whitley

"When justice lies in the hands'a the wicked, it wilts away like a rose on a cold Sundeh mornin'. Loved, for the beauty it once held." - Napoleon Whitley

"My father used to tell me the truth lived inside us all. But as I stared that woman eye to eye and she said, "Napoleon Whitley killed that girl," I had some strange feelin' that there was nuthin' but lies rotting in her blackened chest." - Ivella Paidel

"If that's what you think of yourself you're doomed to become the wolf's cape draped over the shoulders of the mourning, vengeful lamb." - Michael Tabrowski

"I've never believed man was meant to spill blood. It leaves such a sinister, deadly scar on one's heart. But so many choose to believe that scar is their howl." - Michael Tabrowski

"I've found you've no care for this death you call your life." - Michael Tabrowski

"Truthfully, it feels as if I've died. Lost in one way or another to the way man spills blood." - Amorian Slathervark

"I was always so terrified, of being human. My father always taught me that emotions are liars, and we must run off of our beastly instinct. But when she pressed her lips against mine, I learned she loved me in all the emotions I shoved like daggers down my throat." - Pratten Whiskeyfoul

"Love is like blood for the mind. You'll never forget it, but some days, you'll wish you could." - Pratten Whiskeyfoul

"That's just what happens when you love the broken. Pieces of them they never wanted to share cut the tips of your fingers as you dance them against their skin." - Pratten Whiskeyfoul

"I think the saddest word in the human language is almost. It's that sliver of possibility that kills you, and she was an almost dream, huh?" - Pratten Whiskeyfoul

"Love isn't something you ask for. It never was. It crawls into your heart like a hungry beast, sinking it's teeth into your soft flesh and dragging little pieces of your heart into someone you never knew. And as you see little pieces of you in another, you come to realize love was never a choice. Other wise, we wouldn't fall in love with the wrong people." - Melai Diamonskull

"They called him real. And that was the cruelest thing you could call a man like him." - Mydria Sirencuff

"Because the boy who falls into darkness isn't you, Jarrod. He never will be. You have to die just as I did. Feel every knife in your heart, ever bullet on the tip of your tongue, like gunpowder sin and spark sizzling power. In the grand scheme of things, all roads lead to death. It's better, wise, even, to realize that early on. To lick death off the edges of silver knives just to know what it tastes like on a bleeding tongue. That's the taste that dances on your lip whenever you whisper my name." - Florian Heartpierce

"I've found beauty in the darker things. Like shadows dancing between the trees and blood spilling under the shadow of another man's grace." - Florian Heartpierce

"Death spews from out my tongue as if it were a snake hiding behind my red teeth." - Absinthe Hollercrow

"I always wonder why God's always hiding his answers to all my questions in parts of myself I dare not reach into." - Graham Davidson

"My father always called her heaven's ghost, for he could not control her. As if she was dead far before he ever threatened to lay her in a grave." - Melias Skinwalker

"We are sisters, you and I. We are bound by shield and by blade, and so long as I can still swing this ax and heave this shield like a merciful burden, I shall protect you with all I may give." - Dezstarla Vaganbrok

"I will come for the monsters and the beasts who ripped the roses from his decadent garden. And they will wither in the bones they plucked." - Lucius Caulfell

"To love at all is to live." - Imaldene Emorvow

"He used to shout his freedom in blooms of color, but now he declares his decadent imprisonment in blooms of red and grey." - Imaldene Emorvow

"He bleeds not unlike a man, yet still, I cannot wrap my head around the idea that something human can be so dastardly and deadly to his own kind." - Quenzin Pivato

"My heart wades strange and unfamiliar in the cage of my chest, and I begin to feel that whosoever holds it will know more grief than love." - Armond Zonestrame

"She was like a face in the sand, calm and beautiful, but once grasped in the hands of the mortal man, she flitted between his fingers like blood from his throat." - Raymund Alkarson

"In the wisps of shadow I found things that weren't me. And as I stepped forth into the night, following rose petals on the ground, I learned the dark doth not call with good intentions in his voice." - Raymund Alkarson

"My heart yearns for the things that make it go still." - Ben Stilts

"Past all this darkness in my heart, I can hardly tell what love is. All that I know is somewhere, nestled in the cracks of my heart, you reside, chiseling away at the shadows with hammer and nail." - Cyprian Orgazi

"You and I's fate is a flat circle and we're just dancing our way around the edge." - Carvaso Nightfall

"When ya... When ya get blood on your hands, it uh, it changes you. It starts with the regret, you know? And then you start justifying it, saying things like, "He deserved it, I had to." That's when ya start to die. And then you realize, you deserve it, the man lying in your memory didn't." - Lucas Camillo

"He used to be something more than an absolution starved beast, but now as I look into my eyes and see flickers of his damnation in my reflection, I realize he is nothing but it." - Melias Skinwalker

"He'd always been Alice, following the rabbit in hopes to find salvation at the bottom of the Mad Hatter's tea cup, but alas, Wonderland withered and died before his tear glossed eyes." - Melias Skinwalker

"She was brave and determined, and as she took the cross from off her back, a burn on her skin in the shape of dead and wicked faith, she broke free of the Skinwalker shadow, and became more than we'd ever been." - Melias Skinwalker

"The world fell through the lenses of violence, and there I stood in wonder, gazing at the world through a painter's eyes, wondering why the pale white of bloodless skin and electric blue of tazers firing off looked like something I would've brought to life with the edge of my brush, and called so gracefully, "The end." - Nester Harvlock

"In the shape of a birthmark, she slathered her face in paint. Whether it was a cry of revolution or an act of hiding from oneself, I could never tell." - Reggie Savinwit

“My rage is quiet until faced with me.” - Bellatrix Hungarson

“I found myself in the tangles of her red hair as she kissed me deeply in the witching hours of the night.” - Bellatrix Hungarson

“My life was lost in the empty eyes of cruelty, but every now and again, as Amaryliss' fingers trace against every scar and dance gently against every curve and bruise, I feel like, for once, I'm alive again. She loves me in colors I've never seen, and as her lips press against every inch of me, I bloom with shades of love and peace. I'm a crooked, hell bent monster, but when she holds me in her arms, I feel a little less monstrous and a little more human.” - Bellatrix Hungarson

“I got old weathered boots and a cigarette on the edge'a my lip, knowin' trouble comes for the peaceful souls 'for it ever pounces on the cruel and sickly.” - Bellamy Houston

“I met 'er as I rode my horse inta the night, just at the edge's death's door with blood on my sleeve and some gentle ache ta my smile. And as I woke ta her gentle and soothin' words, I wondered if I'd been found by a siren. But alas, she was the guardian angel that brought this ol' cowboy back ta life. Carly's a bit of a wild soul, and I love that 'bout 'er. She's got this smile that flickers with little bits'a wild beauty. Her hair's tangled and curled, her eyes alight with starlight and a slight tinge'a madness. But the best people are a lil' mad, after all.” - Bellamy Houston

“I've seen trouble on the edge of a Sundeh mornin', revolver steady in 'is hand, his rage sittin' on the brim'a his hat like a matchstick 'gainst a fuse. He told me that if I so much as whisper 'bout 'is sin, he'd lay me in the dirt under a shallow grave where all souls would forget my name. But I wonder what he'd do if he knew that his anger's fire is flickerin' while my justice's flame begins ta rise.” - Bellamy Houston

“I walked a thousand miles'a my life on my own, but I've walked many more with life and Carly by my side, and loneliness don't seem like much a friend, now.” - Bellamy Houston

“I wear a broken crown'a lies atop me 'ead, paradin' my own decapitated sense'a self down the hallways'a me 'eart, my demons chantin' and cheerin', "Da bastards dead! Lay ruin ta 'is poor sinner's 'eart!" - Daisy Fields

“When ya watch dat first bullet fly, ya watch a little piece'a ya go with it. It's nuffin' but a small sliver, but then ya fire another round and eventually, as the war finally ends, ya've fired your whole heart from out your chamber, gunpowder smoke driftin' after the remnants'a your identity.” - Daisy Fields

“They say scars make a man, but as I look at my reflection, rippled and distorted by the water's edge, I come ta realize these scars didn't make me. They killed me.” - Daisy Fields

“I ain't really been Daisy Fields for a long time, now. My name flew from out me chamber as I pulled me first trigger and landed in a poor bloke's chest, cursin' their grave with a name that ain't theirs', but a name that ain't quite mine, either.” - Daisy Fields

“I hide all these things inside my head. These feelings, these emotions, these little blooms of color and love. I've lived my whole life in black and white, the color of everything I touched fading like a puddle when faced with the harsh morning sun.” - Norma Locke

“I'm a ghost of memories and little pieces of a heart that forgot to feel, repeating the same mistakes again and again as she's lost to time. But as that woman, that beautiful, strange, odd, amazing woman places her hands on my cheeks, I feel less transparent. Less ghostly. Less fractured, broken and beaten down. All my life I've been a disease slowly rotting who I am away. But I feel like in some way, Illene's the cure I've always craved.” - Norma Locke

“I've been a wandering, homeless soul for years. And at the end of trouble's road I met a woman, beautiful and strange who scooped me up gently in her arms as I clung to the folds of her shirt with feeble and decaying fingers. And as I closed my eyes, and swore I was about to breathe my last, she carried me home. How beautiful and strange it is that a life can change with a single name etched into it's future.” - Norma Locke

“There's some odd serenity about the way the waves whisper in secrets and old, forgotten treasure.” - Marianna Bones

“On the distant and rocking waves I met a monster with cruelty in his eyes and flickers of flame in his smile. And as he clenched a fist and told his men to open fire, I knew what rage felt like in a good woman's heart.” - Marianna Bones

“Here on this ship we follow a code. Help those that need helping, feed those that need feeding, and kill those that need killing. There's honor in our war torn, ocean misted hearts, and black blood on the tips of our honor coated blades.” - Marianna Bones

“I fight so that one day, my daughter can see a future ripe and full with peace. She's a warrior, fighting day by day, but I crave for the day when she can lay down her blade for good. She's my daughter born and raised, and in many ways, she's the reason I'm still alive. I was burdened and blind until she came into the world and gave me a reason to fight.” - Marianna Bones

“My heart lies with the sea, loving gently like the waves on a sunny morning, but beating with rage like a thrashing storm when faced with the cruelty creeping up the edges of this world's soul.” - Autumn Bones

“I'm not going to die peaceful, that much I know. No warrior goes out without blood on her blade and scars on her skin. She stands tall and sturdy in the face of death and refuses to back down until she can no longer stand. And even then, she bares her teeth.” - Autumn Bones

“On the distant, stormy horizon sits a ship, ripe and full with sinners, cheats and bastards, clambering over the holy to grasp at something dark. And on the mast, like a looming crow sits their leader, shouting in ancient tongues as he demands the light withers and dies as he rolls on by with the violent waves. I'll stare him eye to eye and watch him fall. Cause I ain't the kinda girl who dies so easy. He's been asleep in his cruelty for years, and my knuckles against his violence is his damn wake up call.” - Autumn Bones

“This kingdom of me came crumbling down the moment the red heart faded to black. I'm soil hiding ashen bones and ribcages overgrown by weeds and mercy, and in the distant call of my mind, I find something that was never home, but slowly, it's starting to be.” - Rin Otishiro

“My heart beat's sick with gambling lights and the edges of cards, and as I look back into the recesses of my mind I see a man, standing tall and empty, like a hollow husk of humanity. His eyes are alight with delusion and the spark of inhumanity. And wherever he goes, fantasy and death are sure to follow. I'd never known mankind could be so dark until he placed a thumb under my chin and told me I was a pawn in his game, and he'd always meant for me to lose.” - Rin Otishiro

“I sit here, counting scars like stars on my wrists.” - Rin Otishiro

“My name's still the same, but I change like the weather, going from rain to a hurricane in the span of a blink or two.” - Rin Otishiro

“My heart's rotten and black, crumbling into my stomach as I swallow my fucking words.” - Rin Otishiro

“Silent and sorrowful, I stood under a shadow. Rocking myself back and forth as I ripped pieces from out my mind and dipped my pen in their ink. If only to run my fingers across the pieces of me I hated, disguised as poetry and prose so one day, I could fall in love with all the pieces of me I'd grown to despise.” - Ashivana Cuttle

“She dances her fingers against my bare bones and all of a sudden, the aching begins to leave, replaced by this buzzing warmth that tastes of her love. Her lips on mine taste like freedom, like cool midnight air or the sun dancing gentle and warm on my cheek. I could drown in her love, as she could drown in mine. She's my end, she's my beginning, and as she makes love to the worst parts of me I come to realize she loves me for the good parts in me and the bad. As she pressed her lips against my neck and dug her fingers into my hair she whispered, "I will dance with your demons and taste the death on your lips, if only to learn to love every piece of you and all of you all at once." She cured me in ways I never thought possible, and I have this odd feeling that I cured her, too.” - Ashivana Cuttle

“Memory slips through my fingers like sand, and I can only watch them twist and turn with the wind until inevitably, I forget they were ever there.” - Angelo Lariplank

“I fear I've been dead ever since I woke in a forest ripe and full with memories I couldn't taste on my tongue, clothes covered in mud and blood, the knife that ruined me held feebly in my hand.” - Angelo Lariplank

“Do I trust this lie I tell myself? It's easy to swallow and sits gently in my stomach, building a garden of roses and little reasons to hold on. But the truth forces itself down my throat like greedy human fingers, ripping pieces from my heart and stripping the petals from my roses, leaving me no more than a scrambled mess of thorn and bramble. The truth rips me from myself and I drown in it.” - Angelo Lariplank

“The woman I loved always used to tell me I was her wolf. Not in the sense that I hunted for prey. But I was loyal like the moon at my back. But ever since she's been gone the moon's light's felt so lonely on the scars etching up my back. Her name's a tattoo seared into my tongue. I can never rid myself of the taste of her love, of her pleasure, of her lust. She tasted like my own tears on my lips and the gentle healing of my sorrow. As if she was the answer to the question I'd been for too long. But now that she's gone I sit as a gentle crow upon a grave that reads my own name. I'm a threadbare, starving question, and my insanity holds me up only to wait for an answer I'll never receive. In the words of Allan Poe, my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor, shalt be lifted- Nevermore." - Angelo Lariplank

“I'm an animal built off the desire to feel, and here I am, seeking emotion in the life that flashes behind a dead man's eyes.” - Andromeda Lockmowe

“This person I am is so ugly and twisted. Don't forget that the devil used to be God's favorite, but as she fell from heaven, pieces of her wings burning on her back, do you think she felt loved? Do you think she felt wanted? Or did her eyes flash with the anger of her father as he gripped her in his rough hands and cast her from the edge of his malice? I fell from heaven on bloodied wings, coughing up rose petals and thorns, wondering why the world never loved a lost girl like me. I fell through the air, grasping at pieces of me with tears in my eyes, only to land on the edge of my own knife, sputtering up all of me as who I am bled out from the corners of my eyes. Like red tears of emotion.” - Andromeda Lockmowe

“I look into my love's eyes and see something filled with pain and broken pieces of who she is, but as I place my hands gentle on her cheeks, and tell her my arms are the home she seeks, I can tell she begins to feel a little more like her and a little less like her scars.” - Jemini Paskel

“When she first laid her head on my shoulder, it was as if I'd swayed my brush against a blank canvas and watched colors bloom from grey to rose red. As if in that very moment, a future had begun to spill on the tapestry of us in colors that didn't exist, but would come to be as I tasted her lips and brokenness on mine.” - Jemini Paskel

“We're all stories waiting to be told by somebody who listened, somebody who not just read our story, but danced their fingers against every page and gently kissed every word. As if they wanted more than our beauty, than our love. As if they wanted to hold the ugly pieces of us in their hands and whisper, "How beautiful you must be, to hold all this pain inside of you and remain upright and tall in the face of such ugliness in your soul." But these pieces of us were never ugly, just things we didn't want to love.” - Jemini Paskel

“Magic was never little flickers of fire dancing on the tips of your fingers, or pulling a card from somebody's jacket. It was always love, and it always will be.” - Vishal La’Voila

“My mother was one of the most important people in my life. She saw the thoughts I hide in my eyes, and whenever she pulled me close, I felt a little less transparent. As if I was living rather than breathing.” - Vishal La’Voila

“She once told me that there was no greater magic than the love you feel when somebody tells you, as you're falling apart, "You're not okay, and that's okay. Let your emotions flow through you, feel them as deeply as you can, as if they were your roots digging into the Earth. Because it is that pain that will allow you to later stand tall and sturdy." In life, we all have the choice to write our own stories, to write our own identities. We don't choose who we are, but we choose what we show other people of ourselves. And that's the choice we have to make. To be ourselves and not care what others think, or to shrivel and hide away in fear of the sticks and stones people cast against the broken and different. You're strong either way.” - Vishal La’Voila

“I'll die a hero before I ever live as a villain.” - Lilluth Sillia

“I woke from a dream of smoke and fire, wondering why I could still smell war on the horizon as I rose from my bed. And it was with sorrow I learned that war sat on the edge of peace like a hungry beast, waiting to shove the merciful into it's merciless jaw.” - Lilluth Sillia

“On the edge of another day I sit, butterfly dancing on the tip of my blade and bringing a small moment of magic to my tired and weathered eyes. The life of a warrior is rarely an easy one, nor is it an un-burdened one. But it's a weight I'm willing to bare. My eyes are tired and heavy, but I find it so hard to sleep. Be it the humming trouble in the cool night air or the blood that sits heavy in my memory, sleep is such a tragic thing for a hero. But as the stars begin to shine, and the moon casts a pale and gentle glow, I must remember the hero is not cruel in her justice.” - Lilluth Sillia

“The peace in me is gone, but it is not, forgotten.” - Haize Dents

“I dare not say their names, lest their ghosts crawl from out my throat and I lose all the things that make me me.” - Haize Dents

“There's a fire in me I cannot tame. It burns hot and blue in my chest, the words I swallow sitting like pale glowing kindling at the bottom of my stomach as my ashes rise from out my rage. I am smoke, and I am fire, anything I ever could've been flickering away as I stare into the dark. But when my eyes catch Stephanie's, this fire in me dwindles down and meets my heart, burning from anger to passion in the span of a single heartbeat.” - Haize Dents

“My heart is a desperate, broken thing, craving for warmth yet flinching as a finger slides across it's cheek. I wish to taste her love on my lips and her rage on my tongue, but I'm scared of the way my heart beats in my sleep like a murder soon to be.” - Haize Dents

“I used to sit on the edge of my bed, who I'm not creeping up the corners of my chest like greedy and rough hands clawing pieces off of me until I could hardly take another step without remembering the boy in the mirror. But I'm me, I'm me, and isn't that such a beautiful thing to be?” - Alexandra Harkol

“My father used to tell me that when pain comes a knocking, you grow with it, you let it walk beside you until the path diverges. And when it goes, you let it go with the shake of a hand and a thank you, for not swallowing me whole. And as my pain becomes just another speck in the sunset, I bid it farewell and thank it for allowing me to grow.” - Alexandra Harkol

“We were all searching for our Neverland on wings that didn't fly, so with our hands and human fingers we hoisted each other to the sky so maybe, just maybe, we could taste the warmth of the sun on the tips of our tongues.” - Alexandra Harkol

“We're not happily ever afters, in truth, there isn't one. But life without death isn't much more than jumping memory to memory, trying to make new ones in pursuit of what the old days felt like.” - Alexandra Harkol

“I used to be so lost in all the sorrow, the pain, the doubt. As if I was a book that got left as an abandoned manuscript, longing for the rest of my words to be read, the rest of my story to be tasted by the tips of fingers young and old as they flipped through the wondrous pages of me. But as I met Bardzimi, and his eyes flickered with some happy ending I'd always wanted to have, I found love where it was never supposed to be. And it was right in front of me all along.” - Ismerelda Sage

“I've learned that as we weep, our emotions drip from the tears and down our cheeks, falling against the soil and planting little seeds of who we were in that moment. And the Earth remembers the taste of our tears against her rough skin. She does.” - Ismerelda Sage

“He cured my scars with words, in places fingers couldn't go. He wanted to know every little secret and every little flaw so he could hold the dark pieces of me in his hands just to claim them beautiful. And what an awfully beautiful thing it must be, to be loved for both your light and your darkness.” - Ismerelda Sage

“The world's become a lost soul, clinging to the memory of what it was. And here we stand like ghosts, loving and living despite the constant remembrance of death.” - Ismerelda Sage

“On the edge of a dead man's blade I met a pale and dark angel, the shadow of her wings looming high and mighty over me. And as I knelt on broken knee, and she placed a clawed hand on my shoulder she whispered that all of me would die.” - Levi Lambright

“My heart opened up like a dying flower.” - Levi Lambright

“Oh I was just a boy of a doomed family, watching my brethren fall like rain from the sky. They shined with a pale and orange light, but just as the sun, they were bound to plummet back into the dark.” - Levi Lambright

“Darkness made a nest in my chest and dared ask, "Whatever happened to the light?” - Levi Lambright

“I have become such a stranger to myself, but I like the way this name tastes on my tongue. It is as if with the first man I killed, part of me fell with his corpse, and another part of me rose as I ripped my blade from out his chest.” - Levi Lambright

“I have replaced my heart with a cage, and that is where I reside.” - Levi Lambright

“I look at myself through transparent, nicotine hazed memories, wondering who I am past the pain of yesterday and tomorrow.” - Eithel

“I try to purge myself of everything I knew about my sister, but as I close my eyes and smoke another breath, I can see her. Like a midnight fire flicker in my mind. It would be cruel, to let her leave my mind, because it's the only place she's allowed to live.” - Eithel

“I try to pour who I am from a bottle of red wine, watching the crimson pour as it splashes against another empty tomb, knowing that no matter what I do, the bottle's gonna refill and I'll get drunk off this ghost I've become.” - Eithel

“She's an uninvited guest in my heart, looking from out my ribs with sorrowful eyes as she tells me she can never leave. And everywhere I look, I see her. She's in the pale and gentle glow of the moon, the flicker of the stars and the falling of light into shadow. She creeps up on every thought and every memory, the cold case she's become haunting my heart as she whispers she's long gone, and I'll never feel her in my arms again. I couldn't protect her, and as I broke my promise, the world must've vowed to kill me as I walk and breathe.” - Eithel

“My mind splits open to reveal all the memories I try to hide, pieces of my skull peeling back as all of me bleeds out into the open.” - Ontari Boneson

“I stare back into the past, looking deep into the empty eyes of a hollow man. He stands and looms over me, whispering that he'll be back, he'll always come back. His knife drips with shattered pieces of me, and here I stand, a person I no longer am.” - Ontari Boneson

“I've got scars etched up my back and spine, bruises growing in my mind as I try to figure out who the hell I am. But as soon as I walk through the door, my scars and memories whisper, "Welcome home." - Ontari Boneson

“My anger lives between the shattered pieces of my mind, chiseling away at my thoughts and memories with hammer and nail.” - Ontari Boneson

“Sometimes we just gotta fight for the light so she knows it's okay to come around.” - Aldia McVale

“I've met cruelty in the eyes of an angel I watched fall. Her smile slowly faded into cruelty, her curiosity turned to death, her fighting spirit to murder. It's perhaps the greatest tragedy of all, to watch good become evil. To watch a girl lose herself to the shadows of those who laid her down in the dirt.” - Aldia McVale

“I've never believed in kill or be killed, I've never believed revenge was the righteous option. And so with my blade in stone, I'll choose words over violence and an open heart over a fighting one. People like us, warriors of words and love can't lose ourselves to the idea that killing can be justified. In truth, it never can be. If I were to kill Olivia and watch her fall in a red pool of her sins and redemption, I'd be no better than those who twisted her starlight into shadows.” - Aldia McVale

“Cruelty lies to us, whispering that redemption can't be found. But if we push cruelty to the side and reach our hand out to love, to hope, to redemption, we'll find the light was always there, waiting to pull us into her motherly embrace and welcome us back into her arms like an old friend. She who walks back into the light after years of darkness is just as worthy as she who's always known the light.” - Aldia McVale

“Being different doesn't mean being bad. In truth, we're all different. No soul is the same. Normal is an illusion built off the idea that we hold all that we are on the outside. But on the inside, there's things that make us special, different, and we never show it. Because we fear taking off our masks as everyone else tells us who we are with plastic smiles and masked faces. I took off that mask a long time ago. My smile's real, my soul is real, and isn't it beautiful? To be real when so many choose to dance with an illusion?” - Akayla Vrizin

“It was as the rain fell, suit and tie clinging to me like skin soaked with sin, I found who I am, the pale light of the moon steadily trickling down the cracks in my heart until all that pumps through my veins was dark.” - Agusto Perwitz

“The love in me lies dead and forgotten somewhere in this crooked tapestry I've become. It slowly decays as weeds and thorns grow from out it's throat, greed and envy choking the good out of me as I take another merry step into the dark.” - Agusto Perwitz

“I've mastered the art of pulling the trigger in silence.” - Agusto Perwitz

“I've got a monster in me. She claws at the edges of my ribs and takes little pieces of my heart to stick between her teeth. And as the memories of the wicked wolves pass through my mind, she claws from out my throat and makes life hell for the cruel.” - Adsila Bloodvallo

“My heart beats slower and slower as I rot away in my cage. But as Tiana takes her hand in mine and tells me I'm no monster, just a fighter, I feel my heart go faster and the monster in me shrivel away for a moment or two.” - Adsila Bloodvallo

“I love Tiana, as if I was fire ever dancing in the midnight sky and she was the stars I try so desperately to reach with my flickers and sparks.” - Adsila Bloodvallo

“I've spent too long fightin' myself with bare knuckles, breakin' myself down piece by piece just ta build me together again like a rickety and rusted tower, knowin' if I dare remove one shard'a me, this person I am'll come crumblin' down.” - Mavallo Clavelli

“Sometimes, people'll hate you for things ya can't control. And I've learned that's their choice and their misery ta live with. I won't carry the burden of a hateful man on my shoulders, it's a weight he's gotta carry on his own.” - Mavallo Clavelli

“It's been rainin' in this heart of mine for a long time now, but that's the only way the garden's gonna bloom in my chest. Under the clouds of sorrow and the skies of joy, I'll find who I am.” - Mavallo Clavelli

“There ain't no mercy in the war against oneself, cause you gotta walk out the other side yourself, or you're gonna come out the other side'a the war nobody at all.” - Mavallo Clavelli

“He's a victim of cruelty, not cruelty in of itself.” - Eliza McGriffin

“It's not such a cruel thing, to show a monster they were human all along.” - Eliza McGriffin

“I'm in control of the way this heart beats and the ways these emotions echo.” - Eliza McGriffin

“The Earth's letting out her final gasp, and here I am, holding my breath so she can have just a moment of my air.” - Eliza McGriffin

“We're hearts that love and feel with souls that hurt and bleed.” - Eliza McGriffin

“Cruelty takes little pieces of us day by day. Not enough to notice, but as days turn to years they've consumed who we are and there's nothing left of us past the full stomach of cruelty.” - Eliza McGriffin

“I'm my own worst enemy, but perhaps, when I'm not myself... That's a good thing.” - Pamela Vekeltin

“I'll whisper my secrets and sins to the wind in hopes they find a forgiving angel. And as Gabriel holds me in his arms and reminds me I'm more than this blood spilled, I swear the wind found his name.” - Pamela Vekeltin

“I've stood under my own shadow for so long that I hardly remember what light tastes like on my tongue. But as I breathe in the fresh air, the taste of love, hope and a slight tinge of freedom dance on the edge of my tongue, gripping at the edges of my lips with beauty coated fingers and love brushed smiles.” - Pamela Vekeltin

“I just look at my life, I see how much I've changed, how much I've grown, and I realize that who we are doesn't stick around. It wisps away as who we're meant to be comes on by.” - Olivia Wiltfang

“Some people just don't understand life. They take the pain and they turn it into a weapon, claiming strength is found in the swinging of a fist and the shattered edge of who we are. But true strength was always gonna be found in the beautiful vulnerability of love.” - Olivia Wiltfang

“I've got chips off my paint, faded stickers of who I am etching my surface, water stains and scars bared with pride on my hide. But at the end of the day, I'm the same person, hidden behind things that fade with time.” - Olivia Wiltfang

“This person I've become is like cigarette smoke. It brings me some since of peace, for a time, then I cough, I sputter, and this person I am fucking kills me.” - Walter Killgrine

“I hardly make a sound as I begin to fade away, because all my pain goes by unspoken, my sorrow quiet and my rage too loud to fucking bare.” - Walter Killgrine

“I used to have a heart in my chest, but as a dead memory of my past whispered from the shadows, "There's wolves in the dark," my heart jumped from out my chest, running as far as it could from that shadow of a man until it burrowed itself deep into the future of my grave.” - Walter Killgrine

“I'm no kind man. I've pulled triggers without a second thought, killed men for causes I don't believe in, stained my lips with loveless blood and watched good men die. I'm a secret to myself, always discovering new and twisted pieces of me.” - Walter Killgrine

“I've always stood under one shadow or another, be it the darkened sky of my family, the shadow between colored circus lights or the constant remembrance of a man I thought I knew. I've never seen the light, and now more than ever I fear, it would blind me.” - Walter Killgrine

“I cover my traces with pieces of barbed wire insanity, hoping who I used to be doesn't follow me.” - Draco Scoviney

“There are pieces of me that still lust for salvation, but the dark pieces of me drown them out and I lose myself to this woeful shout of insanity.” - Draco Scoviney

“My madness is calm, patient and silent, standing in the edges of my mind and bursting from out my skull like the mad woman's hands, drenched in black and red blood alike.” - Draco Scoviney

“In the castle of unwell minds and broken people, we've found who we truly are. This place stands like a revolver's shadow over peace and sanity, and my friend, we are the bullets piercing the skull of the well as the queen of damnation and madness pulls the hammer back, nails painted in the blood of the holy.” - Draco Scoviney

“I've not been me ever since I tasted my father's blood on my teeth. As he fell, grasping at a ruined throat, I found I liked the way murder tasted on the edge of my tongue.” - Draco Scoviney

“Some men grieve the loss of who they were, but God damn, I rejoice.” - Shakilo Vankelo

“I played a game of chance with my demons, and as I stand here, straightening my blood stained tie, a smile on the edge of my lip, who do ya think won?” - Shakilo Vankelo

“Before I go howlin' into the night, I'll raise a little hell and watch little pieces of heaven fall like fucked up masterpieces from the sky.” - Shakilo Vankelo

“I am the coinsurer of my own destruction.” - Shakilo Vankelo

“They never used ta speak my name, but now they howl it like a scar on the tip'a their damn tongue.” - Shakilo Vankelo

“I ripped myself apart piece by shattered piece until nothing but my heart remained. And as it looked for somewhere to run, I squashed it under my heel.” - Shakilo Vankelo

“The poor man dies under the rich man's boot, the rich man strives in the poor man's sorrow.” - Barsbley Martman

“Where all the cobwebs used to be, she's built a tapestry of her love, building reasons for me to live with flowers and daffodils in my chest.” - Barsbley Martman

“I've stood under the shadow of cruel men's riches for too long, always yearning for the heat of Summer as I stood cold in the winter. But as Lucienne brushes her lips against mine, I feel a sudden Spring in my chest, followed quickly by a calm and quiet Summer, lived under the light and shadow of sunflowers and rain dripping gardens.” - Barsbley Martman

“There is no greater trouble then the kind that lives in man.” - Barsbley Martman

“The most dangerous thing about the cruel man, is that he looks just like the good man. He's stitched kindness into his smile and learned how to pretend to be human. But at the end of the day, he was never human, just evil hiding in the vessel of a man.” - Barsbley Martman

“At the end of the day, I must wonder who I'll be. Because I spend my days in constant change, different people flowing through me as I grasp at the illusion of my identity.” - Barsbley Martman

“My whole life it seems I've been grasping at something that was never there, some cure to life that'd leave me content and full with imaginings and beauties. But I'm lost in a dream I had when I was young, and ever since, I haven't opened my eyes.” - Sasha Sunblume

“She's broken pieces in my memory, and as I whisper her name to an empty and colorful sky, I swear it's her tears I see in the rain.” - Sasha Sunblume

“I've been kicked out of my own heart and mind, clawing at things that aren't me and shoving them down my throat in order to be somebody else. But these pieces of other people grow like black rot and weeds in my stomach, breaking me down into a beautiful garden of black petal memories and decaying thoughts of yesterday.” - Sasha Sunblume

“With all the miles I've walked, I haven't gone anywhere at all.” - Sasha Sunblume

“I used to dance on a tightrope, wondering when my sorrow would send me plummeting toward my concrete doubts, clawing at air with tears and misery in my eyes. But now here I stand, having fallen and survived, knowing sometimes, that the fall's just your rebirth in disguise. How beautiful it is, to fall, breaking apart into somebody new as you hit the edge of your doubts and come out the other side of your misery the person you were always meant to be.” - Chala Flitfair

“I've got blood on the edge'a my snarl and darkness brewing in the edges of my eyes, but despite that, I gotta fight who I am and become somebody better.” - Sherwood Stinson

“I never had the chance ta live. I was born a boy'a the streets, hidin' under the shadow'a chance and misery. And as my brother and I fell from our own grace with the swingin' of a single crowbar, we lost who we were. As if we played a game of Russian Roulette with our demons, only for them ta laugh as we pulled the trigger 'gainst our skulls with a fully loaded chamber.” - Sherwood Stinson

“I look ta the sky, wonderin' as it rains, if it's my father's tears splashin' 'gainst my cheeks. I never had a chance to meet the man with a smile that could light up the corners of the world and a trench coat worn in the memory of my brother. But I can't help but imagine, when I bring this hammer down, he wouldn't be proud of this man I am.” - Sherwood Stinson

“Love and life are lived in the blink of an eye, so don't dare go blind to yourself, cause all the beautiful things in life'll pass you by.” - Elwood Sparrvitz

“My life was fraught with trouble and misery until I stumbled into the bar, smoke on my breath, the scent of trouble rising up from the bar's wooden floorboard. It was there, in a place of misery and part time sorrows I met the love'a my life, and God damn, life ain't never been so beautiful. I look inta Sandie's eyes and I see a life worth livin', a love worth fightin' for. And when I hear the laughter'a my children, I know I've found home in the hearts'a love an' family.” - Elwood Sparrvitz

“I was livin' five miles from myself, stumblin' and hitchhikin' on a road that weren't mine. And as I threw my thumb up, pointed at the stormy sky, a woman stopped by my side and asked if I needed a ride. And as we drove off inta the distant horizon, I met myself once more.” - Elwood Sparrvitz

“My home reeked of death painted on old scarred wallpaper, and under the silver shadow of my father, I learned what it is, to die. Death comes in many forms, and it isn't always a scythe she uses to reap. With human fingers and beastly eyes she comes for us in the form of those we know, greeting us with a smile so wicked and a song so gentle, lulling the lost ones to their eternal sleep in the emptiness of their lives.” - Calzell Flickerfeid

“I can hardly escape my mind, but I can say with certainty that I've escaped who I am.” - Calzell Flickerfeid

“It was in the white walls of an old mental ward I met who I'd become, sipping on the darkness I knew too well. And with a blank and hazed stare I can say, my mind never left that mental ward.” - Calzell Flickerfeid

“Away from myself I fell, drifting through emptiness and fate, death reaping little pieces of me as they broke from off my figure. And as I closed my eyes and accepted this new, violent identity of me, I awoke in a field of hay and wheat, night sky hungry, a blood washed knife held gentle in my hand. And by my side, covered in crimson smiles and wounds, I found me, staring blankly and hazed into the abyss of night and madness.” - Calzell Flickerfeid

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