#Nandor learns how to vlog!

[taxonomicons]

WWDITS Episode Idea: The documentary crew is sick and they allow the vampires to film with the cameras on their own.

[parttimesarah]

This gave me SO MUCH LIFE! I feel so much better about Nandermo happening this season after reading this.

I particularly LOVE the idea of how/why they end up in the Pine Barrens. I don’t think we’ll get a Nandermo kiss that ep, though. I think we’ll get some kind BIG SHIFT in 8 (in keeping with the Nandermo episode 8 pattern).

I think Guillermo will be pretty upset after Freddie is revealed as a douchecanoe. This is, as far as we know, Guillermo‘s first big relationship that was explicitly romantic, and his partner was just using him. Almost like how people might have thought at first that Guillermo was “just using” Nandor to become a vampire. But we all know that that relationship means more than just that to Guillermo. Clearly, Freddie didn’t really value his relationship with Guillermo and when he saw that he could get something more important out of it (ancient artifacts he could sell and get a pretty commission on) he didn’t feel too bad doublecrossing Guillermo.

I think Nandor might feel the need to comfort Guillermo after this revelation and the feeling of closeness and bonding that that comforting brings up in Nandor is still ticking away as we move into episode nine. And then when we get to the point where the officiant (whoever it is) asks the “Do you take this woman…” question of Nandor, I love the idea that Nandor will say “I… don’t” and then just leave and go find Guillermo.

I hadn’t even thought about the idea of the last episode being about making memories. From the second I read the title, I had wanted it to be flashbacks (or some documentary-compliant format, maybe old journal entries or vlogs of Guillermo’s) where we see how they met because Kayvan has spoken a lot about wanting to explore that in interviews that he’s done. But, it would be awesome if it was both. We see them making memories and we also get to learn more about those original memories!

I love all of the suggestions about how this season might end, but I particularly am drawn to the idea that there is something about the blood of a vampire slayer that makes Guillermo able to turn Nandor into a human. We know from other episodes that Nandor really does think of vampirism as a curse and it has caused him a lot of sadness throughout his life (and un-life). So what if the cliffhanger is that we see something happening to Nandor that indicates that he is not a vampire anymore? The only question that that would leave us with is where does the show go in season five?

So many questions, so much waiting that we still have to do! I honestly cannot wait and love having this obsessed network of friends on Tumblr that I can kick these ideas around with!

WWDITS S4 Episode Title Predictions

Okay, okay, okay. As you may know, TV Time dropped the episode titles for the fourth season of What We Do in the Shadows. Now, TV Time is often less than accurate with these things, but given what we already know about this season based on interviews, press releases, leaks, etc., I think there's a strong chance that these titles are actually legit. So naturally, I did what any normal consumer of media would do and spent hours writing predictions based on this new information.

For reference, here are the episode titles:

And here, below the cut, are my predictions:

Guillermo has been acting as Nadja's bodyguard while she serves on the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council. I've seen some people questioning his decision to remain with Nadja as opposed to tracking down Nandor, but I think Guillermo assumed Nandor would wait for him at the train station, and was deeply hurt when he realized this wasn't the case. He probably spent his time in the crate trying to convince himself that Nandor knew something had gone wrong, that he knew Guillermo would never abandon him unless he'd been incapacitated somehow, that he was out there looking for him, that at any moment the crate lid would open and he'd see his master's face smiling down at him. But then Guillermo arrives in England and learns that Nandor is already halfway around the world, and he just can't deal with his hopes being dashed anymore, so he decides to wipe the slate clean and stay in England with Nadja. And then he meets this cute British guy.

Guillermo has been acting as Nadja's bodyguard while she serves on the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council. I've seen some people questioning his decision to remain with Nadja as opposed to tracking down Nandor, but I think Guillermo assumed Nandor would wait for him at the train station, and was deeply hurt when he realized this wasn't the case. He probably spent his time in the crate trying to convince himself that Nandor knew something had gone wrong, that he knew Guillermo would never abandon him unless he'd been incapacitated somehow, that he was out there looking for him, that at any moment the crate lid would open and he'd see his master's face smiling down at him. But then Guillermo arrives in England and learns that Nandor is already halfway around the world, and he just can't deal with his hopes being dashed anymore, so he decides to wipe the slate clean and stay in England with Nadja. And then he meets this cute British guy.

Meanwhile, I feel like Nandor is going through quite the opposite emotional arc. He's devastated when he gets on the train, thinking that Guillermo has stood him up, but then he hears that the whole thing was Laszlo's fault! Guillermo would've met him at the train station, had he not been crated against his will! What a relief! Now Nandor can enjoy the rest of his travels knowing that when they eventually reunite, he and Guillermo can pick up right where they left off.

Nadja has been desperate to make something of her eternal life, and she goes to England thinking that serving on the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council is the answer. We know, however, that this only lasts a year, so my guess is that her role on the council is ultimately unfulfilling, or that she isn't taken seriously by the other members. Whatever the reason, she decides to return to Staten Island.

Laszlo has spent the year trying to raise Baby Colin and allowing the house to fall into utter disrepair.

4x01 - Reunited

What it says on the tin! Nandor returns from his travels, Guillermo and Nadja come back from England (with Freddie in tow, apparently) and they all reunite with Laszlo and Baby Colin at the now-dilapidated house. This is almost definitely the episode with the leaked Nandor/Guillermo/Freddie scene (read: Nandor realizes that Guillermo has moved on and he's like THIS IS FINE 🙃). This might also be the episode with the pretzel scene (read: Guillermo kicks everyone out of the house in order to assess the damage and clean what little he can, so Nandor decides to be SUPER SUPPORTIVE of his BODYGUARD'S RELATIONSHIP by taking his NEW BUDDY out for a FUN NIGHT of HUMPING PRETZELS).

4x02 - The Lamp

Nandor is heartbroken over Guillermo and in denial about it, so when he happens upon a lamp with an ancient genie inside, he decides to revive all of his dead wives in an attempt to find the perfect spouse. This will be the episode with Djinn, Marwa (the woman Nandor will ultimately become engaged to), and a whole bunch of other wives. There will surely be some kind of wife montage, and it will be hilarious. Bonus points if one of the malewives hits on Guillermo and Nandor gets uncomfortable.

4x03 - The Grand Opening

In this season, according to the press release, "Nadja finally realizes her dream of opening the hottest vampire nightclub in the Tri-State Area." This is the episode where that happens. Richie Suck and Tom will be involved.

4x04 - The Night Market

Now, this one is particularly intriguing! The press release states that one of the episodes takes place in a secret supernatural night market, which absolutely tracks. But we also know that 4x04 is the episode where Guillermo's family will be introduced, and Paul Simms says that this will happen "in a way that makes [Guillermo] very anxious. We’ll learn that if he has Van Helsing DNA, then so does the rest of his family even though they might not realize it themselves." We've also been told that this season will include the show's most ambitious episode in terms of their depiction of supernatural creatures, and for my money, this is that episode. Listen, I'm not saying that there'll be an accidental massacre at the secret supernatural night market... but there might be an accidental massacre at the secret supernatural night market.

4x05 - Private School

This is going to be the episode where Laszlo tries to get Colin into private school (aka the episode with the leaked Headmaster Warren scene). It's probable that Colin will have rapidly aged into a precocious kid by this point.

4x06 - Pine Barrens

Okay, I have a LOT of thoughts about this one. The press release said that, amongst other locations, this season would take us to the Jersey Pine Barrens. I did some digging, and according to folklore, the Jersey Pine Barrens are home to a legendary creature known as the Jersey Devil. But don't take my word for it! Listen to what Wikipedia has to say about this guy:

The creature is often described as a flying biped with hooves, but there are many variations. The common description is that of a bipedal kangaroo-like or wyvern-like creature with a horse- or goat-like head, leathery bat-like wings, horns, small arms with clawed hands, legs with cloven hooves, and a forked tail. It has been reported to move quickly and is often described as emitting a high-pitched "blood-curdling scream".

Sounds like prime WWDITS material to me.

Another thing this show loves is a pop culture reference, and in my research, I learned that the eleventh episode of the third season of The Sopranos is entitled Pine Barrens, and that it's widely regarded not only as one of the best episodes in the show's history, but as one of the best TV episodes ever made (it's also the first episode that Steve Buscemi directed!). The plot surrounds Paulie and Chris getting lost while attempting to dump a body in the Pine Barrens, and their dynamic in this episode is one of the reasons it's so acclaimed.

Now, I'm just spitballing here. But what if Guillermo is running out of places to bury/dump bodies, so he decides to head out to the Pine Barrens (knowing this show, he could literally come up with the idea because he's been watching S3 of The Sopranos). Nandor doesn't want him to go because he's heard horrific stories about the Jersey Devil. Guillermo's like, "I'm a badass vampire slayer, I'll be fine." Nandor isn't convinced, so he decides to bodyguard the bodyguard and accompany him. They immediately get lost and have a terrifying run-in with the Jersey Devil (bonus points if he's voiced by Steve Buscemi). At some point, when they fear all is lost, Guillermo and Nandor share an adrenaline-fueled kiss. And then Nandor probably remembers he's a fucking vampire, so he grabs Guillermo and flies the two of them out of the Pine Barrens and everything ends up being fine. But uh-oh! They kissed! And now there's tension! Guillermo has a boyfriend! Nandor is engaged! How can they possibly resolve this?!

4x07 - Go Flip Yourself

By this episode, I think Nadja's nightclub will be so successful that the gang can finally afford to renovate the house. But the episode is called Go Flip Yourself, which suggests that they'll decide to renovate it, sell it, and upgrade to a bigger house now that Nandor is getting married and Freddie seems to be sticking around. In any case, this will be the "pipes and a new drywall" episode.

4x08 - Freddie

Chewing glass, I am chewing glass. This episode has to be a direct parallel to Gail, right? Like, okay, Nandor is gearing up for his wedding, but he can't stop thinking about Guillermo, and it's not because of their undeniable chemistry and sexual tension, no, something just seems off about that Freddie guy, and it's not that Nandor is jealous, no, he's literally about to get married to Marwa, he's definitely not jealous, he just wants the best for his Guill--uh, that is to say, his bodyguard and oh my shitting fuck, don't look now, but is that Freddie trying to make off with those priceless ancient artifacts????? Fucking guy.

TLDR: I will place money on the fact that Guillermo never learned Freddie's last name.

Edit: @lord-of-the-ducks reminded me of what I like to call the Episode 8 Nandermo Pattern (the parking lot explosion in Citizenship, the break-up and make-up in Collaboration, The Wellness Center…) so there is zero doubt that this episode will be Nandermo-heavy. Can y’all imagine if they have their first kiss in this episode? The episode before Nandor’s wedding?? The episode that’s clearly meant to parallel Gail??? The potential emotional mileage is off the dang charts.

4x09 - The Wedding

Wedding episode!!! Okay, so. Nandor is all set to marry Marwa. His heart's not really in it, but he's trying to convince himself it's the right move. Besides, Guillermo was in a relationship up until very recently, and if Freddie hadn't turned out to be an artifact smuggler, they'd probably still be together. Guillermo made his choice, and now Nandor's making his.

Meanwhile, Guillermo's relationship is over, and he's... relieved? He'd been wracked with guilt over his feelings for Nandor, but now Freddie is out of the picture, and he has nothing to feel guilty about anymore. Because Guillermo knows what Nandor looks like when he's in love, and that's not the way he looks at Marwa. And Marwa's probably still a little miffed about being unceremoniously yanked back to life after 700-odd years of peace and quiet. So when Nandor and Marwa are standing at the altar and the officiant (it might be Laszlo, but imagine the angst potential if it's Guillermo himself) asks if anyone objects to their union, Guillermo doesn't feel anything but absolute certainty when he stands up and tells Nandor he's in love with him.

I think it's more likely that the wedding will be called off rather than Guillermo taking Marwa's place, but regardless, Marwa will be graciously sent back to the dead (or given her own agency beyond marrying this ridiculous man who never once stopped making eyes at his bodyguard), and Nandermo will be canon at last!

4x10 - Memories

In the season finale, I think Nandor will finally honor his promise to turn Guillermo into a vampire. His word is his bond, after all. But first, they'll spend a day doing all of Guillermo's favorite human things one last time. Or checking off all the things on Guillermo's bucket list that he won't be able to do once he's a vampire. Or maybe, to quote a favorite pirate captain of mine, a pretty solid mix of both! Either way, this episode will be centered around making memories, hence the title.

But alas, we have been reliably informed by Mr. Guillén himself that this season will end on a cliffhanger! So what's going to happen? Here are a few of my current predictions:

a) Nandor turns Guillermo, and the last moment of the season is Guillermo's vampire eyes snapping open

b) Nandor attempts to turn Guillermo, but Guillermo's skin is impervious to vampire fangs

c) Nandor attempts to turn Guillermo and everything appears to be going smoothly, but then Guillermo either has a horrible reaction to drinking vampire blood, or simply won't wake up

d) Nandor attempts to turn Guillermo and everything appears to be going smoothly, but then Nandor has a horrible reaction to drinking slayer blood

e) Nandor attempts to turn Guillermo, but his slayer blood interacts with the vampire blood in such a way that he becomes something... else (no idea what, I just think this is a fun and spicy take)

Anyway, those are my thoughts, but this is an entirely collaborative effort, so please feel free to chime in if you have anything to add! I'm having so much fun trying to put the pieces of this vampiric jigsaw puzzle together.