#Na YoungHee | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

donkey-hyuck · 4 years ago

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𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃; 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒂: 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

three card spreads↴

tarot cards;

the hermit (upright)

contemplation, search for truth, inner guidance

strength (upright)

inner strength, bravery, compassion, focus

the emperor (reversed)

tyranny, rigidity, coldness

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

word count- 18,355 (woah wtf😳)

genre- angst baby || fluff || yk just pure angst || high school! au in the beginning || college!au || bittersweet ||

characters/pairing- kinda popular kid!lee jeno x fem!volleyball player!reader || nct dream including mark || sooyoung

introduction- maybe you two just had enough of each other. being involved in one another’s lives could have just taken a huge toll on the both of you. so after finally separating practically your whole lives, you may both think you’re fine; but inside, neither of you can let each other go. one heated argument leads to another and you may have just lost your best friend, the love of your life… or maybe you didn’t…. or maybe you did.

taglist! @badwithten, @jenoji, @joyfuleggsfishbanana, @proseeuhn, @danishmiilk

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“mommy! jeno just pulled my hair!” your five year old self shouted as five year old jeno huffed and turned the other way. his mother had been out for the day for a job interview and your mother had promised to take care of him. the two of your mothers’ had been friends since middle school, grew up together, went through their adolescence, helped each other with university work. they were the best of friends, inseparable. and when they found out they were both pregnant at the same time, they were ecstatic to raise their children together.

you and jeno had known each other your entire lives up to that point. he was only four months older than you but he acted as if he was so superior, and it just made you ticked off. throughout elementary school—mostly kindergarten and first grade— the two of you never got along and fought constantly. your mothers’ tried to make you like each other but to no avail.

“mom! y/n pinched me!” five year old jeno yelled to his mother as you stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your arms. your mother had brought you along to their house when that happened and it just seemed as if the two of you would never get along.

but all that changed when you entered middle school. well, not completely, but you had his back when he needed it. mostly when you were forced to help tutor jeno in your science class, or when he had a crush on one of your good friends. he had your back too, telling you not to get into fights with the girls who thought they were so much better than you, or trying to set you up on dates with his friends. middle school was truly a place where you and jeno put away whatever feud the two of you had going on. middle school with jeno was actually fun, graduating your eighth grade class, messing around with teachers, meeting new friends. there was just so much enjoyment for the both of you during those years.

when high school came along, the two of you had been in separate classes, you being put in advanced placement and jeno being put in stem. that was kind of the first time you have been separated from each other at school. during your primary days, you and jeno had the same schedules and it seemed like fate wanted you two together. but when you entered high school, you were both more distant toward each other, specifically during all of junior and most of senior year.

freshman year was more of an experience. it was weird to not see jeno through the halls, let alone not have classes with him. but the two of you were just as inseparable as your mothers’, and met up with each other after school anyway, whether it was your mom picking the two of you up or his.

you were two peas in a pod and had seemed to always be teased by your peers, even when you denied liking each other. if it was true or not, no one had believed you and the two of you were stuck as the couple throughout the entirety of freshman year.

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.” as you two said.

but new years of 2016 all changed the way jeno had perceived you. he was invited to a new years party with a few of his friends— na jaemin and lee donghyuck— and jeno had seemingly been gullible enough to believe the lies people were saying about you. about how you started the rumor of him dating a model his age from overseas, the rumor about him making out with younghee during his free period one thursday morning, or the rumor about him liking eunseo. he was furious to know that you were the one who spread all of the gossip around school, pushing past the idea that you and him had been connected by the hip since you were born. pushing past the idea that you truly weren’t like that. but jeno was enraged, nonetheless.

while he was feeding off of lies people had told him that night, your family— as well as his— were spending the new year right. you and your family had been invited to the lee’s for the countdown and you noticed your best friend wasn’t there.

“y/n! jeno’s not here, he’s with donghyuck and jaemin for a new years party tonight. i hope you won’t be bored here,” said his mother with a look of disappointment in her eyes. you shook your head and smiled, “it’s okay, aunty. i have minjung!” although you were excited to have some alone girl time with his older sister, jeno had never told you about attending a new years party that night. and to think about it more, hyuck nor jaem had told you either. it was weird. but you just pushed that all aside and walked down the hall to minjung’s room. at the time you were fifteen and she was eighteen and a well-known senior at your high school.

“minjung!” you bursted through her door and she immediately ran to hug you. “y/n! i missed you!” she hugged back as nal nudged your calf in a greeting. picking up the feline, you walked out of the room to eat and sit in the living room to play some family games.

your two families counted down together and it was officially 2016. your parents had decided to stay for another hour before going back home. but during that hour, hyuck’s mom had dropped off jeno and he was met with your families laughing and having the time of their lives together. another year, another long friendship that was to never end; or so your parents thought.

jeno came home upset that night. he felt betrayed and disappointed that you would say those things about him but all the more that made him angry. his mother had greeted him but he coldly shook it off and took to his room. you were shocked, jeno never acted that way towards his mother. you didn’t notice how quiet it was until your parents nudged you to talk to him.

“uhm.. aunty, uncle. i’ll go talk to jeno, see what’s up with him.” and for some unknown reason, you were nervous walking down to his bedroom.

carefully, you knocked and let yourself slide through the door, “jen…? are you okay? why’d you do that to your mom?” your voice was soft, just more of a way to not trust you. you were a hoax. at least, to jeno you were.

“i’m fine, y/n. get out of my room, i need to shower,” he rushed you out only making you want to say and ask a million questions about what was going on in that moment.

“no. what’s wrong with you? what happened tonight?” your brows furrowed and that was when he turned to you with stone cold eyes.

“none of your business. now get out!”

you don’t think jeno had made you cry since you were little but this was the first time a tear had shed because of the person you cared most about. however, you could never really recall why you cried that night. it wasn’t a bawling kind of cry, more of a sniffly kind of cry. whether it was frustration or shock, you walked out of his room as you wiped your tears with your sweater. it’s probably only a mood, you tried to convince yourself.

boy were you wrong.

the next few months were like this; you constantly trying to get jeno’s attention, crying about losing your best friend, and questioning what had happened to get him so upset at you. it was all a mind-fuck and you missed jeno. and by the time sophomore year was over, you and jeno had seemed to become less and less involved with each other when your parents were invited to their house or vice versa. around midway summer vacation before junior year, you stopped trying to get jeno’s attention because you clearly didn’t matter to him anymore.

both of your parents were confused as to why you stopped talking all of a sudden. you two still saw each other, yes, but there was nothing past the glaring looks of pure hatred. ever since that night, there was never a spare of words between the two of you and your mothers’ were worried.

one morning, before driving off to school, your mother had asked you, “y/n, why don’t you and jeno talk anymore?

“jeno, why don’t you and y/n talk anymore?”

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated.”

—

graduation was two months away and it had been officially two years and a couple months since your friendship breakup.

“hello!! earth to y/n,” waved hyuck with his hands in front of your face. “what’s up with you right now?”

after breaking the news to mutual friends, donghyuck had been stuck between the two of you for the longest time but opted to just stay friends with you and jeno because that wasn’t a petty thing to do. jaemin on the other hand, was a different story. after jeno told jaemin you weren’t friends before he told hyuck, jaemin had texted you to meet by the library to ‘talk.’ turned out, jaemin wanted to stay loyal to his friend and disregard you and your feelings; and that was the end of that relationship. so you basically lost two of your bestest friends within a span of a week without a clue as to why. that was the big question, though…. why?

you blinked as you looked toward his direction. “what do you want, hyuck?” he sighed before answering, “first class is free period, dummy. mrs. choi isn’t here today.” you slowly sighed as well, as donghyuck took you by your hand and dragged you out of the empty classroom.

“let’s go to mr. park’s. we can stay there until class ends. today’s long period anyway,” he explained, dragging you down the hall and up two flights of stairs. donghyuck barged into the room causing everyone to immediately look at the loud boy crashing the lecture.

“lee donghyuck! y/f/n! what are you two doing here? shouldn’t you be in mrs. choi’s room?” mr. park raised a brow.

“ayy mr. park! y/n and i are here because mrs. choi couldn’t make it to class today. besides, you’re our favorite teacher, why else would we come here?” the teacher hummed and excused you to sit at his, fairly large, desk. “just don’t bother my students,” he warned, mostly talking to hyuck. he only responded in a wink and signed a ‘keep going.’

about twenty minutes of unproductive work had passed and you finally looked up to observe the students in mr. park’s stem class. his room wasn’t that big and there were only about nineteen to twenty-four kids in the class. scanning the room, your eyes were met with jeno’s. you slightly snickered as your eyes twitched in annoyance and turned to hyuck.

“hey, guess who’s here.” his brows furrowed as he looked around, finally getting to see jeno. but being the good friend that he was, hyuck waved at jeno before greeting him. they apparently had a handshake and mr. park seemed to notice as he told hyuck to sit back down and for jeno to focus on his work. the tan boy pouted before sitting back at his seat, making some of the girls laugh.

he came back to sit next to you and you rolled your eyes toward jeno and turned to the boy. “really?”

“whaaat? just because you two aren’t friends doesn’t mean that he and i can’t.” what hyuck said was true. you shouldn’t let your aggravation get the best of you. it was donghyuck’s decision to be and to not be friends with people. you huffed out a fine and turned back to your laptop that does not have any completed assignments— though there were only two that you hadn’t done yet. but you knew that free period class was gonna be torture for the next hour or so.

your second period class was, fortunately, in mr. park’s room with hyuck. however, jeno happened to have mrs. choi for second period and asked mr. park to stay in his class for the time being. so while the three of you waited for the students to attend, jeno and hyuck had been messing around and the room filled with their laughter. soon, as the teacher was getting ready for his class, a couple of your extroverted classmates joined along in their joking as you just sat quietly next to hyuck.

while ten minutes had passed of mr. park talking and explaining something along the lines of graphical analysis, hyuck whispered, “what’s up with you today? you’re eerily quieter than usual.” yeah… why were you quieter today?

“uh, i don’t know, hyuck. maybe i’m just not feeling it today, i guess,” you shrugged and looked back to the class work stuck on your desk. then your mind wandered off to the conversation you had with your mother that morning.

“how? you two were the best of friends. what happened to ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart?’” she asked, shoving down a spoonful of rice. but you just shrugged and replied, “hm, i don’t know, mom. he hasn’t spoken a word to me since new years of 2016. it’s been two years. besides, if he doesn’t want to be friends with me without telling the reason, then that’s on him. i quit trying a long time ago.”

it was true. after jeno pushed you off on multiple occasions, you had stopped trying to get on good terms again. he was the immature one in the first place; you just tried to fix whatever was going on.

but soon enough, second period was over and out you were to mr. yang’s ap chemistry class. sooyoung— one of your closest girl friends— had happened to be in that class as well so when you entered the room she immediately called you over. you sat down at the lab table where she was seated and rested your face against it.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” she asked, making you look up at her while rubbing your face from all the questions about your sudden change in behavior.

“nothing much. well… mrs. choi isn’t here today so hyuck dragged me to mr. park’s class and that asshole lee jeno was in there,” you explained to her but she got confused because you never really associated yourself with him since the sudden split. she was about to ask why you were so caught up with him all of a sudden but it was as if you could read her mind because your next sentence was, “my mom asked me about him this morning. she’s still bugging me about why we aren’t friends… his mom too, i’m sure. and i’ve just been thinking about it. usually she would ask and i would answer the same and be fine but i guess today is just not my day.” you'd be lying if you said you didn’t miss lee jeno. you truly did. after all the shenanigans you’ve been through, lee jeno was always by your side.

ugh just stop thinking about it. you told yourself, mentally slapping your face and turning toward the board. but throughout the entire class, you did not pay attention to a word that came out of mr. yangs’ mouth.

once the bell rang, you were snapped out of your trance and quickly packed your things to go to your fourth class of the day— mrs. lim.

walking up the stairs, you met donghyuck in the halls and told him to hurry to mrs. lim’s class before she gets upset. providentially, mrs. lim was short period and there wasn’t much to do besides take notes.

“y/n who do you have next?” donghyuck asked as he waited for you to walk to the door and out to the hallway. “language with ms. jung. you should know this by now, hyuck,” you playfully shook your head and punched his shoulder. he ignored it and asked another question, “oh! so you have first lunch?” you nodded and walked down the stairs to the first floor library.

“yeah but i’m not gonna eat. plus, i don’t know anyone during my lunch.”

hyuck dramatically covered his mouth and gasped. “yes you do, what the fuck? hello… me, duh!” you laughed at his extra self and stuck your hands in your pockets. “i mean besides you. everyone wants to sit with you anyways. and you know i don’t really eat lunch.” your response only made him pout and look at you with a weird face expression. “you know i would rather sit with you any day right, y/n?” you smiled brightly and looked at him. “... i know, but i’m just not hungry. i’ll be in the library for lunch, and after ms. jung’s class. mrs. bae isn’t here today either so i’m just going to spend my time there.”

he muttered in disappointment as he dropped you off at the library before heading to the cafeteria.

“bye stupid. thanks for walking with me.” he smirked and turned around. “bye ugly. i’ll see you here in two hours. love you.”

“love you too.” but a pair of brown eyes watched the whole scene. the scene that made his heart slowly break.

you walked into the library and sat at a vacant three seater table and pulled out whatever you had to finish out of your bag. five minutes had passed of you typing on your computer when a fellow junior— park jisung— walked through the double doors and immediately recognized his favorite senior— you.

“y/n!” he whisper shouted while speed walking to the table you were sitting at. smiling at him, you pulled the chair next to you so he would have a place to sit. then you asked him why he was here.

“mrs. choi isn’t present today so i’m just gonna stay here. mrs. bae isn’t here either, chenle’s gonna come during last period too,” he explained while getting out his computer and a notebook. mrs. bae was your ceramics teacher and it seemed like there were a lot of teachers absent that day; but it was only a regular friday.

after conversing with jisung for another twenty minutes the loud bell signified the end of first lunch and off you were to your language class with ms. jung. you left the library after packing up and bidding jisung a short ‘see ya later.’

however, you forgot lee jeno was also in ms. jung’s class with you until you saw the back of his head turn straight into her room. fuck.

shortly after he walked in and sat down, you walked through the door and toward the back of the class to sit at one of the desks. and you swore jeno was eyeing you down as you passed him, and not in a good way.

but to jeno… he was eyeing you because he just missed you. he missed hanging out with you, especially during class. ever since he had that chat with his mom that morning— as well as seeing you with hyuck in mr. park’s class, and seeing you two announce your appreciation towards each other— he realized that he fucking missed you. so much.

that day was a friday too, so your parents were definitely going over the lee’s tonight. mentally, you rolled your eyes and shut your brain from thinking anything else and to just listen to what ms. jung had planned for the day.

school was boring, though. and your class just continued doing whatever you did during your class, prior.

“okay guys! we’re together for short period on monday, make sure you finish your research over the weekend. you’re free to go.”

you just stuffed your notebook into your bag and walked up the aisle. but you stopped right when jeno had dropped his pen. he picked it up and looked at you, quietly apologizing. you hadn’t heard him, though; he was too quiet so you just paused until he picked it up and walked out of class to the front lobby. he should’ve just spoken up but he was too late.

mrs. bae didn’t have a substitute to fill in for her so you walked to the library, planning to sit at the same table which, thankfully, already seated chenle and jisung. you sat across from the boys and sighed, laying your head down again.

“what’s wrong?” asked chenle. you lifted your head up and lazily smiled before shaking your head.

“nothing. today’s just been tiring, that’s all. you two do your work. i’m gonna try to take a nap.” they both nodded and let you rest for the remaining time, making sure to wake you up before the bell rang.

—

“hyuck!” you ran up to him. he picked you up from your house that morning and so he was going to drop you off. “we have to pick up jangmi today. she stayed after school to help her teachers prepare for their spring formal.”

“really? sungho stayed after school too. what a coincidence,” he chuckled as he unlocked the car door and started it up. jangmi was your little sister in seventh grade and sungho was donghyuck’s younger brother in the same grade, attending the same school. what your poor little sister didn’t know was that sungho had a tiny little crush on her. so said from sungho to hyuck. it was cute.

they both greeted the two of you and talked about their day staying after school.

“are you guys going to the dance together?” asked donghyuck with a slight laugh, making sungho flush red and stutter, “uh.. i don’t know. it’s up to jangmi. but i don’t have a date yet.” his little brothers response made hyuck laugh and you hit his stomach.

“don’t make fun of sungho. it’s not nice. jangmi, do you have a date for the formal?” you looked at her through the rear view mirror. “no. i don’t even know if i wanna go yet.” hyuck laughed again but you flicked his cheek before he could say anything else to his brother. and then it got awkwardly quiet in the backseat of the acura tlx.

“bye, jangmi! bye, y/n!” said hyuck and his brother. “same time tomorrow morning?” he asked after rolling down the window some more. you responded with a nod and walked into your house after waving one last time to the pair of siblings. only to be met with your mother rushing the two of you to change into something formal. your sister whined and asked why.

“we’re meeting at kwonsooksoo to have dinner with the lee’s.”

“but it’s only three p.m. why do we have to get ready now?” you furrowed your brows.

“because i know you girls will take forever. plus, it’s almost a two hour drive from here. we’re supposed to be meeting them at 7:30.”

that was a typical friday night. each of your parents spending way too much money on food that’ll be half finished by the time you left, awkward and nasty looks between you and jeno, and quiet conversations of you and minjung followed by jeno and jangmi.

so while fixing up the makeup on your face, you slowly stopped swiping the brush on your face and looked in the mirror at your reflection, then to the bedside table where you remember you hid a scrapbook from years ago. setting the brush down on your desk, you turned in the chair you were sitting in and opened the drawer to pick up the polaroid picture filled book.

covering the cream colored pages were silly pictures of the two of you from birth to elementary school, fun patterns of washi tape, and the messy handwriting of you and jeno. looking through the reminiscent book, you remembered the stash of old friendship items in a large shoe box hiding under your bed. quickly, you scrambled to the floor and dragged the dusty, wood-like box from its place.

you opened the top of the box and it looked like how you remembered it looked like when you packed it up two years ago. in the box contained some more photo albums and scrapbooks, a few framed pictures, letters that jeno wrote for your birthday—your seventh, tenth, and fourteenth— a few sheets of guitar notes, and a friendship bracelet each of you made for each other. and looking through all of the memories, a single tear had dropped from your face just as your mother walked in the room. she was going to tell you they were ready to leave until she stopped mid sentence, immediately looking sad at her daughter crying because of the friendship she used to have.

“auh… y/n,” her voice was soft as she knelt on the floor and cupped your cheeks in her palms. you just cried and hugged her, constantly saying that you missed him. you missed lee jeno so damn much. and you could never say it enough.

the lee’s never saw you that night. after that whole breakdown, your mother thought it was best to not let you go. it could’ve caused more erect feelings and she didn’t want that for you, even if she did want you to tell jeno that you missed him. but she didn’t force it on you, and they left the house to meet the lee’s without you.

the following hour, a knock was heard at your door.

it was na jaemin.

jaemin had lived in the area, but you were confused and shocked by his presence back in your life. hesitantly, you unlocked the door and there he stood. from the outside, you probably looked emotionless but on the inside, you were freaking the fuck out.

“na jaemin..? what are you doing here?” you had been straight to the point, not wanting to see his face any longer. but he just dryly chuckled and said, “my mom cut the power at my house. it’s gonna be out for a few days but i just wanted to see if you still lived in the area.” it sounded like he was mocking you and it made your eye twitch in annoyance and asked him what he wanted and why he was here.

“whaat? i can’t see an old friend?” that made you pissed and you shoved the door closed. though na jaemin had a fast reflex, and caught the door with his foot before opening it again. this time, your hand was rested on your hip and the other was holding the door, preventing it to be fully opened.

“we don’t like each other, remember. now spill it or i’ll crush your toes with my door.” you were still as sassy as he remembered and it made him genuinely smile this time.

“calm down, princess. i just really wanted to know if you were home since, you know, you and jeno’s family are out.” how did he know? lee jeno, that’s how. you just rolled your eyes and opened the door wider than it was before he just invited himself in your house. didn't he have any respect?

walking in after him, you watched as he sat down on your couch and you leaned on the wall. the space of your living room was quiet until he broke the silence.

“jeno said that you didn’t go with your family today… that’s why i’m here, okay.” he looked at you with guilt in his eyes.

to be honest, you missed jaemin almost as much as you missed jeno. you confessed it to hyuck, and you were almost 100% sure he told at least jaemin that you missed the two.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered out, “i miss you y/n… jeno and i both.”

you looked to the floor then back to the blonde boy, unbelievably. the boys were pranksters and this could be a sick joke.

“don’t lie to me, na,” you hissed out and pushed yourself off the wall to walk into the kitchen, jaemin following after. he sat at the island and watched as you rummaged through the fridge to find something to drink.

“i’m being sincere. we miss you a lot.”

scoffing, you left the kitchen to walk to your room. but you looked back at jaemin, sighed, and motioned him to follow you up to your room.

your room was still the same. the first door to the right when you walk up the stairs. of course, it had been revamped, but it still eluded the energy he always sensed from you since the two of you met. staring at jaemin scanning your room, you remembered how observant he was.

jaemin always knew when something was up, whether it was you being sad, you being frustrated, or when you were just zoning out. he knew you like the back of his hand, even if you didn’t know it. he was quiet but knowledgeable.

while looking around the room, jaemin noticed the old photo albums opened and scattered on your bed. he walked to your bed and picked up the butterfly scrapbook. flipping through the pages, he smiled, and even slightly chuckled at the childish pictures and humorous comments that filled each page. when he was done looking through that photo book, he patted the seat next to him for you to sit down. grabbing the next scrapbook— a pokémon themed title page— he opened it up and leaned his head on your shoulder, causing you to freeze up.

it was as if he knew there were lots of pictures of him and hyuck in that specific book. it was your eighth grade memory book and you had known hyuck and jaemin for three years prior to that. the sweet smile was still on his face the entire time he flipped through the pages. he read and detected every picture and every little blurb of writing on each page, knowing whose handwriting was who’s.

“i missed this a lot,” he muttered while caressing the printed out picture of the four of you during your eighth grade graduation ceremony. then he glanced up at you. looking nowhere in particular, you whispered out, “me too. so much.” jaemin then sat up and faced you, wiping the tears escaping your eyes. you then looked at him.

“you know, y/n… jeno still has the friendship bracelet you made him,” he said, looking at the colorful arrangement of beads sitting on the floor. “actually, jeno has a lot of things in his room that remind him of you.” he leaned his head against your shoulder once more, lightly wrapping his arms around you to embrace your figure in a hug. then you leaned your head against his, slightly sniffling away the tears and picking up the last scrapbook you made before you stopped being friends.

flipping through the pages, jaemin recollected all the memories from two to three years ago in high school. about halfway through the book, the pictures soon came to a stop. the rest of the pages were left blank. he lifted his head up and there was a frown present on his face.

“you didn’t finish filling it out?” he questioned, getting up and closing the book.

“i didn’t get to. we stopped talking after new years.” he looked back at the page that was last filled. it was pictures of your families together during christmas eve playing secret santa. flashes of smiling faces and wrapping paper on the floor.

‘december 24, 2015, christmas eve. i hung these pictures up late this year. it’s currently january second and jeno won’t talk to me since new years night. i didn’t have the guts to put these pictures in here but these were the last pictures i had of us all being happy. i don’t think he wants to talk to me anyways…. happy new year and goodbye for now, it’s been fun :( - y/n’

jaemin’s heart broke while holding the crinkled paper in his hands. as strong as he was, mentally, his tears dripped onto the last filled page and looked to you. a single tear falling as he blinked. without a word, jaemin embraced you in a warm and comforting hug. a hug you missed for years.

slowly, you wrapped your arms around your ex-best friend as tears puddled your shoulder as he cried harder and harder. and after the ten minute crying session, jaemin had been rather sniffly and puffy eyed. feeling bad and somewhat guilty, you let jaemin stay over your house to have some takeout with you.

“is that why you didn’t go with your family tonight?” he asked, gulping down his water.

“yeah. i was getting ready and then i just remembered about it. the next thing i knew, i was looking through those pictures and crying... my mom felt bad and didn’t want me to go.” he just nodded in acknowledgment and placed down the cup. it was quiet for a few moments before a text message notification was heard.

“i gotta go. my mom’s wondering where i am.” you walked him to the door and opened it, bidding him a goodbye before he trudged down the street toward his house. just as you shut the door, your mother called you that they were almost home.

packing up the food, and tidying up your room, the jiggling keys caught your attention. it was only about 9:45 and your father walked in, followed by your family, and along came the lee’s. of course.

you scurried up the stairs and kicked the box of memories under your bed just as your father opened the door. you turned to him with your hands folded in front of you and awkwardly smiling.

“pooh! the lee’s are here, come say hi.” you figured your mother hadn’t told your father about the little scene she had witnessed. to be honest, he didn’t know how to react in those kinds of situations so you were kind of glad he was oblivious.

you ushered down the stairs in your easter pajamas and hugged mr and mrs. lee. while hugging them, they said they missed you for dinner and asked what was wrong.

“my stomach hurt a little bit earlier and mom said i could stay home for tonight. i’m glad to see you guys, though!” they cheered and nodded as they looked at their son, motioning— with their eyes— to talk to you.

jeno cleared his throat and greeted you with a small ‘hi’ before jangmi dragged him to her room. everyone remaining sighed and went to the living room while you just walked back up to your room. jangmi’s bedroom was diagonally across from yours and you couldn’t help but to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“jangmi… what would you say if i said that-” you quit listening and shut the door to your room. blowing the baby hairs out of your face, you looked around your room and was face to face with the guitar sitting in the corner of your room. it was the guitar jeno had bought for your last birthday since you stopped talking. picking up the guitar, you sat back on your bed and grabbed the music sheet from the box, playing the nostalgic tune you and jeno had randomly come up with one day after school.

stepping out of your sisters’ room to go to the bathroom, jeno instantly heard the old song playing in his ears and leaned his head to your closed door. a small smile appeared on his face as he named the notes in his head. his father had come up the stairs and startled jeno, making him move his hand against the elongated doorknob and open your door, causing him to fall back first onto the floor of your bedroom.

you promptly stood up in surprise and your eyes were wide open. was he there the whole time? what was he even doing?

jeno swiftly picked himself off the ground and scratched his head in embarrassment, looking back to his dad who gave him the look. so entering your room and closing the door, you’re met with jeno’s gaze. your heart was pounding and your breathing was heavy, as was his.

tears glossed over your eyes again until he spoke up. “....you still have the music sheet to that?” he refused to look at you.

you gulped and replied, “yeah… i was just, uh, going through some of my old stuff. i found it earlier.” the tension between the two of you was thick and no one wanted to say a word after that.

“uhm.. well, i guess i’ll get going. jangmi’s probably waiting for me.” he was about to leave until he heard your sniffling. he immediately turned around and saw you with your head down and the guitar laying on the floor. he recalled the guitar he bought you for your fifteenth birthday. calmly walking towards your fragile figure, jeno asked what was wrong.

“... you jerk…” you took a deep breath in and looked up at him. “get out of my room… please. jangmi’s waiting…” in that moment, jeno realized that he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay with you. so he did the next best thing, walked out, informed your sister in what was going on, quickly walked back to your room and hugged you as tight as he could. maybe your best friend was back.

he just constantly shushed you and held you like you were a piece of glass getting ready to break. one of his hands held your waist and the other held your head against his chest as he swung the two of you back and forth, slowly. jeno just let you cry in his embrace as small tears fell from his eyes as well. the only sounds that filled the room were the sobs that escaped your mouth.

during the time, jangmi had rushed down the stairs to let your parents know what was happening at that very moment. it was a miracle to know that you two were actually close to each other in the same room. you two were true friends, indeed.

the night ended with you drained out and falling asleep against jeno’s chest. just as he and his parents were going to leave, jeno made sure to tuck you in bed and bid you a small goodnight before shutting the lights and leaving with his parents.

—

the following morning— around nine in the morning— you were awoken by the alarm you had set prior. you can feel the puffy of your eyes and instantly remember the night before. you and jeno hugged. you were crying and jeno comforted you. to some degree, there was a small smile on your face as you stretched to get ready for work.

you worked at some pho restaurant— pho-nomenal— downtown and hyuck promised to drop you off even though you were fully capable of driving to work yourself. but he just insisted and said he was going to eat pho with a friend.

“y/n! hyuckie is here!” screamed your sister from downstairs. you replied just as loud saying you were tying up your hair. you said goodbye to your parents and told them you were off work at four.

getting in the car you screamed out what happened last night. donghyuck pretended to be shocked. jeno had already told him by the time they left your house. and hyuck told him that you were working in the morning and to have some pho before off to a college interview.

checking in, sooyoung had greeted donghyuck and sat him down at an open table. he then proceeded to ask sooyoung to ask you to serve for his table. did you mention that sooyoung had a teensy crush on said boy?

she was a little upset but you two were best friends so she just nodded and went to the back to say you had company.

“hyuck, what do you want? why didn’t you let sooyoung serve you today?” you whined while placing down two menus and a buzzer on the table. “because i want you to,” he shrugged and looked past your figure to see jeno walk through the doors. looking back to where your friend was looking, you directly saw jeno as well. that sneaky little prick.

growling and flipping him off, you walked back to the front desk and grabbed some more menus to serve the other people that filled the restaurant.

coming back to hyuck and jeno’s table, you were unable to look jeno in the eyes as he ordered first. when he was finished, you glared at hyuck as he hid his laughter behind the menu. going to the back room, you called out the order and clipped it onto the board and walked back out to stand in front of the main desk. the restaurant wasn’t that busy in the morning so you and your coworkers stood at the front ready to greet other customers and get the meals prepared.

when their food was ready, you rang the buzzer and up came lee jeno. you were going to kill lee donghyuck.

sooyoung and a couple other coworkers were unavailable so you were the only one to give jeno their food.

just as he was about to talk, you gave them their meal and mumbled, “enjoy your food.” it was all too abrupt. but he thanked you and walked down back to the table. both he and donghyuck sighed. you were too stubborn.

“no, hyuck. she’s just scared to be friends with me again. i mean, i would be too if she did that to me. we’ve been best friends since diapers…. sorta… but i still know what kind of person she is,” jeno said, slurping down his noodles and looking at your back as you were preparing some drinks for the other customers. the other boy just shook his head and got ready to take another bite.

once they were finished, and their finished food was taken care of, jeno offered to pay for the meal, just so he could talk to you. as desperate as hyuck was to have the two of you interact, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy that jeno was paying just for the sake of your relationship.

“total is $16.83,” you hadn’t even said a complete sentence. sure it made sense but it wasn’t complete; and it broke jeno’s heart that you didn’t want to see him anymore. glancing up, donghyuck gives you a look and you already know what he’s going to text you later. rolling your eyes at him, you give jeno his change back. your hands brushed against each other as you handed back his coins and it made jeno slightly shiver.

the rest of the day was pretty boring. some of the same customers, everyone ordering the same things, the busy back room. as your shift was coming to an end, you got a text from hyuck that jeno and jaemin were coming along to pick you up. just great.

hanging up your apron, you texted your mom that the boys, though you told her only hyuck, was going to pick you up from work and drop you off. you groaned and walked outside after saying your goodbyes to your crew mates.

“hurry up, donghyuck! it’s going to rain, i can hear the thunder,” you nagged while persistently looking around to spot his car. “okay, okay, i’m down the street. hold your horses.”

finally pulling into the parking lot, donghyuck stopped in front of you and you climbed into the back seat next to jaemin. he and you had exchanged phone numbers the previous night and it seemed like he was back to his affectionate self. he greeted you with a hug from the side and showed off his charming smile and pearly whites. you awkwardly hugged him back, not knowing you two were already in this stage of becoming friends again. jeno looked back through the mirror, he was jealous jaemin was working so fast and already making little progress.

“y/n… i forgot to tell you that we’re all staying the night,” hyuck mockingly laughed. “i already told your mom too. jangmi’s excited.” he finished with a teasing wink. oh brother, you mentally rolled your eyes, sighing into the leather seat.

“cheer up y/n! we can catch up..” jaemin’s sentence became less enthusiastic. you just slightly smiled and looked at him, “okay then.” and it was quiet for the rest of the ride.

opening the door, jangmi’s voice is heard from the opposite side yelling at your dad, “dad! y/n, hyuck, jaemin, and jeno are here!” the boys laughed and all took off their shoes before greeting your sister and father.

“pooh! mom’s at the grocery store right now. you’ll have to help her put away the stuff when she comes back,” he informed. you just nodded with a yes and told them to follow you up to your room. then it got you wondering. three boys sleeping over a girls house at the age of eighteen? curse lee donghyuck.

at around 6 p.m. or so, your mother comes through the door and asks for help to bring the groceries in while she’s greeting the three boys.

“hi boys. i’m glad you could stay the night here! and i’m happy you four are friends again.” your eyes shut from embarrassment and told your mom that there was one last gallon of water in the trunk.

after putting the food and whatnot away, you all walked back upstairs and it was silent for a good few moments. “uhm, we have some extra towels and i think i have some toothbrushes in my closet. you guys can just sleep on the inflatable bed, it’s all we have.” jaemin clicked his fingers. “duh, our stuff is in hyuck’s trunk. we packed everything y/n, don’t worry. i mean, besides the bed but you know what i mean.” you chuckled and nodded as they went back outside to get their belongings. however, jeno had asked them to bring up his bag and so it was just the two of you again.

you were playing with your fingers when he said, “...i’m happy you’re letting us in..” you looked up at him and shyly smiled. “it’s the least i could do. we used to be friends so…”

“yeah but i want to change that, y/n. i want us to be best friends again. remember ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart’?” his heart hurt and he was physically in pain. as much as you wanted to yell at him that this was all his fault, you didn’t have the guts to. because he’s back and he wants to be friends again.

the night ended with all of you huddled on your bed watching some thriller tv show that hyuck chose. though you weren’t paying attention at all. the four of you talked throughout the night and looked back on all the memories from middle school to freshman year.

“yeah, yeah! remember when we dared y/n to sit next to mark lee? that was gold! i still have those pictures on my phone!” exclaimed jeno while scrolling to the top of his photo album on his phone. your eyes were widened and your face flushed red, remembering the embarrassing moment.

“ugh stop. i didn’t even like mark lee like that,” you said, covering your face in the palms of your hand. mark lee was your senior at the time of that incident. you were fifteen and he was sixteen. your friends and mark all had the same lunch; but being the popular boy he was, mark lee was sitting with his other friends. they were recalling that you had a supposed crush on the boy and when they had the chance, forced you to sit next to him. it was all just humiliating sitting next to someone everyone thought you had a crush on. and you knew mark heard about those rumors going around.

“yeah okay, y/n. keep saying that,” hyuck smirked and rolled his eyes. jaemin was just laughing and having a good time listening to the conversations going on.

around midnight jangmi walked through your door and joined in on some of the joking the boys were doing. “get out jangmi! we’re talking about high school stuff, plus mom’s gonna be mad at you tomorrow,” you scolded, making her stick her tongue out and hug the older boys goodnight. brat.

you don’t remember when, but when you woke up the next morning, the only person who was sleeping was jeno. jaemin and hyuck were awoken an hour prior and they wanted to let the two of you rest since you were both notorious for going to sleep late and waking up late.

it was only ten in the morning but you pushed yourself out of bed to wash your face and brush your teeth. when you walked down the stairs, the aroma of food entered your senses and jaemin avidly greeted you.

“good morning y/n! we were about to wake you and jeno up but since you’re awake, go tell jeno food’s ready.” he turned you around to face the stairs. sighing, you walked up the stairs and back into your room.

carefully shaking jeno, you repeat, “wake up, food’s ready.” being the lazy bum he was, turned the other way then threw a pillow to your face.

“stop bothering me, monkey.” you were in a trace. monkey and bubba; that’s what you two called each other. you stared at his back, but somehow he felt more awake and sort of uncomfortable. shifting around, he turned to you and sat up.

“what’s wrong with you all of a sudden?” he questioned, waving a hand in front of your face. he must have just blabbed that out while he was half conscious and wasn’t paying attention.

“.... eat. my mom, jaem, and hyuck made breakfast,” you mumbled and walked out the door and down the stairs. from then on he wondered what had gotten into you. but while he was getting ready he remembered what he had said. monkey, the nickname he gave you when you were both eleven. jeno then wondered what would happen if he continued to call you monkey. would you be all flustered? would you complain and yell at him? or would you call him bubba? he’d hope you’d call him bubba again. he missed your nicknames.

your friends and family all enjoyed breakfast together, and your mother was stoked to have the four of you back before leaving for college. instead of the three musketeers, it was the four musketeers. you, lee jeno, lee donghyuck, and na jaemin.

after breakfast, they left to run their errands or start their schedules for the day.

—

while monday started, you wondered if jaemin and jeno would talk to you. welp, only one way to find out.

driving your way to school, hyuck had texted you where you were.

i’m on my way, just wait omg sent, 7:28 a.m.

parking your car and walking towards the front lobby, the two boys pushed through the row of doors and rushed to you. jaemin, being much more comfortable, hugged you and hyuck joined soon after. jeno was a bit on the slower side, deciding to tone down his excitement.

“ayy look at this cool guy,” jaem turned around and teased jeno as he walked to you with his hands in the pockets of his sweater. the boy just smirked and shook his head.

“morning monkey.” you tensed again, then turned pink since the energetic boys stood confused. “monkey? is that what we’re calling y/n now? because i’m totally up for it!” exclaimed hyuck.

your eyes widened and shouted, “no! you guys are not going to call me monkey. that was just a nickname he used to call me.”

jaemin spoke up, “really? since when? how come we’ve never heard this ‘monkey’ come out of jeno’s lips until right in this moment?” you glared at jeno and responded, “it was just a thing between the two of us. besides, you know i have nicknames for both of you, too.” the two boys just rolled their eyes as jeno smiled and cheered in some sort of victory. you stuck out your tongue and caught up with the salty boys who were a couple feet ahead.

but during the walk to first period, in which mrs. choi wasn’t there again, the trio was greeted by everyone as they looked at you, questioning to themselves why you were hanging out with jeno and jaemin. some even forgot the four of you were a thing, and some just didn’t know.

“woah, y/n hanging with them? nana and jen?!”

“i thought they stopped being friends…?”

“damn. i haven’t seen ‘em together since sophomore year.”

and other variations were heard throughout the halls as you, hyuck, and jeno went to drop off jaemin in mrs. moon’s room before walking to mr. park’s.

right when you three walked through the doors, mr. park playfully sighed and gave you and hyuck a look. then looking at the students whispering and already starting to gossip. oh great.

while loosely paying attention to the teachers lesson, you looked around the room, hyuck doing his work and occasionally looking up, some students— of which were mostly female— looking between you and jeno, and jeno, continuously peering over to you. when you met eye contact, he was quick enough to look away and act as if he was taking notes. was jeno really starting to like you? again?

he would probably never admit it but during eighth and ninth grade years, jeno developed the tiniest, and by tiniest he really had the biggest, crush on you. of course, you never knew, only seeing him as family and one of your bestest and closest friends. but it was all in the past and he kind of figured you never really liked him like that anyway.

you diverted your attention back to the laptop screen and started doing some more research for your language class. but as the seconds ticked by, jeno started to glance at you more and more, especially since he knew you were no longer paying attention to his class.

before you knew it, first class was over and you and hyuck sat at your seats in the same room. jeno just stayed in his seat but tapped the desk to the right of him to signify for you to sit there. sort of uncomfortably, you plopped yourself onto the desk and took out whatever you needed for his class. him and hyuck talked, as usual, but jeno made sure to include you since you were now both on speaking terms.

small smiles and shy laughter. it’s always been who you were, it’s always been one of the reasons why jeno fell for you. the whole school scene was just always too overwhelming for you, much rather being on the quieter side. it probably never seemed like it back in middle school but you were always way too much of a nervous wreck to actually do something bad. you were all bark and no bite.

so when class started, and students started to fill the desks one by one. kyong, a well-known— but basic— popular classmate came walking into the room, planning to sit in her seat, which was next to jeno, whom she subtly liked. but seeing you sit there all of a sudden startled her.

“hi, y/n,” she smiled with flames burning in her eyes. “uh that’s my seat, i’m sorry.”

you looked her in the eyes and apologized, getting ready to pack your things to sit next to hyuck until jeno stopped you from doing so and said, “there’s no assigned seats kyong. just go sit next to…. jihoon,” he pointed across the room. her eyes twitched slightly before smiling again and walking to sit next to the knocked out boy.

throughout the class, jeno and hyuck proceeded with their joking around until mr. park had enough and turned around. giving them the ‘you are a senior in high school’ speech. but to be fair, they were being a biiiit immature.

directly after the bell rang, you went straight to mr. yang’s lab class and sat next to sooyoung, after you said goodbye to jeno and hyuck. immediately explaining your weekend out to her.

“i’m sorry he WHAT?”she whisper-shouted hoping mr. yang wouldn’t hear. unfortunately he did and shushed her before moving onto the next part of the lesson he was teaching. you just made a face and nodded before returning back to your notes, sooyoung still in astonishment.

when ms. jung’s class arrived— which was after mrs. lim’s— you sat right where you had been sitting. but before you walked past him like he wasn’t there, jeno greeted you with a smile. thankfully, you did return it and got yourself situated for that class.

—

once your classes were over, you walked to your car and started the engine before jeno called you on your phone. confused, you picked up.

“hello? why are you calling me?” it sounded a bit rude but you didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

“i just wanted to ask if you left yet. you just speeded out the room and i kinda…. sorta…. need a ride,” he elongated the last part of his sentence. you sighed and replied, “can’t you drive? i know you took your drivers permit. and i know you have a license.”

“my car’s in the shop, getting the tires fixed. hyuck picked me up,” he laughed.

“then didn’t you leave with him?”

“that ass left before i had the chance. please, y/n?” he whined and you could practically hear his pout. roughly, you sighed and breathed out ‘fine.’ it seemed like ever since you were nice to each other again, the little prick had been taking advantage of you. but that wasn’t jeno, right?

just as he shut the passenger seat door, you said that you had to pick up jangmi before dropping him off.

“i’m cool with that. besides, jangmi loves me,” he bragged. you just snorted and rolled your eyes before driving off to her school

when you arrived at her middle school, she peered through the passenger window and straight away, a smile was placed on her lips. she opened the door, “jeno! you’re coming home with us today? where’s aunty?” he just laughed and turned his head to her before answering.

“no. y/n is just dropping me off today, and maybe the rest of this week,” his sentence trailed off as he looked at you, only for you to look back and scowl at him.

“maybe tomorrow. if y/n allows me,” the damn teasing tone in his voice. jangmi looked at you with hopeful eyes through the mirror.

“what? it’s not my house. plus jeno’s probably gonna make me not take him home after school anyways.” you were quite annoyed with the duo. as much as you love them, they were a pain in the ass.

dropping jeno off jangmi asked, “what happened between you two?” you just laughed and responded with a little shake of your head, leaving her confused and complaining that you were a bad sister and a bad friend.

“i am not! you’re just too young,” you teased her again since the age difference between her and you was significant. more so, significant enough.

—

graduation day. thursday, june 14th. the day you would remember forever.

it was the morning of senior graduation. nothing much was going on, just the hectic scene of constant practices and nervousness.

“i cannot believe we’re graduating high school together! first middle school and now this!” clapped jaemin with his cheery smile. all four of you were glad to be together in that moment at that time, together. after the feud, your relationship had been stronger than ever and you were all glad.

your parents had come together the couple previous days in order to plan your surprise graduation party for the four of you. it was to be held at your house, as your mom insisted to your dad, so when you all got home, your friends and families would be there.

prior to you leaving the school auditorium, your parents had treated you to some ice cream money before ushering the four of you to go out and have some celebratory treats so they could prepare the little party.

when you reached your house, it was eerily quiet. their parents had parked a couple streets down to hide the fact that they were all a part of the surprise party. so after you walked through the door, all your friends and family popped out of their hiding places and yelled ‘congratulations!’

every since you and jeno got close again, he started to realize his feelings had been coming back. and this time they came by and hit him like a whole truck. once he knew about the party— because of his loudmouth parents— he knew it then. jeno was going to confess.

but he was scared; as he should be. he was scared to lose the friendship he just gained back, but he was also scared of losing the relationship with jaemin and donghyuck. but it was worth a shot. it was all or nothing. besides, there was a chance your feelings could be reciprocated, right?

so while the sun was setting and the bonfire was getting started, jeno was seated next to you at the swings with no one to bother you. he made sure to tell his plan to hyuck and jaem— and also your beloved family— so they wouldn’t mess it up. but when jeno found the courage to speak up, the bundle of nerves distracted his thought process and he was spitting out stutters.

“hey, bubba. you okay?” your face showed concern which did not help the situation he was in.

“yeah, i’m okay,” he was upset at himself for not having the balls to confess to his first love. will he have enough courage to confess later? only time will figure it out.

looking off to your family, jeno was having a mid-war crisis in his mind. beating himself up for being so quiet all of a sudden. but while the silence followed between you and jeno, you had been having a hell-of-a-ton of questions and statements in your mind as well.

why couldn’t you confess to him already?

man up. it’s just jeno. no matter what happens you two will always stay friends. at least that’s what you hoped.

as the amount of misquotes grew larger, and the purples and pink in the sky turned blue, jaemin and hyuck had gone to the closest supermarket to pick up some s’mores for everyone to enjoy. gathering around the campfire, everyone made their own marshmallow goodness and joked the night away. until the swarming mosquitoes started to bite everyone.

and while the crickets were heard, everyone was in the living room playing your family time games with a twist. but you ended the night with a movie— or two. so as you were busy making the popcorn, your friends and families all crowded jeno and asked if he had confessed yet. awkwardly, jeno declined and admitted that he hadn’t said a word about his feelings to you. your parents had then ushered him to say a little something about his feelings toward you.

mustering up whatever sort of bravery he had, jeno trotted his way to the kitchen where you were preparing the last batch of popcorn for everyone. he leaned his figure to the wall, admiring you for a moment before softly clearing his throat to catch your attention.

just go up to her, dammit. jeno repeated in his head.

“uh— you know, monkey. i uh— we should— i kinda wanna go to the mall and— no we should go to that new seafood restaurant— no no, scratch that…. but can we-” you interrupted his cute rambling before resting your hand on his chest and kissing his cheek.

“i got the message jen,” you laughed. “of course i’d go out with you this weekend.” by the time he walked back to the living room, he was a ball of goo and all eyes were on him; especially your family. just by the look of his face when he came back, they all knew what you had said, and it was affirmative.

—

your first date that next weekend went by perfectly. jeno had ended up taking you to an aquarium and dinner for the evening and it was the best date you’ve ever had. really, it was the only meaningful date but best, nonetheless.

appreciatively, the date you and jeno and went on was not awkward at all. it was just as if you two were just hanging out as friends, but of course, better.

you were just joking along with each other and recalling smaller, more precious memories between the two of you before the conversation got a little more serious.

“i got accepted into yonsei university!” he exclaimed, not knowing you had also applied to the university and got accepted a few days prior.

“congratulations bubba! i got accepted too!” he cheered at you and gripped your hand in affirmation and proudness.

now you knew. maybe you two were truly meant to be.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

a brand new start.

august 29th. first day of the new semester of a new year, a whole mouthful.

the major you had chosen for your path at yonsei was interior architecture. jeno was majoring in computer software and media applications.

luckily, you and jeno had classes about the same times on the same days so you each had time to briefly see each other on campus or meet up while you’re both free. it was a little hard to adapt at first, but you two were champs and still even had time to meet up with hyuck and even sooyoung— who both went to hanyang university— and jaemin— who attended hongik university.

“monkey!” yelled jeno who was about ten feet in front of you. your class had just ended and you were just walking around the entrance of jeno’s building, waiting for him.

“sorry i was late. professor oh kept us back,” he scratched the back of his head. only for you to shake your head and give him a ‘no worries’ smile. it was a thursday and you and jeno had some sports meetings right after class. once again, with the same schedule. it wasn’t a bad thing, not at all. but there were times where you wished you never hung out so much. even so, you loved jeno— in fact, you were the first to pull the ‘i love you’ card a few weeks back.

walking to the campus gymnasium, the both of you get changed into athleisure attire and separated ways, jeno to the field and you just a couple of walks to the gymnasium. you had been playing volleyball to stay fit and to find a hobby while living the college life. jeno, to much surprise, continued to pursue football during his college years, so as to stay fit and to keep his passion of playing football alive.

“i’ll see you later, monkey. we have community service later, yeah?” he asked while greeting some of his teammates. you nodded and waved to your girls before jeno smiled lovingly at you and held your chin in his hand to peck your lips. teasingly, he winked and walked to where the boys went out. shaking your head at him playfully, you walked into the gym to start with some stretches and warmups.

apparently you were the best woman on the volleyball team so the girls immediately nominated you as team captain. discussing about the plans your coach had given you prior, the girls stopped chatting and got straight to practice. chanmi was one of your peers on the team who was seemingly jealous of you; of which you did not know she was, but it was better for her to know rather than for you. you had just thought that she didn’t like you, like, at all.

“ugh i don’t understand why y/n is team captain. it’s not fair,” she complained to her friend one morning. you were on an early coffee run for you and jeno when you heard her familiar ringing voice. following them from a distance, chanmi just continued to talk bad about you which made you sad realizing that she didn’t like you.

“plus she gets lee jeno. i heard he’s the best on the football team,” she whined again, “and he’s the hottest, no doubt.” her friend agreed before gushing over your boyfriend when he appeared behind you, covering your eyes and making you guess who. rolling your eyes you turned around and gave him his drink before walking to class together. the two of you had literature together— with chanmi— and it seemed she hated you even more, especially after you walked in the room with jeno’s hand around your waist, standing impossibly closer to you. but it wasn’t your fault his hand was there anyways.

ever since that day, all you received from her was snarky remarks and burning glares. and she almost never complied to you or your requests which was why the coach was having thoughts about kicking her off the team.

when your volleyball practice was over, you quickly refreshed yourself and gathered your things to walk to the football field to watch jeno finish his practice.

sitting on the bleachers, however, was chanmi— who coincidentally was jaemin’s cousin— and her little friend vigorously cheering for the boys. about five minutes passed before jeno walked to you and downing his water, saying that today’s practice was going to be a little longer than usual so you both might be late to the tutor sessions you planned to help some of the younger kids.

“it’s okay, bub. i’ll just stay here and go over some notes. i have an exam tomorrow,” you explained and looked up at him with squinted eyes. he looked around before looking back at you, catching chanmi’s attention before saying, “okay. don’t overwork that brain of yours,” he laughed as he skittishly poked your head.

“also, do you have an extra water bottle? i need it desperately, coach is working us extra hard today for some reason.” you nodded and fished out your metal water bottle to give to him. “thanks, monkey,” he kissed your temple and returned to the field where everyone was waiting.

enviously, chanmi watched the scene with her eyes and she felt as though she wanted to barf; oh how desperately she wanted to be in your place, though. it seemed as if you and jeno had the perfect relationship. of course there were the doubts but you and jeno managed to pull through and you’re as strong as ever. in which chanmi daydreamed about her perfect relationship, somehow throwing jeno into the mix. “the perfect man,” as she called him.

during the beginning of the year, when chanmi first found out about her fellow peers, some more than most, she was instantly interested in you and jeno. the constant questions of ‘are they friends?’ or ‘are they actually a couple?’ flowed throughout your classmates' mouths and you and jeno had proven to them that you were in a relationship, and very serious about it.

she sat closer to where you were sitting near the front of the bleachers.

“hi, captain!” she said enthusiastically. you were puzzled as to why she was talking to you out of the blue after the constant bashes of attitude. she was, what nineteen, the least she could do was act more mature, right? genuinely, you smiled and greeted her before striking a small conversation.

“chanmi! where’s your friend?” you asked and turned to meet her figure. toxically, she smiled and pointed in the direction of her previous seat. you’d been talking for a few minutes when the blow of a whistle stops her mid-sentence. hearing the shouting of the football coach, her pulse accelerated as she saw jeno coming closer and closer. with hopeful eyes, she hears nothing of your next words as she is solely paying attention to lee jeno.

almost movie-like, her vision slows as she drools over the boy who is running to where you two were seated.

“hey monkey!” he cheerily said before sitting to your right to collect his things to put back in his bag. “.... chanmi..”

she dreamily sighed and waved jeno a hi, but her daze came to a stop when she saw him caress your cheek with his hand and sweetly smiling at you. evidently, chanmi had completely focused her attention on jeno as she had stars in her eyes. subconsciously feeling a stare, jeno looked to where chanmi was and of course, she was already looking at him with star struck eyes. but obviously, her gazing made him feel uncomfortable and uneasy. she looked at him like how you looked at him; pure love and ecstasy. he scoffed to himself and grabbed your hand to pull you away from the girl.

“hey, hey! what was that all about,” you whined as he continued to pull you to the parking lot where his car was parked. throwing his bag in the backseat, jeno’s grip was still just as firm, preventing you from climbing into the passenger side. just as you were about to protest again, he turned around, wrapped his arms around your waist and hid his head in your neck, taking in your natural scent while nuzzling his nose against your collarbone. in disarray, you enveloped your arms around jeno’s neck and played with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

“what’s wrong, bub?” you softly said as he then lifted his head from your neck and gently rubbed his nose against yours. he shook his head and continued to hold you in his embrace. but jeno was a horrible liar, and you knew he wasn’t telling the truth.

you both never ended up going to that tutoring session for the community service opportunity. jeno had been consistently whining on how he wanted to just lay in bed with you and rest for the weekend. and you simply couldn’t refuse his cute ass.

before you could do anything else, jeno pushed through the front door of your apartment and made you lay on the couch for him to rest on you. his body stuck like a koala against yours as his head laid on your chest and his arms were once again enclosed around you.

his behavior was off the roof that day and you were perplexed by his actions. something was off with him.

and you were right; something was off with him. na chanmi was jaemin’s distant cousin— maybe third or fourth— but ever since he met na chanmi, which was almost two years prior, she appeared to be utterly in love with jeno, barely even knowing who he was. providentially, he never really saw chanmi around long enough for him to catch feelings for her, but she was always so damn sure she attracted jeno in some type of way.

chanmi had this sense of weary aura around her presence and it always made jeno feel twitchy when it came to her which was why he acted like that.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was finally senior year of university. fortunately, after everything you and jeno have been through, your relationship was healthy, and there wasn’t much more you could ask for. you even ended up moving in together in the same apartment during your junior year. everything was going to be perfect.

yeah, that’s what you both thought.

—

“where were you, y/n?” jeno asked right when he heard the front door open.

it was a friday night and you were out with sooyoung and a couple other friends to study and hang out at a local diner. you didn’t text jeno where you were but to be fair, you did try calling him three times before giving up and enjoying lost time with your friends for the night. unluckily for you, jeno had flooded you with nonstop phone calls almost ten minutes after you stopped trying to reach out and tell him what you were doing for the night. time really does fly by.

“i’ve been calling you for the past hour and you haven’t responded to me once. where the hell were you?” you knew he tried to remain calm and mature but you’ve known jeno long enough to know that he was enraged; the glint of anger reflected in his eyes and you knew you were in trouble.

the relationship you’ve had the past couple of months were not the greatest. these were one of the occasions that balls of fire were thrown at each other. accusations and yelling one after another only to make up the next morning.

but something just wasn’t sitting right that night with jeno.

“where were you and who were you with?” he stated again, hands rested on his hips. you sighed, trying to calm down the situation.

“i was with sooyoung and mark tonight.”

“then why didn’t you reply to my calls?” he was really starting to get mad.

“i called you thrice but gave up since you didn’t answer,” you said while walking to your shared bedroom to get ready to shower.

“that doesn’t explain why you didn’t pick up!” he bursted out. and to be honest, you don’t think you’ve seen or heard jeno this mad at you before. something in you just clicked.

you scoffed to yourself and rolled your eyes, “you need to chill! i didn’t do anything wrong, i don’t know why you’re making me the bad guy! we were just hanging out.” but it was too late. jeno was furious, for maybe no reason. or maybe he did have a reason.

though you denied liking mark lee back in middle school and the beginning of high school, jeno was the only person you told about your little crush on the boy. mark lee was the sweetest person ever; caring, thoughtful, and cute. who didn’t have a crush on him?

little did you know, jeno always felt jealous whenever you gushed about the boy. and maybe that was what was going through his mind right now.

but nothing happened, sooyoung and mark were close friends and she offered for you to hang out with them, of course you had to accept their request. you missed them.

however jeno just dashed out of the room, throwing his phone to the ground making the loudest noise. you really fucked up. but you didn’t, jeno was in the wrong, so you tried to convince yourself. but you were too nice to admit that it was entirely his fault. because you still loved him dearly, though the months have been going downhill. you just shook your head and showered.

we’ll be okay in the morning. or so you hoped.

when you got out of the shower, you were wrapped in your towel when you saw jeno sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. he was fuming mad at this point and wanted you to leave.

“you need to leave,” he blatantly said without looking your way. the sound of your bare feet padding the floor stopped. you were speechless. this was the first time he’s kicked you out. but you paid half the rent so you said no.

“it’s not a question, y/n. i need you to get out, we need time off.” you were taken aback by his words. what a dickhead.

“uhm, i don’t know if you’re aware of this but i pay half the rent and half of these damn bills, there’s no way i’m getting out of this house. if anything you should leave…. at least stay in the guest bedroom,” you added. when jeno looked up and finally met your soft brown eyes, the only thing you could see in his was pure anger. it made you hiccup a sob.

staring at him for what seemed like forever, you blink away the tears that accumulated in your eyes and packed everything you could.

“lee jeno you will never be a real man. you’re still the pussy i knew you were,” you dryly laughed and slammed the front door as hard as you could. you stuffed all your shit into your car and called your mom.

“we broke up.”

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

by the time you reached your parents house, you called sooyoung and haechan, informing them about the dramatic scene that happened just moments ago.

you didn’t even know how long but when you reached your parents house it was almost one in the morning. thankfully, your mother was still awake, concerned for her crying child.

knocking on the wood door, it opened immediately and your mother embraced you in her welcoming hug that felt like home.

you weren’t able to sleep that night. thinking about your relationship with lee jeno. from when you two were in diapers to when he stopped being friends with you to getting into the relationship to now. it was all a roller coaster that you did not want to go on anymore.

it was funny, your mother tucked you in your bed that night, telling you to just rest and try your hardest to not think of him.

rising against your bed that following morning, you looked like a train wreck. puffy eyes, swollen face, chapped lips. and it’s about at nine in the morning when you get a facetime call. deep inside you wished it was jeno apologising to you but it was just hyuck and jaem.

looking at you, the boys show so much sympathy and sadness through their faces, having almost similar expressions.

“y/n, we’ll pick you up today then, yeah? we can go in jaemin’s car and we’ll pick up sooyoung and mark too, okay?” says donghyuck once he heard a sob escape your lips. you nod, nonetheless, ending the phone call and getting ready to look presentable to the public.

—

luckily for you, the two boys pick up the rest of your things from jeno’s before coming to get you and the rest of their friends.

they help you put your things away in your room and hug you with so much love. in that moment, you were have to have friends like them.

“let’s go get sooyoung and mark. i wanna go to the amusement park.” they obliged to your request and the three of you walked out of your house after bidding your parents goodbye. everyone in your family was concerned about your well-being but you said you were fine and going to heal yourself with your friends.

when mark and sooyoung are in the car, the pair immediately hug you as tight as they could while sooyoung cursed at lee jeno for breaking your heart once more.

“i swear i will kick his ass. i don’t care how strong he is, bitch i will kick his ass all the way to fucking jupiter,” you laughed at sooyoung, she seemed more upset at your breakup than you were. but everyone laughed and agreed that they would all tag team and best jeno’s ass so hard that he can’t even remember your name.

the day was spent better than you had thought, you five stayed on the bay walk until dusk. then you went out to get some korean barbecue and ice cream, all their treats to make you feel better about yourself.

your friends and family really helped you get over your relationship with jeno. however, of course your mothers continued to talk and gossip about your relationship.

“they’re really doing this again? jeno didn’t even tell me yet. i’ll make sure he gets his ass beat by both me and minjung,” his mother says while on speaker, courtesy of your mother cleaning the dishes in the kitchen. she hummed and spotted you hiding behind the wall. you’d been listening to their conversation the second your mother called out mrs. lee’s name.

noticing your mother stare, you whined at her, “mom can you at least be a little more discreet when you’re talking about us?”

“we just wanted to catch up. you know, mrs. lee hasn’t seen jeno since your breakup— didn’t even know you two broke up.” you pursed your lips into a straight line before sitting on a stool. “don’t you think you guys will ever make up again? it’s happened once after constant pushing.”

you scoffed and rolled your eyes, taking a bit out of an apple from the fruit bowl.

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

but just then, you heard jeno’s baritone voice through the speaker of your mothers phone.

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated—” but before you could hear anything else the jackass had to say, you mother hung up.

you sighed out of annoyance and walked to jangmi’s room. she was supposed to start her new job today.

“jangmi, are you ready? i need to work soon too,” you shouted through her door while listening to her rummaging through her room before opening the door.

“yeah i’m ready. let’s go,” she took your hand and dragged you down the stairs. saying bye to your mother she slipped on her shoes and walked out the doors, waiting by the passenger side of your car.

jangmi got a job at some aesthetically pleasing library in town and she was excited to get the job.

you stopped and parked the car before she opened the car door. however you stopped her before she could even set one foot out.

at this point, you and jeno had been broken up for three months. but seeing jeno with chanmi— who is laughing and hitting his arm playfully— your heart breaks more, albeit holding jangmi’s arm a little too tightly. once she looked in the direction of your face, she immediately knew you had a reason.

“y/n, you’re hurting me,” her voice snapped you out of the trance you were in and you apologized and asked her if jeno and chanmi go into the library. it seemed like they were going inside. she shot an ‘okay’ sign and finally got out of the car.

if jeno was being honest, he got over your break up fairly quickly and got back into the dating jazz almost two months after. well, more like he got heavily intoxicated with alcohol and had a one night stand with chanmi. he didn’t know how or why, neither does he know now.

you drove away to an empty parking lot and frantically fish out your phone in your pocket to dial jaemin.

“nana… is chanmi and jeno, like… a thing?” jaemin found out that they were seeing each other— whether romantically or not— about two weeks prior, but he didn’t have the heart to break it to you.

the boy sighed through the phone and admitted that they have been seeing each other for about a month and a half now. but he made sure to quickly say that he just found out and didn’t know how to break the news to you. because as fine as you claimed you were, jaemin knows you more than anything, and he knows you’re still affected.

“it’s okay jaem. we can see other people, it’ll be fine,” you reassured him as you heard the worry in his voice. but even through your voice, he knew you still weren’t okay, so he drove to your house after you ended the call.

you just wanted to sit alone in your bedroom binging horrifically bad tv shows while eating to your heart's content.

but a knock on your door prevented you from doing anything you planned for the rest of spring vacation. because those thoughts filled you through the three months prior.

it was your four bestest friends, and you would trade anything to be with them; even jeno.

they didn’t end up leaving until three in the morning. making sure you were fine and didn’t have a worry about lee jeno. and it helped, for the most part.

—

when returning to campus, you immediately sensed jeno and directed your gaze to something else. however, jeno had a few things up his sleeve and wrapped his large hand around your wrist. you struggled for a moment and threatened to shout out ‘stranger danger’ though it was more immature than you thought it was so you opted to not say anything.

he roughly pushed you against a hidden wall and shoved his face in the junction of your neck and shoulders. tears.

this might’ve been your second or third time watching, experiencing jeno cry actual tears. whether in sadness or frustration. you tried to pry him off of you.

“jen, i have class. what are you doing?” you struggled in his strong grip around your waist. jeno was crying up a storm but was still glad to hear a nickname of his come out of your mouth.

after moments of seeming hours, the man slowly lifted his head from your now wet neck. you stared in his eyes and you never saw the look of pure pain in his eyes. slowly, jeno rubbed his strong nose against yours, leaning your foreheads against each other. he then released his secure grip from your torso and gently cupped your face, his fingers ever-so-softly wiping the tears you didn’t even know escaped your eyes.

that moment was all a blur and neither of you attended your classes that day.

now here you were, sitting across him, across the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen. the apartment still looked the same as when you left, besides the unclean dishes piling in the sink and crooked frames. from that previous scene to now, not a single chirp leaves your mouths. it was dead silent. until he rubs his tired face, jeno is the first to speak up.

“monkey… bubba,” he started, unable to look at you in your eyes, scared to look at your reaction as he planned out his next words carefully. but at this point you figured you knew what he was going to say. because like you said before, jeno is not a man. though he may look and feel like one, he never will be if he keeps up his immature behavior. mentally, lee jeno is not a man, at least not in your eyes. and maybe he never will be, but you’re one to know.

your eyes were emotionless and cold as you looked at his bowed head. the intensity of the room was rising by the minute as he paused on his words.

it seems as though now, jeno is broken. as broken as you were when you broke up. it’s what he deserves. you don’t feel a thing as he continued to shed his tears quietly. but one look and it’s done for.

you don’t know when and you don’t know how, but you ended up on the couch with his puffy face lying on your chest. hesitantly, the pads of your fingers traced his sculpted face as he rests after his crying session.

but why were you doing this? he’s a jackass

hm, he may be a complete asshat but he’s still your best friend over everything. so you push aside all your thoughts and only think about your middle school relationship.

‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.’

you don’t know whether it’s your best friend jeno calling you or your boyfriend jeno calling you, but you hope it was best friend jeno. because it was a way simpler time then and he was always there when you needed him most.

carefully, you lifted your body and looked at the blaring red digital clock sitting on the desk. it was seven in the evening and you had to return home. well, pick up your car from the parking lot and then go home.

feeling you moving, jeno held you closer, squishing his cheek against your décolletage. as much as you did not want to see him, jeno was still as cute as ever. if he wanted to try again, maybe you’d consider.

to hell, you are not going to consider it. you need to go home.

“jen… jen…” you whispered, shaking his body as he maneuvered his head so his nose is tickling your neck. you actually debated on slapping the shit out of him to wake him up. it’s what he deserves. so you do. not too hard but enough to wake him up and hold his left cheek.

“ow!” he whined and rubbed his eyes. what a child.

“jen i need to go home.” only causing him to pout and holding you close to refuse you to leave.

“we’re done, jen. i need to go, i have stuff to do. plus we missed class today.” he whined even more.

“stay with me. we’ll go to class tomorrow,” he mumbled through your neck. but now you were starting to get aggravated.

“lee jeno. this is absurd! you want to constantly make accusations of me cheating with mark, break up with me, and now you want me to stay? all this in four and a half months? you must be out of your goddamn mind. there’s no way in hell i’m going to stay here tonight. we can be friends, yeah, because we’ve known each other our entire lives. but if you think i’m going to get back with you, especially now, you’re fucking crazy,” you breached with tears of frustration in your eyes, “plus i thought you and chanmi were a thing. i saw you two a few weeks ago when i dropped off jangmi at work.”

but the man— or boy— stayed silent. the only noise of the passing cars filling it. tension was high as jeno looked at you with the most lost puppy eyes. but he agreed with you in his mind, he was a little immature. okay, he had to admit that he was very immature, and still is. maybe he just doesn’t know how to work relationships.

no more than three moments later he opened his mouth, only for you to talk again. but in a more calmed voice, “listen, just take me home. i don’t wanna be here right now.” you felt suffocated by the apartment you used to call home. you felt suffocated by the person, you used to call home. but right now you couldn’t make up complete thoughts. it was too overbearing and all you wanted to do was shower and sleep.

without a word, jeno rubbed his eyes and picked up his keys, signaling you to go outside. you released your temper and walked out a minute after he did and got into his car. it was his fault he would not let you go.

he dropped you off with zero words spoken on the twelve minute drive to your parents house. quickly, you muttered a ‘thank you’ and dashed out of his car and to your front door, breathing out whatever breath you were holding.

jeno made sure to leave once he knew you were inside safe. and once you opened the door, questions bombarded you.

‘where were you?’

‘who was that?’

‘why are you home so late?’

but you just shook your head and told your family that you were tired and wanted to shower and rest. leaving you alone was the least they could do.

the hot water was hitting your skin as you stood there, thinking about him. what was going on with him? why is he acting like that all of a sudden? you don’t know. but all you knew was that you needed some time away. to think and to compose yourself.

—

your dad dropped you off at university that morning. the questions that were unanswered that previous night were still left hanging from his mouth. yet you still didn’t answer the questions, you couldn’t.

thanking and saying goodbye to your dad, you got out of his car to walk into yours to mentally prepare yourself for the day. there was still about thirty minutes before your first class and you wanted to use that time to think about possible scenarios that could happen. you just hoped they don’t ever happen.

continuously, you rubbed your face as you fidgeted in your seat and stared out onto campus. taking deep breaths, you finally walked out of the car and made sure to lock it. walking to the literature building, you spotted jeno with a couple of his football friends on the courtyard. and before you met contact, you whipped your head into the direction of the literature building.

jeno sighed to himself and knew he fucked up. big time.

instead of going up to you, he thought to himself that he should leave you alone. he was being bipolar and he didn’t want to overwhelm you and your feelings even more. as much as he was suffering alone, he would stay away from you, but observe you carefully.

you actually had a volleyball game later that day— the last game of the season— and chanmi had asked him if she would watch her. without hesitating, jeno agreed to come but mostly just to see you, but he’d obviously keep that to himself. so once your classes were over, you walked to the gymnasium and into the girls locker room to change. by the time you exited the locker room, people filled the side bleachers and watched the girls (both from your team and the opponents) practice bumping the ball to each other. the opposing team was on the opposite side of the gym to practice while you were on the other. unluckily, your team was practicing on the opening side of the gymnasium and that was when you caught a glimpse of jeno. you looked at him for a brief moment and almost missed a teammates bump when chanmi had run up to greet the guy.

some of his football teammates were actually already sitting on the front of the bleachers and admiring the girls that were hitting the ball with their spandex shorts. jeno hugged chanmi because even when he said they weren’t close, they had gotten closer over the five months after your breakup. but your attention was then reverted to your friends. jaemin, hyuck, mark, and sooyoung had come to cheer on your team for moral support. since jeno wasn’t there to be by your side anymore.

“y/n, you can do this. we know you can! and even if you guys don’t end up making it, this is all for fun and we’ll treat you out for ice cream tonight. all on us. good luck!”

soon the referee blew the whistle indicating the five minute mark. there were five minutes before the final game of the season, and the final game of volleyball you’d ever play for your university. the last game was a home game so you were the first to actually serve the ball. as close as it was, the ball was bumped by a girl of the away team and the game actually started.

time was ticking, and there were only ten minutes left before halftime and the third set of the game. so far, your team was up by eight points. six. four. the bell of halftime filled the gym as the girls on each of the teams walked to their respective sides to have a team talk and rest.

“come on ladies, this is the last game. we’re ahead by four points. we can make it through the last set and win this tournament. it’s the last game of the season, good luck!” encouraged your coach as the rest of the girls discussed who was going to the field first.

“y/n, lia, chanmi, kana, areum, and sohee— you girls are up first. y/n is serving again.”

so far, your team had one the first two sets, and the pressure was up for the last set. you needed to win this. you did not care if this was for a hobby of yours. some of those girls were not so nice while you walked to the gym, giving you the side eye. you just felt like you had to win this game. not for your teammates nor for your friends. not even for jeno. but more for yourself and your pride.

three minutes were on the clock and they were up by two points and you just needed to get at least four points ahead to win the game. you never faltered your serves that set, no one else served besides you and when it was time to switch members, your coach always needed you in. you were bouncing the ball on the floor, getting ready to serve as best as you could. throwing the ball in the air, you swung your arms and for sure, the ball was hit over the net. game start.

the whistle was blown, two points given to your team. the scores were tied now and all you needed to do was gain at least two more points to win. the ball dribbled on the floor in front of you and you then served the ball, hitting it with all the strategies you accumulated throughout the years. the girls immediately missed the ball and the score was down to you again. there were now forty seconds left, as you served the ball again and the girls missed the ball. the pressure was all on them and they couldn’t get over the fact that they were losing.

“we won!” screamed your teammates as you rested yourself on your knees, taking deep breaths. your four friends ran up to you worried and helped you sit down to rest.

“y/n, you were working yourself too much during the last game. why did you not go back? you could’ve watched,” said sooyoung while she was rubbing your back. jaemin was giving you water and rubbing the sides of your arm while mark was massaging your shoulder and hyuck was sitting by your legs.

“take it easy for now. you bid the opposite team good game,” hyuck rubbed your thigh. you sighed and got out of the seat you were in to meet up with your teammates. you all stand in a line and high-fived the opposing team before you got your bag and sat back down with your friends.

“let’s go get ice cream now,” you tiredly said and slumped the strap over your shoulder.

“uhm, before we go… i dropped off chanmi here so she might need to go with us,” jaemin scratched the nape of his neck. you all shook your heads in a ‘no problem’ and he walked up to his cousin to tell her his plans for the rest of the day.

“oh it’s okay jaem. i was going to ride with jeno, is it okay if we came along?” she asked while looking behind her to see his muscular figure talking to a few of his friends. jaemin kept his composure, though, and did the mature thing. he just accepted her request and walked back to his group of friends to tell them about the situation.

when he did, all eyes were on you with worry in your eyes. by this time, you were feeling a lot better than what you were feeling before and laughed at them.

“guys, i’ll be fine. we’re not together anymore, he can do whatever he wants.” though deep inside, you were really going to shit your pants because of the circumstances that happened the day prior. but it was better for them not to know, at least not yet.

in your car seated sooyoung and hyuck. you were on your way to a regular ice cream parlor which a friend worked at.

“renjun!” shouted you, jaemin and hyuck. renjun worked at this ice cream parlor for a while, you got to know him by coming here on the regular, especially during nights when you were stressed over exams or when you and jeno were having problems. therefore the guy was actually a pretty good friend of yours. renjun was a transferee at hyuck and jaemin’s university, they got to know each other then. they developed a pretty good relationship with each other too, you could tell with the way they conversed with each other.

you were laughing and joking around with renjun and your shared friends as you sat on the matching chairs of the countertop. the red reflecting in jeno’s eyes as he watched you joke with your friends and completely ignoring him and chanmi who were seated at a booth not far from where the group was. but he decided to keep quiet and try to pay attention to chanmi, she was just trying to have a good time and he didn’t blame her. but he just couldn’t help but to keep looking back at his old group of friends that all got along so well.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was now the last football game of the season; thursday 6 p.m. jaemin and hyuck had begged you to go after you constantly refusing and excusing that you had ‘fuckton of homework.’ they both came to your house and rang the doorbell anyways, forcing you to get ready and dragging you to the car.

“come on, jeno still talks about you. The both of you are still friends, no?” questioned jaemin. it took you a while to answer him but you guessed that was what you could call yours and jeno’s relationship as of now.

the three of you arrived on the field and sat on the bleachers right above jeno’s team. just fucking great, you rolled your eyes and mentally punched both jaemin and hyuck where they did not want to be punched. with burning eyes, you glared at your friends and wished to get away from that situation. you sat fidgeting on the metal seats and looked down. there were still a few minutes before the big game and you saw chanmi hug jeno before kissing his cheek and wishing him good luck. the boys then looked to you— who was sitting in between them— and asked if you were okay.

“i’m definitely okay. i’m so okay… listen, i don’t know why you guys are so caught up between jneo and i. it’s our relationship and if he moved on then good for him,” the sarcasm was dripping from your voice. but they picked up on the bitter tone that dripped out of your lips.

you focused back on the field. and you don’t know whether it was the chilly wind or your feelings overcoming you, but there were tears in your eyes almost the entire game. not a word was spoken between the three of you. the boys were still friends with jeno so you broke the silence and excused yourself to go to the bathroom. however in the hall, stood jeno with his hands covering his face.

you were his best friend over everything so of course he noticed you were there. he was happy you ended up going after the begs of hyuck and jaemin, after begging his friends to ask you.

“hi, jen,” your soft voice interrupted his lonely session. he smiled at you and greeted you as well.

“so, uhm, how’ve you been? it’s kinda been a while, yeah?” you asked, initiating the conversation. his eyes are lit up, “i’ve been good, you? and yeah it has been a while, i hope you’re doing okay.” the conversation was more civil than you thought it would be, but it wasn’t bad, of course. better than what you imagined your next conversation would be.

“minjung’s been wondering what you’ve been up to. she misses you tons.” you laughed and thought about his beloved older sister. “jangmi misses you too. so does my dad.” the atmosphere was awkwardly quiet for a moment before you heard the whistle from the ref. you then patted his shoulder and wished him good luck before actually going to the bathroom.

your university football team won that night. and you were immensely proud of jeno. he truly was blooming into a man, especially after the conversation the two of you had. he was growing as a person, and you were happy he was. you’ve known him all his life, you knew he was changing, and for the better.

—

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart,” the two of you recited while looking through memory books from who knows how long. you almost lost your best friend because of stupid feelings, but you both learned and grew from them. it was all for the better and you are both glad to still be best friends.

“jeno’s just a friend, mom. it’s simple.”

“y/n’s just a friend mom. it’s simple.”

“we’re best friends. nothing more, nothing less.”

#nct #nct dream #nct jeno #nct dream #nct dream jeno #lee jeno #jeno scenarios #jeno imagines #jeno angst #the arcana: love readings #nct collaboration #when you need me

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ssoshimoofanfics · 6 years ago

Text

Capítulo Quatorze

5:49 p.m.

Tortura.

Quando Taeyeon concordou em trazê-las para as compras – Sra. Kim (Nawoon), Younghee e Tiffany - ela não tinha previsto o que estava acontecendo agora. As três mulheres combinaram de fazer algo especial para a noite, já que Taeyeon tinha convidado Sooyoung, Sunny e Yuri para o jogo - que agora virara “para o jantar“. A loira tinha se esquecido de que como fazer compras com Tiffany poderia ser torturante. E elas nem estavam em uma loja de roupas. Era simplesmente um mercado, um mercado como qualquer outro no mundo. E era simplesmente farinha. Francamente, Taeyeon não dava a mínima para o tipo de farinha que elas usariam para fazer a famosa lasanha da mãe. Aparentemente, entretanto, Younghee se importava bastante e Nawoon tinha se deixado levar pelo entusiasmo da mulher que sugeriu alguns aprimoramentos na receita.

Santo. Deus. Fazia cinco minutos e Taeyeon estava emburrada. Ela franziu a sobrancelha e suspirou impacientemente. As coisas que ela fazia para deixar Tiffany feliz. Ela decidiu abandonar o grupo de mulheres para pegar alguns amendoins e chocolate para comer durante o jogo - as três nem notaram quando ela se afastou. No corredor, ela apanhou um pacote grande da marca de amendoim que sempre comprava e parou para analisar qual seria o chocolate da vez. Ela gostava de Hershey’s, Tiffany dizia que o nível de açúcar era alto demais e que ela não deveria ingerir aquilo se se preocupasse com a saúde e diabetes. Ela soltou uma risada baixa e agarrou cinco barras. Aquilo serviria. Tiffany ficaria indignada. Taeyeon diria a ela que Lindt – Tiffany tinha comido uma barra inteira sozinha dias atrás - não era lá muito diferente dessa. Brincando com fogo, Kim.

Ela ainda estava observando a estante com os doces, pensando se deveria levar algo mais, quem sabe até mesmo um Lindt de Pistache para a morena - afinal ela tinha que subornar Tiffany para poder levar as outras cinco barras com ela - quando a voz de um homem soou vindo de trás das suas costas.

- Se isso é para suas crianças, eu indicaria aqueles ali. - Ele era mais alto do que Kim, os olhos eram castanhos claro e o cabelo loiro escuro. Usava um boné azul escuro que não escondia tão bem o rosto anguloso e roupas pretas. Uma tatuagem de um dragão vermelho contornava seu braço, como se o bicho estivesse se agarrando ali e a tintura se destacava bastante na pele branca.

Ela se virou a tempo de ver o homem apontando o dedo para um amontoado de barrinhas de chocolate mais ao início do corredor. Um tanto incomodada com a intromissão, ela simplesmente sorriu e balançou a cabeça, depois voltou a atenção à estante.

- Porque você sabe, eles sempre querem acabar com uma barra de uma vez, e essas grandes... Você não vai querer sua criança com tanto açúcar no sangue. Pode apostar.

Taeyeon fechou os olhos e respirou. Ela não tinha nenhuma criança e a insistência do homem estava deixando ela irritada. Se ela tivesse uma filha, ou filho, ela compraria aqueles chocolates mesmo, e Tiffany iria repreendê-la e não iria permitir que eles comessem qualquer chocolate que fosse e ponto final. Ela não precisava de ajuda de estranhos, e não precisava, principalmente, de um estranho lembro-a de que ela não tinha uma criança. Controladamente, ela se virou para o sujeito e disse um “obrigada, vou ficar com esses mesmo” antes de pegar o maldito Lindt e dar as costas para o cara.

Ela quase esbarrou em Tiffany.

- Taetae, achei que você tinha se perdido da gente. - A morena disse sorrindo, olhando nos olhos escuros da mulher.

- Ah, como eu queria. - Ela murmurou. Tiffany fechou a cara.

- O que é isso? - Ela apontou para as barras de chocolate.

- Bom humor embalado. - Taeyeon sorriu falsamente e mostrou os dentes.

- Tae, você sabe da quantidade de açúcar...

A loira levantou a barra de Lindt para a morena. - Eu não me esqueci de você.

- Oh. - Tiffany disse simplesmente. - Isso é... Bem... Eu espero que você não coma todas essas barras sozinhas. - Ela devolveu a dela para Taeyeon e ambas caminharam de volta para as duas mulheres.

- Me digam, pelo amor de Deus, que vocês já decidiram qual farinha levar. – A loira fez uma cara de “tenha misericórdia de mim” e quase cruzou os dedos.

- Vamos levar as duas e tentar duas receitas diferentes. - Nawoon informou indiferente.

Taeyeon sentiu uma pontada de irritação de novo e não resistiu a urgência de revirar os olhos. Elas passaram mais de cinco minutos para decidirem levar as duas opções. Maravilhoso, Kim. Espere até chegar aos molhos.

...

Elas gastaram uma hora no lugar para pegar uma dúzia de ingredientes. Taeyeon estava irritada, era oficial. Sua irritação só não alcançou níveis alarmantes porque ela tinha comprado mais bobagens e cerveja do que geralmente compraria. Tiffany estava ocupada demais checando a lista de compras, quais ingredientes tinham comprado, o nível de carboidratos e açúcar e sódio e, Deus, aquela mulher não se cansava disso? Não era à toa que ela demorava três dias para fazer comida francesa. A morena era tão meticulosa e organizada e sistemática quanto sua mãe. Kim, por uma única vez, ficou feliz em ter Nawoon como mãe cozinheira. Tirando as panquecas em formato de coelho - e não porque elas eram ruins, mas sério, coelho? - o resto era tudo ótimo, rápido, feito sem ensaios.

A detetive agarrou o volante quando quase passou por um semáforo vermelho. Tiffany a olhou de soslaio e soltou um suspiro de reprovação. A freada brusca não tinha sido intencional, mas ela tirou vantagem da situação de qualquer forma, porque ela adorava provocar Tiffany no trânsito.

- Taetae, você não está prestando atenção enquanto dirige? - A morena disse instantes depois, aparentemente não satisfeita apenas com o suspiro.

- É claro que sim. E se a gente não tivesse no seu carro, eu usaria as sirenes.

Tiffany revirou os olhos, um costume que tinha aprendido com a loira. - Da próxima vez eu dirijo.

- E eu volto tomando cerveja. - Taeyeon sorriu para ela, como se fosse um ótimo acordo. Tiffany lhe deu um soco no ombro. – Fany-ah, para com isso! - Já era o segundo soco do dia.

- Taeyeon, pare de provocá-la! - A voz de Nawoon veio do banco de trás.

- Stephanie, querida, o que eu te dizia sobre gestos violentos? - Younghee repreendeu a mulher.

Detetive e médica reviraram os olhos ao mesmo tempo, enquanto no fundo riam da situação.

...

Younghee e Nawoon estavam liderando a cozinha. Ditando ordens para Tiffany e Taeyeon e as duas se descobriram no meio uma grande encrenca. Taeyeon não entendia qual era o problema de colocar os ovos depois da farinha - a outra farinha, Taeyeon! - ou então de por que diabos ela tinha que bater a massa mais leve na mão se depois ela iria amassá-la e deixá-la mais firme. E Tiffany estava dividida entre ajudar a organizar o que tinha sido usado e sujo e entregar os outros ingredientes para a mãe enquanto ela lidava com a segunda massa. Não estava sendo necessariamente estressante, mas sem dúvidas duas mulheres ali já era o suficiente para fazer aquilo. Duas mulheres mandonas com algo totalmente distinto: uma optava pela meticulosidade e a outra, bem, pelo “vamos tentar e ver no que dá”.

E aquela era só a primeira parte, mas Taeyeon desconfiou de que sua ajuda não seria necessária para o passo seguinte. Quando as massas ficaram prontas, depois de uma hora e meia, Taeyeon abriu uma barra de chocolate e mordeu um pedaço, encostando-se no armário da cozinha, cansada demais por se envolver em algo que ela nem queria fazer. Cozinhar não era uma de suas atividades preferidas. Tiffany, derrotada, se encostou ao seu lado parecendo tão abatida quanto ela.

- Acho que essa não foi uma idéia. - Ela murmurou enquanto erguia os olhos para Taeyeon.

- Você acha? - A loira zombou e mordeu o chocolate.

- Tae, eu não acredito que você tá comendo doce antes do jantar! - Ela repreendeu a mulher num sussurro.

Taeyeon suspirou, cansada demais para argumentar.

- E é o meu chocolate! - Ela exclamou.

Taeyeon deu de ombros e a encarou como se dissesse “você pode me culpar depois disso tudo?”e ofereceu a barra para Tiffany. A morena rolou os olhos - em redenção - e mordeu um pedaço.

- Hm... - Ela murmurou enquanto o chocolate derretia em sua boca.

- Melhor? - Taeyeon perguntou sorrindo, vitoriosa.

- Você tá me levando para o mau caminho, Taetae. - Tiffany disse balançando a cabeça em negativo, se recusando a adquirir mais esse costume de Taeyeon. Era inaceitável ingerir tanto açúcar assim a noite, principalmente antes do jantar.

Do outro lado da cozinha, agora, Nawoon e Younghee recheavam a massa que logo seria assada. Tiffany aproveitou o momento para se servir suco. Ela caminhou até a geladeira e os olhos pararam um momento no desenho de Irene que ainda estava lá. Sua letrinha marcando cada animal pintado. Ela sorriu tristemente e deslizou os dedos sutilmente sobre o papel antes de abrir a porta da geladeira.

A partida da garotinha era algo recente e ainda não digerido, e de um dia para o outro tantas emoções brotaram dentro de si, e ela se viu tendo que lidar com cada uma delas. Tiffany não era boa nisso. Ela não escondia o que estava sentindo, mas também não era como se ela soubesse resolver tudo o que sentia. Às vezes era só confuso, e ela precisava da ajuda de Taeyeon para clarear as coisas. Como com sua mãe biológica. Se Taeyeon não tivesse intervindo no momento certo, Tiffany teria se recusado a desenvolver qualquer tipo de relação com ela, mesmo que uma relação saudável com a mãe fosse justamente o que ela queria.

Sabiamente, Tiffany afastou os pensamentos e focou no presente. A overdose de sentimentos iria gradualmente se apagar com o passar do tempo, e com sorte o que sobraria seriam sensações boas com um misto de saudade. Ela ouviu a voz de Taeyeon chamando por ela e pousou a caixa de suco de laranja no balcão antes de olhá-la.

- O que? - Ela perguntou distraída.

Taeyeon se aproximou e passou o polegar no canto da boca da morena. - Chocolate. - Ela disse e sorriu.

Tiffany passou os braços na cintura da loira e inclinou para plantar um leve beijo nos lábios. - Obrigada por hoje. - Ela disse num tom de confidência.

- Qual é, Fany-ah. Eu não fiz nada demais. - Ela cruzou os braços que estavam na parte inferior das costas da mulher menor.

- Qualquer coisa que você faça pensando em mim, significa o mundo para mim. - Tiffany garantiu e pressionou os lábios na curva do pescoço da loira.

- Ei vocês duas. - A voz de Nawoon cortou o ar. - Talvez vocês queiram arrumar um quarto.

- Qual é, omma! - Taeyeon franziu o cedo e rebateu. - A gente só tá conversando!

E agora Nawoon e Younghee riam da situação. Claro, elas agora tinham se unido para tirar com a cara das duas. Taeyeon balançou a cabeça e olhou para Tiffany, que agora tinha um sorriso tímido no rosto e olhar caído para baixo. Ver Tiffany com esse sorriso tímido não era algo que acontecia com muita frequência. Taeyeon se lembrou da primeira vez que ela testemunhara a ação.

Havia se passado onze dias depois do primeiro beijo. Elas tinham acabado de entrar no apartamento de Taeyeon, era uma noite agradável de outono e tinha sido um dia consideravelmente bom. Taeyeon prendera um cara por assassinar a mulher, fechando um caso, e Tiffany tinha tido um encontro no almoço com sua mãe biológica. O resto do dia fluiu numa leveza bem-vinda para uma sexta-feira, encerrando o período de trabalho - e da semana - de forma agradável.

Agora Taeyeon se sentava no sofá depois de pegar uma cerveja e Tiffany tirava o salto alto que começa a lhe cansar as costas depois de quase doze horas usando-o. Ela recusou o vinho quando Taeyeon ofereceu, porque ela já tinha tido sua cota no restaurante em que tinham acabado de chegar, mas quanto à Taeyeon, cerveja nunca parecia suficiente.

A morena descansou as costas no encosto do sofá e a cabeça no ombro de Taeyeon, e quando a loira passou um braço automaticamente por suas costas, Tiffany se inclinou e se aninhou na loira. Sorrindo, satisfeita com o tipo de relação que elas tinham estabelecido, ela ergueu a cabeça e plantou um beijo no queixo da mulher.

Taeyeon desviou os olhos da TV e sorriu para Tiffany, admirando a beleza da mulher, o modo como um sorriso marcante enfeitava o rosto, como seus olhos castanhos ofereciam o mesmo tipo de admiração que Taeyeon sentia por ela. Aquilo já era familiar. Alguns gestos e encontros com Tiffany ainda eram os mesmos. Se Taeyeon fosse franca, depois de ingressarem nessa relação - que elas nem tinham estabelecido um status ainda - poucas coisas tinham mudado. Era tudo antigo, e tudo novo ao mesmo tempo. Esse olhar de Tiffany? Taeyeon já tinha visto várias vezes, mas a sensaç��o era totalmente nova agora que a loira a tinha nos braços. As mãos dela em seu ombro? Cada dedo já deixara uma impressão pessoal ali, mas agora a intimidade do gesto estava em outro nível. Os lábios de Tiffany roçando no dela? Ok, isso poderia ser novo, mas era o que Taeyeon jurava toda vez que a mulher pressionava os lábios macios no dela. Até essa noite elas não tinham dado um passo à frente. Até essa noite Taeyeon não saberia o que dizer se perguntassem em que tipo de relação elas estavam engajadas. Até essa noite, o toque mais ousado de Taeyeon no corpo de Tiffany tinham sido nos seios e quadril, e mesmo assim por cima das roupas.

Elas nunca tinham discutido sobre o sexo. Isso encabulava Taeyeon, porque Tiffany era sempre uma pessoa tão aberta para isso - não é como se Taeyeon quisesse falar sobre também, mas é que ela se perguntava até onde poderia chegar ou não na sessão amasso. E ela se perguntava se Tiffany estava ansiosa por isso, porque ela estava, mas nenhuma delas tinham dado nenhum sinal. E o principal ponto, e o que mais preocupava Taeyeon, era que ela nunca tinha estado com uma mulher antes. Ela saberia o que fazer?

E naquela sexta-feira à noite, com Tiffany aninhada em seus braços, olhando-a daquele jeito, Taeyeon queria avançar mais um passo. Ela precisava conhecer o resto de Tiffany, e novos gestos, e novos toques. Ela queria saber a impressão de ter o corpo da mulher sob si e sobre si, e saber como seria segurá-la enquanto estivesse tremendo... Ainda que estivesse tão insegura, ainda que estivesse temendo pela situação, com medo de ser um completo fracasso em fazer aquilo que estava querendo. Ainda que o medo fosse quase tão grande quanto sua vontade.

Ela se moveu e colocou a cerveja na mesa e depois voltou-se para a morena. Tiffany se enterrou nos braços dela no mesmo momento em que ela beijava a mulher carinhosamente. Quando se afastaram, o olhar da outra estava carregado. Taeyeon colocou uma mecha de cabelo atrás de sua orelha e aproveitou a proximidade para segurar-lhe a nuca. Tiffany cedeu ao toque e fechou os olhos, e Taeyeon a beijou novamente, dessa vez com mais vontade e desejo. Talvez fosse só a sua imaginação, mas os lábios macios de Tiffany também pediam por mais, de uma forma exigente. Taeyeon teve certeza quando a morena começou a lhe beijar a linha do rosto, e depois o pescoço, intercalando beijos e leves mordidas.

Num movimento rápido, audacioso, Taeyeon puxou Tiffany para cima de si, as pernas da morena agora ao lado do seu corpo, os seios no nível dos seus olhos. Taeyeon não conseguia afastar o olhar dali. Era tentador demais. Ela subiu as mãos pela cintura da morena e quase rápido demais deslizou os polegares nas curvas inchadas. Tiffany fechou os olhos e respirou fundo. Taeyeon inclinou a cabeça e depositou um beijo no peito da mulher, e depois outro, próximo demais à linha dos seios, e depois outro, em cima de um próprio seio enquanto uma mão deslizava levemente, explorando território novo, pedindo permissão para invadi-lo.

A morena se remexeu no colo da outra e a respiração foi tremida dessa vez. - Tae... - Ela estava dando permissão.

A loira a encarou e ela balançou a cabeça. - Você tem certeza? - Porque era um ponto que se ultrapassassem não teria volta.

- Você tem certeza? - Tiffany imitou a pergunta, porque ela sabia que a situação era mais delicada para Taeyeon do que para ela.

- Tenho. - Taeyeon respondeu numa voz que esperou ser firme o suficiente. Ela tinha certeza do que queria, só não conhecia exatamente os meios de como chegar lá.

- Faça. - Tiffany disse simplesmente.

Sem retorno. O acordo estava feito, seria essa noite. E Taeyeon faria melhor. Ela suportou o peso de Tiffany com seus braços e se levantou do sofá, levando as duas para seu quarto. Já lá dentro, a loira sentou-se na cama com Tiffany ainda em seu colo. A morena desapertou o abraço em torno do pescoço da mulher menor e se afastou apenas para olhá-la nos olhos e encontrar algo novo ali dentro. Ela não sabia ao certo o que era, mas a sensação de encará-los aquecia seu coração. Isso podia ser mais? Podia ser intensificado? - Faça. - Ela disse com a voz rouca, segurando as mãos de Taeyeon e as devolvendo para a sua cintura.

Tiffany. Ela estava lhe convidando para conhecer o que tinha de mais íntimo. As mãos de Taeyeon tremiam numa mistura de excitação e nervosismo. Ela abriu lentamente cada botão da camisa vermelha de seda da morena e a deslizou para fora do corpo. Suas mãos subiram nas costas da morena direto para o sutiã, e com um aceno de cabeça Tiffany autorizou a ação seguinte.

Feito.

Taeyeon olhou para Tiffany e era como admirar uma obra de arte. Perfeitamente moldada, curvas acentuadas, fartas.

E era para ela.

- Fany-ah... - Ela respirou fundo, encontrando seus olhos com os da morena, nunca perdendo contato. - Deus, você é linda. - Ela viu Tiffany mordendo o lábio inferior e sorrindo, e logo sentiu as mãos da morena sobre as suas, depositando-as em seguida em seus seios.

- O que você quiser, Taetae. - Ela respirou fundo, o calor das mãos de Taeyeon em sua pele nua surtindo efeito.

Taeyeon sentiu o ar abandonar os pulmões, e os pensamentos sumirem da cabeça. Só conseguia sentir. Pele quente e macia, seios firmes, mamilos endurecidos. E de novo, ela não conseguia parar de olhar, e suas mãos apertavam e desapertavam por vontade própria.

- Eu posso? - Tiffany perguntou enquanto segurava a barra da camiseta de Taeyeon, e a loira simplesmente levantou os braços.

Camiseta tirada. Sutiã deslizando fora do corpo segundos depois. Tiffany tinha mãos ágeis. E agora era vez da morena ficar encantada com a beleza de Taeyeon. Ela subiu os dedos pelo abdômen definido, a pele alva e quente, os seios... Taeyeon estava um tanto inconfortável, Tiffany sabia. Ela sabia como a loira podia ser insegura em relação ao próprio corpo, ainda que fosse difícil de acreditar que uma mulher com uma estrutura tão bem desenvolvida e atrativa como a dela pudesse se sentir assim. Tiffany segurou com delicadeza seu pescoço e deslizou os polegares na linha da mandíbula, erguendo gentilmente o rosto para ela.

- Taetae, você é linda. - A médica assegurou e beijou demoradamente seus lábios.

Taeyeon sorriu quase dispensando o elogio e voltou suas mãos para o novo lugar onde pertenciam. – Pany-ah - ela sussurrou enquanto levantava os olhos carregados de desejo - de incertezas - me diz o que você quer?

Tiffany sentiu o meio das pernas arder com a voz rouca carregada de um pedido. Ela queria tantas coisas, mas todas em ordem, e uma de cada vez. Ela deslizou os dedos entre o cabelo da loira e mordiscou seus lábios, depois beijou quantas vezes pôde seu rosto até aproximar a boca de seu ouvido. Num sussurro, na confidência de um segredo que só compartilharia com Taeyeon, as palavras flutuaram diretamente do ouvido para o centro da loira.

- Seus lábios. Seus lábios na minha pele, Taetae. Por favor. - E a voz tremeu de excitação só com a cogitação da ação. E foi lento e quase torturante como Taeyeon beijava seu pescoço e ia descendo os lábios quente em sua pele. Tiffany segurava sua cabeça, os dedos presos no cabelo dela, talvez para esconder o tremor das próprias mãos. Quando lábios macios alcançaram seu seio, Tiffany apertou os dentes numa tentativa de reprimir um gemido, mas se tornava cada vez mais difícil com as sugadas gentis da loira que passaram a se tornar mais firmes e confiantes.

E então Taeyeon decidiu deitá-la na cama. Tiffany recebeu de bom grado o contato macio do tecido, e mais ainda as mãos e lábios de Taeyeon subindo em sua barriga. E de novo abocanhando seu seio, e “Oh!” escapou-lhe quando Taeyeon sugou mais forte e ela arqueou as costas. E não era só isso: agora a coxa de Taeyeon estava pressionada no meio de suas pernas. Taeyeon não era tão inocente quanto parecia, era apenas insegura. Tiffany mordeu o lábio inferior, sorriu maliciosamente e puxou a mulher para si num beijo demorado, aprovando a ação da loira.

E depois do beijo, todos os toques foram de conhecimento, exploração. Dedos percorriam curvas mais altas e mais baixas, e depressões, e dedos foram substituídos por lábios, pela necessidade de calor intenso em pele nua e macia, porque não era suficiente memorizar cada lugar com o toque das mãos, parecia muito mais convidativo e soava como se os lábios selassem a cumplicidade de afeição, e cada beijo pressionado na pele era como uma promessa de respeito, carinho, reverência, devoção.

E era lento, porque nenhuma delas tinha pressa - não tinham razão para isso. Elas tinham todo o tempo do mundo, e nenhuma delas queriam perder um único detalhe. E agora Taeyeon estava beijando Tiffany de novo, acariciando seu seio enquanto sentia as unhas da morena arranhando a pele levemente. A loira já parecia confortável o suficiente ali e Tiffany precisava de seus toques em outros lugares. Ela pressionou seu centro contra a perna de Taeyeon e a loira segurou seu quadril, e o movimento se tornou fácil com as mãos da loira lá, como se já tivessem ensaiado isso.

Taeyeon sabia que elas estavam a ponto de partir para o próximo passo, porque de repente pareceu inconfortável de novo. Mas Tiffany iria reassegurar de que estava tudo bem, e de que ela poderia ser tão eficaz como estava sendo agora.

- Tae, minha calça... inconfortável. - Ela disse entre beijos e não era só porque ela queria se livrar da peça de roupa. Nesse ponto a calça realmente estava incomodando.

A loira se apoiou sobre os joelhos de pousou as mãos no cós da calça da morena. A visão era de tirar o fôlego. O cabelo claro e rebelde dando contraste aos olhos escuro de desejo misturado com um toque de hesitação. Tiffany acenou com a cabeça em sim, uma única vez. Ela aguardou enquanto a loira mordeu o lábio inferior e desabotoou a calça. Tiffany ergueu o quadril sugestivamente e Taeyeon não perdeu a deixa, puxando a calça para baixo e depois para cima, quando Tiffany ergueu as pernas para se livrar dela. E agora a morena estava só de calcinha.

Taeyeon não resistiu a urgência de tocar as coxas nuas da mulher, os dedos direcionando para cima, o ponto em que ela realmente queria tocar. As pontas dos dedos roçaram o material macio da calcinha, primeiro nas laterais e depois... no centro. A sensação de calor e umidade custou a Taeyeon um gemido, e quando ela pressionou os dedos em cima do material, Tiffany gemeu em antecipação.

- Tae. - E agora era um pedido. Ainda que estivesse constrangida - ela nunca pensou que realmente fosse chegar a ver Tiffany completamente nua - Taeyeon atendeu ao pedido. Delicadamente ela rolou a calcinha da outra para baixo, e mais uma vez tirou a peça do corpo da mulher.

Tiffany manteve as pernas dobradas e juntas, impedindo a visão. Era a primeira vez de Taeyeon com ela, com uma mulher, e certamente as coisas precisavam ser devagar, ou a muita insegurança e falta de confiança iriam afastar a mulher. Tiffany a convidou para cima e Taeyeon se inclinou para ela, em seguida a morena passou as pernas em torno da cintura da outra. O material da calça da outra e o cinto roçando contra se sexo era perturbador, e Deus, Tiffany só precisava esperar mais um pouco.

- Taetae - ela sussurrou entre a respiração pesada - eu vou precisar dos seus dedos agora.

A loira beijou-lhe os lábios e depois deslizou os dedos em sua boca. - Me guia. - Ela sussurrou de volta, fazendo Tiffany arrepiar.

Um manear de cabeça.

Tiffany segurando sua mão.

Ela beijou cada um de seus dedos. O polegar, era como se dissesse eu dou permissão; o indicador, me conheça; o médio, eu confio em você; o anelar, encontre meu melhor aqui; o mínimo, cuide de mim. E um beijo final na palma da mão de Taeyeon. A palma cicatrizada, a palma que carregava trauma e dor. A cicatriz que incomodava durante o inverno e que Tiffany vinha massageando desde que se conheceram. Ela queria as palmas cicatrizadas de Taeyeon em suas costas, em seu corpo, queimando sua pele.

Tiffany guiou a mão de Taeyeon para baixo, e pressionou os dedos da mulher em seu clítoris. Tiffany gemeu à onda de prazer e Taeyeon gemeu ao contato com a carne inchada e quente. Antes que Tiffany precisasse pedir, ela movimentou os dedos lentamente em círculos, e com os gemidos de aprovação de Tiffany ela soube que estava fazendo a coisa certa.

Era magnífico a sensação da outra se contorcendo em baixo de si, o modo como ela mordia os lábios e apertava os dedos nas costas de Taeyeon - o modo como ela gemia em seu ouvido. Taeyeon estava se desmanchando. Ela pressionou os lábios no pescoço da outra e beijou, mordiscou, e sim, com um chupão deixou uma marca. Tiffany chamou seu nome em protesto, mas já era tarde demais. Minha marca, minha Tiffany. Foi a lógica que lhe ocorreu.

- Tae - Tiffany chamou de novo, e agora ela estava quase no limite. - Seus dedos... dentro de mim. - Ela disse com dificuldade e se arrepiou. Um medo, ainda que bobo, lhe ocorreu.

- Fany-ah... - Ela disse enquanto pressionava levemente os dedos. - Eu... não quero te machucar.

Tiffany balançou a cabeça em negativo. - Você não vai, Taetae. - Ela disse com segurança.

Eu confio em você.

Mais segura, Taeyeon deslizou um dedo por entre as dobras e gemeu ao sentir a umidade ali. Ela apoiou a cabeça no peito de Tiffany, respirando fundo. Deus, essa mulher. Ela deslizou um dedo para dentro e descobriu qual era a melhor sensação do mundo. Ela completou um círculo na cavidade e depois, ao pedido de Tiffany adicionou mais um digito.

O gemido de Tiffany. O modo como os dedos entravam e saiam dela. Era muito, Taeyeon sentia o próprio corpo queimando, pedindo por libertação. – Tae! - A mulher chamou alto e por um momento a loira achou que tivesse feito algo errado. Mas à pura menção de dedos diminuindo as investidas, Tiffany arqueou o corpo pedindo por mais.

Mais. Tiffany queria mais uma coisa.

- Taetae - ela disse e agora era difícil conciliar fala e respiração. - Boca... língua. - E foi o pedido mais ousado da noite. De novo, Taeyeon hesitou, mas a perspectiva de provar Tiffany em sua boca a estimulou como nunca. E lentamente ela desceu os lábios pelo corpo da mulher menor, beijando e sugando e mordiscando e quando chegou mais em baixo, a loira passou os braços pelas pernas da outra, mantendo-a aberta, e Tiffany gemeu no primeiro contado de lábios com seu clítoris, e depois perdeu o controle que restava sobre si.

O gosto de Tiffany em sua boca. Taeyeon queria molhá-la e secá-la e beijá-la. Infinitamente. E aquilo a viciou como a mais caras das bebidas, e era difícil manter a boca longe da fonte. E o corpo de Tiffany tremeu sob seus toques e Taeyeon continuava a trabalhar com sua língua ali, até que o corpo da outra se acalmou e ela traçou todo o caminho de volta. E Tiffany estava sorrindo, de olhos fechados e sorrindo, recebendo o carinho de Taeyeon. Certo. Ela tinha feito certo e nem precisava perguntar. Ela encontrou seus lábios com a da morena, num beijo demorado e carinhoso.

E o beijo demorou o tempo suficiente para Tiffany se recuperar. Agora era a vez de Taeyeon estar embaixo de Tiffany. E a médica estava sorrindo maliciosamente para ela. E seu sexo estava pulsando.

Tiffany sabia como provocar. Taeyeon fez uma nota mental de usar isso contra ela da próxima vez enquanto os dentes da morena mordiscavam seu seio e a mão assertiva e habilidosa prendia um mamilo entre dedos. Taeyeon gemeu à sensação, a voz rouca flutuando no quarto e morrendo ao aparecimento de um gemido ainda mais alto. Ela era segura, não hesitava. Não estava nenhum pouco nervosa, diferente de Taeyeon. Ela sentiu os lábios macios e quentes - sedentos - descerem na sua barriga, e a respiração quente da outra arrepiava-lhe toda a pele.

E Tiffany tinha chegado a altura da sua calça, e suas mãos trabalhavam decididamente para arrancar a peça dali. Taeyeon quase entrou em pânico. Ela já tinha feito isso com a morena, e já tinha superado essa parte. Poderia fazer de novo agora, inclusive. Mas dessa vez, ela era a que estava sendo exposta. Taeyeon se amaldiçoou. Por que ela tinha que ser tão insegura assim?

Prevendo o nervosismo da mulher, Tiffany abaixou apenas a calça, e lentamente tirou-a de Taeyeon. Num ritual de adoração - afirmação - a morena beijou a parte interna da coxa, próxima ao joelho, lentamente acariciando com as mãos as pernas magras. Ela ousou beijar mais embaixo, a dançar os dedos pela calcinha da loira, mas o desconforto ainda era notável, e ela sabia melhor do que acelerar as coisas. Num movimento gracioso, ela voltou-se para cima, para beijar o pescoço de Taeyeon carinhosamente. Os lábios dançaram sobre o queixo da mulher, a bochecha e finalmente sobre os lábios. E a morena viajou com seus dedos sobre a calcinha da loira, e ela sentiu Taeyeon se tencionar quando os dedos alcançaram seu centro.

- Taetae - ela pressionou os lábios no canto de sua boca. - Não há razão para você se sentir assim.

Taeyeon pressionou os dedos em suas costas em resposta, ainda nervosa. Era Tiffany, e ela queria que a morena gostasse e desfrutasse do seu corpo como ela tinha com o dela.

- Eu quero te oferecer a mesma coisa, Tae. - Lábios pressionando perto de seu ouvido. Mas uma vez ela deslizou a mão para a calcinha de Taeyeon. - Eu posso?

Ela esperou pela resposta.

Taeyeon acenou com a cabeça.

Tiffany trabalhou para tirar-lhe a última peça de roupa, nunca abandonando o olhar de Taeyeon, porque qualquer ponto em que seus olhos caíssem agora seria uma quebra de intimidade. Calcinha: perdida.

Ainda assim, a morena se inclinou para frente e beijou a mulher com toda paixão que sentia. Taeyeon era insegura e elas teriam que trabalhar nisso, mas não chegava a ser um problema. Ela deu o tempo que a loira precisava para se adaptar à nova situação - completamente nua, com Tiffany entre suas pernas.

- Pany-ah - ela finalmente sussurrou quando a outra apertou seu seio. E ela sabia. Tiffany deslizou a mão entre suas pernas e pressionou seus dedos no clítoris. Taeyeon gemeu inevitavelmente ao primeiro contato, e suas bochechas estavam coradas. Tiffany sorriu satisfeita. Ela tinha muito mais a oferecer. Dois dedos deslizaram pelo sexo da outra e se molharam. Taeyeon gemeu e jogou a cabeça para trás. Tiffany foi além. Dois dedos deslizaram para dentro da loira e, apesar do gemido de prazer, o corpo se tencionou novamente. Tiffany parou o movimento, mas não removeu os dedos. Ela beijou um peito da loira e sussurrou, em vez disso.

- Taetae, você é perfeita. Aceita. - Beijo no pescoço. - E me aceita.

A voz de Tiffany não era condescendente. Era doce demais, cúmplice demais aos seus sentimentos. E Taeyeon aceitou.

- Isso... - Tiffany sussurrou enquanto sentia Taeyeon relaxar, e agora era muito mais fácil movimentar seus dedos ali. Taeyeon segurou nas costas de Tiffany enquanto sentia as investidas da outra, e era delicioso e gentil e ao mesmo tempo determinadas e firmes. E foram os lábios de Tiffany em seu seios que lhe acarrancaram gemidos altos, e era quase insuportável segurar tudo aquilo, e de repente Taeyeon estava transbordando, e tremendo e Tiffany continuava a provocar sem nenhuma misericórdia, e as arfadas seguintes eram insuficientes para regular sua respiração.

E Tiffany, Deus, aquela mulher sabia provocar. Os lábios dela se encontrando com o centro de Taeyeon e a língua lambendo-a arrancaram um último gemido, e Taeyeon não podia lidar com mais nada. E era maravilhoso. Ela estava entregue. E Tiffany estava recolhendo-a nos braços e a aninhando em seu colo. Taeyeon nunca se sentiu tão protegida e amada.

- Minha doce, Taetae. - Era a primeira vez de tantas outras que Tiffany a chamaria assim. Ela beijou a cabeça da loira e Taeyeon se encolheu e a abraçou.

- Pany-ah - Ela tentou dizer algo, mas a experiência de visitar o céu e voltar tinha lhe roubado as palavras, os sentidos.

-Shh... - A morena acariciou suas costas. - Dorme. Dorme até amanhã, meu amor. - Eu seguro você.

Em algum momento da noite elas tinham mudado de posição. Tiffany acordou encarando Taeyeon, ainda dormindo, o cabelo loiro e indomável emoldurando o rosto. Linda. Tiffany queria tocá-la porque só assistir não era suficiente. A mão da loira estava jogada perto do rosto, e Tiffany acariciou os dedos, um de cada vez. Em seguida, contornou a cicatriz no dorso da mão. Cada vez que a morena olhava para ela, tinha vontade de chorar por conta da agressão que Taeyeon tinha passado. Não era justo que alguém tão gentil e humana como ela tivesse experienciado tamanha crueldade. Ela segurou a mão e acariciou com o polegar a palma levemente antes de trazê-la aos lábios e plantar um beijo carinhoso ali. Quando ela devolveu a mão ao colchão - agora com os dedos entrelaçados aos seus - os olhos de Taeyeon encontraram-se com os dela e a loira sorriu.

- Dia. - Ela sussurrou.

A morena sorriu timidamente, quase como se estivesse com vergonha por ter sido pega, e abaixou o olhar. Depois, como se para esconder o rosto, ela depositou um beijo leve no pescoço da loira e deixou a cabeça escondida ali. - Bom dia.

Taeyeon se derreteu. A detetive apostou que ela faria o papel de tímida pela manhã, e não a médica. Tiffany não era do tipo tímida. Ela narrava seus encontros e noites quentes para Taeyeon sem nenhum pudor e era Taeyeon quem torcia o nariz e pedia para que ela parasse com o assunto. Era Taeyeon quem se sentia desconfortável com as diversões de Tiffany. E então ocorreu à corena que talvez essa fosse a causa. Talvez os outros encontros tivessem sido apenas diversão, alívio imediato. Sem laços, sem conexões. Era apenas o ato sexual em si, diferente do que tinha acontecido na noite anterior. Aquela era Tiffany, e ela tinha se entregado de corpo e alma para Taeyeon. E alma. Quem ela era. Acordando, acariciando e beijando delicadamente os dedos e mão de Taeyeon. E a loira a compreendia agora melhor do que ninguém, ela apostaria qualquer coisa nisso. Aparentemente, custava mais à Tiffany expor seus sentimentos do que seu corpo.

Naquela manhã Taeyeon se deu conta do quanto estava apaixonada por Tiffany, do quanto a amava. E de quanto ela queria Tiffany ao seu lado. Só sua. De mais ninguém. Ela sentiu ciúmes só de imaginar outras pessoas vendo e experimentando o que ela tinha acabado de fazer. E mais do que nunca, ela sentiu necessidade de definir aquilo que tinham.

- Fany-ah? -Ela chamou enquanto alisava as costas da mulher.

- Hum?

- Nós... somos exclusivas. Certo?

- Certo. - Ela disse e deu um beijo no ombro da loira.

Havia outra coisa que Taeyeon queria perguntar.

- Nós, hum... Onde estamos?

- Na sua casa. - Tiffany afirmou naturalmente.

Taeyeon revirou os olhos. Por que ela tinha que ser tão literal nos momentos mais desnecessários?

- Eu quero dizer, Fany, nessa relação.

A morena ergueu a cabeça e a encarou - mais cedo ou mais tarde ela teria que fazer isso. Ela levantou os ombros levemente, parecendo incerta.

- Um título é importante?

Taeyeon balançou a cabeça em sim. Sim, era importante. - Bem... É que, às vezes as pessoas perguntam se estamos juntas e... - Ela ergueu as sobrancelhas pensativa. - Eu quero dizer à elas que você é minha namorada, Pany-ah. - Ela se remexeu inconfortavelmente. - Você... você quer ser minha namorada?

O jeito inseguro e tímido que Taeyeon colocou a pergunta fez crescer um sorriso imenso nos lábios da médica. Era quase como se ela não acreditasse na sorte de ter Tiffany, ou como se de alguma forma ela desconfiasse de que Tiffany não estava tão na dela, ou como se fosse apenas uma ilusão.

- Oficialmente, você quer dizer? - A médica acariciou o rosto da mulher com afeição.

- Eu preciso pedir para seu pai? - A loira fingiu uma cara de medo.

- Não, Taetae. - Tiffany riu e plantou um beijo em seus lábios. - E nada nesse mundo me faria mais feliz.

Taeyeon riu. Taeyeon riu e Tiffany queria saber o porquê da morena estar rindo. – Tae! - Ela chamou de novo, afastando a loira da lembrança, trazendo-a de volta ao presente, na cozinha.

- O que? - Ela perguntou confusa.

- Qual é a graça? - Os olhos estavam afiados, Tiffany queria rir também.

- Nã-ão é nada. Só tava pensando, você sabe. - Ela acariciou a bochecha da morena com o polegar e, coincidentemente como a lembrança, Tiffany segurou sua mão e beijou a palma cicatrizada.

Dois pensamentos ocorreram seguidos na cabeça de Taeyeon. O primeiro, era sobre como a noite ainda continuava, sobre como ela estava esperando pelas amigas e irmã, e como iria assistir ao jogo, e provavelmente depois do jogo, acabaria dormindo no sofá com Tiffany enquanto assistia um filme desinteressante. O segundo lhe ocorreu com uma pontada de amor, daquela do tipo que dói, enquanto Tiffany colocava sua palma da mão no rosto dela. O gesto... Taeyeon nunca tinha encarado por esse ponto de vista: um beijo para depositar o amor, ali em suas mãos. As mãos que Taeyeon não relacionava mais à Siwon, mas sempre aos dedos de Tiffany dançando ali, e os lábios visitando vez ou outra lhe presenteando com beijos macios. E Tiffany se inclinando ao toque da mão em seu rosto: colocando a si mesma nas mãos de Taeyeon.

Qualquer coisa que você faça pensando em mim, significa o mundo para mim. A voz da morena ecoou em sua mente. Oh, Tiffany. Ela não conseguiu evitar se emocionar. E deveria estar estampado em seu rosto porque...

- Taetae? O que aconteceu? - A voz veio preocupada, baixa.

A loira segurou a morena e girou o corpo, dando as costas às mulheres e praticamente escondendo Tiffany. - Você. Você me aconteceu. - Ela se inclinou e beijou Tiffany, num momento que esperava que fosse íntimo o suficiente, mas não se importando também se alguém visse.

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