#NOW THE ONLY SMAU I HAVE TO WORK ON IS HEART ATTACK

[fartagungus]

i made a horrible decision

[katiascraft]

༄“I would set the world on fire for you” | LN4 ⟢

Parings: lando norris x gf!reader.

Summary: after the Brazil GP, lando comes home to the worst week of his year. Also, it was his birthday. So even though the world hates him, you wanna make sure he is loved and he did nothing wrong. And that if you could you would set the world on fire for him.

Word count: +5k.

Warnings: written and smau. angst and fluff at the same time. Anxiety attack. Overthinking. Selfhatred. Language. And that’s it. I’m not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.

Author’s note: lately I NEED to write things to cope with my feelings so here it is. Hope Vegas is good to all of my boys 💌 don’t forget to like, reflow or comment! Ur support its way loved here. and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

Your heart was completely shattered. Your heart was racing to get out of your car at the airport. In exactly 20 minutes your boyfriend will be back home after the worst weekend ever imagined. You couldn't assist the Brazilian GP because of your work schedule. You had a few meetings after Mexico gp. And you felt so guilty about it. You knew lando would be more protected if you were there. At least in the intimacy of you, emotionally speaking. Having someone there for him to hug and to comfort him. to calm his mind. To stop the self hatred you knew it was playing right now in his head. 

Lando is an overthinker and you get him because you were also one. You knew to which scenarios his mind can travel to and how painful it can be for him to live with himself sometimes. You were fighting your tears reading all of the atrocious things people commented online. You knew that wasn't real life. But you also knew he would see all that and how that would weigh in his heart. They can never let him win. And the worst part was only because it was just him. Other drivers could do or say worse things and everybody would laugh and brush it off. But when it came to Lando, he was a monster, a loser, an arrogant son of a bitch. That hurt deeply. Because in reality lando is the sweetest soul you have ever met. And you knew how vulnerable he could be. Tho you always admired him for that. You always thought that the bravest and strongest people in this world are the ones that admit to need help, the ones that are vulnerable and open about it. In a world this cruel, that was no easy task. But he did time and time again.and he did even knowing how shitty people were gonna be to him. Though, he did it for people he knew that counted on him. Lando always talks about how people sometimes come to him saying he has saved their lives and the impact he had on them. It's something beautiful yet that weighted on his  shoulders as well, you thought. 

You crossed the airport gates. Anxiety shaking your whole body. You wanted to hug him so bad. To tell him everything was gonna be fine. 

You opened the flight information he sent you before his plane took off so you looked for the probable gate he was coming out of when landed. Even though you were anxious you were also relieved that he was home with you.

After a few minutes passed by, a lot of people started coming out of the door you were waiting for. You started gazing at everyone just to find him. After a bunch of people got out, there he was. One of the last ones to go through the door. When you saw him your body almost came undone. You were out of air for a moment while the two of you got closer. When he is finally within reach, you give him the strongest hug you could. He melted on you, hugging you by your neck. Not much time passed when you heard him crying hid in your neck. Your heart that was shattered, broke immediately. You tighter your grip unto him. He started to sob and you couldn't hold your own tears at that point. You knew he had the worst time on that flight, alone with his cruel thoughts torturing him for hours. And there was nothing that you could do to protect him. You couldn't say a word. There was nothing that you could say that it would make things better right now. 

Lando was sobbing and shaking. His levels of anxiety reached a high when he saw you standing there looking for him desperately with your eyes. He needed you. But life’s a bitch and you couldn't stay with him throughout the whole American leg. He came undone in your arms. He needed to hug you for so long. He was broken. His mind replying to all the mistakes he made. All of his wrong decisions. All of the shit he said. He was embarrassed, angry and defeated. He was ashamed of himself. Disgusted. Frustrated and scared.  

Yu rubbed his back trying to comfort him in the hug and trying to not cry so you could be the strong one for him. He needed you, you knew it. And you wanted to fix all of this in a snap of fingers, but you couldn't. 

“It’s okay baby. You are gonna be alright, I promise. I love you. You’re home now ", Yu said, to make him feel at least slightly better. When he heard you he started sobbing even harder. You let him take all the time he needed. While doing so, you tried to see where you were and how you could, if someone was recording and taking a picture. Fortunately you were almost alone. It was the last flight arriving for today. You feel relieved knowing this won't be used against him by the cruel internet trolls. 

(...)

The drive home was silent. No music, no speaking. He didn't even look at you the whole ride. He was looking through the window avoiding any contact with society you thought while driving your Audi R8 V10 GT RWD through the illuminated Monaco streets. It was around 9pm. You had cooked for him some home made pasta you knew he adored. You just wanted him to feel better. 

When you got home, he took his bags to the room with your help. You left his second suitcase next to his wardrobe and saw him lying on the bed.

“I made your fav homemade pasta. Do you want me to bring it here and eat it in bed?” you offered him with a soft voice. He was looking to the ceiling. He did not answer right away, but after a few moments he did.

“I'm not hungry, but thank you. Maybe i'll eat later” he said with a deep cracky voice and turned himself in the bed showing you his back. You frowned a bit. 

He couldn't look at you. He hated that you could see him like this. He was ashamed of himself drawing in self pity and self hatred. He felt he let you down. 

“Aln, did you eat something during the flight at least?” you asked worriedly, walking forward to the bed so you could get closer to him. You sat on the table next to his back looking at him. You didn't want to touch him just because you didn't know if he would want you to. You didn't want to be invasive. You stayed in silence for a few minutes. You understood he didn't eat, that he didn't want to either or speak. So you stood up and let him have his alone time closing the door gently behind your back.

You ate alone that night.in silence just as if you could hear him from your kitchen aisle. The past was really good. You turned off your phone after washing the dishes and tidied the kitchen and living room up. You didn't want to see what social media was saying about your lover before bed. It was already enough scrolling and reading so many people wishing lando to die. That was the hardest part of it all. You left your phone charging on the kitchen counter and went to your shared room. When you entered he was already showered getting into the bed again. You half smiled at him even though he couldn't see you. You put on your pajamas in silence and climbed up the bed. He looked at you while you were getting comfortable next to him. 

Your eyes met. Any of you said anything. Just looked at each other trying to read each other thought as if that was possible. He licked his dry lips. His eyes turned glassy.

“I messed everything up,” he said almost in a whisper. Your heart is breaking again. You shook your head at him getting closer and bringing him into your chest. You hugged him tightly.

“No you didnt baby. Sometimes people are just mean, you know? They will interpret things as the wish” you said softly rubbing his back and arm and caressing his hair gently. He felt a bit better under your frame. He felt protected but as a little kid when missbehaved so now he tries to find comfort. He didn't want to cry.he was trying hard not to let tears stream down his cheeks.  You kissed his forehead and made him look at you. “I know you dont wanna talk about it but i  love and i am so deeply and entirely proud of you” you whisper close to his face. You saw him pout and the first tears coming down his face. You hugged him tightly. He hid in your neck and eventually fell asleep. You wanted to set the world on fire for this. You wanted to ruin every single person who says awful things about it. The comments, the media. You wanted to destroy everything and everyone just to protect him. He doesn't deserve this. He is an angel and you can't believe the world could only see the devil in him. 

Lando tried to sleep but he couldn't. Everytime he closed his eyes, all of the tragic scenes from the race replayed in his mind. How the car felt, the rain, the radio messages, Oscar's voice, comments from his engineer . everything replayed in his head torturing him the worst way possible. He felt like getting down. He felt alone and miserable. He remembered Oscar words replying in his mind over and over again. “You will eventually make it, mate”. It was a positive message but he replayed it like a fucking nightmare. 

What if he never makes it? What if he doesn't have what it takes? What if people are right? What if he is actually a monster and deserves to die? What if he did? Would they like him again or figure him out? Would anyone care about his feelings? Why does it have to be him and not someone else? Why are they all so cruel to him?

He couldn't stop thinking about every single detail about the weekend. He didn't want to celebrate his birthday anymore. He had you there but couldn't look at you. He felt disgusted by himself. He can't control it. He wants to go back into go karts and stop the time when he was actually happy and having fun with his friends. Now that line between friends and enemies is so blurry for him. Max didn't talk to him like before when all of this shit started. He knew Max was really competitive, of course he did, everyone knew it since day 1. But what about their friendship? Lando shit talked, max shit talked. He felt so confused even by his own feelings around this whole shitty situation or championship situation. Whatever you want to call it. 

(...)

When you woke up the next morning he was gone. You felt kind of confused for a bit. You heard him talking so you guessed he was speaking on the phone. When you got up from bed you walked out the room to find him. When you got closer to the living room you knew he was talking to Max on facetime because you heard his voice. 

“Morning, guys” you said, getting into the kitchen for some water to take your thyroid pills. Lando looked at you half-smile. 

“Good morning baby” he said as sweetly as he could. You smiled at him. Before coming back to your room to shower and stuff you went and gave him a good morning kiss making Max almost throw up when he saw you in a funny way. You showed him the middle finger and disappeared so he could talk in private with his mate. You respected his place a lot. And i guess that’s why you understand so much each other. 

(...)

The following day things got worse. Lando hasn't eaten any meal you prepared for him, didn't even want to have take out or anything. You found him crying in the kitchen and in the garden by the pool of your house. His anxiety was killing him, you knew. The desperation and guilt were eating him alive and you didn't know what to do rather than try to talk and comfort him.

He was sitting on the sofa in the living room. His sight was fixed on the floor without moving. You got alarmed because you knew what was going on. You got close slowly to not trigger him even more. His face was red, his hands sweaty and shaking. You sat on the floor diagonal from him looking at him. Slowly and gently you grabbed his hands trying to capture his brain's attention and get him out of the fog he was in. You were almost sure he was having an anxiety attack and he started because of your touch. You gently rubbed your fingers in his hands. He was out of breath for a moment and you got scared so you tried to do as your therapist told you in case someone you know goes through this. 

“Lan, can you hear me? Try to pay attention to my voice okay? I'm here and I'm with you dull be alright” you said really softly trying to make him look at you. You looked for his eyes with your gaze. “It’s not as terrible as you think, baby, I promise. You aren't all of those things people comment” you used your words carefully. His hands caught your strength and so you reassured him. You saw his pout becoming deeper. You hurt to see him like this. It was so unfair. He doesnt deserve this, god. And he broke. He broke down again. His tears streamed down his face. Sobbing in so much pain. You sat next to him to hug him tightly once more. But now you knew it was worse. He was shaking under your arms.you let him go through this. So he can let go of all of this shit inside him. “I promise lando, you aren't all of those things. People are just mean and cruel. You are a good baby and so talented. Gifted. You have it in you I promise, I can see it” you tried to comfort him with your words as well, trying to distract your mind from the tragic thought he was dealing with by himself. A few tears fell down your face. It was a hard time. And you were trying to be strong for him. 

“I'm so stupid I'm sorry” he sobbed and you shook your head. 

“No, Lando, you aren't. I promise okay? Believe me.i know you and you aren't. And this will pass. All the people that know you for real, we love you and we are so proud of you. You had an amazing year. You are fucking fighting a three time world champion, even sooner than he did with lewis back in 2021. That’s huge my love. Your dream is near, I just know it. Because I know you, and you’ll make it, baby. You didn't let anyone down. You're getting stronger so when you finally make it, all of these moments will make it taste so much better and sweeter” you explained while rubbing his back. Your words made an effect on him. Heslowly calming down. He didn't want to let you go. He wanted to just stay there in your arms. Where he felt safe and sound. Noone could hurt him there. That was what made him fall for you. You saw him. You knew him. And you care about him. He was finally important for someone for being lando, and not lando norris formula one driver. His past lovers left him feeling confused whether they loved him for him or their idea of him. You came outta nowhere and blew him away. You were brutally honest, no filter yet so gentle and caring with your words. He thought his perfect girl didn't exist but then there was you, listening to him for hours if he needed to. Giving him the best advice and clearing his perspective. Always cheering him up. Cracking jokes so he could distract and feel relaxed. Heknew he was in love with you the moment you offered to give him a ride because he was drunk as well at a new years party. It was normal but the fact that a stranger could do that for him blew his mind. He never admitted afraid people would think it’s weird. But it is what it is. Your smile ended him right there and when you started cracking jokes he didn't want to live in that damn car for the rest of his life. So here you are 4 years later,and you still be the greatest person in the world and the one who knew him the most. He felt your lips on his forehead. For a moment he thought about leaving racing. What if his life was better without it in it? He could go back to Bristol and be with his friends. With you. Maybe start a family and have a normal job so you could spend each day together. He started crying again at that thought. He loved racing but this year was the hardest yet amazing one. 

He finally calmed down after a few minutes in silence. He looked at you with puppy eyes. You caressed his face gently brushing a few tears falling down still. 

“Would you be there with me? Could you?” he asked, making you a bit confused. And he noticed. “To the races. I need you there. Please. To every race and when I become a champion,would you be there with me? You could feel he's scared. You half smiled at him melting as his comment.

“Of course I'll be there, baby. I’ll always be there for and with you. If I could , I would set the whole world on fire just for you. Never doubt it, okay?” he nodded and you pulled him closer to give him so many little kisses around his whole face making him gigle a little. 

“I love you, y/n” he said looking at you fondly.

“I love you, lando. Everything’s gonna be alright” you said, assuring him and gave a peck on his lips. “Go have a shower and dress cute im gonna take you out on a date before your birthday” you said more lighful to cheer him up and his face lit up.

“Really?” you noddedat him and send him to shower agin funny. Before going with him so yhou both looked facy, you needed to say something to the world. You couldnt stay crossed arms and do nothing about it. 

── .✦

yourusername uploaded a story

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maxfewtrell: I CHOKED

norrisfan: omg thank u queen for this

user45: ur as dumb as he is. you cant defend him. he sucks and thats it darling. don lie to yourself.

── .✦

You turned off your phone once again. You were already so fed up with it all. Let them talk. You were sure they would choke with their own shit eventually. 

but  continued with the day. Lando was still a little off but he was looking better so maybe he is actually feeling better. You took out to dinner at a restaurant he always dreamed of going to. He was so happy to be there. The food was delicious. It was near the beach though it is colder here so we looked at it through the glass window. You gossip and talk about anything and everything as if everything was alright. And it was a fact it was. Because this is real life. Not social media. A few people stopped you while eating to ask for pictures and Lando said yes every time you even became a photoshoot photographer. Nice people telling him nice things was what he needed right now. Plus, you would never be pissed off by his fans. You were actually grateful for them. Of course, some can be disrespectful but you knew the real one was it. You really embraced Lando's life even though it’s nothing like the life you’d dreamed of to have one day. But he is the boy of your dreams so why would it be a problem. 

November, 13th

When the clock hit midnight, the restaurant made a cake for him so we all sang him happy birthday. You chose his favorite type of cake. He giggled all nervous and shy. His cheeks red while his eyes showed a little sparkle while watching the candles. He blew them. You recorded the whole thing and took so many pictures. He thanked the staff and staff of the restaurant and they let you enjoy the cake in comfort. Your heart was full to see him a little back again. 

After The restaurant kicked you out because they needed to close, you decided to do a road trip through the mountains of monaco. You always enjoy a good ride with good music and good company. And you also had sex in the car. You kind of guessed he needed to take his frustrations out somehow because you had the rough sex you really enjoyed. He joked it was his best birthday present making you laugh. He was joking again. 

“Thank you” he said while gently rubbing your naked chest. You were seated on him. You smiled and leaned for a soft kiss on his lips. You really loved him. And all you wanted for him was happiness and well being. And you would do anything to make sure he is okay. 

You came back home and had another round of sex. Enjoying yourselves in intimacy. Lando finally fell asleep after a terrible few days, in the calm of your body. His face on your bare chest. You clothed him and fell asleep relieved.

── .✦

yourusername made a post

liked by maxfetrell, f1, maclaren, francolapinto, and others.

yourusername: What can I say about you? There's no words that can describe your greatness. Or my feelings for you. I'm so grateful you were born on November 13th. 25 years ago my best friend and the love of my life was brought to this world. And sometimes what unfair is that, right? A world that is so cruel to you. A world that doesn't deserve your greatness and kindness nor your attention. You are the greatest son, brother, uncle, friend and lover. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't actually know you. We are all so lucky that you choose us to spend your time on this world with. Thank you for being who you care. For caring about the people you love and making sure we are alright and happy. Thank you for being the light that you are for so many lives. Thank you for being vulnerable. I admire you so much, lan. You are the strongest and bravest human I know. so honest and open. Anyone who says otherwise, actually, doesn't know you. I know this is not the best birthday of your life, but I promise you I'll try to make it better. Thank you for being who you are to me. I promise I see you and I care. You're the love of my life. And I'm so lucky you love me over any other human out there. So happy birthday to the prettiest and most genuine, real, fun, kind, warm person I have the chance to call mine everyday. Hope you have the best day you can have right now. That’s the least you deserve. I love you forever bestie. Don’t ever change.

tagged: landonorris

comments on this post have been disabled.

── .✦

── .✦

So you had a master plan for Lando's birthday. You went to the Hilton hotel for some coffee with Max and Lando of course. We lied and said pietra couldn't make it because she had a meeting and Lando believed. Truth was, you have contacted all of his friends and arregened flights so everyone could make it to Monaco on time. Pietra was the one in your house. You left her a spare key yesterday evening after coffee with alex. You gave her the directions and the idea of what you wanted while you and Max distracted Lando until 7pm, she decorated the house and received all of his friends. Lando had no clue of what was going on but he was so happy it was the second cake you brought to him. You recorded the moment and seeing him smile made your heart melt. 

── .✦

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landonorris: I love you greatest girlfriend there to exist. Thank u for everything and specially for making this day so much better. Ur an Angel ❤️‍🩹

⤷ yourusername: I love u more Angel ❤️‍🩹 the least you deserve is to be loved and happy.

User33: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Landostan: THANK U FOR EXISTING AND TAKING SUCH CARE OF HIM UR A QUEEN I LOVE U WE LOVE U

carlossainz55: ur the best 🫶🏻

⤷ yourusername: te extraño hermano we need to double date with Rebecca again asap!

── .✦

When 7pm came around we all “decided” to go to your house and eat pizza for dinner. Lando even said to me that they could do a stream and have fun for a bit. You agreed and all knowing that wasn't gonna happen. The ride home was so much fun. You spent the 20 minute ride screaming a one direction song from the top of your lungs. You sang Lando ‘through the dark’ And he sang ‘You and i’.it was lovely, Max almost threw up when you kissed. Luckily he was driving so he hadn't watched much of your pda. 

You got out of the car trying to play it cool though you were so nervous. You saw Max texting Pietra that you were close.the lights were off. And silent. Your nervousness took over you when you tried to open the door but let the keys fall nervously. Thankfully Max and Lando were discussing which type of pizza they would order. Finally you opened the door, lando behind you and so you turned on the lights.

Everyone jumped from everywhere saying happy birthday in unison. Yoursmile was so big but when you saw lando his smile was even bigger.

“Surprise!” you said and lando was still processing it. But when his friend started hugging him he started crying out of joy. He thought his friends weren't coming this year because of their busy schedule.but that was a lie you made them tell so lando wouldn suspect anything. Fortunately, they all kept the secret safe. Lando was so happy. 

You all spent the night playing poker, drinking gin and tonics and surrounded by laughter and love. In the moment, around everybody, you felt lucky to be there. Especially to be in landos life. Everyone was so sweet and good just like him. He deserves the world.

Everyone went home around 2 am. You were exhausted and tipsy at the end of the night. So you put your pajamas on and sled straight on the bed. Lando wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Thank you for everything. It was a great birthday. Thank u for always taking care of me always.you make me the happiest” he said under a whisper looking at you. He looked so gorgeous with that little smile and tired eyes. You stroked his cheek gently, smiling. 

“You deserve to be happy darling. You are unstoppable. Better days at work will come,I know.but im grateful that you have so much love surrounding you. I love you” he smiled widely listening to you and leaned to kiss you with so much feelings and passion. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to him and also the greatest decision he has ever made when he asked you out.

── .✦

f1gossipofficial made a post

liked by user3423, user96849, user334, yourbff and others.

f1gossipofficial: here it is @/yourusername at the McLaren garage ready for fp1 cheering for his 4 year boyfriend @/landonorris! Lando was asked about the whole drama around the Brazil gp and his birthday and her statement and he said ‘I’m lucky to have her. I would set the world on fire for her. So yeah. We are the same that is why we work so well. It was a great birthday though. She brought my whole group of friend to Monaco for a poker night so yeah’ also he said that if it wasn’t for her he would’ve collapsed on his overthinking but thankfully she was there. We love a power couple on the grid!! What do we think about all of this? #LasVegasGP2024

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User1873: they are both the same shit tbh

User23: I LOVE THEM GREATEST COUPLE ON THE GRID

User29873: I don’t like lando but she cute supporting him like that. I saw she gave a kiss to him before getting into the car. They seem in love!

⤷ Usrr988: I KNOW TIGHT I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY I CAUGHT THAT KISS IN THE OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION

Yourbff: she is the greatest person you would know!! Let’s go lan!!!

User564: Max will win the dwc and NOTHING would change that or move me so

User90: omg she is so pretty

y/nstan: how lucky lando is to have her. She is always the sweetest to all of his fans. And also funny. Such a queen!

User897: where are the pictures of them arriving together????????! I NEED THEM

⤷ user45: so iconic need to marry asap

── .✦

It was the day. The day you were back to media duties. Back to being a target for social media. Back supporting your boyfriend no matter what. You even went on media day to be there for him if he needed it. You chatted with everyone around to entertain yourself while he was doing interviews. 

Oscar helped a lot and the whole McLaren team to make Lando feel safe and actually enjoy the weekend. You Were grateful for it. At least they decided not to be dicks in front of his face. 

Fp1 was about to start and you were proudly there in the garage to cheer on him. You were also anxious because you felt things almost like him and this competition is rather never racking. You kissed him gently but shortly. A good luck kiss before getting into the car. He smiled widely. 

“Go be the best you can be. You’re great” you told him sweetly.

“I'll try my best to impress you,” he replied, letting go of your hand. 

“You already do everyday babe” you said smiling making him grin before walking into the car to start the first session of the weekend. 

You watched from there how fp1 unfolded hoping this would be a great weekend.

── .✦ FIN

Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send your requests!

[beneathashadytree]

HI GUYS! LONG POST, MAKING A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT OVER HERE! I WILL BE ACCEPTING WRITING COMMISSIONS FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, DUE TO THE FACT THAT I LIVE IN EXTREME POVERTY… PLEASE REBLOG!!

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As some of you might already know, I’m a dentist, but still at uni. Sadly, studying dentistry is extremely expensive, and I can’t rely on my parents to pay my fees for me for a few reasons.

The first being that my dad is a heart patient, and can’t work anymore. The pension he receives is literally less than the equivalent of 90 dollars. Of course, that doesn’t provide anything in terms of food and living (we usually can only afford a meal or two a day) except for some of his meds—not even all of them. His health is steadily declining.

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I am in serious, dire need of money, both for my tuition fees, and hopefully to be able to live. I have to keep us afloat until I can get married in a couple of years, since I can’t live alone. Besides, my dad doesn’t deserve to suffer with his heart problems.

I tried working with dentistry last year, and that worked for a while, but this year no one’s hiring due to the terrible state of our economy. I have no skills aside from my writing, so that’s what I’ll have to work with. I’m getting seriously desperate, so I hope you guys understand why I’m doing this, and hopefully feel inclined to offer any support you can—even if not financial, but just by reblogging this post!

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— plus one 【picturesque/ayato smau】

【 masterlist 】 there is a written portion here after the first 6 photos!!

“I know I said I'll cling onto you the whole event, but I didn't expect to actually be forced into doing that,” I grumbled as my grip on Ayato's tan suit jacket grew tighter. “It's so crowded…” Before I had the opportunity to react, my hand shifted away from the cloth texture and was replaced by the feeling of cool and gentle skin. “In that case, I believe holding my hand will prove to be more effective," Ayato chuckled. I highly doubt anything like that will make this more effective. If only a great technique to raise my heartbeat, but a heart attack is not what we're aiming for here. We weren't at the event early, but I wouldn't say we were late either, so the number of people already here was astonishing.

"Is there a corner with fewer people we can rest at?" I peeked out from behind Ayato's shoulder. "There should be. Come with me," he began to move forward through the crowd. I had no choice but to be dragged along, though it wasn't nearly as unpleasant as I had expected. He already knew his way around these events, so it made sense that I would look like a lost dog in comparison.

"I almost regret agreeing to come with you." A pout showed up on my face as we finally found an area against a wall that wasn't so densely populated. "Don't worry, it's only like this until everyone gets situated. However, if you want to leave early at any point, just let me know. This is a lot for someone's first time at an event like this." The smile on Ayato's face felt like honey, so much that it almost made me forget why I was overwhelmed in the first place. "I just have to remember everyone is here to bond over photography, and then I'm golden... I think."

"You think? Haha," Ayato chuckled, covering his face with his palm as if he was pretending he didn't find my misery funny. "Hey," my pout grew ever stronger. "It's okay. I understand. There were days when I thought the older photographers were going to maul me like a pack of aggressive bears. Of course, I was only in my late teens at the time. It takes experience, which is why I'm willing to let you hold my hand through this... There was nobody to hold mine when I was alone trying to pave my path through these crowds."

I stayed silent for a moment. There was plenty of time to ponder over his words later, but I couldn't help chewing my lip over them now. It was a reminder that he wasn't so different from me, regardless of our status or position in anything. We were both just photographers, and we happened to become friends, too.

"I remember when I first started taking my photography classes at the Uni. It wasn't too unlike what you're describing now. I was seated next to someone who worked so hard that I thought my brain was going to explode when I peeked at their computer screen."

"But isn't that similar to you now? Working so hard to create a photobook, pushing along through your classes, balancing everything your heart desires. I'm sure even [Name] from the past worked equally hard."

"Then it seems both of us are ever-growing and tweaking our skill," I turned my head to face Ayato instead of the various tables with food I was staring at in order to avoid making eye contact with the man next to me. "Why did you really take me here, instead of your sister or one of your friends?"

"What I already told you is true. I think it can open a lot of doors for you. It might be slightly selfish of me, but I want to make sure your goals are ones you can achieve. Because your future matters to me in that aspect."

Just as quickly as my mouth opened to respond and question Ayato further, it went closed again. There was a crowd of people heading over at full speed now that the event was finally settling into place. Perhaps now wasn't the right time for this conversation. I tried to back away and distance myself from Ayato as the people grew closer, afraid of getting in the way, but I didn't get far before I felt a tug on my hand. By 'not far', I meant not even a single step away.

"I thought you wanted someone to keep the anxieties at bay? Don't say a word about the people coming over, I'll handle them. You only need to listen and stick close, [Name]." Ayato's hand was closed on mine, squeezing it so that I couldn't leave, and the smile on his face never faltered. Neither did his attempt at pulling me closer towards him. So he was serious. Right. The whole reason for me being here was to become comfortable with this community, so it makes sense for me to stick around.

But why was he so painfully insistent, and why was his grip on my hand so comforting, and why did his cologne smell as nice as it did? Why did his voice echo through my skull like smooth water running down a creek? Why was his proximity to me like a warm blanket on a winter night, even when he was the one who pulled me so close when I tried to step away?

"So you all have been gossiping about who I choose to bring to my events like it's any of your business? However, if your interest longs to be satiated so strongly, this is a close friend of mine who is working on diving into the photography world. Treat them with as much respect as you would with me." Ayato was beside me, but for most of this interaction, it sounded like he was miles away. To jump into something as large as this, I felt both thrilled and privileged. But I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat that was fear of too much eyes on me, anxiety that my talent wasn't good enough to even be here.

"Would you like some refreshments? We have sparkling wine, as well as tomato sandwiches personally made by our gourmet chef." The staff member brought my attention back to reality as they offered me a few treats from a platter. "I'm alright, but thank you." I shook off any remaining negative thoughts that were floating around with a deep breath. That was when I realized half of the eyes around us that I originally thought were staring at us with critique and judgment were actually giving looks of bewilderment, almost like they were admiring gazes.

"Don't they look like a power couple?" Two nearby women's conversation faded in through my ears. "I see it. The way Mr. Kamisato is holding their hand... There's no way they're not a couple, right?"

Okay. Maybe not the conversation I want to be eavesdropping on. I tried to grab my hand and shake it away from Ayato's, but it was to no avail. "Is there something wrong?" He looked back at me after waving away a photographer I recognized as the creator of one of the photobooks I had at home, sitting in my dorm room. "No, I guess not... Just how high popularity are some of these people?..." I mumbled. "I think the fact I'm here says enough," Ayato silently laughed, regaining his posture quickly after.

"Can't believe I forgot you're the infamous Kamisato Ayato, pfft," I laughed as some of the pressure dropped off my shoulders. "Only to the majority of people here. To you, I'm just Ayato."

Maybe it wouldn't be too much of a pain to get used to this.

— ruptured appendix situation still going strong but i had to bust out this chapter LOL hopefully the written portion serves as a little treat bc i'm gonna cry myself to sleep if nobody likes it /j, i love it and that's all that matters. ayato is so hot.

��� taglist; @griseoo @fangygf @calamitygutz @driftwoodmanor @meigalaxy @kyon-cherri @xiaossocksniffer @quacking-simp @kaitfae @imgayandshesanime @lxry-chxn @ni-ki-ismyluv @cante-lope @kookiibun @kamisatoyato @astolary @dontmindtheevie @sn1perz @0range-juiceee @h3xi2g0n3 @eutopiastar @samyayaya

[kittyhui]

woozi as all the love languages

word count: 769 (cute little imagine)

a/n: for ppl reading my smau im sorry for not updating, my writers block is so bad rn😭😭

words of affirmation

- he LOVES praise.

- whenever you come to the studio and listen to something he’s working on, he waits for your lovely words saying that he’s doing so well and that the song sounds amazing

- his ears would blush a pretty pink and he’d cover his face in embarrassment

- talk pretty to him.. he’ll have a heart attack. he just wants to know he’s doing good💔

- but on the other end, he has a hard time praising his SO.

- he doesn’t like to say ‘i love you’. he thinks that after a while it loses its meaning and wont feel as special

- tbh he probably wouldn’t even say those words until like 9 months to a year into the relationship (hes the type to not even say it until his wedding day😭)

- almost any attempt of giving praise comes with stuttering and blushing

acts of service

- because hes so busy, he would really appreciate receiving acts of services

- if you live together, he loves when you tie his tie if he has to dress up in the morning

- in return he’ll make you breakfast and coffee just the way you like it before he heads to the studio

- if you work out with him, he’ll love if you could spot him and vice verse.

- he doesn’t want people to know, buts he’s a princess. giving him massages when he gets home or giving him a full skincare routine and running a bath, he just would feel so loved, especially after a long day of practice

gift giving

- he has a lot of money, he wont deny it, but he won’t spend his money all willy-nilly

- he loves to spoil you but he only does it every now and then

- he’ll STALK all your socials to see what you want if you didn’t already flat out tell him.

- if he knows he wont be home for a while or cant spend time with you (tour, comeback, etc) he’ll slip a few gifts onto your bed, wrapped nice and pretty. he loves when you send him photos or video call him, showing how much you love whatever you got. he cant stop the smile on his face anytime he sees your happiness

- on the other end, jihoon doesn’t like receiving gifts

- he doesn’t want you to waste your money on him and really he’ll only ask for something for his birthday and it will never be something outrageous. if you do a form of art, he’d LOVE to receive something you painted or drew or wrote. if you made music as well, he’d probably cry if you wrote a song for him

quality time

- he’s busy like all the time, but best believe he’ll message you, call you, and try to visit you as much as he can.

- when he’s home or visiting you, you rarely go out

- woozi, the homebody he is, loves movie nights and cooking dinner together.

- watching a movie on your couch while eating a home cooked meal on his rest day is the most domestic thing in jihoon’s mind, it makes his heart flutter everytime.

- even if he doesn’t want to do something, just spending time with his SO without talking is something that he loves

- doing his own thing at the same time as you in comfortable silence is very calming to him and it happens a lot when hes working in the studio and you come to visit

- if the two of you wanted to leave the house to do something together, gym dates, Michelin restaurants and picnics are things he would love to do.

physical touch

- contrary to what most people would think he actually loves physical affection.

- ESPECIALLY when sleeping.

- have yall seen the LieV sleepover stream? woozi is like that with his SO.

- he’s big spoon all the way. he will wrap his legs around you a snuggle his head into your neck when its cold out.

- he’s not a big fan of pda tho. even with the members, he gets bright red even from just a simple peck on the cheek

- the most he would initiate/let you initiate in public is pinky locking when walking and short shoulder touches in passing.

- but as i said before, once he gets home ALONE, he’s all on you.

- hes still shy tho, most of the time you will initiate it.

- he’ll pull you into kisses every now and then, keeping you close to him for hours

- its hard for him to say ‘i love you’ so this is the best way in his opinion

- favorite type of physical affection: cuddling

[tmwcs]

Hey! Its my first time sending an ask hehe~ I just wanted to say that you’re such an amazing writer and your series are just sooooo good!!! 😍😍😍 I started getting into your account when I came across the smau for MRE and HHP and I gotta say, you got me hooked so bad onto Heethan that I end up loving all your Hee-leads so far! I’m so invested in HHP, SE7EN, DT and now TO! I’m honestly so excited to read a new chapter everytime you post hahaha! 🤭🤭

The main reason I wanted to send you this is cuz I’ve been having super stressful and bad days these past few days and its mainly cuz its my final year in college, final semester and final week actually 😅 and there’s just like sooo many final preparations needed to be done for my big final year project (having my big presentation today! soooo nervous) and its just been too much and too overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother anyone with my anxiousness so I’ve been keeping it all to myself and having slight panic attacks and just started having random breakdowns as I complete my assignments. Reading your series, whether its new chapters or just rereading older ones have given me comfort, like I really felt alone but its like Heethan, Heelel and the Heebros have become my comfort characters. It’s just been so overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother my family with it, I only have one other friend that I trust with my whole life but rarely see her, we’re all busy and I just felt like I’m falling behind in everything. Even though the Hee-leads might be like crazy obsessed with the reader, its like I really needed them in my life just to have someone to drop everything just to hold and comfort me anytime life becomes too much for me. I’m actually crying while writing this to you hahaha… it just feels like everyone around me is moving so fast and I’m stuck at the back picking myself up just because I feel so overwhelmed and anxious easily. Turning 20 this year is another thing that has me feeling afraid of adulthood, my mum is pressuring me into getting a job immediately once I graduate but I just feel like I’m not ready, or I’m just not ready to give up my teenage freedom and socialise professionally. Being such an introvert and shy and always thinking I’m just dumb and cant do work without help has been holding me back from wanting to grow and enjoy this new chapter in life.

So sorry for this long ass rant but i just really needed to let you know how much your stories, your Hee-leads have been keeping me going. Excited for the next chapters of your series! Hope you’re having a great day❣️

Omg so....I LOVE THIS.....this is so heartwarming and thank you for sharing it with me. Also, thank you for discovering my blog so you can write this to me, bc as you may have figured, receiving asks are just....its so nice. its a nice and wonderful surprise to hear from readers interesting in my work, wanting to know more about the characters and so forth. I am just beyond touched that heethan, heelel, and heebrows have made their way into your heart and to provide you comfort. in fact, reading your message had reminded me of a piece that i had started to draft (it was originally supposed to be a part of one of the HHP chapters but i never went through with it) but i still had it in my folders so after i finished reading your message, I decided to go back and actually finish it and format it specifically for you as y/n. I hope you like it. <3

Heeseung's Message.....

MDNI18+ content below the line.

Warnings: mentions of losing loved ones, fears and worries about the future, smut, car smut, unprotected smut, some....just some sadness....its a very heartwarming and touching piece.

"What's wrong baby?"

Noting how silent you were in the car, right after he picked you up, Heeseung rubbed your thigh, gently shifting your skirt upwards as he softly slid his hand up and down, enveloping you with warmth and comfort. "Something on your mind pretty baby?"

Placing your hand on his, you grabbed hold semi-tightly, keeping your gaze out at the window. You were hesitant at first, noting that Heeseung had a busy schedule of his own, was on his way of finishing his last year in college, aiding his professors, and of course, there was you....picking you up from classes, dropping you off every morning, taking you wherever you needed to go. You appreciated it but the man had completely devoted his time to everything else, you felt it selfish to bring any matters up to him....feeling that whatever time he did have left within the evening, he should at least have it for himself.

"It's nothing." You sighed out.

Glancing over to you, he furrowed his brows and quickly shifted the wheel, stirring the car over to a nearby parking lot on one of the campus buildings.

"What are you....?" raising up in your seat, you looked around before turning your gaze over to Heeseung, who steered the wheel with one hand and in a smooth motion, parked the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt, his gaze meets with yours before he reaches up and places his hand behind your head, softly grabbing onto your hair as he leans in and rests his forehead against yours.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I wanna know. Tell me, y/n."

His eyes were wide and his expression was fierce with rage, however, before he further ventured off into a spiraling path of unhinged presumptions, you reached up and latched your fingers onto his collar, placing a dainty kiss on his lips. "Its not that....I promise nothing like that happened."

Raising his brows and tilting his head, he releases the gentle grip he had on your hair, and replaced it with a soft, petting motion. "Then why are you being so quiet? You seem upset, what is it?"

Looking down at the console for just a second, you raise your sights once more to meet his and began talking.

".....Are you ever scared about the future, Heeseung?"

His face was taken slightly aback as he raised both brows and looked at you with an intent look.

"Is that what this is about? Are you feeling overwhelmed about moving?"

Shaking your head, you looked down once more as you shyly clarified. "Nooo.....its not just that....its more..."

"Like what baby?"

"Like....after the moving.....finishing college, being in an unfamiliar country, not knowing anybody, making new friends, meeting your family, being apart from mine, learning a new language, finding a job after college, and what if I have to do more college? Or ...." pausing, you caught yourself drifting in verbal thought.

"Or....?" He draws out as he bids you to finish your statement.

"Or........what if....what if something happens and we........you know.....what if we just...."

Squinting his eyes slightly, his expression looked a little irked as he rolled his tongue in his mouth. "That's never going to happen y/n. You know that."

"Yeah but....."

"But what?" Slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes for a second, tilted his chin down, and lifted his lids to expose a rather stern and rather angry look. Yet the moment he saw that your eyes began to glisten, shining like diamonds as the tears started to build up, you looked down once more, unable to look him square in the eye as you felt the first tear break free and drip down on the leather padding of the console.

Watching as you faintly sobbed, he nearly felt his heart break into two. He gasped out a faint breath as he reached over with his other hand and cupped your face, no longer expressing a look of annoyance.

"Hey......why? What's making you think that way? Am I not showing you enough love? You know whatever it is you want, all you have to do is tell me and I'll make it happen."

"Its not that i just........there's just some things we can't predict about the future Heeseung......what if some day......what if you stop loving me......or worse.....what if something happens and I no longer have you? What if....just.......you never know.....is it wrong for me to hope for the best, but expect the worse? Because...you know that life can be so unfair some times....and I....I....I'm scared because....I dont even know....what I'm scared of sometimes. I wake up every single morning not even knowing how to live life because there's so many things that I think about....so many things that are thrown at me all at once and I just.....I feel like sometimes......I might fail......I feel like sometimes.....I will let you down.......I feel like its not the world, its me.........its me that's broken, not you or anyone else."

You gasped out tears and soft cries as you spoke straight from the heart. For the first time, Heeseung had sincerely considered if going to Korea was the best option, at least just for a second before he reminded himself of the future that he had waiting for him.....a future that would allow him to continue to keep you....safe....and with him.

Shifting his sights around on the floor bed of the car, his thumbs stroke your cheeks, wiping away the continuous flow of tears that were now coming down harder than before. Gulping down a hard swallow, he turns back to face you.

"Baby.........look at me....please look at me."

Looking up into his gaze, your eyes red, swollen, with eyelashes drenched and your face stained with wet trails of all your fears leaving their mark. With a soft smile, he calmly speaks.

"You're right.....that is tough. There's a lot that we can't control in the future....its precarious, and we're literally just pawns on the board of this silly game called life, where God and the universe are taking turns making each move. It can be cruel, unfair, and tormenting. Its something that we can either overcome with great strife and hard work."

"But what happens if we work so hard and it.....it just doesnt work out? What if everything just falls apart Heeseung?"

"We wont know unless it happens y/n......the thing about the future, as much as we want it here in the present, so we can see and view what it has in store for us, thats....just not the way it works. That's not the way we work....we're not designed to know those things. We didn't become strong because we cheated, we became strong and survived because we, as humans, learned....the hard way."

Looking into his eyes, your vision started to become blurry all over as the next set of tears built up. Smiling as he continued to wipe your tears away, he continues.

"Y/n....for thousands of years, people have fallen, lost, and suffered at the creativity of the universe. Yet we never gave up......people had an urge to survive. Which is why at times, even when the entire world was on fire, times where a soldier never comes home, a woman loses her child, or when a doctor just doesnt have a cure.....we keep moving....we get back up and learn how to walk again. I can't sit here and tell you that I know that everything is going to be great.....I dont know. But what I do know.....is this...."

Shifting his hands down to your waist, he lifts you with his core strength as his abdominal muscles flexed under his shirt. Bringing you over onto his lap, he sat you down in a princess style as he cradled you against his chest.

"No matter what happens....I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there and I'm going to help you, just like you're going to help me. I'll never let anything happen to you....and.....you never have to worry about me not loving you .....noooooooo pretty baby......that's never going to happen, not loving you would be the worst offense against Heaven and humanity. As far as if anything were to happen to me...."

The moment Heeseung touched on that part of the subject, you sobbed uncontrollably against his neck.

"Heeeeeey, come on now. Nothing's even happen, why are you acting like that's a for sure thing?" he chuckles out as he kisses your forehead. "Listen..." Taking your hand in his, he continues.

"I'm not going anywhere......I'm not. I know this because I know what is living for me......you. I will never abandon you. Even if something did happen, you know i'm always going to be with you. You know how?"

Shaking your head, he brushes your hair away from your face.

"Moments like this baby. Every time we talk, touch, feel each other, love, eat, sleep, kiss, and when I fuck your brains out...." gripping onto your waist tightly, he presses his forehead against your own once more. "All the things we do, they never leave. So.......if there is ever a time where I am not physically here......you're always going to remember how i feel..." gliding his hand from your waist, he reaches down and gently trails it upwards under your skirt, his fingers reaching into your panties.

"You're going to remember my touch..." kissing your neck, he latches his mouth onto your soft spot under your ear, and rings the tip of his tongue around in slow circular motions.

"You're going to remember my scent...." with his free hand, he reaches behind your head and gently pushes your face inward, causing your nose to become burrowed in his thatch of dark long, shaggy hair, inhaling the scent of his cool-mint cologne and his shampoo.

"You'll also remember what I taste like...." placing a soft peck on the spot he was sucking on, he tilts his head up slightly and brings your head down to kiss him.

"And best of all......pretty baby.......you're going to remember what it feels like when I fuck you......when I love you." Shifting your body to face forward, your back completely spooned by his chest and groin as you both remained seated in the drivers side, he spreads your legs open by pushing our inner thighs apart. You were so caught up with the sensual four play, you hadn't realized that he tore off your panties. Unbuttoning your blouse, exposing your breasts, he shifts you up as he levels his length to align with your slit, before proceeding to enter inside you. Feeling full of his flesh, you moaned out as the overwhelming sense of pleasure hits you........taking you away from the abysmal depths of your fears and worries.

Steadying you in a reverse cowgirl position, filing you, his cock melts inside you as he begins thrusting slow and steady, picking up the pace as your walls become more moist.

"You feel me pretty baby?"

"Y-yes!"

"Yeah? You gonna remember me forever?"

"Y-yes...yes! He-Heeseung!"

"You gonna remember what this feels like?"

"Yes!"

"What does it feel like baby? Tell me."

"F-f......fe-feels......ssss......goood......soo....soo.goood....ugh!"

"Harder or faster baby?"

"ugh! both! please both!"

Thrusting repeatedly, your body falls limp as he holds you upright, with one arm wrapped around your waist, and his other hand shifting a grip between your neck and your exposed breast, he muffles your moans and screams with his mouth as he swallows every single bit of your precious tones.

"Gonna cum for me?"

"Y-ye.....yes!...yes.......ugh! He-Heeseung!"

"Yeah? You gonna cum because you're a good girl?"

"Mmm!mmmmmm....mmmhmmm!....ugh!"

"You my good girl?"

"Y....yes!!"

"Yeah you are.......now fucking cum on me. Let me feel it."

Adding more depth to each thrust, you gasped out your screams of pleasure as he rams his cock deep inside, separating new found walls and extracting the moisture out of your body. Reaching orgasm and releasing all over his member, your thighs shake relentlessly.

"Good girl.....my turn."

Cupping your lower tummy, he pushes in and feels his thick length as it slides in and out, he found it amusing how your sensitive body could take him like this, especially feeling it inside you as he was doing right now. Jacking his member deep inside you at a rapid and hard momentum, he finally reaches his moment and with one last punctured thrust, he bucks his hips upward as he shoves you down, mashing your bodies together as he releases inside and fills your body up.

Pulling your head back as he latches his mouth on your neck yet again, suckling as your body bounces rigorously from the tenacity of his performance.

Feeling the pleasure of his tainted love, you somehow were to understand his message clearly, all due to Heeseung extracting you from your fears......which he had done before, back when Samuel sent you his email......back when you and Heeseung came together for the first time.....the start of your guys story. Just as he did back then, he helped you to understand, that the reality of what life gives, is never necessarily the ending to your story. The more he kept pumping into you, the more you were reminded of that clarity. Yea sure, you still felt scared, but knowing that if at first you dont succeed....reach happiness.....or if things just dont work out, you can and should always, try-try again. A lesson you were always reminded of, all thanks to Heethan.

Authors note: Lol, sooooooo...yeah this original draft did have some smut....and i was going to take it out but it was too crucial for me to do so. I hope you dont mind that. But, this chapter was originally drafted, back a few months ago. I had this thought in my head, since I have only taken a few college courses, and am about to start back up on it, I was feeling so dreadful and felt too nervous about doing well. I want to succeed in reaching my educational goals....but what also kind of bugged me was....will i still find time to write? I love writing, truly do. Mainly because it brings other people joy and brings out their most inner feelings. I had so much on my mind that time that i had began drafting this, but as i was writing it, i left it unfinished bc honestly, when i drafted heethan's message.....literally its like his voice was telling me what to write....i felt better. like it was a nice little reminder....realistic...very rational....and honest...but still positive and holds truth. there's a lot of things we can't control, but we should never give up. Its okay to be scared and to worry, that's natural, and that is exactly why people such as myself are here, writing these chapters and stories for you all because i know that there is such a thing called 'life' and sometimes....we just need a break from it to refresh ourselves. I know you have alot on your plate, but dont worry because everything will be more than fine. We have to pace ourselves, work hard, but also rest, and play from time to time. Eat and drink well, and finish strong. finish college, work with your mother and teach her to work with you, if you dont get the job you really want, no big deal. no matter what job you get, if its one you dont want, nothing lasts forever. just think that whatever you do now, it is only making you more marketable for the dream goal you have. I hope you continue strong because while you do have alot on your plate, you've been slaying....you've been killing it! and that's a major accomplishment in itself, last of year of college? woohoo! finish strong!

So now i should apologize for responding with the longest post ever lol. but i really hope this makes you feel better. Reading your message had reminded me of this piece and i am so glad you sent it to me because....looking at it now...and actually finishing it......this was something that was meant to be published and shared. bc it holds an important message for all of us. <3

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[beomgewz]

LOVE ME BACK !

two , awkwarddd

a/n: smau + written (858 words)

“YEONJUN, i dont want to go there anymore,” you quietly mumbled to the older boy. after taking a glance at the inside of Star City Cafe, you were immediately intimidated.

“why not? you wanted to come here just 10 minutes ago,” he questioned you, comfortingly rubbing your arm. he noticed you were nervous — uncharacteristically so.

“its just…” its just maybe your ex best friend happened to be working there. “… i dont know. its a lot more crowded than what im used to.” you grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the cafe, out of sight for anyone in the cafe to see you two.

you noticed yeonjun frowning at you. “you never worried about that before. is everything okay?”

he was so sweet to you.

you slowly nodded. “i think im just tired.”

he agreed, nodding along. “me too — you got an hour and a half of sleep. lets get coffee and try to get through the day, okay?” he smiled at you, his reaching to hold yours.

this was where you understood why people thought you two were dating. you two were very touchy with each other — but it was always with platonic intent! you both saw each other as siblings.

he held your hand as he walked to the cafe, rubbing his thumb over your hand. you looked down at the ground, embarrassed and afraid to face your ex best friend again.

as the two of you walked through the door, a bell chimed, indicating someone had walked in.

immediately, matthew mustered up a fake smile and smiled at the customers that walked in: a tall man with a woman walking behind him, who he wasnt sure what she looked like because she was hiding behind him.

“hi, how can i help you today?”

that agitating, grating, voice.

yeonjun politely smiled at him, “hi, can i have a medium americano, please?” matthew typed it in, nodding. “of course, anything else?”

yeonjun nodded and took a few steps away from you so that you could order. you werent ready to face matthew yet— not so soon. your gaze was stuck on the floor, your heart pounding violently in your chest.

“i’ll pay for you, yn— if thats what you were worried about,” yeonjun told you, his voice gentle. how could you stay mad at him for dropping your name in front of matthew?

speaking of, matthews ears perked at the sound of your name. there were many people with that name, surely that yn wasnt the yn he knew.

he was dead wrong.

you looked up at him, making awkward eye contact. your face distorted into one of disgust, but you quickly stopped yourself from doing anything rude. “an espresso.”

feeling a jab at your arm, you glare at the attacker, yeonjun. “your manners, yn.”

you could hear matthew snickering. that bitch.

“no.”

“be nice to him.”

“no.”

“or i wont pay.”

“can i have an espresso, please, matthew?” you smiled at him, afraid if you didnt smile, youd make another face of disgust at him.

he mentally scoffed at how two faced you were, but for the sake of his job, he shot a fake smile at you back. “of course. would that be all?”

you roll your eyes, mumbling, “obviously.”

“what was that?”

“i said that is all.” you say, emphasizing each word.

yeonjun held your hand and pushed you behind him, embarrassed by your sudden rude behavior. he smiled apologetically at matthew, hoping to diffuse the tension. “im sorry about her— shes normally never like this. she pulled an all nigher so…” he put his card in the card slot, paying for both of your drinks.

matthew only smiled back. “its okay man, i get customers like this all the time.”

“what a bitch.”

“Yn.”

“im sorry, jun.”

matthew kept his smile, although his jaws were starting to hurt from faking it. “she seems to like you a lot.”

“whyre you talking about me as if im a dog, you bitch.”

“we’ll go wait now, thank you — uh — matthew!” yeonjun grabbed your hand and forcefully dragged you away from the cash register, his patience slowly running thin.

he dragged you to an empty table and sat you down on a chair. “yn,” he says, his voice wavering, “do you two have a history that i dont know about, or what? because why were you such an ass to him?”

you fiddled with your fingers, unable to look at him. “its complicated.” he let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing his eyes to relieve his frustration. “still, you shouldnt bitch him out like that.”

you bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to bitch him out. “stop acting like you know what happened, jun. its frustrating.” you quietly mumble, looking at him.

his eyes softened at you. he knew he couldnt stay mad at you forever. “im sorry for lashing out on you like that,” he started, gently holding your hands, “i didnt know about your past together– and i still dont.” he delicately held your hands, and you began to smile at that fact. 

“its okay, jun. i forgive you.”

“YEONJUN, i dont want to go there anymore,” you quietly mumbled to the older boy. after taking a glance at the inside of Star City Cafe, you were immediately intimidated.

“why not? you wanted to come here just 10 minutes ago,” he questioned you, comfortingly rubbing your arm. he noticed you were nervous — uncharacteristically so.

“its just…” its just maybe your ex best friend happened to be working there. “… i dont know. its a lot more crowded than what im used to.” you grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the cafe, out of sight for anyone in the cafe to see you two.

you noticed yeonjun frowning at you. “you never worried about that before. is everything okay?”

he was so sweet to you.

you slowly nodded. “i think im just tired.”

he agreed, nodding along. “me too — you got an hour and a half of sleep. lets get coffee and try to get through the day, okay?” he smiled at you, his reaching to hold yours.

this was where you understood why people thought you two were dating. you two were very touchy with each other — but it was always with platonic intent! you both saw each other as siblings.

he held your hand as he walked to the cafe, rubbing his thumb over your hand. you looked down at the ground, embarrassed and afraid to face your ex best friend again.

as the two of you walked through the door, a bell chimed, indicating someone had walked in.

immediately, matthew mustered up a fake smile and smiled at the customers that walked in: a tall man with a woman walking behind him, who he wasnt sure what she looked like because she was hiding behind him.

“hi, how can i help you today?”

that agitating, grating, voice.

yeonjun politely smiled at him, “hi, can i have a medium americano, please?” matthew typed it in, nodding. “of course, anything else?”

yeonjun nodded and took a few steps away from you so that you could order. you werent ready to face matthew yet— not so soon. your gaze was stuck on the floor, your heart pounding violently in your chest.

“i’ll pay for you, yn— if thats what you were worried about,” yeonjun told you, his voice gentle. how could you stay mad at him for dropping your name in front of matthew?

speaking of, matthews ears perked at the sound of your name. there were many people with that name, surely that yn wasnt the yn he knew.

he was dead wrong.

you looked up at him, making awkward eye contact. your face distorted into one of disgust, but you quickly stopped yourself from doing anything rude. “an espresso.”

feeling a jab at your arm, you glare at the attacker, yeonjun. “your manners, yn.”

you could hear matthew snickering. that bitch.

“no.”

“be nice to him.”

“no.”

“or i wont pay.”

“can i have an espresso, please, matthew?” you smiled at him, afraid if you didnt smile, youd make another face of disgust at him.

he mentally scoffed at how two faced you were, but for the sake of his job, he shot a fake smile at you back. “of course. would that be all?”

you roll your eyes, mumbling, “obviously.”

“what was that?”

“i said that is all.” you say, emphasizing each word.

yeonjun held your hand and pushed you behind him, embarrassed by your sudden rude behavior. he smiled apologetically at matthew, hoping to diffuse the tension. “im sorry about her— shes normally never like this. she pulled an all nigher so…” he put his card in the card slot, paying for both of your drinks.

matthew only smiled back. “its okay man, i get customers like this all the time.”

“what a bitch.”

“Yn.”

“im sorry, jun.”

matthew kept his smile, although his jaws were starting to hurt from faking it. “she seems to like you a lot.”

“whyre you talking about me as if im a dog, you bitch.”

“we’ll go wait now, thank you — uh — matthew!” yeonjun grabbed your hand and forcefully dragged you away from the cash register, his patience slowly running thin.

he dragged you to an empty table and sat you down on a chair. “yn,” he says, his voice wavering, “do you two have a history that i dont know about, or what? because why were you such an ass to him?”

you fiddled with your fingers, unable to look at him. “its complicated.” he let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing his eyes to relieve his frustration. “still, you shouldnt bitch him out like that.”

you bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to bitch him out. “stop acting like you know what happened, jun. its frustrating.” you quietly mumble, looking at him.

his eyes softened at you. he knew he couldnt stay mad at you forever. “im sorry for lashing out on you like that,” he started, gently holding your hands, “i didnt know about your past together– and i still dont.” he delicately held your hands, and you began to smile at that fact. 

“its okay, jun. i forgive you.”

previous | masterlist | next

[h5eavenly]

omg i literally sent you an ask like two hours ago thinking "well this can't get any worse now we're gonna be so up from here on" AND IT SOMEHOW GOT WORSE?????? AGAIN I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START WOAH yeji having it out for y/n over something that happened years ago and that hyune obviously got over is just soooo.. like she has so many reasons to give y/n a piece of her mind for and she chooses /this/ hill to die on?? AND not addressing her directly???? babyyyy this ain't it!! i think this is also a way of evidencing how distanced yeji and hyune have grown more than the distaste that she has towards y/n, like she doesn't know about hyune and her's connection and where they stand as much as the others do bc yeosang drove her away from them all which is so sad :-( sometimes she frustrates me a bit but i have a lot of sympathy towards yeji especially in this situation bc i know how hurtful it is to feel ostracised from your close friendships due to a toxic relationship and trying to hold on to the things you knew about them while not realising that they've changed bc you haven't been there enough to witness those changes :-( idk if this was your intention when you wrote it but it's really accurate. i know there's a lot of bad blood between yeji and y/n, now more than ever with the yeosang situation 💀 but i really do wish they can have a heart to heart sometime bc both of them have been so wronged and hurt by evil men and idk if a friendship between them is possible tbh but i feel like they can find a support system in each other even if they aren't friends. i just want my girls to be happy and i know there's a long way to go but they both deserve healing smsm :-(

now WDYM MFS RAIDED HYUNE'S HOUSE OH MY GOD????? this is y/n's fuckass father FOR SURE his ass wants to play gangster so bad HE AIN'T SHIT!!!!!!! i'm so flabbergasted i swear i never saw this coming??? i never thought that bum would ever go to this length to try to impose control on his daughter like that man's crazyyyyy. at first i thought the raid was bc of yeosang but you know that man ain't got no friends and is a coward he could never pull up like this 😭 so that's why i think it's y/n's father who's behind this bc he wants to have his godfather moment for some reason 💀 yk how weird men go crazy once they realise they can't control the women they feel entitled to so i think y/n moving out made him feel some kind of way. i can't wait for that asshole's downfall i swear i'm praying on it im going to church over it im manifesting it 🙏🏻 unless hyune is onto something that we're not aware of??? which idk im not sure about that honestly but i didn't see like half the things that ended up happening coming either so you knowww im seated, hyune and hannie living with y/n will be so cute too!! we love to see domestic hyune+y/n content we used to pray for times like this 🥹 so we might be kinda up after all maybe

thank you sm for the update so soon!! you're working overtime for this and it's sooo appreciated you deserve the world fr 🫂🩷🩷

genuinely curious what made you think "its only up from here" cus... 🫡efuhhfihw fyi anon i take my angst tag VERY seriously 🧐 some may say i'm not trust worthy but i just like being unpredictable

about the whole yeji situation it is intentional yes! im so glad you noticed its kinda hard to write such subtle things in smau without it being in your face because it's one of those things that i want ppl to notice but sometimes im like ahh idk if anyone would notice, i think for her she obviously views y/n as a rival but because she's left out (hence jinnie growing more distance ever since yeo came into her life) she tries to attack y/n with the only available card she has which is "you did smth bad to my friend" bc she doesn't know anything else and she wasn't even there when it all happened she only got snippets from the story and from jinnie's side when he was still feeling resentful towards y/n and you see the difference in this specific subject between her and lix (bc lix was there) he gets their bond sm more and it's so much easier for him to not hold it against y/n

listen y/n's dad might be a little worse than her mom idk they're competing for that title rn, ty for being so kind baby as alwayys i enjoyed reading and im sorry for talking sm i just get excited about my characters🥰🥰💞💞

[snzunii]

— SEE YOU AGAIN [14]

+ summary. in which, you and sanzu are in a very chaotic arranged marriage.

+ tags. romance, fluff, heavy (?) angst, modern au, smau, arrange marriage au, college setting, use of profanities, eventual smut, 18+

+ note. aaaaa finally?! this chapter has been sitting on my drafts for so long?? 'm sorry if this took so long aaaajdshfadusfji anyway, i hope u enjoy this chapter! likes, rb, replies and asks are always appreciated <3 ily alllll

+ status. on-going

+ masterlist.

“Honey?” as soon as your bedroom door opened, you hurriedly covered yourself with your blanket and wiped the tears off of your face. “Are you sleeping? It’s time for dinner.”

All you could do was to pretend that you’re sleeping, you don’t really have the energy to explain yourself to your mother as of this moment because there’s only one person that you wanted to cry your eyes out to, that you wanted to tell all your feelings to.

But how can you do that when that one person is the reason why you’re hurting right now?

“I can hear you sniffing.” your mother sat on the bed, “What happened, hm?”

You can’t even talk to him, you have been avoiding him for how many months now. You thought you’re doing fine, you said that you would distance yourself because he’s in love with someone else now.

What hurts the most is that you thought he felt the same for you. You were with him ever since you were kids. From the way that he looks at you, cares for you—you really thought he did.

You hated yourself for assuming things and for not telling him what you really felt.

You removed the blanket that was covering your body as you sat up from the bed, “It’s nothing.”

“Come on, now. How come your eyes are so puffy if it’s nothing, huh?” your mother wiped your tears, “Look at you, your eyes are swollen. How long have you been cooped up in here, crying?”

Hours?

Ever since you saw the picture that Sanzu posted with his girlfriend, you were crying your eyes out. It has been months, you at least expected that your feelings would subside but it didn’t.

Even if you don’t talk to him, you really love Haruchiyo from the depths of your heart and soul.

“I don’t know.” you mumbled, tears forming from your eyes once again. “I…”

You’re not supposed to break down in front of your mother but you have been keeping this to yourself for so long. If Haru’s there, then he would know something’s wrong in a heartbeat. If he’s not miles away then you immediately know what he would do, make stupid jokes until you laugh and if that doesn’t work—he’ll just hold you until everything’s alright.

Until you’re all better.

You wanted to speak to him right now and tell him to hold you until you’re okay. Until you learn how to let go of him on your own.

You want to let go of him because the more you hold on the more it cuts you deep, you didn’t know that loving Haruchiyo Akashi would hurt this much.

Your mother pulled you in, you latched onto her as if you’re a little child again who stumbled and fell. You whispered, tears falling from your eyes, “Mom… it hurts. So much.”

“I know.” she held you, as if she wanted to take your pain away. Your cries were so painful to her, you’re her child. Your sorrow is hers as well. How she hates to see you like this. You wanted to laugh at yourself, it’s just a silly childhood romance, it wasn’t supposed to hurt like this. “I know, sweetheart. Everything’s going to be alright. I promise.”

“Promise?”

“Hm. I promise.”

…

“Dad!” you yelled once you entered the living room of your house, causing your father who’s currently reading a newspaper to jump a bit, “I got a perfect score on my exams!”

“Don’t yell like that, young lady. You’ll give me a heart attack.” he shook his head, you just gave him a cheeky smile as you sprint towards him. “Perfect, huh? Let me see.”

Your father had a wide smile on while he looked at the bunch of papers that you just gave him, “Did you send this to Haruchiyo? You both like to boast to each-”

He stopped talking when he realized that you and Sanzu stopped talking two years ago. “Sorry.”

You snorted a laugh, “It’s okay, Dad. Where’s mom? I’m going to show this to her.”

“She’s in her office. I think she’s talking to Senju’s mom.” your father purposely said Senju because you know, he thinks you’re getting hurt whenever his name is mentioned.

Well, you are. But you’re not so petty that you banned your parents from mentioning his name in front of you. It has been two years ever since, do you miss him? Of course you do. Every single day, you stop yourself from picking the phone up and just straight up call him.

You can still see what he posts on his accounts and tell yourself that that’s enough, you don’t need to talk to him. At least, you can see how he is. But there are times that you really wanted to tell him about your day—so, you made the habit of texting yourself.

Pretending that it’s him that you’re talking to.

“Okay.” you answered, you were about to walk up the stairs when your father called your name, “Yeah, dad?”

“You know I’m proud of you.” you smiled and walked towards your father once again to give him a hug, he chuckled and tapped your back “Keep it up.”

“Thanks, dad. Of course, I will. I’ll study hard and be a defense lawyer like mom.” you said as you pulled away, smiling as wide as you could. You’re so determined to be like your mother, you look up to her and treat her as your role model.

But you didn’t know that dream would change the moment that you open the door to her office and hear something that you shouldn’t have.

All your dreams are deemed a delusion, a beautiful image that you created in your head that soon would be shattered,

“Mom-” you stopped the moment you heard that she’s still talking to Haruchiyo’s mother on the phone—you stood there, opening the door a bit to listen in on her conversation.

That you wish you didn’t, why did you choose to be nosy that day? You don’t know.

“I can’t handle the case since I don’t have the license to practice there.” you heard her chuckle, “Of course, it’s okay. I’m instructing her off the records so there’s no problem. You would be able to come home in no time once the case is handled.”

“Okay. So we’re cleared on the plan then? I already prepared everything in case we stumble on that option, if she didn’t tell her daughter to break up with Haruchiyo then we would sue her for defamation…”

It’s like your senses were barred the moment you heard that one sentence. You did remember your mom telling you that everything’s going to be fine.

Is this her way?

She would really use her power to step on someone innocent? You wanted more than anything to be with Haruchiyo but not like this.

The all high and magnificent image of your mother that you built these years were easily shattered into pieces. You feel disgusted, ashamed even. Was this woman really your mother?

Is this really who she is?

You opened the door and mustered all your strength, “Mom.”

“Oh? You’re home, darling.” she smiled at you, “What-”

“You would sue someone innocent? Defamation? On what grounds? Naomi’s mother didn’t do anything wrong-”

Your tears were falling from your eyes, yet, your mother still smiled at you. “You heard everything?”

“Mom!” you exclaimed, “I told you before that I wanted to be with Haru, but not like this!”

It pains you so much that your mother would resort to this kind of thing. It was like you blinked for a second and a completely different person was in front of you. She walked towards you and tried to wipe your tears but you avoided her touch.

It gave her some kind of sting in her chest the moment that she saw the look in your eyes. But she did what she had to, you’re her daughter.

Her one and only. She would go lengths just to make sure you have everything.

That you’re well and not hurting. It didn’t matter how she looked in your eyes, what matters the most is you.

“You listen to me.” she said firmly, “You heard nothing. If you want Haruchiyo then he’s yours. He’s yours even before his little girlfriend came so just let me handle this and everything would be alright.”

...

...

“What brings you here?”

You gave him a faint chuckle as you leaned on the railings, looking down at the passing cars on the streets. “I’m thinking about my life decisions.”

Kakucho chuckled as he stood beside you, “Again? I thought everything’s going well? You already confessed to each other, right?”

“Hm.” you hummed, he frowned when you abruptly turned to him, “What if I tell you something- hm. Nah, I don’t want to but I really need to tell someone or else I would go insane but- never mind. Oh, well-”

“For fuck’s sake just tell me.” Kakucho cuts you off causing you to laugh, “Is it that serious? Will I be jailed if you told me that?”

You laughed at him as you sat on the bench at the rooftop. It has been a week ever since your anniversary dinner party at Sanzu’s house and since then, you’re still bothered by your mother.

That memory of you overhearing things to be particular. You were burdened with that for so long, keeping it to yourself for God knows how long. Even Hina doesn't know about that.

“Maybe? You still want to hear it?” you jokingly said. Kakucho sat beside you, waiting for you to spill whatever is on your mind.

How you wanted to tell your friends but you don’t want them to look at you differently, it’s as if you’re afraid that they’ll see you how you saw your mother that day.

“I’ve been keeping this for so long, Kaku.” you stopped for a bit to glance at him, “You’re my friend, I don’t think I could also tell you because I don’t want you to look at me like I’m a different person. I know—no matter what I tell to defend myself, nothing could ever justify what decision I made that day.”

“Try me.”

You took a deep breath, fidgeting as you debated whether to tell Kakucho or not. You know Kakucho’s not going to say anything to anyone—he’s not the type—and you have been thinking that it must be nice to let this out.

You don’t have to keep it all to yourself, you can breathe—even just a little.

“Okay, fine.” you started, you looked around the uni’s rooftop first to see if someone’s there and when you confirmed that you’re the only people in there, you started to tell him everything. Kakucho just listened to you, you can’t really tell what’s he thinking because he’s just quietly paying attention to you.

“So?” you raised your eyebrow, “Should I tell him?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Look…” he started, “You told yourself that partly the reason is you didn’t want to hurt him too that’s why you didn’t tell him. What’s the point of telling him when everything’s alright? Why would you want to ruin everything you have right now?”

“I…” you paused, “I don’t want to ruin everything. I just thought that’s the right thing-”

“It is the right thing.” he said, “But there’s some things that needn't be said. Your mom didn’t sue his ex-girlfriend’s mom, right? There’s no serious harm done, except for Naomi’s feelings. Naomi, was it?”

You didn’t expect for Kakucho to tell you to keep your mouth shut. You expect him to be all righteous about it, he could easily advise you to tell your husband about it considering that he has feelings for you but he didn’t.

Maybe, he didn’t want you to be hurt. He knows how that situation could affect you. Or maybe he could understand, because if he’s in your place—if there’s even a single opportunity to be with the one he loves—he would grab that opportunity to be happy.

“You really surprise me sometimes, I expect you to tell me that I should tell Haru about it.”

He snorted a laugh as pats your head, “It’s a part of life. Someone’s bound to be hurt when you love somebody.”

You were about to speak when your phone vibrated, receiving a text from you know who else.

“Speaking of, he’s looking for me.” you smiled, “I should head down now, Kaku. Thank you for listening to my problems, again. You could talk to me about yours too, you know?”

“It’s no problem. I’m always here.”

+ see you again taglist. @hanmascult @ryouhoe @fl4mepillar @meena-in-a-nutshell @sanzudopeamine @hxked @xxrwzy @sophiesuna @douraken @mapachemapato @kawaii-desv @erishaitto @smolaf-filipino @hanmasgf @mitsuika @lustiel-winchester @cryszus @babydiamondblog @sseorin @k0ut4r0u

+ tokyo revengers taglist. @cosmiclvsh @tojisqueen @joranhaitani @r-xochitl @bekky06 @toshiswifey @Michelle_simps @ninetyeightrins @t4keomi @litle-crow @n-nara @hollowpurpl @iiclal @miyuuuuuposts @haitanilove @aclairysm @awkcasted @yukie35 @Prettylily @chronic-claire-universe @inupiko @chosoisbaby @marixxi @spaceemeeat @shizukuusagii @amaejiki @parca-de-destinos @kuraries @missysimpy @a-astxr @mui_xd @fr00g1es @gwynsapphire @kookie-my-little-sunshine @dazaisjester @kqtsukisgf @angtsumu @cakenchill @risano @madarasgf

[bukojuiice]

fix you.

ೃ pairing: (village prince! katsuki bakugo x princess mononoke! reader)

ೃ  tags: princess mononoke au! studio ghibli au!

ೃ warnings:  mild use of weapons and strong language

ೃ part 1/2  of the princess mononoke! au

ೃ word count 4.119 words

ೃ 2/??? of @bukojuiice’s studio ghibli au

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ  Loosely based off of Princess Mononoke! Not necessarily a word for word retelling/alternate universe. You can read on without any prior knowledge of this beautiful Studio Ghibli film. Hope you enjoy!

ೃ if you want to be part of this studio ghibli au taglist, send me an ask! or if you want to be a part of my mha taglist in general, send me an ask indicating whichever you want to be a part of!

ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! (feel free to add tags too because i love reading them and my heart swells with happiness when people love my work!)

ೃ shoto todoroki’s fic (howl’s moving castle au) for those of you who want to read the first in this series!

ೃ taglist: @chibishae34​ @sparkykatsuki​ @ramunegoddess​

 ೃ Katsuki Bakugo is the righteous yet arrogant village prince of the east. The entire village relies on him for protection and for guidance, further inflating his ego. however, after a cursed boar attacks him and the curse is passed on to him as a poisonous mark on his arm, slowly consuming him until he becomes a demon himself. he is exiled without hesitance from his village and is to go on a journey to look for a cure, a journey he might never come back from. With the help of two of his most trusted allies, he embarks on a journey to look for the gods of the forest in where he meets a girl (just as striking as him) who brings him back down to earth, saves him and make him experience a true life worth living.

“Damn this life.” Katsuki curses under his breath, rolling up his sleeves, and collecting clear water from the riverbend and transferring it into his jar.

“Hey! This isn’t that bad!” Eijiro Kirishima, son of the second in command to Katsuki’s mother, his most trusted ally and #2 most annoying fucker on this planet, cheekily grins, patting the blonde on the back. “We’ve gone through worse things in the past. And yet here we are! We’re still alive! Aren’t we?”

“Yea! We’ll find the forest gods soon! Offer food for them and hopefully they give us a cure! This is going to be easy!” Denki Kaminari, another one of his most trusted allies, grandson of one of the wise elders, and #1 most annoying fucker on this planet, reassures his friend whilst aimlessly fixing the saddle on his elk.

Why did life have to be like this?

Who did Katsuki Bakugo infuriate from high above to have this tremendous bad luck and fate be put upon him? All he wanted was to live a noble life as a village prince, have his mother pass down her position of power onto him, become the new village chief, live a life of prosperity, help his people, and then pass away with no regrets. But life just had to do this to him no?

After an unexpected attack of a raging cursed boar consumed by black slithering enigmas in the hills of Mustafu village, the handsome village prince was the only one able of combat who was around the vicinity at the time. He had no choice but to hurl himself in front of the boar, shooting one of his famed  arrows, sharper than most and one of the best in his arsenal.  The boar had met its demise by his hands. However, not without getting revenge at Katsuki, by passing its curse onto him. The black ooze slithering onto his arm before the animal had fully perished.

That was the worst day of his life.

As the son of the village chief and as one of the most well-known individuals in his tribe, how was he supposed to react?

Katsuki had always been number one. Never once slipping to loss or to failure. Never getting injured. Never letting his guard down. Never disappointing his parents. Never losing his pride nor his mighty personality.

He was the paragon of success.

But, sometimes, the best people feel lost and useless too.

The fact that his mother had easily let go of him, have the wise villager elders speak ill of him and banish him, having to leave everything he had loved and worked hard for, lose his position as a prince, and have the people of his village look at him in abhorrence and disgust, had ended up becoming the most painful experiences he ever had to go through in his entire life.

Leaving quietly at the dead of the night with no proper goodbyes but a brief hug, gift of a good luck charm from his mother, and the willing accompaniment of his two most trusted friends (although he would not like to admit the appreciation he has for them, he was very grateful) on this fruitless journey… He could never have it any other way.

What kind of life was he even going to lead from here on forth?

He didn’t want to stop believing. He didn’t want to lose hope. This wasn’t like him. Katsuki Bakugo knew who he was. He knows how headstrong he is, how prideful, persevering, and how much of a smart-ass he is. He had no time to sulk and contemplate about his demise and what fate had in store for him.

Although, it would be nice if he could release all these pent-up emotions and frustrations at least once. Just once.

He just has no idea how to and who to open up to.

Putting his vulnerable emotions aside, he is going to defy his destiny and take down whatever may come his way.

Making sure no one was going to stop him from doing so.

“Let’s go.” Katsuki jerks his head, gesturing his party members to start walking to the other side of the forest.

“Wait… haven’t we gone there already?” Kaminari protests, not raising his voice nor overreacting because even he knew that Katsuki was on a bad mood as per usual. (With this being the second afternoon of their journey and because they have to leave their animal companions by the river due to how unstable the geographical and terrestrial properties of the forest were.)

Katsuki shoots him a glare, the other blonde clearing the lump in his throat in response. “Okay okay! Let’s go then!”

They quietly navigate through the forest, hearing nothing but the sound of their own feet stepping on the grass, crickets chirping, fireflies flying about, the towering trees swaying with the wind, and the calming yet lonely atmosphere of the woodlands to accompany them.

“Kirishima.” Bakugo calls out coldly. “Are you sure that this is the same forest depicted in the legends?”

“Positive.” Kirishima replies, nodding aimlessly whilst turning his head and taking in their surroundings. “If we spot some Kodama, that means we’re near the tree that stands alone.”

“Tree that stands alone?” Denki asks, tilting his head and sparking a discussion. “Also, what even is a Kodama?”

“You’re the grandson of a village elder yet you’re asking me?” Eijiro narrows his eyes at his other blonde friend. “Kodama are the little white spirits who live in trees. They don’t necessarily guide travelers but instead watch them. They only intervene if ever anything bad happens. If we see them appear then that means we’re close to the spiritual core of the forest. The tree that gives life.”

Yakushima Forest. Located in the southern region, is the settlement of the forest gods and the place where the oldest trees of Japan and those known to man stand strongly. The power and the spiritual energy stored in this wonderous and enchanting forest could only be seen and could only be discovered by heroes and travelers with a pure of heart as the forest was welcoming only to visitors with pure and selfless intentions. However, to those who wish to exploit it and to ruin its beauty will be punished heavily by the gods in the most gruesome ways possible.

Katsuki breathes out a hefty sigh, leading his two other friends who were happily following him from behind. There was this bizarre feeling of anxiety welling up inside him. He was not himself and he couldn’t tell why. All he could do was pretend to remain calm and collected…

He will find that cure.

He will be able to save himself and he will be able to come back to his village, victorious and free of the curse.

Bakugo stops in his tracks when they encounter another streaming river. His two companions almost bump into him with how abrupt he halted in his steps.

There was something amiss in the river.

It wasn’t a bad spirit nor was it some bad energy, but Katsuki could feel something.

There was someone else there.

And he felt that they weren’t exactly the friendly type who would help them.

“Bakugo-sama, why did we stop-“ Kaminari is hushed by his blonde friend before he could even have the chance to utter another word. Kirishima quickly picked up what Katsuki is trying to motion to them and proceeds to quietly scout around the area. “There’s a girl? Wolves too.” He whispers from behind a bush not far from where his friends were standing.

“Let’s go back to the nearby village. Stay at the inn there.” Bakugo whispers sternly, as if not wanting to hear any other remarks from his friends.­

“Wait! Bakugo, I know we’re near the tree. Why stop now!?” Kirishima fussed. He knew something was up. “We’re pretty close. We can just set up a fire here then-“

“I said let’s head back. Damn it.” Katsuki repeated his words. This time, in a sort of a growl. “If you don’t want to go back, feel free to die here if you want.” He starts treading back to the path where they came from. Denki looks at his red-headed friend worriedly, even he, of all people, had finally noticed that there was something wrong with their most beloved village prince. Kirishima nods at him cautiously, the two of them walking together behind Bakugo.

They quickly got back to the small village near the forest with no interruption, as the chit-chatter and the energy radiating between both Kirishima and Kaminari were low as Katsuki was in a even terrible mood, refusing to talk to any of them nor humoring their antics and small jokes.

They continue to spend the rest of their day in silence. With, Katsuki, immediately heading back to his quarters to rest whilst his two other companions remained outside to help some village folk and prepare dinner.

The village chieftain of the quaint settlement had a good relationship with Katsuki’s mother. They were good trade partners and the village chief wanted to do everything in their power to help Katsuki be free of the curse by the means of giving him a private inn to stay in and come back to whenever he and his friends would like to. It wasn’t much, but Katsuki needed all the help he could get on this otherwise hopeless quest. Even if he refused the said offers at first.

After another awfully quiet bonding time with Bakugo at dinner, the convivial duo had to break the silence. Denki had thought of the most wonderful idea of bringing up the topic of the girl who was accompanied by wolves in the forest. Because, hey, it’s a girl in the forest! What could possibly be weird about that?

“Hey! So about that girl that we saw…” Kaminari suddenly speaks up, nudging Kirishima in the arm, signaling him to answer his query. Bakugo barely looks up at the sound of his friend’s yapping, continuing to play with the food on his bowl. “Who do you think was she?”

“She’s most probably the wolf princess.” Eijiro shrugs casually, biting on a roasted corncob. “Yakushima forest is protected by the three animal gods whom we know by now as the forest gods. The Wolf goddess, The Gorilla king, and The Deer god. The Deer god being the most powerful of them all. There have been rumors and reports going around that the goddess had taken in an abandoned human girl, and was treated as one of their kin years ago. The girl holds pure resentment for her own kind and chooses to live in the Yakushima forest, taking down every single human who has negative intentions and evil plans for the land she lives in.”

“Well, if she’s that badass, then you shouldn’t call her a princess. She’s a queen!” Kaminari remarks, biting on his newly roasted corncob, listening eagerly to Kirishima’s tale. Bakugo looks up at Denki and the goofy blonde could have sworn he saw a small smile form on Katsuki’s face.

Kirishima laughs at his friend’s little quip, “You’re right. She’s amazing, isn’t she?”

“You weirdos should get to sleep. We go back to the forest first thing in the morning.” Katsuki stands up from his seat, his hands in his pockets, grumpily trotting away to the inn.

“Oh.” Denki blinks. “That was faster than I thought. I didn’t expect him to be convinced so easily. Did you pull that story from your ass Kirishima-kun?”

The red-haired teen shook his head. “Nope. All of that was real.”

“For real? You’re not joking?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Goodnight then!” The other blonde leaves his seat, patting Eijiro in the arm before leaving and going back to his quarters.

Kirishima looks up at the glistening night sky, a few stars present in the sky to greet him a wonderful night, the boy hoping he would find an answer amongst the stars. “May the gods help us in our adventure.” He breathes a hefty sigh, closing his eyes. After a few more minutes of praying for guidance, he puts out the fire and retreats back to his room.

The night passes by quickly, another day of their adventure waiting to unfold.

“Don’t you dare come back here you disgusting prince.”

“No one wants him here! Got it? Let him go on this adventure and never come back!”

“He’s just a burden. To be cursed by an animal as simple as a boar? Pathetic.”

“Useless vermin.”

“Banished forever? How sad.”

“A prince falling from grace? Predictable.”

The voices of the village people echo in his head.

These were words from them that he was not meant to hear. Ones that he accidentally heard before leaving that same night. These were the words that will haunt him forever.

He, Katsuki Bakugo, of all people, would let all these horrid, vile, and false words get to him?

These were the same words with the same meaning that he’s heard hundreds and hundreds of times from different people, yet it never got to him. He chose to ignore them.

But, why now? What was going on?  Why was he feeling this way?

Katsuki awakens at the dead of the night. Beads of sweat falling from his temples, his breath hitched and his body aching. He was not himself right now and this intense feeling of uneasiness and torment confirmed it. Although, he wanted to keep this to himself. He didn’t want anybody else to know what he was feeling. He could overcome this on his own. He could do this all on his own.

“I’ll show them.” He continues to breathe at a fast pace, still a bit shocked by the nightmare he had just seen. “I’ll fucking show them that I am the prince of the Mustafu tribe.” He props himself up from his sleeping mat, reaching for his neatly folded clothes beside him. “And nothing’s going to change that.”

Katsuki begins to get dressed, feeling nothing but anger and determination running through his veins. He puts on his grey vest and wraps his red cape onto his back. He continues to put on his ensemble when a sudden rush of pain begins to throb in his arm. Bakugo’s immediate reaction is to curl up, holding his stomach to try and ease the pain.

The curse was acting up again, reacting to the anger and negative emotions that Katsuki was feeling right now. The blonde winces in pain, kneeling down on the floor to take a hold of his arm that was manifesting a glowing blue and black aura. His muscle continues to throb and he could do nothing but hold it down and take in all the pain until it eventually goes away.

After several minutes of resisting and trying to ease the pain by thinking of more positive and enlightening thoughts, the throbbing suddenly stops. Bakugo goes back to breathing at a normal pace. He rests for a few minutes, making sure that his body was functioning properly once more before he quickly heads out of his private room to head to back to Yakushima forest, searching for answers. He didn’t have time to wait for Kirishima and Kaminari anymore. He was growing impatient, and hearing the haunting words of his village people circling in his head fueled his will power to get this whole ordeal done and head back home.

It was finally the end of another day protecting the forest.

You were about on your daily patrol with the wolf goddess and your wolf siblings, when you encounter three young men who looked like they were lost in the woods. You immediately assumed that they were looking for the tree of life. But they weren’t like the others. They weren’t finding it for selfish reasons. They were looking for it in hopes to find a cure for a curse. That’s what their auras were trying to show at least.

One of those men particularly piqued your interest.

He was… handsome? Was that the word that humans used?

He had ash blonde hair that spiked upwards at all angles, passionate red orbs that gave him such a striking appearance, as if he could hold up the world in his hands. Calloused hands that had taken a part in many battles, a muscular build like that of a noble warrior, a shining sword just as big as him and an arrow that he looked like he was adept at using.

Yet despite your observations, there was this mysterious air around him that you just couldn’t understand.

“(Y/N)? Dear? Is anything wrong?” The elegant white wolf goddess, Moro, calls out to her human daughter, with a worried look.

“I saw 3 dorks by the riverbend on our patrol a while ago.” You say rather jokingly, trying to remember their faces. “I should have struck them down when I had the chance.” You shake your head, reaching for the knife in your skirt and grasping it.

“How so?” The goddess twitches her ear, as if raising an eyebrow at you. “Did you feel any bad spirits within them? Any emotional aura? I told you to do that before attempting to attack anyone remember?”

“There was this particular man among them who had strong energy. He was radiating a gloomy yet aggressive energy. Like that of a person hiding their true emotions to remain strong and brave to the outside world. I kind of felt sorry for him.” Your voice trails off as you nestle your body next to the wolf goddess, along with your siblings who were cuddled up next to you too.

“Why don’t you go check up on him then?” Moro replies casually, as if teasing you. You raise your head up, feeling a tint shade of pink appear on your cheeks.

“W-what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

A shrieking noise began to ring in your ears, signaling that a human has entered the forest. You quickly rise up from the bed of leaves you were sleeping in. Running out of the cave, you gallop down a slope and sprint your way to the foot of the forest. The spirits guiding you to where you needed to go.

You feel the hostile energy yet again.

Could it be the young man from earlier?

When he enters your field of vision, you climb up the nearest tree to get a clearer look at him from above and from afar.

He still had the same expression plastered upon his face since this afternoon. An irritated and scornful look, yet there was kindness in his eyes that you couldn’t describe.

It wasn’t the kindness that you would see from the eyes of a regular person but it was a kindness that was combined with a desire to protect the people around him. It was different and oddly comforting.

You continue to observe his every move, waiting for him to mess up or try to hurt the magical properties of the forest before you confront him to ask why the hell was he even roaming around in the forest, in the middle of night like a fluffy dog.

Katsuki noticed you standing on the tree-tops.

You weren’t exactly the greatest hide and seek player.

However, he chose to shrug you off and ignore you as he continues to look for traces of spiritual energy that could lead him to the tree of life.

Based on the stories that Kirishima had told, he was actually a bit surprised by your appearance. He couldn’t make out your face with the mask that you were wearing but he noticed your mildly disheveled hair, the ragged clothes you had on, a cape made of white fur and a necklace adorned with three fangs hanging on your neck. From that alone, he knew you were a princess. Not your conventional princess per se with all the jewelry, intricate headpieces and beautiful dresses but, the presence that you have has sort of a dignified feel to it. You might not look like the part but you embodied everything that a princess should be. Headstrong, intelligent, confident in her beliefs, and never afraid to stand her ground.

That’s what Katsuki thinks at least.

With all the stories that Kirishima had recited about the Yakushima forest, you were one of the most interesting bits.

Katsuki Bakugo was enthralled by you in more ways than one.

You were a mysterious enigma that he had to unravel.

You were getting a bit tired of watching him aimlessly roam around the forest. He was absolutely going nowhere which is funny because he didn’t strike you as a person who had no sense of direction. In an alternate universe, he’d probably be kidnapped by some villain or bad guy if he continued to be reckless like this, just walking around without a care in the world.

You spoke too soon.

You barely dodge a sharp arrow that pierces through a tree. It wasn’t from the young man you were watching but from someone else. Thieves. two of them.

You forgot that you weren’t able to sense other humans entering the forest if you focus on a particular one. It completely slipped your mind that there would still be sick individuals who would try and attempt to find the riches of the forest despite the many incidents happening time and time again warning humans to not enter the Yakushima Forest if they want to explore it for their own selfish desires.

You hastily jump down onto the ground, releasing a flurry of punches and kicks at the thieves, knocking 2 of them unconscious. You thought that the fight was over until you hear agonizing screams from the other side of the forest.

You quickly sprint your way there, hoping nothing serious had happened and no one was hurt in the process.

You arrived in a secluded area, tall trees covering the sun or the moon for the light to seep into, resulting in a dark and gloomy atmosphere.

You stop in your tracks when you notice six thieves unconscious on the ground too. You were about to breathe a sigh of relief when you notice that the boy was panting heavily, injuries and deep wounds were present all around his body. He was terribly injured. He stares at you for a few seconds before collapsing onto the ground.

You grit your teeth, approaching him with a scornful look. “You’ve wasted your life by getting in my way!” You sheathe his blade from it’s scabbard, pointing it directly to his chest. Katsuki’s chest rises up and down, a sign showing that he was breathing normally but was at the brink of unconsciousness.

“I’ll cut your throat! That will shut you up!”

“You’re beautiful…”

He mumbles, his eyes fluttering open, making intense eye contact with yours.

You suddenly feel your heart race, thumping loudly. You pull the sword away and jump away from him. You were taken aback by his words because of how he caught you off guard just like that. Who gave him the right to do this to you? Who was he in the first place?

Why did he make you feel all these soft and mushy feelings right now?

Who gave him the right to do this to you?

A human being? 

A feeling sparking in your chest...

Is this what humans  call love?

-        To be continued.

[frogtanii]

Note: hi omg this was supposed to be sent such a long time ago when the haikyuu smau was still ongoing,, i thought froggie just didnt like it or smth then i sent the ask asking about whether or not they got it and it hit me ckkckcm ok anyway hope u like it

Cw: Panic attack, anxiety, intrusive thoughts (kinda), swearing, liberal use of italics

Bokuto let out a yawn as he stretched. What time is it? He thought to himself as he grabbed his phone. 4:47 am. That day he had fallen asleep way earlier than usual, at about 6 pm. He was exhausted, the fact that he had not been eating probably adding to that exhaustion. His gaze went down from the time on his phone screen to see some notifications from the Hype(r) House group chat. After swiping a couple of times the group chat opened. He wishes it hadn’t. He wishes he didn’t see those messages at that time.

The messages were nothing out of the ordinary, yet for some reason, Meiko’s flirting with Hajime hit him harder that moment. Maybe it was the fact that he was exhausted and starving, maybe it was the fact that his heart still clenches when thinking of his ex-lover. The I love you’s, the pet names, the invitations for cuddling. His sleepy eyes widened, his chest felt heavy, he could’ve sworn he was getting stabbed right then and there. How could he have been so stupid? Why is he such an idiot? Why did he fall for her like that? He loved her so much. She was his everything.

“I loved her, I loved her...” he silently kept repeating to himself as tears started rolling down his face. His chest is getting heavier by the moment, his stomach feels sick. He can’t breathe. At that moment he opened another group chat, he wasn’t sure which one it was, but he managed to type two simple messages:

‘It hurts’

‘I can’t breathe’

—

You let out a sigh as you turned off your laptop. You had finally finished editing some features for your streams. You got up from your chair. Thankfully your work desk was quite close to your bed so you didn’t waste time before throwing your body on the bed. Before drifting to sleep you decided to check your phone to see how your recent tweets had done. You picked up the phone from the nightstand and saw some notifications from your group chat with the boys, you didn’t pick up what the notifications said at first. You swiped and opened the group chat. Your eyes widened at the texts, quickly typing ‘Bo what’s going on???’ And sending the text. Your brain finally picked up at what you were actually meant to be doing. You rush out of your room right into Bokuto’s room only to find him trembling on his bed. You quickly approach and hug him. He hugs you back tightly, letting out choked sobs.

“Bo? What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He manages to choke out.

“Koutarou, what happened? Talk to me, Kou.” You quickly say, trying to keep the concern from showing on your voice.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you worried!” Guilt was choking him. First, he bullied you, now this? How horrible could he be?

“Koutarou. Talk to me. What happened?”

“How could I have been such an idiot, yn? Why am I so fucking dumb?” He sobbed between the words. “I... I loved her so much, she was my everything.”

“Bo.” You pulled away from the hug, looking at his eyes. “You are not an idiot, okay? She made you feel like this. This is how people like her work. It’s not your fault, okay? Okay?”

“If I was better, this wouldn’t have happened. If I was better she would’ve really loved me.” His tears and sobs weren’t getting any better. I’m making her feel even more guilty, I’m making her worried. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Fuck, fuck! He repeated to himself in his head.

“I...” he looked at your face, slightly calming down. “I don’t want this to go on any longer... I want these thoughts to stop, I want them to stop, yn!” He wiped his tears, which wasn’t doing much since more tears kept coming out.

“Koutarou!” You placed both your hands on his cheeks, making him look directly at you, “Listen to me, you will be fine. You are fine. It is not your fault. She did this to you. She did this to you.”

He froze for a moment, staring at your eyes. While doing so, he knew for a fact that you, yn, you were telling the truth. How could those eyes be lying?

He calmed down, tears stopping. All that was left now was his occasional sobs. You slowly put your hands down, making them hold his.

Kenma opened the door to find you two on the bed. He hadn’t slept that night either and had just finished a stream when he saw the messages on his phone and rushed to Bokuto’s room. He approached you two looked at Bokuto with concern. “Um, are you okay, dude?”

Bokuto manages to chuckle a little through the sobs. “Yeah, man... Thank you.”

“You should get some sleep, Bo.”

He stayed silent and nodded before laying down. You put a blanket over him, making a deal with yourself that you will not leave until you are sure he’s asleep and safe. He turned his back to you and Kenma, hoping that the feelings would go away from him as he drifted away but unfortunately they did not. The guilt and sadness stayed there, suffocating him. He closed his eyes and drifted off, hoping, praying, that he wouldn’t dream of the one who caused this in the first place.

[hopelesshawks]

Official Accounts Part 13- Confession

Summary: (y/n) was perfectly happy remaining anonymous, even if her best friends were all pro heroes and she worked under THE Hawks. Handling the technical aspects of hero work from the background suited her just fine, thank you very much. That goes out the window when suddenly her twitter blows up thanks Denki and the famed no. 2 hero is asking her to run his own official twitter as a result

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Masterlist

Hawks was not prepared for you to walk out of the employee bathrooms looking as good as you did when he finally returned to the agency to hand the reigns over to Endeavor for the night. He had really been hoping to wait to call in the favor Endeavor owed him for covering his patrols, but the more time Hawks spent with you the more he needed answers. It was growing harder and harder to deny the way looking at you made his heart race. The way part of him wanted nothing more than to make you laugh even when he was trying to ascertain what you were up to. And the way his heart stopped when you walked out of that employee bathroom, Mina quickly rushing out behind you and giving you a thumbs up and a wink before departing, only further confirmed that he desperately needed to know what your intentions were.

“Ready to go, Kid?” he asks as he extends an arm to you. “Ready,” you said as you exhaled shakily in hopes of clearing your nerves. You linked your arm in his and with all the charm you had come to expect from the number two hero he guided you out of the office and onto the busy streets of the city. You would die before admitting it, but looking at Hawks under the glow of the city lights made him look ethereal. So much so you could hardly pull your eyes away. The two of you were talking of that you were sure, and you assume you were giving intelligible responses, but in all honesty if asked to recount the conversation you wouldn’t be able to. You were too caught up in the wonder that Hawks had chosen you of all people.

Eventually the smell of food brings you back to Earth as you realize Hawks has brought you to a tiny hole in the wall restaurant on the other side of town. Hardly anyone else is inside, all the big crowds are deeper into the city, but something about the quiet atmosphere is refreshing after the noise of all the bustling crowds. “Hawks!” The owner calls out cheerfully as he makes his way around to the two of you. “Glad you finally made it. I’ve got a special table reserved for you out back,” the owner grins. “Ah you really do spoil me. Lead the way,” Hawks laughs as the owner does just that.

You’re guided to the back and out the door only to find an entirely separate seating area, deserted. Fairy lights provide the main source of light, giving the whole thing a dream-like quality. When the owner departs after seating the two of you, you and Hawks are left alone in the romantic atmosphere and you can’t help but feel nervous. Yet one look across the table at your date for the evening, especially when he flashes That Grin(tm) at you, eases your mind almost immediately.

The night feels nothing short of magical as the two of you laugh over drinks and the best ramen you’ve ever had in your life but as the food and alcohol settle in your stomach the conversation turns to deeper topics. “Can I ask you a potentially personal question?” Hawks asks. “Sure,” you shrug as you take another sip of your drink. “Is it weird having all your friends be pro heroes? You didn’t ever think about joining in yourself?” he asks. “You’re asking ‘cause of how I reacted to Chargebolt after that one patrol right?” you ask. He’s not. He asking to determine your possible motives. But he can’t say that, so instead he shoots you a sheepish grin and rubs the back of his neck as he lies “that obvious, huh?” “It’s a fair question and you’re not the first to ask,” you laugh. “It’s kind of a heavy story though, I don’t wanna bring down the mood,” you admit, looking away from the gorgeous, curious man across from you.

Suddenly you feel a gentle hand on your chin turning your head to make you look him in his eyes again. “You could never, Kid,” he assures you with as much faux sincerity as his brain can muster even if his heart is pleading with him to be genuine. You gulp and in that moment Hawks thinks he’s finally caught you.

“My mom was a pro hero. She didn’t break top 10 or anything but growing up she was Denki and I’s idol. I’m pretty sure she’s the reason he wanted to become a pro hero so bad in the first place. For a little while I wanted to be one too,” you begin. This was it. Hawks was sure of it. Any moment now you’d confirm your resentment that you never lived up to your mother and it would explain your rage and the training and your fascination with him and- “She uhm, she died in a villain attack when I was in middle school. Things just weren’t the same after that so I abandoned the idea of being a pro hero,” you confessed.

Oh...

Oh that was not what Hawks was expecting at all.

“When I found out Denki still wanted to be one I stopped talking to him for like a month. I forgave him eventually, obviously, but uh I refused to get back on the hero path. I knew too well the constant stress and pressure my mom was under and in the end all it did was encourage her to push too far and get herself killed. I know UA’s general studies course has a reputation of being for the hero course rejects but I only went to UA to keep an eye on Denki. If I couldn’t stop him from becoming a hero then at least I could make sure he didn’t push himself too far, y’know? Then I re-did the computer system and administration insisted I swap over to hero support. Eventually I realized that if it weren’t for my mom a lot more people would’ve died and while it sucks she had to make that sacrifice I know she’d do it again in a heartbeat. Even scarier Denki and Katsuki and Mina and Hitoshi and Eiji would all do it too. So while I can’t bring myself to become a pro hero myself, at the very least I can do my best to make sure the heroes get home safe.”

You’re not sure when exactly during your story you had begun crying but you swipe at your eyes to wipe the tears away now. You bring your gaze back to Hawks’ and open your mouth to apologize for ruining the mood but are instead surprised by the feeling of his lips on yours. There’s a split second of shock where you do nothing, but the moment it passes you return his kiss eagerly.

You are perfect. Every fiber of Hawks’ being screams that you are perfect. If anyone could possibly hope to understand him, his heart and his gut and now finally his head tell him it’s you. And with that realization comes an overwhelming amount of guilt. He had treated you like a villain when all you had done was be good to him and all those around you. He wants to apologize. God, how he wants to apologize. But that would require admitting he’d treated you with suspicion, that this “date” had been a ruse. So he says nothing, and he kisses you with passion and heartache and guilt and understanding and something that feels suspiciously like love. He kisses you with every single emotion that is coursing through him and hopes that will be enough.

Author’s Note: I feel like Hawks is the type who falls fast and hard once he lets himself fall. Writing this chapter was ROUGH. Hawks and (y/n) are in such wildly different places emotionally from start to finish. I’ve been trying to minimize the amount of written portions because it feels a bit like a betrayal of the smau format (and I like the challenge of restricting it) but there’s some stuff coming up down the line that just wouldn’t be discussed over text so there will probably be more soon. This was another monster chapter but we’re really getting into the thick of the story now so I’m not shocked

Taglist [open]: @cathy8taffy @katzurras @grumpyfroggies @captaincyberqueen @itskindofafairything @420-uwu

[hawks-supremacy]

New Beginnings - Happy Endings

a/n: This is the final chapter of New Beginnings, I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I’m making another smau called Baked Goods it’s gonna be about Osamu because he is best chef and best boy.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 922

Masterlist

You were getting ready for your date with Ukai at Tanaka’s house so that Saeko could help you get ready. Currently half of the volleyball team were standing in the living room while you finished getting dressed. You understood why Tanaka and Noya were here, you vaguely understood why Suga and Daichi were there. However, you didn’t understand why they had dragged poor Asahi and Kiyoko here. Surely they didn’t care about your date. As you walked into the living room you noticed that the amount of people waiting for you went from six to nine now that Hinata, Kageyama and Yachi were here. 

You hesitantly walked into the room not wanting to disrupt the current conversation going on. You found Saeko in the kitchen and quickly walked over to her, “What are they all doing here?” You had whispered to her. She turned and shrugged, “I think they’re here to ruff up your boyfriend before your date.” You rolled your eyes, “He’s not my boyfriend yet this is one date, what if it goes horribly?” She reassured you that it wouldn’t and pushed you into the living room announcing to everyone of your arrival. 

Immediately you had questions being shouted at you. You quickly shut everyone up, “Alright! Geez, are you all this concerned with my love life?” All nine of them looked at each other and shrugged, before they could bombard you with questions again there was knocking at the door. You watched as they all tripped over each other to get to the door before calmly walking over and opening the door. “Hey.” You smiled at Ukai as you greeted him. He smiled back and handed your usual snack that you usually have on break at work. You laughed as you took it, “Guys normally bring girls flowers or chocolates on dates.” He shrugged as he scratched the back of his neck, suddenly regretting the present, “Yeah but I’m not most guys and you aren’t most girls.” Your smile got wider at the cliche sentence and you ushered him inside.

His eyes got wider as he entered seeing the majority of the volleyball team and Saeko standing in the living room with their arms crossed and stern looks plastered on their faces. You sighed heavily, “One at a time please. Don’t overwhelm him, he’s old, might get a heart attack.” He scoffed at your statement grumbling about how he’s not that much older. 

Luckily the children listened and went one at a time, or in groups and only one of them spoke. The first people were Kageyama, Yachi, and Hinata. The latter speaking for all three of them, “We may not have known Y/n for that long but you better not hurt them. They’re great and we don’t want them to quit helping out with the team just because you broke their heart.” You ruffled Hinata’s hair and thanked them for caring.

Next went Tanaka and Noya, “If you hurt Y/n you’ll regret it. Not because we’ll hurt you, but because they’re amazing and you’ll miss out on the greatest thing to happen to you. Plus they make awesome cookies.” You hugged them and laughed as they whispered that they wanted cookies and promised you’d make them some.

Next was Kiyoko and Asahi both just asking him to be kind to you. You smiled at them and thanked them for their concern and they smiled back. Saeko went next with some colorful words and some very creative threats that you’d rather not repeat. Suga and Daichi went separate, with Suga going first. “Listen, Y/n is one of my best friends and they’ve been through a lot. So just please don’t hurt them or break their heart. You are my coach so I don’t want to threaten you but honestly I won’t hesitate because Y/n is one of the most important people in my life. So be careful with them.” You looked at Suga and hugged him sniffling softly, desperately trying not to cry. He hugged you tightly and told you to have fun on your date and you nodded. 

Lastly was Daichi narrowing his eyes as he stepped forward, “I don’t necessarily like the idea of my coach and my sibling dating, however, for whatever reason you make them happy. So continue to make them happy, they don’t have the best dating record and not a lot makes them happy. I hate seeing them cry and if I have to see it again I’m not gonna be happy. Got it?” Ukai gave him a firm nod and jokingly saluted him. Daichi turned to you and pulled you in for a hug, “Have fun and if he tries anything just text me got it?” You nodded as you separated. 

You waved goodbye to everyone and hurriedly pushed Ukai out the door before they could throw any more threats his way, “Sorry about that, they get a little out of hand sometimes. I didn’t even know they were coming over.” He shrugged it off as he took your hand in his, your face heating up at the action. “For a bunch of kids they can be pretty terrifying. They don’t have to worry about anything though. I’ve been wanting to date you since I was a third year, I’m not about to ruin this.” You smiled softly at the statement as you walked in a comfortable silence to your destination. This would be the best first date to lead into the best relationship of your life.

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