#NOW I am feeling what ppl were feeling about homelander | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sehtoast · 5 months ago

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How are you able to like Homelander and not condone his actions at the same time, without feeling crappy? This sounds accusing but I’m asking bc I’m struggling with it. I know ppl who do the same with characters, but I’ve had an unwelcome fixation on him come out of nowhere and I feel sick and guilty bc I feel like everyone will think I’m some kind of freak or something. I’m very much anti-sa and other gross stuff esp as a victim but I still feel like I’m being hypocritical or something. I’m sorry for the weird message but I feel like I’m losing my mind

The short answer is that he’s fictional. Think of… I dunno, an antagonist in media of a different form (let’s go with anime). I was a naruto kid growing up, so let’s use Orochimaru for an example. My guy was on some fuck shit through the entire show. Snatching bodies, murkin’ Hokages, wild experiments, all that shit with Sasuke, and so on. People still liked him regardless because he was a cool character despite the bad things he’s done. Some people may have even found him relatable in certain ways. I feel like it’s the same concept here.

You don’t have to feel bad about enjoying fictional characters, no matter how awful they may be. At the end of the day, they’re fictional and their actions have harmed nobody in real life. Their actions may mirror that which does harm real people, but they themselves have not dealt real harm to real people. Enjoying them does not mean you condone their actions.

I’m also extremely anti-SA, and am a victim of it myself, but I still find a lot of love and appreciation for Homelander’s character– but this isn’t hypocritical. My love for him doesn’t come from the fact he has perpetrated that act, nor should it come from that. I love him as a character with the bottom line that he is… extremely complex.

I’ve said it for years now, but I think Homelander is a compelling tale of the dangers of commodifying the human soul. He is an example of how awful someone can turn out if you deprive them of humanity with the goal of creating a product. People are not products, we are not a means to an end, and we certainly should never be treated that way. He was, and this is how he turned out. He’s a take on the cyclical nature of trauma in a lot of really interesting ways as well.

I find him relatable from a standpoint of my own traumas and being transgender. Episode four of s4 revealed that I have a jarring amount of trauma that mirrors his own to some capacity. I’ve always suspected these things, and I’ve had headcanons since the first season, and having them confirmed reminded me just how much I’ve latched onto this character because of it. Homelander experienced some degree of sexual abuse in the labs– and I wager there may have been worse than simply being called ‘squirt.’ Homelander was subjected to physical torture and locked in a room where his mind slowly fractured, all while being conditioned to never seek escape otherwise he’d be too devastated from disappointing the scientists or losing their ‘love.’

I have experienced SA, I was locked in my room with nothing as punishment (my 'bad room'), had very little privacy and next to no access to boundaries as a kid, I was put through physical pain very often by a sibling (my furnace), I was reared and conditioned to have a fear of disappointing others so severe it made my blood pressure drop into the danger zone a couple times as a kid– and still has similar effects as an adult. I’d literally pass out, have panic/anxiety attacks, vomit, etc. I also know what it’s like, as a trans man, to have been raised and reared for a life that was designed for me, but was not me. I was lucky enough to find my way to the person I needed to be; Homelander has not and likely will not ever be able to do so. In all of the aforementioned, I have a lot of empathy and compassion for him that combines with my fascination with his complexity. There were a lot of things in my life that should have pushed me down the road to be an awful person, much like the things in his life did. But I had a handful of people to guide me toward better things. He didn’t.

But I see myself in there nonetheless. Homelander was the first time I ever saw so much of my own trauma on display in a single character. I’d love to hug the man and tell him he’s enough, show him the humanity he was and continues to be denied, and so on. When I realized that means that I would, in turn, do that for myself if I only viewed myself through a lens that wasn’t my own, my life changed. This character changed my life. I know I thirst-post about him a lot, but my love for Homie runs a lot deeper than just finding him attractive, you feel?

A fictional character doesn’t have to be one of moral high ground or superiority for it to be okay for you to enjoy them. You can enjoy characters who commit horrible acts. This does not make you someone who condones horrible acts. I was initially pretty embarrassed to admit I like Homelander as much as I do, but I slowly realized that it does not make me a bad person and it should never be used as a gauge to find out how ‘moral’ someone is or not. People like Hannibal Lecter, people like Thomas Hewitt, Joffrey, Albert Wesker, Cletus Kasady– any number of fictional characters who have an ugly record or have done horrific things. We do not assume someone is evil because they like Hannibal, nor should we do the same for people who like Homelander.

At the end of the day, do what makes you happy. If exploring Homie is something you would have fun with, do it! Engage in media, learn tales of caution and tragedy– stories make us human. You are not inhuman for enjoying Homelander and his tale. In fact, I would argue you are very human because of it.

#homelander #the boys #ask #anon #i'm sorry if this was long. i just feel like you deserve a good answer friend.#my inbox is always a safe spot if you want to talk about him #sehtoast rambles

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plasticfangtastic · 1 year ago

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Okay so i gotta talk about Gen V ep 5 or am gonna explode!

And gotta talk about The Boys S4 spoilers for 2 reasons... 1) something mentioned by Dr Cardosa in the episode and 2) the VoughtHQ twitter leaker... mainly cuz am getting this after trying to check on a leak from season 4... their twitter also wont load for me... like can we just let Becca Saunders rest? Can her poor life stop being milked for manpain??

Spoilers under cut obvi.

First-- off congrats Marie and Jordan I hope you 2 get married and be the power couple this universe needs.

Second here its out Butcher cameo lol. I think this is from S1 after killing madelyn but seeing him in a beanie its so weird altho there is a Homelander article in the same page so who knows.

Third-- Cate you poor bitch!! I felt so betrayed but i dont doubt she its being brainwashed/groomed by Dean Shety so maybe she can be redeemed and her powers are too strong.... i dont doubt that there its a chance she its involved in who appears in ep 6 if thats not a halucination.

Fourth-- Dr. Cardosa mentioning a virus to deal with them... so i guess thats how we r gonna deal with the supe population and why i think the vought hq leak might be real as it mentions the virus as well... i think its super interesting that Vought its developing a virus to kill supes, i guess stan edgar did had a way to make V24 viable despite having supes and maybe a way to get rid of Homelander... by giving him the common cold i guess.

Fifth-- am glad that Maverick is another bisexual king but its the bestiality jokes necessary?? altho I assume his alpaca gf Sloane its just a shapeshifter. So far we got Marie, Jordan, Emma, Cate and Andre as our bisexual monarchs and thats basically the whole cast sans Sam... absolutely iconic Kripke, best apology after fucking up Dean Winchester but i wont forgive you for what u did... still thank you.

Sixth-- the pv for the next ep has fucking Soldier Boy!!! Deep down i feel he its most likely a halucination... saw some ppl theorizing that Cate its mindstorm daughter and she witnessed Mindstorm getting killed by SB so she will use her powers to send them to a mind prison to fight SB which is absurd but i doubt SB its there unless Cate's powers were use to brainwash soldier boy and use him as a weapon in the future, as his powers r too good plus is Vought wants to kill all supes then it makes sense for them to team up with the american govt and have SB as back up while they work with the Superona.

Seventh-- i only now noticed there its a wall poster for homie and loneliness on those school mental health ads which is sad and funny.

Eight-- overall great episode loved how much its happening and its only been days inside the canon, and fuck Rufus! How its the next 3 eps gonna kill me!! Like its too freaking much!!

And finally this shit...

I would not be surprised if this virus is the one being developed in The Woods by Vought, second if this is real then Butcher its a complete pos and a hypocrite i expect the following scenarios of: a) during the time Becca was raped or the wk she went missing thats when Butcher cheated on Becca so its not hatred that motivated his revenge against Homelander but guilt for cheating on his wife... probably with his married fbi plug if i had to take a guess. Or B) Becca learned of his affair decided to have her own affair with Homelander tried to end it which resulted in her S.A. which its why Homelander doesnt see what he did as rape bcuz i guess its not assault if its ur GF/Wife in his mind.

And i guess he takes V or the V24 never left his body unless some Supe can give powers which cause Butcher to use them am so confused is he like a power conduit???

I am gonna say Frenchie or MM will die in this story unless by main characthers they mean any of the Seven, Vought execs or Neuman... doubt Hughie, Starlight, Kimiko or Homelander are gonna die in S4.... but maybe Ashley who knows.

And finally giving cookies to Ryan did like HL saw the tumor felt sad for Butcher and decided to let him see Ryan? or did Ryan just sneaked out and met Billy??

#gen v #personal #my thoughts #the boys season 4 spoilers #maybe

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simp0here · 3 years ago

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Genshin boys reacting to you telling them about one of your traumas

TW: family issues, almost r@pe, abandonment, bullying (and I hope there are no more)

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Childe (that ginger loaded w mora)

-You told him that your mom and dad all the time loved your siblings more, pressuring you to be like them. (The story of my life)

-He surprisingly was quiet and listened to every word, in contrast of his usual self

-If you start crying telling them how hard it was the will kiss your tears away and hold you close

“I love you no matter what, if you desire perfection than please be yourself. I am so proud of you even tho no one could say this to you, because you are just a god/goddess. So please don’t cry for stupid reasons”

-He knows you love your family even tho so he would try to not take care of them.

Scaramouche (the one that I simp w no shame)

-You told him how at a young age a boy tried to force you into things you don’t want to remember, happily you managed to escape not before almost choking to death. (IS IT AB ME? YES)

-He cuts you off by asking you “Do you remember his name?”

“It was something like H/n (his name) I think?”

“Ok than… Wait- why tf are you crying”

“I am not” *starts tearing up*

-He isn’t that good w comforting ppl but he will try fy

“Umm.. do you need a hug?”

*you nod*

-But he managed to hug and kiss you, than kill any guy from your homeland w that name<33

Xiao (hey emo boy HEY HEY!)

-Why did you say my name, I see no demon

“Sorry but I need to tell you something”

“You really have no respect for the adeptus, do you? But let’s hear”

-You told him that at a young age your mom and dad got mad at you for something stupid and throw you out. (WHAT AB ME?)

“Do mortals think? Even I know you should not do that to a kid, you wanted to have sex, you need to love and take care of that kid”

*starts sobbing*

“Did I say smt wrong? If yes than I am sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“Is just that I was stupid and-“

“Wtf? You were just a child, an actual one so? Mortal kids are dumb but grow up”

“So? That’s my fault, I was stupid enough to do that, did you even listen me tell you what I did?”

“Yes I did but I don’t see it as smt to punish, they are awful for doing that to you”

-He isn’t good w comforting (Scara be like “I AM THE FIRST”) but he loves you deeply so he would try to be by your side

-Holds you until you fall asleep and won’t move an inch

Zhongli (meteorite goes bum bum)

-You tell Zhongli how you used to get bullied when you were young for being too tall/short, for being childish even tho you were a child, etc etc. And that you are scared to be judged so you try to be perfect even now

-He made you tea while you were starting to cry your heart out and than hold you close

“My flower, they are dumb for ever do that”

“Don’t worry love, I don’t know why are you trying to lie rn”

“Who said I was lying, I wish that I could meet you sooner to help you”

“I was a kid, and you are more than what 6000 years old or smt?”

“Actually I am (idk man) but does not matter, and why is that a shame? I would have help you, because you deserve to have the highest experience of life, you deserve to be worshipped”

“You are the god”

“And? It’s more like a rank at this point, you did nothing wrong to get a bad rank, you did just so well that would be the best to get the treatment that I get from ppl because you are amazing and caring and kind”

-He got you<33

————————————————————————

Sorry that this is too short, I hope you liked it and made you feel better, take care and I will try to write more, bye!

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spiderling-space · 4 years ago

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i saw that your requests are opened again~ may i request a short fic with Cater x f!Reader? ppl near me always celebrates every month's 14th as valentines day o~o || soo.. id like to give cater some of my 𝘣𝘢𝘥𝘭𝘺- homemade chocolate!arigatou~ ¬~^

You mean to tell me that there would be 12 days a year to remind me I’m single instead of just 1 xD J

Also if someone makes me homemade chocolate, I’d cherish them eternally. Chocolate is the way of life. I would like to eat every chocolate description I made here but the last one.

Italics indicate thoughts

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

Cater Diamond

(Y/N) was nervous about telling her boyfriend about celebrating every month’s 14th day as Valentine’s Day, not wanting to put pressure on Cater. On the other hand, she also wanted to continue the tradition of her homeland so she decided to be sly about it. On the first 14th day of the month after they started dating, she made kiss chocolate filled with caramel and gave Cater as a gift. He just took pictures of the chocolates, him feigning to eat the chocolate and them together from every possible angle and uploaded them on Magicam. Cater just thanked her as he landed a peck on her cheek, not even tasting the chocolate she made for him. It stung, yet she didn’t want to bring that up at that moment. She just thought he didn’t like the shape or the ingredients of it.

On the following month’s 14th day, (Y/N) decided to make more aesthetically pleasing chocolate so that her boyfriend would at least taste what she prepared for him. This time she made heart-shaped chocolate filled with either white or milk chocolate. She was sure that Cater would find them cute enough to eat them this time. To (Y/N)’s disappointment and annoyance, the result was the same. I may not have told him about celebrating Valentine’s Day on every 14th day of each month but at least he could eat something that’s been prepared by his girlfriend. Do I look like an awful pastier? After Cater and (Y/N) parted ways, (Y/N) took the chocolates back to Ramshackle. She wasn’t going to waste them just because her beloved didn’t even take one piece. She was eating them with Grimm while watching sappy romantic movies much to Grimm’s displeasure, yet he was silenced by the free food.

(Y/N) was determined; she was going to coax Cater to participating in Valentine’s Day without alerting him. On the next month’s 14th day, she made rose and diamond-shaped chocolates with raspberry coating. She was sure that he would love these ones since they had Heartslabyul and diamond of card deck’s theme. She even had the color right.

“(Y/N), this time, you suppressed yourself!” Cater said after he saw her gift. “This will blow up on Magicam!” He winked at her and started taking the photos as usual.

(Y/N) got used to his photo and Magicam addition and she was alright with it but she couldn’t hold back anymore. It took her hours to prepare these; at least he could eat just one. “If you liked it so much, why don’t you try one?”

“Eh?”

“Every time I make chocolate for you, you just take photos and upload them on Magicam. You don’t even taste one. Do you think they only look pleasing and taste terrible?” (Y/N) inquired, frustration could be noticed by anyone.

“Oh… I guess I should tell you about this since we are dating but I would prefer it if it is just between two of us.” (Y/N) nodded in agreement. “I hate sweet things.” Eh? But I’ve seen him eat Trey’s tarts. Why would he eat them if he hates sweets? “I prefer bitter ones.”

“But you eat Trey’s sweets.”

“His unique magic makes the tarts taste bitter.”

Now I feel ignorant. I should have seen that coming but he could have told me too. “Why didn’t you say so? I would have prepared something bitter for my boyfriend.”

“It is not popular to hate sweets and eat spicy and bitter food.” Cater was looking into his Magicam as he replied offhandedly. “Eh? You brought me chocolate every 14th day of the past 3 months. Is this a ritual of yours?”

Shit! Play dumb (Y/N)! “Who is me?” Not that dumb! “Haha L-O-L! I mean I think you are exaggerating. Anyway, I have to go back to Ramshackle. Bye!” (Y/N) kissed his cheek before fleeting the scene before Cater could question her further.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

This month, (Y/N) was sure that her chocolates would be eaten. She used bitter chocolate, shaping them in heart, diamond, kiss and rose. As usual, (Y/N) brought them to Cater, giving him and telling him that they were bitter. After taking lots of photos, Cater finally took a piece to his mouth.

He hummed in delight, “Delicious…” He turned to look at her, having an unhinged look on his face. “So are you going to tell me why you make me chocolate every 14th day of the month?”

His smirk and squinted eyes were making her anxious. “I don’t know what you are talking about?”

“Is that a question or an answer?”

“I will leave that to your interpretation.” (Y/N) scratched her neck, hoping that he would drop the topic, instead he got closer to her, tugging her hair behind her ear.

“I think you are trying to be romantic here, specifically on 14th day. Is there something going on?” He was so close to her, looking at her in an alluring way, speaking softly as if he was trying to seduce her into admitting the truth.

(Y/N)’s heartbeat was going haywire as she was weak to Cater’s this side. “It is just… I used to celebrate Valentine’s Day on every month’s 14th day at home. I just wanted to celebrate with you without burdening you.”

(Y/N) saw Cater’s lips neared hers, hoping to get a kiss but Cater just pulled away from her. Such a tease! “You should have said so!” He winked at her while giving her a peace sign. “We can start a new trend on Magicam. I am going to give a gift to you too and we can take photos as we exchange it. #ValentinesDay #BestGirlfriend #YoungLove.”

“I didn’t want to burden you with this. You don’t need to do it if it’s too much.” (Y/N) didn’t want to force him to do anything.

Cater put his hands to each side of her face, kissing her on the lips. “Just wait here, I’ll grab a gift from Sam’s Shop.” He bopped her nose before leaving her alone.

That went well… I guess I should have told him sooner.

#twisted wonderland #twst #cater diamond #heartslabyul #cater diamond x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #ficlet #female reader

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puppy-phum · 4 years ago

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thank you once again @yibobibo for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here.

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions:

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu).

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @kholran @tiesanjiao @lan-xichens @aheartfullofjolllly @manhasetardis and @lzswy ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

#tag game #wow this was something #i've been waiting for one #bc there is so much love in me #and this year i've discovered so many #new characters to just gush over #about me #random #edit: added a few characters #and tagged some more ppl sorry #also mobile tumblr wouldnt let me edit so lol

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fairycosmos · 4 years ago

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hey big sis :( can i confide in you that i’m so done... like. why is my country so religious because we were colonized? we were all brainwashed. my country is catholic because it was forced onto us. it’s not something we knew about and they came here and killed us after accusing atahualpa of having other gods... they were so cruel, he even gave them the gold and silver they wanted and they still executed him. of course, not before they baptized him. then tupac amaru ii was executed too after trying to revolt. we had to learn what they did to him in first grade it’s insane. it makes upset, why did they have to take everything from us and make us civilized. and now they’re back in europe and they’re ok but we’re not

:(( i’m so sorry love that must be so beyond frustrating. i know there’s nothing i can say to fix the situation or even make it a little better (obviously) and i know the issue is so much larger and much older than any of us. but i hope you know your feelings are absolutely justified and understandable. it’s better to sit with them and accept them - the anger, the confusion, the pain - without trying to self analyse or judge. i know it hurts, but being present with it is the first step towards being able to let it go. it’s beyond fucked up what they did to your country. how they imposed a new religion on it and changed the course of your homelands history all for their own benefit. i can’t imagine. they were just morally bankrupt dude. i have no idea how they could’ve justified all that barbaric shit in their own minds. the rage and sadness is a completely appropriate reaction, as what happened in the past has formed the current reality, and of course you are let down by it. even the narrative that they made you guys ‘civilized’ is just completely disgusting and wrong. that’s what it comes down to, they were all wrong, even worse they were wrong with power they stole. i am so sorry. i’m not sure if there’s anyone in your life you could talk to about this? who could help you have love for the culture of your country while processing and acknowledging the difficult history of it? i’m sure most ppl share a similar sentiment on the topic and it may be cathartic to get it out to those who can understand on a first hand level like you can, as i don’t want to patronize you or undermine your sadness. very very sorry for the second hand grief you have to process for your country and the heavy past that is on your shoulders. and i really think it is a type of grief that has a whole process in order to get through it, as it encompasses loss and trying to accepting what is and not what should be. i’m really hoping things collectively begin to get better even though of course nothing can make up for what’s already happened. i am sending you a lot of love and strength for whenever you need it x

#anon

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drizzit · 3 years ago

Text

#8 Starless Night

Start: May 24th, 2021

End: July 13th, 2021

Tweet:

how many sons does yvnnl have?? catti b unhinged - no rly her fiance just died her dad is dysfunctional af her her best friend just ran away,, this is the only control she has left

i love Alustriel and fret and silverymoon

damn jarlaxle all along

Card: Six of Diamonds - being misled and ran through a maze ;; every path you make can bring progress or deeper into discord

7/10 the ppl parts were great,, most of it is fighting,, but extra points cos catti brie awesome

i,,, am a slow reader - here’s a list of things that happened while i was reading this:

- mtg afr came out on arena july 7th 2021

- learned how 2 play mtg (you get bruenor and lvl 3s in fighter and paladin and WHEW)

- enrolled for my college classes

- went to my first bonfire

- got a scratch test july 12th 2021 ; im allergic to horses :,(

afterthoughts:

I really loved Alustriel and Catti Brie. Like yea, she’s a princess and why hadn’t I thought abt that until now? Like the other companions, she has trouble navigating normal human towns (although those are for diff reasons: wulfgars a big boy, drizzts a drow, regis cos uh wtf is a hobbit doing here, and bruenor he hates anything to do outside his dwarf community)

I loved catti brie trying to be sneaky in silverymoon but everyone is like ‘hey it’s Guen!’ and that Alustriel lets her like it’s nothing, Catti Brie sees that she doesn’t know everything abt Drizzt as much as she wanted to. I also think this is the first time Catti Brie has spoken to a woman :sweat: (and NO just cos they mentioned that there were female dwarves doesn’t count, you have to SHOW it to us >:(

I like when Catti Brie blows up the hole to their escape that Drizzt gives her a kissy on the cheek. That’s her thing, and Drizzt (and regis) know that’s her thing, she gives cheek kissies to everyone cos that’s how she shows her admiration and love. When regis kissy I loved it cos we start w catti brie throttling him and when the duo gets back he’s is so filled w relief to see them back after taking over mithral hall - he’s not furious or upset about what happened, he’s just grateful they’re back :)

I did NOT like when the 5’4 squad are mentioned as ‘companions’ or ‘friends’ ; ESPECIALLY not the former. Companions feels like something reserved for the 5 COMPANIONS of the hall (well i mean it was described for regis, wulfgar, drizzt, and bruenor, but catti brie is as much a member of the team as they are! they all made it to mithral hall so MMMM) ;; the inclusion of Entreri in that title seems perverse, he doesn’t belong there he’s taken catti brie captive TWICE and cut off regis fingies :,(

haha drizzt spits on a displaced beast ; like damn, we really are far away from home

Jarlaxle threatens to rape Catti Brie, but it is Menzoberranzan and sexual violence is as common as Sunday brunch :/

jarlaxle so cool and suave !! he tricked EVERYONE

Hey bergynons back, i remember him! He was from honeland! So wait, does Yvonnel have gromph, dantrag, AND Berg?? Hmm mayhaps he was one of those nobles that were adopted like those children in homeland? Was it third born son or just third son in general idk; whateva berg ends up being second boy anyway

That one twist when that matron was murdered,, man it got me,, entreri was alive i should’ve known i feel silly, but it did get me i must admit </3

Drizzt torture, man it hurt me. Yeah I’m never gonna experience a mind fosters fleshy tendrils digging into me searching for the key to my true families destruction but,, couldn’t you imagine? And if they succeeded, you were the one that gave it to them,, not just the physical traumas that you took on during that torture but also psychologically. and soon you’d be sacrificed to the same dark deity as your father? hurted

#forgotten realms #legend of drizzt #drizzt #drizzt do'urden #d&d

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punpunsutatta · 4 years ago

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thanks for the tag tay and cass @teh-ohaew @wavelovespang !! sorry it took me so long 😅 i did most of it already, just had a few questions left

tagging: @yibobibo @morksuns and whoever else wants, i always feel like i’m annoying ppl with tags lol

1. WHAT IS THE COLOR OF YOUR HAIRBRUSH? black

2. NAME A FOOD YOU NEVER EAT. sushi (dni)

3. ARE YOU TYPICALLY TOO WARM OR TOO COLD? too warm! i'm told i'm like a space heater lol, plus my hands heat up sometimes

4. WHAT WERE YOU DOING 45 MINUTES AGO? waking up from this 8 hour nap coma

5. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CANDY BAR? p basic, twix (full-size, the mini stuff is NOT it) snickers or dairy milk

6. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A PROFESSIONAL SPORTS GAME? nope i'm allergic LMAO (edit: so i got my bloodwork results and turns out i AM allergic adjvfdsnc but not to sports)

7. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU SAID OUT LOUD? "can you wake me up in an hour and a half" 🤡

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? idk abt favorite but my go-to is cookies and cream, never fails

9. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK? milk from my cereal

10. DO YOU LIKE YOUR WALLET? yeah!! it's chunky and looks like a PS1 console :) it's rlly dumb now for my big age but i got it sooo many years ago and it has yet to break

11. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? cereal for lunch (soulmates @ tay!!)

12. DID YOU BUY ANY NEW CLOTHES LAST WEEKEND? nothing much, like 3 shirts

13. WHAT’S THE LAST SPORTING EVENT YOU WATCHED?

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF POPCORN? buttery 🤤

15. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU SENT A TEXT MESSAGE TO? one of my best friends, he sent me a tiktok

16. EVER BEEN CAMPING? nah. i think it was hasan minhaj? or trevor noah? maybe both? who once was talking about camping re: the homeland, basically like "nah that was my life, you know how hard i worked to never go camping again?" that sums up my parents' mindset LMAO so i never went growing up. and adult me is far from outdoorsy rip

17. DO YOU TAKE VITAMINS? i should but i forgot to refill them a while ago and just never did :) (edit: i got my refill guys✊🏼)

18. DO YOU REGULARLY ATTEND A PLACE OF WORSHIP? i work at one!

19. DO YOU HAVE A TAN? nope, she hasn't seen the sun in ages :))

20. DO YOU PREFER CHINESE OR PIZZA? uhhhhhh pizza? just bc it's way faster to get pizza than good halal chinese around here

21. DO YOU DRINK YOUR SODA THROUGH A STRAW? if i have one

22. WHAT COLOR SOCKS DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? black with random colors on them, i love mixing them i have a million funky pairs 🥺

23. DO YOU EVER DRIVE ABOVE THE SPEED LIMIT? don't drive

24. WHAT TERRIFIES YOU? i just woke up can we NOT

25. LOOK TO YOUR LEFT, WHAT DO YOU SEE? the door to my room

26. WHAT CHORE DO YOU HATE MOST? organizing my room, there's just too much SHIT between me and my sister plus i'm a pack rat

27. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT? my brain automatically starts copying lolol same with british accents

28. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SODA? coke or ginger ale

29. DO YOU GO IN A FAST FOOD PLACE OR JUST HIT THE DRIVE THRU? drive-thru. if we're already in the car might as well make it a shorter trip asdfghjkl

30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 7

31. WHO’S THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO? my sister just woke up and asked me what time it is

32. FAVORITE MEAT? chicken

33. LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? freaky girls- megan thee stallion feat. SZA

34. LAST BOOK YOU READ? been looking into a lot of 4th grade level books for work

35. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? friday night

36. CAN YOU SAY THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? nope

37. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE? don't drink it often, but even then its the sugary shit. like if someone's making a dunkin run then I'll ask for a medium caramel iced latte w/ whipped cream

38. FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES? i got this pair of combat boots and they are so 😩😩

39. TIME YOU NORMALLY GET UP? sometimes 8ish but mostly 11:30ish. i'm so grateful for sleeping in this semester

40. WHAT DO YOU PREFER, SUNRISE OR SUNSETS? i never get to see either my room doesn't have a window rip

41. HOW MANY BLANKETS ON YOUR BED? there's no central heating/cooling in my room & it's ESPECIALLY cold this year so i currently have THREE ethnic blankets asdfghjkl

42. DESCRIBE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES. @ desi diaspora kids, you know the white ones with the blue design around the edges? yeah THOSE.

43. DESCRIBE YOUR KITCHEN AT THE MOMENT. i took a break from these Qs & went down for water earlier, it looks fine? a couple dishes in the sink but w/e

44. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? nah i don't drink

45. DO YOU PLAY CARDS? as a kid but not anymore, i've learned how to play Uno a good 4-5 times at this point but i just forget :) every time :)

46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

47. CAN YOU CHANGE A TIRE? HAH no

48. YOUR FAVORITE STATE OR PROVINCE? unironically? punjab 💪🏼

49. FAVORITE JOB YOU’VE HAD? don't have one, they’ve all been okay

#tag game

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loseyoutoloveme · 4 years ago

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can you do a rundown/review of every song on folklore like you've done for selena? and what your current top 5 are??

considering this is officially one of my top 3 favourite albums ever i’m v happy to 😌! warning, absolutely every single song will be ranked 10/10

thank for wanting to know my thoughts :( i can’t believe anybody would volunteer to read this JDNSKSDJKDS

first of all, my top 5 is probbbbably gonna change (maybe not tho bc my lover top 5 hasn’t really changed a lot), but for now, i think it’s: august > seven > mad woman > illicit affairs > mirrorball

THE 1:

ngl my very first thought was that it reminded me of same love by macklemore skdjdskjdskjsd but not in a bad way!

literally some of the prettiest lyrics, i knew just from this song that this would top red as her best lyrically (best album in general)

honestly just rly sad and sweet and one of those songs that has such a universal sound i feel?

also the simplest song of the album lyrically (also not in a bad way, just like objectively this is the easiest subject matter on the album with the least opaque lyrics), so a really good opener

best lyrics: “we never painted by the numbers baby but we were making it count/you know the greatest loves of all time are over now” and “we were something don’t you think so/roaring twenties tossing pennies in the pool/and it my wishes came true it would’ve been you”

a cute girl, 10/10

CARDIGAN:

i was surprised by the darkish sound of this one

idk what that like clanking sound in the background is but i find it a lil distracting in the first half of the song - but if i ever find out what it is and it has some symbolic meaning/purpose for being there (i assume it does) i’ll accept it sdjknsd

i love the nostalgia that is so present in like almost every song on this album :(

also the music video is stunning and frames the entire album in the most interesting way, metaphor-wise

best lyrics: “i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss/knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs/the smell of smoke would hang around this long/cause i knew everything when i was young/i knew i’d curse you for the longest time/chasin’ shadows in the grocery line/i knew you’d miss me when the thrill expired/and you’d be standing in my front porch light/and i knew you’d come back to me”

10/10

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY:

love this one bc it’s like a nice lil exhale in an album filled with angst, like it’s cute and boppy without being aggressive

i’m suddenly absolutely obsessed with rebekah harkness, particularly the “bitch pack” thing and her dyeing someone’s dog green

i love taylor’s storytelling and i love how that’s always been a big part of her approach to songwriting. this is taylor at her best narration, like starlight but so much better. this is a type of songwriting that is so underused these days, esp by mainstream artists and i love so much that she has always used it and been so invested in it

the pronoun change made me screech. sooo goooood

taylor’s obv a deeply autobiographical artist which is why it’s so incredible to hear her tell OTHER people’s stories and somehow make them so her own. like i think it’s mostly the english major in me that just gets so emotional over that...... the way that other people’s stories became our own through the way we tell them......

this song is def the one that is most explicit about the album’s theme of telling stories but ones that tell something about her (and about her listeners too), by switching to personal pronouns at the end. it sets up a pattern for the rest of the album, where each song is about one thing (the actual story she’s telling) but also about a bunch of other things.

a good example of why she’s the greatest songwriter of this generation

best lyrics: “there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen/she had a marvelous time ruining everything”

10/10

EXILE:

bon iver’s voice was a full shock to the system the first time i listened and idk why sdkjnds it is just so deep and i was not at all expecting it esp after the cuteness of tlgad

anyway these lyrics are GORGEOUS

i love a duet where the 2 singers’ lyrics are meant to be directed at each other. is there a word for that type of duet idk but it always makes a duet infinitely better

the miscommunication exemplified in the bridge...... chef’s kiss heartbreaking

out of all the songs this is the one that makes me feel the most like i am in the middle of a forest in winter. i can already picture myself listening to this song in december with the sound of a crackling fire in the background mmmmmmmm my exact vibe

best lyrics: “you’re not my homeland anymore/so who am i defending now?/you were my town, now i’m in exile seeing you out” and “i’m not your problem anymore/so who am i offending now?”

10/10

MY TEARS RICOCHET:

this chorus BRRROOOOKE ME

writing songs presumably about the masters situation and framing them as breakup songs was absolutely galaxy brain

i feel like the image of tears ricocheting has like a million layers to it and is just suuuuch a smart metaphor

also just such a visually rich song ? so is every song on the album but the metaphors of this song are all just so visual

best lyrics: “i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace/and you’re the hero flying around saving face/and if i’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” and “i can go anywhere i want/anywhere i want, just not home”

10/10

MIRRORBALL:

ok so i did like this one on first listen, i loved absolutely everything on first listen, but it didn’t hit my top 5 until like 8 listens later, so it’s def a big grower and i think could be a huge fan fav by next year

the self-awareness in her writing will never fail to amaze me

the way that life is just performing...... yeah

but it’s crazy to me that a person could be like “i’m a compulsive people pleaser and performer and i’ll do anything to get ppl to like me” and that leads to “i am a disco ball” like ???? her brain is so big. it’s such a gorgeous metaphor.... and the circus imagery AHHHHH

best lyrics: “i’m still on that tightrope/i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me/i’m still a believer but i don’t know why/i’ve never been a natural, all i do is try try try/i’m still on that trapeze/i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me” and “i can change everything about me to fit in”

10000/10

SEVEN:

this one simply rips my heart out

at first i was like oh this is so weird and then the chorus just would not leave my head

for me personally, nostalgia is literally 90% of my personality and just for so many personal reasons the thought of childhood ending and all of the growing pains that come along with that have been at the forefront of my psyche for the past year. so it just kills me whenever i find a song like this one and it kills me that taylor specifically has several songs about this topic and this is 100000% the best of them all. like it’s the most beautiful experience to have your thoughts and feelings and fears expressed so perfectly by a total stranger, and that’s rly what art is about and i love taylor for doing that for me and millions of other people

i just feel like this song brings up so many vivid beautiful memories of childhood for so many people, like being outside in the summer and screaming and being free. ugh

the pause after “i hit my peak at seven” before completing the phrase........ OOOOOOOOOF IT HITS TOO HARD

and sound-wise, just so off-beat and cool and unique

best lyrics: “i hit my peek at seven/feet in the swing across the creek” and “are there still beautiful things?” and “love you to the moon and to saturn/passed down like folk songs/the love lasts so long” and “before i learned civility/i used to scream ferociously/any time i wanted”

100000000000/10

AUGUST:

i knew immediately that this would be my favourite tbh like i could sense it the second it began

i wrote my first impression thoughts in my journal and you can tell the exact moment i got to the bridge bc i just started screaming sdnjksdkjsdn

i would 100% get a tattoo that said “to live for the hope of it all”

everything about this song is LITERALLY flawless like i have.......no notes......no thoughts.......it’s just an absolutely perfect song

best lyrics: “back when we were still changing for the better/wanting for was enough/for me it was enough/to live for the hope of it all" and “august sipped away like a bottle of wine/cause you were never mine”

100000000000000000000000000/10

THIS IS ME TRYING:

this song is rly good but i keep forgetting it exists omg :/ once i learn all of the lyrics i’ll appreciate her more

the strings are gorgeous

i was rly surprised that this one was done with jack instead of aaron just bc the bridge of this sounds SOOOO the national

these lyrics could be interpreted in so many different ways depending on the listener’s experiences and that’s beautiful

best lyrics: “i was so ahead of the curve/the curve became a sphere/fell behind all my classmates and i ended up here” and “it’s hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound/it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you/you’re a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town”

10/10

ILLICIT AFFAIRS:

that soft high note on “down,” “stop,” etc is sooooo nice

i don’t have many thoughts on it, it’s just so soft, SOOOOOO gorgeous instrumentally and lyrically

best lyrics: “it’s born from just one single glance/but it dies and it dies and it dies/a million little times” and “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colours you know i can’t see with anyone else” and “you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else/and you know damn well/for you i would ruin myself/a million little times”

100000/10

INVISIBLE STRING:

like i said about tlgad, this is a nice little break from all the angst and pain and anger sdnjksdnskjsd just a sweet little break to remind u there are good things in the world too. so placed really well in the tracklist imo

super super super super cute chorus

so many pretty melodies

absolutely an autumn song btw

best lyrics: “time, mystical time/cutting me open, then healing me fine”

10/10

MAD WOMAN:

i literally lost my mind listening to this for the first time

i have such a thing for scorned women anthems like i will immediately love it whatever it is

the pure rage when she says “cause you took everything from me” gives me full body chills

it is just so eerie and haunting and perfect

best lyrics: “women like hunting witches too/doing your dirtiest work for you/it’s obvious that wanting me dead/has really brought you two together” and “every time you call me crazy i get more crazy/what about that?” and “good wives always know/she should be mad, should be scathing like me/but no one like a man woman”

1000000/10

EPIPHANY:

i find this one so hard to listen to but it’s absolutely beautiful and devastating and so heavily relevant for i think the whole world rn

the heart monitor and the trumpets tying both of the topics in together is so genius and so heartbreaking

i think will be the sygb of folklore where it makes everybody cry so much that it becomes a skip despite being a beautiful song

best lyrics: “something med school did not cover/someone’s daughter, someone’s mother” and “some things you just can’t speak about”

10/10

BETTY:

first of all THE HARMONICA

this made me so happy bc it’s just so debut and so fearless and it made me SOOOOO nostalgic on my first listen, because it really felt to me like i was getting to listen to a song from debut or fearless for the very first time again

it’s just so sweet and cute and simple and yet another very self-aware moment of looking back to her past material/subject matter

best lyrics: “would you have me? would you want me?/would you tell me to go fuck myself/or lead me to the garden?” and “i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything/but i know i miss you”

10/10

PEACE:

the bass at the beginning is soooooo nice

this miiiiiight be the strongest song on the album lyrics-wise but idk yet

not much to say, it’s just so gorgeous

best lyrics: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm/if your cascade ocean wave blues come/all these people think love’s for show/but i would die for you in secret” and “would it be enough if i could never give you peace?” and “i talk shit with my friends, it’s like i’m wasting your honour”

10/10

HOAX:

i have a feeling this one will be underrated/underappreciated bc it’s just simple and dark and the last song, but this is....... a lyrical masterpiece

i feel like i need to be playing this on vinyl with all of the lights off and just a candle burning yknow, like there’s just something so dark and ancient about it

best lyrics: “my winless fight/this has frozen my ground” and “your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in/don’t want no other shade of blue but you/no other sadness in the world would do” and “you knew it still hurt underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark/darling this was just as hard”

10/10

OVERALL: 10000000000/10 literally one of the best albums i have ever heard and (while i wouldn’t put it past her to top it) absolutely the best work of her career. so complex and layered and emotional and painful and genuine and different. not to get ahead of myself but this is/should be considered her blue, her rumours, her abbey road....... god. can’t wait to listen to this album for the rest of my life and play it for my future children and just watch it live on as the greatest work of one of the most important artists of the 21st century

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convervative-blog · 6 years ago

Text

essay preparation, Conservative Judaism: Our Ancestors To Our Descendants by Elliot M. Dorff

alright buds gonna go thru this book, theres chapters and then like essay questions, so im here reading the chapters then answering the essay questions. im fucken ignorant as shit so this is all my stupid opinions that im still developing and it might change as i learn more idk. enjoy, lots of surprise-zionism in here skip if thats not ur thing

I. yes services start early morning we do prelims then shacharit torah & musaf then kiddush congregants range in ages from young to elderly (predominantly older tho) and in observance from super frum (ok like 5 of us lol) to basically secular & very pluralistic no one cares, very close-knit, "maritime personality disorder" very evident, love it

II. never studied at yeshiva or went to hebrew school, looking into doing so (u know when), actually the reason i picked up this book, im inherently drawn to like childrens resources (this is a highschool level book but u get it) bc as an adult i missed out on jewish child education, so im drawn to childrens resources to "learn from the start" so to speak

III. parents are gentiles, no jewish identity really, grandma resolutely denied being a jew though got 'mistaken' for one almost daily due to last name and appearance, 'corrected' people constantly, got bullied for it (i say grandma but its still patrilineal dont @ me), she didnt know anything about judaism and was frequently antisemitic and firmly catholic

IV. conservative judaism means that halachic rules are binding but that they should and must be interpreted via the lens of the society in which we live, in order to reduce suffering and increase overall observance (e.g. women, lgbt+, accessibility), conservative judaism also means an affordance of leniency in individualistic expressions of obligatory mitzvot

V. emancipation occurred from 1776-1880, within western europe (france holland england) during the rise of nationalism jews were considered naturalized citizens of their respective countries & not foreign outliers, allowed to serve in army etc but had negative impact bc jews at the time began to lose their jewish identity whilst adopting goyische practices (ref. assimilation)

VI. absolutely and i fully intend on making aliyah, learning and speaking hebrew is nourishing for my soul, its an internal secret of mine that “magneto was right” u know, “does mainstreaming work?” and like, i say this not bc i believe jews should be separate (or even that jews should immigrate to israel) but in the interest of jewish protection and continuation, is mainstreaming going to contribute to jewish protection and continuation? mainstreaming needs to include existence. u cant mainstream two groups if one group is only accepted when they dont exist as themselves. “jews and gentiles can exist together! but u better show up to work on yom kippur.” jews deserve self-determination and to have the opportunity to live in their homeland which is the only safe place on earth for jews to publicly and fully express their judaism, to go to a school where they can safely and publicly express their judaism, to go to a synagogue where they can safely and publicly express their judaism, to go to a job where they can safely and publicly express their judaism. u tell me where that is, is it where u live? thats the downfall of mainstreaming, bc sure jews can assimilate but what u see is that ppl who arent jews will only interact with them if they renounce their judaism. sure u want to say jews and goyim living side by side respecting one anothers practices is the ideal, absolutely im "pro mainstreaming" for those ideals, but be practical! that shit aint never gonna happen, dont sacrifice yourself and ur family and ur friends for an academic concept that has never manifested itself in reality

VII. the advent of secularism! secularism is super appealing. movies! tv! books! music. mixed dancing as it were. all the things considered heretical bc they could curse g-d, but appealing on a neurological level. who doesnt wanna sit down and binge drop dead diva for 9 hours, its not me buds. so ofc many orthodox peeps would be drawn to it, but in the interest of maintaining their practices and beliefs, new movements would necessarily sprout up in response

VIII. assimilation occurred bc the advent of secularism drew alot of observant jews away from their practices and subsequently their identities, it was more appealing to be a citizen (a "german" not a "jew") bc it afforded them rights and privileges and goys would interact w them on an equal level, as long as they didnt express being jewish too much, or used their jewishness in a self-deprecating kind of way (alot of jewish comics got famous like this, ppl love listening to jews self-deprecate and in a downward shifting economy u gotta get it where u can get it)

IX. the differences between halacha in orthodox judaism and reform judaism? oh boy well today, because reform judaism looked totally different in the 1800s guys (most american jews were reform, which is why american jewish culture was so radically separate from european jewish culture and far more secular), but at the core orthodoxy believes halacha as it was written and interpreted (and as it continues to be interpreted and debated) is binding, no ifs ands or buts. u can find reasons why things can and cant be done but its always within the established halacha. reform judaism doesnt consider halacha binding but essentially “refers” to it as they develop their individual practices (”im a woman but im not gonna cover my hair if i get married bc blah blah blah” might be a reform opinion, its deciding not to follow the law, but its still referencing the law) and is exponentially more concerned with the idea of jewish peoplehood, identity, nationality, history, outside the world of torah. (yes? no? this is all shit i was spoonfed by 1 guy so like?)

X. im writing a fucken essay on this man. need to chill out and condense. get my opinions in order. orthodoxy is appealing bc most ppl will believe the same shit u do and put the same weight on it, conservatism is more pluralistic/individualistic, definitely more secular, even tho i wholeheartedly agree with this & practice it in my life, the art of letting people do their own shit without judging them, the art of welcoming ppl into ur space despite their diverging belief systems, just: sometimes u can feel kind of silly when u know ppl probably dont take as literal interpretations as u do. strengths of reform individualism, pluralism, activism, diversity, influx of new opinions/thoughts, ppl talk to me about this i know very little about reform judaism dont get mad at me pls. weaknesses uhhhhhh lol am i gonna go there on tumblr.com 2day... weaknesses i guess would be that its not taken as seriously by outsiders? is that acceptable/right?

endin here for now!

#op #orthodox #reform #conservative judaism #conversion #judaism #theology #israel #zionism

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prcmctheus · 6 years ago

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beep beep y’all ur resident dumpster dweller kay here in action and ready 2 introduce u all to my Fave Boy misha who uhHHhh p much has rbf and a Thicc ukrainian accent. will this contain anything of substance other than immense rambling ?? whO KNOWS but we’ll go on this journey together but feel free to drop a like if u wanna plot and i’ll pop over to ur dm’s !!

potential triggers: death + mob activity

! ✰ ° — [ CHRIS PINE, CISMALE, HE/HIM ] mykhailo “misha” chernenko, aka agent prometheus is a thirty-five year old tactical agent that has been loyal to mercy twelve years. during that time they were injected with the gamma serum and earned regenerative healing they have a reputation of being the sagacious because they can be pragmatic & diligent. but let’s not forget they’re pretty acerbic & reticent. if you listen closely you can hear another one bites the dust by queen whenever they walk past.

okie to start off ya boy was brought into the world as михайло оландрович черненко ( aka mykhailo oleksandrovych chernenko ) but typically goes by the nickname of misha bc it’s easier and was born in kharkiv, ukraine ,,, he is a proud ukrainian and v much dislikes being deemed a russian ,, don’t do him dirty y’all . . it’s a struggle and one he will never forget n have u on his shit list ,, especially since his accent is still Thicc so any jokes will get u a side eye

his father oleksandr had strong nationalistic views , especially so when ukraine was still under soviet control and following the death of his first wife yulia ( they were visiting her family in moscow when she was caught in the crossfire of russian mob activity on her way home from the store and ultimately died from gunshot wounds ) he became heavily involved anti-russia groups back in ukraine

in 1983 when misha was born, he uHHhhHHhh wasn’t really wanted per say ?? like ,, his dad was hooking up with his mother kateryna and it was a surprise to them both that kateryna was pregnant ?? so oleksandr did the noble thing ( arguable bc he ain’t so noble ) and put a ring on her ,, mainly bc it was expected and kateryna gave him hell so u go kateryna

misha’s childhood wasn’t the best considering his parents argued more than they got along and kateryna really despised her husband from his life of crime ?? definitely didn’t agree with his ties to the ukrainian mob bc of the threat it brought to the family and especially the dirty money so she often put her sewing skills to use and made little of her own money ,, then wOP ,, four years down the line kateryna surprises oleksandr with the fact that she’s pregnant again but this time it ends up being a daughter that they name nadezhda but call nadia

it was an odd thing for misha bc for as harsh and distant as his father was to him, he had put him on this pedestal with a strong sense of idealism of what his father was like if he managed to do something to make him proud ,, despite not fully knowing in depth what his father did in the mob ( aka not good things like murder, drug trafficking and human trafficking ) so essentially that became misha’s goal in his v young life ,, he mimicked his father’s anti-russian views and showed interest in what he did for a living ,, rip 2 misha’s mom bc she nearly had a heart attack when she heard her son acting like everything she didn't want him to end up being

but with kateryna’s dismay came the affection from his father that misha had so desperately wanted and it became some weird take ur child to work day thing ,, this started when misha was around 6 years old and lasted up until he was 13 ( for reasons i’ll get into soon jndsjksd ) where oleksandr would often bring misha after school or even take him our during school ,, as some weird initiation thing of another generation of chernenko dedicating themselves to the cause of ukrainian independence

misha himself is an intelligent boy with a quick witted mind and ability to retain information and was quick to pick up on the russian language around him in kharkiv as well english ,, generally v good at learning languages and i just !!! get a lil emo thinking about the life misha could have had bc of his smarts if he didn’t get himself involved in this spy shit

his father finds it useful to start teaching misha how to properly fight bc #fambonding am i rite ,, also bc oleksandr is a shite dad who was gonna bring misha along to some attack they were planning near the russian border from tensions between the ukrainian mob n the russian mob that was starting to infiltrate in ,, just dudes being dudes n getting territorial

let’s pray 4 kateryna when she finds out bc it’s when misha is 13 and tags along with his father to this smackdown which ?? ukraine is independent at this point by 5 years so oleksandr is trash n still chilling with the mob and when shit hits the fan and long story short, oleksandr ( along with many others ) gets killed, misha ends up severely hurt and it’s not a good time ,, but things shift bc when misha comes to he’s in a hospital bed and o shIT ,, he’s chilling with the security service of ukraine which deals with counterintelligence activity and terrorism

chilling ain’t really the term but yA KNOW ,, turns out they’ve been keeping eyes on the mob movements and misha attracted the attention of ukrainian intelligence “offered” him a role as a spy with the promise of training and serving his country proudly ,, u know ,, offered is in quotes bc hoe didn’t really have a choice but it wasn’t a hard choice bc misha was eager to help out his homeland

he didn’t officially go out into the field until he was 17 bc of extensive training in combat and espionage to help defend the still young foundation of the ukrainian government especially since it was rocky from the poor economic conditions ,, and after proving both his worth and abilities in several missions, he was activated as a sleeper agent in the russian government to get a hold of information regarding russian intelligence ,, more importantly such impacting ukraine

ya boy excelled in his position, given it wasn’t the most exciting bc it involved a lot of blending in and upholding this russian persona ,, gone was mykhailo chernenko for those three years up until he was 23 since he went by the alias of konstantin vasiliev ,, and he did well !! as someone who excelled in linguistics, his was v fluent in the russian language with a believable accent to match ( one of his best qualities in his ability to take on accents easily and rn he’s fluent in french, german, italian and spanish outside of his ukrainian, russian, and english )

things went well for the three years acting as a secretary for a high ranking russian government official and uh,, u know it helped that misha was attractive and knew how to use it to his advantage and successfully infiltrated into classified information since his superior viewed misha as just a pretty face with minimal understanding of how politics worked ,, meanwhile he was the one who spilled shit during sex so who was the real weenie

due to unfortunate events, misha’s cover was blown and barely made it out of russia alive and it was around his 23rd/24th that mercy got into contact with him and for as much as misha loved his country, he figured for his own safety it would be best to leave the area since lowkey the russian government still had it out for him ,, so he joined the mercy division as a field agent and AGENT PROMETHEUS was born ,, a couple of years into it he was convicted into taking the gamma serum which gave him regenerative healing which helps out v much when he gets shot at or generally hurt

so yeah p much ya boy has been chilling at mercy as a field agent for eleven years and generally enjoying his time here given things can’t ever really get normal as a spy ,, but it was last year that bc of numerous influences, misha decided to accept the offer of joining the tactical agents and retire his days as a field agent.

personality wise ,, misha is v devoted to his job and does this hoe ever genuinely laugh or smile ?? who knows ,, i think there’s a rumor somewhere that he’s actually a robot. def gives into the slavic stereotype where ukrainian’s never smile ,, not to mention his father ingrained into him the ukrainian saying of Сміх без причини є ознакою тупості aka “laughter without a reason is a sign of stupidity” soooOOoo he’s just a bit stoic and has resting bitch face

doesn’t really realize he’s v blunt and forthright in his speak so he can come off as an asshole ( which 67% of the time he doesn’t mean ) ,, has the patience of a saint but if u push hard enough he’ll crack ,, a bit dry on the humor but can def be an asshole when he wants to. doesn’t trust a lot of ppl and it’s hard to earn his trust ,, word the only major ppl he’s trusted was a) his dad b) the security service of ukraine and c) now mercy so kudos on getting on his good side

has no contact whatsoever with his mother kateryna or his sister nadia ,, partially bc couldn’t keep up for security n safety reasons but also bc misha is p much dead to kateryna after following his father’s footsteps, getting involved in the whole mess of ukrainian / russian political n governmental affairs and also dropping his v tiny attempt of college before becoming a sleeper agent for ukraine ,, so ya boy is on his own so u can expect wALLS around him ,, bc u know ,, he don’t do emotional vulnerability or relationships

#mhq.intro #if all goes well and i am .. not dumb fjdnsj then this posts while im out to dinner #luv me and my goblin son

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freshfromthegraveyard · 7 years ago

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Bullying.

Super random.

As a kid who was bullied less by other students and more so by teachers.

I was bullied for my brain not matching my exterior. Being an embassy brat, when I came to the US for school I often was and still act like a foreigner in my own country. But I am a blonde white girl. So this was never well received. Not grasping certain things was seen as an act, or attention seeking. If I had the nerve to correct a teacher on something about a country I lived in. I was shot down in a publicly humiliating manor to ensure I knew my place. If I looked like someone from that country I gurantee they would have actually opened up the floor for me to discuss my homeland.

When I did start gaining weight due to an emotional trigger. I did still for some reason always maintain confidence in other areas. Like I knew I was getting chubby and fatter. But was like meh, whatever I'm still smart, funny and can draw. Heck I'm still a beast in PE. Running sucks but I can still do other shit. So I wasn't always picked last. I still had friends. If my weight was mocked I kind of got it and was like yah I did get fat but I can loose it. I was always active so it was never hard to lose a lil chub. Sadly I did go way past chub into super fat town and man losing that shit was hard and daunting. Still was the same me no matter what school I went to. Still made friends.

The only people I got super offended by when they made fun of my weight was the teachers. Because again, your an Adult picking on a kid. That is a low blow a cheap shot. Remarkably my bad grades have nothing to do with being fat. I don't go home and be like oh donuts well no time for school work. I will always have a learning disability, and a massive sleep disorder. Meds do help. I hate being one of THOSE people who fall under the excuses department but it is like night and day. It is not as simple as stfu and pay attention. I even got mad at myself thinking I was dumb because of this. Like yup, those honors classes you take now are just because of the meds. Your actually an idiot. Why do you take those AND a special class, why do you still take your tests in the library or have to read in total silence? Your dumb that's why! So I went off my meds to prove a point. The point wound up being my grades dropped and everything was so much more of a struggle. The stress was awful. It was the stupidest thing I could have done to myself. But just in case other generations feel that learning disabilities are cop outs. Please know. They aren't. Infact some people get tested for adult learning disabilities and it changes their lives.

Anyway, on back to bullying.

At one school, when I was first gaining the weight. I still had friends. I was still given the frog eye because of my white girl forgienerism, thankfully at that time I was in a private school and the teachers did not bully me about it because new flash private schools get military brats. Though I always had to write papers on countries I hadn't been to. Good call actually.

But here is the kicker. Though my bullying did not really start until public schools. Again I cannot stress enough that what was done by teachers was far more damaging then anything some kid could say.

I did, possibly unlike some bullied.

I always noticed who else was bullied.

I'm an odd lil bird in that, while I could be entirely self absorbed and be all about me. I remember who and why other kids for bullied.

I bet most people will think since I got bullied for being plump I only root for body positivity of the plump sort. You couldn't be more wrong.

The ONE person who had it the worst at the private school, was a tall lanky girl. She wanted the same thing all us girls wanted. To be like the cool girls at the time. She was thin due to her incredible metabolism, and her height, she was shy, and due to being made stand out, only getting shier. She was one of the first people I remember talking on my first day of school other then Rosemary a girl who just was genuinely cute and nice. I've yet to meet a Rosemary who wasn't. I get a whisper from a fellow student not to talk to this thin girl too much. I'm like.....why? Their like, well she's just kind of strange. I'm like, I'm new, so logically I'm gonna be the resident strange kid for a while. But how is she strange exactly. She just seems quite. Their like exactly. I'm like, 11 and confused af. I'm like, wait why is being quite weird in a bad way? Before I could spit most of that out the teacher agree on my suggestion of being quite. Being a embassy brat, I had NO probably striking up new convos with perfect strangers. Ie kids at a school I just met. Before the hell that was HS. I was anything BUT shy. When you move around a lot you need to make friends fast. That and I was born not giving a shit and thinking I was the shit. Before the weight gain I assure you I was cute as hell with attitude to spare. So I was not entirely wrong.

I didn't let this why is silent bad thing go. I still talked to this mysterious thin girl. I sat with her at lunch. Prior to that I kept asking why her just being quite was bad. They said it just made them uncomfortable. I did ask the obvious of did it ever occur to you guys that you treating her weird makes her silent. Their like no she came that way. I couldn't argue because a lot of these kids did know eachother since kindergarten so ya know. They maybe right even if it is wrong. In case you have not guessed. Being raised an only kid, overseas you have bennies of being treated like an adult and being more logical then a kid the same age. Hence why I sound more adult in this story cuz I always was even if I still enjoyed childish endeavors *Like I still do*

Here is the heart breaker. The thin girl at lunch enjoyed my company. I made her laugh a lot that day and got her talking *novel concept when you reach out to someone* at the end of lunch though. She said, this was nice but ya know you shouldn't really hang around me the other kids will black ball you. I'm like yeah, I don't care. She's like no, you should. I appreciate it, but another group has tried and the other kids make life hard on them. I'm like well I extra don't care. I said your kind of in luck. I don't stay at schools very long so by the time they do that to me I will probably be moving. Plus being the new kid I will be resident weirdo for a while. I can play dumb for a long time and befriend the black balled.

I told her which, I don't get why. I said, being shy is the last reason someone should be pushed aside. Granted it took me a few times to get you to talk BUT I gotcha damnit *swearing in Catholic school woot* *at a whisper less woot*

So I made friends, with the very group she spoke of who had made efforts to friend her. I also was friends with other groups. Including 2 class clowns, 2 twin black girls who too me for forever to realize they were twins. I had one jerk kid who ironically was a pretty chubby dude to be so judgy about me being a chubby chick. But I still was friends with thin girl be damned. Needed a book shared in class and no one would share with her. ME! And don't be fooled our one class clown never had a homework buddy because surprise ppl thought he couldn't be serious. ME! I think the funniest thing that happened at that school was rainy day recess where class was divided up for games. Started up with normal dictionary teams. Then Okay Megan is really good at this, let's pair her with the one person who isn't. Okay still really good at this both drawing and guessing. Let's make the team's be class vs Megan. It's only fair. Sorry it still amuses me. My one glory day.

Back to bullying.

Though at the private school, bullying was far minimal. and kids really had to be imaginative. Since we all wore uniforms. Kids had to be like, well they make us laugh, but he's probably not serious about his hw. Woo. Wow. Lame. She's too quite. So lame. She's too smart. All of these are so damn lame. And let's face it none are bad qualities. Sorry the kid finds hw boring and is a quick whit. You actually have to be smart to be fast in humor. She's quite. So she's reserved and actually nice if you reach out. Your only too smart if you can't use your book sense.

Now, public school. Girl was made fun of for being too thin, having the nerve to go through puberty *ie acne* and also was very shy, if not stand offish, not dressing nice enough. If anything, id say she tried to look her worst regardless of what students said. I could go on about warning signs this child had. My mom caught them instantly. Did the school? NO

Turns out she was being molested by her stepdad. Like, srsly. My mom met her once and got it. Oy. So sad. I have a lot of guilt for not being able to communicate better with her though.

Anyway, another girl, got made fun of for having big boobs which she hated especially during PE. I don't blame her.

Yet another girl made fun of for being too thin. She was petite and had all brothers. So she was small and mean.

Another girl was shaped more like a guy and strong. She excelled in some PE sports but still made fun of.

Guys, same deal. If they had curly hair that's a pain to style. Chubby but not good at sports. And idky other kids care if you are good at grades or not? Like, we all have the same hw if you can spell congrats. Some ppl have dyslexia so ya know kindly fuck off.

Why does a grade make you popular or not?

It's odd to me. It's like, you need to get good grades but not TOO GOOD cuz then your too smart and it's also weird. Public school bullying. Lawd have mercy. Talk about a new level of awful.

Again, I was attacked publically by teachers. Who decided I was infact fat and stupid and somehow cheating at art?

I had art taken away from me as it was a distraction. Since I was bad at reading out loud all of my work was to be delivered in this fashion. I corrected a teacher on some foreign affairs, as he got locations, pronunciation, law, and well just a fucking lot wrong about a country I lived in for so long. I held myself back on so much but it was like he was getting everything confused with an entirely different country. For one thing he was still mentioning a city by it's old name. Like omg update

your book man!!! When I finally sad something he blew a stack and made sure everyone in the class was aware of how fat and ignorant I was.

When I told my parents. Boy did they come undone. At the parent teacher conference this same teacher said "if Megan would put down the donuts and study this wouldn't be an issue" yah my dad pinned him to a wall by his neck. Mind you this was after he had already

Made repeated digs at me, my family, and pretty much anything we could stand for. My parents also made the argument that if a student was a concert pianist or a ballet dancer. Would they take away their craft? No. So why take away my art? Both piano and ballet are considered art. Needless to say this battle of the teachers vs parents and all the horrible things they said and did was not over. Two shrinks were involved, and the state was called in. Their shrink and our shrink. The shrinks wound up agreeing and asked the state to come in for a learning disability test. Hence me first getting diagnosed. The shrinks also needed the teachers to understand something. They brought my mom in, since the one teacher now feared my father *not that my mom couldn't take him* the teachers sat down, the shrinks showed them pics of me thin and active and the dates. They show me chubby then thin again due to being an active kid. They then ask when my recent weight gain started. My mom didn't even hesitate she just took off her wig from cancer to reveal her bald head and said about when this happened. She said she was studying to finalize some culinary school work at a local college. She said she knows her daughter felt food was an emotional way to be close to her. My shrink said. Sometimes fat is better then too thin. You can lose fat. You can't undo the damages of too thin if bulimia sets in.

So you'd think the teachers would back off. Ha. No. That one male teacher persisted that everyone has problems and I needed to suck it up. I was now all of 12. He loved making fun of me. I also noticed, though I was his favorite to pick on. I was not alone. He hated anyone who could not read out loud flawlessly. He hated anyone who was not athletic and bragged about his triathlons to this day I get an eye tick around the word. Friend of mine was a solid A student. Read flawlessly outloud. But guess what she had some small kid pudge on her. The second her history teacher went into his class. There goes her straight As. She got a B- in his class. Never on tests with multiple choice, just written work and general performance. Ya know subjective stuff. Not shady at all. Mom got wind and had enough. She sat in his class one day. In my friends class no less. Not mine on purpose. She sat their and made fun of him the way he did us. She's like hey kids, I know this guy makes fun of all the students. Let's make fun of him the same way. Isn't he kind of short? Like really short. I met his wife, he must use a step ladder to kiss her. He's also bald. Notice how he only keeps pictures of himself in tight triathlon clothes or old pics with long hair. Think he's compensating for something?? Who keeps pics of themselves on their desk!?! My husband has his family. Self centered much?

And what's with those triathlons anyway?

We notice you hate fatties. Were you a fatty? Do you run from calories? Did a fatty break your heart? What is it? Why do you hate them So? She's like, actually, it doesn't matter. Whatever your problem is it should not be taken out on children. My mom continued. She's like, ya know why he picks on you kids. One your the only people smaller then him. Two he is to cowardly to stand up to other adults. My husband pinned him against a wall and his eyes nearly popped out of his head from terror. Yeah. All talk this little fart. He obviously was livid talking over her saying she can't do this, he's calling the cops for trespassing.

Apparently when she opened the room up to the kids to pick at him they had a bunch of weird shit they noticed he does. One kid said he's just jealous because everyone likes his wife as a teacher better. That's why he made her stay home with the kids or keep having a kid. She's like everyone liked her? Whole room was like best teacher award every year!

Lol this dude didn't speak for days he was just fuming. It got better when, guess what my mom met his wife and put on her best cute, sweet innocent lady routine. I remember walking to our truck, douche teacher behind me. *cuz of course I had to stay after in his class for some kind of punishment*

His wife was all smiles at my mom, looked over at him with such a look. My mom had an evil smile looking at him like. Checkmate mother fucker. I sat in the truck, waiting for her. Dressed daper. Smiling. She sets behind the wheel, we drive off. She's like well we tried the proper channels first. He made me play dirty but I assure you the war is over.

So, turns out, his wife was a loved teacher BECAUSE she had a lot of patience for her students and taught both standard and kids with learning disabilities. So to say she was understanding is an understatement. I mean, my mom didn't know this when speaking to her. It was actually a whim, when she saw her while waiting to pick me up and just got to talking.

Anyway, the point of this INSANELY long post.

Is as a kid that was not so much bullied by peers as much as by teachers. I also was not always bullied about my weight as much as just being considered an attention seeking liar THEN my intelligence and weight was thrown in for extra damage.

It is true, the book by its cover. I am still a foreigner in a American white girl body. I still have some wires crossed. I still don't know all customs or referrences. My spelling is bad. My accent isnt. Family was 2 people. My perspective is Global. Africa, Asia, an American Farm is my background.

Bullying, just cuz I got fat. Doesn't mean I didn't see the people who got made fun of for being too thin. Before I stopped struggling in school. I noticed kids got bullied for their grades. As if the school and parents are not going to add enough pressure. If you have a talent that is not a sport or a musical instrument. You are not of value. Which is funny in a society that worships actors and models. All of whom rarely look a thin like they look like now in school.

There have been a lot of school shootings over the years. I remember when Columbine happened.

Remember early on in my status of the thin girl? Regardless of people telling me again and again that I would be some social pyria for being nice to her. I still did it. Over and over. I did more to make myself look stupid then she ever could have. Nothing ever happened to me because of her. Even if it had. I wouldn't have cared. Because I had a friend in her. We would at least be weirdos together was my logic.

If you make the effort. More then once. Because some shells are really hard to crack. Because some people have been hurt a lot. At least you tried. In COLLEGE none the less. My roommate and I met quite possibly the most socially awkward creature alive. We tried repeatedly to make friends or at least make peace with this creature. To no damn ivale. Senior yr this person asked me why no one likes them. I told them that wasn't fair because we all have made efforts to involve them in groups, shinnangans, hang out, we even through JUST them a birthday party. We have all made the effort. It's a two way street. I said basically you want friends like robots. You want us to turn on when you want us and power down in an instant when you are done with us and offer nothing in return. You also cannot be rude to ppl and expect forgiveness when there is really no foundation or trust built. We can say honest things because we know that friend is a friend and is sincere and cares for our best interest. You tend to think blurting out something offensive saying no offensive it's just my opinion and smiling is some how okay. It's just awkward.

So in that particular occassion. 4 years. My friend and I, as well as others. Genuinely tried to make friends or something with this person. Some people just want or view friendship differently. They may find a perfect fit later who is not you. But DAMNIT you tried. With bullying I just want people to reach out.

And if you see someone IN THE PROCESS of being bullied. Get off your ass and intervene.

Believe it or not, confusion is a great tactic.

Say 3 ppl are picking on a kid at lunch in your school. You could approach and interupt. You do not have to get personal. If they pick on you next. Point that out. Like what tools they are that that is all they can do. Bring friends over to help break it up. Honestly when I say confusion is a great weapon I mean it. Make up gibberish and start talking like that. Speak another language the bullies won't know. Anything that will just frustrate them and make them leave. Essentially your goal is to not engage with them, be as annoying as possible and make them leave. Another strategy is to be as agreeable as possible, so sickeningly friendly that they also lose their momentum. Gauge your situation, the energy and see which would work best. They sound absurd but diffusing a situation is far better.

The key is, don't sit by and let someone suffer.

Don't join in. Also guess what. As juicey and fun as gossip seems especially in school. Guess what, it's usually lies and incredibly harmful. If you partake you are an accessory to bullying. Shocking I know.

Learning how stop gossip in it's tracks when you are young is a great life lesson.

Sadly you will run into gossip at all stages of life. So stopping it, ...as best you can. When your young. Can safe a life!

The thing about gossip. If people don't have good dirt on someone, they will make shit up. Movies like Mean Girls and Easy A point this out. I've heard gossip about myself or friends and some is almost laughable how ridiculous it is. But going up to someone and being like hey is it true this that or the other. Or treating them different all of a sudden. As if we also don't hear the whispers.

Gossip is just a form of bullying. So think about it as being an accessory to a crime. It is equally as serious. Like a crime, you have the power to stop it.

So many people talk of the mass shootings, what about the kids who are as young as 8 taking their own lives due to bullying.

I really cannot stress enough, to please, if you see someone being bullied. Help that victim in the moment. Step in, bring back up. Be confusing. Be nice. Be whatever it takes to save a life or lives.

Also it is clear the bullying is caused from something. Usually bullies are being bullied themselves or have some sort of problem.

I remember reading one story of a bully who came unhinged over the smallest thing. Would lie in wait and actually burned another child with scalding hot water. Now that story was a case for mental illness. Which brings me to a situation. If a person is a bully and being bullied by someone else. Like another sibling, a parent, or so forth. That is rough because really not everyone can afford counseling which is what that would require. Next if someone is displaying violence due to a mental illness that too would require counseling, psychiatric and possibly medication down the road. All expensive.

It's not fair that mental healthcare of any kind is a luxury. When no one chooses to have mental health issues. Most insurance companies only allow so many visits. Not nearly enough to scratch the surface of a garden much less the human mind. Plus if medication was involved, that is such an arguous process. Any mental health medication is a huge battle of trial and error and all medications take a while to get into your system. For one to be properly judged for mental health, has to be in your system long enough for you to have had your moods elevated. Essentially were you challenged at all in 6 months time? Did you have a reason to get angry, or be depressed. Anything to trigger mood swings to see how the medication altered your brains reaction.

I mean damn. That is a lot to wait for, and rarely does the first shoe fit.

After working in a local ER. I realized how sad, and how many holes are in our health care system. How long people have to wait to see anyone. How long for a room to become available. How short your treatment is.

At the same turn. When you come across none feeling bullies. The type they tell young kids to kill themselves. That hound them every day and night. Stalk them on any outlet they can find. Because they have nothing better to do then bring one person misery. When do they become accountable?

I do believe some bullies need help to stop the cycle. I also believe some have shown signs that they live a charmed life, are not bullied themselves and show no signs of a mental illness. They have admitted to just being board. *maybe the mental illness is in the path family ;>_>*

Anyway, for those few bullies that qualify. I just wonder if they should be held accountable for say a wrongful death. If the person they taunted or catfished killed themselves.

I often think that because bullying has no consequences that that is why it continues.

That if it had something truly scary to face. Maybe then kids would cut the shit.

We all know, those who have been bullied. That if you talk to an authority figure. Absolutely NOTHING happens. You still get bullied.

ladies. Hahaha isn't that rich?

And what of those rare occasions where those teachers where beaten by students on a gang like scene? What then?

Or in reverse in my situation? Where I was bullied for the majority of my life BY the faculty. Who do I turn to in a school and say, your staff is picking on me?

My last job had a bullying situation.

It was unbelievable to watch unfold. It wasn't even in my department per say. In the employee handbook it said they took bullying seriously. They had a senior staff member who was a out of control bully. She had great work history, but I guess her head got too big. She bullied everyone something awful and they lost countless people due to it. Here's the thing, while she did EVENTUALLY get fired for bullying. It took a while. A lot of new employees where very honest about why they were leaving. Many current employees made it known that all the reasons things never progressed or moral was low was bullying. Apparently this was brought up in staff meetings but went no where. It finally came to a head when they got a new boss on the floor, and a long time employee moved from one department down to that one. I guess her statement was more believable then that of new employees saying I'm leaving because I was bullying.

The thing that bothers me is. A why would a new employee lie? A new employee wants to fit in. They want to do there best. They have to learn the motion of the ocean real quick. They wanted that job. I doubt they wanted to leave that job so quickly. For one it never looks good on a resume. Do you know how defeating it is to be bullied that bad into leaving?

That is why I find it sad they did not listen to the previous statements. I understand that for a bullying case to stick. I guess they needed plenty of evidence. I know they certainly had it.

But in the case of schools. A friend of mine teachers whee toddlers. From babies to 3yr olds. And she has told me how early they start bullying.

Back to my statement on whether it's mental illness, they are being bullied elsewhere or if nothing at all is wrong. Are factors. Because listening to her. She has seen all three that young already and it's like wow if you can catch it that early. Again we could save lives on both sides of the situation.

Sorry random memory lane. Coupled with some random thoughts about current events.

#bullying #mass shooting #stop bullying #suicide #help #overseas #mental health #children #teens #young adults #gossip #don't be assholes #morel of the story

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liz-goodwin · 7 years ago

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Kellyanne Conway’s husband criticizes Trump’s travel ban tweets as ‘sad’

Demonstrators rally during a March protest of President Trump’s proposed travel ban. (Photo: Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

WASHINGTON — George Conway, a prominent Washington attorney and the husband of top Donald Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway, criticized the president’s Monday tweetstorm deriding his own Justice Department as “sad” and damaging to the federal government’s case for its proposed travel ban.

“These tweets may make some [people] feel better but they certainly won’t help OSG get 5 votes in SCOTUS, which is what actually matters. Sad,” Conway tweeted.

OSG is the Office of the Solicitor General, which is defending the president’s revised executive order banning travel from six Muslim-majority countries and suspending the U.S. refugee program entirely.

These tweets may make some ppl feel better, but they certainly won't help OSG get 5 votes in SCOTUS, which is what actually matters. Sad. https://t.co/zVhcyfm8Hr

— George Conway (@gtconway3d) June 5, 2017

Conway confirmed to Yahoo News the tweet was his but declined to elaborate on how he thinks Trump’s comments could hurt the White House’s case in court. Later, he tweeted that he still “VERY” strongly supports Trump and his “wonderful wife,” but that Trump’s tweets on legal matters undermine his own agenda and need to stop.

“Those who support him, as I do, need to reinforce that [point] and not be shy about it,” he wrote.

Conway was up for a top job in the Justice Department’s civil division but withdrew from consideration last week, citing concerns it was the not the best decision or his family. Before his Monday tweet criticizing the president, Conway had not posted on Twitter for more than a year. He was also reportedly up for consideration for the solicitor general position.

The president tweeted early Monday morning several times criticizing his own Justice Department for submitting a “watered down” and “politically correct” version of his original travel ban executive order, which had also barred Iraqis from entering the U.S., among other changes. “The Justice Dept. should have stayed with the original Travel Ban, not the watered down, politically correct version they submitted to S.C.” he wrote.

“People, the lawyers and the courts can call it whatever they want, but I am calling it what we need and what it is, a TRAVEL BAN!” the commander in chief tweeted.

The president signed a revised travel ban in March after the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and other federal courts blocked his original ban, arguing that it was likely unconstitutional since its intent was to target Muslims.

Several federal judges cited the president and his staff’s own words saying they wanted to institute a “Muslim ban,” as evidence the executive order was intended to unconstitutionally target a specific religion. Derrick K. Watson, the federal judge in Hawaii who blocked the revised executive order, wrote he found “significant and unrebutted evidence of religious animus driving the promulgation of the Executive Order and its related predecessor.” That evidence includes former Trump adviser Rudy Giuliani saying the president asked for a “legal” version of the Muslim ban to sign, and the president’s comments on a the Christian Broadcast Network the day he signed the executive order saying he would give Christian refugees preference over Muslim ones.

The Justice Department has argued that the courts should consider just the text of the executive order, not the president or his staff’s comments about its intent.

Now, attorneys on both sides of the political spectrum say Trump’s words may again hurt him in court.

Neal Katyal, the former acting solicitor general under former President Barack Obama who now is representing the state of Hawaii in its challenge of the travel ban, tweeted that the president was acting as his “co-counsel” because his comments were so damaging to the government’s case.

Its kinda odd to have the defendant in HawaiivTrump acting as our co-counsel.We don't need the help but will take it! pic.twitter.com/8ehqkLkOY2

— Neal Katyal (@neal_katyal) June 5, 2017

Trump’s tweets could potentially hurt the government’s case in several ways. For one, the Trump administration has forcefully pushed back on referring to the executive order as a “travel ban” — a phrase Trump repeated several times in his Monday Twitter flurry.

“This is not a travel ban,” Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly said after the order was signed. “This is a temporary pause that allows us to better review the existing refugee and visa vetting system.”

The administration probably wanted to shy away from the word “ban” since it hearkened back to candidate Trump’s promise of a “Muslim ban” — a policy that many federal judges would rule unconstitutional.

Secondly, in calling his revised order “watered down” and “politically correct,” the president suggests that the new executive order has not made a clean break from the intent of the first, which is the argument that judges cited while rejecting the revised version.

Trump also attacks the courts as “political” in one of the tweets, potentially alienating the justices who will be examining his case. (“In any event we are EXTREME VETTING people coming into the U.S. in order to help keep our country safe,” he wrote. “The courts are slow and political!”)

Perhaps most importantly, however, is the fact that the Trump administration has not unveiled the new “extreme vetting” procedures the executive order was nominally crafted to create. The executive order asked for a temporary travel ban of 90 days on six countries (and of 120 days for refugees from all countries) while the government instituted new extreme vetting procedures for future visitors — procedures that the Trump administration has yet to produce. Judges may take the absence of extreme vetting measures as evidence that the travel ban was not actually intended to be a temporary measure to tighten security but instead a more permanent ban on travelers to the country disproportionately affecting a certain religion.

According to the New York Times, the president may have been reacting to a segment on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” when he started his Monday tweetstorm. A few minutes before Trump’s tweets, the show’s hosts played clips of Trump administration officials emphatically saying the policy was not a travel ban, contrasting it with the president’s Saturday-evening tweet after the London terror attacks saying America needed a “travel ban” to be safe.

#travel ban #muslim ban #_author:Liz Goodwin #_revsp:Yahoo! News #_uuid:74282bfc-9c37-398b-a786-44ef90fde091 #_lmsid:a077000000CFoGyAAL #donald trump

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livingwithashipname-blog · 8 years ago

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i used to love scorpion but it's become mediocre since the second half of season 2 bc all they've done is bait waige. tbh, it's not a good ship and maybe i'm biased bc i've headcanoned walter as aromantic (which would've worked much better in terms of his character since the show seems to be telling ppl with higher IQ that to find a place they belong they have to develop EQ to "evolve" when as a society, we should be accepting them and not making them fit in with us)

No offense anon, but… Is there a question in this? It’s unclear exactly what you’d like to discuss or know from me. But I chose to take my time with this response in order to open a discussion within the fandom. This isn’t a rant. Lol!

I disagree with the notion that the show is telling its audience that high IQ, low EQ individuals have to develop EQ to evolve or fit into society. This insinuates that the geniuses sacrifice their intellect in order to become less socially inept. This is simply not the case. One of the show’s core messages is to communicate the benefits of emotional intelligence in relation to one’s goals to share that intellect with the masses - learning to adapt without sacrificing identity. The message is continuously addressed with Walter O’Brien because he is the genius with the lowest EQ, the creator of Scorpion, and uses his business as a hub for like-minded individuals with various skill sets.

What makes us different from animals as humans is cognition - the ability to reflect on our thoughts and experiences and act on them to change ourselves and our environments. Walter is not efficient at processing emotion to label it properly, meaning that he can not identify behaviors to which he can not relate. This does not mean he can not emote, but the amount of EQ he gains over time is learned. It does not derive from within. The same is true of the other geniuses to a lesser extent. (Elyes Gabel talked about this at the cast’s first SDCC appearance - Walter has an emotional vault that he struggles to access.) Furthermore, Walter’s environment contributes to how well he can regulate his emotions. In the show, Walter’s intelligence was fostered as a child through his work for the government. But his emotional development was only fostered through Megan because she accepted him for his differences unlike his parents. This is why he was so protective of her medical care and fought hard on an intellectual level to save her. Since Walter’s emotional development is an arc for the entire series, his character will be written to show his successes and failures in various aspects of his life in relation to his life goals.

As far as attraction is concerned, Walter could be written as aromantic in relation to his genius. This would have been a great and intriguing development. But various moments in the show suggest that Walter, at the least, is romantically attracted to women for now. Therefore, his emotional intelligence will also have an impact on any romantic relationship he seeks to have given the show’s premise. If you’ll indulge me, allow me to explain using recent scenarios from the show, present the conundrum that lies within fandom, and how that conundrum is capitalized in order to “bait” fans on Waige under the cut. It’s long, so don’t say I didn’t warn ya! 😜

Examples from Canon

In episode 2.22 Hard Knox, the team mobilized to help Ralph win his court battle. Ralph tried to explain his program’s functions to Walter, but he couldn’t understand Ralph’s approach. Sadly, Walter projected his frustration over a problem he couldn’t solve in that moment onto Ralph. This led to Ralph walking away feeling defeated and Paige threatening to quit. When he realized the mistake in his behavior, he approached Ralph and said this, “what upset me is that you were willing to slow down for me to-to let me go down the wrong road, when that would’ve hindered you, because I couldn’t grasp your work. Never hobble your intelligence for anyone… because if you do that in this garage, imagine what you’ll have to do out there… for humans. The world needs to catch up to you… because if-if it can, just a little, imagine what a… a beautiful place it could be.” This example is unique because it reinforces the show’s core message in IQ vs. EQ on the basis of intelligence, not emotion.

In 3.15 Sharknerdo, Walter argued with the client over the way he stated the service fee instead of accepting the fact that the client was not interested in learning the correct way to communicate $109,000. This cost the team their job and dismantled the weeks of work Paige did to secure that contract. Paige was rightfully frustrated because Walter couldn’t get like Elsa and let it go. 😂 Plus, it’s even more frustrating that Walter secured a new job on contingency, where payment is only guaranteed upon completion of services. This is bad for Walter despite the fact that Paige is the liaison for several reasons: 1) he talked with the client in her absence, 2) he lost a job with a secured fee and replaced it with a less secure one (that’s not good business when you have employees to pay), and 3) he is the boss of Scorpion who makes the final decisions. In Paige’s absence, he is the next point of contact for independent jobs (those not issued through Homeland Security). This is the statute of limitations when it comes to his goals for Scorpion. He has to acquire skill sets to make him more efficient at communicating with average/high EQ, non-geniuses if he wants to diversify his clientele to do more good in the world. In other words, he has to learn and apply approaches on an EQ level to appeal to normals in order to get them to his level or create an equal playing field. Another great example of this can be found in his interaction with the foreman in 3.14 The Hole Truth after his talk with Happy. I apply the same tactic as a researcher. I have to know my audience and how to address them in order to communicate my findings and spark interest. If I do not, I limit my reach and open doors to miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Also take into consideration instances where Walter has lied about facts in order to achieve the greater good. Episode 2.04 Robots is a great example. What’s also interesting about this episode and others in which this has happened is that Walter doubts the scope of his own emotional intelligence. The same is seen with Happy Quinn whose EQ is closer to Walter’s. If you have read any of my reviews, I talk about this doubt factor several times. Walter and Happy have demonstrated emotional mastery in both their work and personal lives. Their main issue is consistency outside the limitations their logical brains impose on their emotional functionality. Yet overall, they improve each season.

This show is loosely-based on the real Walter O’ Brien, who is an executive producer. If you ask him to choose between IQ and EQ, he will tell you, EQ over IQ, from his own personal experiences which has been infused widely throughout this show. You can read that interview HERE and learn what he did to create the show. It’s very enlightening!

Fandom Realities

Here’s the conundrum that stems from fandom. (If you read the interview, then you already got a sense of what I am about to say.) Scorpion is an action dramedy in two parts - personal stuff and mission stuff. And these two elements are interchanged in every episode. However, the majority of fan commentary on the show is about the romances first, the other personal storylines second, and the missions last. This means the greatest pull, as far as spoilers and other marketing strategies are concerned, is information on the ships whether it’s through social media, press releases, or cast interviews. The majority of fans don’t get excited over the missions (or else that would be reflected in fandom convo and creations). Scorpion covers some real projects like the Chernobyl dome and the Svalbard Doomsday Vault (both of which are really cool btw). And I am curious if an upcoming episode will take a note from a docu-drama on Mars that debuted on National Geographic. Anyways, Waige is not canon and yet Waige-centric episodes receive behind-the-scenes exclusives on pop culture news sites like Entertainment Online. Katherine McPhee and Elyes Gabel are sent out on press to talk about them. You do not see similar treatment with the other ships because Waige is the main ship of the show. All others are side ships, regardless how much exposure they get. Quintis is highlighted in the storyline because the relationship is between two main characters, who are both high IQ, low EQ individuals, as opposed to Callie (RIP 💀) which is between a main and a guest, both of whom have average/high EQ.

The showrunners, writers, cast have alluded and established in many ways that Waige is an endgame, slow burn otp. The mystery lies in WHEN this will happen. It would be stupid for them to reveal that information. But they use episodes to answer that question for the fans. As fans, we can choose to trust what is there to put our expectations in check or fall for the bait! Besides, we get more receipts the more the writers use more than one episode to foreshadow. If we don’t like what we see after some time, we have to determine what is the breaking point and move on or devise a new plan to indulge the content (e.g., skip episodes, binge later). We also have to take into consideration that some decisions are in the hands of network execs. At the end of the day, it makes no sense to engage in endless emotional masochism over something we no longer enjoy. It’s silly! But I digress. If you want to know more about my theories on Waige, feel free to go to my page, type “the Waige flip” in the search engine, and read all about it. As someone who ships Waige, I don’t have any questions on them until season 4, episode 12/13.

I will not argue whether Waige is a good ship or not because it’s not my place to police opinion. What I will say is that Waige is an intriguing pairing because it is a relationship between a low EQ individual and a high EQ individual - a genius and a normal. (Btw, high IQ, high EQ individuals exist - it’s a function of nature vs. nurture. But that’s a topic for a different day!). Melvester had the same dynamic, but the EQ gap between Megan and Sly was much less than that between Walter and Paige. For this reason, Waige will always face unique challenges. Like I said at the beginning of all this, Walter’s emotional development is a series arc and his triumphs and failures will extend to his personal life. But one thing this show does well is communicate understanding in the team’s decisions, both geniuses and non-geniuses, whether you agree with their stances or not. That’s necessary given the show’s premises!

If you’ve read up to this point, CONGRATS!!! You have survived another Emanda’s Inner Sanctum analysis/thought piece! Toodles peeps! 😘✌🏾️

#ermanda's inner sanctum #answered #anon #cbs scorpion #scorpion cbs #team scorpion #livingwithashipname

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