#NOT THAT I'VE GOTTEN THERE BUT I'VE GOTTEN TO A POINT WHERE ITS OBVS

[shellxrls]

babe r u okay we haven’t seen you for ages :/

SORRY NONNIE. i feel like i shld do a clarification post cuz i've gotten a few asks and i feel kinda bad for leaving u guys in the dark 😭. i've just been putting this off cuz i've been tired and stressed coupled with other reasons (that i'll explain) that make me not want to publicly interact on this blog:

recently i've noticed such a large uprise in hate on this app (ranging from pro-israel/anti-palestine posts to mutuals outside of my fandoms being called aggressive slurs to ppl within the obx fandom consistently expressing opinions of dislike and resentment to authors for simply writing what they want) - also largely made up of anon asks with the foundation of racial or sexuality based hate (which i won't go into depth ab but ppl definitely pick and choose who to send hate to based on those factors - pisses me the fuck off more than anything bcuz i don't come on this app to be bombarded with racism and reminders of my racial perception in this world, regardless of whether its directed at me or mutuals).

another thing, (which ik has been said forever but continues to remain important), the lack of support and interaction for/with writers on this app is definitely very discouraging. i no longer feel supported by the community i've created and the truth is i need that interaction to keep writing and engage my motivation otherwise i feel like what i'm doing on this app is pointless.

no one logs onto this app to listen to me rant ab personal issues, and so i wont' go into extensive detail - but i've consistently used tumblr to escape my personal life, and the burdens and stress that come with. ofc i'm a writer, but wayyy beyond that this is intended to be my safe space where i can enjoy and simply be myself and let go of personal stress as well as interact happily w like-minded ppl. due to this, i've made an effort to take time out of my own life and duties to write and to interact because of the community. recently however i find myself more and more anxious to even open the app and look at my notifs, and whenever i do open the app i make myself feel bad by comparing myself to other writers - which is completely normal occasionally, but at this point its not as easy to shake considering all the factors listed above. its unfortunate to say but it simply hasn't felt worth it to be on this app and interact for while now for me.

before anyone says i'm being too sensitive or its my sole purpose to write - pls remember that this is entirely my blog, i can choose what my motivations are for being on this app and its not a stretch to kindly ask for more in terms of stopping hate and simply being more supportive if u do genuinely like an author and their works.

ultimately i've been both a fan/reader and a writer on this app for multiple years atp, i can understand both perspectives but i've honestly never felt this disconnected and upset ab a blog before. I understand that not everyone is to blame, and i'm sorry to those who've been kind & active supporters, but my public interactions have been limited and may continue to be bcuz i feel v unsure & stagnant atm.

the only 'exception' to this is my mutuals, i love them all obv and their works, & so i'm continuing to interact w them as per normal, and so i am active on the app & i'm definitely not entirely gone by any means. if anything i just need a few more days to reconsider, but we'll see.

[nightxcreature]

Old MacDonald

Summary: On a hunt with Sam, Dean, and Bobby, Reader finds herself navigating an uncomfortable situation.

Warnings: Cursing (obvs), Claustrophobia, fear of snakes (mentioned), Prob grammar mistakes (sorry), Reader and Dean fighting for a brief moment

Pairing: Bobby Singer x Daughter!Reader, no established relationships

A/N: Sorry i went on a little hiatus, we're prepping for vacation, and I've been distracted getting everything ready for that. I hope you enjoy this one, its just a fun little hunt.

The small axe in my hands hadn’t touched the wooden floorboards since we arrived at the creepy cabin in the woods several hours before, the three men in front of me having taken it upon themselves to try and pry the wood apart with various other tools. We had been looking for the bones of an old farmer from 1780 and had been led here, in search of a tunnel where he had supposedly been disposed of. Dean had been using anything he could find to tear apart the old building, claiming demolition was his ‘specialty’…and I had rolled my eyes so many times at this point that I’m surprised they hadn’t gotten stuck in the back of my head. The three hunters had yet to find the tunnel under the home, throwing boards and dirt around the cabin haphazardly when Sam finally broke through into blank space below his feet.

                “Found it.” He called, bracing himself against the wall in front of him as he regains his footing, “Doesn’t look like any of us are fitting down there though.”

                I pushed off from the stool I had been sitting on to duck under his arm for a good look. The hole was roughly the size of a laundry chute, big enough for a child or small adult to fit through. I grimaced and shook my head, my thoughts already racing at the idea of someone having to go down there; I’ve never been claustrophobic, but I certainly wasn’t interested in developing the fear.

                “Any other ideas?” I ask, still staring down at the tunnel entrance. When no one answered, I slowly looked up and made eye contact with the two men across the room who were looking at me as if I had two heads. I glance up to Sam and raise an eyebrow, “Is there something on my face?”

                He chuckles awkwardly and shakes his head ‘no’ before pulling me away from the edge as he steps back, “I think you misunderstood me…”

                I look between him and the two men currently avoiding my gaze before pointing at the hole in the floor, “You said none of us are fitting down there. I’m not sure how I could misunderstand that.”

                He shakes his head again and gestures between himself, Dean, and Bobby, “None of us are fitting down there.”

                I gape open mouthed at him before bursting into a fit of laughter, “You’re hilarious.”

                None of the men reply, each avoiding my gaze in their own way before Dean mumbles under his breath, “You’re the smallest.”

                My laughter dies as quick as it started when I snap my head in his direction, “Yeah, the smallest, not the stupidest! If you want those damn bones so bad you go down there yourself.” I pointed a finger toward the hole, my other hand placed high on my hip as I glare at him.

                “Me? I couldn’t fit down there if I wanted to!” He yells back, crossing his arms across his chest.

                “So, you admit that you don’t want to?”

                “Who would want to go down there?!”

                “Exactly!”

                A shot goes off in the middle of the cabin causing the two of us to snap our mouths shut. Bobby stands in the center of the room, his shot gun smoking and a harsh look of annoyance on his face. He raises a single finger and points toward Dean, “I raised you boy, if I hear you yell at my little girl like that again I’ll skin your hide, you hear me?”

Dean nods his head and looks back at me, mouthing, “Daddy’s girl.” From behind Bobby’s shoulder.

I roll my eyes and stick my tongue out at him until Bobby turns that menacing finger in my direction, “And you,” He gruffly starts, narrowing his eyes and frowning, “Stop being a wussy and do your damn job. Ain’t a single one of us in this room that’ll let you die.”

A deep sigh leaves my lips as I hold his gaze, “He started it.” I mumble as I cross the room and grab a flashlight from the duffle by the door.

“I don’t care who started it, I’ll finish it.”

I shake my head, patting his back as I pass him on my way back to the hole, “Yeah, I know, Old Man.” I squat down by the tunnels edge and glare back toward all three of them, “If I die, just know that none of you can reach my bones down here and I’ll haunt you for the rest of your miserable lives.”

Sam nods, a slight smirk on his lips as he wraps a rope around my waist, tying it in a knot and grabbing the other end tightly, “Wouldn’t expect anything else.”

I let out a little laugh and glare at Dean playfully, “Better keep that magazine collection in a safe place…ghost me’ll be gunning for it.” I turn back toward the tunnel as he lets out an awkward chuckle, the smile on my face falling as I stare into the darkness. I take a deep breath and brace my arms on the edges before dropping down into the darkness below.

A quiet grunt leaves my body as my feet hit the rough dirt at the bottom, the flashlight had fallen from my loose grip causing the inky blackness of the tunnel to surround me. My breathing was heavy, and a shiver ran through me both at the temperature down here and at the thought of not being alone in this darkness. I scrambled on my hands and knees in search of the light, running my hands cautiously over the ground where I finally found the plastic tool.

“You good, Sweetheart?” I hear from above me, Dean’s baritone echoing down the tunnel as the sound reaches me.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright.” I click on the flashlight and crawl my way down the narrow tunnel, as quickly as I can, “Be right back!”

“It smells like ass down here.” I whisper to myself, squinting ahead to try and make out anything that even closely resembles bones, “You better be down here, Old McDonald, or I swear to god on this farm you’ll have my foot in your ass.”

At that, my light lands on a large brown bag thrown against the wall ahead, it looks to be empty save a small bulge at the bottom, “Bingo…” I point the flashlight up toward the ceiling and shimmy my way over the rocks and dirt between the bag and me. Gripping the mouth of the bag, I slowly slid my hand inside.

“Please don’t be a snake, please don’t be a snake. Please, please…” I breathe out a sigh of relief when my fingertips brush the brittle surface of aged bone, “Oh, thank God…”

I dump them out in a pile, glancing at them quickly to make sure they’re real before dumping salt on them and backing down the tunnel again, throwing a lighter as I go. I make my way quickly back to the entrance and stand, bracing one foot on the dirt wall in front of me, “Pull me up!” I yell, feeling a strong tug as one of the guys yanks on the rope. I climb my way up, grabbing onto Sam’s hand as he lugs me the rest of the way out.

“That wasn’t as bad as…” I glance between the three of them, each looking like they’ve had the shit kicked out of them and I grin, “Did he finally show up to stop us?”

Dean rolls his eyes, throwing dirt at me and grabbing his duffle bag, “Just get your shit and lets go.”

I let out a loud laugh, grabbing my bag and throwing it over my shoulder, “You wish you would’ve been the one navigating the tiny hole now, huh?”

[sege-h]

Sonic Movie 3 trailer thoughts, don't read beyond this point if you haven't seen it or otherwise don't want to be spoiled

Pros:

-I'm excited for the fights in this movie but that's not a surprise

-VERY curious as to how they'll handle Shadow and his backstory since Gerald is still in the picture

-I do like Keanu as Shadow although I feel like I need to hear more of the voice to decide if I'm really sold on it

-THE MOTORBIKE i was hoping it'd get used. I Was wondering if the one that's been on tour irl is a prop from the movie but it doesn't look like it? Plus they used it as a movie 3 ad at gamescom even though the backdrop for it used Movie 2 assets just with the 3 logo because like. We had gotten NOTHING yet. No trailer, no posters, just the logo for it.

Cons:

-H a t e that Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles are being called on by the government now. I know this is the most copaganda Sonic of them all just by having Tom be a cop, and Wade being a protagonist too since he got his own show and all (lol. Lmao)

But I didnt expect them to go full in given that in the first 2 movies the military is the secondary bad guy. The story this movie is based on (SA2, obv) is the most anti-military thing ever and it could've easily still been the case for the movie too. Shadow gets out, overconfident military idiots think they can get him back on their own AND get Sonic too in one fell swoop by framing him for Shadow's bad deeds. It's even easier here than in the games because they could just go 'Well we only know one too fast for the naked eye hedgehog alien so its clearly you doing this'

-I've been against Jim Carrey putting on a fat suit from the start. Because I knew that if movie Eggman didn't start out fat (which he didn't) and gets fat later then they'd go for the fatphobic angle of 'ewww hes fat now ewww hes a slob because being fat and a slob go hand in hand guys right am I funny yet huh guys haha do you get my joke yet' and that's EXACTLY what happened in this first trailer alone

Extra notes: I dont know why they think Eggman getting zapped by the quill is so funny that they had to do it 3 times, however I was watching a Sam stream just today where he was like 'if he licks that quill again im gonna fight someone' so I do think it's funny from the aspect of 'oh man theyre gonna get him in the trailer alone' HSDHSHDS

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

I used to be kind of a fan of Lily's videos. Like, I never really subscribed to her but I did watch her videos kind of often, even though I've been a huge anime fan for way longer. I'm also currently learning Japanese (so obvs can't claim to know as much as a native speaker) and I've pretty much gotten over my... like, I guess, of Lily's videos through sheer force of will and how utterly goddamn hilarious both her Spy x Family and list of anime she likes videos were. As someone who has been watching anime for 10 years now, and someone who actually is a big fan of Spy x Family, every single thing she says about it is laughable. First of all, she's absolutely fucking clueless about shows that anime fans actually like. Anime fans LOVE Spy x Family because it's wholesome and fun. But also, the most popular manga and anime in recent memory – Chainsaw Man – is a deep and purposeful exploration of trauma and abuse and the author of Spy x Family used to work as an assistant to the author of Chainsaw Man. She's also utterly clueless about the author's feelings on his own manga. Endou Tatsuya does not hate or "feel nothing" towards Spy x Family. He was surprised that it became as popular as it did, but he doesn't dislike the series at all. The most baffling thing to me is that she claims she knows what Japanese people enjoy but has literally zero sources on that. Not to even mention how utterly racist and offensive she is about the Japanese language. She states in one of her videos that every Japanese word has a direct equivalent in English – something that is horrendously untrue to the point that, when attempting to translate, I often have to write entire paragraphs in English trying to explain what one word means and its connotations – and that honorifics and titles are the same or have the same meanings. Again, utter fucking nonsense. God, it pisses me off so much. Sorry I ended up going on a rant here. Just wanted to talk about how fucking deranged she sounds. Lily get your fucking shit together. Either stop talking about anime and how much you hate Japanese people/the Japanese language or do your fucking research before you open your mouth and let whatever fucking nonsense is holding your brain together slip out.

Since we're on the language train, she also doesn't seem to grasp that puns translate horribly. Because they're a play on words, and what might work in one language might not have an equivalency in another.

And that happens in Japanese a lot. You can tell sometimes where translators had to take liberties to just convey a joke because it just couldn't translate otherwise.

Oh, and that's not even getting into popular idioms!

It's really annoying listening to her act like languages aren't a reflection of the cultures that speak them, and just shows how little she knows about the world outside of North America.

[noahtally-famous]

Tell me about Picking Petals and that time travel AU of TDPI

Is the elimination order different, or does it go the same way as canon?

oh my godddd this ask has been sitting in my drafts for two months now i think?? ive been holding back on answering this bc i wanted to be in the right environment where i can infodump without getting interrupted. im so so super sorry for the long wait, i hope my response makes up for it!!

first of all, TYSM FOR THE ASK DUDE heads up you're gonna prob get a longass ramble abt this from me so yeah lmao without further ado, lets get into it!

PICKING PETALS:

the fic loml, the first EVER td fic i thought up and I've three chapters prewritten for it, half of the fic planned out/outlined, and so many scenes, moments, interactions, etc for it thought up. i'd gotten back into the fandom and while rewatching tdpi for the first time in 7 years i came up with this idea.

started off as purely self-indulgent bc i wanted to write my spin on the truth or scare episode, and then it turned into all this and im so living for it!!

dashawn-centric, obv. it veers off-course from canon during and after episode 4 (the truth or scare one). the overarching plot is 'what if dave and shawn kissed for the scare, and all the shenanigans that followed with getting feelings for someone you didn't expect all bc of one (1) kiss--as well as some other stuff that snowballs from it bc its total drama'. this is TOTALLY canon divergent. the elimination order is 90% different from canon. the characters get way more depth to the point where they may seem like different ppl with only their canon stereotypes reminding them of who they are in canon (not different as in like ooc btw before anyone jumps to that conclusion, i meant different as in a lot of the characters get more of a personality than what canon gave them lmao). a lot of my dave lore spawned thanks to this fic. dave, himself, gets such a fucking glowup from the 2D version of him canon gave while still retaining his 'normal guy' persona. same with shawn tbh, i love the expansion I've done for the characters in this fic ngl, but personally i love how dave turned out

dave & ella friendship, dave & sky friendship, background jasammy, jasmine & shawn friendship, sammy & shawn friendship, mild sammy & dave camaderie/friendship, sammy & amy development, dave & topher rivalry interactions, dave & scarlett interactions, shawn & topher rivalry, the final three being a ball of tension bc of enmity (i wont say who they are), ella getting her development, dives into character backstories and why they auditioned for td, tensionnn of all kinddd, dramaaa of all kinddd, scarlett's evilness actually being foreshadowed before the Great Reveal, etc etc the list just keeps on going!! these folks are gonna have tdi vibes--they're going to act like teens and befriend each other (or hate each other) bc canon tdpi sorely lacked that and imo the pi cast exudes found family vibes

due to how variant the elimination order is, i literally had to create two new challenges for two of the chapters, esp post-merge bc chris was interjecting himself into practically all the challenges in canon lmaoo also tdpi's eliminations were annoying bc why were there two double eliminations for literally no reason? that's gonna change here as well; no double eliminations, and there's gonna be a variant of elimination types (for example: there's gonna be a 'character is too injured to compete therefore obligatory elimination' type happening in this fic--hmmm i wonder who'll be behind the injury... and some more "scandalous" types bc this is total drama, it's not gonna live up to its name if there aren't any eliminations that are 'unfair'!)

starts from ep4 all the way to the finale--and speaking of the finale, the finalists are partly different from canon too. like i said, nearly everything diverges from canon to a degree. i kind of went nuts with this fic lmao its my bby, i treasure it with my heart, i want to write more for it, i want to publish it so badly, but my goal is to get at least 20 chapters into agtsta before publishing picking petals (tho idk i think that plan might change...im considering maybe giving myself breathing time to get more prewriting done until january before starting the new year off right with some picking petals posting!)

REWIND, REPEAT:

the time-travel au fic!! its still heavily in the works so im basically spitballing ideas here, but im thinking of two options.

dave time-travel route:

initially my idea for this fic (can you tell i love putting dave in situations? that boy deserves to be spun in a mixing bowl), and it'd be interesting bc he's sort of like an anti-villain?? bc its directly after the finale when he gets left behind and attacked by scuba bear. he comes across some malfunctioning tech on the island while running away and BOOM next thing he knows he's somehow zapped back to where and when it started--on the blimp at the very beginning of the season. so he is still reeling from everything that occurred and naturally he isn't feeling too lightly abt the whole ordeal

some of my mutuals may know this, but when i was like 10 and watched tdpi for the first time, i made notes for a season 2 au; it involved a personality shift for dave (even when i was 10 he was one of my favs). my idea in the notes was that he became a hollyleaf, if you know warrior cats lmao; he's more reserved, there's this inner turmoil and energy coiled in him, he's an enigma, he doesn't open up much, he has this Dark Secret vibe surrounding him, but he's also clever and will do anything to get to his goal and he has extensive knowledge of the island due to his time on there. this personality remains the same more or less in this fic. the catch is dave acts more in a villainy way but he doesn't rlly have what it takes to be a villain even though a part of him wants to (hence anti-villain). as much as he pretends he doesn't, he still has emotions--just heavily barricaded, and those emotions prevent him from fully losing his head. he forms an alliance with scarlett (and maybe topher??? idk why i love that trio sm, they would be so iconic when it came to villainy; bonus if sugar informally joins too, not as like a set part of their group tho bc she has her own agenda) and has one goal in mind: to get sky eliminated. gone is the lovestruck fool, he's revenge-driven and says he doesn't have time for love bc he's in it for the competition. (idk yet if there will be love interests for him or if this is just gonna be a dave-centric fic). the finalists are prob gonna be dave and sky bc that'd be fucking iconic after the build-up

shawn & dave friendship, topher & dave alliance, scarlett & dave alliance, sugar & dave hesitant alliance, sky & dave one-sided enmity, ella & dave friendship, maybe more depth abt beardo?? or leonard?? jasmine & dave mutual wariness and distrust, chris absolutely loving this version of dave

sammy time-travel route:

development (lots of development!) on sammy's end as well as her relationship with her sister amy. she'll prob be a finalist too?? or at least in the final four/three, and idk i want it to be a sammy & amy finale but idk if that's too cliche lmaoo i think it'd be interesting!

this one's different. shortly after tdpi ended, sammy partakes in a "controlled experiment" with several other teens with the reward of getting paid a somewhat hefty amount. she decides why not, seems simple enough, but when it's her turn there's a fluke and she gets chucked back in time to the beginning of tdpi (which was the last thing she'd been thinking abt before the experiment). however, maybe one or two episodes in, she decides to take charge in the situation she's going through and adopts a 'fuck it we ball' attitude abt the whole thing where she tries to be a different person--the kind of person she's always aspired to be like but amy had always belittled her for--and this makes her less of a pushover overtime and instead more bolder and persistent in getting as far as she can.

she makes new friends that she hadnt noticed or gotten the chance to become closer with when she initially was on the show. maybe ella & sammy friendship, jasammy, either scamy or scarlett & amy 'we're gonna betray each other' alliance OR scarlett & sammy 'friendship' OR a scarlett using manipulative tactics to play both sisters, etc etc.

both her version and dave's versions of this fic idea are different bc neither of them are fixated on the prize money. they have their own agendas for getting ahead of the rest. dave for revenge and beating sky; sammy for being the person she's always wanted to be and actually moving past the box amy placed her in.

third option (that i literally thought up like ten seconds after writing the sammy route):

COMBINE THE TWO OPTIONS, that'd be pretty sick ngl like dave's on the island when he flashes back and believes he's the only one in the past, but sammy, at the same time, had partaken in that experiment and flashed back to the past too; neither know the other is in the same predicament bc they try to hide it thinking they're the only one until like...later in when they start getting Suspicious and maybe some slip-ups occur bc they're tryna keep a low-profile but things happen y'know? they're 16 year olds who figured out time-travel exists, obv they're gonna fuck around and find out. possible alliance between the two once everything is out in the open? out of pure mutual beneficiary? it'd be funny bc both their personas are on opposing sides lmaoo dave & sky finale, with sammy and amy ending up post-merge? sammy's prob still gonna be in the final four, i think, but idk abt amy lmao i still think before amy gets eliminated she and sammy have a Confrontation bc i def need sammy to confront amy one way or another lmao that girl deserves it, they deserve a Heather & Lindsay Confrontation, sammy deserves to call amy a bitch on international television

ooooh and somehow scarlett finds out?? and tries to get her hands on the technology, but obv time is finicky so dave and sammy can't rlly allow that so they gotta stop her as a joint agenda while they have their own separate ones to deal with?? so this paves way for a true scarlett villain?? she'd make it to the final five or three, i think?

for this idea, there are gonna be multiple povs--dave and sammy's--and it's gonna be multi-plot too; dave and his conflict; sammy and her conflict; and how both alter the season bc of said conflicts and their attitudes abt them; plus the scarlett conflict

(y'know what i may end up going this route lmao bc i love both separate versions and im indecisive as fuck so my motto is if you can combine the options do it!)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas! I kinda needed a bit of advice so this is going to be a long rant

So last year there was a new girl at our school. I had just gotten over a crush, someone who I knew wouldn't like me back so I was pretty bored because what else can a queer teen girl do instead of fantasising about other girls. So when I saw her for the first time, she was reading a book. I thought she was new but I wasnt sure so I had to reconfirm. The next period turns out, she ended up in one of my language classes where she had to introduce herself.

Well, long story short (idk if ill survive) my best friend managed to make us sit together in another common class and that was the start of our friendship (i pined after her the WHOLE summer break because i was too shy to talk to her despite being an extrovert). We started texting and stuff So I established that i liked her and told her um one day before my besties birthday (pretty soon im excited) andddddddd guess whatttttttttttt. she rejected me. WEEEE

but one day in September i went to her art exhibition with my mom and our moms got to talking and i was still mad in love despite being rejected but anyway a day after that in school we had a small assembly about the lgbtqia+ community and how its okay to like girls, being in an all girls school so after that she texted me saying that she liked me and i FREAKED because i was so EXCITED welp. um. even tho she liked meeeeeeee we ended up in a situationship because she didnt wanna date and i was confused but didnt wanna force her

now my bestie has a theory which I directly quoted:

I think as a new girl, she wanted to make friends. And her best friend's nice, fine, whatever, but have you noticed that she rarely talks to your girlfriend once she's with her friends? Even your girlfriend must have. The point is, you were nice, kind, friendly. You wanted to be "friends" or so she first thought. It was a good friendship, and then you confessed. Our theory was that she didn't say that she liked you back then was because she didn't. Then you might've accidentally gone and done the thing where you avoid people, especially because you felt that you had ruined everything. So she confessed to not lose you. And then you ended up dating after whyever she didn't want to date was sorted out. She knew that you'd always treat her right and then she tried so it would be like a relationship. Then once you said you loved her, romantically, she knew you were going to be around. And then she eventually stopped trying. I think that she got attached to you at some point in time, and that's when the whole thing with the constant "I miss you"s started. The original basis of the theory was something we had discussed before, not you and me, but yeah, and I just elaborated with whatever information I've learnt today.

anyway most of my close friends disapproved of the relationship because she never reciprocated their efforts to get to know each other because both parties were going to be major parts of my life and never seemed to speak to me when they were around but i was blind and stupid and didnt listen to them and actually ended up ditching people to hangout with wonderful gf who said ok to dating 2 days after my bday

anyway so recently i been feeling like i wanna break up with her? so obv first person i go to is my best friend bc she's is the platonic loml and then she helps and we forget about it. mind you we're mid exams rn and like a few days ago i have had the nagging feeling i wanna breakup with her. bestie. my best friend makes me list out reasons and gets trauma dumped on.

basically I feel like we never have real conversations or communicate properly and it's always just kind of baby talk? even when it's serious, so like. yeah and then sometimes when i'm talking about my interests, she just goes "ew" and doesn't listen? and I help her when she fights with her best friend, but when I fight with mine she just replies "oh" and nothing else.

and the thing is we have very different schedules, but she always expects me to compromise on mine for hers like she stays up and I wake up early but she calls me late at night when i'm sleeping because "she missed me"??? she did this once on the day before a test and she knew that I wanted to get up early to revise. not to mention, she once also called my mom a psycho. yeah, so all of that and the fact that she never gave me gifts for our six month anniversary while I made her several boquets of paper flowers and shit I thought that maybe she didn't think we were doing that but I didn't get anything afterwards either. it's the same with gifts in general. and she doesn't really match my wild side or wants to do cliche coupley things that I want to do and I don't want to force her but I also really want to do them?

anyway i kinda got some shit going on in my life? and i kinda told gf that i may be emotionally unavailable but we'll talk about this after midterms. thing is. i may have told gf i wanna be friends but i dont actually now idk how to do damage control? But in my best friend's opinion it will just make shit more complicated and hurt both our feelings

idk what to do. everyone around me has biased opinions, so, yeah

Hi! <3

Okay, here's the thing. You're listening to everyone's opinion right now but your own. What do YOU want? Whatever you want, like really want, you need to decide that. And then you need to nicely tell your (ex)gf that. Because forcing your feelings for other peoples' benefit will only result in other people being hurt.

If you want to be with this girl, you need to communicate your feelings about her not being available enough. if you want space, you need to tell her that, too.

Either way, decide what YOU want, you know? Stop listening to others <3

naming you paper flower anon

[flame-cat]

okay kim stans, now that I have your attention I'm dropping a fic idea that I'll never ever make. free to a good home. kisses kisses kisses <3

kind of smashing together a bunch of little ideas I've shown off and also kept in my brain privately for fun-having reasons. it's kind of just my dissertation on why kim is absolutely pathetic when you take down his walls. he's a tin soldier. nothing but thin walls and hollow insides. <- OUGH THATS GOOD USING THAT AT SOME POINT

so basically vague handwavey idea that I think its some time into like, the point a lot of the meta-fandom narrative has gotten to, some time down the line after a lot of the initial Mess post-martinaise smooths out into something that looks normalish, or at least isn't an immediate crisis. harry is on a sober streak, [the Hetero-Sexual Life Partners are at the very least not constantly trying to kill each other (kim has had a Talk with Jean, who is mostly just privately seething and malding now and feeling incredibly sorry for himself). ] <OR> [there was an Incident where Jean got really REALLY sorry for himself and made a whole fucking scene and basically tried to kill himself, heavily based on a fic i read (called Trigger Warning) it kinda woobifies jean a bit but other than that its soooo fucking good but tl;dr the jobwives have made up and ] kim and jean are kind of both Harry's partner in ways? jean is still a satellite officer but a lot of times he gets paired up with Harry and kim and they're kind of the nightmare blunt rotation right now.

soooo again handwaves somehow one of the old cases Kim's partner left behind that was left cold picks up a lead again out of the blue and Kim is. well. he's normally a workaholic but this is intense even for him. like Jesus. nobody at the 41st has seen him like this. he doesn't sleep for days on end. (maybe he picks up speed? from jean? he considers doing it in-game to improve his Performance so I don't think thats above him).

anyway rock meet hard place Harry finally gets the poor sod to take a god damn break and go home, he and jean can sort out his disaster area of a desk and cover for him. Kim obliges, goes home and- OH SHIT WHO IS THAT! uhhh its all very vague in my head here but tl;dr Kim gets jumped maybe? nd this was all some sort of like. Ploy? to uhh . idk I think maybe the moralintern is involved in ways. but uh eyes is alive and was an espionage and faked his death and is now like. idrk yet if He stabbed Kim or what, or why its all even. happening in the first place. and tbh its not important to me cause I'm never gonna write it, I don't plan to its just something to play with at night to fall asleep.

important bit is now Kim is Leaking Everywhere and well. doesn't exactly have time to call gotlieb. so. he stitches himself up (NOT THAT WELL) and trudges back to the precinct to report to pryce. understandably people are freaked out by the Blood and stuff. harry comes with Kim to the briefing. shit gets Revealed. Kim dissociate. harry is like uhhhh okay well his home isn't safe anymore. jean can he crash on your couch can you drive us there while I sit in the back with him. and jean is like. fuck. okay. and yeah Kim kinda comes back into it on the ride there, has a Teensy Weensy (HUGEBADMASSIVE) panic attack, eventually calms down enough to clamber out of the car and. jeans apartment is 4 floors up and there's no elevator. hell on earth. Kim refuses to be helped up but 2 floors up he trips and let's jean help him, then they get to the top and Kim is like. Jean. and jean is like what- ohgodyoureunconsciousnowokayharryopenthedoor. and uhhh the rest is pure self indulgent "the boys nurse him back to health mwah" but way messier obvs. like fully "ok I have to take out the stitches you did and restitch you, throw back this glass of whiskey and try not to vomit on me. oh well he passed out. at least he's not feeling it?" and yeah.

anyway there's a Conversation between jean and harry at one point because the through line here is that harry is trying to keep his Boys safe but he doesn't know how they can keep doing This *gestures to the cop thing* and so jean is like okay well are we gonna work the case without him orrrrr and harry is like I am NOT moving a MUSCLE until Kim is 100% okay. he stayed with me for 2 days after I got shot. and jean is like okay bye- and harry is like no listen. I don't. we are killing ourselves here. and jean is like yeah? point? and harry is like maybe we. shouldn't. and they have a whole argument about it but that wakes up Kim who eats shit trying to get up and they both like rush in to make sure he didn't fuck up the new stitches or bust his head open right, and Kim is like. okay conflict resolution time. refuses to back down until everything is explained in detail to him even if he's still loopy. anddddd tl;dr Kim agrees with harry and idk what happens next but there u go

[mcl-mia]

//so... i have (finally) began trudging my way through the routes of wh again (done every route prior to rembrant's, sans klaus 2 because i am petty and still think it shouldn't have existed), and i've finally gotten to nox's route. just finished rembrandt's. and like... man do i have Thoughts. so i'm going to compile them and scream into the void. many of them will probably be on rembrandt's route, but that's because.... you know. the one i just finished.

first of all. narrative wise, i ADORE the continuation. i love how they are all in one connected timeline, it really brings such a finality to season 2 and it does, despite having its own issues, fixes what one of my biggest problems with the s1 routes (i.e. self contained story lines that don't connect anywhere). they introduce like, 80% of the cast that you're going to be interacting with and dating for the forseeable future and it makes it feel like a proper overarching storyline actually EXISTS!!! AND THERE IS ONE!!! AND IT WILL SOMETIMES REFERENCE S1 STUFF!!! IT'S SO GOOD. SO GOOD.

-100 points for having the rest of the s1 cast being almost fucking absent though. i understand that like. narratively they wouldn't always need to be there. however. i miss my boys. also -10000000 points for practically no amelia. where's my fucking wingman.

i 👏 love 👏 the 👏 night 👏 class 👏 boys. 👏👏👏 they feel like an actual friend group and shit like this makes me soooooo fucking emotional:

literally this makes me so feral. like, these people are liz's best fucking friends and it SHOOOWWWWSSS. the unconditional love here makes my heart want to burst.

i am eating so much good food lore wise. geography from bith hisoka and rembrandt's routes have me eating so good.

i like the time travel aspect well enough, though i do wish they did a smidge more with it? i'm not done with the rest of the routes yet obv but i'm curious to see if liz gets to keep her time powers. the end of rembrandt's route seems to imply that she lost them because the goddess crystal shattered, though?? status is currently unclear.

this line from mischa destroyed me:

like seriously. what the fuck. this is such a good line. and it reminds me that hugo, vain, and mischa have seen so many possible timelines that exist, and yet there IS one where hugo decides to take his shot. i know they basically have everybody be in love with liz but i think it's especially cute but very cruel for hugo, who almost certainly falls in love with her every time he meets her in a different timeline. just something to think about.

speaking of mischa. i think it's fucking adorable how chica and mischa are pen pals. besties. refined ladies. we love them. idk why tumblr doesn't want me to upload the screenshot but it's really cute.

so. routes. hugo's and hisoka's felt like..... nothing? like sure, they had some Big Picture Plot relevance, hugo's moreso for obvious reasons, but hisoka's felt like a beach episode. really weird.

hisoka's especially felt like nothing. like, cool that they introduce beastmen and , subsequently,the not so cool furry racism (wow i love fe9/fe10). but like. what else did it do besides have rembrandt take his watch back. and some geography. it was a nice change of pace, but the stakes felt so incredibly low compared to the two other routes its sandwiched between. don't get me wrong, i love the ending that came out from it. i LOVE the market idea and i love how it was walter fucking goldstein that sponsors hisoka. i just wish that, like..... there was bigger things going on in it. cute route overall, but just felt a little out of place. also hachi is a 10/10 familiar. would give so many pets.

ok. so rembrandt. i love, like, a LOT of how this route is written, to an extent. it is SO full of lore and dragonkin biology. i also like the overt head-smashing symbolism of rembrandt's magic being called "twilight" - not quite day, not quite night. if i were any dumber i'd call it clever.

so. to go back to the bad. because i think, very ironically, rembrandt is the worst part of his own fucking route. it's not that i don't find rembrandt exceedingly pretty, because he is, and his characterization is kinda... good? but he's just not the rest of the cast. literally the rest of the s2 squad consistently make me smile and giggle like a child, while i'm giving the "romance" a 1000 yard stare.

like, seriously. this small convo with lucious is just fucking great and better than any dialogue liz and rembrandt have ever had:

lucious calling his friends virgins is so funny. you go you funky little dude. never change, baby boy. but this is just soooo GOOD.

there's a lot of instances where they make it a point to show that the s2 cast really cares for liz, and that they are so comfortable around her. there's SO much good interaction and it's so cute... and then rembrandt is just. there. in the corner. losing his religion.

ok but seriously. let's talk about rembrandt himself for a sec. because like, rembrandt is fine. i appreciate that they don't beat around the bush that he is literally going to outlive liz. i also appreciate that everybody else is like, "do not fucking trust him, he is literally the enemy". unfortunate that due to the nature of the route liz is like "nuh uh" which makes everyone else be like "fym nuh uh". overall though i feel like he's just. too bland. which is WILD considering that he was a prison of war for like 1000 years. i know it's moreso that in his route he has (because of liz) finally started to trust humans again, but i wanted hesitation, i wanted DRAMA, a more romeo and juliet type beat!!! that came kinda close to it, but rembrandt being there and basically turning himself in is.... lame. very lame. sigh.

and then we have the incorporation of rembrandt into the main group. like, i love the night class boys SO much. and like, it bothered me a lot when liz would be like "oh don't worry rembrandt, we're your friends and you're part of the group now!" when rembrandt would do basically nothing but exist there. like, he barely interacted with them??? he felt very out of place, especially when the rest of the boys were still unsure about rembrandt. at least make fun of zeus like the rest of us, old man.

also. the plot point where rembrandt met liz when she was a kid, and she changed his whole outlook on humans..... uuuugggghhhhh. felt very unnecessary imo. it's like they just wanted to slap in another romance trope to make up for the fact that there wasn't a lot of romance to begin with. uuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

this was funny:

thank you for your services caesar o7

oh! and nox's outfit as nightmare is dumb. i know wh probably wasn't getting the greatest budget in the world but like... could have made it, like, so much better. i'll do a separate post for that in a min.

uhhhhhh i think that's all i got for now. i have . more but y'know. more to come.

[nochi-quinn]

campaign 3 episode 58: brb flying to la to steal matt's shins

I got sick again today but I'M TRYING

they got him!!

"we really should give all our producers a raise"

marisha that top

I believe the trope is magipunk but obvs I haven't seen it yet

HOWEVER magipunk is one of my favorite tropes so I'm hoping

game now called Taliesin's Baby

I hate literally every second of this

"teeth, tentacles and terror" hate that too

mapphew strikes again

"the trees have bones"

"we had a real estate agent but they ghosted us" BOO

"it's a bit much"

"I think you grabbed the one that was too big"

augh the wolf snouts coming out of it

"six :D"

HATE THAT NOISE

matt's noises are also hurting my brain so this tracks

nobody gets freaked out by legendary actions like travis gets freaked out by legendary actions

"BUT THAT'S METAGAMING"

"he's actually half butts"

matt says Make Expensive Choices

why does laura sound like she's on Old Timey Radio

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO

it's a Wet Monster it should take double from lightning

Chew Again

BIT IT AND QUIT IT

"how many of its butts fell off"

guiding bolt upp the butt(s)

FEARNE

"matthew how DARE you roll a natural 20"

NINE

FRIDA

somebody curse matt's dice

trade matt's dice with laura's

frida pulling every available feat out to throw at the meat tower

Action Surge Sharpshooter Grit Point is the fighter version of Reckless Great Weapon Master

"please gif that"

"aRe YoU uSiNg ThE sAmE dIcE"

"say parmesan if you want me to hit him" "PARMESAN"

"OKLAHOMA SAFE WORD"

a whole lot of rules just got flung around and I zoned out in self-defense

"a weird divacup for this massive period stain"

AUNT FLOW

"does it have eyes" "occasionally" "you can't SAY THAT"

hey I hate it

"a roll I wish I had failed"

gay

"tree trunk of skin" [lenny]

"it's not the holy grail!" "if you read enough dan brown - kinda!"

liam is here in spirit

AND ON SAM'S GAS CAN APPARENTLY

"GIVE HER BANGS"

"no, we just got the art"

oh hate

oh HATE

please run. please leave.

it is going to Eat You

"I rolled a 1 but it comes out to 23"

this is the closest we've gotten to matt breaking out an hourglass in a while

"paper - not being humanoid - because it's a piece of paper - "

"it's nOT A DILDO"

"frida - take this down"

CHRISTIAN

"and then I burn the notes and leave" okay arkhan

"just be a little smarter, okay?"

and then it WORKED

"this gargamel motherfucker stealing smurfs"

"I've never read a book. I'm actually older than books."

not the dot matrix printer

"be careful, link….the yuck moon rises once again…"

"I only saw her from the back but my god was she beautiful"

"abs for days"

COBOSO

"I don't know why wizards would have abs"

"it was very sad, he died, clearly"

irl gifts IRL GIFTS

SHIRTS

"I invented polyester"

and in the COLOR SCHEMES

"it's segmented, sepratated" sasha nein's mindscape

"you're a mess"

don't chase the rabbit!

if there are stars when you look down -

everybody gets presents

"it's a sweatshirt made out of wood"

YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE

"one more?" "…….ka-put"

EVERYBODY GETS PRESENTS

eabria come get your smut

their collective quest to get travis to turn into a tomato

I can't believe this is canon

they almost have to swap back now right. right? this is such a good place to wrap up. please return the other half of the table.

thank you for not being That Guy matt

;-;

HEY MATT??

YOU'VE SUFFERED A TERRIBLE FATE HAVEN'T YOU

the RED END

did fcg just become a champion?

IS DEANNA BEING MADE A CHAMPION?

gods going through their whole rolodex sending out SOSes

I forgot how much of a dick pelor is

I'm sorry, the ~dawnfather~

wait is the spider queen freaking out at opal? is this a disaster on both sides of the aisle?

where's opal, I wanna talk to opal

imogen is the kid who grew up secular and heard about every different religion from pop culture osmosis

(imogen is me)

it's a Stuff-Doing-Coin

see in scripted media her giving him the ring would be an enormous death flag. it still kind of is because I'm a paranoid panda but still

you have to give travis the inventory it's the rules

SDKJFLKSD

matt

THE RTA

sam sploded

this is tonight's real lore drop

just throw a dart at the map

it does DAMAGE?

"why does he say it like that"

MATTHOLOMEW MERCER

"WHAT'S NEW JERSEY"

liam's not even here to do the accent

"that's more fun" FOR WHO

NO FUCK YOU

LAURA

MATT

I HATE EVERYONE HERE

"I can't tell if she's doing a bit"

BEEN A WHILE SINCE I WANTED TO FIGHT THEM IN THE PARKING LOT AFTER THE SHOW BUT HERE WE ARE

[drabbles-mc]

Here we go *rubs hands together* *accidentally chirps* excuse me

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

💞 Who's your comfort character?

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?: UGH. I nearly imploded on myself reading this question because I know the answer without even thinking about it 😂 I wrote a request for Angel a long time ago and I really didn't feel the whole vibe of it because it was about jealousy/possessiveness and the whole "you can't go out wearing that" thing but I felt obligated to do it so I did. It was just a premise that I wasn't feeling at all and I think it definitely reflected in the work. I'm not a coward so I haven't deleted it from my masterlist but I avoid eye contact with it every time 😂 I will say that (prior to my requests being closed obvs) I've gotten better at telling people that im not vibing with something they sent it. I think its a valuable skill to have. Take it from me, kids! 😂

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?: Playfully mean? I don't think so. 😂 Usually I commit pretty hard to being mean and I kill people off or break people up lmao

❌ What's a trope you will never write?: ABO fic just is NOT for me. I don't read it, I don't write it, it's just not my bag. No hate to people who like it I just don't lol

💞 Who's your comfort character?: Oooo my current roster is Juice Ortiz, EZ Reyes, and Steve Murphy. One of these things is soooo not like the others but its fine im fine 😂😂

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?: If the people in my friend circle of the fandom enjoy it and get something out of it, like an emotional reaction or a, "I never thought about this!" type of thing its one of my faves. Also, I know it shouldn't matter, but notes and seeing people reblog and such definitely helps!

I'm kissing you on the mouth 😌

[freyalorelei]

One of the reasons that I like Tumblr is that it seems like one of the last holdouts for actual art.

I have a FB, primarily for keeping up with family and the Society for Creative Anachronism (because it seems like all communication in the SCA is done on fucking FB, but that's another conversation), and I am SO SICK of seeing people share what is clearly AI artwork. It's all over fandom groups, it's shared by friends and family, and it's gotten to the point where every image is suspicious, every photograph or painting must be carefully inspected for hints of blurriness or odd anatomy or wonky architecture and I HATE IT. I hate that I've become so paranoid and must analyze every detail of a piece of art before sharing it. I hate that it's stealing the livelihoods of actual artists. And I hate that nobody takes the time to learn the difference between stolen AI and original art.

On FB, the "algorithm" dictates what I see. My feed is so clogged with useless adverts and "suggested pages" for crap I have no interest in (the Lifetime Channel, really??) and "featured posts" by randos who happen to belong to mutual groups. On Tumblr, everything is chronological, AI artwork is quickly noticed and doesn't get far because nobody shares it, and I don't have to worry about getting recommendations for, I dunno, fucking Duck Dynasty reruns or Autism Speaks or whatever other bullshit it tries to shove in my face.

AI art is making us distrustful of both our own judgment and of the people around us. Are they deliberately trying to pass off AI as original art, or are they just ignorant? The inevitable hordes of bots commenting "Love it!! 😍❤️" in the comments of this stolen garbage to push viewership is horribly unethical.

Tumblr is a breath of fresh freakin' air.

(Seriously though, the SCA desperately needs its own social media platform. It's so hard to recruit younger members because hardly anybody under 30 uses FB...they're all on TikTok or Twitter or Reddit.)

(Also fuck Autism Speaks. Obvs.)

[roobylavender]

i'm sorry but i think sasuke fans give him too much credit lol that kid was never an anarchist 😭 after leaving the village, he first wanted nothing but revenge and then he wanted to establish his own calculated system on the world. as its leader. the very opposite of anarchy. naruto and sakura never had to help or understand his agenda which was either utterly worthless or simply detrimental to their personal dispositions. as for them being sell-outs… well, that's quite literally everyone in naruto, especially the uchiha who went an entire millennium doing black zetsu/kaguya's bidding. the shinobi code literally states that they are tools who are meant to repress their emotions 💀

i mean i don't really pay much attention to what other sasuke fans do so ig i'm kinda confused what i'm supposed to do with this.. like i agree but also i don't think i've ever posited him as a master revolutionary anarchist and i think it's hard to expect that of a sixteen year old who is for the most part reacting on impulse due to being subjected to traumatic violence. like it definitely puts him on the path to the right realizations about village leadership and the facetious excuses made for maintaining "order" but no sixteen year old is going to have a coherent political philosophy at his disposal regardless of his own intentions. had the existence of naruto's post-canon not been so much about continuing to supply kishi with a source of income (and had the series in general not had so much of its foundations in nationalism) i like to think in some imaginary world we would have gotten a sasuke with a now more mental and emotional clarity certainly maintaining his grievances but also learning to navigate the solutions to them more practically and with the input of more people around him etc. i say this quite often but naruto to me is a series where every character starts way under the x-axis on a line graph and steadily makes their way right up to it by the end. by the time the war is over they're in a place to look back and assess and understand how the system they've been subjected to for millennia is severely flawed to the point they need to uproot it and start fresh. but that's a zero-line they'd be starting from and obv the only really revolutionary progress they'd be making along those lines so they could start a path upward from that x-axis is probably in fanfic bc you'll never lose the overwhelming nationalism element from the original series (which sasuke is right to oppose regardless of his actual means of doing so). and after fiteen grueling years of publication kishi is not going to go to the trouble of completely breaking down the exploitative inter-village structure maintained by the various daimyo that enforce the military industrial complex's existence despite every part of his narrative logically taking him there. but we can do that as fans and i know it's something i personally wanted to do with a fic series i started writing a couple of years ago (where ironically enough i did begin to address what you're talking about re: sasuke's immature political philosophy)

i will say i don't think naruto and sakura's position with respect to the shinobi structure is the same as that of people like madara and obito. naruto and sakura are through and through tools of nationalism. i don't think that's so much a personal flaw as it is a reflection of how effective the structure is that it keeps shinobi's loyalties to nations first rather than to people in general bc daimyo and such are always creating petty conflicts which grow into great conflicts by which to continue sowing discord between nations. naruto and sakura in theory are supposed to counteract that long-maintained loyalty bc they are the characters with loyalties to people first as evinced by their relationship with sasuke. but that tension that their love for sasuke has with their own personal aspirations (acceptance by konoha for naruto and success as a female nin for sakura) is never really explored to its fullest extent within canon so you end up having a niche of sasuke fans who call them sellouts as a result. obito and madara in comparison have issues that have nothing to even do with nationalism. they are very blatantly not nationalists. but their problem is that they're so sick of what standards they're expected to live by bc of the senseless violence and such that as an alternative they seek delusional ends of utopian non-conflict as a resolution. that's why i think sasuke is in a way a very cleverly placed character despite his grievances ultimately losing out or becoming irrelevant in the end. he's the only one with a mind to really uproot the system itself (well aside from the og akatsuki but i mean. that's another essay and obv the og akatsuki is donezo by the end of the series). sure his way of positing that revolution is a bit delusional but as i already mentioned what sixteen year old is really going to have a coherent plan in mind beyond starting the revolution in the first place. he's far from perfect but he's important as a figurehead of the change that needs to come bc what madara and obito want isn't change. they want escape. obito esp. and i think that is initially what sasuke wants as well. to simply kill everyone he loves and then die knowing no one else can be taken from him. but ironically finding out the truth about itachi from obito is what makes him change course and recognize that escape is meaningless. and i think there's a lot of directions you can take with that in post-canon divergence as a fan

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

@paradisecost ----> Arthur and Darcy

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Hi!!

I'm here again with another request :)

For the gotham villains hc: how would they be in a polyamorous (again :) srry but i'm obsessed), i mean how would they act? Something will change? Will they become more jealous? I hope its clear ':)

(Specifically the roman sionis x reader x joker bc its my favourite yk... *embarassed face*)

(Only if you are comfortable obv)

Thank you so much anyways, i LOVE your blog <333

Hello againnnn, you are very welcome ❤️ I'll be using the same examples as last time if that's okay? Please let me know if I've gotten something wrong with polyamory. I know very little details and this is just my interpretation of how the characters would manage it.

The Riddler: He really cannot handle you having feelings for someone else. Like his possessiveness, narcissism etc just won't allow it. It will definitely make him more competitive around Scarecrow and the mere sight of him makes Edward incredibly angry. He just can't shake the feeling Scarecrow is stealing you from him. That often sends him into spirals, was he just not enough for you? Did you not understand the genius he really is? He feels he has to prove himself and diminish your feelings to Jonathan as to which...Good luck with that Edward.

Scarecrow: Openly he doesn't show any upset. Whilst he might hold you at arms length somewhat, he simply can't give himself to you completely, worried that he'll lose you. Plus he knew what Edward was like. That kind of gave Jonathan pleasure. The knowledge that your feelings for both men would be ripping Edward apart from the inside. However, he tolerates your love for both men and if that makes you happy then so be it. Although he would only be able to handle that there is one other partner other than him. If you brought another into the situation then Jonathan would probably leave. Jonathan -as well as Edward- were neglected emotionally so naturally they do better with relationship that are monogamous and they have all the attention, not worrying that they give their all to someone, only for that person to leave or have favourites. Jonathan just won't do competition in that regard. He'll just leave.

Two-Face: Pretty okay with polyamory since there is technically two of him. So bringing Oswald into the picture didn't really bother him on that point. He just found Cobblepot annoying, personally. Like of all people it had to be him? Although deep down, both know that they can trust Oswald to keep you safe and happy. Just like he could count on Oswald to be a dick and act like he's better at him at everything and that Dent won't just kick him in the face one day.

Penguin: Personally finds it easier to run his business knowing you won't constantly be alone. After all, you have Two-Face too. Although sometimes it becomes like a weird custody battle. He'll phone Dent demanding to know you're alright and where you are. Or he'll decide to take time off so ditch Harvey and spend time with him. You have to remind the two at times that you also have a phone and they simply just have to phone or text if they're worried. Yes it did take pointing out the similarities to a bitter custody battle between who gets the kid on holidays and weekends for Oswald to tone it down. All three of you could admit that was a little weird of a dynamic to have. Yet sometimes he just couldn't help himself.

Black Mask: He knew what he was getting into when you two became official...BUT THE CLOWN? The most loving statement Roman could give the Joker is that sometimes he just wants to strangle him to death rather than slowly and brutally murder him. For Roman that's a big step! However all that goes out the window when you get upset or sadded because the Joker is off in his own little world and has, again, forgotten you exist. Over and over again, it's you chasing after him and Roman is tired for you. He's tried convincing you to leave the Joker. You haven't budged. It drives him nuts. Although there is a downside to this relationship with Roman. A deal he made with you showing he was really in it for himself. He allowed you to have relationships with others- the Joker- but in return he got to have his own fun. He claims to find it only fair. That surely if you could look elsewhere then so could he. It completely goes over his head that he's talking about hook ups, strippers and prostitutes. Whilst you're relationships we're actually consented to by all parties and long term. This wasn't the same thing as sleeping around. Yeah...need to work out some details but even if he fights you on it, he hasn't actually cheated on you. So his actions were very different from his words there. Plus his jealousy is through the roof any time you even

Joker: So he's the most chill of them all but the worst of them all. If he does love you, he certainly doesn't act like it most of the time as he seems to forget you every three minutes. It causes a lot of strain in the relationship between you two and often leaves you upset. Naturally you then run off to Roman and that puts heat between Roman and the Joker. Its honestly just a big mess. As for his view on sharing you with Roman, he doesn't care. He'll often make jokes about you liking the more rough types. Yes, including that way. Let's not sit and pretend the Joker has a filter. He's always happy to see you, he just forgets you exist with every move he makes. Does it help if I said he appreciates you?

[baltears]

hello spookyshai!! its cool if u dont want to, but i was wonderin if you'd elaborate on what you like about william? i just like thinking about/mentally rewriting westworld and its characters in my free time, and your fascination with william's got me fascinated, mostly bc i see him as a stinky bastard. so obvs you'd definitely have a more nuanced take on him, which i'd also like to develop for the imaginary westworld rewrite fic that i'm never going to write ;)) regardless if u answer or not, just wanted to say i'm a fan of your blog and i hope you're havin a good day!!

omg so first of all thank you so so much for sending this, especially asking unprompted about a character you don't even like and giving me a chance to explain my feelings about him which is just incredibly cool of you. i love and am obsessed with william so giving me any excuse to talk about him at length is like gifting me $1000. if you want to know more about my meta thoughts about him after reading this, (I'm gonna talk A Lot – sorry – but i can't possibly get through everything because he's just a very complicated guy and it's a very dense show), you can always look in my william tag. I have a lot of text posts about him, but I also often talk a lot in the tags of my own posts as well as reblogs. This is gonna be a lot of totally disorganized and unedited infodumping of a lot of different meta, but i've talked about all of it at length elsewhere too and I can also totally elaborate more if you have any specific questions (you could send another ask if you wanted, but also feel free to just message me about it anytime). I'll do my best not to get too emotional (lol) but it'll be tough because this character is so close to my heart. but I'll try!

this is a huge wall of text lol so i'll also be adding more bold and italics than i normally would just to make it a little easier to read.

so first of all let's be clear, he completely is a stinky bastard. he is a horrible, awful, faithless, pathetic specimen of a man. not liking him is totally justified. just wanted to get that out of the way. personally I think not liking anything for any reason is totally valid and justified, but there are certainly good reasons why a lot of people don't like william. he is not a good dude, at least not after a certain point. No one is obligated to relate to him, empathize with him, feel bad for him, whatever... like, no one's obligated to like anything, but especially this guy. sometimes people can get a little shirty about the fact that i do, like me liking him means i think they have to. I don't think that. I do love finding other william stans, and i am very unapologetic and open about my love for him, but him being widely hated makes complete sense to me.

sigh like why i love him so much though… it's kind of hard to even put into words. on one level it's just extremely personal, like, there are a lot of things about him that i really resonate with and identify with, although I know that sounds weird (it's definitely gotten some very shocked reactions before, lol). i'm a villain liker in general, i tend to be able to relate to those types of characters easily and it kind of takes a lot for me to really dislike one on a personal level (though that's true of any sort of character, i just tend to like the majority of the characters in any work that i genuinely enjoy regardless of how shitty they are – to me the only truly bad thing a character can be is annoying, like, the kind of annoying where you just want them off your screen). Characters being any degree of evil or shitty or problematic doesn't bug me at all, personally, I tend to feel no deep internal urge to have them 'held accountable' for the things they do, unless they exist in a narrative that genuinely doesn't seem to understand that they are in the wrong, which does irritate me when it happens. But anyway, I don't want to get too oversharey but there's definitely a very high level of just personal resonance to the character for me in terms of the kinds of conflicts he has, the things he struggles with, the dominant emotions of his life, etc. so that's part of it. also though he's just… a very complex and beautifully constructed piece of character work, so I also love him just on a technical level as a writer.

He has such incredible significance in the story too, being the thematic representative of humanity, both to dolores and to the wider narrative – his capabilities for good and evil are humanity's capabilities for good and evil, right. Dolores' opinion of humanity and feelings towards humanity are very colored by her opinion of him and her feelings towards him, and thematically their relationship is sort of a microcosm of the broader relationship between hosts and humanity and very much a central piece of the narrative. Even when it's out of direct focus it's being constantly referenced and pointed back to, such as with the caleb storyline in season 3 – caleb himself is basically one big callback to william in s3, parallels out the wazoo, and his function of turning around dolores' opinion on humans is very much related to him reminding her of william – hence why her storyline in season 3 ends with her remarking on how her memories of william as a young man indicate to her that humanity is capable of goodness, because caleb's capacity to choose echoes william's capacity to choose, caleb's goodness echoes william's goodness, it all goes back to that, etc.

So… I guess I'll just jump in lol. William's Thing, the fulcrum of his character, the main feeling or sentiment that underlies all of his evil actions and kind of his general turn away from the kind and gentle person he used to be, is alienation, right. He lives his whole life (as he tells dolores in 1x07) not fitting in anywhere, not making connections anywhere, not having any sort of community or any experience with love or companionship of any kind… he's just been totally alone and alienated his entire life. like, the closest thing he had to a friend was logan, and he hates logan. I think this is the major thing people miss about him – there's this perception that his turning evil was out of some form of entitlement, that he was just angry that this woman he liked didn't like him back and it's just an issue of wounded masculinity, but to me that completely misses the mark. Like yes wounded masculinity is a piece of his character (the way he performs and weaponizes masculinity in general is… really fascinating, I'll go into a bit more detail about it, but the kind of showy machismo that he displays is definitely a tool that he intentionally developed for his own use rather than a really integral part of who he is) but it's not at all the core emotion happening there.

To William, Dolores was not only a person he was in love with or a person he was attracted to. She was also his first and only genuine human connection ever. She was his first true friend, she was his first love, she was the first suggestion anywhere in his life that it was even possible at all for him to experience a sort of deep mutual understanding and care, that somebody could actually genuinely see him and let him see them. He literally just had not ever experienced any level of real emotional intimacy before, which is a feeling i actually think a lot of people relate to if they grew up feeling very lonely. And then ultimately not only was that relationship taken away, but it was kind of retroactively deleted. When he saw her again back in sweetwater, his thought was not, "i don't have this relationship anymore," but "i never had this relationship," and further, "the single person i've ever thought i could have this kind of relationship with is actually not capable of having any kind of relationship with anyone, including me, and i literally just made all of this up in my head." After losing Dolores he is not just sad and lonely – he literally comes to the conclusion that he can never have any kind of intimate human connection or be genuinely loved, ever, because the one person in his entire life he thought he connected with is not even a person at all, but just a thing. It's very much a rug pull moment on a level that's hard to describe, it kind of takes some thought-experimenting to get to that emotional place because it's a level of shock and hurt and betrayal and like, paradigm-shifting that most of us don't regularly experience (which I think might be part of the reason why a lot of people don't seem to really understand his character or be able to parse what's going on with him emotionally). Suffice it to say it's a wound deep enough that he was pretty much never going to recover from it.

After that happens he is completely destabilized, he loses all sense of meaning and self, and he never gets a grip on it again. He had totally reconstructed his idea of his life to include the genuine possibility of meaning, and meaningful relationships, when he met Dolores. And with the loss of her, all of that suddenly went away and he basically was just left with nothing. So that alienation that he grew up with is now not just a part of his life, not just a thing that he suffers from, but he starts to feel that it's inherent to him and that it comes from him, which is partly why we start getting all the anti-social behavior he displays later in life. He develops and kind of fosters that lack of empathy in himself not because he's truly incapable of empathy (as we see when he's a young man and at a couple of later points here and there, he is in fact very capable of it) but because he feels fundamentally cut off from other people – he can't reach them and they can't reach him.

So that fundamental sense of alienation is really what informs 90% of the things he does after that point. He starts building this persona, inside and outside the park. The real world feels meaningless to him at this point because the only hint of meaning he's ever had in his life was in the park, so he buys the park, and simultaneously starts trying to "win" at life in the real world like he would in the park. The real world honestly doesn't feel any more real to him than the park does, he just knows rationally that it's different and so he behaves differently outside the park… he builds all this wealth and power for himself, he becomes a famous philanthropist. Inside the park he starts creating this character for himself, this sort of hyper-masculine, hyper-competent, totally emotionally composed, merciless, badass villain. And he makes a very concerted effort to stay in this persona as often as he can.

It's all a performance, though, right. As early as 1x05 we have Ford pointing out (to his face! legend) that his barely-hidden desperation to find meaning in the park is giving the game away. In that flashback near the end of 2x02 we get a glimpse of what's underneath, because he's performing this cold, heartless persona in front of Dolores literally while his voice is shaking because he's having to try hard not to start crying as he's talking to her. Deep down he is still very wounded, he still loves her, he still desperately wishes deep down (as jimmi simpson explained) for her to just tell him that all of it was real, for her to be real and truly be a person the way he thought she was. When he's an older man that wish is still in there, it's just been buried very deep, covered up with a lot of other things, twisted. But it's always there, it's his most closely held desire, the only thing he truly wants, and it comes out all the time in the things he does. All his tormenting of dolores, and especially his desire to make the park "real" in order to find meaning – that's that. That sense of deep confusion that's always there in his character too, the constant inner monologue of "who am I, what does this mean, does anything mean anything, what is real or not real, what is going on," that's that too, that's his destabilized sense of self and reality and meaning that came out of losing Dolores. And by this point he has also come to feel, as he says in 2x09 to his wife, that there is something very fundamentally wrong with him, in a way that's kind of at odds with how we as the audience have historically understood him.

The thing is, we saw him be a kind, loving, gentle, thoughtful person. He certainly was not perfect, for instance his later narcissism started out as a sort of basic self-centeredness, but he was a fundamentally good-hearted person who put most of his energy into trying to do the right thing. But he starts saying that he feels like that wasn't the real him, that he thinks deep down he was evil and poisonous all along, that his turn to darkness was inevitable, and that there's a sort of helplessness to his evil. There's this deep sense of shame that permeates his character along with his loneliness and alienation and resentment. He hates everything, he hates the world, but above all he hates himself – kind of amusing considering the god complex he's developed over time. But that really does seem to be the underlying emotion, that he truly thinks that deep down he was always bad. It's very heavily implied that his philanthropy outside the park and his attention to his family, his kind of good-guy persona, is something that he constructed to try and make up for his true nature, and all but stated that he doesn't feel like he's succeeded. To him, no amount of good he does will ever balance his level of evil, evil that as he says doesn't come from anything he's done but something deeper than that, something immutable, something he is. So that's why we eventually have him getting to the point of going "I might as well not bother with this anymore. I might as well just be evil, because I can't change what I am."

I've also said in other posts that the things Juliet says to him come off as obviously abusive. Like, she's technically correct that there's some sinister things going on with his private life, but listen to how she says it. You're a virus, not a person, a thing that mindlessly infects and destroys and has no other purpose. And he agrees with her! He doesn't question it at all, he just says, yes, you're exactly right, I'm not a human being with good and bad attributes, or potential to do both right and wrong. I'm a virus. Like, again, I know people get weird about having empathy for villain characters, there's the whole "cool motive, still murder," thing, because we don't want to be excusing anyone's bad actions with a sad backstory (personally I don't really care, but I understand where the concern comes from). But when he said that to Juliet it just… like I don't know how else to put it, it broke my heart. He really believes that about himself. And later he starts to question it because he's not sure anymore if he actually chose to do any of the things he did… but the way his hallucination of Emily puts it, these are his two options: you are evil, or you had no choice. One or the other. He never puts aside the idea that he is a monster that does not deserve to live, and his suicidality persists from season one (when he encourages Dolores to shoot him in the head and reacts with honest disappointment when she can't) to the end of season four when he actually does manage to engineer his own death. He is deeply, agonizingly, pathetically miserable existing the way that he is, he seems to see his even being allowed to live at all as some sort of cosmic injustice. But he doesn't know how to change back to the way he was.

All that having happened, though, we also keep getting these repeated suggestions in the story that he actually is still capable of goodness somewhere in there. The narrative keeps asking what William is exactly, what his fundamental nature is, and keeps refusing to land on one answer, instead choosing to keep things ambiguous in a way that would be sort of odd for your garden variety villain. In 2x04 we see him experiencing regret, feeling empathy and pain on behalf of others, and acting genuinely heroic, only to later backtrack and say it didn't mean anything. In 2x09 Emily tells him he is in his essence "a lie" but makes no attempt to locate what the "truth" of him would then be. In 3x06 he tries to figure out the answer to what's going on with him again only to decide he still doesn't really know, in 3x08 we get this reminder that he still stands for Dolores as a representation of both humanity's evil and its goodness, in 4x05 when his host duplicate asks him what he is, he says "Jury's still out." He is too far down his current path to turn back, but he still does not and cannot definitively and finally choose evil, because despite his self-loathing it seems like he senses deep down that his other side is still in there. All that to say I think he's getting a redemption arc in season 5, if we get a season 5 – season 5 is supposed to be the do-over season, and the character who most desperately needs and could most benefit from a do-over is William.

Um, closing thoughts… I think he's really funny. Sometimes intentionally, like, I do laugh at his little quippy comments, but I also just think it's really funny how pathetic he is and what a mess he is and how he basically imploded his entire life on accident. I do feel a lot of very genuine care and empathy for him (obviously), but he's also such a garbage fire of a human being that you sometimes just have to laugh. He's just my funny little guy, also he sucks, also I love him and he's my lil angel, also he's the worst man ever in history and deserves to be drawn and quartered (said with love). You get it. :) There's dimensions.

Trying to think of other characterization notes for your imaginary fic… oh, did you notice he puts on an accent in the park? He does this fake Southern drawl when he's playing his park character, but it's not his real accent and he drops it at other times, kind of like how Dolores sometimes does or doesn't use her "rancher's daughter" accent when she's being Wyatt in season 2. Uh… Total nerd, at heart, seeing as "all he had as a kid were books." (I kind of suspect that childhood memory might not have been totally real, by the way… made a post about that recently that's a little ways down in my tag if you're interested.)

There are more things I could say, but I think I've probably gone on long enough for the one ask lol so I'll cut it off here. Thank you again, so much, for sending this. I hope you enjoyed and got something out of this response, but if not I still do very much appreciate you asking and being curious. I hope you had a great day too!

[softxhariana]

34+35 live stream

description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.

word count: 2.22k

A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x

also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.

❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox

❖   "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.

“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.

“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.

and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.

ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.

everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.

 she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.

“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”

“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf

“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.

“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do. 

after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.” 

continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.

“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.

“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.

“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you” 

ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,

“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”

“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed 

“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,

“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction

“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.

she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.

while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world. 

of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)

"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”

caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.

“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username, 

“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.

“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,

“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”

~~~~~~~~~

"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.

“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!” 

ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record

“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.

🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x