#NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK BUT OLD ENOUGH TO EVIL AHAH

[kommandonuovidiavoli]

1986.

In the last months of operations, Sector Ʌ receives a help call from overseas, from America. The caller identifies as the missing Sector Z.

Excited at the idea of having found their lost friends, Numbuh 444A, Numbuh 444B and Numbuh 445 immediately leave to reach the point where the call was coming from.

During the flight, 444A and 444B get into a heated argument on whether they should call KND Moonbase before going and let them think about it or actually go on and check themselves. In the end, they keep going as 444A stands his ground as leader and orders his brother to "shut up and fly".

But as the two argue, 5 figures approach them.

As they arrive, they find themselves in front of a big manor that looks... vacant.

The twins go first, asking 445 to watch their back. As the two enter, the doors behind them close, separating them from their girlfriend. 444A orders her to go call for reinforces, and he's left in that big, empty place with a pretty upset 444B, who points out how he was RIGHT in wanting to have Moonbase taking care of this.

"You found us..." they say in unison, reminding them of something they used to do, too. "You found us... you saved us..." the voices repeat in a low, menacing monotone.

As the figures come closer, they realise that they... are not... SectoZ.

Not anymore.

And the worst had yet to present himself to them.

[nei-ning]

(a dream. I like to write my dreams down here)

In last night’s dream I was in big subway station which was empty. It was night as well so only some lights were on. While it was subway station, it was very difficult place with many levels and rooms. For a some reason there was Archie comic turtles, at least Michelangelo and Raphael (young versions). Raph and I went in a room where was a table and it had 4 sunk water “squares”. Raphael took a plastic cup and water in it from one of them. He was going to drink it but Mikey jumped at the doorway behind the wall with evil smirk, screaming something like; “Hah! You fool! That water was poisoned (by him) and now you’re going to die!” But when he realized Raphael still held the mug and hadn’t drink any, he ran away. Raph tossed mug away and ran after him (going for beat or kill) while I stood there looking after them. I was thinking how lucky Raphael was since, even if he would had drink the water, he took it from the ONLY square which had not been poisoned. That’s the feeling I got.

I left and went after those two but I ended up on some red lighted factory area with lots of railings etc. I was going down some metal stairs when I saw Behemoth from Final Fantasy games going in one “tent” shaped room which had purple light in it. I knew he was good but I was avoiding him since I knew if he saw me, he would want to fight with me since it would had helped me to grow, become stronger - and I knew I wouldn’t be able to beat him ‘cause I didn’t had anything (no weapons, armors, items etc.) so I ran, ahah. I think he felt a bit sad that I avoided him tho. He wouldn’t had beat me bad / kill me, no!

Then I came in a bit more new looking subway station area and I stood near 3 stairs right next to pillar. I don’t know how or why I had gotten in this situation but I was holding old future Raphael by his neck, trying to prevent him from breathing. Not all that strongly (because I don’t have much strength in my fingers anyway) but enough for him to loose his hold on younger Mikey. I didn’t see Mikey, I didn’t see how OF Raph was holding him but still I knew he was keeping Mikey against the wall, arm pressed sideways on Mikey’s neck. OF Raph was looking past me and he looked so worried / concerned as he softly said; “Son. Boy.” He aimed his words to younger Leonardo who had snapped. I didn’t see him since I kept my eyes on OF Raph but I felt he was slightly behind me with younger Raphael. Apparently Leo had become so nuts he was honestly aiming to kill young Raph and was strangling him. Raph clearly was so close of passing out already.

I have no idea WHAT had happened between boys or WHY Mikey and Leo wanted Raph death but old future Raphael, clearly, had come to stop it. I don’t know where Don was but based on the fact there only was young Raph, Leo and Mikey and only OF Raph... I think in OF Raph’s past / world those 3 did kill each other, Don included. If they would had been alive I’m sure OF Raph would had had at least old Don with him. And if Leo and Mikey now would had killed young Raphael, it would had mean that OF Raph would die too.

[godtier-fics]

sammya kei’s 2016 fanfiction review

it’s time for something no one asked for but yet since when do i care about people other than me

it’s time for a new tradition! i’m going to take a trip down memory lane and talk about my top 10 fanfics from last year and go into depth about my top five! 

top ten (in no particular order): 

Stumbling Boy, The History of the World in Your Arms, the heart of an artist, Working Man, Dissolution, The Catch Up Game, Finding You Wherever You Are, taking the last train home, To the Moon and Back, onward

i picked these ten as my faves cuz when i look back at myself in 2016 these are what i’m most proud of. they each show off what i think is my ever evolving writing skills. 

now let’s look in depth at my top five! look at those below the cut! 

5) onward

lemme state for the record that i...i love aqua with all my heart and soul. i fell in love with her character in 2010 and i haven’t stopped loving and wishing her the best since. when kingdom hearts 0.2 was announced i almost cried. when the video for the opening came out i literally cried. however...onward is not a happy fic. i’m not someone who can sit down and write mushy gushy stuff. 

take this passage for example

Her name is Aqua. She repeats that to herself daily. Not that there is a daily, so maybe she repeats it more often than she realizes.

“My name is Aqua. I saved Terra. I have to go home. I have to wake up Ven.”

These words become her mantra. They get her through it, even has hoarse as it leaves her voice.

onward was just written cuz i was realizing that the first ever kh fic i had ever written was facade which was literally about the main villain of the series having sex and turning evil. anyway, aqua deserves more and maybe in 2017 i’ll find time to write her a nice long fic. we’ll see. 

i’m just nervous about writing her cuz i love her so much....

4) Stumbling Boy

this is part of the dysfunctional family funtimes series and is one of my faves that i wrote in 2016! it’s the mid-brother fic to nadia’s fic from 2015 aka Separation Anxiety that she needs to finish...which i hope she finishes...but we’ll see lol. it’s all about ginshi dealing with his brother’s disappearance and i just am crying because why is ginshi canonly dead and i cannot deal...MOVING ON 

my fave passage from this would be...

People thought that Ginshi tumbled through life, stumbling upon things, but he didn’t, not really. He did do some things deliberately and with care. When he was working on a car, he was able to lose himself. He threw himself into studying, and watched his understanding grow. He’d always liked fussing around with cars, but having a job that he was getting paid to do it at was different. He was different.

And to show that, to really show that he was different, that he was changed, he decided he needed to find something to change about himself physically.

So that when Urie did return, he could point at it and say, “Look, I made my own choice too!”

Stumbling Boy was something that i think i wrote in 2015 and then posted in 2016 but even still...it was nice to rework it and post it. i can’t wait to finish the dff series...

3) taking the last train home 

originally posted under one of my many, many pen names....this was supposed to be a hardcore BDSM fanfic. it...it’s not going to be that. i’m sorry. i’m a disappointment. i am too sex repulsed to do that to myself. so i moved it over to this account. 

anyway...this isn’t just a fic about sex which is why i got really, really annoyed with some comments i was getting. like...the first sexual scene doesn’t even happen till chapter 8 aka over 11K words later....so okay fandom...whatever. anyway that fic is locked to anyone who doesn’t have an ao3 account but enjoy this snippet! 

“If you need me to stop just tell me so, all right?”

“Because I’m going to get so overwhelmed by a kiss on my cheek.”

Yao pushes up on his chin and grins down at him, “You’ll get overwhelmed all right.” Those are bold words, Alfred thinks, but doesn’t get a chance to say so before Yao kisses him.

taking the last train home still has a quite a few more chapters to be posted and i hope everyone enjoys the ride. it’s probably going to end up being the longest amechu fanfic on ao3 that’s completely about amechu with them as the endgame? so...yay for that. #actuallymarried indeed

2) The History of the World in Your Arms

this used to hold the title of my longest amechu fic posted...but then taking the last train home came along and stole that title...ahah. anyway. i wrote this in order to figure out WHY i shipped amechu and maybe talk others into shipping it too? 

rereading it makes me wanna die...and i wanna rewrite it but i’ll resist for now. 

anyway here’s TWO snippets from the fic that i love! 

here’s from yao’s pov 

Yao looks at him, lying in Yao’s bed as if he belongs there, as if he’s always belonged right there against the pillows, and says simply, “Then that’s a fair exchange.”

“What is?”

“My ruin for your ruin.”

“Are you saying I’ve ruined you?” Alfred demands, looking confused. Which is a look that suits him.

“Yes,” Yao says, “you’ve ruined me.”

and the second one from alfred’s pov 

“It would be so much easier if I just hated you and wanted you gone. But I don’t.”

“You don’t?” Alfred tries not to sound so surprised by that, and fails. Yao looks hurt, and sighs.

“I don’t hate you,” he says quietly, “I told you years ago that I loved you, didn’t I?”

i can’t help but see a canonverse relationship as them being very, very rocky and uneasy but then they settle into something that goes beyond them and we eventually get to a point where they get married....and yeah i’m not over that picture. i could cry....

1) Finding You Wherever You Are 

speaking of art--and specifically of art that izzy has done--i’m still not over the leash in this picture after i told her i was JOKING. this fic holds a special place in my heart due to several inside jokes i have with izzy being in it. for those who are still reading at this point i’ll let you in on two of them! 

1) yao telling alfred “i know” when they’re doing something sexual or about to 

2) please mock izzy for dogfred this isn’t an inside joke this is just something i need others to make fun of her for at this point smh 

um yeah moving on 

this entire fic is basically aesthetic actually? bad boy rolls into town and finds his true love? CHECK! reincarnation? CHECK! royalty? CHECK! blood drinking? vampires? monsters? oh my??? CHECK!!! 

fave comment i got on this fic was someone stunned at the world building i did in 13K+ i’m honestly surprised too? i wrote this fic in like...a day. and by a day i mean 10-11 hours. with a sprained arm. go me? 

anyway fave snippets in no particular order!!!! 

1) 

“May I?” Yao asked, and he sounded so polite as if he were asking for something normal and not permission to lick blood off of Alfred’s hand.

“Um,” Alfred looked down at his boss, and then at the stove which was on the opposite side of the kitchen (how had he moved that fast, the fuck ) and shrugged, “Yeah, sure.”

Yao’s touch was tender as he pressed his lips to the back of Alfred’s hand and licked at the blood that was coating it. Alfred had never realized how sensitive his hands were until he got unlucky enough to have Yao devote his full attention to licking and sucking against the skin. Yao sucked one, and then two of his fingers into his mouth and gave them a wet suck, and Alfred realized that he was standing in his boss’s kitchen, with his fingers in his boss’s mouth, and he was hard. His breath was coming out loud and heavy to his own ears as Yao continued, seemingly oblivious to the effect that he was having on Alfred. But then Yao looked up at him, with three of Alfred’s fingers in his mouth and smirked.

He smirked, slid Alfred’s fingers out of his mouth, and then licked finally at the bleeding wounds. As Alfred watched him, and as Yao watched his hand the wounds sluggishly stopped bleeding.

“You should still wrap that up,” Yao said as he dropped a kiss to Alfred’s knuckles. “Learn how to control your temper, Alfred.”

2) 

“Where to next, your majesty?”

“Says the noble.” Wang got on the bike behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist once more. “Do you know the way back home?”

“I’m like a lord yeah but I’m pretty sure you were a king in your past life.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong ,” Wang said.

Alfred grinned, “How old are you anyway?”

“Far, far too old for this. Take me home, pup.”

3) 

“You are a wonder, Alfred,” Yao said. He sounded sad and fond as he said that. Alfred’s heart ached .

“So are you, thousands of years old and you still wanna change the world.”

“The world can be changed, Alfred, never doubt that.”

Alfred laughed, and then in disbelief at himself said, “I have full faith in your abilities.”

4) 

Alfred helped him put the bracelet on, and then kissed him. He growled low in his throat.

“Yeah,” Yao said. “I know. Look at you, all nice and collared and mine .” He looped his fingers in the golden buckle and made Alfred follow him back to the sofa.

“Look at you,” Alfred said, torn between the leather of the bracelet around Yao’s wrist and Yao’s face for which he wanted to look at more.

okay....

as you can see even tho i make fun of izzy constantly for dogfred i do really like this fic? it’s a bit rushed in places??? but tbh it gets the job done and gets it done nicely! good job me. 

so that’s my trip down memory lane! yeah. i just love writing and i like writing fanfics? but i will be moving on to original writing on my site starting this month and you can support me on patreon. i’ll keep writing fanfics but those will be low on my ranking of priorities. 

here’s to an amazing 2017! 

also if we breakdown my fics for 2016....55% of what i wrote was amechu. i’m in too deep. i blame izzy. 

later! 

sk

[hoodie-rabbit]

The boxes project is finished, here’s some favorites

REX WINSHIP

Occupation: Money manager, Boss

Education: Capitalism

Age: Old?

Hobbies: Money, Money, disrespecting women, loving america, capitalism, Golf and you know I’m right, yoga but only the cool poses, outsmarting the government, loving men, loving men a lot like ok pal, being in the right, being leader, work

This is Rex. He likes money. He loves it so much he believes he has the hottest fucking dick around because he manages it. He doesn’t hear what he says as wrong, he believes every word that comes out of his stupid mouth.

His monologue speaks about how he loves his job oh so very much he loves it to bits because he loves money. Rex notes that people hate him. Good. I hate him. I would choke him. But how does he take it. Compliments. You could tell this man he is the worst at his job and he should perish and he’d pat your head fire you from your job say thank you.

This man is so awful, he loves the Rockefeller and Mellons ‘legacy’. Of course I mean they’re big strong men with money right? Disgusting. I hate him.

What’s odd is how he hates the government in a way. Or at least doesn’t follow it because he states he tricks the government to get by. I get that. But he’s like whatever tho am I right, don’t come in the morning.

Here’s the kicker, he wants to be a teacher. He thinks that once he’s done being a money manager he can just quit and join the teaching world like it’s nothing. Rex thinks because he’s a rich guy with experience running a busy, he can run a classroom. Bullshit. You can’t just hop into teaching like it’s nothing.

This good for nothing son of a bitch can’t even run his goddamn office right, hiring people who are a mess and doing yoga whenever he feels. I hate this man.

Things that we as a mess have decided: Rex has a son. He was maybe married to housewife????? He pays someone to drive him to work in his own car by one of his own employees, Rose Hoffman was his old school teacher.

Disgusting man hate him.

Appears three times, first after Traffic Jam in short scene which leads to Lovin’ Al, second before Nobody Tells me How, third in the fucking middle of It’s an Art

Rating: Hard to play if you hate everything he stands for. Easy to play if you want to be a dick.

ENID DUBOIS

Occupation: Telemarketer

Education: Lies

Age: Young

Hobbies: Lies

I really just want to move please forgive me.

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep]

A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible.

The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start..The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding]

Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Joins Heather and Sharon a little later after Brother Trucker

Rating: Lying about the blind

JOE ZUTTY

Occupation: Retired

Equation: I bet it’s somewhere.

Age: 60? Man his timeline is just as messed up. I would bet he’s like 200. Fuck it.

Hobbies: Cooking eggs? Watching fire like a sadistic fuck? What does this man do apparently???

I feel like we brush past the fact this man’s wife is dead. I’m pull some sad shit here because my brain is like a thin slice of water right now I can’t think what to type. It’s either this or you cook an egg like 5656 times.

HIS WIFE IS DEAD OH MY GOD OK. THIS POOR FUCKER LOST HIS WIFE. HE'S NOT LIKE THAT OLD TOO BTW. 60 IS PRETTY YOUNGISH. YEAH YOU'RE OVER THE HALFWAY POINT BUT OH MY GOD HIS WIFE WAS LIKE THE SAME AGE AS HIM. DOES HE LIKE WATCH FIRES BECAUSE HIS WIFE DIED IN A FIRE?????

I’m not going to ignore this fact. You can’t hide this fact from me. His wife is dead ok? That’s like really upsetting to me. You have this man just chilling and he slips in a casual “My wife is dead yeah hahaha you cook an egg am i right hjfhjf” what the actual fuck.

I’m gonna lose it what the fuck happened. Joe what the fuck are you hiding.

Sometimes he sounds like people think he’s lying. Dude you’re old people have to believe you.

Rating: uhhhh ahah cook egg wife.

CONRAD SWIBEL

Occupation: UPS delivery man

Education: Not enough

Age: 20

Hobbies: Creeping, disrespecting women, kicking dogs, yelling

This man is the worst. He’s cheeriy, kind but the worst. Conard is the man for the woman’s titter and not for the dogs.

Conard’s monologue is weird. He just says things so nonchalant. He focuses on how it’s hard to manage dogs on his deliveries and how he is ‘interested’ in the women. First half is the dogs. He is perked, scared of a dog off on stage and explains how hard it is. How does he manage? When no one is listening he beats them. Kicking them off of him like a rude human being. Evil. Second half is weird. He remarks how when there's a cute girl he marks ‘Q’ next to their address. Please think about that. Conrad also scares women in swimsuits so he can see the breasts.

This character is a clear challenge to anyone who respects women.

Who allowed him to be like this.

“You have to make excitement for yourself, you know?”

Comes in after Un Mejor Dia Vendra, Scaring Kate, Setting up Just a Housewife

Rating: Good luck, stinky man

RALPH WERNER

Occupation: Salesman

Education: Highschool

Age: 19

Hobbies: Being a baby Rex.

Hi! Billy Mays here for OxiClean, the stain specialist, powered by the air you breathe, activated by the water that you and I drink. It’s Mother Nature-approved and it’s safe on your colored fabrics. Use it on carpets. OxiClean seeks out organic stains, pet stains, food stains. it gets down into the matting, into the padding. It even takes red wine and grape juice out of white carpeting. It cleans, it brightens, it eliminates odors all at the same time. Don’t just get it clean, get it OxiClean. Make a paste.

Make it 10 times as powerful! The longer you let it set, the easier it is. It will whiten your grout and get rid of your toughest stains. Sometimes soaking is the solution. If you use bleach, you’ll ruin your clothes!

OxiClean won’t hurt the material -- even lace! It has the power of bleach without the damaging side effects of chlorine. When your laundry detergent just isn’t enough, super charge it with OxiClean. One scoop in every load of laundry, it will make your whites whiter. It will make your brights brighter. As a stain remover, it’s the best!

Grass stains, clay stains. Long live your laundry! OxiClean, the stain specialist. We sold millions of our two-and-half-pound tubs for $40. But if you call now, we’ll cut the price in half, only $19.95.

You’ll also receive the Squirt Bottle and the Super Shammy absolutely free. If you call during this show, you’ll receive a bottle of our world-famous Orange Clean made with pure orange oil. It cuts through the grease and the grime whether it’s baked on in the oven or caked on the stove. You get all this for just $19.95.

But call in the next 20 minutes, and we’ll super size your OxiClean from a two-and-a-half pound tub to a whopping six-p

Cue to live is “I come from four generations o’ cleanin’ women. But my daughter, she’s a whole new generation. That’s what we got comin’ up today - a whole new generation.” Right after Cleaning Women.

Rating: Actually really good. I’ve just lost it.