#NOT EVEN INCLUDING THE PRESCRIPTIONS 😭😭😭😭😭

[bibleofficial]

Also, exercise, Multivitamin, vitamin d, & fish oil will fix like 80% of mental problems. I was on antidepressants for 11 years & then i started taking my health more seriously. i suddenly felt like life was worth living when i would exercise in a way that was fun to me. I still have bad times & flashbacks but i am alive and you gotta hang in there to be alive because there are things you might regret dying before seeing.

queen not u saying VITAMINS instead of MEDICATION 😭😭😭 i literally experience psychosis otherwise

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

this shit is so fucking painful dude this was the copay for THREE medications. i take over a dozen different prescriptions!!

and just these three alone have cost like 5% of my way-below-the-poverty-line monthly income!! my insurance's catastrophic coverage phase can't kick in fast enough 😭

anyways i'm also over $100 in debt for groceries and if I pay that back I will only have about $50 left to last me the next two and a half weeks.

next week i have a doctor appointment that will cost about $40 to get to and from in ubers. i also still have more meds I need to buy this month. And, like, eat and buy shampoo.

sooooo i'm pretty stressed out about money rn!! 😅

if any financially secure adults wanna help a physically disabled person meet even one small need—

i have a food and necessities wishIist (that also includes visa and other cards (including uber!!) for stuff that isn’t available on amazon/is cheaper elsewhere) a walmart card to help w groceries would also make a huge difference!! they can be sent anonymously (or not) and start at $5. my email address is thatdiabolicalfeminist @ gmail.com if anyone wants to send an e card for Uber or walmart or anything else!! (no paypaI there tho please, that's an old paypaI account and i can't get into it to refund u!!)

I am so so sorry to have to ask when so many others are also in need and i've received so much kindness already in the past. i tried really hard not to have to do this :(

but the math is not mathing and any help at all would make a massive difference to my life! 🥺

[lowkeyrobin]

hello:))

been loving ur mcyt preferences, and was wondering if you would do one where reader has insomnia???

I take medication for it and i got took off it for a break UGHH. anyways luv ur writing and take ur time plz:))

ooooo okay!! ; and thank you thank you, I appreciate it 🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; insomniac/night owl

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language, sleep paralysis, jokes about OD'ing (melatonin)

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

genuinley feels so bad bc the second he closes his eyes, he's passed the hell out

he'll try and stay awake with you though and wait for the melatonin or just sleep in general to kick in

"if you're too tired to work, then don't. go back to sleep, don't worry about it"

compares you to tubbo 24/7

will bring you cherries and some milk because natural melatonin ❗️❗️

sometimes he'll try and stay awake with you and turn a movie on and he'll just pass out on your shoulder

you'll walk into his stream after sleeping until like 5 in the evening and quietly wave with a groggy look on your face

he laughs (in a very lighthearted way dw)

"y/nnnnn I know you're tired but we gotta go before we miss it"

"I'm coming, I'm coming"

you're basically just a night owl, like his personal guard dog lmao

he'll joke about it a bit too, how you're protecting him in the dark from the monsters 😭

RANBOO

he can and will stay up all night with you

mostly plays video games with you in hopes you'll get tired that way

which works a bit

does insane amounts of research, gets you eating all sorts of natural melatonin before bed and even gets you like children's melatonin gummies 💀💀

"do you have a sleep paralysis demon? are you just scared to sleep?"

"I just cannot sleep, I just toss and turn all night, I swear to god"

one of those people to do endless amounts of research to try and help

"do you wanna go to the doctor and get a prescription or something? maybe it'll help"

tweeting/posting about dumb shit you do at night

"y/n made a whole loaf of bread overnight someone send help"

"tell me why I woke up this morning to my partner staring into my soul holy shit"

FREDDIE BADLINU

also feels rlly bad that he can't help you

also brings you cherries, bananas and milk for natural melatonin in hopes it'll help a bit

will genuinley take you to a doctor to get you a prescription or something

also tweets about the shit you do while he's asleep overnight

"guys y/n picked up crocheting overnight wth"

"love when my partner wakes me up at 5am for breakfast because it was going cold 🥰 (they started cooking at 3:30am)

he can't stay up too late most days, he's a busy man

he feels so bad if you're sleeping through the whole day, he barely ever wakes you up bc he knows you're tired

"love, go back to sleep, you were up all night, I'll call you in sick, don't worry about it"

he strays away from od jokes when you're taking melatonin gummies/pills but sometimes he just has to say it

if you have a sleep paralysis demon as well, yk damn well he'll find his way into your dreams and beat the bitch up

if you can't sleep but he can, he'll just hold you and hope that you'll sleep soon

you'll usually sit there and play with his hair and admire him til you gotta get up and do something

NIKI NIHACHU

like ranboo, she puts in endless research of just trying to find things that might help you

she feels so bad

especially when you're sleeping all through the day and feel groggy as hell 24/7

if you have a paralysis demon she always reassures you that she'll beat it up for you next time it comes around

anything to make you smile bro

she's so sweet about it, if you're sleeping she makes sure to keep it quiet because this is one of the rare chances when you're sleeping

if you go multiple days without sleep and start tweaking out, she'll comfort you to sleep, doesn't matter how long it'll take

"It's okay, honey. it's okay, just focus on the rain sounds outside"

dedicated a whole kinda calm music playlist to help you sleep/relax yourself

finds it so funny when you do shit during the night to try and entertain yourself and it's the most random shit

like you'll go out and feed stray cats, accidently steal a shopping cart, fight the air and record it, etc

sleepy on stream hugs >>>

"well good morning, sunshine. its seven pm"

ALEX QUACKITY

"bro how do you not sleep"

if you got a sleep paralysis demon.... oh it's over for that mf

tweets about the dumb exhausted shit you do

"how do I turn y/n off at bedtime? I'm tired of waking up to see them staring into my soul"

"I love waking up to breakfast (I've been woken up at 4am for the past 2 weeks help me rn)"

thinks it's funny and sad at the same time when you start tweaking after not sleeping

"bro, go to sleep, cmon, it's okay, you're fine" as he's trying not to laugh at you

literally stuffs you with melatonin around 7:30 to see if it'll help LMAO

even talks on stream about how he's gonna fight the demons and pretends whoever he's fighting w is one LMAO

loves when you walk into stream all groggy and tired because he can finally spend a little time w you

[lordelmelloi2]

we need help again...

I hate hate hate hate to make this post but we could really use some help. Mostly because I am uninsured until my job opens enrollment for its health insurance in June and on the eve of us signing the apartment lease tomorrow, I have contracted strep throat from my coworkers. Hooray!

I'm gonna try and get an appointment at the community health center doctor's tomorrow because I straight up don't have the money or time to go to the CVS minuteclinic across the street. They said it was $139 for a strep appointment without insurance, I said hell no... If I wait another day I can try and get a sliding scale $40 appt at the doctors. Right now is just stressful because we need money and because they didn't give us our security deposit back I'm not going to have enough money for my bills the beginning of the month. Plus there are literally THREE prescriptions I have asides from however much a Z pack will likely cost and one of them is an ointment from a compound pharmacy that I don't have money to pay for~!!!! 😭😭😭

Asides from that I am afraid that we miscalculated how much we have for rent for May so I'm trying to see about covering those costs so we aren't paying 3 days late into the month of May for our May rent first month. I really don't want to have a bad first impression with these people. They've been very kind to us so far with renting this new place but I don't want to push the limits.

I've already asked my dad for help but he wasn't able to spare enough for us to be totally covered + he needs me to pay him back by August. During the month of April I also applied to multiple credit unions for personal loans and got rejected...

So my total expenses are:

- Medication/Doctor's visit (including pre-existing prescriptions that I haven't had the money to pick up) ($160)

- Phone bill ($75 for this first month, should be going down next month as verizon charges my account with different coding)

- costs for rent/move (like hopefully $200 idk. I think we can swing the last hundred)

In addition: Because of my history of struggling with commissions due to my psychiatric disability, I don't really want to do this but if you donate a sum above $100 you can ask me to digitally paint something for you. Please no complicated requests or anything since I've been struggling with art for years now from depression/anxiety etc. but I would feel indebted to you if I didn't do anything. If this is something you'd like please DM me/send me an ask off anon.

* As for why we have been so financially fucked this month. Our current apartment complex (yes the one with the leaks, roaches, harmful construction noises etc.) has kept our security deposit which has us out $300 that we could've used towards the new place. They have fucked us over one last time.

My paypal as always is at: paypal.me/roseod

And please share if you can. Every reblog/donation of even a small amount is appreciated. Thank you all so much for supporting me.

[middlingmay]

I come begging for some happy todcl headcanons bc I’d like to live in ur beautiful universe rather than my reality as an American 😭

I'm sorry, anon. I can't believe this has happened for a second time. Whilst I respect everyone's right to vote how they deem fit, I'll never understand their choice. Or how he was allowed to run in the first place.

Whilst where I live and our political parties certainly have their problems, I'm also living in a world with: workers rights including flexible working and a push against zero hour contracts and fire and rehire; tenants rights; buffer zones for abortion clinics; free period products; a push towards the Gender Recognition (Scotland) Bill; progress towards a circular, greener economy; the Muirburn Bill and protection for Raptor species; discussions on the Assisted Dying Bill; and free prescriptions and the NHS (which even in its worst and sorriest state, still gives me free healthcare). Scotland has a strong conservative bent as a society, there's no point pretending otherwise, and this absolutely includes misogyny, sectarianism out the wazoo and other religious intolerance and racism. But politically we are trying to expand rights, protection, and freedom of choices. Not restrict them.

But! That it not what you came to my inbox for! Happy TODCL headcanons, here we go:

We all know John likes to squeeze Gale's waist, but Gale likes to do it back just as much, if not more. He loves John's thickness. Not because it makes him feel small or anything, he just loves grabbing him and touching him and feeling something solid and soft and tangible under his hands. It makes John feel real to him, when he thought he was never going to get anything like their relationship in his life.

John often takes them on a drive just before sunset. He loves sitting there with the top down, Gale's head in his lap and his long legs dangling out the window, and watching the sun go down.

Crosby and Gale become keen penpals after Crosby moves away. He mentions Will in his letters sometimes, and Gale glares at those letters so hard, it's a miracle they don't burst into flame.

John is ticklish, but just on his feet. Gale discovers this when his hands gets too close in bed one day and next thing he knows he's blinking at the ceiling and John is peering over the edge of the bed at him, wide-eyed. Gale strategises how to make best use of this discovery.

Gale very quickly discovers he's got a lot of fantasies and a lot of thoughts that had just been waiting for the opportunity to come pouring out. John thinks he's going to have to guide Gale through the intimacy in their relationship but he surprisingly has to try to keep up with him.

I hope that at least makes you feel a little better anon. I have a bunch more but a lot of them are plot related and I don't want to give anything away.

[jahayla-parker]

Note/confession: this was an unplanned fic that I’ve written to shamelessly offer myself some semblance of comfort (or as I told @ell0ra-br3kk3r , remedying me needing my Freddy fix after the events of my trip; which you’ll more or less read about below- except unlike y/n I don’t actually have Freddy to comfort me 😭)

Bite Me : Freddy Carter x Reader

Description: 2.3k wc, y/n is fortunate enough to be looked after by her wonderfully caring husband Freddy after her recent vacation took an unexpected turn. Fluff, hurt/sick comfort.

Warnings: not proofread yet, one curse right at the start, mentions of bug bites and bugs, mentions of bug bite symptoms and treatment (including prescriptions and other medical settings & topics), minor mentions of a small amount of blood (from scratching too hard).

“Fuck me,” y/n whimpered, her body feeling truly miserable. She had been on a trip with friends to several beaches over the last week and now she was covered in bites. Prior to being bitten by them, she’d never even heard of no see ums. But, that didn’t stop them from aggressively attacking all areas of y/n’s body.

Freddy frowned as he watched y/n twitch as she tried to restrain herself from scratching at the inflamed, red, aggravated bites. He’d been bitten by the particular bug only once before and only a handful of marks formed that time, but he still knew how terribly itchy the welts could be. He even recalled having wished to have been bitten by mosquitoes instead as no see ums are far worse. As such, Freddy felt horrible for his wife.

“We’re almost there, darling,” Freddy encouraged softly. He reached across the console to grab Y/N’s hand, his thumb cautiously rubbing the back of it while avoiding the multiple bites present there. When y/n hummed begrudgingly in response, Freddy gazed over at her and his eyes once again tried to scan just how many bites she was covered in. He’d tried to count them upon her return home, but she just wanted to sleep as she’d gotten in at the early hours of the morning today. Unfortunately, as Freddy suspected, y/n had only been able to get a couple hours of sleep before waking up due to the pain and discomfort. Therefore, he was now driving her to the urgent care clinic nearby to be seen.

Y/n had initially been against Freddy’s idea, feeling like she was utilizing resources that would be better used by others. But, after Freddy had made it a point to authentically count out each of the bumps on her right lower leg, she quickly changed her mind. Freddy had only counted the bites on the area between the base of her right knee and the top of her right ankle. Yet, his counting was cut off by y/n when he’d reached 146 bites in that area alone.

It wasn’t uncommon for no see ums to bite in bunches with multiple bites on an area. But, Freddy hadn’t seen anything like this before. He could only imagine the amount of bugs that had ventured onto her legs as they decided to make a meal of her. Especially when he realized it wasn’t just her lower right leg that was bitten countless times. Instead, Freddy quickly realized the bites also more than covered y/n’s upper right leg, all the way to her bum. His despair over her predicament increased when he’d seen that the red itchy bites had mapped all over both legs in the same manner, the fronts and backs of her arms from her hands to her shoulders, her neck, chest, and entire upper and middle back areas as well. As ridiculous and impossible as it was, Freddy wished he could’ve protected his lovely wife from such an awful occurrence.

Freddy knew he couldn’t reasonably expect to count every single bite, much less when driving. But, the simple fact that when he’d looked over to do so he’d seen her agony broke his heart. Freddy sighed as she clutched her hands tightly together to keep from scratching futilely at the marks. After stopping at the next light, he leaned over and pressed a sympathetic kiss to her forehead. “I know you’re miserable, but you’re doing so well, love,” Freddy encouraged.

Freddy prepared himself to try and convince y/n to take the vile-tasting liquid medication the doctor had passed her way. Only, before he could even open his mouth, she’d confirmed with the doctor the appropriate process and then promptly downed the cup in one go. In fact, Freddy’s suspicions of the severity of her condition were confirmed when she went for a second toss of the contents in the cup to be sure to not miss a single drop of the remedy. He brushed some hair from her face and handed her a glass of water to wash down the aftertaste, hating that was all he could do for her.

Freddy listened to the doctor’s advice very carefully, asking plenty of follow-up questions to ensure he knew how to best help his wife. He’d easily memorized that in addition to the liquid steroid medication she’d just taken, the doctor was prescribing y/n some very strong prescription antihistamines to take twice a day at home. Freddy had discussed bathing and showering restrictions with the provider, making mental note to not let her take anything other than a cold water bath or shower until the welts were resolved. He had to come to terms with the notion that y/n’s severe discomfort might not be fully remedied for over two weeks even with the treatment offered. Freddy hated that idea and wanted to cry when he saw y/n holding back tears over the thought of this lasting that long.

“Oohhh,” y/n whined, a sarcastic laugh exiting her lips after. “Gaaahhh, Freddyyyyyy,” she cried out. She shifted around in her husband’s passenger seat unable to get comfortable. “It, it iiiitttcchhesss”.

Freddy’s eyes flickered from the road briefly to look at y/n. He sighed deeply with a frown. “I know,” he replied solemnly. “But-, no darling, no scratching,” Freddy directed, pulling her arm away from her thigh.

“But,” y/n croaked, tears in her eyes. She couldn’t believe how insanely itchy her entire body was. Not to mention, there was also this simultaneous burning sensation from the bites and she was exhausted from not sleeping. Y/n genuinely didn’t think she’d been that uncomfortable before without being in excruciating pain. “It itches so badly,” y/n pointed out weakly.

With his eyes turned back onto the road, Freddy took the hand of Y/N’s he’d grabbed moments before and brought it to his lips. He placed a loving kiss on the backside of her hand. “I’m truly sorry, darling,” he acknowledged, “but scratching, well, it’ll only make it worse”.

“Oh bite me,” y/n exclaimed, using her other hand to scratch her ankle aggressively.

Freddy sighed and shook his head. He understood her desire (to the extent he was capable of that is since her situation was far worse than anything similar that he’d ever had). But, he still despised the idea that she could be harming herself by doing so. As such, he tapped one of the few clear spots on her leg and lightly shook his head at her. “Besides,” Freddy murmured, opting for another approach to his response. “I’m afraid things biting you is what got you into this situation, no?” He teased playfully, earning an unamused glare from y/n despite her small whimperish laugh.

Y/n grimaced as the itchy sensation once again fluttered through her body from head to toe and back. She began rubbing her legs against each other in hopes of having the friction ease the desire to actually scratch the bites. Y/n knew it still wasn’t likely an ideal solution, but something had to give, and at least this way she wasn’t risking opening the welts.

“Darling, it’s time,” Freddy said as he entered their living room. He quickly passed y/n her favorite water bottle and one of her newly prescribed antihistamines. They both sighed in minimal relief as she visibly swallowed the pill. It was obvious they were both hoping the pill would start to help her discomfort soon.

“Thank you,” y/n said quietly. She set the water bottle down, a small smile forming as she realized her husband had explicitly cleaned her emotional support water bottle for her to use. “I’m sorry,” she sighed, noticing the confusion the sentiment made form on Freddy’s face. “I’m being difficult and whiny,” y/n admitted, “I know I am, but-“.

“Y/n, love,” Freddy coed warmly. He cupped her face; partially choosing that contact option because it was the only part of her body he could touch without further igniting the itching feeling constantly inside of her. “You can whine and complain all you want,” he said tenderly. “You’re in an absurdly unpleasant and downright desolate state,” Freddy frowned in sympathy. “You’re not being difficult by wanting to, or actually scratching, you are fighting the urge the best you can. I know that.” “Why don’t we watch something on the telly to distract you a bit?” Freddy suggested considerately.

“I am freaking miserable,” y/n said in a singsong voice. She laughed humorously as she slid her shorts back on over her irritated skin, restraining from scratching the bites. She heard Freddy’s sympathetic sigh over the faint sound of his footsteps as he made his way to their bathroom. Y/n turned on the sink faucet, groaning as she prepared to wash her hands with warm water for sanitary purposes despite knowing how much worse her symptoms would be as a result.

Just as the water trickled onto Y/N’s hand, she noticed a small bug on her left at the edge of the vanity corner. It was some small black bug, but that’s all she could tell from that angle. As such, she reached over and moved the decorative item that was blocking her eyes from determining what kind of bug it was that had broken into her home. Y/n quickly realized it was a tiny spider as it began dangling from a thin web against the wall.

Without hesitating or even thinking, Y/N smacked her bare palm against the bug. The realization of what she’d just done hit her instantaneously as she pulled her hand back and saw the squished black mark on the white bathroom wall. “I don’t fuck around with bugs anymore,” she declared thoughtlessly. Y/n didn’t realize how unhinged her behavior or remark were until she heard the way Freddy’s chuckles reverberated around their restroom.

Y/n swallowed thickly as she hurriedly washed her hands. She tried to hide her bashful expression as she spun to where Freddy was in order to dry her hands. Only, it seemed he’d noticed and it only fueled his laughter further. Y/n shot him a fake glare that quickly shifted as she burst into genuine laughter of her own over her actions.

“Bloody hell,” Freddy laughed. He snaked his arms around y/n’s lower back to avoid most of her bites. “I am absolutely enamored by you, y/n/n,” he confessed with an amused grin. “And, quite impressed, you not only didn’t ask me to kill the spider for you, but you used your bare palm to do so on your own and then trash talked it,” Freddy said as he shook his head.

Y/n giggled and cautiously rested her head against Freddy’s shoulder. She made sure she was positioned so that none of the areas of her skin that were covered in bites touched her husband. Not because they were contagious, as they weren’t, but rather to keep her symptoms from increasing. “Let’s not talk about that again,” y/n hummed bashfully.

“Oh, but, darling, we have to talk about that all again still,” Freddy argued playfully. He laughed lightheartedly at y/n’s exaggerated groan, knowing the giggles that followed it showed her true feelings over the situation.

Freddy gasped whisperingly as he entered the bedroom. He figured it was taking y/n too long to change into her pajamas, so he’d wandered that way to check on her and possibly offer some help. Only, it seemed her discomfort had intensified to the point she’d caved into the burning desire to scratch at the inflamed bites. For, Freddy had entered the bedroom to find y/n rapidly scratching any and all areas of her body she could get her hands on; her hands flying around as they moved between areas with aggressively intense speed and force. Yet, it was the already visible result of such actions that made Freddy uncontrollably gasp.

“Oh love,” Freddy whined quietly. He could only imagine how bad her body was feeling if she had resorted to painfully dragging her nails all over her skin in hopes of even temporary relief. Especially as she’d done so to the extent that several of the once red-from-inflammation welts were now red from the trace amount of blood that had begun to leave the now open bites.

Instead of scolding y/n for something he knew was a last resort effort for her, Freddy exited the bedroom and quickly returned with a wet towel. “Let’s clean these off with a cold cloth, yeah?” He suggested as he knelt down before her seated position at the edge of their bed. “Place your hands on my shoulders please, darling,” Freddy requested, planning on using that as a way to keep her from continuing to violently scratch at her body. “Perfect, thank you,” he hummed as he slowly brought the cold cloth to her bare skin.

Freddy took his time cleaning the blood from y/n’s skin. He had intentionally taken longer than was necessary because he recalled how the doctor mentioned a cold compress could help ease the inflammation and therefore hopefully the itching. It was only once Freddy had felt the cloth reach room temperature that he fully removed it from her skin.

When he heard y/n sigh quietly in slight disappointment, Freddy realized instead of ending the round of treatment, he should step up his game. As such, he held onto Y/N’s hands as they remained on his shoulders and lowered them to his chest as he stood. “Darling,” Freddy spoke softly before he kissed her forehead. “I’m going to draw you a cold bath, we’ll give that a try”.

Unfortunately, this went on for quite some time. But, Freddy never gave up on his efforts to ease y/n’s misery. And, no matter how bad it got, y/n was never able to feel truly desolate because she knew her husband would do whatever he could to help her. Eventually, things resolved and Freddy attested that he was going to be sure to remind her to pack & use bug spray for all of her travels even if he wasn’t there to apply it to her skin himself.

Taglist: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @missdreamofendless @nikfigueiredo @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @alex-kazbrekkersimp @opheliaofficial07 @historynerd77 @el-de-phi

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[myworld-collapsing]

finally dropping this for zero, and his redesign ! there are, truthfully, some more characters to be listed but i have either forgotten them or am having an extremely hard time articulating my thoughts, so ill just offer these for now . .

sirius belongs to @junebluues ! ( i hope this helps with things : D ! ill release a interaction between him and sirius soon . . )

explanations from left to right & from up to down !

——————————————————————————————————

till - alien stage : yeagh, it’s generally the yearning and the feelings . though for different reasons and in different ways .

like june said and suggested, sirius makes zero feel like something . they make him want to be something . he in his own way, yearns to be seen and understood by sirius . ( maybe even loved . but that is a far, faraway dream he detaches himself from . )

he doesn’t really act on these feelings, though . ( in fact, it’d probably even seem hes avoiding them at times ) he doesn’t need sirius to show interest or even like him in return, he just needs them to be their truest self always, and be genuinely happy in those and their circumstances, for him .

——————————————————————————————————

sua - alien stage :

from their shared original lack of life and dehumanization, and how they are both eventually brightened by another .

——————————————————————————————————

sunny - omori :

more on a surface level . they both share the shyness and quietness, but also the lacks in self - esteem and worth, as well as zero also being frustrated easily . he’s good in about all fields, but truly doesn’t have any fondness towards any of his “ talents “ . instead, he resents them all . there’s a reason for this, but since it’s pretty simple, ill probably discuss it further later, but i wont put it on here .

——————————————————————————————————

sakura nanamine - toilet - bound hanako kun / tbhk :

also more on a surface level ! they’re both pretty aloof and don’t express their emotions very often .

——————————————————————————————————

nina - artiswitch :

they’re the most similar, in my opinion . both empty and hollow as people, with their shared lack of feelings of belonging to, well, anywhere . they also both have a person who starts them on a path of change . when zero finally starts to try to be something, to help himself, he also starts to try to help others . well, kinda . he’s just a bit more open to others, id say . . it’s not very easy to articulate my exact feelings about these 2 but please just trust me guys 😭

——————————————————————————————————

me :

i would be lying if i said i didn’t insert some of my own self into zero . . though it’s up to all of you to guess how much .

——————————————————————————————————

extra notes ! : ( TW : i dont know how to do these properly . . but there is a purging mention . )

he has clinical depression . he doesn’t take antidepressants . - ( but, he does have many other assortments of prescriptions by his guardian, keirii . he keeps all of these in a specific drawer particularly to keep his roommate ( who anyone is free to ask to be ! ) from reaching them and possibly overdosing . )

although i didn’t include it in his profile, one of his least favorite things is eating . he has a quite sensitive stomach, and often feels sick after eating . he purges because of this . - ( he was once confined to anakt’s clinic for a month because of more severe incident of this tendency . )

he had a lobotomy - like operation done on him when he was young, by keirii of course, ( she prefers non - emotional organisms ) and barely survived it . - ( he can of course still feel emotions from how he feels towards sirius ( ill actually expand on these later, but for now, zero can’t put an exact label on them . ), but they’ve been hardwired to just be not as strong . )

his guardian, keirii, generally specializes in the study of the max of the physical and mental endurances of individual organisms, and death processes when the limit is finally crossed . - ( she often conducts her studies and experiments on humans, wagyeins, and sometimes when she is permitted to, the corpses of segyein . they’re often of a wide range of diversity in each individual species . because of her high profile in the industry, and known rare race in birth, she often has rare types of test subjects present . )

zero was luckily, spared these treatments .

but, keirii did occasionally let him overview some of her ongoing projects, and files or recordings of these as well . because of this, zero does have a general understanding and ability in the field .

he might have had a forced transition . i have a feeling keirii would much prefer a son over a daughter . .

like dante, ( @rockwgooglyeyes ) in a way, zero doesn’t appear that often . he doesn’t do this on purpose though . - ( also to note, he actually doesn’t have anything against dante . he’s aware, that, although he’d like it, he doesn’t deserve and isn’t entitled to nothing and or anything from sirius . dante seems to make sirius truly happy, and zero is grateful to dante for that . )

he’s allergic to eggs, so he can’t really eat much either way . though im sure he gets specially tailored meals ( that he doesn’t eat 90 % of the time ) payed for by keirii .

there is an issue with his collar ( or him ) that makes it so, whenever he has one on, it never displays any emotion indicating color onto the light, remaining a nuetral gray that’s only present when collars aren’t being worn . he often gets his collars changed weekly or monthly for this, even though there’s no difference .

he straight up doesn’t have a name and was never given one . . he’s just labeled by the only number in his id 😭

——————————————————————————————————

anyways, if anyone would like to be friends or uhm partners with my sopping wet sad alley cat of a boy, don’t be afraid to ask ! here or in my asks or discord, either ways are fine : D !

i think there could possibly be an opening for a friend in his incident ? he did collapse right after in the bathroom, and im sure someone would have had to found him and brought him to the clinic .

another concept would be whoever helps him during his recovery . although they wouldn’t be there all the time, im sure they’d take daily visits to give him his classwork, and also to get him his lunch and medicine and make sure he consumes both without promptly throwing it all up, among other things . if no one steps up to it though, im sure a segyein would be able to do it .

ill probably be updating his profile soon, but,

im changing it back, his voice claim is chogakusei’s vocals in this cover,

and id also say this instrumental kind of matches his overall vibe !

[certainheaven]

I have a lot of things to write about my attempt to induce lucid dream, i start it from March this year, what a long time journey and i am still here… sigh..

Back to lucid dream, ( traditional method as MILD, WILD, etc i tried those sometimes, but lately i stick to SSILD when WBTB and yoga nidra before sleep, i always keep my dream journal too, you will be surprise how many log in my dream journal but no LD yet 🥲, and of course reality check every hour and sometimes i did ADA ( all day awareness)*correct me if i am wrong)

Tried, a lot of herb for induce LD but nothing worked for me, silly me bought 3 pouch of mugwort tea back then ( one pouch is 30 bag of tea ), the taste is horrible, who in the world like this kind of tea, even i like tea i hate this one 😭 drank it before sleep, no effect, drank it when WBTB, no effect, even i didnt get any vivid dream and my dream recall so horrible after that. Wonder why people succeeded with it…

Blue lotus, that one is expensive one and i just got a little flowers for quite of money to spent 🥲 not worked for me too ( i want to hit myself ) in the first time i drank it i had this really long deep sleep i ever had, like you just hit your pillow and close your eyes for one second and one second later you open your eyes, you already sleep for 7 hours! I am grateful for that one though, i never sleep like that before. But yeah after that first time it didn't do anything for me anymore, not deep sleep, not vivid dream or i even can't remember my dream.

After that, i don't want to tried the tea or herbs again, due to disappointment, and then, came these supplements…

Anyone maybe did heard a lot about vitamin B, especially B6 and B12 which coincidentally make people LD, well lucky for me because i lack on these vitamins (including vitamin D) and i bought it for my health too, i bought only vitamin with B1, B6 and B12 in it first but i change to B-complex ( there are choline in it so also need it for my memory, i had the most bad memory in the world if i can say it) so it's a win-win if i really did LD with it too but well… you know the outcome already. But one day i tried this B1, B6 and B12 vitamin one when i did WBTB, i did have semi-lucid(?) one when anything out of place like who in the world can pull blanket through the wall?????? Yeah it was me and i keep thinking it was normal to pulled blanket through the wall, i always like this when had ‘really dream-like scene and there no way you can witness an do it in real life’ and keep thinking it was okay, dam—- what an idiot 😭

But tell you what, after regularly consume B-complex and vitamin D3 frequently my dream became kinda vivid and my recall more better than before consume these vitamins. That's a great progress i guess.

And the recent supplements i just bought a week ago! Huperzine-A and Alpha-GPC! Sigh anything related to brain always expensive 😭 you guys know Galantamine? Yeah that one supplement also the most potent tool for induce LD due to people who review it on reddit, but sadly i can't bought it and you need prescription to buy it (and the price my god more pricey than those two i just mentioned… just why…😭)

Like how stupid i was, i consumed it both when WBTB, due to high choline in these two i am not surprised i was so sick and wanted to fainted after i woke up. Hard to falling asleep again but try to force it but i feel uncomfortable don't know why, and didn't get any dream, maybe because how high choline in my body that day, these two supplements work so fast like the effect will peak at around 10-15 min after you consume it.

I bought the 250 uhm mcg or mg(?) Huperzine-A i don't remember sorry ( i told you my memory is trash 😭 luckily this two main benefits is help with memory and cognitive) and uhm 600 mg Alpha-GPC 50% so you will only get 300 mg when you consume it one pill.

The question is why these supplements? Well, i can't explain it because i am not expert or really know, but choline is help with active brain when we are sleep, and like Galantamine which is for Alzheimer disease, these kind of supplements for Alzheimer found out to be effective and coincidentally induced LD, that curious isn't it? If you really want to know and curious search it up yourself because i can't explain more than this 🤣

Planning to using this for just once per week, because these supplements stay inside body kinda in a long time. I am out of method and kinda tired to always met with disappointment so i tried supplements, but it's also help my brain so i can't complain 🥲

[coeurspurs]

I think this is one of the best skincare lineup for my current skin condition. 🧊🩵💧

Lately, my skin broke out again after I was being too carefree in what I consume. 🫠 Surely it's anything but good, but I'm trying to handle the stress now so it won't get any worse than this.😵‍💫

I didn't use any skincare products for about 4-5 months because I was using my doctor's prescriptions to heal my skin, and then I didn't repurchase any of those products for about 3 months because they made my skin look dull. 🥲

After weeks of having some thoughts and learned bits about skincare ingredients, I finally managed to buy some products that I think are necessary for my skin condition:

SOMEBYMI AHA BHA PHA Toner

Jumiso Waterfull Hyaluronic Toner

True to Skin Niacinamide TXA Serum

True to Skin Multi Hyaluronic Serum

The Originote Hyalucera Moisturizer

These products mostly has hydrating ingredient that can help my skin produce less oil (I have oily, acne prone skin type). I've been using the moisturizer for some time now and it does a great job in moisturizing my skin. However, the rest of the products are essentially new products that I just tried this year. 💐

I believe that something's wrong on my skin barrier, so I'm trying to fix it with hydrating products. I'm currently reducing my skincare routine to just exfoliate and hydrate to prevent even more breakouts. I had this thing called skin cycling before where I need to "cycle" the routines once every 3 days and I swear to God, it was one of the most stressing skincare routine I've ever had. 😂 But these methods are each to their own, I guess. Simplicity fits me more in so many things, including my skincare routine.

Before anybody jump at me, I know that AHA BHA PHA toner was so famous in around 2018. They were literally everywhere and people talked about it so often. Back then, I was afraid of using the product because I was new to skincare and I didn't want to over-exfoliate my skin. Just about 6 years later, here I am, praising that toner for how good it is on my skin! 🥺💞 It didn't give the tingling sensation when I applied it on my skin, unlike the previous exfoliating toner I used. It was so gentle and it did its job properly on the first try. I'm in love with this toner, it's obvious, and it's a very late response to a trend, lol. I would totally recommend this to anyone who's looking for an exfoliating toner.

And then, the Jumiso Hyaluronic toner. I saw the ad everywhere and I was so curious about it. I watched around 3-4 reviews on YouTube and dug some informations online. They succeeded on convincing me to buy the product, and here I am, loving the product as well. I don't know much about this brand, but I love this toner so much! I used another brand's hydrating toner before for around 1 year and it didn't give the very same result as this toner did! This toner's very refreshing and hydrating on my skin, it gave a bit of plump effect after I did some CSM on my skin. Loving it! 🥰😍❤️

And then, True to Skin's serums. I knew this brand way before when I visited my friend's house. She was using this brand's niacinamide serum. I wasn't a big fan of niacinamide, until recently after I tried reformulated niacinamide serum from this brand. It's called TXA Niacinamide now. I haven't learned much about this ingredient, so I don't know much about things that changed in the formula. 😅 My skin absorbs the products easily and they didn't leave a sticky feeling on my skin. They did their job properly and I'm here to see the improvements on my skin!

I can't wait for the final result on my skin after months of using these products. This lineup is so good that my skin gets super better within days. 😭💓 I hope they don't discontinue these products!!

[blackberry-gingham]

catch is even hotter to me when I realize that this soft big shy guy is someone as beautiful (to me, and to many❤️) as Alfred Molina 😭 Like he may not be what some people (himself included) would consider “sexy” especially when compared to younger, leaner specimen… But ahhhh!!! The combination of all his features has me rabid. (The way you take care to describe his nose is a personal favorite of mine!!) but like, he’s so tall and broad and chunky ™️ and strong in the best way. BUT THEN! then you added that he needs glasses 🥺 like I’m sure when he looks at himself he only sees all those things as problems...But oof, the scene where the reader was cuddling with him and stroking his tummy and he dared to hope!! 😭🥺✋ (also, bonus points for embarassed, nervous Otto who thought he crushed her and that she was disgusted moments before…) girl I could rant about your version of catch Otto for HOURS.

AAAAAAAAAAA ?!?!?!?

NSKSSKSKSK I don't even know where to start with this ask, it's so sweet and kind 😭😭😭 Thank you !!!!

BUT YES!!!! I know what you mean 😭😭

I guess I sort of forgot that Alfred's doc doesn't wear prescription glasses, but literally every other incarnation of him does, so it felt important to include it. And I mean.... It's cannon that comic doc thinks very low of his personal appearance (although granted, it is kind of warranted 💀💀🥲), which kinda makes me sad tho 😭😭 so I brought that over too, plus... WE NEED BIG BOI REPRESENTATION !!!! 😭😭

The doc is just so sweet and touch starved, he really wants to cuddle and be near the reader, but he's still aware that he's all around a pretty big guy, so he's scared sometimes and tries to be extra careful 🥺🥺

[waluigideservesgrape]

So um im on a batman craze since the new movie so I thought id share the plot to a fanfic im going to try to write or even maybe turn into a comic (MAYBE). I see this in my brain like the batman video games and god I wish I had the ability to do something like that just for a game based off a fanfic of mine 😭. This also includes riddlebat and batcat so um 🙃

Its highly based off the arkham asylum and arkham city games. The story starts a few months after the disaster and evacuation of the city. Whoever stayed, stayed willingly or weren't lucky enough to escape. Arkham asylum has been broken out of and many high end villians have been released into the streets. These villians soon begin their own hierarchy assigning territories and establishing a following. Joker has Riddler on his side for awhile as well as Harley. As the joker empire builds with them Riddler gains another alternative version of his villain persona, one for when he's just trying to be showy (like the iconic riddlers), with help from the Joker who was the one to suggest it with their new access to almost anything they wanted. Bruce knows that Edward is probably one of the only people that he can actually get to listen to him and bargain with him. He needs as much information ad he can about these villians to restore Gotham. He has almost no chance trying to get help from ones like the Penguin, Joker or Mr. Freeze, so he tries to keep Edward close. Once he gets Edward out of the grips of Joker he keeps tabs on him and mainly tries to get him to stay around the wayne manor to protect him. (Bruce doesnt worry as much with Selina as she is a more capable fighter and wouldnt take the help anyway). He gets outside help from a therapist, that evacuated after the flood, to diagnose Edward and try to get him on a regiment to keep him from doing anymore harm to the city. He gets a generalized prescription for him and gives it to him without telling him what its really for. Bruce, Edward, Selina and the gotham city PD all work together haphazardly to help pull Gotham out of the state of despair its in and rebuild the city.

I want to make this a longer read with lots of time to explore characters and their relationships. Plus some lore from the comics and games as well sprinkled in. Lemme know what you guys think of the brief plot summary 🙃 ttyl!