#NHS 'woke up' just to give LXC a side eye

[random-mdzs-thoughts-dumpster]

Lan Xichen: Sect Leader Jiang, don't answer him. He is good at talking. Once you start to talk with him, your attention will be averted and emotion stimulated. You will want to cradle him in your arms, kiss him on the forehead, and confess your undying love for him. Jiang Cheng: Lan Wangji: Wei Wuxian: Jin Ling: Su She: Jin Guangyao: Jiang Cheng: No, I think that's just you.

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[i-like-plan-m]

LOVE THE NEW SOF CHAPTER. Can we please have the next chapter be the recovery and NMJ sitting wwx down to explain Why That Was Not Okay and You Do Not Owe Us Anything, Let Alone Be Expendable Holy Shit I Would Literally Cut Off Heads For You WTF. Wwx needs it. Also NMJ and WWX recovering together and LXC IS THERE BECAUSE HEALER! throw in lwj too let those two be coddled by Lan mother henning and let NHS fuss and bitch and Mengyao deal with the fact that this is his life now.

Like this? :)

[Ao3]

___________

He woke, and his first thought was of Wei Wuxian. 

Nie Mingjue peeled his eyes open, dismayed at the effort it took from him. He recognized his room-- the wide window casting the first rays of dawn across his face, Xichen’s scent lingering on the pillow beside him, the scorch marks on the wall where Wei Wuxian had once tried to use a fire talisman to kill a bug. 

He heard soft breaths by his bed, and for a long moment was too afraid to look, too afraid to go searching for his little brother and not ever find him again. 

He did not think he could survive losing anyone else.

Nie Mingjue was many things, but he was not a coward. He braced himself for heartbreak, turning his head in slow degrees towards the unmoving shape curled up in a chair in the corner. He could not tell if they were A-Sang’s dark green or A-Xian’s black robes. 

Pain demanded his attention, a razor-sharp ache in his ribs that made every breath both a monumental effort and an instant regret. He felt layered bandages enveloping his torso beneath the blankets, wrapped firmly for the broken ribs and the deep gouges on his chest left behind by the demon. 

He sat, so slowly that the sun had nearly risen in full before he managed to be completely upright. The gnawing pain made his vision go black, but he stubbornly fought his fading consciousness until he was able to see again. 

He rose slowly to his feet, a hand braced on the wall for support. His joints cracked and there was a stiffness in his body that made him wonder how long he’d been unconscious. 

He took a single, tiny step forwards and had to pause to blink back the tears of pain that rose unbidden to his eyes. 

And then the door opened, the figure in the shadowy corner startled awake, and Nie Mingjue felt one of the scabs on his chest crack open and bleed. 

“What are you doing?” Huaisang said, indignant. “You’re supposed to be in bed!” 

A-Sang was by the door, which meant…

Wei Wuxian yelped when Nie Mingjue grabbed him by the front of the robes and hauled him in, crushing him into a suffocating hug as tears of relief threatened to escape. He cupped his brother’s head with one hand, the other arm tight as a vise around his shoulders. 

Wei Wuxian pressed his face into Nie Mingjue’s shoulder and trembled. 

“Never again,” Nie Mingjue said harshly. “Do you hear me, A-Xian? Don’t you ever do something like that again.” 

“But you were going to--” 

“You are not replaceable,” he thundered. 

He heard a mutinous, “Neither are you,” mumbled into his shoulder and resisted the urge to shake his brother, if only because any more movement would probably make him pass out. 

“Da-ge,” Huaisang threatened, appearing at his side with a murderous look in his eyes. “The healer said you are not to move a muscle until you are fully healed.” 

“So she did,” Nie Zonghui said from the door. Nie Mingjue glanced at him, noting the dark circles beneath his friend’s eyes and the stark relief on his smiling face. 

“I’m fine,” he said. 

“Sure,” Nie Zonghui said agreeably. “For totally unrelated reasons, I’m going to find Nie Wenji.” 

Nie Mingjue huffed at him, annoyed, but let the boys bully him back into bed nonetheless. He snagged Wei Wuxian’s sleeve when he tried to move away, wanting to keep him close until the memory of the demon on his heels and the forest swallowing them both up had faded. 

Wei Wuxian cooperated for once by sitting on the bed beside him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with a wide yawn and helpfully scooting over so Huaisang could join them.

“Are you hurt?” Nie Mingjue asked. 

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “Just scratches and stuff. Nie Wenji healed me pretty quick.”

“Where are Liu Rushi and Nie Huiyin? What happened?” 

“We got lucky, is what happened,” Nie Huiyin said as she limped into the room, bracing most of her weight on Liu Rushi. She shot them a wide smile. “Hey, Sect Leader. We heard you were awake.” 

“What…” 

“A tree fell on me,” she said cheerfully. “I broke my leg and had a few puncture wounds. No biggie.” 

“‘No biggie,’” Huaisang repeated incredulously. 

Nie Huiyin was unfazed. “Yeah, I’m fine with it. We’re all alive, and she thinks scars are hot.” 

Liu Rushi, bearing as many bandages as Nie Mingjue and a long-suffering expression, just sighed. “A-Yin set off the flare during the fight, which Nie Zonghui and half the sect responded to. They made it in time to stop the bleeding and address the internal injuries you had before you died.” 

She continued, shooting an affectionate glance at the boys. “A-Sang kept the pressure on your wounds so you didn’t bleed out, while A-Xian led the demon into the forest. The lure kept its focus entirely off of us, so we were able to finally bring it down.” 

Nie Wenji bustled into the room, scowling at Nie Huiyin and Liu Rushi. “I didn’t give you permission to get up! Go back to bed before you undo all my hard work.” 

Liu Rushi bowed for them both. “Yes, Nie-qianbei.” She helped Nie Huiyin hobble back out. 

Nie Wenji shooed the boys out of her way so she could check the bandages, handing them a few supplies to hold onto with a command to make themselves useful. Nie Mingjue tried not to blanch at the glare she gave him at the sight of the bloodied bandages on his chest. 

“Don’t even think about moving again,” she ordered. “It took all of my spiritual energy to keep you alive, Sect Leader, and I will be very offended if you ruin my efforts.” 

“Yes, Nie Wenji,” he said, knowing better than to pick a fight with the sect healer. They didn’t fight fair. 

As if hearing the thought, she turned back to Wei Wuxian and told him to give the small bowl of medicine to Nie Mingjue and ensure he drank it all while she left to retrieve new bandages.

Wei Wuxian cupped the bowl carefully between his hands and passed it to him. Nie Mingjue frowned down at it, wondering at its alarming shade of red. 

“I put some chili oil in there to help with the taste,” Wei Wuxian said earnestly, because of course he kept it stashed on him at all times. Nie Huaisang face-palmed behind him. 

Nie Mingjue decided he was too exhausted to give a fuck. He downed the whole thing at once and instantly regretted it, thinking that death might have been kinder, and then slipped back into sleep with his mouth on fire and his brothers bickering beside him. 

Soft fingers threading through his hair woke him later, along with the weight on the bed and gentle music in the background. 

Nie Mingjue made a sleepy questioning sound at the back of his throat, blinking his eyes open to find Lan Xichen smiling down at him. 

“Xichen?” He croaked, squinting blearily at him. He closed his eyes briefly as Xichen tenderly brushed the hair away from his eyes. 

“Huaisang wrote to me when you were hurt,” Xichen said, mouth curling. “He says you’re a terrible patient.” 

“He’s a much worse nurse, believe me,” Nie Mingjue assured him, hearing an offended “Hey!” from across the room. 

Xichen laughed. “Rest, Mingjue. I brought Wangji along to play Healing for you.” 

That would be the source of the music, he assumed, looking past Xichen to where Lan Wangji knelt in front of his guqin and played with single-minded intensity. Wei Wuxian was kneeling beside him, shuffling a little closer every time he thought Lan Wangji wasn’t paying attention to him, as though he simply couldn’t help himself.

Xichen’s smile faded as his fingers brushed the bandages on his chest. “This is…” 

“It looks worse than it is,” Nie Mingjue assured him. 

“No, it’s exactly as bad as it looks,” Huaisang said irritably from the corner chair. 

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes. “We have a saying in Qinghe,” he told Xichen, catching his hand and pressing it to his mouth. He watched a pretty pink flush spread across his cheeks and momentarily lost his focus. 

“And what is this saying of yours?” Lan Xichen prompted, threading their fingers together.

“It’s far from the heart,” Wei Wuxian piped up. 

Nie Minjue nodded seriously. “Exactly.” 

“This is… really not that far,” Xichen said doubtfully, eyes dropping to his chest. 

“Doesn’t matter!” Wei Wuxian chirped. “Still counts.” 

“It mostly just means that it won’t kill me,” Nie Mingjue explained when Xichen blinked back at Wei Wuxian, clearly baffled.

“Oh, I see. So it’s a motto for the way you Nies brush off fatal wounds on the regular?” Xichen teased, but his grip was tight. 

“Now you’re getting it,” Nie Mingjue said warmly. 

Xichen leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I was scared when I got the letter,” he admitted quietly, resting his forehead against Nie MIngjue’s. 

“I’m fine,” Nie Mingjue promised, and pretended he couldn’t hear Huaisang’s disbelieving scoff. He lifted the hand not already held in Xichen’s to touch his jaw with careful fingers. “I missed you.” 

“Ew,” Wei Wuxian said like the brat he was. 

“Would you perhaps like a new brother, Xichen?” Nie Mingjue asked with feigned sincerity. 

Wei Wuxian just laughed. “You said I was irreplaceable, da-ge. That means you’re never getting rid of me.” 

Yes, he supposed that was true, NIe Mingjue thought fondly. Now they just had to make A-Xian believe it.

But that would come later, when he could sit up on his own without the whole world spinning around him. He wouldn’t be chasing his brothers around for a while yet, but the spark of dread at being bed-ridden faded with Xichen’s soft touch, the mindless chatter from Wei Wuxian, Huaisang’s occasional commentary, and the music finally lulling him back to sleep. 

[angstymdzsthoughts]

1/ >mpreg< wrh won the sunshot campaign, but both his sons still die, so he wants to be repaid. he demands a chosen bride from each sect for his harem and so nhs, jgy, lxc, and even jyl (who is married and left jl as an orphan bc jzx died during the war) and wwx.. he especially wants wwx and so he keeps him separate from the rest, seals his power and brainwashed him, turning him into a pliant bedwarmer whose only job is to provide wrh with more children.

2/ >mpreg< wrh made sure to control his new harem with a tight leash, going so far as to damage their golden cores to weaken them. lwj is going mad bc not only his brother but also his beloved wei ying were taken away to serve wrh. he tried to reach out to other sects, asking them to cooperate to take their hostages back but none of the sects were brave or strong enough to go against wrh, especially after the devastating war.

3/ >mpreg< after thirteen years of gathering intel and strength as well as countless failed infiltration missions, lwj has had enough of it and decided to sneak into nightless city himself. he managed to find his brother and nhs but there were no signs of the others. it broke his heart to see the swollen stomach of his brother as he told him that none of them had seen wwx since he was first taken in. wwx is wrh's favorite, birthing the most children for him out of all of them.

4/ >mpreg< nightless city was crawling with children who look like wrh. lwj told lxc that he's making a plan to help all of them escape. lxc was scared for his children, but didn't object. wrh found out abt lwj sneaking into his castle, but kept hush abt it bc he wants lwj to suffer more. he threatened lxc to act like he was going along with the plan and telling wrh everything or he's going to kill their youngest toddler. he could just put a new one in him, anyway.

5/ >mpreg< lxc just prayed lwj would have enough time to escape when their escape plan fail later. after about a week of hiding in nightless city, lwj stumbled upon a restricted area. he managed to sneak in and he was horrified to find wwx inside, heavily pregnant, but without an ounce of discontent on his face, in fact he looked overjoyed. the man was calmly combing his hair while humming to himself. lwj was so shocked he accidentally made a noise that alerted wei ying of his presence.

6/ >mpreg< "who's there?" wwx immediately grabbed a hairpin for self defense but relaxed when his eyes found it was just lwj. "oh hi lan zhan" he was smiling but it was so unsettling. "why do you hv to sneak in like a mouse? my a-yuan can do better than that when he was five" lwj couldnt move, couldnt say anything. "lan zhan? what's wrong? we haven't met for many years and the first thing you do is sneak into my room and frown at me?"

7/ >mpreg< "wei ying. have to get you out of here" lwj finally uttered. "what? why?" lwj couldnt believe his ears. "why would i want to leave master ruohan and our children?" lwj wished he could just die on the spot. "but- he forced you and the others-" "forced? what are you talking about?" lwj saw wwx was getting agitated and it unnerved him to no end. "if youre coming here just to disturb me then just go!" wwx's voice was getting louder and lwj has no choice but to leave before he was found

8/ >mpreg< a couple weeks later, lwj finally managed to get the last of his plans taken care of. he made a huge distraction that allowed wrh's harem to flee to their designated meeting spot (they came right back in after but lwj never knew that). they could bring the smaller children with their mothers but they would have to leave the older children behind since wrh had had his influence on them already. the only one left was wei ying. he had to get wei ying back no matter what.

9/ >mpreg< lwj didnt care if he would only be able to take wei ying or if wei ying was going to hate him. he couldnt let wei ying go again. he inched closer to wwx's living quarters and he barely got a greeting in before the maidservants announced wrh's arrival. wwx immediately told lwj to hide in his room. wrh came in and wwx all but jumped into his arms. lwj could see everything. he could see wrh kissing he face he dreamt of kissing for so many years, touching the body he dreamt of touching for so many years.

10/ >mpreg< lwj ended up hiding for a good portion of the whole day, trying to close his ears as he heard sounds he once dreamt wei ying would let out only for him. swallowing his own tears as wwx begs wrh to ravish him. wrh didnt leave until wwx woke up from his nap. when he deemed it safe enough, lwj sneaks back out, still wrecking his brain trying to think of ways to convince wwx to leave with him. "wei ying, come back to gusu with me, please" wwx pouts, shaking his head. "im not going anywhere, get lost!" "wei ying please" lwj tried approaching wwx, but he just kept backing away. "get lost!"

11/ >mpreg< lwj kept pushing, maybe if he could just <i>touch</i> wei ying, he could identify and undo whatever spell wrh did on wei ying. wwx kept backing away, replying to all of lwj's pleas with 'get lost'. he wasnt going to let this man who he hadnt seen for so long take everything away from him. soon, there was no more space for wwx to retreat to, trapped between lwj's approaching form and his vanity table. he grabbed a hairpin and swung, slashing lwj's perfect face. blood dripped on the floor, but lwj couldnt care less, not when wei ying is inches away from him. he <i>had</i> to have wei ying back.

12/ >mpreg< lwj was prepared to just hit wwx's pressure points to render him unconscious and carry him outside, his pregnancy be damned, but before he could, wei ying was already screaming. "a-yuan!" it took mere seconds before the door slammed open, revealing a teenager with a sword in his hand. he had wei ying's eyes. he could recognize that shade of silver anywhere, but the glint of malice there was unmistakably wen ruohan's. the teenager charged at lwj, who was caught off guard and it took no time before lwj was subdued and bleeding, kneeling by wwx's bed with the teenager's foot keeping him still. "scum! you dare try to harm my mother?!"

13/ >mpreg< "would never try to harm wei ying.. only want wei ying back" lwj croaks. "preposterous!" wei ying's son (a-yuan, lwj's mind provided) barked. "who do you think you are, to boldly lay claim on my mother? you deserve death for this!" lwj didnt respond. he was focused on wwx sitting in front of him, caressing his baby bump lovingly, creating an image of heavenly bliss, but everything in lwj screamed that it was <i>wrong- wrong, wrong, wei ying is</i> "lan zhan" lwj's world stopped.

14/ >mpreg< wwx looked at lwj in the eyes. his eyes look sad. disappointed. <i>at wangji</i> "why do you keep antagonizing me? back then you kept telling me that i was wrong, kept telling me how i was supposed to be. i know you didnt like me before and i left you alone. now youre here pestering me, as if i have no mind of my own to think and feel. and you ask me to leave with you?never," wwx's eyes hardened with grievance. "i suggest you leave immediately and maybe you'll get to keep your life" lwj's eyes widen. <i>wei ying misunderstood, must tell him- </i> "no, wei ying, youre under a spell. wei ying would never-" lwj wheezed as a sharp kick hit his back. "shut up!" wen yuan growled, "if i hear you speak rubbish one more time i would-" "a-yuan" wwx interrupted. "wen yuan, my beloved firstborn, it's okay. mother's got this," he gave his son an assuring look. then he shifted his gaze back to lwj. "lan zhan, im not under any spell. i really do belong here. you can check" wwx held out one hand for lwj to touch. lwj desperately took the hand. he wanted to relish in the softness of skin at first, the warmth he longed for, but quickly decided something was more important. he checked wwx's meridians, his qi pathways. lwj paled. he could feel nothing.

15/ >mpreg< "why" all the breath left lwj. "wei ying, he- he made you birth so many children, kept you locked here-" wwx's brows arched. "i love my children. i have always wanted a house full of children. master ruohan gave me what i wanted. i bear children for him because i love him" if this was heaven then lwj would rather go to hell.angstymdzsthoughtsOofWas that the last part?reblog-monsterno hold oni have like 1 or 2 moreangstymdzsthoughtsOk

16/ >mpreg< <i>wei ying, his wei ying, his heart, his soulmate, loves-?</i> "i love master ruohan, the father of my children. if he wants me to stay, i will stay. if he wants me to go, i will go. but you, you dont get a say" lwj heaved as wwx pulled his hand back, his heart too heavy and his head too painful. "ah, my bad" wwx gave lwj a side eye. "you know to much now" lwj swore he could saw wwx smirk at wen yuan but nothing mattered anymore. lwj gasped when a sword pierced his chest but it was a welcome pain to numb his aching soul. "just so you know," wwx's eyes glinted with glee as he bends down in a mock attempt to whisper into lwj's ear. "i love being pregnant. i beg master ruohan to breed me again even a few weeks after giving birth. im never going to stop, i cant stop," he giggled and lwj was somehow relieved that wwx's laughter was the last thing he heard before everything dissolved into nothing.

[ending notes] back in gusu, just as everyone was busy with the absence of their sect leader, only a letter came a few days later with a familiar red seal and a bloody headband. someone tried to violate a member of wen ruohan's harem and the perpetrator has been dealt with accordingly. their sect leader never returned.

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 4 - Meng Yao has a crush & Foxglove likes to babble

Hello everybody, welcome to episode 4. I slept like a baby last night, but I have a migraine so I may sound a bit incoherent. (Post episode Foxglove here, I’m not incoherent in this, I’m just ranty)

Poor WWX. Funny story, during my first? Second? Year of Med School I fell aspleep on my biophysics notes during exam period, woke up at 9pm when my alarm for my meds started ringing, realised what I’d done and called my mum (who was on a 24h shift at the hospital) crying. In hindsight is hilarious because I had something like two weeks until the exam so I lost no more than a few hours but oh well.

Full disclosure here: I don’t like the Lan sect, LXC, LWJ and the Ducklings excluded I think they’re a bunch of hypocrites. You can’t call yourself righteous and boast about your almost 4000 rules and then shrug when people decide to commit genocide.

Also, 4000-ish rules? Fuck that noise, there’s a post floating around here where some amazing soul translated what they could see of the Wall of Rules and yeah, some of them are in the “don’t be an asshole, don’t hurt yourself or others” vein which, absolutely fair. But things like “dress properly” who are you to tell me what and how I cover my body with? “Don’t be promiscuous” wow thanks for the slut shaming my dudes. “Don’t smile foolishly/don’t smile too much”, “sit properly”, “don’t be too sad”, “don’t be too happy”. You’re telling me these are rules, not guidelines, not common sense stuff. RULES. You’re telling me people get punished for grinning or crying. Fuck off mate.

And we can’t forget the golden example of hypocrisy “Don’t talk to Wei Wuxian” so much for “don’t speak ill of others”.

Is my Western Girl showing? I’m sorry, I’m from Spain and I was raised by the guidelines “don’t be an asshole, don’t hurt yourself or others, don’t take anyone’s bullshit, live and let live, have courage and be kind, we will always love and support you” so some stuff in here is very very grating. I don’t have enough knowledge about the culture to discern if it is because of my modern sensibilities or because my culture is so different.

Oooooohhh I don’t like birds. I mean, I love crows, ravens and birds of prey to an unhealthy degree, but they keep their distance. The other day a pigeon flew into my building and decided that my (very dark) doorstep was the place to have a rest. I screamed like a banshee.

Hey, those two assholes at the back, get the fuck out of here.

LXC protective mode activated.

You will never convince me Meng Yao did not develop a monster crush right then and there.

Oh no. It’s this asshole.

Oh WangJi about to cut a bitch.

Drag him WWX.

MY’s protective mode activated.

And LXC is too done with this shit. Yep, NHS also thinks MY got a massive crush.

WQ aka Qishan Wen’s only braincell.

It’s the One Braincell Trio!

Notice me sempai! Omg JC’s faces.

This is where I dump all my canon-divergence AUs:

Meng Yao stays in Cloud Recesses. He and LXC keep gazing longingly into each other’s eyes.

NHS introduces him to the other two from the One Braincell Trio. WWX takes one look at him and goes “yep, you’re my friend now, I’m kneecapping anybody who fucks with you.” Because there’s no way he wouldn’t be sympathetic to MY after his own childhood (omg, both of them drunk, making terrible gallows’ humour jokes about living poor and mostly homeless while JC and NHS just listen horrified). JC goes into overprotective bro mode with MY. I mean, he still can’t emote for shit but he’s made very very sure that he will cut a bitch for MY and at least he knows MY has a brain, not like someone else he knows.

Shijie makes friends with MY because Shijie is a goddess and MY is so confused because how the hell does someone so kind exist? And she wants to be friends? And she doesn’t care at all about his past? What? MY.exe has stopped working.

Maybe JZX gets his head out of his ass and goes to talk to MY and warn him about what an asshole JGS is, because I refuse to think JZX doesn’t know it. Maybe MY hears him disparaging Shijie and decides that nope, the Jins can fuck right off every single one of them is a rude idiot; it’s ok with him because of his parentage (it’s not ok) but no one touches Shijie. The Yunmeng sibs is where it is at.

And that’s when he unleashes his full Slytherin powers on behalf of his new family. Because he does indeed have a fully functioning brain and shit is going to get really ugly really fast for all the people he loves if he doesn’t try and mitigate the damage somehow.

(A lot of mutual XiYao pinning is going on in the background because I live for the angst ok. LWJ fully approves of him as a brother-in-law tho)

A lot of terrible shit still happens because this is my AU and I want pain, but not only does JGS not have MY’s enormous brain on his side when he tries to seize power, he’s actively working against him (you can’t tell me MY wouldn’t get the kick of his life publicly bringing down and exposing his terrible father).

I’m sorry, back to the commentary.

This two idiots omg.

It’s WQ! Drag him WQ (gently)

I’m going to channel my ballet teacher here for a second: put your hair up! (You bunch of spider crabs, as she would call us)

I mean, JC’s hair is clearly in his face when he’s doing drills and, while the visual of all that dark hair whipping in the wind with the robes (another beef I have, they look like they’d catch on everything) is very dramatic I can assure you it’s fucking annoying. Plus it limits your visual field a lot. Again, I know jack about the culture and people can fly on swords here so why am I complaining about hair but let me live.

I used to have that much hair (then I got a pixie, now I’m growing it back out) and smacking yourself on the face with your own braid hurts.

Shijie knows what’s up with Jiang “I can only show anger” Cheng.

My one track mind when I saw the fish: Anisakis!

I think I would absolutely become a vegetarian if I got dropped in the past tbh. Not only is there no quality control of animal products (hello Trichinella), there’s also no way to do a proper cold storage (hello Salmonella). I’ve read and seen to many horror stories due to contaminated animal byproducts and, while vegetables pose their own risk (hello E. Coli) usually you only have to be thorough at washing and peeling to not have trouble.

5am wake up call without coffee. Fuck that noise.

Wei “I’m a petty gremlin” Wuxian.

I once called WWX a “mad scientist with ADHD” on an AO3 comment and I stand by that assessment.

Ok, but why the turtle caricature? It’s because turtles are “old and wise” like LQR? Is that the joke? Or are they laughing at WWX’s balls?

AW NO PAPERMAN.

“Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? // Where, would you look if I asked you to get me a bezoar? // And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?” It’s pretty much the same energy. LQR is Ancient magic China’s version is Severus Snape down to the pettiness. He tries to catch WWX in a mistake, and when he can’t he dismisses his knowledge (look at Shijie’s face when he says WWX should not be proud to know what he does). He keeps pushing until WWX’s runs into a wall, then uses LWJ to “show him how it’s done” I mean, look how smug he looks and how uncomfortable everyone else is.

“Pity... clearly, fame isn't everything.”

(No, I don’t like LQR and I don’t like Severus Snape either; tragic past and sacrifices do not give you a pass to abuse children don’t @ me, I’m not interested in changing my mind)

And here is where all my “mad scientist with ADHD” hc stem from.

“No screaming in Cloud Recesses.” Screams LQR (yes, I’m 100% that bitch)

WEN NING IS HERE HI WN YOURE SO PRECIOUS.

But intercepting an arrow mid flight is some Geralt of Rivia Witcher bullshit right there.

Detective Wei strikes again.

The scenery is gorgeous my god.

Can we talk again about how this 16-year-old boy reacted to someone sneaking up on him by drawing his sword and attacking? That’s not fucking normal, that’s a common reflex in soldiers or people with PTSD.

(The Netflix translation has him calling LWJ “WangJi” and I die)

Thanks for reading!

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

MDZS ch.103

so as you can see i’m almost fully back on tumblr screaming my heart out, i can’t believe i managed to hold on this long??????? i missed you all and my sons so much?????? thank god i didn’t go on with mdzs, i left with jiang cheng crying and that was AlReDy ToO FreAkInG MuCh for my heart so-

*takes a deep breath again*

Sect Leader Jiang’s words were eternally tainted with mockery. But this time, whom he mocked was no one but himself.

Suddenly, he said, “I’m sorry.”

Wei WuXian hesitated, “… You don’t need to say sorry.”

how

is it

that i already feel like crying. jc said sorry. okay but can i hug him? moreover, can i hug wwx? LET ME IN, MDZS, LET ME IN

EDIT:

It wasn’t something he liked to reminisce about. He didn’t want to be reminded again and again of what it felt like when his core was cut out or what price he had to pay. If this were exposed in the past, he’d most likely laugh and comfort Jiang Cheng, ‘It’s not that big of a deal anyways. Look at me all these years. Without the core, I still managed to come through, didn’t I? Beating everyone I wanted to beat, killing everyone I wanted to kill.’ But now, he indeed didn’t have the strength left to put up such a confident, nonchalant pretense.

From the bottom of his heart, he knew he wasn’t so indifferent about it after all.

*chokes*

oh dear god... so, this chapter apparently really wants to kill as by starting out with all those things we already knew deep down, like how hard of a decision it was for wwx to give up his golden core, how he can’t pretend that it’d didn’t hurt anymore, both physically and emotionally -we all know how proud of his skills wwx was, and he gave up everything for jc. how much, at the same, he owns to the jiangs for the life he was able to conduct. it pains me to imagine how conflicted he must have felt with himself.

we all knew this, but it’s all in plain sight now, for everyone to read.

and it freaking hurts, it hurts so much and wwx is hurting too and i can’t absolutely stand it.

EDIT 2:

Take it as repayment, or take it as redemption. Take it as he’d never received the golden core to begin with.

After explaining things to himself like this again and again, it was as though he was truly as confident and as nonchalant as he made it seem like on the surface, and along the way he could even praise himself for such a state of mind, whether he was lying or not.

But that was in his past life.

(wwx’s soul is so good and full of light it makes me feel like reading his thoughts is astonishing but incredibly dangerous like walking on water. 

but that last line also tells me that he is growing out of the pain he suffered and caused, which shows maturity, which feels like real redemption to me. I WANT MY SON HAPPY-)

He clenched Lan WangJi’s hand, saying to Jiang Cheng, “Right now, I do really think… it’s all in the past. It’s been too long. There’s no need to struggle with it any longer.”

(LOOK AT MY SON DRAWING STRENGTH FROM HIS HUSBAND)

EDIT 3:

At this point, still enveloped in Lan XiChen’s robe, Nie HuaiSang gradually woke up. Moaning lightly, he managed to crawl up, still bleary-eyed, “Where am I?”

hello sleeping beauty! how is it that nhs is always where he should be, poor boy

EDIT 4: nhs waking up to wwx and lwj snuggled against each other and feeling like he is gonna faint again is me

EDIT 5:

At the same time, a series of strange sounds came from behind the Guanyin Temple, as though something was being spurt out. A moment later, the cultivators who’d been digging began to wail too.

okay, PLOT. i keep forgetting that. WHAT’S GOING ON

WHAT SCENT

oh no, sushi is alive

oh yes!! seems like jgy isn’t feeling sO gOoD-

EDIT 6:

Lan XiChen hesitated for a moment before asking, “What happened?”

Jin GuangYao paused in surprise. Blood finally seemed to have rose to his cheeks as he managed a smile, “An accident.”

uuuugh maybe i feel a little bad for him, like, why do you have to be so bad, jgy-

EDIT 7:

The pungent smell dissipated gradually. Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi got up as well. A tall mountain of dirt could be seen beside a deep ditch. Quite a delicate coffin lay at one side, atop it a pitch-black box. Both of the two had been opened already, and thin, white smoke continued to rise from within.

wait. wait, so, i am confused, what the hell. why the coffin? what’s that black box? white smoke?? like the white thingy making living people a little less living?? so jgy is going around opening coffins for what? the white pouder?

*yi city arc, triggered*

EDIT 8: nope, okay, it actually looks poisonous enough, it killed so many people!! what the hell is going on uuuuugh

EDIT 9: oh, no, okay, he wanted that coffin, expected someone was in there probably. (well, of course he did, ptf, it’s a coffin)

but oh? no corpse!

Lan XiChen approached. After he saw the horror that had become of the palace, he was shocked, “What in the world did you bury here? How could this be??” 

(thank you, xichen, for giving voice to our inner questions!!)

His expression was terrifying indeed, sending chills down Nie HuaiSang’s spine. He didn’t even dare vomit too loudly, covering his mouth behind Lan XiChen’s back, shivering whether out of fear or the cold. Lan XiChen turned around and said a few words of comfort to him, while Jin GuangYao didn’t even have the strength to upkeep his kind, gentle front.

(is it me, or seeing jgy angry is actually comforting? like, he is always so calm and smirky, chilling in the background while the world collapses following his schemes, so him being like this, angry and no longer able to keep up his facade... hello, human jgy!

also, nhs!! OMG BABY, he took it bad, tho i would probably throw up too)

EDIT 10: okay people, let’s all sit back and admire wwx being more clever than everyone else alive.

EDIT 11:

Jin GuangYao’s eyes slowly moved towards him.

Wei WuXian, “The one who told Qin Su the good things you did was Madam Qin’s previous maid, BiCao. But when BiCao suddenly decided to expose everything, did you really believe nobody was pushing things forward from behind? And Maiden SiSi, the one you locked up. Who saved her? Who was the one that told her to go to the YunmengJiang Sect with BiCao and expose your secrets in front of everyone? If they could find out every single one of those hidden secrets of yours, Sect Leader Jin, what’s so hard about coming here beforehand and switching what you wanted to dig up with poisonous smoke to give you when you came?”

oh, wow. wow. okay, so someone effectively was behind it, someone different from jgy, sushi and their peers, i think i guessed right, tho i thought it was lxc pulling the strings secretely. but since he was a prisoner... uhm. it’s gonna be someone unbelievable but totally fitting.

WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY EXCITING OMG

was i right with lxc? or is it maybe someone from the jin sect who wished to wash his/her hands of what jgy is doing? or uhm.......... nhs? uh. because i’m thinking the coffin could have been the one where nmj’s corpse before everything happened...?

EDIT 12:

Wei WuXian grinned, “Sect Leader Jin, have you ever thought that perhaps tonight you’re a mantis, yet there’s an oriole* behind you? The one who’s been watching you might be hiding in the dark this exact moment, observing your every move. No, maybe, it’s not a person…”

The storm muffled the thunder. As he heard the words ‘not a person’, for a split second, something that could be described as fear flashed across Jin GuangYao’s face.

I AM FREAKING SHIVERING WHAT THE HELL WHEN DID THIS BECOME A HORROR STORY!!! can it really be a strange entity trying to get revenge or something? OMG EXPLAIN

uuuuuh that fAcE jgy! THAT’S WHAT YOU DESERVE, T R E M B L E

EDIT 13:

Wei WuXian thought, To other people, Su She’s quite sarcastic, and to Lan Zhan, he’s even more resentful. But he’s sure quite respectful towards Jin GuangYao.

As he thought this, he couldn’t help glancing at Lan WangJi, just in time to see a streak of ice flash before his eyes.

Voice cold, Lan WangJi spoke to Su She, “Turn around.”

Su She was looking down, applying medicine to the scratch marks at his chest, facing them sideways. As he heard Lan WangJi’s almost inviolable command, he involuntarily turned around. As he turned around, both Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling widened their eyes. The grin on Wei WuXian’s face disappeared as well.

He almost couldn’t believe it, “… It’s you!”

GUYS W H A T

WHO IS HE WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH THEM ISN’T THAT SUSHI tho it’s true, he is rude with everyone, wth wTH-

WHO IS THIS

WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? GOOOOOOOOOOOD I WANNA KNOW!!!