#My work has been pretty good about it but that’s because it almost definitely happened AT work every time

[saddled-on-stars]

Hellooo, may I request something Keatlejuice x reader ?

I was thinking of something inspired from the “do you think I’m qualified” scene from the first movie and basically the idea is: Beetlejuice keeps flirting with reader, which hasn’t been very successful so far… But at some point his voice switches back to his “normal” one and reader pauses because since when does he sound so good??

He notices the reaction and kind of uses it to his advantage to make reader swoon hehe

Thank youu :))

okay- don't mess this up, don't mess this up, don't mess this up... HI THERE MY LITTLE LOVELY CONSTELLATION! Okay, full disclosure, I've never watched either of the Beetlejuice movies. I don't really know how the model exactly works, so I'll make it to similar to the musical; where you just find him on the roof. (I HOPE THAT'S OKAY, DARLING) So yeah, I've never watched either of the movies... I KNOW THE PLOT OF THE FIRST ONE THOUGH, AND I WILL EVENTUALLY WATCH THEM BOTH I SWEA- As far as Keatlejuice goes, I don't know a thing about that scene, and nothing came up when I looked it up, so I'm just going to go off of what you typed. 😀 Please feel free to criticize if it's inaccurate. OKAY, HERE YA GO, LOVELY <3 Happy reading! - Star ★ -★-★-★-★-★-★-★- Trigger Warnings: Explicit Language, Suggestive Themes, Mentions of Break-Up -★-★-★-★-★-★-★- Key: ★ (Y/N) = Your Name ★ (L/N) = Last Name -★-★-★-★-★-★-★- - ★ - Spooky Smooth - ★ - Lying on your bed, listening to some music, it's about 2am. You have your earbuds in, connected to your phone, and are wearing some comfortable shorts and your favorite hoodie. You begin fiddling with the drawstrings, thinking of who gave it to you, then you frown in sadness. It was given to you by your now ex-partner, and they were a jerk. A TOTAL JERK. It all ended at dinner last night. But you hung on, and you still can't figure out why. But that's not why you're sad. You're angry and upset and heartbroken all at the same time, for letting yourself believe that they loved you. It crushed your heart into billions of pieces when they repeated to you that you just weren't good enough. They weren't the first ex, definitely not, and so, as usual, you thought they were the one. You poured your heart and soul into that relationship, only to have your heart shattered. You saw them in the bed with that fucking chick from some cheap-ass bar. You were so angry that you did things to them that you weren't proud of. You impaled all four tires on their small old Nissan Versa, to be specific. You wanted to do so much more, but your heart couldn't take it, and it crushed you in the most tragic way possib-

You drift back to reality as you hear something shuffling above you. It sounds like it's coming from the attic or the roof. You assume it's some sort of critter, and almost fix your earbuds back into your ear, until you hear something... sobbing, perhaps? Sniffling? Letting your curiosity get the best of you, you push your earbuds back in, still listening to the sad, yet comforting music, and you climb out of your window onto the roof. You climb up to the top, and quickly find yourself captivated by the stars. It seems to ground you for the first time you've felt content in a while. You pause your music, hearing something else. It's the sound of a small flyer blowing in front of you. Curiously, you grab it, wondering what it might say. Betelguese - The Bio-Exorcist. Speak my name three times. Betelguese? Like the star? Eh, sounds strange, and this flyer seems pretty aged and old. But how'd it get up high on the roof? You consider calling whoever this 'Betelguese' person is. If they're a bio-exorcist, then they could get rid of your nasty ex. After all, that bitch has some shit comin'. "Bettle-goose, Bettle-goose, Bettle-goose." You close your eyes, expecting something crazy to happen, but the only movement and sound are the stars twinkling and the crickets below chirping. You suddenly see another flyer blow by, and you pick that one up as well. Beetlejuice - The Bio-Exorcist. Speak my name three times. Now you understood. Whoever this person is, they must be here, and so, you put your earbuds back in their designated case, preparing for what's to come. You hold your hoodie in a self-hug, bracing yourself and you begin: "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." You close your eyes once again, fearing that something large might happen that might spook you, but instead you hear a raspy voice say, "It's showtime~" Suddenly, a giant puff of green smoke appears in front of you, and you're slightly startled, but your curiosity overpowers your fear. Standing there before you is some sort of creature? No, this must be the Beetlejuice guy. He's in a black-and-white striped tuxedo, complete with some typical black shoes. Though, it's all dirty, covered in green spots from here to there. His hair is a pale green, sticking out in all different directions, and his eyes are surrounded by black circles, and you can't tell if it's a fashion choice or not. "Hiya, Babes!", he says, his voice still raspy and rough. "H-Hello..", you reply, slightly still startled. He comes over and sits on the roof in front of you. "So, I heard ya' called m'name three times! Tre!", he says as he's holding up three fingers, his fingernails looking a little overgrown. 'He knows Italian? How strange...', you think. He puts his elbows on his knees, and lays his head on his hand, in a relaxed position. "So what's a pretty lil' thing like YOU doing, callin' a bio-exorcist?", he says, his eyes filled with flirtation. Damn. Straight to the point, you guess. "I-I've had my heart broken by some bitch, and I need you to get rid of them...", you say, while trying to avoid eye contact, as you can feel your eyes show your anger. His other hand comes up to his face as well, until he's resting in both of his hands. "Well then, who's the bastard, and we can make a deal, Babes! Don't worry, I don't bite-", he says as his hands come back to his knees and he leans closer.

"Unless... if you're into that sort of thing, Babes..", he says as he winks, his voice suddenly changed. It's no longer raspy and rough, but DAMN, it's smooth and gentle. You feel your cheeks flush, definitely flustered from his flirtatious remark. "I- uh, uhm-...", you stutter, trying to find the words to respond. He chuckles at your reaction, and he replies to you stuttering, "So, what do ya say, Babes? Wanna make a deal with the devilishly sexy?”.

He's so close to your face now, it's almost burning with electricity. You nod slowly, not knowing how else to respond. You've been holding your breath for a long time now, but your lungs are far from their limit. He winks, and brushes your thigh with his hand, and snaps his fingers. You release the breath you've been holding, as you realize that he's dissappeared into a cloud of smoke, leaving you breathless. "Damn, that voice..."

- ★ - Written by Saddled_On_Stars - ★ -

[kandadze]

Ep 27 loose thoughts

Well, that's one way of snapping someone shell-shocked out of making a drastic decision. I feel like PSJ snapped something in herself at this moment, too. Anyone else found the ancestor's commentary going on in the background while the girls are bawling their eyes out hilarious? Just me? Okay.

While I was waiting for the ever burning wood to activate or something, the moment WX opened the box to reveal dried flowers I choked. ZYC!!!

Baby!Yichen breaks my heart, so impressionable, so open to learn. It's interesting to see that the phrases about suffering we've seen him use as an adult might have come from WX... Not a fan of telling people in mourning to stop dwelling in misery and sadness like it's as simple as flipping a switch (not to mention, she apparently *just* met him for the first time? The heck?), but at least the rest of her words seem to have helped him... so much that he kept the flowers 😭 The irony of her snow metaphor contrasted with their current predicament is indeed exquisite, A+ for that.

Are they going to be saved by the power of lurrrrve??? (At least this time. Still holding out for how that's gonna play out in the finale.) I mean, what other way to sway an ancient creature who's seen pretty much everything there is to see, than to show them something new? What's that? A test for a future event? (I'm getting really paranoid about nothing we've seen so far being real. It's like Alice in Wonderland on a bigger scale. Or Finnegans Wake on a smaller scale. I don't know.)

Oooh Bingyi and Ying Long, our original doomed couple (of self-sacrificial idiots)! I would watch a whole drama just about them. And damn, I can definitely see where Zhao Yuanzhou got his masochism from. Stoppppp not "Just let me be the first star"! (Especially since I just remembered ZYZ's "I'll be the rain...") It's not supposed to be literal! 😭😭😭 Ahhhh this scene just broke me, also because it seems to reinforce the idea that ZYZ *has* to be killed for the greater good. The visualssss in the execution- sacrifice? What the heck do I even call it?- scene though, soooo good!

"Let me do it myself." LET ME DO IT MYSELF??? FUCKKKKKKK DAMNIT HE JUST- ::head in hands, crying forever::

"Remember. This is my choice, not yours. You don't have to bear any blame or guilt." That's not how that works. That's not how any of that works!

Again, we're dealing with choices. But the fact that ZYZ choice was the same as Ying Long's... the fact that YL says that neither he nor Bingyi had any regrets... oh this is going to hurt.

Oh? ZYZ's future is not what he wants? (And wouldn't that be funny, considering ZYZ's own words while schooling ZYC in the very first ep... 9 times out of 10, things don't go our way?)

"You two are really like us." 😭😭😭

I was wondering if they were going to show us what ZYC saw, and not only does the image of ZYZ's body on that dark floor mirror Ying Long's body floating in the water, both ZYZ and ZYC wear the same clothes as in the very few scenes from the trailer that didn't happen yet... These poor sods, they've been Going Through It for almost a decade now with the only end in sight being yet another tragedy (even if the drama seems to suggest that they don't see it that way at this point.) ::head in hands, crying continues::

"My friend is here. We'll go together." The *sound* I made. Everything else this drama has given me aside, the growth of these characters and their bonds is so well done, and absolutely precious to me.

I want Ying Long's hopes and wishes for them to become true. Seeing how there's hints everywhere in this drama, I hope the words of one of the most powerful beings in existence will count for *something* in the end! (Am I grasping at straws? Maybe. Let me be delusional for a bit longer.)

What do you mean, five, ZYC? What's Ying Lei, chopped liver?

Oof this *almost* hug before WX starts feebly hitting ZYZ. It's relief, it's anger, it's fear for the next time, it's all the feelings that became too big to contain. I feel her so much. (I would've started whacking both him and ZYC way earlier tbh 😅) And ZYZ allowing her that release before pulling her in for reassurance, patting her as if she was a scared child. 😭 Cut to PSJ, looking as if she wanted nothing more but to be the one offering the reassurance to WX. Cut to ZYC, remembering that willingly or not, he's going to hurt WX beyond reassurance. Once again, the bonds in this drama!

Wait hold up hold on what? You just removed Bingyi's blood from him, that should mean that ZYC will not have to become a demon, right? So what's that about developing the inner core? (Also, I just realized that so far all they got from this trip was "go east and ask for a dragon scale" lol) Thankfully him and ZYZ had their conversation(s) about titles and identities so being asked to make that particular choice was not completely out of left field at this point. And all he cares about is whether that means that the last trace of Ying Long will disappear! 😭 (I'm so with Bingyi on this one... I would hold onto that last shred of my friend's existence, too, *especially* if they offed themself via my goddamn sword.)

What's with that look after he says that he thinks he has it - the inner core - is there a joke here somewhere? (I *gotta* go back to learning the language, the things I'm undoubtedly missing on!) The only thing I can think of is - did they think he said he's pregnant??? ::dies:: "So what's your true form?" "Must be dragon." "I say you're a mule." "Better than being a monkey." "I'm a white ape!" ::dies again:: Nice to see we still get a friendly ribbing between all of them, and I can breathe after all the angst. Fingers crossed? There's still 5 minutes left...

Oh good, let's talk about getting Bai Jiu back! (I knew there was one more character from the opening credits that didn't show up yet... guess it's the rebel princess.) While Ao Yin is eavesdropping! Talk about good hearing. Sigh, here it comes, another goal they have that will conflict with Li Lun's; they want the scale to restore the sword, and LL not only doesn't want that to happen, the scale could potentially help him get rid of the poison.

Oh for fuck's sake, I think I was subconsciously waiting for Chongwu Camp to show up, knowing that they've eavesdropped on the gang earlier, and here they are. ZYZ should really think of putting up some sound barrier when they discuss important plans, everyone seems to know exactly what they'll be doing at any given moment!

Ahhhh we're getting a nod to that little cough and stumble WX had shortly before this trip. Something's wrong with Baize token? Or with her connection to it? We only have 7 episodes left, drama!

(ZYC is such a good little brother.) Oh great, it was the rebel princess who killed WX's dad? I repeat, we only have 7 episodes left!

Sigh... with only 7 episodes left, we *also* find out that the goddamn 3-face-mask has history with the princess? And has everyone and their mother sat on that little bridge???

This feels like the endless final scenes in Peter Jackson's "Return of the King," my head is spinning.

Note to self, *stop* looking at previews. Ying Lei, what the absolute fuck?

[angeltannis]

Guess who’s sick AGAIN! Four times in four months. This time it’s some kind of stomach bug where I can’t stop puking and can’t keep anything down.

I think I’m going to email my primary care doctor at this point because I don’t think this is normal. I’ve never been sick this many times in a row.

Also putting this last bit under a cut bc it’s absolutely Disgusting but also kind of morbidly fascinating to me (TW: VOMIT):

Every time I threw up last night, I blew my nose after - and chunks of undigested food came out?? Of my NOSE?? I don’t throw up like ever so maybe that’s normal, but that’s never happened to me before. It was horrifying!!

[myunghology]

twisted wonderland 2nd years, except they're helplessly in love.

pairings ; riddle, ruggie, azul, jade, floyd, kalim, jamil, silver x gn! reader. (seperate).

tw ; none.. unless it's a bit too cheesy..?

a/n ; my first twst work.. im terrified!!

☆ — RiDDLE ROSEHEARTS

nope. will not allow it. he has his priority- which is his grades. he won't allow himself to be distracted by you. (more below the cut!)

but you are gorgeous tho, he'll admit that.

oh, would you look at that.. he's been distracted.

other students, even students outside heartslabyul are getting a bit weirded out, like what do you mean he's stopping in his tracks just to watch you pass by.

doesn't even notice it himself that he's staring at you. it's about time he notices that he'd stopped walking is when floyd smacked his head..

well, to be fair, he's noticed himself that he gets nervous whenever he invites you to unbirthday parties, he feels like everything has to be perfect.

—which is why some heartslabyul students are kinda annoyed when you come. only because they have to do so much with riddle pressuring them every 10 minutes. they like you generally though!

plus riddle seems more relaxed when you're around. that's just a bonus though! (is it really)

cater has multiple pictures of riddle just staring at you— his gaze softening whenever his eyes land on you instinctively.

he offers to hold open the door for you whenever you run into each other outside the classrooms, he offers to help you whenever you ever get injured playing some sport, and he even let's you borrow his notes if you were absent in class for a good reason.

sure, maybe he might be a bit arrogant, and a bit of a cry baby, and definitely strict— but he has respect for everyone. especially you.

riddle rosehearts is truly, a gentleman in a world full of boys.

☆ — RUGGiE BUCCHi

him? in love? absolutely.

if ruggie was in love, it'll probably be obvious. he tries to hide it though,, but it's clear he isn't good at that.

he's pretty chill around you though, nothing too awkward.

let me tell you this, whenever you ask him for a request, he'll want something back. no, he isn't gonna ask for a kiss or a date. stop imagining that.

he wants you to pay him back by a favor, so that he can pull the "you owe me a favor, since i did ___ for you." card.

okay maybe then he'll ask you on a date. or he'll ask you to steal something from a student.

what can i say.. it's 50/50.. slowly leaning onto the date idea though.

ruggie isn't oblivious, or stupid either. he knows when he's in love. he's just too afraid to admit it. sometimes leona makes fun of him for being a "wimp" and to just confess.

also stares at you, but in class this time. bro isn't listening at all actually because he's too busy looking at you.

maybe i will admit that ruggie is a little shit but he's actually a sweetheart when he wants to be. it's a win/win situation if you like annoying guys but has a soft spot for you.

spoiler: he eventually sucks it tf up and soon confesses.

☆ — AZUL ASHENGROTTO

azul may be a tad bit conscious about what you think about him. screw that- he's definitely conscious about what you think about him. from not only about what happened during his overblot and from his insecurities.

he knows you aren't that type of person, but he can't help it.

it makes him feel a million times better when you reassure him though. even if it's making him a bit delusional.. but then again you might be saying that just because you pity him.

"or maybe they're just nice and they actually care have you ever thought of that" - floyd

you go to monstro lounge about once a week, and for sure, azul has sent jade and floyd to take care of you well, since of couse, most of the time he's busy.

floyd almost exposed azul's crush on you once when you two were chatting, thankfully jade was there to cover his mouth before he continued speaking.

but when he is actually there face to face actually talking to you, he sounds smug but in reality, he's a nervous wreck in the inside. you obviously know that though.

wait till you tell him that you find him cute..

he explodes

no i'm joking, he's just blushing really hard. like.. too much. again- it's kinda obvious that he likes you whenever you compliment him.

☆ — JADE LEECH

so, so respectful when talking to you. still a bit teasing though. he offers to help you even if you're carrying just one thing.

always glad to see you when you're visiting monstro lounge, floyd loves you just as much, but in a platonic way! he isn't going to steal jades version of his 'shirmpy'.

tried to make a drink thats named by you, azul didn't allow it, unfortunately. (for him). i'd be embarrassed tbh.

in your opinion jade is a bit weird.. but he's still super nice to you, no matter how weird this guy seems. he would never do anything that would make you uncomfortable.

similar to riddle- he opens doors for you, sometimes offers to cook for you, and sometimes treats you whenever you're at montro lounge. only if azul allows it though, which is pretty rare. like jade wtf dym "its on the house" no it's not shut up.

you sometimes wonder if his mushrooms are safe to eat or not.

it's probably best not to ask him though.

he may or may have not tried breaking into your dorm room because you weren't attending class and you weren't responding to his messages asking where you were. it was all on concern tho don't worry i swe-

genuinely doesn't have a problem with confessing, but he only confesses until he's confident that you like him back.

trigger warning for floyd though since he's probably gonna pop out anytime soon during the confession..

☆ — FLOYD LEECH

my condolences if he ever likes you.

just kidding, it'd be pretty fun if floyd started to like you. only if you really like his bone crushing hugs.

doesn't hide his crush on you at all, you gotta be super oblivious if you don't notice it if he didn't even confess to you yet the moment he finds out that he likes you.

you're definitely scared shitless whenever you see him. when you try to run away he chases you around the halls and he's so damn fast, it's nearly impossible to escape him.

plus- his mood swings too? who knows if he'll get excited when you run away from him or if he's gonna get pissed off.. but mostly he gets excited though.

has kabedoned you one, too many times. mostly to fluster you, but also to get your attention.

easily gets jealous- especially when someone else hugs you for a long time. no one can hug his shrimpy except him! he isn't possessive, that's just how floyd is.

also stares at you in class- but throws paper airplanes at you, with the writings inside saying "HI".

ends up getting in trouble because either he got caught, or riddle snitched. most likely the second one tho.

drags you to monstro lounge to help him clean up his OWN messes, but he (might) have intentionally done this to spend time with you..

☆ — KALiM AL-ASiM

probably one of the best people ever to have a crush on you if that even makes sense..

spoils you rotten, even more than when he spoils his friends which is obviously already huge. wanna buy something online but can't? he's already asking for the link so he can buy it for you!

you obviously feel bad whenever he does this, so you try to remind him that he doesn't have to do all of this stuff for you.

not only with gifts, he spoils you rotten with affection too. you feel bad for jamil as well, he seems annoyed, but as long as kalim's happy.

very very respectful and nice to you, and will stop anything you don't want him to do anytime, he sometimes flirts with you unintentionally too..

hugs you literally at literally any chance he gets, he's also pretty clingy, if you haven't noticed that yet.

shows you off to other scarabia students, it's pretty obvious that he has a crush on you too.

bro's lovesick

gets so upset when something happens to you because of him, worries that people will try to do some crazy shit to you as well because you have a good connection with him..

introduces you to his family like you're his wife or something.. and then when you ask him what are you guys he'll go:

"are we not engaged" "NO??"

he was fully convinced that you guys were dating already

he's a little bit delusional but that's ok..

☆ — JAMiL ViPER

like riddle, jamil does not have the time to fall in love with someone since he's already busting his ass off taking care of kalim.. and with his academics too. plus the overblot situation but we don't talk about that.

maybe you are a little bit scared of him as well, but little do you know this guy will literally adjust for you anytime. it's really hard to see though when he does.

VERY hard to see that he has a crush on you though. you'd confess and he'd be like,

"i gave you so much signs what do you mean i might not like you back"

you were starstruck when you heard him say that. what does he mean signs. does he mean when he glared at you in class..? you thought you did something wrong for a second.

like floyd, kalim once almost exposed jamil for liking you accidentally.. don't get me wrong, jamil didn't tell kalim anything, he just found out himself.

jamil definitely likes you trying his culture's food, especially if he cooked it himself! it's not obvious, but he lets a small smile creep up onto his lips.

studies with you too if you're ever having a hard time. studying? nah, more like tutoring.. he's kinda harsh at first but then softens up a bit when he sees that you're really struggling.

☆ — SiLVER

im sure we all know silver is a generally pretty reserved person. and that doesn't change even when he's crushing on you.

but you do notice him stealing glances from time to time whenever you walk past him, lilia definitely asks him about that.

he may be a tad bit more open with you than others? but it's purely because he trusts you.

you sometimes tie his hair to the hairstyle called "apple hair" when he's sleeping and he doesn't notice even when he wakes up, he only notices after looking at a mirror..

genuinely doesn't mind though. lilia thinks it's adorable (he also thinks you guys are perfect for each other)

and that's why lilias opinions are always important..

generally, you guys usually talk through chat because you two don't really have the time to talk to each other physically.

but still, he still thinks you're beautiful. even if he can't see you all the time. this dynamic is kinda like a hallway crush typebeat..??

lilia is your number 1 fan alongside malleus!! sebek still has mixed feelings but he likes you generally! he just isn't sure if he likes you for silver.. or if he's not sure if he likes silver for you.. does that make sense?

after awhile he joins malleus and lilia.

©myunghology

[mortalityplays]

Forgive me if I'm mistaking you for another person, but I remember you speaking at multiple points on the unsustainability of free social media services (I think especially in response to the cohost collapse?), and I'm curious on what your thoughts on bluesky are so far. I'm not an expert on the subject, but from what I've read previously it seemed like they were on track to be financially sustainable, but I don't know if the recent floods of users has thrown those projections off. Sorry if I'm mixing you up with someone else on my timeline, in that case just ignore me.

bluesky will almost certainly follow the same trajectory of monetisation => bloat => enshittification => decline as every other major platform built on venture capital and user hoarding. it's a terrible model that only works in the short term as a mirage for attracting funding and making founders look good for a year or two before they sell.

you can see the same effect in the decline of all the subscription box services that came into vogue just before covid: they feel great to use for as long as the initial injection of venture funding lasts, because the purpose of that funding at that stage is to attract users and impress the next round of funders with how pleasant/intuitive/efficient/ethical/good value the service is. that's the stage where they're handing out freebies and bowling over influencers, and every ingredient in the box is fresh and high quality and locally sourced. wow what a good deal, what a great system!!! why hasn't anyone done this before? the answer is because it's unsustainable by design. they rack up good reviews, sign on a billion new users, attract new funding from a bunch of much more credulous investors, and then gut all of the expensive parts. portions get smaller, ingredients get worse, packaging gets flimsier, prices go up, freebies turn into "5% off your first 9 boxes when you invite 3 friends", and customer service vanishes.

with social media (and platforms like discord) the logic is the same, it's just a little less glaringly obvious to the end user because they're not coming home to leaking packages of rancid chicken on the doorstep. bluesky has an advantage over tiny operations like cohost because it was founded by a billionaire making a point for the sake of his own image. it got a really significant chunk of startup funding, and the owner had existing connections and rep in the space to attract more. That's why it has survived the goldrush period, why it still feels good to use, and why users who have been burned so many times before are finally accepting it as a stable, reliable option. It's still in its venture capital honeymoon phase where the only thing worth spending money on is making the service attractive to users.

What I expect we will see next, with another mass influx of users from twitter and new funding from a rogue's gallery of tech venture sickos led by Blockchain Capital is a strong ramp up into monetising that userbase. They've already been pretty forthright about how they plan to do this, and I think it's a solid roadmap of how Bluesky will bloat and decay over the next few years:

this is a huge lol. don't worry, we're not going to hyperfinancialize the social experience through NFTs. the thing even crypto freaks started feigning amnesia about a year ago. real "our health conscious sodas are 100% arsenic free" messaging here. They know perfectly well that rubes users are suspicious of their typical 5 dimensional tech finance chess games and are patting our hands about last week's bogeymen so nobody worries too hard about whatever 'decentralised developer ecosystem' just happens to be helmed by a bunch of crypto guys. this definitely means something good and based and not a google-like single sign on user data harvesting operation.

This is the same shit that's currently rotting the floorboards of discord. Bluntly, there is no way to run a platform on this scale without gating functionality behind paid services. Discord has been squeezing free-tier file uploads and call quality etc. down steadily and cranking up subscription costs over the last year or two, throwing in chaff like animated avatar frames to try and justify the user cost. They're also doing the same misdirection thing again here, pointing to Thing We All Hate to deflect from thing we might not like very much when they do it. Booo elon booo we all hate elon!!! wait how do we feel about subscription models again,

watch out for this to kill porn on bsky like it has killed porn on every other social platform 👍 boooo we hate elon boooo stupid idiot and his 'everything app' booooo wait why do you need my tax information, what's that about mastercard,

Look, we are all aware social media is a money pit. Let's not forget dorsey was looking to sell twitter in the first place, long before elon's very public plunge into total online derangement. Subscription services are not going to plug the hole, so we are gradually going to see more and more spaghetti thrown at the wall while early funders shuffle cards and do their pyramid scheme bit bringing in stupider and stupider investments. this is the window in which bluesky will be temporarily worth using for us, for the idiot public, the poorly rendered crowd jpegs in the background of their venture capital MOBA. it's in their interests to slow and pad the decline as much as possible, because that is how they get maximally paid.

Given the scale of the money involved, and dorsey's weird ego investment, I think bluesky will probably manage a controlled drift for a good few years before it gets really bloated and painful. and by then we will all be so used to the *checks notes* decentralised developer ecosystem that we'll just be posting through it, watching another generation of columnists call another collapsing platform 'their beloved hellsite' and passing around that meme about not getting out of our chairs no sir until idk we all get on a fediverse neurolink alternative to stick it to the elongated muskrat and our brains pop peacefully in our sleep. which I guess is the closest thing to viability any social media platform can achieve.

anyway diogenes the cynic is also on bluesky

[satoruxx]

pairing: poly!sashisu x f!reader | 2k words summary: mentions of injuries, sashisu fluff, tiny bit of angst, pet names, shoko is literally wife, suguru is super touchy lol, satoru's a menace but he loves you, protective sashisu, extra protective satoru, shoko and satoru bicker for like half of this lol rheya’s note: offers you more of these three and runs away (sorry guys they literally won't leave my mind i swear they'd treat you so good)

one look at shoko’s frowning face and you’re already nervous, squirming in place as she leans in close to inspect your body. you have to take a deep breath—because while normally her close proximity makes you flush and stumble over words, this time you are anxiously silent.

because you can tell that she is anything but pleased. her eyes are narrow as they take in the wound on your stomach, lips pursed like she’s holding back a scolding.

which you know, you definitely deserve.

she scoots her stool closer to the examination table you’re sitting on, fingers coming up to undo the makeshift bandage you had tied around your torso in the midst of the mission.

you try to hold back your wince as she pulls away the fabric that sticks to your blood, but she catches it. she’s always been overly observant.

you shake your head at her when her gaze flickers up to assess your pain levels. “i’m fine.” you don’t mean for your voice to come out so hurried.

“looks like it.” her voice lacks the usual warmth, normally so sweet as she teases and dotes on you like you’re the only thing in her world. but this, this disappointment that she’s not good at hiding, has something in your chest tugging.

you think you might go crazy if she doesn’t smile at you in the next few minutes.

“oh c’mon,” you shrug, laughing carelessly because it’s not that bad. “it’s fine. besides i have a great doctor. i knew i’d be okay.”

shoko takes a deep breath, honey brown eyes boring into yours when she looks up again. “listen to me—” there is something odd about the way she’s speaking that has you sitting up a little straighter. “this is the one thing i hate doing for you.”

your mouth clamps shut, any trace of a smile gone.

“hell babe, i’d do anything for you,” she sighs, leaning closer to your face—so close you can see her dark lashes brush her cheeks when she blinks. “but i hate hearing that i have to come down here and heal you.”

the intensity of her gaze has you chewing on your lip again, an action that her eyes follow. but she doesn’t say anything else, leaning back to continue her work—though there is a freer air about her, like a pressure has been released.

you don’t say anything either, too focused on her and her pretty eyes and her warm hands and the way she loves you.

you hear the sliding door to the infirmary open, and immediately feel a familiar overwhelming presence worming its way into the room.

“you serious?” satoru’s voice goes high at the end of the question—barely concealed panic. “what the fuck happened?”

you hold back a grimace knowing that his focus is only trained on your wound. “it’s not as bad as it looks,” you offer weakly, but satoru is already in front of you, brows drawn tight in anger and something else.

“like hell,” he hisses, eyes darting between your face and body. “you almost died!”

“stop yelling at her.” suguru’s voice comes out exasperated as he enters, shooting satoru a weak glare—but you know him well enough to catch that he isn’t happy about this either. he takes a few steps until he’s directly in front of you, crouching next to shoko’s stool so that he’s in your line of sight. lavender eyes take you in, and you can see the the relief that seeps into them.

his palm comes up to gently hold your cheek. “okay baby?”

you’re nodding before he even finishes, doing your best to reassure because if there’s anything you hate it’s making him worry.

making them all worry.

suguru’s hand remains attached to your skin even as he turns to look at shoko. “how bad is it?”

shoko doesn’t look away, focusing on her hands as she sighs. ”it was deep. definitely could’ve been bad but…she’ll be fine.”

her eyes flicker up to yours, and you bite your lip nervously. you hear suguru inhale, fingers twitching against your cheek.

it is satoru who breaks the silence.

“what were you thinking?” he asks, low as he grits his teeth. there is a wild look in his eyes, cerulean glazed over with something you can’t quite place. the tone of his voice has shoko and suguru sharing a look, one that you don’t have the time to decipher because you’re too focused on the way satoru is clenching his fists.

your shoulders drop. “you’re mad.” it’s a statement, not a question, and you see the sharp look suguru sends satoru’s way.

“i’m not—” satoru inhales abruptly, interrupting his own words. “just—”

he stops speaking.

“he wants you to be more careful,” shoko fills the silence, still staring at your abdomen. “you can’t be careless like this.”

there’s a dip in her brows, one that matches the downward tilt of her lips. she doesn’t look at you, and you think you can feel the slight tremor of her hands as they press against your skin.

her expression has you unable to look away, feeling oh so cared for and protected under the warmth of her healing.

so you nod mutely, and almost cry in relief when you see the twitch of her lips as she finishes healing you. suguru chuckles under his breath, his empty hand lacing through your fingers and squeezing—a message that only you understand. “good,” he sighs, tilting his head fondly. “take care of yourself—at least for our sake, yeah sweetheart?”

shoko throws satoru a look even as he crosses his arms and glares at the wall, refusing to look at you. “that goes for you too, dummy!”

satoru’s head whips around to throw her an appalled glare. “i’m plenty careful!”

shoko wordlessly reaches out and tugs up his shirt, where you can see the faint remnants of a fresh battle scar. “didn’t i heal this for you not two days ago?” she rolls her eyes. “and the fact that you can heal it yourself is even worse.”

satoru pulls his shirt down and shoots her a glare that’s half a pout. “well maybe i wouldn’t be so bad at it if you were a better teacher!”

“like i’d spend my free time teaching you.”

“did you just wake up mean one day or were you born this way?”

“idiot. i told you—it’s fwoo, then hyoi!”

“what the hell does that mean, sho?!”

you watch the two bicker with a smile, and suguru looks down at you with a mirrored expression. “scared us a little there, baby.” he lowers his voice, palm sliding through your hair as he pushes a few strands back.

“didn’t mean to,” you grimace, leaning into his touch. “but it seriously wasn’t that bad.”

“i know,” he answers, eyes heavy with affection and fatigue and all the depth in the world. “we weren’t expecting it is all. we came back and nanami let us know what happened. satoru threw a fit y’know?”

you wince internally, knowing that it probably wasn’t very pleasant. “he did?”

“he’s an idiot but you should know he’s crazy about you, sweetheart.” suguru smothers an amused huff. “he stopped hearing anything after they said you were hurt.”

you don’t know what to say to that, but you don’t have to, because suguru’s smile widens like he understands. he always does.

“didn’t mean to make him worry,” you mumble, watching as shoko lazily punches at satoru’s gut, to which he dramatically groans even though he’s the one who had his infinity down for her.

“i know,” suguru grins, fingers brushing over your shoulder almost carefully. “he does too.”

you suppress a smile, feeling oddly grateful as you watch satoru whine and complain when shoko shoots sarcastic remarks at him.

something about all of this that makes you feel so blissfully comfortable.

“okay alright guys,” suguru finally sighs, shaking his head. there’s a tinge of amusement in his voice even as he shoots them an exasperated glare. “give it a rest.”

“she started it!” satoru says—indignant.

shoko huffs, rolling her eyes. “whatever.”

she turns back to you, gently cupping your cheek and rubbing her thumb over your bottom lip. “feeling okay, babe?”

“yeah,” you nod, feeling your skin warm under her touch. “feels a lot better.”

she stands up with a soft smile. “good. then you’re free to go.”

suguru exhales, his smile becoming a little more eased as he pushes your hair away from your neck. “that’s good. let’s go home then, yeah?”

you nod, starting to pull your shirt and uniform jacket back on. suguru steps away to give you room, standing next to shoko who nudges his shoulder affectionately.

“you know, i bet you do things recklessly just so that shoko can heal you,” suguru says to you—a teasing glint in his eyes.

you look up and grin, dramatically covering your mouth. “don’t expose me like that! i’ve been getting her attention like this for years!”

suguru laughs even as shoko shakes her head in amusement. “silly girl. you’re crazy.”

“you can’t blame me,” you shrug playfully, buttoning up your shirt. “it’s your fault for being such a good doctor.”

suguru squeezes shoko’s fingers in agreement, no doubt still lingering with the warmth of her technique. she laughs to herself, rolling her eyes fondly as she watches you finish getting dressed. “you should take a nice bath, babe.” she grins at you. “i can help you if the injury’s still a little sore.”

you nod and suguru smiles, slinging an arm around shoko’s shoulders. “good. then we’ll go back to the dorm and get it ready, yeah?”

you smile at them gratefully, no words needed, and they return the expression before heading out.

the echoing of the door sliding shut pierces the silence between you and the strongest. satoru is staring at the tiled floor like he’s about to kill it, shoulders drawn tight with tension.

you sigh, looking up at him almost meekly—so unlike your usual interactions. “you still angry at me, toru?”

you see the effort with which he exhales, glancing at you from the corner of his eyes just barely concealed by dark frames. he turns to take two full steps towards you, until he towers over your sitting form—and while most people would find it intimidating, you have always found satoru’s overwhelming presence to be a comfort.

his fingers reach up to push a strand of your hair away, deliberately tucking it behind your ear before his hand rests against your jaw. “‘course not,” he answers, voice low. his thumb traces over your jawline. “just panicked.”

“sorry.” you turn to press your lips against his palm, and you see his features soften.

he leans down to press a chaste kiss to your temple, an uncharacteristic softness that only you are privy to see. “‘s okay.”

“but you know i can take care of myself, right?” you ask him, almost imploringly because you have never wanted to look weak in front of someone who is so strong. satoru grins, eyes glinting with what almost seems like pride as he ruffles your hair.

“duh,” he laughs, taking your hands to pull you off the examination table. once you’re standing he slings an arm around your shoulders and presses his nose to your temple. “i’d be stupid not to. you’re crazy strong, y’know?”

you try to hide your pleased smile, even though you know that being acknowledged by him—by all three of them—will forever be what keeps you going.

“well at least you know,” you grin, and satoru rolls his eyes, fingers coming up to poke at your side.

“don’t get cocky.”

“look who’s talking!” you retort and he shakes his head, amused. satoru’s grip tightens imperceptibly, and you think yours does too, something telling you that you’ll never be able to let him go.

“c’mon sweets, let’s go get you that bath now, yeah? sho and suguru are probably waiting.”

you hum, a gentle smile tugging at your lips when you hear his words. you wrap your arm around his waist, leaning into him as he walks you back to the dorm—walks you home.

because that’s what the three of them are to you—home.

[ham1lton]

could i request a continuation of lewis x assistant yn when damson idris flirts with her ❤️‍🩹 could be texts or a blurb whatever u like!!! it made me laugh so hard to picture george going first of all what ‘work’ is yn doing 🤨 and lewis being like 😒😒😒

author’s note: i am very well aware that is giveon and not damson but please pretend it is <3 part of my dream girl universe and my 2k celebration! also there is an smau at the end :D

you only had one goal on your mind: to find damson idris and to not get flustered while pulling out your top pick up lines.

he was as elusive as he was handsome. showing up on the paddock occasionally while flocked by film crew, and almost always while you were busy in a rush. you prayed that he hadn’t seen you on the day you hadn’t brushed your hair and he just so happened to walk by you and smile in your general direction.

you had finished all of your work a day early, sending lewis’ emails and planning his day so that you would have a solid forty five minutes of seducing time. you had put on your favourite makeup look, styled your hair and even wore the skirt that made your legs look fantastic. it was go time.

you do a quick breath and teeth check as you walk towards him. he’s sitting on a couch, scrolling through his phone as you approach him.

“hi,” you say, as he looks up and you and smiles. “i’m yn, huge fan and not in the stalker way.”

“damson.” he laughs as he shakes your hand and gestures for you to sit next to him. “so do you attend f1 games a lot? i’ve been here for a while now and i’ve never seen you. i feel like i definitely would have noticed someone like you.”

“someone like me?”

“y’know, pretty.” he smiles bashfully. you resist the urge to giggle like a kid. that would obviously be very embarrassing.

“oh you think so?” you said, giggling. he nods, as you twirl a strand of hair around a finger. “but i’m actually here because i work for-“

“lewis hamilton?” he interrupts, as he sits up.

“how did you know?” you say before you turn around to see lewis headed your way. he gives damson a nod before turning to you.

“damson,” lewis grins. “are you monopolising my assistant?”

“oh no. we’re just chatting.”

“because she sadly has a lot of work to do.”

“i do?”

“she does?” george, who was eating a chicken salad in the corner chimes in. “since when does yn do work.”

“excuse me? i’ve always worked.” you raise an eyebrow. “been working since i was sixteen and i’ve been working for lewis since i was eighteen.”

“legally perhaps but i’ve never seen you work.” george gives you a pointed look and takes a bite of his dry salad. “you’re always in people’s business or watching netflix or playing with roscoe.”

“do you see the air? no, but it’s still there isn’t it?” you roll your eyes. “also playing with roscoe is actually part of my job dumbass-“

“speaking of things that are still there,” lewis interrupts you as you glare at george. “you still have to get roscoe’s snacks.”

“i bought three extra bags just yesterday?”

“well. he finished them.”

“oh for goodness sake,” you sigh as you get up. “you spoil that dog.”

“you just bought matching gold bracelets with him a week ago and expensed it on my card.”

“i’m sorry about this damson.” you say, ignoring lewis. “duty calls, i’ll see you later.”

“definitely.” he winks as you giggle.

((you realise that you didn’t even get a chance to use the pickup lines so you make george rank them out of 10. he gives them all a 0 and you try and bribe carmen to make him sleep on the couch. it’s unsuccessful but he pays for the two of you to have lunch together, so you count it as a win anyways.))

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 1,102,198 others.

yourusername: it finally happened. i built this shit… brick by brick!

tagged: damsonidris

view all 208,728 comments

user1: OMGGGGGG POWER COUPLE

user2: more roscoe posts.. we’re BACK!!

*liked by yourusername.*

user3: yn i love uuu

-> yourusername: i looveee uuu user3

-> user3: just fell to my knees in walmart.

user5: snowfall reference YASSS

user6: since when was yn and damson dating?

-> user7: better question is… do they need a third?

user8: so lewisyn is no more???

-> yourusername: that man is my boss x

georgerussell63: so this is the work u needed to do? hmm.

-> user9: MESSY ASS 😭

-> user10: what do u mean by that…. 🤨

-> user11: give us the tea or leave it on the playground mr russell.

lewishamilton: yn did u get my text message?

-> yourusername: yes and i sorted it out no worries 😋

-> user12: he’s jealous 😭

-> user13: ik he mad rn 😹😹

lilymhe: pretty girl 💋

-> yourusername: miss u lil :((

-> lilymhe: imy too babe it’s been years 😢

-> alex_albon: ur sitting right next to each other??

oscarpiastri: you look pretty.

-> yourusername: so i look ugly and grotesque normally?

-> oscarpiastri: you know what i mean.

-> oscarynnie: WE WON!!!!

damsonidris: lovely to meet you yn, i’ll see you on the paddock very soon :)

-> yourusername: looking forward to it 😁💕

— dream girl series taglist: @flowergirl1134 @laur20a23 @greantii @rafebun @sumlovesjude @papayadays

[signed-loni]

HELLO LOVELY PEOPLE. I was in class today, and yk, i just couldn’t help but be bored and thought to myself “hey, what about head canons for sal and brainiac!y/n?” Good idea if i do say so myself! I also thought about whether it should be todds sister, but i changed my mind since idk i just, idk. SOOOO HERES THATT and enjoy! :)

(Lets just appreciate this amazing work. Truly, props to the artist this is so, yes.) (@paint_soda on ig!)

How it happened HCs

Tbh, the school didn’t see this coming. A brainiac with a person like sal? No one saw it coming, not even Larry, and Larry knows everything about his best friend. From his measurements (not like that) to his least favorite kind of pasta

and you didn’t really see it coming either! You honestly just fell really hard one day because sal got one of the hardest questions you’ve come upon, right, before you

You gotta say, you’re a sucker for the smart ones

While you’ve never seen his face, you have seen him around school with his small group of friends

You have your little clique, but recently, they’ve been shit talking you.

Saying things about you, calling you names and starting rumors, things like slut and whore being tossed around since one of your friends ex boyfriend had a crush on you

Youre not the kind of stereotypical nerd. Oh no, you arent.

You are most definitely not

Sal fell for you, mostly because of YOUR brains to

He likes that in a person. Someone who’s pretty, and smart!? He’s on the floor.

General relationship HCs

You don’t know how to explain it, well you do, but you always say it in the same way

Sal is the best boyfriend ever.

Sal knows everything thing about you, and you know everything about him

He knows your least favorite way to solve a problem for goodness sake

He knows the way you play with your fingers when your focusing on finding the solution to a question

He knows how you sit when you’re uncomfortable

He knows everything

You know almost the same amount he knows about you, about him

You know how he hold onto his pigtails when he’s afraid, you know how insecure he is about his face

He’s glad he’s dating someone like you. Its not like he’s dumb or anything, but he knows you definitely helped Larry, and he knows that he helped you get out of your toxic friend group.

You don’t talk about it much, but he knows

He’s seen it

He’s seen them look at you and him holding hands in the hallways, he’s seen them whisper to each other while looking at you, laughing to themselves.

It makes him mad

You always tell him your a big girl and can handle it, but he knows it kills you to see your once friends, now hate you because of one silly thing

If having rizz was a crime, you would be arrested

Cause MAN can you make sal FLUSTERED

The compliments, the PDA, the PINKY HOLDING. Sal has stopped working once you hold his pinky for the first time

He doesn’t mind holding hands, but you know he prefers pinkies.

Its amazing how you don’t react when seeing his face to him. Larry didn’t react, but he barely got to see. You got to see for a full minute. And sal thought you hated him because of how much you didnt react

Which sounds silly, but to him, it wasnt

He thought you hated his face so much, you decided it was to horrid to even comment on

But all those thoughts were cleared when you kissed him

Kissed his lips

Kissed his scars

Kissed him

He knew right then and there, that you were the one for him. His and his only

[futbolfatale]

Our Omega

Pairing: Select Lionesses x reader

Tags: Omegaverse, Sight Kidnapping, Fast burn, Love at first Smell.

Summary: large packs are normal but you never expected to be in a pack with players from the England lionesses. I hate this but I needed to expel my demons.

WordCount: 2.6K

You weren't ever really interested in Fútbol well in the women yes but not so much in the logistics and rules. So one time when your new Alpha coworker Amber offered to bring you to an England lionesses game you were really just interested in seeing pretty girls. Which is how you are here is a sweaty crowded stadium watching England play France. The weather was almost as hot as the players, meaning you were sweating out your eyeballs. But it's worth it for the front row view you are getting. “ Do you think they are going to win?” Amber asks, leaning slightly into your space. You've only worked with her a couple of times and she definitely likes you more than you like her.

She seems to be confident in herself as if everyone owes her something. “They're going to win”.You don't move your eyes off of the pitch. The whole game she has been asking you technical questions you don't know the answer to. She doesn’t understand that just enjoying the view she has to know everything. It is more than a little frustrating.

You by some grace of god manage to zone out for the remainder of the match only nodding and humming as she talks beside you. Once the match is over the wind picks up rather drastically blowing from behind you and across the pitch meaning anyone standing close can smell the sweat on your skin.”You smell good “ Amber whispers her voice deeper than usual. You really should have told her you weren’t interested. “Thanks” you try to gather your bag and wrestle your coat back onto your body. You're so focused on getting everything together so you can get out of this crowded place that you don't notice someone jogging up to the barrier.

”Hey you” A alpha voice growls from below you. You whip around in surprise. Millie Bright is standing on the other side of the barrier pointing directly at you. You point to yourself with a curious look surely she couldn't mean you. “Yes you come here” she curls her finger and it is like some part of your omega brain is triggered as you shuffle to be right against the barrier.  “Smell me” You do a double take because there is no way in hell she is insinuating what you think she is. Mates can recognize each other by scent and she seems to think you are fated. Who are you to deny this beautiful woman's claims? So Of course you lean over the barrier smelling the junction of her neck and should deeply. She smells strongly of bergamot and vanilla; it's almost intoxicating. You pull back slightly dizzying from the overpowering smell. “I knew it was you. Did you come here with anyone.” Millie questions your head still spinning, you only point to Amber. “Who is that?” Her growl is only low enough you can hear it but it is still terrifying. “A coworker, I think she was trying to get me to go out with her.” You mumble leaning in for more of Millie's scent. “That's not happening “You yelp as you are pulled over the barrier. “Hey that's my date you can’t just go off stealing her”Amber shouts but Millie doesn't even offer her a glance back. 

Millie shifts you to rest comfortably on her back. You can’t seem to bring yourself to care about the full stadium of people around you watching or videoing you. “Who is that? '' You recognize Lucy bronze in her accent alone. Her voice is just as intoxicating as Millie's scent. “Smell her” Mllie prompts as Lucy circles around her to get a better look at you.you can't help the giggle that escapes you when she nuzzles her face into your neck. “I am jealous of Your nose mill Never would have smelled her from over here.”Lucy has appreciation clear in her voice. “‘I think I should go home” Your mind starts to clear and suddenly all of this is hitting you really hard. “baby you're going to be alright Mills And I will take great care of you and just wait till Leah Hears about you she will be ecstatic.”Lucy's hand rubs over your back as Millie's purr fills the air around you again pulling you back into a manipulatable state.

When you mind finally returns to you you are in the back of a car tucked into someones lap.”Hello love” Its leah fucking williamson holding tucked to her chest like her favorite teddy bear. “Love you need to calm down or I will start Purring” Leah runs her hand over your back in soft circles. “You are safe we are going to get you home and get you fed. How does that sound.” Leah asks, wiggling her eyebrows for added effect. ”I was thinking Ham sandwiches,” Leah offers with a smile on her face. Now that she says it you are hungry. “She doesn’t want a ham sandwich Lee” You peek up from Leah to see Mary Earps navigate the car through traffic. “She seemed to think a ham Sandwich sounded pretty good, didn't you love it?” She asks softly, nuzzling at you. “A ham sandwich is okay. Whatever is easy, I don't want to be a bother.” You smile at Mary in the rearview. “You're never a bother, love your omega . We will do anything we can to take care of you.” Mary's tone is softer than you've ever heard in any interview ever. “Thank you”

“You don’t have to thank us. Love , we want to take care of you and do nice things for you.'' Leah smiles, pulling you close into her.``Were Here” Mary sings songs pulling into a gravel driveway. “Is that her?” You hear someone call as Mary opens the door and walks around to help Leah out. Mary opens the door and reaches out for you”You can walk if you want but you might still be drowsy and the gravel is sharp if you fall.” Mary explains as you let her lift you out of the car. ”Hi Im Ella that's Less over there with the blonde hair. She is a little nervous” Ella laughs as Less sheepishly jogs to catch up with Mary. “Mary kicks the door open and slips her shoes off. “Less Tooney Why don't you two go get the bags from the car” Mary is more telling then asking and the girls complain but still surender and go back to the car.

“Georgia Go straighten up the nest please” Mary asks the girl resting on the sofa. “It's really her” Georgia’s voice. “You can Gawk over her later go get the nest sorted” Mary ushers her up stairs and sets you down in the spot Georgia vacated. “Stay Here Mills is in the kitchen. I want to make sure she is making you something other than a ham sandwich. “Mary says with a roll of her eyes. She clicks the tv on to a random channel and walks off leaving you alone and questioning everything going on around you. Surely this has to be some kind of weird dream. There is no way Some of the most famous football players in the world are mated to you.

“What are you so stressed about? I can Smell you from all the way across the house” Lucy Collapses into the sofa next to you. “It's just a little Sudden I go from no mates to I don't even know” You run hand through your sweaty hair. “Seven. you have Seven Mates.” Lucy sets her Head down in your lap and you can't help the wave of calmness that overtakes your body simply from having your Alpha This close. “Ten is so many” You groan slouching back into the arm of the sofa. “Ten makes for a healthy pack. You have your alpha prime, that's Mills. Then you Alphas Leah, Mary, and Me. Then Your Delta Rachel You have your betas. Ella Alessia and Georgia.Then you are a beautiful sweet image.`` ''You guys don't even know me” you run a hand through Lucy's impossible soft hair. “Not yet but The girls will remedy that at dinner always a million and one questions.” You can practically hear Luce's eye roll. 

“Dinner is ready” Marys sings songs from what you can assume is the kitchen. “We should get you some food before there isn't any left.” Lucy's stands and pulls you up behind her. You tail after her and she doesn't let go of your hands. The table is set and the room is empty save for Mary. “ Mills wanted to get changed, just sit and I'll get dinner dished out” Mary gestures to the table before retreating back into the kitchen. “Sit here” Lucy pushes you into a chair and pushes you flush with the table not leaving any room for argument. “I'm going to help Mary stay here” Luce presses a kiss to the top of your head before evicting the room. You're barely alone a second before Rachel comes barrelling into the room. “Ahh there you are. Those girls have been hiding you away from me” She slides in “Hey” It feels so surreal to be talking to these women as if they are everyday people and not super famous. “I'm Rachel but you probably knew that considering you were at our game” She has a slight teasing tone to her voice that you find yourself really enjoying. ”how do you feel? I know the girls can be a little too much when they are all together” Her voice has such genuine concern in it that your heart hurts. ”I feel A little overwhelmed. It's just so sudden one moment I am watching a football game and the next minute freaking millie bright is pulling me over the barricade and telling me I am her mate. I just don’t know how we move forward from this.” It feels nice to tell someone about the thoughts that have been racing around your head for the past couple of Hours. ”First we decide if you want to keep your job. Then if you want to move in with us which I think is best but you can do whatever you think is best for now. That's all the decisions that need to be made right now.” Rach sounds like she has done this a time or too before. “And Mating bonds' ' That was the real problem here. You wanted to mate them to have them inside of you with their teeth on your skin but how could you even know what they expect. “If you want to do it today we will or the girls will wait. They might not be ecstatic about it but they will get over it.” Rachels hand finds itself wrapped around the back of your chair, her hand resting on your shoulder. “I think I would like to at least start tonight. I might not want to go all the way through but I want to try. I want to be mated to you guys. All I have ever wanted was to have a pack of my own. ''You let out a shriek as the door bursts open and ella and less fall into a pile on the floor.

“Girls you know how rude it is to eavesdrop.”Rache looks mock aghast as the girls scramble to make themselves presentable. “Who has been eavesdropping” Millie comes in behind less and ella and they at least have the heart to look embarrassed.”  I was trying to have a healthy conversation about the emotions our omega was going through but these two decided to drop in.” Rachel Eplains as millie finds her spot at the head of the table.  “You two know better than to eavesdrop you're on dishes” Mille scolds her alpha voice coming through slightly due to her frustration. “But we were on dishes last night,” Ella complains, sinking into her seat. “And the night before” Less adds with a pout. “Sounds Like you two are in a whole lot of trouble” You can't help the words as they escape your mouth. “How dare you we are the sweetest nicest girls you could ever be graced with the presence of” Ella argues making direct eye contact with you as if daring you to challenge her claim. “You can’t be in here lying to our omega she doesn't know any better yet” Mary enters the room with a large glass pan full of lasagna cradled in her arms. Luce enters behind her a salad and dresses in her arms. “Where did Georgia and Leah run Off too.”Millie questions cutting into the lasagna. “I think they were making sure the nest is clean for her” Luce starts putting salad on people's plates. “I can get my own food Luce” You are trying to pull away your plate. “Do you see any of these girls making their plates?” Luce raises an eyebrow as you look down into your lap. “No” You mumble not bringing yourself to look her in the eyes. “Let Me make your plate for you” Luce prys the plate out of your hand and sets it back on the table in front of you after there is an adequate amount of food on it. Georgia and Leah come running into the room just as all of the plates are dished up. “Georgia, would you mind grabbing the pop?” Georgia rolls her eyes but hurries down the hall in search of the pop. 

Once dinner and all two hundred and one questions are done a bath is a welcome relaxation. Until you realize Georgia is intent on joining you in said bath. “ Just get in, I'll go you in a minute” Georgia leaves before you have the chance to say anything. Leaving you to strip and sink into the seamting bath all by yourself.You almost find yourself falling asleep as the comforting smells of the bath oils georgia used fill your nose. “I have snacks' ' Georgia hurries into the bathroom startling you out for your thoughts. “I have ice cream and pop” Georgia sets the ice cream and a red beverage that must be the pop down next to the bath before stripping off her clothes. “Lean forward so I can Get Behind ya” Georgia barley utters the words before you're moving to comply. She slips into the bath behind you and pulls you to her chest as soon as she is settled. “Here luv” Georgia presses the ice cream into your hands and sets about washing your hair. You would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. Plus that ice cream is good cherry Garcia is truly the way to a girl's heart. I mean who could deny such a sweet woman. 

By the time you're done with your bath all you want to do is curl up in your nest well. If they even have a nest I mean what pack wouldn’t have a nest. Georgia wraps you in a fluffy towel and carries you into a bedroom. There is a large circle bed built into the floor while their nest building skills could you word it was habitable at least for the night. “Here Baby” Alessia handed you a shirt and a soft pair of boxers. You change into them and crawl into the net, your body sinking into the plush material. Soon after you lay down the rest join and a blanket is tossed over you. You can't help yourself as you drift off to sleep surrounded by your soon to be mates.

[botanyshitposts]

Hey! I'm not a botanist, but I'm in circles where it's a bigger thing and I'm kind of curious about something.

So, from an outsider's perspective, the genus Garcinia has a lot of weird and messy classifications. For example, common species like G. intermedia and G. gardneriana are really similar to Garcinia brasiliensis, to the point that it's pretty controversial if they're actually separate species. The Garcinia species colloquially known as "achachairú" also appears to bear a lot of similarities to that trio (although much less than they share with each other), HOWEVER it's almost exclusively referred to (in cultivation and in studies) as G. humilis, a Carribean species with small oval-shaped leaves, despite actually having very long lanceolate leaves and being exclusively found in the Andean foothills of Bolivia. Also, multiple frequently cultivated species like Luc's garcinia and Russell's sweet garcinia haven't actually been described yet, despite for example the former having a decent amount of scientific interest and frequent genetic testing done on it.

All of these odd classification things and even more others have been pretty well known in my circles for the past 15 years-ish, but still nobody seems anywhere close to a conclusion for them. How long does it usually take for a genus to get organized when it has as many species as Garcinia does? And how do they do it? Do they go around testing every single species or only a few at a time? If a species is currently not named, do the same people usually describe them as part this endeavor, or just leave them for somebody else? I saw Plinia and Artocarpus recently got reshuffled a lot because of some prominent genetic studies on them, and several new species and even genera were added, but it just seems alien to me how stuff like that even ends up happening. There are so many plants out there!

Sorry if I'm asking the wrong person here, but I've been wondering about how this stuff will eventually be resolved for yeeeearrs

There are so many plants out there!

ok im kind of surprised i can offer a few possible answers to this question despite having never heard of this but i think i can. if the question is 'why aren't some plants actually described', this is the primary reason why.

when i was in plant anatomy class in college, the person teaching us was a plant anatomist who assigned us different plants from the greenhouse to dissect and describe in a paper for her, and she told us that we might find something that hadn't been described before, which was pretty shocking to me. what do you mean i could potentially find a new-to-science thing? has nobody in history looked at this plant that's just growing in the greenhouse upstairs??

what she said was that no, sometimes not. there are so many plants out there that it's difficult to do one exact in-depth description and published examination of each species, so what botanists end up doing is doing or finding one in-depth examination of one species in a specific group and assuming that all the others in the group are at least similar, if not the same. which is good because it saves time and works as a shorthand, especially if there's not much funding, but also sometimes it has the potential to overlook more nuanced differences that can go undiscovered for a long time. but that's just botanical species in the conventional sense, which i don't think is as straightforward in what you're describing.

another answer to this question that's more specific to the species you're talking about here is that plants are having sex. they have so so so soooo much sex. few things they enjoy more to be honest. and given that the most conventional (but not only) definition for different species is 'can't have sex with other species because it's too different from them', the lines get blurrier to deal with, and one thing botanists do when the lines between species get too blurry (because of all the sex) is to just assume that they're all part of some kind of hard-to-describe genetic soup with individual plants falling along gradients or spectrums of similarities or differences, and in this case you'll see botanists just name the most prominent species among them and call it the '[most common suspect] complex', which groups together all the ones that happen to be having sex with each other at the same time, just to make them easier to talk about. this typically doesn't mean that they're species-less, but more that they can be thought of as a group with a few distinct points where they can look very distinct, and those points are the species, if that makes sense; see the citrus sex graph at the end for an example.

i also see from a cursory google search that people seem to be planting and eating these in a more widespread way, and people are talking about them on forums and stuff. this is one of the cases in botany where things get tricky, because a person looking for traits in a fruit that's having tons of sex might not actually be looking for the same things botanists are looking for when describing a species-- it might seem easiest to just find which species or few species are the tastiest and grow those, but if it's a genetic soup then all you can really do is do it the old fashioned way and breed individual plants for the traits you want. which, who knows, could end up being a hybrid between all of them.

case in point: again i am not completely up to date with the lore here but i found a forum thread where people were debating which species to plant and the consensus was just to plant multiple species at once, which is fine but is also really funny given that it DOES facilitate even more sex, thus blurring the lines even further and-- if the posters decide to plant the resulting seeds from the fruits-- will create even MORE hybrid plants of no discernible concrete species in the plant soup. the hybrid of a hybrid of a hybrid of a hybrid or whatnot. when does one stop calling it a hybrid between two species and start calling it 'the tree in grandma's backyard that's the tastiest of the berries i've tried'? that is the question, truly, one humanity has had for millennia in the search for the tastiest berry, and at that point it might just be easier to call it a variety or cultivar, which are horticultural terms for just that-- a distinct 'kind' among the same species that taste good subjectively and can be reliably rebred and harvested, like all the apple varieties people debate about.

another reason is that plant phylogenies are hard and brain-twisting and plant taxonomists and systemisists are among our strongest warriors. it's not uncommon at all in botany to be researching something and to find out it's been reshuffled because of a new breakthrough on the case a bunch of people more qualified on the subject decided made more sense like a decades later. sometimes species themselves will even change names multiple times if it turns out that it was described earlier by someone else considering the new circumstances. if you're a really unlucky or just controversial plant all this can happen over and over again until, finally, the trees of math have been resolved in a way that makes sense. how long will it take? surely there is a concrete end to the madness? nah. lol

finally, if you're looking into studies on this, you should know that some phylogeny stuff is opinion-based or subjective, especially at first. what counts as a new group for one group of researchers might not count as one for another. so when you see stuff where people are inventing new categorizations or genuses or whatnot or merging multiple ones together spontaneously, it'll depend on how well supported their reasoning is and what the evidence seems to show, and the larger community of plant taxonomists will, overtime, decide what they want to do with that information-- which may include verifying it or refuting it with more evidence. what researchers are proposing when they split stuff off or merge it together is a new or updated model for thinking about existing information, and that model may be more or less useful than the existing one for the means of actually learning more about the plants.

anyway in short there are lots of reasons why this might not be sorted out and the more sex these plants have the longer it's gonna take. i'm strongly reminded of that one citrus sex graph (its this one) (screenshotted to see it on night mode):

[nmakii]

DOMESTIC LIFE WAS NEVER QUITE MY STYLE…

— married life with alastor back in 1925, louisiana

— is this ooc :(? ive been in a ooc rut ever since school ended i miss my pookies n like i cried so much that day 😔 BTW THIS IS THE FIC I HSED THE ALASTOR AI TEXTS :>

lord above! you have to be some kind of gem to secure a man such as alastor. to be that woman, it’s almost certain that you’re someone who understands alastor in ways no one else has.

he doesn’t tend to express his affections physically, but more than makes up for it through his sweet nothings and lavish gifts

he’s most definitely the type to spoil his wife, but only if you ask him for it yourself. he doesn’t want to buy things you have no use for

has a trust fund in his will set for you if, god forbid, he died before you. he doesnt want his love to worry about money, just let him take care of it.

unlike many households at the time, alastor would help with the chores. despite his full-time job, he’d sorta understand that taking care of a house is a full-time job in itself since he’d spent his childhood watching how hard his mother works so, he agrees to always split chores with you.

because of his work, and his popularity, his boss asks that he comes in early to host the morning segment of the show. because of this, it’s not often that you two share a morning together. but, he still remembers to kiss your pretty head good morning, occasionally adding a request for dinner

his mother is MORE than happy to welcome you into the family. she’s just glad that her son found someone that makes him happy.

honestly on the fence about kids. on one hand, it’d make his mother really happy, as well as how it’s expected at the time period. but, he isn’t too interested in physically showing his desires. and, he is quite busy as well with his job and the whole murdering thing. it’s only if you ask him explicitly that he’d decide to look into it, maybe adoption? :>

quite good at putting your insecurities at ease. sweet nothings for days on end can come out of his mouth and he’s still not done.

as you sob into alastor’s chest, his arms wrap around your body warmly as he plays with your hair. "whenever you’re ready to talk, my love.” he held you close, wiping your tears until you were ready to talk.

alastor listened silently as you told him of all your doubts; that you weren’t a good wife, the whispers of every woman in town, everything. “my love, i’ll love you no matter what. it’s the woman inside that i am in love with.” he says as he brushes the hair out of your face, gazing down at you lovingly. “i won’t lie, there are times when you are… feisty. but, it’s your passion and intelligence that always bring me back to you.”

your lips quiver as you try to quell your tears. “can… can you swear that? that you’ll love me no matter what..?” his gaze became gentle as he saw the genuine doubt in your expression. “you have my word, dear. no matter what happens, i’d never stop loving you. even if we fought everyday, i would still be a fool for you. because, well… i suppose the heart wants what the heart wants. and, it is you that my heart yearns for, love.” alastor assured you, his eyes falling as he spoke.

as the sweet nothings fell from his lips, your tears ceased, finding the warmth in his touch. “thank you, dear… you always know how to make me feel better, i love you so much…” you sighed, curling into his touch. “mmh, i love you as well, my pretty girl.” he grinned, kissing your forehead.

as stated above, alastor is not particularly attracted to your looks, but moreso your intelligence and your ability to see right through that charming facade of his. funnily enough, it started a healthy relationship for one of the most deranged men out there.

he’d also be quite attracted to you if you joined him one night. nothing’s more attractive than your beautiful wife in a pretty dress he bought for you all bloodied up with a knife in your hand.

he loves to show you off to the newspapers as his pretty doll, not only because you’re quite the eye candy, but to also make you confident in yourself

he’d still get jealous whenever he’d catch someone staring too long though. ironically enough, he thinks it’s adorable when you get jealous and pout your face. he’s your’s after all, body and soul! why fuss over something that’s not gonna happen?

arguments are quite rare since alastor doesn’t tend to do things that are argument worthy. one of the few reasons you tend to argue is when alastor heads to the club after work and comes home drunk and much later than he intended to. and, after all that, he still apologizes for coming home late, probably tries to come home early so he can cook dinner the next day as an apology :>

[springseasonie]

Auralism Pt. 3 | PJS (M)

Voice actor Jisung x fem reader

Part 1. Part 2. Part 4.

Summary: Your minimum wage job at a cafe brings you little to no joy. That was till an unexpected person walked through the door during your closing shift, making your day a lot more eventful.

Warnings: sexual content, dom Jisung, big dick Jisung, public sex, oral (fem and male receiving), face hitting/smacking (not enough to hurt the reader), fingering, cum eating, almost (actually) caught, face riding, face fucking, deep voice Jisung the whole time, hes very talkative

Word count: 6,3k

A/N: hey (laughs nervously) I haven't posted anything in almost a month ik it's criminal lmao. Life has been beating my ass. I hope you guys enjoy it I suffered writing this. Feedback is loved and appreciated 🤍🤍

He did it. He actually did it.

Jisung did a face reveal.

And God, was he one of the finest men you've ever seen. His big brown eyes, sharp nose, plump lips. If sex was a person it would probably be him. He looked better than anything you've ever imagined and deep down you're glad he was handsome because it couldn't break your fantasy. But now your fantasy could be ten times greater.

And unfortunately for you, it means you'll be all the more crazier. Masturbating to his voice is one thing, but you took a jump and masturbated to his face. Now you're at work, trying to clean the tables of the cafe as you attempted to push the events of the night prior to the back of your head. Very rarely are you embarrassed, but this was a new low. But was it really your fault that the center of all your orgasms just happened to be just as hot as his voice?

You're busy scrubbing the tables when you hear the bell on the door ring. It was the middle of closing and you just wanted to make it home to rest at a reasonable hour.

"I'm sorry sir, we're about to close in 10 minutes," you said, still wiping down tables.

"I'm sorry, you guys are the only people open right now and I really need some coffee."

Your heart dropped as soon as you heard his voice. Looking up slowly, you looked at him, standing there in front of you. "I-I…I.."

Jisung looked at you confused, brows furrowed not knowing what's wrong with either you or him. He watched as you gulped, going a bit wide eyed as you kept staring at him. "Are you okay?"

You were usually really good at masking your emotions from your many hours in this job, but this time couldn't be helped. If there was a list of the top ten embarrassing moments of your life, this would definitely be number one. You couldn't even respond to him, hands trembling on your sides slightly. But you had to pull it together, fake it till he left.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," you said, but he still looked at you worried. "We're going to close soon though."

"I know…but I really need coffee. Is an Americano okay," he asked, voice whining as he begged.

You gulped as his voice hit your ears, growing more and more aroused as you stood there listening. You couldn't help but stare at him in all his glory. He's tall, probably about 5'11 from where you were standing. He's wearing shorts and a hoodie, but he looks to be pretty muscular and in good shape. You watched as he pulled his wallet out the pocket of his hoodie, the way his fingers were wrapping around the object. You always thought he was just hyping himself up for the audios but fuck, his hands were big. Fingers were long too just like he said.

You didn't notice how long you were checking him out until you heard him clear his throat. Startled, your eyes search to look at anything but him. You really want to go home for the night, but making his coffee as an excuse to keep staring at him is a better idea.

"I don't know if you're tired or not but you keep staring at me," he said, giving you a warm chuckle.

You blinked, snapping out of the trance you were in and looked up at him. "Yeah sorry, I'm exhausted," you laughed, trying not to make the atmosphere stiff. "I’ll make you coffee. Just sit over here."

Jisung walked over to the stool, climbing on the chair as you went behind the counter. You began making his drink, not speaking a word as you worked. The lights in the cafe were dim, giving his features pretty lighting. The way the light hit his long lashes and pretty lips turned your legs to putty. You weren't even paying attention to what you were doing, spilling some of the ice on the ground.

Jisung looked up from his phone, brow raising as he watched you scramble to clean it up. Jisung noticed how jittery you were since he walked in and couldn't understand why. At first, he thought it was just because you were tired, but he saw you staring at him, sneaking gazes a little too much. He wondered what was on your mind, why exactly you kept looking at him. You were definitely his type from a looks standpoint too so maybe he should make the atmosphere less awkward.

Jisung cleared his throat as he looked at you across the counter, gaining your attention for a second. "So, are you from around here?"

You continued making his coffee, pouring 2 shots of espresso in the cup. "Yep, born and raised," you answered, trying to keep your composure. "What about you?"

"Just moved out here a couple of weeks ago," he answered, pushing his hair back.

You froze for a second, processing his words. He's been around you this whole time and you had no idea? Of course you would have no idea, you had no idea who he was up until the night prior. But the fact remained that you could have spoken to him at any time, completely unaware that he was the man making your day worth it every night.

"Really," you said, pouring the espresso over the ice. "Are you in school or anything?"

"Yeah, I'm in uni," he nodded. You watched as he licked his lips following his answer.

"What's your major?"

"Computer science."

You snickered to yourself. No one would ever guess he was a computer science major based off of his reddit content. He seemed like a completely different person offline, nothing like you imagined but you liked that. "So you live on campus or..?

"Oh no I have my own place that I rent out," he answered, shaking his bangs from his face. You were too focused on making his coffee to notice him eyeing your body from across the counter. If you did notice you'd probably melt or something, he's very careful with his looks.

"Really? This city is pretty expensive to live in, especially as a college student," you said. "Sugar?"

"Oh yeah, sure," he answered.

You nodded and added sugar before putting the cover on the plastic cup. You placed it in front of him, giving him a small smile. "It's on the house."

He looked at you surprised, but shook his head. "No, no. I'll pay, I'm holding you up anyway."

"Okay if you say so," you said and laughed softly. You started cleaning the coffee machines, throwing the grounds in the trash and throwing the dirty utensils used for the day into the sink. "So," you said trying to fill the silence, "do you do anything else besides school?"

"Oh yeah, I work," he said, sipping his coffee. But you knew that already. You knew his job, and you knew it very well.

"What's your job?"

Jisung glanced at you, who was looking at him intently. He didn't know what to say. Should he tell the truth or just give a vague lie? He wasn't exactly open about his job, but he took a leap of faith the night prior with his face reveal. People were bound to recognize him sooner or later.

"I do a bit of voice acting," he said, taking a sip right after.

"Really? Voice acting and computer science are really different things," you said leaning on the counter.

"Well, a lot of people told me I should try. They said I have a nice voice."

"They were right," you complimented. "It's really nice." You didn't realize how you said it, but your sudden tone change made Jisung quirk his brow. You were really trying to keep it together but the more he spoke, the more memories flooded in your head of every single time you laid in your bed cumming for hours to his voice. You felt your hands twitch looking at the man, his eyes never really leaving your leaning frame as you looked at him in silence, heart and head racing.

"Thank you." Jisung took another sip, but this time it was slow as he kept eye contact with you. The air grew thicker, you looking prettier than when he first walked in as he kept his eyes on you. "I never really asked you about yourself. What do you do besides this?"

"Go to school, write a bit, nothing special," you answered.

"Mhm.."

At this rate, you were probably going to slip up if he kept making noises like that. Sweat was collecting on your temple from your raging hormones – it was almost becoming too much to bear. All you think about it was him fucking you against the counter, hand wrapped around your throat as he whispered nasty things in your ears. He was so hot just sitting there drinking, you felt like a hormonal teenager. Your underwear was not surviving the night dry. You lifted yourself off the counter and went to the sink full of dishes, sticking your hands in the water to clean them.

"What do you write," he asked, typing on his phone.

"In school I do a lot of research reports, but I write lots of fiction in my own time," you answered.

Jisung hit the post button, placing his phone on the counter. However it didn't go unnoticed how yours buzzed at almost the exact same time. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe it was just a weird thing that happened at the moment, but maybe the thought in the back of his head was right the whole time. Maybe you did know who he was and that was why you were acting weird when he first walked in.

You picked up your phone, checking the notification to see it was a post by the very many sitting in front of you. You read it, reading something about him being bored so there was probably going to be a surprise later that night. Right as you glanced up at him from your phone, he was staring right at you, a smirk tugging in his lips.

"So you do know me," he chuckled softly.

"What? I don't know you." You were completely caught off guard by the sudden accusation. The whole time, you thought you were doing so well in masking it, but somehow he found you out.

Jisung took another sip of the cold drink, gulping as he chuckled at your panicked response. "It's okay, you don't have to be nervous." He licked his lips pausing before speaking. You were clearly uncomfortable with the exchange and he should probably stop, but he wanted to have fun with it. "You listen to my stuff often?"

"I…" You blinked, not sure if you wanted to answer his question. You were standing there in a room alone with him just like you always imagined. So many times in your head, you had scenarios of how you would meet him, but at your job wasn't one of them.

"What? Are you embarrassed," he laughed.

"I'm not embarrassed, this is just not the way i thought it'd go," you admitted, mumbling.

"Meeting me? That's cute, you thought about it," he said, resting his face on his palm. "I never asked you your name."

"Y/N," you answered.

"Well, Y/N, I'm glad that I have pretty people like you that listen."

There it was, his soft soothing bedroom voice that made you lose your mind. You were about to respond when he cut you off unexpectedly. "Do you touch yourself listening to them?"

If life were a TV show, there would be a room full of gasps with no one around. You couldn't even move, just keep squeezing your thighs together like you were doing for the past 5 minutes. You felt small with the way his eyes lingered on you, waiting for you to answer.

"You don't have to answer if you want to. I was just curious," he said, giving you a kind smile.

"I-I do."

He nodded, smirking to himself at your change in body language. Nothing turned him on more than knowing you listened to his voice and came from just that. Knowing he could give you pleasure without even looking at you, touching you, doing anything but speak to you was starting to make him hard. Of course he knew all these things happened regardless but having living proof in front of him made his mind reel.

"How often?" He tilted his head slightly, watching you lick your lips as you looked away from him, wiping your hands on your apron.

"Really often.."

"Like every night?"

"Something like that." You said you weren't embarrassed about it before, but somehow this situation is probably the worst thing that could have happened to you. You felt like you were caught doing something wrong, like he was interrogating you in a way. But you liked it, you enjoyed the feeling. It made every fiber in your body tingle, making you even more excited.

"That's cute," he spoke softly. "Do you have a favorite?"

You looked at him then at the time. It was now 20 minutes past 8 and everyone should've long been out, but you've been entertaining the man of your dreams for a while. You couldn't possibly just kick him out, not when he seems as into you as you are into him.

"A couple," you answered honestly. You were beginning to feel shy answering all his questions, telling him about how privately obsessed you were with him. But you had no idea that every answer you gave him was only making him harder and harder underneath his sweats. Jisung meant it when he says the thought of his fans touching themselves to his voice turns him on. He thought about it all the time, but now that there is a living breathing example of this, he feels like he had to drag this out.

"Let me guess your favorite one," he said. "Alone time, date with you, couldn't sleep, stress relief…"

Your breath hitched hearing the title of the audio you were listening to the night prior. Jisung gave you a dry chuckle, licking his lips as you stood there completely still. The sheer power he had over you was astounding and it sent his mind to crazy places. "You like that one don't you?"

You nodded, gulping at the way he stares at you.

"What's your favorite part?" Jisung's fingertip circles the rim of the cup slowly, questions burrowing into your brain.

"I'm…not answering that," you said quietly.

"Why not," he teased playfully. " Would you like it better if I repeated some things to jog your memory?" He stood up from the stool, making his way behind the counter slowly. You watched Jisung walk behind your counter as you backed away after every step he took. His long legs got to you quicker than you expected, making you lean against the counter as you tried to move away from his large frame. Jisung planted a firm hand next to you, moving your body closer to his as he caged you in.

Leaning down to your ear, the soft tickle of his breath made you shiver. You looked at him, side eyeing the man as you watched every move he made hyper aware of whatever he was doing or saying.

"Does my voice turn you on, hm? Does it make your pretty pussy wet?" Jisung laughed darkly watching the visceral reaction you had to his word. You gasped softly, knees almost going weak immediately as you whipped your head to him, making him raise a brow at you. "Was it that one, or maybe it's an even better line. What about "I know you want my big cock to stretch you good. If I had you I'd fuck you so good you wouldn't remember your name." "

Your mouth parted slightly going dry hearing the words he said in the mic hit your ears in real time. This was definitely a fantasy you played in your head over and over, a reoccurring wet dream that started feeling lucid. At this point you couldn't tell if it was real or fake, if he was actually standing in front of you or if you were genuinely crazy.

"So which one, hm? Or should I keep reciting more lines," he asked, smirk on his face as he scanned your expression.

"Those were fine," you responded breathlessly. At this point, his face was extra close to yours. You couldn't look him in the eyes, afraid you'd fall to your knees and beg him to touch you so you opted for his lips instead. But oh boy, was that a bad idea, because now you couldn't stop thinking about kissing him, his lips all over your body, how they would feel all over your core.

Jisung stares at you, emotions coming to a standstill as he feels his dick becoming fully hard in his pants. This could either go one of two ways: he fucks you on this counter or rubs one out at home. But it's not looking like the second option is happening anytime soon. Not when he happened to be in a situation where 2 of his fantasies could happen at once.

"Do you have any other favorites? I could repeat some more stuff," he said. Jisung licked his lips as he eyed you, watching you squirm slightly under him. "Or maybe we can reenact it."

"Yes," you answered almost too quickly. "I-I wanna reenact it."

Jisung placed his hand on your hip, pressing his fingertips into your side. Your mind went fuzzy, his hands on your body turning your aching core into a pool. You could cum just from his hand on your hip and it wasn't even touching your bare skin. "Tell me which one and I'll make it happen, beautiful."

"7 minutes in heaven," you answer quietly, looking down at your feet. You don't know why you felt so embarrassed telling him about that particular audio, but it was another one you listened to often also. It was one of the rare audios where he showed his rough side, the side that would linger in your head for days to come.

Without a word, he chuckled softly, taking your chin between his fingers and lifting your head. "You're a little pervert, you know that right? Get on the floor."

You kneeled down directly in front of him, pants getting wet from the pool of melted ice from earlier. It hadn't registered that you were doing this in an area where anyone could walk by, where cameras are pointed, but you were far too gone. You looked up at him, breathing heavily as he stared down with hungry eyes.

"Tell me what you liked about it."

"How demanding you were," you mumbled.

He gave you a dry chuckle, licking his lips as he stared down at you. "Suck my dick." You looked up at him, brows raised high as you remained still. Jisung looked at you mockingly, tilting his head when you didn't move. "You can't hear all of a sudden? Suck my dick."

Jisung didn't have to say a word before your hands flew to the waist of his sweats, untying the string. Your fingers made quick work of the knit, but your hands hesitated to go into his pants. You couldn't believe this was actually happening. You were going to fuck the man of your dreams.

"Don't hesitate," he said softly.

You gulped nervously, nodding as you pulled the waist of his sweats and boxers down enough to allow his fully hard cock to spring out. Jisung could tell how numb your brain was at this point, the way you took him in your hands, stroking him slowly. Your breath was shaky despite not doing a thing but kneeling. Jisung wonders if this is something you've dreamt about, something you hoped for. But he no longer has to wonder seeing how you close your eyes, licking and wrapping your mouth around his tip in pure bliss.

Your mouth wrapped around the head, sucking it softly as the small beads of precum hit your tongue. Naturally, you took your hand, wrapping it around his shaft stroking as you sucked him softly. You opened your eyes, lashes fluttering as you looked at the man above you. Jisung watched you intensely, eyes never leaving yours as you bobbed your head. His large hand took a hold of the back of your head, rubbing circles into your scalp as you kept going.

The lights were still on, all windows open on the dark street. Anyone who walked by could probably tell you were on your knees, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was finally being able to make the man in your audios cum like you always wanted. Soon, Jisung's hold on your head became rougher, guiding your mouth lower and lower, more and more. You moaned softly around him, looking up as your brows furrowed.

"Yeah, take it," he mumbled, moaning softly.

It was just like his audios, the soft dominant tone he took to the mic. It almost made your head spin.

"You like having that pretty mouth on my cock?" You moaned and nodded in response, earning a smirk from him. Jisung pulled himself out of your mouth giving you a chance to breathe as he forced you to look at him. "Use your words princess."

"Yes, yes I do."

"Good girl." Jisung parted your lips with his tip, your jaw gladly dropping for him. You stuck your tongue out, taking him while in your mouth and throat. Jisung rocks into your mouth slowly, savoring the way you feel around him. Jisung's moans and groans made you drunk right off his sounds, the only things you're able to focus on is his voice and his cock.

"Look at you," he groaned softly. "looking at me with those big pretty eyes, you're such a good girl Y/N."

He kept thrusting slowly, gradually speeding up making you furrow your brows. You held onto his pants, gripping the fabric as he fucked your throat, sucking him at the same time. Jisung closed his eyes, throwing his head back as his breathing increased just like in his audios.

Your throat tightened around him, saliva messy and all over your chin. His groans and moans were music to your ears, making you want to do more than just a blow job. Just then, you feel a smack on your cheek, not enough to hurt you, but just for the impact. You looked up at him, moaning as he grabbed your hair rougher.

"You liked that? You like it when I smack you," he asked condescendingly. You wished you could answer but your mouth is occupied at the moment. Another smack landed on your face followed by a dark chuckle from the man above you. "You've been dreaming of this haven't you Y/N. C'mon, answer. Oh wait…you can't with your mouth full of my cock can you?"

Jisung kept fucking your mouth at a steady pace, pulling out periodically to let you catch your breath. He was constantly edging himself, moans and grunts becoming louder every time he was close and closer to his orgasm. The scene of you below him was messy. Saliva falling from your mouth, lips swollen and puffy, face absolutely fucked out. He loved it.

"Fuck I can't take this anymore," he mumbled. Jisung pulled himself out of your mouth, giving you a second to catch your breath. "Stand up, I need to taste you."

Jisung took your hands, helping you stand. You instantly leaned on the counter as he dropped to his knees, untying your apron. You took the fabric off your body, dropping it on the counter as he undid your jeans. Jisung pulled them down with your underwear to your ankles.

"Fuck," he said breathlessly, looking at the wetness between your legs. "Fuck, I do this to you?"

You nod silently, a little too turned on to even form words. Jisung smacks the side of your leg, rubbing the spot with his thumb softly right after. "Speak, princess."

"Y-yes you do. All the time. Every night."

Jisung licks his lips, eyes flickering between your face and your soaked core. His breathing was ragged, gulping silently as he just stared at you. "Can I eat your pussy?"

"Fuck yes."

That's was all he needed to dive into your core making you spread your legs even wider for him. Jisung lapped up your juices like a dehydrated man, moaning and whimpering all over your sensitive clit. It wasn't until you looked down at him that you realized he was jerking himself off to eating you out. Jisung flicked his tongue against your clit, stimulating the swollen bud.

"Fuck, oh my god," you moaned softly, voice cracking from the surge of pleasure.

Jisung smiles against your cunt, eyes heavy as he watches you in lust. "You like that, pretty girl?"

"Yes, keep going.."

Jisung never broke eye contact with you, working on himself as he worked to make you cum. You began to rock your hips against his face, his sharp nose nudging your clit ever so slightly making your head spin.

Just at that second, you heard the front door open the sound of the bell ringing in the silent room. In a split second, your hand connects with Jisung's head, pushing him away from your aching cunt. You spun around, looking at the door to see your coworker, Chenle.

"H-hey, I thought you went home for the night," you said. You were speaking a bit louder unintentionally, trying to seem as normal as possible.

"Yeah, but I realized that I left something in the back so I had to come before someone locked up the shop," he said.

You nodded in understanding. You were starting to feel like you could pull it off until you felt Jisung lick a stripe on your cunt as you bent over on the counter. You sucked in a sharp breath, exhaling shakily as you covered your mouth. Thank goodness the counters were so high so Chenle couldn't see the way the younger man was working on your pussy.

"Um, Y/N, are you okay? You look kind of uncomfortable," he asked, looking at you confused.

Jisung moved on from your clit to your entrance, lapping up your arousal. You clenched your jaw feeling his fingers come into contact with your sensitive clit, rubbing the bud in circles.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a stomach ache that's all," you lie. Chenle looks at you, squinting at your unsure answer, but shrugs and walks away.

"You know what's good for stomach aches? Soup," he says.

"I'm pretty sure everyone knows that, Chenle." Jisung chuckles under his breath, lapping at your entrance as he pressed his fingers harder on your clit, making your knees go weak. Thankfully for you, your body was being held up by the counter. "Well hurry up, I want to lock up and go home soon."

"Oh, well I can help you ou-"

"No!" Chenle raised his brows, furrowing them at your sudden denial. "I-I just wanna close alone tonight. It wasn't very busy anyway. I-I can close alone." You couldn't really control the way you spoke at this point, not when Jisung was now rubbing your entrance with his soft fingers, placing soft kisses on your ass. Jisung slowly plunged his fingers inside of you, giving you the stretch you desperately needed.

"Are you sure you're okay," he asks, staring at your flustered expression.

"I'm fine, just a little pain. It's nothing I haven't dealt with before."

Chenle nods, feeling unsure about your answer, but too tired to probe any further. "Okay..if you say so. I'm gonna get my stuff and leave through the back," he said.

"That's fine, just make sure to lock the door on your way out."

You watched Chenle as he nodded and walked away into the back. Watching the door close, you immediately collapse onto the counter, body spent from trying to remain as normal as possible in front of your coworker. Jisung was in awe at how you began to move your hips against his fingers, the desperation in your movements and soft moans. Cunt so wet, your arousal began dripping down his hand. The sound of his fingers moving in and out of you filled the space, your soft whines filling his ears.

"J-jisung, oh fuck," you moaned softly. "I-it feels so good."

"I know baby, I know, but we don't want your friend catching us, do we," he mumbled.

"N-no. I'll keep quiet."

"That's my good girl."

Your attention was split between the man below you and the man on the other side of the wall, making sure he couldn't see you or hear you. But soon enough your focus was all on Jisung who pulled his fingers out your cunt. You whined at the loss of his hand, looking back wondering why he stopped. That's when your body was forced around, back now leaning on the counter like before. Jisung sunk his fingers back into you, fingering you with the same passion as before as he attached his plump lips to your clit.

"Oh my god," you whimpered in a broken moan. Your hand gradually made its way to his hair, cupping the back of his head as you began to move your hips on his hand and face. Jisung sucked you clit hard, flicking his tongue on the bud all while jerking himself under you.

"You're gonna cum for me baby," he mumbled under you.

"Y-yes, fuck, make me cum," you grunted softly.

His moans against your clit sent vibrations all over your body, almost sending you into overdrive. The pleased look on his face, eye contact, his whimpers were far more than you could imagine.

"A-ah, fuck.."

"C'mon baby cum," he mumbled, stroking himself faster. "Cum on my tongue. That's it pretty girl, ride my fucking face. Make me drown in this pussy."

The thought of Chenle being in the back completely disappeared from both of your minds, the both of you moaning and whimpering louder. Your whines and whimpers filled the room as you threw your head back. Jisung fingered you faster, curling his fingers inside of you.

"O-oh fuck, I'm cumming Jisung.." Your body shuddered as you took a hold of his hair, cumming on his fingers and tongue that was flicking your clit even faster through your orgasm.

"Keep cumming baby, don't stop. You're so pretty when you cum baby. Prettiest girl I've ever seen."

Jisung pulled his fingers out of your dripping cunt, cum covering every inch of them. He was so fucked out of his mind, he had to taste you. You watched him as he stuck his fingers in his mouth, tongue swirling all over to savor the taste of your cum. He sucked his fingers clean, eyes never leaving yours. But he couldn’t get enough of you. Jisung dived right back between your legs, making you whine as you leaned on the counter.

"Yeah, just like that. Fuck, that feels so good," you whimpered, throwing your head back in pleasure. Your hips moved on their own at this point, riding his face once again, grinding down on his tongue as his nose nudged your clit in the best possible way.

"This pussy loves me, doesn't it, hm," he mumbled, chuckling darkly, feeling your hand pull his hair harder.

"Mhm." You nodded fast, brows knitting feeling that familiar storm of butterflies. "Shit, I'm cumming again."

Jisung smiled between your legs feeling your legs shake again as you gushed all over his tongue. He lapped your cum up like a dog, thirsty for more of your taste. "Good girl. Good fucking girl."

"I-I want you to cum too," you tell him, making him chuckle. "Cum in my mouth, please." You and Jisung quickly switch positions, you now being faced with his rock hard cock. You spit on the tip, licking the flesh messily. Jisung watched you, face still wet from your cum as he moaned softly at the feeling of your mouth. You take him down your throat, gagging slightly as his tip hits the back. Jisung marveled in the way your watery eyes never left his, the way you remained a good girl just for him. Jisung's hand tangled in your hair, the tug hurting in the best way as he began fucking your mouth.

"Take it," he grunted through gritted teeth. "This is what you wanted isn't it? Only sluts want something like this."

Jisung fucked your throat more and more roughly as his orgasm began approaching. You felt his cock twitch in your mouth, moaning around him sending vibrations through his body. Jisung pulled himself out your mouth, watching you cough and catch your breath. He tugged his cock quickly, tilting your head up for his orgasm.

"You're so pretty for me on your knees. You take me so good, fitting my big cock in your mouth." He was rambling, brows furrowing as his moans and whimpers grew faster in speed and louder in volume. You opened your mouth, sticking your tongue out making Jisung lose it. He stroked himself fast, panting, getting louder and louder, faster and faster. Placing his tip on your tongue, he stroked himself faster, big brown eyes never leaving the scene below him.

"A-ah fuck, open wide for me, swallow it all." Jisung came, ropes of cum shooting all over your lips, tongue, face, everywhere. His shaky moans hit your eardrums in the best way possible, the visual of him still milking his hard cock making you wet all over again. The man watched you as you took a bit of his cum off your cheek, sucking your finger right after.

"That's the hottest thing I've ever seen," he mumbled between breaths. Jisung was spent, that being the most intense orgasm he had in a while, he was exhausted. You on the other hand couldn't have been happier. Yes, he did just fuck a fan and it's frowned upon, but you didn't care about any of that. You gave him a blowjob while he ate you out at your job. Life couldn't get any better than that.

Rising to your feet, Jisung took your waist in his arm fast. "Let's get you cleaned up. You must be tired," he said softly.

"I-I am." Jisung grabbed a couple of napkins and wet them before turning to you. He tilted your chin up softly, taking the wet paper to your skin. He wiped his cum off your face gently, making sure not to hurt you in the process.

"Fuck, I can't believe I just did that," he rumbled. "I can't believe you let me do that."

"I'd let you do anything." Jisung enjoyed the lust, fucked out look in your eyes. The way you batted your lashes, still just as pretty as you were before getting your face fucked.

He smiled, a raspy chuckle erupting from his chest. "We have to get out of here. I'm sure some people walking by have already seen us, not that I mind."

"I-I don't mind either, but I don't think anyone walked by or even saw us." You pulled your clothes back on, getting fully dressed in the open area behind the counter along with Jisung who was trying his sweats.

"So, about that coffee," he started. "Do I still have to pay?"

You laughed softly, biting your lip softly. "I completely forgot about that."

"I didn't expect you to remember," he laughed. "not when I just fucked every thought out of you. By the way,..." Jisung grabbed his phone off the counter behind you, not breaking his stare. "Give me your number."

"M-Me?"

"Yeah, who else," he laughed. You gave him your number, cheeks on fire as you typed. The man of your dreams not only fucked you, but now has your number.

"We should meet tomorrow. At my place," he suggested.

You nodded slowly, gulping as he took your waist in his large hands. You could feel yourself melting yet again, just wanting to sink to your knees and let him have his way with you. "w-why your place?"

He leaned into your ear, breath tickling your skin. "So I could give you some private audios. Ones where it's just you and me. How does that sound?"

You look up at him, nodding frantically as you feel the space between your legs flood with arousal once again. "G-good."

"I knew it would." Jisung took his phone, placing it in his pocket. "I would offer you a ride, but I don't have a car," he laughed softly.

"I-it's fine, I have to finish anyway. You go ahead," you said, shooing him away with your hand.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah," you nod. Jisung waves goodbye, walking out the door and into the darkness of the street without looking back. You didn't know you were holding your breath as he left, but you exhaled dramatically, internally screaming at the events that just took place. Never in your wildest dreams would you ever think you'd be in a room alone with the man who makes your audio porn, but things just happen.

You were far too exhausted after standing on your feet all day and having the best sex of your life to continue cleaning, so you decided to just leave and go home early. You were sure you were going to have to hear a mouthful from your manager the next day, it's nothing you haven't heard before.

Grabbing your phone, you shoved it in your pocket along with making sure all of your other belongings were with you before you left. You often didn't bring much with you to work, just anything that could fit in your pocket. Turning the lights off, you walked to the front of the store, locking the large glass door and closing it, finally finishing up for the day.

The only thing you didn't know was that Chenle was still in the back, and watched every bit of what happened through the security cameras.

[sleepinthrumyalarms]

— smoke some, drink some, pop one

pairing: vada cavell x fem!reader

warnings: smut, drug use, lesbian sex, cunnilingus, overstimulation, slight roughness, unnecessary euphoria references

summary: you smoke dope. vada admits she has never eaten a girl out before. a practical demonstration ensues

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this was written under the influence of a travis scott song. expect anything. enjoy

You stare at the clock hanging above the blackboard anxiously, kicking your leg under the desk. The last few minutes of the last period always seem to stretch miles into infinity, and your patience is barely as flexible. The voice of the teacher has long since become background noise, the talk of equations and trigonometry and the finals week and how unprepared you were for it the last thing on your mind.

You pick your phone up for the millionth time to look at the messages still hanging and marked as unseen on your screen, eyes focusing on Vada’s name followed by an emoji of a puppy and a black heart.

‘got us enough to roll one’

‘just one tho’

‘don’t wanna end up like last time’

You chuckle quietly – the sweet memories of you and Vada skinny dipping in a pond at night and then showing up half-naked at Nick’s door are definitely the ones you treasure most, even though you can barely piece them together.

You look out the window, lost in thought. Your teacher asks you a question – and then you're saved by the sound of the bell ringing across the building.

As soon as you hear it you’re up and all but bolting out the door, muttering a quick ‘bye’ to the teacher to maintain your good girl image that, to be honest, has been hanging by a thread ever since the day you started dating Vada.

Not that you really care about their opinion. You just don’t want the principal to call your mother again.

You speed walk through the corridor, try to remember which floor was Vada’s class on, before you’re stopped by a pair of hands wrapping around your waist.

“Hey there pretty girl.”

You squeal in surprise, turning around in your girlfriend’s arms. She’s grinning at you annoyingly, the little shit, but the small dimple on her right cheek makes it impossible to be mad at her.

“Fuck, Vada,” you huff, pinching her shoulder half-heartedly, “I’ve got a weak heart, remember?

She shrugs, leans in to kiss your pout away.

“Sorry. I got out early. Wanted to wait for you since apparently someone's not interested in answering any of my texts anymore.”

You kiss her back, smiling apologetically, “I was too excited to see you, I guess.”

The brunette hums, lacing her fingers with yours, “Where to then?”

You think about inviting her over to your place – it’s closer to school, and your mom is working till late evening, but the rationality clicks quicker. Your mom also happens to work as the district attorney of the town – you’re pretty damn sure she knows what pot smells like, and would be able to smell it hours after you and Vada have fucked beyond the common sense of ventilating the house.

So you do the next best thing, one that won’t get either of you in trouble – you hotbox in your girlfriend’s car. You realize it might soon become the best thing, because it hits so much better.

Vada gets greedy with the joint a few times – you have to remind her it’s puff puff pass, not puff puff kiss your girlfriend so she lets her guard down then puff again.

In a few minutes you’re in her lap and making out with her like it’s your last day on Earth, the two of you giggling into each other’s mouths when you accidentally press the horn with your butt a few times, the honking sound mixing with your laughter.

You can barely make Vada’s face out by the time the last of the joint fizzles out and starts to burn your fingertips, the smoke filling the car up to the brim, but her eyes stand out amidst the choking whiteness, her pupils almost heart-shaped as she watches you with a dopey grin.

When you open the door the smoke drifts up the sky in big clouds, and breathing clear oxygen almost feels weird.

You’re still giggling slightly as Vada fumbles with her pockets to find her keys, your soft lips pressing to the side of her neck in sweet pecks making the process of finding them unnecessarily hard.

She shushes you when you finally step inside, listening for any sounds, before closing the door behind you. As soon as you realize you’re alone in the house, you press your lips against Vada’s impatiently.

“Don’t forget– your shoes,” Vada manages between the kisses, shivering as you slide your hands under her oversized shirt, “I’m serious, you horndog. Mom hates it when the floors are dirty.”

You groan into her lips, pulling away to untie your Jordans, shaking on your unstable legs slightly, and make your way up the stairs into her room. Vada opens the window to let the fresh spring air sweep through the room, hoping it’ll be enough to help the smell of weed wear off your clothes and hair.

“Wanna watch a show?” She asks, gesturing to her laptop as you sit on her bed, crossing your legs.

“Mhm. You’re thinking Euphoria, aren’t you?” You snort, watching as your girlfriend slides next to you, “Because I think we’re pretty much in one.”

“So, like,” Vada trails off, her hands coming to rest on your hips in what she thinks is a subtle movement, “Would that make me Rue, then?”

She plays with a string on your pants, feeling almost embarassed about the corny things she's saying.

“And you – Jules?”

You hum, tilting your head with a coy grin, try and mull her innuendo over in your baked out mind. The comparison does seem familiar – especially with Vada’s puppy love towards you.

“Well, I liked their duo in the first season but... weren’t they, like... extremely toxic later on?”

Vada finally pulls in you to sit on her lap, your thighs bracketing hers, and it’s such close proximity you can count all the pretty freckles scattered across her face. You’d probably get lost at fifty, way too high for mathematics of any kind, even if it’s this romantic.

“You’re right. Fuck Euphoria,” she whispers, her gaze sliding to your lips, and you don’t waste any more time to press your lips to hers.

Kissing Vada has always been something to look forward to – warm and pleasant, makes your stomach flip when she’d bite your bottom lip and lick at your teeth. Kissing Vada whilst being slightly high is an out of this world feeling. Her nose presses into your cheek, and your palms slide to the back of her neck, fingers twirling her silky brown tresses idly.

You pull away for air, and it gets stuck in your throat as the brunette presses a kiss behind your ear, trailing the butterfly smooches down to your pulse point. Her hands are kept busy under your shirt, fingertips tracing up your stomach to your ribs.

“How many times have you ever been eaten out?”

A sudden but... not at all unwelcome question. You lean back on your hands, humming when her plush lips rest against your collarbone, and purse your lips in thought.

“Mm... once or twice. I don’t really keep any notches on my belt, y’know?”

Her hands tighten around your hips, and you chuckle.

“Drinking vinegar, are you now? Don’t worry. You have an opportunity to top them all.”

Vada averts her gaze suddenly. You frown, lean in to cup her face gently.

“What’s wrong?”

The brunette rubs her thumbs over your clothed thighs, then looks back up at you, a small frown on her face.

“I’ve never done this before.”

“You’ve never... fucked anyone?” You're sure that's a lie – she's fucked you before.

“I’ve never given a girl head.”

You hum, reaching to hold her slightly shaky hands, slowly inching them closer to the waistband of your sweatpants, “I can teach you,” you suggest, biting your lip, “Show you what I like. That cool?”

Vada looks almost mesmerized. She nods, her gaze fixed on your pants, and you giggle as she tugs them down your legs, prompting you to slide off her lap to let her do so, the cool outside breeze hitting your warm skin and rising goosebumps in its wake.

“I listened to a podcast the other day,” she begins, “About cunnilingus. The host said the best advice she’s ever gotten was to google wielding techniques.”

You raise your eyebrows in confusion, “Huh?”

Vada reaches for her phone on the bedside table, quickly unlocking it and typing something in the search bar. She selects a random picture and shows you the screen.

There are indeed blueprints of what looks like wielding seams, going from bottom to the top. The arrows are forming different patterns – there are zig-zags, crescents, a circular seam and a ‘figure 8’ seam...

For all the ridiculousness, they do seem... practical.

You smile and grab the phone, turning it off and tossing it somewhere back on the bed.

Of course she would do that – research stuff. It’s so fucking endearing it prompts you to wrap your hands around her neck and press a kiss to her cheek.

“Why not stick to the usual alphabet thing, hm?” You offer, “I can tell which letter I’d love the most.”

You lean in to whisper into her ear huskily, “It’s ‘V’.”

Vada shudders, making you smile. Then her hands grasp at your hips, tugging you closer, and your breath hitches at her sudden assertiveness.

The brunette bends her knees so that she’s level with your center and parts your legs slowly. You curse under your breath – you’re pretty much drenched right through your panties, and if Vada was just slightly more sober, she’d probably tease you about it, too. You’re glad she isn’t.

She leans in closer instead, tongue lolling out and pressing against your clothed cunt, licking a stripe up the smeared wetness there. Her fingers slip under the waistband of your underwear, and you tilt your hips up a bit to help her take it off, the movement causing your heat to press further into her mouth, making you whine.

Your panties are off, and so is Vada’s tongue.

She stares long enough for you to feel a bit conscious about yourself, and you move to close your legs on instinct, but her hands keep them apart. She hooks your ankles over her shoulders, shoots you a warning look. Her dark gaze makes you clench around nothing. The shyness and uncertainty is gone like it wasn’t even there.

You’re not sure if it’s weed, or if you’re being tricked, but this version of Vada is... new. Extremely hot, too.

She lowers herself so that she’s inches away from your pussy, her warm breath fanning your swollen clit – you're so strung up that you’re starting to feel a second heartbeat in between your legs. Vada looks up at you again, making sure you’re watching her as she flattens her tongue along your slit, collecting all the warm slick that leaked out from the moment she had you on her lap. She lets out a satisfied groan, and you sigh, hips buckling to meet her.

Despite all your confidence, you feel yourself crumble at the first touch of your girlfriend’s mouth on you – you’ve always preferred this over any kind of penetration, and Vada’s eagerness to please you doesn’t help.

She withdraws for a moment, and you find yourself missing her immediately.

“Is this okay?” She asks, palms caressing your thighs to soothe you.

“Don’t make me beg.” You breathe with a chuckle.

She laps at your folds, groaning at the saccharine warmth of your arousal coating her tongue – then leans back again, and you’re almost whining before she reaches her thumb to rub at your swollen clit, her breathing heavy as she watches you gush around nothing.

“Baby.” You whine pathetically, your knees coming together to try and push her face into you.

Vada doesn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest, her digit circling your sensitive spot, never taking her eyes away, “Hm?”

“Please,” you murmur, voice stifled by the hot arousal burning in your veins, “Want your mouth, baby. Want to cum on your tongue, please.”

The brunette digs her fingers into the soft flesh of your hips before wrapping her plump lips around your clit, gently sucking, and your thighs tighten around her head at the sudden overwhelmingly good feeling coursing through your body. You almost can’t believe how good it feels – how good Vada is, almost naturally talented at making your toes curl as she mouths at your dripping pussy, keeping a burning grip on your quivering legs. The immense amount of pleasure is so sudden you’re practically sobbing her name, your stomach tensing and hips bucking with each calculated flick of the girl’s tongue. The sheets under you are considerably darker than the rest, a pool of your cum along with the brunette’s spit dampening the area.

You’ve heard that drugs can expand your consciousness, but to such a degree that has you seeing stars as Vada eats you out like it’s her second nature...

Her tongue slips between your walls suddenly, causing you to arch your back into the air, hips rolling into her face. Her tongue continues to lap confidently, going in circles around your entrance. A shaky sigh leaves your lungs, and you have to clench your eyes shut.

“Vada, oh my god,” you breathe shakily, your voice tight and high, feeling you stomach coil, “I'm gonna cum– Fuck, fuck, Vada."

Her lips find your clit again, and that’s what sends you over the edge, your thighs clasping around her head so tight she swears her ears start to ring.

You shiver as the brunette drinks you up hungrily, your legs easing their hold on her, chest heaving with shuddering gasps.

“Oh, Vada. Fuck,” you mutter, resting your forearm over your eyes as you try to calm your speeding heart, “That was so... so good, baby. I think you lied to me. Either that, or you’re... a natural.” You chuckle breathlessly, raising a shaky hand to swipe some stray hairs from your forehead.

Your legs move to unhook themselves from the girl’s shoulders, taking pity on her most likely strained muscles, but Vada’s grip turns bruising on your legs. You’re pushed back further into the pillows suddenly, and before you can let out a single peep in alarm, she’s on you again.

Her hands reach to grasp under your knees, bending your legs up, your pussy spread open for her. She doesn’t relent — her hands hold your thighs as she all but buries her face in your heat, the movements of her tongue harsh. Fast. Merciless.

The sudden aggressiveness makes you let out a broken moan, your hands darting to tread through Vada’s hair, wanting her closer but away at the same time, the painful pleasure too much for your scrambled mush of a brain to handle.

“Oh my god, Vada!”

She leans away for a moment to trace two separate stripes from your entrance up to your clit with the tip of her tongue, and you whine, your foggy mind realizing that she has actually just done the letter thing, before she’s back on you like a hungry beast, jaw hanging open to wrap her mouth around your seizing cunt with an obscene slurping sound.

Your back arches as you cum harder than before, throwing your head back against bed and squeezing your eyes shut, your girlfriend’s name tumbling out of your mouth in an almost pornographic moan. You whine as Vada laps at your center with purpose, licking you clean, before pulling away mercifully.

There’s a cocky wolfish grin on the brunette’s face as she watches you open your eyes slowly, trying to compose yourself.

“How was that for a notch on your belt, hm?”

Shit. If you didn’t just experience the most intense orgasm in your life, you’d scoff at the smugness of her tone.

“I’m gonna be honest... I wasn’t sure I’d be into... that,” you say shakily, “But I guess I am now. Jesus Christ, Vada.”

“Just Vada is fine.” She gently caresses your hips, leans down to kiss your jaw lovingly, “Now...”

Her fingers lift the hem of your shirt up to your chest, blunt nails grazing the flesh under your breasts – she watches them rise and fall with your unsteady breaths.

“How about I salt the earth behind me so that no one ever stands a chance of owning you the way I do?”

[murdrdocs]

back home thinking about neighbor miguel o'hara ... tw age gap + miguel calls reader "kid" once + dads best friend miguel

you come home to visit your parents one day, a basket filled with multiple loads of laundry of your most valuable clothing items, ones you didn't trust the dorm machines to take good care of.

your parents are gone, and you're having a little trouble with opening the door and balancing your bags. just when you're about to drop the basket, and your laundry is about to become even dirtier, hands take the basket away from you and your senses are overloaded with heavy breathing and the smell of musky sweat.

you look up, then up some more, and you're met with dark eyes, wavy hair that hangs over thick eyebrows, prominent cheekbones, and a really pretty smile. but as attractive as he is, he's definitely a stranger, and your keys are almost sandwiched between your fingers before you see your father's face pop up over his shoulder.

he says your name happily, a wide smile on his face. the stranger steps out of the way so your dad can hug you, but you can't help but attempt to peek over his shoulder to see this handsome stranger again.

loads of excited rambling and questions from your dad later, he's finally introducing you to the man now making a green juice in your kitchen.

"this is miguel. my running buddy? fitness trainer? and our new neighbor!" and your parents new neighbor is incredibly hot.

during your short stays, you see him running, doing lawn work, talking to the mailman every so often. mundane things that should not be as attractive as they are.

and when you come home for the summer, you've never been happier for how social your parents are because there's cook out after cook out and you're always forced to attend, putting up a front that you'd rather be home but you knew that your dad would force his new best friend to show up too, which would let you ogle him.

and ogling eventually turns into small talk, which turns into lingering glances, which turns into receiving lingering glances, which turns into small hugs, into longer hugs, into laughing at dumb jokes, and eventually, into sneaking kisses behind corners.

your parents are hosting the next cook out, an excuse for your father to use his new grill that he'd spent entirely too much money on. there's only two weeks left before you go back to school, and you need something to happen before you go.

which is why whenever you and miguel are the only people inside of your home, you put your glass of lemonade down and grab his forearm, leading him to upstairs where you pull him into the bathroom before he can say anything.

standing with your back against the door, you look up at him, eyes wide, small smile on your lips.

"what're we doing in here?" he asks you, voice low and rough but not completely uninterested.

"we're getting some alone time, miguel."

his eyebrows lift. "alone time? for what?"

you stare at him, deadpan, head tilting. miguel, clearly trying to play off his feelings, laughs, dark eyes looking around before they look back down at you.

"that's funny, kid, now get away from the door."

and the opening is right there. so, of course, you're gonna take it.

"make me."

it could've gone so wrong. miguel could've lifted you over his shoulder and put you down on the other side of him, leaving an open space for him to escape and ignore you for the rest of the time you would be home. but instead, he takes the bait and pushes his lips against yours, kissing you harshly as his hands run down your chest to bunch up the skirt of your dress.

when his fingers slide down against the crotch of your panties, your moan is muffled by miguel's lips, but he has to pull away for air and he's kissing your neck instead and it's much harder to hide your moans when his fingers slip between the elastic of your panties and he starts sliding them through your folds, gathering your slick enough to comfortably begin to slowly plunge one finger into your walls.

the stretch is different from your own fingers, one of his almost equivalent to one and a half of yours. your bottom lip is attacked by your teeth, your hips grind into his hand, your nails scratch at his scalp.

it's so good. even better when two fingers are steadily pumping into you, and he's speaking lowly to you, voice right beside your ears.

"there you go, just like that. such a good, dirty, little slut for me. wanting your dads best friend to fuck you in your own house? would've never expected that from you when we first met. shit, probably wanted me to fuck you right then too, huh? pretty little head thinking about nothing but me bending you over that counter. could sense it with the way you were watching me make that juice."

anyone could hear. anyone of these slightly drunk guests who were entirely too comfortably in your home could come wandering upstairs for the bathroom, the downstairs one probably occupied consistently, and they would hear how miguel o'hara was fucking you on his fingers and talking to you.

your moans were incredibly conspicuous, they were incredibly revealing, not only of your scandalous actions, but of how amazing you felt in the moment.

they were letting miguel know just how close you were, becoming more erratic and high pitched with the longer he continued.

his free hand that was previously pushed into the wood of the door yanked your panties the rest of the way down, letting the material fall to the floor.

"touch yourself for me, amor. play with that pretty little clit of yours." and you do what he says, instantly setting a pace sure to push you over the edge. which, it does in just a few moments.

miguel kisses at your jaw and cheeks as you come down, fingers slowly pumping until they slow to a stop and he pulls them out, sticking them into the wet heat of his mouth instead.

when they're pulled out, clean of your juices but dirtied with his saliva, he asks you: "when do you leave for school again?"

[bbjobo]

Hello hi it’s me, your resident entertainment PR enthusiast. I simply need to talk about the sequel announcement. This is all speculation, but I work in entertainment-adjacent communications and once convinced a household name celebrity to stay at my event to do select press interviews when his wife was going to go into labor at literally any minute, so I like to think I've got a pretty good sense of all of this.

So buckle in, because I'm about how actually fantastic this rollout was, because I’d wager they’ve been planning this since the premiere. 

RWRB came out truly smack-dab in the middle of the actors' strike. We all know just how much press we must have missed out on, because the strike started before promo would have kicked off in earnest. And when it was finally over in November, the actors are potentially out of contract for promotion, and that’s not even taking into consideration that the holidays are coming up and the six weeks from American Thanksgiving to New Year’s is truly a black hole of press. So this little movie has to rely almost entirely on fan reaction and word of mouth to hit because they’re so limited in what they can do for promo. And it IS a hit! Records are broken! Comments for an extended version (which, ok Matthew we get it, does not exist) and a sequel start almost immediately.

The marketing team makes the most of what they’ve got: they’re keeping up the official character accounts, they’re dropping deleted scenes and BTS. We get cornettos! The fireside scene! Bloopers! Notably absent? Brownstone Thanksgiving. We’ve seen BTS photos of it, we know it exists. Thanksgiving 2023 would have been a great time to drop it, but they don’t. This is the approximate point at which my own personal sequel speculation began. After the strike ends, the posting pace slows considerably but it’s still consistent. It’s just enough to keep it in your mind but not enough to be like “why are you still posting this much about it?” And this continues into 2024.

On the contracting side, conversations were likely actively happening at this point. I wouldn’t be surprised if negotiations picked up literally as soon as the strike ended. The producers would have had that time to get Matthew and Casey back on board and be fully prepped and ready to move on to contracting actors the minute they could. It’d be a shot in the dark to try to guess when these were finalized, but at some point between November 9 and May 9, yeah, they’re in.

But whew, Nicholas is booked and BUSY. Mary & George drops internationally March 5, The Idea of You closes SXSW on March 17, two weeks later M&G starts airing in the US and Canada, and a month after that, TIOY is available for streaming (and limited theatrical release, which is another whole post), and in between all those premieres, he’s everywhere. He’s criss-crossing the country (and tbh the Atlantic Ocean) for all of these appearances, truly going non-stop. The pacing of the premieres makes it nearly impossible to squeeze in another project announcement, and if they had, it would have been a bigger part of every interview he did after, which is something his own team would be working to balance. Plus between TIOY and RWRB, Prime would have been pitching stories against themselves. Better to let him finish out his other promotional appearances and then switch over.

At the same time, we’ve got awards and red carpet season starting. At nearly every red carpet appearance not for their own projects, both Taylor and Nick are asked about a sequel. If an interviewer is given enough time, they ask about a sequel. Sure, fans comment about a sequel on every vaguely rwrb social post from an official account, but the press asking about a sequel felt like a lot to me. Everyone always gave the same vague answer, that they’d be up for it if the story is right, that they don’t know but would be happy to. (Except one time, Nick does slip up and give an answer that feels a little more definitive here where he says “conversations are being had” all the way back in late February/early March). Press are asking the question so consistently that it felt like if it wasn’t happening, PR teams would have put the sequel on the do not ask list.

Then Prime starts actually ramping up on a FYC campaign for the movie. I'm gonna be honest, I was so surprised. It's a rom com, the odds of a rom com getting any sort of awards recognition is so slim, but I thought, "ok, sure, use FYC as a way to get the promo boost they need for an announcement of whatever's coming next." And then I looked up and Variety has picked it as the winner in the best television movie category, which is blowing my mind. The other categories they're submitting in are stacked and I think a nomination beyond television movie will be a long shot, but again, it's big for it to even be considered. And if they're being talked about, that means Prime's gotta put out a great showing for their FYC campaign.

Which brings us to this week. We start off on Monday with Nick at the Met Gala referring to Uma as his mother-in-law. Incredible. Love it. Wednesday and Thursday are a one-two punch of a FYC event and fan event, and the gang’s all here. At the FYC, we get the industry side of things: new portraits and interviews with Deadline, process talk, etc. Because this little rom com is actually doing pretty well and beating the odds? Knowing what we know now, the PR teams spent this week pre-briefing the press on the sequel announcement. Notable (at least to my knowledge) the sequel question doesn't get asked at the FYC event. Because the press already knows it's coming.

Now, on to yesterday. They do a fan screening and Q&A, and they literally roll out the red carpet. Nine months after the premiere and exactly six months after the strike ended, they get the gang back together with fans of the movie, who they relied on so heavily during the strike to help make the movie a success. The tagline on the screen’s giant promo image has been updated to specifically thank fans for “making history with us.” The moderator for the Q&A is the same person who interviewed Taylor and Nick at the beginning of FYC campaign season, their first joint interview since GQ (right? pretty sure. it's all a blur tbh). And at the end of the Q&A, minutes before 12 AM ET, when the embargo on the press release would have lifted, they make the announcement not to press, but to the fans. The fans who loved the book, who watched it over and over, who spread the word about the movie to help make it one of Prime’s top three rom coms OF ALL TIME.

It’s just… an absolute masterclass in how to execute a major announcement that embraces the fans in a time where fandom and interaction between creators and fans can be an absolute minefield. Prime saw the opportunity to lean into the fannishness of it all and they took it and it was a slam dunk.

So where do we go from here? IDK but here’s some unconnected thoughts in list form like Alex would want.

The book’s 5th anniversary is next Wednesday, the 14th.

Casey’s been posting about working on [redacted] for months at this point, which is almost certainly the screenplay

Nick mentioned needing to be back in the UK for filming soon

They would probably like to release this in US election off-cycle years, so that means 2025 or 2027 (and 2027 is too far away). 2026 would be less bad since it’s a midterm election, but still.

Filming could reasonably start sooner rather than later, and even without an unfinished script

I guess we’re back on content watch for blond hair and BTS pictures

[ham1lton]

PARTY IN THE U.S.A!

pairings: charles leclerc x actress!reader.

faceclaim: rachel mcadams.

summary: before the miami grand prix, o/s posts you and charles goes on a journey to find you. too bad that time has plans of its own.

author’s note: the request said you wanted to have reader be introduced to charles through another driver’s gf but because i’m egotistical, i chose to link this to the nepo sister universe. so they meet through o/s. also i changed it up slightly! this can be read independently of the nsu but it’ll be more enjoyable if you read the other works.

wanna get tagged in any future works? sign up for my taglist! <3

liked by zendaya, charles_leclerc and 1,827,627 others.

oldersister: our new film ‘material girl’ is now out! enjoy my cameo in my best friend’s film! so proud of her and the most incredible team who worked with us to create this incredible film. thank you for allowing me to be a part of this 💕

neposisreader: a smile might be good.

-> oldersister: nothing to smile about in my life.

-> neposisreader: i already apologised for bringing lando to dinner without a warning!

user3: running to the cinema to watch this!

user1: so jealous of her life icl.

user4: no cause i had no clue o/s and y/n are childhood besties?! this changes everything.

user5: the two pretty best friends everyone has been looking for.

landonorris: whooo look at my sister in law 🥳

-> oldersister: blocking you immediately actually.

-> landonorris: WAIT !! 😩😭

user6: what’s charles doing here in the likes 🤨

-> user7: he’s friends with o/s. that’s probably all there is to it.

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liked by oldersister, neposisreader and 2,383,733 others.

yourusername: i had the best time working with the most magnificent group of people on this movie. ‘material girl’ is currently out! i had the opportunity to work with the best and make something truly unforgettable. keep an eye out for my bestie’s cameo! also my niece came to come visit me on set. my favourite gift <3

neposisreader: mrs fluffkins is evil.

-> yourusername: she’s an angel!

-> oldersister: exactly! thank you!!

-> yourusername: you know i got you bestie 😘

user1: you look so good in this shade of blonde!

user2: brb running to get my regina george halloween costume.

user3: charles liking y/n related posts? hmmm 🤨 you not slick baby.

*liked by landonorris.*

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liked by charles_leclerc, ynshoney and 234,672 others

ynswife: our girl y/n dropped to the jimmy fallon show to spill all the gossip about her newest film, her love of miami and her best friend oldersister.

user1: i love her tan and this hair on her!

-> user2: she’s always so happy and bubbly after spending time with o/s. that’s truly her girl.

user3: i watched material girl with my best friends and i almost cried at the end when regina had her big speech. i love y/n’s acting sm.

-> user4: she’s going to be in the david fincher adaptation of gone girl! so excited for her! she’s gonna kill it!

user8: did you guys notice how she stayed silent when the topic of her love life came up? she’s always so quick to mention she’s single….

-> user9: when she comes out as dating o/s >>>>

-> user17: when the doctors come back with your tests and legally diagnose you with delusional tendencies >>>

-> user12: what if she’s dating charles?? he’s been interacting with a lot of her accounts recently…

-> user7: i’m gonna put my hand on yours when i say this okay? that’s not happening beloved.

liked by oldersister, neposisreader and 1,627,892 others.

yourusername: miami i lovee youu 😘

oldersister: when did you take that pic of us?

-> yourusername: the lady behind us took it! she sent it to me through airdrop <3 you looked so cute i had to post it.

-> user1: they’re 100% dating.

-> user2: nah they’re definitely friends.

user3: WHO IS THE GUY IN THE THIRD PIC?

-> user4: it’s her costar! the proportions match!

-> charles_leclerc: no it isn’t. lol.

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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 1,037,637 others.

charles_leclerc: here is my ‘hard launch’ and now that i’ve got your attention. go watch my amazing talented girlfriend in her newest movie ‘material girl’.

oldersister: i still don’t like this.

-> landonorris: charles and i are in-laws now 😘

-> oldersister: who unblocked you from my instagram???

-> landonorris: WAIT NO 😭

user1: yasss watch this masterpiece of a movie!!

*liked by charles_leclerc.*

user2: king of promotion. y/n needs to get him a job in the marketing department.

danielricciardo: watched this film five times and if you saw me cry… no i didn’t.

user3: they’re actually so cute together?? this is growing on me.

yourusername: approved ✔️

-> charles_leclerc: just jumped in joy 😍‼️