#My thoughts and brain go wild when I try to eep
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1 AM silly phone doodles because im eepy but I cant sleep and my brain is wild with random ideas
Killer belongs to Rahafwabas
Dust belongs to Ask-Dusttale
Horror belongs to Sour-Apple-Studios
Ink belongs to Comyet
Error belongs to CrayonQueen
Hopefully I can sleep
#shitty phone drawings for the win#utmv#ink sans#ink!sans#utmv fanart#ink utmv#error sans#error sans fanart#error utmv#killer!sans#killer sans#dust sans#dust!sans#horror!sans#horror sans#okay now i eep#Maybe idk if i can#My thoughts and brain go wild when I try to eep#thats why this post exists#man Im tired
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haha uh oh i lost track of time i started thinking about a character that i have grown rapidly attached to in the past 24 hours and because i decided she i just like me fr!! but that's not the only reason i'm still awake i was going to write some b'rsh content but i didn't really like where it was going so i started writing shit related to the dnd campaign im going to run eventually (see look i didn't forget abt it existing) but yeah after i decided i was done writing i started thinking more about this fucking CHARACTER like holy shit she is so cool and so pretty and like. there's a lot in her story that just feels so much like me as a person in my own story on this wild ride, this passage of fate (haha get it xenoblade 3 reference that one was for a very specific person i'm mutuals with u know who u are teehee :3) but like anyways dendro muted altered my brain chemistry just a little bit bc i'm like "hey gay plant person who has chronic fatigue and pain who does that sound like" i mean of course i'm a flesh person and not a plant person but yknow. plant people are cool as fuck and if that was a thing irl i would be so good at it oh fuck it's so late i'm going to be so tired tomorrow chronic fatigue and not getting. sleep is such a good combo yknow it's like i'm taking a screenshot- oh shit i don't rlly hurt right now but if i start hurting BEFORE i go to bed that'll further impact my ability to go to sleep and then if that happens more fatigue and more pain it's a fucking cycle oh shit a cycle just like a motorcycle LIKE IN FINAL FANTASY VII i am so good and keeping the same train of thought in a singular post like that's something i pride myself in being able to do i definitely don't get completely sidetracked and talk about xenoblade and final fantasy when i'm trying to talk about webcomics and chronic illness (they're connected remember? that was like my whole thesis since dendro is so neat and reminds me of myself) also this has been a brain thought for like months now but i don't know what to do with it: chthonic illness it's like chronic illness but related to greek mythology underworld is that anything or just similar sounding words OKAY SHIT I SHOULD EEP HAVE A GOOD NIGHT MUTUALS :3 also i almost accidentally had a poll on this post and was just gonna hit send but it didn't let me which meant i learned how to get rid of it (LIKE IN DEATH NOTE) fuck i posted but now i'm editing bc i forgot one thing also that so cool abt dendro from muted (also spoilers for the last couple chapters of muted) BUT ANYWAY by the end of the series she uses a cane and so do i!!!! so yeah more of the whole "she's just like me fr" goin on over here but also good night for real have the night u deserve :3
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A New Town
This is the wild result of Weswin and Alric taking over my brain for the night having me write 6 pages in under 2 hours. This scene will MAYBE be from Book 2 of the main Lacohe trilogy if I decide to keep it, but for now I wanted to share because I thought it was cool
1254 words. tw: depersonalization
While Weswin went to barter with the gatekeeper for entrance to the town, Alric wandered over to the notice board and gazed over the various flyers and posted warnings. He noticed one corner in particular – plastered with bounties for various criminals and highwaymen. He squinted at them in the red setting sunlight, searching for if any looked familiar, then glanced over his shoulder at his traveling companion. The red hair faded into an auburn and freckles disappeared as he approached. Alric blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. He ought to keep an eye on that one, to make sure he didn’t lose him the minute he wandered away. He was about to turn around to re-join Weswin when his partner shook hands with the guard and hurried over to the notice board, shoving their papers in his knapsack.
“We’re good to go in! He said that there’s a tavern in want of entertainment just a block off the main plaza. We can head there, and barter for lodging for the night.” He said, handing over the directions so that he could look them over.
“Sounds like a good a plan as any,” Alric mumbled, turning away from the board. Now, Weswin squinted at the posters over his shoulder.
“Are you wanted?” He asked.
Alric scoffed, “Not here, thank the gods.”
He’d be wanted by no-one but the mages, if they knew what he’d done.
“Where then?”
Alric started at that. He shot Weswin a scowl. “You shouldn’t ask about that so close to the guards,” he hissed, jerking his head back towards the gate.
“Aw, they don’t care. As long as you’re not their problem. Hell, if you ticked off the right people they might welcome you as a hero, fanfare and all.”
“And you’d know?”
“Oh yeah, I’ve been run out of….” He paused and counted on his fingers. “Six towns now. And treated like a prince in two. Not looking to improve that record though. The last one was a long time ago. I’ve gotten better at being inconspicuous.”
As he stood near Alric, his hair turned back to the jet black that it had been when they were alone together in the woods. He shrugged and shifted his lute onto his other shoulder.
Alric narrowed his eyes at that. “You’re not going to cause any problems, are you?”
“Only if you do. Then I’d want in on the fun.”
Alric rolled his eyes and stalked in the direction of the gate. “Come on. I’m hungry.”
Weswin followed him with a spring in his step. “I’ll pay if you tell me that story.”
“Not a chance.”
Weswin shrugged and whistled for Eep, who currently looked like a mouse. It scampered over and scrambled onto his boot. He bent to pick it up and plopped it comfortably in his vest pocket. Then they made their way into the city together. As they entered the throng of people, he pressed his lips into a thin line but said nothing.
“What should I call you?” Alric whispered as they passed through the crowded entry courtyard.
“Wait,” he whispered.
Alric nodded and continued, following the directions. Weswin trailed a half-step behind so he could keep an eye on his friend and not get lost in the business. City markets were both his blessing and his curse. He loved sitting amongst the people, watching their endless faces and mannerisms, imagining stories for each of them. He loved the way the different ways they talked, smiled, gestured. He loved the mothers trying to buy groceries as their children tugged at their skirts. He loved the shopkeepers selling a thousand different wares. He loved the way they haggled and complimented and lied through their teeth to make a sale. He loved the way the soldiers stood at attention for hours under the sun and the brief moments someone cracked their momentary sternness. He loved the way the elderly gathered around the central cistern to gossip and lecture and catch up on the good old days. He loved the beggars, waiting for charity and helping each other when they could. He loved the big stages for the orators who wove arguments with silver tongues, for the performs flipping and tumbling with no regard for their necks, for the musicians that would lighten everyone’s lives with a little song. He was all of these people, and they all were him. His breath mingled with his brethren, his footsteps combined with theirs to make the ground almost rumble, his heartbeat in time with the heartbeat of the city itself.
It was all a part of him but he would never be a part of their daily lives. He would never be the friendly face at the cistern, He would never be the one whose house you came to when you needed a spare cup of flour. Communities don’t tolerate a perpetual stranger. Too many years of heartbreak taught him that. He’d come with a gust of wind and he’d go with the next storm. That was the way of things. It stretched him thin and left him with a hollowness in his chest, an ache in his bones, and exhaustion that a night in the tavern could never truly take away. On his own, he could almost forget. But in the market, his soul was split among a million different lives.
He stopped and took it all in, eyes shut, feeling his magic stretch in every direction. It hurt. He wanted to enjoy this trip. Eep quivered in his pocket. You feel it too, don’t you?
A gentle nudge on his shoulder shook him out of his reverie, and he opened his eyes to see Alric peering at him with a concerned expression.
“Wes-“
“I’m ok.” He shook his head but didn’t attempt to move.
“Let’s get you out of here.”
“mmhmm.” What had that looked like to an outsider? He hoped he hadn’t worried his friend too much. Or scared him, for that matter. Alric didn’t say anything else on the matter. Instead, he took his elbow and steered him in the direction of a less-crowded side street. Weswin came to his senses as they approached the door of the tavern. This was where he could function. He pulled the papers from his sack. They were made out to Israa Hendry – the name he’d come up with at the gate.
“How close do I look to before?” He asked Alric.
“Black hair, not red. Still long, but straight now. Your nose is smaller too. I think you’re about the same height.”
“Close enough.”
“By what metric?”
“By the ‘the guard didn’t write any of that information on the papers, just the time we came in.’ metric. No ID, that means I can bluff.”
“You’re going to… bluff your way into buying a room?”
“Sure. It’s not like the barkeep is going to check this.”
“Wouldn’t it just be easier for me to make the transaction?”
“You playing?” Weswin asked, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at the lute. Alric frowned, then shook his head.
“Fine.”
“Didn’t you say you are wanted somewhere? I don’t suppose you’ve got a fake persona to use while we’re in town?”
“um…”
“Didn’t think so.”
“I’ll figure something out.”
“Sure. Until then, let me do the acting. Besides, if anything goes wrong, nobody will notice me anyhow.”
Alric grumbled for a moment, then handed over the paper with a resigned look. Weswin beamed at him, and led the way into the tavern, showing no sign of the earlier lapse.
He hoped.
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thaw ➳ helios (mlqc)
➳ PAIRING: reader x helios (mlqc)
➳ WORD COUNT: 2188
➳ GENRE: injured! helios, fluff
➳ SYNOPSIS: helios breaks into and enters your house. you break into his heart in much the same fashion.
➳ REMARKS: i clearly cannot write for helios, spoilers for chapter 17+
A crash from your living room startles you awake.
Still half asleep, brain not quite running at a functional speed yet, you lie stock still in bed with the covers drawn up to your neck, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if you’d simply imagined the noise. A few seconds later, however, there’s a sound of something heavy hitting the floor outside your bedroom, a little muffled but still too loud to be anything imaginary, and goosebumps prickle down the back of your neck as you let out a little ‘eep’ of fear.
What’s happening? Had the wind from the window blown something over? Or had a burglar somehow gotten into your house? You swallow, trembling slightly at the thought as your mind runs wild with scenarios from previous crime programmes that you’ve filmed and all the cold murder cases Gavin has told you about. What if you end up a victim just like one of them?
Heart thudding wildly in your chest, part of you wants to just stay buried under the covers like this, the thick blankets at least providing you with some false sense of security, but the sheer need to know just what is happening in your house refuses to leave your mind like some sort of relentless itch. You slip out from under the covers carefully, reaching under your bed to grab the first heavy object your fingers wrap around before inching towards the bedroom door with caution in every step.
Pausing for a moment, you press your ear against the door. Completely silent.
For some reason, that just makes the trepidation all the more potent for you. Unable to take a second longer of this, your fingers wrap around the doorknob and pull delicately.
The door creaks open, alarmingly loud in the dead silence of the night. Concluding that any advantage of surprise you might have had is now flushed down the drain, you decide to throw all caution to the wind and leap out into the darkness of the living room, raising your item above your head menacingly.
“Hands up, intruder!” You yell, with as much aggression as you can muster.
No one responds.
Confused, you glance about the living room. There doesn’t seem to be anyone inside the apartment with you, and what seems to have made the earlier noise is-
“Oh no!” You yelp, dismayed. The gardenia plant Lucien had given you a few weeks ago is lying on the floor, its flowerpot cracked down the middle. The wind must have blown it over somehow, you reason with yourself as you step towards it. The weather forecast last night had predicted a possible storm with strong winds, so it’s no wonder that-
You pause midstep, a frown forming on your face.
You had closed the windows before going to bed last night precisely because you’d read the weather forecast. So if the windows were closed, how did-
You whirl around in horror, raising the object in your hands once more as realisation hits you, but it’s already too late. An arm snakes around your middle and tugs you hard against a solid chest, while a hand clamps hard around your mouth the second you try to scream for help. Flailing, you drop whatever you’d been carrying and struggle in your assailant’s grasp, and the person behind you lets out a sharp hiss of pain when your elbow strikes their side.
“Stop moving, idiot.”
Your gasp of surprise is muffled against the palm of his hand, you know this voice.
“Don’t scream,” the intruder warns lowly as he releases his grip on you. You spin around to get a look at him the second you can move, and the pale moonlight that lends an almost ethereal gleam to his silver hair confirms his identity for you in an instant.
“Helios!” His name leaves your lips in shock. You have to rub your eyes twice to make sure you’re not really dreaming, and even after you do so, you just can’t seem to find the words to ask him what he’s doing here. “You... What are you... Wha-”
“What were you even planning to do with this...” He grunts, glacial blue eyes glancing down disdainfully at the object of your choice for defense - a heavy binder of past proposals that had been rejected by Victor. In spite of the situation, you find your cheeks flushing.
“I was panicking, okay?”
Before you can find the opportunity to explain yourself, however, Helios lets out a sharp groan and sags to his knees before your eyes; you barely manage to catch him before he hits the ground hard. He’s too heavy for you to hold up in spite of your best efforts, so all you manage to do is slow his collapse to the floor. “Helios? Helios!”
“Shut up... you’re loud...” He waves off your frantic concern with one hand, but even in the dim light of the moon you can make out the faint sheen of sweat on his forehead and neck, his jaw taut and a pained glare on his face. “Just let me lie low here for a couple of hours and I’ll be out of your hair.”
Completely ignoring him, you tug at the white winter parka he usually wears to reveal the tattoo inked onto his right arm, yanking it down so that you can inspect him for injuries. Sure enough, the second you do, you catch sight of crimson staining the inside of his parka, the bloody gashes across his biceps. “You’re bleeding!”
“It’s just a scratch, nothing life threatening-” He tries to brush it off, but you’re already up and running into your kitchen to fetch a first aid kit. Helios groans in resignation as he settles against the wall, shaking his head and holding one hand to the wound at his side. “Shouldn’t have come here.”
“You shouldn’t even have gotten hurt in the first place!” You rush back to his side with a white box clasped firmly in your hands, kneeling next to him and inspecting his wound carefully, hands gentle as they probe at his side. “I can’t clean your wound properly like this... take your shirt off.”
“What.”
Too impatient to wait for him, you grab the hem of his skintight shirt and lift a pair of scissors to the material, snipping away before he can stop you. “Why is it that every time you visit, you’re hurt like this? I thought you were supposed to be some highly skilled assassin...” You mutter under your breath. Helios rolls his eyes at your words, but you can see the pain he’s trying to play off behind that indifferent facade.
“You weren’t meant to know that I was here.” He grunts, but otherwise staying still as you cut his shirt in half. This brings up conflicting emotions in you, on one hand, you’re glad that he at least trusts you enough to take care of his injuries, but you’re also upset that he’s hurt like this. “I was just going to steal your first aid supplies and patch myself up, but that stupid plant on the windowsill got in the way.”
“Don’t talk about Garda like that. Now I’m going to have to repot her... if she isn’t dead.” You scold, pulling the fabric away from his skin. Now that his shirt is off, you try the best you can to ignore the lean, defined muscles of his chest and inspect the injury where most of the blood has come from. A clean cut through skin and flesh at his side, dark red oozing slowly from it. “Oh my god, what happened?”
“None of your business-” He begins, but you uncap your bottle of hydrogen peroxide and pour it liberally on his side before he can stop you. The second the strong disinfectant hits his wound, he lets out a shout of pain, almost curling up on himself. “Ow! Fucking hell, that stings like a bitch, you-”
Your glare is about as terrifying as his. “I said, what happened.”
“... got knifed,” is all he mutters very unwillingly, but you consider that a victory, because he’s speaking to you at the very least. Resolving to be more gentle this time, you soak a cotton pad with disinfectant and proceed to dab carefully at the edges of the wound to clean off the blood and grime, brows furrowed in concentration. “I don’t suppose you’ll tell me how you got knifed in the first place?”
“No.”
You let out a sigh, shaking your head at his stony reply as you reach for the box of butterfly bandages in your first aid kit. Luckily for him, the wound doesn’t seem to be too deep after all that cleaning, and you’re not sure if you’ll do him more damage if you attempt sutures on him. “You break into my house in the middle of the night, scare me out of my wits, break my flowerpot, make me treat you... the least you could do is tell me what happened.”
“I didn’t make you treat me.” His blue eyes bore sharply into yours, a slight scowl tugging at his mouth. “Don’t expect any thanks from me, busybody. Keep your nose out of my problems next time before you get dragged into them as well. I’m not going to save you when that happens.”
“You’re as naggy as an old granny.” You hum, completely ignoring him and leaving a pat on top of his silver hair. Now that the most serious wound at his side is done, you move to cleaning the gashes on his arms, which are similarly bloody but not worryingly deep. “If you want to break into my house again, at least bring some nice food with you. I get hungry when I get woken up in the middle night.”
He glares at you. “Are you even listening to me?”
“And that’s the best I can do!” You say loudly over his words, dusting off your hands as you do a once over of his body. With no more visible wounds in sight, you gently put your hands under his arms to help haul him to his feet, even as he protests with all manner of curses and some very unsavoury remarks, before steering him to lie on the couch. “Now, Helios, we need to set some ground rules. As much as this little relationship we have is very fun and interesting-”
“We are not in any relationship!”
“–it is also very illegal! Breaking and entering is a big no-no, and it’s against the law. So, I have come up with a solution!” You turn around and rummage in a nearby cabinet for a moment, before you pull something out from the drawer and hold it up to light.
Helios squints at it, not quite understanding whatever antic you’re pulling this time. Exhaustion is tugging at his eyelids, his will to leave seeping away along with his wakefulness. Must be the blood loss. Or the comfort of your too small couch. Or maybe... just maybe, the familiar ramble of your voice. Either way, it’s not a good thing, he’d meant to make it back to headquarters before the night was over. “That’s... a key. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Exactly!” You beam brightly, opening up his hand and pressing the key into the middle of his palm. The grooves press into his skin, as if he’s holding the key to unlocking himself instead. It feels uncomfortable in his hand, but his fingers close around it on instinct. “It’s the key to my apartment. Next time, you can enter through the door, and not by less law-abiding means.”
He doesn’t tell you that he could unlock your door in a matter of seconds with the right tools. Instead, he only holds the key up, studying it wordlessly until your smile turns a little awkward. “Well, I mean, you don’t have to.” You tack on hurriedly, reaching to pluck the key from his grasp. To your surprise, however, he pulls the key out of your reach before you can so much as touch it, tucking it in the pocket of his pants.
“Your security is shitty anyway.” He says, before turning over so that you can’t see his face. Pouting a little, you stick out your tongue at him behind his back before you rise to your feet, intending to get him a blanket so that he can spend the night. Just as you’re about to step into your bedroom, however, his words stop you in your tracks.
“What do you want?”
You tilt your head back to look at him in confusion. “What do I want...?”
He glances up at you slightly, silver hair falling into icy blue eyes that seem to have just thawed ever so slightly. “For supper, you dolt.”
“Oh.” You say, and then suddenly you’re smiling so hard that your cheeks hurt. “Fried chicken.”
“So basic.” He mutters under his breath, but you only smile and throw a blanket over him.
“Goodnight, Helios.”
When you wake up the next morning, he’s already gone.
#mlqc#mlqc fanfic#mlqc kiro#mlqc helios#kiro#kiro zhou#mr love kiro#mr love queen's choice#mr love helios#helios#i forgot this fic sdhfkdsj
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It’s Our Nature
["You know, Grug. Eventually, Eep and Guy, they're going to want to start their own pack. Just like we did, it's our nature."] Grug is confused about when his little girl stopped being so little, perhaps its time Gran and Ugga tried reminding him it wasn't too long ago he was just like Guy and Eep are now. [Pre!A New Age, contains Guy/Eep and Grug/Ugga fluff/One-Shot]
You can read it here on Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13785964/1/It-s-Our-Nature
Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28525908
Please leave a read and a review ~ Thank you ~It was really hard sometimes for Grug to accept his little girl wasn't so little anymore. She'd always been stuck like tar to his side and would demand stories as a young child. The old cave walls were filled with tiny hand prints he never realized had grown bigger until Guy came along and forced him to be reminded Eep was indeed a woman. She was nineteen summers old and the fact wasn't lost on anyone who had functioning eyes in their head.
Fathers only saw with their hearts though and inside Grug's his daughter was still that rambunctious sweet little girl who needed him to protect her. That also included suitors.
"Grug you're brooding again," he heard Ugga say from behind him.
"This is just my face." Grug shifted his weight from where he sat lounging against his favorite rock.
"Trust me, I can see them just as clearly as you can."
Grug couldn't help but stiffen at her call out of his snooping. Was it really spying though if the two were out in the open? They were together by the beach with Chunky playing third wheel. The demanding feline squeezed his way between them when he felt they were being too touchy. Or maybe it was just Grug self projecting, his cat generally liked being the center of attention. Guy and Eep were fishing by hand in the water but it soon turned into a game of seeing who could out run the tide first whilst trying to knock the other down. Chunky kept getting confused by this activity as he shook droplets off his wet paws.
Eep was in the lead by at least seven points, it wasn't like Grug was keeping track though. "Why didn't you tell me sooner Eep was all grown up?" Grug side eyed his mate who just laughed at him.
"She's up to your shoulder and gives you a hard time like every teenager, I thought it was obvious." Ugga nudged him with her elbow, her small hands were busy threading a bone needle with sinew as she sewed new clothes for her family.
"Well… she was always a stubborn girl and big for her age," he quipped as he crossed his arms.
"And then she got that doe-eyed look when mister-you-know-who showed up." Ugga batted her eyelashes playfully in emphasis and folded her hands beneath her chin a moment. It was hard to keep a straight face, Ugga quickly laughed it off. Grug set his jaw in a very uncharacteristic pout.
"Never should have stuffed him in the log," Grug said with less heart than he actually felt. Sure, he enjoyed roughing the kid up sometimes and making a big show of being upset seeing Eep with Guy but in truth he was fond of the… guy. It was still his job as a dad to scare Guy a little.
"Oh don't say that, he's practically our son now."
"Does that mean I need to protect him from Eep then?" He kept the edge of hope out of his voice the best he could as he faced his mate.
Ugga rested her chin on her fist thoughtfully, she put the needle safely away as she watched the two lovebirds chase one another on the beach. "You might, honestly," Ugga said with a warm voice. "She's a handful."
He heard a startled yelp from the shore and got to enjoy the sight of Guy yet again face planting in the sand. Eep pounced over his toppled form, he was spitting sand from his mouth.
"Gotta be faster than that!" She shouted with a victorious smile.
Guy mustered the energy to mockingly look at her like he was bothered but the toothy grin that spread on his face afterward said otherwise.
"Lovesick idiots," remarked Gran as she hobbled over to join them. She watched Eep and Guy fondly despite her toughness. "What I wouldn't give to be their age again. Especially with a boy like him, where was he fifty summers ago?"
"Ugh, I don't need that mental image," Grug mumbled with a shudder, his face surly.
"Aw Grug. Don't you remember what it was like to be young and in love?"
"I do, and that's why I'm worried!" Grug jutted a thumb behind him and caught the confused blank stare Guy gave the group at catching their gossip. "Young and hot blooded, Ugga."
Eep went over to haul Guy back up by the scruff of his neck. She shot Grug an embarrassed and irritated look that was muffled by her wild mane of red hair. "Ugh… Dad, we can hear you!"
"Good! So keep your hands to yourselves! You don't want little Eeps!" Grug paused. "I don't want more little Eeps, one of you is plenty!"
Guy gaped at them like a suffocating fish, Gran guffawed and shook her head. "Let them be, lunkhead. Not like they'll do anything in front of us, eh?" The two younger children of the Croods clan, Sandy and Thunk, looked up in confusion from where they were busy playing with Douglas a short distance away.
Eep pulled the curtain of hair over her eyes and wished for the ground to swallow her. Guy rubbed the back of his neck at the narrow eyed look Grug shot him.
Ugga rolled her eyes and began to try shooing the old woman off. "Mom, please."
"Come now, it's my generational right to tease the youngsters." Gran reached forward with her staff to hook it under the back of Grug's pelt shirt. She jerked it up with more speed than a lady her age should have, causing Grug to choke a moment as he grabbed for the shirt collar. "See? Like that! Sides, I got plenty of blackmail about you two turtledoves too. Grug was pathetic."
Grug eyed her with a pointed glare once he was free of her pesky walking stick. Gran was unbothered, only grinned a toothy smile as she flopped comfortably onto the sand. She glanced towards Eep who perked at the potential to embarrass her father for once. It was hard to miss the mischievous wink she sent her granddaughter. Grug didn't like the curious glint in those green eyes as his spunky daughter practically skidded to seat herself near Gran. Guy followed clumsily as she had a vice grip on his hand. How Eep hadn't pulled his shoulder out along the way, Grug would never know.
It wasn't long until the entire family were seated in front of Gran. Thunk had Douglas in his lap and Sandy was curled around Belt who cooed at the attention. Ugga gave her mate a look that was screaming 'you brought this on yourself', Grug resigned himself to his fate out of pride. Real men didn't run from such things and as the patriarch he refused to be cowed by silly stories of when he was courting Ugga.
"What was dad like with mom?" Eep asked as she leaned forward, grinning. She looked at Grug who just huffed.
"Like I said, utter mushy rotten fruit. You think Guy is tooth rotting, you should have seen your father in his day." Guy pouted at being the butt of the joke as usual, he cast his dark eyes at Grug. He smirked as if to boast at the boy, smug that he wasn't going down alone in this evening razzing. "I wanted to chuck a rock at him every time he came to see Ugga."
Some of Guy's pride was built back up again though when Eep fondly rubbed shoulders with him. Grug began to wonder if it really was self-projecting this time when Chunky nosed his way between the young couple for a snuggle. Guy looked startled whilst Eep just scratched the Macawnivore between the ears.
Ugga decided to play traitor this night. "Mom how about you tell the kids about that time when Grug went on that big errand you gave him."
Grug couldn't help but wince and gave Ugga a scowl. The little minx had the nerve to grin innocently at him despite the betrayal.
"Big errand?" Guy echoed, he was barely visible from under Chunky's massive form.
"That story is my favorite," Gran cackled with a devious gleam in her eye. "And see Guy, back in our day if you wanted to court a woman you had to do something for the head of the family! Gramp was dead so I got to pick the task. Bless that heart attack he had."
Eep and Guy shared a look before both teenagers gazed questionably at Grug. He fidgeted before rolling his eyes. "That was Yesterday stuff. Besides, Guy saved us from The End with all his weird ideas so… consider the tab paid off."
"That brain thing of yours is really useful," Eep agreed with a girlish tone.
Guy blushed red at the compliment but didn't shy away from it. If anything it just made him glow proudly. "There's more where that came from," he quipped and knocked his knuckles lightly against his temple.
Grug almost wished he'd missed the bright, lovesick smiles the two shared despite Chunky barring them apart to the best of his ability. The desire for his daughter's happiness won out though, luckily for Guy who beamed. Even protective fathers and clingy Macawnivores weren't enough to stop true love it seemed.
"Anyway… it's no secret I didn't like your dad. So I came up with the most impossible task ever to earn Ugga." Gran licked her dry lips as she grunted, "Of course Grug had to go and actually do it."
"What did you make dad do?"
"Told him to go get a hair off a naked molephant."
Guy blinked. "But naked molephants don't have hair."
"Well, this is Grug so of course the nincompoop found the one blasted molephant that had hair." Grug let himself puff his chest out like a peacock preening its feathers.
"Yeah, well, you should have known better when you set me out on a job, Gran." He gave his mother-in-law a catty grin, for now he could relish in a past victory that smarted her way back when.
Eep looked at her grandmother mischievously. "So… when does the story get good?"
Ugga snickered, by now she had abandoned her sewing to sit between Thunk and Sandy. Thunk leaned against his mother as the woman combed her fingers through his scruffy mop of hair. "When he came back with his tunic ripped apart by a tusk," Ugga interjected.
"Wow," Thunk said in awe, turning his eyes to stare at Grug. Grug appreciated at least one Crood wasn't laughing at him. "How'd you do that?"
Gran cocked an eyebrow with a chuckle. "Yeah Grug, tell them."
Grug crossed his arms moodily. "Just for the record, it was a real life or death battle getting that stupid hair."
"Ugga was sewing his left buttocks for weeks," Gran said with a slap to her knee, the memory made her lifetime, really. She lifted her bony hands up to gesture with those old curled fingers of hers a measurement. "He's got a scar like this—"
"—ANYWAY! Like I was saying," Grug grumbled. He turned his attention back to his family. He scooped up a clump of sand and clay from the ground below and drew a vaguely person-like shape into the rock he had been lounging on. Then he drew a beast with tusks and a long nose next to him. "It was a battle of life and death, there I was, twenty two summers old—"
It was pure spite that kept him going hours after setting forth into the desert. Gran was convinced he couldn't win her daughter as his mate, and so when the old lizard raised the stakes he was determined to prove her wrong. He would get Ugga, she was something special and worth more than daylight itself.
He loved her and if it took getting a stupid molephant hair to be with her then so be it. Gran had been making him jump through hurdles since the day he'd met Ugga, it was no secret they shared a mutual loathing for each other. It also came from the same selfless affection the two had for Ugga, though Grug would have thought knowing he made her daughter happy was enough for her. Growling under his breath, he wiped the sweat from his brow.
There was still a good five knuckles before the sun would set, he'd find it before then. Either that or he was going to face the dangers night brought—
“You? Staying outside at night?” Eep sounded doubtful.
“...yes,” Grug huffed.
“See? Big mush,” Gran interrupted.
"Can I finish? Nobody interrupted this much back in the cave," he grumbled moodily.
—He was sure the beast was around here somewhere as he took a cautionary sniff of the dry, dusty air. Grug could see footprints inbedded in the barren and broken ground that sand didn't cover yet. Running onwards, he pressed his knuckles into the ground as he paced himself.
Grug crossed the desert quickly and ignored the aching in his palms and feet from the hot tough earth. He was built strong and a little pain wouldn't stop his pride. He paused when the scent grew stronger, flaring his nostrils he climbed up a nearby tree to survey what was around. The sun was strong against his eyes and Grug strained through the bright rays of light to see a dark speck in the distance. In a nearby canyon below, Grug finally found what he was looking for—
"What about never being afraid?" Thunk asked his father.
Grug looked at Thunk before settling his dark eyes on his beloved Ugga. "I was afraid," he admitted with a chuckle. "But I wanted to impress your mother more. Being stubborn and hormonal is a terrible mix."
"You stubborn? No!" Eep exclaimed with a teasing grin. Guy gave her a playful look from where he was walled by Chunky.
Grug made a vague gesture with his hand and he relished in the confused faces Eep and Guy made when Chunky pressed his full weight against both of them. Guy yelped for mercy as Eep tugged on the cheeky feline that was crushing him into the sand.
"Grug! Please call him off!" A large paw cuffed his head, Guy's words quickly muffled.
"Dad!"
Grug suppressed a grin as he went back to his story. "I found the molephant so what was next was getting the hair—"
Grug couldn't say how long it took climbing down that cliff wall to reach the level the molephant was at. It was risky and went against what Grug practiced in his beliefs. Caution and fear kept him alive this long, yet here he was about to go harass an molephant for some hair it might or might not have. Dread pooled in his belly and made him cold, going after more beasts was not how he wanted this to go. Breathing heavily through his gritted teeth, Grug crept as quietly as he could across the canyon. There were many tall and small rocks around that would provide cover should he need to hide.
Grug didn't have a brain, cavemen didn't use those. At least he didn't and it showed when he found himself running full speed away from a rampaging molephant. He relied on his gut instinct to weave and dodge its massive tusks that were swung at him. Grug scrambled and whenever he managed to get close, the creature stomped it's way towards him with a vengeance.
He bit back a curse when a tusk just barely ripped part of his tunic at his chest—
"—so this is when the story gets to the best part," Eep interrupted with a cheeky hum. She'd since rescued Guy from the weight of Chunky and had him cuddled protectively in her arms. She rested her chin on his mused up brown hair. Guy idly stroked one of her hands that were interlocked at his neck and chest.
"I thought it was always at the best part," Thunk quipped in a confused voice to his sister.
"If I say anything else I'm worried I'll become Macawnivore food," Guy said and tipped his head to the side with a huff.
Ugga smiled at her children as Grug shot them a look to be silent. "Look if you want to laugh at me can I finish this up then first?"
Gran reached her staff out to bop Eep over the head, her bushy red hair cushioned the blow. "Yeah, hush your tongue."
Eep huffed when she felt Guy trying to muffle his grin into her arm. Grug shook his head at the sight, feeling a fond nostalgia swell within him despite the protective instinct. He looked at Ugga and she just arched a brow at her mate. Grug turned back to telling the story, large fingers drawing more on the rock.
"The molephant was putting up a good fight but your old dad was better—"
—He was swearing aloud and screaming as he hung onto the tusk by his shirt. Grug was glad he didn't feel wounded but this was just a disaster waiting to happen. Even the molephant seemed dismayed at the fact he now had the man stuck on his face. It kept rampaging and Grug strained against the beast in order to sink his feet forcibly into the hard earth. Dust filled the air and with his innate strength, Grug managed to swing his body around to grab it by its tusk. The molephant slowed and leaned back to buck, swinging Grug off after a lot of effort.
He was thrown through the air and scrambled to find his feet as he rolled like a big boulder. Dazed, Grug just barely got out of the way of the molephant as it charged him. Panting, Grug finally saw the hair on its angrily swishing tail. It groaned in frustration and Grug realized the molephant had gotten its massive body stuck between two rocks. Panicked and running strictly on adrenaline, Grug reached forward to yank off a clump of hair from its tail. It trumpeted its distress, Grug began to rush away but there was the sound movement. He dared to look behind him, yelling out he did all he could to escape the incredibly pissed off beast.
It only took one stupid stumble to find that in that split moment he was thrown into the air. Pain flowered under his back and rump. The last seconds felt like they were slow motion as he landed harshly into a patch of huge, prickly brambles. Everything went blurry and before he knew it, there was nothing...
He'd awoken to darkness and the scent of blood in his nose. He was tangled upside down in a bramble bush and covered in an uncomfortable amount of burrs. There was also pain in his rear end and back, Grug noted with a groan. However the panic he felt for that hair won out his concern for his current state. He couldn't go back without that blasted hair!
He froze his struggling at a sound in the distance and cowardly he hunkered down the best he could whilst suspended in the air head facing down. However, it soon turned into a voice. "...Grug! Grug?!'
"Ugga?!" He whispered harshly and in the moonlight he saw the cavewoman trotting cautiously on all fours. "I'm over here!"
Ugga hurried towards him and gave him a worried once over. Grug grinned at her concern until she scowled, harshly tugging on his ear like he was an impudent child. "Are you asking for a death wish, Grug?! Look at you! I can't believe you took mom seriously!"
"...it's good to see you too, Ugga," he grunted, pressing a hand to his ear to drown out the headache she gave him.
Ugga circled him with careful gray eyes as she tried to figure out how to get him down. "You are lucky no hungry predators sniffed you out first before I did," Ugga continued to scold.
Grug stiffened at the mention of such a risk and reached an arm to grab her shoulder as if it would protect her. "You shouldn't even be out here," he grumbled back.
"I know but after hearing mom laughing it up with the tribe about this stupid errand I needed to find you," Ugga hissed, pulling away to give him another stink eye. "I'm so mad at you right now."
"Yeah well once I find where that dumb hair went I'll be the one laughing at her!" Grug exclaimed, wiggling in an attempt to dislodge himself.
"Would you hold still? You're just going to make yourself worse," she complained and began to tear at the thicket with her strong, calloused hands.
Grug, being the stubborn man he was, continued to squirm this way and that. "I can get down myself," he huffed.
Ugga threw her hands up in frustration before yanking at a cord of bramble. "You have a head made of rocks, Grug."
Grug opened his mouth to argue back before suddenly falling. He cried out when his head hit the ground, grabbing at his neck in pain of the impact. Nursing a bump that felt like some giant goose egg, Ugga examined his tunic.
She made a noise through her teeth in fret. "How are you not dead right now?"
"I don't know!" He said with a growl, shuffling to sit up. Everything hurt from his skull to his toes that spread out in the pulse of his blood. "But between you, your mom and that molephant, all of you are really trying to bury me!"
Ugga rolled her eyes and spun him around, she pulled up his shirt before Grug could even protest. "You're lucky," she sighed, relief warming her voice. "That molephant tusk missed a major arterie. Really ruined your tunic though."
He softened and reached a hand out to touch her arm. "I got other shirts."
"It's probably going to scar. Can you walk?" Ugga faced him once again, he couldn't help but frown as he watched her wipe her bloody palm in the sand. My blood, Grug thought with a pained wince.
The adrenaline of the moment and even beyond it was wearing off, Grug really wanted to go back to his cave to nurse his wounds and ego. "I think so. Um… help balance me?"
A smile lit up her face and Grug wondered if it was the blood loss or her that made him sway breathlessly. "Sure." Ugga offered her arm to him which he took.
However, he stopped with a groan. "Ugh… wait. The hair, I'm not going back without that hair!"
"Forget the hair, Grug. Mom will get over it."
"Oh no! Ugga, I'll never hear the end of it if I don't give her that stupid hair!" Grug let go of Ugga to try peering through the darkness on the ground, crouching on his knuckles.
Ugga put her hands on her hips. "What is so important about getting my mom this hair? Naked molephants don't even have hair."
Grug just stuck a finger at her triumphantly. "Yes, yes they do and I swear to the sun it's not just me getting loopy from all this blood loss."
"Grug, you're scaring me," Ugga said in a deadpanned tone, brows arched.
"That old lizard can't keep us apart anymore after this," he continued to ramble on and on.
"Grug…"
"If it's a hair that ancient fossil wants in order to get her out of mine for good then so be it," he continued.
"Grug!"
"What?!"
"If you want to be my mate so bad why don't you just ask me yourself?"
Grug stopped his frantic search and stiffened up like a ribbit being hunted by a liyote. He turned to face her and saw she looked disappointed, arms crossed over her muscular chest. "Um… excuse me?" He wanted to kick himself for stuttering, he wasn't a boy anymore.
"I'm not something to trade for, and the fact you actually went through with it astounds me." Ugga shook her head with a sigh.
Grug shuffled his weight uncomfortably, he'd never been good at addressing his feelings out in the open like that. Even if it was for Ugga whom he loved dearly. "I know you're not an object, Ugga."
"Then why ask mom?"
"I… I don't know. I guess… I got tired of her talking badly about, you know… us." Grug looked at her with a frown, uncharacteristically vulnerable.
Ugga reached out to cup his cheek in her hand as she stood in front of him. "Mom says a lot of things, you really need to tune her out."
He turned his head to brush his nose against her palm in a fond gesture, slouching. "She always says I'm no good for you, Ugga."
"Well, lucky for us mom isn't the one you have to court. It's me." She leaned back on her heels, still stroking his face with a gentle touch for a woman as fierce as Ugga.
"I'm just saying, getting her to shut up would be a win win to this mess." Grug shrugged his shoulders in a dismissive way, a small grin on his face.
Ugga rolled her eyes at him. "You and your manly pride are going to get you into trouble."
"If I'm already in trouble I might as well finish up," he quipped. Grug found his molephant hair amongst the broken debris the molephant had left in its rampaging wake, he’d lifted it up triumphantly in the moonlight. Ugga shook her head. “Okay, now, we can go back!”
When they returned, the sun had started to rise over the desert as dawn chased off the night. Gran had stood outside the dwelling she shared with Ugga, her scowl etched deep into her wrinkled features. The other families were creeping out of their dens in preparation of the morning hunt and foraging, their curious eyes were shocked to see Grug limping back into the canyon with Ugga supporting his hulking mass.
Grug shoved the wad of hair into Gran's face with a low growl, "Here's your stupid hair!" The old woman took it with muted shock for once, gaping mouth wide as she looked between Grug and Ugga. With a burst of adrenaline and pride, he looped his massive arm around Ugga's waist to haul her over his shoulder.
She gave a startled laugh, lightly smacking her fists into his back. "We're going back to this tradition, are we?"
"I gotta make sure your mom doesn't try anything again, you're as good as mine now," Grug huffed, limping with his Ugga secured in his grasp like she weighed light as a feather.
"You're too much, Grug."
"You've never complained before," he shot back with a grin.
"C'mon big guy, I think all that blood loss is affecting your head. Let me patch you up."
Grug headed for his cave, merry that he'd gotten Ugga and at the same time shut that awful lizard of a mother-in-law up. It costed him his pride, he noted, it was hard to ignore the snickering of the families around them. He only bared his teeth at them which seemed to work for the moment. Once his back was turned the whispering and giggling continued.
Ugga merely pressed her forehead into the back of his neck and it made everything better… least until Gran moved in but that was a different story for another tomorrow.
Grug finished his story with flourish, loosely drawing what seemed to be a lopsided circle around the two images presenting Ugga and himself.
"I like that story," Eep said, a bit dreamily as she looked at the pictures. "It wasn't really embarrassing though."
"It was if you were there," Grug scoffed as he wiped his clay covered hands on his pelt.
"Well, it still makes me laugh at least," Gran said from where she sat, cackling.
"You laugh at anything that has me getting beat up," he pointed out, surprisingly with a much more amiable tone.
"Not true, now that you learned some jokes I laugh at other things too."
Ugga smiled fondly at her mate, letting Thunk sit up so she could go wrap her arms around his bicep in a hug. "Thank you," Ugga said, rubbing her nose into his cheek.
Grug softened and felt his ears burn, giving her a small smile. His eyes fell to his audience and he couldn't help lingering on Eep who still had Guy draped in her lap. They were gazing at one another like nobody else existed around them for the moment, Guy lifting a finger to fondly boop her nose.
Ugga shook her head. "Let them be, you remember what it was like still." She patted his arm fondly with a knowing smile.
Grug huffed but said nothing, just reluctantly looked away from the two lovestruck teenagers. "I've been lounging around too much anyway." He tried shrugging off the blatant teenage romance going on right in front of him. "Since they're busy, dinner duty is on me now." The plan had been fish but he knew that failed disastrously from the word go.
He grabbed Thunk by the shoulder and the boy protested a moment, Douglas scampered between their legs as Grug lead the way towards the woodland hugging the beachfront. Ugga watched Grug go, sighing like she was a girl of twenty summers old again. She reached down to grab Sandy who wiggled in her arms, Ugga tucked her under her elbow without batting an eye over the feral snarling. She cast one last look at Eep and Guy before walking off herself, intending to put Sandy down for a nap.
"C'mon you little scamp," Ugga told her daughter. "You need all the rest you can get for when Dada comes back with food."
"Hey… where did everybody go?" Eep found a moment to look away from Guy to realize the clearing had been well… cleared out. Only one that remained was Gran, the old battle ax of a woman rolled her eyes.
Guy lingered his gaze on her still. "I don't know but you are still here so it's not a problem yet for me."
She fought off a smile best she could but failed at his widening one.
"About time the two of you joined us back in this world," she grunted in a teasing tone, her joints creaking as she pushed herself to her feet.
"Oh, hey Gran." Guy waved a hand idly in her direction.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Eep inquired, huffing.
"Oh, you know very well what I mean," Gran replied, stretching a kink out of her back. She gave a satisfied sigh at the pop, leaning comfortably against her stick. "Anyway lovebirds… I want my afternoon nap now. Laughing at Grug really wipes an old lady out."
"Hold on a second!" Eep exclaimed, springing up to her feet. She unceremoniously hefted Guy up in her arms as she did so, his dark eyes only startled for a second. "Why is that story your favorite, really?" Eep asked with a squint.
She put Guy back on his own two feet though clung to his bicep. He leaned against her solid form without a thought, it came as easy as breathing air. "You and Grug didn't seem to have the best relationship," Guy added thoughtfully as he looked at her.
Gran huffed through what was left of her teeth, shaking her head. "It reminds me of how foolishly in love you two are," she chuckled at the matching blushes on their faces. "Being so devoted that you go and do something stupid to prove it. I'd watch your back Guy, Grug knows he can get you to climb in Chunky's mouth if it means Eep is your reward for it."
"Eep isn't a thing," he sputtered.
Eep couldn't help but playfully jab his ribs. "I'm not a catch then?"
"Of course you are!" Even at her most gentle, Eep knocked the wind out of him and he was wheezing.
"See! That is what I mean," Gran cackled as she reached out to pat Guy fondly on the shoulder. "Lovesick idiot. Eep has you down pat. That's okay though, us ladies like a man who's easy to boss around." She winked at Eep and Guy.
She heard Eep's disgruntled scoff as she turned away, a mischievous grin tugging her old lips. "Do try to behave yourselves. Well, I'll say ta-ta for now, loves." Leaving the two to their own devices at last, Gran began to hobble off after the direction her daughter Ugga had gone.
Guy stared at the pathway until Gran was a mere speck and turned to look at Eep. "Am I easy to boss around?"
"Behave ourselves," Eep said, pouting. "She's acting like we have no restraint!"
Guy chuckled with a teasing grin, leaning down to brush his lips against the hinge of her jaw. She immediately melted. "Maybe she's kinda right about that, at least," he mumbled against her chin.
Eep nuzzled herself closer to him, feeling his breath fan her neck. “We probably shouldn’t prove her right, you know how Gran is.”
Guy just huffed and began to pepper her neck and face in kisses, Eep had no complaints despite her playful refusal. Rebellion just came with being young, even if the old codger would relish in teasing them later for it.
#thecroods#the croods#croods#the croods a new age#the croods 2 a new age#the croods fanfiction#croods fanfiction#uggaxgrug#grugxugga#ugga x grug#grug x ugga#grugga#eep x guy#guyxeep#eepxguy#guy x eep#geep#my writing#mywriting#fanfiction#its our nature
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Li’un Ma Shkio - Pt. 6
Part One, Two, Three, Four, & Five
Unvar and Karianna awaken in each others arms. Have things changed between them? Or is Karianna still fighting the strange bond she feels?
Bit of a slower scene. Next part gets better. Going to start wrapping up the story soon(ish), so stay tuned! Likes and comments to let me know you still want updates.
....
I wasn’t sure how long I slept, but when next I woke, I could hear the camp bustling around me just beyond the tent walls. Still, it was muffled, and only began to filter into my ears as I started to wake. It was easy to tune out.
My eyes blinked lazily, and I yawned wide, feeling a little hazy. That sort of stupor when you first wake up, when you are simultaneously in all the places you’ve ever woken up in your life before your brain catches up your memory retrieval. For a second, I thought I was back home, in my own bed. There was a little confusion as I tried to sort out where my window had gone, and why I felt like my head was at the foot of the bed instead of on my pillows.
But then suddenly it all came flooding back to me. I started slightly, my eyes going wide. I jerked and twisted, sitting bolt upright. My elbow hit something solid and warm beside me as I sprung up.
There was a loud grunt next to me, and I spun, giving a confused squeak when I looked down.
Unvar’s yawn was so wide I thought I might be able to fit my head inside his mouth. Slowly, he rolled onto his back and stretched his arms up over his head, the muscles rippling as he flexed them. Blinking dully, he looked up at me with bleary eyes, tucking his hands behind his skull.
“Yukna vat,” he greeted me in a deep grumble still laden with sleep.
I stared at him stupidly. “What?”
“Eh, good morning, you say.” He untucked one hand and rubbed his meaty fist against the corner of his mouth.
The Tlaloc resumed his stretching with his massive legs, grunting softly. The muscles in his abdomen flexed and I quickly tried to find somewhere else to look. Shyly, I pulled a blanket up over my shoulders and wrapped myself in it, suddenly very aware of the thin slip that barely covered my breasts and stomach, let alone my thighs.
Unvar grunted again, and swung his legs out of the bed. Sitting up, his broad shoulders rippled as he stretched them back and forth too.
“After midday,” He grumbled softly, shaking his head and running one hand over the top, “Not morning.”
Unsure what to do, I looked around the tent and listened to the muffled sounds from the other side. I rubbed at my injured shoulder, which was tender and sore this morning. But the skin was cool to the touch, so I figured I had managed to stave off infection so far at least. Unvar gave one last huge yawn, then stood.
I gave a soft “eep!” and quickly spun as his tight ass suddenly filled my view. I covered my eyes with one hand, staring down at my own lap instead as my cheeks flushed red.
The Tlaloc gave a snort. “Shikoba have strange-ness about body naked-ness,” He observed, and I felt the bed shift as he stood, “Is just skin. But Shikoba shamed by seeing it.”
I didn’t feel like arguing the point of it. Instead I listened quietly as he shuffled about. Eventually, I dared a peek through my fingers, and saw that he was just pulling up his armor over his stomach. He fussed with the ties while I slowly dropped my hand again.
“You have hunger?” He asked me, then turned without waiting for an answer and disappeared out the tent flap.
There were loud shouts in his guttural language, though I supposed the tone sounded mostly cheery. I couldn’t make out any of the words, and decided I only knew all of three words anyways. Considering they mostly had to do with kissing, they wouldn’t likely be very helpful to figure out what was going on. My lips tingled at the thought, and I felt my ears growing hot again. I scooched to the edge of the bed and draped my legs over.
Unvar reappeared, smacking the tent flap back, with a plate full of meats, bread, and cheeses. I jumped at his entrance, but managed to quickly relax when I realized it was just him. He lifted the plate a little, almost triumphantly, then plunked down onto his stump, grabbing up a fistful of food as he did.
Quietly, I slid off the bed, my bare feet wiggling as they touched the cool floor. But it was much warmer than the night before, so I shuffled over with the blanket still wrapped around me to take my seat across from him.
He had already gobbled up a large portion of the meat by the time I got there and held out the plate to me, so I took up a large leg of what looked like it might be pheasant for myself. I grabbed a warm bread roll and a large wedge of cheese as well, finding myself surprisingly hungry.
Unvar leaned back and grabbed a jug from nearby, dragging it over. He uncorked it, then drained half the liquid with thirsty gulps. Some dribbled down his chin as he drank, and I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at him as I watched. He gave a satisfied “ahhh!” as he dropped the jug down, and wiped at his wet mouth with the back of his hand.
I had stopped chewing, with the meat halfway to my mouth, staring at him. He seemed to notice, cocking his head to one side curiously. He held the jug out to me, shaking it slightly in invitation. I showed him my full hands helplessly, and he nodded, placing it within easy reach instead.
He leaned back slightly, the plate he had brought in almost entirely bare, and made some happy sounds I couldn’t quite describe. All while patting his stomach. He reached up and dug one fingernail between his tusks, stretching his jaw about as he did. It looks almost comical, and I wrinkled my nose to suppress a laugh. Instead, I focused on my own food, finishing it (though not nearly as quickly) then dragging the jug over to take a much more delicate few sips. Whatever the liquid, it was cool and refreshing, though tasted a little like barley or perhaps wheat. I licked my lips and sipped a little more.
Unvar meanwhile stood, collecting his boots and ax from where he had tossed them the night before. He also grabbed his broadsword, but didn’t strap it to his back just yet. Instead, he dragged it over to the fire.
“What are you doing today?” I asked him curiously, picking up another roll from the plate now on the ground. I used it to fish up the few scraps of meat left on the plate and spoon them up to my mouth.
He grunted. “Many things. Chief things. Hard to explain.”
Then he turned and considered me, appraising me from head to toe. I swallowed my mouthful under his scrutiny and shuffled nervously. He shook his head.
“Cannot wear blanket all day.” He told me, his tone almost scolding.
I glanced over at my clothes in a pile on the ground. “But, my clothes are filthy, and-”
I jumped as the Tlaloc Chief shouted something out the flap of the tent.There was a resounding roar in reply that had my eyes shooting wide.
Another Tlaloc entered the tent at his summons, ducking her head to avoid knocking it into the post over the doorway. She was huge! Taller than Unvar, and though not as wide, her muscles still seemed larger than my head in most places. She was covered with equally sparse furs and leather, and one of her long tusks was capped in silver. Garnished in simply a strange leather breast piece and a small fur skirt that reached halfway down her thighs, her chiseled abs and stoney shoulders were bare. Her hair was in wild dreads, falling about her shoulders like a black mane, and she crossed her meaty arms over a full bosom, raising one bushy eyebrow at Unvar.
For his part, Unvar simply looked up at her and exchanged some words with her in their tongue. She grunted, then turned her eyes on me. Her hawk-like gaze made me feel like shrinking into some dark corner somewhere and never coming out again. She looked me up and down from head to toe as Unvar had, then turned back to him, speaking loudly. I didn’t have to know the words to tell she was complaining. Unvar growled back at her, and she seemed to bristle a little at his words. But then she nodded, and ducked back out of the tent.
“Ta’nik will bring you clothes.” Unvar told me, nodding approvingly.
“But-”
The Tlaloc in question reappeared, bundles of furs in her arms and a small basket under one elbow. Though perhaps it just appeared small since her elbow was the size of my thigh. She seemed to dip her head to Unvar, somewhat politely, then began speaking again in their deep, throaty language. Unvar argued back with her, and their volume slowly began to increase.
Ta’nik, as I supposed her name was, dropped her things next to the fire and spun on Unvar, her hands on her hips. Her voice was getting even louder, and I flinched nervously. Unvar raised his voice to match hers, and even raised one finger at her. But Ta’nik shoved him, gesturing to the door, then shoved him again. I was absolutely shocked, especially when Unvar grunted, seeming to relinquish whatever argument he had just lost.
Looking over at me sheepishly, he shrugged, scooping up his broadsword. “I wait outside.”
Before I could beg him to not, he slipped out the tent flap, leaving me alone with the female Tlaloc.
She spun on me, and I jumped as she stomped over and reached out. Her huge hand grabbed my good arm, and yanked me up to stand before her. My forehead barely came to the bottom of her ribs, and I had to crane my neck back to look up at her. Still, she glared down at me with her hawk eyes, then they narrowed. I wracked my brain, trying to remember the words Unvar had said to me just a few minutes ago.
“Umm…. Yukna… vak?” I tried, even attempting a feeble little smile.
Her scowl deepened. “‘Yukna vak?’ Tasht vil ik non, valmul shik’na.” Her tone was scolding, and I shrunk into the blanket.
Shaking her head, she grabbed the fur and yanked it off me. I yelped, but she simply tossed it to the bed, then grabbed one of my shoulders. She turned me a little, then back the other way.
“Ick’thin dul!” She exclaimed, smacking my good shoulder with the back of her hand and placing the other on her hip. Even that light touch had me staggering back a step to keep my balance.
She plucked at the thin slip I wore, then poked one finger at my bandages. Shaking her head and grumbling some other words I didn’t catch, she turned to what she had brought with her. She held up one fur, then dropped it and held another.
“Bah!” She growled, tossing it to the side.
Ta’nik scowled at my slip again, lifting the hem between two fingers and thumbing it. Her hawk eyes seemed to consider the bloodstain almost thoughtfully, then she poked at my bandage again. I resisted the urge to make a sound, but rubbed the spot after she had dropped her hand. Tsking, she reached down into her boot and pulled a dagger from within.
I started to back away, but she simply grabbed my shoulder and with a quick swipe, sliced the slip from my shoulder to waist. I grabbed at it with my arms as it started to fall away, but she tucked the knife back into her boot and pushed my hands aside back. The last remnants of my garment crumpled at my feet, she took stock of me again. My cheeks had grown red hot, and I crossed my arms over myself and tucked my knees together. Ta’nik let out something which I thought might be a hearty laugh, but the sound just had my ears boiling too.
Dropping to one knee in front of me, she picked up one of the leathers from her pile, swatting my arms aside and holding it up to my torso. Her head tilted slightly, then she tossed it aside in favor of another fur, this one a soft tan. It was a long strip that seemed to be fastened together at the ends to make a large circle. She draped it over my shoulders, and it looped lazily down my front, hooked around the back of my neck. She studied it for a moment, pulling it to more fully cover my breasts, then nodded approvingly. I prayed to whatever god was listening that this wasn’t the only thing I was expected to wear. My ass and legs were still completely bare, and the fur stopped just above my navel.
Thankfully, she picked up another light colored leather and fur stitched piece and wrapped it twice about my waist. It fell generously to my knees in front and back, though it rode a little higher on the sides where the layers broke and overlapped. She tugged my elbow, pointing and drawing my attention to the strings at my hip. She pulled them, and I felt the fabric tighten against my skin. Then she deftly tied a knot, and leaned back again to look me over.
She was talking to me now, as she reached back into her pile. She pulled out some leather straps and showed them to me. I supposed she was probably explaining something to me, based upon her tone and gestures. But I wasn’t sure what she meant. She gestured to her own ample breasts, then traced a line with the straps just underneath. She jerked up and down, obviously to illustrate some point. Then she reached out, smacking my elbows until I lifted them up, and wound the straps about my torso. One she placed in the spot she had shown me on her own body, the other she placed just under my armpits, then crossed it down to my waist and wrapped it around my body again. She pointed to the buckles, and showed me how to fasten them.
Ta’nik sat back on her heels, looking pleased with herself. She studied me, turning me this way and that, then nodded. But as her eyes skimmed up to my face, she frowned, then clucked her tongue. Meaty fingers reached out and tugged at my hair.
“Ow!” I exclaimed, pushing her hand away boldly.
She laughed, and I felt more inclined to smile back at whatever humor had tickled her now. With a gentle shove, she sat me down on the ground before her, then leaned over me. Her fingers wove through my hair, firmly, but not painfully. Plaiting the hair on one side of my head. She finished it with a bone pin, then tugged on it again with a smirk.
I smiled back at her. “Thank you,” I said, and genuinely meant it.
She probably didn’t understand me, but nodded approvingly, so I hope she understood at least what I was trying to convey.
I nearly fell onto my back as she yanked my foot out from underneath me and held it up. I scrambled, trying to pull it back, but she exerted no effort in keeping it under her control. She frowned, poking at my toes. I almost couldn’t suppress the giggle at her touch, and wiggled my toes at her. She smirked, then dropped my foot, gesturing over my shoulder and saying something in her own tongue. Glancing back, I saw my own boots there and gathered her meaning. No new shoes for me.
She gathered up the remainder of her things as I stood and slipped on the boots. I suddenly realized that they were indeed my own boots, and wondered exactly how they had ended up back at the tent.
Ta’nik shouted something out the door, then dropped the flap and came over to me again, tucking her things all under one arm. She smiled down at me and plopped her giant hand on my head.
“L’ma shikoba, dol un’nik guut dai.” She told me, then pinched one of my nipples through the fur. “Ol’n mi’hik Unvar dil’nuer pusht tlaloc’kin.”
She laughed at my yelp, and squished one of her own breasts through her clothes, nodding. She poked at mine, then back at hers, grinning widely.
“Yeah yeah, I get it-” I told her, pushing away her fingers and growing pink- “You’ve got bigger breasts.”
She laughed again, then turned at the sound of the tent flap opening. Ta’nik nodded, looking proud, and bustled off, pushing aside Unvar to leave.
He smirked, his eyes following her as she exited, then looked back at me. He froze suddenly, and I thought his eyes widened a little. I shuffled my feet nervously, tucking one loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“... Do I look ok?” I asked, suddenly worried.
I tried to look down at myself. All the important bits seemed to be covered, though you could see a hint of the shape of my breasts around the edges of the fur both at my front and sides. It also seemed a little bold to have my skin showing from the nape of my neck to the bottom of my sternum, but the straps seemed firm enough to keep my breasts from popping out unexpectedly. My shoulders were bare, as was most of my back, but I felt the covering was not horribly indecent.
Still his reaction gave me pause, and I smoothed my hands over the furs on my stomach. He seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in, and shook his head.
“No… I mean-” He shook his head again- “-Yes, you look good. Look like Tlaloc!” Then he grinned, “Small, white Tlaloc. Missing teeth.” He tapped his own tusk to illustrate the point.
I laughed a little at that, not sure if the second part was very good. But I was sure he meant the first part as a compliment. I fiddled with the edge of the fur at my waist, twirling a loose piece between my thumbs.
“So now what?”
“Now we go.” He nodded, “Busy day. Much work.”
He grabbed his blood stained cloak from its hook, then pulled a smaller grey speckled fur from the pile. It had a small strap at the top, and he tossed it to me. The fur fit perfectly around my shoulders and upper back.
“Is cold,” He told me, “Come.”
I had to practically run across the tent not to lose him as he ducked out the door. The sunlight beyond blinded me briefly, and I blinked a few times. Unvar was already striding away, and I skipped to catch up to him. A few curious looks were shot my way, but for the most part the Tlaloc seemed unsurprised to have a human in their midst. Even one following around their chief, whom they each greeted respectfully.
“...Are there other humans here?” I asked as I considered the myriad of colors and shapes around me.
“Hmm?” He grunted, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
“Ah, Shikoba. Other Shikoba, like me.”
He snorted, raising one hand in salute to a passing man. “Not like you. None like you.” Then he nodded. “But yes. Few. Servants, and a workman. Maltoc keeps one.”
“Maltoc?” I echoed, and there was a tingle down my spine at his choice of words describing my fellow humans.
Unvar didn’t seem to notice my discomfort. He nodded in response, steering us around a rowdy crowd gathered about what appeared to be a blacksmith stall.
“Maltoc. He… what is word-” He grumbled, scratching his chin, “ah… Shaz’gul … he keeps sick. Helps hurts.”
“A healer?” I offered, skipping a few more steps to keep pace with him.
Unvar shrugged. “Shaz’gul, ta tlaloc.” He replied simply. “Shikoba helps Maltoc, and Maltoc keeps shikoba.”
I fell silent, chewing that over thoughtfully as we rounded a few more tents. Finally we came to a halt, and a loud greeting was offered to Unvar as he approached a small group of Tlaloc men. They saluted him with their chest beating greeting and hunched their heads. Then more than one clasped his shoulder or punched his arm. At first I watched with alarm, but the grins exchanged seemed passive enough. I noticed the other Tlaloc draping their arms around each other or touching various parts of their fellows’ bodies as they spoke. As if conversation required some form of touch at all times.
The words they exchanged were too quick and strange for me to begin to understand, so I waited quietly a few feet away. A few minutes later, he clasped the shoulder of one and gestured for me to follow him again.
We repeated this several times with varying clan members. Sometimes Unvar would be given something, sometimes he would just talk. Sometimes the Tlaloc would fully embrace him in bone shattering hugs, or they would pound a fist into his chest which would incite some shoving before it settled into the usual communication. Once or twice the words seemed to get heated, but it always deescalated with a drink and some arm clasping. At first, I tried to follow the exchanges. Perhaps learn some words or get a sense for what was being said. And I was impressed with the way Unvar changed his mannerisms depending on whom he was talking to. I could tell all the tlaloc we met with seemed to respect him greatly.
But after what felt like hours of following him around with nothing but sideways glances to acknowledge my presence, I was growing bored. The talking was too fast paced for me, and the meetings beyond my scope. ..
....
UPDATE: Part Seven HERE
#orc boyfriend#orcs#orc#monster boyfriend#exophilia#terato#romance#budding romance#slow burn#li'un ma shkio#OC
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For @inukag-week 2020!
A short and sweet follow-up to Hermit’s Haven, and this time Inuyasha encounters a different kind of visitor...
Rated T for Inuyasha’s swearing.
Hermit’s Dilemma
Inuyasha stared at the cub, trying to ignore the distinct sense of déjà vu.
The Ezo brown bears were pretty common around these parts, at least enough to be a minor nuisance during deer hunting season, but they were almost always adult males. The only time he had come this close to a cub was when he had followed the village fishermen to the waterfalls and a female and her cubs had joined their group, apparently using the men’s presence to shake off a hostile male bear. This time there was no mama bear, just a lone cub.
Said bear cub sat on his furry little haunches, peering up at the dog-eared man.
Wasn’t this the same place where he first spotted Hachi?
More importantly, what the hell was a bear cub doing all on his own, and so damn close to his house? Shouldn’t this scrawny little guy be in a cozy den with his mother, dozing off until spring?
Inuyasha looked around once more, ears flicking back. Nope, no other bears nearby. Perhaps the mother had gone out to scavenge for acorns one last time and had been struck by a vehicle, or wandered into some other residential area and met the business end of a rifle.
Well fuck-a-doodle-doo.
That was how Inuyasha found himself crossing the icy bridge with a bear cub in his arms, making his way to—
Wait a minute, there’s no way the dogs would stay calm if he showed up with a squirming bear cub. Maybe he could hand him off to Miroku, that guy probably knew more about bears. Crap, was it even legal to bring a bear cub indoors? His residence was technically a shelter, would his non-profit get in trouble? It’s not like he was going to keep the cub. He should head to the agricultural school ASAP, there had to be staff members with experience in handling wild animals.
He froze mid-step and the curious cub glanced up at him.
Shit, shit, shit, he couldn’t go to the school now, Kagome was picking up her mother and grandfather from the airport and she had made him promise, multiple times, that he would be in the village to greet them when they arrived.
He would stay put, he had assured her. He knew how important this was for her, considering she hadn’t gone back to Tokyo for Christmas. He wasn’t gonna disappear like a coward. Not like he cared if city folks visited his village. It’s not like they were the same people that drove him and his mother out of their old apartment. It wasn’t a problem.
Really.
The bear cub let loose a shrill squeal and Inuyasha nearly flung the cub up into the air before stopping himself. Instead, he held the cub in front of him like a ticking bomb.
Did he need milk? Could bears drink cow milk? Maybe he was cold. Did he need to put him in his jacket? Maybe the cub was scared. Should he swaddle him? Kagome did say he had a knack for swaddling the dogs. The chihuahuas usually liked it. And once the bear quieted down he could hide him in a spare room until morning. Right, this would work. Absolutely. Totally.
Mind made up, he went up to Miroku’s house and slid the kitchen window open.
“Yo, keep an eye on the dogs, will ya?” Inuyasha shouted, making sure to keep the bear out of sight. If what he was doing was against the law, he wasn’t going to drag anyone else into legal trouble.
Miroku poked his head into the hallway. “Gotcha! And for goodness’s sake, use the front door.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Inuyasha grumbled. They both knew that wasn’t going to happen. Miroku could just as easily install a lock on the old window, but Inuyasha had a feeling he never would. Miroku had been insistent on not altering the original design of the house.
That was...nice.
“Hi Inuyasha!” Sango called from somewhere down the hall. “We made yakidango earlier. Do you want some?”
“Uh...maybe later. Thanks.” Inuyasha gingerly closed the window and stepped back.
Yeah. That was nice too. The elderly villagers used to offer him food. They were being neighborly, or so they claimed.
Not that Sango was a neighbor. Yet. He knew she was looking at a couple of houses. That fox demon from the agricultural school, Shippo, was probably going to move in soon.
The bear squealed again, prompting Inuyasha to quicken his pace.
Kagome’s front door was unlocked, as usual. He had told her to start locking the door but no one here really worried about security, what with him and all the dogs running around. She had at least promised to lock the door...after making a key for him.
Fuck, he was not blushing at the thought.
He stomped into the living room and rummaged through her dresser until he pulled out a fluffy pink blanket.
Wrap the blanket around like this, tuck the paws in here, rub his head like so, pat his tummy to soothe him, and voila. Inuyasha examined his handiwork with a satisfied grin, which wilted a little at the realization that he was too adept at this.
The bear peeked up over the edge of the blanket and eyed him, as if waiting for something. Inuyasha hoped he wasn’t expecting a lullaby. Then again, Kagome did say music can calm down dogs in stressful situations.
He reached for Kagome’s iPad and scrolled for a while. Hmm, this would do.
Kuma Sanbiki
He sat down cross-legged on the floor and held the bear burrito close to his chest, mumbling the same lyrics that he used to sing with his mother.
Kuma sanbiki issho ni sunde,
Papa kuma, mama kuma, akachan kuma—
“Eep!”
Inuyasha froze and slowly looked up. Kagome was doubled over, shoulders trembling, hands covering her face. He would’ve thought she was in pain if he didn’t catch a delighted giggle. A woman who was clearly her mother stood by the entrance, one hand resting on a suitcase and the other over her heart, watching the bundle in his arms with dewy eyes.
“What’s all this then?” An elderly man walked in, kicking his shoes off in a huff. “Don’t just stand there, we need to—young man, you’re holding the baby wrong.”
Inuyasha could do nothing but sit still and watch the elderly man saunter up to him.
“Now see here, if you want to calm a young one—that’s a bear.”
“What?” the woman, henceforth known as Mama Higurashi in his head, said.
“A bear?” Kagome chortled, her face still red.
Busted.
“Err…” Three sets of eyes were on him. “I found a bear cub,” he finally confessed.
Word got out pretty quickly, mainly because Kagome ran out to get Miroku’s expensive camera equipment “for that money shot,” and both Miroku and Sango came over to greet the guests as well as take a look at the bear cub.
“I can’t believe you swaddled a bear!” Kagome giggled, hours after the fact.
“Bear cub,” Inuyasha corrected, his forehead firmly planted on his kotatsu. It had been decided that Sango would watch the cub for the night and bring the bear to the school in the morning, because apparently the school’s resident bear expert was her uncle.
Stupid, Inuyasha thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he should’ve just brought the cub to Sango in the first place. Stupid.
“I can’t wait to get those pictures on my laptop.”
He lifted his head to glare at her. “So you can laugh at me some more?”
“I wasn’t laughing at you!”
“Uh-huh.”
She scooted over to snuggle up to him, ignoring his sputtering protests and unflattering comparisons to Pen-Pen. “I was losing it because it was too adorable for my little ol’ heart. You’re gonna make a girl faint with your paternal instincts.”
He tried really, really hard not to let her words, or the way she was twirling his forelock, affect him. “Yeah, sure. OK.”
“But you know,” she said with a coy smile. “I do have a confession.”
Inuyasha glanced at her suspiciously.
“I would’ve preferred seeing you holding a baby. My baby.”
He didn’t remember much after that because his brain short-circuited and he went on autopilot.
(Kagome inwardly cursed. Asking Miroku on how to confess like a wrecking ball had not been one of her best ideas.)
The bombshells didn’t end there, though. The next morning, after joining the Higurashi family for breakfast, he was helping Mama Higurashi wash the dishes when she nonchalantly proved just how much her daughter took after her.
“You should’ve joined us for dinner last night. Grandpa and I had a question and Kagome had no idea what the answer was.”
“Oh,” was Inuyasha’s reply.
“I’m sure it’s something my daughter has been wondering about for a while.”
“Ah.” Not freaking out, Inuyasha mentally repeated over and over again.
“And, I must admit, I would like to know as well. This is a good time to ask, don’t you think? No need to be modest when you answer.”
“Umm…” Sirens blared in his head.
“Which do you prefer,” she said airily, “small weddings or big weddings?”
~*~
AN: The Higurashi women sure love to drop bombshells. Inuyasha’s soul temporarily left the mortal plane of existence. He’ll be fine.
For the children’s song I had to decide between what Inuyasha ultimately chose or this one: Mori no Kuma-san. I’m more familiar with the latter but I figured the song about the bear family was more appropriate for the situation.
Also, Inuyasha waiting for Kagome is essentially the Patrick waiting for SpongeBob scene. Oh Inuyasha, you poor, hopeless puppy.
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Five Favorite Works from the past year
tagged by @iam93percentstardust @crownofstardustandbone @omg-just-peachy thanks friends!!!
The rules of this circulating challenge are as follows: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!
a catalog of non-definitive acts (19k)
Tony's seen the way Steve watches him, trails after him just for a moment, then catches himself. Let it never be said that Tony Stark doesn’t pay attention. At least, when it matters.
*
Or, Steve, Tony, and the emotional fallout of keeping secrets. (Set in some nebulous time pre-AoU.)
i poured my whole heart into writing this fic - there’s so much yearning and self-doubt and denial that made writing it feel, in a strange way, confessional. in the sense that we’ve all felt that, at some point: second-guessed what we were doing and wanted nothing more to crack someone’s brain open just to see what they were really thinking because words fail us.
this was also the first long fic that i wrote from Tony’s POV that was canon-compliant and also included a lot more introspection. anyway. i’m really, really proud of this fic and i honestly think it’s one of my best written ones!
finally, then once more (7k)
a college au and the four times tony asks steve to fuck him, and the one time steve finally does
awhjkdhks this fic was so much fun to write, but i also did NOT expect it to end up this long. looking back at it i think this fic is shows a lot about my thought process, which is: it has to be believable. LMAO. like, it felt like cheating, to jump straight to steve “taking” tony’s virginity, without going into how tony was like before it. especially because this isn’t a trope that’s usually explored in mcu fandom. so, yeah?? i write myself into corners and scream YEAH BUT WHY DID THIS HAPPEN and then i yell and write some more
(also this is my first “five times” fic, which was, surprisingly, a LOT of fun.)
accidents never happen when a room is empty (remix) (5k)
Remix of @navaan’s Love Me (Not) - Steve and Tony fall into a friends with benefits relationship and Tony is completely okay with that. Right?
This is my take, with Steve's POV.
y’all. Y’ALL. when i saw that i was assigned to remix navaan’s fic i yelled, because !!!!! THEY HAVE SUCH GOOD FICS LMAO anyway this was a really interesting fic to remix because it was very much in tony’s head, and him just falling into this pattern with steve of sleeping together and not talking about it. i liked the idea of steve thinking he has a read on tony, and also of steve just being the kind of person who, despite everything, is afraid.
also i think writing this fic was partially what led to me writing “a catalog of non-definitive acts.” or maybe i was just going through a phase of misunderstanding and miscommunication IRL. who knows!
your pillow feels so soft now (but still you must advance) (5k)
When Bruce is 13, he decides to go to boarding school. It's an opportunity for him to learn about other people, and how to interact with them.
Bruce has the misfortune of meeting Tony Stark upon his arrival in Roxbury. Bruce is moving into his room, and Tony opens the door of his room to watch. He looks a bit younger than Bruce, hair wild and eyes bright. Bruce has never seen a boy like him before—handsome and confident.
Bruce doesn’t like it.
this fic was so SELF-INDULGENT AND FUN AND I LOVE BRUCE WAYNE AND TONY STARK SO GOD DAMN MUCH. i think this fic also took root as i was writing “a catalog of non-definitive acts” (um? holy shit??). while i was writing that fic i was trying to think of who the interloper could be--i didn’t think Ty (aka the universal villain of stony fandom lmao) would be a good choice, because i didn’t want to make tony feel worse, and then... i remembered... bruce. not that i could ever forget bruce wayne, my favorite comic book superhero of all time (OF ALL TIME!!!), but i was also a bit hesitant to write him just because i know so much about him and i was afraid to get the characterization wrong. but people liked him (and some people wanted more of him & tony), and well. a few months later this fic (and its sequel) were born.
the mind-body problem (14k, WIP)
Steve is a reporter for the New York Bulletin, and one day he's assigned a story that might be just above his pay grade. To find out the truth, he's got to speak to the man implicated: Tony Stark.
A canon-divergent fic where Steve is not captain america, but Tony is still Tony Stark. Set around the same time as Iron Man 1.
I’M PROUD OF THIS FIC EVEN IF IT ISN’T DONE because i experimented with new formats (texts! emails! switching POVs!) and was really happy with the result. i’m... still trying to write it. i don’t know. eep. someone help. (jk!!! half!!!)
Tagging @hundredthousands @blossomsinthemist @lazywriter7 @nostalgicatsea @ishipallthings @nethandrake @starksnack @talktonytome and whoever else wants to do it! (just say i tagged you!!)
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Curiosity Killed the Cat - Wizardess Heart Fanfic
Pairing: Vain x female
Genre: Smutty smut
Words: 5969
A/N: This is a response to a request I got far too long ago. I hope it satisfies!!
Read here or on Ao3.
She sighed as she flopped back on the grass, staring up at the afternoon sky spattered with drifts of white clouds. It was a rare moment the three girls had seized to relax together in the academy courtyard, just for a little while, but listening to Liz babble on about her boyfriend, and Amelia fawning over falling in love, was not helping her mood. Love was not what she was craving then and there, but perhaps something a little more raw, more intimate, more risqué.
‘What’s the matter, hun?’ Amelia’s head popped into her view, leaning over to ask her the question.
She just gave another sigh and averted her eyes. ‘I don’t know,’ she murmured. ‘I just feel…’ Horny? Bored? Unsatisfied? In desperate need of a good hard bang? She searched her mind for the right word, but eventually settled on something a little more tame in the presence of her sometimes frustratingly prudish friends, ‘restless.’
‘Restless?’ Liz repeated. ‘In what way?’
Of course Liz would probe for more information. Liz was the main reason she held back her other choice words. If it had only been Amelia with her, she would’ve just admitted she was kinda horny and needed someone to fuck her brains out, but Liz would be horrified if she said that. She explained as politely as possible, ‘like I wanna see somebody. See a guy.’
‘Oh, a guy hey?!’ Amelia squealed with delight. Any mention of a boy and the girl lit up like a Christmas tree, eager to talk about any hot guys she knew. ‘Anyone in particular?’
She gave it a little thought, wondering who could possibly be the one she wanted to satisfy her right now. There was Ted, he was strong, silent, sexy. She loved the way his muscles flexed under his uniform, or even more so when he was ambling around shirtless sunning himself like the proud cat he was. Or there was that guy from the ministry, the one who loved teasing Klaus, Albert something-or-other. He was such a flirt, in a cheeky, gentlemanly way, and she wondered if he would live up to her expectations of him. Or there was Vain, he was so dark and mysterious. And gorgeous. She often caught herself fantasising about being cornered by him, trapped like a lamb led to slaughter. Would he be just as domineering, just as cunning and sneaky if he were trying to get her into bed? Just thinking about him made a tingle run through her body.
‘No,’ she answered, despite it being an obvious lie. ‘No one in particular.’
‘Really?’ Amelia asked, not fooled by her futile attempts to cover up her pathetic deception.
‘Really,’ she asserted. She just didn’t want to go into detail about all the guys she took a fancy to. Talking about how badly she wanted them wasn’t going to help her situation. All she wanted was a crazy, sexy, hot, one night stand. That would be enough. She voiced her thoughts out loud, asking her friends, ‘do you ever get the feeling like you just wanna go a bit wild? Do something crazy and have some fun?’
‘Wild?’ Liz repeated.
‘Crazy?’ Amelia questioned.
‘I don’t think so.’
‘All the time!’
Both girls answered at the same time, Liz giving her typical reserved response and Amelia’s face lighting up at the prospect of wild, crazy fun. She smiled at Amelia and murmured, ‘At least it’s not just me.’
Silence fell between them again as she gazed up at the sky. Where would she even find someone to satisfy her the way she needed? It was stupid to even think about it, let alone want it. It was never going to happen. She laughed at herself under her breath and murmured, ‘it sounds silly right?’
‘Not at all,’ Amelia objected. ‘If you want to have fun and do something wild and crazy, go for it.’
‘Just make sure you don’t get hurt,’ Liz added. ‘Or anyone else for that matter.’
She grinned up at Liz, forever looking out for other people’s safety and well being. ‘Of course not,’ she said with a patronising smile.
Wild and crazy fun…
The thoughts weren’t going to leave her. At least not until they were satisfied, or she found something new to occupy her mind. Laying around with the girls wasn’t helping anything though, and she needed some space to clear her head.
‘I think I’m gonna go for a walk,’ she announced as she jumped to her feet. ‘I just need to clear my head.’
‘Okay,’ Liz said with a wave. ‘We’ll see you back at the dorms for dinner.’
And with that she set off, back into the academy. Perhaps a stroll around the halls would do her some good.
Ten minutes of aimless ambling about the academy halls later, she still hadn’t found anything to reoccupy her mind, or anyone to satisfy her. Classes had finished for the day, and most people were back at the dorms by now, only a few stragglers heading to or from the library. She hardly even knew anyone she passed by, let alone would have the confidence to even talk to them. It was a hopeless cause.
She decided to call it a day, head back to the dorms and take a long hot shower, or maybe a very cold one. If she took a little nap before dinner maybe she could sleep away how she was feeling and get through the rest of the night without too much stress. As she wandered through the hallways though the sound of a door closing up ahead caught her attention.
Vain!
She stopped in her tracks, spotting the dangerously beautiful man up ahead. He had just left the Headmaster’s office and was strolling away from her, down the hall.
It was like it was meant to be.
She froze up, unsure of what to do. Could she approach him? Talk to him? Flirt with him? Even if she could manage all of that without making a complete ass of herself, what was the likelihood that she would ever get him in a bed? It was slim-to-none, but she couldn’t help her hope.
I wonder what he’s even doing here?
She followed him (he was heading the same direction she was after all), trying to think of something to say to him. Could she just ask what he was doing here? He looked a little suspicious, and he had come from the Headmaster’s office. Was he snooping about again? He rounded the corner ahead of her and she hurried a little faster to try to catch up. Even if she could only look at him a little longer, it was better than nothing.
She rounded the corner, expecting to see him walking away down the hallway, towards the academy front gate, but he wasn’t there. She only caught a glimpse of the tail of his jacket as it swished around the corner of the stairwell, heading up to the second floor.
What is he going up there for?
She hesitated a moment, wondering if she should follow him, but it was only an instant until her body took control and she started after him again. It was highly unlikely that she would so much as speak to him, but if following him meant she was able to watch him a little more, then why not. She dashed up the stairs, keeping her footfalls as quiet as possible.
At the top of the stairway she glanced left and right. There he was, down to the left. She followed him further, keeping her distance, and watched as he turned up the next set of stairs.
But that leads to the haunted hallway.
Notorious amongst academy students and faculty, the haunted hallway was a row of seldom used classrooms, a place where magic always seems to go astray, and some people had heard strange noises or found themselves inside a locked room. At this hour, there was no doubt it would be deserted, and Vain had no business snooping around up there.
So she followed.
She scurried up the steps again, hoping she wouldn’t lose him at the top. He was moving fast, and going somewhere he had no need to go. Something was very suspicious. She glanced around at the top of the hall, only to catch a glimpse of him, down the far end to the right, rounding the corner away from her.
She rushed after him, eager not to fall behind. She stopped at the corner, taking a peek around to check where he was going, and watched as he slipped into one of the classrooms, leaving the door wide open.
What on earth is he up to?
She followed a little slower, knowing that inside the classroom there was no where for him to go. Her tiptoes were silent in the eerily quiet hall and she held her breath, although possibly not intentionally. She stopped by the doorway and peeked around it, into the classroom.
He wasn’t there.
What the…? Where is he?
She stepped into the doorway, to see into the room a little further. He wasn’t in there at all.
Perhaps these classrooms really are haunted?
She walked slowly into the room, looking up and down to try to spot any sign or clue of where he could be.
Two hands grabbed her arms from behind.
‘Eep!’
She seized up and froze, her heart leaping up into her throat. The hand on her left arm bore familiar metal talons and the one on the right a black leather glove. She spun around but he just as quickly replaced his hands on her arms, keeping her fixed to the spot.
‘Well, well, what do we have here?’
He stood before her, silken rouge hair sweeping down over his right eye, conniving smirk tilting one corner of his mouth. His golden eye burned into her, as mesmerising as a roaring fire, and twice as dangerous. His hands were firm on her upper arms, holding her in place, no where to run, no where to hide.
But I’m not the one who was snooping around!
‘What are you doing?’ she demanded. ‘You scared me!’
‘Scared?’ he repeated, amused by her defiance. He taunted, an edge of a dark whisper in his tone, ‘you weren’t up to anything naughty now were you? No following anyone you shouldn’t be?’
‘I could ask the same of you!’ she retorted. ‘What were you doing in the headmaster’s office?’ She pushed her forearms out against his inner arms, trying to break free of him.
‘That’s none of your concern.’ He kept his grip tight despite her resistance. What was he even doing being so close to her?
‘I am concerned,’ she snapped. She pushed her arms against his again and added, ‘And you can let me go already.’
His hands slipped from her shoulders, but he didn’t move back at all, less than a foot between them. She stood her ground, not wanting to reveal that she was intimidated by his presence. She could hold her own as long as he could.
His smirk widened. ‘As if there’s anything you could do to stop me anyway,’ he mocked, his golden eye sparkling with a challenge.
His arrogance was enraging. But his confidence was so alluring. She was filled with conflict, so utterly despising how cocky and rude he was, yet still she found herself insatiably attracted to him. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? And cold? ‘Whatever you’re up to, we’ll find out.’
He took two steps backwards, keeping his golden eye trained on her, and reached behind him to close the door. Once it was securely closed he asked, a slyness in his voice, ‘and just how are you going to do that?’
Her mind went blank. She was captivated by his strong gaze, intimidated by being alone with him, and completely perplexed as to why he wanted to be alone with her.
Does he…? Could he…?
There was only one logical conclusion her mind could come to. Her biggest hurdle would be finding the confidence to go through with it. Still uncertain if he was really interested in her, she asked in the best sultry tone she could summon, ‘I’m sure there’s something I can do to get you to talk.’
A smirk spread across Vain’s face, narrowing his eyes and curling his lips. ‘Come here and try it then,’ he commanded.
She hesitated, only for a moment, wondering what on earth had blessed her that day to find herself in this situation, but she couldn’t second guess it. Here he was, asking, practically demanding that she do what she wanted with him. She crossed the two steps to move in closer to him and leant up on her toes to press her lips to his.
Oh god, oh god, oh god, what am I doing? I’m kissing Vain!
Her hands found their way to his waist, one placing on his side, the other clutching the hem of his jacket to leverage herself closer. She didn’t really need to try though, as Vain leant forward, his lips capturing hers as he placed his hands on her hips.
He was somewhat taller than her, but not so much that she had to strain her neck to reach him. Just enough she could enjoy the power exchange that flowed between them. She squeezed her hand on his waist, feeling the strength of his muscles beneath her fingers, stroking her thumb back and forth. She relished in the weight of his hands on her hips, holding her, drawing her in to him.
The kiss broke for air, momentarily, before he leant in again, this time with slightly parted lips, soft and almost wet. Her body clenched and her heart skipped a beat as the kiss softened into a press of lips. He liked it. He wanted more.
She returned his advance, kissing him again with open lips and slipping her tongue to meet his. She briefly swept her tongue past his before the kiss softened again. Her body ached to be touched, to be held, to be wanted, but just how far was this going to go? Was she really just after information?
Definitely not.
She leant in to him harder, forcing him backwards, pushing him against the back of the door. Her body pressed against his, her chest, her stomach, her hips, all melting against him. Beneath the belts on his hips was a firm bulge pressing into her abdomen.
Is he really that into me?
She drew her hips back an inch and slowly wiggled them closer. A soft moan rumbled from his lips against hers. She kissed him again, a little harder, her tongue dancing with his between their parted lips for a moment.
Oh god, how far is this going to go?
Her heart hammered away in her chest, her mind a buzzing blur. She drew away from him, opening her eyes to look up at him. She could tease him again, or she could sweet talk. She opted to tease, asking coyly in reference to their previous conversation, ‘how about now?’
He just smirked at her again, a glimpse of his teeth and a pointy canine between his smug lips. ‘Still not talking, sweetheart.’
Clearly, he wanted more than just a kiss. That suited her just fine though, happy to see where this thing was going. She returned his smug grin and murmured, ‘I’ll just have to try harder,’ before leaning up to kiss him again.
A heat built between them, tongues dancing between their mouths for brief moments between deep kisses and breaks for air. She dropped her hand from his jacket and lifted her hand from his waist to tug at the red cord that held his jacket to his chest. She pulled on the tail of the cord, smoothly untying the bow, then nudged his jacket back off his right shoulder. He moved forward off the door momentarily, allowing the heavy thing to drop off his shoulder and down his arm, before swiftly replacing his hands on her hips.
It wasn’t enough. Her body was pulsating with excitement, she wanted more, needed the next step. He took hold of the zip that ran from his collar down to the side of his shirt and pulled it down. She had to lean back off of him to draw it down and bare his chest, but as soon as she could, she leant in to him again, pressing up against him. The zip came undone and his shirt split apart, letting her slide her hands in underneath the thick fabric, over his firm stomach and up his sides. She smiled in to the kiss, fully aware of how long she had wanted to touch him like this, kiss him like this, and finally, her wish was coming true. The kiss deepened, her mouth locking over his as he returned her passion, pushing back to bear over her. It still wasn’t enough.
She slipped her hands out of his shirt and moved her hips off his, enough for her hands to find their way to the belts strapped around his hips. She ran her fingers over the smooth leather until she found a buckle and fiddled with it until it came apart. The second buckle just below the first was much easier, knowing which way to pull and slacken the belt. The next problem was his pants. She had no idea how they opened. She tucked her fingers into the waistband of the dark leather pants and ran the back of her nails across the smooth flesh of his stomach, hoping he would take the hint.
Vain obliged, the comforting weight of his hands leaving her hips and slipping between them. She kept gliding her nails back and forth around his hips as he swiftly undid his pants. She felt the soft leather slacken and she took hold of the waist band to push them down. Their kiss broke as she drew away, her eyes fluttering open to look up at him. At that distance, she could glimpse the icy blue eye hiding behind his rouge hair. She felt him lift himself free of his pants and gave him as sultry smirk before lowering herself to her knees in front of him.
Her body tightened and a slick warmth spread between her legs at the sight of his cock hovering before her, long, thick, and hard with a slight upward curve. She was suitably impressed that he was just as big as she had hoped, had imagined. She wrapped her hand around his length and slid the head of his cock between her lips as her eyes fell closed.
This was what she wanted. What she needed. She ran her hand up and down the length of his shaft as she slid the soft, wet inside of her lips back and forth over his head, her tongue rolling around and lapping at the tip of his cock like a lollipop.
His hands found her hair, the tips of his metal claws stroking through her tresses, while his right hand cupped the back of her head, gently coaxing her closer to him. As her lips slicked up the head of his cock she slowly worked her further down over him. Her tongue stroked the firm underside of his cock and his head pushed farther back into her mouth.
‘That’s it,’ he sighed. ‘Good girl.’
She looked up to his eyes to see him smirking down at her. From her vantage point she has a wonderful view of the firm ridges in his abs, the flat planes of his pecs, and the strikingly beautiful angles in his face, his jaw, his lips, his eyes. This was everything she wanted, the naughty school girl in an abandoned classroom, giving the devilish bad boy a blow job as he whispered to her how amazing it felt.
She worked harder, faster, wetter. Saliva slipped from her lips, slicking him up as she stroked her hand back and forth and pushed her head as fast as she could, as deep as she could. She could feel him growing harder under her grip, so clearly she had to be doing something right. Over the thick wet sounds coming from her mouth she could hear his heavy breathing and soft sighs, and every so often his fingers tensed on the back of her head.
Her avid desire to do something crazy and wild had been all but sated, but she could feel another desire building lower in her stomach. A tingle rippled through her followed by another little seep of slick warmth between her legs. She slipped her free left hand between her knees, up underneath her skirt and gave the lightest stroke over her panties, causing another wave of tingles to shudder out of her. Aroused was an understatement. She glanced up at Vain, wondering if he saw what she was doing, and if he might take the hint.
‘You want more, little kitten?’
She drew back off his cock, and nodded eagerly with a breathy, ‘yes please.’
He took hold of her arms and lifted her with ease to her feet. With a glance over her shoulder and a firm grip still on her arms, he guided her backwards. She tried hard not to stumble or trip as he pushed her back across the classroom until her ass butted up against a desk and he leant in to kiss her again.
He released her arms, his hips pressing against hers holding her in place, and wrapped his arms around behind her. She wondered for a moment what he was doing, his hands fiddling behind her back, but it soon became obvious when he returned his ungloved right hand and slid it between them again, his hips lifting off hers and hand slipping up her skirt. His fingertips traced over her lips, tickling and teasing the same way she had done to herself. This time though the tingles that ran through her were much stronger, melting under his touch. She needed more. She kissed him harder, wrapped her hands around the back of his neck and into the long thick strands of his hair, pulling him closer to her.
His fingers pulled at the side of her panties between her thighs, nudging the thin strip of fabric to the side to slip his fingers between her warm, wet lips.
‘Oh,’ he murmured, drawing back from the kiss. ‘The little kitten’s gotten herself all worked up.’
She couldn’t help her glance downward and a small cringe.
He stroked a circle between her lips before sliding the tip of his finger inside of her. His fingers were cooler than the warmth between her legs, a strange rigidity that felt so good, but not quite right inside her. She pulled him in to kiss her again as he slid his finger further in and back out of her, slowly, gently.
He clawed hand found her thigh, slipping up under her skirt to the hem of her panties. He gently removed his right hand from between her legs, to take hold of the other side of her panties and pushes them down. She had to lift her hips off the edge of the desk and the fabric slipped over her ass to the top of her thighs, where Vain let them go to drop to the floor.
‘Sit back,’ he instructed.
She complied, sitting on the edge of the desk, her short skirt tucked underneath her ass. Vain dropped to one knee and grabbed her legs, hoisting them off the ground as she gave a little yip and steadied herself with her hands behind her. He lifted her legs onto his shoulders, knees wide, her thighs either side of his cheeks and leant in to press his open mouth against her warm, wet lips.
‘Oh god!’
A jolt of pleasure leapt through her, her stomach curling up on herself and one hand diving into his hair. His lips locked over her clit, flat tongue stroking the raised bundle under her skin. Her breath hitched as he sucked and licked, the warm, wet, soft sensation making her legs tremble and her body clench.
‘Vain!’ she gasped.
He didn’t relent. He wrapped his hands around her thighs, drawing her closer, trapping her under his grip. Tension was building quickly in her lower abdomen, deep inside her core. His deep kiss on her clit made her body tremble and her legs shake. The ecstasy threatened to burst out from her at any second.
No! Too soon!
She clung to his hair, feebly tried to push his head back, but it was futile. Her thighs clenched around his head, her stomach twisted into knots, and stifled whimpers slipped out of her lips hanging agape.
‘Mm please!’ Her pitch grew higher as she climbed towards precipice, his smooth tongue dragging her closer with every soft wet stroke. Her toes curled and her head rolled back as she tumbled into the chasm of her orgasm.
‘God yes!’ she moaned. Her legs, her whole body, trembled and waves of ecstasy rolled through her. Vain didn’t move away, continuing to lick and suck, drawing out every whimper and moan from her, pushing her to ride through every course of pleasure until it became too intense to bear.
‘Stop, please stop!’ she panted. She pushed harder against his head, and this time he yielded, releasing his lip lock from between her legs.
Her legs dropped of his shoulders as he stood upright, stepping in close to the desk. He slipped one hand around the back of her waist, the other wrapped around his cock stroking slowly. ‘Are you ready?’ he whispered as he pulled her forward with his hand on her lower back.
There were no breaks. No chance to catch her breath. She had somehow managed to shift back on the desk, so she wiggled forward and Vain pressed his stiff cock downwards, his head rubbing between her lips. ‘God,’ she panted. She slid her hands over his shoulders, underneath his shirt, and locked her legs around his hips. Trying hard not to grip too tight, she tilted her hips forward to allow him. She watched, look down between their bodies, as he pressed his hips forward, his hand drawing away as his cock sunk inside of her.
‘Oh god!’ she moaned.
Her body was still spasming internally, and despite how wet she was, it was a bit of a stretch for him to slide his thick cock into her. She could feel her body clenching and convulsing as he pushed his hips deeper between her legs, until she was filled entirely and there was nowhere further for him to go.
She looked up to his eyes, happy to find his smug little smirk had dropped, to be replaced with an intense heat and desire. He leant forward to kiss her, the taste of her own body clinging to his lips, before he gently drew out and pushed inside her once more.
It was an ache that felt so incredibly good she didn’t have words. Unlike the finger he slipped inside her before, his cock was the perfect size and shape, stroking every inch of her and pushing into the end of her core. She kissed him, hard, clinging on to his lips like a lifeline.
Her body rocked on the desk, tilting back and forth with the push and pull of his hips. It felt so amazingly good, a heat running through her from between her legs all the way through her chest. She kissed him again, her tongue swirling around his as he slid his free hand around the side of her neck, drawing her closer to him. She dropped one hand from his shoulder to slip it around his waist, pulling herself to the very edge of the desk and widening her hips to allow him better access.
His hips rocked a little faster, pushed a little harder, thrust a little deeper. Each stroke of his cock hit deep inside her, an almost painful ache that pulled a whimper from her lips. The faster and harder he went, the more the desk rocked back and forth with her, and she prayed that no one on the floor below would be able to hear them. Vain adjusted him rhythm, short jolts deep inside her that made less movement for the desk, and somehow managed to strike a nerve that pushed every thought from her mind except for her thoughts of him.
He didn’t tire, didn’t stop, didn’t come. He kept his kiss locked over her lips, holding her face up to his, and fucked her harder, pounding into her faster and stronger. Between kisses and gasps for air she couldn’t help an occasional yelp or blurted obscenity. Her mind grew heavy, her body reaching levels of pleasure she felt terrified of ever letting go of.
But eventually he slowed, quickly coming to a stop as their kiss gently broke. ‘Get down,’ he instructed as he drew out of her and she relaxed her legs.
Everything between her legs ached. Her insides roared with a dull agony that felt very similar to the pain after a long workout. But it was more than worth it, and it wasn’t over yet.
‘Bend over the desk,’ Vain commanded.
She did as instructed, turning around in the small space between him and the desk, and leant forward onto her forearms. Vain’s hands ran up over her ass, lifting her skirt, the claws on his left hand grazing her skin. He kept his left hand on her lower back while his right took hold of his cock again and pressed it down, guiding it between her soaking wet lips and pushing his way inside of her.
‘Oh god!’ she gasped. This was a much different pleasure, a different angle, a new strain on her opening that felt somewhat sharper and she might regret the next day but right then, she didn’t care. He pushed deeper inside her until his hips met her ass and his hands took hold of the round flesh of her hips. Her fingers slipped over the edge of the desk, gripping tight as he drew back and pushed back into her, each stroke a little faster, a little harder.
With no kiss on her lips, her yelps and moans came out louder and faster as he pounded in to her. She pressed her mouth to her forearm, desperate to stop herself and the cries of ecstasy being torn from her. He held nothing back, fucking her hard enough to make the edge of the desk lift with her hips, and in the brief moments of quiet she could force from herself she could hear his heavy breathing, a tense pant coming from him behind her. She glanced back over her shoulder to see the strain on his face, in his eyes, as he gazed down at her ass and his cock sinking in to her. He glanced up to catch her gaze, the sly smirk almost returning to his panting lips.
He leant forward, his right forearm leaning on the desk beside her as his left hand wove into her hair and grabbed a fistful to pull her head back and to the side, twisting her body around. With the height difference between them it was not difficult for him to lean over her and capture her lips in another deep kiss while continuing to thrust his hips against her ass. It created a different tension though, a different angle that was verging on painful for her, but she would never complain. She was just so utterly content to be his little play thing.
She could feel the tension rising in him, the strain in his body and movements as he grew closer to orgasm. She kissed him deeper, her tongue playing with his momentarily before breaking away. ‘Please,’ she whispered against his lips. ‘Please come for me!’ His hips faltered a moment but he kept pushing harder and deeper as he kissed her again. ‘Please!’
A groan tore from his throat as his head bowed. He quickly pulled out of her, his cock nestling between her ass cheeks and his abs. ‘Fuck!’ he hissed as both fists clenched and his body shook, hot sticky cum shooting between their bodies, over her ass.
His body relaxed, his heavy panting turning into deep breaths. She waited patiently, revelling in the ache of her body, and how utterly content and satisfied she felt until he opened his eyes to look at her, the icy blue and fiery gold captivating her. He leant in to kiss her once more, gently, briefly, before pulling away to stand up off her.
‘Stay there,’ he instructed. She didn’t have much choice anyway, if she stood up, her skirt would land in the puddle of mess on her backside. He crossed back over to his jacket by the door and pulled something out of a pocket.
She waited patiently, as he had told her. After a moment, he returned, standing behind her again and wiped up the mess on her backside with a handkerchief. A sticky residue was left behind, one that would no doubt need a shower to remove, but for the most part she was cleaned up, so she stood up straight again.
Vain tossed the handkerchief into a nearby waste paper basket and then redressed himself. She absentmindedly pulled on her panties and adjusted her uniform back into it’s correct place while watching as he zipped up his shirt, pulled up his pants, buckled his belts and finally pulled his jacket on again. The only thing he was missing was the glove he’d taken off his right hand, which was still on the desk behind her.
She picked it up and crossed over to him, holding it close to her chest. He gave a sly smile as he took hold of the glove, but she didn’t let it go. She still needed to know what he was doing in the academy in the first place, so she asked, ‘are you gonna tell me now what you were up to?’
‘Hm?’ he queried, having clearly forgotten all about their prior conversation. ‘Oh you mean in the headmaster’s office?’ He gave a small chuckle to himself and yoinked the glove from her hand. ‘He wanted to talk to me about enrolling Hugo in the academy,’ he answered as he pulled his glove on once more.
She felt dumbfounded. ‘Is that it?’ she asked. ‘Why couldn’t you just say that in the first place?’
He smirked at her once more. ‘Why would I?’ he taunted. ‘It was so much more fun leading a little kitten astray.’
He leant forward, curling a finger underneath her chin to tilt her head up and kissed her once more, gently, briefly. When she opened her eyes, he was gone.
What? He disappeared!
She looked around the room, spinning in a full circle, but he was no where to be seen.
That sneaky bastard!
His last words stuck in her mind. Little kitten he called her, and she didn’t mind the nickname at all. Leading her astray. He hadn’t done much to lead her, other than bringing her to the privacy of the room, but clearly it had been his intention, bringing her up here, grabbing her, closing the door. Despite however annoyed she felt that he had literally up and vanished, she couldn’t help the swell in her ego, knowing that he had wanted her just as much as she wanted him.
She sighed with a smile, revelling in the satiation of her need for some wild, crazy fun.
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Undertale choose your Adventure
A Crack Story, Originally written and posted on Wattpad. Dream was on a walk.. and then it went weird.
So originally as said, was posted on Wattpad where at the end of each chapter there was a set of Votes. The Story finally finished but you can still find the original stuff on Watt. Here is the completed version minus the votes. If you want to join in future Adventures, please keep an eye on my wattpad account under the same name.
It was a beautiful day in the multiverse, singing flowers blooming birds... no they actually were.
Its not a misprint.
And a Skeleton was making there way through the area.
Dream Thought it was a beautiful day.
No battles.
His brother wasn't causing issues, and Ink for once wasn't driving him up the wall.
Nothing could make this day go badly.
Then he saw someone ahead.
Standing there was Error, The Destroyer.
Ink rival..
Dream was on his own, and his attacks would only do so much.
So... what if he changed what he did.
Taking a deep breath Dream walked towards the destroyer, who was apparently snacking on chocolate.
"Hey good looking," Dream said with an easy grin.
Error blinked and looked at the gold garbed skeleton.
"What are you on Dream?" Error asked.
"Who said I was on anything," he purred back.
Error glitched a bit more then usual.
"What's Inky's plan now," he growled.
"Just my plans," Dream said leaning up.
Chu
Error fell down with a thud as Dream kissed him.
"Um..." Dream said as Error started rebooting.
"Get away from him Dream!" a voice growled.
And there was Nighty, looking as evil and goopy as always.
"Aw come on, he might be evil but at least he's cute and has a soul. Why do you always stop be from getting a boyfriend!" Dream pouted stamping his foot.
"Because your an immature idiot and think Ink for brains is a good choice half the time," Nightmare replied smugly.
Meanwhile Error had rebooted and hid in the bushes.
"No way! He just wants me for emotions! So let em have Error!" Dream cried.
"No way! Do you know how hard it was to get to the friend zone! I have to make it to the boyfriend zone next!" Nightmare snarled.
"So we both want him!" Dream said drawing his bow and arrows.
Error ate popcorn in the bushes.
It was nice to be wanted.
"We'll decide in a battle!" Nightmare called.
They leapt forward, attack on attack...
And somehow created a pentagram shape.
And activated it.
And Blinked.
"Blue?" Dream asked bewildered, as the other star sans seemed to appear in the pentagram.
"Wasn't I just making Tacos?" Blue said looking around a tray of food in his hands.
"I knew it!" Nightmare cried pointing at Blue.
"Knew what?" Dream asked.
"I knew Blue had to be secretly evil!" Nightmare yelled dramatically.
Error fell over laughing in the bushes, scattering his popcorn everywhere.
"Its is something I'm wearing?" Blue asked looking down at his clothing.
"EVIL!" Nightmare hissed.
"Brother... I'm sure this is a misunderstanding," Dream sighed, trying not to think of the weird thing Blue did.
"EVIL!" Nightmare cried.
"Can you guys send me home, the ovens still on," Blue asked with a sigh.
"He has to be evil, because he made friends with Error!" Nightmare protested, Blues eye twitched.
"That's jut the power of friendship, after all your Error's friend," Dream pointed out smugly.
"EVIL!" Nightmare ylled which was starting to get annoying.
"SEND ME HOME NOOOOOW!" Blue said in a warped voice an Error symbol appearing in one eye, the twins eeped and hugged each other.
When no return summon had happened, Blue got mad.
"So your just going to cry like babies," he said, voice still warped.
"Run you fools," Error said from his spot.
"Ha ha ah, I'm sure we'll be alright.. were friends right?"Dream asked nervously.
"We're going to die," Nightmare shivered.
"I'm sure it will be fine, after all Blue.. was the most innocent one right?" Dream said shivering.
Right?
Multiverse...
Stars darn it.. why did the multiverse only 4th wall break for Blue.
"Well then... I'm guessing you both need punishment," Blue giggled a bit insanely, voice glitching even more.
White bones shifted, Errors appeared around his body.
"Why aren't you running yet?" Blueberror smiled, voice fully glitched like Error now.
Only for a Taco to land in his hands.
Nightmare and Dream stared.
It was a fully cooked fresh taco.
"Oh! A Taco!" Blueberror said, and ate the Taco.
Magically he seemed to turn back into normal Blue.
"Your just not you when your hungry Blue," Error said, putting away his 'In case of Blueberror box' back into its magical hiatus.
"Thanks Error," Blue said all smiled and sparkles.
"Evil..." Nightmare whimpered.
"Soo... whats going on?" Blue asked putting his tray into magical space.
"Wait a minute," Blue said, eye lights blazing "Were you asking out my Error on a date!"
"Your Error?" Dream said faintly.
Nightmare looked ready to have an Error type crash.
"Of Course! We've been dating for years," Blue said happily.
"You did get the wedding invites right?" Error asked confused as he stood beside Blue.
"Wedding..." Dream said wild eyed.
"Invitations!" Nightmare squeaked.
"After all I don't share, Error's mine," Blue said with a wicked grin.
Error smiled happily.
Ink sulked in the bushes, everyone was having so much fun.
And they hadn't even invited him!
Him.. the Creator!
Why hadn't he gotten an invite to this drama yet, or even the wedding.
"Um... you got invited," a voice said.
"Don't I have any friends," he sniffed.
"Hello?" the voice said.
"He's totally not paying attention," a second voice said.
"Time to forth wall break!" the first said gleefully.
"We're already breaking it!" the second said.
"Time to join the party!" GumdropWolfYT gleefully shouted, as he picked up and Ink and threw him towards the other four skeletons.
ObsessiveFangorl facepalmed and dragged the other away, quickly closing the forth wall behind them.
"Ahhhhhh!" Ink shouted as he went flying
Crash
Fate held up a scoreboard with a 9 out of ten.
Error, Blue, Nightmare and Dream had slammed across the area from Ink who had suddenly bowled them over.
It was clearly a Ten Fate.
Fate?
Fine ignore me.
Hmph...
"Owwww," Blue said, he quickly got up and rushed to Error to press the 'Yes to Reboot' button.
"I see starrrs," Dream giggled clearly knocked over silly.
"I'm sooo done!" Nightmare said, opened a portal and left.
"Wait.. where did Ink go?" Blue said, looking for the resident soulless skeleton.
And Blinked when he spotted him.
"This.. is hilarious!" Reaper laughed taking pictures with his camera phone, he hadn't expected to come across Ink boi embedded into a hill side in a skeleton made crater.
Seconds made a dying sound.
"Hello Reaper!" Blue said happily, from beside the downed Error and Dream.
"Hey Blue, I see the moron was being a moron again," Reaper said.
"Nah, just a badly patched forth breaking," Blue said cheerfully.
"So normal as usual then," Reaper cackled.
Suddenly Reaper paused, and stared.
“Is everything alright Error?” Blue asked, Error groaned and slowly got up.
“Geno..” Reaper whispered.
“Whoever Geno is, can take a number after this migraine,” Error said rubbing his skull.
“No, your Geno!” Reaper said shocked, his mate had vanished eons ago.
One minute there, the next nope.. cya later reality.
“I think I’d know if I was someone else,” Error said, after all Fate had said they’d created them from the anti-void.
Meanwhile Fate was trying to hide from Destiny’s glare.
“Yeah... you know what,” Reaper said with a smile.
“What what?” Blue asked bewildered.
Who was Geno?
“See ya, sorry you’ll have to cancel the wedding as I have I waifu to claim!” Reaper grinned, suddenly beside Error. He grabbed the destroyer who crashed, then both vanished.
“Get back with my Error!” Blue screamed going super sai.... I mean Blueberror and vanishing also.
Dream twitched.
Ink blinked and looked around wondering where everyone went.
If Reaper was anyone else, he’d be biting his fingers in frustration.
He’d found his Geno.
Geno so changed.
Geno.. who clearly didn’t remember him.
Yet... his soul pulsed, he could feel the link between them as soulmates.
What had broken Geno, his wonderful stubborn Geno.
Geno and himself, who had been discussing if they wanted children.
“Can you stop staring at me,” Error said grumpily, they were in Reapertale in Reapers home. Why Error hadn’t left yet, Reaper had bribed him with chocolate.
One of the things that apparently not changed between Error and his past self.
“Sorry... it’s just, I never figured out I’d find you this way,” Reaper said unhappily, after all how did one react to ones mate becoming the destroyer.
“As far as I know, Fate created me as Ink’s counterpart. I’m linked heavily to the Anti-void. If I’m gone to long, I’m pulled back. I don’t know how I can be your Geno,” Error said sipping a giant chocolate milkshake.
“Anyway, you can prove it?” another voice said, Reaper and Error blinked as suddenly as Blue was there eating a Taco at the table.
“How did you get here!” Reaper said shocked, only he himself and Grim should have been able to enter without an invite.
“Technically I’m an error a glitch in the system,” Blue chirped, his form shifting to his other self then back.
Right... Geno use to walk through security like it wasn’t there also.
“And what do you plan to do if you find out he is my waifu?” Reaper asked.
“Well Share him of course, Error is the only one I ever wanted. And at least your cute too, my glitchy error codes would protect me too,” Blue said wickedly.
Reaper and Error blushed heavily.
“Right,” Reaper said shakily... we have a few ways to do this.
“And?” Error asked, interested either way.
“TIME TRAVEL!” TK!Sans shouted appearing in a flash of time travel.
“Out! When I find out how you keep getting in with time magic this better stop!” Reaper said annoyed, stupid time kids.
“Oh! Look at the time. Gotta go!” the time tot said and vanished, leaving Reaper grumbling.
“You were saying?” Blue said giggling.
“I have a gem that sends us back in time, out of phase so no one can see us and we can’t change anything,” Reaper replied. “We go back, tag Geno as he’s taken and follow!”
“Why didn’t you use it in the past?” Error asked.
“You need three people to use it, and every time I get someone to agree they start arguing on where they should go first,” Reaper said dryly.
“Lets do this!” Blue cheered.
“Welp. Lets do this,” Reaper said, pulling a weird grey gem from a shelf.
“How does it work?” Error asked.
“Oh, were already there,” Reaper cackled, and all three of them faded away.
Fate sputtered as her toy vanished.
OoOoO
Three figures appeared with a Zomp sound.
Yes, a Zomp sound.
No were not going to describe it more.
Anyway...
“The world looks grey,” Error said looking around.
“And there is Geno, the day he vanished!” Reaper said pointing to a bloody glitchy skeleton.
“Does this have a speed up option?” Blue asked as Reaper tagged Geno.
“Sure,” Reaper said and slammed the gem into a tree.
“Cool!” Blue chirped as the world sped up.
Suddenly strings zoomed out of nowhere like a lasso yeeted Geno out of the area.
“Not my strings,” Error said, “looks like fates.”
“Right, lets follow!” Blue said, and they quickly followed the tag on Geno.
“The Anti-void!” Error said as they appeared in endless white.
“And there is Geno!” Reaper smirked.
“Hey you, Glitchy boi!” a voice yelled in the voice.
“Yeah you!” the voice yelled as Geno pointed at himself.
“I need a destroyer, you’ll do,” the voice said.
“That’s fate...” Error said dryly.
“Um.. no thanks, I kinda have to tell Reaper something important,” Geno said.
“Who said you got to say no?” Fate asked.
Womp!
A giant hammer fell from nowhere and hit Geno, covering the area with a cloud somehow.
“Um...” Reaper said at the scene.
“...” Error said as the dust cleared.
“Now my minion! Do your job!” Fate cackled.
“Riiight... lets go home,” Blue said sweatdropping.
BOIIIING
“What’s with the weird sounds it makes?” Blue asked.
“No clue,” Reaper said.
“...” Error said.
“Error honey?” Blue asked in concern.
And crashed and rebooted.
“That’s new,” Blue said as the reboot stopped at 99% with a new choice.
‘Download and install Original Data YES/NO’
Blue quickly pressed yes.
“Thank you for choosing The Origination Reincarnation Station, please sit back and relax” a gentle female voice said, then Error exploded.
“What the stars!” Reaper said as they were knocked back.
“Error!” Blue cried.
“And welcome back the migraine,” a voice said, a non glitchy voice.
“Geno babe!” Reaper said happily.
“I need to sit down,” Error.. no Geno said getting up, Reaper quickly helped his spouse to a chair.
“Are.. you still Error?” Blue asked worriedly.
“Yes...” Geno said.
“Good, just because you got your old body isn’t stopping my wedding to you two!” Blue said smugly, the married couple blushed.
“You had news for me... when you vanished,” Reaper asked softly.
“Ah..” Geno said blushing heavier.
“Ohhhh.....” Blue said giggling suddenly.
“I... was kind of pregnant when Fate grabbed me... and still am, now that this body was freed,” Geno said summoning his ecto body, which was quiet far along.
“How did we not notice!” Reaper said in shock.
“ Well... I never summon my ecto body, and my glitched state hid any signs. Also.. I’m half dead and your Death,” Geno said dryly.
Meanwhile Blue started having millions of baby thoughts, Error/Geno was a beautiful Skeleton in both forms. And the three of them would make adorable children, he wondered how long it would take to talk Reaper to get him knocked up too.
“Heh heh heh... Blue said lost in his own head.
“I’m sorry...” Geno whispered holding Reapers hand.
“For what, your alive,” Reaper gently said, he leaned forward and touched there foreheads together.
“But... I cheated on you as Error,” Geno cried.
“Shhh... that doesn’t matter. You had no clue you were anything but what Fate said love. And I can see you truly love Blue too.. he’s not bad, and if that’s the price I pay for you I’ll pay it a million times,” Reaper promised to his teary eyed love.
“It won’t be easy, I’m stil l th e Destroyer. The Error,” Geno said.
“And I’m Death, Death and Destruction go together,” Reaper smirked.
“Idiot,” Geno said.
“And Blue can be the Chaos,” Reaper giggled.
“Crap...” Geno suddenly said.
“Whats wrong?” Blue asked, coming out of his daydreams.
“Well... Its time, guess the baby got tired of waiting eons to be born,” Geno said wincing.
Thump
Reaper had left the building.
Okay fainted.
“Gahhh.... oh my stars!” Blue panicked and ran around like a headless chicken.
Pow
And there was Blue meeting the wall.
“ Why...” he cried through the pain.
OoOoO
The sound of crying.
“Take it easy, your magic will b e over stressed for th �� e next few weeks,” a voice said, yes.. Sci’s voice.
“ I will, thank you for allowing me here,” Genos voice came.
“No problem, was hilarious to see you rushing in using magic to carry Blue and Reaper,” Sci cackled.
“The Baby!” Reaper said coming fully awake.
“Over here,” Geno said amused.
Apparently there were in at a hospital, Blue was just coming too.
“Reaper.. meet our son,” Geno said happily, held in his arms was a tiny Skeleton with one eye light typical to a sans type.
“He’s perfect,” he said raspy voiced in awe.
“What’s his name?” Blue asked wide eyed.
“I think his proud papa should choose,” Geno said.
“Goth, taking parts of both our names,” Reaper said happily, here he was gettinga happy ending.
Death and his glitch.
Death and Destruction.
With Chaos at the side.
“Hey Geno, next kids mine,” Blue smirked.
Geno sputtered.
Reaper laughed.
“You have quiet the future kiddo,” Reaper told the newborn.
He couldn’t wait to see it.
END
#Undertale#Crack#do not take this seriously#fanfic#Dream#Error#Nightmare#Blue#Ink#Reaper#Geno#afterdeath
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Flight of the Albatross - The Stars and Us
Wrote this on my phone while waiting for the eclipse to happen with family. Don’t ask me where this inspiration came from cuz I have no clue.
Fingers strumming the strings of her guitar, Leith yawned hugely, her breath fogging in the cold air. We must be drawing close to a winter island, she thought, huddling deeper into her nightwatch cloak. The fabric just a little too thin for what she expected the weather to turn.
Maybe I should have brought my jacket, she grumped, shivering and tucking her fingers when a stray wind sent a more aggressive chill.
A loud thump at her side gave her pause.
Turning to see what it was, Leith choked when she saw Ace face-planted into the floorboards of the crow’s nest, his feet all in a tangle on the railing still. He’d apparently had a tumble after climbing all the way up there, though the question of “why” still rang in the air. He was usually remarkably stable no matter how much the Wild Card pitched and bucked, so it made her wonder why he was still laying in a tangled heap.
A loud snore answered her question.
Leith gave an involuntary snort, clapping a hand over her mouth as her shoulders shook with laughter.
Sure Ace’s narcolepsy kicked in at the most inopportune times, but it usually did so when he was relaxed… or eating. Not when clambering over the precarious mastlines. Just what the hell are you trying to accomplish? she wondered, unfolding one of her legs from the semi-warm confines of her cloak to toe at his snoozing form.
He popped to wakefulness in mid-snore, his head jerking up like an attentive groundhog, making Leith give a started ‘eep’ of surprise.
“Aw man, I fell asleep…” he grumbled, scrambling out of his tangle so he could properly adjust his hat.
Leith gave an amused chuff. “Yeah, it was quite the entrance,” she quipped wryly, tucking her leg back in with a quiver. Her teeth chattering briefly as yet another breeze brought a bout of cold. “What brings you here?”
A proverbial lightbulb seemed to go off in his head as he came to some realization. “Oh yeah!” he said, before scuttling toward her so fast, she didn’t have time to react before he’d already burrowed his way under her cloak.
“Wha-Hey!!” she barked, struggling as his face nosed and wiggled about, “What the hell are you doing?!”
“Stop struggling…” Ace whined, giving a muted “oof” when her elbow collided with his ribcage.
“Hell no!”
Finally, after a few moments of grunting and cursing, his head popped out of the collar of the cloak, his warm cheek brushing against her own. “There we go!” he chirped, shimmying a little closer when Leith tried to scoot away, “Come on, don’t be a stranger~”
"Like hell! Go get your own blanket!" she snarled, grunting when his arm wound around her waist and squished her close.
He pouted, arm loosening its hold a bit, his face just a little too close to hers for comfort. "But if I do that, then you'll be cold..."
Leith stilled at that, her eyebrows raising as she shot him an incredulous look. "What?"
Ace shrugged, his face bright with pure innocent intent. "I just thought you'd be cold up here by yourself. The temperature kind of took a dive and I was worried," his face flushed a bit at that, his freckles fading just a bit at the reddening of his skin.
Leith felt her face heat in turn, which had nothing to do with the enveloping warmth that emanated from the man at her side. To distract herself, she glanced up at the veil of stars, her eyes trying to pick out patterns and shapes.
She felt rather than saw, Ace follow her example... though he did shimmy just a smidge closer before raising his other arm to point out a series of stars. "That's the White Tiger, in East Blue he usually rises high in Fall..."
Leith was having trouble listening to his lecture however... half her brain being distracted by the hand running circles on her hip.
#Flight of the Albatross#portgas d. ace#Leith / Spoons#drabbles#been a while since I wrote one of these
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thaw ➳ helios (mlqc)
➳ PAIRING: reader x helios (mlqc)
➳ WORD COUNT: 2188
➳ GENRE: injured! helios, fluff
➳ SYNOPSIS: helios breaks into and enters your house. you break into and enter the walls he’s put up.
➳ REMARKS: i clearly cannot write for helios, also, i have no idea what i was doing. spoilers for chapter 17+
A crash from your living room startles you awake.
Still half asleep, brain not quite running at a functional speed yet, you lie stock still in bed with the covers drawn up to your neck, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if you’d simply imagined the noise. A few seconds later, however, there’s a sound of something heavy hitting the floor outside your bedroom, a little muffled but still too loud to be anything imaginary, and goosebumps prickle down the back of your neck as you let out a little ‘eep’ of fear.
What’s happening? Had the wind from the window blown something over? Or had a burglar somehow gotten into your house? You swallow, trembling slightly at the thought as your mind runs wild with scenarios from previous crime programmes that you’ve filmed and all the cold murder cases Gavin has told you about. What if you end up a victim just like one of them?
Heart thudding wildly in your chest, part of you wants to just stay buried under the covers like this, the thick blankets at least providing you with some false sense of security, but the sheer need to know just what is happening in your house refuses to leave your mind like some sort of relentless itch. You slip out from under the covers carefully, reaching under your bed to grab the first heavy object your fingers wrap around before inching towards the bedroom door with caution in every step.
Pausing for a moment, you press your ear against the door. Completely silent.
For some reason, that just makes the trepidation all the more potent for you. Unable to take a second longer of this, your fingers wrap around the doorknob and pull delicately.
The door creaks open, alarmingly loud in the dead silence of the night. Concluding that any advantage of surprise you might have had is now flushed down the drain, you decide to throw all caution to the wind and leap out into the darkness of the living room, raising your item above your head menacingly.
“Hands up, intruder!” You yell, with as much aggression as you can muster.
No one responds.
Confused, you glance about the living room. There doesn’t seem to be anyone inside the apartment with you, and what seems to have made the earlier noise is-
“Oh no!” You yelp, dismayed. The gardenia plant Lucien had given you a few weeks ago is lying on the floor, its flowerpot cracked down the middle. The wind must have blown it over somehow, you reason with yourself as you step towards it. The weather forecast last night had predicted a possible storm with strong winds, so it’s no wonder that-
You pause midstep, a frown forming on your face.
You had closed the windows before going to bed last night precisely because you’d read the weather forecast. So if the windows were closed, how did-
You whirl around in horror, raising the object in your hands once more as realisation hits you, but it’s already too late. An arm snakes around your middle and tugs you hard against a solid chest, while a hand clamps hard around your mouth the second you try to scream for help. Flailing, you drop whatever you’d been carrying and struggle in your assailant’s grasp, and the person behind you lets out a sharp hiss of pain when your elbow strikes their side.
“Stop moving, idiot.”
Your gasp of surprise is muffled against the palm of his hand, you know this voice.
“Don’t scream,” the intruder warns lowly as he releases his grip on you. You spin around to get a look at him the second you can move, and the pale moonlight that lends an almost ethereal gleam to his silver hair confirms his identity for you in an instant.
“Helios!” His name leaves your lips in shock. You have to rub your eyes twice to make sure you’re not really dreaming, and even after you do so, you just can’t seem to find the words to ask him what he’s doing here. “You... What are you... Wha-”
“What were you even planning to do with this...” He grunts, glacial blue eyes glancing down disdainfully at the object of your choice for defense - a heavy binder of past proposals that had been rejected by Victor. In spite of the situation, you find your cheeks flushing.
“I was panicking, okay?”
Before you can find the opportunity to explain yourself, however, Helios lets out a sharp groan and sags to his knees before your eyes; you barely manage to catch him before he hits the ground hard. He’s too heavy for you to hold up in spite of your best efforts, so all you manage to do is slow his collapse to the floor. “Helios? Helios!”
“Shut up... you’re loud...” He waves off your frantic concern with one hand, but even in the dim light of the moon you can make out the faint sheen of sweat on his forehead and neck, his jaw taut and a pained glare on his face. “Just let me lie low here for a couple of hours and I’ll be out of your hair.”
Completely ignoring him, you tug at the white winter parka he usually wears to reveal the tattoo inked onto his right arm, yanking it down so that you can inspect him for injuries. Sure enough, the second you do, you catch sight of crimson staining the inside of his parka, the bloody gashes across his biceps. “You’re bleeding!”
“It’s just a scratch, nothing life threatening-” He tries to brush it off, but you’re already up and running into your kitchen to fetch a first aid kit. Helios groans in resignation as he settles against the wall, shaking his head and holding one hand to the wound at his side. “Shouldn’t have come here.”
“You shouldn’t even have gotten hurt in the first place!” You rush back to his side with a white box clasped firmly in your hands, kneeling next to him and inspecting his wound carefully, hands gentle as they probe at his side. “I can’t clean your wound properly like this... take your shirt off.”
“What.”
Too impatient to wait for him, you grab the hem of his skintight shirt and lift a pair of scissors to the material, snipping away before he can stop you. “Why is it that every time you visit, you’re hurt like this? I thought you were supposed to be some highly skilled assassin...” You mutter under your breath. Helios rolls his eyes at your words, but you can see the pain he’s trying to play off behind that indifferent facade.
“You weren’t meant to know that I was here.” He grunts, but otherwise staying still as you cut his shirt in half. This brings up conflicting emotions in you, on one hand, you’re glad that he at least trusts you enough to take care of his injuries, but you’re also upset that he’s hurt like this. “I was just going to steal your first aid supplies and patch myself up, but that stupid plant on the windowsill got in the way.”
“Don’t talk about Garda like that. Now I’m going to have to repot her... if she isn’t dead.” You scold, pulling the fabric away from his skin. Now that his shirt is off, you try the best you can to ignore the lean, defined muscles of his chest and inspect the injury where most of the blood has come from. A clean cut through skin and flesh at his side, dark red oozing slowly from it. “Oh my god, what happened?”
“None of your business-” He begins, but you uncap your bottle of hydrogen peroxide and pour it liberally on his side before he can stop you. The second the strong disinfectant hits his wound, he lets out a shout of pain, almost curling up on himself. “Ow! Fucking hell, that stings like a bitch, you-”
Your glare is about as terrifying as his. “I said, what happened.”
“... got knifed,” is all he mutters very unwillingly, but you consider that a victory, because he’s speaking to you at the very least. Resolving to be more gentle this time, you soak a cotton pad with disinfectant and proceed to dab carefully at the edges of the wound to clean off the blood and grime, brows furrowed in concentration. “I don’t suppose you’ll tell me how you got knifed in the first place?”
“No.”
You let out a sigh, shaking your head at his stony reply as you reach for the box of butterfly bandages in your first aid kit. Luckily for him, the wound doesn’t seem to be too deep after all that cleaning, and you’re not sure if you’ll do him more damage if you attempt sutures on him. “You break into my house in the middle of the night, scare me out of my wits, break my flowerpot, make me treat you... the least you could do is tell me what happened.”
“I didn’t make you treat me.” His blue eyes bore sharply into yours, a slight scowl tugging at his mouth. “Don’t expect any thanks from me, busybody. Keep your nose out of my problems next time before you get dragged into them as well. I’m not going to save you when that happens.”
“You’re as naggy as an old granny.” You hum, completely ignoring him and leaving a pat on top of his silver hair. Now that the most serious wound at his side is done, you move to cleaning the gashes on his arms, which are similarly bloody but not worryingly deep. “If you want to break into my house again, at least bring some nice food with you. I get hungry when I get woken up in the middle night.”
He glares at you. “Are you even listening to me?”
“And that’s the best I can do!” You say loudly over his words, dusting off your hands as you do a once over of his body. With no more visible wounds in sight, you gently put your hands under his arms to help haul him to his feet, even as he protests with all manner of curses and some very unsavoury remarks, before steering him to lie on the couch. “Now, Helios, we need to set some ground rules. As much as this little relationship we have is very fun and interesting-”
“We are not in any relationship!”
“–it is also very illegal! Breaking and entering is a big no-no, and it’s against the law. So, I have come up with a solution!” You turn around and rummage in a nearby cabinet for a moment, before you pull something out from the drawer and hold it up to light.
Helios squints at it, not quite understanding whatever antic you’re pulling this time. Exhaustion is tugging at his eyelids, his will to leave seeping away along with his wakefulness. Must be the blood loss. Or the comfort of your too small couch. Or maybe... just maybe, the familiar ramble of your voice. Either way, it’s not a good thing, he’d meant to make it back to headquarters before the night was over. “That’s... a key. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Exactly!” You beam brightly, opening up his hand and pressing the key into the middle of his palm. The grooves press into his skin, as if he’s holding the key to unlocking himself instead. It feels uncomfortable in his hand, but his fingers close around it on instinct. “It’s the key to my apartment. Next time, you can enter through the door, and not by less law-abiding means.”
He doesn’t tell you that he could unlock your door in a matter of seconds with the right tools. Instead, he only holds the key up, studying it wordlessly until your smile turns a little awkward. “Well, I mean, you don’t have to.” You tack on hurriedly, reaching to pluck the key from his grasp. To your surprise, however, he pulls the key out of your reach before you can so much as touch it, tucking it in the pocket of his pants.
“Your security is shitty anyway.” He says, before turning over so that you can’t see his face. Pouting a little, you stick out your tongue at him behind his back before you rise to your feet, intending to get him a blanket so that he can spend the night. Just as you’re about to step into your bedroom, however, his words stop you in your tracks.
“What do you want?”
You tilt your head back to look at him in confusion. “What do I want...?”
He glances up at you slightly, silver hair falling into icy blue eyes that seem to have just thawed ever so slightly. “For supper, you dolt.”
“Oh.” You say, and then suddenly you’re smiling so hard that your cheeks hurt. “Fried chicken.”
“So basic.” He mutters under his breath, but you only smile and throw a blanket over him.
“Goodnight, Helios.”
When you wake up the next morning, he’s already gone.
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As soon as I started practicing kisses I suddenly can't help adding them now lmao something fluffy and firey for you heathens. Still sfw content tho ofc. Based on the new fanart I did recently so some of it doesn't match the art in hindsight :"D I think now its just gonna be a new tradition to write something to go along with my pieces.
They were taking one of their occasional adventures away from the Betterman Farm, where they would hunker down in the wilderness for several days at a time. For a while, Guy and Eep would forget there was an entire world that they shared with other people; their family. It was just the two of them, hunting and foraging and seeing the beauty the land itself provided.
She knew her home was the Farm now but her heart would never deny she was always meant for the untamed wild where the sun stretched on forever. She wasn't sure why Guy had lead her towards the desert as an area for camp, it was hot and unspeakably dry during the day, sweltering even. Her entire life had been the dusty desert and the canyon with that awful cave as the only escape from the heat.
As dusk fell, Guy had only grinned at her. They'd set up camp not long after the daytime sun joined the many nighttime suns in the sky. The sight of how many slept above her still was awe striking. Guy skinned a boar they'd hunted together, something Eep wanted to teach Dawn about someday. She knew as much as Guy enjoyed his safer, more pampered life with the Bettermans, he was still that adventurous nomad born and raised. He lived for the thrill his skills provided him and how all his ideas saved him from many obstacles.
Eep watched the fire flicker and sway, it was still surprising how alive looked. She leaned her hands out to toast her palms, the desert chilled now the sun set. She didn’t understand that either, how such a mercilessly hot place can become so cold.
The embers glowed in her green eyes when she felt Guy touch her wrist. Eep turned to him, seeing the fire reflecting in his dark gaze. He was beautiful, one of the most wonderful things she ever saw even after everything he'd shown her.
"I got the boar skinned, just need help putting a skewer through it," Guy said, gesturing towards the beast. They had parked themselves by an oasis, giving Guy a way to wash off the blood from his hands.
Eep had offered to do it, blood never phased her but Guy insisted she just rest. In the meantime she had bathed in the spring, the sand and sweat on her uncomfortable before settling down by the fire to wait on her mate. She hadn't wanted to admit it but she felt rather tired after the long trek. Guy had his reasons for picking this place but he could be so strange and peculiar about it in a way she never understood.
Perhaps that was why she loved him so much. There was nobody else in the world like him, even if she could only count the amount of people she knew on both hands.
Eep stood up from her crouching position. "Sure, I'm starving," she exclaimed, eying the pig carcass greedily. "Are you absolutely certain we can't just - "
"No, you are not sinking your teeth into that thing without cooking it first," Guy scolded her, it was more akin to when Ugga was telling off her children for causing mischief. "You'll get sick. I need to bring you back to Grug in one piece or I'll be in pieces."
"Fineeeee," Eep compromised with a dramatic sigh, leaning her neck back before walking over to help her mate spear the pig.
Eep with Guy’s help, well, mostly Eep but she liked making him feel useful, carried the spitted animal towards the campfire and held it over it. Guy had crafted some little makeshift contraption with wood and rope he'd packed, so they could use a pulley system to rotate the roasting boar
The two took alternating shifts.
"It's funny," Eep couldn’t help but muse suddenly, taking in the view. The fire made the golden sandstone burn a brilliant red color, reminding her of amber.
"What's funny?" Guy asked from his post by the pig, rotating it with a careful eye so it cooked evenly.
"Well…" Eep leaned her elbow on her bent knee, her chin on her hand. "We met in a desert and you asked me to marry you in one too."
Guy tried hiding his smile by turning back to cooking but Eep saw it, perceptive as always. He pretended to ignore her narrow eyed look. "Funny how fate works," he quipped and heard Eep snort in a very unadulterated fashion.
"You planned this," Eep accused him and Guy finally was forced to face the music because the boar didn't need this much turning on the spit.
"Me? Plan things? You must be mistaken," Guy quipped, his tone betraying him. His grin was wide. "Okay, you got me. Happy anniversary, or have you forgotten?"
"As if I can forget the night I nearly dashed your brains out with a rock," she said with more fondness than any normal person should, jumping to her feet.
Guy held her hands, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose against hers. "Me either, you're a hard one to forget."
"Well, I did call you back."
"You did," he agreed before pouting. "Not my smoothest pick up line though."
"So you didn't tell every girl that line? 'If you survive, call me?'" Eep quoted, exposing her teeth in a teasing smirk.
"Nope, you were the first and only," Guy assured her, winking. "It worked."
"It did," she agreed back, shaking her head with a giggle. "So…" Eep began coyly, averting her eyes towards the landscape colored black in silhouette.
"So…?" Guy urged her, knowing that Eep didn't need the coaxing but somehow it had just become their thing.
"What if I did come with you that night," Eep asked him, turning back to bat her eyelashes at him. "I think this is the perfect spot to humor the thought." She gazed around the desert, the ground hard with stone, much like the one she had followed Guy's fire that night.
"Well for one, your dad would have killed me because I didn't know he was part of the equation yet," Guy replied, both joking and serious as he said it. "This little journey would have definitely been way more interesting though if I had stolen you away from him."
"Stolen me," she echoed with a laugh though her ears burned from a mixture of the fire and thought. There had been an obvious attraction and two teenagers journeying alone, well, it didn't take a Betterman to figure it out. "You make this sound scandalous, Guy."
"It's not now though so that means when you took my hand, I'd do this." He lifted her palm to his lips, gently kissing a scar that led down to the pulse point of her wrist.
"No, you wouldn't have," Eep teased him. "You were too scared of me to try it."
"I wouldn’t," he agreed. "But this is a fantasy so anything can happen."
"Okay," she amused him, letting Guy continue his little story.
Guy seemed to realize a dark implication in this what if and since it was a fantasy, he could change that. "The world isn't ending, I'm still a nomad but you're just a stir crazy teenage girl instead."
"I am a stir crazy teenage girl," Eep corrected him, leaning up on her toes to brush his cheek with her nose. "And I'll remind you everyday, babe."
"You make telling this story harder than it needs to be," Guy lamented in mock offense, drawing her closer to eye her down. Eep just grinned innocently. "Stop putting plot holes."
Eep just giggled, feeling him turn her hand over to kiss her knuckles and each finger delicately. It was like having a butterfly touch her skin.
"Fine, then what?"
"We'd run away together," he continued, looking up at her with loving eyes. "Somehow outsmart your dad because Sandy would totally have sniffed us out in the morning."
Eep smirked, fighting off a broad smile in her amusement. "Would you have fought him?"
"I mean…" Sure, it was a fantasy but he was also just stronger, bigger and scarier than Guy was. Besides, hindsight wasn't twenty twenty and this caveman was now a second father to him. As annoying and abrasive as Grug had been in all the time Guy knew him, he also had a begrudging respect and admiration for him too. "Maybe we'd just bring him along anyway, save us the trouble."
"Is the log ride magic now?" Eep asked him with a wicked grin. "Does it fly us to Tomorrow? I'm sure it could if dad kicked it hard enough for us."
Guy scoffed, "This is my fantasy so there is no log."
"Aw, you're no fun," she sniggered, lifting his hand to press his palm into her nose fondly. "The log brought us together."
"Yeah but in this story you already came with me," Guy reminded her with a gentle tug, taking her hand back to stroke his thumbs fondly over her knuckles.
Eep tried hard not to laugh again, blushing as well under the soft look he gave her. He smiled at her and she melted like ice. It was intimate and vulnerable, more so than anything they'd done in all the time proceeding to this moment.
"Alright," she murmured, stroking his chest after laying her palm flat against his heart. She fiddled with the seashells dangling around his neck, idly stroking his throat and felt him swallow. "Then what?"
"I'd show you the world and since there's no The End… we wouldn't rush through it. You know, actually do some sight seeing. Fall slowly in love with each beautiful thing I show you but never seems to compare to you." Eep couldn’t help the giddy giggle as he called her beautiful, beaming bright like a sun ray at his compliment. Guy's eyes almost glazed over as he gave the silly romantic escapade story more thought, he chuckled. "Your dad would ruin all our little moments though, so it's kinda hard."
"So even in this little I went with you story, dad still keeps us apart?" Eep pouted.
"Every story needs conflict," Guy teased her. "Dad was going to catch up eventually, family in tow. We were taking the scenic route, it was bound to happen, Eep."
Eep rolled her eyes at him, tugging Guy down so they could sit with their backs to the fire. She leaned her weight against his side, feeling Guy rest his arm behind her back. "I hope things start getting more romantic for us, Guy."
Guy pressed a kiss to her temple, grinning. "It does. After hauling our crazy family cross country, we find the sun hidden on a mountain."
Eep remembered Guy's mountain, two tall twin peaks that extended high above the sky, swathed in clouds and extending out to a meadow after climbing the outcrop. They were supposed to ride it to Tomorrow, joining it among the many sleeping suns above. "How are we going to ride it to Tomorrow if I'm your Tomorrow?"
"I'm retconning stuff, stop spoiling the story," Guy scolded her, just resting his head on hers, taking in her smokey wild scent. "I realize this sooner, because the sun isn't really attainable. We go after it but it just gets farther and farther away." He extended his hand out in a reaching gesture. This meant Guy was really getting into the story.
"Are you sad for awhile?" Eep inquired, absently hugging his bicep now that Guy no longer held her hands.
"For a bit," he admitted. "I mean, my parents said to follow the sun but you really can't but…" Guy paused and gazed fondly at his wife tucked into his side, body warm, familiar and supple.
"But…?"
"I found you, light led me to you. I realize this and tell you I love you after this little journey." Guy nuzzled her cheek with a blissful little sigh. "Also then we find the Bettermans and live happily ever after in their treehouse with the punch monkeys."
Eep poked him in the chest, not really the reaction he was expecting after that happy ending. "You can't just skip an entire chapter like that and tack 'the end!'"
Guy took her hand in both of his, cupping it tender in-between his palms. "It works when your dad tells stories," he joked.
"Well, that was before you started telling better stories," Eep exclaimed with a childish huff that was so her it made Guy muffle a laugh into her shoulder.
"Did you tell Grug that?"
"You know how dad is," she replied a bit more sheepishly this time. "Least everybody doesn't die at the end anymore."
"They don't," he agreed, gazing at her fondly once again. "He's getting better though, I like happy endings."
"I like happy endings. I like you," Eep added, cuddling herself cozy as a cat under his arm and against his chest. She listened to his heartbeat, soothed by the gentle thump.
Guy stroked her back, gentle as he rested his chin above her head. "Only like?" He murmured.
"Maybe if you don't rush your endings then I'll say something else," she told him, Guy feeling her lips as she spoke against his heart.
Guy hugged her, adjusting his position so he could tug his wife onto his lap. She immediately curled up there, warm and safe as he draped his arms around her like a cocoon. "What if there is no ending yet? I like leaving our story open ended, Eep."
He suddenly found himself on his back and he gave a soft oof in surprise. Eep leaned over him, hands braced above his head as she looked down at him. The firelight made her already bright red hair even more so, blazing like the sun with the dark shadows making her eyes and face seem more intense.
"Then… I guess I can accept that," she relented after several moments, a smile crossing her face. She pressed her forehead against his, nose touching his.
Guy's eyes fluttered closed, knowing the intimate implications of the gesture amongst her people. He felt her breath fan his face before something soft touched his lips.
Immediately he wrapped his arms around her, letting his palms gently stroke the strong muscles of her back as they flexed beneath them. He'd never tired of her, beautiful and feral as she was. There was a soft gasp against his lips and he gave a quiet little growl, pressing up to mold his body with hers.
He found his words despite wanting to just keep kissing her. The moment was too right to neglect however. It took a few long moments of trading kiss after kiss that Guy had an idea to put his lips to good use in a way he wouldn't need to stop. Trailing a few heated kisses down the soft slope of her neck, he mumbled, "Eep?"
She hummed, "Mhm?" It was hardly the most direct of words but he took it.
"You lit a fire in me when we met," Guy confessed though he knew it was obvious at this point. It was no secret despite the circumstances of their relationship's beginning, he'd been infatuated and found her cute. Scary habits despite that, of course. "And you were in my every thought since then, I really was hoping you'd call me, Eep."
"I really wanted to go with you," she said, pushing him away to graze a palm down his bicep, tracing a stripe fondly before finding his hand to lace their fingers together. Her touch singed him more than the embers behind him did from where he lay. "I just…"
"You came with me eventually though," he reminded her though found he needed to remind himself to focus when she lifted his hand to her lips to kiss his longer fingers. He closed his eyes, sighing. "You gave me something even better than any Tomorrow I thought I'd find out there."
"Even if you were a stupid boy?" She teased him through the haze, bracing her weight against his again. She still sometimes made fun of him for that but in the moment he hardly cared, caging her in his arms.
"Yes," he grunted, Guy would agree to anything she said right now so long as she kept touching him like this.
Their lips met again but she suddenly paused, her roaming hands no longer roaming. He huffed against her lips, confused and a bit frustrated that she stopped.
"Guy?" Eep murmured against his lips breathily.
"Mhm?" It wasn't an intelligible response but having Eep so close to him like this always rendered him a useless fool.
"Do you smell something burning?" Eep drew away, ignoring Guy's protesting whine as their lips no longer brushed.
"Just my love for you," he told her, sitting up with what he hoped was a winning smile.
Eep flared her nostrils at the smell and eyes widening looked past Guy towards their camp fire, having completely forgotten about the cooking boar during their recent activities.
"Guy, the boar is on fire," she exclaimed.
Guy in an instant scrambled to his feet to try salvaging their dinner. "Oh crap!" He ran for a waterskin and a blanket but to Eep it was probably a fruitless endeavor.
She was never much of a picky eater anyway. Sometimes some burning did a meal good, she thought, touching her lips with a grin.
#thecroods#croods#the croods#the croods a new age#the croods 2 a new age#the croods 2#croods 2#thecroods2#croods2#dreamworks#A Tomorrow of Our Own#croods fanfiction#the croods fanfiction#fanfiction#my writing#my fanfiction#eepxguy#guyxeep#eep x guy#guy x eep#geep
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Decided to just do another cover, since all three had one minus this one. Ngl, I traced Ugga and Grug's head shapes and stuff to get them on model bc fuck Grug is hard to draw, bodies were referenced from a photo and several screenshots in the movie. Also totally convinced Grug had plenty of hair until Eep was born and stressed it off to hell lol Below is the story that goes along with this story, featuring Grug and Ugga and a story about them in their younger days ~ - <3 - "Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I don't remember growing older When did she get to be a beauty? When did he grow to be so tall? Wasn't it yesterday When they were small? Sunrise, sunset Sunrise, sunset Swiftly flow the days"
"You know, Grug. Eventually, Eep and Guy, they're going to want to start their own pack. Just like we did, it's our nature."
Grug is confused about when his little girl stopped being so little, perhaps its time Gran and Ugga tried reminding him it wasn't too long ago he was just like Guy and Eep are now.
The Sun Was a Wayfarer - Series
<Previous> Flood and Flame <next> All I Can Think About
It was really hard sometimes for Grug to accept his little girl wasn't so little anymore. She'd always been stuck like tar to his side and would demand stories as a young child. The old cave walls were filled with tiny hand prints he never realized had grown bigger until Guy came along and forced him to be reminded Eep was indeed a woman. She was seventeen summers old and the fact wasn't lost on anyone who had functioning eyes in their head.
Fathers only saw with their hearts though and inside Grug's his daughter was still that rambunctious sweet little girl who needed him to protect her. That also included suitors.
"Grug you're brooding again," he heard Ugga say from behind him.
"This is just my face." Grug shifted his weight from where he sat lounging against his favorite rock.
"Trust me, I can see them just as clearly as you can."
Grug couldn't help but stiffen at her call out of his snooping. Was it really spying though if the two were out in the open? They were together by the beach with Chunky playing third wheel. The demanding feline squeezed his way between them when he felt they were being too touchy. Or maybe it was just Grug self projecting, his cat generally liked being the center of attention. Guy and Eep were fishing by hand in the water but it soon turned into a game of seeing who could out run the tide first whilst trying to knock the other down. Chunky kept getting confused by this activity as he shook droplets off his wet paws.
Eep was in the lead by at least seven points, it wasn't like Grug was keeping track though. "Why didn't you tell me sooner Eep was all grown up?" Grug side eyed his mate who just laughed at him.
"She's up to your shoulder and gives you a hard time like every teenager, I thought it was obvious." Ugga nudged him with her elbow, her small hands were busy threading a bone needle with sinew as she sewed new clothes for her family.
"Well… she was always a stubborn girl and big for her age," he quipped as he crossed his arms.
"And then she got that doe-eyed look when mister-you-know-who showed up." Ugga batted her eyelashes playfully in emphasis and folded her hands beneath her chin a moment. It was hard to keep a straight face, Ugga quickly laughed it off. Grug set his jaw in a very uncharacteristic pout.
"Never should have stuffed him in the log," Grug said with less heart than he actually felt. Sure, he enjoyed roughing the kid up sometimes and making a big show of being upset seeing Eep with Guy but in truth he was fond of the… guy. It was still his job as a dad to scare Guy a little.
"Oh don't say that, he's practically our son now."
"Does that mean I need to protect him from Eep then?" He kept the edge of hope out of his voice the best he could as he faced his mate.
Ugga rested her chin on her fist thoughtfully, she put the needle safely away as she watched the two lovebirds chase one another on the beach. "You might, honestly," Ugga said with a warm voice. "She's a handful."
He heard a startled yelp from the shore and got to enjoy the sight of Guy yet again face planting in the sand. Eep pounced over his toppled form, he was spitting sand from his mouth.
"Gotta be faster than that!" She shouted with a victorious smile.
Guy mustered the energy to mockingly look at her like he was bothered but the toothy grin that spread on his face afterward said otherwise.
"Lovesick idiots," remarked Gran as she hobbled over to join them. She watched Eep and Guy fondly despite her toughness. "What I wouldn't give to be their age again. Especially with a boy like him, where was he fifty summers ago?"
"Ugh, I don't need that mental image," Grug mumbled with a shudder, his face surly.
"Aw Grug. Don't you remember what it was like to be young and in love?"
"I do, and that's why I'm worried!" Grug jutted a thumb behind him and caught the confused blank stare Guy gave the group at catching their gossip. "Young and hot blooded , Ugga."
Eep went over to haul Guy back up by the scruff of his neck. She shot Grug an embarrassed and irritated look that was muffled by her wild mane of red hair. "Ugh… Dad, we can hear you!"
"Good! So keep your hands to yourselves! You don't want little Eeps!" Grug paused. " I don't want more little Eeps, one of you is plenty!"
Guy gaped at them like a suffocating fish, Gran guffawed and shook her head. "Let them be, lunkhead. Not like they'll do anything in front of us, eh?" The two younger children of the Croods clan, Sandy and Thunk, looked up in confusion from where they were busy playing with Douglas a short distance away.
Eep pulled the curtain of hair over her eyes and wished for the ground to swallow her. Guy rubbed the back of his neck at the narrow eyed look Grug shot him.
Ugga rolled her eyes and began to try shooing the old woman off. "Mom, please."
"Come now, it's my generational right to tease the youngsters." Gran reached forward with her staff to hook it under the back of Grug's pelt shirt. She jerked it up with more speed than a lady her age should have, causing Grug to choke a moment as he grabbed for the shirt collar. "See? Like that! Sides, I got plenty of blackmail about you two turtledoves too. Grug was pathetic ."
Grug eyed her with a pointed glare once he was free of her pesky walking stick. Gran was unbothered, only grinned a toothy smile as she flopped comfortably onto the sand. She glanced towards Eep who perked at the potential to embarrass her father for once. It was hard to miss the mischievous wink she sent her granddaughter. Grug didn't like the curious glint in those green eyes as his spunky daughter practically skidded to seat herself near Gran. Guy followed clumsily as she had a vice grip on his hand. How Eep hadn't pulled his shoulder out along the way, Grug would never know.
It wasn't long until the entire family were seated in front of Gran. Thunk had Douglas in his lap and Sandy was curled around Belt who cooed at the attention. Ugga gave her mate a look that was screaming 'you brought this on yourself', Grug resigned himself to his fate out of pride. Real men didn't run from such things and as the patriarch he refused to be cowed by silly stories of when he was courting Ugga.
"What was dad like with mom?" Eep asked as she leaned forward, grinning. She looked at Grug who just huffed.
"Like I said, utter mushy rotten fruit. You think Guy is tooth rotting, you should have seen your father in his day." Guy pouted at being the butt of the joke as usual, he cast his dark eyes at Grug. He smirked as if to boast at the boy, smug that he wasn't going down alone in this evening razzing. "I wanted to chuck a rock at him every time he came to see Ugga."
Some of Guy's pride was built back up again though when Eep fondly rubbed shoulders with him. Grug began to wonder if it really was self-projecting this time when Chunky nosed his way between the young couple for a snuggle. Guy looked startled whilst Eep just scratched the Macawnivore between the ears.
Ugga decided to play traitor this night. "Mom how about you tell the kids about that time when Grug went on that big errand you gave him."
Grug couldn't help but wince and gave Ugga a scowl. The little minx had the nerve to grin innocently at him despite the betrayal.
"Big errand?" Guy echoed, he was barely visible from under Chunky's massive form.
"That story is my favorite," Gran cackled with a devious gleam in her eye. "And see Guy, back in our day if you wanted to court a woman you had to do something for the head of the family! Gramp was dead so I got to pick the task. Bless that heart attack he had."
Eep and Guy shared a look before both teenagers gazed questionably at Grug. He fidgeted before rolling his eyes. "That was Yesterday stuff. Besides, Guy saved us from The End with all his weird ideas so… consider the tab paid off."
"That brain thing of yours is really useful," Eep agreed with a girlish tone.
Guy blushed red at the compliment but didn't shy away from it. If anything it just made him glow proudly. "There's more where that came from," he quipped and knocked his knuckles lightly against his temple.
Grug almost wished he'd missed the bright, lovesick smiles the two shared despite Chunky barring them apart to the best of his ability. The desire for his daughter's happiness won out though, luckily for Guy who beamed. Even protective fathers and clingy Macawnivores weren't enough to stop true love it seemed.
"Anyway… it's no secret I didn't like your dad. So I came up with the most impossible task ever to earn Ugga." Gran licked her dry lips as she grunted, "Of course Grug had to go and actually do it."
"What did you make dad do?"
"Told him to go get a hair off a naked molephant."
Guy blinked. "But naked molephants don't have hair."
"Well, this is Grug so of course the nincompoop found the one blasted molephant that had hair." Grug let himself puff his chest out like a peacock preening its feathers.
"Yeah, well, you should have known better when you set me out on a job, Gran." He gave his mother-in-law a catty grin, for now he could relish in a past victory that smarted her way back when.
Eep looked at her grandmother mischievously. "So… when does the story get good?"
Ugga snickered, by now she had abandoned her sewing to sit between Thunk and Sandy. Thunk leaned against his mother as the woman combed her fingers through his scruffy mop of hair. "When he came back with his tunic ripped apart by a tusk," Ugga interjected.
"Wow," Thunk said in awe, turning his eyes to stare at Grug. Grug appreciated at least one Crood wasn't laughing at him. "How'd you do that?"
Gran cocked an eyebrow with a chuckle. "Yeah Grug, tell them."
Grug crossed his arms moodily. "Just for the record, it was a real life or death battle getting that stupid hair."
"Ugga was sewing his left buttocks for weeks," Gran said with a slap to her knee, the memory made her lifetime, really. She lifted her bony hands up to gesture with those old curled fingers of hers a measurement. "He's got a scar like this—"
"— ANYWAY! Like I was saying," Grug grumbled. He turned his attention back to his family. He scooped up a clump of sand and clay from the ground below and drew a vaguely person-like shape into the rock he had been lounging on. Then he drew a beast with tusks and a long nose next to him. "It was a battle of life and death, there I was, twenty two summers old—"
It was pure spite that kept him going hours after setting forth into the desert. Gran was convinced he couldn't win her daughter as his mate, and so when the old lizard raised the stakes he was determined to prove her wrong. He would get Ugga, she was something special and worth more than daylight itself.
He loved her and if it took getting a stupid molephant hair to be with her then so be it. Gran had been making him jump through hurdles since the day he'd met Ugga, it was no secret they shared a mutual loathing for each other. It also came from the same selfless affection the two had for Ugga, though Grug would have thought knowing he made her daughter happy was enough for her. Growling under his breath, he wiped the sweat from his brow.
There was still a good five knuckles before the sun would set, he'd find it before then. Either that or he was going to face the dangers night brought—
“You? Staying outside at night?” Eep sounded doubtful.
“... yes ,” Grug huffed.
“See? Big mush,” Gran interrupted.
"Can I finish? Nobody interrupted this much back in the cave," he grumbled moodily.
—He was sure the beast was around here somewhere as he took a cautionary sniff of the dry, dusty air. Grug could see footprints inbedded in the barren and broken ground that sand didn't cover yet. Running onwards, he pressed his knuckles into the ground as he paced himself.
Grug crossed the desert quickly and ignored the aching in his palms and feet from the hot tough earth. He was built strong and a little pain wouldn't stop his pride. He paused when the scent grew stronger, flaring his nostrils he climbed up a nearby tree to survey what was around. The sun was strong against his eyes and Grug strained through the bright rays of light to see a dark speck in the distance. In a nearby canyon below, Grug finally found what he was looking for—
"What about never being afraid?" Thunk asked his father.
Grug looked at Thunk before settling his dark eyes on his beloved Ugga. "I was afraid," he admitted with a chuckle. "But I wanted to impress your mother more. Being stubborn and hormonal is a terrible mix."
"You stubborn? No!" Eep exclaimed with a teasing grin. Guy gave her a playful look from where he was walled by Chunky.
Grug made a vague gesture with his hand and he relished in the confused faces Eep and Guy made when Chunky pressed his full weight against both of them. Guy yelped for mercy as Eep tugged on the cheeky feline that was crushing him into the sand.
"Grug! Please call him off!" A large paw cuffed his head, Guy's words quickly muffled.
"Dad!"
Grug suppressed a grin as he went back to his story. "I found the molephant so what was next was getting the hair—"
Grug couldn't say how long it took climbing down that cliff wall to reach the level the molephant was at. It was risky and went against what Grug practiced in his beliefs. Caution and fear kept him alive this long, yet here he was about to go harass an molephant for some hair it might or might not have. Dread pooled in his belly and made him cold, going after more beasts was not how he wanted this to go. Breathing heavily through his gritted teeth, Grug crept as quietly as he could across the canyon. There were many tall and small rocks around that would provide cover should he need to hide.
Grug didn't have a brain, cavemen didn't use those. At least he didn't and it showed when he found himself running full speed away from a rampaging molephant. He relied on his gut instinct to weave and dodge its massive tusks that were swung at him. Grug scrambled and whenever he managed to get close, the creature stomped it's way towards him with a vengeance.
He bit back a curse when a tusk just barely ripped part of his tunic at his chest—
"—so this is when the story gets to the best part," Eep interrupted with a cheeky hum. She'd since rescued Guy from the weight of Chunky and had him cuddled protectively in her arms. She rested her chin on his mused up brown hair. Guy idly stroked one of her hands that were interlocked at his neck and chest.
"I thought it was always at the best part," Thunk quipped in a confused voice to his sister.
"If I say anything else I'm worried I'll become Macawnivore food," Guy said and tipped his head to the side with a huff.
Ugga smiled at her children as Grug shot them a look to be silent. "Look if you want to laugh at me can I finish this up then first?"
Gran reached her staff out to bop Eep over the head, her bushy red hair cushioned the blow. "Yeah, hush your tongue."
Eep huffed when she felt Guy trying to muffle his grin into her arm. Grug shook his head at the sight, feeling a fond nostalgia swell within him despite the protective instinct. He looked at Ugga and she just arched a brow at her mate. Grug turned back to telling the story, large fingers drawing more on the rock.
"The molephant was putting up a good fight but your old dad was better—"
—He was swearing aloud and screaming as he hung onto the tusk by his shirt. Grug was glad he didn't feel wounded but this was just a disaster waiting to happen. Even the molephant seemed dismayed at the fact he now had the man stuck on his face. It kept rampaging and Grug strained against the beast in order to sink his feet forcibly into the hard earth. Dust filled the air and with his innate strength, Grug managed to swing his body around to grab it by its tusk. The molephant slowed and leaned back to buck, swinging Grug off after a lot of effort.
He was thrown through the air and scrambled to find his feet as he rolled like a big boulder. Dazed, Grug just barely got out of the way of the molephant as it charged him. Panting, Grug finally saw the hair on its angrily swishing tail. It groaned in frustration and Grug realized the molephant had gotten its massive body stuck between two rocks. Panicked and running strictly on adrenaline, Grug reached forward to yank off a clump of hair from its tail. It trumpeted its distress, Grug began to rush away but there was the sound movement. He dared to look behind him, yelling out he did all he could to escape the incredibly pissed off beast.
It only took one stupid stumble to find that in that split moment he was thrown into the air. Pain flowered under his back and rump. The last seconds felt like they were slow motion as he landed harshly into a patch of huge, prickly brambles. Everything went blurry and before he knew it, there was nothing...
He'd awoken to darkness and the scent of blood in his nose. He was tangled upside down in a bramble bush and covered in an uncomfortable amount of burrs. There was also pain in his rear end and back, Grug noted with a groan. However the panic he felt for that hair won out his concern for his current state. He couldn't go back without that blasted hair!
He froze his struggling at a sound in the distance and cowardly he hunkered down the best he could whilst suspended in the air head facing down. However, it soon turned into a voice. "...Grug! Grug?!'
"Ugga?!" He whispered harshly and in the moonlight he saw the cavewoman trotting cautiously on all fours. "I'm over here!"
Ugga hurried towards him and gave him a worried once over. Grug grinned at her concern until she scowled, harshly tugging on his ear like he was an impudent child. "Are you asking for a death wish, Grug?! Look at you! I can't believe you took mom seriously!"
"...it's good to see you too, Ugga," he grunted, pressing a hand to his ear to drown out the headache she gave him.
Ugga circled him with careful gray eyes as she tried to figure out how to get him down. "You are lucky no hungry predators sniffed you out first before I did," Ugga continued to scold.
Grug stiffened at the mention of such a risk and reached an arm to grab her shoulder as if it would protect her. "You shouldn't even be out here," he grumbled back.
"I know but after hearing mom laughing it up with the tribe about this stupid errand I needed to find you," Ugga hissed, pulling away to give him another stink eye. "I'm so mad at you right now."
"Yeah well once I find where that dumb hair went I'll be the one laughing at her!" Grug exclaimed, wiggling in an attempt to dislodge himself.
"Would you hold still? You're just going to make yourself worse," she complained and began to tear at the thicket with her strong, calloused hands.
Grug, being the stubborn man he was, continued to squirm this way and that. "I can get down myself," he huffed.
Ugga threw her hands up in frustration before yanking at a cord of bramble. "You have a head made of rocks, Grug."
Grug opened his mouth to argue back before suddenly falling. He cried out when his head hit the ground, grabbing at his neck in pain of the impact. Nursing a bump that felt like some giant goose egg, Ugga examined his tunic.
She made a noise through her teeth in fret. "How are you not dead right now?"
"I don't know!" He said with a growl, shuffling to sit up. Everything hurt from his skull to his toes that spread out in the pulse of his blood. "But between you, your mom and that molephant, all of you are really trying to bury me!"
Ugga rolled her eyes and spun him around, she pulled up his shirt before Grug could even protest. "You're lucky," she sighed, relief warming her voice. "That molephant tusk missed a major arterie. Really ruined your tunic though."
He softened and reached a hand out to touch her arm. "I got other shirts."
"It's probably going to scar. Can you walk?" Ugga faced him once again, he couldn't help but frown as he watched her wipe her bloody palm in the sand. My blood, Grug thought with a pained wince.
The adrenaline of the moment and even beyond it was wearing off, Grug really wanted to go back to his cave to nurse his wounds and ego. "I think so. Um… help balance me?"
A smile lit up her face and Grug wondered if it was the blood loss or her that made him sway breathlessly. "Sure." Ugga offered her arm to him which he took.
However, he stopped with a groan. "Ugh… wait. The hair, I'm not going back without that hair!"
"Forget the hair, Grug. Mom will get over it."
"Oh no! Ugga, I'll never hear the end of it if I don't give her that stupid hair!" Grug let go of Ugga to try peering through the darkness on the ground, crouching on his knuckles.
Ugga put her hands on her hips. "What is so important about getting my mom this hair? Naked molephants don't even have hair."
Grug just stuck a finger at her triumphantly. "Yes, yes they do and I swear to the sun it's not just me getting loopy from all this blood loss."
"Grug, you're scaring me," Ugga said in a deadpanned tone, brows arched.
"That old lizard can't keep us apart anymore after this," he continued to ramble on and on.
"Grug…"
"If it's a hair that ancient fossil wants in order to get her out of mine for good then so be it," he continued.
" Grug!"
"What?!"
"If you want to be my mate so bad why don't you just ask me yourself?"
Grug stopped his frantic search and stiffened up like a ribbit being hunted by a liyote. He turned to face her and saw she looked disappointed, arms crossed over her muscular chest. "Um… excuse me?" He wanted to kick himself for stuttering, he wasn't a boy anymore.
"I'm not something to trade for, and the fact you actually went through with it astounds me." Ugga shook her head with a sigh.
Grug shuffled his weight uncomfortably, he'd never been good at addressing his feelings out in the open like that. Even if it was for Ugga whom he loved dearly. "I know you're not an object, Ugga."
"Then why ask mom?"
"I… I don't know. I guess… I got tired of her talking badly about, you know… us." Grug looked at her with a frown, uncharacteristically vulnerable.
Ugga reached out to cup his cheek in her hand as she stood in front of him. "Mom says a lot of things, you really need to tune her out."
He turned his head to brush his nose against her palm in a fond gesture, slouching. "She always says I'm no good for you, Ugga."
"Well, lucky for us mom isn't the one you have to court. It's me." She leaned back on her heels, still stroking his face with a gentle touch for a woman as fierce as Ugga.
"I'm just saying, getting her to shut up would be a win win to this mess." Grug shrugged his shoulders in a dismissive way, a small grin on his face.
Ugga rolled her eyes at him. "You and your manly pride are going to get you into trouble."
"If I'm already in trouble I might as well finish up," he quipped. Grug found his molephant hair amongst the broken debris the molephant had left in its rampaging wake, he’d lifted it up triumphantly in the moonlight. Ugga shook her head. “Okay, now, we can go back!”
When they returned, the sun had started to rise over the desert as dawn chased off the night. Gran had stood outside the dwelling she shared with Ugga, her scowl etched deep into her wrinkled features. The other families were creeping out of their dens in preparation of the morning hunt and foraging, their curious eyes were shocked to see Grug limping back into the canyon with Ugga supporting his hulking mass.
Grug shoved the wad of hair into Gran's face with a low growl, "Here's your stupid hair!" The old woman took it with muted shock for once, gaping mouth wide as she looked between Grug and Ugga. With a burst of adrenaline and pride, he looped his massive arm around Ugga's waist to haul her over his shoulder.
She gave a startled laugh, lightly smacking her fists into his back. "We're going back to this tradition, are we?"
"I gotta make sure your mom doesn't try anything again, you're as good as mine now," Grug huffed, limping with his Ugga secured in his grasp like she weighed light as a feather.
"You're too much, Grug."
"You've never complained before," he shot back with a grin.
"C'mon big guy, I think all that blood loss is affecting your head. Let me patch you up."
Grug headed for his cave, merry that he'd gotten Ugga and at the same time shut that awful lizard of a mother-in-law up. It costed him his pride, he noted, it was hard to ignore the snickering of the families around them. He only bared his teeth at them which seemed to work for the moment. Once his back was turned the whispering and giggling continued.
Ugga merely pressed her forehead into the back of his neck and it made everything better… least until Gran moved in but that was a different story for another tomorrow.
Grug finished his story with flourish, loosely drawing what seemed to be a lopsided circle around the two images presenting Ugga and himself.
"I like that story," Eep said, a bit dreamily as she looked at the pictures. "It wasn't really embarrassing though."
"It was if you were there," Grug scoffed as he wiped his clay covered hands on his pelt.
"Well, it still makes me laugh at least," Gran said from where she sat, cackling.
"You laugh at anything that has me getting beat up," he pointed out, surprisingly with a much more amiable tone.
"Not true, now that you learned some jokes I laugh at other things too."
Ugga smiled fondly at her mate, letting Thunk sit up so she could go wrap her arms around his bicep in a hug. "Thank you," Ugga said, rubbing her nose into his cheek.
Grug softened and felt his ears burn, giving her a small smile. His eyes fell to his audience and he couldn't help lingering on Eep who still had Guy draped in her lap. They were gazing at one another like nobody else existed around them for the moment, Guy lifting a finger to fondly boop her nose.
Ugga shook her head. "Let them be, you remember what it was like still." She patted his arm fondly with a knowing smile.
Grug huffed but said nothing, just reluctantly looked away from the two lovestruck teenagers. "I've been lounging around too much anyway." He tried shrugging off the blatant teenage romance going on right in front of him. "Since they're busy, dinner duty is on me now." The plan had been fish but he knew that failed disastrously from the word go.
He grabbed Thunk by the shoulder and the boy protested a moment, Douglas scampered between their legs as Grug lead the way towards the woodland hugging the beachfront. Ugga watched Grug go, sighing like she was a girl of twenty summers old again. She reached down to grab Sandy who wiggled in her arms, Ugga tucked her under her elbow without batting an eye over the feral snarling. She cast one last look at Eep and Guy before walking off herself, intending to put Sandy down for a nap.
"C'mon you little scamp," Ugga told her daughter. "You need all the rest you can get for when Dada comes back with food."
"Hey… where did everybody go?" Eep found a moment to look away from Guy to realize the clearing had been well… cleared out. Only one that remained was Gran, the old battle ax of a woman rolled her eyes.
Guy lingered his gaze on her still. "I don't know but you are still here so it's not a problem yet for me."
She fought off a smile best she could but failed at his widening one.
"About time the two of you joined us back in this world," she grunted in a teasing tone, her joints creaking as she pushed herself to her feet.
"Oh, hey Gran." Guy waved a hand idly in her direction.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Eep inquired, huffing.
"Oh, you know very well what I mean," Gran replied, stretching a kink out of her back. She gave a satisfied sigh at the pop, leaning comfortably against her stick. "Anyway lovebirds… I want my afternoon nap now. Laughing at Grug really wipes an old lady out."
"Hold on a second!" Eep exclaimed, springing up to her feet. She unceremoniously hefted Guy up in her arms as she did so, his dark eyes only startled for a second. "Why is that story your favorite, really?" Eep asked with a squint.
She put Guy back on his own two feet though clung to his bicep. He leaned against her solid form without a thought, it came as easy as breathing air. "You and Grug didn't seem to have the best relationship," Guy added thoughtfully as he looked at her.
Gran huffed through what was left of her teeth, shaking her head. "It reminds me of how foolishly in love you two are," she chuckled at the matching blushes on their faces. "Being so devoted that you go and do something stupid to prove it. I'd watch your back Guy, Grug knows he can get you to climb in Chunky's mouth if it means Eep is your reward for it."
"Eep isn't a thing," he sputtered.
Eep couldn't help but playfully jab his ribs. "I'm not a catch then?"
"Of course you are!" Even at her most gentle, Eep knocked the wind out of him and he was wheezing.
"See! That is what I mean," Gran cackled as she reached out to pat Guy fondly on the shoulder. "Lovesick idiot. Eep has you down pat. That's okay though, us ladies like a man who's easy to boss around." She winked at Eep and Guy.
She heard Eep's disgruntled scoff as she turned away, a mischievous grin tugging her old lips. "Do try to behave yourselves. Well, I'll say ta-ta for now, loves." Leaving the two to their own devices at last, Gran began to hobble off after the direction her daughter Ugga had gone.
Guy stared at the pathway until Gran was a mere speck and turned to look at Eep. "Am I easy to boss around?"
"Behave ourselves," Eep said, pouting. "She's acting like we have no restraint!"
Guy chuckled with a teasing grin, leaning down to brush his lips against the hinge of her jaw. She immediately melted. "Maybe she's kinda right about that, at least," he mumbled against her chin.
Eep nuzzled herself closer to him, feeling his breath fan her neck. “We probably shouldn’t prove her right, you know how Gran is.”
Guy just huffed and began to pepper her neck and face in kisses, Eep had no complaints despite her playful refusal. Rebellion just came with being young, even if the old codger would relish in teasing them later for it.
#thecroods#croods#the croods#the croods a new age#the croods 2 a new age#the croods 2#croods 2#thecroods2#croods2#dreamworks#grug#ugga#fanart#fan art#myart#my art#it's our nature#the sun was a wayfarer
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