#My partner Jim and I were out gay men

[remembertheplunge]

Ugly Betty says NO to Prop 8 (2008)

October 31, 2008

Jim bought a life size Obama (card board cut out)—it stands by our front door.

Neighbors in the last duplex across the street put up two “No on 8” signs and an Obama sign yesterday. 

The “Yes on 8” duplex across the street pointed their sign toward our house. Actually, they have two.   And they put up a McPalin sign after we put up the life sized Obama.

Ugly Betty, her Dad and sister did a “No on 8” ad last night during Ugly Betty, aimed at Latinos. 

It ran later, too.

Diane Feinstein also has a powerful ad “it will change the constitution. It (Prop. 8) equals discrimination.”

The Yes on 8s stole Troy’s  porch light.  They put it in their porch light. 

End of entry

Notes: 1/4/2025

You can see that Project 25 was already brewing with the advent of Proposition 8 and its ban on gay marriage which passed in 2008. 2008 is not that long ago. Even though Proposition 8 was later overturned and the right for gays to marry has been made a part of the California Constitution as of November 5, 2024 passage of Proposition 3, there are lots of people out there like our across the street "Yes on 8" neighbor mentioned in the above 2008 entry. They want to force us back into the dark pre Stone Wall days. In other words , they want us silenced, back in the closet and locked in forever. We have to "point our signs" back at them and say, no, we are out, proud and we are not going back. Once you see, you cannot unsee!

[imasimpcentral]

The Office lgbtq+ hcs (also posted on twitter but formatting will be different here lol)

Michael Scott

- cis, I don't think I could see him as anything else I fear

- he/him, but if he was asked he'd be very confused and would just be like "pronouns [pronounce] what?"

- bi, he never officially labels himself as that but we know damn well it's practically canon

- he is peak autism and I love him for it

- Ryan was bi awakening for obvious reasons

- I think he's kissed dwight before but refuses to talk about it

- Definitely had a crush on david at some point

- I don't know if he necessarily had a crush on Todd but he influences a huge part of who michael is he definitely likes him as more than a friend (not that michael will ever admit that)

- I was talking with a friend about if Dwight/Ryan were dating and just the dynamic of that and how michael would react

"You two shouldn't be together!!" He goes on this whole rant and tries to rally the office to his cause (which they don't) and he gets like so close to figuring out that he likes Ryan before he just let's it go

Not really relevant to headcanons just wanted to air that out lol

Jim Halpert

LOOK HOW PRETTY HE IS THERE

Anyway

- cis, honestly my gender hc for him switches a lot sometimes he's transmasc sometimes he's just cis whatever I feel fits in the moment tbh

- he/they, if someone asked him for his pronouns he'd probably only say he/him but I don't think he'd mind they/them too but again this changes for me too

- bi, in my brain it works

Also someone on twitter made a really strong case and they were talking about how ooc the thing Jim was keeping from Pam could've been him coming out as bi which I think would be a really cute concept

- I think Kelly helped him figure out he was bi as they are besties (I will make them besties trust)

- he has some freaky frenemies with benefits thing going on with dwight (with the consent of Pam ofc)

With that I'd say he's also ambiamorous he doesn't label himself as that but that's how I'd describe it

- he kissed ryan at a christmas party once

Kevin Malone

- cis, honestly can be pretty flexible with this I think it's fun to play around with transfem Kevin but not that realistic in canon

- I don't think he'd care much for pronouns but I personally really like he/she Kevin I think someone would accidentally use she/her and on him and she'd just go to Oscar like "wait you can use she/her without being a girl??" And that is his gender awakening basically

Oh also I think Kelly introduces to him to neos and he ends up liking cloud/clouds

- straight I don't know I can't see him liking men

- maybe has adhd??

- Angela and Oscar are the first people he goes to for everything (they ARE found family)

Ryan Howard

- you could hc him as any gender and I'd say yes but I'll just say transmasc, though I usually like genderfluid and nonbinary to describe him as well

- he/they/xe, kelly introduced him to neopronouns obviously my chronically online queer queen

- gay??? ace too?? Idrk he's super in the closet though

- he has kissed michael before and freaked out bc he didn't hate it

- Definitely had something romantic with Gabe

Pam Beesly-Halpert

- cis, though I'm not super solid on this though

- she/they, I think she'd make an extra effort as office administrator to make people wear pronoun pins and/or pronouns on their nametags so that they could be normalized in the workplace. Also in general I think she realizes there are a good amount of people who don't just use she/her and he/him so she wanted to be more inclusive. She is the hugest ally in the office.

- sapphic, kelly helped pam discover the term sapphic but she definitely had her awakening with Katy/Karen

Like she knows she definitely likes Jim but then she spends time with his partners and she's just like "wait am I jealous of her or jim?"

- while jim/dwight are fucking Pam and Angela also have a similar frenemies with benefits situation

With the consent of Jim obviously

(She is ambiamorous and labels herself as such)

- she's also autistic bc yes

Dwight Schrute

- transmasc and agender. I don't think he fully identifies as agender he simply just could care less about it's gender.

When explaining that to kelly (bc yes she is who everyone goes to when they're questioning their identity bc they've tried to talk to toby but he was so useless he basically defers everyone to kelly (also oscar will not answer those questions bc he can't be bothered)) she basically is like "so you're agender?" and it's just like "no I'm trying to tell you I have no gender!" "Dwight no-"

- it/he in professional settings it only uses he/him but like pam, angela, and Jim know he uses it/it's

Eventually everyone else figures out and they're just like "I've been using it/it's on him for years!"

- demiro; I think he very clearly falls for someone sexually very fast and will be like lowkey obsessed but it takes him awhile to actually fall for people romantically. I also sometimes hc him as nebularomantic since he is technically supposed to be autistic?? At least I hc it as autistic-

- pan, just makes sense to me 🤷

- polyamorous, as he's dating Angela he is also sleeping with Jim (with Angela's consent obvs)

Andy Bernard

- cis, I can't really imagine him as anything else sorry

- he/him and he's also a pretty big trans ally and he takes pronouns very seriously. He went to Cornell so he knows his english or whatever. He Will call people out when they hate on pronouns and use "I/We/Me" in the post.

- realistically? Bicurious

In my headcanon? Gay but so so deep in closet (it is glass though) due to his upbringing he has unfortunately repressed it just so much.

- had crushes on Oscar, Darryl, and Jim at some point, he would never admit these were crushes though.

- oh he's also autistic

Kelly Kapoor

- cis, though sometimes I transfem her

- she/her

- realistically bi but in my heart of hearts she's a lesbian with comphet

- she's dating Erin

- she's autistics with a special interest in fashion and celebrities

Oscar Martinez

- cis, not a hater of trans Oscar but I fear I can't see him as anything other than cis 🥲

- he/him, he also would get into arguments over pronouns and he would own the average transphobe by saying "actually-"

- gay (canon)

- autistic in my heart of hearts

- he refuses to catch feelings out of fear of rejection

- bc of this Andy has to be the one to confess first which is hard for both of them

Sigh gay men 😔

(TO BE CONTINUED I HIT IMAGE LIMIT)

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Finished Last Twilight, and I'm not adding to the ableism discourse, because most things have already been said and with a lot of beautiful nuance that I agree with. But I do want to talk about how that ending arrived because of Aof Noppharnach's consistent symbolic commentary on the experience of living with HIV in much of his work, with an approach that's unique among all queer content. Imma skip Gay OK Bangkok since its not even a metaphor there, but I'll explain my rationale for the others, and we can just appreciate the foundation Gay OK Bangkok lays for us to think about the rest of his stuff.

The motif of life-saving medical intervention comes up in all but one of the works he takes screenwriting credit on. He's Coming To Me: P'Med dies originally because of a lack of medical intervention. 1000 Stars: Tian gets a heart transplant. Moonlight Chicken: this one's more subtle, but the whole series is explicitly established in the context of reopening following the COVID pandemic, and Wen will later say to Jim, "we are survivors." It was this line upon rewatch that made me start considering how thorough this theme is. Survivors of what? The meaning is three-fold: hard lessons in love, COVID, and, for gay men of their age, the HIV epidemic. The hope of medical intervention for Day's condition takes on a secondary meaning, with this trend in mind, even if the mixed disability politics between visual impairment and being HIV positive really fails.

His comparisons are more intricate though. Pills and daily regimens are a consistent motif. Day has his daily eye-drops, Tian his pills (which are presumably immune-suppressants to help accept the transplant but I'm not going to Viki right now and watching every ep to find out so someone feel free to correct me). 'But people take medicine for lots of things,' you say. 'Just because its gay doesn't mean its an HIV metaphor!' You have a fair point! But here's where Aof gets real fun and sneaky. P'Med dies from lack of pills the same year Torfun, whose heart will save Tian's life, is born, 1997. I'm mentioned once before 1997 as important for the class-conscious Aof because of the Asian financial crisis that Thailand set off that year. However, 1997 is also important because its the year HAART, or Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy was first used in Thailand (it had hit the market only one year earlier). HAART, a multi-drug regimen, boosted someone's life-expectancy with HIV up by 15 years, and its side-effects were significantly milder than previous approaches. The medical conditions of P'Med and Torfun's heart point us directly to HAART, and what it could offer.

Now we're moving out of the medical and into the experiential connections because, while Dark Blue Kiss is the only work Aof chose to take credit for screen-writing without incorporating medical references, it is by far the most dense with references to the issue of concealment. Its in the narrative as people closet identities and hide relationships, yes, but its in SO much of the visuals, too, most obviously the Pete & Kao mug hidden inside its coozie. It's easy to see the surface story about gay visibility and the closet, but there's a more specific subtext here about the associated condition that intensified the stigma of being gay and how that impacts your sense of self. Bad Buddy explores this issue less, but even in the BL Bubble, its haunted by the stigma of homophobia--it just shuffles it over onto rivalry so the audience can experience it without reproducing it.

However, the grief and shame of surviving when others haven't haunts Aof's other works much more intensely. Jim and Tian both are hung up on guilt for someone's death that they did not actually cause, continuing to pursue the goals for those that passed rather than their own. Then, there's Thun and P'Med, which is the best allegory for living and dating with HIV, bar none. It goes into the feelings of stigma and the limits of physical intimacy with partners that living with HIV caused, especially prior to Truvada's introduction in 2004. Even then, the show depicts how a HIV negative partner maintains the choice to participate in their own regimens, as Thun's desires for physical intimacy with P'Med manage their relationship and never the other way around.

This sense of required separation and gay identities that are less sex-focused also play into oft-maligned motifs in Aof's work. He's talked explicitly about people's criticisms of the limited physical intimacy in his earlier works that led to the more prominent stuff in Bad Buddy, but I hope given the above context, we can appreciate why physical intimacy is less of a priority than other kinds (and I'd add that 1000 Stars, which got the most sh*t about it, is actually one of the most erotically-charged BLs out there because of it's restraint). Then, you have the finales where characters separate for periods of time, and while I don't see this as explicitly tied to HIV experiences (Aof is literally following the book of romcom beats there, even if everyone whines about it), I can't help but appreciate a tangential connection to loving beyond time and distance that was required for those who lived with or lost loved ones to HIV.

I would've loved to see a version of Last Twilight that didn't absolutely bungle its metaphor, because it had every element to be something great (except, I'm sorry to the fans, lead actors with the necessary queer romantic chemistry). Watching the last episode, when the show seemed to finally rediscover plot and pacing, all the other pieces that had been drowned out by the disability conversation peeked their heads out, and I saw what the show wanted to be. The topics related to living with HIV of stigma, survivor's guilt, and assistive technologies: they were all right there, not just for Day but for everyone, if only they had been given the proper time to marinate to develop more complexity. It's the rare instance of a show where I'll choose to spend time imagining what could have been rather than obsessing over what was or just moving on. Even a misstep from Aof, like this, is overflowing with so many more layers than most series. The failures of Last Twilight, in relationship to his other works, even let you see how much food for thought he's providing.

[divorcingjimmatthews]

time to inflict my jade and khatri AU headcanons on yall. jhatri AU masterpost

i hadn't thought about khatri in a while and that lovely ask brought back all the khatri thoughts please bear 🐻 with me

khatri is so repressed gay priest coded to me that i actually forget that's not a canon plot point most of the time

to me he's constantly having sexual thoughts about boyd that he is sooo deeply ashamed of, mostly because he believes that boyd is straight and would change the way he sees him if he knew

in any case with the dead wife situation boyd's got going on it's definitely just easier to push any lustful thoughts aside. until jade shows up :)

yall khatri was soo sweet and caring with jade!! and his reaction when jade flirted with him while high? kristi rolled her eyes, boyd slapped him away, but khatri had a fucking experience there, you cannot change my mind

pictured above: what could have been the start of a beautiful relationship if the writers were not so concerned with superflous things like "story" and "plot"

it might have been the first time in his life that another guy openly called him beautiful or looked at him like that. or it might also have reminded him of a boyfriend he had or almost had in his youth. take your pick. both work

also, we cannot ignore that jade is a really attractive guy and that he's literally handcuffed in this scene. it's such a peak meet cute come on look at them. look at their hands

now, i can see khatri going to check up on jade the next morning or a few days later. jade is completely alone after all so i feel like khatri would tell him that he can stop by the church if he wants. jade would just laugh it off and then be like oh you're actually being serious?

but he would go. not for his own sake but because tobey was catholic or something and he was kind of losing his mind when they buried him so he didn't get to give a proper goodbye. khatri does a little funeral service just for him and jade is a mess afterwards

they would sit and talk and khatri would ask him if tobey was his partner and jade would feel safe enough with khatri to explain the complexities of their situationship. khatri would share some of his own memories about loving other men in return

khatri is basically resigned to eternal unhappiness tm but jade is clingy and needy and entitled so he would find excuses to see khatri all the time. i stand by my belief that khatri couldve fixed jade. imo most of jade's bratty attitude comes from being defensive against what he percieves as threats but with khatri i think he would just feel safe to be himself

jade would obviously have a big problem with khatri being resigned to unhappiness tm and i think he would just rope him into projects like he did with jim and tabitha

they would have a lot of discussions about religion where jade would be a total prick but khatri would humor him because jade clearly needs the venting session and because khatri can really use a lighthearted break from his internal monologue of guilt and shame. symbiosis

obviously people would talk because it would make no damn sense. why is a priest going around collecting car engine parts

and indeed a big part of why they're spending time together at all is because they enjoy each other's company. just like with boyd the situation doesn't really work in their favor because jade is not really thinking about anything besides finding a way out of the town

one day some people are looking at them a little weird and jade knows that look so he gets really worked up and yells something like "yeah i'm fucking your priest if that's what you wanna know, can you move along now?"

as soon as he turns back to khatri he realises that he really fucked up, though. once they're alone in private jade apologises and admits that he said that because he kind of wishes he was fucking the priest but "listen, that's not the point, the point is that i'm really sorry, i shouldn't have said that, and i shouldn't have said that here, and... fuck"

"i'm just sorry, alright?" before leaving the church while feeling terrible for having fucked up that bad. sadly i think they... wouldn't really get to fix it? since jade would be getting sucked deeper into the whole visions situation around this time and khatri has the whole deal with sara going on

which is another reason why khatri would shut jade away. maybe jade would go try to fix things and ask to come in and khatri would have to tell him no. because he literally has his best friend's murderer locked up in the basement LMAO

if someone else wants to add to this or sees a way in which it could work please do add to this i am literally so starved and i have so many cute headcanons for them if they were together but i cant see khatri going for it so i just suffer

[chlochette-sunde]

1x08 - Bugs

Score: 2

OK, another 2-points episode but I guess I'm not the only one because even Kripke doesn't like it (also talked about by Tyler Johnston in R2's Then and Now). BUT there's still much to say and analyze!

First of all: parallels. It's very obvious here because of bad writing: Sam sees himself in the young boy Matt. They both think they're a disappointment to their father. Matt for being a freak because of his interest in bugs. Sam for wanting to be normal in a very strange family. They even share the same hairstyle (before Tyler Johnston comes back as Samandriel).

At the climax, Matt tries to reason with his father, as Sam did in the past with his own father (both times against Dean's advices) and both times ended up in strong quarrels.

In the end, Matt abandons his hobby (quite a harsh moral of the story because of bad writing and you should neve junk living animals, even bugs) and reconciliates with his father. And Sam wants to apologize to his father.

The dynamic with Dean is interesting: they have opposite views on their father. Sam thinks they had a jacked education, whereas Dean loved their childhood. But Dean watched his mother die, and knows their father is also deeply affected by it, when Sam was too young to remember it. Dean has developped a deep understanding of people: they sometimes do bad stuff out of love, and you gotta learn to love them back despite everything, because loved ones can die and disappear at any time.

Apart from that, two weird things happened in the episode: Sam drove the Impala half the time, and they used umbrellas (as noticed by my partner in rewatch @youchangedmedestiel). I guess they were still adjusting what Supernatural was.

1x08 in a nutshell:

Score in details:

Dean is bi: 3 pts

He watches Oprah, a talk show in which Ellen came out, and which received complaints for discussing the sexual act of "rimming". Sam doesn't.

When a real estate agent implies they look like a gay couple, Dean feels the urge to specify they're brothers. Sam doesn't.

And... how many straight men, with short hair, wear towels like this?

First introduction of beloved characters/guests/well known actors: 2 pts

Tyler Johnston (our future Samandriel) and Jim Byrnes (Highlander series ❤️)

Banger quotes: 2 pts

"Honest/Fun and easy. It's no contest."

"We had a plan, Matt, what happened to the plan?"

Bonus: 3 pts

Direction (RIP Kim Manners).

Sound effects. They save the episode. They make us hear what special/practical effects can't make us see.

The bees are well done, considering what they had to go through.

Malus: 8 pts. Yes. That was that bad.

The brothers park at Oklahoma gas & power company building and the first guy they meet happens to be the one they're looking for: Travis Weaver.

There’s the promise of seeing Sam going down the hole where a guy died. They even make a long dialog about it between the brothers. And then, the scene is skipped.

Sam is talking with Linda Bloome until he sees a spider about to reach her hand. He interrupts the conversation and she just goes like "okay!" and out of the scene. How rude of Sam. And then, Sam instantly knows who the spider belongs to. This is so badly written.

Linda Bloome's death is ridiculous. Her character is really gratuitously disrespected.

We can see the spiders are fake, made of plastic.

The brothers found skeletons in an unmarked grave, then don't talk about it while they're driving, but only once parked in town??

Students found skeletons and brought them to their professor and he just answers their questions? He doesn't redirect them to the fucking police?? And he knows how old the bones are by simply looking at them??

Dean is ridiculous with his bug spray. I can't believe the whole crew approved this episode.

One moment, it's midnight. 10min later, it's dawn. Fortunately, it's the end of the episode...

[indigovigilance]

Aziraphale, Kermit the Frog, and Fraggle Rock

Inspo from @crowleys-hips, images shamelessly ripped from original post:

The costumes and set design in the Book of Job episode were supposedly inspired mostly by The Ten Commandments but I’m ignoring that for right now because this is more fun. Now that I’ve written it, this is actually one of my dark ones.

Ready? Let’s go.

read on Ao3

The Frog Prince

[Source]

Kermit, created in 1955, was originally an abstract character without a defined species. He did not [officially] become a frog until The Frog Prince episode in 1971. At the same time, he gained his pointed collar. Kermit is not the prince in this retelling, but is one of the many frogs, who don’t believe that the Frog Prince is actually human and try to convince the Frog Prince that even if there is a curse, they don’t need to try to break it, being a frog is great!

Sing out for the swamp and sing out for the ooze The life of a frog is the life you should choose Sing out for the mud and sing out for the bog It’s ever so jolly just being a frog We love the old mud hole, we say that we soak The feeling’s so good that we just gotta croak The muck and the mire, the slush and the slime Are the reasons a frog has a wonderful time

It’s a very weird musical number. I have exactly one semester of music theory under my belt but it sounds awfully minor key to me.

It’s very much about bullying someone who doesn’t feel like they belong into conforming. Exchange “frog” for “angel” and we’ve got a pretty on-the-nose parallel story here.

Two Interpretations

First: Aziraphale is a prince among frogs whose unique identity is being ignored. The ones he has turned to for help are ignoring his pleas and insisting that their way is the best way, even though it is clearly not.

Second: Aziraphale is the frog! Kermit gained his collar when he finally began to solidify as a character with a set identity. Both of these themes apply to Aziraphale’s arc in Book of Job.

*topic change*

Jim Henson & Richard Hunt

Coming back to the extreme queer theming of Season 2 (God bless you GO production team) we have a nod to Jim Henson and Richard Hunt. Much like Pterry and the Notorious NRG, both men began their artistic journeys very young. Henson began in high school, where he began developing what would later become the Muppets; he continued his work on puppets on Sesame Street. He is the creator of Kermit the Frog. He’s also well-known for The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, other queer culture mainstays. Some years later, at 18 years old, Richard Hunt shot his shot and asked for a job puppeteering on Sesame Street in 1972; he got it. He would continue to work as a puppeteer with Jim Henson on the Muppets and related works until he died in 1992 at the age of 40 due to complications of AIDS.

Gone But Not Forgotten || Terry Pratchett

If you have not read my meta on Terry Pratchett’s representation in the Final Fifteen, I will link it at the bottom as well and highly suggest you read it. It’s not necessary reading for what comes next, but it is relevant.

Richard Hunt was openly gay and heavily involved in the New York gay community during the AIDS epidemic. He was in a relationship with a painter named Nelson Bird, who died of AIDS related complications in 1985. There is some speculation that Fraggle Rock Season 5 Episode 7 is an artistic representation of Richard Hunt losing his partner. In that episode, Wembley makes a new friend, Mudwell, played by Richard Hunt, that he abruptly loses at the end of the episode following a confession of mutual affection. You can follow the link below to watch the full episode. The final-fifteen parallel content begins at 12:30:

Gone But Not Forgotten (Fraggle Rock S05E07)

The loss is followed by a conversation between two characters that centers around remembering those who have been lost by keeping the things and memories they left behind, and the partner who [survived] goes through rituals of grieving.

If you scrolled past it but would like to read it now, here’s a link to my meta Terry Pratchett’s representation in the Final Fifteen.

[respectthepetty]

I love director Tee and cinematographer Jim. I'm getting them in Hidden Agenda, and now I Feel You Linger in the Air. Look at Jom imprisoned in his own emotions. LOOK AT THIS.

And the stars hanging from all the booths with barriers between him and all the merchants. Look. at. it!

I just love this filming pair so much, so let's hop into Jom and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

This show already has me scared.

This boss is a jerk, but insert a Titanic joke.

NO! Don't zoom in on the creepy shit! I don't wanna fuck with los espookys. Just give me my historical romance, damn it!

And now shit is falling apart right in front of our historical romance salad.

TWO YEARS?!

Men really ain't shit.

And she's smoking while pregnant!

Now an attempted sexual assault!

How quickly this turned into an episode of Club Friday Vice Versa.

I like Ming; therefore, I think he will do something out of desperation that he is going to regret because he is too poor to contour.

This thief is cute. Hopefully he is the "be gay, do crime" kind of guy, and not the "gonna ruin everyone's life" type.

A plumeria represents beauty and new beginnings, while the jasmine represents good luck, beauty, and love. This man is making a garland.

Men look so good in pastels. They could be a 6, but when they put on a pastel, they are a 9. This plant daddy was already a 10, so . . .

GET OUT OF THE WATER!

I didn't mute this episode because everything was pleasing to my ears, so the second episode will get the unmute treatment as well. It's Director Tee who always partners with cinematographer Jim, so the visuals are great as usual, and I don't just mean the men who are beautiful but the actual scenes were lovely.

I was already excited, but next week we have sensual wrist touching!

The next three months are going to be Obsession Autumn because I'm not letting one of these shows go. They are all mine, and I'm going to have to start liking the taste of coffee, so I can operate off of an unhealthy lack of sleep.

No Regrets.

[a-froger-epic]

do you think that the boys had certain views on familial dynamics especially in childhood? they all grew up in the 1950s with super enforced and strict gender roles, but they were also teenagers when counterculture began to become mainstream. what are your thoughts?

Hey anon!

That depends on what exactly you mean by "certain views". You mention gender roles, so I am guessing you probably mean in terms of child-rearing and women being responsible for house and home?

Yes, to some degree all four of them would have had that sort of family dynamic in mind when they were young men. Don't get me wrong, I can't see any of them being the type to insist their girlfriend/wife doesn't work and *has* to stay home, while they don't lift a finger. Not at all. You might be surprised, but looking at a street interview from 1961, for example, most men already agree that they should in fact be helping out with the housework. At least on weekends, haha. But equally, consider that in 1982, 43% of fathers had never (never!) changed a nappy. (This number was down to 3% in 2000, by the way.) Some things, like whether men should so much as be present in the room during the birth of their own child was still somewhat controversial until the 90s. God, I remember, when I was a teen in early 2000 Robbie Williams jokingly compared watching his wife give birth to watching his favourite pub burn down (as in watching her vagina tear, lovely that). What I am saying is that I can't imagine the boys would not have held a fair few beliefs about gender roles that we now consider wildly outdated. Of course they would have.

Take Freddie, for example. I have seen people twist themselves into knots trying to explain why he would have called Mary his "commonlaw wife", saying that he must have said it to make the press believe he was straight, etc. But I think the truth is much simpler. In the time when Freddie was alive, same sex marriage was simply not a reality. It wasn't even a dream. I don't think Freddie could have fathomed, at the time, that there was any other kind of marriage but that between man and woman. He called her his commonlaw wife, thinking "if it were not for the fact that I like men, she would be my wife". And don't come at me about him calling Jim his husband. Of course he did, in the same way some gay guys will jokingly and flirtingly refer to their husbands and boyfriends as their "wife" sometimes nowadays. As in, something that person cannot actually be, but the sentiment is there.

Also, it's hard to say what the boys' position on things like the woman being the bread winner might have been because their girlfriends and wives had no chance to be that. The Queen boys were rock stars, and boy, were they winning the bread. Recording albums, busy schedules, off on tour for months. What could their partners and mothers of their children do but, well, stay home and mind the children?

I hope I answered your question to some extent, haha.

Thanks for the ask!

[frooogscream]

Answering this way instead of in tags because I just NEED to include a picture for my first one

-Santiago (IWTV), I don’t know about the book version but the one played by Ben Daniels definitely has all the hot old trans guy swag. Every trans guy I know over 50 ether turns into a fluffy flannel clad cuddly bear or into this bitch (affectionate). Also the guy -while definitely being very hot and charismatic- is trying just a little too hard, he is definitely compensating for something and in my opinion it would be delicious if that something is his fear of being outed or internalised transphobia😌. Plus this throws a whole new light on -if Louis retelling is correct- his very first concern after being turned into a fucking vampire (!)being “can I be called Santiago”? That is his first question? And he didn’t even need to think about what a “cool new name” would be? It’s almost as if he thought about this before. And his birth name Francis is a male AND FEMALE name. Which ALSO makes Louis finding this out and using it to torment and mock him, along with the comment about Santiago having a small dick so much meaner and tastier :3 (One of his girlfriends, Eglee is also trans by the way, I mean just look at them⬇️, if this isn’t your average evil blood splattered T4T couple then I don’t know what😌)

-Gimli (LOTR) this is the other type of trans guy most of us inevitably turn into after 50 I was talking about. I don’t think I need to explain too much about him, we all know him, we all love him.

-Carlton Lassiter (psych), he is an autistic little guy, being a cop is half of his personality, he is a historic re-enactment nerd, he is having the worst time off his life, he loves his guns like his children, he believes that climate change is a hoax, he tries to set up his cop-partner with another women because it dosnt even cross his lil brain that his pansexuality isn’t the default, he starts of in s1 as the most law-loving everything by the book boring character and becomes increasingly unhinged in later seasons. And, I can not stress this enough, he is a deeply pathetic little looser man! I love him and need to conduct evil little experiment on him (I don’t because the show did that for me, yeay!) I just think we are making too many of the “cool” characters trans and to keep the ecosystem in balance every time we make a cool character trans should also hit a total looser with the trans beam😌

-Cliff Costello (Cucumber/Banana), I just in general love to see older gay trans men because I want to fuck them AND one day become them and this one is the most of all time the embodiment of that

-honourable mention (because I don’t headcanon him as identifying trans masc but purely as nonbinary) our beloved cheese boy Jim Caxton is nonbinary, using he/they pronouns, he simply doesn’t get the fuzz about “gender”. What the fuck is that supposed to be, can he turn it into cheese?

-Gomez Addams, obviously, who dosnt?

-Jareth the goblin king (Jim Hensons ‘Labyrinth’), well he is a fae-creature played by David Bowie… what more do you want me to say, and since they were fools and didn’t let him flirt with other men, I’ll have to take matters into my own hands and make him queer somehow😤

-Aziraphale (Good Omens), yeah angels might not be male or female and your “normal” Angel dosnt have much of a sense of gender but Aziraphale spend so many millennia on earth presenting and being perceived as masculine, he’s gotten used to this and over time figured out that he actually feels rather comfortable with it.

REBLOG AND TELL ME ALL YOUR TRANSMASC HEADCANONS

canon cis men... canon cis women......... I don't care! If you are giving them t-shots in your mind, let me know!!

obviously I will not be accepting transmasc headcanons for actual canonical trans characters, because they are all perfect just as they are! But beyond that... GO NUCKING FUTS 🩷

[gothamslostboy]

Asking for Jervis w/ male reader one bed troupe. I think it would be funny if he got all shy and blushy, and they woke up closer than they remember in the morning... Gay as shit for that man

A/N: I too am gay as shit for Jervis and love the one bed troupe. I know I said it’d be out tomorrow but I finished it early and don’t see the point in waiting to post.

You Need Better Pillows

Jervis Tetch x Male Reader

WORDS: 1,539

YOU JERVIS TETCH

He couldn’t believe this. It was HIS house. The mail was addressed to Jervis Tetch and still Jerome managed to convince him to share a room with one of the others. They all had to lay low for a bit, causing mass mayhem and killing people tended to make Jim Gordon the GCPD look for you, and Jervis’s house was the only one they didn’t know about.

Only problem: it is a 3 bedroom house, not 4. The other two rooms had twin beds and Jerome argued it would be easier to share his king sized bed then try to squeeze together on a twin. No he was rushing to tidy up his room while you three finished arguing about who got their own rooms.

Gosh he hoped Jerome won the argument, he really didn’t want to share a bed with a sadist who smells of sweat. Johnathan would be fine, the first thing he did once they arrived at the house was shower, and he didn’t seem like the type to kick or move in his sleep. If Y/N lost, oh my, there’s a possibility Y/N would be sleeping in his room tonight. Jervis’s pace quickened as he cleaned, mind & heart racing at the mere thought.

Y/N was the man who made him feel as though he was Alice, stumbling through wonderland lost and confused, still in awe of everyone and everything around. Before you, life was gray, dull, everything menial and slightly aggravating to do. The first day you were introduced to Jervis, standing next to Jerome & Johnathan, arm extended for a handshake, he began to see dull shades. Oh! As soon as your palms connected, it was almost breath taking how quickly grays turned blue, red, green, and ever other color under the Sun or Moon. Y/N was the perfect guy for Jervis, but he didn’t know if he could handle laying next to you, inhaling your perfect scent for hours. His heart might burst, and Jervis didn’t want to get your perfect skin dirty or risk waking you.

After the room was basically spotless, Jervis stayed pacing back and forth for what seemed like hours. What would he do if you were to sleep in his bed? Could you notice how he grinned like the Cheshire Cat next to him? Is it possible you’d return his feelings? Or would you be disgusted? Jervis never had the courage to as about your love life, if he discovered that his perfect partner was spoken for he’d have to hypnotize you into his arms, but he wanted you there willingly. Perhaps you weren’t interested in men at all? What would Jervis do then? He’d never force you to be a sexuality not belonging to you, but it’d hurt to much to live. Here goes his mind again, falling down the rabbit hole due to Y/N.

Ah ha! Jervis know what he’ll do, yes, he has the perfect solution, he’ll give up his room for you to share with Johnathan! Y/N L/N and Johnathan Crane are known by every “villain” in Gotham as completely platonic friends, best friends who do most everything together and have for years. Even before becoming rouges, the pair had been inseparable. He knows nothing will happen between you two, and you’d have to agree because then neither would be unfamiliar with sharing with the other. Yes, this will work nicely! Jervis strides over to his bedroom door, turning the doorknob and taking a few steps before bumping into something, or, as he discovered looking down, someone.

You let out a small woah as you fell, landing on your butt and peering up at Jervis, the annoyed glare disappeared from your features and a small twist in the corners of your lips taking over. Geez roomie, not even in bed yet and I’m falling for ya. Heat rose to Jervis’s cheeks as he leaned down to help you up, muttering apologizes before a slight rigidity shot through him.

Roomie? You had called him Roomie, which meant that indeed, Y/N and him will be sleeping in his room, in his bed, so close together. Wait- what else had you said? Jervis cleared his throat and turns himself back toward the room, hoping his face will return to its normal color before he must face you again. Ah, I’m assuming you lost the, what did Johnathan call it, “Battle of Sleep Conditions”? Yeah, turns out always picking rock is a horrible strategy. You shrug your shoulders as you follow Jervis, eyes darting around his room as you stop in the doorway, blissfully unaware of how panicked the man you’re conversing with is. A comfortable silence stretches over the room, well, comfortable for you. The quick gleams of your pupils and the subtle head nods are too inconspicuous for him to see as he scrambles to determine if your reaction is negative or positive. Instead of asking, his fingers intertwine themselves with they stringy ends of his throw blanket. Nice room Tetch, your place looks way better then whatever hell scape Jerome’s house is. Seriously, how’d he even come up with some of that stuff? Your words and small laugh let his shoulders fall and mouth exhale a small sound mimicking yours, white teeth coming into view. I’m not sure Y/N, perhaps the same way he comes up with all the horrors he’s created. Anyhow, thank you for the compliment, I’ve had to do quite a bit of redecorating since the old owners moved out. He sent you a slight exaggerated wink, feeling much better watching you gracefully travel about his room, fingers tracing faintly over the designs and engravings cluttering his possessions.

I supposed so, hey, is there a bathroom in this part of the house? I still have gunpowder on me and the one Johnathan used is waaayyy back there. You put down an old hat stand on his dresser to point left, the direction you had stumbled into him from. Of course, Jervis guides you to the side of the room he was on, this door here is to the master bathroom. Do you need anything? There should be all the necessary toiletries already. He pulls the door open and flips the light switch as he moves to give you a pathway in. Actually yes, if you don’t mind. GCPD got into the lab before I had a chance to grab my go bag, do you mind if I borrow so pajamas? I’m alright in this if not. A sheepish smile graces Jervis’s favorite face, and he finds it hard to speak over the deafening thump of his heart. Y/N, you can absolutely borrow something to sleep in, sorry the guards I got for you weren’t suitable for protecting your workspace. What would you like: silk, cotton, I have many different kinds to choose from. He scans the drawer of pajamas looking for a pair you’d like.

Don’t worry about it, guards lasted long enough for me to leave and that’s what matters. I’ll be good with just a T-shirt and boxers if that’s good with you Tetch, thanks a million! Once again tonight, Jervis finds himself hiding a blush for you as he hands over the clothing. Lovely Y/N will be sleeping in his bed, in his clothes, next to him! Hearing the water turn on, Jervis changes his own clothes and lays down, staring at the ceiling. While he ponders how the bed will be shared, his eyelids grow heavy. Despite trying to fight it, he succumbs to slumber before you can return, the days events catching up to him. After you finished your shower, you had quietly slipped under the covers on the opposite side, purposely leaving space between you and your secret crush to keep him comfortable.

Waking up the next morning, Jervis relished in the quiet. Seems he was the first to wake. He moved to stretch, suddenly feeling an unfamiliar weight causing him to freeze. Instead of a blanket, he found himself wrapped in Y/N’s grasp, head tucked under the other man’s chin. The panic and shock started to subside, though his embarrassment stayed. How had this happened? He fell asleep on one side of the bed yet here he is, cuddling on the other with a very much still asleep and unaware Y/N. Did he move over? Was he pulled over during the course of the night? Jervis remained as still as possible while he looked for clues to answer his many questions, but apparently not still enough.

You had stirred, pulling his back even closer to your chest & tightening the grip you had on his waist. Your pillows sucked, you’re too comfortable, go back to sleep Jervis. He heard your mumbled words and decided that maybe that was a good idea, so he began to get comfortable. He struggled for a bit before turning to face you, curling into your chest and letting a content sigh slip out, not seeming to notice the chuckle bouncing through you. With one last good morning , Jervis let himself drift off once more. More then happy to let his future self deal with the situation when he awakens.

[remembertheplunge]

So, the pilgrimage of faith continues

June 18, 2017 Sunday 9:15pm or so

In my room. Too hot in the living room. Still hot outside…just last light.

Drive to Sonny’s mini mart just past 9pm.  Bright star, molted puff cloud army, light green blue last light sky plus body glove heat—magical.

Jerad cleans and unearths treasures. Last night, they included tons of photo envelopes from Wallgreens. I went through a few tonight. Dan, Mary, my mother out of focus. Think I’ll keep ‘em. My family is out of focus. Period.

Ruth Ann, Jim , Margie, Dennis, all at one end of the group in one photo. They are all dead now. Amazing.

I worked 10-6. Flores transcript review and jail visit. It felt good. I can’t do that and worry about money. So, my work heals. I’ve missed it. Glad to be back to it.

We spent about $24 today, maybe less.$15 for gas. $2 for milk. $2.50 for Rock Stars.

Jared dosed.

So, the pilgrimage of faith continues.

End of entry

Notes: 1/9/2025

Jared was one of the homeless men that lived with me for a brief time in 2017. Between March and October, several homeless men stayed in my house for days over weeks at different times. Jared stayed with me in my house from June 6 to June 19, 2017. He had a heroin addiction and was getting methadone treatments to work toward sobriety. That was what he was doing in the above entry when he dosed. Eventually, his addiction overwhelmed him and I had to ask him to leave.

I was estranged from my family in 2017. That included my brother, Dan, his wife, Mary and my mother. That's why I said they were out of focus.

Jim was my gay partner from 1997 to 2009, when he died of liver failure. Margie and Dennis were Jim's mother and father and Ruth Ann was his cousin. I was close with all of them. They had all died by 2017.

My income was erratic in 2017. But, doing legal work in my law practice and having encounters with the homeless was healing despite low income.

[charliethedino-12]

LGBTQ+ Gotham Headcanons

My gender, pronoun, and sexuality headcanons for Gotham characters.

-------------------------------------------------------

Harvey Bullock - Cisgender, He/Him, Gay.

The GCPD isn't an accepting or supportive place to work so he sleeps with women to protect himself. He's trying so hard to come off as straight. I mean, he and Scottie were engaged within less than a year of being together. I headcanon Fish as his beard. He wants to kiss Jim so badly.

Oswald Cobblepot - Transgender FTM, He/Him, Gay, and Asexual.

He would be offended and confused if you thought he was straight. Oswald is very open about his identity and will beat the shit out of you for misgendering him. He doesn't care about sex but is fine engaging in it if his partner (Ed) wants to. Gertrude was the most supportive person ever and always gave Oswald unconditional love. When he was younger all he really wanted was to be a boy when he grew up.

Jonathan Crane - Transgender FTM, He/They, Gay, Demromantic and Asexual.

He knew he was a boy from a very young age. Realised he didn't mind using they/them when he was a teenager and started to use both he/him and they/them. He thought he was gay early on because of his lack of interest in girls but started to question if he was aroace when he got older. They realised they were demiromantic when he grew a crush on his best friend at the time.

Harvey Dent - Cisgender, He/Him, Bisexual.

I think he has a preference for women but only slightly. Definitely uses his two-headed coin to flirt with people and it actually works more often than not. Knew he was bi from a young age.

Ecco - Cisgender, She/Her, Lesbian.

She and Jeremiah are in a queerplatonic relationship. She could get a girlfriend if she really wanted but isn't interested at the moment. The most dedicated girlfriend you could ever have. Falls hard. Had an 'oh fuck' moment in high school when she realised she was a lesbian.

Sofia Falcone - Cisgender, She/Her, Bisexual.

Strikes me as someone who isn't focused on romance or sex but could get a boyfriend or girlfriend if she put time and effort into it. I think she has a preference for women.

Lucius Fox - Cisgender, He/Him, Gay.

Acts cool but is probably a gay disaster on the inside. Tries to flirt and is semi-successful when he does. Says he's too busy with work to find a boyfriend and is slightly lonely. Doesn't try to hide his sexuality and has no problem telling people he's gay.

Victor Fries - Cisgender, He/Him, Bisexual.

Preference for men. He isn't that open about his sexuality but still acts surprised when no one knows he's bisexual. Is very casual about it. I see him as a very quiet and respectful person when showing his attraction to both men and women and just prefers keeping his feelings to himself.

Nora Fries - Cisgender, She/Her, Bisexual.

No real preference for either men or women. Would try and flirt with women but it would be seen as something platonic. She and Victor had matching pride shirts.

Tabitha Galavan - Cisgender, She/Her, Bisexual.

Preference for women. I like to think the first person she murdered was a homophobe. Could pull any man or woman she wanted and no one can convince me otherwise. She either just kills any person who is homophobic or transphobic in her presence or beats the shit out of them as Oswald does.

Butch Gilzean - Cisgender, He/Him, Straight

Raised with respect. The two most important women in his life, Fish and Tabitha, were bisexual so he is very much an ally. Type of guy to tell somebody off for making an offensive comment, verbally or physically. He, Tabitha and Barbara were in a polyamorous relationship.

Jim Gordon - Cisgender, He/Him, Bisexual.

Preference for women. Growing up he had some internalized homophobia but he overcame it as he got older. He falls for any pretty girl who ever so slightly flirts with him. I think he likes men who are either mean with a soft side or just a bit of a bastard(Harvey and Oswald). He and Harvey are both in love with each other but are just too stupid to admit it to one another.

Barbara Kean - Cisgender, She/Her, Bisexual.

Male preference. Had some internalized homophobia until she killed her parents and became free. Went to an all-girls school where she had a few girlfriends before getting in trouble for dating other women. Probably pegged Jim.

Kristen Kringle - Cisgender, She/Her, Omnisexual, Greyromantic.

Male preference. To me, she only showed sexual attraction towards her boyfriends before Ed, even then I think she and Ed would've been better off as friends. She very rarely experiences romantic attraction but when she does I think she'd be a little awkward about it. Kristen definitely pegged Ed. She and Lee would've been cute together. They're very dear to my heart.

Selina Kyle - Cisgender, She/Her, Bisexual, Demiromantic.

Female preference. She's had crushes on both Ivy and Bridgit. Acts like she's annoyed by her loved ones but would kill and die for them. She's protective and caring even if she denies it. Has only had romantic feelings for her friends. She has trouble admitting her romantic feelings for people. Barbara and Tabitha are her badass bi mentors.

Fish Mooney - Cisgender, She/Her, Bisexual.

No preference. Flirts with everyone. Doesn't tolerate anyone's homophobic bullshit. The biggest eyerolls. The greatest gaydar in all of Gotham city. One look at Oswald and Harvey and she knew they were both lonely little gay men. Harvey's beard.

Edward Nygma - Transgender FTM, Genderfluid, He/She/They, Bisexual.

Preference for women. The king of internalized homophobia. His whole arc in the show was him denying his bisexuality and feelings for Oswald. The Riddler is sick of Ed's compulsory heterosexuality. Hated his female body and started to transition during uni. Ed was comfortable having a male body but didn't understand why he was only sometimes comfortable being seen and referred to as a man. This led to him discovering that he was genderfluid as an adult. Never told anyone until Oswald and only become open about his gender identity after he and the Riddler became whole in s3. The worst at flirting but simultaneously the sweetest.

Alfred Pennyworth - Cisgender, He/Him, Straight

Does his best for Bruce. And I mean does. Biggest ally you'll ever meet. If anybody bullies his boy for who he is be prepared to be slapped the fuck out of. All he wants is for Bruce to be safe and happy and if Alfred has to teach somebody a lesson in respect, so be it.

Ivy Pepper - Cisgender, She/Her, Lesbian.

Disaster lesbian. Had a fat crush on Selina when she was younger, and still does though slightly less. Her feelings have pivoted more towards Bridgit. The original plant lesbian. Oswald is her disaster gay role model. Expert in the language of flowers and gives personalised bouquets to her crushes.

Bridgit Pike - Demigirl, She/They, Lesbian.

Oblivious to people's interest in her. She never really got the chance to explore any romantic interest they had with the women in her life before being burned due to her home life. She doesn't really know how to deal with romantic or sexual feelings. They never really fully felt like a girl and felt that there was something else to them. So the use of they/them and she/her pronouns felt natural to Bridgit.

Jervis Tetch - Cisgender, He/Him, Biromantic, Demisexual.

Male preference. Had a fucking heart attack when he had his first male crush. He had no idea what to do. Felt so guilty about it. He's just kinda pushed his bisexuality down. He started to accept his bisexuality as he got older and fully accepted himself by the time Alice died. I see him as someone who thinks sex is intimate and I think he'd only want to perform sexual acts with a partner who he'd found a real bond with. Thinks he is really romantic but his lack of romantic experience says otherwise.

Alice Tetch - Cisgender, She/Her, Lesbian.

I don't know why I think this, I just do. It's just the impression she gave me. She and Bridgit could've been arson girlfriends. Always knew she was gay just never got the chance to have a girlfriend.

Leslie Thompkins - Cisgender, She/Her, Pansexual.

Growing up, she didn't really understand why gender was a big deal to some people, if somebody was attractive they were attractive, why did it matter? At university, she discovered what the term pansexual meant and realised that it fit her perfectly. Has three types, dark and badass (Jim and Barbara), sweet and adorable (Kristen) or a mix of the two (Ed).

Valerie Vale - Cisgender, She/Her, Bisexual.

Male preference. Flirts with her sources all the time. She and Lee gave me some gay vibes honestly. Nothing is more romantic than teaching your boyfriend's ex how to lock pick when trying to escape from her own home and a crazy man in a tophat.

Jerome Valeska - Cisgender, He/Him, Bisexual.

Chaotic bisexual with no preference. Flirts with almost everybody. Used to bully Jeremiah for being gay (not severely just little comments) and then cried when he had his first male crush when he was little. He's perfectly happy and open with his sexuality now, he was just a homophobic little shit instead of a gay little shit when he was really small. Never been in a real romantic relationship before so he's useless when it comes to real romance.

Jeremiah Valeska - Cisgender, He/Him, Gay.

Disaster gay. Always knew he was gay. Used to watch male guests at the circus from behind the trailers. Jerome made fun of him for it until he had his gay panic and joined him. Can't flirt for shit but tries his best. Touch starved. Kinda lonely. As I've said before he and Ecco are in a queerplatonic relationship.

Bruce Wayne - Transgender FTM, He/Him, Bisexual

Preference for women. Started to transition at the start of s2. Felt wrong being in the body of a girl since he was very little. The only therapist he's been to is a gender therapist from outside of Gotham. He's just a little sweetheart. He does his best to impress his crushes. Overall, he's just doing his best to cope with his romantic feelings for people (Selina). I like the idea of Jim and Lucius being his older queer role models.

Victor Zsasz - Cisgender, He/Him, Pansexual.

He just doesn't care what somebody's gender is. If you're hot you're hot and he's going to flirt with you. Very blunt when admitting his sexual and physical attraction. Difficult to decipher if he's into you or if he wants to annoy the fuck out of you when it comes to his romantic pursuits. Breaks into his crush's houses and does shit like drink all their milk. Clingy.

-------------------------------------------------------

What do you think of my headcanons, do you agree or disagree? Let me know! :)

I apologize for any mistakes, I'm dyslexic so proofreading is difficult.

[vampyre-lesbian]

Freddie was bi btw

i’ve been getting a lot of asks and comments saying Freddie Mercury wasn’t gay, so I'm just gonna answer this once!

it's a pretty common misconception that Freddie was bisexual; a lot of people tend to make that assumption because Freddie ""dated"" a couple of women before he met his partner Jim, but it's important to remember that just because he was ""dating"" women for a while doesn't mean he was attracted to them! it was very common during this time period for LGBTQ+ people to force themselves into more socially acceptable relationships; in addition to the homophobia that was normalized during this time, Freddie was also dealing with the added pressure of having extremely religious parents who were not accepting of his sexuality (one of Freddie’s boyfriends, David Minns, said in his book This Is The Real Life that Freddie was constantly worried about his parents finding out that he was gay and it really took a toll on his mental health).

societal pressure and internalized homophobia (combined with the pressure of fame!) forced Freddie to date a couple of women, but he was unhappy in all those relationships—he constantly cheated on Mary Austin with men, and in Rosemary Pearson’s book Life, Art, and Freddie Mercury: 1968-70, she said that Freddie used to cry during sex because he couldn’t stop thinking about men (bisexual guys don’t do that lmao).

once Freddie learned to accept his sexuality, he broke up with Mary and from then on he only dated men. in Freddie’s book, A Life In His Own Words, he’s quoted as saying “I’ve done all that but I’m gay. Mary was my last woman” and “Why, I’m as gay as a daffodil!” His close friends, bandmates, and even Mary Austin herself have all said that Freddie was gay.

tumblr user @rushingheadlong has a really good post where he breaks down all of the quotes that have been given about Freddie’s sexuality over the years! it’s really long but super helpful if you’re wanting to learn more.

@frottingwithfreddie​ also did a good job of explaining this, I think.

I hope this clears things up! I understand that bi erasure is a big problem in the community, but I also don’t think that anyone benefits from looking for biphobia where there is none. Freddie was gay, and he spent most of his life struggling to come to terms with his sexuality, so it is very important to me that this part of his identity is not erased. there are plenty of artists and musicians who are actually bisexual if you’re looking for a “bicon.”

[queen-thinky-thoughts]

Mary also told Jim Freddie was "waiting for him" right after the funeral... It just leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. And she also apparently told a newspaper she couldn't let Phoebe, Joe and Jim stay at Garden Lodge because her children wouldn't have any friends at school if they were associated with them. To me she really comes off as cold, selfish and lacking a lot of empathy.

The thing about her children not having friends if gay HIV positive men had been living at her house is definitely awful, but more so because it was true, sadly. There was very much that sort of attitude toward HIV positive people at the time. On the one hand, I absolutely think a different person would have criticised the attitudes of the time instead of simply stating them and would have fought to change people's minds - like Princess Diana did - and on the other hand, I understand her concern as a parent who doesn't want their children to be ostracised. Either way, it's clear to me that Mary was never cut out to be much of an activist or really anybody who stood up to anyone. She does not have that in her. Not everybody does.

And that comment to Jim? A cruel comment to make, evidently, seeing as it must have been made in a way that upset him. A lot of what reportedly went down after Freddie's death speaks to me of a whole lot of resentment Mary had toward her position in Freddie's life and also the other people close to him. I don't doubt that she resented his lovers, but not because she was a huge homophobe, or anything like that.

(Oh sure, she had and likely has some homophobic preconceptions, I don't doubt that from the way she's sometimes spoken about Freddie's lovers, though for me there is a difference between somebody who is maliciously homophobic and literally hates gay people/thinks they shouldn't exist, and someone who is generally LGBT-friendly/neutral but has some homophobic preconceptions. Imo, Mary is the latter.)

This is just my reading on a woman I don't know much about, but I think she resented Freddie's lovers and she resented his sexuality, because he ended their relationship but wanted to keep her in his life. Equally - and this is where we come back to Mary not being someone who is good at making a stand or perhaps even standing up for her own needs - she decided to stay in his life, too. She didn't leave and distance herself as much as she likely would have needed to in order to really emotionally uncouple herself. She stayed, and I think a part of her deeply resented that she stayed, that she gave so much of her life and energy to this man she did love, but couldn't be with. Equally, because she was so much in Freddie's life, but not actually with him, I think she became quite possessive of him and her role in his life. "You may be his lover now, but I loved him first", "You may be his trusted assistant now, but he's always trusted me", "You may think you understand him, but I saw him grow into who he is today" — I think all that was there. I feel like I can see some of that bitterness radiating off her even in that Garden Lodge Christmas video, although that's reading into things quite a bit, so I don't know.

Anyway, just on an emotional level, I understand her. I get how she must have felt, even while I absolutely think she was responsible for putting herself in that situation, though she may have felt like she had no choice. (There is always a choice.)

You know, it all fascinantes me endlessly from a psychological point of view, the dynamic Freddie and Mary had. And I feel like I know fairly little about Mary, on the whole. Certainly less than I know about the members of Queen or even Jim, I feel like.

And no, she doesn't strike me as a bad person based solely on some of her bad moments, no more than I would say Freddie was a cruel person for writing 'Don't Try Suicide' when his ex attempted/threatened to kill himself, or that all of Queen were irredeemable dirtbags for cheating on their partners on tour, or Brian is a despicable, selfish man for having an affair, etc. I don't think any of that. I just see everyone as human and flawed.

And yes, sorry, I went off on a massive tangent there. Anyway, you can absolutely think what you like about Mary. If she's a horrible person in your eyes, that's fair enough. I'm not actually out to convince anyone to see anything my way, but I'm genuinely interested in the analysis of things, just for myself, when I find that I don't quite follow other people's train of thought.

Thanks for engaging respectfully, anon!

[captain-lessship]

-If you feel comfortable writing for him-

Billy Hargrove x Hopper!male!reader x father!Jim Hopper

Hopper catching Billy making out with his son (R) and then R realizing that he just accidentally outed himself as gay to his very manly police officer father.

(I’m also blissfully ignoring that Billy is a problematic man whore and is just a trouble maker haha *cries*)

As someone who has been outed as a queer individual in a similar manner (My Dad saw me holding hands and kissing the cheek of my then partner ) this is what I needed.

also I think Hopper would be supportive but he would be scared for you and your safety. It’s the 80s and there was still stigma around this. I have linked two resources for anyone to read about how queer individuals, particularly gay men were treated (mainly due to the AIDS Crisis) and perceived and how the general views of queer people have changed.

UN: https://www.un.org/en/chronicle/article/hivaids-and-education-lessons-1980s-and-gay-male-community-united-states

Britannica: https://www.britannica.com/topic/homophobia/Contemporary-attitudes-toward-homosexuality

[freddie-mercury-rising]

I see commentary sometimes about Jim and Freddie where people say that Freddie would never had been with Jim if he weren’t ill, yada yada. Ok, so couda, woulda, shoulda. Would I be with my current partner if not for x, y, or z? Human relationships are complex at the best of times, let alone when two people already have the odds stacked against them: being gay in a world that all but hated gay people, being men in a domestic partnership, and one (and then both) having a fatal illness. Why are people so quick to demean what they had in order to assume it was a relationship of convenience. No one but they know how it felt to be in that relationship. They both got things out of that partnership. And no one on Earth can say what those things were, except the two of them. And we know already, from multiple sources, that they were head over heels for one another. Perhaps it would not have lasted at another time in their lives, but see...that’s the beauty of it. When two people meet at just the right time in their lives, they can create a special bond. Those same two people meeting ten years earlier may not have even given each other a second glance. A lot of the people who say nasty, baseless things about Jim and Freddie are not only homophobic first and foremost, but also lacking the complex fundamental understanding of human relationships. 

Anyway... that came out of nowhere. Resume normal activity. LOL