#My mom told me one once but I forgot how it went | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yanderenightmare · 5 months ago

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TW: yandere, noncon/dubcon, angst, unwanted pregnancy, blackmail, ish-baby trapping

PART ONE only avaliable on AO3 due to Tumblr restrictions

fem reader

You went cold and forgot how to breathe.

When you got to the kindergarten, they told you his father had already come and collected him early. All looking at you as though you were crazy, assaulting the daycare workers with your hands in a bruising grip, shaking her by her shoulders—demanding she tell you where he took him.

She spilled the name of some family restaurant down the road and said he’d wanted you to join them there. The poor thing was on the verge of tears when you let go.

Rushing out, you all but ran down the streets before pushing yourself through the doors—cold-sweating and swivel-eyed—in a panic, scanning faces with his name coming out weak under your breath.

With your vision spinning, you felt faint before you heard it.

“Mommy! Mommy! You’re here! Look! I’m King of the castle!” he shouted, and your peeled eyes snapped to see him up high in a bright red plastic tower.

But before your shoes could hit the soft foam of the playground, you were intercepted by something larger.

“He’s fine,” he said under his breath, catching and stopping you in your beeline, holding you by the waist. “I need to talk to you.”

Something old and instinctive didn’t bother paying him heed—as if forgetting how to speak, you just ignored him in favor of pushing past him, eyes glued to the sight of your son blissfully unaware, playing with other kids with an oblivious smile on his face. But his grip was stronger than your instincts, firm enough to keep you still but not enough to hurt you, even when you tried twisting yourself free.

“Come on,” he urged.

You were about to sneer something, finally looking at his face—that face you hated—but the bark of curse words got held back.

“Look around you. Let’s not cause a scene.” The wild animal within went silent while your eyes flickered around at the surrounding picnic tables where families were having their dinner. “We can talk outside. My assistant will look after him.”

You didn’t feel much inclined to listen, but still, even though it made you hate to fold on his behest—reluctantly, you accepted the sense of what he was saying. Looking back at your son still laughing up in his tower with cinched brows. You didn’t want to scare him when he didn’t know what was going on, even though you felt the need to scream at the very top of your lungs.

You allowed him to lead you outside, but as soon as the fresh air welcomed your rigid state, you were at once whipping around and pushing him away. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” snarling at him. “How fucking dare you?!”

“Calm down. He might still see us,” he hushed, hands raised in halfhearted surrender, casting a nod to the glass walls separating you from the frivolity inside. “Let’s just talk rationally.”

“Rationally?!” you scoffed in a shout, eyes still manic. “You fucking kidnapped my son, you psycho-”

“You wouldn’t answer my texts or calls,” he snubbed. “He’s my son too-”

“Fuck you,” you interrupted to return the favor. “If you fuck with me on this, I swear I’ll ruin you.” You had a finger raised at him, breathing furiously—looking down-right mad—sweaty and disheveled from your run with your face twisted with such a state of frenzy. “I’ll tell everyone how I got him in the first place!”

Despite the threat, he didn’t seem all that fazed.

“Think about it…” he said calmly, much in contrast to you. “Who do you think people will believe? A teenage mom abusing her son for a paycheck or his estranged father wanting to provide for him?”

You blanched, and before anything else made it out—whether it be more rage or something else, he was already further silencing you.

“Not to mention… the trial would be gruesome, and Junior would have to grow up with it always hanging over his head—is that really what you want?”

You look at him, and you still can't believe it. How could it have turned out like this? You’d been perfect only a month ago before he’d shown up at your apartment.

You thought you’d sent him on his way for good that day, but only now did you realize he had no plans to leave you alone.

“Come, let’s talk in the car. It’s cold, and you’re not dressed,” he ushered, taking your arm again where you stood, stunned and still, trying to wrap your head around his threats. Letting yourself be led into the black vehicle standing perfectly parked in its neat white rectangle.

You both got in the back with enough room to battle your homey sofa nook at home.

“I don’t want this to get ugly,” he started anew—his voice still so irritatingly calm, unfairly so. “I just want to see my son-”

“He’s not yours,” you croaked, feeling the situation slip from your fingers—battling a drumming heart, shifty breaths, and the mean sting of tears welling up in your eyes.

“If you try and keep him from me, I’ll sue for full custody. And given I’m the only one out of us who isn’t a pro-bono case and the only one with any future that isn’t managing a register, I’d say I have a pretty fair shot at winning.”

You can’t keep from bursting out crying then, overwhelmed by the fear of losing the only thing that mattered and the pure disgust of the man who’d given it to you. It felt like everything was tearing—your whole life—crumbling before your eyes.

“Don’t cry,” he soothed, his hand coming to drape your hunched shoulders where you held your tears. “I don’t want to take him away from you…” His attempt did little to comfort you, but the next words had your heart grasping for what little hope they offered. “And I’m not going to either.”

You looked at him through the hurt of swollen eyes, tears still falling while he wiped them away with the course pad of his thumb—rubbing your cheek affectionately. In any other circumstance, you’d surely slap him, but right now, all you could do was listen.

“I’m buying a house,” he revealed, still holding your cheek and gaze. “Fit for a family. Safe neighborhood, good school district, giant backyard.” The list went over your head—it was all too surreal to register. You couldn’t even fathom what he was getting at until, “I want the two of you to come live there with me.”

Stunned, you remained completely silent until the tears dried, and he let go of your face.

“You don’t have to say anything right now.” He reaches across you and fetches the seatbelt before coming back over you to click it in place. “I’ll go get Junior and drive you home. Just stay here.”

You do as suggested and stay seated as he pops his door open and leaves—feeling all but cemented in place as your thoughts go tumbling around and around as if caught in a rip curl. When Junior jumps in beside you, a farfetched smile is all you can offer. Thankfully, he’s so enamored by a toy he’d gotten to notice much of your state.

When your door opens again, you’re led out and onto your neighborhood street. The fresh air does little to clear your mind. Feeling all but feverish as you hold Junior's small hand in yours while the man of your nightmares smiles all too fondly at the two of you.

“I’ll come pick you up after your shift on Monday.,” he says decidedly—cheerfully as he ruffles Junior’s hair enough to make him giggle. “Bring the rascal with you, and he can pick his room first.”

You weren’t planning on staying. You were never planning on staying—certain you would leave the second the opportunity to skip town arose—you just need to scramble the money together first.

But the house was huge… nothing you could ever dream of, and while it made you desperate with grief, you couldn’t deny it either… Junior really loved having a dad.

It nearly brought sick to your throat to call him that. It was a shot through the heart every time you heard Junior’s boyish call, squealing with giggles, saying “Daddy, daddy, daddy-”

None of it seemed right to you. Seeing his bright smile, now at the age where a new tooth fell out every other week—looking so goofy as he proudly shows the two of you the new one he’d just knocked out playing soccer at school. “Mommy, Daddy, look!”

What’s worse is that you can't even deny how good the man you hate is at it all—spoiling him with gifts and making him laugh—giving piggyback ride after air-plane flight after tickle-fight and a game of tag and hide’n’seek.

And it’s not just the easy stuff. He’s good at the shit that used to make you go crazy—putting him to bed, getting him dressed, making him eat the right stuff, and not just scuffle down candy. It’s as if the two of them have developed a secret language you’re not a part of. If Junior weren��t a toddler, you’d even suspect he’d been bribed and told to do his best to make you lose your mind. But no, it’s just reality.

The man you live with drives and picks your son up from school as if he’d done it since he was born, goes with you to meet the teacher if and when he gets into trouble and helps the two of you pick out the right shoes—shoes that you can now afford, thanks to him.

“I thought I might sleep in the master bedroom tonight.” He says, leaning against the frame in the doorway.

You’d been living there a month now. He’d been generous enough to sleep in the guest room up until now.

You don’t know how to deny him. It feels as if anything you might say would just be ignored or threatened until you eventually took it back. You didn’t want him in your bed—you didn’t want him in the same house—in fact, preferably, you’d want him to be six feet deep in the dirt.

You end up not answering. But he’s used to that by now.

“I get it…” he says, taking steps into the room you’d wrongfully thought was your safe space. “You don’t trust me.” He sits down at the edge of the bed and reaches out across the sheets. You’re too late to pull your feet to yourself before he has one in his hand. He doesn’t do much but stroke it. “But you can.”

The sincerity in his eyes makes you want to gouge them out. It’s all been some cruel joke ever since you moved in—all the pleasantries and presents, as if trying to distract you from the past. Your wardrobe is chockfull of it, and so is Junior’s room—filled to the brim with lies.

“I’m never gon’ hurt you.” Another lie. “I did you wrong once, and I’ll spend the rest of my life makin’ up for it.”

You want to shake your head, laugh in his face—anything to reject it. But you’re terrified of what he might do if you didn’t play along. The threat of losing Junior is enough to make you cooperative.

“I know I’ve not been fair—pushin’ you into all of this so fast.” He gets down on his knees on the floor as if praying, right down beside you. “I took advantage of a vulnerable situation ‘cause I’m an impatient asshole—but I promise you—” He takes your hand in both of his. “If you give me the chance, I’m gon’ make our lives together like somethin’ outa’ a fuckin’ fairytale—all that happily ever after shit and more, just like you always wanted.”

The kiss he presses upon your knuckles beckons goosebumps to rise all across you. All his words feel like a bad script read by an even worse actor—in fact, this whole thing feels like a prank. And still, it doesn’t surprise you—he’s been laughing at you ever since you were children.

And now, laughing still, only with a fucking ringbox in his hand.

“I want Junior to see us as a united front. I don’t want him askin’ question why we ain’t sleepin’ in the same bed, why we fight behind locked doors, why you cry in the bathroom.”

He pops the black velvet lid and reveals something so outrages it almost looks tacky lying there in a plush bed of red silk.

“I want us to be happy.” He picks the little thing out and holds it up between his thumb and index, still holding your hand in the other. “I want us to be real.” You can almost see your life flash before your eyes as it threatens your ring finger. “Let’s make us real.”

You don’t say anything as he eases the tiny hoop on, sliding it all the way back until it sits snugly right at your knuckle—dazzling in the dark. A tiny tear slips down your cheek—equally dazzling.

He played some with the digit—a smile on his face.

“Looks good on you, Mrs.” As he calls you by his last name you almost shake the ring off as if it burned to wear, but it all gets lost when he rushes forward and locks his lips with yours.

You yelp against his mouth, kept from turning away by the large hand holding your jaw, threatening to seize your throat and squeeze. You remember how it had felt. You don’t want more of a reminder, so you intercept his tongue with yours before he forced it down your throat.

He groans at the warm welcome, and your entire body shudders in memory.

You hadn’t let anyone touch you since that time five years ago. It had left a poor taste in your mouth, and the hunger for it had never come back.

You choke it down now as he climbs on top.

♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Gojo, Naoya, Toji

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

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jpmarvel90 · 10 months ago

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Don't Belong pt 1

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Word Count: 8392

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: Y/n is the adopted daughter of Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff. However, when science enables her mother's to have twin boys who are biogloically both of their's, her relationship slowly changes. At 17 she's ready to move out and move on, is it too late for her moms to fix things?

Y/n's POV:

When I was 6, my life was saved by none other than the Black Widow. She came in like the hero she is and saved me from the hell that was Hydra. Whilst helping me to acclimatise to normal life, we grew close, and she was a mother figure I never had. I was so shocked when she told me that she wanted to adopt me.

It was everything that I could ever ask for. She was an amazing mom. Caring, loving and always there for me. She had this soft side that not many people got to see. To the world, and a lot of the team, she had this tough, steely exterior. But I never saw that. Not from the moment she found me. I always felt safe and loved around her.

A couple of years later, Wanda joined the team and soon enough, Mama fell in love. I never saw mama so happy. They had the perfect relationship and Wanda took me on without a second thought. When I was 9, she adopted me, and I had two loving parents.

We had quite a domestic life. Tony built us a separate suite at the compound so we could still be close by for when they were needed for missions. I loved having parents that were heroes. I was so proud of them. I ended up spending quite a bit of time with Pepper when they were on missions together, but when they came home, they always had a couple of days off to spend time with me to make up for being away. It was great.

Watching them make a difference in the world, was the reason I joined the SHIELD Young Initiative Programme. I wanted to be just like my moms. Steve became a huge support to me, and alongside him and mama, I was acing all my practicals and exams.

But before that, when I was 11, our family grew. With the help of Bruce and Tony, Mom got pregnant with twins, both biologically hers and mamas. Billy and Tommy made our family complete.

As soon as Mom got pregnant, Mama told Fury that she wouldn't be going on missions once mom got into her third trimester and that after the birth they both would be taking maternity leave. She also told him that they would only ever be sent on a mission together if it was to save the world. Otherwise, under no circumstances were they to go together. They wanted to be around for the twins as much as possible and didn't want them left on their own if they had to go on missions together.

For the first couple of years, everything was perfect. But when they became toddlers, they were a bit of a handful. It meant that mom's focus went to them and slowly I became less of a priority for them.

I found it hard as I was coming into my teenage years, and I felt like I needed my moms more than ever. But I understood at the start. I was old enough that I could look after myself and the twins needed more. But it got harder when every time I tried to talk to one of them, I was brushed off, or told to speak to them later. But later never came.

Once I hit 13, I was their personal babysitter whenever they needed it. Mama told me how they were trying to make sure that her and mom still had quality time together, so had a date night or day each week. Seems they forgot about quality time with their daughter. It got to the point I was expected to drop everything to be there for my brothers. Picking them up at school, taking them to soccer. It didn't matter what I had planned, I was expected to do my job for the family. I did it without complaining, because I thought if I could prove that I was a good sister, maybe they would start to acknowledge me more.

To try and prove myself worthy, I worked even harder for SHIELD. However, now I lost mama as my training partner. She was too busy with work or the twins to help me train. It hurt when she told me that but, thankfully, Steve stepped up more than he had. He became like a father to me. I could confide in him when my moms didn't have time. Though there were still things that I couldn't talk to him about.

Now I'm 17, working towards graduating the youth programme and into SHEILD as an official agent. We have our final exams coming up and I'm doing everything I can to be ready for them. The top two initiates will get fast tracked through the system and be able to go on missions sooner.

I want nothing more than getting that chance. I need to start making a name for myself and to stop being under my mothers' shadow. Once I wanted to be just like them, to make them proud. But now I know that's not possible. They have their perfect biological family. I was just the stray they took pity on.

"You know, you could take it easy today. You're more than capable of passing these exams even on a bad day. You'll be finishing top of the class and joining us for missions in no time." Steve tells me as he holds the punch bag for me. "I just want to be on top of my game." I tell him, hitting the bag as precisely as I could.

"Have you told your moms about the date for your final practical. I'm sure they'll want to be around when you get home." He asks, making me falter with my hits. "I did, but I don't think they were listening. Although they seemed to acknowledge it, Billy was showing them his Lego at the time." I share with him.

Steve knows what's been happening with my moms and the only reason he hasn't done anything is because I made him promise not to. All I need to do is graduate and then I can get moved into the SHIELD facility and start a new life without being a burden on my family.

"You know, you should talk to them. I know you've tried, but really sit them down and tell them how you're feeling." He tries once again. "It's been years now. If they really cared for me, they would notice that they barely see me anymore. I don't even remember the last time they said I love you." I respond, my hits getting harder.

"Ok, I'm calling this. You'll hurt yourself and then you won't even be able to complete your exams." Steve tells me, stepping between me and the bag. I sigh but know he's right. "Just try for me ok. Maybe after your exams. They'll be so proud of you." He pleads. "Ok, fine." I agree. "Now go shower kiddo. You stink!" He teases me before dodging a punch I try to land on his arm.

I smile as I head up to my room. As I walk into our apartment, I see the happy family sat together watching TV. "Hi moms." I call out when I enter. They don't even turn around, so I call out again, only to get the same response. I decide to go and join them but as soon as I sit down, I'm scolded by mom. "Y/n do you have to come in here like that. Go and shower will you." She tells me off. I look to mama who doesn't even glance in my direction. "Sorry, I was training for my final exam." I explain but once again, nothing. I let out a small humourless chuckle to myself as I leave the living room. Every day, I feel more and more like I don't belong here anymore.

__________

I did it! I actually passed! Not only did I pass, I topped the class. I think I even saw Fury smile. I'm so happy, nothing can burst my bubble right now. As a class, we all decide that we're going to celebrate tonight. We've been a tight group and it'll be nice to actually spend time together without having to study or practice.

I practically run back to the compound, smiling ear to ear. "Someone's happy." Steve calls out to me as I rush through the kitchen. "Someone might be your partner one day!" I call out as I keep on towards my destination of finding my parents. "Can't wait kiddo. Well done! Knew you could do it!" Steve shouts after me.

"Y/n, don't run!" Mama scolds me as I find them in the living room. "Sorry, but I have to tell you something that I know you'll want to hear." I apologise with a smile on my face. "Not now Y/n. We're about to head out. The boys just need dinner and don't let them stay up late." She tells me. That's when I notice that she's dressed up in her best jacket.

"I can't look after the twins tonight. Our class are going to celebrate." I explain, hoping she might ask why we're celebrating. But that would be wishful thinking. "Time with your friends can wait Y/n." She tells me without even looking up at me, too focused on her phone. "Can't one of the others watch them. Just for tonight. I've never asked before. But just this once. Please." I practically beg, but to no use. "Stop being selfish and just watch the boys." She snaps, making a lump form in my throat.

"Fine." I mumble, leaving the room and head out of our apartment. "Where are you going?" She calls after me. "To see Steve. Don't worry, I'll be back to watch your precious boys." I talk back whilst leaving, hearing her call after me.

I make my way to find Steve. I know he'll be excited with my results. I wipe at my eyes for the few traitorous tears that fell. "So, I hear someone will be an Avenger in no time." Tony says as I walk into the kitchen. "I think I'll stick with SHIELD." I respond. I have no desire to be a full time Avenger. I'll be around to see my moms live their perfect life without me.

"I'm proud of you kiddo." Steve smiles at me, pulling me into a hug. "Thanks, old man. I couldn't have done it without you." I tell him truthfully, squeezing him tighter. "Your mom's must be proud. Especially Nat. Now's the time for celebrating." Pepper says. "Oh, I'm babysitting the boys tonight." I respond, trying to hide my disappointment. I notice that all others share a look.

They have all noticed how my relationship has changed with my moms, but thankfully, never brought it up. "We could watch them. Let you go out with your class. I know how much you've been looking forward to it." Pepper offers kindly. "Thanks, but mama said it had to be me." I reply. "Sorry kiddo." Steve says, wrapping his arms around me. "It's ok. I better go back before I get into trouble. I just wanted to tell you all about the results." I tell them.

"Of course Y/n. We're so proud of you. I can't wait to work with you." Tony pats me on the shoulder, whilst the others all give me a hug. "We'll do something together tomorrow." Steve promises and I nod. "I'd like that." I reply, taking a deep breath before heading back home.

When I get back to the apartment, both mom and mama are waiting to go. "Good, you're back. We'll be home late." Mom tells me, turning to leave. "And we'll talk about your attitude in the morning." Mama adds on with a stern look before turning to leave. "I love you." I call out after them. No response. My head drops. I really have just become the live in nanny.

_________

The next day, I didn't have to face my moms in the morning. They had taken the boys to the park and out for breakfast. I didn't even get an invite. But thankfully, Steve is taking me for dinner tonight to celebrate the passing of my exams and my imminent graduation.

He's taken me to my favourite Italian restaurant. It's nice to have this time. Steve really has been the only parent I've had recently. I'm so grateful for him. "So your moms don't know?" Steve asks as I tell him that I've been told I can move into SHIELD accommodation in a few days. "I've tried, but as usual, I barely have a conversation with them anymore. They probably wouldn't even notice that I've gone." I admit the painful truth. "Do you think they even still love me?" I ask the question that has been haunting me for a long time now.

Steve looks at me with a sympathetic look. He reaches out and takes my hand. "Oh Y/n. I'm sure they do. They just got lost in the boys and have forgot, that even though you're a teenager, you still need them." He tries to defend them. "If you say so." I mumble, not believing him.

"Well, I have something that might cheer you up." Steve says, changing the subject. "Oh yeah, and what might that be Captain?" I ask with a smirk, making him roll his eyes. "I spoke with Fury, and he already has a mission for you. It's nothing too big, a simple in and out to get some data." Steve explains, making a smile grow on my face. "Really? Me on a mission already?" I question and he nods. "Fury would have had you on them earlier. You've been the best recruit the programme has seen. But he had to follow protocol. There is one downside though." He shares. "Oh God, don't tell me it's with my mother?" I ask making him laugh. "No, just this old man." He responds. "Really? I'm going with you?" I ask excitedly. "Yeah, you don't need me. But I wanted to see you in action on your first mission. I really am proud of you kiddo. I'm glad that I've had a front row seat to seeing you become the woman you have." He expresses honestly, taking me off guard.

The rest of dinner is lovely, and I have a really nice time. It's nice to actually have someone care about your achievements. However, that happiness soon disappears when I enter the apartment to two angry moms. "Where do you think you've been? You've not been answering your phone." Mama yells at me. I reach into my pocket and see that my phone is dead.

"Sorry, my cell died." I tell her, but that doesn't help. "So, are you going to share where you were without telling us? It's 10pm Y/n!" Mom now joins in. "I was having dinner with Steve." I share. "Until this late. Why would you be going out for dinner on a school night? Why didn't he ask us first?" Mama questions me.

"We went out to celebrate when I missed going with my class. And it's not a school night. The programme has finished now." I tell them, trying to keep my cool. "Is this about that party you couldn't go to last night?" Mom asks. "No, actually, it was having someone to celebrate with that I finished top of my class and am now officially a SHIELD agent!" I snap back, taking them both by surprise.

"You've had your final exams already?" Mom asks, stepping closer but I pull away. "Yeah, I have told you on a number of occasions. But apparently you don't listen to me anymore." I admit, feeling tears building. "You finished top?" Mama says proudly, but I just scoff. Her pride is too late. "Like you even care." I growl. "Don't talk to your mother like that." Mom tells me off.

"Like what? You haven't given me the time of day in years. Why do you suddenly care that I was out late. Was I not around to be your personal babysitter? Or were you just annoyed I wasn't there for the one time you noticed I wasn't around." I call them both out taking them by surprise.

"Y/n it was one night." Mom tries to deny more calmly. "No, it wasn't. It's always the twins this, the twins that. I have to make allowances for them in my life and stop what I'm doing to be there to babysit them. When was the last time that you spent any time with me? When did you last tell me you love me or even acknowledge me?" I shout, tears falling down my cheeks, as my parents stand staring at me in shock.

"I have worked my ass off with SHIELD so I can get in and earn my spot with them. Where I can have my own place and start a life for myself. Because I clearly haven't been a part of this family for a long time." I share how I've been feeling. I notice that both their eyes tear up. "Oh Y/n, sweetheart, that's not the case. Of course you belong." Mama tries to argue, moving closer with a shaky hand out in front of her. I don't reach out. In fact, I move away. "Well neither of your actions have shown it in the last few years." I point out, making mom cry harder. "Look it's fine. I get it. I'm not your biological child. Billy and Tommy are. I'll always be grateful for you saving me from Hydra, but you've got your family now. Don't worry, I'll be gone in a couple of days." I say sadly before heading to my room, my moms frozen in shock in their spot.

I slam the door shut behind me, locking it and falling onto my bed. I bury my head into the pillow and sob. All the emotions I've been bottling up come out. My whole body wracks with each sob as I realise, it's official. I really have lost my family now.

Nat's POV:

I feel the tears slowly falling down my cheeks as I realise that my daughter stood before me as a broken girl who thinks her moms don't love her anymore. By the time I come to my senses, Y/n is already gone, and I'm left facing my wife who is sobbing. "Have we really been putting the boys first so much she thinks that we don't want her anymore?" I say at a whisper, my voice getting caught in my throat.

"It's my fault. Things changed when I came into the picture, and we started trying for our own babies. We didn't even consider how that must have made her feel. We didn't even reassure her that we would still love her just as much, regardless of if the boys were ours biologically or not." Wanda responds.

I quickly move forward and wrap my arms around her. "It's not your fault my love. We both wanted that. Our lives are significantly better with you in them Wanda. But you're right. We should have tried harder to make sure we involved Y/n and showed her will still love her." I comfort her.

I can't believe that I've let Y/n get to this point. The day I found her in that cell, she changed my life for the better. She not only made me a mother, but she made me more human. She made me see there was more than being an Avenger. She is the reason that I who I am today. Yet I've neglected her. I got so focused on the twins that I didn't even notice how little I have seen Y/n.

"We should go and talk to her." I suggest whilst Wanda still clings to me. "She was angry. We should give her some space. Let's take her for breakfast in the morning. I'll ask Pepper to watch the boys and we can start to make this right." She counters. "But..." I start, not wanting to leave this longer than we have to. "This is our daughter we're talking about. She has your temper." Wanda tearily chuckles. "Hey!" I poorly defend. She's right though. She might not be biologically mine, but she is my mini me.

That night I don't sleep. All I can think of is every time that I blew Y/n off and decided to spend time with the twins instead. When did we stop doing things as a family? I try and think of the last time I trained with her or helped her prepare for her exams. God, how did I not even know she was taking them this week?! "Your thoughts are loud Detka." Wanda mumbles sleepily as she turns over to look at me. When she sees the distress on my face, she gives me a sympathetic smile. "She has worked so hard, and we didn't even know she was completing her final exams. She told us yet neither of us remembered or even heard her apparently. We are awful moms!" I sigh.

Wanda moves and pulls me into her embrace. "I know. I feel awful too. I'm so proud of her though. She finished top. She's just like you." She shares. "She's moving out." I realise whilst Wanda just looks at me confused. "What do you mean?" She questions. "She said she would be gone in a few days. She must have been assigned a room at SHIELD. Our little girl was ready to leave the nest and we didn't even know." I respond, another wave of sadness washing over me.

"We'll talk to her and make her see that she is still very much wanted here. If she still wants to move out that's fine, but she has to know that we love her and always have. We can't change the past but we sure as hell can make sure we change the future and how see feels." She says determined.

Neither of us really sleep. I think we regret not talking to her last night. But our tiredness soon takes over and we get some much need kip. It definitely won't do any of us favours when we talk to Y/n in the morning. She won't make it easy on us and I don't want to snap because I'm too tired.

When we eventually get up, we check on the boys and I go to ask Pepper if she would mind watching the boys. "Is Y/n not available?" Pepper asks with a humourless chuckle. "What? No, we're going to take her to breakfast." I respond, surprised at the bite to her tone. She hums in surprise. "I'll take the boys. Make sure you treat that girl. She definitely deserves it." She tells me firmly. I nod and thank her before going to get the boys.

"Everything ok?" Wanda asks me when I take Billy from her. "Whilst we've been failing to notice Y/n, I think everyone else has noticed our behaviour. It's very frosty down there." I tell her and she nods sadly. I guess we can't expect anything less.

It makes me wonder what could have happened if we didn't have everyone else around. They have clearly been supportive to her and been there when Wanda and I should have. What if she didn't have that support, would she have even still been with us?

Shaking off the thought, Wanda and I take the boys to the compound living room, where we receive a number of glares from the team that were there. Thankfully, nothing is said, but my guilt keeps on growing.

With the boys sorted, I take Wanda's hand and we head to Y/n's room. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. We wait anxiously but get no response. I try again, calling out to her this time. "Y/n, honey. Can we come in?" I ask, but once again, we're met by silence.

I look to Wanda who's got a concerned look on her face. "Sweetheart, we're going to come in now." Wanda speaks up and pushes down on the door handle. I'm surprised when it opens but that is soon replaced by shock when I see her room practically empty. There are a couple of boxes with her stuff in, but most of her clothes have gone.

I let go of Wanda's hand and quickly move into the ensuite to see if she's in there, but I'm met by more empty cabinets. Panic builds within me to know that she's gone. "Where is she?" Wanda asks as stands by the chest of draws, picking up photos that had been turned upside. She lets out a muffled sob when she sees they're our family photos. What have we done to our daughter.

"She's probably asked Fury if she could move sooner. Considering how much he loves her, I'm sure he would have done anything to get her in as soon as possible." I respond, letting out a sigh. "But she's only 17. She's still a kid." Wanda argues. "I know babe. But when she signed up, it was part of the contract that I signed as her parent. Besides, she turns 18 next week and we'd have no say anyway." I admit.

"Shit, is it already her birthday? We've done nothing to prepare for that. In fact, I'm sure we both forgot." Wanda exhales, running her hands through her hair, whilst I made sure all the photos were back upright. Though, I notice our last family photo was back when Y/n was just 15. We've got hundreds of photos with the twins, but it's been over two years since we've had a complete family photo.

Wanting to know that Y/n is ok, I grab my phone out and hit Fury's number. It rings out and I let out a sigh before trying Maria. "Romanoff." She greets me. "Hill, I was wondering if you could tell me if Y/n has moved into her room yet and if so where she's been placed. Wanda and I want to surprise her." I try my luck.

"I'm sorry, Y/n has asked that we don't disclose her room location at the moment. She has been allowed early move in, so will be in a position to share once the other agents are moving." Hill responds. "Please, Maria, I'm asking you as a friend. We really need to see Y/n." I plead, hoping she'll have sympathy on me. "And I'm telling you as a friend that how you treated your own daughter is unacceptable. Do you know why she was the best cadet to come through?" She calls me out. "No." I respond in a whisper. "Initially it was because she was trying to be just like her hero mothers. But she got even better when she was fighting to make her own name for herself to start her life over. I watched her personality change to become guarded and her walls built high. That's what you did to her Nat." She scolds me through the phone.

"I know Maria. We have fucked up more than we thought possible and we're trying to make this right. We can't do that if we can't even speak with her." I counter. "This isn't something you can just fix with a talk and a hug. This is years of you slowly neglecting her. Pushing yourself onto her is not going to help with that." Maria warns me. I know she's right. We'll end up pushing Y/n away if we're not careful. But I also know that I can't wait to fix this. I want my baby girl to know how much I love her. Despite my inability to show her these last few years.

Wanda and I spend the day trying to get any information on where Y/n might be. We get a lot of cold shoulders, and our questions often go answered. I even spend time hanging around the Shield accommodation to see if I can catch a glimpse of her. My lucks not in and I return home deflated.

When I walk through the door, a smile forms on my face as I see Wanda giving the boys dinner. "Any luck?" She asks. I just shake my head. "We'll find her." She says confidently. "When was the last time we had dinner with Y/n?" I ask, looking to Wanda who's looking at me sympathetically. "Detka, you are punishing yourself by think that." She scolds me lightly. "It's true though. She asked when we last said I love you to her. I've been trying to think, and I don't remember. How can a mother not remember when they last said I love you to their child. Have we really subconsciously disregarded her because she isn't biologically ours?" I share my thoughts, tears falling freely down my face.

Wanda quickly moves from the table, leaving the boys to carry on talking about the latest Nintendo game they're playing. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in close. "We let ourselves get lost in the boys. They were a handful and we were blessed with a daughter who was selfless and caring. Subconsciously, we took advantage of that. But that changes now ok." She responds as I nod in the crock of her neck. We really need to fix this.

__________

It's been a few days and we've still had no luck in seeing Y/n. Wanda and I decided to go to Shield to talk to Fury today, whilst the boys were in school. I head straight to his office, knocking twice before heading in, not caring if he's busy. "Romanoff, Maximoff. What can I do for you?" He asks, moving his gaze from the laptop in front of him.

"It's been long enough now Fury. The other agents have started moving in and Y/n is still only 17, so tell us where she is staying." I demand, my tone harsh. "I can give you her room allocation, but she's not there." Fury responds, just angering me more. "Then where the hell is she?!" I shout, only calming down when I feel Wanda squeeze my hand. "She's on a mission. She'll back tomorrow." He responds nonchalantly.

"A mission? She's 17 Fury! How is she already going on a mission?!" Wanda responds before I even manage to direct my own anger into words. "She is almost 18 and finished top of her class. You knew that was a possibility when you signed her up Romanoff. She has the potential to be the best agent we've seen. She is ready." Fury retorts, but I'm still not happy. "She's just a kid, she could get hurt." I growl, worry taking over me.

"Natasha, she is far from the kid you think she is. If you still trained with her, you'd see that she can almost beat Steve in hand to hand combat and her weapons skill matches your own, if not better in some instances." He points out and I realise how little I actually know my daughter right now. "Look, I'll keep you posted when she's back." Fury concedes after a moment silence.

"Thank you. Is she on her own?" I ask but he shakes his head. "Steve went to be on comms." He replies and that puts my mind at ease a little. He loves her like his own, he'll do everything that he can to protect her. "Ok. Thank you." I say, taking Wanda's hand a heading home.

"We've missed so much Nat. Y/n used to tell us everything about her training and classes. We've created an environment where she doesn't feel like she can share with us anymore. She was probably so excited to get a chance on her first mission. But instead of us being with her and making sure she's prepared, we didn't even know she had gone." Wanda agonises.

"I'm worried that we may not be able to fix this. If her walls have gone up, they'll be near impossible to knock them down." I sigh. "You had walls once. What helped you to let them down?" Wanda asks. "Y/n." I respond, my gaze dropping to my hands. "Then we find away to be the same for her." Wanda tries to comfort me. But how can the people that caused her this pain, be the ones to pull her through.

The next morning is quiet whilst we get the boys ready for school. They asked this morning where Y/n was and that they missed her. It broke my heart. Because of our actions, not only is Y/n feeling alone, isolated, and not part of this family, but her brother might lose the chance of having their sister in their lives.

When we get home, we end up just sat waiting for any news that Y/n is on her way home so we can greet her. I want to be able to hear all about how her first mission went and actually be apart of something so special to her. I may not have shown it, but I've always been proud of her. She is talented and I loved training with her. I had always planned to join her again once the twins were old enough. But I didn't and it seems that I have missed out on so much.

Whilst I'm preparing lunch, I hear Friday's alarm go off and my ears tune in. "Emergency medical team to the landing bay. Emergency medical team to the landing bay." I don't even think before I'm dropping the knife onto the countertop. I go to call for Wanda, but she rushes in from the bedroom. "Something's wrong with Jess. I can feel it." She says worriedly. "Let's go." I say, taking her hand and rushing through the compound to get to the landing bay.

Cho is waiting, along with a nursing staff. "Is it Y/n?" I ask as we come to a halt next to her. It feels like an age before she responds. A small nod of the head breaks my heart. "H-how bad?" Wanda asks, a tremble to her voice. "Steve confirmed a gunshot wound. She's lost a lot of blood." She responds. I run my hand through my hair, my stomach in knots.

It feels like the world around me has become muffled. I don't hear the orders that Cho is giving her team. Had I been able to, maybe I would have known more about her condition. My chest feels tight at the thought of her being hurt and the chance that she might not make it.

It's not until a pair of hands cup my face, that I zone back into the environment around me. "Breathe for me baby." Wanda's shaking voice tries to calm me. But the complete fear in her own eyes doesn't do much to help. We're facing losing our daughter and she doubts the depths of our love for her.

I do my best to bring myself out of this panic attack. I can't be a broken version of myself. My wife and family need me more than ever. If I can't pull through now, I'm not worthy to be a mother. "That's it detka. Deep breathes." Wanda guides me. I take one more deep breath and stand straighter. This isn't about me.

I can see a frown on Wanda's face form as she sees me put up my own walls. I know that she hates when I do this, but it's the only way I know how to get through what's about to happen without completely breaking down.

It's not long until the QuinJet comes into sight and slowly starts to descend on to the landing pad. I feel like I'm holding my breath as we wait for the ramp to lower, and we can see how bad this is. My heart is thumping against my chest as it begins to lower, and I see Steve's face first.

Cho and her team move forward, a bed waiting, whilst Wanda and I hold back. I want to be by her side straight away, but I also know that we'll just be a hinderance to her care if we insist on being with her.

When we get a full view of Steve, I hear Wanda let out a sob beside me. He's holding our unconscious daughter in his arms. His own suit is covered in blood and my eyes instantly land on the blooded dressing on her stomach. "I tried to staunch the bleeding as best I could. But it just kept coming." Steve explains. I've never seen him so shaken up before.

He places Y/n on the hospital bed and moves out the way, before staring at his bloodied hands. Cho doesn't wait before rushing Y/n off to the medical bay, the three of us closely following behind.

"Is she going to be ok?" I ask as they start to get to work. But before she has a chance to respond, the machines start to go crazy and they move even faster to help my daughter. "I can't answer that right now Agent Romanoff. I need to focus on Y/n, but I promise I'll keep you updated." Cho says, her polite way of telling us to leave. I'm reluctant, knowing that in this moment, Y/n is on the verge of life or death. But with a subtle tug of my hand from Wanda, I follow to watch through the window outside.

My gaze doesn't leave my daughter as I watch over as the team work to save her life. I don't notice that another person has joined us until I hear a bang from behind me. My head shoots around where I see Steve pinning Fury to the wall. "You told us it was empty! That all she needed was to get to the drive and out again." Steve growls at Fury who's holding his hand up in surrender. "I know." He responds, but Steve isn't happy when he slams him against the wall again.

"Then why the hell is she led in that hospital fighting for her life. There was a whole guard waiting for her!" Steve yells. This information makes the anger inside me grow. "You sent her into an ambush?!" I join in now, furious that he has put my daughter in danger.

"I didn't know! I'm as surprised as you are." Fury tries to explain, but Steve isn't letting up. "Talk!" Steve spits. "I had an agent scout the base for two weeks! Every report was how there was no activity. I would never have sent her had I know there was any more risk. It was supposed to be an easy mission for her first." Fury explains.

I can see the honesty in his eyes, and I know Steve does too. Fury has been like family to Y/n and I do trust he would never willingly put her in unnecessary danger. "So, either Hydra suddenly decided to man the base or..." Steve starts. "The agent tipped them off." I finish off as Fury nods. "I've detained the agent, and he broke within minutes. It was a perfect opportunity for them to fight you without back up." Fury shares as Steve lets him go. "Except I wasn't meant to go in. So, they were faced with Y/n." Steve concludes.

"I'm sorry Nat. I really am. I never would put Y/n in danger like that. I wanted her to have a successful first mission. One that would build her confidence." Fury apologises with a sincerity that he rarely shows. "I want to see him." I state firmly, to which Fury sighs. "Me too. It's because of him that our daughter is fighting for her life." Wanda steps beside me, her eyes glowing red. "Not now, not while you're both angry and worried." Fury refuses. "He could be the reason my daughter dies!" I shout at him, but he doesn't budge. "And he'll also be the reason I have to arrest you for killing him. If it's not you it'll be Wanda. I'm not letting either of you do that." Fury once again declines.

In a huff, I drop to the seat in the waiting room, my head falling into my hands. He's right. I will kill him if I get my hands on him. "Be here for Y/n. She needs you now more than ever. Leave the rest to me. I can promise that he will not get away with it." Fury orders, the formality coming back into his tone. We all reluctantly agree, and he leaves content that, for now, a homicide will not be occurring.

"What happened?" I ask Steve when the silence becomes almost unbearable. He takes the seat next to me and his gaze falls to his blooded hands. "It was meant to be a simple mission to test her hacking. I was in the QuinJet for support, and she was to go in, get to the mainframe computer and download as much data as possible." He starts and I nod along. "It was going fine, and she was doing everything by the book, clearing each room one by one. Part of me was sure she would be just like you and be impatient to get what she needed." He shares, with a small smile, making me chuckle. "Thankfully, she's a far better agent than I am." I respond, feeling Wanda's hand interlink with mine.

"It was as she got to the second floor, she said something felt off. It was warmer and it didn't smell as damp and musty. She said there were signs that this floor had been used recently. Knowing the risk that could entail, I told her to pull back and we'd get a team to help us clear the base. It wasn't something we should be doing on our own." He continues to explain, my anger towards the double agent increasing by the minute. But I also feel pride at how she was able to establish that something was wrong.

"She did as I ordered, but she was ambushed on her way out. I was already on my way in to meet her when I heard gunshots start. By the time I reached her, all the agents were down around her, but an alarm was blaring, and I knew others would be on their way. I grabbed at Y/n's arm, but she didn't move. As I moved in front of her, it was then I saw where her gaze was fixed. She's been hit. I got her out of there as quickly as I could and set the QuinJet to fly on autopilot. I tried everything that I could to stop the bleeding, but there was just so much. I-I...." Steve starts to crumble as he aggressively rubs at the blood on his hands.

I reach out and place my hands over his, stopping his actions. "I know you would have done everything you could Steve. We don't blame you. I'm so grateful that you were there to help our daughter." I try to reassure him. "I'm going to clean up. I can't sit here with...this on my hands any longer." Steve says, standing up holding his hands out in front of him.

Silence falls again when it's just Wanda and me. I want to look through the window again, but I don't think I can see them working on her. If she dies, I can't watch that. She looked so small as Steve laid her on the bed. "I had always hoped I'd be with her on her first mission." I speak up, guilt building once again. "Hmm" Wanda responds, turning to look at me. "When we used to train together, I always knew she would be one of the best the agency we would see. I couldn't wait to work along side her. My pride was overwhelming." I share as Wanda smiles softly at me.

"What happened? Why did I let myself lose sight of her. I have no excuse for treating her how I did. When I adopted her, I promised that she would always be loved and safe. Look at her now. I wouldn't blame her if she never forgives me." I lament, tears stinging my eyes. "It wasn't just you babe. We both have done wrong by Y/n and it's not forgivable. But we can work to earn her trust back and be the mothers that she deserves." She tries to comfort me.

"What if she doesn't make it and we don't have a chance to make things right? Or she does make it through, but she wants nothing to do with us?" I question in a panic. "I think she always hoped you'd eventually pull your heads out your asses." Steves voice takes us both by surprise as he rejoins us in a pair of sweats and a hoody. "What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"Fury loves that kid. If she had asked to move out sooner, he would have allowed her too. I think part of her didn't want to go just in case you started being the loving and caring mothers you once were. Ultimately, she was still a kid and desperate to still have you in her life." He clarifies. "But she had already gone. We blew our last shot." Wanda speaks up. "Maybe you're right. But if anyone is worth fighting for. It's her." Steve points out and I couldn't agree more. I know that I'll do anything in my power to make things right and hopefully prove to my daughter that I love her more than I can express.

After hours of waiting, too scared to even glance through the window, Cho comes out of the medical room with a solemn look, and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I feel my breathing pick up once again, the thought of not being able to fix everything with Y/n becomes suffocating. It's not until Wanda grasps my hand that I find myself zoning back in.

"H-how is s-she?" I find myself asking in a quiet, unsure voice. Cho sighs and takes the seat opposite us, her hands interlocked. "Y/n suffered a gunshot wound to her abdomen. The bullet went straight through her liver. We were required to remove part of her liver, to ensure we saved her life. This was harder with the amount of blood that she lost. However, we were able to stabilise her before repairing the damage done to her liver." She explains.

"So, she's going to be, ok?" Wanda asks to clarify. "It's going to be touch and go. She's extremely weak right now and the next couple of days are going to be critical to her recovery. If she can pull through these next few days, I believe she'll make a full recovery. Though it'll take a lot of rehab to adjust to the changes to her body." Cho confirms.

I let out a small sob, knowing that she can pull through this. I have to believe that she will make it through these next few days, and we can be there to support her through her recovery. "Will she be able to return to full field duties?" Steve asks, clearly agitating Wanda. "Really Steve. That's what you're concerned about right now?" She snaps.

He turns to look at us and I know exactly why he's asking. "The SHIELD programme is everything to Y/n. To lose it after only just achieving it, that will crush her." Steve defends. "I think she would rather be alive right now." Wanda snaps back. "You just don't want to face that the honest truth is that without this programme, Y/n will feel like she has nothing, and I hate to say it, but she won't be too happy about being alive." Steve shares, an angry, yet sad look on his face.

Wanda goes to argue back, a look of hurt washing over her face. But I hold my hand up to stop her. "He's right my love." I interrupt her, making her snap her head to me. "SHIELD was the only family she thought that she had after she believed that she didn't belong in this family anymore. It will break her if she can't carry on what she worked so hard to achieve." I admit sadly.

I lock eyes with Wanda, and I see her heartbreak even further, if that's possible. "It'll take time and a lot of hard work, but I believe that Y/n would be able to return to full duties within SHIELD." Cho chips in, reminding us all that she was still in the room. "But first, she needs to get through the next few days." She reiterates, making all of us nod.

"Can we see her?" I ask, desperate to be with her and to hold her hand. "Of course. I'll be in my office, but the nursing staff will monitor her hourly." She smiles at us and leaves us to it. I take Wanda's hand and lead her towards the door and slowly push the door open. I let out a gasp when I see my little girl led in bed. She has a tube down her throat and wires attached to so many machines.

I've seen many people in this situation. But when it's your own daughter, there aren't words to describe the pain you feel. How helpless you are to make them better. All you can do is sit and watch as you wait for fate to take its course. Praying that you get your daughter back.

I instantly move to take a seat next to her bed, taking her hand in mine and holding it tightly. I notice the bruising to her knuckles, showing she fought. It brings a small smile of pride to my face.

Wanda goes to the opposite side of the bed and gently places her hand on Y/n's head. "I'm so sorry moya Lyubov." She whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. "We promise we're going to make things right. We are so sorry that you ever felt like you didn't belong in this family. You'll never doubt this again!" I make promise to her now, one that I will repeat when she wakes up. Because she will wake up.

Part 2

#marvel fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #avengers fanfiction #marvel #avengers #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff #wandanat #wandanat x reader

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russellsppttemplates · 8 months ago

Text

Did you lose her? (Lando Norris)

Maybe it was never a change of heart

Note: english is not my first language. It's angsty with a happy ending, and it's also the first piece that's I've written that's based of a song, Stick Season by Noah Kahan. I hope I did it well enough! 🫶 also, it has smut, and if you have followed me for long enough, you know I don't usually do it, but I think it's these AUS pics 😮‍💨😌🥵

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: curse words, previous break-up and themes related to that, smut (mentions protected sex, hormonal contraception, praise kink if you squint at the whole thing)

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed

Doing the food shop was one one of the mundane adult life tasks you actually enjoyed doing. You had some music on your ears and walked along the supermarket, making sure you weren't buying too much outside of your list.

Tomato sauce and two packets of the instant noodles for when you didn't feel like cooking or were in a rush, you told yourself as you browsed through the aisle.

The scent should've been the first give away, but lots of people wore the same perfume. However, not all of them had the characteristic underlying scent that to this day meant comfort.

"Y/N! I wasn't expecting to see you", Cisca said as he placed the item she took from the shelf on her shopping cart, "goodness, how long has it been since we've seen you?", she smiled sadly.

Five months, you thought. One hundred and fifty two days since you and Lando parted ways and you shipped your belongings back to England. You told yourselves it was amicable and that you'd still be there for eachother, but you had published your first article and he had started his season without the other by your side.

"It's been some time, yes. How are you?", you wondered, "we've been good, you know how busy it gets around this time of year. But Savannah had their little girl, Athena - let me show you a picture!", she scrambled her phone out of her bag.

"Oh, how cute!", you cooed at the little baby bundled up in a pink blanket, "Mila is such a good big sister, too!", she showed you a picture with the two of them in Lando's lap, the baby tucked safely into his chest as Mila seemed to be showing him one of her toys.

Gulping and swallowing the tears that threatened to fall, you looked up at her and smiled, "I'm glad everyone is doing good - send Oliver and Sav my congratulations!", you nodded, hoping she would get the hint.

Storing her phone back in her bag, Cisca smiled, resembling the smile that you woke up many times to, "I will, darling. All the best for you, hopefully we'll see you around", she said before rubbing your back soothingly.

You found an aisle without people and allowed yourself to cry. Just for a little bit before you had to go back to pretend it didn't hurt still.

And I'll dream each night of some version of you

That I might not have, but I did not lose

"I'm on the podium, dad!", Lando yelled as he hugged Adam, cackling in excitement as he hugged the team who were there to celebrate and congratulate him.

"Congratulations, baby!", you yelled as Lando turned to hug you, arms going around your waist and pulling you as close as the safety barriers allowed, clicking open his visor so you could look at your favourite eyes in the world.

"I love you so much, Y/N!", he yelled back, winking before he went up to get weighed in.

On the podium, he looked at you like you two were the only people there, smiling up at him as he blew you a kiss.

"I knew you'd be on the podium, baby", you smiled once you were back in his driver's room, "How are you so sure?", he wondered, kissing your neck soflty.

"The development they're doing, your talent, Lando, I knew it was going to happen, and from now on, you better get used to being up there every single weekend", you smirked, kissing from his throat to his jaw and up to his lips, humming when his tongue poked at your lips begging for entrance.

It was hot and he was sweaty. His phone read 4:30am as he stood up against the headboard, finding the light switch so he wouldn't walk around the hotel room in complete darkness.

It was the third night in a row you showed up in his dreams. The first time, it was subtle as he dreamed about flying on plane and he was sure you were there. The past two, however, had you in there as a main character. He dreamed of walking in the paddock with you, of having you there to comfort him and knock some sense in his head when his P4 in qualifying didn't feel enough, and now you were celebrating his podium.

It's weird how his brain went there, how his arms and face felt like they had truly been holding you despite not having done it in months. Muscle memory betrayed, he thought as he poured himself some water and took little sips of it as he looked outside the window.

Fuck, he missed you. And not just for these big moments where he was on a high and wanted to share it with you or when he was do low you were the only person that could make him crawl out of the dark hole he snuck himself into. It's when he's making his bed back home and the other pillow remains fluffed because no one's using it, it's the mug you left behind and he doesn't have the courage to send back to you or give to someone else or when he sees something that reminds him of you and he gets it, hoping one day he can get them to you.

You once called me forever, now you still can't call me back

Lando sighed again as the call went to voicemail. It was the third time it happened in the last couple of hours. It was media day at Suzuka and they were having lunch.

"You know it's 3 am back in England, right?", Oscar asked bluntly, "when we were having breakfast, sure, you might have got hold of her if she was doing a late night, but I think you should wait", he reasoned.

Oscar was right. He didn't want to risk it waking you up even though he was sure your phone was on silent since you loved your sleep dearly.

"I hate this", Lando muttered, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. Oscar was aware of some of what had happened between Lando and you. The start of the season always came with new gossip and this one's was filled with rumours and conspiracy theories about the paddock's sweetheart and young couple.

Lando started driving in Formula One when he was nineteen, so they had seen his grow up through the years along with your relationship. At first, you were pinned down as his sister, then a best friend when they realised you didn't share genetics, and then you were his girlfriend. The lingering touches and big smiles they caught never rushed you to admit your feelings or put a label on your relationship, but everyone was there when you walked hand in hand on the paddock and confirmed the suspicions they had for months. Lando Norris and his best friend were in love and they all felt like proud parents as they watched you support him unconditionally every time you could.

"Did you lose her?", Oscar quesioned his team-mate as he picked on the food on his plate.

"I don't have her with me, have I?", Lando snapped and regretted it almost immediately.

Oscar put it down to tiredness, jet lag and the fact that he seemed a bit lost on how he was navigating the situation, "What I'm saying is, did you lose her? Did you do your absolute best to keep her with you?", he said sternly, "Used all of the options and possibilities and it still didn't work out? You don't lose someone because things fell apart in a stressful situation", he reasoned.

He was young but not dumb, truly.

"Feels like I have though", Lando added.

"What I'm saying is if you really want to know how she is and if you want to have an honest conversation with her, you have to make an effort. Not just calling and asking your mother to see if she's spotted her lately, or your sisters to check in your circle of friends whether or not she has moved on", Oscar lectured.

"Do you think I can do it? Do I have what it takes?", Lando confessed his doubts out loud. One of the reasons he had yet to act on it was because having a second chance wasn't for everyone and he needed to make sure it went perfect. You deserved that.

"You're a Formula One driver with deep pockets and a massive heart that still belongs to someone. What can't you do?", the young australian driver mused before he got up, taking his plate with him and leaving Lando pondering about what to do next.

I hope this pain's just passin' through

You sang loudly as you dusted the living room shelves, windows open to let the autumn air in. While cleaning wasn't your favourite thing to do, you had woken up with an urge to clean and given that it happened very rarely, you were taking it in stride.

So far, you found a receipt of a pair of jeans you were meant to return but gave your friends instead, a concert ticket and a bigger amount of dust than you'd like to admit. When you pulled the fabric strap, though, you knew that you wouldn't want to get rid of it. The lanyard belonged to one of the passes for one of the Grand Prix weekend you went to see Lando. Inspecting it closer, you realised it was his second home race, the Polaroid picture attached to it confirming the date.

It started with you joking about the fact that the pass was not the prettiest, so Lando hunted down the paddock to find a Polaroid camera, snapping a picture of you two and pinching a hole on it so you could carry it around and cover the supposed ugly pass. The photo was still intact, just a little dusty as you wiped it with your sleeve. Lando was kissing your cheek as you smiled impossibly big, eyes squinty and smile beaming because of the guy whose lips were on your cheek.

A single teardrop fell on the plastic covered paper before a few more followed as you sat down, looking at what you had once been and how things were right now. The missed calls on your phone led you to believe that maybe he still felt something too, but the potential heartache of trying again and it not working would hurt more than it already does.

The vibration from watch caught your attention as you read the two notifications. One from your e-mail with Qatar Airways written in bold and a text from Lando.

Qatar Airways

Thank you for choosing to fly with Qatar Airways!

Lando ✨️

I need you here with me, Y/N, please

I made the flight reservation for you, they will hold the ticket until two hours before the flight leaves, you just have to confirm with your passport ❤️

You promised me that I was more than all the miles combined

Heathrow Airport, 7th October 2023, 6:30 am.

You couldn't back out now, that would mean Lando would lose the money he spent to get you here in the first place. It wasn't by all means quiet, but your thoughts were loud enough.

You shouldn't be here. Why were you here? Why did you accept this, Y/N?

Because Lando needed you there.

Simple as that.

Boarding the flight, you smiled and thanked as the flight attendant pointed to the area where your seat was and where you would spend the next six hours and a half.

"I'm sorry, our seats are by the window", a woman in her thirties said as she bounced a little girl on her hip, making you get up so she could get to it, "thank you", she smiled, sitting down and buclking herself and her daughter to her body.

"Lyla, you can't go pulling on other people's clothes - I'm so sorry", she apoligised as the little girl pulled on your shirt's detailed button buckle.

"No worries, I know how restless they can get. You do the best for your baby. You're only responsible for yours and her emotions, no one else's on this plane", you offered her, remembering the times you would take flights and fully grown adults would go up to a stressed parent to let them know they could hear their crying child as if the parents themselves didn't know.

"My husband is somewhere in there, too", she chuckled, sometimes I feel I'm responsible for his too - accountantable in a way at least", she chuckled.

"You weren't able to sit together?", you wondered.

"My husband planned the weekend to go watch a race and come back, but we found some holiday days and we decided on a spontaneous trip. This was the only seat left they had", she explained.

"I can change seats if you want", you offered, "I'm flying on my own and I'll get to the destination all the same", you giggled.

"You wouldn't mind?", she asked, relief settling over her as she tried to see her husband, waving at him to come closer as you touched the button to call the flight attendant as the passengers were all sat down on your section.

"This lovely young woman says she doesn't mind switching seats with you", she said to her husband as you spoke to the flight attendant.

"No, there's no problem with that if you both agree", the flight attendant smiled as you got up, ignoring the frown on the man next to you who had to get up so you could swap, "bye bye, Lyla!", you waved at the little girl before her parents thanked you once again.

Finding your new seat, you put your bag under the seat in front and sat down, excusing yourself to the older couple next to you, "I just swapped seats with the gentleman that was here, I'm sorry", you smiled, hoping they wouldn't be too mad.

"Oh, he was able to sit with his family after all - I told you, Harold!", the lady winked at her husband, "I'm Francesca, you can call me Fran", she said sweetly.

Despite the early flight, they both seemed to be full of energy as they started telling you stories of their life and family, showing pictures of their kids and grandkids.

"One day you'll have all of that with the person you love, darling - if that's something you want, of course!", Harold peeped in, "our granddaughters are always telling me not everyone wants the same things!", he chuckled softly.

"It's okay - I would like that, actually", you smiled sadly as Francesca landed her hand on top of yours.

"Why does that sound like a confused heart, dear?", she commented, reading you like a book. The flight was closer to be three quarters of the way to the destination, so you still had some time to kill.

"A little bit; I'm actually flying over to see the person who still has this confused heart", you mumbled.

"Your eyes sparkle when you talk about him, dear - something tells me he's going to 'unconfuse' your heart", she smiled, "tell me about him".

"Godness", you chuckled, "He's kind, respectful, honest, goofy, cute, charming, loving, he's all that is good. We just lost our way, I think", you recalled, smiling at the thought of him.

"You'll find it back, dear. Life has mysterious ways but it has the right ways - I like to believe it does, anyway", the older lady assured, squeezing your hand in hers.

Waving goodbye to Harold and Francesca when you found the taxi bay, you requested to be taken to the paddock.

When you got there, you payed the kind driver before he helped you take your suitcase from the boot, "enjoy the race!", he smiled.

You were thankful all eyes were on the track already, making you cross the whole paddock and step into McLaren's hospitality quickly after collecting your pass.

"Y/N!", Zak said as he was the first person to spot you, "you're here, you came!", he smiled, hugging you tightly, "we're all very happy you're here", he said as he asked one of the team members to store your suitcases somewhere appropriate before leading you to the corridor to the drivers' rooms.

"Lando is inside, and the race starts in less than ninety minutes, so you won't talk all you need to, but it's a good start", he said, knocking on the door before he left.

When Lando heard the knock, he hoped it was you. Sophie and Oscar were great people, but in the last hour, everytime he opened the door, theirs were the faces he saw instead of yours.

"Y/N", he welcomed you into his room before closing the door, "I hope it's okay that I flew you here, thank you for coming", he said as he hesitated on giving you a hug.

Taking a step forward, you laced your arms around his waist as he did the same around your shoulders, inhaling eachother's scent and feeling like a weight was lifted off both of you, "I missed you so much, Y/N", he whispered before you pulled apart.

"It's not the first time you've done that for me", you fumbled with your hands, "although I was very surprised. We haven't spoken to eachother in some time, Lando", you sterned.

"Not because I didn't try", he bit bat with an ironic chuckle, "Why did you come here then?", he defended, taking your words as immediate offense and not taking a second to process them properly.

"Because even though we're not together anymore, you matter to me. I care about you! I'm not sure what monster you depict me as or that you imagine I've turned into, but I wouldn't dream of wishing you misery! If you call me and tell me you need me here, I'll be here because I care about you!", you snapped, "you have no idea how many times I wanted to give up and cancel this! Why am I here, Lando?", you asked.

You didn't expect him to react that way, not that you had a much better reaction anyway.

"Fuck, this is not how we do this", you took a deep breath as Lando held your hands in his, mimicking your movements as he did the same. Three long deep breaths, in and out, in and out, in and out.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that", Lando began, hands laced on yours still, "thank you for bring here, I needed you here because there's no one else in the world that can make me feel comfortable like you do, and I need that. I need to feel like myself - and I know it's a selfish ask to make you get up and drop your things to be here with me but-", you interrupted him.

"It's okay, Lando, you're okay", you cooed, searching for his eyes and hoping you'd get the message your mouth was failing to say through.

You pulled him to sit in front of you in the massage table, "I've been seeing all the podiums you've been getting - the team have done such a great job developing, and your talent and skills have brought it to the podium", you tried a lighter subject even though you were 99% sure of his worries.

"Oscar still qualified above me", he began, "He's a rookie and he's managed to do in months what I haven't done in five years", he allowed himself to express his feelings. After all, it was you.

"Oscar is not driving a tractor like you were", you shrugged your shoulders as Lando laughed.

"For someone who was invited last minute and got a pretty good pass, I'm not sure how the team would feel about you talking like that", he smirked, hand finding your own as he rubbed his thumb on your palm.

"I'm only telling the truth", you smiled, "and I mean it. I know how this sport works, but you shouldn't compare yourself to your teammate when the circumstances are so different", you mused.

"The team have been great and they still haven't said anything", he reasoned.

"Of course they haven't because it's something that happens, Lando. I was watching the highlights and so many drivers went over the limits because that's how this track goes", you stated, "there's only so much you can do and you shouldn't put all that pressure on yourself", you tsked, "I know you do, but you shouldn't", you smiled.

"You always know what to say, don't you?", he chuckled, "I have an inkling on how this here works", you winked and tapped his head with your free hand.

A knock on the door interrupted your moment as Jon opened it right after, "Lando, we need to start prepping for the sprint", he said before he turned to you, "Hi Y/N, good to have you back!", he smiled before he let you finish what you were doing.

"I should go, then", Lando trailed off, "are you going to browse around the paddock? I bet a lot of people miss you and your face here", he nudged.

"I came here for you, I don't care about anyone else", you smiled as you leaned over to press a kiss on his cheek for a few seconds, smiling against his warm skin before grabbing your bag and walking out.

Most of the team must've known you were coming since not many of them took a second look whenever you greeted them or entered a different area.

One of the media girls got you a set of headphones as she stood next to you, Oscar and Lando getting ready to go to the track.

His routine hadn't changed as your eyes followed him while he got dressed appropriately and safely for the race.

Before Lando put his helmet on he looked back at you, winking and smiling when you winked back.

When the gap wasn't closing in, you knew Lando would be disappointed with P3, not because of the place itself but because his team-mate had done better.

As you moved to a better spot to watch the interviews on the media pen, your heart felt like someone was using it like a trampoline, jumping and stomping on it as Lando spoke about himself with such a negative tone.

Surely, the interviewers were fishing for answers with biased questions and his mind took him there.

As you waited for him to be back to the hospitality, you got yourself something to eat, realising you hadn't done it since the plane.

Lando was beating himself up and he couldn't shake the bad mood he was in even when he thought you had travelled to see him and be there for him.

As Sophie gave him a quick debrief about his interviews, he stepped into his driver's room so he could have a quick shower and then head to the team debrief.

"It wouldn't hurt going up to her, you know?", Jon told him, ready to take any harsh words first if it meant you didn't hear them.

"I know it wouldn't, I'm just going to eat something and then I'll join the debrief with the rest of the team", Lando mumbled as he walked up to you.

"Hey", he said sitting down on the sofa next to you.

"Hey, Lando", you said, testing the waters and approaching his body until you rested your head on his shoulder.

"You are going to get your win, Lando. It's going to be an amazing weekend and it's going to be your first. Surely important, but you'll be a race winner and go on to the next race", you said as he seemed to be unsure of the tone you were going for, "as that will be a big moment in a long career - because it won't define it - this doesn't define you either, as a person and as a driver", you concluded, hoping to bring a little bit of his confidence and self-esteem back up a little.

"And you're going to be there?", he asked. He was feeling like shit and needed to know. It wasn't fair, but he needed to know.

"I can't make promises like that, not before we speak properly", you remarked, looking up at him from where you were, kissing his cheek and squeezing his hand in yours, "do you want me to stay here or should I go back to the hotel?", you asked. It wasn't the right time or the right place to talk about it.

"Could you stay here, please?", he said as you took your book out of your bag, knowing it would run long and you'd need some entertainment as there was only so much catching up you could do with the team when they're suppose to be working.

"I will, then", you said as Lando took the plunge and kissed the top of your head.

Ten chapters and a tea later, Lando tapped your shoulders, "I'm finished, are we ready to go?", he asked as you got up accepting his hand to hold as you walked out of the hospitality, grabbing your suitcase from the storage room and bidding goodbye to the team.

"I couldn't get a separate room for you, but the room I'm staying in has this living room area and the sofa opens into a bed, they said it's really comfy and they also left an extra mattress topper and some blankets", Lando said as he drove, "in case you didn't feel comfortable, I- I just want you to feel comfortable", he emphasised nervously.

"Lando, you don't need to walk on eggshells, okay? It's me", you smiled reassuringly as he stole a quick look at you before focusing back on the road, "sounds like a nice solution, fine by me", you reassured him.

Leaving the car to the valet and taking the lift up with you, you stayed silent until you were inside the hotel room, "That's the bedroom area, bathroom's here - and it has a double sink - and then the living room", Lando patted the extra linen folded on the sofa.

"Thank you", you assented, "would you like to talk now or is it bad timing? You must be tired f,-".

"Yes, please", he agreed immediately sitting on the sofa and making room for you to sit in front of him.

"I don't know where to begin", you observed after a while, "it's been tough being without you - I have been so used to having you there for me and to be there for you that nothing quite has the same meaning. I can live without you - barely, but I can -, that's not the question, but I don't want to", you manifested.

"We ended things because we had to, and it did us both well to see from another perspective - that's what it felt for me anyway -, but I want to be with you and to have you with me", he elaborated, "I don't care if you have to spend more time back home because of the distance, or come with me to the races because of the distance, too, I-".

"It was never about the distance, Lando", you interjected. You both used that excuse way too many times but deep down you knew it wasn't because of it.

"We'll work it out then", Lando suggested, "we'll work on us because knowing eachother doesn't mean we don't have to put ourselves first and keep investing on our relationship. I value you so much Y/N, I love you so much and I want to do this right", he whispered as if he spoke any louder would disturb the moment.

"I love you too", you smiled as you laced your hands together, "we'll work on it, together".

It was already late so Lando offered you the bathroom so you could shower and do your night routine first and then make the sofa bed to your liking while he did his night routine.

"Good night, angel", Lando said after you hugged him goodnight, kissing the top of your head before letting you lie down first since the light on his bedside table was the only one illuminating the room.

After you cocooned yourself in the sheets comfortably, you spoke up, "Lando, I'm sorry I didn't answer back sooner", you apoligised.

"It's okay, love, you don't have to worry about that", he cooed softly and you could hear the smile on his voice.

"I know it's not, but thank you for making me feel better about it, goodnight", you smiled, feeling hopeful about it.

The next morning, you were woken up by the noise coming from the bathroom, assuming Lando was showering inside as you stretched, surprised at how well you slept. Maybe the bedding was genuinely nice, the sofa bed wasn't bad to begin with, especially considering the hotel you were staying in, or maybe it was the fact that for the first time in months, you fell asleep knowing the person who your heart belonged to was more than happy to let you keep his, too, and he was in the same space as you.

"Good morning, beautiful", Lando smiled as he noticed you were awake already, "did you sleep well?".

"Good morning, Lan", you yawned, "I did, really well, actually. At what time do we have to be at the track?", you wondered. It was a night race, so the call up was later than usual.

"I'm leaving after breakfast, but you can stay and head there later if you want", Lando declared as you walked up to him, "I just need to freshen up and get ready", you smiled, kissing his cheek and heading for the bathroom with your clothes.

As soon as you arrived at the track, you took one of the back entrances as you knew Lando would spend some time with the fans and other drivers he bumped into, finding a nice spot on the lounge and going back to your book.

"I'm going to start race prep", Lando stopped by you in the lounge after a quick meeting, "I probably won't talk to you much until afterwards so I just came to check on you", he reasoned.

Getting up, you moved to one of the corridors, leaning up to kiss his forehead softly, "Good luck, my love, you're going to do so well, I know it", you smiled against his skin.

"I have my lucky charm with me", he smirked, kissing the top of your head before he got back to Jon.

From P10 to P3, Lando had an eventful race. Fortunately, and compared to the rest of the grid, he seemed to be doing fairly well as he stood in front of AC Units while replenishing the water he lost during the fifty-seven laps.

"I'm so proud of you!", you cooed as he got back to the garage, shaking hands with all the mechanics and engineers before he got to you. You hugged his sweaty body, not caring about it as long as you felt his close to you.

"They're postponing race debrief so I'm going to shower quickly and then we can get going, beautiful", he smiled, kissing a spot on your cheek very close to your lips.

Smiling giddily, you went to the bar area to get a bottle of water for yourself as Sophie walked last you, "seems like we will be seeing a lot more of you again soon - maybe Zak can also hire you as our lucky charm!", she winked as you shook your head, blood rushing to your cheeks at her words.

Back in the hotel room, it was your turn to freshen up and get ready to sleep. The spirits were high and you were feeling like the wait time was over. Your heart was healed enough as you sat on Lando's bed, "I'm so proud of you, you had an incredible drive tonight", you smiled as you moved closer to him as he sat on the edge, back against the headboard and one leg on the mattress while the other hung beside the mattress.

"It felt so good", he smiled, "thank you for supporting me", he cupped your cheek as he silently asked you for permission to kiss your lips. Lando couldn't waste anymore time as he pulled you to him so he could kiss you properly, your legs on either side of his as you straddled him, revelling in the feeling of being in eachother's hold as your hands played with his hair while his held your waist.

"As much as I'd love to continue this, I'm exhausted, baby", he rubbed your thighs, "it's okay, my love, I wasn't thinking of letting you do anything else anyway", you smiled, kissing his nose softly before you got on one knee so you could flop to the side and land on the mattress.

"Sleep here, yes?", he mused and you nodded, undoing the bed and getting under the sheets, his arm holding you to him and making sure he didn't let go.

As if you'd leave anyway.

4.30am and Lando woke up again. This time however, the sight he longed to see was right there. The you he had and had got back, cuddled up to his chest as your leg was hoisted up on top of his own and very close to his aching cock.

As he tried to change the angle so every time you moved, your smooth skin wouldn't pratically tease him, you stirred in your sleep, eyes opening as he tried to adjust your knee.

"Is everything alright, baby? Am I hurting you?", you said as you recoiled from his body.

"No, angel, no!", he quickly guaranteed, "I'm sorry I woke you up, it's just that your knee was very close to me and I was having a hard time dealing with it".

"A hard time indeed", you snickered as you felt his hard-on strained on his Calvin Kleins. Dating after being friends for so long brought an easy joking side to your relationship so much easier and funnier as you wouldn't get offended with most of what you said to eachother, "need help with that?", you smirked.

"But I wanted to treat you", Lando pouted, "Can I, gorgeous girl?", he whispered as he kissed up your neck once you whispered "yes", hands roaming on your body as he pulled up your nightshirt, finding your nipples and twisting them slightly to work your body up the way you did with his.

Your sighs and whimpers let him know he was doing a good job as undressed your torso, littering small kissed from your throat to your tummy, "you're so gorgeous, Y/N, I can't believe you're mine", he said as he blew a raspberry on your tummy, earning giggles from you before he licked up a stripe near your panties line.

"You know how much I like it when you wear your pink panties", he voiced as he touched you over the cotton fabric, feeling you pulsate already, "Do you like it when I tease you over your pink panties, baby?".

"Yes", you scrambled out betwen moans and deep breaths, "Oh my Goodness, princess", he cooed as you squirmed, "You want me to fill this pussy up?", he wondered as you let out a yes followed but a deep mewling sound.

"Let me take a little peek, then", as his fingers pushed the fabric down, a string of wetness caught in the material as he smiled, "Oh my Goodness, look at this pretty little pink pussy", he kisses your clit, "all of you, you're se beautiful, baby".

Rubbing the inside of your thighs with his thumbs, pressing the soft skin as he got rid of your underwear, "Are you going to let me fill you up?", he asked as he wouldn't do it without consent.

"Yes, please do it, Lan", you moaned, hand looking for his own to hold.

"You don't need to say please, my love - here", he whispered as he laced your hands together, "you'll always have me, you hear me? I'm yours, sweet girl", he smiled.

His hand that wasn't securely laced in yours helped you take his underwear off before he came back up to kiss your lips softly.

"Does it feel good when I tease your clit like that, gorgeous?", he smirked as he ran the tip of his cock in your sensitive bud, "Yes - uhg, baby", you gasped, looking into his eyes and swearing you could get lost in them had you not been in such a state of arousal as you were.

"You look so pretty like this, my beautiful, sweet girl", he praised as he saw your twitches and heard your moans at his words, "we need protection, though", he stated.

"I'm good, didn't see anyone else - you?", you wondered as he shook his head, "didn't see anyone else either - condom?", he asked, making you nod and separate so he could get it from his toiletries bag. Hormonal contraception left you feeling worse that it made your life easier, so you and Lando always used condoms.

Rolling it down his shaft, Lando climbed back in the bed and kissed your lips, adjusting himself before he entered you.

You whimpered as Lando slid inside you, a low groan escaping from his throat as he gently slid, taking your hand back in his and resting them next to your head on the pillow.

"You feel so good for me, sweet girl, so wet so warm, so good - aah", he breathed out, "so tight, my sweet sweet girl", he squeezed his eyes shut at the feeling of your walls squeezing him.

You stretched your arm out enough to pull his face closer to yours, kissing his jaw and then his lips before whispering "you can move, love".

Lando pulled back slowly, thrusting in gently to begin with and savouring how you felt around him.

"I love you", you muttered into his neck between moans as he picked up the pace, thrusting into you faster, harder and deeper.

"I'm close", Lando groaned as he felt your walls clench around him, his hand crawling between your bodies and drawing lazy circles on your clit to get you to your release.

"Me too, feels so good, I feel so good", you moaned out, a high pitch one particularly when you felt the band was about to snap.

“My sweet girl, my beautiful sweet girl, are you going to come for me?”, Lando worked you up as your body started to show signs of it, "let go, my love, I'm here, I've got you”, he soothed, still gently rubbing your clit with one hand and keeping hold of the other.

Your back arched, sensitive nipples rubbing against his skin, as you came with a high-pitched whine, nuzzling your face on his thick neck as you came undone around him. Lando came soon after, his hand that was not holding yours groping your waist as he groaned.

“Good, sweet girl, that was good, you did so well for me. I’ve got you, it's okay", he assured as he felt you flutter around him, probably from overstimulation considering neither of you had been with anyone else and you hadn't slept a full night yet, the tiredness he felt also a cause for how quickly he finished.

Lando kissed your forehead sweetly before he pulled out, getting up and throwing out the condom on the bathroom bin before he cane back to you on the bed.

"Let's put this on, yeah?", he whispered soflty as he helped you put on his linen shirt, buttoning it enough to let you breathe but still feel hugged by the fabric, and then a clean pair of underwear he got from your suitcase.

Before he laid in bed with you again, he put on his own underwear, pulling you to his arms and then pulling the crisp white covers over you.

"Do you feel good, baby?", he asked once you were cuddled up to him, "yes, I do", you smiled, a mixture of post sex glow and being back in his arms.

"Thank you for not giving up on us, I love you, sweet girl", Lando said as he played with your fingers, bringing them up to his mouth so he could kiss every single one of them, "you're the best thing in my life", he mumbled, letting you drift off to sleep.

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris smut #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smut #f1 fanfic

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melsimps · 18 days ago

Text

Born To Be My Baby

FWB!dilf era!Peter Maximoff x fem!reader headcanons/blurb (kinda).

Tw: discussions of sex, childbirth, and pregnancy. (But not in graphic detail)

A/N: I had to write my own dilfsilver shit. Inspired largely by my oc x Canon fic with him.

We got something to believe in Even if we don't know where we stand

You and Peter were friends with benefits. And that was it. It was casual, fun. A way to de-stress without any strings.

And it was fun, too.

You'd mainly hook up after stressful missions or hard training sessions in the danger room.

And it meant nothing. Just some light fun between friends/coworkers.

That's all it was.

Until that one day.

However it went, you found out you were pregnant. Either a condom broke, or you forgot a pill, or your implant/IUD ran out, it doesn't matter.

What does matter is the fact that you're pregnant.

With Peter's kid.

So, after a doctor's appointment, and with a copy of the ultrasound in your pocket, you went and told him.

"I... are... are you shitting me-?" He asked, eyes wide, mouth agape.

...not the best reaction, I'll admit. But...

After some emotional conversation, it all culminates in...

"...hey," he whispered softly, on his knees as his hands settled on your (still incredibly flat/non visible) abdomen. "Hey in there, baby, I'm-"

"-Peter, what are you-?"

"Shhh-! Quiet, I'm having a conversation with my kid-!" He scoffed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

And after that, he was right on board.

Project baby was a-go.

When you were reading pregnancy books, you'd chart out the rough size of the baby in fruit. And each week, he'd try and find one the right size. Just so he could visualise how big your kid is. Because hey, that's his little buddy in there.

You borrow a lot of his band shirts, especially when you get further on in your pregnancy.

But you're not, like...dating or anything. You're just two buds, having a baby together.

It's kind of hard, him having to be the rational one for once, but he's trying.

"...what's going on-?" He asked, slowly creeping into your classroom.

You were in tears, holding a book to your chest.

"They're just so mean to him..." you sniffled out, shaking your head.

He glanced at the cover, and...

"...Frankenstein?" Peter asked.

You nodded.

"...I could've parented him..."

All the while, y'all are still hooking up. Hormones are crazy, man. Especially later on in your pregnancy.

But it doesn't mean anything. Its just sex. Sex with your stupid hot baby daddy and his stupid hot vibrating dick.

Anyway, one night, the two of you were getting it on, riding him good and hard, when he felt a splash against his abdomen.

"Awe, babe, did you just-?"

"...that wasn't an orgasm..." you whispered, shaking your head.

He paled.

"It fuckin' what-?!"

...yep, he broke your water during sex. Pussy so good, it makes you accidentally induce labour.

He doesn't know which emergency bag to grab, so... he just dashes around campus and grabs all of them.

It's a long labour, with a lot of exhaustion and pain. A lot of emotions and yelling, and... crying.

But in the end?

A soft cry pierced the air as that flash of white faded over you, the pressure fading, the pain slowly alleviating.

"Is... is that-?"

"She's here..." Peter murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

And she was.

An itty bitty baby girl.

Luna.

As he holds that baby in his arms, he just... melts. He's crying and holding her so close to his chest, kissing the top of her little head while you sleep.

"Hey... hey, Luna..." Peter whispered softly, his voice shaking with emotion. "Oh my god, you're so small... I..."

He shook his head, tears pricking his dark eyes. God, he was a mess. It was stupidly early, and he was exhausted, and emotional, and-

"...what did I do to make me worthy of a baby as sweet as you and a woman as great as your mom, huh-?" He murmured, trying his hardest not to sob.

Meanwhile, Luna slept happily against his chest, gurgling as she snuggled close to her father.

As you guys adjust and recover together, getting used to having itty bitty Luna in your lives, Peter just... basically moves into the suite at the mansion with you.

I mean, you're raising a baby together. You've seen each other naked. It's not that weird.

Anyway.

He is so helpful during your healing, and is basically your rock during emotional moments (postpartum hormones are crazy, y'all).

He tries to grow out his facial hair.

Key word being tries.

"Babe..." you warned, grimacing slightly as his face nestled into your neck.

"Mmm... whaaaat-?" Peter asked back playfully, his stubble lightly scratching your skin.

"As much as I am loving the beard..." you purred playfully, cupping his cheek in a moment of domesticity in the kitchenette. "...I'm not a fan of the bristles pricking me during cuddle time..."

Reluctantly... shaves (after you promise to let him devour that pussy the second he can).

"Hey, you wanna get married-?" Peter asked one lazy Saturday afternoon as you snuggled into his chest, while Luna was settled in her crib for a nap.

...okay, so maybe y'all are more than just friends.

#peter maximoff #quicksilver x reader #quicksilver #mel writes #dilfsilver #mel talks #peter maximoff x reader #evan peters #Spotify

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iloveavatar · 2 years ago

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a mothers instinct

neteyam x fem! reader

this is when the reader and neteyam are kids! also this is just something short (hopefully people are ok with that)

neteyam was always a wonderful kid.

the type of kid to always be happy about anything and everything.

neytiri never had an issue with her eldest. he has always laughing at something she did or something jake said that he found absolutely hilarious.

neytiri soon realized that neteyam was curious about the forest animals.

how they grew, what they looked like, how they responded to na’vi, etc.

he asked her if they could look for a specific type of thing in the forest. except neytiri had an issue… seeing as the one thing he wanted to go find was in fact not an animal.

he wanted to find another na’vi.

neytiri tried explaining to him that the na’vi children weren’t just hiding in the forest.

but neteyam insisted they go look.

he wanted to find another na’vi.

one by the name of y/n.

neytiri was quite confused as to who y/n was. however she still followed her eldest child deep into the forest where he was leading her.

they soon stopped at a small tree.

the tree was slightly glowing, the leaves were different shades of green and blue. the height of the plant was just tall enough where the top reached neytiris waist.

neteyams little tail was flickering back and forth in anticipation. his eyes darting around with hope of seeing his new friend.

“neteyam why have we stopped? there’s nothing here honey?” neytiri questioned with a confused look on her face.

“this is where y/n told me to meet her! she’s super pretty, just wait mom!” he excitedly said, slightly bouncing with joy.

neytiri decided to try and listen for any footsteps approaching. she heard a small stick break near the two of them.

her ears twitched at the sound.

she slowly got into a defensive position to protect her son.

however she couldn’t protect her son, seeing as neteyam was running away from her arms towards the sound.

“neteyam!” she whispered-yelled

“mama! mama! it’s y/n i see her!” he yelled with a smile on his little face.

neytiri followed her son to where she spotted another young na’vi.

however the young little girl was sniffling.

“y/n? are you ok? why are you sad?” neteyam worriedly asked. he ran around her to get a good look at her face properly.

“…neteyam? i thought you didn’t come?” she asked with tears in her big round eyes.

“what? of course i would come! why wouldn’t i?” he asked

“you weren’t at the tree… and i-i thought you forgot about me so i went to leave. b-but then i tripped and now my foot hurts.” she explains showing him how her ankle was swollen.

neytiri stepped around to face to pair.

y/n gasped.

“y-you’re neytiri! you fought against the scary sky people!” y/n said astonished. her jaw was dropped.

neytiri chuckled at the girls expression. she soon stopped laughing once she saw the damage her little foot had taken. her ankle was quite swollen.

neytiri had her mother instincts kick in and squatted down to get a proper look at the ankle.

“mom? what should we do about her foot? is she gonna be ok?” neteyam questioned nervously, seeing as he was anxious about his friends injury.

“she will be once we get her to your grandmother.” she said with a small smile on her face.

neytiri then picked up y/n and placed her on her back.

“let’s go get your foot fixed up so you two can play yeah?” she asked as she started to walk home.

neteyam led the way all the way back to his grandmothers tent.

the entire walk back to the village(?) neteyam and y/n ranted about all of the things they want to do. they talked about how they were going to swim, find different plants, eventually ride ikrans, all the way to what they wanted to become when they were older.

neytiri listened to the two of them with a smile on her face.

she was glad neteyam found a friend.

especially one who was as adventurous as him.

neytiri over the years witnessed how neteyam and y/n became closer than ever to one another.

neytiri realized the longing looks the two would send each other. the worry that they had whenever the other would go somewhere. the smiles they would send each other.

she noticed it all.

she even noticed the love in their eyes as they grew older and wiser.

her mother instincts were always right.

and a mother always knows best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

enjoy guys! i’m so sorry i’m always slow with posting.

please send requests!!

~S!

#avatar #the way of water #neteyam x reader #avatar x reader #neteyam #neytiri #neteyam fluff #iloveavatar

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bouncybongfairy · 1 year ago

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Rickety-Rickety Wrecked

Rick Sanchez x Fem Reader Smut

Summary: After recently getting a job, the illusion that high school status quotes and popularity truly mean nothing. You've been re-evaluating things that once made you bubble with excitement like sneaking out and partying. That being said, your younger sister informs you that she's going to Summer Smith's house party. Starting to feel like a senior citizen, you tag along and encounter Rick Sanchez.

Word Count 3.0k+

(!This is a smut fanfic, you’ve been warned!)

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

As you walked out the doors of the nursing home you worked at. Your hand was lazily searching for the keys that were undoubtedly buried at the bottom of your bag. After opening the car door, you let your body fall into the driver’s seat. It wasn’t just being physically but mentally drained as well. Tossing your purse into the passenger side and start the car. It was Friday and you were excited to finally have an entire weekend off. You couldn’t remember the last time you had any time to yourself. Pulling into the driveway, you weren’t surprised to see that your mom’s car wasn’t home. She works nights but will take every double shift she can get her hands on. You dropped the purse on your bed and immediately went over to shower. Even though you’re a Med-Tech you still will help residents with toileting among other things. While waiting for the water to get hot, you let your dirty scrubs drop onto the floor. The water was scorchingly perfect, you could feel your muscles loosening. Using your nails, you scrub your scalp almost moaning from how nice it felt. The smell of the ‘honey crisp apple’ scented candle was only adding to the relaxation. Unfortunately that all came to a halt when your younger sister barrelled into the bathroom and turned on the harsh fluorescent lights.

“Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!” you exclaimed.

“Well sorry, you’re the one hogging the bathroom,” your sister remarked.

“If you were patient and knocked I would have told you that I’m about to be done,” you said.

“No time, Morty invited me to a party that Summer is throwing,” she said which made you throw the current open.

“You’re going to Summer Smith’s party?” you questioned.

“Yeah, I thought you were going to. Morty mentioned that Summer asked you. And plus I kinda already told my friend that you would give us a ride..” she said.

“Girl what the fuck, why would I go to a party after working every day after school all week. Yeah she invited me but I wasn’t planning on going,” you huffed.

“Well, can you still take me?” she asked.

After you got out of the shower you thought about the fact that even your younger sister was going to be at this party. Even though you were still tired from school and the work week, you felt like staying home would just make you feel… pathetic. As soon as you got out of the shower you started getting ready. You haven’t done your makeup in so long that you almost forgot how to apply your lashes. You straightened your hair and threw on a jean mini skirt and a black long sleeve. It was weird looking in the mirror once you were all done up. You liked it though, it made you miss when you didn’t have to worry about work. When you went downstairs to see if your little sister was ready to go, she was equally as shocked at your appearance. After her friend arrived you guys took off to the Smith house. The entire house was completely lit up with lights, teens that were smoking on the roof, and of course, unknown species of life that were slithering and flying around. Your sister pestered you for 20 bucks then ditched you. You entered the house and immediately got greeted by the smell of weed and tobacco. It didn’t bother you too much though, you walked into the living room and immediately saw your old group of friends. They all screamed and ran over to give you a hug. You could tell they were all a little intoxicated.

“What are you doing here, we had no idea you were coming!” Maya said.

“Yeah I had the weekend off so I thought I’d come out,” you said.

“Ever since you started working, I feel like I haven’t seen you in like forever,” Anna said.

“Yeah I know, but it’s nice being able to save money. Especially because I could take some of that responsibility off my mom,” you said.

“Don’t you miss going out though? You were literally about to get asked out by Brad. I mean like, you practically lost your status when it comes to school,” Maya said in a condescending way.

“If my status was based purely on me going to parties and hanging out with girls who are pretending to be drunk then I don’t think I want it. Too obtainable for someone like me, sounds perfect for you though,” you said, giving her a warm smile as you watched her smirk fade from her face.

Now you remember why you stopped going to house parties like this. As you walked around you couldn’t help but notice all the sophomoric conversations going on. Things like bragging about having a roach from their dad’s ashtray. Or boasting about getting to second base with their girl. Honestly, it made you feel a lot older than you are. Making your way into the kitchen, you saw Summer standing there with Trisha. They both greeted you and complemented how you looked, which really lifted your confidence.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, stranger,” Summer said, giving you a red solo cup filled with an unknown liquid.

“Girl you know I started working,” you said, smelling the cup and trying to identify what type of liquor it is.

“Same, honestly ever since I started working at my mom’s shop, I feel like my childhood is officially over,” Trisha laughed.

“God I’m glad I’m not the only one,” you joked back.

“We were about to go up into my room and smoke, you wanna join?” Summer asked which you immediately agreed to.

Her room was really nice, with pink coral walls and a bunch of different posters that covered them. Trisha and you sat down on her bed and Summer walked over and grabbed a bong from under her desk. She grabbed her desk chair so that she could sit in front of you guys. Trisha surprised you and pulled a blunt out from behind her ear. They thought this was your first time smoking but it wasn’t. When you work in a nursing home, sometimes the only thing keeping you sane is your wind-down time at the end of the day. After puffing on those for a bit, Summer pulled out a tray that had a couple of purple almost violet crystals. Without saying a word to each other, the two girls crush up one and then snort it. It took you back at first, the brazenness of how casually they were doing lines was a little jarring, to say the least. When you asked what it was they explained what kalaxian crystals were and what the high was like. Even though it was embarrassing, the factor that sold you was when Summer said they couldn’t be picked up on a drug test. Trisha was holding up the tray and Summer was walking you through what to do.

“So like, when people do lines for the first time, most don’t fully sniff because they are obviously like, intimidated by it. But if you take a small bump then it’ll just burn and you won’t get the full high. So just go full throttle,” she said handing you the straw, the fact that the whites of her eyes were now blue made you nervous.

However, the mix of alcohol and weed in your system was making you ballsy. You close your eyes and take the full line, dropping the straw on the tray and bringing your hands to your nose. As if that would’ve helped the burning sensation. Both girls were giggling as they watched you react, asking every now and then if you were okay. Your entire sinus cavity was not only burning but giving off an unpleasant taste in the back of your throat. The effects were immediate and you felt like you were defying gravity. Like if you really tried you could start floating away. You looked over at the two other girls who were dancing to the stereo Summer had in her room. Without them even noticing, you walked out of her room and made your way downstairs. You felt like everything was moving in slow motion and you were taking in every detail of everything you laid eyes on. The music was so loud that it felt like a heart beating in your ears. Panic and sensory overload were taking over and you could feel your heart began to quicken. After accidentally bumping into a girl, she turns around and tries to snake her arm around your waist. Obviously having a stranger try to grind on you in the midst of a panic attack was the last thing that helped. You broke away and made a B-line to the nearest door. You yanked it open and slammed it shut behind you. You were using your hand to cover your mouth in a sad attempt to stop your hyperventilation.

“Medical emergency detected, blood pressure 148/96 and rising; Medical intervention advised,” a monotone woman’s voice spoke throughout the room.

“Oh my fucking god, I’m fucking hallucinating… I’m overdosing I-I’m about to fucking die,” you have cried have muttered to yourself and you covered your ears.

“You -buhrup- you’re not dying yet, what did you take?” a male’s voice asked. When you looked up, a blue-haired man was standing over you. Wearing brown slacks and black shoes.

“You deaf? What -buhrup- did you take?” he asked again, taking your jaw into his hands and making you look up at him. Your eyes were still blue from the crystals and your jaw was now chattering. You were still crying and breathing heavily.

“I told Summer to stop letting people take bumps of kalaxian. I have something, hold on.

“No- I don’t, I just needed a-a few minutes to catch my breath,” you explained, wiping your eyes and standing up, still leaning against the garage door for support.

“Whatever, you’re lucky I’m trying this whole nice thing,” he said, going back to working on whatever it was sitting on his workbench.

“Sorry,” you said, walking over to his bench and asking if you could sit on the bench. He ignored you but also didn’t protest when you hopped on. Setting your purse down, grab your dab pen and take a puff.

“You sure about smoking that?” he asked.

“Weed is a vasodilator so it probably wouldn’t be the best thing for me right now but it can’t be the worst either,” you said taking another hit.

“Did WebMD teach you that?” he asked.

“No, I learned that from my CNA teacher,” you said.

“HAHA, do you enjoy wiping shit off of saggy balls?” Rick said followed by a fit of laughter.

“Yeah, kinda hot,” you said, taking a drag. He looked at you with his eyebrow cocked which made you burst out into laughter, “you should have seen his face!” You said you are unable to compose yourself. He squinted his eyes, tilted his head down slightly, and scowled at you.

Maybe it was the drugs but the look he gave you made your stomach feel like it was boiling. He again went back to tinkering with his invention. His side profile was strong, his lips were in a frown and he had liquor dripping down his chin. His hands were huge, making a screwdriver look like a pencil. His posture was horrible, practically hunching over the workbench. The blue long-sleeve he wore was slightly tucked into the top of his pants. You were watching his lower stomach rise and lower as he breathed at a very steady rate. He had dark under-eye bags that only added to an angst vibe that radiated off him. You wanted to make a move to indicate that you thought he was attractive but felt insecure. Taking a deep drag from your pen to give you a bit of courage, you kick off your heels.

The sound of them clattering to the floor made Rick look over, he didn’t move but instead shifted his eye to the side to watch you. When he didn’t give you the attention you were craving, you uncrossed your legs and let them hang in front of you. Rick set down what he was working on and turned to face you. Pressing his back into the workbench and just watching you. Biting onto the tip of the pen you take another big drag and blow it between your legs. In turn, he took a swig from his flask, almost like that was his move in this little game you were playing with each other. You set your pen down and pull your skirt up so that the jean material of your skirt was no longer touching the tabletop. Revealing the hip bands on your baby blue thong, he chuckled and walked over to you. He stood about a foot away from you and even though there was still distance between the two, it felt closer. You were intimidated by him and you couldn’t tell if it was turning you on more or not. Extending your leg out, you use your foot and untuck the front of his shirt from his pants. Exposing his happy trail that to your surprise was also blue.

“So the carpet does match the drapes,” you giggle, which quickly turns into a gasp as Rick grabs your ankle and holds it up slightly. He was squeezing it so tightly but this only ignited a need that you didn’t know existed.

“Should have asked if you were so curious,” he said, pulling your leg so that your ass was almost falling off the edge of the table.

He loosened his grip on your ankle and ran his calloused hand up your leg. Once he was close enough, he snaked his hand around your waist. The feeling of his hand touching your lower back made your back arch involuntarily. His crotch was pressed lightly against yours. You were so nervous that your teeth were chattering. His hands were now running up and down your lower back, almost like he was getting off from watching how sensitive you were to his touch. When you looked up, he was already looking down at you. This was something that was new to you and you weren’t quite sure what to do with your hands. Trying not to think too hard about it, you dip your fingers into the waistband of his pants and boxers. You pressed your nose against him, letting your bottom lip rub against his gently. You start pulling on the end of his shirt, prompting him to take it off. He shook his head in disagreement, so you pull away slightly and take your top off. He laughed and then took his shirt off as well. As if he had a look in his eye that said I’ll show mine if you show yours’. The fact that neither of you had to speak to communicate made you want to throw yourself at him. There were scars littered across his body, you traced one that was on his chest. Moving your fingertips to his arms, still admiring his old battle wounds. He was still watching you even though you weren’t making eye contact with him.

When you finally broke away and looked up at him and couldn’t help but admire him. His frown lines, how dark his eyes were, and how his hair was sticking out in all directions. You smashed your mouth against him, unable to bear waiting any longer. He was such a good kisser, not messy and sloppy like the ones you’ve had before. He was aggressive but not overbearing, you wrapped your legs around his waist. Running your hands through his hair and around his neck. He moved his hands to his hips and began grinding against you. Your lips were starting to feel raw from how long he’d been biting and kissing. Moving your hands down to his pelvis you try unbuckling his belt. When he pulled away from you, a trail of saliva connected by the both of your bottom lips followed. He pulled down the front of his pants, exposing his dick. You pulled your panties to the side and he didn’t waste any time reaching down to feel how wet you were. He let out a hoarse moan, and let his forehead fall onto your shoulder. At this point you were aching with anticipation. Unwilling to take his teasing anymore, you reach down and line up his tip with your entrance. He takes the hint and moves his hands back to your hips for support. Slowly he started pressing into you, his mouth was slightly hung open. There was a slight stinging from how big he was but because he was starting slow, that feeling soon faded. He took a step forward once he was fully pressed into you.

He kept himself buried inside of you for a while while kissing your neck. Sucking hickies and leaving bite marks all the way down to your shoulder. He slowly started rocking himself back and forth. You attach yourself to his neck, wrapping your arms around his neck and moan as he slides in and out. You were trying to buck your hip up in order to meet him halfway with his thrusts. Watching his facial expressions as he pounded into you was making you feel euphoric. Everytime you tightened around his shaft you could see his face scrunch in pleasure. At this point he was pounding viciously into you, your walls were becoming sensitive. You were sure that he was getting close because he was getting more aggressive. His thrusts were getting more sporadic, he reached up and grabbed a fist full of your hair. Forcing your head back, exposing your neck allowing him to continue marking you up.

You were whimpering every time his length pressed completely inside you. His face was red from how much he was exerting himself. Your arms were wrapped around his neck so he grabbed you from underneath your knees and pressed you against the wall. The change in position was enough to send you over the edge, going limp slightly as your pussy spasmed around his cock while you came. He let his entire body weight press against you as he came inside you. As you were cumming, you could feel his throbbing member spurting inside of you. When he pulled out he took his shaft into his hand and rubbed his tip up and down your folds. Enjoying the feelings of your warmth and swollen core. He set you back down on the top of his work station. You were still cross faded and don’t think you could walk even if you wanted to. Barely being able to keep your eyes open you use your arm as a pillow to ‘rest your eyes’ for a few moments.

Rick zipped his pants up and went to leave the garage, knowing you’d probably leave once you woke up. Maybe it was the recent encounter with Unity that made him feel like a douche. As if having careless sex with you was only proving her point that you were a bad guy. He took a deep breath and stood in front of the door for a while before turning around. Grabbing your purse, he took your wallet and looked for the address on your ID. After punching it into his portal gun and creating the green entryway to your house. He picked you up bridal style and carried you through the portal. He used his foot to move the covers over and set you down on your bed. Leaving your purse and shoes on the floor next to you before leaving.

#rick and morty fanfiction #rick sanchez x you #rick sanchez fanfic #rick sanchez smut #rick sanchez x reader #rick sanchez imagine #season 7 rick sanchez #rick and morty spoilers #rick and morty fandom #rick and morty season 7 #rick and morty season 7 fanfic #rick sanchez season 7 #smut fanfiction #rick sanchez smut fanfic #smut writing

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rae-dabae · 11 months ago

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VOID JOURNEY❤︎︎

( long post ahead‼️‼️)

Y’all……. A HOE DID IT!! I ENTERED THE VOID!!!! but i didn’t manifest anything :(((. So basically i don’t really even remember much from last night all i remember is falling asleep and seeing complete blackness. Now i’ve been to the void tons of times without know i’ve been there. @b4ddprincess realization void post OPENED MY FUCKING EYES and got me to realize what the void ACTUALLY was. That darkness you’re surrounded by when you fall asleep and you can’t move or speak or do anything else but literally exist. When i was like 10 i woke up in the void without and it was completely dark but i wasn’t scared n shit it was really REALLY fucking peaceful and i just kinda stayed there. I always thought that darkness was apart of the dream i was supposed to have but once i realized THAT was the void……..🤦🏾‍♀️. Now i went through a wee lil phase of looking for methods n trying them out n them not resonating with me at all. I was stressing myself out BUT I KNEW that the void was easy because I’ve literally been there tons of times. Doubts were eating me alive and really fucking with my confidence and making doubt if I’ve even actually entered the void(we literally enter the void every time we sleep so basically we always are in the void). After like 3-4 weeks of me repeating the same cycle of believing i can enter, not entering and repeating the same old story over n over again. I had enough and started to slowly pull away from obsessing over the void and I focused onward what i wanted. The entire point of me even entering was so that i could manifest ALL my desires at once. I decided to find something that I personally liked and believed i could succeed with. I like sleep methods the best because they’re the most relaxing for me. I like Sats/ Lullaby method but i every time i would try it i would think “ oh it didn’t work because i didn’t affirm long enough lemme try again” so i was secretly fucking myself up because i had made up this assumption if i didn’t affirm long enough I wouldn’t get in. There was one “method” that i likes the best and it was commanding/ ordering your subconscious to take you to the void. I decided to test it out to see if you can really manifest anything just by commanding your subconscious and GIRLLL….. it works. One sunday afternoon i was heavily dreading going to school and just was NOT feeling it, so i decided to test my subconscious and see if it could cancel school for me or just get me not to go without begging my parents or faking sick. I went “ Hey subconscious, im not feeling school tomorrow, cancel it for me” and after that i forgot about it. Later that night my school posts on instagram that someone threatened to BOMB OUR SCHOOL and tons of kids were protesting they cancel (being the piece of shit trashy stank ass school they are they didn’t cancel). All my friends were protesting not going cuz im not tryna get Bombed frl. I called my mom about it and she told me I didn’t have to go to school if i didn’t want to. Then I remembered what i told my subconscious and i went “ DAMNN subconscious i know i said i didn’t wanna go but BOMB THREATS??”( i don’t think I manifested the bomb threats because as much as i dread that place i would never even try doing that) that was the test that proved to me that subconscious really will do anything you tell it….insane. BACK TO LAST NIGHT ( i got distracted Srry) i commanded my subconscious before going to sleep to wake me up in the void but because of my loud ass african mother i couldn’t sleep so i waited until i felt tired and fell asleep. When i woke up i was still in my bedroom and i had thought i didn’t get in but then i tried remember if i dreamed last night and i didn’t remember having one. Actually i remember just being in complete darkness for a while then the rest is blurry. Then it hit me. I ENTEREDD. I know i had entered because it was the same feeling i got when i was 10 and entered. Anyways now i know how to enter and what works for me so STAY TUNED FOR A SUCCESS STORRYYY!!!( ill get into full detail and give some advice)

💕💕Bye my lovess!! 💕💕

#law of assumption #void #void state #void success #manifesation #neville goddard

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marvelous-slut · 1 year ago

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Call Back - Chibs Telford x Reader

YALL!! I can’t lie, I am a hoe for this troupe if you can’t tell from my other works. Like the close friends daughter? Idk it makes me feral. I swear to god I don’t have daddy issues, like I have the best dad ever so idk why I’m like this but here’s this work that has been stuck in my drafts for weeks.

MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY! Age gaps & smut.

You watched the club members make their way into the club house as you puffed on the joint that rested between your fingers. Chucky had kept you company while you waited for them to come back from a run. As much as you wanted to slap the shit out of Chibs when he come through the door, you held back. Knowing you couldn’t risk Clay finding out that one of his most trusted members had been with his daughter right under his nose. Even if through all the rage you felt right now toward him, you’d never want him to get hurt.

While the MC was on a run, you’d realized you’d forgot many of your things at Chibs house the night before they left. He told you were the extra key was through text for you to get them back, a part of you wished you’d never went in. You found your things and as you did, the phone rung. Before you shut the door to leave, you heard a voice mail being recorded and decided to stay and listen. Sure, maybe it was a little bit of an invasion of privacy but you wanted to know who else needed to talk to him besides the club and you.

“It’s Fi. Fillip, I want our family back. Jimmy is gone, hasn’t been here for months. Haven’t heard from him either. There’s no sense in us stayin’ apart now. Let me know when you get this, please.” Family? What family? The only family you’d known Chibs to have was the MC. You cursed yourself for not listening to Clay and Gemma more when they’d talk about the members and their lives. You’d think the feelings you’d had for Chibs through the years of being around the club would have made your ears perk up when they’d chat about him. Maybe it was a detail you’d heard and didn’t care about, as you’d never met or seen him with a woman, thinking it was an old fling. Chucky filled you in once you brought it up, telling you how Chibs had been married before with a daughter. He didn’t know much more besides that.

“You gotta go home, no need for you to be here.” Clay says, throwing his bag on the pool table. “And put that shit out, this place reeks of pot cause of you.” He walks past you, just like you were a stranger in the house. You didn’t know what happened on the run, but it had to be something tough. Clay typically treated you and Gemma both like dirt on his shoes when a run went bad or an issue come up with the club. It didn’t make the coldness he came off with sting any less. The hurt was plastered on your face, you put your joint out in the ash tray and ran out of the club house in tears. Pushing past Chibs as you did. Jax looks at him, confused as to what happened.

“Think it’s somethin’ with Clay. I’ll go make sure she’s okay.” He says, Jax nods his head and follows the rest into the house. Jax cared about you, sometimes both of you thought he cared more about you than Clay but right now he had to fill his role as VP.

“Love,” He begins to say. You turn around, laughing as you did. Between the new found information of him being married and your fathers cold demeanor toward you, something snapped inside of you.

“Shut up!” You yell at him, he’s confused and shocked as you’d never talked to anyone this way before in your whole life. Even if you had Gemma for a step mom you weren’t quick to yell out in anger or use your fists to resolve issues like her, even sometimes being like a dog that keeps getting beat down makes anyone eventually explode. “Don’t you have a fucking wife to get back to?” You ask, Chibs eyes widen. He’s speechless and you take the opportunity to get in your car and drive off from the club. Wanting to be anywhere but here.

_____

You laid on your bed looking up at the ceiling, unable to think of anything other than Chibs. Even your father snapping at you today didn’t hurt like this did. That you were used to, being lied to by someone you trusted deeply wasn’t. It was 12:42AM, not a word from Chibs or Clay. You were shocked that Gemma hadn’t been crawling up your ass to find out where you were. Typically you’d go over to visit before heading to your house but today you just wanted to be alone. Trying to sleep hadn’t worked out in your favor and you’re forced to lay in bed with only your many racing thoughts. Before anything else can cross your mind, you hear a knock at the door. You grab your pistol, not knowing who would be here at this time of night. When you look through the peep hole, you’re somewhat shocked at who you see.

“What do you want?” You ask, opening the door. A part of you was excited that he was here so the two of you could talk, but the anger in you didn’t want to see him at all.

“I want to talk.” He says, pushing past you into the house. You couldn’t lie, it was kind of hot that he asserted himself like this. It was always sexy when he did it, one of the many reasons you liked him. He sits down on the couch and you sit on the other end, looking at him. He was looking at you, almost like he was waiting on an explanation. You chuckled, slapping your hands on your thighs as you did.

“What?” You ask sharply, he leans back into the cushions, placing his hands on the top of his head.

“I listened to the voicemail that you heard, and deleted it as soon as it was done playin’. I married Fi when I was in Ireland and younger, a man named Jimmy O got me kicked out of the IRA and married Fi. Raised my daughter, Kerrianne.” This was a lot to process right now, your head still swimmy from the tears youd shed through the day. “Also, did this to ma face.” He says, pointing at the scars that ran over his cheeks. You sit, listening to everything he’s saying. It sounds like some kind of TV show, how the hell do you get kicked out of a country unless you’re a terrorist?

“Listen lass, I should have told you about Fi and my Kerrianne, but it just wasn’t something I thought about bringin’ up to ya. You make me forget all the bad shit in my life, when I’m with ya I don’t have to think about any of it.” He moves over to sit beside you, brushing a piece of hair out of your face. “Fi hasn’t had a hold on me since the day you decided to spill ya drink on me.” You smiled at him and laughed. It was your first night back in Charming after moving away for college, Chibs only faintly remembered you when you were younger but you’d made an impression on him your first night back. Being drunk out of your mind, staggering everywhere and eventually bumping into him and your drink flying all over him. You sigh deeply, looking away from him as you attempt to hold anymore tears from coming out. He turns your head back to him, resting his forehead onto yours.

“I know it’s wrong and I know Clay would put a bullet in ma head if he knew about this, but I love you lass. I can’t help it.” He says, at this moment you don’t need to hear anything else he has to say. You lay your lips onto his and he returns the favor. You feel his rough and calloused hands run up your leg, shivering as the coldness from his rings hits your skin. You let out a soft whimper as you’d missed this familiar feeling of his hands on your body.

“How I’ve missed that noise.” He breathes out, breaking the kiss. You stand up, adjusting your clothes. You don’t know why you did, sooner rather than later they’d be scattered across the floor anyways. You reach a hand out and he accepts, following you to your bedroom. Once the two of you are in, he sheds his kutte and lays it on the desk that sits in your corner. The familiar scent of whiskey and cigarette smoke takes over your senses as he places his lips to your neck, kissing gently and carefully not to leave a mark on your precious skin. Before you knew it, your shorts and underwear were scattered on the ground along with his clothes. You lay down on the bed as he hovers over you, typically you got things rolling by landing on your knees for him but he felt like he needed to make this about you. The beads that hang from his neck are hanging in-front of your face, a sight you’ll never get tired of seeing. You feel his hand sliding to your dripping cunt, he slides in two fingers and you arch your back in pleasure. He would have started off with one, but he knew you’d immediately tell him to add another just like you always did.

“So beautiful.” He says as he’s kissing the inside of your thighs. “So wet.” The kisses, how his fingers curl inside of you, hitting your spot just right it was all enough to send your head spinning. His fingers are buried deep in you, but he’s moving them at such an agonizing pace. Knowing you were going insane and silently begging him to spend up his movements. He leans down to you, placing his lips onto yours. This time it’s messy, almost sloppy but you don’t mind.

“Always takin’ my fingers so well, can you still take this cock just as good love?” It had been a few weeks since the two of you had sex due to him being on the run and you’d longed for this moment since the day he left with the MC for Tacoma. You nodded your head yes, knowing if you tried to speak you’d just embarrass yourself by stammering around. He slides himself into you, your hands tighten around his arms as you feel yourself stretch around him. Once he’s buried himself into you and sees the pleasure across your face, he starts to thrust into you slowly trying to set his pace.

“Fuck.” You manage to moan out, he moves the hair from your face so he can take in your beauty. To the both of you, the sex you had was like a drug. Once never being enough. The first time it happened, he insisted it would be the last as well. The minute he slid himself inside of you, seeing your face and feeling you clench around him he knew he’d made himself a liar. Every-time was sensual, even when it was a quick fuck it was always meaningful.

“You always take me so well, love. Almost like this pussy was made just for me.” He lets out as the grip on your hips tightens. You feel your stomach begin to tighten, your face burning and you know you’re there. He knows it too, pumping into you steadily but harsher. “Be a good girl and let go all over me aye?” The words sent you over the edge, bucking your hips against him to intensify the experience. It sends him over the edge, watching you like you can’t get enough of him and he releases into you. Not worrying wether there was a condom on or not. He pulls himself out, grabbing a towel to help you clean up and get himself situated. You wrap yourself up in a silk robe as you watch him dress, knowing the worst moment of him leaving was coming.

“You know you can stay right? Dad shouldn’t be down this way anytime soon.” You tried your best, hoping he’d give in. He sighs, tightening his belt. He walks over to you, kissing your forehead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow love. I have some things to take care of tonight.”

Chibs rides home, it’s almost 3AM and he’s feeling it as his eye lids become heavier and heavier. He silently thanks God when he makes it inside that he didn’t crash his bike into a semi on his way here from the fatigue. He sits on the couch, staring at the phone. He listens to the voicemail from Fiona once more, thinking of her and the life they had. How they had a shot of getting that back. His mind then went to you, he loved you and he couldn’t shake the feeling. He hated to lie to you, but at this moment he didn’t know which path to go down. Telling you the voicemail and feelings for his wife were gone was better than saying “I don’t really know what to do”. He couldn’t bare the thought of hurting you as he’d already seen how that went earlier in the day at the club house.

He didn’t fear anyone, but he knew it would be tricky with you due to Clay. He knew he’d never be able to boast or call you his old lady. Things would be a secret till the day Clay died, and Chibs didn’t like keeping those. He picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number, praying he’d get the mailbox before he had anymore time to think.

“Hey Fi. It’s Fillip. Just wanted to see if you still wanted to talk.”

#sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy x reader #chibs telford x reader #chibs telford smut #chibs telford imagine #chibs x you #chibs telford #chibs smut #chibs x reader #chibs imagine #chibs sons of anarchy #soa chibs

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sweetestcaptainhughes · 5 months ago

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Hungover

GIF isn’t mine. create to creator @gabelandeskog

Word Count - 902

Possible triggers - I truly can’t think of any, maybe alcohol use? It’s really just some pure fluff I thought of after waking up very hungover this past weekend.I guess use of Y/N if that’s considered a trigger?

Summary: After a girls night out waking up extremely hungover and Quinn has to fill you in on what happened once you got home last night.

As you felt yourself wake up, the first thing you felt was the dryness of your mouth and not even 10 seconds later the pounding of your head. Then as your stomach churned as you were fighting the urge to not wince in pain from the mixture all of a sudden realizing how drunk you actually got the night before. You could feel the light being so bright before you even decided to open your eyes and that’s when you decided to cuddle further into your boyfriend with a moan of pain.

“Make it stop please.” Y/N barely whispered to Quinn.

He couldn’t help the light chuckle escape his lips as he turned his body so he was facing his girlfriend. Quinn wrapped his arms around you and kept your legs tangled. “Make what stop baby?” he asked teasingly knowing damn well you want the pain to stop.

You peaked one eye open barely and then immediately closed it. “It’s too bright in here, please make it stop.” you softly demanded. But even in your sick state you knew it was impossible to already make the barely lite room any darker.

“Yes let me get right on that, I’ll just tell the sun that my precious Y/N isn’t ready to face the day yet because she drank too many tequila sunrises last night.” As he continues to chuckle and hold you tighter.

“It wasn’t tequila sunrises, it was run punches!Thank you very much!” you softly argued.

He chuckles at the fact that even when you feel like dying you can’t stop yourself from correcting him. “I would ask if you had fun with BF/N but since I remember last night and you coming home I already know that you did.”

“You were awake when I came home?” you ask softly, finally deciding to open your eyes and look at your boyfriend. “I don’t remember that. Actually I don’t remember anything from last night past getting in the uber with BF/N.”

“Yes BF/N called me from the uber also drunk out of her mind but more sober then you and told me that there was no way she could get you out the uber by herself and demanded I meet you downstairs. You did fight me on properly getting ready for bed and I will say I have the battle scars to prove it.” As Quinn lifted his arm you saw the red marks of the scratches on his arm.

You let out a gasp of surprise as you went to grab his arm and bring it to your mouth to softly kiss the scratch marks as you mumbled your apologies. “It’s okay baby. I know you were really drunk and to be fair it was either my arm or your ankle as you fell on your ass. I will always pick up on me getting hurt over you.” As he scooted even closer to you if that was even possible and you both closed your eyes fully ready to go back to bed for a few hours. “Hey don’t go back to sleep baby, we gotta get up soon for lunch remember mom and dad are in town?”

You actually let out a sound of your mouth between a whine and moan. “No, I forgot. I’m so hungover” you sigh.

“Okay well do you want some Advil now and water? I tried to get you to take it last night but you refused and passed out before I could convince you.” He softly asks as he strokes your hair, something he knows always brings you deep comfort even when you're hungover you’ve been in months.

“Yes please.” you mumble. You feel the weight of the bed shift as Quinn reaches over to the bedside table and grabs the Advil and bottle of water he left on the table last night on purpose.

“Here baby you gotta sit up a little to take it. “ You sit up barely but refuse to open your eyes, Quinn chuckles as he drops medicine in your already open mouth and brings the lid to your mouth. Once the water touches your lips it feels like you're a new person. You take the bottle out of Quinns hands and drink a decent amount until your stomach decides if you drink anymore you might vomit.

As you lay down to get comfortable you say “remind me to never drink again, I’ve never been that hungover.” You hear Quinn chuckle at your recent declaration.

“Babygirl you know I love you but you say that everytime you wake up the next morning hungover as fuck.” As he wraps his arms around you.

“And I mean it!” As you find yourself snuggling deeper into his chest. You can feel the rumbles under you from him continuing to laugh at you.

“Okay okay 10 more minutes and then we have to get up or we will be late for lunch considering we are suppose to meet them at 1 and its already 11:30.”

“Okay.. hey quinny?” you ask as you look up at him, as your head lays on his chest.

“Hmm” he asks.

“Thanks for always taking care of me.” as you hug him a little tighter.

The last thing you remember before you drift back to sleep is him kissing you on the forehead. “I’ll always take care of you baby. I love you.”

Authors note:

Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you all think, this is the first time I'm posting on this blog.

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes fluff #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes x reader #hughes imagine #qh43 #schwritingsqh43

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yourlastbraincell-kiwi · 6 months ago

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A/N: I was asked by the lovely @tommysaxes to make part two to my other Henry Danger one shot, here it is.

I hope you enjoy!

Warning: may or may not be typos!

Pairing: Henry Hart x fem!reader

After what happened the other day, I had stayed locked and huddled up in my room. Dings that turned to vibrants after I silenced my phone.

Message after message. Call after call. I couldn’t hear it any longer.

Thoughts and ideas running and racing through my head.

‘Did I overreact??’

‘Should I respond to him? Visit him maybe?’

‘No! I had every right to react that way!’

‘Or was I..?’

All these thoughts kept bouncing against the inner lining of my head, until I heard a knock at the door. All my thoughts had calmed themselves, as I got up and opened the door a bit.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, sorry to bother, but you’ve been in here for a while. Do you wanna talk?” My mom offered.

“No, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” She asked and I nodded my head ‘yes,’ in confirmation. Getting the gist she told me that she’d be out running errands, and to call if need be.

After she left I closed and locked the door behind her and let out a breath, I didn’t know I was holding in.

I trudged up the stairs and was going to crawl into bed when I heard, something repeatedly hitting the window pane.

My brows furrow in confusion, I held my position and listened. Waiting to see if it would continue, and that it did. Like little pebbles hitting the glass almost.

After it wouldn’t stop I stood up and abruptly opened my window to see what it was, only for me to get hit in the forehead with a pebble.

“Ow!”

Jaspers face went wide, and shoved the pebbles into Charlotte’s hands. “That was Char!” Jasper exclaimed, as she gave him a look.

“No, it wasn’t!” She replied and they both started to bicker back and forth.

“Hey! Can you guys just stop? If that’s what you guys came here to do, then you wasted your time and mine.” I said, before pulling my head from out the window.

“Wait! Wait! We really need to talk to you.”

I huffed and sighed, “What about?”

“You weren’t returning our calls.” Jasper said.

“My phone is dead.” I said, and he proceeded to shake his head and call my phone. I purposely, hit the hang up button. “Hey!”

“My finger slipped. Is that all you had to say?”

“No! We really want you to know how sorry Henry is.” Charlotte said, and I shook my head in response, not wanting to hear her.

Yeah, Henry did forgot about our one year, it hurt. Bad. But I still love him, with every fiber of my being, and not talking to him or seeing everyday is hurting me. If not more than him even forgetting about the anniversary.

“Please, just.. Come to the Man-Cave. Only if you want to.”

“If she wants? We need her to come, or Henry will-” Char having enough hit his shoulder.

“What’s at the Man-Cave?” I asked. “Just stop by when you’re ready. It’ll all make sense later.” She said they finally left. I closed my window and turned around examining my entire room.

Without knowing what else to do I dialed my mom’s phone, and called her.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong, honey?”

“I just.. I need your advice.”

Once I explained what happened to my mom, she helped me with deciding on what to do, and I was going to visit the Man-Cave. I took a shower and washed my face, wanting to look nice.

After changing, I started my walk to Junk N’ Stuff to see what they had in store for me at the Man-Cave.

I looked at the store to see that it had a closed sign on it, which surprised me cause it was really early in the day for it to close.

I walked into the store with confusion written all over my face, and let the door close behind me. I proceeded to walk to the back of the store and get into the elevator.

I closed my eyes tight and held onto the railing of the elevator trying not to fall on the ground like I did before.

Surprisingly the second time around on the elevator, I didn’t fall, but my knees did buckle a little, upon reaching the ground floor.

I’ll take that over brushed bones any day.

I stepped out of the elevator and looked around the lights were dimmed no one was in the Man Cave, it looked like.

“Hello? Hellllo?” I called out, wanting to see if anybody was home, but I sighed and huffed upon getting no reply back. I turned on my heel ready to leave.

“Wait!” Henry replied at the top of the stairs, before jogging down them.

“Henry, what is all this? What happened to the lights? Did Ray forget to pay the light bill?”

“No!” He replied before quickly adding, “Maybe.. Okay, wait. Please don’t leave, I have something to show you.”

“Henry..” I started, but he looked at me with pleading eyes and I couldn’t say ‘no,’ “Fine, I’ll stay.”

He smiled then told me to sit down at the round table, I listened and sat down, watching Henry take the seat in front of me.

He took a bell out of his pocket and rung it, and someone came out dressed up in suit and tie, that person being Jasper.

“Jasper? What are you doing?”

“I am to..uh.. Henry, what am I here for again?” He asked, in a hushed voice, but still loud enough for me to hear it.

“You’re our waiter, Jasper. Did you bring out any menus?”

“You didn’t give tell me that, Hen.” He admitted, and Henry started to get visibly nervous.

“Well, what do you suggest?” Henry asked and Jasper let out and ‘uh’ sound as he thought about it.

“Well there’s this place down the road with killer burgers, but there’s also this place with really good nachos and-”

“I’ll take it from here, Jasper.” Charolette said as she gently pushed Jasper again. “We don’t have menu’s but I can suggest that you have today’s special.”

“What’s the special?” I ask, wanting to play along, I was already there so, why not? It took her a bit but she replied with spaghetti tacos.

“Spaghetti tacos?” I ask, confused and she nodded her head. “That sounds good, but I’d like one of those steaks Henry’s always talking about.” I said, and Char looked over at Henry, they probably weren’t expecting me to ask for it.

“Perfect! We��ll take two.” He said and she nods, then leaves.

“Henry, can we please talk?”

“Not before the entertainment!” He said and rung the bell again and Schowz comes out in his clown outfit.

“Schowz?”

“I am not Schowz, I’m Pippy the Clown!” He exclaimed. “Want to see a magic trick?”

“Sure, why not?”

He took out a deck of cards and fanned it out, and told me to pick one. I took one looked at it and put it back in a random spot of the deck.

He put them back into the deck and took out a random card. “Is this your card?” I shook my head ‘no.’

“This one?” I shook my head again, and he kept trying to guess it, but Henry cleared his throat knowing he was never going to guess it correctly.

“How about a balloon animal, Pippy?” He asked, more annoyed than when Schowz started the act.

He nodded, tossing the deck of cards over his shoulder and took out the balloons. “What kind of animal do you want, little girl?”

“Not a little girl, but how about a dog?” He smiled and begins to make the animal, or tried to at least. He twisted, turned, and tried to form the balloon animal but ended up making something that didn’t quite resemble a dog.

A for effort though.

“Thank you, Pippy. I think we’ve seen enough.” He nods and honks his horn before leaving us alone.

“Henry, we really need to talk.

“Not after-” He started to ring the bell, but took his hand to stop him mid shake of the wrist.

“Henry! Stop, please.” He sighed and apologized.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I just wanted tonight to hopefully make up for what happened the other day.”

“I’m sorry too, for the way I acted and everything. Walking away and refusing to talk to you, it hurt not getting a good morning or good night text every day.” I said, he laughed and I smiled.

“I apologize for missing our one year, that was never my intention. I know we’ll never get it back, but I can promise you; every one after will be better than the last.” He stated, determination in his eyes.

“I have no doubt about that. I forgive you, Henry.” He smiled wide, as we stood up and hugged each other tight, till the point where we heard crying in the background.

It was Ray crying, nose running as he waved his little handkerchief around. “Bravo! Bravo!” I shook my head and laughed.

‘I don’t know how I survived, but I definitely did miss these guys..’

#wattpad #x reader #fluff #black!reader #black!fem!reader #fluffed up #making up #henry hart x black!reader #henry danger #henry hart #henry hart x reader #all inclusive #black!writer

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penkura · 6 months ago

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knowing [6/8]

Summary: Sanji knew you were the one the moment he met you.

Pairing: Sanji x Reader

Warnings: None really. Normal One Piece stuff I guess.

Note: Its Whole Cake Island time!! :') This arc made me cry, I really like it at a lot. Sanji finding his raid suit is different than the canon, because I forgot how he found it. :)

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5]

Arriving at Zou with the rest of your crew, you wanted nothing more than to see Sanji, hug Nami, and take a nap on Sunny. Bartolomeo's crew and ship were fine, but they weren't your home or family, it was hard for you to sleep without Sanji nearby and knowing Nami wasn't directing the ship and knew exactly where you were going. A few times you were afraid Bartolomeo's navigator was going to get you all lost on your way but eventually you made it, climbing up after everyone else and sticking close by Robin once you'd made it to the top.

The Minks eventually helped bring you back to everyone else, but Nami hugged you tightly after she'd hugged Luffy, whispering an apology that confused you.

"Nami, what–"

"Sanji's gone, I'm sorry. I couldn't…couldn't stop it."

Your head was starting to spin, you couldn't get any words out. Nami took your hand and dragged you away to the room the Minks had let her stay in, she explained everything.

Capone Bege's crew had shown up saying something about being there to retrieve Sanji, an arranged marriage between him and one of Big Mom's daughters being the cause. Nami told you even Sanji was shocked, but he chose to go with them to settle things and return to you all. He'd told her, Chopper, and Brook he never meant to hide anything from you all, and made her promise to give you a note he'd quickly written, which she did after she finished explaining, hugging you again while you sat frozen in place.

Sanji was being forced into an arranged marriage and you hadn't even been there to go with him or to stop him from going. The way it sounded, he wouldn't have even let you go with him, but you would have fought to do so. But, what did this mean for you two and your relationship? Only three of your crew members knew, what if he decided to stay and marry this girl, to leave you? Zoro and Nami would probably kill him if he did so and broke your heart, but you had faith in Sanji. You were certain he'd return to you, to the Straw Hats in general.

You were his family, not whoever these people who were forcing him into marriage were.

Nami left you alone a few minutes later so you could process what was happening and read the small note from Sanji, even though it ended up making you cry and hate yourself for staying in Dressrosa while he went to Zou.

[Y/N], my love,

I WILL come back to you. I'm not going to marry anyone that ISN'T you, I swear.

+!+

A while later, you heard a knock on the door that woke you from the small nap you'd fallen into. Thinking it was Nami, you didn't bother to check and told whoever it was to come in, being slightly surprised to see it was Zoro.

Not that surprised though, he'd made it clear to everyone, by his actions, that he thought of you like an older sister, and wanted to be sure you were all right.

"You okay? You never came down after Nami."

Sitting up a bit, you nodded and started brushing your fingers through your hair. You didn't want to talk much about the stuff going on with Sanji, but figured Zoro knew that when he came over and sat beside you.

"That idiot cook is in love with you, he's not gonna marry that girl."

"I know that." You passed the note over to Zoro, not caring if he read it. He did so quickly before handing it back to you, making you wonder if he really did read it or if he didn't care enough about Sanji to bother. Zoro, instead, ended up pulling you to him, which made you start to cry again. Not at all his intention, but you were so tired, physically and emotionally, that you couldn't help it. You'd been so looking forward to seeing Sanji, the last two years had been long enough away from him; now he was gone and on his way to try and get out of an arranged marriage, leaving you behind without being able to say anything in person.

Zoro was the only one who knew about Sanji's intentions to marry you. About the ring he'd bought in Dressrosa for you. There was no way he was going to let some stupid arranged marriage keep you two from getting married. Zoro knew that.

"You're going with them. Nami, Luffy, Chopper, and Brook are going after him, they're taking you along."

"O-Okay…" You nodded and sniffled a bit more, trying to calm yourself so you could go back to everyone. You could hear what sounded like a party going on, probably thanks to Luffy making friends with the Minks. "What a-about you?"

"I'm going on to Wano. You show up without that curly brow and I'm going to find him and kill him."

"Zoro, you can't just kill him."

"He hurts you and I will."

"Oh my gosh, you're the worst brother ever."

+!+

The next morning, your group split off from Zoro's group to head for Whole Cake Island. You thought the name sounded funny, but also were worried about entering the territory of one of the Four Emperors of the Sea. You'd heard Big Mom could be fearsome, and were terrified of meeting any of her numerous children for the same potential reason.

When you landed there finally, sticky from syrup rain and tired, you had no time to rest as Luffy and Chopper ended up eating an entire chocolate building, completely horrifying you as what appeared to be the police of the area appeared and were chastising them, until a girl with brown hair in pigtails showed up and played along that she'd asked them to do so.

She took you all to another building, introducing herself as Charlotte Pudding, the girl Sanji was supposed to marry in a few short days. Hearing her talk about him and how kind he was made you grip the hem of your dress tightly, biting your tongue until it hurt. You didn't want to feel jealous, Sanji's was yours, but you couldn't help it.

Pudding was pretty and perfect, and seemed more like Sanji's type than you. You wouldn't blame him if he agreed to marry her, but you knew he wouldn't. He'd never leave you after the amount of time you'd been together and how much you loved each other.

He…he wouldn't…right?

"He said he'd marry me if he could, but he wanted to return to his crew, and there was someone else he'd given his heart to."

While everyone else was shocked Sanji turned down a girl, Nami glanced over and caught you gritting your teeth, your lips pressed in a thin line. She knew you and Sanji were together, you'd told her and Robin after the events at Water Seven, and she hated seeing you this way. So worried and jealous at the same time. You should have been relieved to hear he told Pudding you had his heart, but it just scared you for some reason. Like it would be used by Big Mom or one of her numerous other kids as a way to hurt Sanji more than hurt you.

Nami reached over quietly and grabbed your hand under the table, squeezing it to let you know she was there. You gave her a small smile, which she knew was fake.

Once Pudding gave you all directions to the Seducing Woods and you were on your way, you stayed out on Sunny's deck, just watching the cotton candy clouds roll by.

"It's kind of pretty here." Nami hadn't startled you, you nodded at her when she spoke and came to stand beside you. "You've been lost in thought for a good while. Care to share?"

Shaking your head, you continued to stare at the sky, wishing none of this was happening.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. We'll get Sanji back and you two can go back to being grossly cute and in love with each other."

"What if he changes his mind?"

"Hm?"

"What if he changes his mind and decides he wants to marry Pudding? She's so pretty, how do I compete with the daughter of Big Mom?"

Rolling her eyes, Nami sighed and hugged you a bit. Of course you'd feel insecure about everything happening, Pudding really was pretty, but Nami knew that didn't matter to Sanji when it came to you. He'd always thought you were the most beautiful girl he'd ever met, but actually getting to know you over time, he'd told Nami he fell head over heels for your personality and your soul, your looks were secondary to everything else. Sanji loved you because of who you were, not what you looked like, despite his initial attraction to you being based on looks.

"You're not gonna compete with her. She said she wasn't going to marry him, right?"

"Yeah, but–"

"No buts, she said it's not happening. So unless she's lied to us, your relationship with Sanji will be fine. We'll get him back, don't worry."

You hugged Nami back and agreed with her, but still had a feeling of fear and worry in your heart. Nothing was right about all of this, you just had a feeling that something was wrong, but you weren't sure what it was. You didn't want to find out, you hoped your instincts were wrong, that the fear and worry would go away after a bit more information came to you.

You hoped for it, but also accepted that it was likely not going to happen.

+!+

"Sanji!!! Hey!!"

After being tricked by Pudding to the Seducing Woods, Luffy fought against one of the Sweet Generals, Charlotte Cracker, through the night. It took hours after you were separated from Brook, Chopper, Carrot, and Pedro, you and Nami safely atop one of the Homies thanks to Lola's piece of Big Mom's vivre card. Once he'd finally defeated him, the Homie you were on carried the three of you towards Totto Land, and you'd made it just in time to catch the carriage taking Sanji and his family to the castle.

But the look Sanji gave when he saw Luffy, then Nami, then you, you'd never seen such a horrified look on his face. Luffy flung himself to the carriage, catching Sanji up on everything that had happened since he was taken by Bege's crew, and you had some hope it'd bring him back to you all.

Until Sanji kicked Luffy from the carriage.

"Get lost…you miserable, inferior pirates!"

Your heart clenched, and you barely strained out his name.

"My name…is Vinsmoke Sanji."

A last name. You'd never known. Anytime you asked Sanji about his family or where he was from, he'd smile sweetly and tell you he wasn't at a point where he could talk about it yet. You accepted that answer, not wanting to push him into something he wasn't comfortable doing or talking about. You always figured you two would sit together one day when he was ready and he'd tell you everything. Never did you expect or want to find out this way.

"And I'm…a prince of Germa Kingdom!! Forgive me for hiding this from you!"

Please, [Y/N], I didn't want you to find out this way.

"Sanji, please." You stepped forward a bit, wanting him to stop and just come with you all.

I didn't need to know!

"If I had told you, it would only have made you self-conscious. The difference in status between us is obvious. Here, I have all the money, soldiers, and servants I can use!"

This isn't you. What have they done to you in a matter of days?

You hated it, every bit of it. This wasn't the Sanji you knew, it wasn't him at all. He never cared about money or anything like that. He'd always told you his past didn't matter, because all he could see was a future with you and the Straw Hats. Something had happened, in the few days you'd been apart, that changed the sweet, loving man you knew. What it was, you didn't know, you just knew something was wrong.

"If my choice is between returning to you and your chuckle-headed crewmates, and living in luxury here with Big Mom's beautiful daughter as my wife…which do you think will make me happier?!"

Nami was angry on your behalf, on the behalf of Luffy as well. For Luffy, because he'd been the one to recruit Sanji and convince him to go with you all.

For you because of your relationship with him, and the insecurity you'd felt after meeting Pudding. Your face was blank, but the tears welling up in your eyes made her even angrier.

"There's no comparison! Stop taking that letter seriously! I'm not going back!!"

Just leave, please! I can't have your blood on my hands!

You didn't want to hear another word, you actually wanted to take Luffy and Nami, leave and forget about this whole retrieval mission. At least, you thought you did, until the next thing Sanji said.

"I don't even know if you really can become king of the Pirates! I'm through playing pirate with your rag-tag crew," Sanji looked over at you, trying his hardest not to flee the carriage and pull you to him, he had to do something to keep you safe and even hated the next words out of his own mouth, "and I'm tired of playing romance, we're done."

"Sanji!!"

Luffy took it upon himself, of course, to try and fight Sanji to force him back. You stayed with Nami, Sanji's words replaying over and over in your head. You barely paid attention to the fight, even after Sanji returned to the carriage and Luffy yelled out to him that he'd never eat anyone else's food because Sanji was his chef, how he couldn't become king of the Pirates without him.

You felt a rush of adrenaline and ran up beside your captain who had just fallen to the ground, and took your turn shouting at the departing carriage.

"Sanji!!! I don't care what you said, I love you! You know I do!! I know we weren't just playing romance! I'll wait for you to come back too!!"

You didn't know if he actually heard you, but you hoped and prayed he did, while you collapsed by Luffy, the exhaustion of the last two days hitting you finally, along with the aching in your heart.

+!+

"Playing romance?? Is that what you've been doing as a pirate? Ha!" Yonji laughed at your shouted confession, while Sanji continued to cry over everything that had happened.

Luffy was determined to get him back, despite the fact he'd tried to drive him off, forcing you all to leave.

Nami slapped him which he knew he deserved, he'd hurt his closest friends and the pain from that was far worse than her slap.

And then you. You, his sweet, kind, patient, loving girlfriend, how could he do that to you, of all people? He was certain his family didn't know whether he looked at you or Nami, but when he locked eyes with you, the tears starting down your face as he just broke up with you, claiming it was just playing romance when he'd never do such a thing to you, it hurt him worse than anything else that had just happened.

Your yelling didn't help, he'd heard every word. You revealed your relationship on purpose so he knew you still loved him.

He didn't know how you could, of course feelings won't go away that quickly. Every day you'd tell him you loved him with a smile, sometimes that you hoped you'd have the chance to get married one day.

Sanji never understood why you truly loved him, why you wanted to marry him. He always refused to tell you about his horrendous family life growing up, but you always accepted it and said he could whenever he was ready. He told you he loved you first, and was surprised when you cried and told him the same, throwing your arms around him and kissing him.

He didn't deserve you, he knew that. He didn't deserve to have his thoughts be about marrying you, his late night wonderings about what your kids would look like. No, Sanji believed that now, he didn't deserve a life with you. Now you could go find someone who did deserve you, you weren't tied to him anymore. Maybe if you'd all go to Wano, you'd meet someone else, or even fall for Law or hell, he'd even expect Usopp.

Whatever was next, he thought you'd be better off without him.

She deserves better than a failure like me anyway.

+!+

"I can't believe you're letting him go like that." Nami tried to be angry as she sat beside you and Luffy, but she was struggling to even pretend. That bout he and Sanji just had was enough to cause her to slap the blond, out of frustration for Luffy and you. It didn't make her feel any better, but she thought maybe it would help you a little.

"I can't be mad at him." You admitted quietly, pulling your knees to your chest and setting your chin on them. "Could you see it? Did you hear his voice?"

"Of course I did! He just insulted Luffy and broke up with you in front of everyone that was here!"

"He's not doing it because he wants to!"

Nami was a bit surprised you shouted, but Luffy wasn't. He'd noticed the same as you did, the way Sanji looked at him in feign hatred that was really shock you'd all shown up, the way his voice wasn't normal, it almost quivered as he stated he'd become tired of playing romance with you and he'd chosen to quit being a pirate and accept his royal heritage.

"Everything was a lie, Nami! Everything that just happened, he doesn't want to do this to us!" You had hoped the syrupy rain would cover your tears, and it did, until you choked out a sob. "He's trying to protect us, I get that! It does hurt like hell to hear him say what he did, but…but he's keeping us safe as best he can."

Nami quickly moved over and hugged you tightly, apologizing for being upset about what had just happened. She knew that you knew Sanji better than any of them at this point, and your relationship may have been revealed to Luffy in a way you didn't want, but she was sure you and Sanji, if you could get him out of this arranged marriage, would be okay.

On the other hand, Luffy laughed a bit, giving you a big smile. "You're right! We'll get him back, and you guys can get married instead!"

"Sorry you found out this way, Luffy."

Shaking his head, Luffy just grinned with a giggle. "Don't worry about it. If you guys are happy, that's all good! You guys gotta get married on Sunny though!"

"If he ever wants to even think about marriage after this, I'd be glad to." Laughing as well, you knew it wouldn't be long before someone from Big Mom's castle came to capture you, and you would accept that for now. It might place you closer to Sanji in the end, for all you knew.

Luffy would rescue him, he just had to.

+!+

"That sneaky, conniving, little bi–"

"Hey, watch your language!"

Nami couldn't believe how angry you were, she'd never seen you so ready to harm yourself in order to get to someone else. Of course, the fact that Pudding just told the three of you the true intentions of this wedding, that she was going to be killing Sanji tomorrow, didn't help at all. You were struggling to get free from the nail-like candy trapping you in a cell, just as Luffy was though he was twisting himself to a point you feared he'd never come back from. Your anger was too much, you rarely ever swore and now Nami had heard you call Pudding and the rest of the Charlotte family a colorful array of names in about thirty seconds.

"How dare they! They think they're gonna kill the love of my life and get away with it?!"

"What about his family?"

"I don't care about them!!"

"You're gonna be a great daughter-in-law."

You stopped your attempts to escape and sent Nami a slight side eye, which made her roll her eyes. You'd never do anything to her, and she understood you didn't seem to be a fan of your possible future in-laws, but you really needed to calm down before the jailer caught wind of what you and Luffy were doing.

You hated how weak you felt, especially when Opera went to take Nami to get Lola's location out of her, but you were beyond glad when Jimbei showed up and freed the three of you, before you or Luffy could hurt yourselves further.

You followed your captain into the castle to try and find Sanji, but found yourselves pulled into another room and face to face with his sister, Reiju. Once she informed you that Sanji knew the truth about the next day, Luffy thanked her and jumped out a window to go to the spot he promised Sanji he'd be waiting at, but you stayed behind.

You really wanted to talk with Reiju.

"And you are? I know you were on the ship when I saved your captain."

"I'm [Y/N], I'm Sanji's girl–" you had to stop yourself, biting your lip and shaking your head. "I'm a member of the Straw Hats like Sanji."

You two were technically broken up at the moment, whether you accepted that or not. It felt like you couldn't call yourself his girlfriend right now, no matter how much it hurt your heart to stop yourself.

"Oooh, I see," Reiju smiled a bit at you, and you started to calm down. "You're the girl he told me about."

"He-He did?"

She nodded, still smiling at you. Once they had discussed the assassination plot, Sanji ended up telling Reiju a bit about you, and how he felt like garbage for breaking up with you the way he did, where he did. He'd even admitted he wouldn't blame you if you didn't take him back after all of this. He thought he was completely unworthy of your love now, you'd never take a failure like him back, and he just somehow knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness or love.

You deserved better than him, in Sanji's mind.

"He did, probably not everything but some things. Said you were the prettiest girl he'd ever met, and he was so in love with you."

Your heart clenched and you reached up to grip the necklace he'd found and bought for you in Water Seven. The little silver heart still made you happy anytime you looked at it.

"He hates what he did to you, and hoped that you'd take him back if he got to return." Reiju's smile softened as you started to cry, both hands tightly wrapped around your necklace now. "He thinks he should die with us tomorrow, but you need to help your captain get him out of here. The bracelets he's wearing are duds, he'll be fine if you leave with him."

"I…I'm so glad!" Your sobs were silent this time, while you started to smile so no one got suspicious of who was with Reiju. "The thought of Sanji marrying someone else has made me so sick to my stomach! But…just knowing he still loves me…is more than enough for the moment!"

You really did believe what you told Nami, that Sanji did what he had to in order to protect you guys and Zeff, to keep you from coming after him, but a part of you feared it was all genuine. That he didn't love you anymore, he didn't want to be a pirate or a cook anymore. It was just a small, nagging fear in the back of your mind, but now it had been squashed. You were no longer afraid or worried he had fallen out of love with you, cooking, or the sea.

He was still Sanji. Nothing had changed.

You thanked Reiju for the information, deciding to go find Nami again and leave the castle, when she stopped you and asked if you wanted to know about their childhood, how Sanji ended up in the East Blue, and about their mother.

Truthfully, you desperately did want to know, but you shook your head at her offer with a small smile.

"Sanji will tell me when he's ready."

+!+

You did find Nami and Jimbei, joining them in fighting to get out of the castle before you were dragged into the Mirro-world by Chopper and Carrot. Pedro was back with you as well, and you didn't fully understand why Big Mom's daughter Brulee or this guy named Diesel were with you, but if it helped you accomplish your goals, you figured it was ok. Your next task was to find Brook, and you did, nestled in Big Mom's arms as she slept, treating him like a stuffed animal. A few rescue attempts later you had him back, and he'd even gotten a copy of her Poneglyphs for Robin to read later.

Once you were all together, the only ones you needed were Luffy and Sanji, and you were lucky enough to find shards of the mirror that was destroyed in the place Luffy said he would stay. You were all able to get into contact with the two, everyone else cheering that Sanji was back while you held back your tears when he said your name, asking if you were there and all right.

"I'm here. I'm okay, don't worry."

"Oh, mon amour, I'm so, so sorry, I–"

"Sanji, we'll talk later. For now…leave things as they are. We have other things to do."

Hearing his soft agreement hurt you a bit, but you couldn't have such a talk with everyone else around. Not now, not here. Chopper and Brook asked you what was going on as you all headed for Capone Bege's place, and all you told them was that you and Sanji had been dating for a couple years, but were broken up for the moment due to the circumstances. They were both shocked you'd keep such a relationship secret, but also sad for the two of you to be in the situation you were in. You were certain everything would be alright once this wedding was stopped, once the assassination plot was ended, but until then, you'd keep your relationship status as broken up, despite the thought hurting you even more.

+!+

Upon arrival at Bege's place, you, Nami, and Carrot went off to take a much needed bath, Nami speaking and connecting with Chiffon thanks to her having been friends with Lola for the time you all were at Thriller Bark. Carrot was enjoying the bath greatly, and you were glad to be able to wash away the gross feelings of the last two days, but you weren't really looking forward to seeing Sanji yet. You wanted to hide in the bath the whole time, making Carrot nervous as you sunk down further, letting the water come up to your nose so you could still breathe. Nami wasn't that concerned, she knew you were still upset but you weren't going to do anything to yourself. You'd be fine after some time, once you and Sanji could actually talk.

You did eventually leave the bath, changing into the [f/c] dress that Chiffon had left for you. It hit about your knees and had long sleeves, but you did think it was a nice dress for the time being.

When you were on your way to the room Chiffon said this brief alliance discussion would be taking place in, you caught sight of Sanji about to go into the room himself, before he saw you. His eyes lit up and he told Luffy to go without him, turning and walking towards you, hoping you'd let him explain quickly.

"[Y/N]. I've missed you so much." You let Sanji hug you, returning it tightly and saying the same thing. It'd been far too long, you two hadn't truly been around each other since your arrival in Dressrosa, and that was a few weeks ago now.

You really had missed him.

Releasing you, Sanji took your face in his hands and placed his forehead against yours, making you start to tear up just because you had missed him terribly the last few days, you missed being so close to him, missed just holding his hands and talking to him, and were glad he was in front of you again.

"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't…I never wanted…"

"I know. It's okay, I understand, you were trying to protect us."

"It doesn't justify what I said to you," he shook his head, making sure you were looking him in the eyes so you knew he wasn't lying, "It's not just playing romance with you, you know that, right? You know I'm serious about us."

You nod, removing his hands from your face to just hold them, staying as close as you can be without hugging. "I know, but it's okay for the moment. We don't have the time to talk about this, but, once we're back on Sunny, we should sit and talk, all right?"

Nodding, Sanji agreed with you. There was no time to work this out right then, so you'd have to put it on the back burner and wait for now. Wait until this sham wedding was stopped, Big Mom would potentially be assassinated, and Sanji would be free from having to deal with his family ever again. You'd make sure they stayed away, even if it killed you.

"I love you. Only you, now and always."

"I love you too, Sanji."

Everything would be okay. Just a bit longer, and you'd all be back on Sunny and heading for Wano.

+!+

The assassination plot against Big Mom had failed, but so had hers against the Vinsmoke family, she was never going to have the technology from Germa now. Once the wedding cake had been ruined, her hunger pangs began and she started a rampage, but by then, you all had moved back to the Seducing Woods where Sunny was waiting, this time with Sanji alongside you. He'd rescued his family, before disowning his father who accepted that to your shock, and now he was wondering why you kept giving him odd looks.

"What's up?"

You just kind of looked him over, making him slightly nervous before you shrugged with a slight frown.

"You look better in black. White doesn't suit you as well."

"That…THAT'S IT?!" Sanji was only shocked for a moment before you giggled, saying he still looked handsome but black was definitely more his color. He'd thought something was wrong! It made him glad to hear that the 'problem' was just the color suit he'd been forced to wear.

You all were interrupted by a flying carpet carrying Chiffon and Pudding, the latter of the two wanting Sanji to go with them to make a cake that could satisfy Big Mom's cravings, even though she kept switching between seeming lovestruck by Sanji and wanting to kill him still. Despite your comment and reiterating of love for each other, you two hadn't properly reconciled your relationship, so for the moment, you were willing to let Sanji go if it meant stopping Big Mom's rampage.

Sanji, though, wasn't so keen on the idea of leaving you again, even though you would be with the rest of your crew, but you promised him you'd be fine. You knew how to fight, you'd throw a few shuriken and some kunai with trip wire or paper bombs to stop whoever came after you all. He gave you the quickest hug, holding your hand while he promised he'd be back as soon as possible, making you laugh.

"You'd better not be lying to me."

"Never in a million years, mon amour."

You barely took notice of the way Pudding looked at you until Sanji joined her and Chiffon on the flying carpet. She was looking at you like she knew, the entire time, that you were the one he'd told her he'd given his heart too. You never confirmed or denied it when you spoke with her the first time, but it seemed like she could tell. You didn't say a word to her, just nodded and followed everyone else back to Sunny.

You felt you could trust Pudding for now.

+!+

Luffy had disappeared into the Mirro-world with another of Big Mom's children, Katakuri, and you could assume a fight had taken place. Sanji had left with Chiffon and Pudding to recreate the wedding cake to stop Big Mom from rampaging through her own kingdom.

The rest of you had been able to get on board Sunny and away from the shore, now just trying to stay away from anyone that came towards you as you attempted to reach Cacao Island to reunite with your missing captain and chef. It took longer than you personally liked, and Big Mom had attacked Sunny as you all went on, Nami being the one to temporarily stop her by discharging lightning from a cloud Homie named Zeus, who she promptly captured as her own.

You'd all made it to Cacao Island in time for Sanji and Luffy to almost be thrown to the ship, making your getaway surprisingly with the help of the Germa fleet to keep Big Mom's fleet of ships from you.

It'd been a while since you were able to successfully escape from Big Mom and Totto Land, you sat relieved on the Sunny's deck, thankful to be on the way to Wano and to have Sanji back finally.

Luffy was laid out on the deck too, his stomach started growling after a bit which made you laugh.

"Hey uh," it was weird to hear Sanji sound so unsure as he spoke, but still it made you smile, "I could…make you a meal?"

He didn't have a chance to run before Luffy, Brook, Chopper, and Carrot were nearly mauling him at the thought of having his cooking, making Sanji ask if you all had eaten while he'd been gone. All of you followed him to the kitchen where he prepared food for you, making you the happiest by seeing him in his element, doing what he loved.

Of course, you two would need to sit and talk, but you'd already asked Nami to place you on the first night watch so you and Sanji could have a talk uninterrupted.

Once you finished eating, you quietly snuck out to go to the crow's nest and wait. You were sure Sanji would want to clean the kitchen and wash the dishes before he even thought about bed, so you had time to think about what you wanted to say.

Sanji noticed you were gone not even five minutes later, hoping you still weren't upset over everything that had happened.

"Where–"

"She's on the first night watch," Nami smiled at Sanji when she knew what he was about to ask, "She said she'll be waiting for you."

Nodding, Sanji turned back to the stove to finish the next batch of food Luffy had asked for. He'd definitely join you once he was done, but he'd worry and stress over what to say, how to explain himself if you'd let him until then. He prayed you'd take him back, that you wouldn't still be upset with him. He'd tell you everything, no matter how much it hurt him personally, you deserved to know what you'd gotten into with him.

Please….please just accept me still.

+!+

The sound of the hatch to the crow's nest opening woke you from your light nap, you quickly rubbed your eyes before looking to see who it was, grinning when you saw exactly who you'd been waiting for.

"Sanji!" He barely entered the room before you'd jumped up from your spot, fully awake now, and threw your arms around him, kissing his face while he tried to keep from falling with you.

"Hey, hey, calm down! You're gonna drag us to the floor!"

"Who cares?!"

He was able to stay upright with you holding onto him, setting you down after a moment. You smiled and once he'd closed the hatch, you dragged him over the bench with you, making him sit right next to you while you held his hand. There was no way you were letting him go again, not until you got to Wano at least. You also didn't want this conversation to last too long, you were sure he wanted to get out of that white wedding suit as soon as possible.

You were both quiet for a while, neither of you sure where to start, but you decided to break the ice by leaning closer and kissing Sanji on the cheek with a smile.

"I love you."

"How could you still love me after all of this?"

Humming a bit, you furrowed your brow seeing Sanji wouldn't look at you. He'd told you he loved you just the night before at Bege's castle, and you responded the same. Did he think you'd really stop loving him simply because of his family, because of this arranged marriage crap? All in a matter of a day?

"Sanji," you held his hand tighter, using your free one to make him look at you, smiling softly at him, "none of it was your fault."

"Of course it–"

"No, listen to me. Nothing that happened the last few days was your fault. You were being used by people who don't care about you like we do," you stopped to kiss him briefly, which caused Sanji to hug you so tightly, "they don't love you like I do especially. Nothing could stop me from loving you, Sanji."

Sanji severely did not want to start crying to you, he didn't want you to feel any kind of pity for him. You never would, he knew that, but it was just a small fear. He still was determined to tell you about his childhood, hoping you'd still want to be with him after you heard everything, after you learned how he ended up in the East Blue and working with Zeff at the Baratie.

But he knew deep down that you'd never leave him just because of what he was subjected to. You might want to go back and kill his brothers but you wouldn't leave him.

"I love you. I love you so, so damn much."

You hummed lightly with a soft smile, hugging him tighter and kissing the top of his head. "I love you too, Sanji; so much more than you'll ever know."

Sanji fully believed you. He knew you loved him and wouldn't leave him. You'd stay with him and continue to help him move on from his past, continuing to help him heal and plan a life with you instead.

He hoped you'd like that idea.

+!+

"Sanji, what do you want to do with this suit?"

"Burn it for all I care."

You laughed, halfway expecting that answer while Sanji got ready for the day. You two had spent your entire night watch talking, he'd told you all about his childhood and apologized too many times for your liking, but it all ended up all right in the end. When Nami came in to take over, you'd both fallen asleep and if Zoro was there, he and Sanji would be having an argument, but since it was Nami, she gently woke you both and told you to go downstairs and sleep. Sanji ended up picking you up bridal style once you two had made it down to the deck, making you giggle and hug him around his neck. You kicked your legs like a child and while he smiled, Sanji told you to be careful so he didn't drop you, but you knew he'd never. He had taken you to the women's bunks and was going to leave you in your bed to go to his own, but you grabbed him before he could go anyway and asked him to stay, which he gladly did so.

Now you were getting ready to continue onward to Wano, and you just wanted to know what to do with the suit he'd worn the day before. There really wasn't anything wrong with it, apart from the memories that would be attached to it and the fact you had said he looked better in black, Sanji didn't want to keep it at all.

You dug through the pockets to make sure he hadn't left his lighter or anything in them, before finding a strange black item with a 3 on it.

"What's this?"

"Hmm?"

Eyes widening at the item in your hands, Sanji stopped brushing his teeth and almost choked on the toothpaste in his mouth before spitting it out and snatching the item from your hands.

"How the hell did this get here?"

He didn't tell you a thing and started walking out to the deck, leaving you to follow.

"Sanji, wait! What is it??"

"Trash is what it is!"

Luffy and the others were on the deck as you two walked out, and when he saw the item in Sanji's hand he used his Gum Gum powers to stretch out and take it.

"Is this a raid suit like what your family had?!"

"A raid suit?!" Chopper's eyes lit up into stars, and he and Luffy started begging Sanji to try the raid suit, but he adamantly refused. He figured that his brother Niji must've been the one to give him the suit, saying he was the only one to actually have contact with him and Luffy when they were escaping Totto Land. Luffy and Chopper continued to whine and beg Sanji to try the raid suit, the two wanted to see what cool transformation would happen, but Sanji absolutely did not want to have anything to do with Germa's science.

"You might be able to shoot lasers!!!"

"Look, we don't need another person that can shoot lasers! It's enough that we've got Franky! I don't want that Germa science near me! In fact," he gave them both a small glare, "Don't ever say the words Vinsmoke or Germa around me! Both are forbidden!"

While the two whined, Nami brought up how she uses science herself, showing off Zeus who had made his new home in her climate baton, having chosen food over loyalty, when Carrot jumped down with the latest Coo News.

"It says here that Luffy, Sanji, Jimbei, and Bege attempted to assassinate Big Mom, and that Luffy was the ringleader!" She flipped the pages and a few bounty posters fell out when she did so. "Oh, new bounty posters."

You and Sanji both caught sight of one of them, you were excited and he was surprised.

"Ah!"

"Your bounty went up, Sanji!!"

You were so happy for him that you couldn't help it, you threw your arms around his neck laughing! No point in hiding your relationship now, not after a shouted confession and having to explain the situation to Chopper and Brook. The only ones who didn't know yet were Usopp and Franky, and you intended to tell them as soon as you met up with them in Wano.

"It's 330 million berries! Wait, what's the moss head's bounty?!"

"I believe," Brook answered before anyone else had the chance to, "it's 320 million."

"Yes! In your face, moss head!!" Sanji grinned and finally hugged you back, twirling just a bit with you, asking if you were proud of your super awesome boyfriend who had a higher bounty than Zoro. All you did was laugh and nod, you truly were proud of him!

"Oh hey," Chopper held another bounty poster in his hands and held it up to the two of you, "[Y/N]'s bounty went up to! It's 120 million now!"

"What?!" Your face went red as you took the poster from Chopper, absolutely shocked yours went up at all. You didn't think you'd been mentioned in the article, so you didn't expect this! "Why did mine double?!"

"Who cares, you should be proud!" Taking your face in his hands, Sanji kept smiling with heart eyes and rubbed his nose and cheek against your own. "My beautiful girlfriend is so strong!! I'm so proud of you!!"

"Sanji!!" You blushed even worse, not used to being able to show affection so openly, but you'd get over it at some point.

"Ah young love, yohohoho!"

You ignored Brook while Sanji got another look at his poster, instantly becoming depressed when he realized his bounty likely only went up because of his family and Germa, due to it having his last name on it.

Carrot brought the paper over to you, telling you to check the article again. Doing so, you read through and your face went pale reading a few sentences stuck in the middle.

"'The assassination plot was aided by another Straw Hat pirate member, by the name of [L/N] [Y/N], a young kunoichi from Yume Village, an offshoot of Wano. She's believed to be in a relationship with Vinsmoke Sanji.' I…are you freaking kidding me?!"

Instead of being depressed you became angry, realizing it was most likely because of your relationship that your bounty went up, not really because of anything you did. You almost wanted to hide the rest of the day, but decided it wasn't worth it in the end. Your bounty had increased, your relationship was out in the world, you'd just have to accept it.

Luffy became depressed himself, reading his new poster and believing it said his bounty had dropped to 1.5 million berries, before Brook read it aloud and corrected him.

"Your bounty isn't 1.5 million berries. It's 1.5 billion berries!!"

"WHAT???!"

Everyone was so shocked, you had to read the poster for yourselves, to make sure it was accurate, and it was! Luffy had such a high bounty now, you all were excited for him; you personally were a little concerned, but Luffy was strong so everything would be all right!

Instead of there being any kind of concern, Luffy laughed and was glad his bounty hadn't gone down. Nami nearly smacked him on the head for being so nonchalant about it, before Sanji suggested he could start on breakfast, which everyone agreed to.

"Let me help you!"

You grabbed Sanji's hand before he could step away, and he gladly agreed to let you help him make breakfast. He placed you on your usual task of chopping vegetables for the omelets that he'd decided would be perfect to start the day with. It was quiet for a while, both of you focused and working on your tasks, Luffy coming in every few minutes to ask when breakfast would be ready before Sanji kicked him out and told him soon. The last time it happened, before even turning back to his own work, Sanji stopped and hugged you from behind, making you giggle.

"I love you, [Y/N]."

"I love you too, Sanji!"

I'm gonna marry you one day, I swear it.

#one piece x reader #reader insert #sanji x reader #blackleg sanji x reader #knowing fanfic #fem!reader #black leg sanji x reader

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msallurea · 1 year ago

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Your desires were never bigger than you, you created them..so why fear?

This post is actually inspired by a small thought I had while getting ready to take a bath 😭

So anyways back to my point, I will based this entirely on my experience just now, so boom, I was randomly thinking OF my desires wondering "hmm I already know every drop of loa info I need to know so why am I not applying?" That's when another thought of mine appeared and asked "is it because I wanna manifest a lot of things at once that I'm not applying or maybe I'm doing something wrong?" Then it was followed by "I've already affirmed before that I had all my desires/my dream life what was the issue? I know that the 3d doesn't matter, wavering doesn't slow down my manifestation, I've been WANTING my desires since forever, I've manifested things before what was so different about this?" And then that is when a very distinct voice said in my head

"Why would I be worried about not being able to have a desire that I created? How can my desire be bigger than me when I AM the one who created the desire in the first place?"

This has me sitting for a few moments rethinking EVERYTHING. That's when I began to change my perspective on this whole desiring thing entirely, if I am the creator of my reality and I created the desire in the first place and I also created the confusion AND ocercomplications around even having my desire, why am I questioning about something that I can just decide to have..BECAUSE I AM THE CREATOR OF MY REALITY. This honestly made Mr chuckle a bit. Especially because if had me thinking about people with epiphanies of loa, they aren't epiphanies at all, i already knew exactly what everything meant BUT I created all these overcomplications and rules and such that i literally forgot that I create all the time so therefore why would me creating fulfillment in having my desires be any different.

Then my mind started wandering to different methods because my mind already got the gist NOW that I literally do create the lack, the desire AND the fulfillment. But then it had me wondering how can I lack or desire something that I've already created? This is when one of Edward art's vids kicked in and I hear his voice in my head telling me:

"lack is an illusion and desire is an illusion, there is only just fulfillment and acceptance of that fulfillment"

So that's when my mind sat for a few seconds then went back to the whole methods thing and I thought about well hm..since I'm the creator of my reality what method should I do? That's when my mind began to go back again and it then says:

"Imagine someone anyone (for me this was higher self, my mom, and my lover at the moment) and they gave you a gift it had everything you could've ever desired and they told you yes it is all yours, you can have it its yours"

So though it wasn't vivid I didn't concern myself with that I just kept hearing the voice say yes it is yours yes you can have it yes you have it. Now it wasn't very long but it definitely made me wonder, a lot of times many of us don't "want to manifest" simply because they feel they don't deserve the things they want. In my case I knew I voild have the things I wanted and even in a way deserved it but my issue was that it was so much I wanted I didn't want to be judged for making my life the way I wanted it to be. This is when another thought comes up and says

"How could I be scared of something I created?"

This really had me thinking especially with times I've doubted and second guessed etc not only was I choosing the opposite of what I created but I was saying no to something I created that I constantly searched to get a yes to, it didnt matter what anyone else answer was the only yes I ever really needed was my own because it was my own creation.

This is all I have right now but I just thought this thought was really funny to me

#manifesting #my blog #msallurea #law of assumption #manifestation #neville goddard

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maximoffcarter · 7 months ago

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Night.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader.

Warnings: Mentions of rape, mentions of trauma.

Summary: Focused on 6x20. Reader and Casey had been dating for a while now, but Casey decided to keep her relationship a secret for safe. After a new case, Casey wonders if she would hide if something happened to her from her partner.

A/n: This was requested by @alexandracabotswife, based on 6x20, some things I changed, some things stayed the same...there is angst in this. BUT there's a happy ending no worries, friends. I swear I already know the whole chapter by memory for how many times I've wrote about it and I believe I have another request but with Calex hahaha. Keep the requests coming you guys! Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

Casey Novak was known for being private when it came to her private life, the only thing they knew about her that was out of work, was that she played softball and that was about it. She never thought that it was necessary to tell the squad about her life, so she just focused on her job. The moment Olivia told her about what had happened to her years ago with her mom, she knew that somehow they had passed from being just coworkers to friends, creating a new bond that she thought it’d take longer to get. After a while, she thought about telling Olivia about her partner, but she knew that once it was out there that she had a partner, she could put her at risk if any case had a turn and they wanted to threaten anyone from the squad, so she opted to still keep it a secret for a little longer. It was better for her because that way she wouldn’t have to share her girlfriend with anyone else.

Y/n knew how this whole thing would go the moment she knew Casey was an ADA, and she didn’t blame her at all, she was more than okay with it. She had a busy life too and the only times she really got to see Casey were after her long shifts and whenever she got to escape for a bit at lunch time, which sometimes happened to be at the same time as Casey’s. They managed to have an easy routine in their lives to make their relationship work and even if for other people this was hectic and would definitely not work at all, for Casey and y/n worked perfectly, and they couldn’t be happier. Y/n dreaded the nights where Casey called telling her that she’d stay longer in the office, she knew the cases, she was always the one who received the rape patients and she happened to see the detectives coming to take their statement, and she feared that one day someone could hurt Casey and she’d appear in her ER.

Y/n sighed in relief as she heard the door closing, looking up from her book and waiting for Casey to appear in the room. She smiled when she saw the blonde, a smile on her face. “Hey you.”

“Hi.” Casey smiled softly as she walked to y/n and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I thought I’d find you asleep.”

Y/n shrugged. “I wanted to wait for you.” She smiled softly as her eyes followed Casey around the room.

“Sorry I came home late. I needed to finish some paperwork for tomorrow.” Casey sighed as she grabbed her pajamas, turning to look at her girlfriend. “You should sleep, your shift starts tomorrow at 7 am, right?”

“Yeah, so you better hurry cause I want my girlfriend to hold me.” Y/n smiled softly.

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “Coming.” She smiled as she went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Not long after, she came out the bathroom, turning off all the lights and crawling into bed with y/n. She kissed her lips softly and wrapped her arms around her. “Your day was okay?”

Y/n rested her head against Casey’s chest and nodded. “It was okay. I got some reading done and I did some laundry. I forgot I needed some clean scrubs.”

Casey smiled. “Good. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it for dinner.”

“You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” Y/n smiled softly.

Casey nodded as she kissed her forehead. “I am. I’m always coming home, baby.”

“You better.” Y/n turned to kiss Casey’s neck softly and bury her face in it. “Don’t mind me, the book is getting sadder the more I read it and it’s getting to me.”

Casey chuckled softly. “It’s fiction, my love. And I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. And you better not go anywhere either.”

Y/n shook her head. “Not planning on it, you can’t get rid of me, Novak.” She looked up at Casey and smiled. “We made a pact, remember? No breaking up in this relationship. You done with me? Go to sleep.”

“And I’ll keep that pact.” Casey smiled as she leaned down to kiss her lips.

********************

“Do you think Nina said anything to Milan now that she was almost deported?” Olivia asked as she looked up at Casey.

Casey shrugged. “I don’t think so. Or maybe she did, but I cannot imagine how he could’ve reacted.” She sighed. “I mean, I get why she wouldn’t tell him. But go through the whole thing alone?”

“Sometimes it’s easier to go through it alone than drag someone with us. And not only that, but their beliefs have a lot to do with it.” Olivia shrugged. “Sometimes it’s harder to talk to the people we care about and show them weakness.”

Casey nodded softly as she looked down at her hands. “Would you tell someone?” She looked up at Olivia.

Olivia stared at her for a moment, sighing softly. “I’m not sure. All I have is you guys. And I’m sure even if I tried to hide it, you’d hear about it.” She grinned. “How about you? Anyone I should know about?”

It was Casey’s time to stare at Olivia, not sure if this was the moment she confessed she had a relationship or if she should lie about it. She nibbled on her lip for a moment as her eyes returned to her hands, fidgeting with the pen she had in her hands. “She’d find out too.” She said softly, almost in a whisper.

Olivia frowned, a faint grin on her face. “She?”

Casey smiled as she looked at Olivia. “You know Dr. y/l/n? Head of trauma?”

Olivia tilted her head as she smirked. “Casey Novak…you were holding out on me.”

“For personal reasons.” Casey grinned. “You know the job, Liv. I might only be an attorney but…I didn’t want her to get involved in case someone decided to threaten me.”

Olivia nodded. “I understand that.” She smiled. “How long?”

“Almost a year. We’re already living together.” Casey smiled. “We agreed to keep it private. She knows I work here.”

“I’m happy for you, Case.” Olivia smiled. “So…would you like her to know?”

“Like I said…she’d probably be the first one to know but…the thought of worrying her…I hate to see her sad.”

“You’re her girlfriend, you cannot avoid it.” Olivia raised her brow as she grinned. “You’d like to know if something happened to her, right?”

Casey nodded. “I mean, it’s stupid that we’re even talking about this, she literally put herself as my emergency contact, and she put me as hers.”

“Of course she would.” Olivia chuckled softly. “She just wants to make sure you’re safe. You got yourself a doctor, Case. And not only a doctor, but a head of trauma.” She grinned as she teased. “You not getting out of it easily.”

Casey chuckled. “I know that. I’m lucky.” She smiled softly.

********************

“Lunch delivery for Casey Novak?”

Casey looked up and smiled softly as she looked at her girlfriend. “I’m Casey.”

“Such a beautiful woman. Would it be too forward to ask for your number?” Y/n closed the door behind her and walked to Casey’s desk, dropping the bag of food.

Casey shrugged. “I’m taken, sorry.”

Y/n nodded, making sure the blinds were closed and then looked back at Casey. “Correct answer, you passed the test.” She leaned down and whispered the last word against Casey’s lips, kissing her softly.

Casey smiled against her lips. “I’m glad you had the chance to come.”

Y/n grabbed a chair and placed it beside Casey, sitting down and opening the bag. “Well, I have about an hour before my pager goes off, but I at least wanted to see my pretty girl.” She looked at Casey. “Still on with the case?”

Casey sighed. “Yeah, he’s back with his mom but…” she shrugged. “We just need to look a bit more into this. I’ll probably have to stay late again. I’m sorry I can’t take you to the airport.” She grabbed the box that y/n handed her and placed it in front of her, putting away some paperwork.

“That’s okay, love. I can get there alone.” Y/n smiled. “I should only be gone for 5 days, just a few conferences and then I’ll be back.”

Casey nodded. “Just let me know when you’re there and try updating me every chance you get.”

Y/n looked back at Casey and smiled softly, swallowing the food she had in her mouth to answer Casey. “You’re cute when you’re all overprotective.”

Casey chuckled as she noticed the mustard on the side of her lip, leaning in and licking it clean. “You’re my girlfriend, that’s my job.”

Y/n looked at her straight in the eyes and grinned. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Novak.”

Casey smirked. “Ever heard of teasing, y/l/n?”

“Oh, you don’t wanna do that.” Y/n leaned in and kissed her lips painfully slowly. But before she could make another move, her pager went off, making her groan. She looked at it and sighed softly. “Guess I’ll have to finish my lunch later.”

Casey sighed softly and nodded. “Make sure you do. And thank you for coming, even if it was for a bit.” She smiled.

“Always.” Y/n smiled and kissed her lips one last time. “I’ll see you in a few days, okay? Try not to get in trouble.”

Casey chuckled. “And you be safe, you better not find anyone new there.” She teased.

“How could I? I already got the girl of my dreams.” Y/n winked at her. “I love you.” She smiled as she grabbed her lunch and walked out of the office.

Casey smiled softly as she watched her girlfriend go, sighing as she leaned back in her chair. The conversation with Olivia played in her mind as she looked at the files. She knew she was overprotective herself, with the cases she worked, she just wanted to make sure that her girlfriend was safe, and she knew y/n wanted the same for Casey, which is what made them work so perfectly well, because they understood each other’s worries. Casey mentioned Charlie to y/n, she had never really talked about the trauma that it had left on her, flinching at any possible moment if someone near her raised a hand, was definitely not into choking, and many other things that with the time she had noticed that she did, and y/n had accepted her fully, with trauma, fears, and all. She was the only one who truly knew what had happened with Charlie, and she felt so lucky to have someone like her. She felt loved and safe, she felt cared for, and she wanted the same y/n.

********************

The last thing Casey expected was to get attacked at her office and not remember anything about it. Did she fight back? Did she get to hurt him? She always had her softball bat near her, whether she was going to the batting cages, or she just left it there to have a replacement in case she forgot hers back home. Did she remember to grab it and try to defend herself? She couldn’t remember a thing, and she knew it was okay, it happened, it wasn’t weird for her to not remember anything. Olivia told her the damage she had suffered, she didn’t wake up for a whole day, and she could definitely feel the pain radiating through her body, but she didn’t want to show more weakness as it was. She was glad it was Olivia and not Elliot who went to check on her, cause then she’d also have to hide the fact that she just wanted to burst down into tears. She cried for a bit more, feeling Olivia’s hand holding hers for comfort and to let her know she was there.

“Liv?” Casey whispered softly as she looked at her.

“Yes? Do you need something, honey?” Olivia asked softly.

Casey felt more tears rolling down her cheek as she looked at Olivia. “Don’t tell y/n.”

Olivia sighed. “Casey-“

“Please.” Casey pleaded as her bottom lip trembled. “She’s away. She’s not coming back yet and I…I don’t want her to panic. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t know, Casey.” Olivia shook her head. “She’ll figure it out once she’s back.”

“I’ll deal with it then. I don’t want her to know what happened to me.”

“And what, you’re gonna lie to her? Sweetheart-“

“Please, Liv.” Casey whispered softly. “I know I need…to tell her but…” she sobbed. “I don’t want her to panic. She’s been waiting for these conferences for a while, and-“

“And don’t you think she’ll drop everything to come to you? Casey, she’s your partner. You told me, she’d want to know if something happened to you, just like you’d want to know. What if…” Olivia sighed. “What if it was her here? Wouldn’t you want to know?”

Casey closed her eyes as she took a shaky breath. “Yes.” She whispered.

“They discharge you tomorrow morning. We’ll let tonight pass, but tomorrow morning, we’re calling her, Casey.” Olivia said softly.

Casey looked back at Olivia with sad eyes, nodding softly. “Okay.”

Olivia nodded. “Okay. And I’m staying here with you, I’m not going anywhere.”

Casey offered a small smile. “Thanks.”

Casey knew it was wrong, she knew that she’d want to get to the hospital as soon as they called her. She was surprised that the hospital decided not to call her the moment she arrived, but Olivia had told the nurses to keep this case to themselves for now until they knew Casey was not in danger anymore. Casey tried to sleep, she really tried, the painkillers doing wonders to stop the pain, but her mind couldn’t stop spinning around, she tried so hard to remember what happened to her, how it all went bad in an instant. She didn’t tell Olivia, but she heard her asking a nurse if she had the results back from the rape kit, wanting to make sure she was clear because she had found Casey with her shirt open and her pants unbuttoned, and she wanted to sigh in relief once she heard the kit was clear and she had not been raped, but they had tried to do it, whoever did this to her, they were about to do it. Part of her wished that y/n was there, holding her and telling her that things will be alright, but also she was glad that she had been away when this happened, because if it had been y/n finding her in her office, she wouldn’t be able to bear with the thought of having y/n wondering if she was okay or not.

********************

Casey groaned as she sat back down in the hospital bed, trying to ignore the awful pain all over her body and also frustrated at the fact that she’d need to use a stupid cane for the next few days. She was 30 years old and already using a cane. She had told Olivia that she could just grab a cab or something to head back home but both Olivia and Stabler rejected her idea, telling her to wait for Olivia to show up once she was done in the precinct. She felt tired from laying down for a whole day, but she tried to walk, and she got just as tired. It was mostly the pain, she couldn’t hold herself on her feet for longer than 10 min or the pain would show up. She was thinking about lying back down or trying to walk again for a bit but before she could make that choice, she heard the door handle, thinking Olivia had finally arrived but her heart stopped at the sight of her girlfriend.

“Y/n.” Casey whispered softly.

Y/n closed the door behind her and stared at Casey. A mix of anger and worry painted her face. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Y/n, I-“

“No. You told Olivia to tell the nurses to put you as Jane Doe so I wouldn’t find out? But do I need to remind you that they also work for me, and they know I’m dating you?” Y/n stood at the door the whole time, not showing any other emotion other than seriousness, while her arms were crossed.

“I didn’t want to worry you. I’m fine, and you were-“

“Fine, Casey? You-“ Y/n scoffed. “You have bruises all over your face, your left eye is swollen you can’t even open it, you got broken ribs. You could’ve had something worse than a concussion, Casey.”

Casey looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry.” She whispered softly, her voice cracking a bit.

Y/n sighed as she closed her eyes for a moment, feeling her eyes getting teary. She looked back at Casey and walked to her, sitting down next to her, and wrapping her arm around her shoulders carefully. “I’m sorry, baby. I just…the thought of you…here, alone. Seeing you like this.” Her voice broke for a moment as she spoke. “And I wasn’t here.”

Casey looked back at y/n and shook her head. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“You’re my girlfriend, that’s my job.” Y/n smiled as she saw Casey smiling. She kissed her head softly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have talked to you that way.”

“And I’m sorry I didn’t call you.” Casey looked at her and shrugged. “Can’t say I wouldn’t have reacted the same way you did. And do not dare to figure out if I would.”

Y/n chuckled. “I won’t.”

“Who told you anyway?”

Y/n sighed. “It so happened that the last day of conferences were cancelled. Dr. Morton got sick, and he decided he’d reschedule the conferences but here in New York as soon as he recovers. I called the hospital to let my boss know I was back in New York and to my surprise, Janice mentions that she saw my girlfriend last night and she promised she’d take care of you until I came to pick her up.” She raised her brow as she grinned. “Guess the note didn’t get to her in time.”

“Guess not.” Casey smiled as she sighed. “Olivia was supposed to come pick me up.”

“Well, you can just tell her you were too stubborn to wait for her and you called a cab.”

Casey smiled softly as she looked at y/n. “She knows about you.”

Y/n tilted her head as she smiled. “She does?” Casey nodded. “Did she-“

“I told her.” Casey smiled. “We were talking about the case and…it was brought up if I had someone, and I couldn’t hide it anymore.” She huffed a chuckle. “She was supposed to call you this morning to let you know. So no, I was not going to wait to tell you. Something came up and she had to go. She stayed with me all night.”

Y/n nodded as she sighed. “Then I should call her to thank her.” She smiled as she looked at Casey, trying to hold back tears. “Don’t do this again, Case. Please. When it comes to you, I don’t care about anything else. You hear me? You’re my priority, if I have to steal a plane to come to you, then I will.” She smiled sadly as she caressed her chin.

Casey chuckled softly as she nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. “You didn’t do that, did you?”

Y/n shrugged. “Don’t watch the news.” She grinned.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“So am I.” Y/n smiled as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

“Casey, I’m sorry, we were-“ Olivia stopped in her tracks as she stared at both of them, confusion taking over her face. “I uh- I’m sorry. Did I…interrupt something?”

Casey chuckled as she pulled away, looking at Olivia. “I believe you know y/n.”

Olivia nodded. “We’ve crossed paths once or twice. Just that now I know you as Casey’s girlfriend.” .” Olivia smiled, walking to them, and extending her hand. “Nice to meet you properly.” She then looked at Casey, letting go of y/n’s hand. “Guess you beat me to call her?”

“Nice to meet you properly too, and no.” Y/n chuckled. “You guys forgot that you cannot use the nurses against me.” She looked back at Casey and grinned, looking back at Olivia then. “But thank you for making sure Casey was okay and safe.”

Olivia nodded. “No problem.” She smiled. “So, guess you won’t be needing a ride anymore.”

“No, I got my girl here.” Casey smiled as she leaned into y/n.

“Guess I’ll see you later then.” Olivia smiled as she started to walk away. “You got a good one here.” She winked at Casey and walked out of the room.

Y/n looked back at Casey and smiled. “Ready to go home?”

Casey nodded. “Let’s go home.” She smiled.

********************

“Case, are you sure?” Y/n asked softly as she saw Casey grabbing her briefcase, sighing softly as she stood in the kitchen.

Casey looked back at her and offered a smile. “Baby, I’m okay. I just need to continue with this case, Nina-“

“The case matters more than your own health?” Y/n frowned as she stared at Casey.

“Y/n…” Casey sighed. “I don’t mean that. You know that, but…I need to end with this. I need to get this case done. I need to get her justice.”

“You need to get justice to the sister of the man that attacked you.” Y/n snapped. She took a deep breath as she looked away. “Casey, I- I know why you’re doing this, and I know Cragen asked you to talk to Nina, but baby.” She looked back at Casey and shook her head. “Are you sure you’re ready to go back there?”

Casey took a deep breath as she looked down at her briefcase, a serious look on her face. “It’s my job.” She looked back at y/n. “This is my case.”

Y/n sighed as she nodded, deciding not to keep going and stress Casey. “Can I at least drive you?”

Casey offered a small smile and nodded. “Okay. Can we go?”

Y/n nodded before she grabbed the keys and walked to Casey, grabbing the briefcase from her hands, raising a brow once she got the typical defying stare from Casey, but this time, Casey just let it go, knowing that y/n was doing enough already with letting her go. They first stopped at Nina’s place, Casey was ready to play the victim card if she had to if that meant she got to convince Nina to testify. She was surprised once Nina agreed to do whatever she needed to do, saving Casey a lot of time. Once she was back in the car, y/n knew that the next stop was her office, still against the idea but knowing better than to argue with Casey. Once they got there, y/n made sure to remind Casey that she could call her and she’d be there right away, Casey only telling her that everything would be okay.

To her luck, the first person she saw was Whitaker, dropping the news that she had been dropped off the case and she was now called to be a witness for the defense, making her even more upset than she already was. Once she was back in her office, she stopped for a moment as she opened the door and stared at her office. She still didn’t remember much of what happened that night, faint memories had shown up in the last few days, but she couldn’t make up the whole thing. She looked on the floors and at her desk, things were left as she remembered but the only difference was that she had more files than she had left that day in the afternoon. Olivia had mentioned that they were running over her notes and the case, so that explained all the files. She took a deep breath as she walked in, dropping the files she had in her arm and groaned softly as she felt the pain in her ribs, but before she could focus on anything else, Branch walked in.

“I heard you were back.” Branch tilted his head as he stared at Casey.

Casey turned to look at him and sighed. “And I was called to testify.” She handed him the notification.

Branch grabbed it and sighed as he read it. “Hell of strategy. Nina lost her virginity, was afraid of what her traditional Muslim brother might do if he found out. So, she lied about being raped.” He handed it back to Casey and looked at her.

“Yeah, Whitaker wants to use Milan’s attack on me to bolster his case.” Casey scoffed, pacing from one side to another. “He’s violent, therefore Nina’s afraid, so she made up a story about being raped by Gabriel Duvall.”

“It’s a compelling argument.” Branch followed her to the back of her office, his eyes staying on Casey the whole time.

Casey turned back to look at Branch. “I can win this motion. A, I’m up in front of Judge Trillin, and he loves me. B, the way I look, I’m gonna get the sympathy vote-“

“Casey. I’m taking this case away from you.” Branch simply said, staring at Casey and preparing for what was coming.

Casey stared at him for a moment, not saying a word. She shook her head. “You can’t. Not after what I’ve been through.” She walked to him, her defying stare painted on her face. “No one wants to win this case more than I do.”

“Which is exactly why you can’t try it. I hate to say this, but Whitaker was right. You’re too emotionally involved. I’ve already reassigned the case.”

“To who?”

“Tracey Kibre.” Branch said as he walked to the door, knowing that Casey wouldn’t actually drop it.

Casey followed him to the door. “She’s a homicide AD. She’s not used to live victims. Nina won’t be able to relate to her.”

Branch sighed as he turned to look at Casey. “She’s putting Nina on the grand jury tomorrow morning, it’s decided, Casey.” He shook his head. “You shouldn’t even be here. I gave you free days.”

“That I was gonna take after I was done with this case.”

“Casey, you’re injured. You’re barely able to walk on your own. You were attacked. I can make the notification go away, so you don’t testify, but I need you to get some rest, you need to heal.” Branch placed his hand carefully on her shoulder. “I’m doing this because I care for you. Go home, Casey.” He offered a smile before he walked out of the office.

Casey sighed heavily as he closed the door, she stared at it for a while before she turned to look at her office again, and suddenly, as she stood alone in her office with the door closed, pictures of the night started to show up. She felt her whole body getting warm, and not a good warm. She tried to take a deep breath as she looked around, trying to focus her eyes on something, and then she noticed; her bat was gone. Her bat was gone. Did they take it? She swore the last time she was here before the attack, the bat was against the sofa, where she always put it. He attacked her with it, she was sure of it. She suddenly felt her face getting wet and she noticed that she had tears rolling down her cheeks, and her chest started to feel heavy, and her ribs were hurting as she tried to breath. Who was she kidding? Her mind had been focused on the case that she didn’t think the damage that would do to her to come back here. She pulled her cellphone out and dialed y/n’s number rapidly.

“Y/n?” Casey sobbed, sitting down on the couch as she placed her free hand over her face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I-I need you. I- please come pick me up. I can’t-“

“I’ll be right up, Casey. Just stay where you are.”

Casey hung up and placed her hand on her chest, trying to put pressure on it. She sobbed as she closed her eyes, trying to think of something else and not focus on her surroundings anymore, the pictures of that night were slowly coming back and now she regretted that a few days ago she was trying so hard to remember and now here she was, sobbing as she remembered every emotion she felt as she was getting beaten up. Before she could let her mind overthink even more, she felt arms wrapping around her, startling her, and making her move away from whoever it was, opening her eyes as she panted and sobbing in relief as she noticed it was y/n.

“Y/n.” Casey sobbed, wrapping her arms around her. She whined for a moment, but she didn’t care, she just wanted y/n to hold her.

“I’m here, Case. I’m here.” Y/n sighed softly as she held Casey, kissing the side of her face softly.

“You were right. I shouldn’t be here.” Casey cried as she buried her face on y/n’s neck.

“You’re okay, baby. We’re leaving, okay?” Y/n pulled away and placed her hands carefully on Casey’s face, pecking her lips softly. “I’m taking you home.” She whispered softly as she stared into green eyes.

Casey nodded softly as she nibbled on her lip. “Okay.” She frowned. “Wait. H-How did you get here so fast?”

Y/n smiled. “I was waiting in the car, I never left.”

Casey smiled sadly. “Stubborn.”

Y/n chuckled softly and stood up, helping Casey to stand up. She placed her hand on Casey’s back rubbing it up and down before she grabbed Casey’s briefcase and then walked out of the office with Casey.

********************

Once they were back home, nothing was said about what happened back in the office. Casey knew she had to talk about it sooner or later, but if she talked about it, she was afraid that she was going to accept the fact that she had been a victim. That she was a victim. She was not ready to have that conversation. Olivia had told Casey that she could go talk to someone professional, Elizabeth had also given her the number -and the suggestion- of someone, but she knew she’d be okay. She didn’t need that. She just wanted to rest and move on from it, she didn’t want to be recognized as a victim, yes, she had been attacked, but that was it. She was okay, charges were there because Elliot had pushed Casey to place them, but nothing else was going to be done about it. She would be okay, everything would be okay.

“Case?”

Casey looked up at y/n, offering a small smile. “Hi.”

Y/n smiled softly. “Hi.” She walked slowly to the bed and sat down at her side. “Are you okay?”

Casey nodded. “I am. I’m just…tired.”

“I need to change your bandage.” Y/n said softly, putting a strand of hair behind Casey’s ear. “You can go to sleep after.��

Casey took a deep breath and then exhaled. “Can you just change it in the morning? Please?”

Y/n smiled softly. “Okay. Did you take your pills?”

“I did, doctor.” Casey grinned.

Y/n chuckled softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know why you’re doing it.” Casey smiled softly. “Are you gonna come to bed with me?”

“I am. Was just cleaning up.” Y/n extended her arm to turn off the lamp, but Casey’s hand grabbed hers, making her turn to look at Csaey.

“Can you…can you leave it on?” Casey whispered softly.

“Of course.” Y/n smiled softly. “Anything else you need?”

“You.” Casey smiled.

Y/n moved to lay down and get under the covers, opening her arms for Casey to lay down with her. She knew Casey needed to sleep in a certain position, but she was too stubborn to actually listen to her, so she had decided to just give in and stop arguing with her, after all, she knew Casey only wanted to be held. She kissed her head softly and wrapped her arms around her carefully, closing her eyes. Y/n hated the fact that she couldn’t do more for Casey, she could definitely tell that there was something going on in her head, but there was nothing else she could do. She was not about to push Casey to say or do something that she didn’t want to do or say something she didn’t want to say. She knew how hard it was to talk about what had happened, and y/n only knew what Olivia had told her that happened, and that was it. They didn’t know the whole thing, after all, Casey didn’t remember anything, and Olivia had agreed with y/n that they wouldn’t push her to talk.

For the last few days, the painkillers had been helping Casey not only with her pain, but also to sleep better at night, but tonight, the stress of the day had caught up to her and the anxiety attack she had in her office had made her keep overthinking during the day. She thought maybe she’d be able to sleep at night, but her mind played her tricks and images from the attack appeared in her mind; the moment he got to the office and hit her with the flowers, every hit, every groan, every whine, she now remembered grabbing her bat, but he took it and hit her with it, he slammed her on her desk, she tried to stop him but then he slammed her head and that was it. That’s where the accident stopped, but that’s where her nightmare began.

Casey opened her eyes slowly, looking around as she tried to figure out where she was. She figured she was still in her office, but she was on the floor, and someone was on top of her, her shirt was open, and a hand was wrapped around her throat. “N-No…s-stop!”

“Shut up, bitch! This is what you get!” He laughed darkly, his other hand caressing roughly her side and getting to her pants, unbuttoning it.

“N-No.” Casey tried to scream but his hand tightened his grip on her throat, making her start choking. “No!”

“No!” Casey shot up from the bed and panted heavily, some of her hair sticking to her face as she sweat covered her forehead.

Y/n sat up in bed as soon as she heard Casey, her hands going to Casey’s back. “Casey? What’s wrong?”

Casey abruptly moved from y/n’s touch, fear could be seen in her eyes as she looked at y/n. “Stay away from me!”

Y/n’s eyes widened as she stared at Casey, standing up from bed and raising her hands. “Case, it’s me, y/n.” She slowly walked to Casey’s side as she tried to focus her eyes on y/n. “You’re safe, Casey. It’s only me.” She slowly sat beside Casey in bed and wrapped her arms carefully but tightly enough to try to stop Casey from shaking, one of her hands going to Casey’s head to hold her against her shoulder.

Casey trembled as she loudly sobbed, letting her body collapse on y/n’s arms. Y/n closed her eyes, letting Casey cry all she needed, her arms still wrapped around her. Her fear came true, she was hoping that Casey wouldn’t remember anything from the attack and that she wouldn’t have any nightmares about it, but she knew this had been a nightmare. Easily, ten minutes passed until she felt Casey relaxing in her arms, her sobs slowly fading away and her body slowly stopped trembling. Y/n opened her eyes but decided to stay right there, no words, no movements, just holding her tightly. Another two or three minutes passed until she finally felt Casey’s breathing slowing down, and her chest was not racing as bad as it had been. She was slowly coming back to her senses, and she was starting to feel y/n.

“Y/n?” Casey cried out, almost in a whisper.

“Yes, baby. It’s me.” Y/n kissed her head softly, slowly pulling away just enough to look at Casey. “It’s me, y/n.”

Casey looked into her eyes in horror, her mind finally figuring out what had happened. “I-I’m sorry.” She sobbed.

“Why are you sorry, baby?” Y/n asked softly, her hand running through Casey’s hair, and then going down to her cheek, wiping away her tears.

“I didn’t- I just-“ Casey sobbed. “I didn’t want you to know…that I…that I remembered.” She shook her head as her bottom lip trembled. “I wanted to move on. I wanted to be strong.”

“Oh, baby. Look at me.” Y/n’s finger went to Casey’s chin, making her look into her eyes. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk about it. I get it. This doesn’t make you any less strong, baby.”

Casey opened her mouth to say something, but she closed her eyes again as more tears left her eyes. Y/n placed her arm under Casey’s legs and the other on her back, carefully moving her to sit on her lap. Casey unconsciously helped her move her own body so she didn’t have a hard time and she wouldn’t whine in pain, burying her face on y/n’s neck as she got into place. She felt Casey wrapping her arms around her middle tightly, y/n kissed her head softly, her lips lingering there. Another few minutes passed until Casey felt like she ran out of tears, feeling exhausted, but she didn’t want to move, even if she felt pain in her middle, she just wanted y/n to hold her. She knew she had to talk to y/n, but she didn’t know if she was entirely ready, but if she didn’t do it, she was afraid that the more she kept it inside, the more nightmares she would have. Y/n felt Casey’s head moving, making her look down at Casey; her eyes were red and puffy just like her lips, she wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss her, but she knew it was not the moment.

“I’m here, my love.” Y/n smiled softly.

“I know.” Casey whispered softly.

“Do you want me to get you some water? Or do you want us to stay like this?”

“Stay.”

“Then we stay.” Y/n smiled softly, stroking her cheek. “You don’t have to say anything, you know? I’ll be here as long as you need me.”

“I want to talk.” Casey whispered softly.

“Okay…than I’m listening.”

Casey moved carefully to sit and lean over the pillows. The pillows had been positioned so she could sleep comfortably but in a sitting position, something Casey had hated. Her legs stayed in y/n’s lap, y/n only moving to face Casey.

“When I was at the office…I remembered.” Casey shook her head. “I didn’t…I thought I wouldn’t remember anything, I just wanted to go back to work to forget this even happened to me. But as soon as Branch left and closed the door…I was left alone and…it slowly just came back to me.” She sobbed. “I never told Olivia…but I…” she took a shaky breath. “I heard her asking a nurse…if the…if the rape kit had come back…because she had found me…with my shirt open and my p-pants unbuttoned.”

Y/n felt range run all over her body, closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to hold back tears. “Case…”

“It came back clean. He didn’t…” Casey nibbled on her lip nervously as she tried to hold back her tears again. “I guess he wanted to try.” She sighed. “I thought…maybe if I went back, if I worked on the case, then everything would be okay. I’d be okay. If I didn’t talk about it…it wouldn’t be real.” She sobbed softly as she looked at y/n. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Case.” Y/n shook her head as her hand went to Casey’s cheek, stroking it softly. “You went through a traumatic thing, and I don’t blame you for taking your time to process it. I told you I’d be here for you, no matter what. And I’m not going anywhere, baby.” She tilted her head and smiled softly. “I am so sorry I was not here.”

Casey shook her head. “I should’ve called you.”

“Casey, stop torturing yourself.” Y/n smiled softly. “You’re here, you’re safe. And I’m gonna make sure that it stays that way. Even if I’m a pain in the ass.”

Casey chuckled softly as she nodded. “I need to see someone professional.” She whispered softly. “I don’t want to have nightmares.”

Y/n nodded. “Then we’ll go to someone. And I’ll be by your side.” She smiled. “I take it that you’ll take the free days?”

Casey huffed a chuckle and nodded. “I will.”

“I will too.”

Casey frowned. “No, you don’t-“

“I want to.” Y/n smiled. “I want to be here with you, I’ll take care of you, and we’ll go through this together. Doesn’t matter how long it takes, we’re in this together.”

Casey smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you even more.” Y/n smiled as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

“Please, never leave.” Casey whispered against her lips.

“Never. You’re never getting rid of me.” Y/n grinned.

“You better mean that.” Casey grinned, kissing her lips again.

#casey novak x reader #casey novak #svu fic #law and order svu #svu

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