#My funny little ten year hiatus on fiction book series

[surfinthehighway]

Some rambling, but I actually only got back into fiction as an adult recently. Last year I followed along with a Frankenstein Weekly mailing list (the first fiction book I’ve read since high school), then took a break from fiction for half a year before impulsively borrowing the audiobook for Our Hideous Progeny, a spin on Frankenstein with women and dinosaurs. I ended up loving that and I’ve been engaging (not exclusively) with a lot of Frankenstein-adjacent media since.

WHAT’S FUNNY is that as much as Johannes Cabal resembles my beloved Victor Frankenstein, I actually found JCtN on an old Reddit thread for books with similar vibes to the Addams Family sitcom. The resemblance to Frankenstein (obsession, preoccupation with death, introversion yet devotion to loved ones, restoring life, basically medical fantasy, et cetera) was a happy surprise 

[an-american-whovian]

• The Story Thus Far:

This is the one that started it all fer me! The reason I bleed all things Doctor Who -- like my anus bleeds beer shits of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

My Series 2 review of NuWho (just rolls off the tongue).

• Goodbye, My Liveeer -- Goodbye, My Friend:

In all honesty, I don't know how it happened -- one day I came across a fan made Doctor Who video to James Blunt's 'Goodbye My Lover' on YouTube. More specifically, the episodes 'Army of Ghosts'/'Doomsday'.

It had that bit in which he asks, "How long are you going to stay with me?" To which she replies, "Forever." Then to see the whole conclusion with her getting sucked into a parallel universe/the stuff on Badwolf Bay all to that terrible song.

I was sold. (Mostly 'cause I was fresh off a break up, myself.)

• But I'm Getting Ahead of Myself:

As I watched all four minutes and twenty six seconds of that corny ass shit, I recalled Classic Who and asked myself, "Wasn't Doctor Who some big nosed dude with a long scarf and really bad special effects? Who's this hot bitch -- and the blonde!?"

Well, according to the nerds at Brainstorm Comics in Wicker Park, Chicago, it was this long running sci-fi series that had finally made a comeback after a long hiatus.

Then I remembered the TV Movie on Fox. That came and went like another one of their illfated shows, 'M.A.N.T.I.S.' (NO ONE ever remembers that one.) Then I remember as kid watching a different dude play the Doctor. This guy wore beige clothing and hung out with teens.

Total pedo' vibes.

Well, luckily fer me, those nerds at Brainstorm had a rental section and I proceeded to rent series two of NuWho -- 'cause i wanted to see how we got to that conclusion. (Then I proceeded to copy it onto VHS -- as was the fashion at the time.)

It was all downhill from there.

• Controversial Statement Up Ahead:

If a US network ever had the AUDACITY to do Who -- it would pro'ly look like this series (one could kinda say the same about series five, too). Handsome lead; hot companion. Easily to digest science fiction stories and culminating in a two part epic in which the hero fights off giant metallic salt shakers with plungers as they wage war against the British equivalent to the Borg. (Yea, I know -- Cybermen came first. I said it fer comparisons sake, ya nerd.)

Also, anyone remember that episode of 'Community' in which they do an American version of 'Inspector Spacetime'? They're TOTALLY supposed to be Tennant and Piper-esque. (The show would then go ahead and predict that the first female Doctor would go onto suck -- "but not because she's a woman".)

• Onto the Good Shit:

'The Christmas Invasion' is a fun festive romp -- that has the Doctor in it fer about ten minutes. Extra points fer 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' reference. It's, also, where I learned that out there they call baby oranges "satsumas". (Y'all are funny.)

'New Earth' brings back Cassandra from the series one story 'The End of the World' -- along with that giant head with dreads that lead into testicles known as The Face of Boe (love the enigmatic shit with him). The body switching stuff is fun; but how the Doctor saves the day is just plain lame. "Lemme dump all these cures into one giant concoction and bukkake this whole hospital!" *high fives all around!*

'School Reunion' brings back Sara Jane -- and till this day I use her "Everything has its time and everything ends" speech (almost to a fault). It's got Giles from 'Buffy' in it -- so that's dope. Be that as it may, I don't like how the kid takes credit fer blowing up the school at the end. Like, dude, eveyone's gonna think yer a prepubescent psycho.

'Girl in the Fireplace', The Cybermen two parter and 'The Impossible Planet'/The Satan Pit' are all time classics in my book. (Fun Fact: TO THIS DAY I refer to my basement as "The Satan Pit".)

• Controversial Statement Part Deux:

I don't hate 'Love & Monsters'. 😳 Like, I think Elton insinuating at the end that he skull fucks a slab of cement with his girlfriend's face is pretty fucked up and the Abzobaloff looks like it was designed by a child (oh, wait, it was) -- it's still a lot of fun and a different take on a Doctor Who story. (DW is ALWAYS at its best when it takes chances!)

Like, ELO is prominently featured in the episode. How can anyone hate that!?

• All Filler and No Thriller:

'Tooth & Claw' is just too boring to even talk about. I can't even remeber a characters name or which Queen was ruling at the time.

'Fear Her' HAS TO BE one of the worst episodes -- EVER. The less said about it the better.

• Let's Cut This Short -- Like the Doctor Gets Cut Off on Rose:

Series two isn't as great as series one; but it's not too far off. Yea, jokes are gonna be dated like bad CGI werewolves. Deal with it. Have you ever seen 'Warriors of the Deep'!?

It's all worth while fer a balls to the wall finale.

"You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?", asks a Cyberman.

"We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect."

"What is that?"

"YOU ARE BETTER AT DYIIIIIING.", adds the Dalek. *DROPS MIC!*

Finally, don't tell me you dont get all chocked up when Ten tells Rose, "I'm inside the TARDIS. There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close; and it takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a supernova.

I'm burning up a sun just to say good bye." 😭

ALL THE STARS AND FRESHLY ROTTEN TOMATOES.

• Epilogue; i.e. Controversial Statement No. 3:

Are Timelords low key pedos!? Like, the Doctor is over 900 years old at this point and Rose is, like, 19 or 20.

Talk about a midlife crisis, bruh.

[sincerelybluevase]

My top ten favourite fictional female characters

I was tagged by @swearronchanel​, thank you! These are in random order (also this was really hard). I’ve put it under a cut because it became very long haha.

1 Shelagh Turner from ‘Call the Midwife’

The bae to best all beas. She is cool, calm, collected, and professional, but also adorable and intelligent and kind. I saw the second season of CTM a few weeks before I turned 16, and let me tell you that Shelagh’s storyline hit me like a brick in the face. I’d never understood everybody’s romantic swooning over Twilight. In fact, I’d never cared about romance at all. All of this changed with Turnadette, and I realised it’s not romance I don’t like, it’s badly written romance. Shelagh offers a lot more than mere romance, of couse. I adore how she manages to navigate the rather strict gender roles of the 1late 950′s and early 1960′s yet always remains true to herself.

2 Matilda Wormwood from ‘Matilda’

I read this book when I was about seven years old, meaning that Matilda and I were very close in age (a large part of the book takes place when she is five years old). I think she was one of the first characters I could identify with. I mean, I’ve had a very happy childhood that was nothing like hers and, sadly, I also lack her awesome powers, but I could understand that she often felt misunderstood because she had unusual interests. Like her, I am a bookworm. I also like how incredibly courageous she is; she is absolutely determined to help Miss Honey and does so by devising a brilliant plan that she executes to perfection, all by herself. Basically, Matilda is Hermione Granger before Hermione even existed.

3 ‘I’ from ‘Rebecca’

The ‘I’ in ‘Rebecca’ is such a wonderful character. I mainly like her because she is so relatable; she is very shy and often feels stupid and awkward in situations that involve other people, even when other people don’t get that impression of her at all. She also has a huge imagination, which is what gets her into trouble more than once, but she has some good characteristics, too: she is extremely friendly and tries to make those around her happy. Ultimately, I find her to be quite compelling. 

4 Elphaba from ‘Wicked’

Elphaba is a smart bookworm with a lot of ideas about the world. She also isn’t afraid to stand by these ideas and her own morals, even if this makes her a social outcast and unloved; she simply has to do what she feels is right. She is, therefore, smart and courageous and loyal to herself (I’m starting to see a pattern here…) Also, in the musical at least, she is quite awkward and pretty funny at times, which is always interesting to read about.

5 Miss Honey from ‘Matilda’

As a child, I really identified with Matilda and often hoped for a teacher to come along who was just like Miss Honey. After a recent reread as an adult, I have come to appreciate her character even more. She is the only one in the book to really understand that Matilda is exceptional and does her best to help this little girl by giving her extra material to keep her incredible mind occupied. She also tries to reason with Matilda’s parents and even goes as far as meeting the abusive headmistress to try and improve things for Matilda (which, when you know her backstory, is actually very courageous). She also refuses to be broken by her past (even though she thinks of herself as cowardly and weak, there is enough evidence in the text to show us that she really isn’t). There are quite a lot of parallels between her and Cinderella; both had a past of abuse (similar abuse, even) but still stayed empathetic and compassionate. Also, both get saved in the end by someone else, though Miss Honey partly provides Matilda with the means to do so (and, ultimately, she gets to do some saving on her own+ she did her utmost best to save herself and it wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t accomplish that goal, unlike Cinderella who tried very little). So, in short, Miss Honey is intelligent, sensitive and very kind.

6 Hermione Granger from the ‘Harry Potter’-series

She fits right into the pattern of my other favourite female fictional characters, I’d say: she is smart, kind and courageous. She also has strong morals and isn’t afraid to stand by those. Then there’s the fact that she is incredibly talented witch, saves her friends countless of times, solves riddles that were meant to detain adults when she is just eleven, uses a time-turner without creating paradoxes just to be able to attend more lessons…

7 Anna from Downton Abbey

I know I said that Turnadette made me realise that I do really really like romance, but Anna and Bates from Downton Abbey sure helped soften me up. I love how Anna remains true to her feelings and is steadfast. She’s also kind and remains kind despite the nasty things she goes through and despite not always being surrounded by the kindest of people.

8 Joan Livesey from ‘The Crimson Field’

I watched this series during the hiatus of Call the Midwife (and because Tumblr said it was awesome). Got punched right in the feels! Another romantic couple that has to fight to be together (great romance!). Joan is just the best. She does what she has to do to get information about her fiance, plus she gives no shits about gender roles and gleefully rides a bigass motorbike (and that hair!). She’s also a great nurse. What’s there not to like?

9 Rachel Bailey from ‘Scott and Bailey’

Rachel has her flaws (a great many of them) but she has a good heart. She’s a bit unconventional in her methods, but she is also a great detective and a good friend. 

10 Vanessa Ives from ‘Penny Dreadful’

Vanessa is dark and mysterious and interesting (it doesn’t hurt that Eva Green plays her, I do confess). She has made mistakes in the past, but she does her best to atone for them. She’s brave, charismatic, and intelligent. Plenty to like about her!

I tag (if you guys want to do it) @kienova66, @alice1nwond3rland, @lovetheturners, @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant @turnt4turnadette!