#My answer would be the very same just with a few tweaks

[kaythefloppa]

Whenever I think about the topic of a fourth season of The Lion Guard (beyond the fact that there won't be one and that it was never planned), I don't often think about it as a continuation of where the show left off, but the main storyline (from Return of the Roar to Return to the Pride Lands) lasting for four seasons, (i.e. if 4 seasons were commissioned for the show from the beginning, instead of 3).

Here's how I'd imagine this hypothetical four-season version of TLG would go:

Season 1: Introduces The Lion Guard, their enemies, establishes and sets up ‘the norm’ for the series. Re-introduces characters from the movie.

Season 2: Introduces Scar and focuses on his revenge plot as well as Kion and the Guard gathering as many forces as they can to unite him. Ends with his defeat (essentiallly, the entire Scar arc lasts the whole season).

Season 3: Focuses on The Lion Guard following their battle with Scar. The conflict is how things have changed since the battle, and how it has affected the group. So there'd be some story in between the end of the final battle and the beginning of the journey. Would also set up Makucha as the main antagonist for the latter half of the series. The season finale ends with them leaving the Tree of Life to regain their strength with peace restored.

Season 4: Picks up at the Tree of Life and focuses on the Guard healing and defeating their new enemies. Ends with a one hour special involving their return in order to cap off everything in the show.

[mysaintkitten]

Little Secret | Neil Lewis x fem!reader

prompt: neil is your sisters boyfriend, but that doesn’t stop you from developing a slight crush on him (this is based off a suggestion that was sent to me !! thank you to whoever sent it !!) (NSFW, NO MINORS!)

WARNINGS: veeery slight age gap (unspecified ages but reader is implied to be younger, everyones legal), cheating, loss of virginity, unprotected sex (p in v), creampie

word count: 3.8k

neil and your sister had been dating for about 4 months now, still very much in its fresh-honeymoon stage. in those 4 months, you two had been around each other a few times but hadn’t really spoken to each other directly. you’d be in the same conversations, but that’s really all that would happen.

it wasn’t until somehow, the two of you were left alone in the living room of your house a few hours before your parents were planning to hold a family gathering, neil being your sisters plus one. you’re sitting on one side of the couch and he sits on the other, you’re physically as far apart as you can within the couches armrests. your sister had temporarily left due to a minor emergency situation, she had realized that she had no solo cups or paper plates for the family gathering tonight, and your parents were at the liquor store buying alcohol for the gathering.

for a while, you just sat in silence. if you were being honest, you thought neil was pretty cute, but you felt so guilty about it. so you just tried your best to avoid him. he was just a few years older, nothing significant that would make people look twice, but the more dominating factor was that he was with your sister. whenever you felt yourself staring at him, or tweaking your appearance when he’d look away, you’d remind yourself: he’s with your sister.

as the two of you sat in silence, he eventually breaks it by blowing a weak raspberry through his lips and stirring up a conversation,

“sooo …” he starts, eyes scanning around the room before bringing them to you, “see any interesting movies lately?” he asks, you refrain from chuckling. of course he’s asking about movies. but, it’s his main interest and he’s trying to be nice, so you engage.

“uh, yeah, actually!” you respond, looking down at your hands in your lap was you fiddled with your thumbs, “watched fantastic planet, i thought it was really cool.”

“wow, really?” he responds, his words almost sound sarcastic, but when you look up at him he has a partially impressed expression on his face. you blush slightly, temporarily basking in the fact that you gave him an answer he approved of. your sister wasn’t as in to movies as either of you were, which was a bit of a tolling factor on his relationship with her.

“i like fantastic planet too, you seen any other french films? like la haine?” he questions, his body language becoming more relaxed,

you perk up slightly, “yeah! i loved la haine!” you beamed, turning your body inwards to face him better, you did really enjoy cinema but you didn’t have anyone to talk about it with.

he smiles at you warmly and then scans you up and down, before he can say anything you hear the front door unlock and your sister comes in, “oh, my god! you won’t believe what i saw!” she exclaims from the front door. his gaze stays on you for a few more moments before he breaks it to go help your sister out with the bags. you watch him as he leaves. you feel an uncontrollable smile spread across your lips and you scurrying up to your room, not wanting to face your sister and be reminded of the fact that these feelings are guaranteed to lead to nothing.

once upstairs, you start getting ready. you shower and shave, change into a nicer outfit, a cute little dress. overall modest, but showed enough to hopefully peak neil’s intrest, and do your hair and makeup.

you’re patient, making sure you look as nice as possible, nearly missing the beginning of the get together to finish getting ready.

as you’re putting your earrings in, you’re subconsciously thinking about what neil would like. does he like slutty? does he like modest? you don’t want to make it obvious, but you want him to like what he sees.

after a few drinks, it sets in that the gathering is a bit of a let down. neil didn’t look at you once. it was almost like he was avoiding you. the conversations were boring, and you were tired of asking the same dull questions about your life and your future. you decided it was best for you to just sneak back up to your room. your parents and sister were enjoying the company, you didn’t want to kill their vibe.

once in your room, you strip yourself of your dress and slip into a loose tee and some pyjama shorts, proceeding to climb back into bed and scroll on your phone.

suddenly, your bedroom door swings open, and there neil is.

you both stare at each other, “oh, sorry, i thought this was the bathroom.” he said, blatantly lying, he’s been to your house numerous times, he knew exactly where the bathroom was. but how’d he know which room was yours? had he been doing trial and error without you knowing?

you break eye contact and glance around your room trying to figure out what words to say, feeling a blush creep across your cheeks, you notice in your peripheral that he’s walking into your room now, beginning to shut the door behind him,

“uh, well ..” you start, “it isn’t, i can take you to the actual bathroom if you’d like ..” you joke lightly, attempting to calm your own nerves, he smiles at you,

“that’s alright, i don’t really have to go, anyway.” he responds, looking at all the small trinkets you have scattered throughout your room, “why’d you leave?”

oh, so he did notice you.

“i guess it just wasn’t really my vibe .. things didn’t go exactly as planned i suppose.” laughing weakly, again, just trying to break the tension. you’re not even sure if there’s actual tension or if it’s just your nerves, either way, you’re trying to calm yourself down.

“what did you have planned?” he asks, he’s standing directly beside your bed at this point, picking up and toying with little things he’s found on your nightstand.

“uhh ..” you murmur, trying to conjure up a believable lie. you can’t just say, “oh, i tried my best to look hot so you’d look at me, but you didn’t, so i went upstairs.” so you settle with, “i just wasn’t expecting every conversation to revolve around my future, you know? i mean maybe that’s excepted of older family members, they just want what’s best-“ you ramble, and you realize you’re rambling way too far into your sentence.

“sorry” you giggle, he grins at you and chuckles softly, “in summary, the conversations were tedious. i’d rather just be in my room.”

he sighs, “yeah, i get that”, he places the small objects back on your nightstand and adjusts them to how they were before he picked them up. then, to your surprise, he sits on the edge of your bed, “your sisters having a nice time talking with the other girls, i felt a bit out of place so i told them i was heading up to the bathroom, they didn’t really notice though.” he adds, his comment about your sister brought you back down to earth. oh, yeah, my sister, your girlfriend.

you shift away from him slightly, feeling yourself becoming antsy. he had never been this close to you before, he had never been in such a personal space with you before, neither of you knew each other like that, yet here you were.

“oh .. haha ..” you mutter, your eyes are actively avoiding him, you’ve convinced yourself that as long as you don’t look at him he won’t realize how nervous you are. as if he read your mind, you hear him say, “wait, look at me.”

you gulp slightly and shift your head and your gaze towards him, making direct eye contact with him. his eyes drift down to your lips and he brings his thumb forward, gently swiping it against the edge of your bottom lip.

you don’t breathe, his eyes on you and his thumb on your lip is a bit much for your psyche to handle, your eyes shift away, keeping your head in place for him.

he notices your eyes shifting and he chuckles, “what? am i that hideous?”

your eyes widen slightly while looking back at him “no, no no! it’s not that!” you explain frantically, “it’s uh … kinda ..” you start, your voice trailing off as you realize what you were just about to admit to him. he doesn’t let you stop though, he continues to pry.

“kinda … what?” he asks, raising his brows, “kinda .. the opposite.” you choke out, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment, you definitely can’t look at him at this point.

you shift away from him more, tucking your knees up to your chest, the silence is eating away at you.

“look, i’m sorry, i think you should go, i shouldn’t have-“ you blab, desperately trying to dig yourself out of this hole you’ve created.

“(y/n), (y/n), breathe, it’s alright.” he coos, placing his hand on your shoulder in attempt to calm you down, “no shame in a little attraction, we’re only human, after all.” he adds, rubbing your arm gently.

“but you’re taken, neil ..” you whisper, “by my sister, at that!”

he doesn’t really respond to that, he returns to his original point, “we feel how we feel. you can’t control that.”, as he speaks he brings himself closer to you, his torso is mere inches away from your tucked-up legs.

“you know ..” he says, staring down at your bed while tracing small patters on your comforter with his finger, “actually i don’t think i should say ..” he laughs weakly. your curiosity peaks. “no, go on, i had to say what i was thinking, it’s your turn.” you coax, relaxing your body language a bit.

he sighs, “well .. you aren’t too bad yourself, not bad at all actually ..” he looks back up at you, shifting his gaze between your eyes and your lips. your hearts pounding, you’re worried he might be able to hear it, “oh, stop .. you’re just saying that ..” you mumble, nudging him playfully.

“i’m not!” he laughs, “really, i think you’re very attractive .. you probably get that all the time though.”

you scoff and cross your arms in front of your body, “definitely not ..”

his brows stitch together in disbelief, “what? you’re telling me you don’t have guys trailing after you constantly?”, you shake your head no. he huffs and scoots closer, directly beside you now.

you chat for a while, almost completely forgetting about the gathering and the fact that your sister, his girlfriend, is downstairs, but neither of you care at this point. you begin to discuss your shared interest, movies.

he brings up trainspotting, and you nearly lose it, unleashing all of your retained trainspotting-knowledge onto him.

he can tell how into it you are, he watches you attentively as you ramble, making sure to nod every now and then so you know he’s listening and following along.

“and you know, for the toilet scene, they actually used chocolate an-“ you’re cut of by his lips on yours, you immediately forget whatever trainspotting trivia you were about to say to him, which knowing his love for film, he probably already knew all of the facts you told him. but he sat and listened anyway.

he pulls away, and he smirks slightly at the surprised expression on your face.

“neil ..” is all you can manage to mutter out before his lips are back on yours again, kissing you a bit more deeper, testing his limits. he pulls back again for a moment, “is this alright?” he hums, his lips nearly grazing yours. “my sister ..” you whine, he just chuckles and kisses you again. at this point, you’ve fully pushed your morals aside.

his kisses start to get deeper and his tongue starts to explore your mouth, you moan at the new sensation, you hadn’t been intimate with anyone before and things were moving rather quickly.

his lips move over to your cheek, down to your jawline and then to your neck where he suckles on the skin softly while creeping his hand between your legs.

you grab his wrist and halt his actions, “neil, i’ve never done this before ..” you confess,

he groans into your neck, his hot breath sending chills throughout your body, “i’ll be gentle, sweetheart ..” he mumbles, licking a flat stripe onto your neck before continuing to place his wet kisses on the skin. he wouldn’t admit it out loud, but the thought of stripping you of your innocence made him harder.

you’re undeniably wet, your mind is racing, neil’s mouth, his hands, his cock, your sister, your family downstairs, you can’t focus on one distinct thing until you feel neil’s fingers slip into your panties.

you gasp quietly, feeling his skilled fingers toy with your pussy, “no one’s touched here before?” he asked, pulling his head out from your neck to look down at his hand in your pants, using his free hand to palm his aching bulge, “n-no .. just me ..” you whimper as he starts to rub small circles onto your clit, he smirks before whispering “ever think about me when you touch yourself?”. you nod, biting your lip, screwing your eyes shut to avoid looking at him.

he chuckles lowly, “dirty little thing .. lemme get these off”, he takes his fingers off your clit and hooks them into your waistband, you whimper in disapproval at the loss of contact. as you lift your hips to aid him in the removal, you lower them back down and spread your legs, bending them slightly.

he falls silent and your eyes open back up, you see him crawling to get between your legs, your holes are on a perfect display for him, you’ve never been so exposed in front of anyone before, but you’ve also never felt so aroused.

as his eyes scan you wet pussy, he brings his fingers back up, sliding his middle finger up and down your folds, “touch yourself for me, baby, i wanna see.” he purrs, teasing your opening with his finger. you whine, placing your hand between your legs and rubbing your clit timidly, a bit embarrassed to be doing it right in front of him. as you start to touch yourself, he begins to fuck you with his finger, watching as you clench desperately around his lone digit.

he’s absolutely infatuated with you, as you stare down at him between your legs he looks almost hypnotized.

“wish you had told me sooner .. would’ve touched you ages ago ..” he groans, adding another finger in, you whine slightly, stopping the movements on your clit.

neil shoves his fingers fully in, keeping them knuckle deep inside of you, “did i say you could stop?” he breathed, gently running the tips of his fingers along your leg.

you resume your movements, and he speeds up his while smirking “good girl.” he praises, he shifts onto his knees while keeping his fingers inside you, he brings his hand up to your face and cups your cheek.

he runs his thumb along your cheek sweetly before bringing his thumb to your lips, brushing against the skin, “open.” neil nearly whispers, you comply, sucking his thumb into your mouth.

you bat your eyelashes at him and suck his thumb in the most seductive way you can, despite having no experience, he likes what he sees. “jesus, (y/n) ..” he mutters, twisting his fingers inside you while trusting them in a bit harsher. “shit, neil!” you moan around his thumb, “you want more than my fingers, sweetheart?”, you whimper and nod, “hm? use your words, baby.” he hums.

you whine, “y-yes, i want more than your fing-ers ..”

“what do you want to fill you up instead?” he pries while taking his thumb out of your mouth and bringing that hand down to palm himself, smirking like the smug little fuck he is, you whimper louder, shifting your hips in front of him.

“neil ..” you huff, he just chuckles “come on, tell me what you want in that little pussy.”

you can barely manage to get the words out, embarrassment and arousal battling within your brain, but thanks to neil’s sweet little touches and words- arousal wins.

“y-our cock ..” you whisper, turning your head to the side. he groans quietly, “my, what, sweetheart? speak up.”

“your cock, neil!” you mewl, your desperation flooding all your other senses. he chuckles, “good girl, was that so bad?” he jokes before taking his fingers out of you, leaving you feeling empty, as he undoes his pants and hastily tugs them down. his hard cock springs out, you’re a bit intimidated by his size. he’s not huge, but he’s definitely big, and you’ve never had sex before, so your nerves were definitely starting to act up.

he scoots himself forward and lines himself up between your legs, rubbing your slick up and down with the head of his dick.

“aw, you nervous?” he teases, you don’t respond, you just whine, “you’ll take it all, like a good girl, huh?” he coos, sliding himself inside you slowly. “what about protection, neil?” you mewl, he laughs, “what, you think your sisters dirty, or something? i’m clean, darling.”

god, he’s disgusting. before you can respond, you gasp loudly at the stretch and slight burning sensation, “oh my ..” you huff, forgetting about whatever you were just bickering about. he hasn’t even bottomed out yet. he pauses for a moment, still only halfway inside you, to lean his body forward and place his hand beside your head, placing small kisses on your lips and cheek.

“doing so good, just a little more ..” he moans, using his free hand to rub your thigh soothingly.

finally, he bottoms out, you look down between your legs and then back up at him. he’s blushing himself, and he has a stupid little grin on his face. “feels nice ..” he groans before sliding himself out a bit, quickly thrusting back in. you moan at the mixture of pleasure and pain, feeling so incredibly full by neil’s cock. he speeds up more, making your moans louder and your body twitch beneath him. “god fu-ck, neil!” you nearly shout, he brings his hand up from beside your head and covers your mouth, “i know it feels good, sweetheart, but you gotta be quiet, okay? can’t let everyone downstairs know you’re getting pounded up here.” he taunts, knowing exactly how his thrusts are effecting you.

“mhmm!” you whine from underneath his hand, he moans and his shoulders go slack, “so fucking tight ..”

you grip the wrist of the hand that’s over your mouth, grunting and whining into his palm, while exhaling harshly through your nose.

he takes his hand off your mouth and moves it to your neck, gripping the sides gently. you stitch your brows together and watch him fuck into you through half-lidded eyes. “how does this feel, baby?” he purrs, dragging his nails along your thigh with his free hand.

you moan, not loudly, but loud enough for him to hear.

“good .. ‘s so good ..” you whimper, finding it hard to speak due to the circumstances.

“think you can come on my cock for me, hm?” he grunts, bringing his lips to yours before kissing you sloppily. you not as best you can and moan against his lips, neil takes his hand off your neck and brings it between your legs and promptly rubbing your clit, making you moan even louder again this lips.

“neil! shit!” you whine, clenching around him involuntarily. he moans weakly, placing his forehead against yours.

“‘m gonna come .. god, fuck!” he groans, pumping into you harder while continuing to rub your clit, you’re close too- but so close that you really can’t verbalized it. you just hope he knows, and he does. with a few breathy moans, he’s coming inside you. he pauses for a few moments to pull his body back up, but his thrusts don’t slow down, he’s maintaining his rough pace while rubbing on your clit, eager to get you to come for him.

“drench my cock, sweetheart, show me how good it feels.” he praises, looking down at himself fucking you.

you don’t need much more than that, you’re coming around his cock and you’re coming hard. harder than you ever have. maybe because prior all your orgasms had been from your own hands, but neil’s hands and words and cock gave you an orgasm that was unlike anything you had felt before. your mind goes blank and your body tenses up, small huffs and ‘fuck’s falling from your mouth as your orgasm crashes through you.

“there you go .. that’s it .. all over me baby ..” he coos, watching in fascination as you come undone on his cock.

once you’ve ridden your orgasm out, he pulls his softening cock out, making you wince, “sorry, i’m sorry ..” he mumbles, running his fingers along your thigh calmingly. “god, look at that ..” he groans, mostly to himself, as he spreads your lips apart and watches as the come behind to spill out of you. he gets up off the bed and begins to button up his pants, adjusting his appearance in the mirror before heading to the door.

“i’ll get you a wet rag and get you cleaned up, after that i’ve gotta go back downstairs.” he says, his hand already on the doorknob, “wait!” you respond, he turns his body to face you fully.

“what was that? what’s this?” you ask, leaving the question rather vague for a reason, “i mean .. i would like to keep this going .. i won’t tell if you won’t ..” he whispers slightly, as if nows the time he needed to be quiet. you would like to see him more often, you wanna feel how you felt more often. so you nod, “okay, i won’t either.” you whisper back.

he smiles, “sounds good. can you swing by my video store sometime this week? we could chat, watch a few films ..” he bubbled, seemingly giddy at the idea of spending time with you. “yeah, definitely!” you grin back as he heads out the door to grab the wet rag.

the post-nut clarity begins to sink in. you just slept with your sisters boyfriend. how are you ever going to face her again? how awful of a person can you be to do something like this? what’s done is done, you tell yourself, you’ve already been an awful sister. so fuck it. let’s keep this going.

——

it’s 3 am heeeeyyyy

[mistressroxielove]

Hey everyone~ I got some more stuff for ya~

Long story short, I've discovered the new Fairly Oddparents reboot, absolutely loved it and was inspired to make this AU idea for the show! With a slight reimagine/redesign of the characters as well.

Here's some more info about my AU:

Fairly Odd Parents AU/Rewrite

Au Name: FairlyOdd Brother

Summary:

Perri (previously known as Poof) recently graduated from Fairy Godparents School and is eager to start granting Wishes for his very own godchild! Only problem is that with his lack of experience Jorgen is weary of giving him an assignment and keeps finding excuses/reasons to not give him a godkid. Realizing it might be a 1,000 years before they give him a chance to be a Fairy Godparent, Perri decides he needs to be a little bold and perhaps, bend Da Rules, to get his foot in the door so to speak. And his answer comes to him from a new neighbor in his human home, a family with a sweet shy 10 year old girl who is absolutely miserable. Perhaps Perri might be able to offer this girl a little comfort and fun as her new Fairy Godbrother!?

(Basically the same premise of the show, except Perri’s first godchild is Hazel, and through a technicality in the rule book, becomes her god brother instead of her godparent.)

ALSO please note this AU is more of a slight reimagine of the original show, meaning I did tweaked / changed some of the characters personality to match the new story I made for them. Nothing majorly different, but again just a heads up before you read on. Hope you like it~

Name: Devin “Dev” Dimmadome 

Age: 9/almost 10

Sex: Male

Physical Description: 

Is basically the same as in the show, though there are a few key differences. 

-Despite having slicked back hair he always has a single strand that no matter what always sticks out, he hates it and is always trying to move it back into place but to no avail. In reality without the hair product he has natural curly hair like his father, though his curls are a little more difficult to comb and manage than his father, something that he doesn’t like about himself

-Has freckles! But always wears makeup to cover them as according to Dale’s research are ’less desirable’ and would statistically do better with them covered up

-Also has heterochromia, one blue and one green eye, but always wears either a blue or green contacts to hide his ‘flaw’, again being told to do so by his father

- Though he is always required to wear a branded white hoodie, Dale actually lets him wear whatever shirt he wants underneath, just with the promise Dev never takes his sweater off in public. Dev usually wears all sorts of geeky and nerdy shirts, mostly love meridian and Crimson Chin related stuff, it's the closes thing he’s allowed to wear ‘freely’ without requiring his father’s approval. Again this ‘freedom’ is kinda pointless since he still has to wear the hoodie, but he still appreciates it.   

-As you can see in the photo above I showed what he looks typically on the left, and on the right is basically what Dev would dress like if he had no rules or restrictions.

Personality: 

It's basically exactly the same as in the show, I really like Dev both in a story sense and a comedic sense so nothing to really change. The only slight difference is that Dev in this version clearly gets a crush on Hazel in this version. I think the show is ‘hinting’ of them possibly being a couple later on, but in my version I wanted to make it a little more clear that he has a subconscious crush on her. Basically think Anya and Damion from Spy x Family if you want a good example. He likes her, but being a 10 year old boy with severe daddy issues has no idea how to handle this and ends up being kinda mean to his regret. 

Other fun facts:

-I won’t get into it now, but his relationship with his father is a bit different, as I have a unique take on Dale and who he is as a person. I’ll probably draw him next but for now just know Dale isn’t an evil heartless father and there’s more to him than it seems, and thus the relationship between Dale and Dev is a little more complex.

-And yes though it isn’t important yet, he does end up getting Cosmo and Wanda as his fairy godparents instead of Hazel as the AU would suggest.

- In this version Peri is also not a big fan of Dev. As he obviously doesn’t like how he’s mean to her at first, but as they become friends and Peri soon realizes that Dev has a crush on Hazel this leaves Peri horrified at the thought. And of course being a proper big brother is completely against and despises the idea of Dev and Hazel ever ending up together. He’s not too over the top about his dislike, but definitely would be sitting in to conor with his arms crossed, while trying to subtly tell Hazel she could do soooooooo much better than him.   

I hope you guys like this, I'm personally really happy with how this design turned out, especially his 'real Dev' design on the right. But I would love to hear your guys thoughts and opinions about my designs. Do you like them, hate them? Feel free to tell me below.

Also tomorrow I'll post a version of this photo with a transparent BG and maybe upclose shots of the design as well, just so you can see the design easier without the BG

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[ihavethedreamies]

Within an Inch of Your Life | Shownu [NSFW]

Son Hyunwoo (Shownu - MONSTA X)

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~4.6k

Pairing: Shownu x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Romance, Some Angst, Very Little Plot, Very Dirty

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Oral (M! Receiving), Hickeys, Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Fingering, Pet Names (Pumpkin, Princess, Sweet Girl, etc.), Very Dirty Talk, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom, reader is on the pill in this story)

Author's Note: This is my first fic, holy cow.

EDIT (7/22/24): I fixed this. Since it was my first fic, it wasn't up to my current standards. I mostly just Beta-ed it and fixed some grammar/spelling, maybe tweaked some sentences.

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

You stared at the ceramic cup on your bathroom vanity, the cheap blue toothbrush glaring back at you. It sat in there amongst your own teeth cleaning products, mocking you. The bright color stark against the black and white of everything else in the bathroom, even your own toothbrush. Reaching out you placed your own that you had just finished using in the cup and grabbed the blue one. Staring down at it, you weren't sure how to feel. It had been a few weeks since it’d been used. And it never would again. Blinking, then sighing, you left the bathroom, and stopped next to the trash can outside the door near the kitchen. Your foot rested on the paddle to open the lid, you inhaled, then pressed down as you exhaled. Your hand holding the toothbrush lingered over the gaping bin. Swallowing a lump in your throat you didn't expect to be there, you gripped the brush tighter. Emotion whelmed in you, but you couldn't pinpoint what kind. Were you angry? Guilty? Sad? Fuck it. You harshly threw the brush in the can and let the lid slam closed as your foot left the peddle.

"What's with the aggression?" Yuna called to you from the other side of the apartment where she was on your couch. She was rubbing sleep from her eyes as she sat up from her sleeping perch.

"Don't worry about it." You were still staring at the trash can, now closed. You heard her bare feet pad on the hardwood floor as she came up to you. She blew her nose into a napkin she grabbed from the counter behind the can, and you stepped out of the way to let her throw away the used paper.

"Oh." Realization hit her. She saw the toothbrush, which was the only thing in there. You moved away and into the kitchen to get your coffee ready as she took a place on a stool at the counter.

"What even happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you two break up?" she asked and you exhaled. Grabbing a coffee mug, you put the cup on the perch of your coffee maker and pressed the largest button. You didn't answer.

"Was he bad in bed or something?"

"No."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"No."

"Controlling? Possessive?"

"No. Not really."

"Then why? You don't seem all that torn up about it."

"It’s a bit of a relief…"

"A relief? Why?"

"I…I was pity-dating him."

"WHAT!?"

"Calm down. He had been in love with me for years, and I felt bad for turning him down so much…Also, I was, frustrated without Younghoon being here…"

"So, you used him? That's harsh."

"Look, he wouldn't leave me alone, kept asking me out, getting me things. Might as well make it easier and say yes…"

"So, why did you break it off?"

"I didn't."

"He broke up with you?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I told him."

"Told him what?"

"That I was pity-dating him…"

"Fuck. That must have been rough."

"Yeah." You stared down as the swirling liquid in your cup, having stopped stirring the cappuccino mix in.

"I felt so guilty I had to come clean." You rested back against the counter crossing your arms, somewhat hugging yourself.

"Why? Why not just break up with him? You had to tell him?"

"Yes."

"What made you do that?"

"Because…" Your words got caught in your throat, the realization hitting you.

"B-because. I can't lie to those I love." Your voice cracked, causing her face to soften.

"You fell in love with him."

"Y-yeah."

"Then why not stay in the relationship?"

"I don't want a real relationship with him built on a lie. I had to come clean." You stood up straight, ignoring your drink and going to sit on your bed. You buried your face in your hands, your throat caught as you swallowed, your eyes burned.

"Oh, girlie." Yuna followed you, sitting on your bed next to you, and pulled you into a hug.

"I'm such a fucking horrible person." You sobbed, and she rubbed your back.

"I love him. I do. I was in denial. It hit me so suddenly and so hard, I think I must have felt that way longer than I realized. God, forgive me." you cried as she held you. Her phone went off as your sobs subsisted and she went to answer it.

"Shit. I have to get to class. I'll message you later." She kissed your forehead and gathered her stuff, leaving your apartment. Leaving your cooling drink on the kitchen counter, you curled back up in bed and fell asleep.

~*~*~

"(Y/N)!" Yuna slammed her palm on the door, ringing the bell a few times. She knew you were home. She could see your bag and keys on the table through the window. You hadn't answered her calls or texts for three days and wouldn't answer the door either.

"Yuna?" A man's voice caught her attention and she turned to see Hyunwoo coming up the stairs to get to the second-floor apartment.

"Hyunwoo! What are you doing here?" She quieted her voice, not sure how you might react if you heard. She knew your recent lack of actions was due to the breakup, and your revelation of feelings for the man.

"I was going to get my stuff and leave my key." His voice was noticeably flat, and the woman couldn't read his expression.

"You have a key!" Your friend lunged forward, snagging the set of keys from his hands. She shoved the metal into the lock and opened the door.

"(Y/N)!" she shouted, storming in.

~*~*~

You buried deeper into your pillows and sheets as Yuna banged on your door. You didn't want to see anyone, not even her. You felt you didn't deserve her comfort. You were a shitty person who did a shitty thing. You flinched when you heard a key in the lock, wondering who the hell was there. Yuna didn't have a key, and only your uncle did as the landlord. You had given the second key to your ex…to Hyunwoo.

"(Y/N)!" The other woman's harsh shout broke the silence you had been dwelling in. You hoped your uncle was there too, who else would have let her in? You are jarred to attention as your friend yanked your comforter off of you and the bed.

"What?" you snapped, and she climbed on the bed, flipping you over to force you to sit up.

"You bitch! You left me on read!" She put you in a playful headlock and ruffled your unkempt hair. You had showered, but a hairbrush? Who is she? You shoved Yuna off, and she got off the bed, stomping away. When she came back you heard another set of footsteps along with hers, too heavy to be even be your uncle.

"The only way you are going to get over this pity party you threw yourself is by telling the truth!" Yuna snapped, dragging your now ex-boyfriend into view past the half wall that separated your sleeping area from the living room. He stood there, staring at you. You wouldn't meet his gaze. Yuna moved into the kitchen, looking in the fridge and hastily writing stuff on your grocery list pad.

"I am going to go buy you food, you two better talk!" She pointed at you sternly, at him, and then left. You were left in silence with him.

"W-why are you here?" Your voice was scratchy, mouth dry.

"Came to get my stuff." He nodded toward the dresser drawer where his stuff still was.

"Ah." You licked your chapped lips. You hadn't drunk or eaten much in the last three days. He could tell, he knew you too well. He left your direct line of sight and went to retrieve a bottle of water from your fridge. Coming back, he jutted it into your face. You took it, not meeting his eyes. Your small sips turned into big gulps, the cool liquid a sweet relief.

"What was Yuna talking about? You telling me the truth?" Luckily, you had swallowed before he asked so you didn't choke. Closing the bottle, you threw it further up your bed. You heaved your legs up onto the bed, your knees touching your chest. You chewed on your thumbnail, not knowing how to start.

"You wanna tell me why you broke my heart?" His tone was harsh, a tinge of sadness laced through it. Your breath caught, the stinging in your eyes came back.

"It would have hurt less if you just broke up with me. But telling me you only dated me out of pity? I love you; I have for years-"

"I had to tell you."

"Why?"

"I couldn't keep lying."

"Why not? You had been doing it for nearly seven months." His voice was sharp with anger.

"I-I can’t…" You swallowed a lump, fighting your quivering lip, "I can’t lie to someone I love."

You weren’t sure what his reaction was, you didn't look up at him.

"What?"

"I couldn't keep lying to you. I love you-" You didn't even get the chance to work up the courage to look at him. His hands went quickly to your jaw, hauling you close, up and out of bed. His lips found yours and the kiss was different from any before. You could feel how strong his emotions were. He was rough, domineering, barely letting you breathe. His tongue wrapped around yours, sucking you in. He was practically bent over you, being nearly a foot taller, your neck tipping back far to make up for the rest of the distance. You whined, your hands gripping his shirt from under his jacket. Hyunwoo swallowed you and every little noise you made. As he pulled away, he bit your bottom lip, the tang of blood hitting your tongue. He stepped back abruptly, running his hand through his hair.

"Fuck. Don't play with me." He shook his head, and you stumbled to sit back on your bed.

"I'm not. I didn't…I only realized a few days ago how I felt…"

"What am I supposed to with this, huh?" He paced a bit, roughing his hair up.

"Do what you want. Whatever you decide…" You drifted off, not sure what you wanted him to do. You wanted him to kiss you again. But you felt you deserved him leaving and never talking to you again. You felt he should break your heart, like you did his.

"Part of me wants to walk out of here and never think about you again." He finally got out and the words pierced you, a tear rolling down your cheek.

"Another part of me wants to give you another chance…" You closed your eyes, willing the other tears back.

"But there's something else I really, really want to do." You heard him get closer but refused to look at him. You gasped as his hands dug into the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling your head back, making you look up at him.

"W-what?" His lips were so close to yours and while you weren’t sure what he wanted to do, you wanted it too.

"Please, whatever you want." you whispered, but his lips didn't meet yours. His tongue doesn't taste yours. His mouth instead went to your ear…

"I'm going to fuck you within an inch of your life." You gasped at his words, then found yourself briefly in the air as he threw you back on the bed. Hyunwoo tore his jacket off and finally brought his lips back to yours. A strong thigh jammed between your legs, rubbing against your core, covered only by your thin shorts. His large hand ran down your thigh, hitching it up to his and he grinded his growing hard on into you.

"Fuck." You whimpered as he pulled away from the kiss, a trail of saliva connecting your lips. He stared at you intensely till he dipped back down, latching onto the weak point of your neck, right under your jaw, almost your throat. He sucked hard then bit the flesh, making you shiver. You laid there and let him do whatever. The man left scathing kisses, sucking bruises onto your skin, everywhere: your neck, shoulders -once your shirt was off- your chest, breasts, ribs, stomach. He avoided anything covered by your tiny shorts, giving you more marks on your inner thighs. Your skin was on fire, and you didn't think you cum with just that stimulation, but you were close.

Hyunwoo sat back on his knees, pulling his t-shirt over his head and never before had you been so enthralled. Your type was normally guys with a dancer's body, and pretty, nothing like him. He was devastatingly handsome and while you normally wouldn't care for the taught pecs, ridged abs and sharp v-line of his hips…He truly did look like sex incarnate.

You wanted to sit up, reach for his belt, pull his pants down and let him fuck your throat. But he was in control, entirely. You weren't exactly ever a dominant lover, not really even a switch, but this time it was wholly up to him what happened. Your mouth watered at the sight for the first time, your romantic feelings fueled your sexual desire. He undid his belt and removed his jeans, his hard cock tenting his boxer briefs. Was he always that big?

"Something wrong, pumpkin?" You could hear the smirk in his voice. Due to your previous feelings, or lack-there-of, you never really gave him a good look. He was just your brother's stupid friend. You were getting a really good look in.

"Y-you, uh…" Your mouth watered.

"Wanna taste?" He gripped himself over the fabric and you nodded quickly. He huffed in amusement. Despite the fact you loved a dick in your mouth, you had never done it with him. Didn't let yourself, lest you get hooked. He motioned with his head for you to come closer and you crawled across the bed to where he stood at the foot of it. The bed was the perfect height to allow your face to be perfectly level with his cock. You let out a whimper and he titled his head, watching in amusement. With shaking hands, you reached for the waistband of his boxers and carefully pulled them off. Your mouth watered as he was revealed to you.

"Fuck." You exhaled, watching his dick bob in the air as he stepped out of his final garment. Wiggling your jaw back and forth, you thanked the stars that so many strep-throat tests as a kid killed your gag reflex. You couldn't believe that he had been inside of you before. It made you wonder if your stomach bulged from his girth.

"You just gonna stare?" He stepped closer and you scooched the little bit closer you needed to. Wrapping your lips around the head of his cock, Hyunwoo exhaled in relief, and you groaned at his taste. You rolled your tongue around him like a popsicle, making him tip his head back with a sigh. Without going much further than the tip, you sucked hard and pulled back. This made him bury his hands in your hair to prevent you from going anywhere.

"What-?" He tilted your head to look up at his face.

"Fuck me. My mouth." You cleared your throat, and he blinked in shock before a devious smirk broke out on his handsome face.

"Really? You sure?"

"Please, please-" You opened your mouth as wide as you could, and he slowly thrusted his dick into your mouth. The deeper he went the more saliva built up in your mouth, starting to drip. The head reached the back of your throat and he moved to pull back his hips, but you stopped him. Your hands flew to his thighs, pulling him closer.

"Fucking hell, (Y/N)." His voice had a hint of a whine to it. He was the perfect length. Your nose hit his pelvis, his cock buried in your throat, but not too deep. While somewhat restricted, you could still breathe when he would pull back; that fact made your walls clench, aching to be filled as well. You shuffled a bit, splaying your knees more, lowering you just a bit. This let him angle his cock down a bit more and you looked up at him expectantly. He practically growled at this and began to thrust into your mouth. Tears sprung to your eyes; you weren't sure if it was from what he was doing or the fact that it was happening at all. Drool dripped down your chin, tears from your eyes, and wet from your cunt. You wouldn't be surprised if when he came -down your throat preferably- that you too would climax. His thrusts picked up some, got shallower and his grip pulled at your scalp. The slight sting from your hair, the fat head of his cock battering your throat, and the taste of his precum was sending you into overdrive. While not one for sado-masochism or bondage, a little pain was nice. In the back of his mind, Hyunwoo marveled at the fact that you had not gagged yet. He was too focused on the wet vacuum of your mouth to think about it too much. The sight of your lips swallowing his swollen cock over and over was orgasmic in itself, but the looking your eyes was what sent him over the edge. They were glazed over in pleasure; you already looked so fucked out.

"(Y/N), can I come inside?" He grunted out and you moaned, wanting nothing more.

"Ah fuck." His hips stuttered and you felt the hot, thick cum spray down your throat. He was so deep you almost couldn't taste his release, which…Just. Kept. Going. You swallowed what seemed like over and over and over before he was done.

Hyunwoo pulled out slowly, his cock still half-hard. You caught your breath, finally getting a normal amount of air. Your core was quivering, and you knew you had cum as well from the amount of wetness stuck to the fabric of your shorts. That and your head was swimming.

"Oh, princess." He shook his head, breathing hard himself. You peered up at him with a dazed look and he had never seen you quite like that. He had seen you close, once, your true submissive nature blooming forth. He knew you would let him do anything he wanted, and man was there a lot he wanted to do to you. He had promised to fuck you within an inch of your life, and he was going to make good on it.

"What do you want me to do to you now, sweetheart?"

"Anything." You whined and he groaned, then remembered something. While you had never said it before, he knew you had a thing for hands. You had told him once he wasn't allowed to wear rings because it made his fingers look too good. How easily would you fall apart on his fingers? How many times could he make you come tonight?

"You still on the pill?"

"Yea."

"Good." He hadn't brought any condoms, not thinking anything was going to happen when he left his apartment that morning.

"Scoot up." He ran the back of his finger over your cheek, still damp from tears and you scurried up the mattress. You lay back as he climbed over you; he watched you watch his hand move to your core. He raised an eyebrow as he stroked over the fabric of your shorts. You tended to get very wet very easily, but this was much more than usual.

"Did you cum?" Hyunwoo asked; you nodded sheepishly.

"Oh my god." He dove in, latching onto your lips, not caring that you had just been sucking him dry. Your teeth clacked against his from the messy kiss. His kisses moved from your mouth, down your neck and he settled on your throat again. You were already littered with hickeys, but he was ready to leave more. As he marked your further, he pulled your shorts off roughly, a slight ripping noise coming from the seams. He tossed the last piece of your clothing away, you never slept with underwear on. Finally, his fingers touched your bare pussy, making you whine.

"Oh (Y/N)." He chuckled, burying two fingers in your hot cunt, his thumb finding your swollen clit. You released a long shaky moan, clenching around the digits. He found your weak spot quickly and your hips tilted up, your back arching. You wanted desperately for him to pull his fingers out and fuck you with his delicious cock already, but you refused to say anything. This was for him; he could do whatever he wanted to you, and you would thank him. How had you not realized that this man was the sexiest one on the face of the earth? The pads of his fingers rubbed against your g-spot in just the right way, and it was driving you crazy. His two fingers moved separately, the way they curled and thrusted making the sensations unpredictable. He added a third and spread them, getting you ready for his huge cock. You could feel the strength in his hands, you felt his knuckles rub against your walls, and his palm grinded against your clit.

"H-Hyunwoo!" Your hands landed on his chest, your nails digging into the skin, your release building faster than either of you expected.

"Cum for me, sweet girl." And you did. The breath was knocked out of your lungs, flashes of white dotted your vision. You heard him chuckle, but it sounded like he was far in the distance, rumbling through the air and cutting through the ringing in your ears. When you came down from your high, your vision sharpened, and you saw him smiling down at you. He came closer, bumping his nose against yours, touching his forehead to yours.

"I love you." he whispered, and you hitched a sob, reaching up to cup his jaw. Your thumbs stroked the arch of his cheekbones.

"I love you too." He kissed you softly, his fingers leaving your pussy. His hands cupped your thighs, hitching them up to wrap around his waist. You pulled back from the kiss with a gasp as he stroked his cock against your cunt, fully hard again. Hyunwoo knew he was teasing you, rutting against you, covering his dick in your wetness but refusing to enter you.

"Please, please, please." You began to beg; you weren't even close to ashamed. You needed him inside of you, rearranging your insides, carving himself into you, ruining you for anyone else. His hands came up to yours, still on his cheeks, wrapping his fingers around yours, and pinned them up by your head. With great dexterity, he shifted his hips and began to slip inside of you, still holding your hands. His lips hovered over yours, not quite meeting, your mouth hung open in a silent moan as he split you in half. Not only had it been a while since you two had sex; you hadn't gotten yourself off either. No fingers, no vibrator, nothing. Hyunwoo groaned as he settled deep inside of you. The head of his cock almost touched your cervix, your walls gripping him tighter than they ever had before. Your legs held him close, your ankles linked. It seemed your body refused to let him go. He just sat inside of you, giving you small kisses, and let your walls get used to the stretch. His cock was so deep, it felt like he was in your throat and the delicious burn of the stretch was addicting. It never felt so good before, you used to think the idea sex felt better the more you loved the other person was bullshit. No. You were in euphoria, and he hadn't even moved yet.

"Can I move?" he asked, resting his forehead on your collarbone. He really just wanted to fuck you into the mattress, but he wanted this to last as long as possible.

"Yes." you gasped out, preparing for him to knock loose your kidney but he barely pulled out and then slowly thrust back in, grinding his pelvis into yours. Even this slight movement knocked the wind out of you. The next thrust was a bit faster but just as shallow and his breath mixed with yours as he hovered over you. Not pulling out any further, his hips pumped hard, and you threw your head back. Hyunwoo moved his hands from holding yours to wrapping one around your wrists his free hand moving to your lower back to shift you some. With your legs wrapped around his waist, when he sat up on his knees more your butt left the bed; he manhandled you into a near mating press. Somehow, he got deeper, and you knew if it was a thing, your cervix would get bruised.

"I don't think I can hold back." He grunted; his eyes closed in concentration. What the hell were you in for if he was holding back? You had never been taken quite like that before, by anyone, least of all him. You 'made love'. You were in for him fucking you stupid, like he promised.

"Do what you want." You pled; he had stopped moving and you desperately needed him to keep going.

"You have anywhere to be the next few days?"

"No?"

"Good, because I don't want you to be able to walk when I'm done with you." He gave you a devious smirk, pulling away to rest back on his heels. His strong hands dug into the flesh of your thighs where they rested at his side, holding him to you. You let him move them and exhaled harshly as he forced your knees to your ears, completely and easily folding you in half. Still not moving his hips he leaned down so he could speak right into your ear.

"That pill better work good because I'm going to pump you full of my cum." He thrusted, hard. If your breath hadn't left your lungs, you would have nearly screamed. It wasn't a shallow hard thrust like before, no; he pulled out nearly all the way before slamming back in. Even you could tell how tight your walls were clenching him, desperately trying to hold him in. Not able to tell what part of you wanted him more -your psyche, your heart, or your cunt- you just knew you never wanted him to stop.

"Hyunwoo-" You weren't sure if you could say anything but his name, but his next thrust stopped all thoughts.

"I want my hand shape to be bruised into your skin." He clenched your thighs under your knees.

Another thrust.

"I want to brand you with the feeling of my cock in your cunt so only I can ever satisfy you."

Thrust.

"I want to fuck you on every surface of this apartment." As he recited every filthy desire straight into your ear, he pounded his fat cock so hard into you, you thought he would split you in half.

"I want to paint your skin with my cum and then fill you back up again in the shower."

"I want to fill every part of you that I can. Your pussy, your womb, your mouth, your throat. If you let me, I'll even bury my cock in your ass and paint you white there too."

Your head swam with each word. He was always so sweet and soft before. This was different, he had turned into an animal, and he was determined to fuck you like one.

"I'll do it all. Everything I want. I promise, I will fuck you within an inch of your life."

Master-Master List

[marcelshorjian]

hi. I saw your coming out post. Big congratulations!!!!

I, bittersweetly, relate very much. I'm 23. I started suspecting I was trans around 15/16. I can generally repress it for a good long while (a couple months at a time), so the dysphoria comes in waves of "oh I can tolerate this forever, it's fine, its not that bad, they're just words/names/pronouns."

I think I am very soon reaching that point of "oh god this is inevitable, and I can't live as a woman anymore."

But I also know I have successfully bottled it back up when feeling like this before. And likely will again because I'm about to go into my first career, corporate job.

If you can even answer this... how did you get to the point where you felt ready to come out publicly?

Congrats again, truly.

Hi there! I usually don’t publicly reply to the more personal messages I get on here, but yours really struck a chord with me. Thank you so much for sending it.

I know what you’re going through. I have been stuck in similar patterns for many years. I started suspecting I was trans when I was 15, asked my closest friends to be called by a male name and pronouns when I was around 19, but only decided to transition medically and publicly this year, at 26. It takes time.

Every year I would get an intense few months of feeling like I needed to transition, but always decided against it, for the very same reasons you named. Feeling like I could survive just like this. Feeling like if I could do without it, then it wasn’t something I had to « put myself through ». That it also wasn’t something I had to put others through. I intellectualised it to the point of finding many material reasons not to do it, focused on my fears and the vulnerability it would bring, just to occlude that very simple question: what do I want?

Delaying doing it, thinking it’s fine, it’s just a discomfort, is because you’ve lived with it for so long it doesn’t register as pain anymore. But it is pain.

Why should you settle for survival? Why would stating what you want be selfish? What are you really putting others through? Some tweaks in the way they address you, maybe some confusion and questions they’d never asked themselves before, that can only broaden their understanding of human complexity. The hostility often comes from defensiveness, but it's not your problem anyway.

You don’t have to do it all at once. Hormones can be started, stopped, picked up again. The changes are gradual. You don’t have to come out to everyone right away, just a select few you trust. But you’ll see, freedom is addictive.

I got to this point after years of unease by being around my amazing trans friends, and seeing them thriving and caring for each other, and them telling me: you love us like this, so allow yourself the same grace.

[anstarwar]

Bonding time for the commanders

Wrote a thing for it on the fly, not edited at all, but was having fun thinking about their dynamic...

"So, um, what's it like in there?" Barriss asked casually, flicking some dirt from her skirts.

Gree, who was lost in his datapad entering some note about a leaf he just discovered, only replied with "hmm?"

This is how their conversations usually went, much to Barriss' frustration. She'd been...commander (weird)...of the 41st for three months now and had gotten no further in breaking through to her fellow commander.

Maybe this is just how it was supposed to work between Jedi and Clones? They had a job to do, she reasoned, so maybe the clones didn't want to be...friends? That didn't feel right to her, but nothing to be done about it.

"Never mind," she cleared her throat, wrapped her robes tighter around her shoulders and went to find Master Luminara.

+++

Two months later...

"Do you want to see, Commander?" Gree asked as he examined the visor of his helmet in his hands. He'd spent the better part of an hour fiddling with the wires, scrubbing the dirt away, and touching up scraped off bits of green paint.

Barriss looked at him, eyebrow arched in question.

"...my bucket...helmet. You asked a few months ago and...well, if you're still curious." He answered, rolling it around in his hands.

"Is it ok?" Barriss replied, hesitant.

Gree wasn't sure how to answer that. Helmets, to the clones, were personal. You didn't share yours with anyone just willy-nilly. They were designed for protecting a very vital part of their body (though Gree was convinced some of his brothers didn't use their noggins as often as they should, so he's not sure how effective they were for those particular troops), and tweaked and customized to each wearer's specifications. They were as close as anything to a prized possession for many of them and "is it OK" wasn't as simple a question as it sounded.

But Gree had also spent a month trying to get to know his little Commander. Well, little wasn't quite the right word. Barriss was fearsome, strong, and wise beyond her years - but she was small, barely coming up to his shoulder. She was too young to see the things they saw on a daily basis, and it pained him to know she also had to live this life. That, like the clones, she wouldn't truly know what it was like to be a kid. It was like a blaster to the gut the day he realized she also didn't have much choice in the matter, and that she was working so hard to hide her own pain and worry.

It hit him one day that maybe she needed reassurance just as much as his own troops. Not from the fighting or the uncertainty of what tomorrow would bring, but from her own self-doubts and insecurities. She was his little sister, his vod'ika. So he'd decided he'd do what he could to reassure her and, he reasoned, that meant breaking down his own walls and getting to know her. To build trust.

"Yeah...yeah its ok, here just..." Gree moved to place it on her head, but paused. "...don't know if it'll fit over your robes there, Commander."

Barriss laughed. "No I suppose not." She scrunched up her nose, an expression Gree observed she'd make when she was coming to a decision.

"What about..." Barriss pushed back her hood and unwrapped the robe from around her shoulders.

"Here," she said, extending it out to Gree with a shy smile.

He took it, holding it in front of him like it was a specimen he found on the underside of a lartie, and not a piece of cloth. He arched his brow at the Padawan.

"You're sharing something important with me, so it's only fair I do the same, yeah?" she said in explanation.

Gree nodded, but wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with it. He shook it out, not sure what he was expecting it to do, but it felt like the best option. It wasn't like he'd never seen or held a cloak before, but this belonged to a Jedi, his Commander. Was there some sort of protocol or etiquette he should be aware of?

Barriss chuckled. "You can put it on and I'll put on your helm-bucket?" She looked into the visor of the helmet as if it would tell her what to call it. "Bucket," she nodded, turned it the proper direction and plopped it on her head.

"Whoa," crackled through the vocoder as things flickered to life on the HUD. Scrolls of data came through, lights blinked here and there --indicating what she wasn't sure. It was a lot and she felt the urge to rip it off of her head to stop the onslaught of information. She thought better of it, though. Gree had trusted her with it and she didn't want to make some egregious error in etiquette or cause offense.

She centered her breathing as her eyes adjusted to the flashes and pings. "Oh my god," her hand flew up, smacking the aerator, unused to the extra bulk around her face.

Giggles erupted from the vocoder. "Commander Gree you, haha, you look...well..." Gree shifted, pulling the hood of the robe over his head while simultaneously flicking the edges of the robe over his pauldrons. He was struck, suddenly, by an urge he hadn't let himself feel since he was a cadet.

Grinning mischievously he stuck his tongue out at the young commander. "I look amazing! I think I might keep this." He flapped the edge of the robe at Barriss.

"I didn't say..." Barriss lifted the helmet and held it propped on the top of her head. She stuck her tongue out as if that would make him give the robe back.

He stuck his tongue out in return.

"Click click." Gree and Barriss' whipped their heads around at the sound.

"Lookin' good commanders!" Captains Styles and Grey stood, barely suppressing their laughter, Styles holding up his datapad, clearly having just snapped a holo of their superior officers.

"You are going to delete that holo right now, Captain!" Gree grumbled, pushing the hood back from his head.

"You are going to send me that holo right now, Captain Styles!" Barriss said as she strode over to the clone, holding out her hand. "Can I see?"

"Sorry Commander, but the Commander outranks you," Styles looked at Gree, eyes twinkling with glee, as he handed the datapad to the Padawan.

"Oh, yup, you're right Commander Gree. You do look amazing!" She beamed as she took in the holo.

Gree sighed, he knew when he was defeated. Pulling the purple hood back over his head he straightened and marched off towards camp.

"Hey! Your bucket, Gree! I need my robe back, hey!" Barriss yelled as she chased after him.

+++

oops this was way longer than I meant. If you made it to the end here, thanks for reading!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Do you think Adrien is a bad hero?

That's a complex question. It's kind of like asking, "Are Alya and Nino bad friends?"

The way canon has written them, I do kind of have to answer, "Yes," but at the same time, I would never write them as such because it's so antithetical to their role in the narrative. They're victims of bad writing who were never intended to read the way canon has made them read. You can tell this because almost every instance of them being terrible friends is not treated as them being terrible friends by the narrative.

Adrien is in a similar boat. The writers have consistently had him do unheroic things, but the narrative doesn't treat these actions as unheroic. I think this happens for a very obvious reason: he's a fictional character whose actions will always reflect the writers' vision of what's fine for a hero/romantic lead to do no matter how messed up that vision is.

For example, in Glaciator, Adrien ignores Ladybug telling him that she's too busy to meet up that night, but the narrative somehow paints this as Ladybug being in the wrong by giving Marinette a massive guilt trip for... sticking to the plan she and Adrien had already agreed to?

Marinette:(looks around in awe) Wow! Cat Noir, this is... beautiful! (notices Cat Noir looking glum) I'm so sorry. Cat Noir: Why? It's not your fault. Marinette: No— Yeah— I mean— What I mean is I'm very sorry for you because, um, you prepared all of this and then... she didn't show. Cat Noir: She told me she might not make it but I had my fingers crossed. I really wanted her to come. Marinette:(walks over next to him) Maybe she had a really good reason for not coming. Like, a problem or something. Cat Noir: You're only saying that to make me feel better.

And the akuma in this episode is Marinette's fault, not Adrien's, even though Adrien is the one breaking plans and ignoring people telling him that they're too busy. I have no idea what the lesson of that episode was supposed to be, I just know that it was weird. But none of that is Adrien's fault because he's a fictional character who is a slave to the writer's vision. Adrien has no power to be better than the writers. No character does.

So, yeah, the show often paints Adrien as a pretty lack luster hero and I cringe every time it happens, but I still have no issue writing or reading him as a good hero because it's blatantly obvious that he's not supposed to read as a bad hero. Otherwise you wouldn't get him constantly having the role of picking Ladybug up when she's at her lowest. That whole "you and me against the world, my Lady" thing that sounds really cool, but never amounts to anything because the writing sucks. I mean, season five literally ends with Ladybug up against the world and he doesn't show, but it's totally cool, I guess!

In summary, I think Adrien is often written as a bad hero, but pretty much every character in this show is a bad person if we take their actions at face value, so I won't slap him with that label in my own writing as its unfair to hold him to a standard I don't hold any other character to. It is extremely easy to make a few minor tweaks to his character and make him a wonderful hero.

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Progress update!💙

Hello hello and welcome new followers, here's how the game is coming along! This update is a bit late and might be kind of short. :[]

Firstly, thank you to everyone that participated in the poll before it ended. The overall results and responses gave me a better direction for the start of the game! It's good knowing that majority of you found out how to proceed and didn't have too much trouble with it. :,] If you still want to give your opinion on the start of the game feel free to comment!

Update progress:

It's time to talk about the scenes for the endings:

Last week I mentioned the two endings you could get that are from the [Extended Demo]. Now that they both have their own separate choice I went through and did some final touch ups. Even though they're almost finished I may come back and tweak them.

Timers:

I had plans to actually add timed choices in the [Extended Demo] but I didn't have the time( :P ) to add them in. I'm still working on how I want the design to look and where to place it so this is just a test example of what's to come. These won't be used often but they'll be in places where I feel the situation requires urgency. >:[]

The cave:

Before:

After:

Most of changes for this ending ranged from dialog adjustments to small immersive effects being added to fit the scene better. There's another variant ending mixed in there as well, you get the same outcome but it depends on what you do before then. I also dialed the exploration for this part back to it's original. Given the players(Y/N) state at the start, this section would've made the path too long for my liking and wouldn't fit the original symbolism I was going for.

The bridge:

Before:

After:

I had a lot of fun with this one since it's another favorite of mine! This one required a lot of tweaking since this area is only accessible to the player(Y/N) through two* different places.

The way to this area is not the same from the [Extended Demo] anymore and was expanded out from the courtesy of my play tester's suggestions. Most of the dialog changed and I'm still in the process of adding immersive effects here. I loved the way the original looked and decided to just revamp what I already drew. I even moved the bridge upwards to actually show the lead up to it versus being blocked by the dialog box. This one won't have a variant(?) ending but will play out differently compared to the [Extended Demo]. This is still a big work in progress and I didn't get a chance to fully finish this yet. :[]

I didn't adjust the progress bar only because not too much has been updated for right now and I'm still working on The bridge section. :[]

If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do on kofi! All donations and tips help tremendously while I work on the game. A very huge thank you to those that have optionally bought the [Extended Demo] and the March 2023 demo on itch.io too, it really means a lot. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is open:

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

I won't be able to do too much for the next few days but thank you guys for the encouraging support and patience, I really appreciate it! :,]

[fanficonly]

Wenclair -One Shot-

"Jealousy looks hot on you"

Did a jealous Enid so thought a jealous Wednesday would be fun to try out.

What would a jealous Wednesday look like and what would it lead to I wonder?

I have a few drafts of different ways she would respond ... Here's number 1.

A quick one-shot while I'm tweaking my other fics enjoy😋

"Stop asking me Yoko!" Enid replied frustrated

"I'm sorry I just-" she looked across the courtyard to the sinister girl who was currently staring daggers at the tortured Artist who wouldn't leave her alone "I don't get it" she scrunched her eyebrows and shook her head lightly. The thought of her bubbly and VERY innocent bestie falling for Nevermore's resident Psychopath was troubling to say the least.

"Yeah well neither do I but who am I to argue with my brain I'm very rarely wrong" she smiled widely but it was immediately lost the second Yoko choked on her drink in response.

She laughed and Enid replied offended " What's so funny?" Her hand on her hip questioningly.

"You believing you're always right of course" she let out a "HA" after the answer and mimicked Enid by putting a hand on her hip.

"I never said I was always right I just said I'm rarely wrong" she corrected her bestie and draped an arm across her shoulder, kissing her cheek playfully. She jokingly squeezed her, acting angry and Yoko chuckled in response. They stood like this for a moment smiling at their banter and mumbling that the other was an idiot.

"Enid" her ears pricked up at her name being spoken by the raven haired girl who had appeared like a magician behind the two girls. Wednesday ducked between them both grabbing Enid's arm and placing it on her shoulder instead.

Enid giggled at Wednesday's sly attempt to separate her from Yoko. "Wednesday" she smiled at her new girlfriend nodding and then looked across at Yoko who shook her head and massaged her temples in response, taking a light step back.

"I just came to see how you were mi amore " she explained, not breaking her pokerface even as Enid gave her a questioning look. Wednesday did however peel her eyes away from Enid to transfer a somewhat menacing look towards Yoko.

"And detach me from another person?" Enid responded, looking across to Yoko who now had her head in her hands at the obvious jealousy she had just witnessed.

Wednesday looked back at Enid and not being one to hide her bluntness and usually unnecessary hostility towards others Enid gave affection to, she just smirked.

"I cannot help it" Wednesday admitted rather bluntly "Ever since we defined our relationship I have yearned for your touch and become uncomfortable when you show the same affection towards other, lesser beings" she explained, flicking her eyes to Yoko who just let her mouth fall open in shock at the hurtful comment. Wednesday seemed confused at the feeling herself but she was never one to fight an urge so she ran with it, accepting it as normal behaviour.

"Hey don't be mean to Yoko." Enid defended her bestie as usual. Then looked at Yoko and said "Sorry Bestie" she smiled innocently apologising for Wednesday's actions. Also, trying to convey the fact that she had yet to find a way to control Wednesday's malicious tendencies on a consistent level.

"I'm not" Wednesday hadn't ripped her eyes away from Yoko who still remained close enough to Enid that Wednesday felt uncomfortable. She felt no shame in drilling her eyes into Yoko's to deter the touchy feely 'bestie'. Wednesday wasn't stupid, she knew she was being unreasonable and that Enid was a very physically affection little werewolf towards all those she cared about but that was irrelevant. Enid was her girlfriend. Hers. And she selfishly wanted the right to her affections to be solely hers and no one else's.

Wednesday's inner battle with her illogical thoughts were interrupted when Enid giggled "Jealously, looks hot on you babe" she smirked flashing her fangs at her girlfriend and winking.

"I am not jealous" She crossed her arms like a child having a tantrum,lying through her teeth. But had to look away to hide the fact that Enid would be making her blush if her cheeks had the ability to turn pink.

Enid removed her arm from Wednesday's shoulder and was immediately attacked with her signature death stare and Wednesday pulling her arm back into its position.

Enid giggled again wrapping her other arm around Wednesday neck

"urgh get a room" Yoko complained but the 2 girls were too caught up in eachother to even bother to respond. Wednesday got lost in Enid's eyes for a split second admiring her features fondly.

"Jealous?" Enid questioned turning away from Wednesday to look at Yoko, wiggling her eyebrows. She remained in place though her arms still securely wrapped around the shorter girl's shoulder.

"No I don't get Jealous that's just Wednesday here" Yoko pointed at the pale girl smirking herself.

"Tread lightly Vamp" Wednesday threatened turning her head towards Yoko as well. Up until now she had only been focused on Enid's face, admiring her girlfriend's features and ignoring the rest of the student body. But she had side eyed Yoko as she spoke this time, directing her bitterness towards the vampire.

"Hey" Enid scolded the jealous girl as if she was a child. She was aware that Yoko and Wednesday had a troubling friendship before she had started dating Wednesday and now with the unnecessary competition for Enid's affections it seemed things were very unlikely to get better.

"I'm not sorry" Wednesday silently rolled her eyes and turned her focus back to the werewolf in front of her, believing everything else around them to be irrelevant compared to her beauty.

"Whatever she's just mad because I've seen you naked and she hasn't yet" Yoko knew she should have just left it alone but she had finally found something that would get under Wednesday's skin so she had to take this opportunity, it would be wasted otherwise. It was the only thing she could think of to spark a reaction from her Bestie's lowkey possessive girlfriend, however off topic it was.

"What" Wednesday couldn't hide the pure confusion and rage that built up inside her at a slow burn.

"YOKO!" Enid pulled away from Wednesday to slap her best friend on the arm disapprovingly.

"What it's true!" She laughed recalling the few times she had found Enid after a full moon, sprawled across a floor and passed out.

"You're so bad" she joked in the typical girly way causing Wednesday to physically cringe. She loved Enid but sometimes Wednesday was astounded that she had fallen so deeply for a girl who spoke as if she was in a 70's housewife commercial.

Wednesday took this opportunity to step forward

"I am not going to give into the temptation to ask" she said but inside her jealousy was burning at an overwhelming speed. "Enid come with me" she demanded before grabbing her hand and dragging her away from Yoko, who just chuckled and walked across the courtyard to the rest of the vamps.

"Wens I get your jealous but-" she started before being cut off.

"I am NOT jealous." Wednesday lied, biting her tongue and continuing to drag Enid along behind her. Stubborn and jealous? Boy did Enid know how to pick 'em.

"So what was all that about?" Enid giggled, skipping along behind Wednesday, a wide smile still on her face. As toxic as some people might find the jealousy trait Enid enjoyed it for 2 reasons:

1. It confirmed Wednesday's undying love for her which she was mildly terrible at expressing due to her lack of relationship experience.

And 2. It was hot! And Wednesday would now be doing everything in her power for Enid's attention which she slyly enjoyed. Especially since she's usually the clingy one.

"I have no idea what you are referring too" Wednesday out right deflected the matter at hand still pulling Enid along behind her.

"Mmhmm okay" she giggled again "So are you gonna ask?" She spoke as Wednesday continued to drag her through the corridors of nevermore. Upon reaching her destination she hurried inside slammed the door and pressed Enid up against it.

"No" she responded before connecting thier lips in a passionate kiss. This was not where Enid thought this was going, in fact she half expected a lecture on relationship etiquette from the highly inexperienced Wednesday Addams. But she was also NOT complaining in the slightest sinking into Wednesday's embrace happily.

Enid also spoke between kisses "You- sure -you don't-wanna- know" she pulled away from Wednesday to catch her breath. She felt dizzy with the scent of the intoxicating woman in front of her. God Wednesday really had a compelling effect on Enid, so much so that she actually enjoyed her jealousy.

"Very" Wednesdays soulful eyes penetrated her soul with certainty as she pulled away.

"Here" Enid spoke. She then placed a kiss on Wednesday left cheek then another on her right. "You get two" she beamed knowing exactly what had triggered Wednesday's jealousy in the first place.

Wednesday exhaled out of her nose and was pleasantly surprised at how comforting the gesture made her feel.

She raised her hand to place it upon Enid's cheek and whispered a small but effective "Thank You". She wasn't sure how to react to someone receiving affection from her girlfriend, no matter how platonic it was. But something about what Enid just did, settled the emotions that threatened to bubble up from deep within the depths of her dark soul.

Enid noticed this and smiled knowingly. Crisis averted. However she did miss the love struck, Jealousy ridden Wednesday who had made an appearance only moments before.

You might say that's why she said what she said next but also Enid was a firm believer of full honesty and she didn't want this to bite her in the ass later.

"So listen about the whole seeing me naked thing Yoko was-" but Wednesday moved her index finger to place it upon Enid's pink lips to silence her

"I do not wish to hear the details" she spoke and before Enid could speak again that feeling rose up in Wednesday again and she connected their lips once more.

Enid pulled away for a moment, pushing Wednesday's shoulders back to look her in the eyes and talk to her.

"No details it's not what you think-" she really needed to tell Wednesday it was not a sexual or romantic thing AT ALL before she burned the whole school down, or at the least stop her from plotting to stake her best friend in later days.

Wednesday clasped her hands around Enid's wrists and lifted them up to slam them against the door behind her and kissed her again to keep her quiet. Enid happily let Wednesday dominate her, enjoying the reaction she got from the girl who insisted she did not like physical affection.

'What a lie' she thought to herself. They pulled apart for a second to catch their breaths, panting restlessly. Even Wednesday was shocked by her own actions, but she couldn't think of a better way to claim Enid as hers.

"Okay" Enid spoke again and Wednesday's ears twitched "but it's nothing weird it's just-" Enid tried to explain again this time much more breathless than before but Wednesday just rolled her eyes

"Enid." She interrupted plainly again. She was done playing around

"Yeah?" She looked innocently at Wednesday, her usual smile warming Wednesday's cold dead heart.

"Shut up" Wednesday spoke before trailing her hand up into Enid's hair and pulling her towards her lips to connect them once again.

Enid finally submitted. If Wednesday was gonna be jealous there's nothing she could say or do to stop her so why not just enjoy the outcome. She didn't know when or if it would happen again so she decided to sink into Wednesday's embrace and kiss her back.

"Happily" Enid smiled into the kiss draping her hand around Wednesday's waist and letting her continue to passionately kiss her in a jealous frenzy.

'See sometimes jealousy is hot' she thought to herself melting into the kiss as Wednesday made certain Enid knew what she was to her.

[eventinelysplayground]

Loved

This is my last pet fic for the time being, but I will do more I have so much fun with them. Thank you to @lorei-writes for the encouragement and idea for this insanity with her and @wordycheeseblob event they had. I did tweak the ending just a bit for this as it was a bit too sad for me otherwise. Yes I will be writing ones in the future that go with this since I skipped over some things I know people will be curious about but this was already very long. It also felt a bit disjointed to me but I had somebody read it and they said it was fine so hopefully it was just me and it is fine. Also I learned a bit about white tigers looking things up for this fic. Things seem to come full circle for Chérie as she is introduced to someone new. Fluffy and sad at the same time, implied deaths. WC approx 2370

It was an unexpectedly cool night at the end of summer and Chérie sat in the kennels looking out the window at the moon, her tail twitching occasionally.

I really should sleep but I'm too excited. You'd think I would have outgrown this by now but apparently no.

Chérie turned around and looked out her kennel across the way at two empty ones. She lay down resting her head on her giant paws and let out a sigh.

What would you two think seeing me like this again? I do think I was more nervous back then though, I remember I kept you up practically all night.

********

“Chérie.”

Papa? Papa, you came to see me!

“I know it's late but I had something to tell you.”

Jean opened the door of Chérie's kennel and she scampered out, tripping over her own paws in her excitement.

It's okay Papa. I like being up with the moon!

Jean sat on the wooden floor and Cherie climbed into his lap.

“I have a favor to ask of you.”

What's a favor?

He needs you to do something very special for him.

Oh.

Chérie took a quick glance in King's direction then looked up at Jean and tilted her head to the side.

“I need to apologize to Mitsuki for taking up so much of her time, especially tonight.”

A-pole-gize?

He needs to say he's sorry!

Ah, thank you Vic!

Cherie heard Vic grumble about all the noise at an indecent hour and King chastising him, she was about to ask them what indecent meant but just then Jean began to stroke her head.

“She is…. special to me. I want to see her smile more. I think seeing you will make her smile even more radiantly than normal.”

I don't understand but I'll do anything for you Papa.

“I will come and get you in the afternoon, she will be less busy then and we will have more time…”

Jean trailed off still softly stroking Chérie on the head and she lay there content. After a while he shook his head and stopped petting her.

“You should rest Chérie, I will come and get you tomorrow, be a good girl.”

Jean put Chérie back into her kennel and she let out several little mew like sounds.

Okay Papa, goodnight I'll miss you! See you tomorrow, I can't wait!

As the door to the kennel closed behind Jean Chérie's head hung and she stared at her paws.

Well it sounds like tomorrow will be quite the big important day for you Cherie.

Do you think so?

Absolutely, what do you think Vic?I think it's time for you both to be quiet and let me go back to sleep.

King let out a chuckle as he got up stretching his limbs. Chérie had more questions but she didn't want to be rude so she stayed quiet. After a few minutes she heard an exasperated sigh.

What is it?

Chérie's big eyes blinked in surprise at Vic who was now sitting at the door of his kennel.

Well get on with it, the sooner we answer your asinine questions the sooner I get to go back to sleep.

Vic be nice, she's just a pup after all.

She is not…

Knock it off, you know what I mean.

Vic let out a huff while King shook his head at him.

What's bothering you pup?

Well, you said it will be a inorant-

Important.

Im-por-ant day tomorrow.

Yes.

Well, what exactly am I supposed to do on an imorant day? And how do I make a Misui smile? What if I do it wrong and Papa gets mad at me! What if-

That's enough! Firstly it's im-por-tant, secondly her name is Mit-su-ki and lastly he is not your Papa he's your owner. How many times-

Viiic.

King gave Vic a look that made him slump his shoulders.

Don't worry Pup we’ll gladly HELP you and teach you everything you need to do.

Really?

Of course, now the most important thing is…

*******

Chérie woke late in the morning her dreams and memories still filling her mind. She stretched her paws and let out a loud yawn before turning to look out the window.

Hmmm it should be close to the right time, I really should wait but….I can't help it.

Chérie went over to the door of her kennel and with a few quick nudges from her paw she heard the distinct clink of the latch opening, a trick she had learned from watching King. She stopped at the door to the outside and looked back at the same two empty kennels from last night.Wish me luck my friends.

Chérie walked slowly across the grounds, towards a very important and sunny spot filled with memories. The memory of meeting her Mama for the first time, of lazy afternoons, of playing with her friends, of being introduced to her cub and flower for the first time, getting read to, being dressed in a hat and having tea, of listening to violin and flute music carried through the window, of hearing her cub, flower and Mama would be leaving for awhile, of quiet yet sad days of just her and Papa, of when they finally returned home after five long years. So many memories over so many years and each one, even the sad ones were so very precious to her.

It does seem to be coming full circle doesn't it?

Cherie's thoughts drifted to yesterday afternoon. She had been laying in her kennel napping when she heard the door creak open.

“Cherie?”

My cub, you've come to see me!

“Hey Cherie, I'm sorry I woke you up girl.”

I don't mind, I much rather spend the time with you than sleeping anyways.

Chérie watched patiently as the young man opened the door of her kennel and sat on the floor outside it. He looked very much like their Papa, although he had Mama's eyes and smile. Cherie prodded over and sat in front of the young man who began to gently stroke her fur.

“Chérie, I want to ask you a favor.”

Anything for you my boy.

Cherie nuzzled her big head against the young man's hand.

“Late tomorrow afternoon there's somebody I want you to meet.”

Oh?

“She's very special to me and I love her dearly.”

The young man let out a sigh.

“If I'm going to keep her with me I need to start being completely honest with her about what I am, what my family is.”

I see.

“I thought that meeting you first might be best before well, girls love animals after all don't they?”

The young man straightened his back and looked into Chérie's eyes.

“Can I count on you to help me Cherie? I don't want to frighten her, I don't want her to not smile at me again.”

Chérie lifted one of her giant paws and gently batted at the young man's face.

Be more confident, we will prevail. I have much experience in meeting very important people.

Chérie let out a chuckle to herself as she continued to walk towards the spot she assumed her cub would be. As she drew closer she heard voices and the faintest scent of a delightful perfume reached her nose. She paused briefly around a hedge taking in a deep breath and it reminded her again of all those years ago.

Papa did this exact same thing as well back then, he was very nervous although I doubt many would have been able to tell.

A smile crossed Chérie's face and she carefully peaked her head out around the bush. Her cub was there, talking to a young woman with blonde hair whose face she couldn't see. It took only a moment for her cub to sense her presence and he smiled at her while motioning for her to wait.

“Please, just give me a few minutes alright?”

“Five minutes.”

The young woman's voice was soft and sad. Cherie was wondering what had happened when her cub motioned for her to come forward before quickly squeezing the young woman's shoulders and walking towards Cherie. As she approached him he reached down and patted her head then turned back towards the young woman.

“Colette.”

The young woman turned and Cherie saw her eyes go wide and mouth fall open.

“Wolf! Is that a tiger!?”

“Yes, she's our family pet. Don't worry, she's very gentle and won't bite you.”

Chérie could sense the nervousness radiating off the young woman, Colette her cub had called her, but there was also a hint of curiosity. Colette's features were soft, her eyes a vivid blue. Her nose was small, her cheeks full and her lips mirrored them both.

“Can I pet her?”

“Of course.”

Colette's hand stretched out tentatively before settling on the top of Chérie's head. After a moment she noticed a small smile creep across Colette's face.

“You're smiling again.”

Cub….what had you done

“I suppose I am.”

“Good, because we still need to talk.”

Colette's face fell and her hand that had been moving through Chérie's fur stopped at those words followed by Chérie snapping her head toward her cub.

You did not just say that! Please tell me you did not just tell a young lady that you need to talk! What in the world is wrong with you?

“Colette, you look upset again. Is it something I-”

Chérie lifted up one of her massive paws and knocked her cub squarely on the back of his knee, cutting off the rest of his sentence and almost causing him to topple over.

Don't ask asinine questions! My god, I’ve turned into Vic.

“Your tiger seems to understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Wolf, do you want to end things with me?”

“Of course not, why would you ever think that?”

Oh that look, I love you my cub but nuance is not your strong point. Looking at her I suspect she knows that too deep down.

Chérie saw Colette let out a sigh and shake her head. She began carding her fingers through Cherie's fur again before an exasperated smile formed on her face.

“She's very cute and very nice. Luckily for you I find you just as nice, and you're cuter. What did you want to talk about Wolf?”

A few weeks later when summer had changed to fall Chérie once again sat in her kennel looking out at the moon, her tail gently swaying across the floor.

It was nice to see Colette again today, I think she's a wonderful addition. So many changes over the years…

Chérie turned her head to the empty kennels again thinking of her long gone friends.

I'm really very lucky, my cub is lucky too after the way that conversation started.

Thinking back on that day made Cherie laugh, it had gone quite differently then the one her Papa and Mama had had all those years ago but one thing was the same, the love in all their eyes. She was too young to understand it when it was her Papa and Mama looking at each other but she was much older and wiser now and she recognized that same look in Wolf and Colette's eyes. She smiled to herself as something her Papa had said that day came back to her.

‘Now that she's been born into the world, I can't help but want her to be loved.’

Chérie laid down resting her head on top of her paws.

That was your wish for me Papa, and I have been so loved. By you and Mama, Wolf, Lily and my dear friends. Even better I've gotten to see my cub fall in love as you fell in love with Mama. I can only hope the same for my flower one day.

Chérie let out a soft yawn as her eyes began to slowly shut.

I'm very tired, I think I’ll sleep now.

Chérie, Chérie?

This is ridiculous, all the times she bloody well kept us awake and she just keeps sleeping there!

Vic….

Chérie felt the sensation of light on her eyes and she slowly opened them.

Oh that's very bright.

Look, she's waking up!

Well it's about time.

Chérie blinked her eyes before getting up and stretching.

What?

Her paws were still big but they were no longer huge. She was a smaller size, one that she had not been in many years. She startled and looked around, she was somewhere unfamiliar but very pleasant.

Chérie!

Chérie snapped her head in the direction of the voice and her eyes lit up at what she saw.

King! Vic!

Chérie took off in a run, tripping over her paws and landing face first into the soft grass.

Did you forget how to use your legs?

No, but...

Come on Vic, let's go help her.

King took off in a sprint towards Chérie not waiting for Vic who soon took off in a mad dash to catch up to him. When King reached Cherie he nuzzled her and licked her face all over.

King!

I promised you I would wait for you mijn katje.

Chérie smiled at King whose tail just wouldn't stop wagging.

Thank you for keeping your promise.

Chérie nuzzled against King's neck and purred contentedly.

You could have waited for me, you know my legs are shorter than yours.

Sorry Vic.

Vic!

Chérie stumbled over to Vic and began nuzzling him almost knocking him off his feet.

Alright, alright. Calm down already.

Sorry, I'm just so happy to see you both again!

The three of them sat there for a moment just gazing at each other before Vic let out a sigh.

Well get on with it then.

Get on with what?

Everything you have to tell us, the sooner you start the sooner you'll finish which means the sooner I can go back to napping! How are you still asking asinine questions after all these years?

Vic…

Chérie couldn't help but laugh at the familiar exchange.

You're right Vic, I have soooo much to tell you both! I don't know where to start.

It's okay Cherie, we have all the time in the world to listen to you.

[autism-alley]

alright sorry to be a bitch about casting, but i’m gonna bc i do think it’s important to illustrating the feel of a character (if you come to me to bitch and whine about black annabeth get the fuck off my lawn). myself and others have already talked at length about the writing of the series, so if you’re looking for more weighty criticism, just scroll thru the pjo crit tag, now is my time to be a stickler for details, and this is a live action show, a visual medium, the casting is important for reasons beyond an actor’s ability to deliver lines. embodying the character purely in an actor’s personality isn’t enough—they need to physically feel like they could be this person to really sell it (there’s also something to be said abt not having to cast someone who supposedly feels like the character they’re playing just as themself—it’s called acting for a reason, but i digress).

just. take in the official viria pjo art of sally jackson.

look at this woman. look at her!! that is MOTHER. that is the woman who worked herself to the bone to single handedly raise perseus jackson, flaws and all. that is the woman who rocked up to the battle of manhattan with a shotgun and A WILL. that is the woman poseidon himself called a queen amongst women and offered a palace to. with warm lighting only outshone by her reassuring smile and the candle of percy’s blue birthday cupcake—that’s sally jackson. the composition of it, her pose and welcoming smile, makes the viewer feel like we are percy jackson, and it’s our birthday we’re being beckoned to join in the celebration of, a special moment between mother and child.

now look at this woman.

i feel like i’ve had this english teacher before, asking me why my autistic ass was tweaking out in the middle of her lesson on iambic peranimeter. i’m sure she’s a nice lady in real life, it’s nothing against her as a person or her skills as an actress, to me she just lacks the warmth and gentleness crucial to sally jackson’s feel as a character. that is my own subjective take. she doesn’t make my shoulders relax at the sight of her. her smile doesn’t make the tightness in my chest go away. looking at this sally jackson, i feel everything her character ISN’T meant to embody. i start feeling stressed out. like everything is somehow a lesson and she has grand expectations of my answer. and the script does NOT do her any favors with lines like “you decide how ugly this gets” at VERY MINOR “outbursts” of percy’s. paired together, the script and the casting, we get what feels more like all the chastising teachers in percy’s life rather than his loving and patient MOTHER. and i don’t wanna hear another one of y’all defend this depiction as more accurate to parents of ND children or i’m gonna lose it.

now finally, look at this woman.

we can bash the pjo movies for all their inaccuracies and adaptation flaws, but if there’s one thing they nailed, it’s sally jackson. the kind eyes. the welcoming and reassuring gaze. a tired yet inherently trustworthy face. she’s so open. she feels so special, so giving, even if she herself has little. i can see myself laughing in her kitchen, making seven-layer dip or blue cookies. i can see her handing me an extra few jelly beans after a long shift at the candy store. i can see myself as percy jackson, able to put aside another school expulsion because that’s my mother and she’ll never let me doubt she loves me. i can see why poseidon, god of the sea, would fall in love with her in a way he hadn’t in thousands of years. i can see him offering her the world.

i don’t know if this casting impacted the official art, it did come first, maybe that’s a well-known fact and i just sound like a jackass—nor is official art is the end all be all (looking the og official pjo art dead in the eyes)—but this woman just deeply strikes me as the same sally jackson as the one in viria’s art and the pjo books. she’s sally jackson in ways show sally vehemently just… is not.

[insert-cephalopod-joke]

An update…

So, I’ve been gone for bit, and I am very sorry for that.

I have had a few things happen recently as well as ongoing things that are taking away from my ability to create new installments for ATL. Even before that, I’ve never had enough time to tell the story the way that I wanted to with my agents. Quite frankly, they have turned out to be one dimensional shards of the characters they deserve to be. None of this is any of your guy’s fault, obviously, your asks and your support are more than I could ever ask for.

Which is why I want to do better. I want to give you all the dimensional characters you deserve. I want to give you all more. And no matter what I do with ATL at this point, I will not be able to provide that.

So… I am canceling Ask The Lads.

…

Hey, don’t gimme that look!

See, it would be a royal shame to send off ATL without a proper funeral, so I plan to finish Milo’s arc through a written approach rather than an illustrated one that will be divided into several segments.

So what will happen to all of the asks submitted?

After ATL concludes, I am going to give it a new, fresh reboot. All asks relating specifically to Milo’s arc will unfortunately not be able to be answered, but I do intend to answer them subtly through the written segments in order to do them justice. The rest will be given to this reboot to answer.

And… how’s this “reboot” gonna work?

There will be no more comics for the main series, but a new approach to the storytelling (and still has art!). The same characters be there, but there will be some changes and tweaks to them that hopefully you all will like. There will be some comics every now and again outside of the story (like the After Hours series) but they will be much less frequent due to the aforementioned time restraints.

With all of this being said, I know this is all sudden, and I have said I am going to do many things many times. But I promise you all that this will be the final change. I will do better for you all and keep this story alive. I want to keep sharing my characters with you all and watch them grow alongside you.

So please, I wish for you all to forgive me, and to please stick around just a bit longer so I can make it up to you all.

Thank you, everyone 💙❤️💛💚

[my-fool]

i'm crazy about cult logic and the familiar risk. how do you come up with your ideas? (earnest question not rhetorical) do you come up with one core concept first and then build and build on the web of themes, or does it all unfold naturally from any random point? or do you make it up as you go and then tweak after?

how do you reconcile in your head so many different versions of the same character, like ulder and astarion and even wyll to some extent who are so different in both of those fics?

Interesting questions thank you for the opportunity to speak....

Ideas & plot structure

Ideas and plots are one of those things that happen organically for me so it's hard to define where they come from BUT i don't want to leave you with that bland answer so I will speak vaguely upon this topic for a moment

The best advice about having unique ideas comes from neil gaiman's masterclass series where he says that the best ideas are the collision of two distinct concepts (its been 2 years since i watched it so paraphrasing). For me this is usually 1 core idea that I try to interpret through characters that have an existing dynamic. For Cult Logic, I wanted it to feel like a regency novel (hence the marriage troubles and the duel) and the only person he could realistically duel would be Ulder and I couldn't find a reason for them to duel over Astarion so it had to be an oc (emmaline). Everything was plotted out in both directions from that endpoint. As much as i like cult logic I felt like the plot left something to be desired and I wasn't able to explore everything I wanted to with the plot's random time constraint so i wrote the familiar risk almost immediately afterward 😆

The best advice about engaging plots I've received was from pixar writers which was "find out what a character finds most important or relies on and take that away". You'll notice this happens almost constantly in the familiar risk. What Astarion values most is the safety Wyll provides and Astarion loses him twice, once at the midpoint and then again at the end. What Wyll values most is his ability to hide/mask, and that is gradually eroded throughout the entire plot. Not just the tensest moments, but also the most emotional plot beats and the closest moments to a character's heart revolve around those dynamics.

Character writing

For me characters serve the plot, not the other way around, even in fanfiction. Everything serves the plot and even though I've softened with time to value emotional beats and quieter moments, I will always operate to some degree with plotplotplot on the mind.

Therefore their differences in cult logic vs familiar risk suit the story that I wanted to tell and when I started to write them I fell into a familiar risk "feeling". Astarion's endpoint in TFR is kind of a little further along from where he is in CL but for me they exist in that same timeline where he starts off as horrible starved spawn gremlin ~> actual loving person who can put others first. So for me he has unique parts to both fics but he's the same guy in my head.

Wyll is different in both fics to an extent. I think cult logic wyll was very rattled by his father being tortured which is why he falls into the subservience. I was still learning to write Wyll so I wasnt 100% sure on him yet. TFR wyll is tough as nails he's like a noir detective 🕵️‍♂️ frankly he is not super canon compliant anymore (i would argue he is he just takes a different selection of canon traits than those usually favoured in fanon).

Ulder is starkly different between two fics. When i was writing cult logic someone left a comment like:

"I may be wrong but I think Ulder is drowing in so much guilt and Wyll not getting angry at him and always forgiving him does not help so he escalates in hope to get Wyll finally get angry and punish him."

And i was like FUCKKKK.

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

And after that I posted the last few chapters of cult logic but it was worming away in my brain like FAWK.

I genuinely felt so gutted for this poor guy. Poor ulder. So i wanted to write something where he could be the good guy.

Structurally also ulder needed to be a good guy a) because wyll goes through so much in TFR and b) so that functionally Astarion has someone to lean on post-canon. If, in TFR, Wyll returned home after the climax to an ulder that was stiff and unforgiving... yeesh !

Hope that all makes sense ! Thank you for the ask and the opportunity to talk :)

[inkspottie]

heya spottie! just a few questions i had fizzing around my brain, sorry for hanging around like a bad smell, i just want to get things accurate D:

So, am i right in thinking that you consider re-writes to be the same story, but if one or two things were different? (eg, writing a story but adding an oc to the mix) Would the same events and characters but in different situations (cough, swap au, cough) be different or would you still consider that a re-write? (essentially, what im asking is 'can i put swapped aus in a same scene as their normal counterparts?')

..sorry if any of this was already covered, but would any of the gang chase a toy around like a little kitten? (i didnt wanna say sadao, but... sadao??) this question totally isnt because i like writing crack. totally. im totally not wanting to write seb going 'aw sadao's so cute- AHH HE JUST SHREDDED THAT PIECE OF STRING JESUS-'.

and one last thing... do you like 4th wall breaks?

Hello! And no worries you’re not bothering me! (If I don’t answer I’m probably busy/sleeping/or packing rn lol)

But yes rewrites are when you take something of mine and then add something to it but completely take my plot (aka a what if scenario like what if Gabriel found Sadao earlier in the game but still had all the events happening that I came up with)

But a role swap is a bit more tricky. I’d say you could have the same plot happen but because of all the characters being switched around I’d think it would be fine? As long as it’s not word for word my own dialogue and stuff I have. Like if you just kept Gabriel saying what Sebastian says and does (since it’s a role swap). If that makes sense? So think it would be fine, as long as you acknowledge that this is still my creation just tweaked a little bit? Idk I just don’t want people to take my characters and run with them I had it happen before when I first started writing stuff (back in the bendy fandom) and I am just weary of it now.

As for playing with toys, I think yeah Sadao probably would be the one? His instincts are the ones that hold his mind the most, they send him in a trance a sort of hunter’s dream and it’s hard for him to control. But he gets very embarrassed about it afterwards.

And fourth wall breaks? Love em, did them all the time with Laughing at Tragedy with LolBit so xD

[oubliette-odette]

The Reluctance of Love Pt. 25

Look who's baaaaaccccckkkk.

I've written a few chapters ahead so that it will hopefully help me to stay on top of this story and not fall behind....again.

But life loves to be silly and change our plans, so let's hope we can stay consistent this time.

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 Content Warnings: unhealthy parent dynamics All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Altan POV

I looked back down at my breakfast and was resigned to starve. I had no appetite. Not since I woke up with the vial missing. My hand consistently reached for my chest to hold it and found nothing there, leaving me feeling hollow and heavy inside. Where had I misplaced it? My father had insisted I bathe and change last night after our conversation, and I took great care to place it where it wouldn’t get lost.

I wasn’t stupid enough to not suspect my father, especially seeing how pleased he was this morning. This playing nice was all some sort of act, but I also didn’t doubt that the Lady of Triel was a means to handle our - or should I say his - debts. I wouldn’t abandon my brothers so carelessly. I would do what I needed to, to satisfy the masses and then if the gods be willing, I would disappear and I would find Drunrag

Which meant I needed that vial.

But even without the vial, I had to trust that he was still alive. I would know, wouldn’t I? I would feel something change in me if he were gone? But he and I weren’t connected anymore, maybe I was being dramatic for thinking there was something still holding him to me. I ran my hand through my hair and siged. My mind was racing too fast to keep up.

“You are not feeling well?” My father asked from across the table.

I looked up and met his eyes. I couldn’t read him. Was it truly concern I was reading in his voice? Or was there an edge to it?

I stuttered to speak, “I-I…I’m not feeling totally myself this morning.” I admitted. “Perhaps I should get some fresh air?”

My father was silent as he in turn studied me, read me. It seemed we were both still playing the game of guessing who was a step in front of whom.

“We’ll be leaving to return to Berdusk shortly, the Duke and Lady Allara are waiting for us.”

“Isn’t Berdusk days away?” I asked, before realizing that I actually had no idea where we were.

My father’s mouth tweaked at my question, “You recall how you came here through a portal, yes?”

I gave him a curt nod, “Yes, yes I remember. Then let’s just skip the meal and be done.” I pushed the food away from me and folded my arms indignantly. I was ready to be out of my father’s direct gaze.

He waited to answer before giving a short nod. “Very well. I will inform the hunters.”

“How is it that the Hunters work for you?” I asked. I knew it was unlikely that I would get an honest answer, but I had to at least try.

“The Hunters and I have a common goal, or shall I say, a common enemy.” He said, he dabbed a napkin across his lips before rising to his feet. “As long as our goals remain the same, we hold a partnership with each other that requires no monetary cost.”

“I see.” I said. 

“Shall we, then?” He asked, gesturing to the door out of the kitchen.

I said nothing, but led us out through the door. I spared a glance down to see if I caught the vial on my father’s person, but as I suspected, it would not be so easy to find.

“Looking for something?” My father asked. His eyes were narrowed.

I met them with a vacant expression. “Nothing of real interest.”

We followed the path back down the stairs to the underground maze of caverns and tunnels. It was confusing, and we were met with a cloaked Hunter who led us through in torchlight to the same large cavernous room. There were a trio of Hunters already in the room, drawing symbols within a circle on the ground. 

We watched silently as the portal opened like a maw in the middle of the air, centered above the magic ring. The space within was blurred and unfocused and shimmered like water, but revealing a landscape much different than the current dank room we were in.. It was a curious form of magic, but also fascinating. 

My father once again let me take the lead and I stepped through with him behind me. I felt a rush of vertigo that time and I forced my eyes shut as I waited for the sensation to pass. When I opened my eyes, we were standing in the Great Hall of Berdusk.

“Easy enough.” My father announced, smiling congenially as the portal winked closed behind us.

Business resumed almost immediately and a guard rushed towards us from the edge of the room. “Your Grace, a message for you.”

It was nothing more than a scrap of paper. I tried to read from the corner of my eye, I had only the chance to read a few words before my father slipped the paper into his robes.

Your Commander is not loyal. 

“Hmmm, a beautiful morning indeed.” My father breathed out. He looked down at me with a grim smile, “Shall we go meet your fiance?”

“I’d actually like to freshen up first.” I said, before clearing my throat, “I…I’d like to be looking my best.”

He nodded, “Of course. On your way, then, try to be quick, son.”

I bowed my head solemnly. “I know what is expected of me.” I turned and began the descent down the stairs and out of the room. 

As I stepped out I quickened my pace and raced towards my quarters, but not before a hand grabbed me and pulled me into a small hallway.

“What are you doing here?” Selhar’s face was panic-stricken and frantic. “Where is he?”

“Selhar?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

He shook his head, “No, you’re not supposed to be back here. He promised me he would keep you safe.”

“You’re not making any sense.” I said, and I grabbed his shoulders, trying to still his shaking body. “Selhar, what are you talking about?”

“Your…your partner. The orc. He promised me that he would try to keep you safe. I believed him. Why are you back?” 

I had never seen such extreme emotion on his face in a long time. Not since our mother’s passing, and I felt the jump in my own heartbeat as I looked back at him. “He…He’s.” I sighed. “I don’t know where he is, Selhar. I think father has him.”

“Where?” 

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“I hate him.” Selhar said, his voice came out like a hiss. “I hate him so much.”

The hallway was somber as I let my brother’s words hang between us. My mother and I had failed to protect him from the cruelties of Duke Hilmar, and the guilt that I didn’t even know what my brother had been going through suddenly overwhelmed me. This wasn’t just about me and Drun. This conflict ran much, much deeper.

“Listen, Selhar.” My voice was soft, “I’m not giving up yet.”

He shook his head,  “But he’s brought you back here twice. You won’t be able to leave now.”

I nodded, “I know. But maybe you can help me?”

His eyes widened. “How?”

“I need you to get in touch with Commander Gideon. Tell him that father suspects him of treason. If he can, I need to meet with him as soon as possible.”

“Is that all?” He asked.

I thought for a moment, then continued. “I think father has something that belongs to me. A glass vial with red liquid inside. If you can find it somehow, I need that back. And don’t let the Duke find out.”

He nodded, a small wry smile formed on his face. “I’m the middle child, Altan, father doesn’t pay attention to me unless he’s mad at me. It will be easy.”

“He’s waiting for me. I have to meet my…fiance” We both grimaced at that. “I’ll find you after that.”

He nodded and turned to go.

“Selhar.” I said as he was about to leave. “I’m sorry for whatever he’s done to you.”

He shook his head, “It doesn’t matter if we’re able to stop him.” And then he turned to go. 

There were a set of guards outside my room as I approached it. I felt the small pit in my stomach tighten as I approached them. 

“I assume you were sent by my father?”

They nodded. 

I rolled my eyes and forced my most petulant voice.. “I won’t meet with anyone until I am clean from my travels. Would you be kind enough to get someone to start my bath?”

“Young lord…” One of them began.

“Please.” I bemoaned. “And if I come out of here with you both still here, I’m reporting you to my father, he’s waiting on me, which means he’s waiting on you.”

I didn’t wait for an answer and strode into my room where everything was as exactly as I had left it. Strange to believe that it had not even been a week since I had left. So much had happened. I hoped my whining was good enough to get rid of the guards at my door. And I hoped that Commander Gideon would arrive in time for him to not be seen by them.

I paced, thinking over everything. 

This was what I knew at that point.

The first, that my father had an arrangement with the Red Hunters that meant they had a mutual goal that enabled them to work together so long as that mutual goal remained. I didn’t know what that goal was, but perhaps if I could find out what it was, I could use that to my advantage.

Secondly, I knew Drunrag was being held somewhere as leverage for me to obey and listen to my father and I also believed he possessed the vial as added leverage, but my father was holding that information from me until absolutely necessary should I misbehave again.

Third, there were spies within the Great Hall who had informed my father of Commander Gideon as an enemy to my father’s goals. I wasn’t certain if these spies were part of the deal with the Red Hunters, or separate, but it was important to note that I couldn’t trust anyone at this point besides Gideon, Doxxah, and Selhar.

Lastly, a portion of my father’s debt relied on me uniting with Lady Allara. The consequences of not doing so were unclear, and I also didn’t know if it played into the arrangement with the Red Hunters. But I could only hope that it was the case, since all of the details seemed so close together.

I didn’t know how to connect all of the details yet. I was never the most clever, though the gods know I tried to be. I only knew that I had multiple things I needed to see happen before Drunrag and I could be together again.

The first, was to prevent Commander Gideon from being arrested or blamed for treason and perhaps reveal the moles within the guards’ ranks. He was my greatest asset and ally with influence and rank.

Second, my arranged marriage had to be stopped and if I was lucky, I could incite problems with deals my father has with the Red Hunters that would help with my third, and perhaps most important goal which was to stop whatever other plans my father has. I needed to prevent him from ever doing something like this ever again. Perhaps it was time the Hilmar name faced the consequences and no longer be in power.

I was deep in thought when I heard a knock at the door.

My heart leapt the same time I sprung to my feet and raced for the door. I cracked it open and let out a breath when I saw the towering figure of Commander Gideon . There was no sign of anyone else.

“Quick. Inside.” I said and released the door.

The Commander slid into the room, an impassive look on his face. I was about to close the door when Selhar grabbed the door and followed in. “Not without me.” He said quietly, but the determination in his voice was not to be dismissed.

“Did anyone see you?” I asked.

They both shook their heads.

“We don’t have much time. My father is about to have guards on me again and I don’t know if we’ll have another chance like this.”

“I understand the Duke has marked me as untrustworthy.” Gideon said. “Much gratitude to you for warning me. I am in your debt.”

I bowed my head, “You are my ally, and selfishly I must admit I cannot do this without you.” I turned to Selhar, “Either of you.”

“Where is the young orc?” The Commander asked.

“Somewhere imprisoned by my father. I believe with the Red Hunters? I do not know the location, only that is resides underground.”

“Red Hunters?” The Commander and Selhar exchanged glances at one another, eyes wide. “Gods helps us.”

“Commander, I believe you need to disappear before you are intercepted by the Duke.” It was unfamiliar to me to be so commanding to another, but the commander eye’s were locked with me, listening intently. “I don’t know what I’m doing, so I trust you to guide me.”

“Ask me what you wish, young lord and it will be so.”

Selhar nodded, “And me.”

I looked between them and let out a sigh. “If I only I knew.”

“Do you have a plan?” Selhar asked.

“Only the beginnings of one.” I said. “I don’t know if it will work. But it’s the only plan I have left.”

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@eltrolodecadadia

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[itisme-rosie]

-- left unlocked; an au wherein beatrice decided to explore the world and as much as your mind wished to follow, your heart was rooted in the convent you were raised in.

cw: angst!! written with female!reader in mind; mentions of religious themes; reader who grew up in the convent and is questioning everything about herself and her feelings for bea; tried very hard not to include spoilers shown to me by tiktok edits (hold your horses i'm still about to start the 3rd episode of the 1st season).

[ hello, warrior nun fandom, please take me in i've been tweaking over kty for weeks now. ]

masterlist | rules

i fell in love with her here.

surrounded by stone walls and wooden pews, crucifixes and images of saints, and the aching reminder that in the world i was so immersed in, to be different was to be a sheep lost in the wilderness.

could it truly be a sin? i ask myself, hand fisted around the cross on my neck, head turned to the sky as if it would give you an answer - hoping, praying, begging.

could it truly be a sin to love?

soft, hesitant footsteps cut through my thoughts, until they stop. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 seconds pass with no sound of movement and i slowly turn. there she was. sister beatrice. beatrice. just bea when we're alone, i could hear her voice in my head.

"hello," i say simply, smiling at her. a terse silence surrounds the open space we were in, a tense smile crossing her lips.

"hello," beatrice returns the greeting and i let my eyes rake down the unfamiliar clothes she wore.

"are you going somewhere?" i ask, my smile wavering when she glances down at her shoes, "are you accompanying lilith on her trip - beatrice?"

she avoided my eyes. i didn't like that, i didn't like it one bit.

"i'm going on my own trip," beatrice explains in a matter-of-fact tone, the same one she uses when she explains something i know i know but pretend not to, just wanting to hear her.

no, no, no. i blink a few times as though it would rid my mind of the conflicting emotions, the unfamiliar feelings that burst in my stomach and send inexplicable bouts of happiness throughout my body. it didn't, of course. it never did.

"a trip," i parrot, dragging out the last word in a silent request to clarify.

"i'm leaving the convent,"

the fluttering in my stomach stops abruptly.

"leaving?"

"not forever,"

"leaving to go where? i thought -" i pause, shaking my head.

"not for forever," she repeats, "i'll come back,"

"that isn't what i asked, sister,"

i knew the title bothered her when beatrice didn't answer, producing a sweater from her bag and holding it out to me, slowly stepping closer, "hold on to it, a guarantee that i'll come back - and i will come back for it, so take care of it 'til i return, please,"

ever the obedient servant to all, i take it in my arms, hugging it close to me.

"but you could come with me," her voice was quiet, but i heard it clear as day and my stomach lurches and not in the way that it fluttered and made me a laugh.

"i can't leave, you know that," i shake my head, "besides -" i hug the sweater tighter against me, "- i'll be here when you get back, no matter how long,"

"what if i don't come back?"

the way my stomach clenches is painful. "then we have no reason to continue our friendship,"

"why?"

"i made a commitment to the church, bea - sister - beatrice," i clear my throat, "i'm not interested in keeping communications with people who cannot help me fulfill that commitment open - i won't stand for it,"

"would you rather we just end the friendship now, then? close all communications so i don't have any other reason to stay and come back?"

no, no, no. of course i wanted to go with her. my bones, my eyes, my curious mind, only surrounded by the stone walls of the convent longed to be fed by the world beyond it. but my heart, my poor, stubborn heart clung to the idea of the convent and its people as my home. without them, i wasn't myself.

i stiffen slightly, glancing down at the cloth in my arm and a half-hearted scoff leaves my lips.

"fine," i spit angrily. at least i hoped i sounded angry. i hoped i sounded hurt enough that beatrice would decide to stay if only to not hurt me, "consider this as me closing all communications with you, forever,"

bea blinks once, twice, three times. "forever?" she asks quietly and my mouth suddenly feels dry. i swallow thickly, nodding.

"from the second you walk out of the convent doors - away from me, then yes, yes, they will stay closed forever,"

"really?"

i don't think anything can compare, neither can anything properly describe how much my heart hurt when she turned with her bag away from me, not even waiting for an answer.

but the short, real answer was yes. yes, the door will stay closed the second she walked out.

the longer, real answer was that the door wouldn't even be locked. the longwinded explanation was that i would be waiting with the door unlocked, just in case, holding the sweater she left and the broken pieces she didn't even know she left. i would wait come hell or high water for her to turn the knob and walk in again.

the other short answer would be the reminder that even if the door locked itself one day, she always had the spare key.