#Mud Butt

[vintage-tigre]

[pat1dee]

Wrap around “Weirdworld” cover for

Marvel Super Special #11

Art by John Buscema

[starrodent]

i put them in a place

[feyver]

by the way, this is something i've not seen mentioned before but i notice every time.

is he wearing butt pads? or something? forgive me for staring, but i've never thought this looked natural lmaoo. when he's over arthur's shoulder earlier in the ep, you get a pretty good view and its definitely less... pointy. i just can't figure out why they would make him wear something there?

(ep 4x06)

[pearl-crystals]

Doodle Medley :)

Some doodles I've got! I've been drawing a lot but I never share em on here! I've really gotten into Mario and Rabbids and I mostly cannot stop drawing the rabbids and the wardens (mostly Woodrow.)

Ive got a huge surplus of doodles so I hope you enjoy! I hope to draw a few of these bigger! If not, I'm pretty content on how they've turned out :)

Only two of these pictures are based off a tiktok! I am pretty certain you'll be able to tell which one hahaha.

Im adding a read more just because of how many doodles there are. But I hope you enjoy em as much as I do! C:

This should be end of the doodles for now! Hope you enjoyed em! :)

[tincan-tophat]

Went on a deep dive of watching a bunch of different versions of TTO. And I found a version that’s marked as for kids, like you can’t put it in miniplayer or comment or anything, and for the most part it is censored, and the actors don’t look older than like… 14? But they kept the “but that’s okay ‘cuz you’ll probably get laid by your mom and dad and little kids too ‘cuz you all have to share the same bedroom” 😦

[puppetbilly]

guy whose drawing tablet stops working the second he tries to draw on it

[crowempress]

My cat got my GOOD with his claws today when I had to bathe him (he had doodoo ass) and I'm SO worried abt it getting infected bc his paws were all muddy and they went in deep and hard enough that the puncture wounds are badly bruised so 😬

[tama-the-toe]

What If Florida Had Its Own Olympics?

[sassyandclassy94]

Can we also take another moment to imagine Neal (in this case Baelfire) as one of King David’s soldiers, coming off the battlefield all muddied and bloodied? Like this?

Cause ain’t nothin hotter than a man in historical and fantasy clothing covered in mud and blood because he just survived your version of Agincourt or the War of the Roses

[bluebeads-art]

2024 November 21st

INTO THE LAKE WITH YOU, MUD CHILD

My part of a retroactive art trade with @anxiousapplepie ! "Retroactive" because I was already drawing this before we agreed to make it part of a trade, heheh. December 2nd edit: BEHOLD!... THEIR HALF OF THE TRADE... Eleven whole pages of trade!! Go read it go read it go read it

I read this post about their Role!Swap AU, and, like, multiverse shenanigans? Check. Characters goofing off and having fun? Check. Several opportunities for slapstick humor? Check. Conclusion: I really wanted to draw it. Physical comedy is my specialty. :p

This thing is kinda all over the place composition wise (looking at you, relative sizes of speech bubbles) because there is Too Much going on in these panels and I Did Not plan ahead of time, lmao. This was supposed to be doodlier than it ended up being, so as a growing pain it's a funny jumble of consistency. One of these days I'll be able to doodle without getting carried away. 😂

More rambling and close-ups under the cut

This interaction in particular is what nudged me over the edge to draw this whole thing. I don't know what Fighter Mirabelle's malfunction is when it comes to the Siffrins, but it lets me make Sif the butt of a joke again, so yeehaw! His hat being catapulted out of frame made me laugh when I was thinking of what to do with the composition-complicating hat in question.

Also my personal take is Siffrin is 100% having the time of their life here. Making new(?) friends? Being involved in a fun group activity? Well worth inhaling some puddle water and having to go jump in The Lake to wash the mud off later.

Bonnie being so furious they changed art styles wasn't in my original plan, but I'm so glad I thought of it on a whim because it made me laugh Every Time I looked at their face. 😂

Time taken on this whole thing was 42 hours and 50 minutes. AND. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS BAD. IF YOU KNOW I'M TRYING TO SPEED UP MY ART PROCESS. But this project gets a special pass. This was the farthest out of my art comfort zone I've been in a while! 13 (mostly) full-body characters at various complicated angles, 2 backgrounds, learning to use CSP's perspective rulers, effects I'm not used to like water splashes, etc etc. I made progress on speeding up sketching & line art as well! Some of the lines you see are just extremely cleaned up sketch. I was able to let myself fudge things more too. For example, Mira's dress is a very "dude just trust me" simplification because I don't know how the clothes folds would work at that angle. ^^;;

So while there's still a handful of things I'm not happy with, it's worth it for the learning experience and perfectionism-busting progress! Also for the sake of drawing silliness, of course.

Oh, lastly; the KO sprite is the one from in-game, so it was made by insertdisc5 and not me.

[notmuchtoconceal]

yeah, man. sometimes if ya don't proactively take control of how others perceive you, they'll just stick ya in the angry white man box and turn all your words into diarrhea by interpreting them through their bullshit.

clean and uncut here, folks. don't have any fascination with feces.

[velnoni]

just like the other ask i love love love! ur interpretation of ford. i need more almost religiously. can we have more hcs involving romance and maybe a little nsfw stuff?

Romantic Ford Headcanons

ask and ye shall recieve.

Will absolutely flush if you kiss his hand, especially in public. He finds something like that mischievous, but lowkey will not complain, merely grumble softly to himself. Morning kisses are a bonus and have helped him adjust to a more slow paced life.

Pet names. Perhaps a shortened version of your name if your name is long enough. My dear, honey, handsome/beautiful. In his journal, he'll refer to you as the love of his life.

Head scratches or foot/back massages. Both of you, when overworked, appreciate them so so much. Ford will greatly appreciate it when you coax him out the lab, into your lap, and run your hands through his peppered hair. He makes a noise stuck between a groan and sigh, and in no time, his breathing evens out. When he does it for you, he will often offer it after a crappy day at work. Cue the extra fingers working magic and applying pressure in all the right places.

It could be said he can make edible meals, but he's no Gordan Ramsey. So when he comes home to you making a home cooked meal, he can't help but fall for you harder. To be able to sit down, eat, and not worry if the food is poisonous...it's enough to make a grown man cry. His favorite recipe might be a spaghetti dish.

Get this man some jelly beans, and he'll be a happy lad.

Play any nerd board with him and Dipper, and you will see his eyes turn into hearts, which should be physically impossible. Finds your facial expression cute when you're stuck on something.

Stargazing on the roof of the Mystery Shack is a must, and he never gets tired of speaking of the stars with you. When you told him about the new horoscopes that sparked a new conversation.

Expedition dates are great, but local diner hangouts always feel more intimate with you. Ford may or may not have stolen a french fry if you weren't looking...perhaps Stan is rubbing off on him.

It's not something you know, but once considered, finding out a way to allow you to see colors humans normally can not perceive like Bill once did for him. But ultimately decided against it.

Random gifts from Ford can range from receiving a flower, clothes that don't stain, or a new creature he found in the wild.

*nsft under the cut

Surprisingly quite sensitive. If you rake your nails against his skin, he'll shiver and try to push you off. But keep doing it, and you'll get a whimper out of him.

If you kiss each finger, naming what you like about him or how you'll screw the daylights out him alongside licking them, please expect said fingers inside of you tonight.

He likes grabbing you by the waist and might give a teasing squeeze if feeling brave. He's smug when he does so. On days when you're both alone, you might feel him wrap his arms around you with a little surprise pressing up your backside. Will always ask for permission to go forward.

The kind of person to see you doing something in your natural habitat and get aroused from it. Reading a book? Biting a pen? Covered in mud from helping Mabel with her garden that was raided by suspiciously handsome men with gnomes riding them? He finds it unbecoming of a scientist to fall folly to such primal instincts but will grab your hand when you're alone and stare at you with a slight desperation.

Kiss sessions can go for a good while with some groping. He prefers to be in control, but if you whisper for him to lay beneath you and say his full name, you'll have the old man putty in your hands. Nibble on his ear and that'll earn you six fingered smack on the butt. His ears are really sensitive you've realized...suspiciously so.

If you point that out and keep asking, Ford might one day ask you to stick your tongue in his ear. And if you ever do this while palming his erection in his pants he'll cum early much to his embarrasment. He could never live down the shame but will always come back for more.

He's a fan of blowjobs since they're easy to clean up and really enjoy when you give them to him at a slow pace. He likes the buildup. He doesn't mind returning the deed. He finds your expression and moans quite invigorating.

There's a slight possibility he might be into sounding. Don't ask how he figured that out but he's too shy to bring it up right now.

Praise kink. It's practically endless! Smart, handsome, gorgeous, sexy, silver fox, cutie pie, fantastic, how are you so good at this, good job, keep doing that, etc.

Likes watching/being watched while masturbating. Bonus points if you walked in on him. Once you did and he came like a hormonal teenager, face beet red and glasses cloudy.

Slow and steamy sex is something he prefers because he likes to watch you come undone under his watchful gaze but there are times where he'll feel spontaneous and rile you up throughout the day so you pounce him in privacy. Conniving fella. Have enough stamina to hold you up & hammer you against the wall but prefers a bed.

"Stanford..." You whispered in a low voice as you rearranged yourself behind him. Ford tensed at your voice, feeling his soul jump as your naked arms slide underneath his own, linking together against his chest. "Y-Yes, my dear?" He asks when he remembers to respond to you. He wanted to look at you, kiss your lips, taste you on his own, and have his hands roam every inch of your body. Especially considering your very naked body in question was pressed against his back side. But he didn't.

He steeled himself to your provactice antics and touched the buckle of his belt. He hears you chuckle into his ear, the softness of your lips when it makes contact with his earlobe. Then his cheek and the side of his neck where that wretched tattoo resided. Oh... He couldn't help but sigh and think mentally he was much too old for this. But as if you read his mind, you cupped the pompous bulge that was quite evident through his corduroy pants. You gave it a gentle squeeze and waited.

"More..."

"More what?"

His voice is now a whisper. His Adam apple rises as he swallows his saliva. "More, please." He could feel himself come undone when you call him a good boy. Tonight is going to be one of those nights.

[yanderenightmare]

TW: NSFW, dubcon/noncon, orcs, elf!reader, none of reader's holes are safe...

fem reader

Orc master who loves making a cum-slut out of his pretty elf-slave...

Seeing your pretty face struggle to take the chub of his cock inside your mouth, your plump lips stretched and cheeks stuffed, gagging around him as he bullies himself down your throat until your little button nose gets buried in the curly hairs on his pelvis.

He’ll face-fuck you like a dog humps a pillow – kneeling over you with his thighs and legs cradling your head – knees pinning your hair to the ground while his heavy, sweaty ballsack slaps against your forehead as he ruts into your face, making it a sloppy spit-slicken mess.

Abusing your pretty elven cunt while at it, fanning his fat sausage fingers over your budding clit – smacking it when you cum – chortling gleefully when you scream around his shaft. Putting his tongue at your slit and slurping you up, making you quake under the intensity – overwhelmed and shaking beneath him.

You’re a wreck when he spurts, flooding your throat with a thick creamy load – making you gulp it down before he finally climbs off your face – strings of spit and egg-white slick sticking between you, snapping and clinging to your flushed skin where you pant for air.

He presses the fat bulge of his cockhead into your taut asshole with a grin. Pulling your pretty hair in a mean fist, barking at you to scream out how much you like getting your perky elven butt fucked by filthy orc cock.

And you listen – with streams of tears running quickly down your cheeks. Looking ruined with his spunk layered on your skin, sweaty and shivering, crying out, “Ah- yess- yea- love getting big orc cock- thank- ah- master, thank you-”

He’ll push your face down into the muck, pounding your ass with his weighty balls smacking against your weeping cunt – fast and hard enough to make you shake and cum again.

He'll put his dirty foot on your cheek, stomping your pretty face into the mud – smirking wide and lividly watching you beneath it, whining out pretty moans for him – mouth parted and tongue out – squealing with toes curled. 

Fucked dumb like a proper elven sex slave ought to be.

BNHA – Shigaraki, Dabi

JJK – Sukuna, Mahito

[lordprettyflackotara]

hitchhiker || the proxies || prologue

tw: mentions of murder

“Son of a bitch!”

Masky’s voice was hoarse under his mask, the muddy slope under him making him slide forward. A rough hand grasped his forearm, keeping him from falling. He glanced over his shoulder, Hoodies gloved hand wrapped around his mustard jacket. He glared at Toby as he slid down the muddy slope with glee, splashing mud onto his already tattered jeans. Masky’s eyes narrowed as he heard the familiar quiet giggles coming from under Toby’s mask.

“W-where are we?” Toby questioned. The three looked around, Masky’s memory the most hazy out of the three. Him being elected the leader made the least sense sometimes, considering how scrambled his brain was. “The butt fuck of no where is my guess,” Masky huffed. Hoodie looked in front of them a two way road the only sign of civilization. He turned to Masky, who was about five seconds away from a rage fit. “We need to find our way back to the mansion,” Masky sighed. He began walking along the side of the road, assuming Hoodie and Toby would follow.

“You’re not seriously proposing we walk back to civilization are you?” Hoodie asked plainly. Masky gritted his teeth, annoyance washing over him. “You got a better idea?” He snapped. Toby skipped in front of Masky, turning around to face him as he walked backwards. “We c-c-can hit-tchhike!” He said cheerfully. Masky and Hoodie exchanged looks, watching as Toby raised his arm by the road. He raised a thumb, his signature bloody axe thrown over his opposite shoulder.

“Anyone who willful picks us up has got to be a lunatic,” Hoodie muttered. A set of headlights appeared over the clearing, the older men’s eyes narrowing at the sight of your car. “Looks like we got ourselves a lunatic,” Masky grumbled.

“L-l-let me do all of-f-f the talking gentleman,” The younger proxy said. Toby skipped to the front of the car, Masky and Hoodie watching dumbfounded as you rolled down your window. “Do you think it’s because she thinks the kids cute?” Masky asked his partner. Maybe he hadn’t been around women so long that they overlooked blood soaked axes if someone was attractive enough. Hoodie elbowed him. “It’s Halloween, that’s why she’s not bothered,” Hoodie replied quietly. How could Masky have forgotten? Thats the entire reason they were able to complete their mission to begin with.

“You know the rules we can’t have witnesses, no matter how cute,” Hoodie whispered. Masky eyed you carefully, noticing your doe eyes and plump lips. You seemed to be wearing some sort of fairy costume, one that made your breast sit upright. Masky sighed. “Of course. We get in the car and let her drive for a bit. Gives us a break. Once we come to a stopping point we’ll make it short and sweet,” Masky told Hoodie. He gestured his head to the revolver in his jacket pocket, the outline shoving just ever so slightly. Toby came back around the car, waving for them to join him. “Dibsss o-on shotgun!” Toby cheered.

As Masky approached the car he gently shoved Toby towards the backseat. “Yeah right kid, take a seat,” He huffed. Masky slid into the passengers seat of the car, your lips curling into a bright smile. “Hi i’m y/n,” You greeted. Masky gave you a brief nod, the three of them settling into the car. You noted their silence, deciding to change the conversation. “So, where you guys needing to go?” You asked. You started the car again, driving down the windy road. It became apparent that you were intoxicated, your perfume not able to conceal the smell of alcohol. Masky would’ve questioned your ability to drive, if he cared to survive a possible crash.

Death would be a pleasant surprise, if Slender didn’t have EJ bring him back in time. The healing process would be a bitch. “Just back to town. We got lost partying in the woods,”Hoodie answered quickly. Every so often it impressed Masky how quickly his partner could lie on the spot. You nodded. “Well i’m glad I found you guys, Halloween can get pretty crazy,” You slurred. Masky watched cautiously as your eyes flickered into the rearview mirror, looking at Hoodie and Toby. If it were up to him he would have you drive the entire way, so he could relax his never ending storm of a mind.

“What are you three dressed up as? I’m Tinkerbell as you might’ve guessed,” You giggled. Unfortunately your talking and questions were starting to get on Masky’s last nerve. “Y-you ev-ver see the purge? We’re dressed like them!” Toby replied, his neck twitching ever so slightly. Masky refrained from audibly sighing. Toby’s neck only ever twitched like that when he genuinely enjoyed talking to someone. He needed the kid to not get attached to you. Would only make the disposal process harder. And trust him, no one chops up a body like Toby does.

“Thats cool, definitely unique masks you guys have. Can I touch?” You asked innocently. You reached over to Masky, your fingertips threatening to graze his mask. The brunette could feel himself growing angry, his mask the one possession he could not allow to be touched. Hoodies loud coughing stopped your motion, your hand frozen as you glanced back in the rearview mirror. “Are you okay?” You asked cautiously. Masky sighed in relief as you retracted your hand. Hoodie continued fake coughing, giving you a thumbs up with one of his gloved hands.

The games and chit chat were growing old. Maybe if they were normal men, who actually were coming from a Halloween party, you’d be enjoyable. Maybe one of them would be lucky enough to take you home and fuck your brains out in that slutty Tinkerbell costume of yours. But they weren’t normal men and none of them were lucky. “He’s fine, just has bad a-a-asthma,” Toby explained, patting Hoodies shoulder. Masky could see Hoodie subtly cringe at the sensation of physical touch. He despised anyone touching him. “I have asthma too! Hang on I think I have an inhaler in the glovebox,” You replied.

You made a slow left on the windy road, the city lights slowly coming into view from a far. “Hey do you mind grabbing the inhaler from the glovebox?” You asked Masky. He did as instructed, clearing his throat as he handed the inhaler back to Hoodie. It was a subtle signal that they needed to get on with disposing of you. They were close enough to the city now. “Welllll you guys don’t seem like big talkers so i’ll play some music. Is that okay?” You asked. Toby nodded profusely. Music always made the kid overly excited. Masky began to reach in his coat pocket, his revolver always loaded and ready to go. He could feel his metal wrapped around the metal, itching with anticipation.

Your fingertips pressed the center console, turning on a tune Masky hadn’t heard in a long time. The Smiths filled his ears, the lead singers voice soothing. He glanced in the rearview mirror, Hoodie’s head beginning to twitch to the left. Shit, Brian’s gonna be fronting. Masky’s gaze landed on Toby, whose leg was jumping up and down front excitement. This band reminded Hoodie too much of his previous life, triggers like those allowing Brian to front earlier than expected. Masky sighed as the chorus came on, his jaw beginning to clench as an all too familiar pounding began in the front of his temple.

Brian could see Masky’s switch, his hand rubbing his temple as it always did when Tim was about to front. Tim blinked a few times, his breathing feeling suffocated under his mask. His hand slid out of his jacket, leaving his revolver inside. He quickly shoved his mask off, fear washing over him with the realization as to what he just did. Not only could they not have witnesses, but they most certainly could not let anyone who saw their faces walk away alive. Tim shot Brian a worried look, Brian quick to shove off his ski mask. As The Smiths played in the background Tim cleared his throat.

“I’m Tim by the way, and he’s Brian,” He said. He pointed at Toby with him thumb over the seat. “And I’m sure Toby has introduced himself,”

How could they get out of this without killing you?

How could they get out of this without killing you?

How could they get out of this without killing you?

You smiled drunkenly, Tim noticing your slight curve when driving. “Do you guys want to stop by waffle house?” You asked. Toby went to immediately agree, Brian’s hand flying over his mouth. “Maybe some other time, we have uh, work tomorrow,” Brian answered. Toby shoved his arm away, Brian struggling to keep his hand over the younger man’s mouth. “Bummer. I should probably go home too. Works such a bitch,” You sighed. Tim was trying to listen to you, he really was. But all he could think about was how he was going to have to order your execution. To arrange your meeting with death himself.

His brown eyes flickered to Brian’s in the rearview mirror, who were silently awaiting his instruction. Tim knew his partners expectation, but as he looked over at you, he just couldn’t do it. As you drove into the city you hummed along to the song, your fingers tapping along the steering wheel to the beat. Tim couldn’t put his finger on why exactly he was determined to let you go. Maybe it was his morality that surfaced when he immediately switched. Maybe it was how tired he truly was. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept. Whatever it was, something about you called to him. That calling involving you being alive.

The city lights were mixtures of purples and yellows, illuminating the inside of the car. “Can you pull over at the gas station up here? We live nearby,” Brian interjected, ruining the silence. You nodded, turning on your blinker and driving over to the right lane. Tim didn’t want to leave just yet, resentment of Brian’s words washing over him as you parked the car. “Well here we are,” You say. It wasn’t hard to see you were still drunk, your eyes glazed over. Tim couldn’t help but conclude your intoxication was the only reason you were so calm.

“Thanks for the ride, appreciate it,” Brian said, sliding out of the backseat. Tim listened to the car door slam, slowly taking off his seatbelt. Toby followed his lead. “B-b-bye beautiful!” He said, retreating from the car. Tim gave you a brief glance. He was doing the right thing by sparing your life, right? He slid out of the car, grabbing his mask and shoving it into his coat. You rolled down your passenger window, giving them a wave. “I’ll see you guys around, right?” You asked. Something about the ominous three men was intriguing, a mystery seemingly dying to be solved.

“Most definitely,” Tim replied. He leaned down, propping his arms on the passenger door as he peered down inside of your car. “Seriously, thanks for the ride. If we run into each other again we’ll make up for it,” Tim offered. You smiled, the faintest flush of pink highlighting your cheeks. “I’d like that a lot,” You replied. Tim leaned away, giving you a wave.

“Goodbye Y/n.”

“Goodbye Tim.”

With that you drove away, leaving Tim standing beside Brian and Toby. “You let her go?” Brian questioned. Tim dug into his pants, digging out a box of cigarettes. “Just like that?” Brian continued to questioned. Tim shrugged, bringing a cigarette to his lips. “No sense in killing her. She did us a favor,” He replied blandly. He began digging around for a lighter, Toby furiously jumping in between them. “What?!?! Y-you guys-s-s wanted to kill her?” Toby gasped. Brian rolled his eyes. “Dont be so naive, she’s a witness and we leave no witnesses behind,” He informed him. Brian shot Tim a dirty look and added, “Especially after they’ve seen our faces.”

Tim was aware he was breaking about twenty different protocols by letting you go. He was also more than aware Toby could’ve taken care of you entirely, he wouldn’t have needed to be involved. But he wanted you to live. It was an odd sensation he had never truly felt before, raw craving for someone that came across their path to walk away scratch free. “How long are we stationed here?” Brian asked. Tim finally found his lighter, igniting the end of his cigarette. Once he inhaled he replied, “About another three months.”

Brian crossed his arms, both him and Toby trailing behind Tim as he began to stroll down the sidewalk. He exhaled through his nose, ignoring Brian’s dirty looks. “How exactly do you propose we avoid her for three months?” He asked. Tim rolled his eyes. “For starters there’s the entire possibility she’ll be too drunk to remember us anyways,” He began. He watched as Toby galloped ahead, his axe slung over his shoulder like always. Tim brought out his pack of cigarettes again, gesturing for Brian to take one.

“Besides her meeting us was a mistake. A girl like that doesn’t belong in our world. She’ll never see us again. We’ll be a drunken memory,” Tim insisted. Brian took a cigarette, a gesture that meant he was going to try to trust Tim on this. Tim flickered the lighter, igniting the end of Brian’s cigarette. Once Brian inhaled, the two continued walking.

“You just let her go because she’s cute huh?”

“Dude shut up.”

—> chapter one

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

I put a spell on you

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 4

Prompt: Mistletoe

Rated: T

Tags: Magic AU; Witch Eddie; Eddie Munson has a crush on Steve Harrington; Sexual tension; Pining; Flirting

Notes: Set in the same universe as Spellbound

“What are you doing up there?”

Eddie shrieks, losing his balance and nearly toppling off his branch. He rudders his arms through the air like some sort of idiot before he manages to right himself and grab the tree trunk for support.

“Jesus, Harrington,” he swears. “Did nobody teach you not to sneak up on people hanging in trees or do you want me to break my neck?”

“Sorry,” says Steve, even though he sounds anything but. He’s smiling, the stupid, smug bastard. Eddie hates how pretty it makes him look. “I don’t talk to many people hanging in trees, usually. Which brings me back to my question. What are you doing up there? Is it a magic thing?”

Eddie’s first impulse is to throw back a snide remark. He knows how the fine townspeople gossip behind his and Wayne's backs. The trailer park trash with the witch blood.

Except Steve has never called him that. Steve’s never been anything but polite to him, and even now, his eyes only hold curiosity as he watches Eddie scramble off the tree.

“Yes, it's a magic thing,” Eddie grumbles, dusting bark off his clothes and picking sticks from his hair. “I'm harvesting mistletoe. You don't usually find it around here, so when you see it, you gotta snatch it.”

Steve’s brow wrinkles. “What, really? Isn't it a bit early for that? It's hardly even April, and anyway, can't you just use the store-bought plastic stuff?”

“Wha-?” Eddie says.

He's a bit surprised there's no audible sound when it finally clicks.

“Oh God, no,” he blurts. “I'm not using it as a Christmas decoration. The berries go into potions and stuff.”

He fumbles around in his pocket until he finds the plastic container with his harvest, flipping open the lid. Steve eyes the small, white berries, eyebrows rising in astonishment.

“I didn't know you also made potions.”

“I don't,” Eddie says. “My uncle does, but you don't want him climbing any trees with his back and knees. You gotta be careful with your potion ingredients. A few too many of these babies and you'll kill a guy instead of curing his arthritis, or give him a massive case of mud butt at the very least. I ain't fucking with that. Spells and charms only for me.”

Steve stares at him, nose wrinkled in mild disgust. Eddie mentally slaps himself. He's been oddly rambly around Steve lately, and he doesn't even know why.

“Anyhow,” he says. “Something I can help you with, or-?”

Steve perks up.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” he says, reaching inside the collar of his sweater to pull out something on a leather string. Eddie’s heart jumps into his mouth. “Y'know this charm you made for me?”

“No refunds,” Eddie says automatically. “I told you I couldn't make Wheeler fall back in love with you if she doesn't have feelings for you anymore. I can only-”

“Amplify feelings that are still there,” says Steve. “I know. I'm not here to complain.”

Eddie blinks at him. “You're not?”

Steve shakes his head, averting his eyes and running a hand through the hair at the back of his head. Boyish. Bashful. Unbearably pretty.

“No, man. If anything, I think I should thank you. Things with Nancy have been going great.”

“But that can't be-” Eddie squawks. Bites his tongue. Clears his throat. “I mean … they have?”

Steve nods enthusiastically. “Oh yeah! She's really been coming around. I think this thing might actually be working.”

Eddie watches him twirl the small pouch between his fingers and needs to use all of his willpower to stop himself from blurting out the truth. That it can't be working. There's no way on earth it can be working.

Because Eddie’s a fraud. Because Eddie’s magic has been so watered down through the generations, is so thinned out and weak, he couldn't cast a functional spell if his life depended on it.

Also probably because the lock of hair in Steve’s charm isn't Nancy's, but Eddie’s. But he can't very well tell him that, can he? Not when Steve is standing in front of him with that big smile and that pretty pink blush on his face, looking so hopeful and in love it makes Eddie’s chest pull uncomfortably.

“-and she said she might be there, so I was wondering if maybe you could … I dunno, do a little extra?”

“I, um-” Eddie snaps back to the present, trying and failing to reconnect Steve's string of monologue to their previous conversation. “Sorry, what?”

Steve shakes his head at him, but his smile is kind.

“Heidi's birthday party next weekend? Nance said she might come, and I think that, if I play my cards right, I might …” He trails off and licks his lips, a thin sheen of moisture on pink skin. When his eyes meet Eddie’s again, they're hesitant. “I was hoping that, maybe, you'd know a way to increase my chances a little? Some sort of spell or whatever? I'd pay you, of course.”

Eddie knows he should turn him down. Make up some excuse, tell him he's busy. Better yet, tell him the truth. How there's no spell in the world that'll do what Steve is hoping to accomplish. How messing with people's emotions always comes back to kick you in the ass.

“Sure,” he says. “Swing my place tonight, I'll see what I can do.”

“Really?” Steve beams at him, bright like the sun. “Brilliant, thank you so much! Anything I should bring?”

“Just your fine self and the money,” Eddie says, pocketing the container with his berries and turning to go. “Oh, and I hope you're okay with dancing naked under the full moon?”

He really, really should stop this charade, sooner rather than later. It's hard, though, when Steve flushes and sputters like he does.

Maybe he'll keep it up just a little longer.

More holiday drabbles