#Mother's Day blizzard
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johnschneiderblog · 7 months ago
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April flurries? Ho-hum ...
In case we had forgotten the fact that spring above the 45th Parallel is always an iffy proposition, we got a brief, but robust, snow flurry Saturday morning at the lake.
No accumulation, but a reminder to never expect much from the vernal equinox which, as you my recall, came and went a month ago.
Saturday's weather event caused us to reminisce: the Mother's Day blizzard we experience one May near Charlevoix, the snowflakes that fell on the Fourth of July parade in the Upper Peninsula town of Paradise, where we vacationed for a few years ...
T.S. Eliot famously called April the cruelest month. But only if we expect it to behave like June.
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My mood is a little erratic today. I keep crashing. I'm trying to resist the urge to do shop therapy since I'm going to buy a mushroom blanket tomorrow as a birthday gift to myself.
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moondirti · 5 months ago
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𝐂𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑, 𝐈𝐈 [18+]
familiar! ghost × witch! reader
you are a witch trapped at home by a devastating blizzard. ghost is the demon that answers your call. ( 2 of 3 /PREV )
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DEAD DOVE. RATED E. HORROR EROTICA. 9K. – AO3 heed the warnings below and proceed at your own discretion.
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warnings: NONCON. graphic depictions of gore. injury. cannibalism. blood licking. slaughtering + ingesting animals. violence. degradation. body horror. hypothermia. isolation. manipulation. corruption kink. religious imagery. dark!ghost. female reader. i know i said 2 parts total but now it's a 3er.
additional tags: groping. tit fondling. rough oral (male receiving). face-fucking. cum guzzling + eating. it’s all a little disgusting and not in the good way i fear.
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𝐈𝐈.𝐈
The cottage is halfway buried under snow when you run out of firewood. 
It should come as no surprise, though you stare down your emptied closet like the ground opened up and swallowed your remaining reserve. Out of body, you fail to confront the cold reality that has already seeped into your walls, freezing the splintered wood of your floors, instead standing stock-still as your mind sharpens its critical edge. 
Only there is no one to direct your reproach to but yourself. Weeks ago, your rune casts had predicted a crippling whiteout, thus you set out to collect enough fuel to last you the season. Yet as night waxed on the third day of your efforts, and your hands started tearing bloody from splitting hardwood all on your own, that resolve debilitated rather quickly. Like sugar steeped in tea; your will to live was already in a decrepit state, and indeed, eagerly unravelled at the first sign of adversity. Suicidal, with hindsight. A passive play at death of which you were too fearful to try and seek for yourself. 
It did not seem like that at the time, of course. Rather, you justified the fatuous decision to stop (after cutting down a mere three trees) by concocting an estimate of how long it would be before you could venture out for more. Based on absolutely nothing but a desperation to curl back on your couch, sore but sheltered, you gave it one month. One month until the storm would abate. Of restlessness, fermenting in a prison you call home. To your distorted sense, four-hundred pieces of firewood seemed plenty enough to get you through it, despite admittedly lacking even a basic working knowledge of wood arithmetic.
Counting the days now, you’re almost tempted to laugh. Almost. The shroud of horror that newly accompanies death since Ghost’s lesson triumphs, after all. You are more terrified than you would have been a week ago. Still, you were not wrong – the firewood had lasted a month – only the weather does not seem to be looking up, and you’re trapped inside a quickly cooling cottage with no source of heat to get you to the thaw. The possibility of fatal hypothermia looms closer, more dangerous. Eerily relevant–
(Just a year ago, you watched a man die from the warmth of your ancestral home, face down in fresh snow outside the parlour room window. Your ageing mother had invited the pastor’s son over to help repair the stairs left unattended since your father’s death, and the man had called your fascination with the corpse morbid, nail between two teeth as he hammered down a wooden plank. 
No use starin’ at a dead man, lass. Not for a bonnie thin’ like you.
But you could not tear your eyes away from his mottled skin, the blue-black ends of his fingers. Even at his burial several days later, his face displayed the same, blank expression, perpetually cast by that winter’s frigid storm.) 
You imagine yourself passing in a similar vein. It will take longer, you think. You’ll be dying for weeks as your blood courses slower through you, iced by the winds that howl down your chimney. Protected, but not enough, by these walls you have been banished to live within. Unable to get even a glimpse of sunlight before shutting your eyes for the last time, the snow packed up to your windows effectively burying you without ceremony. A forgotten tomb. 
You wonder if Ghost would intervene, yet your speculation is brief. His words echo like he uttered them only moments ago. Fight or die. He has long established the volitional aspects of your relationship – he owes you nothing unless you ask, and if you do, then you would rather wish you were dead in lieu of what he asks for in return. No. He will merely watch as you take your last breath, satisfied that he was right, then scavenge your carcass for his next meal. Fated to wet his mouth like the picked off crow. A long-awaited feast.
Curling in on yourself, it is all you can do to bury yourself in clothes. Your vulnerability is often a fickle thing, you find, ebbing and flowing like seawater tides gradually gorging on their shore. There are periods you feel invincible; a being made of eternal magic, unmoved by the shifts in nature bid by time. Some sequoia, whose roots pierce deep into the earth and drink from freshwater wells unacquainted with human touch. A thing truly deserving of the title witch. 
Other times – these times being of increasing occurrence since the arrival of your familiar – you cannot help but to shrink back into a girl again. Raw and tender and emotionally volatile. Naked, sore lungs, as you’re pulled from your mother’s womb and forced to embrace the harsh cut of air. Ghost watches from his usual corner, a spectre practically pulsing with this voyeuristic game he likes to play. You know he’s figured out the predicament you’ve put yourself in, can feel yourself quailing at the discredit his judgement affords. The layers serve a dual purpose, then – for warmth, and to grant brief reprieve from his gaze on your shivering form. 
Three pairs of socks. A tunic, a fleece, a cardigan, and a coat. Skirts over your trousers. Gloves and a woollen hat. 
By the end, you have a hard time moving at all. Certainly not enough to cook, or to try tunnelling a way out of the window. No point in reading if you can’t practise your magic, either; so you mutter a quiet ignition spell over the charred firewood from last night, hoping it lasts even half as long, before collapsing on the couch and willing yourself to sleep. 
Only sleep does not come. 
Or, it might. Yet your mind is so occupied with your condition that it does not allow you to fully lose consciousness. You’re attuned to every particle around you, overstimulated in the worst sense, still subjected to an unsettling sequence of half-dreams. Brain flickering through pale mirages of dead crows, ice floes, of capsized rafts in arctic waters, their hulls resembling slabs of marbled meat. As you drown, you shout for help and pique at the sound of it echoing in real life, tangible enough that it shakes you awake. You nearly strangle yourself trying to wind your quilt tighter around your shoulders afterward, burying your nose in a pillow and cupping your cheeks with frigid hands. 
Eventually, time joins the distortion, and you have a hard time discerning whether it’s been hours or meagre minutes. The only indication is the way in which your body starts to ache with a pain so profound, it is as though you’ve been beaten. If you weren’t frustratingly cognizant of your surroundings the whole night, your first bet would have been to blame Ghost, or at least the threadbare couch you’ve been using as a bed erring too long now. Unfortunately, the true cause of your affliction is hard to misdiagnose; a violent, merciless shivering, your muscles made to tremble as if compelled to by electric shock. The teeth chattering kind – and it is exactly the rattle of ivory against ivory that serves as a makeshift timekeeper. 
Click. Click. Clickclick. Click. 
It must be two hours later when you bite your tongue and jolt completely awake from the pain, swathed in your quilt like the nesting doll that sat on your windowsill back home. Though the appendage bleeds, spreading metallic bitterness onto your teeth, you wonder for a brief moment whether you are alive at all. Foggy vision. Taut skin drawing lines down your cheeks from either corner of your eyes. When you squint, it tugs tighter, and you realise at one point you had started crying. It’s hard to tell without your nose hot and runny, or your lips swollen like overripe berries. Instead, you’re rendered to a shrivelled reflection of yourself, dried tear tracks setting the image in stone. The shadow looming above you seems to agree. 
“Not dead yet. But only just.”
You wish you could say his voice is any softer than standard. That the stars aligned, or that this is an ideal world where the antediluvian creature occupying your home has tapped into his small pool of pity. But he nudges your knee with all the detached amusement he prescribes to most things, like he can’t understand why you’re so easily affected by the cold. 
“Ghost?” 
“Almost exclusively.” He mocks.
The couch dips near your feet. You do not register why until he scoops an arm into your quilt, pulling you from warm refuge and onto his lap instead. It isn’t in you to fight, merely mewling like a feverish cat as you reach a hand out to the cushion where you once lay. Wiggling your fingers, kicking your heels. 
He swats your arm until it flops back to your side. 
“If only y’could see yourself like this. Bloody pathetic, pet.” 
“I’m c-cold.” 
“Not doin’ yourself any favours, then. This,” He tugs at the coat barely hugging your shoulders, stretched taut over your bulky layers. “off.” 
When you fail to listen, he takes the initiative for you, pulling it down your arms and towards some distant corner. You don’t miss it, necessarily – it hardly did anything to keep you warm – but you protest the loss as you would have done anything else; noisily, sniffing to suppress the fresh bout of tears spooling over your vision. 
“Think you exhausted every option, hm? All you can do is curl over and cry?” With his hands now at your cardigan, thumbs hooked under the lapel, you search his eyes for indication of what he intends to do. Ghost is difficult to appreciate even on the best of days, but now, without the handy glow of fire or direct stream of sunlight, he’s practically impossible. Like two mountains stood tall with no valley in between them, no line of logic exists that can explain his actuality. 
(And you’ve never been the logical type – there is no precise science to why goat fat and cumin work together to lure someone into love, or why you knew to stay away from the pastor who kept your mother company. Some things exist solely in magical proportions; limiting yourself to rational thought would be doing a great disservice to what they have to offer.
But confronting Ghost on a plane where he has the upper hand is a daunting task, so you stick to what rationale can place.) 
“What are you–you doing?” 
“Shut it.” He folds the cardigan around your hips, clasping a colossal palm onto the back of your neck. Though you’re used to being scruffed when he’s less than pleased with you, the purpose of this is far from dissatisfaction. You know it immediately. His skin, flesh, is warmer than anything you’ve felt in a long time. A quality of comfortable, penetrating heat that sinks into your nape and slowly works to defrost your marrow, your limbs, the icy film clinging to your brain. Your eyes roll shut almost instantaneously, body slumping forward to sink into his chest. Somewhere in the recesses of your mind, where the relief of warmth has not yet reached, you worry that he’ll push you off. 
He does not. 
Instead, his other hand slips under your fleece and tunic, smoothing over the knots of your spine to reach between your shoulder blades. There, his heat sinks to swathe your chest, and the weakly heart somehow managing to do its job, pumping blood that tickles your toes and fingertips. It drips down to your tummy too, where it weighs heavy like a tangible mass, and brings your pulse to the bud between your legs.
His touch there doesn’t last long; he pulls away only moments later, a tightness newly lifted off your sternum. One hand still kneads your nape, effectively keeping your face against his broad shoulder, but the other moves to collect your slack wrists together. It strikes you as unusual, sure, yet you’ve since surrendered your inhibitions for sake of survival. A cavewoman tradeoff. Your body purrs at the satisfaction of your baser instincts, happy to resort to this primitive state of impartiality, if only it means you’ll stay snug throughout the winter. 
Yes. If anyone were to ask you right then, you would have seen it as not only plausible but entirely necessary to stay like this for the months to come. Sated and secure and just a hint impassioned, content to doze off on the lap of your tormentor. Already halfway there, lashes fluttering as you battle complete oblivion. 
Only that isn’t what Ghost has in store, and he seems eager to break the illusion you hold in such high regard. 
He releases your neck, guiding you to sit upright upon his tree-trunk thighs. When you object by reaching for his hands again, you find that your own are securely fixed behind your back. Completely immobilised. 
Sensation slowly trickles back to you. Once numb, your skin now comes alive with frayed nerve endings, crackling, hair standing on its ends. What you find, alarmingly, is your place within a twisted example of the lesson Ghost has been attempting to teach. The lightness on your sternum not as metaphorical as you had assumed – rather, the bandages binding your breasts have been unwrapped to treacherously hitch your wrists together. The rough fabric excoriates the surface of your forearms. 
Your breathing accelerates. If you’d been freezing before, you’re thoroughly iced now. Shock races through your system and persecutes everything that lulled you into this position. Stupid, stupid, stu–
“Ghost.” You hiss. “Ghost. This is-isn’t funny.”
He doesn’t respond, rolling your top to reveal the soft stretch of your navel. It involuntarily retracts when he flits over your belly button, dodging the unwelcome spread of his fingers. Your body's way of protesting, for all you lean into his touch. Too tempting not to, really. Something in him burns; perhaps a furnace in place of his heart, or a piece of hell he takes with him wherever he goes. 
That primitive voice grows louder, whispering deceptively in your ear that it’s fine, let him touch you. So long as you stay warm. 
You shake your head as if to jerk the instinct off your crown. Lips pursed tight now, the hand on your belly slowly climbing up. Up. 
“Stop it. Stop this, I d-don’t want it.” 
“I know.” He says, pressing his thumb into your waist. It digs until it hits a rib, tenderising muscle. You’re a lamb on a spit, spun slowly, roasted over an open flame. How silly of you to lean into the burn. Short-sighted to decide that it’s better than the cruel press of winter. You’ll be eaten like this. 
“Then g-get the fuck off me!” You yelp, swaying on your haunches in a bid to knock yourself off his lap. Your arms are useless, but that does not mean you cannot fight. “I order you!”
That pulls a laugh from him. Or, what sounds like a laugh. As with everything, it’s his estimate of a human one, like the cicada mimics the bird; not as melodic, rather striking you with disgust so potent you feel your nausea reawakening. You might just hurl.
“And wha’ will I be granted in return? Nothin’ you have that’ll convince me to unhand you, pet.” Ghost rucks your tunic to your shoulders at last, exposing your bare breasts to bitter air. Though he gives them no time to pebble up, large paws enveloping both mounds and squeezing until your breath syphons from your lungs. “Haven’ seen a pair of tits in decades. Suppose you humans do have somethin’ going for you.” 
Your words startle in your throat. Nothing about it is pleasurable, nor does he intend for it to be. His fingers take your nipples; rolling, tugging, pinching. Nails dig crescent cuts into the darkened skin there, perhaps searching for blood. He certainly treats it as though blood is the aim, and you wonder whether you’re to be hung from your bust to drain onto his waiting tongue. Just as one might press olives, no care for their pulpy bodies but only the rich oil they produce. Grease to slick their pans, to moisten their mouths. 
You’ll be eaten like this.
“Stop, please.” 
“Wonder what y’would look like plump with milk. Nursing my litter, rounded out with another dozen.” He sucks his teeth, contemplative. “Body wouldn’t handle it, f’you ask me. Stronger women than you ‘ave tried.”
Have. It hurts to think about. Hurts more when the insult of his words truly resonates. Stronger women. That is to say you have been exiled for nothing. That with a year of solitude and occult practice, you are just as feeble as before. Is this why he ate your crow? To prove to you that he could? 
The tide pushes back out. In a great swell of loam and brine, your hatred crashes vengefully onshore. You muster all of it, dipping pails into the water and letting it weigh heavy on your shoulders. It is almost negligible, you find. You scarcely feel its burden when fuelled by a focused point to your antipathy. Your teeth stop chattering. You glare daggers. 
“Let me go.” 
Your final plea rolls over him like all the ones before it. “But you’re a witch, aren’t ya? Brew up a little elixir to pull yourself through the whelping. Maybe then you’ll realise how much you long to stay alive.” 
Your neck snaps back. Before you can think it through, you thrust your head towards his face. There’s a crunch, a dizzying moment of choked silence, then a hot burst of moisture down your face. For a naive moment, you think you must have struck gold. You imagine drawing back to find his mask sticky with blood, or tar, or whatever demons have thrumming through their veins. A raw testament to your resolve, if he should ever underestimate it again. 
But the mirage is as naive as your mother. Eventually the pain catches up to you. You realise the iron-tang at the back of your throat is not the dreg of satisfaction. The tears slipping past your lashes no longer wrought from misery. Everything, rather, an immediate response to the sore condition of your nose. Misshapen and swelling already.
Ghost hums. You hoped to see him grovelling in pain by now. The battered expectation somehow makes his condescension worse. 
“Good to see y’find your spirit,” His head tilts, bullying yours into remaining still, fingers knitted firmly in your hair. “but it’s misplaced.” 
Given his derision, you know not to rejoice when his other hand leaves your chest. Your shirt slumps lamely back over your figure as he lifts the edges of his mask, folding it over his mouth. In the dark, it’s difficult to map the nuances of his exposed jowls. There’s a pale curve there, a disfigured line here. Your sinuses twinge when your stare narrows, cutting through murk to place the shape of his lips. 
It’s futile. You have no way to jam the gaps; no way of knowing whether he’s all man, all demon, or a foul mix of the two. 
The one thing that glimmers with definition is the string of spit when he unlatches his jaw, long tongue striking like a wound-tight cobra. You would flinch if you could, eyes pruning shut, but his grip keeps you steady in place as he laves a forceful path up your chin. Tasting the metallic leak of blood, all the way up to its source. 
You see it coming. Still, you can’t help but scream when he works his tongue around your nose. Loosed bones shift under your skin, steadiness fractured, cartilage support dipping inwards against the assault. He groans, and in spite of your impaired sense of smell, you get a whiff of rot-hot breath. It must all be a terrible dream, you think. The hardened muscle pressing against your inner thighs, the viscous web of saliva stretched across your face. It’s cold and you’re sweaty, and everything about the past month – the past year – seems like it has been especially curated to torment you. You would wake from this any second.
He gathers the salty drips off your eyes, the blood, every grief coating your skin. Agony blinds you – so profound it takes shape, colour. You squirm in your binds, ragged shrieks ripping from your throat. 
It echoes even after he breaks away. If it weren’t for the sudden coolness of spit drying within your cupid’s bow, you would think he was still making a feast of you. 
“Tha’ got you to settle, hm?” 
You shake your head, exhausted. “You said–” 
“I said fight, or die.” He huffs. You let silence swathe your lips, pursing them as thin as you can manage without exacerbating your injury. “Yer fighting to die, pet.”
“I just want to be left alone.” 
“‘N’ what d’you think will come of that?” 
“It shouldn’t m-matter.” Your conviction sound hollow when spoken aloud. If he hears it, he uses it as an incentive to strip your top back over your chest. Like a hot wire pushed through your ribcage, his warm hands toast you from the outside in. It is in your best interest not to shiver in delight; though you are still dreadfully cold, and your injury makes it difficult to pigeonhole any alleviation to your pain. “You can’t-t-t defile me on the grounds of greater good.” 
Ghost laughs again. “Ain’ pretending this is for the greater good, pet. The world will thank me if one more witch freezes to ‘er death.” You’re yanked further up his lap. “I let you go, you’ve got four, five hours tops ‘till your heart fails. You wan’ to live?”
You shake your head, fervent tremors batting your pout. A nonanswer seems the only manner of resistance, now. “Not like this.” 
“Clever. Tha’ still tells me you do.” He pinches the knotted peaks of your breasts, twisting until you buck wretchedly onto his pelvis. “And I wan’ to spend my evenin’ playing with your tits. A fair compromise, then.” 
What sort of familiar makes the demands? You contemplate berating him out loud, lunging for the dirty insult to beat at his status like he did yours. With no room for taking the high ground, you will do anything so long as you can later say you bared your claws. So you do not wonder, for countless sleepless nights, if there was something more you should have done. You will be mean. You will go low. You will condemn him to a fate of eternal dissatisfaction, so that no matter how much he eats or kills or takes, he will always feel his stomach a gnawing pit. 
Though something tells you he will not succumb to scrutiny against his honour. There is no code for creatures like him, who floss their teeth with crow meat and pluck the nipples of girls who grant them shelter. Nothing to hold them to expect the conditions of their summons.
Perhaps that’s just it.
You stir. It feels much like magic, when an incantation rolls off the tongue just right and the air shifts to accommodate it. Your heart vibrates behind your sternum, power bloating your veins, ricocheting within your skin. If Ghost feels it, he doesn’t falter.
“Be sure, demon.” You rasp, drawing your intent taut in your chest like a bowstring. He hums but does not stop, kneading your flesh to conform to the creases and calluses of his hands. “Be sure that’s what you want. I could give in without further fuss and be like a docile rabbit on your lap. That way, you will have taken two things from me tonight.” 
The liquid of his eyes shifts quick. You catch its gleam in the little light, and it pleases you enough to deliver the rest of your covenant.  
“By the spell that brought you here, you are bound to do what I sacrifice for.” You pause a moment. “In exchange for the blood you have ingested off my face, you will dig this house out of the snow. And for my virtue, this one evening allowance of which you have already taken upon yourself, you will collect my firewood until the season clears.” 
Ghost makes an indiscernible noise from underneath. You can not tell if he is peeved or pleased, and the ambiguity shakes you. You expected some sort of acknowledgment or counter to your trick. Instead, he does not speak on it. No pitch or complaint, protest or taunt. 
He just sits there, pawing at your chest like a satiated dog. 
(And come morning, when your breasts are raw and tender to the touch, he tunnels the snow around your cottage and returns hours later with a hundred cedar logs for the kindling.)
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𝐈𝐈.𝐈𝐈
She prefers him in the daylight
Sun floods her little home when it rises and keeps it bright until it sets. Whereas the dark plays tricks on mortal eyes, oil lamps flickering, casting shadows that always resemble something else. She likes training an eye on what he does in his usual corner; but come night, she can’t trust what she sees. Thus, her confidence strains. She flinches at every sound. Any movement will have her tucking deeper under her quilt. His empty-eyed stare glows more sinister, if anything is to be assumed by the way she will crack her grimoire open and mouth protective spells like prayers.
Perhaps she’s afraid she caused offence, that he mulls over a punishment to teach her not to make a fool of him again. Perhaps it plagues her that she cannot stop him if that is the case. He does not tell her that, already, the worst possible thing that can confront her has. Though of course she isn’t privy to it, it’s been a month since he decided against making a meal of her. Everything he does now is moderate in comparison. He’s being good. 
Good, yes. In the evenings, he will venture out to do her bidding. The timing grants her a few hours rest, then, and him an opportunity to hunt for his dinner. 
Good, because he waits until he’s a mile out to transform to his truer self. It is easier to strip trees of their branches and snap their spines when he stands over two metres tall. Not so easy to mend the fragile tolerance she’s gained for him, which is sure to shatter if she catches sight of his monstrosity. He eludes the possibility entirely, then. 
Good, because Ghost refrains from agitating her more than he already has. And his intention in doing so does not change that decency. 
That is to say, he hasn’t grown a heart. He does not care for the girl. But the passivity that necessitated his savagery has since come to pass. She’s grown claws. She fights for her say and punches through life with guile. Any more and he would be faulting her for it, like burning the meat he tumbled through mud to slaughter. It is down to him to take it off the roast, now, to revel in the succulent bite. He’s got her right where he wants her.  
With some brief tampering on his part – laying out the temptation like a breadcrumb trail into the woods – she broke her invisible vow not to ask him for anything. Has it not made her life that much simpler? Her hearth burns bright and warm everyday; she does not have to worry about keeping it lit for the remnants of winter. He picks cedar for its aroma, it's even char, and she would not have access to that if it weren’t for his ability to tackle the sturdy tree. All it took was her debauchment, the vitiating of character to match his. 
(And really, how debauched was it if she only endured his groping for one night?)
It isn’t too much to want, he thinks. 
She thinks so too. Or otherwise decides it's worth the risk. 
It is late into the evening and his dinner sits fresh in his belly, fire chewing away at the split logs he emptied into the pit earlier. The air is thick with cloying cedar and the mephitic scent of potion-brewing, his pet crouched over a bubbling pot. She has been at it for hours, the same nightly routine since she broke her nose. Tadpoles and feverfew and sage, chanterelle and wishbone and sand. Stirred, brought to a boil, thickened with spit. Then scooped out and smothered over her sore face. A modest poultice, turned cast, to help her mend correctly over weeks.
He wonders if she considered bothering him to heal her. He certainly can. But it appears as though she enjoys keeping her hands busy. Toiling through time, grinding away like water does the earth. In the aeons he’s been around, he’s seen mountains chipped away, rocks change shape, rivers bend over time – and it is always the same eternal petulance. Stubborn mediocrity built into something larger. Endurance over brute force. He doesn’t pretend to understand it, but he can recognise a reflection of it in her craft. 
But she is not eternal. Every mortal has their limits. 
Ghost sees the iron grow filigree in her eyes, calculations imprinting onto her resolve. When she stands and turns to him, he almost expects it. The past quarter hour has built up to this ambitious ask, whatever it may be, and he’s mapped every battle she’s held within herself over the course of it. She does not want like he does. It is only extraneous circumstance that would lead her to his service. 
“I started it later than I usually do.” She mumbles, lips twisting like maggots. The hollows under her eyes are prominent, both exhaustion and hunger trimming her down to a sorry state. “I need sleep, but this can’t be heated beyond a boil.”
His cock chubs up in his trousers, aching as an array of possibilities occur to him in that second. Would he split her cunt on his fingers? Would he make her set it down atop his tongue? Her skirt leaves much to the imagination, but he imagines it bright and faithful in his head. Darker on the outside than in, glazed with pellucid slick, and shrouded in a matting of hair. The thought alone funnels salivate to the underside of his tongue. 
He meets her eye, shoulders curving inward, poised to pounce. 
Then, her brow spasms, and the wolfish instinct unravels as fast as it materialises. 
No. He cannot push it too far, not when she asks for something so little. It took all her energy to come to him now. She will never consider it again if he exploits that beyond equal measure. 
So, Ghost stands, stalking over to the cauldron and his pet. He often forgets how small she is until she cranes her neck to look up at him, all owlish blinks and delicate fingers latticed together, anxious for his response. 
“I’ll wake you.” He says. The tension in her forehead ebbs immediately, eyelids sagging now that he confirmed her ingredients will not waste. Though she doesn’t move, and he makes her stand there until he determines on an appropriate return. 
Moments later, he wraps an arm around her. His hand finds the jut in her skirt, where it protrudes to lap over her arse, and squeezes around the fat of one cheek. Even with the layers separating them, she is supple like softened butter. She makes a sound like a trapped mouse, jumping to the balls of her feet. The noise doesn’t deter him; he holds it there until he’s satisfied his grip will bruise. 
“There we are.” When he releases her, she stumbles backwards to find her bearings against the cool press of the wall. Puts a safe distance between them. Yet her stunned silence is intoxicating, and he has to actively suppress the gluttonous urge for more. Nothing is sacred when he gets like this. “That’s us even, then.” 
She nods. It is a wonder she manages to sleep at all.
(Unfortunate that the potion to heal her broken nose steals stock from her kitchen shelves. Day by day, he’s watched her sacrifice her fungi and herbs to the cauldron, prioritising recovery over sustenance. Unfortunate that she is still unable to go out for more. The winter whips cruel and merciless winds for anyone who dares step out into its storm.
Unfortunate. But not moving enough. 
It is intentional silence on his part, then. For the day will come where she opens her cupboards to eat and finds them lined with dust.
And on that day, he will be there.) 
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𝐈𝐈.𝐈𝐈𝐈
Ghost takes his meals outside. 
That is, when he comes back lugging a dead beast and a tree behind him. You’ll watch from the window as he places the latter to the side, sinking to his knees to feast on whatever he caught that day. It always varies: hares, owls, rodents. An elk if he’s lucky. Today, it is a fox. 
Your heart knots with pity, mourning for the mammal who cannot grieve itself. Eyes blank and jaw swung open. Its fur, which typically strikes as a vivid red, can only look dull when set by the blood it leaves in its trail, tangled in the entrails bursting from its belly. The demon never minds the hair, nor the carnage. He balances on his haunches and pulls his mask up, sinking his teeth into the softest parts of his spoils. 
Though no one holds you to the frosted glass – chanting look, you have to look – you insist on bearing witness. The gore never grows easier to behold; everytime, it is the same revulsion that stews nausea at the sight. But you sit and suffer it anyway. If anyone were to ask you why, you would be hard-pressed to find an answer. 
Perhaps it is to build a tolerance for nature’s brutality. Ghost’s lesson with your crow has carved an irreplicable torment within you, revealing the jeopardy you face should you continue down your meek path. Exposure therapy is good justification, then, when your personal improvement thus far has only wrought merit. Your magic begets greater effect. You feel your self-possession flourish your spirit. Even your familiar has staved off the trouble, and you can not ask for a greater success.  
But that does not capture the core of the matter. Perhaps that is to be found in him, instead.
Because when Ghost eats, his visage will fluctuate. You do not think it is something he’s mindful of. None of it looks intentional – he does not bid whetted talons or teeth, features that would aid him in gutting the fox. Rather, they appear like fish beneath a rippling brook. Swift, transient flashes of another form. 
He sucks down an intestine, and his burly legs stretch so the joints are equidistant. They snap backwards, digitigrade heels extending, before you blink and they’re human once more.
He laps at a puddle of blood, and his mask parts to reveal two ivory prongs that steadily grow from his head. They curl, winding around his temples as ram horns do, only to disappear as your arid eyes burn. 
He tears into cartilage, and his exposed skin flakes like charred wood. The liver; his torso extends and thins. The brain; his breath condenses to black ash, as yours would ghostly vapour in cold air. None of it permanent. All of it haunting. 
The first time you saw it, you chalked it up to phantasm. Lack of sleep, insufficient nutrition. Searching for monstrosity that would better connect to the horror unfurling before you. So you set out to observe. Incessantly. Again and again and again – validating what you saw, though you received confirmation upon the second instance long ago. Sure enough, each day he reveals different parts to a whole. Excrescent spines and lofty feet. Things that have been urging for a spot in the sun, pressing under his skin. 
It’s the nesting doll all over again. Little matryoshka faces, each opening to reveal a smaller version of itself within. If you are the innermost one, then Ghost is the sisyphean effort to close them over each other in descending order. Unfeasible. Too large to comfortably remain within his confines. The wood will eventually snap in your struggle, and all the painted pieces will scatter across the floor. 
(You remember him just then. Craggy charm and blue eyes. Crafty hand – the same to restore your mother’s staircase – whittling the doll when you suggested he couldn’t. He wore a cross no matter the day, a habit of his father’s doing, and the silver pendant would sway with the paring motion of his hands. Lustrous against tanned skin. No doubt forged by him, too.
He used to call you macabre. Though it was footling fun at the time, you can’t help but grasp at what he meant as you track the steaming slaughter outside.)
“Do you like it?”
Water rushes into a tin basin, its metallic clang a forceful, echoing percussion. The noise is insufferable, grating on your ears, but you would rather it than have Ghost tow the pungent smell of death into your home. With his back turned to you, he washes his hands and mouth of dinner’s remnants, faucet spitting frigid reserves into the kitchen sink. 
His head twists a fraction, pupils coasting to assess you in his peripheral. Small talk is not commonplace. In the weeks you have coexisted, you can count your conversations on both hands. They always seem to prefer the path of internal dissection instead, judgments flung at one another through glares and body language and not much else. 
“Be more specific.” He grunts, facing his task again. From your place on the couch, you can see the way he picks his nails for stubborn shreds of fat. 
“Fox.”
A sliver of pale skin, bared where his mask ends at his nape, twitches. “No.” 
“Why not?” 
“Ammonic. Greasy. Tough all ‘round. Slippery little fucks, too.” His voice is softer when he isn’t being caustic. Skipping over enunciations, the typical rumble in his chest quieted to a hum. “There are easier, more rewardin’ meals.” 
You imagine what he may be referring to. Of every creature on this earth, only one does not have the benefit of evasion. Predators are sheltered by hierarchical canopies, demons like Ghost so powerful that they do not have to watch their backs. Birds of prey have their wings, fish their slippery scales. Even deer – slender and pregnable – are granted fleet-footed instincts rivalled only by the Pantheon’s messenger himself. It is only you, human, that is condemned to spindling, slow inelegance. Perhaps it is why so many are intellectuals, worshipers, terrors – why you yourself are a witch, sapping nature for her wares of which you do not come by naturally. That is the way things turn. Assuming the offensive to offset one’s shortcomings.
And turn back again; your effort has only imperilled you further. There is a cannibal, a monster, a man inside of your home. And you beckoned him here. 
Even as the revelation occurs to you, you can’t stave your ambition. Of course you do not parley with Ghost for the sake of it. There is nothing this new knowledge grants. But since he left to do his day’s errands, your stomach has made its presence known. Opening up like an early grave, emptiness gnarled beneath a soil bed as with roots of a tombstone tree. Every moment, every word, you are reminded of its cavity. Too long, it says, you’ve ignored the pangs of hunger that seized this trench in an iron fist. Priorities, you would reply, as you surrendered food to brew your poultice. And so your nose is healed, great, but your shelves are empty and your head is faint. Hunger surplants the cold as your imminent killer.
“My mum taught me how to fix a good stew.” You begin, rolling your sticky tongue and tucking both hands beneath your bottom, cautious not to set this mousetrap off yourself. The pressure is grounding, at least; you match your breathing to the pulse you feel in your fingertips. “I trust it would be better than raw meat.”
A pause. Ghost’s spine straightens. Then, a panic. You’re thrown off your conviction when your chest flutters and you feel it in your brain. Where is that wily being? The woman who cheated her familiar into a season’s worth of labour? You feel as though you have regressed; screeching infant, lungs flaring with a rush of new air. You cannot face this, you think, but you’re already halfway out into the world. The sink squeaks off. 
You just pray your stomach doesn’t make noise in the new silence. 
“Is tha’ so?” He says, though does not turn to look at you just yet. 
“I could try.” The words bubble like bile in your throat. It is in your best interest to stay quiet. Say no more. He’s being ambiguous so you will reveal too much in turn. The game is transparent. You can see the water-worn rocks on the river bed, so clear it’s like they’re clasped between your hands instead. Yet– “If I had the ingredients for it, ‘course.” 
There. The lip of the cliff. How odd of you to see it only as you plummet towards a frothy scree. Ghost snaps, live lightning in heated air, or otherwise like the rocks that impale you on landing. In two strides, you’re cornered by a creature with scorn harrowing the space between its brows. You were stupid not to plan an escape route, stupid to arm yourself with nothing but flimsy subtlety. There was always the risk of it coming to this, you knew that. 
“You think y’can rummage for loopholes, hm?” He leers, eyes searing holes into yours. “A trick is only charmin’ on the first go, pet. More than once and y’start to stink of stale piss.” 
“I don’t–” 
He snatches your jaw, thumb and ring fingers digging an aching grip onto either side. Your protest warbles pathetically, dies, chokes you with its rot. It’s difficult, no– impossible to decipher what he's mad at. A small, fresh part of you actually hoped he’d see your cunning as artful. But it seems your station has come back to haunt you; another mortal whose brain cannot keep up with her heart. Even if one is in the right place, you will go about chasing it in the wrong direction. Artful is too shiny of a laurel, then. Trick, too, is being charitable 
“Do not play coy with me, girl. I do not take kindly to underhand deals.” Snarled right above you, spit spattering across your face. Your mandible squeaks, bone-deep pain flaring where he tightens the pressure around your face. Fox blood flavours his breath. There is a ringing in your head – shrill, like water in the tin sink. “If you need something from me, you will admit it and cope with the terms I have in turn.”
“I-I’m sorr-eeeee.” Your apology wheezes thin when he thrashes your head in place. It is either that or the relentless force on your jaw that tears a new world of pain down your neck. The tears are reactionary, then. Hot and foggy and not at all a sign of fear. “Ah- I’m sorry! I won’t– I didn’t mean to offend y-you.” 
“S’too fuckin’ late for that. You’ll follow through, before I take wha’ I want anyway.” He shakes his head. “Ask nicely for what y’need then, pet. Go on.” 
“Nothing! Nothing anymore, please. Jus’ let me go, Ghost.” Perhaps the universe disdains your insincerity, because in a hand dealt by its inexorable irony, your stomach buckles and purls a foul sound. Like it heard your words and protests the withdrawal, gurgling out loud to whoever will address it instead. 
And he does. He does. 
“You’re hungry, hm? That it?” He shoves your limp body onto the floor, dismissive of the pleas you now regulate to your feet, thrashed wildly to strike at his shin. Everything he does is callous, mean, agitated like the sulphur and magma that run thick beneath the earth’s crust. And though it is not your first encounter with a creature of that ilk – you have had your run-ins with over-excited men – the intentionality behind it has never been more flagrant. Ghost does it to hurt you. “Yeah, been neglecting you, haven’ I? Forgot pets couldn’ feed themselves.”  
“I’w scrounge somefing up mysef.” You struggle, speech impeded as he crushes your cheeks inwards. Pearl dust flakes your gums. 
“Should ‘ave thought of tha’ before. Even if I end up breakin’ every bone in that fine skull of yours, I won’t let up. Say it, then, you daft thing.” 
The scaling of your options is instantaneous. Even as your immediate conscious lags behind, activity lights the back of your head and cracks its way out of your mouth before you can catch it. It took weeks for your nose to heal, much less your skull. You’re consuming fuel quicker than you can replenish, running on a backlog of quick-burning fat. And all of it can be taken care of if you just give in, to what will likely only be a few hours of degradation. 
(Cavewoman. Primordial. Primitive impartiality, or survival of the fittest. The world has only come so far since then, and even within its concentrated civilizations, there is no aegis but for those who come up on top. You cannot expect your liberties to be met anywhere. That, you know too well.
But here, in this feral forest, at least you can use the violation to your benefit. At the very least, you will not be exiled, cast as witch for taboo of saying the greater word. 
You are already macerated on rock bottom. And at the barren abyss of all leasts, Ghost will not hang a cross pendant above you as he stomps it in.)
He must see the surrender wet your eyes, for the grip on your jaw lessens. 
“I am hungry.” You cry, finally, lashes fluttering shut so as to guard your tears. “I am hungry. This winter has dashed my garden and I do not know how to hunt. The cushions jab into my ribs when I sleep. I feel as though my stomach will consume me from the inside out, and I’m desperate. I am desperate, and I am so, so hungry. And I am asking for your help. Please.” 
If there was any part of you that still believed he would choose pity, it is muffled and killed. You hear the scratch of fabric as he undoes his pants. Final, failing. Rustled hand behind confines, stench of musk stiffening the air. For a few seconds, you opt to remain blissfully ignorant – keep your eyes closed and imagine that the presence before your face is something different. A purifying flame, tender cut of meat, a smiling face before things fell downhill. It all sounds too good to be true, and they are. Sooner or later, you tell yourself, you have to face the misery. 
So, you force yourself to behold it before he takes that upon himself. 
His cock is heavy. Fat and oversized, length not having suffered for its breadth. Ruddy where the head peaks from an uncut tip, hard already, but bowed under the weight of itself. If you had anything to expel, you would’ve done so by now. A thicket of hair fledges his groyne – a shade of dark that pales his scarred skin in comparison – and it reeks of sweat and miasma. 
He taps it on your cheek, prespend sticky and warm. You flinch as though you have been beaten. 
“Just one thing af’er the other with you, pet. Think this’ll give y’something to fix yourself on.” 
“I don’t– I’ve never–” His thumb hooks over your bottom teeth, prying your trap as wide as it can go. Drool slicks the cracked hinges of your lips. “Don’ know how.”
“Not what I’m lookin’ for.” He purrs, cruel humour gracing his tone. Somehow, it is not a reassurance as much as it is a snub. “Jus’ keep your teeth out of the way.” Humiliation washes your neck and ears, rush of blood like white river rapids behind your ears. It is the final swatch, trumpet to armageddon, before your ruin. You suck in a breath and bring your mouth to him.
Ghost meets you halfway, treating the crown of your head as an anchor to thrust forward. Immediately, you let slip his only rule, teeth snapping reflexively at the intrusion. You expect to be backhanded, have your hair ripped from your scalp in relation, or worse. It is a relief, then, when the only force you receive is a knock against your jaw. The rapping shakes your cotton-lined skull, snaps you out of your stupefaction, and you slack all muscles to accommodate his demand.
The mass feeding down your throat vibrates, an appreciative hum coursing through his body. “There you are, little jezebel. Look a’ you takin’ my cock so well.” 
You make no effort to glide your tongue along his veins. To make this pleasurable for him beyond what he takes for himself. True to his word, your familiar does not punish you for it. He knots his hands around your head and fucks your face, careless, cock rearranging the anatomy of your neck as it bludgeons a straight path down. You sway, ragdoll with the motions, knees rubbing abrasively across the floor as he slides you back and forth over it. 
Hypoxia spots your vision, lungs clenching furiously at the obstructed flow of oxygen. You would fasten it all shut, close yourself off from the world, but your eyes bulge a little at the edges, stagnant blood keeping them arid and open. It’s hard to dissociate. Hard to pretend that the steel-wool friction at the tip of your nose, the pendulum-consistent slaps on your chin, are not his pubic hair and balls searing unmistakable marks on your skin. And your series of gags are sloppy, lewd out in the confined air of your home. How could they be anything but damnation? There is no deluding the Maker. 
(No matter how fervently he tried. Marry me, proposed down on both knees. It’ll set this whole fankle right. We’ll hold hands an’ seek penance at the kirk before th’ceremony. My pa will officiate. Yer ma will be thrilled.)
Snot bubbles from your nose, cheeks slick with tears and wayward spit. When he batters forward, it amalgamates in the soft palate beneath your spasming tongue. When he draws out, he takes it with him, viscous strings of saliva bridging the gap. It streams down to your neck, glosses your lips, webs your lashes together. You feel buried beneath its stifling coat, set down into your grave at last. Maggots worm their way into the soft matter of your brain, eat away at the tissue until there’s nothing left but suffocation. Death. Throttling void. 
Your hands flail out, seeking an end to it, but all you find is Ghost.
He slows down once he nears his end. 
The bruising pace he set stutters, balls tightening against your submental. It catches you off guard because, for the past ten minutes, you accustomed yourself to the patterns of his push and pull. For every plunge, there is a retreat, where you will greedily feast on fresh air before being choked back down on his cock. It is a break of tide, an opportunity to paddle your way above water to clear sea-salt from your hollows. A bay to hold onto so you do not drown.
Until now; his forearms twitch and you’re kept in place, forehead squashed onto his mons. You panic, hold on your breath breaking. The heady scent of sweat sweeps over you, laced with the tart products of your mouth – saliva and blood from where your canine pierced your cheek. Prespend, too. The undiluted stink of him. Hair tickles your lips. Your cunt flares, sudden, slickening the chafe of your thighs, but the unwelcome arousal does nothing for you. 
He holds your head down and spurts his load into your gullet. 
There is no room to swallow. It goes in the wrong direction, then – upward – and out your nose. You squeeze your eyes shut, disgusted scream gargling around his throbbing appendage. Distress bloats your head, temples feverish and sweating, nails digging deep impressions into your palms. It’s futile. Useless. Nothing thwarts him but the last dregs of semen spitting out onto your tonsils, pumping himself dry until finally, finally–
Ghost pulls out. You collapse onto the carpet and hack up cum until your throat bleeds. 
The silence afterwards is mortifying, tension palpable enough to writhe up against. Drained, you’ve since pressed your cheek into the puddle of filth, urging pearlescent spend to seep into the fibres below. It'll be a nightmare to clean later, you process slowly. Perhaps you’ll use the bleach, and take the same sponge to your lips.
The monster above you tuts at the display, crouching to your level when you exhibit no interest in rising to his.  
“C’mon, sweet. Wouldn’t want to waste your dinner now.” 
But you’re too weak to lift your head. So Ghost gathers your hair, puppeteering – in a manner rather gentle for your assailant – until you can lap his essence off the floor. 
It tastes like raw venison. You snivel your thanks, and imagine it is exactly that.
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mira-says · 2 months ago
Text
Make it Special
Azriel x Reader
Read on AO3
Summary: When you met Azriel and the bond snapped in place, you'd both agreed that you wanted to wait for your mating ceremony to be intimate, to make it special. But three years of cancelled plans, bad weather, obnoxious High Lords and even more obnoxious Illyrians had you and Azriel deeply questioning your earlier agreement to wait
Warnings: 18+, fluff, smut, tiniest touch of angst
Word count: 3.4k (how did that happen)
A/N: Hi, this is my first fic for acotar and my first time writing smut 🥰 I would love comments, critiques, and suggestions! Also, I use mating ceremony/wedding language interchangeably. Ok, enjoy!!
💙🩵💙
Azriel had to wonder if he'd done something to offend the Mother. He supposed it was possible you had done something instead, but he couldn't imagine what. Surely of the two of you, he was the more likely culprit.
When you met three years ago, and the bond snapped in place, you'd both agreed that you wanted to wait for your mating ceremony to be intimate, to make it special. You had both been hurt by previous lovers and you suggested that the security of vows, spoken to each other and before your friends and family, would give you both the confidence to take those next steps.
And that had been fine, only a couple months into your relationship. And maybe you had been rushing into the ceremony, both of you still scared to lose the other.
But three years of cancelled plans, bad weather, obnoxious High Lords and even more obnoxious Illyrians had you and Azriel deeply questioning your earlier agreement to wait.
The first time you had planned your mating ceremony, it was to be in the beautiful temple on the Sidra a few weeks before the Winter Solstice. That winter had churned out more blizzards than Velaris had ever seen, causing damage to the roads and leading to the head priestess cancelling the ceremony so the temple could house those stranded by the ice and snow.
A disappointment, but understandable.
The second time was over a year later in the early summer. No blizzards, not even a drop of rain fell on your wedding day. Just Azriel diving to the townhouse from the House of Wind where he'd been getting ready as he received a report that Beron was invading the Spring Court.
You'd always hated the High Lord of Autumn, but never more so than when he'd ruined your wedding. It took six months of fighting and endless, fruitless negotiations before Beron agreed to pull his forces back.
There were a couple more cancelled dates after everyone had settled, either Azriel was needed for a mission or you were called to another court for trade negotiations. Each time you set a new date, you and Azriel would laugh and wonder how this one would be ruined.
By this fifth or so time, Azriel had had enough laughing. The date was set for early autumn. The location was the River House, despite Cassian's whines that you were copying him and Nesta. Azriel offered that Cassian pay a booking fee for another location, hope it wouldn't be cancelled and that the cancellation fee wasn't more expensive than the venue was worth, or get over it. Cassian got over it.
Over the years, you and Azriel broke more and more rules of your earlier agreement. First, you agreed you could watch the other bring themselves pleasure. Then touching was allowed. Then oral. Then it was everything short of Azriel actually putting his cock in you. Several times, you had been close to throwing out the agreement entirely and just fucking, but something always stopped you. You wanted your first time with your mate to be special, not something that just happened because you were horny or desperate.
One of these times, a week before your wedding that you still would not let yourself dare to hope would actually happen, Azriel's head was buried between your legs, bringing you the kind of pleasure only he could provide. He brought you to climax over and over before you finally pushed him off, exhausted. He smirked at you with purely male satisfaction before kissing up your body, latching on to your neck.
"Love," he whispered. "I want to fuck you so badly."
You moaned softly at his words and the feeling of his lips on your skin. "I know, just another week."
He stilled for a moment before pulling the two of you out of bed.
"Az?" He dressed you quickly in a robe and threw pants on before taking your hand, shadows encasing both of you.
The shadows cleared and you blinked quickly, realizing you were outside of Rhys' office in the town house.
"Azriel, what are you doing?"
He ignored you, throwing open the door to Rhys' office. You heard a squeak from inside and looked around Azriel to see your High Lord and Lady in as nearly a compromising position as you had been a moment ago.
Rhys was pulling Feyre's shirt back around her chest. "What the fuck, Az?"
"I need you to know and understand something." Azriel said, dutifully keeping his eyes locked with Rhys'.
Rhys huffed incredulously. "And that is?"
"That is that my mate and I are getting married next week, and I don't give a fuck who needs help or who starts a fight or anything. I don't care if Devlon burns Illyria to the ground. I don't care if the fucking king of Hybern comes back from the dead and launches a fucking ball of fire at Velaris, we are getting married next week."
For a moment, you, Feyre and Rhys could only gape at him. Feyre broke first, trying and failing to conceal her laughter. "You got it, Az. Next week, no matter what."
Azriel nodded, content enough with her answer. You mouthed I'm so sorry at her and Rhys as he pulled you back out of the office.
Rhys couldn't resist. "Wound a little tight, brother?" Azriel just raised his middle finger in response and his shadows carried you both back to the House of Wind.
The morning of the ceremony was a blur.
Nuala and Cerridwen helped you bathe, eat, and dress before you were met with the full force of the Archeron sisters and Mor, ready to exert all of their creative energy on your wedding day look. Mor wove you hair into an intricate updo with Elaine helping her place pins and little white flowers. Feyre painted your face with little blue accents around your eyes that you knew would match Azriel's siphons. Finally, Nesta helped you into your dress, making sure you could move and breathe and dance as you wished.
You kept waiting for some announcement, some interruption that would cancel the ceremony yet again, but it never came.
The five of you stood crowded around a full length mirror, taking in the final look. You gazed at your reflection and felt your heart twist. "Is this really happening?" You asked softly.
Feyre took your hand gently. "It is. I promise."
They lead you to the front door of the river house before scurrying out to their seats in the garden. You caught a glimpse of the sky as they rushed out. How was it already the evening?
The front doors were pulled open again, with intention this time. You stepped over the threshold.
Moments later, it seemed, you were in front of Azriel at the altar. You vaguely remembered walking down the aisle, passing all your sniffling friends with huge smiles on their faces and sweet music playing around you, but from the moment you met Azriel's eyes, he was all you could see. Your mate.
"Y/n," he whispered as you stood across from him. He shadows danced over his shoulders. He opened his mouth to say more but found he couldn't speak. Tears glistened in his eyes.
You smiled up at him, taking his hands as the priestess had you speak your vows. You'd baked a lemon muffin for him to seal your bond. It was simple, but it was what you'd been not-so-secretly eating in a coat closet at one of Helion's ridiculous parties when Azriel had stumbled upon you, seeking solitude as well.
His eyes lit up in recognition as you handed him the muffin, three years after that day, and he looked you in the eyes as he took a bite.
"In the presence of all your friends and family, I declare you mated before the Mother," the priestess finished. Azriel held your cheek and kissed you deeply. The whoops and cheers from your friends made you smile against his lips. Finally.
A boom startled you from the kiss and you looked up to see red in the sky. You tensed, wondering if the king of Hybern had indeed come back from the dead and launched a fucking ball of fire at Velaris, but more booms sounded and beautiful, colorful fireworks lit up the night sky.
The reception Rhys and Feyre had planned was almost as ridiculous as Helion's party, but you loved every minute, marveling at the deep hum of your bond as you and Azriel danced.
Even hours later when the music and dancing had finished, you could feel that steady thrum of energy in your body. The way Azriel's eyes sparkled in the low lightning told you he felt it, too. Nesta had planned the last part of your reception, where your family gathered before a carriage to see the two of you off. As you stepped on the walkway, Azriel's hand clutched tightly in your own, Rhys waved his hand and everyone suddenly held a little ball of daylight. You paused in wonder at the sight.
"Now!" Nesta yelled and threw her little ball directly at your chest. It hit you softly and exploded into little sparkles of faelight that shimmered softly against your skin. You looked back to her in surprise and saw the rest of the Inner Circle aiming to toss their faelights at you and Azriel.
Shrieking in delight, you and Azriel ran through the bursting lights to the carriage. Azriel had somehow dodged all of them until you saw Cassian land a direct hit to his nose. Azriel stopped and gave him a glare that would have had lesser males pissing themselves in fear, but Cass only tipped back his head and laughed, elbowing Nesta and pointing at Azriel's unamused, now glowing, face.
Azriel opened the carriage door for you and helped you into the plush space. The two of you waved from the window as the carriage pulled away, the laughter and well-wishes of your friends echoing behind you. You felt your skin heat in anticipation at what was to come. Finally, you could have each other fully, the way you'd been dreaming of. You wouldn't let anything stand in the way.
Azriel waited until the carriage had gone a couple blocks before taking your hand and whisking the two of you away with his shadows.
Directly into a raging thunderstorm.
The little cottage you planned to stay in for your honeymoon, or frenzy as Rhys loved to call it, was on a high cliff above the ocean. It was a stunning view when it was covered in torrential rain.
Azriel had taken you to the front steps of the cottage. He could only blink at you as you were both soaked immediately with rain. You couldn't help but laugh at his disbelieving expression. He shook his head, giving you a half smile, and went to unlock the front door.
The key didn't fit. Azriel shook the handle to no avail and lightly punched the door in defeat.
Grinning a little at your particular string of bad luck, you stepped up to his side, but your smile fell away at the sudden despair on his face.
"Azriel-"
"I'm sorry," he choked out. "Fuck, this was supposed to be perfect. I wanted to make it special for you. We can finally-" He cut himself off, shaking his head.
You touched his arm comfortingly. Before you could speak his shadows enveloped you, carrying you both a few feet through the front door and into the cottage.
Not sparing a glance around the interior, stilling him as he roughly kicked off his shoes, you reached up to cup Azriel's face in your hands, guiding him to look down into your eyes.
"My love," you said. "It doesn't have to be perfect."
"I know, but-" You brushed your thumb over his lips, shushing him.
"Our wedding was perfect. Truly, I couldn't have asked for anything more. And this, sex, marriage, our new life... It's special because I'm with you. My mate, who I adore." You reached up to kiss him lightly. His eyes softened. "Every moment with you is special."
His shadows, which had been twitching nervously, seemed to calm as he placed his hands over your own and brought them to his lips, kissing your fingertips. "I love you so much."
You smiled up at him, feeling the anticipation that had been building all night bubble up. Azriel rested your hands on his shoulders gripping your hips in his own, pressing you closer to him. You both cringed for a moment, feeling your sopping clothes press against your skin.
Azriel's smile turned mischievous. "Let's go take these off."
You pulled away from him, turning and dashing up the narrow set of stairs that you assumed would lead to a bedroom. You paused briefly at the three doors down the hall, trying to guess which would have a bed inside, but Azriel caught up to you, sweeping you into his arms and pulling you in for a heated kiss, your back against the wall.
His hands drifted over the wet fabric of your wedding dress, the coolness of the fabric against the heat of his skin causing you to gasp. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, pushing you more firmly against the wall as he explored your body.
His lips moved to your jaw. "Az..." You moaned, breathless. "Bed."
Azriel sucked on a spot along your jaw that sent sparks flowing through you. "Hm, and what if I want to take you right here?"
You couldn't stop the heat rising to your cheeks at the idea. "Next time." You promised.
He stepped back, grinning. "I do like the sound of that."
He opened the second door in the hallway, backing into a dark bedroom. You vaguely noted the dark wooden furniture with deep blue accepts, but your eyes stayed trained on Azriel's as they seemed to glow brighter in the moonlit room.
You followed him slowly, feeling a sudden touch of shyness though he had seen you plenty of times over the last three years.
He met you just inside the door, kissing you softly. You felt his hands in your hair, gently undoing the intricate style Mor had spent hours on this morning. You hummed as your hair fell back around your face in soft curls.
"You are so beautiful." He breathed, reaching around your back to unlace the corset of your dress. You took the opportunity to slide his jacket from his shoulders, careful to not catch it on his wings, and unbutton his crisp white shirt. You felt your dress fall to your feet, and Azriel helped you carefully step out of it.
You had a momentary thought of hanging it up to dry somewhere but your brain emptied at the look in Azriel's eyes. His pupils were wide and hungry as he took in your body in only lacy white lingerie. His hands gently skimmed over your sides, causing you to shiver. He gripped your hips tightly and dropped to his knees before you, eyes fixated on the little jewels woven into the lace of your panties.
"Please don't rip them." You regained your voice in time to ask.
Azriel smirked up at you. "Would I do that?"
"Yes. Plenty of times--"
Your words turned into a moan as Azriel leaned in to lick a broad stroke up the length of your covered heat before gently pulling the garment down your legs with his fingers brushing your skin.
He helped you step out of them, giving you a pointed look as he folded them and placed them on the floor by your discarded dress. He took off your heels next and placed them down just as reverently as he had your underwear.
Starting at your calf, he began to press kisses up the length of your leg. You shivered as he reached your thigh, his eyes darting between yours and your core. His lips passed it by entirely, though, instead latching on to the skin on your hip and sucking a deep mark.
You took the time to admire how his hair, still dripping with rain, was starting to curl around his ears. You reached down to card your fingers through them gently, and he paused his kissing to stand up to his full height.
You pushed his shirt the rest of the way off around his wings and skimmed your hands over the muscles on his chest, feeling their power and getting a sudden rush at the thought that with you, he would only ever use them for your pleasure.
Azriel seemed to read your mind, pulling you closer so you head rested against his heart. He reached behind you and unlaced your bra, both of you sighing at the feeling of your breasts pressed against his skin as he tossed it to the floor.
When you pulled away to look back in his eyes, the heat growing inside you felt unbearable. You crashed your lips against his and he clumsily stepped back until the backs of his knees hit the mattress. You fumbled with his pants for a moment until he took them and his underwear off in one fluid motion, pulled you on to the bed, and climbed over you to reclaim your lips.
You felt like you were on fire and Azriel was kindling, making you burn hotter and hotter as his hands and skin pressed you deeper into the sheets.
His fingers teased around your clit and you would have screamed had his tongue not been thoroughly occupying your mouth.
When they prodded at your entrance, you had to break away from the kiss. "Azriel, please," you gasped.
"I know," he murmured. "I'll take care of you, I promise."
He kissed you again as his fingers entered you, stretching and curling in a way that had you moaning against his lips.
He was thorough, wanting you to feel no pain when he finally put his cock in you. It wasn't your first time having sex, but he was confident he was the biggest male you'd ever been with.
His fingers continued their delicious torture until you were gasping, "Az--I--I'm close!"
He stopped his movements and pulled out his fingers gently, smirking as you whined at the sudden emptiness. "The first time you're going to come tonight will be on my cock," he said, his voice deep with desire.
"Fucking, please, hurry up then!"
"No way, love, I'll take as long as I like."
Apparently, he didn't like to take long at all because as soon as he finished speaking, he'd lined up the head of his cock with your entrance, teasing momentarily before pushing in a little.
Tears fell from your eyes at the lovely stretch, and you could tell from the way Azriel's arms tensed around you that he was overcome with pleasure as well.
He pushed in a little more, so slowly and gently you could have cried again, and maybe you did. It felt like years passed as the two of you connected deeper and deeper until finally he was seated fully inside you, your legs pulled around his waist and his hips flush against yours.
He paused so you could adjust, but you didn't need to, he'd been so gentle and fit so perfectly. The bond between you felt alive with energy and love.
The way he looked into your eyes had the fire within you cooling for a moment as your mind caught up with where you were. This was your mate, looking down at you like you were the most precious jewel he'd ever seen. You cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch.
The first thrust of his hips had the fire back in full force, your eyes rolling upward with the feeling. Again, he moved slowly, but with power and intention, making you feel every inch of him slide along your walls and brush against a spot that had you digging your nails into his shoulders.
Azriel made love to you, and you to him. He was whispering in your ear as he moved, but you couldn't decipher what he was saying above the pleasure that seemed to roar throughout your body.
The fire inside was burning hotter and hotter with every thrust of his hips, every breath from his lips on your ear, every flick of the finger he brought down to your clit.
You came with a gasp of his name, your vision going white and feeling light spark through your veins. He came with a shout a moment later, releasing himself deep inside you.
You held each other tightly as you came down from your highs, breathing heavily. Azriel let his weight fall on you and you savored the feeling of him above you, like a warm blanket. You felt his lips place lazy, soft kisses on your neck where he had buried his head.
"Az," you said quietly after a minute.
"Hmm?"
"That was pretty special."
He laughed, "Yeah? Worth three years of waiting?"
"I think so," you tugged on his hair so he would turn to look at you. "But we should do it again, just to be sure."
He smiled and flipped you so you were resting on his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair softly, hazel eyes glowing as he studied your face. "Every moment is special with you."
💙🩵💙
Thank you for reading 🥰
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tightjeansjavi · 10 months ago
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warm me up
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A/N: the voices won this round! @strang3lov3 & @speckledemerald also, this was my first time writing game!joel 👀 this could also be show!joel if that's what you're into! This fic really got away from me today and I didn't think it would be nearly as long as I planned it to be..but that's just sometimes how things work out 😉 huge thank u to Bug for making me this cute lil mood board and I LOVE the deers!!🤍
~word count: 3.3k~
Summary: while on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.
Pairing I game!joel miller x f!reader
Warnings: smut (explicit & implicit) enemies to lovers, implied age gap (non-specific) consent, cock warming, one sleeping bag trope, close proximity, using one's body warmth for survival, denial of feelings, mean!joel, grumpy!joel, reader is a spitfire and gets under Joel's skin easily, joel has a big cock! He is a big big man! teasing, banter, sexual tension, fluff, foul language, pet names: (darlin, sweetheart, and princess) reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING!
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Joel is freezing, shaking like a goddamn leaf. It’s ironic, given his disposition. You should have tried to retrace your steps back to Jackson hours ago, but the winter was unforgiving, and the two of you have found yourselves in a real pickle; a frozen one.
“I told you that we were going to end up getting lost out here, Joel.” You grumble alongside him with your arms crossed over your chest. Your teeth are chattering, and it’s grinding his gears.
“We ain’t fuckin’ lost, sweetheart.” He gruffs back and adjusts his rifle strap along his shoulder. “I know where I’m goin.’”
You scoff at this because if he did know where he was going, you wouldn’t be fucking lost in a fucking blizzard right now!
“Right. I’m sure you do know where you’re going, Joel.” You mutter sarcastically under your breath.
He whips around to face you, cheeks speckled in red from the cold and even in the lowlight, you can see individual snowflakes sticking to his lashes.
“Alright, miss ‘I know everything.’ Which way do you think we should go?” He awaits your answer with a cocked brow and his lips pursed together. They’re severely cracked and on the verge of bleeding from the bitter cold.
“Not the direction we’re currently headed, that’s for damn sure! Let’s just fucking turn around and retrace our steps.” You bite back and watch the way that his jaw ticks from your tone. God, you’re a real thorn in this man’s side.
“Retrace our steps?” He laughs, shaking his head to the side and sucks in a harsh cold breath of air into his lungs. “The snow has covered up our tracks, you idiot.” He’s so fucking condescending, and you’ve just about had enough with his shit attitude for one day. Your blood is positively boiling under your thick layer of clothes, and you’d much rather succumb to Mother Nature and her wrath than spend another minute with this insufferable, annoying, mean, and painfully handsome man.
“Fuck you, Joel. I’m retracing my steps whether you have a say in it or not!” You snap and turn on your heel before you feel a rough, gloved-clad hand grasp your upper arm and yank you back towards a hard and very solid presence at your back.
“Quit your fuckin’ yappin!’” He barks against the shell of your ear. His voice is rasped, crackling like a roaring fire. “You ain’t goin’ anywhere without me, you got that?!” His grip around your arm only tightens when you tried to shove him away, but he’s built like a fucking steel fridge, and you’re no match for him.
“Then stop being a fucking asshole, Joel! I’d rather freeze to death out here than spend another minute with you!”
You mean every word. Well, you think that you do.
He sneers at your attempt to wound him with your words, as if a man with a heart made out of pure concrete can possibly be affected by the means of your figurative little daggers. They ricochet off his body and fall to the snow, disappearing under a sheet of white. “I wouldn’t have to be an asshole if you would just fuckin’ listen for once in your life! God, when we get back, and we will, I’m tellin’ Tommy that I ain’t ever goin’ on patrol with your ass again.”
His steel-like grip loosens when you don’t immediately bite back like he expects you too. He wants you to fight back, to call him names and send his own blood boiling because at least then he feels alive.
“Fine. We’ll do it your way.” You nearly whisper and bite down on the inside of your cheek, tasting harsh copper on your tongue.
“Fine.” He agrees and finally releases your arm. “We’re gonna wait out this damn storm for the night, and then tomorrow we’ll retrace our steps home. Who knows, sweetheart. Tommy might have already sent out a search party for us.”
“Let’s fucking hope that’s the case. The sooner this storm lets up, the better.” You think you’re going to cry, but you push your tears down as far as you possibly can. You have to conserve your energy, after all. Besides, Joel Miller isn’t worth your precious tears. Not even close.
He begins to survey the surrounding area. The woods offered some reliable cover with the thick evergreens acting as a shield from the treacherous wind. The snow is still falling in large flakes, but he might be able to get a fire going if he’s lucky.
“We should..probably y’know, share a sleepin’ bag for extra heat.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, feeling kinda silly in the moment because what did he have to be nervous for? His reasoning for sharing warmth was logical. It was just his survival instincts kicking in, right?
You, on the other hand, were unfazed by his request. Sure, it made perfect sense to share body heat with this man. Why the hell did he look so distraught over it - weirdo.
“Did Bear Grylls teach you that, Miller?” You look at him with a smirk playing on your lips. “If that’s the case, then we should probably sleep naked.”
That feeling that had laid dormant for so long, was beginning to reawaken and defrost at the thought of your warm, pliant, soft body being tucked up around him in close proximity. You were annoying, sure, and he could hardly tolerate your presence, but he couldn’t deny that you were a thing of beauty, and neither could his cock.
“No. Some reality TV star didn’t teach me the survival skills that I know, sweetheart. I’m jus’ that good.” He sounds cocky, full of himself and perhaps there’s a bit of eagerness detected in his tone? Maybe the dead giveaway is the way his cheeks flush, and this time it isn’t because of the cold.
You shrug and drop your pack and sleeping bag at your boots. “Whatever you say, Joel.”
He clears his throat and drops his hand from where it was resting against the back of his neck. He stares at you for a second longer than he would have liked to, and then announces that he’s going to go find some wood for a fire, and for you to stay put.
You wave him off and unroll your sleeping bag with a huff and begin to mentally question how the hell is this grizzly of a man going to fit inside of your sleeping bag? Oh well! Time to defy all the odds that have been stacked against you.
When Joel returns, he finds you already tucked away under the sleeping bag with your clothes neatly folded on top of your backpack. He managed to find a few fallen tree branches that would make good kindling, and some thicker logs for the base of the fire.
He avoids making direct eye contact with you as he crouches down and constructs a fire that he hopes to god will keep the two of you warm throughout the cold night ahead.
You already have taken notice of his suddenly quiet and almost docile demeanor with just your head visible and peeking out of the sleeping bag
“Are you sure that fire is going to last the night, Joel?”
His shoulders and back immediately tense from your question and you can already picture him clenching his jaw and muttering under his breath.
“Ain’t no tellin’ if it will last the night, sweetheart.” He stokes at the ember glowing logs with the end of a spare stick before looking over his shoulder at you. “Y’comfy in there?” His voice rasps, dipping down an octave and sounding much, much, lower.
“Yep.” You chirp. “Nice and cozy in here, Joel. Did I mention it’s very, very warm?”
He snorts under his breath, tearing his gaze away from you and focuses back on the fire. “Yeah. I bet it is.”
What you really want to say is: and it would be even warmer if you were here with me. But you refrain, and instead bury your face further into the contained warmth emitting from the sleeping bag.
Joel is hesitating, and that part couldn’t be anymore obvious based on his tense stature. Maybe he could just accept losing feeling in his fingers and toes instead of crossing that boundary with you. Or, he could man up and deal with the immediate feelings that would come as soon as his hands would inevitably touch your warm skin.
“Joel?”
Your voice tears him away from his thoughts briefly. “Hm?”
“Aren’t you..cold?”
Freezing. My cock and balls are about to fuckin’ fall off.
“M’fine.” He insists.
“So goddamn stubborn.” He hears you mutter under your breath followed by the sound of the sleeping bag zipper being pulled down. “Get in here before you freeze to death. I’m serious, Joel.”
“Fuck off. I said m’fine.” He grumbles and turns over his shoulder to look at you once more. His eyes catch a sliver of skin, a nipple peeking out from under the fabric as you were sitting up. His head whips around so fast he swears that his brain just got rattled around in his skull.
“Would you just be a fucking man and take your clothes off and get in here?”
So impatient, he thinks.
“You jus’ wanna see me naked.” He quips back.
“For fuck sakes, Joel. I just don’t want you to freeze out here. Is that so hard to believe?”
Yes.
“Jus’..don’t peek. Alright?” He slowly stands up from his place alongside the fire as he starts to shuck his heavy coat off his shoulders.
“Fine. I won’t peek, okay? Scouts honor.” You promise him and bring your hand over your eyes to cover them.
He’s grumbling to himself the whole time as he begins to undress. He bitches about the cold, his cock, and his nearly frozen toes as you listen quietly to the sound of his belt buckle being undone. He does not fold his clothes neatly like you did and instead they are left in a pile near the fire. He dashes for your sleeping bag, yanking the zipper down in a fury and climbs inside.
It’s a tight fit indeed with barely any room for him to squeeze in but he makes it work.
“Fuck!” His yell is muffled as he struggles to make himself comfortable in what little space he has. “Fuckin’ cannot believe I actually listened to you.” He rubs his hands together, blowing hot air between them.
“Oh, shut up, you big baby.” You stifle a laugh which earns you a displeased glare. “We wouldn’t be in this mess if you just would have—”
“Do not start with me, sweetheart. Don’t you fuckin’ dare.” His brows furrow and his jaw is clenched so tightly, you’re shocked that it hasn’t shattered.
“You’re all bark and no bite, Joel.” You mutter back and roll over onto your side so your back is facing him. You close your eyes and fully intend to get some much needed and deserved sleep, but the man beside you is squirming and making a big fuss.
“Darlin’ I know you ain’t want anythin’ to do with a man like me, but it was your idea for us to get naked under here..so all I’m askin’ is—”
“Just do whatever it is you need to do, Joel. Can you just be quiet about it? All I want to do right now is sleep, and your fussing about is making that really fucking difficult for me to achieve.” You snap.
“Are you givin’ me permission, sweetheart? Cus’ the last thing I want is for you to bite my damn fingers off if I touch you. So as long as it’s alright with you..” he trails off and you take matters into your own hands by reaching behind you and finding his cold hands and yanking them around your body. You couldn’t help but yelp from the stark difference of temperature from your body heat to his hands.
“You’re fucking freezing, Joel.” You state the obvious and he rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. I didn’t exactly have time to warm them up, sweetheart. My apologies that my hands aren’t at the right temperature for ya.” You think you hear him snicker under his breath, but maybe it’s just his close proximity that makes you hear things.
“Whatever. It’s fine.” You reassure him.
His hands are big, huge, and the skin on his palms and fingers are rough. The feeling overall is quite pleasant, and soon enough his hands don’t feel like an ice block - quite the opposite actually.
He grunts softly as attempts to make himself comfortable without pressing himself into your back. It’s proving to be a challenge as it is, and he has this feeling deep in the pit of his stomach, that this challenge is going to get the best of him.
“What’s wrong now, Joel?” You try to ignore the way his thumbs are gently stroking the space between the curve of your breasts and under your rib cage, and how his touch on your skin is beginning to light a fire in your belly, and between your thighs. His touch is gentle and it’s making your head spin with need and desire.
“I jus’—I don’t wanna make y’feel uncomfortable s’all.” He admits, voice rasping deeply. “I’m fuckin’ freezin’, darlin’ but I don’t wanna—”
“Just shut up and stick your dick in me, Joel. You’ll be warmer then.” You surprise both yourself and him.
His meaty palms squeeze you gently, fingertips kneading the flesh as he inhales a shaky, yet audible breath. The tight confines of your shared sleeping bag suddenly feel ten times tighter, and hotter. It’s suffocating in a delicious sense that you and Joel are stuck here together in this rather..unfortunate situation. You hate him, and he hates you, yet the thought of his thick cock nestling between your thighs sounds like absolute heaven on a plate right now.
Joel thinks he’s on the verge of passing out from your vulgar statement. It’s been god knows how long since he’s felt the warmth of a woman’s body around his cock. It’s been too goddamn long, he thinks.
“..well, if you’re askin.’” He whispers as his hands maneuver your body to press back against him. One strong arm anchors itself around your waist, engaging you in a warm hold when you feel his hard, broad chest pressing against your back. You haven’t even seen his cock, yet you already can tell that he’s big. The word big might not even be able to describe the massive size that is Joel Miller.
“This doesn’t mean anything. Right, Joel?” You ask through the thick growing tension that coils itself around you and the burly man beside you like a snake.
“Doesn’t mean nothin’ at all, sweetheart. Jus’ sharin’ body heat for survival, like you said.” He rasps and blows a hot puff of air against the back of your neck as his strong thighs wrap around your own. Even this man’s feet are fucking huge in every sense.
Y’know what they say about big feet? An even bigger—heart. I was going to say heart.
“Okay.” You squeak out as you relax further into his hold around you.
“Can you jus’ let me know if you’re uncomfortable at any point? Cus’ if that’s the case, I’ll slip right out. No questions asked, sweetheart.”
You couldn’t help but giggle at his apparent nervousness. It was sweet, in a Joel-like fashion. Hell must have frozen over right then and there because the Joel you had grown so accustomed to, was anything but sweet.
“Wow. You sure know how to romance a lady up, Miller. Did Tommy teach you how to do that?” You couldn’t help but wiggle your ass back against him. The thought of reaching down between your thighs and touching yourself crossed your mind, but you refrained.
He laughed, and it sent a wave of arousal gushing like a river because his laugh was beautiful. It was music to your fucking ears.
“Shut the fuck up.” His teeth grazed at the spot where your neck meets your jaw. He bit down, drawing blood to the surface of his indentation in your skin. “I taught Tommy everythin’ he needs to know on romancin’ a woman. Don’t get it twisted, sweetheart.”
“Sure, sure. Whatever you say, big boy.” You nearly purred. Your back arched towards him, a suppressed moan desperate to be set free when his teeth marked you.
“I think someone is a bit too eager over this whole arrangement that we have found ourselves in.” He comments in a low rasp and his hand drifts down from your hip and nudges your thighs apart with a practiced ease. His heavy cock pressed firmly against your lower back as he let out another praising grunt from between his lips.
“Stop playing with me, Joel. I don’t want to be played with.” You hiss under your breath when you feel the backside of his knuckles slowly drag through the seam of your cunt.
“Y’sure about that, sweetheart? If you don’t wanna be played with, then what do you want?”
Frankly, he’s taking too long for your liking and you decided then and there to take matters into your own hands; literally. You reach between your bodies before he even has a chance to protest as you blindly search for his cock. Your warm palm barely fits around the girth of him.
“I want you to take your cock and stretch me open, Joel. Think you can handle that? Best not keep a lady waiting. It’s awfully rude.” You tsk under your breath.
He growls as his hips buck upwards into your hand like he’s never felt the touch of a woman’s palm before in his life.
“Fine. I like a woman that knows exactly what she wants, anyway. Won’t keep ya waitin’ any longer, princess.”
Joel Miller is a man of his word and just when you think he’s bluffing, you feel the thick press of the head of his cock sliding through your slick folds and notching at your entrance.
He groans against your ear, jaw clenching, and teeth grinding because you’re tight and hugging him like a fucking fist.
“Jesus fuck. That’s a tight cunt if I’ve ever felt one.” He rasps as you slowly pull him in further at the rate that he pushes his hips. Soon, he’s bottomed out with his hips firmly pressed into your ass. His legs stay tangled through yours as his arms come to wrap you up in his hold once more.
“Fuck.” You breathe, lashes fluttering as he stretches you open. He fits snuggly, almost as if your pussy was making a home for his cock to stay there awhile, all cozy and warm with you. “See? Was that so fucking difficult?”
He shakes his head and you swear you can feel him grinning against your skin. “Nope. It wasn’t difficult at all, sweetheart. In fact, I think I’ll stay here awhile.” Yeah, he’s definitely enjoying this.
You smile at this, burying your face into the solid muscle of his bicep, pressing the lightest kiss there. Maybe you even nibbled on it, and maybe he chuckled and pulled you in even closer.
“Stay as long as you’d please, Joel.” You whisper softly.
Come morning the embers from the fire had long since died out, and the storm had since passed. You and Joel were still a bunch of tangled limbs and connected warmth by the time Tommy and the rest of patrol had found you.
Joel had since grown soft with his cock still buried deep within your warmth and his face was buried in your neck with peaceful snores slipping past his plush lips. His eyes barely peeked open when he heard familiar voices muffled, yet nearby. Tommy had just brushed a bit of snow off the top of the sleeping bag and pulled the zipper down when he was met with a sight that he wasn’t expecting.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” He chuckled and shot his big brother a cheeky wink.
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soapssuds · 1 month ago
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to you, from us
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gojo satoru x reader, table of contents
whereas satoru makes it a habit to record messages for his future kids ever since he met you. "dear future kids, fortunately, I have met your mother. unfortunately, we will be embarrassing you daily."
based off of this drabble , decided to bring this one back ヽ(*´▽)ノ♪
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@greyrain23
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i. if i had to pick a color
when gojo meets you for the first time, his world literally stops turning. his heart is beating fast, his cheeks are turning a bright, hot red, and his hands, oh god, his hands are so fucking sweaty. is he actually nervous?!
ii. rely on me
you and him go on a mission alone together. his mind just won't stop racing and you start to notice his scatterbrain.
iii. what my heart wants
gojo couldn't deny his heart. not with the way it thumps so loud every time he is near you. so he decides to avoid you. distance is a good thing, right?
iv. december was always cold
despite his birthday being in december. it was always so cold. always spent alone. and yet, you enter his day like a blizzard. a whirlwind of snow unyielding to any other element blocking your path to him.
v. if the world was kinder
a new year meant moving on as second years in jujutsu tech. it also meant new underclassmen. new missions. new troubles. yet you both never thought your troubles would deal with the star plasma vessel.
vi. some people never stay the same
after the star plasma vessel incident. gojo pushes forward to become stronger. not once realizing what was going on with geto or what was going on ... with you.
vii. maybe if i got on one knee
arguing with you was never the plan. he was a dumb teenager. always was and always has been. he hopes that getting on one knee could change the trajectory of both everything and everywhere at once.
viii. my happiness and what comes from it
as a new teacher at jujutsu tech, he hopes he will be making a difference. but it wasn't like he had to worry with you backing him up.
ix. for their youth
yuta okkotsu was cursed. geto was finally making his move. and you were about to give birth (again). nothing is ever easy. but he could manage.
x. i'm the strongest
with yuta, maki, toge, and panda safely becoming second years, gojo wonders what the new first years have in store for him. especially with sukuna involved.
xi. if i can save you in shibuya
mishaps are bound to happen. him being sealed wasn't supposed to be one of them. but he wasn't worried. you could always handle yourself.
xii. i'd win
life moves on. things change. that includes you, and it includes sukuna, too, apparently. he wasn't worried. he couldn't be. he could handle everything by himself.
xiii. to you, from us
your youngest keeps pressing replay, yet your oldest keeps pressing forward.
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i-drop-level-one-loot · 1 year ago
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*NSFW* I'll keep you warm (Yandere!Lynx Shifter X GN!Reader)
CW: Intense temperature exposure , Yandere behavior, dub-con, dead dove, imprisonment/abduction
Inspired by @lonelyafacy 's monster suggestion ❤️
Mother Nature was a cruel and indifferent witch, unforgiving towards those foolish enough to tread her wilderness. (Reader) smacked their dying flashlight, becoming numb to the harsh winter cold through their snowsuit.
The weather had turned for the worse, changing from a snowy winter's day into a blizzard that lasted into the night, separating (Reader) from their group. Their lips were stuck together with frozen blood, and their eyes could barley stay open. The snow coming down was deceptively sharp, nicking their cheeks above the slipping scarf and turning their skin into fragile paper.
Although they pushed on, trying to use the stars amongst the flurry of white as their guide, their limbs were losing their feeling, and (Reader) was beginning to wonder if it was worth the battle. The flashlight flickered again as though it could hear their thoughts. (Reader's) knees buckled, causing them to collapse by the base of a tree. They pulled their limbs in under their body, and fell unconscious, incapable of keeping themselves awake through the cold.
Am I dead?
(Reader) smelled something cooking before they realized they felt warmth. They hadn't been anywhere near civilization, so the first semi coherent thought they had was that they had died and this was heaven. Until their muscles began twitching in pain. A large hand pressed (Reader) back into a mound of furs when they forced themselves to move. The hand was warm and strong, even through the blankets (Reader) could feel it.
"Sleep." A gravelly voice commanded.
(Reader) kept their eyes closed, face mostly buried in the cloud like bedding. "Where am I?"
"My home. I found you outside." The unknown man responded while moving around the home, floorboards creaking under his weight. "Sleep more. It'll hurt less." His sentences were short and curt, but (Reader) didn't mind. Whoever he was had saved their life, so he couldn't be too bad of a person. (Reader) fell asleep again.
After thirteen hours (Reader) woke up and was able to sit up without pain, still feeling exhausted despite sleeping for such a long time. Their stomach hurt from hunger. "Hello?" They called out for whoever had rescued them.
A giant entered into view, wearing a hood that obscured his face from (Reader). He held out a wooden bowl filled with some kind of stew. "Can you eat?"
(Reader) reached out from the blankets, immediately going into shock when they saw their own naked arms. "Where are my clothes?"
"Drying. You think I'd put you sopping wet in my bed?"
Embarrassed, (Reader) turned red, ashamed for doubting their hero for even a second. They grabbed the bowl, thanking the man quietly.
"The blizzard has gotten worse. Even I can't leave right now. Once the storm has passed I'll point you in the direction you need to go. Until then, stay warm. Heal up."
"...Thank you."
"You already said that."
"That was for the food. Thank you for saving me."
Although he had his back turned to (Reader) they could see him tense under their words. (Reader) assumed he was uncomfortable with their presence, based on how he kept his face hidden. "My name is (Reader)."
"You don't need to know my name." The man's response was almost panicked, growling as he stormed out of the room.
(Reader) was left upset over the fact that they seemed to anger their savior. He must be anti social..
They finished the bowl of stew and waited under the fur blankets, unable to take care of their dish without walking around in the nude. After some time he returned, taking the bowl without a word, his hand seemed huge in comparison to (Reader's).
"Thank you." They smiled up politely, hoping he was looking. The man shuddered again, hurrying away with the bowl. (Reader) cleared their throat. "Are my clothes dry yet?"
"Your jacket was frozen solid when I found you. It took a few hours just to thaw. Everything is still damp."
"Why were you outside in this weather?"
"I was on my way back from some last minute hunting and gathering."
"Ah, I see. Thank you. Again."
"There is no need to thank me." His body seemed to relax. (Reader) smiled, hoping that this meant they were wearing him down.
"You saved my life. I got separated from my friends and couldn't find my way in the dark. I would have died out there if it wasn't for you." (Reader) spoke as sincerely as they could. "You're my hero."
He took a deep breath. "I have... lived alone for a very long time. No one knows that I am here. I almost... left you, when I found you."
(Reader's) heart grew heavy with guilt. "I promise I won't tell anyone about you." They briefly imagined that under his cloak was a kind of Quasimodo esque being, who risked his identity to save them.
Even without seeing his face the man seemed surprised, turning to (Reader) and staring from under his hood.
"Cain."
(Reader) gave a large toothy grin. "It's nice to meet you, Cain."
They sat together in a strangely comfortable silence, before a gurgle reminded (Reader) that, unfortunately, they were still human. "Do you have a restroom?"
His relaxed demeanor stiffened again. "It is.. down the hall." He quickly handed an oversized shirt to (Reader) before turning his back for privacy, and pointes in the direction of the facilities.
(Reader) threw the shirt on without thinking too much about it, and painfully hopped to the toilet. The building was a cozy little cabin, (Reader) was just now realizing, with pictures hung up on the wall of a family. They wondered if it was Cain's family. But the need to go was stronger than their curiosity.
They collapsed onto the toilet before realizing that there was an odd smell in the bathroom. It wasn't the normal bad stench of a toiletries, but it smelled rotten.
In the corner of the room was a pile of clothes, and other than that the restroom seemed to be empty, with nothing that could be causing such a smell standing out to (Reader). (Reader) didn't want to be snoopy, but... They finished hurriedly, praying that Cain couldn't hear them, and picked up the clothing. The clothes were heavy, torn into shreds and soaked in old, dried blood. A chill ran down (Reader's) spine. Cain didn't want anyone to know he was here. He considered leaving me to die to keep that secret.
How far could I make it in just a shirt?
They left the restroom, trying their best to appear normal. The family on the walls taunted them. Did the blood belong to one of them?
Cain sat by the fire, still hiding under his cloak. Next to him was (Reader's) clothes, hung up on the back of a chair. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions. (Reader) sighed, placing a hand on their heart to muffle it's pounding. He still saved me.
(Reader) touched their shirt, feeling the warm dampness and was relieved, because it meant Cain hadn't been lying about that at least. "How long do you think this storm will last?"
"Hopefully just the night. It could last up to a week though."
They shivered at the thought. "Do you have a couch I can sleep on? I wouldn't want to take your bed. Again."
"You can take the bed."
"I'm really fine-"
"Take the bed."
(Reader) could feel the adrenaline shoot to the tips of their toes. "O-okay." Although there was a smile on their face, the previous comfort they felt around Cain was dead. They had trusted him so much simply because he rescued them that they had forgotten that Cain was still a stranger.
Cain grabbed (Reader's) wrist as they passed, his hand engulfing their forearm with his inhumanly large mits. The air became heavy, and (Reader) could feel their arm sweating in his strong grasp.
"Your hand smells like blood."
Frightened, (Reader) smacked at Cain with their free hand, knocking his hood back. Although his face looked only a few years older than (Reader) his shaggy hair was a light grey, and atop his head were two pointed ears, pressed back against his scalp. If it weren't for the coloration, (Reader) CO m wouldn't have noticed the ears at all with how flatly they laid against his head. Shocked, he released (Reader's) arm, giving them enough time bolt out the front door, back into the blizzard.
Snowflakes pierced their skin as they ran, and the warmth they had gained in the cabin was gone the moment they left it's protective embrace, robbed by the harsh environment. Barefoot, (Reader) ran in a random direction, not capable of rational thought. With fight, flight, or freeze, they learned in that moment what kind of person they were.
Between the clouds masking the stars and the onslaught of snow, (Reader) was left completely blind. Without any clothes it felt like their muscles were shredding in their legs. (Reader's) legs gave out much more easily than they had the first time.
(Reader) could barely hear Cain's footsteps above the roar of the wind. Through the trees a large grey monster stalked into view, walking on its hind legs like a man, it's terrifying size was more reminiscent of a bear's. It's ears were flattened, and there was an almost human like expression of disappointment on its face.
"What were you thinking, running off into the woods?" It's voice was hoarse, but it was recognizably Cain's.
As he approached his fur receded, shrinking back down into his more human form, still with animal ears, now naked in the snow. He bent over (Reader's) violently shivering form as they crumbled.
"Did you forget that there was a storm?"
(Reader's) eyes stung as they tried to cry. "Please don't kill me." They weakly pleaded.
"Why would I save you, only to kill you later?" His warm breath thawed (Reader's) cheek. "You were unconscious for a long time when I found you. I thought you were dead. Unlike myself, you needed shelter suitable for a human. So I took one. I didn't have time to clean up everything. I needed to bring back everything I had caught to begin preparing a meal for when you awoke and making it comfortable for when I would eventually make you mine, so I was hoping that you would understand. That I killed them for you."
Cain's hot tongue licked (Reader's) cheek, the juxtaposition between the extreme cold and his sudden warmth made their skin feel like it was being torn off. (Reader) gasped out in pain, too cold to scream.
"I really did almost leave you in the snow. Because what if you left? Found out what I was and told the other humans? But look at you... Were you even conscious when you begged me to save you? Or was that your body acting on its own?" Cain got onto his knees, his skin searing (Reader's) flesh. His fingers digging into their shoulders felt like flames dancing across their body. Each touch from Cain burned. It was neither comforting nor pleasant.
"Ah, but now you're nearly frozen, yet again. Do you want me to warm you up?" Everytime Cain shifted his weight above (Reader), they were exposed to the blistering wind. As the parts of them hidden under Cain's body warmed up in his unnatural heat, the more excruciating the exposure to the outside was.
Tears melted (Reader's) fragile eyes. "Please, warm me up, Cain." Their primitive need for survival made (Reader) beg like a pathetic coward.
The loving smile on Cain's face was brief, before his face began shifting, becoming the humanoid monster he was moments earlier. Dwarfing the terrified human, he ran his rough tongue across their cold body, purposely allowing their body to freeze without his touch before warming (Reader) back up. He relished in the needy whimpers escaping (Reader's) lips as they suffered in the deadly temperature. (Reader) grasped at Cain's fur, trying to pull him in to steal his heat.
Clawed paws grabbed (Reader's) thighs, pressing their knees to their head uncomfortably. (Reader's) eyes widened in horror as Cain revealed his cock, resting it across their exposed bottom. They didn't have time to protest before their body was folded into a mating press, no preparation for their tightened hole, no warning to help them relax. Cain pressed his tip to the opening, and snapped his hips into (Reader's), thrusting in his entire member without lubricant.
Cain's dick was already hot, but with the added pain of the sudden insertion it was like being fucked by an iron poker. The scream (Reader) couldn't find earlier now ripped through their throat, the sound of their agony drowned out by the howling wind.
(Reader) pushed Cain away in surprise, but immediately regretted the action when he playfully leaned back, allowing (Reader's) chest to be assaulted by the snow and hail pelting them from all sides. They pulled him back, cringing at how Cain chuckled in their ear.
He fucked them in the snow, pressing deep into their gut painfully, and humiliating (Reader) further by licking away their tears as they sobbed under his body, incapable of pushing him away. Cain could stop at any moment, but the threat of frost bite kept (Reader) latching onto him, begging him not to let go. Their desperate cries only encouraged Cain to continue teasing them, watching with glee as their skin chapped and bled without his touch.
"It hurts..." (Reader) moaned as they pulled him in deeper.
"If you keep whining like that you'll only make me cum faster." Cain threatened, biting (Reader's) neck to hold in a gasp when they tightened around him. Their knees smacked into their temples as his pace sped up, his twitching cock threatening to release deep inside (Reader).
"No! Don't cum inside me!" (Reader) blubbered into the monster's fur.
(Reader) felt a wave of heat blast inside them as Cain pumped his thick load into their raw hole. As they wept loudly Cain continued happily smacking his wet pelvis into his beloved's, just the action of fucking his seed into them turning him on again.
Cain was already planning their futures together, as (Reader) imagined their death. This wouldn't be so bad, fucking (Reader) like this; purposefully keeping them needy so they clung to him like they wanted it.
Maybe one day, (Reader) would love him in the same way as Cain loved them, and would beg Cain to make love to them, but for now, he was content fucking them like a desperate, wild animal.
Blood from the wind burns and from the tearing from rough sex stained the white white under their bodies. Cain turned back into a human so he could kiss (Reader) passionately, taste their mouth salty from their tears.
"Let's go home, (Reader)."
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icycoldninja · 8 months ago
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Don't leave me (Sephiroth x Reader angst)
Summary: Sephiroth's abandonment issues get the better of him in the middle of the night, so he goes to you, seeking comfort.
---‐------------------------------------------------------------‐--------------Sleep was never easy for Sephiroth thanks to the shadows, voices, and eerie bits of music that often plagued his thoughts. His mind, when allowed to wander, was often like a bitter, wintery blizzard, with everything swirling around in one, massive, confusing, mental storm. In order to keep the storm from growing too large, Sephiroth often kept busy throughout the day, focusing his mind on productive, stimulating activities such as exercising, scheming in his office, or tracking down Cloud and his accomplices.
However, at nighttime, when his brain was exhausted and craved sleep, such activities were very difficult to complete, therefore, he turned to more ordinary practices of keeping his mind occupied, which, unsurprisingly, did not work. Math problems were easy for him, as were crossword puzzles, spot the difference games, hidden object puzzles, etc. Sephiroth could work through an entire high-school math textbook in under 2 hours and say it was "child's play". This level of genius was purely astonishing, and also maddening, as his troubled thoughts, of which there were plenty, were also very disruptive.
Sighing, the man rolled over in his bed and draped his heavy, fluffy wing over his face like most humans would with a pillow. Why couldn't he sleep?! What would it take for his goddamn brain to shut off and let him rest already?! He was so tired, he could feel his eyeballs ache, but he just couldn't rest. Why?
The swirling storm in Sephiroth's head raged on; he closed his eyes and gripped his pillow tightly, trying desperately to remember what falling asleep felt like so he could ascertain whether or not he was making progress.
Several more minutes passed, and Sephiroth felt his brain fog over. He relaxed completely, willing his consciousness to slip into darkness and finally, finally, allow him to rest. He expected to plunge into fuzzy nothingness, but was instead met with a cold, dark, empty void.
All around him, he could hear laughter. Deranged laughter; laughter he'd heard almost all day of every day during his childhood. How he hated that laugh. Sephiroth turned around, only to find that same man standing before him in the familiar, pristine lab coat that he knew so well.
Hojo.
He was glad he couldn't speak; to utter his name aloud would have stained and corrupted his tongue. He glared at the man with contempt, wishing he would just leave already. He'd seen enough of that cruel bastard, he didn't need to see any more. Hojo smiled at him, his thin lips twisting into a devious smirk. Looking at it made Sephiroth's blood boil. Where was Masamune? Now would be a perfect time to use it.
Hojo's smile slowly faded, his expression turning from evil glee to disgust. He was regarding Sephiroth with disgust. How dare he?! Sephiroth watched as he turned around and walked away, shaking his head. Good riddance, he thought. He never wanted to look at scum like Hojo anyway. Turning around once again, Sephiroth came face to face with a being he never expected to see in a place like this. His own, beloved mother: Jenova.
Now Sephiroth was beginning to wish he could speak. He wanted to tell his mother how glad he was to see her here, how much he loved her, how thankful he was to her for his mere existence. He tried to reach out to touch her, but she recoiled, frowning in repulsion. What was wrong? What did he do to make her feel this way? Sephiroth was at a complete loss; all he ever did was for his mother, so why wasn't she embracing him? Why....why didn't she love him?
Panicking slightly, Sephiroth extended his hands in her direction once again, but Jenova stepped back. Shaking her head at him, just as Hojo had done, the entity whom Sephiroth had dedicated nearly everything he did to turned her back on him.
Now he was scared. The darkness was more than just that; it was an all-consuming maw mace of his own twisted, fearful thoughts. He didn't want this; he hated being alone like this. Why did everyone leave? What did he do wrong?
The stormy void closed in around Sephiroth, surrounding him in a cloud of fear. He didn't like this, he didn't want to sleep anymore, he wanted to wake up!
And he did, springing upright in a cold sweat, panting heavily. His wing flapped loudly against the bed, shedding feathers everywhere. He looked around and saw he was the only person in the room, this notion terrifying him even further. In a fit of frenzied hysteria, Sephiroth flung the covers aside and stumbled out of his room, not caring that he was bashing various body parts against the door trim. He ended up in the living room, where you were still awake, working on the couch. As soon as he appeared in the darkened room, you stopped what you were doing and turned to him, confused. His legs, clad only in pajama shorts, were visibly and violently trembling; an unusual occurrence.
"Seph?" You asked, standing up and walking towards him. "Are you alright?" He shook his head, nearly collapsing into your arms. You cradled him for a while, pressing soft kisses to his cheek, waiting patiently to see if he would explain the reasons for his distress. After a few moments, he began to sob.
"Don't leave me," He croaked, clinging onto you tightly. "Don't leave me too...." You sighed softly, before taking his head into your hands and kissing him.
"I'm not leaving you, ever," You told him, running your hands through his long, silky locks. "I'm gonna be here forever. Don't be afraid." Sephiroth nodded, then sniffled and wiped his tears away. "Come on," You said, taking him by the hand and leading him back to his bedroom. "I'll stay with you tonight."
Needless to say, Sephiroth fell asleep easier than ever that night; the comfort of your presence, and the knowledge that you would never leave him lulling him into peaceful slumber.
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oddballwriter · 5 months ago
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A Mother's Love
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Summary: Your mother would take in anybody so of course she takes in your boyfriends and treats them like they're her own.
Warnings: Mention and reference to Marc and his mom. Nothing else really. 
Author’s Snip: I saw this post talking about how Steven would love being taken in by your mom when you started dating a long time ago, but I don't know where it is or who made it so if you're seeing this thank you so much for the idea.
Notes: Our boys deserve the world <3 
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.
Word Count: 741
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Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction
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Your mother was what everyone might describe as the most nicest person to ever exist. You truly believed that she held no anger, hatred, or judgment in her body and if you ever found out that she did then it's most likely deserved. The day you see your mother yell at someone will be that hell has frozen over and gets a blizzard.
She raised you with the same morals and love that she held and was so supportive of everything you did in life regardless of if it seemed strange or different to her. She was a saint and fully of so much love.
So when you started getting serious with Marc and thus Steven and Jake, you knew that your mom would understand and welcome them in with open arms regardless of their situation and life. And that was true. You had told her about them, and when you reached the part of the relationship where they wanted to meet your family, she was so excited to meet them.
After meeting each one of them on different occasions and learning how to tell them apart, they were as good as adopted and she treated them like they were her own, proudly telling each of them "You can just call me mom now.".
Marc took a while to get used to it, on many different levels.
There was the obvious one. Your mom was so accepting and understanding of him. She was so nice and made sure everything she made was made with love and in consideration of how he liked them. At the first dinner with your family, she made a dish with an ingredient that he didn't like that much but still ate. He didn't tell her about it out of fear that she might be insulted but he told you, you then mentioned it to your mom, and the next time she made it she made a portion that didn't have the ingredient. You never said anything but you could tell that Marc was barely holding it together and trying not to cry.
You never told your mom in full detail about Marc and his mom out of respect and let him tell that story when he wanted to, you just told her that he didn't have what you and her have and that her gestures might get a reaction out of him. You also didn't know if Marc ever did tell her everything, but what you do know is that she's gotten it into him that "I'm your mom now".
You're pretty sure Steven has completely redirected his mama's boy instincts towards your mom too. He helps her cook dinner, set the table, and even helps clean the dishes. You knew that he longed for that sort of connection after being told about how he used to do that when he thought their mom was still alive and has he remembered her, so it didn't take you by complete surprise when he basically imprinted on your mom but it's still kind of funny. One time when they joined in on a family vacation your mom told him that he should put on more sunscreen, to which he then did, and then asked her if she thought that it was enough. Someday you're going to hear him on the phone with her like you were told he used to, you can feel it.
Jake is what you would call the classic son-in-law to your mom. He loves her to bits and appreciates her and her kindness, but he still messes with her a little and she does it back. They will actively pull light-hearted pranks and jabs at each other, it's the cutest thing ever. Jake has also become her and your father's unofficial handyman. Your dad does just fine fixing stuff up but they use him as an extra pair of hands. You will never forget the day your mom called him because their car broke down and your dad couldn't figure it out, and when Jake asked if they called a mechanic she said "Why call and have to pay one when you can do it for free?". That sounds like they freeload off of him but he doesn't mind. Jake likes the feeling of being wanted and being a helping hand.
Overall, life is pretty good when you have a mom who takes in your boyfriend and his alters and basically becomes their mom.
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thefreakandthehair · 11 months ago
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steddie | rating: m | wc: 955 | tags: established relationship, use of cake as a metaphor, they're so in love your honor | art credit: @firefly-party
Eddie Munson celebrates two birthdays every year: the day he was actually born, December 19th, and the day he woke up in the hospital, April 8th. Funny enough, the latter is usually a bigger celebration. Family and friends that no longer exist in separate groups come together with all of Eddie’s foods and drinks, small gifts and sometimes, a bigger gift from the collective.
Try as they might, they’ve yet to top the Metallica tickets. 
But today is Eddie’s original birthday. December 19th— the one that’s usually swallowed up by the holidays, the one that really doesn’t mean all that much to him because, well, compared to waking up after saving the world, why would it? The last few celebrations have been tight-knit, mostly just himself, Wayne, and Steve either at Wayne’s trailer or the tiny little apartment Steve and Eddie managed to find for themselves. 
This year, it’s just the two of them with no one to blame but Mother Nature. A blizzard drops nearly three feet of snow over northeastern Indiana and no one is going anywhere, least of all Wayne whose getting up there in years. We'll make up for it later, Eddie assures him when he calls with a stream of apologies. 
How can he complain though? Wayne will make up for it, he’s snowed in with the love of his life, and the apartment smells like his favorite pasta sauce, the one he knows takes Steve hours to simmer. So no, he’s not disappointed. Not in the slightest. 
“Sorry your day got snowed out,” Steve sighs, plopping down onto the couch and draping an arm along the back of the couch, toying with the ends of Eddie’s hair. “I did get you a surprise though.” 
Eddie’s brow furrows, knitting tightly above his nose. There’s been no mail for two days, and their apartment doesn’t exactly lend itself to keeping secrets. “A surprise? What kinda surprise?”
“Well,” Steve smirks, confident in the way that always makes something stir in Eddie’s chest. “It’s not a birthday without a cake.” 
He’s so fucking lost. 
“A cake? We’ve been snowed in since Sunday and I would’ve smelled you baking in here. Also, I would’ve tasted it already, or at least demanded to lick the spoon so— wait, what are you doing?” 
Steve stands up and walks around the back of the couch, just behind Eddie. “Just close your eyes, okay? Or do I need to blindfold you?”
He can hear Steve’s smug grin without even seeing his face and now it’s not just his chest stirring. Eddie shifts I’m his seat. 
“No, no I can just close my eyes. Put a pin in the blindfold idea though.“ 
With his eyes closed, all he can do is imagine what the rustling is behind him, scenarios that will never compare to the sight he sees when Steve gives him the all clear. 
“Okay,” Steve says, his voice now coming from directly in front of Eddie. “Open.”
Very funny, brain, he thinks. My entire life since the demobats has to have been just one long, final burst of dopamine before kicking the bucket because there’s absolutely no way this is fucking real. 
Steve’s standing in front of him, shirtless, in nothing but some of the tightest shorts he’s seen Steve wear since the time he blindly walked into Scoops Ahoy asking for rum raisin and instead, got a fucking show. They’re dark maroon in hue with the word Cake printed in white script across the entirety of Steve’s ass. Moles litter his skin from the base of his neck down the flesh of his thighs, and the small indentation in his lower back is highlighted by the low waistband. Barely noticeable cuts in the sides expose what looks like black lace detailing. 
“Holy shit,” Eddie groans, unable to stop himself from reaching out and touching the soft, cotton material. 
“Yeah?” Steve looks over his shoulder with a knowing smile. “You like it?” 
Eddie fingers trace the font and he doesn’t even dare to blink. If it is a coma dream, he doesn’t want to risk waking up. “Do I like it? If I ever say no to that, Steve, take me into a field and off me because I’ve been replaced by the body snatchers.” 
Steve laughs and Eddie pulls him in closer, one hand on Steve’s hip and the other working its way up Steve’s thigh and beneath the fabric.
“Y’know,” Eddie starts, swallowing with a dry mouth around the lump in his throat. “There’s just one little problem with this birthday cake.”
“What?” Steve looks back over his shoulder again, this time confused. 
He gives his right cheek a light tap, just enough to relish in the way the plush flesh moves. “It’s not finished.”
“Oh yeah? What’s it need?” 
“You know I need my cakes frosted. And c’mon,” he leans forward and presses a kiss to Steve’s hairy thigh, just below the hem of the shorts. “Where’s the candle?”
Steve turns with a teasing grimace. “Did you just compare your dick to a candle?”
“Sure did. Is it working?” He smiles with his bottom lip between his teeth as he stands and places both hands in Steve’s hips. 
“I can’t believe it, but yeah, it kinda is.” Steve’s eyes flicker down to Eddie’s lips and back up. 
Eddie can barely get his thoughts in order, placing both hands on either side of Steve’s face and kissing him between words. 
“Best.” He kisses his forehead. “Birthday.” He kisses his nose. “Ever.” He kisses his lips. 
They make their way back to the bedroom and no one can blame him for leaving Steve’s ass littered in purpling hickies and love bites. 
It’s a cake, after all.
art by @firefly-party to celebrate @sidekick-hero's birthday today! here's a little collaboration to honor our favorite Cake Enthusiast! Sandy, we love you and hope you have the absolute best day. go give her some love, everyone!
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ireadwithmyears · 1 year ago
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Absent mindedly making me want you
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Pairing: Ellie Williams / female reader
Word count : 12 K 💀 I swear it’s worth it I just really wanted a well rounded story even if this is just a one shot
Summary : 
Due to her first-hand experience when it comes to drowning, Ellie takes it upon herself to teach you how to swim. Something that neither of you had anticipated, however, was how intimate this endeavour would be, resulting in a day filled with unresolved sexual tension, that, unsurprisingly and inevitably comes to ahead
Tags/warnings : established relationship, soo much sexual tension, smut (18+, MDNI), porn with minor plot, dom/sub undertones, soft dom Ellie, submissive reader, inexperienced reader (first time), light hair pulling, unsafe lesbian sex, fingering, oral (F receiving), face sitting, lots of dirty talk(bc you cannot convince me that Ellie doesn’t have an absolutely filthy mouth), praise kink, overstimulation, forced orgasm, multiple orgasms, pussy slapping (just once), aftercare, fluff, no use of Y/N
“I’m sorry, wait, hold on. You’re telling me you’ve never learned how to swim?”
The settlement of Jackson has been dealing with, hopefully, the last of its winter storms for the year. Spring had crept its way around the corner, shining its promisingly hopeful rays of warm sunlight for a few, blissfully beautiful, but in the end, all two short days
But then, in what must be mother nature’s idea of a harmless joke, it was crudely snatched away and replaced with icy winds that seemed to settle within your very core, leaving you shivering long after you went inside to get warm. Wyoming had been hit with a blizzard that had caught everyone so off guard, that Jackson was ill-equipped and unprepared to handle it, leaving most of the community snowed in; workloads being much reduced and limited to essential services for the time being, until the snow abated.
This is how you and a group of friends found yourselves in Jesse’s living room, cradling mugs of hot chocolate, enjoying the warmth that seeped into your fingertips, and making a blanket fort as if you were still school children at a sleepover. The snowy days and lack of work seemed to bring out a childish side to everyone, which is how you found yourself engaged in a game of never have I ever, sitting in a tight circle with your friends and girlfriend who, up until a few seconds ago, had been absent mindedly playing with your hair, your head resting against her shoulder, where you had been quite content to stay.
But, she had now pulled back, looking at you with her eyebrows raised, lips quirked down quizzically, as if in thought. You look around at your friends, taking note of everyone else who’s never learned. You’re relieved to find that you’re not alone in this. As expected, the Jackson old-timers, the few of you who have been settled here almost your whole lives, or at least, as long as you could remember, had never encountered an environment that required the ability to swim.
“Nope, it’s never been necessary.” You shrug. 
She tilts her head, thinking, a few wisps of auburn hair escaping her ponytail as she regards you, teeth lightly grazing the bottom of her lip as she appears to be calculating an idea in her mind.
“As soon as it gets warm enough, I’m taking you out, and I'm gonna teach you. Joel taught me because he said that I would never know when it was a skill that would become necessary for me to have until it’s too late,” she says, nodding to herself decisively.
“Ah, I see your dad‘s passed off his overprotectiveness onto you,” you smirk, rolling your eyes fondly.
She hits you with a pillow for that. 
“Quiet, you,” she says in mock offense.
She pokes your belly lightly and you instinctively jump back with a surprised squeal. You hear the quiet amusement of your friends, Jesse barely containing a snort as he watches. You’re about to utter a retort when she reaches out, pulling you against her, settling you on her lap, where you happily go. 
When she presses a chaste kiss to your lips, hand settling at the back of your neck, fingers brushing against your skin, leaving goosebumps to form beneath their eager caresses, any kind of argument dies on your lips. Resistance melts as if it hadn’t been there in the first place, and all thoughts scatter like butterflies, only landing on the one thing that you care to focus on. 
It’s her, with her teasing lips and wandering hands, that explore and touch you as if she wants to know you, to memorize you, like you’re her well-kept and cherished secret. She is the only thing that surrounds your mind, the only one who holds your attention so easily, and it takes you a moment to shake yourself free of this haze. It’s strange, and euphoric, a kind of feeling that you’ve never felt before, and you find that you like it – instantly craving more the second that her lips leave yours.
She's kissed you plenty of times before, and though it’s always been an enjoyable experience for you, it’s never felt like that. You decide to file that information away for now; you’ll sort out whatever the fuck these new feelings are later. 
When you do come back to yourself, your head nestled against her shoulder, her arms wrapped around you as she looks down at you with warm, soft eyes, you think, yeah, you’ll let her teach you how to swim. You’ll let her do whatever she goddamn pleases, as long as it means that she’ll keep kissing you like that, and bringing out those good kind of butterflies that flutter in your stomach whenever she’s close to you.
*
To your surprise, Ellie makes good on her promise at the earliest opportunity.
In your experience, life is full of making plans and dreams that, more often than not, fall through. Even here, even in Jackson, where the walls are fortified and everyone is protected, the act of planning future endeavours is a luxury.
Spring finally comes , for real this time, with its customary blend of warmer weather that makes everyone instinctively turn their faces towards the sun, tentatively brushing its heat against their skin. And then, in complete juxtaposition, rain that starts in a slight drizzle that quickly descends into a downpour that sends those who’d ventured outside to appreciate the sunlight running back inside, scrambling to find cover, while quietly grumbling that they wish it was summer already, if only so that they could be freed from this topsy-turvy weather. 
Humans are funny like that, you suppose. Never fully able to live in the moment, always wishing for the next season the second spring reveals its more wild side. They forget that the scorching heat of summer will have them complaining and wishing for autumn to come faster in a few months.
Nonetheless, it’s early summer, and you find yourself riding astride Ellie’s mare, Hazel, whose step is light and carefree, tale gently swishing in the warm breeze as you make your way to a clearing with a lake, a few miles out from Jackson’s gates. You’ve taken up the rear position, head resting against your girlfriend's back, arms wrapped around her waist.
From her position, she can’t see the expression on your face, the way you worry. Your bottom lip is between your teeth until it starts to bleed, because quite honestly, you’re nervous. Your instinct is to hide your feelings from her, because it feels silly.  “A tough girl like you all freaked out over a little water?” You can almost hear her snark in your head. Logically, you know she wouldn’t say that, not to you, at least. But you can’t help but wonder if she’d think it. 
You also know, however, that the minute you’re off this horse and she turns to look at you, she’ll read right through any bullshit or lies you come up with in an instant. Ellie’s just that kind of person; able to read right through people without them even having to say a word. So, as the bird chatter accompanies the beat of Hazel’s hooves against the ground, you speak, softly, tentatively, half-wishing that she won’t hear, almost hoping that your words will be carried off in the slight breeze that ruffles the braid against your back, delicately freeing strands of your hair.
“You know, I’m actually kinda fucking scared to do this,” you figure if you’re going to admit this, it’s just best to rip the Band-Aid off. 
She holds the reins one-handed as her other comes to squeeze your wrist gently. 
“Can you tell me why?”
You sigh, feeling your cheeks heat with embarrassment as you rest your chin against her shoulder. She’s so warm and steady, confident and self-assured in a way that you couldn’t even attempt to replicate. 
She senses your unease, moving her thumb beneath the thin material of your sweater, stroking against the skin of your inner wrist. She lets it rest at the point where she feels your pulse lightly fluttering beneath her. 
“Hey.” Her voice is soft, encouraging, “Talk to me, Sweetheart, you’ve got absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.” 
Her thumb resumes its movement, stroking back-and-forth along the inside of your wrist, soothing away the knot that’s begun to tie itself in your stomach.
“It’s stupid, I know. It’s just, I’m scared that I’m gonna drown, or something dumb like that,” you roll your eyes, feeling a little bit pathetic. 
“It’s not stupid,” you’re not surprised that she’s come to your defence so quickly, but the conviction in her voice gives you pause.
She continues, “I almost drowned, once. Well, I guess it wasn’t almost, I did drown, though I don’t remember the details. It was before Joel had taught me how to swim, probably what made him decide that he had to. But, when he did, it took me the longest time to get over my fear. Every time I so much as touched the water, my mind would bring me back to that moment where I thought I was about to die.”
Her voice is sheepish, nonchalant, but you scoot closer to her on the saddle nonetheless, wrapping your arms just a little tighter around her waist.
“My point is, if you would have seen me when I was fourteen, the way Joel would have to coax me into the water bit by bit, you wouldn’t believe I’m the same person now. Now, I can be assured that whenever I go into the water, nothing’s going to happen to me that I can’t handle.” 
She takes your hand in hers, and her voice is completely serious when she speaks now.
“Baby, you know I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, right?” 
In spite of your nerves, you know the answer to this question immediately. It’s not even a question, really, you know without even having to think about it that she’ll keep you safe, protect you with her life if necessary, and you nod aggressively, even before she finishes speaking.
“I know, Elles.”
She gives your hand a squeeze. 
“Good, because if my 14-year-old freshly traumatized from actually drowning ass can learn how to swim, I am fully confident in your abilities.”
Hazel trots on, and for the first time since you headed out today, you feel a genuine smile pulling the corners of your lips upward, your laughter accompanying the birdsong as you ride on.
*
“That’s it, just lean back into me, I gotcha.”
She’s teaching you how to float on your back, first, and as you lean against her and lower yourself into the water, you swear you feel the peak of one of her nipples, hardened from the cold, poking through the flimsy material of her tank top, brushing against your back as you submerge yourself. You have to fight to keep your expression neutral, trying not to betray anything on your face. If she asks why you’re blushing, you’ll just say it’s because of the heat.
Her hand holds you up, pressing into the small of your back as she instructs you, and it’s nice, the heat that radiates from the warmth of her skin. You feel it through your tank top, and maybe it’s because the water is cold and it’s heightening all of your senses, or maybe it’s because you’re in a pair of underwear and a tank top, feeling very exposed to your girlfriend in a way that you’ve never been with anyone, but you’re getting goosebumps, and you know for a fact that it has nothing to do with you being cold.
You hope to yourself that the feeling of having her hands on you will get easier throughout the day, because for some inexplicable reason, the feeling of her hand pressing against you like this is making it hard to focus on what she’s actually saying.
*
You quickly discover that it does not get easier as the day goes on. 
It actually gets so much fucking harder to bear as the sun begins to sail higher in the sky.
When she’s about to teach you how to kick, her hands ghost over your hips, making you jump. 
“Sorry, hun, I should’ve asked,” she apologizes softly.
You can’t bring yourself to look at her, and have to temper your voice to not sound eager as you respond. “No, you’re good, go ahead, I'm just cold, that’s all.”
When her hands caress your sides before settling against your hips, your teeth sink into the inside of your cheek, trying to contain the gasp that wants to escape. 
Is she truly that fucking unaware of what she’s doing to you? 
The skin where her fingers had trailed over tingles, and you have to give your head a slight shake to clear it, because that touch, regardless of how innocently meant it might’ve been to her, suddenly makes you want to get on your knees and beg her to touch you like that again.
You want more.
*
You learn the mechanics of how to propel yourself through the water, arms and legs separately. When it comes time to put the two together, Ellie eases you onto your stomach. The water is still shallow, your toes can still touch the ground. This was as deep as you’d be going today, she had told you, making you feel relieved.
“I’m just gonna put a hand on your stomach to hold you up. You’re still gonna have my help, I’m right here,” you’re stomach muscles tense when her hand lightly presses against it. She must think you’re nervous, because she gently strokes her thumb up and down between your rib cage, in a way that should be reassuring, but in reality, makes heat radiate from between your legs. You’re grateful that she can’t see your face, because the small pool of wetness that blossoms against your panties is undeniable now, and it makes your cheeks heat.
Okay, so you have to admit it now. You’re horny. In spite of the fact that you’ve never had sex and you haven’t been ready to take that step before today, as you slowly move through the water, feeling her hand pressing against your stomach, so close but so, so far from where you want her to be, you know that you want her, in a way that you’ve never wanted anyone before. 
“At a girl, just like that,” she says encouragingly, and you swear you can feel your thigh muscles clenching involuntarily, thoughts drifting to a very different scenario in which she’d utter those words.
*
It’s late afternoon, the sun is high in the sky, warming your shoulders as you stand in the water. You’ve long ago adjusted to its cool, murky depths, and you’re not on edge anymore. 
At least you weren’t, until Ellie suggests that to finish off the day, you try moving a little bit on your own. Your eyebrows raise, in obvious alarm, and her hands settle on your shoulders, quick to reassure you.
“You won’t have to go far, I’ll be right in front of you, I promise, all you need to do is just keep coming towards me.” 
You tilt your head, considering. Yes, you’ve grown accustomed to the water, but whenever you’ve been moving, she’s always had a hold on you, and you felt safe, knowing that there wasn’t even a chance that you would go under. 
Seeing your still evident hesitation, Ellie steps closer, a hand grazing against your waist as she presses her lips to your forehead briefly, before she speaks, her voice low and teasing against your ear.
“Can you do it for me?” She says softly. Her fingers are tracing slow, enticing circles over your waist, soothing you, but making you feel all worked up at the same time. 
She’s so close that you can feel her lips brush against your ear when she speaks, and you can’t hide the shiver that runs down your spine. You’ve lost the ability to form coherent thought, for the moment, and you have to mentally kick yourself to push your mind back into any semblance of reality. God, if she asks you like that, you’ll do anything.
You don’t say that, though. You only nod meekly, not trusting your voice to be controlled when you speak. 
When her hand gives your hip an appreciative squeeze, you feel her breath ghost against the curve of your neck as she speaks. “Good girl,” she practically purrs, a quiet, low hum against your ear that makes your knees buckle so hard that you have to dig your feet into the sand beneath you so that you don’t faceplant into the water.
When she pulls back, taking slow, tentative steps away from you, she knows that you’re watching her every move. She can feel your eyes burning into her, the further she moves away, nerves making you fidget with the hem of your top. When she’s several metres away, she reaches out a hand, beckoning.
“Okay, c’mere, Baby Girl.” 
Her voice is low, persuasive, encouraging you forward. But it still takes you a solid 30 seconds of anxiously staring at her before you actually begin to move. She stands, arms folded, patiently waiting for you to give in, because she knows that sooner or later, you will.
She’s not that far away, not really. She still would easily be able to reach her arms out, steadying you if somehow, even in this shallow water, you managed to bring yourself under. Still, when you kick back, and you no longer feel the assurance of the soft sand against your feet, or Ellie‘s arm wrapped securely around your stomach to hold you up, you freeze. She notices instantly, and her voice is quick to call you back, bringing your racing heart back down with a few, gentle words.
“Hey, eyes on me.” 
You swim forward, it’s unsure and hesitant, but at least you’re moving. You can’t always keep your eyes on her, but when your head is lowered to the water, you can always hear her voice, which she uses to get you to keep going. 
“That’s it, almost there.” 
She eggs you on, making your limbs instinctively move faster, cutting through the water with an almost desperate urge to get to her. You’re reaching for her, arms ready to wrap around her waist when she meets you halfway, scooping you up into her arms.
“That’s my girl,” she whispers against your lips, cradling the back of your head as she pulls you in. Your eyes flutter shut, and you can’t help the small sigh that she elicits from you as she lowers her head to kiss you. Her lips meet yours in a slow, soft caress, searing as her touch sets your skin alight with heat. Instinctively, only half aware of what you’re doing, your legs wrap around her waist, desperately pulling yourself against her with a sudden need that is too strong to be contained.
When her hand, tangled in your hair, gently pulls, forcing your head back as she deepens the kiss, your mouth falling open as her tongue teases past your lips, you are unable to hold back the little moan that escapes you, scalp tingling at the sensation of her fingers, curled against strands of your wet hair, holding tight, keeping you exactly where she wants you. 
She’s so close, you realize. Your legs wrapped around her like this, your heat pressed so near to hers. It’s enough to send your thoughts reeling. Every nerve ending in your body is alive with want and need. 
Her hand makes a slow path, warm, delicate fingers journeying from your waist all the way up to the peak of your breast, leaving a trail of goosebumps to form in their wake. Her hand rests against you, leaving you warm and wanting, and just when you think that you can’t handle any more, she moves her thumb in a slow, deliberate caress over your perked, hardened nipple, which, at this point, your tank top, with its thin, soaked through material that clings to your every curve, leaves little up to her imagination. She can see you, she can see all of you. Your breath shutters, the smallest sound of want, of need, of desperation escaping your throat in a choked, pleading moan that has your back arching.
And that’s when Hazel makes her displeasure and boredom known, letting out a loud, displeased nay of indignation as she stamps her hooves against the ground.
The noise is so sudden, so out of the blue, disrupting the sounds of the water gently lapping around you, and the ambiance of nature that you’ve grown quite accustomed to hearing over the past few hours, that it makes you both jump. You startle so hard that you nearly fall into the waters below, jolting back as your head whips around to discover the source of the noise. Ellie’s arms are secure, though, you feel her adjusting her hold on you, wrapping them around you tighter. She too frantically searches the area around you for signs of trouble.
When you realize that you’re in no imminent danger, and that it’s just Hazel being her typical, dramatic self, you both look at each other, and simultaneously, slow smiles creep across your faces. She can feel you begin to shake with laughter. All the adrenaline leaves your body in a relieved, sudden rush that escapes with the quiet, barely contained snort that you desperately try to hold back. After that, it’s over. Ellie’s face buries against your hair as you both begin to laugh uncontrollably.
You feel her breathy, relieved sigh ruffle your hair. “We should probably go see what her problem is – knowing Hazel, a mosquito probably landed on her and she freaked the fuck out. God, that horse is such a drama queen.” 
She rolls her eyes, but there’s an underlying affection that she can’t keep out of her voice, even if she tries.
“Probably saw us kissing and was offended. Maybe she’s homophobic,” you quip, chuckling. 
Ellie gasps in mock horror. “I practically raised that horse, there’s no fucking way,” you both laugh as she begins to move towards the shore, you cradled against her with your head on her shoulder.
*
Riding back to Jackson when you’re extremely sexually worked up, it turns out, is no fun. 
Your girlfriend, as much as you love her, is doing nothing to help the situation. 
In general, Ellie prefers to ride horses that are the most chaotic, and that carry attitudes that make them almost borderline untrainable. She says it’s because she can empathize with them, she listens to them in a way that no one else does. 
You think, privately, that it’s because it scares the shit out of Joel. He lives in constant fear that Hazel is going to throw Ellie off, sending his already accident prone daughter home with a broken leg and a concussion. You swear, Ellie enjoys getting a rise out of him, making his heart race with all of the reckless shit that she does.
Hazel has been sitting still for too long, and is now thoroughly enjoying the freedom of being able to trot about; she tries to take advantage of it regardless of the cargo on her back, making for a bumpy ride. 
You’re riding in front, this time, and every time you hit an unavoidable bump, Ellie rests her hands on your hips. She claims that she’s doing it to keep you steady, make sure that you don’t fall off the horse. but, you know better. You know an ulterior motive when you see one. The way that her hands linger, fingers slowly teasing At the edge of your still damp top, drawing slow, light circles against the exposed skin she finds beneath, suggesting that she has other plans in mind. It makes you shiver.
“You cold, baby?” Her voice is low against your ear, the unexpected proximity making you jump. She cannot be serious. Even though it’s late afternoon, evening fast approaching, the day is still scorching, hence why you’ve opted out of wearing your sweater on the way back. You didn’t even want to put on shorts over your damp underwear, but alas, you still had some shred of modesty left, not wanting to make whoever was stationed to guard Jackson’s gates uncomfortable.
When her arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against her, you swear that you can feel her hips slowly moving as she grinds against you suggestively. Her lips brush against the bare skin of your shoulder, lingering as her warm breath ghosts against your skin, caressing against your neck with its heat. You can’t hold back your gasp at the feeling.
One of her hands travels down, settling against your knee with a gentle squeeze. 
“How’s that, Baby Girl, is that better?”
God! 
If she doesn’t fuck you soon, you swear you’re gonna kill her. Or, at this rate, she’s gonna kill you first with the way she’s sending your heart racing like that.
*
If you had thought that getting home, changing into a fresh pair of clothes, and giving yourself the chance to calm your racing heart would magically put an end to whatever was stirring up inside of you, you were sadly incorrect in your assumptions.
You’re sitting on the couch in your living room, wearing a sundress that falls to your knees because it’s light and you enjoy the slight breeze that it creates when you move. It flutters around your legs gently in the humid air. It might provide next to no relief at all, but it’s still better than nothing. 
Ellie sits across from you in an armchair. Without even looking, you can feel her staring at you, eyes burning into you with a restrained and tempered want. You suspect that she’s holding it back, now wondering if she’s crossed a boundary today and made you uncomfortable. 
That couldn’t be further from the truth, but Ellie is the type of person who acts on impulse, then completely over analyzes and over thinks her actions later, until she’s convinced herself that she’s fucked something up. She’s so bold, so confident in the things she does in the moment. But, in the end, she’s still someone who sometimes needs you to explicitly communicate and validate what she does after the fact. Regardless of how her confidence is so vast, and can sometimes be mistaken for being cocky, on the inside, she’s deeply insecure and needs reassurance.
Glancing up at her through your lashes, seeing the way that she twists and fidgets with the hair elastic on her wrist, the slight frown on her face, the almost guilty way her eyes flit away from you when she sees you looking, you know that she needs that right now, and you fully intend to not just give that to her, but encourage her forward. 
Setting down the book that you weren’t actually reading, just trying to distract yourself with and completely failing, you rise to your feet, and as you move to her, she looks up at you with a smile, slipping back into its place effortlessly.
“Hey, baby, what’s up?” 
Her voice is low and soft, and the way her eyes skim over you, pausing at where your dress falls, the hem barely skimming your knees, makes heat flush at the back of your neck.
“Want somethin’.” 
You admit, crawling into her lap, bracing your hands on her shoulders.
“Yeah? What’s that?” 
She quirks a brow, and the way her eyes smoulder as she looks at you makes you nervous, stomach fluttering with anxious butterflies as she looks intently at you. 
You’ve got her full attention, and now that you do, you don’t know what to do with it. You were fully ready to take the lead on this, but at the end of the day, you’re still shy and inexperienced, and she’s everything that you’re not. To be honest, it’s intimidating, knowing her wealth of experience that you couldn’t even attempt to match. 
The insistent butterflies take flight in your stomach; you decide that the only way forward is by pure instinct, and the blind hope that you won’t embarrass yourself too much.
You lean forward slowly, hesitating slightly until, with understanding, Ellie’s hand comes up to cradle the back of your head, encouraging you the rest of the way forward until your lips meet hers, and suddenly, you forget exactly what your plan originally was, if you even really had one in the first place. It easily slips out of your mind as you melt against her, effortlessly letting her take the lead. 
Her fingers brush against your lower back, holding you securely against her. This isn’t like your usual, every day kiss, one that starts off slow and gentle. Her lips are insistent, pressing against yours with a desperate, persistent need. Her fingers absently brush against your scalp, running through your hair before cupping the back of your neck, the pressure just firm enough.
All you know is her. Her lips, claiming your mouth with a possessiveness that makes you ache for her inside. Her tongue, swiping over your lips, making you gasp slightly. As your lips part for her, you hear the low, satisfied sound she breathes against you as her tongue pushes past your lips, exploring your mouth with a hunger that you’ve never sensed in her before.
Her thigh pushes between your legs, parting them with ease and settling between them, grazing against your clothed heat. When her hand schemes down your lower back, caressing over your ass, before pressing against it with a firm squeeze, you can’t resist the way your hips buck against her, desperately chasing the friction, unable to hold back the small whimper when you’re clit presses against the rough denim of her cut-offs. 
The sound seems to startle you so much that you still your movements, eyes going wide as Ellie pulls back to look at you. She doesn’t even bother holding back the smirk that overtakes her features.
“Oh, so that’s what you want.” 
Her green eyes darken with want, voice low and gravelly with desire as she studies you, perched on her lap with a needy expression behind your innocent eyes.  Her fingers brush against your hips, teasing over your skin.
Heat flushes against your collarbone, spreading to warm your cheeks as you try to look down, wanting to escape the scrutiny of her piercing gaze. She anticipates your movement, and stops you with a hand coming to curl beneath your chin, making a soft noise of disapproval.
“Look at me, pretty girl, and tell me what you want,” 
Her voice is still soft, still gentle, but there’s a warning edge that’s crept into it, an effortless authority, that sends a jolt straight through you, making your already throbbing clit pulse with anticipation. Her fingers nudge your chin upwards, holding firmly as she directs your eyes to meet hers, smouldering with uncontained lust as she watches you. 
“You.” 
Your answer comes out in barely a breath, barely a whisper. 
“I want you.” 
You feel like your response sounds ridiculous.
It sounds small.
It sounds completely inadequate.
And yet, when Ellie’s hand snakes beneath your dress, fingers toying with the waistband of your panties, her lips brushing against your ear as she says low, “that, sweet girl, I would be happy to oblige.” 
She flexes her thigh up against your heat, rubbing over your swollen clit, making you cry out in surprise.
*
Her shirt hits the floor with a dull thump, pulled off by your eager and curious hands. You want to see her. You want to touch her. You want...
But now that it’s off and she’s looking down at you like that, your brain catches up to your body. What are you doing? What are you supposed to do? You don’t know how to do this. You don’t know where to put your hands, and the idea of fumbling around and embarrassing yourself is enough to make you nervous.
She sees the moment you begin to question yourself and overthink it, in the way that you catch your bottom lip between your teeth, the way your hand flexes, curling into itself with anxiety.  
“Hey,” she says softly, waiting for your eyes to meet hers. Her hands caress up and down the sides of your arms, pulling you from the spiral that your mind was going in, bringing you back to earth with a soothing touch. 
“I know that this is your first time, and I just want you to know that I don’t expect anything of you tonight. The only thing I want is to make you feel good. So just, let me do that, okay?” 
When she leans in, arms wrapping around you, and her lips press against your neck in a slow, seductive kiss, she can feel the shiver that runs down your spine, and she makes a note to remember that you’re sensitive there.
You feel her lips close to your ear as she speaks. 
“Just let me take care of my girl tonight.” 
Her hand schemes down your side, fingers drawing teasing circles over your hip. Your eyes close and your breath comes in a sharp, unsteady inhale and all you can do is look at her, eyes hooded, and say in a shaky voice, “please.”
You feel her low chuckle against your neck. 
“Such pretty manners,” she hums against your skin, before you feel the gentle graze of teeth join her lips, delivering a small, sharp sting that you imagine will leave a mark. 
This thought doesn’t scare you in the way that you thought it would. Your first thought isn’t of how on earth you’re going to cover this up tomorrow. The idea that there will be physical evidence of her, of what she’s doing to you, that there will be a reminder of it in the morning turns you on, sending a thrill through you. 
Her tongue replaces where her teeth had just been, gently soothing over the sting. “Good girl,” she breathes, hand coming up to fiddle with the spaghetti strap of your dress. “I want this off,”
She waits for you to nod your consent, and then she’s sliding the straps off your shoulders, letting it fall. It pools around your waist in a soft brush of its material.
Fingers brush over your stomach, and you shiver with anticipation, already knowing the path they intend to travel over your skin. Her hands graze over your ribs, before she curls them around the curves of your breasts. She looks down at them, cradled in her hands, and her lips curl upward. 
Warm, experienced hands massage and knead your breasts, gentle caresses and squeezes encouraging, coaxing your nipples to harden beneath her touch. Her thumb brushes over one of the hardening buds, and you gasp at even the slightest attention. She seems to relish in drawing sounds from you, her index finger joining her thumb, as she rolls your perked nipple between her fingers, adding the slightest pinch. 
“You’re so fuckin pretty, you know that? The site of these,” she tweaks your other nipple, making your breath stutter, “peeking through your shirt at the lake was teasing me all day.” 
Her face buries against your neck, she becomes rougher, more insistent. Still slow and attentive, but there’s a possessive edge to it as she leaves a trail of marks down your throat, your collarbone. 
You love every second of getting to see this new side of Ellie, one that you haven’t seen before. The way that she’s intently listening to your body, finding out exactly how to touch you in a way  that brings out those little gasps and mules that are like music to her ears, you want to see this side of her more often.
She’s enjoying the sight of her marks on you just as much as you are; a thrill runs through her, knowing that everyone will see that you belong to her.
She pauses toying with your nipple as her hand falls to your thigh, letting her breath graze against your skin, before she leans in, lips encircling the pebbled bud with a gentle suck. You whimper as her teeth barely graze your skin, tongue swirling over the small bud teasingly. She makes an appreciative sound against you while her fingers brush the bare skin of your inner thigh. 
Her thumb teases over the seam of your panties, and you swear that you can feel her lips pull into a smirk as she feels the evident wetness pooling there. When she grazes a knuckle over your clothed clit, using a featherlight touch, your hips instinctively buck, you’re so worked up. 
“Ellie,” your cheeks flush at the way that she’s got you whining for her with just one touch to wear you’ve been craving her to be. “Please, I, I need you to touch me there.” 
“Aww, you’re so pretty when you beg for me,” she coos, two fingers caressing over your heat. 
Your head falls back, eyes closing as you try to suppress the whimper that fights to escape at her teasing.
“Ellie, please,” and if you weren’t trying to beg before, you definitely are now.
She tilts her head, a slightly pleased expression crossing her kiss swollen lips as she looks at you, thoroughly unravelled before she’s even fully gotten you undressed.
“That’s all you had to say, Princess.”
Her voice is low and smooth, calm and effortless, in complete juxtaposition to her next actions, because suddenly, your dress is being yanked the rest of the way down, Ellie tossing it to the floor in a careless heap. She lifts you with ease, flipping you around so that your back is pressed against her bare chest. Her arms curl around you, holding you close to her, fingers trailing down your stomach, scheming over the waistband of your panties. One finger hooks under, and she pauses, voice suddenly soft.
“Can I take these off, baby girl?” Her finger strokes along the bare skin that she’s found beneath your panties, just above your mound, inviting, but not moving lower. 
“Ellie,” you say with growing desperation. She’s teased you all day, and you can’t take much more of it. You’ve reached the end of your rope, and you can tell, without even having to look at her, that she’s fully aware of it, she’s just enjoying teasing you a little longer, dragging out the moment for even just a few seconds more. She’s so close to where you need her, but not close enough, and you need her to bridge the distance. “You can do whatever you want,” your head falls back against her shoulder, auburn hair tickling against your face as she leans down to whisper.
“Don’t give me any ideas, princess. You might regret it.” 
Her words make you shutter, but, nonetheless, she pulls, and in a matter of seconds, she’s sending your panties to join your dress on the floor, with a practiced flick of her wrist.
She doesn’t waste much time now; her hands gently part your thighs. 
“Spread your legs for me, Pretty Girl, I want to see all of you.” 
She coaxes, not that you need much urging. You feel her legs cage over yours, wrapping around them, holding them open for her. Fingers ghost over your curls, dipping between your lips. She collects your wetness, fingers gliding effortlessly up to your clit, coating it in your own arousal. 
“Barely touched you, and you’re already soaked for me,” two fingers press against your swollen clit, drawing slow, easy circles over your heat, already making your walls clench around nothing.
Her other hand moves, pausing to give an affectionate pinch to one of your perked breasts, making you gasp in surprise, your hips instinctively jolting forward, pushing against the hand that continues to massage, tease, and press against your clit. It continues its path downward, caressing over your hip, your inner thigh. 
Long, tapered fingers dip between your folds, tentatively swirling around your entrance, gathering the wetness that’s collected there. You don’t realize you’re begging until, achingly slowly, one of her fingers brushes over your tight, glistening hole. She doesn’t push it forward, only curling it slightly to pet at your entrance. 
“F-fuck, please,” your head falls back against her shoulder, and your hips push forward, trying to take her inside, but to no avail.
“Such a needy girl,” she murmurs, smirking at the way that you nod. 
She’s got you so desperate that you’ll agree to anything she says; you won’t even try to deny it. It would be pointless, anyways. All she has to do is look down and see the way that your hips are bucking against her to know that you would be lying through your teeth. Nonetheless, she gently eases a finger inside you and you let out a long, tremulous breath as she pushes her finger, easing it all the way inside until she’s down to her knuckle.
She’s watching carefully for your reactions and she can feel how tight you are around her; she doesn’t want to cause you any pain. But when she tentatively, curiously, crooks her finger slightly upward, searching, a jolt runs through you, your body trembling and hips jerking forward, chasing the contact. It’s too much, and it’s not enough, and you need more. 
“Fuck, I, Ellie, I I want,” your hands grip onto her thighs tightly. 
She presses a soft kiss to the side of your neck before whispering,“That’s it, baby, use your words. Tell me what you need,” her finger pumps in and out at an unhurried, languid pace, barely grazing over that spot that you so desperately need her to touch. 
“Need more of you inside me,” you whimper, unable to keep the desperate edge from creeping into your voice. A second finger joins the first, slowly pushing through your entrance. You immediately feel the stretch, unfamiliar to having someone else’s fingers there, but you’re quickly distracted, because as soon as both fingers are pushing into you, she increases the pressure against your throbbing clit, fingers drawing rough, tight circles over your swollen bud. 
The sound you make is high and uncontained.
Calloused fingers brush against your inner walls, clenching around them as Ellie stretches you out. Her fingers curl, a slight beckoning motion as she easily finds that spot inside of you. The pads of her fingers press firmly against it, fingers insistently petting at your center with small, precise strokes against your sweet spot. She's hitting that spot in a way that you’ve never been able to accomplish on your own. 
You’re seeing stars, because she’s everywhere you want and need her to be, and now, the only thing you can do is grind your hips down against her fingers that are so effortlessly toying with you. 
It comes out of nowhere, the coil that eagerly begins to tighten in your stomach. Your toes curl with anticipation, and your hands are gripping onto her so tightly. You’re pretty sure that you’re the one who’s going to be leaving bruises now. Her fingers continue to thrust in and out of your weeping cunt, and maintain the relentless pressure against your clit.
Ellie’s chin rests against your shoulder, watching attentively, and if you could see her, you’d see how utterly enthralled she is at how much of a mess she’s made you, eyes heavy as she watches her fingers plunge in and out of your cunt. Her voice is low against your ear, rough, commanding when she speaks.
“That’s it, Baby Girl, I want you to fuck yourself on my fingers and cum for me.” 
You’ve always experienced orgasms as a gradual build, a wave, gently cresting against the shore. So, the way the coil in your stomach abruptly snaps, almost an instant after Ellie finishes speaking, has you taken completely by surprise. She’s attached her lips back onto your neck, sucking a mark just against your pulse point, which she feels fluttering rapidly beneath her tongue. 
There’s the stuttering of hips accompanied by a sharp cry and Ellie feels your walls tighten around her fingers, unceasing in her ministrations even as your orgasm barrels through you. 
“Good girl, fucking give it to me,” she nearly growls, as her fingers continue to fuck you through your orgasm. All you can do is whimper uselessly, rocking your hips against her hand, as thrills ignite every inch of your body, making you tremble all over. 
When you come down from your high, you’re collapsed against her chest, and she’s slowly easing off the pressure. 
The first thing you notice is that you don’t feel the same as you usually would if you had just done this by yourself. For some reason, you thought that you were a one and done kind of girl. Usually you orgasm once, and then you take a nap, feeling for the most part satisfied. But as her fingers slide out of you, leaving you feeling empty, all you can think is that you want more.
Then, Ellie’s holding up her glistening fingers, slick with your arousal, in front of her face. You turn to watch her, curious, as she slides them into her mouth, licking them clean. She hums, and you raise a brow questioningly as she looks down at you, her eyes bearing an expression that is almost predatory in its intensity.
“What?” you ask, already feeling goosebumps rising along your skin.
“Nothing,” she shrugs, shaking her head slightly. “It’s just, now that I’ve had a taste of you, I want more.” You turn fully to face her, lips curving into a smirk. Your hand trails over her breasts, and she looks at you with interest.
“Please,” you’re still breathless, and your voice is still unsteady.
“I want you too.”
*
“Atta girl, just like that.” 
Admittedly, as much as you’ve had countless fantasies involving sitting on Ellie’s face, the prospect of actually doing it, as much as you want to, gives you pause. She’s carried you up to the bed, at some point along the way, the rest of her clothes came off, you’ll probably find them scattered along the hallway later. But that doesn’t matter right now.
What matters is that you’re hovering over her face, looking down at her while trying not to look nervous and out of your comfort zone, which you totally are, and she obviously isn’t buying it. Gentle hands reach for you, holding your hips and pulling you against her easily. 
“All the way down, Honey, that’s it,” she coaxes, easing you down onto her. “You’re good, you’re not gonna kill me,” her hand caresses up and down your side, soothing, even as you feel her warm breath ghosting over your heat, making your cheeks flush, as you look down at how close she is to you.
“I gotcha’, Pretty Girl, just relax,” her voice is smooth, assured, confident, in a way that makes your muscles relax in spite of yourself.
That’s when you feel her tongue, warm and wet, brushing through your folds. The sensation is so new, so unfamiliar to you, that for a second, you freeze, your breath catching in your throat. 
Then, her tongue flattens, pressing over your clit and applying a slight pressure that has you arching against her. Her tongue curls over your swollen nub, gently drawing it towards her lips, an almost imperceptible pulling motion that has your hands scrambling for something to hold onto, finding a grip against the headboard of the bed.
She makes a contented hum as her lips wrap around your center, the sound vibrating against you making your hips jolt. Her hands curl around the undersides of your thighs, holding you in place. Your hands hold onto the headboard of the bed for dear life, feeling like it’s the only solid thing that you have to hold onto, keeping you from toppling over the edge and out of control. 
You’ve never felt like this before. Each swipe of her tongue over your heat, the gentle pulse of her lips as she sucks, enveloping you in her warm, wet mouth, brings a new sensation thrumming through your veins, almost akin to fire as it shoots through you, pleasure licking over every inch of your skin like flames. It’s overwhelming, in such a way that you don’t know what to do with it, how to express it. 
All you can do, at this point, is roll your hips against her mouth, hold onto the headboard, and let small, desperate whimpers escape your lips. You’re trying to hold onto some semblance of containing yourself, because you don’t know what would happen if you let yourself unravel completely. You’re terrified of what Ellie might see if you fell apart like that.
She seems to be doing everything she can to break away at your composure though. Her tongue is alternating between dragging slow, tender circles over your clit, and firm, quick strokes, that has your head falling against your hands, braced against the headboard. She flicks her tongue against you, her lips surrounding your clit in a particularly firm suck, and before you know it, you’re spilling over the edge, eyes shut tightly, and breath releasing in a long, shuttering moan that seems to run from the top of your head to the tips of your tightly curled toes, her tongue continuing to caress you over your peak.
She moans into you, and it all becomes too much. Your head is thrown back and your hands are reaching down, tangling in her hair, to push her away or pull her closer; it’s unclear in your fuzzy mind. All the while, her insistent tongue continues to swirl over your increasingly oversensitive bundle of nerves, the relentless and inescapable pleasure making you shiver all over, while a light sweat breaks out on your bare skin.
You only drift back into yourself when you become aware of a shift. It’s so fast, you barely have time to even blink, before Ellie manoeuvres you, flipping you onto your back and roughly parting your thighs with her hands. Her fingers run through your glistening folds, calloused thumb pressing against your aching, overstimulated clit. The sensation has you gasping, crying out, and trying to close your legs, buck your hips, move away.
Frantically, you try to jam your legs shut, trying to escape her mercilessly teasing fingers. Rough hands force your thighs apart, putting you on display for her as she holds you open. 
“Uh uh, not this time, Baby,” she tuts disapprovingly. “No more holding back on me, Sweet Girl,” listening to the low, dominant tone of her voice is like a drug to you, and your eyes roll back into your head as she speaks. 
“I want everyone to know how good I fuck this pretty little pussy.” Two fingers circle your clit and you jolt, trying to move away. But a strong arm pushes your hips down, pinning you against the bed easily.
Faster than you can process, her fingers retreat, and you don’t even have time to feel relieved, because a split second later, her hand comes down against your cunt with a smack, delivering a stinging, rough spank that has you crying out, clit throbbing and pulsing with the agonizingly delicious mix of pain and pleasure. 
“Now, you’re gonna be a good girl, and you’re gonna take everything I give you.” 
Two fingers notch at your entrance, but she waits, looking at you, a silent question, an invitation for you to tell her that this is too much and that you need to stop. You know she would in a heartbeat if you told her that this was too much or too rough for you right now, and that’s what makes you feel safe enough to continue.
So, when you respond by attempting to push your hips forward against her, a soft whimper falling from your lips, she smirks, and with the slightest movement of her wrist, her fingers thrust into you. Seconds later, her face is buried in between your legs, tongue gently lapping at your sensitive clit. After two orgasms, you’re hyper aware of every movement; every swirl of her tongue is sweet, hot agony that undoes you in seconds.
At the same moment her lips take your clit into her mouth, holding it as her tongue swipes a tight, rough circle over your heat, her fingers curl, and she finds that spot inside you that makes your legs begin to shake, pressing against it with each punishing thrust of her fingers. 
Your moans are loud, unrestrained, sounds that you would be embarrassed to make if you were in any way capable of controlling them. But you’re not, because your mind is only filled with her, her and her tongue on your clit, and her strong fingers pumping in and out of your wet cunt, playing with you as easily and as effortlessly as she plays the guitar. 
She’s clearly enjoying the sounds that fall from your lips, every beg and plea and moan of her name making her feel quite smug that she’s undone you so easily…she encourages you to continue, making a contented hum against your clit. She only looks up long enough to say:
“That’s it, I want to hear you being such a dirty little girl for me.”
A third finger slowly, carefully, pushes in; the stretch makes you feel so full, so good, it nearly takes your breath away. Her fingers thrust in and out slowly, testing the waters, wanting to make sure that you’ve adjusted – but you are having absolutely none of it.
Your head is thrown back and your hips are thrusting forward, or trying to, but her arm is so fucking strong that she doesn’t even have to try that hard to keep you pinned against the mattress, exactly where she wants you to be.  You don’t even realize you’re begging until you see her smirking up at you.
“Please, Ellie, please, fuck, I-I want,” it’s a challenge to even string coherent words together, but you’re distracted by her face, now looking up at you as her thumb takes over, stroking against your clit. 
“Come on, Baby girl, tell me what you want,” she presses her thumb a little harder into you, making you gasp brokenly. 
You take a breath to steady yourself, and your words still come out stuttered, but you say them, blushing in a way that she finds absolutely endearing considering you’re already spread out on her bed with three of her fingers buried inside of you.
“I-I want it harder,” you admit, your cheeks burning. “Want you to fuck me.”
“You’re so fuckin pretty when you use your words like that, Baby,” she praises. “Such a good fuckin girl,” then, her fingers are thrusting in and out, setting a rough pace, hitting that spot in a way that feels so much stronger than it already was. 
When she lowers her head, tongue dipping between your folds, returning to feast at your clit rough, persistent swirls and flicks over your swollen center, any slight ability to contain yourself is lost. You’re not aware of the sounds that you’re making, or the way that your hands scramble to find a hold on something, anything solid, eventually coming to clutch the soft bed sheets, holding them tightly in between your fingers.
You’re only aware that your orgasm is approaching, and that Ellie, little by little, is nudging you towards a peak that once you make it over, you think might absolutely wreck you, in the best possible way. All you know is that you want this, you want her. You need her.
God.
You really fucking need her. 
She feels your walls beginning to flutter around her, her free hand shifts down, coming to grip your thigh, opening you even wider for her.
 “Come on, baby, wanna hear all those pretty sounds you make for me when you cum.” 
She says against you, adjusting her wrist to fuck you with her fingers deeper. The new angle has you keening, hips desperately thrusting to chase the friction of whatever new spot she’s hitting. 
Her tongue flattening against you as she draws firm, tight circles over your bundle of nerves, The way that your back is arching, hips uselessly trying to grind down against her and her relentless fingers, fucking into your weeping cunt mercilessly.  She’s guiding you exactly to where she wants you to go, straight up towards that peak. Your vision blurs. 
“Fucking give it to me, Pretty Girl, want you to cum for me, all over my fingers and my mouth.” 
Your back arches off the bed, and suddenly, all you know is wave after wave of ecstasy that crashes through your body, electric shocks that pulse through you, making you jolt and flail uselessly combined with the rhythmic pumping of her fingers, and the dipping and swirling of her tongue against you. 
She works you through your orgasm, never slowing the movements of her tongue or her fingers that continue to drag in and out of you, sustaining your pleasure for as long as she can possibly hold it. Her lips wrap around your clit, as her tongue swipes through your folds, collecting all the wetness that she can find. She hums against you, encouraging your loud moans, and by the time it’s over, you’re a shaking, completely fucked out mess on her bed, 
If you happened to see the expression on her face as she watches you writhing beneath her, your hands twisting the sheets into knots and broken, unrestrained whimpers fall from your lips, she’s taking in the sight with immense appreciation, as if you’re the work of art she’s just created.
*
Turns out, the only thing that you have the ability to do post-three orgasms is roll over onto your stomach, shaking and trembling, and try, desperately, to regain your breath. 
Ellie, for her part, crawls up the bed beside you, hand coming up to tenderly stroke back the hair that sticks to your forehead, before gently rubbing your back.
“Easy, baby, that’s it, just breathe for me.” 
You’re eventually able to regain your breath, but your body feels floppy and light, and you can’t even begin to comprehend the slightest of movements. Ellie tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, saying softly, “I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna get something to clean you up, okay?”  
You nod in slight acknowledgement of her words, but your mind is still fuzzy, and the only thing that you’re really aware of right now is the sudden sleepiness that comes over you in a soft, comforting wave. You feel her stroke your hair once more before she rises from the bed, briefly pausing to look at how fucked out you are, stretched out across her bed, bare skin glistening with sweat that makes your hair stick to your forehead, eyes heavy and cheeks flushed.
“So pretty,” she breathes, before exiting.
She isn’t gone long, and when she returns your eyes are closed, head buried against a pillow. She kneels between your legs, hand reaching out to gently rub your back as you turn your head to look at her. 
“Just need to clean you up, pretty,” she whispers, and you realize how sticky you are in between your legs. 
“Okay,” you mumble, your voice sounding slightly hoarse, similar to the way it does when you first wake up in the morning. Were you really moaning that much?
You feel a warm, damp washcloth brushing against your inner thigh. It’s nice, soothing, but as Ellie moves towards the place in between your legs, you instinctively flinch, overstimulated and slightly sore. 
A large hand splays out over your back gently. “I know, Honey, it’s okay, I've got you,” Ellie soothes. 
She runs the cloth over your folds. “There we go, sweet girl, almost done.” Its brush against your clit makes you cry out, leg kicking out instinctively. Ellie shushes you gently, pressing chased, featherlight kisses against your spine, the curve of your hip, effectively distracting you while she finishes cleaning you up. 
When she’s done, she throws the cloth to the side, coming to sit beside you. “Okay, Baby, I just need you to get up and go for a quick pee.” You turn your head to look at her in bewilderment, staring up at her with your eyebrows raised.
“Why?” You ask, confused. She chuckles softly at your expression. 
“Because, nowadays there isn’t much to protect ourselves from any infections that we could pick up while doing this,” she gestures vaguely. “And this is the one thing that we can do to at least try to help prevent something from coming up,”
“Buuut Elliee, I don’t wanna get up,” you grumble, burying your face back into the pillow.
She sighs softly, “come on, it’ll be fast, and then we can get back into bed and cuddle for as long as you want.” 
That idea is tempting, but she could just get into bed with you right now and cuddle. Plus, you want to know who gave her this information, because it sounds pretty fucking stupid to you. 
“I don’t want to,” you grumble.
Ellie playfully hits you with a pillow. “Come on, Lazy Ass,” she’s guiding you to sit up now, in spite of how much you’re resisting, because the bed is so warm and soft. 
“Besides,” she reasons, “we both go out on patrol in three days, and I am not dealing with you having to dismount your horse every five minutes because you got a urinary tract infection and now you need to pee every time we hit a bump on the path.” 
You dramatically sigh in defeat. “Okay, okay, I get it, Jesus Christ,” you roll your eyes in mock exasperation, but the smile pulling at your lips betrays your true feelings. “On one condition,” you say, folding your arms across your chest.
“What?” Ellie is fighting to restrain a smile, because you’re just too goddamn cute when you’re like this.
“You have to carry me there and back,” you say, reaching your arms up like a child who wants to be picked up. 
She sighs, feigning annoyance, but she’s already positioning an arm beneath your knees. “You’re such a fucking brat,” she mutters against your hair as she cradles you against her chest. 
You snuggle into her, smile growing wide as she moves towards the door, holding you in her arms. “Don’t lie, you love it.”
“Shut up ,” she says, hand sneaking around to give your ass an affectionate squeeze, making you gasp and giggle in surprise, instinctively kicking, nearly falling out of her arms in the process. But her hold is secure, arms tightening around you as your cheek presses against her shoulder.
“Don’t worry, babe, I got you.”
*
After gently setting you back in bed, once you’ve finally gone to the bathroom, grumbling the whole way there and back, Ellie went to get you a glass of water. She’s been gone for less than 30 seconds, and you already miss the feeling of her body, Strong and warm and steady, pressed against you. While she’s gone though, you entertain yourself by letting your eyes roam over your body, finding the evidence of her, left behind on your skin. You discover each new mark, each trace of her presence imprinted on you with the anticipation and joy of a child finding Easter eggs. 
Your hand runs over your inner thigh, Lips pulling into a smile as you take in the sight of the finger shaped bruises that she left from where she gripped onto you so tightly. The site makes a warm, tingling feeling settle in your stomach.
You don’t hear her approach from behind you, and she must not see the expression on your face.
“Did I hurt you? Was it, was it too much?”
You turn, eyebrows raised and already shaking your head with vehemence, to find her watching you, biting her lip, concerned frown on her face. 
“What, no, no, Ells, it’s just,” you avert your eyes, the blush creeping onto your face is mortifying, and in spite of everything you too just did, and how you had expected talking about things like this would be easier now, it’s still hard to admit it out loud. 
She catches your chin in her hand, gently redirecting your eyes back up to meet hers. Seeing her so close to you, you don’t have to look hard to see the anxieties, trying to be contained and hidden, but dancing behind her eyes nonetheless. 
You feel your heart clench. She’s opened up to you about her past on a few occasions, but when she has, it was easy to sense how fearful she was of her own inclinations towards violence, regardless of how necessary and imperative it might have been for her survival. She’s like a fire, impulsive and easy to set off, her flames all-consuming without a second thought. But after, even now, even when all this is small bruises marking your skin in the heated passion of lust, that will fade and be gone within a few days, she’ll still twist herself into knots, thinking and overthinking until she’s convinced herself that she’s ruined you.
“Please, Babe, tell me the truth,” her voice is soft, barely a whisper, but you hate the way that there’s a slight tremble in it, so uncharacteristic of Ellie. It breaks what’s left of your embarrassment, and the words fall from your lips without hesitation now.
“It wasn’t too much. It’s just, I-I liked it...the marks... I think it’s kind of hot.” 
You wonder, in the back of your mind, if she can feel the way your cheek heats beneath her hand, resting against it ever so lightly. Her breath comes out in a soft, surprised laugh, and you’re relieved to see the concerned edges fade from her expression, a smirk instead overtaking her lips. “
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she whispers, fingers coming to trace over the scattered marks, littered across your neck and collarbone. 
“You’re cold,” she observes, hands running up and down your arms, goosebumps beginning to form there. You hadn’t even noticed that you had begun to shiver.
When she crawls into bed behind you, wrapping her arms around you, Holding you against her, her warmth settles into your bones, running through you like melted chocolate. She brings the glass of water to your lips, insisting that you drink, and refusing to back down, in spite of your protests that you’ll need to get up to go pee in the middle of the night and does she realize how annoying that is? 
She does, but she still coaxes you to drink half the glass.
You hold the glass up to her, pouting slightly. “Now you drink some, I feel like you should, too, because you were doing a lot of work, you know, with your mouth,” you say suggestively. 
“Oh my God, shut up,” she groans. She gives you a playful shove that nearly makes the glass tumble from your hand. But she has quick reflexes, and her hand is steady against yours as she gently grabs your wrist, preventing the spill.
“Careful, Hun,” she cautions, plucking the glass out of your hand easily. “If only to appease you,” she sighs dramatically, before tipping it back and draining the glass.
The inevitable crash that you hadn’t, but probably should’ve, anticipated hits you all at once. It starts with a sigh that quickly turns into a yawn that seems to take all of your energy with it. You move to shrug your shoulders, brush it off like it’s nothing, because honestly, it’s only just starting to get dark outside, you can’t go to sleep right now, it’s just too early.
Your bones feel oddly heavy, sore in a way that shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. Adrenaline, and passion have temporarily blinded you to trivial things, like being a human and having a body that can get physically exhausted, especially after trying so many new things at once. You wince because fuck, you hadn’t realized how tense you had been holding yourself today until now, and the consequences are quickly setting in. 
She’s watching you, observing you closely as she always does. She doesn’t say a word, but she intuitively understands.
She brushes your hair off to one side, and you shiver as your bare neck and shoulders are exposed to her. Warm hands settle over your shoulders, there’s a gentle squeeze, an unspoken question, an offering. The way your head falls forward, the low, contented noise that falls from your lips is all the ascent that she needs.
Her thumbs gingerly press into the tense muscles beneath them. She hums sympathetically, feeling how tender you are beneath her. She keeps her movements slow and precise as she presses her thumbs against you, applying a slight pressure, running them over the backs of your shoulders, gently encouraging the tension to release. She’s ceaselessly patient, only continuing her path upward when she can feel your muscles relax, giving into her ministrations.  
She continues to massage across your shoulders and your upper back, seeming to find and undo tension in places that you didn’t even realize you were carrying. It makes you sleepy, the gentle caress of her hands gliding over your skin, paired with the firm press of her knuckles, exactly where you need it.
One of her hands slowly runs up the back of your neck, gently cupping you at the base of your skull.  Her fingers smooth over your temples, stress easing away as your eyes flutter shut.  Her other hand continues to press and massage in between your shoulder blades, firm and insistent as she smooths her thumbs over the tight knot that’s gathered there, with patient persistence, making it unravel at her touch, and forcing the tension to leave your body. 
“Relax, Pretty Girl, I’m not going anywhere,” her voice is a low rumble against your ear. 
Her lips brush over one of the bruises she’s left on the side of your neck, and suddenly, it’s like all the tension bleeds out of you, draining so quickly that you don’t have time to catch yourself.
She laughs softly as you try to contain the yawn that tears through you as she eases you back towards the pillows. She wraps a soft blanket around both of you, covering your bodies and making sure you’re tucked in securely. 
She settles in behind you, warm, bare skin pressing against yours as she curls herself around you. A strong arm wraps around your waist, gently tugging you close to her as her leg hooks over yours. 
You’re barely awake, only aware enough to snuggle into her, saying sleepily, “if this is the treatment I’m going to get after one swimming lesson, what are you gonna do when I’ve mastered it?”
There’s a soft chuckle, low against your ear as she whispers, “don’t worry about that, pretty girl, I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.” 
She kisses the top of your head, lingering for a moment as she adoringly watches your eyes flutter. You sigh with contentment, letting a sleepy smile graze over your lips. Maybe she doesn’t realize what she’s doing, maybe she isn’t even aware…but, in this moment, you’re surrounded by her. 
Her safety.
Her warmth .
Her unconditional and unwavering love is curled around your heart as closely as she’s curled herself around you. She’s here, she’s safety, she’s love,and right now, she is all that you could ever want.
-
this was actually my first attempt at writing smut, and in spite of how nervous I am to share it, I’m actually really happy with how it turned out. So if you enjoyed it, please let me know, notes, comments, and re-blogs are so appreciated. Thank you so much for reading
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starrylevi · 1 year ago
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Dad!Levi 💫
Dad!Levi who pushes the stroller when you’re both out
Dad!Levi who gets all the chores done around the house while having the baby strapped to his chest
Dad!Levi who literally takes care of everything the first few months after you giving birth
Dad!Levi who packs the baby’s bag whenever you both leave the house because somehow you always manage to leave something but Levi never does
Dad!Levi who tries every diaper brand before picking the one he deems is the best for your child
Dad!Levi who bundles up your child as if they’re going to experience a blizzard their first day out in the cold
Dad!Levi who cuts your child’s hair himself because he doesn’t trust anyone else
Dad!Levi who internally freaks out every time your child gets sick
Dad!Levi who seems to be the stricter parent but is actually the biggest softie and lets your child indulge once in a while
Dad!Levi who doesn’t let just anyone take care of your child. They’re always properly vetted or are a well trusted friend
Dad!Levi who teaches your child to be scrappy and resourceful so no one messes with them when they first attend school
Dad!Levi who’s in charge of bath and nighttime routines
Dad!Levi with a sunshine child who is absolutely obsessed with him even though everyone else fears him
Dad!Levi who doesn’t get upset with his children’s messes because how else will they learn how to clean up
Dad!Levi who makes sure he is gentle with his little boy knowing the world was never gentle with him
Dad!Levi who holds his little girl close, reminding him of his time with his mother
Dad!Levi who just cares about raising good humans not soldiers
Dad!Levi who doesn’t punish your children but teaches them lessons
Dad!Levi who tries his hardest to be the best father since he never thinks he’s good enough
Dad!Levi who loves your children with every fiber of his being as they are healing his inner child
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thisgirlnamedblusy · 3 months ago
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Hello! Really love your work! No worries if you don’t get to this one!
I was just wondering if you could do GP! Donna accidentally getting reader pregnant but thinking it can’t be hers. Accuses reader of cheating and yells at her to leave. Then a few years later hasn’t heard from reader at all since. Is forced to attend one of the village festivals with the lords and Miranda only to see reader also there in the crowd with a little kid that looks exactly like Donna.
Thanks! And have a nice day!
Yesss!!! Thank your for your support, and for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :))))
Years
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: G!P Donna, a bit of smut, Minors DNI, slightly dark themes, slightly dark Donna, jealousy, angst
Word count: 7,184
Summary: You just want her to understand...
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))
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Like most mornings, only the panting, the moans and the creaking of the old bed were your companions. It was a morning of passion, of love, one of many others.
Your life was already threatening to be dangerously boring. You were tired of the suitors your parents offered you. According to them, and many of their friends, you were the most beautiful girl in the village.
Nonsense in your opinion. What does being beautiful have to do with forcing you to marry an idiot?
In one of those interviews with a perfect boy for you, you escaped through a window comically, taking refuge in the forest, a bad idea, because a blizzard fell upon you without mercy. Luckily, you survived.
 Luckily you met the only person you truly loved, the Lord, the doll maker, Donna Beneviento.
She saved your life, offering you refuge in her old house. You, with no other options, accepted. Despite the fear the Lords and Mother Miranda generated in you, you had never had the opportunity to discover for yourself what one of them was like when it came to conversation, or maintaining any kind of contact. Sick, disturbed, monstrous... You had heard so many things and you didn’t know what to expect.
None of that seemed to coincide precisely with your opinion. Yes, she was an isolated, sick woman, whose body and face changed when she was adopted by Mother Miranda but... You could not avoid that, after just a conversation, many more came and suddenly you felt that you no longer wanted to return to your old home.
Love flooded your life, a sincere, authentic love, the one you had been looking for years. It could not go better. You didn’t want it to go better. After a year, your life was right where you wanted it to be.
And so, you let yourself be carried away by passion, letting Donna capture your lips while her hips danced along with her erection inside of you. You loved that burning passion, that desire to love and be loved.
“Faster, Donna,” you asked moaning; gripping the sheets tightly to vent yourself, to let out somewhere that pleasure you were feeling. She laughed pleased by your request and complied without wasting a second, grabbing your hips, moving your body.
But a strange dizziness interrupted that pleasurable morning sex session. Your face paled and the sensations caused by her thrusts suddenly became clouded. It was a subtle change and the brunette, of course, didn’t notice, losing that harmonious rhythm and growling after one last thrust, pulling out of you and covering your back with her release.
You both caught your breath, but Lady Beneviento's face told you she had indeed noticed that change.
“Hey, tesoro, are you okay?” the lady asked, leaning to your ear and looking at you with concern.
You got on your knees and nodded, kissing her slowly, thanking her for the pleasure you had felt.
“You, you haven't had an orgasm,” the brunette said, confused by your lack of movements, scared because she hadn't known how to please you as she thought she should.
“Oh, well, I'm, I'm a bit... Dizzy,” you said in a sincere tone, running a hand over her shoulder and getting out of bed. Donna looked at you strangely, gently grabbing your wrist.
“Did I hurt you?” she asked with a shining eye, disappointed. You smiled, rolled your eyes and shook your head.
“No, Donna, you didn't hurt me,” you said softly, approaching her again, kissing her to calm her fears. “You were great, as always,” you whispered, caressing her cheek and moving away again.
The lady nodded, obviously not entirely convinced by your words.
“I think I need a shower,” you sighed, stretching and grabbing some clothes.
“Can I go with you?” she asked, getting up with you and grabbing your waist.
You winked at her.
“Sure you can, honey.”
You thought some water cleaning the sweat off your body would be enough to clear your head, but that wasn't your day. The dizziness was still there. Maybe you were hungry.
“Donna, where are the chocolate muffins?” you asked, rummaging through the kitchen, already dressed and with supposedly renewed energy.
“In the top drawer,” the brunette answered, boiling coffee like every morning. You sighed, hands on your waist.
“Mm, no, this is empty,” you joked with a mischievous smile.
“No? Wow,” Donna murmured, taking a quick look.
“Well, nevermind. I was planning on going shopping in the village after breakfast,” you commented, closing the drawer and leaning on the counter.
The old coffee pot trembled in the Lord’s pale hands.
“Why?” she asked with a frown, breathing heavily. “Can't you wait for the Duke to come?”
Of course, you loved Donna, with all your soul, but you couldn't help that certain aspects of her personality bothered you. The jealousy and her possessive behavior were those things you hated, but endured.
“Donna, it's the chocolate muffins,” you said childishly, tilting your head with pleading eyes. “I can't wait for the fat guy to come and…” you stopped talking when dizziness shook your insides again.
“What's wrong, tesoro?” Donna asked, resting a hand on your shoulder with a worried face.
“Nothing, nothing,” you said, waving your hand, overwhelmed by overprotection. “I, I told you I'm a bit dizzy.”
“Maybe coffee isn't the best,” the brunette murmured, looking at the coffee pot while you fought against your stomach. “Shall I make you some tea?”
“Great, thanks, Donna,” you said gratefully, running a hand over your sweaty forehead. “See?, I need some fresh air.”
“(Y/N)…” she protested again, putting water to boil.
“I won't be long, I promise…”
After having breakfast and insisting to Donna to stop seeing the idea of ​​going out as something dangerous, you prepared to approach the village. The cold air calmed your dizziness, but that feeling of not wanting to hold anything in your stomach was still present. You just hoped you wouldn't run into your parents…
“(Y/N), I'm glad to see you,” Roberto the baker, said. He was one of your best childhood friends. He was kind, friendly, and very handsome, certainly. All the girls in the village were after him.
“Hi Rob, how are you?” you asked, leaning on the counter with a tired sigh. He smiled and shrugged.
“I can’t complain,” he said with that usual cheerfulness. You sighed again with a nostalgic smile. “Those muffins?”
“Bingo,” you said, putting a finger to your nose playfully as the young man picked up a bag of those precious sweets and placed them in front of you.
“Maybe you could take the recipe to Lady Beneviento. They said she’s a great cook,” your friend said, helping you put the muffins in a bag. You shook your head playfully, leaving some lei on the counter.
“No, no way,” you said with a sinister look, winking at him “If I do, I won't be able to come see you again.”
“Oh, no, these are on the house,” he said, rejecting your money, as almost always. You nodded amused with a wide smile.
“Th…” you said, before your stomach twisted again, almost making you lose your balance.
Roberto came out from the counter to quickly catch you before you fell to the floor, sitting you delicately on a chair.
“(Y/N), are you okay?” he asked worriedly, studying your paler than usual features. “Do you want a glass of water?”
“Okay, thanks,” you said, wiping the cold sweat off your neck.
You drank that water slowly, with your worried friend crouched in front of you.
“You don't look well,” the baker commented, studying your trembling. You, handing back the now empty glass, nodded your head in agreement.
“I guess I don’t…” you murmured, closing your eyes to relax. “I've been dizzy and exhausted for almost a month now.”
He nodded understandingly.
“I see,” he whispered, scratching the back of his neck.
“It's like everything I eat wants to come out suddenly, plus, I'm in a… Bad mood and I can't stop falling asleep during the day,” you explained in a calm voice. You knew that if Donna found out about your problems, she would turn into an overprotective psychopath, and that was the last thing you needed at that moment.
“Wow, you're a mess, huh?” he joked, giving you a nudge. You gave him a furious, but amused look.
“Yes, mess is the word,” you said in a hoarse whisper, shaking your head, noticing how little by little, the dizziness gave you a break again.
“It's funny, my wife got exactly the same when she was pregnant,” he commented indifferently, helping you to get up.
You froze, the dizziness returned to your stomach, but it was different. No, you hadn't thought about it, in no way you wanted to think that night when Donna hadn't been able to control herself had those consequences. It was something you ignored on purpose.
“Um, I... Thanks, Rob,” you said nervously, grabbing the bag and quickly leaving the bakery.
No, it couldn't be. It would be too much of a coincidence for a simple accident to lead to this. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible, right?
But Roberto was right and if you had stopped to think about the symptoms, maybe you would have been able to notice sooner. You definitely didn't want to notice. Scared by that remote possibility, you decided to spend the money you had left on a quick visit to the Duke. The test was cheap, what was always expensive was his silence.
You couldn't let Donna find out, especially if it turned out to be a false alarm.
“You took a while,” Donna commented, opening the door before you got close enough.
Not wanting to argue about her jealousy, you rolled your eyes with a calm smile.
“I've been talking to a friend,” you said. You were so nervous that you didn't even think it was a wrong answer, but you had bigger worries than an absurd fight of jealousy.
“A friend? What friend?” she asked, stopping your walk with a hand on your shoulder, turning your body slowly, with an inquisitive look.
You rolled your eyes and put on a cocky pose, blinking repeatedly in a mocking manner, rummaging through the bag of muffins.
“Donna, eat a muffin and shut up,” you said amused, taking one of the buns and pressing it against the brunette's mouth, who took it with a frown as you walked away from her.
“Wait, where are you going?” she said, comically with her mouth full.
“I'm going to the bathroom, do you want to come with me too?” you said a bit furious.
Donna shook her head and stood still, leaving you alone, fortunately.
“Did you bring something to me, silly?” that annoying doll Angie asked, jumping around you, delaying that important test.
“Yes, here, leave it in the kitchen,” you said, leaving the bag in the small arms of the puppet, who became unstable.
“Hey! Do you think I'm your servant?” Angie protested. Donna watched you from afar, in case the doll went too far with the insults again.
You sighed tired and overwhelmed by your symptoms, you turned around, giving the finger to the puppet, who backed away offended.
“Gods...” you sighed, when that test confirmed the suspicions you had been keeping away from. Yes, you were pregnant. You had to control your anxiety, your nerves, your desire to scream.
No, you were definitely not ready to be a mother. It was something you wanted to do, but not right then.
“Damn it, Donna, I told you to back off,” you said to yourself, remembering the night that had been this turning point in your life, and would be forever. “Oh, shit... What am I going to tell her?”
Of course, the idea of ​​starting a family was something foreign to your relationship. Donna never seemed to suggest something like that, or even mention it. Not knowing if she wanted to have children or not was a problem for you
How would she react? Should you really tell her?
The second question was absurd. It wouldn't do you any good to lie and avoid the conversation. It wouldn't take long for her to realize that a little Beneviento was growing in your belly.
You took some time to meditate on your options, to rehearse conversations that always went wrong. An unexpected change was the last thing you wanted, but after thinking about it for a few hours, the idea started to sound good in your head. The question was this: how would it sound in hers?
“Mm, hey, what is this?” you asked during dinner, your dizziness calm and your thoughts more organized.
You wanted conversation. You wanted the perfect occasion to communicate the news.
“Pasta cacio e pepe,” the lady in black answered, with a triumphant smile.
You looked at your plate and nodded in an amused manner.
“Sure, sure,” you joked, shrugging.
Donna laughed and shook her head, picking up the bottle of wine and tilting it over your glass, something you prevented by putting your hand on it.
“No, thank you,” you said in a soft voice.
“Don't you want some wine?” she asked with her eyebrow raised, but leaving the bottle back on the table, without insisting. You shook your head with a grimace of disgust.
“No, I don't feel like it,” you answered, dismissing it with a gesture of your hand.
“Water, then,” she said, picking up a jug and filling your glass with a tender smile.
She might have her flaws, but Donna was sweet, tender, romantic. Nothing could make you stop loving her, nothing.
“Thank you, darling,” you said in a mischievous whisper, raising your glass before drinking from it. The lady laughed again with a slight blush on her cheeks.
“I see you’re feeling better than this morning,” she commented, looking at you over her plate, bringing back to your mind what should be the main topic of that conversation.
You, having finished your delicious dinner, nodded, wiping yourself with your napkin.
“Yes, much better,” you murmured, hiding the trembling of your hands under the table. “You… How was your day?”
“What question is that?” the lady said, with an amused voice. “You have been with me almost all the time, well, you have slept with me almost all the time.”
“Yes, well, I was sleepy,” you said, shaking your head, letting the smile disappear from your face.
“You are so beautiful when you sleep…” she commented, with that tender, melodic voice, the one that made your heart beat faster.
But this time the tachycardia didn’t come from Lady Beneviento's compliments.
“More than when I am awake?” you asked in a dark voice, leaning over the table seductively.
Donna took a sip from her wine glass and put on a confused but amused expression.
“That's a difficult question, (Y/N),” she said in a whisper, caressing your trembling hand on the table and looking at you strangely.
“Can you two stop being cheesy for at least a second?” Angie protested, causing you to separate, thus blurring that perfect occasion for your confession. “How disgusting.”
“Angie…” you said annoyed, clenching your teeth.
“I'm going to pick this up,” Donna said, getting up from the table.
You couldn't let her go, you couldn't lie, hide the truth. She had to know, she was the love of your life.
“Wait, Donna,” you said, getting up hastily too, approaching her, who looked at you with an innocent smile. “I have, I have something to tell you.”
“I'm listening, (Y/N),” she murmured, nodding, studying your nervous tremors.
“I… Well, I… I, I don't know how to tell you but… Donna, I…” you stammered, being reassured by the brunette's hands, which took yours.
“Calm down, amore mio, you know you can tell me anything,” she said in a soft voice, without showing a single sign of concern. That was what you were looking for. There couldn't be a better time.
“I just don't, I don't know how… How…” you said trembling, comforted by a warm hug.
Your lips trembled and your body seemed to want to faint.
“Shhh, relax, I'm here with you,” she whispered, gently rocking your body.
It was now or never.
“Donna, I'm pregnant,” you said, squeezing your eyes tightly.
Silence was the worst answer.
“What?” the lady asked, pulling away from your embrace with a frightened look, shaking her head. “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am,” you said, searching for the test in your pocket and handing it to her slowly.
She snatched it from you abruptly, breathing heavily and looking at the result over and over again with a sinister smile.
“Is this some kind of a joke?” she asked annoyed, giving you back the test. You trembled, tears beginning to moisten your eyes.
“How can I joke about this?” you asked ironically.
She shook her head, her gaze fixed on the floor, blinking erratically and confused.
“No, no, it can't be…” she murmured, passing a hand over her forehead, her chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Of course it can be,” you said, a bit desperate, cupping her face in your hands so she could look at your eyes, so she could hear the truth of your words. “Donna, we’re, we're going to have a baby.”
“No, no, that, that's not true,” she said nervously, with a sinister look. “You're, you're talking nonsense.”
“It's not nonsense,” you said in a low voice, with a tear running down your cheek, not believing that so unlike her reaction. “The test doesn't lie, honey.”
“And you? Do you lie, (Y/N)?” she asked abruptly, grabbing your shoulders tightly, digging her nails into your clothes.
“What? Of course I don’t!” you shrieked, breaking free from her grip. “Stop, you're hurting me.”
“Are you asking me to stop? How dare you show up with that test and make me believe that I've gotten you pregnant?” she asked, with darkness in her gaze, with rage in her red eye, shining with a tear that ran down her pale face.
“For Gods’ sake, Donna, are you not able to understand?” you said desperately, trying to reason with the lady, without success, as her movements were increasingly nervous. “It's yours.”
“No, it's not mine,” she denied, with a voice that matched her gaze. “It can't be mine.”
“No?” you asked nervously, with a cold sweat running down your neck.
“It's not mine!” she shouted furiously, destroying the test with her hands, kicking the floor in anger.
“Of course it's yours! Have you gone crazy?” you said nervously and scared.
“What do you intend, (Y/N)? Do you want to make me believe that the fruit of your deception is mine? How dare you…” she hissed, grabbing you by the collar of your dress.
“What deception? Let, let me go,” you protested, grabbing her wrists so they wouldn't put pressure on your neck. “I, I don't know what you're talking about.”
Her face changed from anger to a sardonic smile, not lodging her grip on your clothes.
“Now I understand… That's why you go to the village so much, right? To fuck your lover…” Donna said with a broken, sinister voice, shaking you roughly.
“No, no…” you said, with serious difficulties to be able to speak clearly, horrified by her reaction. “Don’t, don't say that, you, you're the only person with whom…”
“Taci!” she shrieked, coming closer, with a threatening posture, with that eye shining angrily.
“Can’t you understand it? There is no lover, the baby is yours,” you said, grabbing her wrists when her hands finally let your dress go.
“It's not mine,” she growled angrily, clenching her fists on either side of her hips. “I always finish out of you…”
“That's not true,” you said, gaining a bit of firmness, changing your innocent voice. “Do you remember the night of the candles?”
“It was an accident,” she said, in her defense, without the hatred leaving her voice.
“You are… Ugh!” you protested, jumping angrily on the floor. “Are you so fucking crazy that you won't even admit that it was your fault? You didn't want to get away, Donna, you were out of control!” you accused the brunette.
You never blamed her for that, but at that moment the rage spoke for you.
She shook her head unpleasantly, with an expression of disgust, of hatred, hatred towards you.
“You're not going to cheat on me, (Y/N),” she hissed in a dark voice. “That child is not mine, and you know it.”
“It's yours, you freaking nutcase!” you screamed angrily, making your words bounce off the walls.
“Insult me ​​again, come on…” she whispered threateningly, grabbing you again by the collar of your dress, with her knuckles white from the pressure. You, already deep in tears, shook your head. “I shouldn't be surprised about you treating me like this. You were able to cheat on me, after all.”
“I didn't cheat on you!” you screamed among sobs, fighting against her grip, which threatened to tear your clothes. “Donna, I love you.”
“Liar!” she screamed furiously. “You've never loved me…”
“Donna, please…” you begged, at your lowest point. “It's your baby, our baby, you, you can't…”
“You've cheated on me, (Y/N), you've betrayed me…” she whispered, loosening the strength of her hand, with tears slowly running down her cheek.
“Donna, no, please, listen to me…” you said again, with your voice already broken, broken by crying. “It's your baby. It's your child, my love… I've always been loyal to you, always… Please, come to your senses, darling, please…”
“Shut up,” she interrupted you, shaking you roughly. “Sei una cagna”
Desperation made you growl, break free from the brunette's grip with a furious gasp and, with all your strength, slap the lady hard, who looked away due to the blow.
“You hit my Donna, you bitch!” Angie protested, hitting your shins. You were not paying attention to her.
The lady in black remained motionless, with one hand where yours had hit, with a serene gaze and nervous breathing, looking at you darkly.
“Gods, I'm, I'm sorry, Donna, I…” you said, regretful for your anger, for the slap you had given to the one you said was the love of your life. “For, forgive me, I didn't mean to…”
“Get out of my house,” she whispered, without looking you in the eyes, ignoring your attempts to grab her shoulders. You looked at her horrified.
“What? No…” you said in a soft, incredulous tone, shaking your head, broken from pain.
“I said…” Donna hissed, pushing you unpleasantly, almost making you lose your balance. “…Get out of my house.”
“You can't do this to me,” you sobbed, shaking your head. “Donna, please… You can't throw me out with your baby in my belly.”
“That's not my baby!” she shouted, with a psychotic look that made you back away. “I don't want to see you ever again. I want you to disappear from my life… You and that bastard.”
“Donna, please…” you begged, putting your hands together.
“Porca puttana! Get out! Get out, get out!” she yelled completely enraged, hitting the table, the chairs, roaring angrily. “Get out!”
Scared, unable to reason with her, you decided to run out of the estate, crying inconsolably, fleeing from what was your house, your home. You loved Donna, you really did, but you couldn't make her understand the reality. If you stayed, you could suffer a horrible fate, just like your baby.
It was the last time you saw her.
4 years later…
“What about the little bear? What does he prefer, honey or flowers?” you asked tenderly while bathing a little girl.
“Mm,” the girl said, with a hand on her chin, looking at the ceiling to better think about her answer. “Honey!”
“Honey? Wow, he's quite a glutton,” you said amused, washing the girl's black hair, an unmistakable one.
“But he doesn't eat sweets until he's finished his vegetables,” the girl said, jumping up and down in the tub. You looked at her proudly, rinsing her hair.
“Wow, what a polite bear…” you joked, picking up your daughter in your arms and wrapping her in a towel.
“Yes,” little Katia said, bringing her hand to her mouth, a hand you moved away so you could see her face better, a pale face, bright eyes, unmistakable features.
Four years after that argument, after Donna kicked you out of her house on the pretext that you had cheated on her, there you were, with your daughter, little Katia, at your parents' house.
You hadn't heard from the lady in black, and you didn't want to either. Even after all that time, you still loved her, you would always love her. And the situation couldn't be worse, because her daughter, her damn daughter, was like a living portrait of Lady Beneviento. She was identical to her: her hair, her face, even her smile.
How could you stop thinking about Donna if you had a little one living with you? How could she think that you had cheated on her? If only she had trusted you... She could have seen for herself how wrong she was.
At least your parents took you in, helped you with the pregnancy and didn't ask questions, because they knew the answer. Katia's birth was a source of joy for your family but, as the girl grew, the pressure on your shoulders did too.
“Mom…” the little girl murmured, protesting the tugging on her hair when you were combing it.
“What, honey?”
“Grandpa says I don't have a father…” the girl commented, causing you to clench your teeth.
“Grandpa says a lot of nonsense,” you said, sighing, tying your daughter's black hair into a small ponytail, highlighting her resemblance to the lady in black.
“So… I have a father?” she asked innocently. You closed your eyes, preventing the tears from reminding you of that horrible night.
“Well, not exactly, honey, you have another mother,” you explained, not wanting to hide the truth from little Katia. She would eventually find out, she was a very smart girl for being so young.
“Have I? That's great, and where is she?” Katia said excitedly, jumping with joy on the floor of the small bathroom.
“You know what? I think it's not the time to talk about these things... Do you smell that?” you said, diverting the conversation and pretending to smell something in an exaggerated way.
“Mmm, Grandma's stew!” she shouted happily, exiting the bathroom with a clumsy step.
“Run, honey, or Grandpa will eat it all,” you said amused, taking some time to wipe your tears before facing a tense dinner with your parents, another one.
“Well?” your father said, eating dinner almost in silence.
You looked up, narrowing your eyes.
“Have you found a boy to marry?” the man asked, sipping wine disinterestedly.
“Igor…” your mother sighed, helping her granddaughter to eat her delicious soup.
“Stop defending her, Oksana, that girl needs a father,” the man protested, glancing sideways at his granddaughter, who was playing quietly with her grandmother.
“She has a mother,” you murmured, playing with the spoon on your plate, nervous about the accusations of your father, who laughed mockingly.
“Don't make me laugh…” he said, rolling his eyes. “Those are the values ​​I've taught you, (Y/N)?”
“Igor,” your mother protested again, tired of her husband's attitude towards you.
You had a lot to thank your mother for.
“Sure, I guess I should let my daughter be impregnated by a Lord and then we have to take care of it, right?” your father said unpleasantly.
“Enough!” your mother shouted, her hands shaking, scaring poor Katia, who politely remained silent. “Don’t talk like that in front of the girl.”
Your father laughed, shaking his head.
“You were always too naive, (Y/N),” the man murmured. “Look, the concubine of nutcase Beneviento, your life is awesome.”
“Shut up!” you shouted, hitting the table with your fists. “You have no idea, father…”
“Enough, both of you,” your mother intervened. “You should be ashamed, what an example you set for Katia.”
“Tell it to him, mother,” you said, drinking a glass of water.
“I'm just telling you, (Y/N), that I'm not going to let my daughter to be a single mother, so you better get used to the idea of ​​getting married,” he said, in a softer tone, reassuring Katia with a caress on her cheek.
“I'm not going to do it,” you said in a childish way, staying faithful, always faithful to Donna.
“Can't we have a quiet dinner for once?” the woman said, shaking her head, sighing desperately.
“Tell it to him”
“Tell it to her”
“You're like children...” the woman murmured, wiping your daughter's face. Katia looked at you expectantly. Fortunately, she didn't seem to understand anything.
“Today is the harvest festival in the village,” she said, changing her expression, trying to ignore those eternal discussions.
“Festival...” your father said, amused, looking away from you.
“Why don't you take Katia? I'm sure she'll have fun,” your mother said.
You sighed, thinking about the idea, and nodded. Anywhere was better than being in that house.
“Yes, good idea.”
“Yes, yes!” your daughter said, being picked up by you.
“Give a kiss to them and get your coat,” you said, giving one last furious look to your father, who conveyed disappointment with his dark eyes.
Luckily, the cool night air cleared your mind. The harvest festival was a party, one of the few in that village, of course, to thank the Black Gods for their eternal mercy.
“I see little Katia is excited,” your friend Roberto commented, walking next to you and his daughters, who were playing with yours.
“This is much better than her grandfather giving moral lessons to her,” you said, joking. Your friend laughed amused.
“I guess so,” he commented, as the people of the village walked quickly towards the square. “Oh, wow, it's Mother Miranda's speech.”
“How exciting,” you said disinterestedly.
You weren't stupid. You knew who would be there with the priestess. You had been running away from her for four years, you didn't want to falter, you didn't want to see her, because you would throw yourself into her arms.
“We'll wait for you by the pancakes store.”
“Come on, mom, let's go see the bird woman,” your daughter said, taking your hand and pulling you towards the crowd.
“I think Katia doesn't feel like staying here…” your friend said, amused.
“Yes, it seems that way…” you sighed, controlling the speed of your daughter, who ran excitedly towards the middle of the square. “Hey, hey, here, stay here.”
“But mom…” the girl protested. “I can't see anything here.”
“Come on, I'll carry you up,” you said, picking up the girl and putting her on your shoulders.
Well, Katia could see and you would go unnoticed. It seemed like a good plan until a drunk villager tripped over you, forcing you to move one row ahead, to be completely exposed.
“Watch out, idiot,” you muttered, looking ahead to check that your suspicions were true.
“Look mom: it's Mother Miranda… How pretty she is…” the girl sighed, pointing indiscreetly at the four Lords, who remained seated behind the priestess.
“Honey, don't point your finger that way,” you said nervously when your eyes met Donna Beneviento's veiled face, making your heart almost stop. “Donna...”
Luckily, she didn't seem to see you, she seemed distracted controlling the nervous Angie.
Miranda gave her speech, a very boring one, which didn't interest you. Your eyes wandered to the lady in black, your mind wandered to all the happy memories, those memories truncated by her insecurities.
But you weren't the most subtle girl in the village either. The lady's head turned quickly to you. You couldn't see it, but you knew she was looking at you, you knew it. You could feel how her gaze stabbed your heart.
Her impression was so strong that she even got up from the chair, stopped by her sister, Lady Dimitrescu.
“Honey, come on, let's go home, huh?” you said nervously, turning around and avoiding people. You had seen her, she had seen you.
“But, mom!” the girl protested, twisting on your shoulders. You, growling at her disobedience, lowered her to the ground with a strict mother's face.
“Don't protest, Katia, obey,” you said nervously, looking around constantly. “We're going to say goodbye to Roberto, okay?”
The girl growled but obeyed with her arms crossed.
Your nerves were on edge and the feeling of overwhelm penetrated your movements. You wanted to get out of there.
“Why don't you come to my house tomorrow? We're going to have a barbecue,” your friend said, after giving you a goodbye hug.
“Is Irina cooking?” you asked amused, not realizing that your daughter had let your hand go.
“Gods, no,” he answered. “Run, she's getting away from you,” he said, pointing at your daughter, who was running behind some bushes.
“Damn it... See you,” you said hurriedly, running after your daughter, who had gotten lost in the darkness. “Katia! Come back here!”
You chased the girl through those bushes, and when you didn't find her, you started to get very nervous.
“Katia!” you shouted scared, desperate. “Katia!”
“Why honey?” a shrill voice asked, near a clearing dimly lit by a streetlight.
You, scared, followed that voice.
“Because mom says that bears like honey,” your daughter's voice soothed you, making you close your eyes.
“Is that what your mom says?” the strange voice asked, one you didn't take long to recognize, Angie.
“Yes, my mom knows a lot of things. She's very smart, and very good,” Katia said, sitting on the ground next to the doll.
“Katia, Gods…” you interrupted, lifting your daughter.
“Well, well, what do we have here?” the doll said, with a mocking tone. You narrowed your eyes and hugged your daughter tightly.
“Don't go close to her, Angie,” you threatened, stepping back.
“Is this how you greet me after all this time? How rude,” the doll protested, moving comically making your daughter laugh in your arms.
“Come on, Katia,” you said nervously, turning around to leave that place as quickly as possible.
“I want to play with Angie, mom,” the girl said, moving until you had no choice but to drop her to the ground, running towards the puppet.
“No, wait,” you said nervously, scared.
“(Y/N),” a dark voice sounded behind you, a melodic, soft voice, that made you freeze in place and turn slowly. Donna. “It's been a long time.”
“Donna,” you sighed, upset by her presence, with your heart screaming for you to kiss her. You couldn't do it, she threw you out, she rejected you, she rejected her baby.
“I've been trying to talk to you for four years,” she said, getting a little closer while you, out of the corner of your eye, watched as Angie played with your daughter innocently.
“Haven't you thought that maybe I don't want to talk to you? Katia, come on,” you said furiously, with accumulated resentment, but without any change in your feelings. With a quick movement, you grabbed your daughter and tried to run away, but it was impossible.
“Wait, please…” the lady said, stopping you again. She didn't need to cast a spell on you, to make you hallucinate. No, just her voice was enough to make your body behave that way.
“Hello,” your daughter said, looking curiously at the lady, who looked at her, breathing with difficulty. “What's your name?”
“Katia,” you protested at the girl's innocent attitude.
“My, my name is Donna,” the doll maker said, with a broken voice, almost in a whisper.
“Hello, Donna, my name is Katia,” your daughter said, extending her small hand towards her, who shook it gently, her chest heaving. “You wear very strange clothes.”
“Katia,” you said, interrupting your daughter again
After four years, you could hear that shy laugh again, the sweet and addictive laugh of Donna Beneviento.
“I'm in a hurry, Donna,” you said passively, trying to run away again.
“She, she looks like me…” the lady in black commented, in a desperate attempt to stop you again. You nodded without her seeing you, suppressing a sob.
“She looks just like you,” you said in a low voice, turning slowly again.
“So, this, this girl is…” she stammered, putting a hand under her veil to cover her mouth in shock. “She's my daughter…”
“You realize now, right? Four years after kicking me out of your house,” you said, letting the resentment speak for you again.
“(Y/N), I…” she murmured, reaching out to touch you, something you stopped with a furious gasp.
“Don't come closer, Donna,” you said through clenched teeth, with your daughter looking at you confused, lowering herself to the ground. “Stand behind me, Katia.”
The girl obeyed, scared, poking her head out from your dress.
“I, I already knew it before, but, when I saw her, I…” the lady murmured, approaching you again, making you back away.
“Did you know? You accused me of having deceived you, you said that baby wasn't yours,” you growled furiously.
“I, I know… I, I wasn't thinking clearly, I…”
“You've never thought clearly,” you hissed, your eyes shining with your tears.
“Lady Donna, are you my mother?” the girl asked timidly.
You closed your eyes, passing a hand over your forehead and sighing.
It was inevitable, you were at a dead end and your principles could not be lost in resentment. When you held little Katia in your arms for the first time, you swore to never lie to her.
“Yes, honey, she is your mother,” you whispered, looking at the lady in black, who shifted in place as the girl came out from behind your legs, walking slowly towards her.
Donna crouched down to be at the little girl's level, looking up at you, as if she were asking for your permission.
You nodded, letting a tear run down your cheek.
“Hi, mommy,” the little girl said, greeting the lady innocently, scared by that black veil.
“Hi, tesoro,” answered Donna, extending her hand towards her, which the girl took hesitantly. “Can I give you a hug?”
The girl nodded with her other hand on her mouth, as she always did when she got nervous. But, without thinking, she threw herself into the arms of the brunette, who lifted her in the air, sobbing, holding her tightly against her chest.
“Uhg, take that off, you're going to give her nightmares,” you said resignedly, walking towards Donna and taking her black veil, revealing her face to the girl who looked at it in surprise.
Curious, the girl, in her mother's arms, moved her hands to Donna’s face, caressing it innocently, running her hands over her scar.
Donna's smile was... It was the most beautiful and sincere one you had ever seen.
“You have black hair, like me,” the amused little girl said, excited to meet her mother, to meet her after those horrible four years. The little girl's tenderness took its toll on your body, which squeezed the black veil tightly.
“Yes,” said Donna, fixing the little girl's hair, observing each of her features. “Che bella sei, mm?”
“Mommy speaks weird,” Katia said with a frown.
You, with a fearful step, approached a little closer.
“It's not weird, Katia, it's Italian,” you explained, rubbing the back of your daughter, who seemed very comfortable with Donna, too comfortable.
“Wow…” she said, impressed, as always, by everything.
“Do you want to learn, tesoro? I can teach you,” the lady in black said, without losing that smile.
“Yes, yes,” the toddler said with an excited smile.
The lady's expression faded with an air of sadness, lowering her back to the ground.
“Well, I guess that won't be possible,” she murmured with a sob, unable to look you in the eyes. “Thank you, (Y/N), for letting me to meet her.”
You shook your head, your throat sore from your repressed crying.
“Why do you make everything so difficult, Donna?” you asked, handing her back the black cloth, which she slowly picked up.
“Calm down, (Y/N), I, I don't expect you to forgive me, I know you don't, I can't be forgiven,” she said.
“Uhhh, come Katia, before they do something cheesy again,” Angie said, pulling your daughter away from you. “Do you like rock paper scissors?”
“Yes, I play with Grandpa!” the girl shouted, following the puppet.
You sighed, not trusting Angie, as was logical.
“You kicked me out of your house, Donna. You accused me of having cheated on you. You left me alone while I was pregnant with your daughter. You're right, you have no forgiveness,” you said, crossing your arms, keeping your composure.
“I know… I, I don't want to annoy you, I just…” she stammered, with her face broken by regret. “I just, I just want to be able to, to be able to see my daughter from time to time, that's all I ask. If, if the other person agrees.”
“What? What other person?” you asked confused, with a mocking laugh.
“I'm not stupid, (Y/N), I know, there's surely someone in your life who, who deserves your love much more than me,” Donna said, lowering her head, sobbing nervously.
“There's no one in my life, Donna,” you said in a serious voice. The lady opened her mouth to say something, but didn't, letting you speak. “You still don't understand, do you? There has never been, there will never be anyone in my life other than you.”
“But, but, (Y/N)… You, you can't keep loving me. Not after what I did to you,” she said, revealing your own confession, the truth that still lived in your heart.
“That's your problem, Donna. You take too many things for granted,” you sighed, fixing your hair.
“I still love you,” she said quietly, slowly approaching, taking one of your hands in hers by surprise. You allowed it. “If I could change things, make it so you had never left, I would…”
You couldn't take it anymore, you had to do it. Your body moved, your hands caressed her cheek while your lips landed on hers slowly at first, desperately later.
“(Y/N)…” she sighed, painfully moving away from you.
“No matter how hard I try, I can't stop loving you,” you sighed, resting your head on her chest, letting her trembling arms hold you close to her.
“I’m begging you, amore mio, come back to me, please…I , I can't live without you…” she sobbed, hugging you desperately, almost hurting you. “Please, let's be a family, the three of us, please…”
“A family…”you sighed, sinking into the black fabric of her dress, into her lavender perfume. “Sounds, sounds good, doesn't it?”
“Mom…” a childish voice interrupted your hug. Katia tugged curiously at your dress. “I'm cold, shall we go home?”
You and Donna looked at the girl and then at each other, kissing passionately for a brief moment, finding forgiveness, reconciliation, hope that you had fixed what seemed broken.
“Yes, honey, let's go home, the four of us...”
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spacebarbarianweird · 11 months ago
Text
Heartbeat
A short fluff for BG3 Winter Holiday Challenge.
Prompt: Snow&Ice
Tags: fluff, pregnancy
Read on AO3
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Headcanons
Astarion gasps as the freezing grasp of the nightmare lets him go. He doesn't remember what exactly decided to torment his mind this time, but it wasn't anything pleasant, that's for sure.
For a few seconds, Astarion can't understand where he is. It's a dark room with a low wooden ceiling. The blizzard howls, threatening to freeze to death anyone who dares step outside.
"Hm?", he hears a sweet sleepy voice. Gentle hands wrap around his body. "Nightmares again?"
Astarion turns his face to you. The warmth of your body returns him to reality, washing away the dirt of the cruel visions.
"It's all right", he whispers back. "Sleep."
You adjust yourself to his body, intertwining your legs with his and placing your head on his chest. You are so close he can hear blood streaming through your veins.
Before, he could ask you for blood. But not now.
Your rounded belly rests on his stomach. Your half-elven body easily betrays your pregnancy - it's visible to everyone with eyes.
And Astarion is scared. That is probably what came to him in the nightmare. Something about this thing that's so natural for mortals and so unnatural for the undead.
Pregnancy.
He caresses the belly trying to concentrate on something else. On something good.
But, gods know, it's difficult.
"Astarion, you are starving. You need to go on a hunt", you whisper to him, finally opening your eyes.
"I didn't know you were so eager to become a single mother", he chuckles. "It's too cold even for me"
"Maybe you will ask someone in the town? They will gladly share animal blood with you."
"Trust me, they tolerate me only because not once in these five years I've tried to feed on something that belongs to them. Vampires can live without food for years, love. I can wait at least a day before the blizzard ends."
You sigh and tug him closer. He can see your freckles, these gorgeous sunmarks. Red hair. Half-elven ears.
He still can't fathom this idea. It's something abstract, unreal. Just a word without a meaning. Your body is changing. Sometimes you have such insane mood swings he has no idea what to do. And you feel so delicate in his arms that he is afraid to hurt you.
"Are you afraid?", you finally ask.
"Yes. I am."
A pleasant silence falls once again.
"Me too. Considering how shitty my own mother was, it's not like I have a healthy maternity example. On the bright side, I have a very clear idea of what I am not supposed to do with an innocent child."
"It will probably be a dhampir, love. Aren't you afraid of that? That it's just a monster inside you?"
"I willingly went to bed with you. What else would I expect?"
You hug him tight and he is lost in your breathing and the heartbeat. So alive. So kind. So brave.
He willingly went to bed with someone whose weapon of choice is a two-handed axe he can't even lift. Someone who could easily pet a dragon. What else did he expect? Of course you aren't afraid of monsters.
But it doesn't mean he isn't scared of the future to come.
"I am cold", you suddenly say.
"I am sorry", he tries to pull away - his cold body isn't a great source of warmth.
"Don't move!" you tighten your muscles not allowing him to go.
"I will make you colder."
"So what?"
He gives up and keeps enjoying your warmth. Does the baby have this warmth, too? Or it's more undead than mortal? It bugs Astarion that he hasn't found any information on how the pregnancy is supposed to progress if the child is a dhampir.
Does it even have a heartbeat?
It seems like you have fallen asleep once again. He smiles, studying your face in the dark.
The sound of a blizzard lulls him so is your breathing. Nothing to be afraid of. The past is past, no matter how horrible it was.
And then Astarion hears another sound.
He can't understand what this is and is surprised that your heartbeat feels so weak.
Then he hears yours, loud and stong.
And the other one, weak and hardly identified by his sharp senses.
It seems like he flinches because you are awake again.
"What is it?"
Astarion sits up and puts his hands on the belly. The tears flow down his pale face and he doesn't try to wipe them away.
"My love, what happened?" you reach out for his curls and touch the tip of the right ear.
"I-", the words are stuck in his throat. "It's the heartbeat. I can hear our child's heartbeat!"
Astarion tugs you closer for a kiss. He laughs joyfully, muttering words of gratitude in Elven as if forgetting how to speak Common all of a sudden.
You spend what looks like an eternity in each other arms. Then, you pull away a bit.
"Astarion. I am so sorry to ruin the moment but I am dying of hunger, too. Can we go downstairs? I will fetch something for myself and the baby."
He chuckles. "Don't be ridiculous, darling. You stay in the warmth under the blanket and I will cook for you."
"You?" you laugh innocently. You've been together for twenty years and Astarion rarely has to cook only if you fell so sick he has to feed you.
"Well, I suppose our child won't drink blood. So, I have a few more months to learn how to prepare food."
"At least let me help you before you burn the house", you reach out for him and he lifts you in the air. "Will you get me back on my feet?"
"No, why should I?"
You put your head on his chest. "All right, then. Carry us downstairs, my beautiful husband!"
--
Tag list
@tragedybunny @caitlincat-95 @tallymonster@astarion-beloved@lumienyx @fayeriess@elora-the-slutty-songstress@veillsar@astarion-imagine-archive @micropoe10 @starlight-ipomoea@herstxrgirl @theearthsfinalconfession @ashiro20 @not-so-lost-after-alll @vixstarria @wintersire @marcynomercy @tugoslovenka
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shisabun · 6 days ago
Text
Before I start, I just want to say thank you to the husbands, brothers, and fathers who voted to support their daughters, sisters, and wives. What I'm about to say doesn't include you.
To the women who voted for Trump, you are a disgrace. Thanks to you, your children and grandchildren will be forced to fight the war that was won by your grandmothers.
You sit content and joyful while others mourn. You laugh in the face of their fears when there's a knife floating above your head poised to fall. You have no idea what's coming, but any woman with half a braincell does.
Let me tell you a story. My great aunt was basically my grandmother. She was born in the 1930s in Spain. Right after their revolution. Right after Spain became a dictatorship. She told me so many stories in her final years that I'll keep with me for the rest of my life. But I'll give one example.
One of her closest friends married young. Her husband claimed she was unfaithful and literally beat her to death. He was never arrested. He was never convinced. He walked away free and remarried in less than a month. Catholicism wouldn't allow divorce back then. He wanted to get remarried and simply got away with it because he was a cop. Franco gave cops full impunity. So does Project 2025.
I know some people reading this are rolling their eyes, and you know what?
Fuck. You. You are trash.
That girl was murdered at 20, and her killer walked free after openingly admitting it. My Tia never told me her name, but she carried her in her heart until the day she died at 98. And so do I.
To my fellow women who are mourning and scared right now, I'll give you the same advice my mother gave me. "Have your cry. Then get up and get things done. You're strong enough not to have this break you."
You are Mary and Esther. You are Caterina Sforza. You are Princess Diana. You are Anna May Wong. You are the living legacy of every woman who has come before you. You carry their strength, their courage, and their determination.
This shit is going to suck. Pure and simple. But we'll do what we've always done. We'll bite and claw our way to a better future. We'll tear down every obstacle so our children and grandchildren will have an easier path to walk.
We are dragons in human form. Steel your heart and give them nothing. Do not give them your affection, your care, or your bodies. Fuck being demure and mindful. When they spew hate, you spit fire. When they ask for your smile, you give them your fangs. Become a walking inferno that they have no choice but to take note of. Do not yield.
You are powerful, and you are not alone. You are a sister in a coven that is millions strong. You are the daughters of the witches they couldn't burn.
To my fellow Millennials. I know you're tired. Our young adult lives were stolen from us, and we've been struggling uphill ever since. But do what the previous generation never did for us. Fight. Fight for the ones that are entering adulthood. Fight for the children who have no idea what they're about to grow into.
They called us snowflakes for pointing out their flaws. Fine. Let's give them a fucking blizzard. If they try to build momentum, we stop them. We are at the age where we need to be both shield and anchor. Let. Nothing. Pass.
We're about to face an orange shitstorm of epic proportions. But we'll do as we've always done. We fight, we endure, and we win. In the words of Samwise Gamgee, "There's good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."
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rabbitsrams · 1 year ago
Text
snowy mornings - jschlatt x reader
warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, teensy bit suggestive at the end :)
wordcount: 1.1k
a/n: its not even close to winter but i wrote most of this in one sitting so enjoy hehe
Tumblr media
(moodboard by me, pictures not mine)
The sun barely peeks past the clouds. Small sprinkles of snow are still falling from the gray sky as Schlatt leaves the house. 
He's all bundled up. He's wearing at least four layers underneath his coat, something his mother always insisted he do. A hat that you got him as a gift is snug on his head and thermal gloves he's had since he was sixteen keep his hands warm. 
He looks through one of the windows of the house as he walks to the sidewalk, knowing you are still sleeping. He wishes he could be back in bed with you. Wishes he could have you in his arms. Wishes he was wrapped in blankets with you by his side as the heater warms the room.
But he's got a shovel in his hand, carrying the thing over his shoulder while he goes to the corner of the block, freezing his ass off even through all the layers.
His poor neighbors, elderly and helpless. They always thanked him whenever he shoveled for them, asking their children to come over and bring him some baked goods once the afternoon came. He didn't do it for some reward or anything, he knew some fucker would try to fall on their unshoveled property and “sue them for all they're worth,” as he told you one time. He just wanted to help them out and make sure their pathways were cleared.
He forgot to bring headphones out, so instead of blasting King Krule and Radiohead, he listened to the scraping of the metal against the concrete. The scraping that echoed throughout the entire block, likely waking light sleepers from their slumber. You were one of those light sleepers, and yet you stayed asleep. 
It was taxing going around the corner and back to his house to clear pathways for walkers alike. His neighbors would do it as well but in due time. They weren't early risers like he was. But only in the winter.
Memories of his father waking him and his brother up at ungodly hours to shovel after overnight blizzards crashed their way into New York. Those mornings were silent as well; it was like the grating scraping was music to his father's ears.
He managed to complete all the shoveling in less than an hour, his personal record. 
Quickly walking back up the driveway as the sun completely rose, he placed the shovel against the garage and went back inside, shivering and stomping the snow out of his boots. 
He yawned as he took his hat off. He placed it on the flat part of the handrail, looking at how the snow immediately started to melt into the fur. The gloves were next, he was shocked his fingers weren't completely numb. Then the jacket, also hastily hung next to yours, untouched since yesterday. The boots were left right by the door to be moved later as he walked up the stairs and to the bedroom where he discarded the extra layers.
He didn't see you stir as he entered the room. Even in your tired state, you could tell he was out of bed. You opened your eyes and saw him undressing, remaining in an old t-shirt from his father's college days and flannel pajama bottoms you often coveted.
You stretch, yawning softly. That gets his attention. He walks toward the bed and wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. You're shocked awake by how cold his nose is.
“You're so warm...” he says, your neck muffling his words.
“Baby, you're freezing,” you hum as you pull him into bed with you. “Did you go out and shovel?”
“I always do.”
“Aww...” you kiss him on the cheek as you wrap the blanket around him. “You're so good.” 
He hums a response, cuddling close to you. He holds you tight against him, wrapping his limbs around you in an awkward manner.
“You are too fucking tall.” You joke. 
“And you are too fucking beautiful,” He kisses your neck many times. “And warm.”
“Go back to sleep, honey. You need to rest.”
“'S long as I can hold you in my arms like this, I'll sleep forever.”
You giggle, your laughter turning into a soft yawn. “Even when you're tired as shit you're still corny...” Your eyes close as you begin to stroke his hair.
He wakes before you once more five hours later. Your hand is still resting on the side of his head while the hand where your wedding ring rests is closer to his face. 
He shifts slightly so he can have a better view of you. Your mouth is slightly agape as you breathe, your nose too stuffed for you to breathe through it properly. He can see the gap between your two front teeth, something that makes your smile all the more beautiful.
You eventually wake to the sight of your husband watching you. He’s smiling softly, tiredness still present in his eyes. “Hey, you all warmed up?”
“I am… you’re so pretty…” He lays his head on your chest. You smile, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Stay here, I’m gonna go get something,” You say as you try to get out of bed. He tries to grab you and bring you back to bed. “Just give me ten minutes, fifteen at most.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
You come back ten minutes later with a steaming mug of hot chocolate. He’s sitting up at this point, a hand running through his messy hair. He smiles when he smells the steaming beverage and reaches his arms out as you place it on the bedside table. You get back into bed and snuggle close to him as he blows on the drink.
“You remembered the marshmallows…” Schlatt says, a yawn obstructing his words. 
“Of course I did.” You say. He laughs softly and wraps an arm around you. He tries to take a sip of the hot chocolate but hisses in pain as it burns his tongue.
“Aw, fuck.”
“Burns?”
“Yeah,” Schlatt waves a hand in front of his open mouth to try and ease the pain.
“Want me to kiss it better?” You joke. He nods, leaning close to you. You grin as you cup his face in your hands, the hair on his muttonchops tickling your palms. You press your lips to his softly, letting out a soft noise of surprise when he slides his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. He tastes like hot chocolate and home.
When you pull away, his face is tinted red. “All better?” You ask, feeling your face heat up.
“Um…” Schlatt pretends to think for a moment. “I don’t think so.” He tugs at the hem of your, his, sleep shirt.
“Oh… well I definitely need to do something about that.” You raise your arms above your head and allow him to take the garment off before leaning in once again.
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