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aduckwithears · 1 year ago

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Sharing this in its own post. See here for context - basically a scene in Job's basement "planning" what to do with the kids... like most of their plans it is lacking in details, but makes up for that with longing glances. (i guess i write fic now??)

---

I'm torn, because this conversation could have happened in the cellar, or it could have been a speed-run on the way back from seeing God talk to Job. Anyway, I ended up writing the first scenario. Feel free to fill in the blanks afterward with any, um, more physical activities you like, you degenerates (affectionate).

Aziraphale's First Magic Trick (or, how Crowley unwittingly starts the career of The Amazing Mister Fell, an act which will have Repercussions)

Aziraphale is very full. He's never been fuller. Although he has no reference point for his own stomach, he is starting to suspect that a human would never consume an entire ox. By oneself. In one sitting.

He glances over at Crawley who seems to be completely enjoying himself, lounging with head lolling back, his wine cup half raised, and eyes half closed. There is a temptation to linger on this sight, but Aziraphale remembers (after several longish moments) that he, as an angel, cannot be tempted, and rapidly readjusts his gaze. It falls upon a clay bowl and 3 multicolored shape-shifted children.

"Crawley, the children!"

"Hmmm?"

"The children! They can't stay newts!"

Crawley hoists himself up on one elbow and looks over at the bowl. "Nahh, not newts. They're a type of lizard - meant for the desert, them. They're fine."

Aziraphale levels a stern, if slightly greasy stare in the direction of the demon. "That's not what I meant. How are you planning to return them to their parents?"

Crawley looks surprised. He had been trying to think of the exact type of lizard the form of the transformation had taken. He thought it might be a grecian but that didn't seem quite right. Greco? Still not it... He tries to focus through the wine. "Back to their parents? Doesn't seem very demonic." He shakes his head. "I got rid of them - no more kids, poof, gone - seems like it would take a miracle to get them back." He waves a hand dismissively.

Aziraphale huffs out a breath. "Well, they can't stay that way forever. If we could get them back to Sitis and Job after the bet is over, maybe they could be taken as new children..." He trails off, realizing what he is saying.

Crawley is now sitting all the way up, wine goblet forgotten and dangling from his fingers as he slowly raises both eyebrows and aims a golden gaze at the angel. "Ohhhh, do go on," he drawls.

Finding it suddenly very important to look anywhere but Crawley, Aziraphale feels his shoulders hunch. The taste in his mouth is too oily and his tongue seems raw. "Ahhhh," he says eloquently, casting his eyes about the cellar and encountering bare oxen ribs in his attempt to not look at the attentive demon. He turns his gaze miserably to the floor.

Several minutes pass and the uncomfortable silence grows, until a wiggle turns into a rustle turns into a black dressed form elegantly scooting (possible if you were once a snake and your human spine is open to suggestion) a little closer to his despondent companion.

"What about a magic trick?"

Aziraphale flicks his eyes over to where Crawley sits nearby, long legs folded, gazing up at him. "A... trick,” he manages over his oily tongue.

"Look," says Crawley, "between you and me, Gabriel couldn't tell these kids from Cain and Abel. I doubt he can even count to three." Aziraphale chokes a little, halfway between a laugh and gasp, but he must hand it to the demon, Gabriel has never seemed to be the brightest angel in the choir. He thinks about his recent conversations in Heaven and Gabriel’s insistence that God will provide seven new children to Job. Via Sitis (oh that poor woman).

The red hair and beard shimmer in the low light as Crawley leans forward and catches Aziraphale's eyes with his own. "So we'll do a magic trick. Sitis's births have to start sometime, why not right away?"

"Because... uh... well, you see..." Aziraphale himself is completely at sea. He reflects that perhaps humans do not eat entire oxen because it seems to diminish the power of thought. Does he have a general working knowledge of human reproduction? Yes. (He'd been on the human planning committee after all). Could he explain it to the wide-eyed being sitting in front of him? No. This is probably due to the taste of oxen stifling his brain. No other reason. Certainly not.

Crawley sighs, points to decimated ox. "Do ya get it? Ribs!" He grins.

Aziraphale feels his mouth drift open. He looks at the ox, ribs glinting white in the flickering light. He remembers another day, a flickering morning, and a woman taking her first breaths… and more importantly, a birth process Gabriel would believe… “Eve!”

The demon’s grin, impossibly, widens. “Exactly. Even if there are a few angels hanging around it should be easy to plant a few ribs, sneak in a few lizards” (what WERE they called? Gemini? Arghh…) “…and poof! Kids!” His hands flutter in the air. A distant, anachronistic part of Aziraphale’s brain categorizes these as Jazz Hands.

“Magicians!” Aziraphale allows himself a small smile. His shoulders relax. He crinkles his eyes towards Crawley, misses the small intake of breath from his demonic cellar-mate. “That could work!” He hesitates. “As long as no one asks directly which children these are, we should be fine!”

Crawley scoots back and resumes his comfortable position from earlier, refills the forgotten goblet, raises another toast. “Angel, the archangel Gabriel wouldn't notice if his wings were on backward. You bring the ribs and gecko-kids (that was it!! Geckos! Course it was!), I’ll do the talking. We’ll be fine." He takes a deep drink of wine.

Aziraphale's smile grows and he thinks that maybe a few of those ox bones need a little more work to be truly clean. He wiggles a little at the anticipation of the rich taste. He casts a quick glance at his companion, who seems, true to his word, not particularly lonely. His magician’s assistant. They will be fine.

#please be kind its the first fic longer than like 3 lines that i've ever written #but it just kind of happened #so happy halloween i guess?#morning reblog #good omens ficlet #the job job #the job minisode #a companion to owls #that night in job's cellar #tumblr fic #good omens fic #good omens fan fiction #ineffable husbands #azriacrow #a duck writes

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writing-a-to-b · 2 years ago

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Title: Autumn Word Count: 3,460 Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader (with a side of platonic Ellie Williams X Reader) A/N: This work is written in collaboration between @specialagentmonkey & @bangaveragewhitewine.

We’re back! We are planning to post weekly; two more seasons, plus some ~interludes~ in between the main seasons fics.

Thanks for reading folks, any comments and feedback are greatly appreciated! Follow and turn on notifications if you would like to hear when we post the other seasons / chapters, or sign up to our taglist to be kept up to date with what we post!

We do not give permission for our work to be posted on other sites.

Seasons of Us Masterlist

Contains: domestic goodness, illusions to sexy time

—

Autumn brought rain to Jackson; steely grey skies that prepared the town for the snowy months ahead. It’s raining now. Joel knows the rain has come because your hair is damp; not because he can hear the rain behind the banging and sawing he’s been doing in the workshop, and not with the near constant ringing in his ears, that he is usually able to tune out.

Joel loses himself in his work so you made sure - as often as you could - to bring him his lunch that you packed him that morning. The lunch that he forgot to put into his pack before coming down to the workshop. You know he probably does it on purpose just so he can see you during the day. Your jobs move you around Jackson with the seasons; fruit picking and tending to the greenhouses or the animals, supervising in the schoolhouse. No matter where you were, what kept you busy from dawn until dinner time, you always made sure to go have lunch with your man.

“Mr Miller,” you greeted while pulling the workshop door closed to keep the wind and rain out. You wiped your boot-clad feet, “The lunch you forgot - again.” You fixed him with a pointed look as you held out the plastic container.

Joel rose from the stool and quickly wiped his hands on a dusty rag before closing the gap between you, kissing your cold lips with a hum. “You’re wet,” he said, scrunching up his face and lifting a hand to run over your damp hair.

You scoffed and nudged the box into his stomach, “Rain’ll do that to ya.”

Joel took the offered plastic container. “I didn’t forget it, not this time anyway,” he admitted with a sheepish smile that made you roll your eyes.

“I knew you were doing it on purpose,” you huffed and shook your head before pecking him once more, “I brought mine to eat with you.”

Joel nodded and turned back to the workbench seeing the clutter and chaos, scratching the back of his neck. “Jus’...gimme a sec,” he mumbled and moved around the bench to clear some space, brushing off the worst of the sawdust and clearing any nails out of the way.

“Ever the gentlemen,” you teased as you perched onto the second stool Joel had brought over.

The silence that followed wasn’t awkward, it never was for you and Joel. You’d been together for so long it was just being with each other, neither of you felt the need to fill the silence with small talk. Both of you got stuck into the packed lunches only briefly interrupted by Joel when he left the bench to go into the back of the workshop, coming back with two steaming cups of the mint tea that he had grown reluctantly fond of.

After the lunches were eaten you held the cup between your hands, appreciating the warmth it brought to them.

“How’s the decoration makin’ goin’?”

“We think we’ve got most of it done, the children have loved doing it. We’re hoping that the weather holds off until after Halloween but…who knows.” You shrugged, glancing over your shoulder out the window, “I just hope the pumpkins grow…”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Last winter was awful for the ground, we’ve had so much trouble with the gardens this year in the spring,” you explained softly, “We’re all rooting for the pumpkins because it’s not Halloween without them and it’s going the first Halloween that we’ve managed to find and plant pumpkin seeds - but what if they aren’t ready in time?”

Joel seemed to ponder for a moment his mug paused resting at his chin, “Well…if they ain’t my Momma used to say that years ago- and I mean years before anythin’ went to shit, when they didn’t have pumpkins they carved turnips,” he paused seeing the slightly bemused expression on your face, “Y’got any big turnips?”

You couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up at the thought, carving out turnips. It seemed ridiculous, but very plausible.

Joel deflated and huffed at your laughter, “Just an idea, you don’t gotta laugh at me-”

“No no, no, I’m not laughing at you,” you stopped yourself, put your cup down and slid off the stool to come stand beside him, leaning into his upper arm. “I wasn’t laughing at you, it was just the image of people carving out turnips, it- I found it funny,” you slid your hand up his back and over the collar of his flannel shirt to the back of his neck, “It’s a wonderful idea. Thank you for sharing that with me, about your mom.”

He raised his eyebrow and gave you a sideways glance. The teasing lilt in your voice was still there but the kiss you laid to his cheek did the trick. “Alright, now go on. I’ve got work to do.”

Grinning against the beard on his cheek, you cup his jaw to turn his face towards you, placing a slow kiss to his lips, “Are you kicking me out after I brought you food?”

Joel hummed against your lips, his free arm wrapping around your waist, “Yup,” he said once your lips separated. “‘Cause you, darlin’ are a distraction and I don’t wanna have’ta get stitches again.”

“That,” you pointed a finger at him, poking his chest, “Was not my fault.”

He hummed, unconvinced, and gave your backside a tap, “Rather be safe than sorry.”

“You’ll be home for dinner, yeah? Ellie is joining us tonight.” You told him as you started packing up the plastic containers.

“Aint she out with- uh…”

“Dina,” you supplied with a small smirk and nodded, “She is, but she’s coming home for dinner.”

“Right.”

“So,” you slipped into your coat with Joel’s help, “Make sure you’re home.”

Joel held either side of your coat, “Yes darlin’,” bringing you closer to his chest, “I promise, I’ll be home for dinner.”

—

The early Autumn rain eased over the next few weeks as the fall season brought crisp cool days and crunchy leaves to sweep and gather in piles. The younger townsfolk took great pleasure in jumping in said piles, their laughter ringing through the streets made you warm inside; they had a chance at having a real childhood in this town, far from a QZ or a regimented FEDRA upbringing, tucked behind Jackson’s safe walls.

You swapped recipes with your neighbours, making the most of the meat the hunters brought back and the vegetables from the community garden. Best of all was the pumpkins. News of their growth and readiness for harvest in time for the holiday spread through the town; you brought it right to Joel yourself, along with warm homemade soup for lunch.

“It’s not just that they’re ready to be harvested in time for Halloween, Joel. We’ll save the seeds for sewing, that’s almost a guarantee for next year…” You spoke with a childlike glee of roasted pumpkin, stews and soups and pies, and the plans for pumpkin-carving with the little ones in the schoolhouse.

Joel’s spoon hovered in mid-air as he watched you, that small smirk on his lips. Seeing you so happy made his chest tighten in the best way.

You caught him staring - no, gazing was far more accurate - and stopped, almost breathless from your happy rant. “Sorry. Eat. I just.. I never even cared much about Halloween that much… not until this year.” You shrugged as your cheeks tinted with warmth.

“Shit baby, I could listen to you all day. I’m really pleased.” Joel’s hand covered yours and he squeezed. “Hey. Least we won’t have to carve turnips,” he winked, seeing you soften again.

“Hey I still might, Miller.” You point your spoon at him, “Put it out on the porch too.”

You both continued with your lunch, swapping summaries of how your days were going, any tidbits of gossip you had heard - pumpkin-related and otherwise - until your bowls were empty and bellies full.

“Oh shoot. Did Tommy tell you? Doreen found a stash of old movies in her attic - they’re gonna show The Addams Family for the kids at Halloween, after the costume pageant - ain’t that sweet?” You smile over your shoulder as you pack up the bowls and thermos to take home. You made a note to tell Ellie, she was settling into the life you three had carved out for yourselves in Jackson.

Joel nodded, approving of the film choice sidled up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder with his hands on your hips. “If it means we might have the house to ourselves I’m all for it.” You could hear his smile, feel it in the way he squeezed you gently.

“Oh you mean so you can go out to your little ‘man cave’ and work on whatever it is you got going on there without being interrupted?” You asked with a raised eyebrow, your head leaning to the side to give him a sceptical look, “Or maybe do some work on the front porch for the umpteenth time.”

Joel’s ears tinted pink, “I do not- it’s not a mancave…it's just a shed I work in. And the porch actually needed work doing to it, thank you very much. Those boards wouldn’ta lasted the winter, the way Ellie thunders down ‘em. But hey, if you wanted to fall on your a-”

You turned in his arms, reaching around his neck to cut him off with a peck. You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from you, “Yeah, yeah, Miller. Thank you for looking out for my ass.”

—

Your chance to tell Ellie about the Halloween plans came sooner than later, as you bumped into her on your way home after she had been visiting Shimmer, sneaking her extra apples as always. “I won’t tell if you don’t,” you said, as she linked your arms as you both walked home. She had been quiet lately, especially when you had brought up Halloween - you were going to get to the bottom of it.

“So, The Addam’s Family. Y’heard?” you asked, smiling down at her with the assumption that she already made her own plans with Dina. You clicked your fingers, hoping the reference wasn’t lost on her.

“Weird.” That answered your question. “I heard about it… Never really got to ‘do’ Halloween before this. Obviously.” Ellie shrugged, leaving you both in a loaded silence. You gave her the space to decide if she wanted to continue.

You let the silence melt into the chilly Autumn air around you, mixing with the sounds of Jackson as you strolled toward home. She stayed uncharacteristically silent until you were back in your house, washing up after lunch while Ellie lingered near the door, ready to continue.

“I guess I like the idea of it… Halloween, spooky shit. Going to this stupid movie. I - I just have some shitty shitty memories surrounded by Halloween decorations. It’s stupid.”

Fragments of the girl's past slotted together in your mind - the mall, the bite, Riley…

You turned around from the sink, wiping your hands before leaning against the counter. Ellie stared hard at the floor, not meeting your eyes as you spoke.

“It’s not stupid. How you feel and your memories aren’t stupid, babygirl. You can still make new memories and still remember the good parts of those shitty ones..” You let your words sit with her before Ellie finally looked up. You give her a sad little smile, “I think she’d want you to be happy.”

You barely had time to brace for impact before Ellie wrapped her arms around you for a tight hug, which you gratefully returned. Pressing a fierce, loving kiss to her head, you held each other until Ellie complained she couldn’t breathe with your squeezing.

After loosening your hold, she tilted her head back to look at you as you spoke again. “Go see the movie. If you’re not having a good time, you can come home anytime. Tommy or Maria would walk you back.” You cup her face, smushing her cheek with your thumb playfully. “Orrr.. you could stay in with us old folks. Joel’ll probably fall asleep on the couch, I’ll be reading my book… Super fun Halloween, right?”

Ellie rolled her eyes before squeezing you so tightly again and then sighed, “Fiiiine I’ll go.”

—

By the morning of Halloween the pumpkins had been harvested and split between the schoolhouse and the community kitchen and food bank, ready to be carved and cooked. There was a buzz of excitement around the town, especially with the children; most of them didn’t know what Halloween was until they got the school up and running. There was a general consensus with the adults to keep it light, not too scary - the real world was scary enough for these kids. Laughter rang from the schoolhouse as goofy and jagged faces were carved into the hollowed pumpkins, the flesh saved for the kitchens of Jackson.

Once they were finished, the kids proud of their handiwork, the pumpkins were loaded into a trailer and brought to the middle of the town, the same area that the Christmas tree was displayed every year. The decorations and lights surrounding the town centre really made it all come together, and the costume pageant in the town hall was a huge hit. You had never seen so many giggling bed-sheet ghosts.

A few hours later, when the sun began to set behind the mountains that overlooked Jackson, everyone came outside to admire the lit pumpkins. Maria and the townspeople on cooking-duty surprised everyone with mugs of steaming roasted pumpkin soup and slices of pumpkin pie for after - another hit with the children, and the adults.

The evening got cooler and everyone began to disperse, most heading into the hall for the movie screening. “Are you sure you guys don’t wanna come?,” Ellie offered, Dina waiting a few steps behind her - the other girl was still warming up to you and Joel.

Joel shook his head, taking one last look at the pumpkin display before throwing his arm over your shoulders, “I think we’ve seen enough horrors. You enjoy yourself kiddo. Remember-”

“-yep, I know, be home by eleven.” She looked at you as you gave her a confident little smile and wink. Ellie waved you off and jogged to catch up with Dina.

The two of you turned and started walking slowly towards home. You tilted your head back looking at the clear evening sky and twinkling town lights. Leaning your head to the side you peered up at Joel, admiring his features. You pressed a kiss to his cheek before slipping your hand into the back pocket of his jeans.

Joel looked down at you, brows lifting. “Ma’am, you do realise we’re in public? Out here groping my old ass.” His tone is light as he tries to keep his smile off his face, shaking his head in false disapproval. “Town Council sure will have something to say about that, s’indecent.”

“It’s a perfectly decent ass, Joel. You got a licence for this thing?” You gave him a pointed squeeze and almost snorted as he choked on his own laughter.

—

You had a late supper and a couple of whiskeys out on the back porch to look forward to when you both got home that evening. It didn’t take long until the very real scenario of Joel and yourself having an empty home for the evening became too enticing and you found yourself making your way upstairs with Joel hot on your heels - his hands palming over your denim-clad behind now, leaving his overshirt and belt and your sweater in your wake. That was almost two hours ago.

Joel was propped up against the pillows, one arm bent behind his head and the thin sheet pooled at his waist, leaving little to the imagination. He watched as you came back from the bathroom wearing nothing but his t-shirt- one of his favourite sights. You made the shirt look ten times better than he ever could and he never let you forget it.

You approached the end of the bed, lifted a bent knee onto it and crawled into the space between his legs. You placed gentle kisses to his chest as you let yourself melt into the safe embrace Joel created.

It wasn’t often you got this sort of alone time - between work and making sure Ellie was keeping out of trouble - but when you got to spend time with Joel alone, intimately, you definitely made the most of it.

After a while of simply holding each other, sharing small touches and kisses, you settled back under the covers with him. Your nose pressed into the side of Joel’s neck, breathing him in for a few blissful moments as his lips pressed to your hair, beginning to speak.

“What’d you dress up as- when you were a kid I mean?” he asked, smoothing a hand up and down your side before settling on your hip.

“For Halloween?” you reply, tilting your head back to peer up at him. The buzz about town over the last few weeks brought back memories for everyone.

Ever the asshole that Ellie never let him forget he was, Joel fixed you with a deadpan look, “No for Saint Patrick’s Day.”

You scrunched up your nose and dug your fingers into the softness around his waist. “Alright, shut up,” you tutted, but couldn’t help the smile when you heard Joel’s rumbling laugh. “Let’s see,” you hummed while moving your hand over his hip to his ribs, “The first one I remember, my Mom dressed me as Alice in Wonderland but I’ve been so many- my favourite one was dressing up as Princess Leia.”

Joel nodded with approval -like every man his age, he had it bad for Carrie Fisher growing up. “Star Wars, huh? Space buns too?” Joel saves that tidbit from your old life, stores it away in the increasingly large space you inhabit in his mind.

“Duh, you’re not Leia without the buns, hon. I loved to watch it with my Mom…” The ghost of a sad smile crosses your face before looking up at him. “Your turn. Lemme guess.. Cowboy?”

“I have you know that I made a mean John Wayne,” he said lifting his nose in the air, “My Momma made all the costumes from old bits of clothing so…it looked a bit mismatched but it worked, got me plenty of candy. Tommy was always covered in camo paint and running around like some army man,” he waved his hand in the air dismissively.

You sigh happily. “Now that I’d love to see. Little Joel Miller running around in cowboy boots, a stetson. Plastic revolver twirling around your finger…”

Joel huffed a short laugh, “You ain’t too far off.”

“No Johnny Cash?” You asked, your eyebrows lifting as you smiled, knowing how much Joel loved to sing old country music songs.

“Him too,” he smirked and pressed his lips gently to your forehead, “and Hank Williams.”

You swapped memories of the best candy you got while out trick or treating and the first horror movies you had seen. After so long together, you were still learning about each other.

A little later, as your fingers stroked through Joel’s hair, his head against your chest, you remembered the time. “Ellie should be back soon, we should make ourselves decent.”

“She’ll just go into her room and stay there until she smells breakfast, as usual.” Joel’s voice was almost dreamy as he felt close to sleep, curled up with you.

Before you could move, you heard the front door open and slam shut, making both of you wince. No matter how many times you and Joel had told Ellie about slamming the doors, she still managed to shake the house.

“She’s gonna bust that door off the hinges soon,” he grumbled and rubbed his forehead, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Another damn thing to fix.”

“What the fuck?!” Her muffled voice drifted up the stairs, “Ew! Guys!” There was a beat of silence before you both broke out into quiet laughter. You shook your head and pushed yourself to kneel, taking Joel’s head in your hands to peck his lips a few times. “I’ll go collect our clothes before she really starts to freak out.”

You look back at Joel as you open the door. “Well, if Halloween didn’t spook her, we sure just did.” Your straight-face crumbles as Joel groans in frustration behind you, burying his face into the pillows. “You been readin’ that stupid pun book again? Jesus lord..”

Despite Ellie’s utter disgust awaiting you downstairs, you think this might just be the best Halloween you have ever had.

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