#Mor x Yrene

[shallyne]

SJM Crackshipmonth Masterlist

The list for all my fics this month 🥰 Some are very cracky, I apologize (not really) for @sjmcrackshipmonth

July 1 - Tangled in Vines - Elain x Ithan

July 2 - Would've been, Could've been, Should've been - Aidas x Theia

July 3 - Just let me do my Job - Feyre x Manon

July 4 - Sharing the Bet - Mor x Viviane's Sister

July 5 - Only You - Manon x Elide

July 6 - Helping You - Feyre x Lorcan

July 7 - This Lovely Grump - Feyre x Azriel

July 8 - Losing you was the worst thing I've ever felt - Feyre x Hunt

July 9 - Confessions and Double Dates - Feyre x Aelin

July 10 - See You Again - Feyre x Aedion

July 11 - Help me Save the Worlds - Elain x Aidas

July 12 - Do me the Honor of settling down - Feyre x Cormac

July 13 - If you love me, leave - Feyre x Eris

July 14 - The Prince's Bride - Feyre x Tarquin

July 15 - Done Our Duty - Feyre x Chaol

July 16 - Care For You - Feyre x Lucien

July 17 - Forget you - Feyre x Yrene

July 18 - Soulbound - Feyre x Mor

July 19 - Between Tents and Mosquitoes - Feyre x Jurian

July 20 - Live on Love - Aelin x Lysandra

July 21 - Sunshine and Promises - Feyre x Helion

July 22 - Leaving You - Mor x Lysandra

July 23 - Lord of Light and Lady of Flame - Helion x LoA

July 24 - Beach Promises - Elain x Vaughan

July 25 - Imperfections in Faerieland - Feyre x Emerie

July 26 - Baking Love - Mor x Elain

July 27 - Let's Leave and Don't Come Back - Feyre x Fenrys

July 28 - Rookie Mistake - Apollion x Mother Archeron

July 29 - My Heart in your Hands - Elain x Gwyn

July 30 - Flightless Birb - Feyre x Bat Boys

July 31 - Sorry, I didn't mean to Kidnap you - Feyre x Cassian

[acourtofthought]

I’m tempted to block everything about Gwyn + Azriel lately. It hasn’t even happened yet - we literally have no confirmation that it will happen and people have ruined it for me. I’ve seen people literally saying “my favorite part of their love story”… what story? The one that hasn’t even been written yet? I fear it’s becoming one of those horribly overhyped ships and if SJM decides to go a different way, Gwynriels are gonna turn into Elriels 2.0. I’m literally praying for Elucien’s book to be next because I already feel like I’ve read 10 books about Gwynriel. And I’m sort of starting to get sick of the warrior x warrior pairs. Authors, not just SJM, need to start shaking things up and think of something different.

I think it's very normal to experience shippers fatigue when a pairing is not your favorite because no matter how much people might be alright with your personal ship, there will be times when the discussion surrounding their favorite will (even unintentionally) make yours seem less important.

While I do think we're all guilty of imagining how good both Gwynriel and Elucien could be together (and will hopefully be), I agree that neither couple is currently in love. Someday if they end up there, maybe we can look back and say, "they were barely friends at that point but based on what the characters told us in their book, they sensed that the other was going to be someone important to them" and that technically will become part of their love story. But at this point I agree that we can't know for sure exactly where it will have begun for them. Because a love story that started when Az was canonically still in love with Mor and fixated on Elain for the wrong reasons is not a very good love story. Just like I wouldn't want Elucien to be falling for one another while she was still in love with Graysen.

While I do think Gwynriel will end up together and well matched, I agree that every female becoming a warrior is getting a little redundant at this point (especially within the same series). Which is why I am also really looking forward to Elain and Lucien's book. I want to see more of the politics side of things from them, more of their intelligence shining through in how they interact with other Courts, and less training, less "the Illyrians are brutes", less IC drama that has been the focus for so many books now. Elucien would be a nice break from all that.

I think my most controversial take on Gwynriel is not so much how a shipper imagines their story to go or headcannons because those are the things that keep us alive while we wait for the next book. My biggest issue is that just because Az and Gwyn were more heavily featured in SF, people have taken up the stance that Elucien is irrelevant so Gwynriel MUST be the focus of the next book.

Gwynriel was in SF, sure. But you know whose unresolved story was in ACOMAF? ACOWAR? ACOFAS? ACOSF? Elucien. It doesn't matter how often Az's name was in SF or that Gwyn had more development than Elain because Gwyn was there for Nesta (and Az is Cassian's best friend). I don't disagree that SJM is hinting at Gwynriel but the main point of Gwyn in SF was to be Nesta's found family which means she had to strongly feature in the book and Nesta needed to know who Gwyn was in order for their relationship to develop. However, when you consider how Elain's story has been building from book 2 and Lucien's from book 1, it's not about most mentions in a book (especially a book about Nesta and Cassian). It feels a little like "can't you wait your turn?" considering Gwynriel was just introduced. Eluciens deserve to be put out of their misery 😂. And yes, Chaol and Yrene got together in a single book but it wasn't at the expense of who Aelin was going to end up with after her romantic arc had been building for multiple books.

It wouldn't make any sense for Elain or Lucien to heavily feature in a Nessian's book when Lucien is not actually part of the IC (though SJM still found a way to make him relevant and set his future journey up) and Nesta and Elain are not meant to become extremely close. The point of Nesta's journey was learning to find a life outside of being Elain's protector and learning to let go of Elain. It was also a continuation of the narrative that Elain doesn't belong in the NC so she had to remain somewhat irrelevant to the IC in general.

Sure, we know Gwyn is going to have unknown powers, needs to discover her heritage, she may have a mating bond and we know she's going to need to decide what she wants to do about being a priestess and leaving the library but SJM literally told us, "Elain doesn't belong in the NC and has unknown powers, Elain will go to Spring and then the continent, Lucien is also going to be in Spring (Spring which the IC keeps mentioning they need up and running) and the continent, Lucien is displaying the markers of a High Lord, still doesn't know about his father, Koschei is about to call Vassa back and she's connected to Lucien and Vassa, and Elain and Lucien still need to decide what they'll do about their actual confirmed mating bond which has been an ongoing issue for multiple books. Everything with Elain and Lucien was laid out with actual locations. Not to mention the final page of the book has Nesta placing the wooden carving made for Elain (a carving which was repeatedly mentioned in SF) on their fathers gravestone as a "marker of the beauty and good he tried to bring into the world" and that (to me) is clearly symbolic of Elain and how she'll soon go on her journey.

That doesn't mean the Gwynriel book can't happen next, it absolutely can. But I do get somewhat frustrated by Gwynriel's who really don't think there is just as much suggesting Elucien could also be next. They're forgetting how long Elain and Lucien's journey's has been building and that it actually made sense for Elain not to heavily feature in the books if SJM is trying to sell the narrative that no one really knows her and her not belonging in the NC.

[shadowsxgwynriel]

I find it interesting that TOG gives us a bit of an insight into how SJM could end ACOTAR. At least in terms of characters.

Pretty much all of the TOG characters got a happy ending.

Aelin x Rowan ✅

Elide x Lorcan ✅

Yrene x Chaol ✅

Nesryn x Sartaq ✅

Lysandra x Aedion ✅

But I do think it’s important to note that Manon and Dorian were the only couple who were left open ended, and I think that was intentional. Dorian is human and Manon is around 117 years old. She’s pretty much immortal.

Aelin and Rowan are both Fae and will live together for hundreds of years. Yrene, Chaol, Nesryn, and Sartaq are all human. Lorcan, my love, gave up his immortality to bind his life to Elide’s (and it’s been awhile since I read the TOG series so I can’t remember if Aedion does the same with Lysandra).

So let’s just take a moment to assume that SJM is going to go the TOG route with ACOTAR (and it seems like maybe she will since she loves the characters so much, and the next two books will be standalone with different couples). Anyway, we would have an ending that could look something like this:

Feyre x Rhys

Amren x Varian

Nesta x Cassian

Elain x Lucien

Gwyn x Azriel

Emerie x Mor

Vassa x Jurian

Obviously, Feyre, Rhys, Nesta, Cassian, Elain, and Lucien are all mates (and we know that SJM loves her fated mates). Gwyn and Azriel could be potential mates, because I can’t see SJM not giving Azriel his own mate. Emerie seems to have a crush on Mor and I can see them being a couple. Vassa and Jurian are both mortals and have the typical SJM banter. Amren and Varian . . . well I’m not too sure how that will play out, but they’re both Fae.

Now, I have seen some people say that Vassa will be changed into a Fae to be with Lucien, but I have issues with that.

**** MINI RANT INCOMING ****

Why should she have to change to be with someone? And even if she did change, Lucien will always feel a connection to Elain, even if she rejects the bond. I can’t be invested in them as a couple when I know that a part of Lucien will always want and crave Elain, and Vassa deserves better than to be his second choice. Now THAT is what it means to be someone’s second choice. I don’t see how anyone can compare Lucien’s mate rejecting him to Azriel’s crush rejecting him. They don’t compare. Azriel isn’t a bound to a crush, he can get over that and fall for someone else and that doesn’t mean she will be his second choice. Let’s say that someone has a crush, they get rejected, then they get over it, move on, fall for someone else . . . is that second best or just life? Because by other peoples logic, wouldn’t Elain be second best to Mor since Azriel liked her for so long? 🤔

Also, yes. Azriel has a crush on Elain. Just like with Mor. He’s not in love.

Crush; a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.

**** RANT OVER ****

I’m not saying that this is how the characters will end up or that these will be canon couples. But it is a possibility.

Anyway, I wrote this while being half asleep so sorry if some parts sound like rambling 🥱😴

[fireheartfaery]

Day 7: “You’re a bad liar did you know?”

masterlist; my links

college AU

TW: panic attacks, mentions of anxiety

Yrene is late. Again. In her twenty three years of life she has strived to be as punctual as her aunt, early by exactly three minutes. But in the last week, with finals looming over her like the death towers they used to sneak into in their teens, she has pulled all-nighters that haven't quite managed to turn into all-dayers. In short she's exhausted, and so is her alarm. Which is why, at 8:02 in the morning she stands in the line at their university café, waiting rather impatiently for her turn at the counter. Her foot taps on the ground, unconsciously, fingers drumming on folded arms. Calculations and anatomy are spinning in her brain as she visualizes the huge whiteboard covered in notes above her bed. Strategically placed their in case gaining information by osmosis may suddenly become a thing and she can actually get smarter in her sleep.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and with an irritated frown she whips it out.

How are you feeling? Chaol's name flashes across the screen.

She smiles as she slides the screen open and types out a reply to her best friend. Like if i don’t get a liter of coffee i’m going to keel over and die.

He sends wide eyed emojis, please don't drink a liter of coffee. You will die.

hey, She laughs at his worry. Always worrying. who's supposed to be the doctor here? Me or you?

Before she can read his reply a throat is clearing behind her, and a hand is waving in her peripheral vision.

She looks up and realizes there's no-one in front of her. She's holding up the line. Her cheeks burn like coal as she stumbles to the counter. "I'll uh, I'll have my usual." Why is her heart beating so fast? "Large black with a dash of hazelnut."

"Sure, is that all?"

She cannot even breathe, the scratchy fabric of her polo neck is tightening around her neck. "Yes thanks!" She chokes out, laying far too many notes on the counter and dashing out.

Air, the colour of glaciers and mirror fragments, snaps at her skin. She let's it. Her breathing, erratic and struggling fogs, up the pretty world. She sinks to the floor, back grazing the rough brick of the coffee shop. The world is moving in and out of focus. Toffee being stretched and molded around her throat.

A hand lands on her knee.

"Hey," The voice is gentle. It sounds like a muffled echo in her ears. "My name is Mor. I think you're having a panic attack. Is there something I can do to help?"

Yrene looks up, she sees blonde waves and pretty brown. Her throat tightens. She's definitely not breathing. Where has the world gone?

"Okay i’m going to ask you to do something for me." That voice is still so soft. Sweet like her aunt's candied apples.

"Can you try to take a deep breath for me." If she was listening she would have scoffed. "And while you do that I want you to point out five things you can see." There's a beat. "Can you do that?"

She wants to ask how she's supposed to talk when her lungs have been squished like grapes. They will not make flavourful wine.

"Just point with your finger." Mor says.

Yrene sucks in a breath. It is as shaky as a smoker's hands.

She points her index finger at the woman in front of her.

"One." The blonde says.

She points to the ground; can feel the cool under her nails.

"Two."

Her finger catches on the book that had spilled from her bag when she collapsed against the wall.

"Three."

She looks at the sky. It is grey. It is there. She points.

"Four." The quiet smile on her golden lips is back. "Just one more."

Yrene wants to point to her ribcage. To show it isn't expanding. She is going to die. She points to the necklace hanging around her throat instead, the owl pendant warm from her skin.

"Five." Mor holds her hands. She cannot feel the heat radiating of her skin. She cannot feel anything. "Can you tell me four things you can touch?“

She is faster this time. Confused, but clearing. The wool of her jumper. The sunshine locks of the girl in front of her. The fluffy keychain Elide had got her at the start of the year. The plant stubbornly growing out of the sidewalk.

"Three things you can hear?"

Her voice is croaky, strangled in a way she hasn't heard before. She uses it anyway. Because she can.

"The bell above the coffee shop." It tinkles in acknowledgment. Students walk out laughing. "The cars on the road." There's an expensive car in the midst of traffic. She can hear it's soft purr. "My breathing." It is loud and full of life in her ears. She is grateful.

"Two things you can smell?"

She takes a breath, let's the university fill up her body. "The melting snow. It smells like rain puddles, muddy and dirty and fun to play in."

"One more?"

“You." Her senses are all over the place. Her common sense has disappeared entirely. "You smell like cinnamon, and the faintest hint of soap."

The laugh is enough to settle the last of Yrene's frazzled nerves. It is bright and full and carries happiness like a bouquet. She settles, heart rate slowing, lungs expanding, contracting, skin feeling the first nips of cold once more.

"Does that mean you like the way I smell?" The blonde grins, squeezing their still joined hands.

She thinks about it for a second. "Yes." Her earth brown eyes collide with Mor's caramel gaze. "I think I do."

"Can you give me one thing you can taste?"

Yrene knows she's lost it when the first thing that's pops into her mind is the woman's lips. She shuts her eyes to the thought, feeling her bones sludge inside her. Everything aches. She's held herself up for so long.

"How about this?"

The bitter smell of coffee wafting between faint hazelnut greets her. She opens her eyes to see her order dangling between slender fingers. Taking the cup, she tips its back, letting the hot liquid spill down her throat. It warms her from the inside. It burns away the dregs of the panic, hiding in the folds of her. Waiting.

When the cup is drained she looks to Mor, who is sitting their patiently, observing the world.

"How did you know to do that?"

"I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety attacks. It works for me." She shrugs as if it is not a constant and exhausting force. "Also," A bright smile takes over her face, "I'm a psychology major."

"Can I book you as my therapist when you graduate?"

There's that laughter again. The one that lights up all her insides. "I have a while to go before I get to qualified therapist status."

"Really?" Yrene frowns, "How long does it take?"

"I have to get my masters before I can practice."

"Wow," Her mind is a little blown. The med students are so cut off from the rest of the faculties- maybe by choice, maybe by design- that learning about other degrees always blows her away. Just the other day Feyre was telling her about the art students and the portfolios they have to submit. She can't imagine sitting down to pick a topic and then pouring your heart and soul into it. Med school made sense. There was no grey slate, at least for the most part. This is where the ulna is. This is how to tie off your suture. This formula tells you how to blow up the lab. The last one had been an honest miskate... the first time.

"Do you think you can stand?" Mor gets up, as graceful as a flamingo, and then offers a hand.

Yrene takes it without hesitation. She marvels at the contrast between her earth brown skin and Mor's burnt gold. The richest colours in the world. The ones that glow under the sun.

"Can I walk you to your dorm?"

"I have to get to class. If I rush I can be there for the second half of the double."

"Uh," She winces, looking at the hello kitty watch on her wrist. "It's been an hour?"

Her eyes widen to the size of planets. "It's been what?" Her voice is high pitched. "Oh gods oh gods oh gods. What if I missed the exam briefing? What if prof said something vital? What if—"

"Hey!" Mor clamps down on her shoulder, turns her so they're facing each other. Yrene only slightly shorter. "You were in no state to go to class. You still aren't. You should go to your dorm and rest. Maybe eat some carbs. Is there anyone who can take notes for you? And relay information?"

She frowns, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "Well I guess Rowan is in that class, and Nesta."

"They will help you?"

She nods. She breathes.

"Wonderful." Mor smiles. It's is pretty enough that Yrene sees stars. "Then we'll walk to your dorm and I'll make sure you're settled with some chamomile tea and some cheese sandwiches and then I'll go to my own classes."

They start walking, sludgy snow squelching under their boots.

"Won't you be late for class?"

The blonde just grins. She decides not to ask.

"You know I don't know your name?"

"Guess," It's her turn to be all mysterious and cheeky.

Mor looks at her closely, eyes traveling unashamedly from the top of her screwed curls to the tops of her black wellingtons.

"Irene."

She stumbles over herself. Looks at the woman alongside her. There isn’t enough oxygen in the world for her gasp of shock. "That's not it."

The blonde scrunches her nose in amusement. "“You’re a bad liar did you know?”

She sticks out her tongue. "How did you..."

"My friends call me Truth-Speaker."

"That's creepy." She raises a brow. It just makes Mor grin wider. "It's Yrene with a Y not an I."

"Pretty," She mumbles. "My full name is Morrigan."

"Pretty." She echoes. "Hey, you want to come drink chamomile tea and eat carbs with me?“

The blonde clasps their hands together beaming at the leaking blue sky.

"I'd love nothing more, Yrene."

She sees, touches, hears, smells, and tastes the happiness that clings to them as they step into the dorm.

------------------------------------------------------------

When i originally thought up the idea for this Mor was supposed to be the new barista and Yrene the regular and they would meet-embarrassing when Mor gets the order wrong. Do not ask me how it turned into this?

I hope i have been sensitive about this topic and portrayed Yrene and her panic attack properly.

Tags:

 @nishlicious-01​

[theawesomegeek19]

I wish!!!

Just imagine how cool it would be if they made a game of ACOTAR where it’s open world and u can make ur own character and choose what court your in!! Just realizing how amazing it would be to choose nightcourt and you get to be apart of the inner circle!! Same for TOG!!

[acourtofglaas]

Friendly Reminder

Elain And Aelin have the same letters in their name

[sexcusemexrhysand]

Some of my latest drawings. In order: Nesta, Lysandra, Alosa, Mor, Alosa & Riden and Rowaelin (that one is a bit older). Hope you like it!

if you repost it on instagram, please tag @sexcusemexrhysand

[dewitted]

I needed to shout this into the void and this is best I could come up with but: on the Azriel, Elain, Lucien, Gwyn clusterfuck

Spoilers for the Feysand chapter//

Let me preface this by saying my ultimate ship is Azriel X peace & happiness. I just want him with someone who will hold his hands and look at him like he lights up the room. I went hard for Moriel in ACOMAF ("Azriel would likely love Mor until he was a whisper of darkness between the stars." -- I mean are you kidding??) But I was also not wholly surprised when SJM obliterated that ship in ACOWAR cause let's be honest, she loves to set 'em up just to knock 'em down. (Just look at Chaol and his many false starts; Celaena, Nesryn, and finally Yrene.) But I LIVED for Elriel once that was introduced, my heart was on fire for Death and the Fawn. Lucien is precious and deserves all the happiness in the world but the pining kernels we had for Elriel were just *chef's kiss*. I wanted Lucien to be happy but I didn't want him with someone who felt like they were "settling" for him, he deserves better than being someone's second choice. He has so many wounds around belonging and rejection that he deserves a love where he is treasured wholeheartedly, which was simply not apart of his dynamic with Elain in ACOWAR/ACOFAS.

Now regarding the above quote, we have had on numerous occasions the association of roses when talking about Elriel/ Azriel in context with Elain. I read this and felt SJM just about scream "Elucien endgame." To me she's clearly laying the foundation that the next book will absolutely be Elriel-centered in all its forbidden romance glory, but things will get very messy and not end well. We've seen in ACOSF the budding of Elain's depth beyond sunshine and smiles and I feel like Rhys' comment here about getting your hands dirty alludes to that. The characterization of a "stubborn rosebush" feels like a nod to Azriel's insistence in seeing Elain as too pure for him, sullied and thorny as he is, to touch or get close to. That deep down he feels his involvement with her would somehow spoil and ruin her, a sentiment we see echoed in Azriel's POV chapter. I can very easily picture him retreating from a deeper emotional intimacy with her for fear of his perceived unworthiness. Now obviously there's also hella tension between them and a recklessness I'm sure we'll be getting more of so I don't think his beliefs on this will prevent anything from developing here, but eventually as their relationship attempts to grow that imbalance will become a wedge. They cannot be equals as Feysand and Nessian are if he places her on a pedestal. Imagine Elain's heartbreak at this revelation, that someone she thought actually *saw* her (something we know is top on her priority list) instead sees her as some idealized version of herself and not the person she's been working so hard to grow into. That realization could very well pierce her heart like a thorn.

I think a lot of Elain's character arc will be centered on how sheltered she has been. If she is to truly become her own person she has to figure out for herself who that is, not be told what's best for her. Once you get dirty and wounded you have the experience to appreciate the things that might spare you from that in the future. Ultimately, I think her time with Azriel will deepened her appreciation for who Lucien is and what he has to offer. Not to mention all the breadcrumbs we've been given that hint towards Elucien: Elain thrives in sunlight and Lucien is the heir to the Day Court; the three sister peaks, two in the Night Court and one further south; Elain's need to be seen and Lucien's uniquely perceptive eye.

None of this even broaches on the beautiful brewing potential of Gwynriel. This post is mainly an affirmation of SJM's hints to an Elucien endgame but I can only feel confident in that with the understanding that Azriel will truly find his match in Gwyn. I've seen plenty of posts floating around that detail all the Gwynriel nuggets we've gotten so far, but at this point the only thing I need from the rest of the series is to know this quiet and scarred bat boy is loved and very much *not alone*.

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

book things

characters I would kill for: aelin, manon, nesta, feyre, elide, annabeth, percy, rhys, hellion, gwyn, kaz, inej, nina, jesper, wylan, genya, zoya, jude, lila bard, bryce, kieran

characters I stan: lysandra, yrene, fenrys, cassian, mor, amren, emerie, darkling, tamar, david, nikolai, suriel, hunt, vonetta

characters I would run over with a truck: elain, arobynn, maeve, ianethe, tamlin, jason, alina, mal, aedion

characters I want to rail me: aelin, manon, nesta, asterin, azriel, rhys, jude, hunt

ships I would die for: feysand, gwynriel, kanej, percabeth

ships I like: wesper, rowaelin, elorcan, helnik, darklina, nessian, quinlar, kelilah, firstprince

ships I would burn to the ground if I could: malina, elriel, lysadeion

favorite friendships: keiran x poppy, cassian x feyre, every six of crows friendship, genya x zoya,

my favorite crackship: elain x mor. but really it’s dorian x choal but I don’t think that’s a crackship

what character I am most alike: if like nina, jesper and kaz had a child but don’t think about that cause that’s gross. I to am bisexual, biracial, girl who loves to eat, but also high key hates everyone

which character I would most want to be: kaz, he has a shit ton of trauma but he’s a literal genius and is snazzy as fuck and I already simp for inej

what world I want to live in: ketterdam

[starfallkaz]

Sjmaas Ships as the “I want a baby” Meme

Feysand

Sartaq x Nesryn

Elorcan

Also Elorcan

Cassian x Nesta

Mor + her loverrrr

Azriel x Elain

Chaol x Yrene

Fenrys + his loverrrr (I cant wait to find out who he ends up with in TWOTOG) (ALSO ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT THIS IS TO WILL H )

Rowaelin (yassssss)

MY LOVES AHHH

[nomattertheoceans]

Salty Ask List: 26 for acotar but also for tog pls thank

This one is hard lmao

26. Most shippable character?

For acotar, I'm thinking Mor? Just because I want her to be really happy so I want to ship her with everybody. Crack ship Feyre x Mor, and I would die for Elain x Mor but I font think it's gonna happen.

For tog, I think Aelin because I ship aelin with basically everyone 😂😂 Rowaelin? Love it. Aelin x Manon? Love it. Aelin x Yrene? Love it. Aelin x Lysandra? Love it. (Okay as I write this I realize I ship her with all the women, and Rowan 😂)

[shallyne]

SJM Crackshipmonth: Amnesia

Forget You

It's @sjmcrackshipmonth day seventeen! Ship: Feyre x Yrene. This feels Mor like crackfriendship but I kept the ending open for interpretation

Words: 948

TW: Amnesia, mention of blood

Feyre was found in the the midst of the southern continent. How she got there, she didn't have a clue. The only thing she holds on to are her dreams and the healer.

Feyre was so damn lonely. She felt so lonely for an incredibly long time now and she still knew nothing. The only light in her life was the incredible healer that sat on the cushioned chair across from her, asking Feyre questions and scribbling down something in her notebook as Feyre answered. It's been so long and Feyre didn't remember anything, other than the blurry images she dreamt about sometimes. For some time she kept these images to herself, thinking it was just dreams. She didn't want to get her hopes up. She had a lot of hope, at the beginning, that she could remember but she gave it up when she couldn't make any progress at all. It can take a while, the voice in her head echoed. Yrene's voice. Feyre had asked her once how long it would take to get her memories back and Yrene had told her that every case was different. Some patients remembered fairly quickly during their recovery, she had told her. For some patients it took years, she continued, and when her voice got softer, Feyre knew she didn't want to hear it, but Yrene told her nonetheless, some patients weren't able to get their memories back. That is what Feyre had admired about the woman, that she was honest but not in a brutal way. She was empathetic but stubborn, giving up wasn't an option. So now Feyre sat with her, nursing her tea, as she tried to explain the blurry dreams.

"I saw a–" Feyre took a deep breath and shook her head. "It doesn't make sense, it was probably just a dream."

"I am here to help you, Feyre. We need to work together to make it make sense. It's just between us," she promised, as always.

Feyre nodded, playing with the sleeves of her shirt as she slumped farther into the chair. "I think I saw a cauldron. I– I can't make out any faces but there is so much blood and someone is screaming. There is a body but it's…it's blurred. I don't know. Maybe I am screaming but it feels so far away."

Yrene nodded, writing something down before she looked back at Feyre, smiling softly as she asked, "Do you feel something when you think about that dream?" Feyre nodded slowly, averting eye contact. She wished she wouldn't feel anything about that dream. "What do you feel?" Yrene spoke so softly, as if Feyre could bolt any second.

She took another shuddering breath, "I feel like–" she put a hand above her heart. "I feel like someone ripped out my heart but not– not literally but it…it feels like a part of me died." silent tears were running down her face. "It still feels like a part of me is gone."

Yrene reached to her left, to a small box. She extended it to Feyre who took it with a mumbled thank you and blew her nose, then Yrene said, "You told me about another dream. The night sky?" Feyre nodded in confirmation. "How do you feel about that one?"

"The whole opposite." Feyre sobbed. "I am standing on a balcony and I look at the sky above but…it's not just a night sky. It's something so much more special– It looks like there is a star shower and someone is standing beside me but again, the person is blurry. I– I feel, felt, so alive. Like someone took all my sorrow and worry away for just one moment. "

Yrene nodded, again writing something down. "Does it feel like a dream to you, Feyre?"

Feyre shook her head. "No." she said, the truth. She wouldn't go as far to call it a memory but…no, it did not feel like a dream. As Yrene noted something, Feyre's eyes wandered to the clock behind Yrene. She would be gone again very soon and everything screamed inside Feyre at the thought of being alone again. Alone with only her thoughts again.

"Yrene." Feyre blurted, the healer's eyes snapping up, waiting for Feyre to continue.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Can you–" Feyre swallowed. "Could you– Would you stay with me for a little longer?" she asked. "Please?"

Yrene looked at her in thought, clicking her pen against her notebook and then looked at the clock, tilting her head. "Yes," she smiled. "Of course."

Feyre's shoulders slumped in relief. She abruptly stood up and hurried to the couch, patting to spot beside her. "I was thinking," Feyre said as Yrene walked over to her. She smiled at something, Feyre didn't know but she continued when Yrene sat. "I know I don't remember anything and I don't make much progress but all my wounds healed by now and I– I should be ready to do something. I– maybe you need help? I don't know l, maybe cutting bandages or maybe you need assistance with making tonics. I don't know anything about tonics but I can learn and I, well I think I should be able to go out. I need to. Maybe it helps me. I want to help you. Please. "

Yrene's eyes shimmered. If Feyre didn't know better she would say she spotted pride in her gaze but why would she be proud? It didn't make sense, Feyre must have imagined it.

"I think this is an amazing idea, Feyre." Yrene said. "Let me think about it for tonight and I'll pick you up tomorrow, at twelve." Feyre nodded enthusiastically.

They now fell into silence as they sat beside each other but it wasn't the heavy silence that Feyre always dreaded. It was comfortable.

"Yrene?" Feyre broke the silence.

"Yes?"

"Are you my friend?"

Yrene turned to Feyre, "Of course."

Taglist: @timesconvert

[bookgirlhan]

rating sarah j mass books

*spoilers*

13. crown of midnight

don’t get me wrong it’s a mediocre book with a good plot line but out of the whole tog series it’s the least memorable to me, the chaol x celeana looking back feels forced but the plot twist at the end was the start of this amazing journey portrayed in the later books. overall not bad but not great

12. a court of wings and ruin

definitely was a contender for last place as i couldn’t even tell you what happened in this book however it had some essence to it that com doesn’t and my favourite characters are in this book, i just wasn’t grabbed by it overall.

11. empire of storms

in NO WAY was this a bad book i just found it to be a bit slow and lacked the craziness from the previous books but it was still a good read, also the meet up of the characters from tab was one of the best moments in the entire series.

10. kingdom of ash

again a very good read but painfully slow, after about 30 chapters of aelin still being locked up and the other characters flapping about until she was released did start to grate on me, however i loved this book and the ending was more than satisfactory with the reuniting of the original 3 (aelin, dorian and chaol) and just the general arc of their characters was beautiful to finally see tied up at the end.

9. a court of thorns and roses

yes, this was a very good read and we know that tamlin has to be the worst love interest to ever exist but all in all a good start to an amazing series thag i hope to see great things from the unnamed acotar 4.

8. a court of frost and starlight

i know this is a novella and i put it off for a long time because to me it seemed irrelevant however i was pleasantly surprised to read it and come away excited for the next book. getting the other character povs such as cassias and mor was such a fresh outlook and helped me as a reader understand their personalities a bit more which i found super intriguing, especially with the cassian and nesta relationship formation. personally i would recommend reading this for the next book if you haven’t already.

7. throne of glass

once again one of my favourite books of all time and the one that started this all off for me, the world building and plot line that starts to form in this book is phenomenal however it was just that, kind of a book to set the scene for the forthcoming plot but it will never be a disappointment.

6. the assassins blade

i read this after kingdom of ash which was a huge mistake as i could have used this before empire of storms as the character plot lines are all explained, however it was really interesting to go back and see aelin like this again as celeana and see her so young again plus sam holds my heart more than the other 3 ever could, no offence rowan.

5. tower of dawn

when i heard this was coming out and it was from chaol and nesryn pov i was not looking forward to it, but i devoured it in a week. this book was such a refresh to the tog series, new characters, new lands and new love interests plus we meet yrene who is up there in my top 5 fave characters. a surprise contender to say the least

4. heir of fire

i enjoyed this one a lot because of the speed of the plot and the different povs in the book, this was such a difference to the first two and the clear shift of celeana to aelin was stark in the book which was really interesting to me. plus we met rowan and manon who are vital to the story

3. crescent city: house of earth and blood

all i can say is wow when it comes to this book, i loved the modern take on it since in my mind the other 2 series are kind of medieval times but bryce and the other characters are amazing. i loved the murder mystery plot and the twists of the story were so well weaved, also i have my eye on the relationship of bryce, hunt and aidas.

2. queen of shadows

my FAVOURITE tog book ever, the seamless blend of the personalities of celeana and aelin are so well put together and the plot line of the whole book is outstanding, meeting old characters, past loves, new alliances and reunions just made this book a rollercoaster and the plot really started to thicken.

1. a court of mist and fury

the build up to rhys and feyre’s relationship on this book is so so beautiful, one of the prettiest books i’ve ever read. the tension and romance in this book are something that was so well balanced also the introducing of the court of dreams has to be my fave team throughout the whole of the sjm universe. nothing has topped this book since i’ve read it and made me fall in love with rhys and feyre

so there you go that’s my outlook on her books, this probably won’t be found by anyone but if it does please let me know the order you��d put them in :)

xoxo

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

WOULD YOU STOP MAKING ME SHIP IMPOSSIBLE SHIPS?! AZRIEL + NUALA, MOR + CERRIDWEN, AND NOW FUCKING MANON + YRENE?! I HAVE A THIRST FOR SMUTFIC THAT CANNOT BE QUENCHED! (also I love you)

Wait- seriously? No one’s writing Manon x Yrene?

And what do you mean Azuala and Morridwen are impossible ships?! I refuse to believe that until they are pried from my cold, dead hands.

[lost-in-fictionn]

Idk if you already donde this, but if you haven't... Could you choose a ship from sjm's books for every song in the reputation album? Or any ship from anybook for that matter

Oh I haven't done and very well can do it!

Lwymmd - FEYLIN!!!

Ready for it - Nessian from cassian's pov? Kind of...

Call it what you want - Nestaq. Pure pure pure pure love 💕💕💕💕

Gorgeous - Lysaedion. Ashryver eyes and all aside, we all know how everyone describes Aedion as perfect.

End game - Rowaelin. BIG REPUTATION BIG REPUTATION OOOH YOU AND ME WE GOT BIG REPUTATIONS AAAH AND YOU HEARD ABOUT ME OOH I GOT SOME BIG ENEMIES HEY BIG REPUTATION BIG REPUTATION YOU AND ME WOULD BE A BIG CONVERSATION AAH AND I HEARD ABOUT YOU OOH YOU LIKE THE BAD ONES TOO. Just Rowaelin.

Delicate - Manorian. They started to know each other in a time when both of their reputations were all over the floor and they liked each other for each other. And the thing between them is still so delicate... Also, the lyric 'handsome you're a mansion with a view' just defines my baby Dorian 💕

Don't blame me - Elorcan. I can't imagine lorcan singing 'I once was poison ivy but now I'm your daisy' but it fits right in 😂😂

I did something bad - Mor x Eris. I've never thought of them as a ship but the lyrics are perfect for Mor 👌👌

Dress - Elriel. Az was still in love with Mor when he first met Elain. But then they got to spend some time together and they became friends. And I think later they realized they wanted something more (I can't remember if this is canon or not 😅). And again, I think this song could be theirs.

Dancing with our hands tied - FEYSAND. 'I'm a mess but I'm the mess that you wanted'? 'first sight yeah we loved without reason'? Every lyric to this song is written for feysand tbh.

King of my heart - Amren x Varian? I think they fit in the song. 'Salute to me, I'm your American queen' is such an Amren thing to say 👑😂 and the other lyrics fit them too

So it goes - Kanej. I've never thought about this before but Inej calling Kaz 'my magician' is......oh my God 😍😍😍 sleight of hand is slight of hand, no matter how little it is and that's why we can call Kaz a magician, don't @ me. Also, what Kaz does with his brain is a work of magicians, let's be honest. But aside from that, the lyrics 'you know I'm not a bad girl but I do bad things with you' and 'I'll make all your gray days clear' are Inej-written.

New year's day - Malec cause their love is so pure, so beautiful. Alec is definitely the kind of guy who would stay at magnus's house to help cleaning after a glittery party. 'Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere' is what they think of each other even at the beginning of their relationship and that is just awesome.

Getaway car - dorian/celaena/chaol? Not exactly the Tay way but a bit different? Celaena was first interested in Dorian and then she realized she actually wasn't. Then she felt something for Chaol but the relationship just went to shit. (I'm sorry but that's what happened.) So, she put the money in the bag and stole the keys, that was the last time they ever saw Celaena 💁💁

Tiwwchnt - kind of jurdan? I don't know, they keep stabbing each other on the back while shaking each other's hand dhjkshkgf

P.S. I couldn't fit Chaorene anywhere in rep... Sorry my chaol and yrene babies