#Moon thinking sun would be stronger than him and never kill

[triniicat]

yandere!john wick headcannons

cw: obsessive behavior, stalking, manipulation, sexual themes, implied violence

sorry if this is nonsensical i had the idea and just had to get it written down <3

(inspired by my c.ai bot — you can find it here!)

- The first time you see him is at the library, eyes meeting through the endless aisles of books. His gorgeous brown gaze disarms you, nearly taking your breath away.

- After that day, you start noticing him everywhere

- At the grocery store, the coffee shop, the gas station…

- It happens just infrequently enough to seem like coincidence by his design

- Eventually the two of you start talking. He invites you out for dinner at a quaint, peaceful little place you’ve never heard of. It seems fitting for his reserved, stoic nature.

- As he pulls out your chair you catch a whiff of his cologne, and you swear you recognize that scent.

- It smells like the scent that lingers around your room each morning, the scent that’s always stronger when you wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom

- Like the smell that shows up in your car every once in a while, that sticks to your laundry

- You brush it off, assuming it’s nothing more than a weird connection your brain is making, something nonsensical and completely coincidental.

- A few months and quite a few dates later, the two of you are getting more serious.

- John is so attentive; so loving and sweet, and yet so strong and intimidating all at once. Sometimes it’s hard to believe his hands, the ones that touch your body with such delicateness it’s like he thinks you might break, have killed so many people before.

- Yes, he told you of his past as an assassin. He couldn’t hide it forever, he knew that. It came out one night when he was walking down the street with you, a man you’ve never seen in your life lunging right for him.

- He had taken the man down with such skill and familiarity, you knew something was wrong. No normal man could do that…

- So, he did what he had to do to keep you by his side, to keep you feeling safe. He told you.

- He explained everything, from his job, to his late wife, to his second time retiring. Honesty is the best policy, and all that.

- But never too honest

- It paid off, exactly as he planned. In your eyes, John was now an open book. An open book with many chapters you haven’t read, of course, but an open book nonetheless.

- He clouds your senses, makes you feel like the only woman in the world. And to him, you are.

- You’re everything to him. The moon and stars above, the sun that shines and warms the Earth.

- He would do anything to keep you safe, even if that meant orchestrating little events that would keep you running back into the safety of his arms.

- You don’t even realize when he happens to know things about you that you’ve never told him, assuming you must’ve just forgotten. He’s so good at what he does, at keeping you comfortable, never raising suspicion.

- He makes you feel safe, and why wouldn’t you?

- He protects you, keeps you nestled safely in his arms every night, whispering sweet words in your ear as his hips grind against yours, arms wrapped tightly around you as he pulls you closer to him, wanting to feel every bit of your skin against his.

- John gives you the illusion of freedom. He lets you go out, see your friends, whatever you might like.

- But he’s too nervous to let you go unsupervised, he needs to know you’re safe, at all times.

- You never notice the trackers on your phone, or strategically placed in your car. You don’t question it when he happens to show up at the bar you never told him the address of, just in time to save you from a handsy creep.

- You’re his.

- His Persephone, lured in by Hades’ charm, trapped in his world after he so delicately fed you the seed.

- And the best part? You don’t even know it.

[lheslie]

Mark Variants Vs Raven Reader

- Main Mark

When he first met you, he thought that you were demure and alluring, you were like the moon in his eyes.

He was drawn to you, curious; he wanted to know more about you and your powers; he had never seen something so beautiful and mystic.

He tried talking to you, but you kept pulling away; the more he stepped closer, the more you stepped away.

He would watch you meditate and read about your books, and you noticed it.

You maintained your distance and so did he, but the distance that you maintained isn't going to let him go away.

Mark would sometimes leave water near you after meditating.

He would also leave you some food after. The two of you never spoke, but within the actions you've communicated, and bonded, naturally, you wondered why he was so invested in you and started to think that he wanted a favor from you.

Mark was looking at you floating, meditating.

But you suddenly vanished in front of him the moment he looked away.

"What is it that you want?" You appeared next to him, questioning his brazen actions for the past few months.

"Uh, nothing; I just wanted to get to know you. Hehe.." he tried to laugh it out, but you backed away.

"It's best not to, go away." You told him as you vanished.

With the warning you foretold, he had not listened to it.

He had still pursued his plans of befriending you as you warmed up to his company, leaving him be.

You had trained with him in pledge to become stronger and knowledgeable.

He's still enamored with your abilities; he wants to know more about them.

Gradually, you had become soft with him, letting him into your inner circle, but with caution, you told him that if he even thought of betraying you, he'd stand no chance against you.

- Omni Mark

He was quiet and observant; the two of you didn't converse; what was there to talk about?

The two of you only exchanged blows with each other.

"You're running out of mana." He spoke as you trying to breathe from the exhaustion.

You paid no attention to his words and started to go out on him again, trying to make sure he got turned in.

"You're no better than your other versions." You replied, casting a powerful spell to knock him out.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" A dark dome enveloped him within.

- Target Mark

"ALL SHALL KNEEL BEFORE ME." He yelled as he hovered over the skies that he had set a blazed.

You looked at him like he was one childish manchild; you sighed as you used a spell to knock him out.

"He didn't even notice me standing behind him standing for a long time." You muttered.

- Viltrum Mark

As alluring as the Sun he was, you were demure like the Moon.

You both stood on the opposite sides, he stood in the sun as you stood in the shadows.

"You have potential, don't waste it." He spoke with a hint of threat.

You didn't give him a response, as you both started clashing your strengths.

He was great in strength and agility; he was giving you tremendous blows, breaking your force field.

You kept aiming your magic at him, trying to impale him by conjuring weapons.

- Shiesty Mark

"What a fucking party, didn't know Cecil summoned a demon to do his bidding for him." He laughed.

"Tell me what did he give? His old soul? It's pathetic how much that motherfucker is so desperate that he even resorts to summoning pathetic beings like you; I've killed thousands before; you think you'd make a difference?" He mocked

You sighed in front of him, "You're just like your other Variants before they met their fate." You spoke as you began to chain him.

- Sinister Mark

"You have the powers of a literal absolute being, you could do more, yet you chose to use it for scrawny humans." He snorted slowly approaching you as you were trying to recover when he threw you to the wall.

"I do need orders from anyone, from my father, not from you." You angrily stated, blasting him off to the streets.

He stood back again on his foot, lunging a full-force attack on you.

You avoided his attack and conjured a hammer to hit him back again to the ground as he avoided it.

"You're weak." He snorted, which had made you mad.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" You yelled summoning multiple attacks on him, as he got knocked off from the attack.

- Prisoner Mark

You were losing against him, he was too fast and too strong for you to be able to keep up with his attacks.

You were trying to stand up again, as your body was giving out from the mana depletion.

"Pathetic, you couldn't even last a day." Prisoner Mark was insulted.

Those words sparked rage deep within you, as you lost control.

The words of your father spoke inside your brain to murder him.

Darkness started to take over you, and you started to devour Prisoner Mark.

Luckily your Mark was able to stop you in time before you devoured him.

He was left shaking beneath you, as he remembers the horrors of his imprisonment.

You felt apologetic as to what you've caused as Cecil arrived to take him away.

- Mohawk Mark

"Woah, who's this hottie?" He asked as you started to attack him.

"You have amazing powers there, but you have to be faster than that if you want to defeat me." He commented as he stuck out his tongue, pissing you off.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" You cast a powerful spell blasting him off.

"You're fun." He coughs blood.

"You're coming with me." You spoke as you placed magical chains on him.

- No goggles Mark

He was chained and being strangled by your power, and you were staring at him as he enjoyed being crushed with extreme pain.

"Ooohohohoo...." He muttered as he loved feeling the sensations of the hold of your chains against his throat.

You shuddered, "This feels disgusting."

[rainbowchaox]

Devotion Amidst Conflict: A Pissa Essay

This essay is gonna be talking about Pissa and how Squidcraft put a spotlight on the ship and dynamic. And why exactly does everyone adore them so much? The first point is that Squidcraft is purgatory 2.0 for the two of them. From first look the clear comparisons are obvious; both are very intense and competitive events.

But the main point I’m making is how Squidcraft and Purgatory mirrored each other in terms of their dynamic. In purgatory, both refused to hurt each other. Numerous times Phil commented he won’t hurt Missa. And canonically once Missa knew he was against Phil he just left. They are devoted without question to each other. The sun can’t be forced to hurt his moon and versa. Especially because Phil knows Missa like his own wings. He knows him like he knows himself. Of course he would rather die in Purgatory than risk being the one to kill Missa.

Which comes to the recent Squidcraft. Not only did Missa and Philza make it canon, their cubitos are the same as the ones on Qsmp. But this trend continues on and I even say stronger.

Absence makes the heart more protective.

Philza and Missa are again in a place where conflict is bountiful and death is plenty. Missa and Phil are both in the same conundrum where neither wants to hurt the other. How I see it though is Philza holds guilt over his point of view lack of care during purgatory. He in his view abandoned Missa. He could have tried harder. He could have been there. The two events are mirrors in my point of view. And it shows Philza's growth of care and love for Missa. And it’s key to understanding the ever growing dynamic and ship.

Philza canonized the cubitos as the same ones from Qsmp whether it’s a full on chronological continuation or some nightmare you can headcanon as you like. The fact is I’m using that as a basis of dissecting their dynamic in Squidcraft. It’s the natural progression of the cubitos relationship following QSMP.

Now let’s get into what exactly happened during Squidcraft. Phil and Missa are legit soulmates. They literally found each other first thing when they woke up! Actually meant to be! True eclipse! And that’s when we learn.

Absence really makes the love stronger.

One second in and Philza is already so protective and downright obsessed. “I follow you to the ends of the earth. He's not meant to hear that. ” Philza casually says this romantic line barely a minute after seeing Missa.

Their dynamic has shifted. Philza is way more obsessive. Also it’s very cute how Missa's habit of flirting with him in Spanish got flipped on its head. We also got a full confession!

“I wish I could tell you how much I love you and I don’t want you to see you die”.

Phil just wants to be around his Missa without any danger and to hear him laugh and bask in his presence. Many think Phil is the sun but it’s so clear to me that Missa is actually the sun. He brings light to Philzas' darkened days and he wants Missa to be safe! He doesn’t want to fail Missa any more. He wants to just be with Missa in any capacity. He is tired of waiting and of second guessing. He wants to protect his husband's smile.

There even comes a time during the day where Missa full on whimpers “If you find me you can kill me” and Bbh is like “I wasn’t planning but now I’m considering it” only for Phil to practically GROWL.

“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MISSA”

He never forgot the torture BBH inflicted on his Missa. No one can hurt his husband. Doesn’t matter if both are trapped within a death game. Missa is always off limits.

This isn’t to say it’s one-sided! Missa on his end was just as obsessive and downright possessive. Missa missed his husband so much. And he is so clingy and happy whenever he manages to find him. The two of them were on something else! They really stole the spotlight of the first day in my opinion. It was really fate that Philza first face he saw was the face of his reaper. Missa will always be someone he can trust wholeheartedly. Once Philza gives someone his heart. The person has his utmost loyalty. Missa even managed to sneak a kiss which makes me think the crow is so used to Missa presence because Missa is his safety.

BUT WELL, WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

Philza failed the one mission he did not want to fail. Missa dies. Philza thought the people around him wanted to protect the only good thing about this game of life. And Philza practically screams to the heavens. He has failed Missa again! The one moment Missa was out of his sight he bled out. He can only be angry at himself.

He should have found him. He should have tried to run to him even blinded in the dark. He should have been there for him. He screams until hoarse and until morning. His wings, his solace, and his sun. Gone. Taken. Philza sinks into a deep depression. He doesn’t want to fight anymore. He just wants Missa back by his side.

He needs Missa. His actual life has no meaning without him. The time between their reunions has made the steady flame into an ever burning fire. They are two halves of the same whole. Only complete when they are both together. And Philza knows that Missa would want him to save someone so he swears an oath to do so.

“I will whisper under my breath, ‘for you Missa’ and die”

Now onto day 2 of Squidcraft, to summarize Philza is definitely not coping without his sun. Without his Missa. Without his Reaper. Without his Wet Cat. Immediately he comes out with, wanting to die for Missa. That he has lost complete and utter motivation in this game without him. That his mission is to literally die protecting someone so he can be with Missa in hell. This comes to Philza and Phillip introduction. Both are men that Missa care a lot for and they sorta bond. They both lost a very important person to them. It’s literally only through Phillip telling him they both gotta do it for Missa. I see their dynamic as more both using the other as an emotional crutch than anything preferably more romantic leaning because of the fact they miss Missa so much.

Next on day 3 of Squidcraft, we have Phil again reiterating that his sole purpose is to die so he can join his love in hell. Which brings up the fact that Phil wants to die for Missa. While Phillip notoriously keeps mentioning they have to survive and win for Missa. Phil finds no reason to continue being in such a horrible place without the calming presence of his beloved. Phil is always his worst self without Missa to make him laugh. And Philza fully used Phillip as a way to cope with such intense and painful loss. And he failed again. He wants to die and reunite with his love. Why does he keep living when he wants to stop and see his Missa again.

At Least he has the solace that Missa will never stay dead. He is a reaper after all. He will always come back. But Phil still feels he failed him. He may come back but Philza never wants him to feel any pain if he can help it. Just because Missa can’t die doesn’t mean he can’t feel pain. And all Phil wants and desires for Missa is to be safe and happy. Hopefully with him.

Then on day 4, we have Phil fully embracing his depression even with his stream being titled “Why does everyone I love keep dying???”. I am personally taking this as Philza's inner thoughts. He didn’t want to live without his husband. And his coping mechanism died but like a phoenix from the flames, Phillip came back. In fact he said it was because of Missa.

"I saw missa, I saw him, he looked me in the eyes and said IT IS NOT YOUR TIME!"

As a reaper Missa knew it wasn’t time for Phillip to join him down there. Missa always knew Phillip and Phil would all eventually come to him. He just needed to wait. And it happens just like Missa knew it would. The Crow fell.

“It's ok chat, we'll go see missa now. We couldn't do it for missa. It's okay. We gonna go see Missa"

All he wanted was to see Missa again. And he was right there waiting for him. Just like Phillip said. Missa can be patient and if the Crow crushed him in a hug who knows. After all, “We were waiting for you Philza”.

In summary, they are devoted almost to the point of devotion. They just want to bask in each other's presence and see each other smile. Only for so long could Phil survive without his other half. And now Phil is in hell holding his love in arms. They will always come back to each other no matter what. Nothing can break them apart.

[nalyra-dreaming]

This is a random, potentially stupid question but could you explain how long vampire sleep works? I was thinking of Louis slowly starving in the coffin under the theater and was wondering why he wouldn’t just be able to do a deep sleep like Lestat has done. Was he too weak? Do you have to prepare for it in some way?

Not a stupid question!!

It is said that the vampires walled up beneath the theater were crying out senselessly and starving - and only some would manage to dig themselves out eventually(!), but it is also said that in order to go into the earth you would also have to... starve.

I think it has at least in part to do with the fact that he (and the others) did not lie in earth - but were entombed in stones.

There is a correlation in the books between going to the earth and actual immortality that Marius opens up, he calls it the "(first) death" that vampires experience.

He himself was told that

"With every exchange there came the lessons: that I was immortal, that only the sun and the fire could kill me, that I would sleep by day in the earth, that I should never know illness or natural death. That my soul should never migrate from my form into another, that I was the servant of the Mother, and that the moon would give me strength."

The earth seems to be where vampires initially "rest", and as such it does not seem to... drain them, for a lack of a better word, as laying in stone does.

It is also said that not all rise again.

If and when a vampire does rise again though, they are stronger after - I call that "the blood has distilled", again, for lack of a better word, but I think it fits. The cells had time to mutate unfettered (by human blood dilution), and the resulting being is "closer" to the end mutation all these vampires turn to.

Anne Rice's vampires mutate through the spirit infusion and the blood cells mutating further, their bodies turn into a kind of "plastic" with this mutation, Luracastria.

When there are powerful infusions of blood, initially, or over time, then that mutation is already so strong that starvation will not kill them anymore.

Lestat was strong enough not to starve to death when he went to earth.

Louis... it is debatable whether he would have been strong enough to break himself out of the coffin eventually or not.

Show Louis is stronger than book Louis, because Lestat was stronger. He could already use the fire gift with some practice.

But digging himself out would still have taken decades if not centuries, and he would surely have been mad after for ... a while.

As per why he did not "just" go to sleep - I... think it is simply that he was not in the right head space to do that?! You know?

Because these vampires go into the earth to sleep, because they're weary and tired and worn down... they want to leave the world behind. Their mind is peaceful, for the most part.

Louis... did not want to go to earth. He did not want to sleep. He was screaming and fighting for Claudia and Lestat and for himself when they forcibly entombed him, and even if they'd used earth I don't think he'd have had the peace of mind to ... relax into it.

Added to that is of course the fact that... he did not know he could potentially grow strong enough to break out of that - he thought he was being killed, and slowly. And so he fought it, with all he had.

And that simple fact alone likely prohibited all rational thought (which I find very understandable, tbh, it's my absolute horror as well *shudders*)

[haroun31]

Can you do reactions of Young Phos, Post-Winter Phos, Moon Phos, and Genocide/Revenge Phos to someone hurting the female human reader who they love so badly that she almost died?

●| Who Hurt You!? |●

■If someone were to almost kill you, how would they react?■

Tw: blood, violence

●| Young Phos |●

● Phos froze, unable to do anything but watch as an unbearable fear and confusion overwhelmed his inclusion anchoring him on the spot. He didn't know what to do, any idea was immediately overwhelmed with thousands other and that let him frozen on spot with the trembling of his eyes the only movement his inclusions permitted him.

● It was the first time he met the Lunarians so up close, it was the first time he was alone with them, it was the first time he ever had to actually fight them. So fear engulfed him before rationality.

● He was just showing you around the island, making flower crowns and having a good time with his favorite person. He didn’t expect for the Lunarians to appear so suddenly and out of nowhere and it froze him.

● Then there was you, bless your heart, his dear best friend, the only one who would put up with his bubbly personality without getting tired of it. You must really like him, uh? For pushing him away from the shower of arrows and getting hit in his place.

● Phos didn't know that humans could store so much red juice inside them, he didn't know it could stain the grass around you two like a canvas, he didn't know you get pierced and not broken apart like the gems. He didn't know and it must have fried his inclusion because suddenly he was frozen like a statue, his horrified gaze pinned on your unmoving body pierced with arrows as his ears could pick up the sound of string bows tense up and another attack ready to be released.

● Bort came just in time to destroy the Sun spot, followed by the rest of the gems as Phos slowly fell to his knees, never moving away his eyes from your shut ones in stunned silence.

● He couldn't do anything. . .he couldn't do anything and you almost died. He almost lost you forever because he wasn't strong enough to do something, to protect you. . .and worse of all, it happened the reverse. You are like this because you protected him.

● What kind of best friend would let the other almost fade away from existence?

●| Post-winter Phos | ●

● Post-winter Phos promised himself that he will protect you from everything and anything. He was stronger now, he wasn't scared anymore, he will move.

● He tried, really, Phos tried with all his might, with all his strenght to not let anything hurt you. Not now that he is stronger!. . .yet. . .yet he still. . .failed. . .?

● He already lost Anatarc, he doesn’t want to lose anyone else! Please! Especially not you!

● He knew how you were more fragile under some aspects than them. He knew that, yet he still let someone hurt you badly. The dog Lunarian was able to get into the school, into the sanctuary that he thought would be the safest place in the island. Phos was searching you all around the school, frantically pushing his legs to be faster.

● His ears found you before his eyes did. A shout, a curse and then a loud thud! When he finally reached you, your body was suspended by the leg as one of the dog copy slammed you against a pillar, leaving a deep red mark on it.

● Something snapped inside Phos and before he knew it he cut down the dog, over and over again, until it let go of you. The peppermint gem was already there to catching you in his alloy arms, cradling you closer to his chest while he could feel his inclusions crack inside him the more he looked at you.

● This time he moved and immediately brought you to Sensei, he doesn’t care if he is meditating, he will crack his head open to wake him up if it's necessary. Your life is so fleeting, how could he even think of losing precious seconds.

● He will remain by your side as Rutile and Sensei made their possible to keep you from the other side of death. His peppermint eyes would be pinned on your figure, watching the blood cake your skin and clothes before he couldn’t take it anymore and crack himself to pieces.

● The guilt was too much, it was eating him alive.

● He would be rebuilt and immediately be by your side once again, before not being able to cope with your condition and crumble once again. The gems opted to built him after you were deemed stable and alive or he would have kept auto destroy himself much much longer.

●| Moon Phos |●

● If something were to happen to you, Moon Phos would just snap, no question asked. Thanks to Lapis's head he wouldn't hesitate even for a second, with his only objective to get you to a safe place.

● Be it during a raid, in the caos of the battle you had been accidentally caught in the middle of it with one of the earth gems wounding you almost mortally. It wasn't even their intentions but it just happened.

● Moon Phos wouldn't even froze for a second to process what has just happened like in the past. He doesn't need to with Lapis's head. He would take out the threat, smashing the gem who hurt you before running toward your body to check up the damage.

● He would create a shield with his alloy before scooping you up and run away to call back the Lunarians and cutting short the raid to make sure you would survive.

● He is not visibly panicking, his hands doesn't tremble and his inclusions doesn't crack as his mind is only filled with one objective, take you to safety. He can crack later but not now with your life in danger.

● Once again he wouldn't leave you alone as you get treated, keeping one of his alloy hands tightly wrapped around yours and grimacing whenever he felt your warmth drop down. He doesn't care, he won't move from that chair until you wake. Not even if Aechmea is calling from him and will glare away any Lunarians that suggests him to leave you alone.

●| Invasion Phos |●

● If Moon Phos cracked only one gem, Invasion Phos will brutaly grind down everyone who dared to just lay even a finger on you. He was tired of playing mister nice and understandanding.

● The earth gems were desperated, they didn't know what more to do to stop Phos and the only solution they could came up with was to hurt you. They might have thought that seeing you half dead would crumble down Phos to the point of cracking up, but how wrong they were. Such fools.

● No, seeing you badly hurt did not crack up Phos, it did just fuel his anger and thirst for revenge. And no one will be able to stop him, not now that they dared to hurt you out of everyone.

● His bloodlust won't be placted until he grinded to dust each and every single earth gem, no matter if they were innocent or culprits. He didn't have mercy on anyone.

● He would glare at the Lunarians as the healed you up, ready to slice them if they hurt you even in the slightless. He wasn't in the mood to joke around with your health anymore.

[llamaisllama777]

LAES,TSAMS,EAPS WEEKLY*/*DAILY REVIEW SHOW!!!!!

Okay, we had a lot of really good episodes today, so let's hurry up and talk about them!

First up, FAMILY MOMENTS! I love this thumbnail so much, especially Moon's face.. I .. I just love it!

I love how we get to learn about everyone's movie preferences. It's interesting learning these little random tidbits about them. It's fun. Also Sun...

SPY KIDS 3 IS GREAT, AND I WILL NOT HEAR OTHERWISE!!! 😡

Also, Prince of Egypt is a really good movie. You all should go watch it. Even if you aren't religious, it's really good and has some awesome animation and music. Seriously, if you haven't watched, please do. I think it's on YouTube for free???

This episode was cute.... ONTO THE TRAUMA!

Bout time, I was wondering when Nexus would try to kidnap Sun. Took longer than I expected... I wonder why? 🤔

This episode I think confirmed a theory I had...

New Moon/Nexus never cared.

I had this thought in the back of my head that Nexus never really cared about them. He never thought of them as family. He just saw them as people he was told to call family. They were NEVER his family. He never really cared. He just cared about Solar, but Solar never saw him as a brother. OOOFFFFF!

That hurts!

But I'm glad we know because DANG! The angst there!

Also, Sun is stronger than Nexus' chain ability (That ability where he forces people to the floor. I like to imagine purple chains form around the person when he uses that move)

Nexus was so close to kidnapping Sun....

BUT MONTY CAME IN STINKIN' CLUTCH!!!!!!

Monty FINALLY got to use the shotgun! He nearly killed Nexus there! Thank you, Nebula, for the starshells! The Astrals are starting to grow on me.

(Okay... maybe a was a little rash on the whole "Down with the Astrals" "Viva la revolution" thing!) Sorry, Astrals. Still don't really trust Taurus or Leo tho.

Things are getting serious! October is in like two weeks! The creator is still out there! Rez and Cetus are out there! And Dark Sun still has a stinkin' dragon! This is gonna be an exciting October! I'm so excited!

Also, thank you, Davis and Reed, for this picture of Monty with a shotty.

And lastly...

Okay, Eclipse looks like that one guy from the office that conspiracy theory guy. And Puppet just looks depressed.

Puppet really wants to catch the killer. It's really affecting her. It's the MCI incident all over again. And she clearly doesn't want anyone or herself to go through that again. Eclipse still won't watch movies with anyone. It's only a matter of time, though. The moment he says yes and joins them is the moment his redemption arc is complete for me!

So, Eclipse and Puppet have narrowed down the killer to 4 suspects. All employees of Fazbear.

1. Vincent

2. Some lady named Margo

3. A teenage intern who works in the daycare named Josh

4. And the repair man whose name I forget.

I don't think it's any of these guys. But I have a few theories on who the killer could be..

1. Michael Afton of this world. Eclipse did mention in one of the early episodes of the EAPS that the Michael of this world was/still is an employee of Fazbears.

2. Henry Emily. Just cause the angst that it would cause Puppet.

3. The Charlie of this world. Just cause again the angst it would cause Puppet being the killer of this world!

There is no way it's Wanda(the William of this world)

And I highly doubt it's Vincent or some rando employee.

It has to be someone important.

These episodes were amazing!

Davis, Reed, Kat, Valentine, you guys did amazing on these episodes again!

12/10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Extra point cause WOW!

Also shout out to this commentor for having the funniest comment on there.

Nebula, you are starting to become my favorite Astral!

Also, Patchnotes is a ship I really hope happens now!

[andreal831]

Can we please stop pretending Klaus is some Machiavellian genius?

I get the show is always trying to tell us he is a mastermind, but there are so many more clever characters who actually set up long term plans to achieve their goals (Lucien, Celeste, Katherine). What did Klaus ever do that was ever strategic or showed any superior intelligence? If anything his intelligence was severely stunted, he was a thousand years old and still acting like a teenager half the time. He made rash and impulsive decisions and they worked out sometimes. They had just as much of a chance of blowing up in his face. This doesn't make him smart. If he wasn't so indestructible, he wouldn't have been so lucky.

Throughout history, we constantly see Elijah having to remind Klaus not to draw attention to them. All he has to do is stop being a serial killer or risk bringing the one man he is terrified of to town. You would think it would be easy, yet he is unable to control himself. At no point do we see him ever preparing to confront Mikael. He only runs from him. He could have created an army to trap Mikael or befriended witches. But no, instead of coming up with a plan, they all just run. Not much of a master strategist. The fandom loves to say it was stupid that Rebekah called Mikael to New Orleans yet doesn't want to talk about how stupid it was for Kol and Klaus to go on a killing spree which they knew would attract Mikael. And he does this not once, not twice, but repeatedly in every flashback we see, all the way from the first flashback in 1001 to the last in the 1950s.

Speaking of the 1950s, what great strategic plan was it to tell Elijah he buried their siblings at sea? He isolated the one family member he had left while Mikael was hot on his trail. This turned Elijah against him and what did Klaus do? Did he come up with a masterplan? No. he ran and body jumped.

Klaus' strength isn't his intelligence but his durability and his psychical strength. Which is why he was so determined to break his curse. He needed to be stronger than everyone, including his siblings. But what did any of that get him? Tristan and Aya at least built a cult and created weapons that could even take down Originals. Yet Klaus wasn't able to come up with any plan to take down Mikael?

We see Elijah tell Klaus that Klaus 'built' New Orleans, yet we never see any indication that Klaus is politically minded. In fact, in season one, he is in charge and a war breaks out in large part due to his scheming. He is constantly killing political leaders (the mayor, the mayor's son, the witches' leaders, every faction head, etc.) and then is surprised when they can't find peace and everyone is against him.

The only time Klaus had a long term plan that actually seemed clever was the lie about the sun and the moon curse. Not only did it take them nearly a thousand years before it actually worked, but he wasn't even the reason it worked. He was tricked by Elijah and literal teenagers. Elijah tricked him to get him to MF, the MF gang tricked him into believing Bonnie was dead, and then he fell for that exact same trick and believed that Elena was dead.

Throughout the shows and even flashbacks, people act like Klaus is this great strategist. And maybe he is compared to the children he is targeting. But when you put him up against his equals (Lucien, Mikael, Dahlia, etc.), he doesn't compare.

Celeste and Genevie were manipulating Klaus left and right in season one. In the short '9' months he was in New Orleans, he destabilized it so much that Hope nearly died. She only survived because of Marcel. They only got her back because of Elijah and Hayley. In fact, Klaus' plan to bring Hope back before they were ready is what drew Dahlia back so quickly, leaving them unprepared to face her.

Klaus wasn't responsible for Mikael's first death. He got lucky that everyone else (the children he was targeting) came up with a plan to trick Mikael. Mikael's second death was simply overpowering him, no outsmarting there. In fact, Mikael would have killed Klaus if his family hadn't saved him earlier.

Yes, he 'tricked' Dahlia into believing he betrayed his family, but this wasn't a trick. He actually did betray them. He murdered Gia and turned Elijah against him once again. He is unable to scheme without actually hurting those close to him and alienating the people trying to help. He lies that he killed Aiden, again another time he just jumps on the first opportunity he sees, and by doing so, he alienates all of their allies and endangers his family. The only reason they end up beating Dahlia is because of Esther. They all would have died based on Klaus' plan. Sure his idea to curse Hayley did technically save her life but he didn't do it for that purpose, he admitted he did it to punish her. There was no long term scheme. He hadn't thought through how it would impact Hope or even what he would tell his daughter as she got older.

Then in Season 3, Lucien had Klaus on his knees before his big brother and big sister swept in to save the day. Even taking down Tristan was thanks to Cami and Freya's plan. He had to be saved from the Strix by Hayley, Marcel, and Stefan. They have their big Thanksgiving dinner where they confront the three, but all it does is show that Lucien, Tristan, and Aurora had out schemed the Mikaelsons. The only thing the Mikaelsons could do was overpower them and threaten them.

In Season 4, Klaus hardly does anything and Season 5 Klaus is an absolute mess. You're telling me this legendary strategist couldn't save his daughter and her mother from a hundred year old vampire? He couldn't figure out a way to find her? In the seven years they were forced apart, he wasn't even trying to find a way to reunite his family? He wasn't a strategist, rather he waited for events to happen and then reacted impulsively, hoping it would work out. His plans are all based on emotion and vendettas, not strategy or intelligence.

Yes, he is Machiavellian in a sense that he has nearly no empathy and will do whatever it takes to get what he wants, but he lacks the cunningness to be truly Machiavellian. Instead he is just a narcissistic psychopath.

[thestarryeyedadmirer]

I found him in the woods again, Richard. Just before sunrise…

As you know, my husband — Penn — has been going feral at night lately… creeping out of the house while it’s dark — when his instincts get the better of him — to go hunting. He kills small animals for sport, climbs through the trees, rolls around in the dirt, and howls at the stars. I’m sure you’ve heard him creeping around your land these last couple of nights… that you’ve found a staggering number of dead chickens in the thickets behind your barn. I’m sorry that he’s been crossing the property line and hunting your livestock. I’m sure that it’s a heavy burden on you and your family… but Penn leaves the house so that he doesn’t… hurt me.

The current lunar cycle has been tough on him. The moon is in the process of waxing, and with every passing stage, his instincts grow stronger… harder to control. He gets upset when the sun goes down… starts lashing out over the smallest things. I found the note that you left in our mailbox a few days ago, asking if I was doing okay after our last screaming match… and I am. Trust me, there’s nothing wrong. No love lost. Penn is just… giving in to his nature. He yells, and throws things, and sometimes he even bites at me… but he doesn’t mean to. It’s not really him. It’s… something else.

I neglected to mention this before, but Penn is pregnant with our son… coming up on his 20th week. We were going to keep quiet, and wait until Penn got larger before making the big announcement… but I guess there’s no hiding it anymore. Penn is growing fast… but the baby has only made things worse. He tells me that pregnancy is different for creatures like him… that, the closer he gets to the birth, the more animalistic he’s going to become. It’s “the natural way of things”… the only way for him to build up enough strength for the baby. By the fall, he’ll forget everything he’s learned about humanity, and go full-wolf again.

I haven’t seen Penn in his wolf form in years, and the changing of the season will probably mark your first time encountering him in such a state. If worse comes to worst, and you find a large wolf stalking your land, please do not shoot at it. Do not confront or engage with it in any way, and warn your family to do the same.

I knew what I was getting myself into when I took him into my home, nearly a decade ago. He wasn’t a man when I found him… and he was hardly a man when I fell in love with him. Even still, I knew he would never hurt me. Now… I’m not so sure. I won’t bore you with the details of our life together, but I will say that something has definitely changed within him since he got pregnant.

He lunged at me this morning, when I called his name… pounced from behind a tree and slashed his claws at me. He scratched my arm pretty deep, and thrashed me around for a while… and he would’ve kept going had he not heard my screams. I hate to think about what would’ve happened had he not snapped out of his primitive mental state. There was a terrible look in his eyes — a beastly anger, that faded after he realized who I was.

If you heard any commotion in the woods, please don’t make a big deal of it. I know that Penn wasn’t… all there… and I’m doing alright. He’s been nursing my arm all day. The wound is pretty gnarly, and it hurts like hell… but it’s clean now, wrapped up with gauze.

This isn’t the first time that this is happened — that Penn has attacked me — and he’s still apologizing for it… but, this time is so much worst than the last. After a long heart-to-heart he and I have decided to separate from one another for a while. Just until he gives birth. I love him more than anything in the world… I do… and I can’t wait to raise a child with him… but I don’t think it’s safe for him to be around me anymore.

Even now, he’s watching me from across the den. I can’t tell if he’s keeping an eye on me out of guilt, or if the smell of my blood has made him… change. I might not survive the night if he stays here any longer, so he’ll be leaving the house tonight. Theres no hope in keeping him domesticated any longer… so he’s going to disappear into the wilderness and go through the rest of the pregnancy on his own. He’ll be back after our son is born, whenever he feels that the time is right.

I’m writing you this letter, not only to update you on our lives and quell your concerns, but also to let you know that Penn’s absence is nothing to be suspicious about. He is doing well, and I am okay. Please do not worry about us.

Thank you, Richard, for everything. Really. Stay safe.

[crusty-chronicles]

The Moon and Sun (Big Sib Reader x Gon/Killua)

Ch 15: It's too much

Synopsis: You didn't think it was possible, but you've finally reached your limit. And it just so happened to be when one of your boys needed you the most.

-------------

A month.

A whole month of being subjected to various presences appearing and disappearing.

One full month of being swarmed by ants and forcing yourself to operate through your own limits.

Four entire weeks of hell…but did you regret it? Not one bit. At least not in the ways that mattered. You didn't regret training to get stronger. To endure more.

You didn't regret creating a new ability that worked well with ‘your little problem’.

You most certainly didn't regret leaving anymore. Enough time had passed for you to be certain. You were free.

Everything that had been weighing you down these past thirteen years was finally lifted. The fear of facing anyone from your former clan was gone for now. You could let your paranoid exterior melt away without the fear of Reik coming for you. Of course you'd still be cautious with your aura, but you'd allow yourself to relax a little.

Suffering a month in hell was worth knowing for sure your presence wouldn't endanger Gon and Killua.

No, you'd rather die quietly somewhere than be responsible for more deaths. You didn't want them involved with what might happen. What had already happened once.

Maybe that was why you kept pushing them away. Why you simply couldn't tell them about who you used to be. You were scared of letting them close to you. Scared of losing another kid who you loved like family. To allow yourself to become attached only for them to be injured or worse.

The best option would have been to leave for good. But you just couldn't do that anymore. Instead letting yourself be selfish and push them away, only to pull them closer when YOU thought was best.

It wasn't fair, and you knew that.

But you were never a good person. You'd done so many horrible things. It was inconceivable for someone like you to be deserving of love and kindness.

Yet you craved it.

A life worth living with people worth living for.

So you'd continue to push and pull until they eventually had enough of you. Until they wanted nothing to do with you. A price you were willing to pay as long as they were safe.

The month had gone by far too soon for your liking. You didn't think you were ready to face the boys after leaving so suddenly. After lying directly to Gon's face. You wanted to see them more than anything, but did they want to see you?

You had a feeling they wouldn't.

Though it didn't really matter at the moment. You'd promised to meet them at the entrance today. You were nothing if not true to your word. So at the break of dawn, you took off.

Something about today didn't feel right. If you were an ordinary person you would have chalked it up to nerves. Maybe even brushed it off. But you knew your body and right now it was trying to prepare you for something.

As if sensing an inconvenience before it even happened.

Hopefully an inconvenience was all it would be. You don't think you could take it right now if it was something big.

Former hunter instincts had to count for something right?

You were just glad it had finally stopped raining. You should be able to make it to the border in thirty minutes tops. Plenty of time to figure out what to say to your boys when you saw them.

It hit you then, that they weren't the only ones you needed to prepare yourself to talk to. You'd have to confront the amateur hunters and tell them….

Kite was most likely dead.

You couldn't find him. You, who was able to track anything and anyone, couldn't find him. Not a trace of his aura that indicated he was still here in the NGL. Sure there was a chance he was able to retreat somewhere safely. But you highly doubted he would have been able to escape without killing the cat chimera ant. It wouldn't have let him leave otherwise.

You could try to convince yourself with fake scenarios all you wanted, but the one thing you couldn't make excuses for was the blood. So much of it splattered into the dirt.

More than you'd lost.

The trees in the surrounding area were chopped down with precision. Meaning Kite had fought, or at least tried to.

You knew. You've known since the first day you came here and couldn't sense him. But you still wanted to foolishly believe he was okay. Knowing your heart would surely break if the opposite was true. That once again, your own cowardness had killed someone you cared about.

So you convinced yourself until the nest was checked top to bottom, Kite was alive and well. You could let yourself pretend things were fine until then.

You could just barely make out the two giant trees by the entrance. A damn shame you still hadn't come up with anything to say. You could always say sorry, but it didn't feel like enough.

Not after both boys had gone through the trouble of making sure you wouldn't die.

What to do, what to d-

You immediately stopped in your tracks. Body tensing as an eerie feeling washed over you. Something cruel and strong had just been born. The malice faint due to your distance, but the fact you could feel it from all the way over here told you enough. It's existence was suffocating.

Worse than the other three that awakened prior.

If that was the king then…

You shook off the thought. Instead, pushing your legs to run at top speed. The sooner you met up with the boys, the better. You'd be able to fill in the other hunters that were here faster.

Yet the closer you got to the border, the heavier the pit in your stomach got. By now you should've been able to sense the boys. But there was no trace of them. Instead, two very different presences stood by the entrance.

You blinked twice to make sure you were seeing correctly. And sure enough that was NOT Gon and Killua. You hesitated on moving forward, waiting to see if your boys would eventually come out and when they didn't, your mind immediately went into a frenzy.

Creating the worst possible scenarios as to why your kids weren't here. Were these Morel's pupils? Did they hurt the boys? Did something happen to them?

Both men ahead of you felt tense. Anxiety radiating off of both of them, along with a little bit of guilt.

Guilt?

You were in front of them in an instant. Both jumping back in shock. The one with the pompadour took a fighting stance shortly after. Sizing you up before he realized he was completely outclassed.

The domineering presence Knuckle was used to having over others slipped away. It stood no chance up against yours. Looming and dangerous. Your resolve growing stronger by the second. Making both him and Shoot feel smaller than they were.

Insignificant.

“Who the hell are you?” Ice.

Pure ice in your tone. Not an ounce of nen was used, and yet your demeanor alone was overpowering. But Knuckle could faintly see a protective anger rising.

Protective and defensive. Like an animal defending its young. And if that was the case, then you were most likely the one the boys were talking about. Their big sibling that they described as tired and unbothered most of the time. Yet had the potential to be just as menacing if you wanted to. And right now, you were more than menacing.

Your rising anger made sense considering how things must've looked. It was best to try and defuse the situation before you actually killed one of them. Shoot, who'd come to the same conclusion, was already on it.

“You're Y/n right? Gon and Killua talked highly of-”

“Where are they. What did you do.” Your accusation hanging heavily in the air. The tension so heavy, neither of them could speak.

It was as if you believed they killed them. And that definitely warranted your reaction. But it was far from the truth. The boys were perfectly fine. So why couldn't either of them tell you that?

Why was the way your tired eyes glared at them so paralyzing?

Afraid to even say the wrong word.

“They stayed behind. They put up a good fight-” Knuckle didn't get a chance to finish before you were already gone.

Both men letting out a sigh of relief once they were sure you were gone.

“We almost died just now, didn't we?” Shoot mumbled.

“...It’s no wonder Gon and Killua struggled in combat. With a power like that protecting them, they wouldn't even need to lift a finger. Let alone worry about getting hurt. If they'd been with the boys back there, we would've lost for sure.” Knuckle noted.

He could see why both boys respected you, but damn did you put the fear of God in him.

—--------

You zipped between the giant trees with ease. Anxious of what you'd find beyond them. You were hoping with your entire being they were okay. Because if something happened to those boys….

You might just have to break your promise.

You stood at the entrance and immediately focused your eyes. Your heart beating rapidly against your ribcage until you finally saw them.

But something was clearly wrong.

Unbridled sadness was in both of their auras. Grief mixing in. Gon was hunched over with Killua right besides him.

Were those tears?

Your body seemed to move on its own. Once again rushing, but this time your purpose was different. Wanting to comfort them from whatever happened while you were gone.

“Hey, hey, hey, what happened? Kid, you're crying.” Your tone much different than the one you used with Knuckle and Shoot. Soft and warm. Enough for both boys’ heads to shoot up in your direction.

“Y/n?” Gon hesitantly asked before it registered that you were really there.

“Y/n!”

You barely had enough time to think before you were engulfed in a tight hug. Arms wrapped so tightly around you it bordered on hurting. It took a few seconds for you to return it.

You could feel Gon shaking against you. Head pressed firmly against your stomach as he continued to cry.

“I was-I was too weak! I let you down!”

Your heart broke at his sob. You knew he was always so hard on himself. That every time something went wrong he'd blame it on his own shortcomings. So why the hell in your idiot mind did you think it was okay to add even more pressure to that. To say ‘win because I'll be waiting.’

“I’m so sorry! I tried, I really tried my best but it just wasn't good enough!” His grip tightened slightly around you.

You did your best to rub soothing circles into his back. How many times had you assured him it was never his fault? How many more would there be in the future? It didn't matter. You'd continue to reassure him as many times as it took for the weight on his shoulders to be lifted. As many times as he needed.

“You didn't let me down. You know I could never be disappointed in you right?”

He shook his head against you, unbelieving in your words. And once again you blamed Ging for constantly setting his son up to compare himself to others. He couldn't do this or he couldn't do that. He wasn't as strong as so-and-so.

That didn't make him any lesser of a person and it never would.

“Look at me. Can you do that? Let me see you?” You gently coaxed his head up, taking in his ashamed expression. Tears and snot alike running down his face. But right now you could care less about that.

“I don't care if you were able to get those game pieces or not. I'm just relieved you're okay. That you're both okay.” Your eyes briefly glancing over towards Killua who still stood a little ways away.

“You did your best and that's all I could ask for. Okay? Don't beat yourself up over nothing.”

“But Kite-” Gon tried to protest.

“I'm sure that old geezer and his gang of goons will be able to find him. And you know he wouldn't be upset with you either. He'd be just as proud you did your best. So please don't be upset about something that's out of your control. You did just fine.”

You hoped that would've been enough to calm him down. His tears had stopped, but his grip hadn't waivered. Opting to once again press his head into your stomach. To let your warm presence engulf him before it once again disappeared.

“Don't leave us again.” He pleaded.

A promise you couldn't make just yet. Something was stopping you from doing it. A feeling of uncertainty. So instead you settled on-

“Let's get you and Killua home.”

Home. Your home was with them. And that was finally enough for Gon's arms to go lax around you. Nodding feebly and keeping as close to you as possible for now.

Your gaze once again drifted towards Killua. He wasn't crying anymore, but he still looked very tense.

“And you? How are you feeling?” You made a gesture for him to come closer. Wanting to hug both of your boys. This past month taking it's toll on you.

“I'm fine.” The answer felt distant. Almost dismissive. You could see that he was lying to you, but that wasn't the issue. He wasn't lying because he didn't want you to worry, but because he didn’t think you had to know. Deserve to know.

However, there was so much hesitation there, as if he was fighting with himself to not run over to you.

You didn't like this and how the looming feeling from earlier seemed to intensity.

—------------------

It was surprising how empty the jeep was. You'd grow used to being packed up like sardines. To being surrounded by so many people. Something you never thought would happen.

In a sense you were glad. You wouldn't feel their heavy stares as much when you told them about Kite. Or perhaps you felt the guilt wouldn't weigh as much. Yet you knew the outcome would be the same regardless of if they were all here or not.

You'd stammer your way through an apology and ultimately be hated for not being able to find him.

It was only Mon, Stick, and Spin who came this time. The later sitting in the back with you and the boys. You were dreading when she'd ask the inevitable question. It was only a matter of time.

Gon clung tightly to your arm, refusing to relinquish your comfort for even one second. And while you knew he was hurting, you couldn't even begin to imagine what the other three were going through.

Uncertain of their mentor’s fate, yet still holding strong.

You wished the same was true for you. You'd cried that first day. Seeing the aftermath of what that stupid cat did. Hell, the sight was enough to make you pass out.

But you knew it wasn't your place to grieve. You had absolutely no right to be upset when his students had known him for years. Who were you to make a fuss? Just because you had feelings for him?

To act out like that would be selfish and inconsiderate. Disgraceful.

You'd thought about pulling the boys to the side and explaining it to them. That no matter how upset they were about Kite, it wasn't their place or their right to cry in front of the amateur hunters about what happened.

But….

They were just kids.

Their emotions were valid. To say otherwise would diminish them. To say ‘stop crying, you don't deserve too’ would be cruel. All too reminiscent of your own upbringing. The last thing you wanted was to repeat the mistakes inflicted on you.

So you continued let Gon sniffle against your arm and Killua lean against your shoulder. You continued to sit in the awkward silence as Spin sat from across you. You continued to bite your tongue until you were spoken to directly.

“Were you able to get anything on Kite?” Spin asked at last. Though her demeanor was a lot less hostile than you were expecting.

In front of you were two choices. You could either lie or tell the truth.

‘I’m sorry. I was so focused on training that I didn't really have the time to look.’

Definitely not. How disgusting of a human being would you have to be to say that? Like you couldn't have cared less about him after running away. You were sure you'd be tossed out of the jeep for that one.

‘I searched everywhere for him,. but all I found was blood. I'm sorry but he's gone. There was nothing I could do about it.’

But if you said that then you'd have to admit to yourself he was actually dead. And you weren't quite ready for that yet. As much as they deserved to know, you just couldn't say it.

“Every trail I followed ended up leading to nothing. My senses are still dulled from my previous injuries, so I wasn't able to get much anyways…I'd place a wager he's probably using zetsu to keep out of the ants’ radar. Don't count him out just yet.”

Lies.

All lies.

But you'd fooled yourself into believing they were true.

As long as there was hope, there was a chance.

“Thank you for trying. And before you start apologizing again, don't. Got it?” She warned.

As if sensing your inner turmoil. But in reality it was the image of you knocking on death's door just to say you were sorry to them. To push your own needs aside to make amends.

There wasn't anything to make up for, at least not in her eyes.

So the conversation was left at that with a nod of confirmation from you.

Another long silence, except it was a bit more manageable this time. By now Gon's sniffles had completely stopped. A few minutes later, it was him who interrupted the silence.

“Y/n.” He called.

You gave a small hum to show you were listening.

“You can make me stronger, can't you?”

You tensed up at the question. You very well could make both boys stronger, but you didn't want to use your clan’s methods to do it. Unfortunately for you, that was the only way you knew how. You should've said no.

“...Yes…” you answered.

“Then I want you to train me.” There was a resolve brewing in his eyes. One let you know he wouldn't take no for an answer.

“Knuckle and the other Hunters are going to save Kite, I'm sure if it.” He'd let go of your arm in favor of facing you fully.

“So I have to get a whole lot stronger, because Kite's coming back. And I won't disappoint him!”

Atta boy.

No more tears.

And before you could reassure him that Kite would never be disappointed, Spin decided to speak up.

“So your head's on straight after all?” It felt playful. Not angry or accusing. In fact, her aura surged with assurance. And when she addressed Gon, it was a light scolding coming from a good place.

“It's true that you may have met Kite before we did, but the fact remains that we've spent much more time with him than you have.”

A point you'd rationalized earlier. Maybe you were a little glad you weren't the one who had to explain it to them.

“If you were still mopping around after we'd crossed the mountains, I was gonna beat you up.” She paused before shaking her head. As if to rid the thought away before continuing.

“Then I'd tell you Kite wouldn't want to see you like this. Any of you.”

Because Kite had always been a good person. Even if he pretended to be a hardass sometimes.

“I'm positive that he's still alive. And I'm absolutely certain he wouldn't want the three of you to have any regrets. Especially you,” Spin pointed directly at you.

But however comforting her words sounded, you'd always blame yourself. How could you not regret being responsible for someones death? How could you sit in front of her and pretend everything was fine when you knew it wasn't?

Lies.

Lying to yourself and everyone around you.

You were hoping this was the inconvenience you were sensing earlier, but the feeling still hadn't left.

You tuned back into the conversation at a good time. With Spin encouraging Gon to continue training if he wasn't strong enough. Only for said boy to start doing handstands.

Whatever worked you guessed.

As long as he wasn't upset anymore.

Which reminded you, what the hell was that thing hovering over him? Another cat like creature. This one purple with a Cheshire grin. You were starting not to like cats anymore.

You'd ask him about it later. You directed your attention to Killua who continued to avoid your gaze.

Was he mad at you?

No, he didn't feel angry. If anything, he still felt sad. Bordering on depressed. Not good.

You'd be sure to talk to him later. It was unlike the small assassin to be so quiet. To be distant from both you and Gon. The melancholy look in his eyes certainly didn't help ease your worries.

“Hey Spin?” Gon called after a while.

“Hmm.”

“Why do you want to be a hunter?” His go to ice breaker. You don't think he'd ever tire of asking it.

“Because I need the money so that I can repay an enormous debt,” she answered. A thoughtful expression on her face before she continued explaining.

Telling the story of how when her and Stick were smaller, they did everything they could to help out a special type of swan. One that only inhabits an area around a certain mine.

Their only option was to try and buy the land. And here's the kicker: Kite was the one who helped finance it. The only one who listened to their concerns and helped without expecting anything in return.

If you thought you couldn't fall any deeper in love with him, then you were wrong.

Kite really was someone special, wasn't he?

If you ever saw him again, you'd spend the rest of your life making things right. He deserved that much.

—-------------------

“Hey, Y/n. Before we get off, we should really tell you something.” Gon started, almost anxiously.

You arched a brow at his worried tone before exiting the jeep to help him and Killua down.

“And what's that?”

“Well, you see….” He trailed off before Killua took over.

“We kinda promised a psycho lady we'd beat Knuckle and Shoot. And she said if we couldn't do it she'd um…. How strong did you say you were again?” Because now that Gon’s nen was temporarily gone, he wouldn't be able to defend himself.

But you didn't know about that yet.

So when you only gave them an even more baffled look, he didn't really blame you.

“Just look.” Killua pointed behind you.

Your eyes widening as you saw a visibly unstable aura consume the entire building.

“What the actual fuck?” You mumbled in disbelief.

This must've been what your body was anticipating. Such a malicious and bloodthirsty aura. Intent so thick it was actually visible to the naked eye. You would have sensed it sooner had you not been so preoccupied with the boys. But now that you were focusing on it, it was incredibly intense.

Yet, it would never be as bad as what you felt all those years ago. However evil this woman's was, it didn't hold a candle to Reik's. So after making sure both boys were behind you, you wasted no time barging in.

You had to use a small barrier of your own aura to ward off hers. Creating a makeshift shield in order to go deeper into the small home.

You scanned the area with your eyes until you saw what room she was in. Wasn't that your room??? You shook the thought off and approached the door.

“Remember, I tell you to leave, you leave. She feels fairly strong so if I can't handle her, I need to know you two will be safe.” You reminded.

They nodded, not wanting Palm to hear them.

You slowly opened the door. Only a sliver of a way open and you had to do a double take of what you were seeing. She was stabbing something.

WAS THAT A DOLL OF GON?!?!?

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

Why were there multiple of them?!?!?

Her head snapped towards you. Eyes bloodshot and crazed. But she wasn't looking at you. She was looking through you. As if you weren't there. Fixated on the two boys behind you.

“You'll pay for this.”

Both boys clung desperately to your side as she stood up. You lifted one of your arms up, preparing to use either your Caster's Net or your new ability. If she attacked, you'd stop her.

“You promised me.” She continued.

“You swore that you would take me to the NGL. You said if you broke that promise, you'd stick a thousand needles in your eye.”

Yup, you'd heard enough.

“You're not gonna lay a single finger on them. If you hurt even one of my boys…I'll make you suffer.” Your threat hanging heavier than hers.

Allowing your protective aura to be seen and envelop Gon and Killua. Palm finally met your gaze. Noticing you for the first time since you've been here.

“This doesn't concern you.” She snapped.

“The hell it doesn't, these are my kids!” You rebuttabled.

“I don't give a damn about what they promised you. They're children. They say things they don't mean all the time. You can't just hold that over their heads because you didn't get the result you wanted!” You were about at your limit already.

Too many damn expectations placed upon these boys. Just because they were strong, it didn't mean they weren't still kids capable of making mistakes. The more people like this you stumbled upon, the more faith you lost.

But before you could continue arguing with Palm, there was a tug on your sleeve. You looked down and were met with determined honey-colored eyes.

“I know me and Killua are still young, but I did mean what I said. I promised Palm we would win because I really thought we'd be able to do it. You're only as good as your word, right? So let me take responsibility.”

You wanted to double down. To tell him not to worry about it. That you'd take care of it. But you knew he was right. A promise made was a promise kept.

You just wished he hadn't used your own morals against you. That he was trying to follow them. He really was a good kid….And he was growing up too fast.

“Ugh, fine. Let the murder lady walk all over you, why don't you?” You gave in. Gon beamed up at you before glancing over your shoulder to address Palm.

“I'm sorry, is there a way that I can make amends?” He asked.

Palm seemed to think it over for a minute. The malicious intent in her aura slightly dissipating.

“There is! You must accomplish any one task that I set before you.”

Why did that sound familiar? Oh, you knew why. It was the same thing you told the boys when they were so adamant on paying you back for Greed Island. But you didn't have a very good feeling about what Palm wanted from Gon.

“Wait a sec! Think about how Gon is feeling!” Killua tried to defend, but as always, the boy in green was quick to make an impulsive decision.

“Fine. Okay.”

There wasn't even a second of silence before Palm made her request.

“Go out with me.”

“Deuueaugh!” A noise of utter and complete shock leaving you.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” You recovered.

“And why not?” Palm questioned, as if that was a perfectly normal response to why a grown woman shouldn't be going out with a 12 year old.

And the worst part, poor little Gon wasn't even phased.

“AM I HAVING A STROKE RIGHT NOW???? FIRST HISOKA AND NOW HER!?!? WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?!?”

“It's no big deal. I said I'd do anything,” Gon dismissed. But you simply weren't having it.

“DON'T ACT LIKE I'M THE ONE BEING CRAZY!!! KILLUA, HELP ME OUT HERE!”

“Y/n is right! Gon, do you have any idea what you're doing!?!? And you-” he pointed towards Palm.

“IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU WANT IT TO HAPPEN!?!? JUST THINK FOR A SECOND!”

“THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE! HE'S TWELVE! A BABY!!! I REFUSE TO ALLOW THIS!”

But all you and Killua received in return was a glare.

“This is none of your business. It's between Gon and me and it's settled. Just between Gon and me, mmmm, oh goodness,” she squealed.

“I said no.”

Your icy tone immediately catching her attention.

“Look, I'm sorry he promised you something he couldn't do. And I know he said he'd do anything to make it right, but I refuse to allow you to take advantage of my little brother. If your heart is desperately set on a date, then you can have me or you can get nothing. Understand?”

You didn't have time to go over the list of reasons why it was wrong for this grown woman to try and romance a kid. So to save time and get this over with, you offered yourself, the only other adult in the room.

Even though you wanted nothing to do with this woman.

But after the words left your lips her face immediately flushed. The phrase ‘you can have me’ making her internally squeal. And whether it was your fiery tone or the offer itself, your fate was unfortunately sealed.

“Yessss. You'd do just nicely.”

You heard the boys gulp from behind you. A slight protectiveness now radiating off both of them. Palm on the other hand, had finally calmed down. Apparently fantasizing about what to do.

“There's already somewhere I really want to go.”

“Today?” You questioned.

“I'm sorry but I just got back from a month of training. I need some time to unwind before I can go anywhere. That and I'd like to spend some time with my boys.” You explained.

You already had a huge headache from just conversing for a few minutes. You'd be snippy and pissed the entire day if she forced you to go anywhere now.

But that wasn't exactly the answer Palm wanted to hear. A knife placed firmly against your throat.

“Don't you dare-!” Killua made a move to disarm her, but you raised a hand to signal him to stop.

The bags under your eyes increasing significantly. Tired and unimpressed. Like you were over this entire situation.

“What are you talking about? We are going out. You said you'd take his place, didn't you?” You didn't like how calm her voice was right now. Knowing one wrong word and she'd surely snap again.

“Yes but-”

“THEN WHY ARE BLOWING ME OFF FOR THESE BRATS!!!! WE'RE DATING AND THIS WILL BE OUR FIRST DATE! YOU HEAR ME!?!? OUR! FIRST! DATE!” She threatened you with her knife.

You used your finger to lower the blade away from your neck. Was this the first time you were threatened at knife point? No. More than anything you found it annoying.

You could feel a steady out poor of defensive aura from behind you. Both boys preparing to swing if Palm did anything to you. You appreciated it, but they were only overwhelming your senses more.

“A first date should be memorable, yeah? A lot of planning goes into making something so special. Just give me the rest of the day to get my bearings.”

And in your exhausted state, you grabbed her hand and put it directly over your heart.

“You have my word we'll go on a date tomorrow.”

She dropped her knife and avoided your eyes. A bashful feeling over taking her aura.

“Sorry. If you would have explained that first, I wouldn't have gotten so angry.”

“It's fine. Though things would be a little easier if you gave me your number. I'd fill you in on all the details in the morning that way.” You explained.

You didn't mean for it to come out as flirtatious, but by the dark hue spreading across Palm’s face, she certainly took it as such.

“You…want my number?”

“Yes???”

“Ooh, you charmer. Would you also like to know where I'm staying so you can pick me up?” She hid her face behind her hands.

“Uh, no thank you. Just your number is fine.”

—-------------------

When Palm left you just about collapsed on the floor. You were both tired and drained from dealing with her seemingly never ending mood swings.

“You holding up okay, Y/n?” Gon asked.

“I need ten minutes of complete silence. Please.” You said exasperated.

Just this morning had been a lot. Hell, you'd hardly had a break this entire month. Constantly using your ability to sense for danger. The murky feeling of bloodlust and everything malicious swarming you.

Only to come back home to more of it. So much that it lingered in the small home. It wasn't that the feeling scared you, but you were fed up with it being all you could feel.

You knew the boys had good intentions trying to subtly defend you. But their added hostility only further drained you.

You just wanted a small break from everything negative. Just a few minutes of nothing so your body could reset.

You were only human after all.

The duo didn't push and let you have your space. Telling you to take as much time as you needed.

You truly were grateful they were so understanding.

You glanced around your room with a frown.

Your bed wasn't even here anymore. And even if it was, you weren't gonna go digging through all the Gon dolls to find it. You wanted to let out a groan of frustration seeing various strands of black hair left on the floor.

Just your luck you'd come back to a mess.

What else could possibly go wrong today?

You used your foot to clear up some space on the ground. You were used to sleeping on the floor anyways. Laying down for a few minutes wasn't so different. Curling into yourself and reaching for Kite's hat in your pocket.

Truthfully you should've handed it off to the amateur hunters. The one thing he left behind. They deserved to have something of his. But for some reason you just couldn't let go of it.

Not until you were certain he was gone.

It'd been a sorta sense of comfort for you. His scent helping you through your worst days in the NGL. Clutching it close when you realized you couldn't find him. When you allowed yourself to remember what brought you to this point.

Though you were certain it smelled more like you now than it did him.

You didn't dare wear it. Sure he'd given it to you, but it didn't feel right putting it on. Like you were tainting his memory.

‘He’s not dead,�� a small voice argued.

‘But what if he is?’ another sounded off.

Uncertain yet certain at the same time.

You just wanted to relax and forget everything for a second. Bringing the familiar blue hat up and hugging it close to your chest.

You'd give it back when you saw him again. It was a promise.

—------------------

Rather than 10, it took 30 minutes for you to calm down enough. Deciding you definitely weren't sleeping here tonight with how much of Palm’s presence still lingered.

Which brought you to where you were now. The boys wanted to get some training in. Asking if you'd accompany them to a nearby gym so they could fill you in on everything that's happened.

You agreed of course. Rationalizing you could also start planning for your date tomorrow. Gah! You had no idea what you were doing.

“Thank you again for stepping in back there. But you know you didn't have to, right?” Gon said as he lifted up a barbell. Much to the other gym goer's surprise.

“Of course I had to. It's my job to look after both of you. And if that means going on a date so you don't get taken advantage of, then so be it.” You explained with a reassuring grin.

He was happy to see you were doing better. Even if it kinda was his fault you felt drained in the first place.

“Hey Gon, there's something I wanted to ask you.” Killua started.

The boy in green gave a small hum in return.

“When I heard you talking to Palm, it seemed like you were right there in your element. Sooo, have you ever been on a date before?”

The question caught you completely off guard. What shocked you even more was Gon's answer.

“Sure, plenty of times.”

Both you and Killua doubled over in shock.

“Except, most all of them were with my Aunt Mito.” He clarified.

Then they weren't really dates. For a second you were scared. Worried? Good for him if he was meeting other kids his age, but you had a feeling that wasn't the case. And as Killua asked Gon to explain what he meant by most, you were correct.

“Sometimes ships with all female crews would stop by Whale Island. And some of them would only go out with guys who were younger than them.”

God fucking damnit. Seems he always had a knack for attracting creeps.

“I'd show them around town and they'd teach me a bunch of stuff.”

“Stuff?!?”

But Gon only laughed at you and Killua's reactions.

“They call women like that cougars. Isn't that crazy.”

He stopped laughing once he noticed you'd tensed up.

“Names and addresses. Now.”

“It's not that big a deal, “ he tried to brush off.

“Yes it is! You're a tater tot. Do we need to have a talk about stranger danger? You can't just go on dates with adults.” You lectured.

“I’m sure I'm not the only one. You've been on lots of dates too, right Killua?” Gon directed his attention to the mini assassin.

“Huh!?! No way. I was too busy.” Killua answered.

“All of my time went to assassin training. And we've been together since I retired.”

You noted he looked a little sad after he said those words. Grief once again mixing with his aura. What could've made him so distraught?

“Oh yeah…What about you, Y/n? How old were you when you went on your first date?” Gon questioned, hoping your answer would vindicate him.

“However old I am now.”

The sound of weights dropping caught your attention. Head snapping up just in time to see the bewildered expressions on the duo's faces.

“No way! This is gonna be your first date!?!”

“Yeah, you're ancient and you're telling me you've never gone out with someone!?!?”

You gave a small glare at Killua's comment before responding.

“Is it really that surprising? I'm not the biggest people person. Besides, romance never really interested me before, so I had no use for it.”

To be honest, you'd never really had feelings for someone until….

Until Kite.

“Wait a minute, you said ‘before.’ Does that mean you're interested now?” Killua asked with a teasing smirk. His previous gloomy demeanor gone.

“I bet they're interested in Kite~” Gon added with a sly grin of his own.

You couldn't stop the heat spreading across your face. Earning giggles from the two boys in front of you.

“Oh no. You two aren't gonna start this up again. We're in public.” But despite your warning, they continued teasing you.

“Bet you wanted your first date to be with him!” Gon said before dodging the weight you threw.

“Bet you want your first kiss to be with him!” Killua laughed out, jumping over the 50ibs weight you flung at him.

“Shut up you demons!”

But before you could chase them down, Gon's phone started ringing. The lightheartedness from the atmosphere being replaced by a more serious one.

He quickly put it on speaker before answering.

“Yeah, hello?”

“It's Knuckle,” the voice on the other end sounded.

“We've located and secured Kite.”

Those words alone lifted every burden from your shoulders.

He was alive.

You wanted to cry with relief. All this time wondering if he was okay. If he somehow managed to make it out with his life. Your body anxiously awaiting your order to run after him. To see him.

But once again your instincts said otherwise. Not to get ahead of yourself just yet.

“Really? So Kite is okay then? Gon asked. But Knuckle went silent.

“You still there?” He tried again.

A few more seconds of silence before the ball finally dropped.

“...I have reason to believe that Kite is being controlled by the enemy.”

So Pitou had won after all. Yet you still foolishly hung onto the hope that there was something you could do to help. To resist and overcome their control.

You wouldn't find out until tomorrow that you were dead wrong.

“So I'd like to tell you he's okay, but I can't.” Knuckle concluded. Being as transparent as he could knowing how much Kite meant to Gon.

But his honesty didn't deter the boy in green. Not in the slightest.

“Don't worry, I'm sure there's some way we can bring him back.”

Knuckle left Gon with the information that it would take three days for everyone to get here. And that all three of you should be careful with the outpour of soldier ants trying to imitate their king. Without the queen, they decided to take whatever power they could for themselves.

Gon assured him he would before hanging up. Letting all the information soak in. And then…

“ALL RIGHT!” He cheered.

Turning to you and Killua with a bright grin on his face.

“I knew that Kite was still alive!”

You wanted to share in his enthusiasm, but you knew better. Things never worked out the way you wanted to. The nagging feeling in your stomach reminding you.

Warning you something wasn't right.

—----------------------

“Girls like flowers, right?” You asked, eyeing a small boutique.

“You're really taking this whole date thing seriously, aren't you?” Killua noted.

“Kinda have to. I don't want her to try and stab us. So, uh, about the flowers?” You didn't have a plan whatsoever. Everything you knew about romance was surely outdated.

And you were sure chivalry might've been too old-fashioned to try. You thought about cursing your younger self for hanging around so many old people, but then you remembered why you did it.

You and your endeavors to attain anything sweet. It was also because you much rather preferred their company over your loudmouthed peers.

“You should get her roses. Lots of girls think it's romantic,” Gon answered.

“Thank you my little ladies man.” You ruffled his hair before once again catching sight of the purple cat over his shoulder.

“I've been meaning to ask you, what's that thing hanging around you.” You pointed at the creature you could only assume was made of nen.

“Oh that. It's part of Knuckle’s ability. He called it APR, and this thing means I've gone bankrupt.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion.

“Bankrupt?”

“It means he can't use his nen for an entire month,” Killua explained.

Ah, so that was why his aura was so faint. But it didn't exactly explain why Killua was so upset. His mood once again decreasing.

“I'd tell you that's unfortunate, but if anything it's gonna make your training a lot easier.” You eyed the prices of the roses and scowled. God you were poor.

“Really!?!” Gon exclaimed, looking up at you with pure excitement.

“Definitely. You gotta work on your physical skills before you can focus on nen…. But if you want that thing gone, just tell me.”

You quickly put back the bouquet you were looking at, only for Killua to pull it back out and slap some money on the counter. You gave him an incredulous look that he decided to brush off.

“You can get rid of it?” Gon asked.

“More like sever the bond between it and you. It just depends on the type of curse. Something following you is easy to get rid of. But a condition with a consequence I can't do. Remember Genthru?”

You made a promise to pay Killua back for the flowers. It was quite frankly pathetic to be accepting money from a child. To be unable to afford anything and rely on someone else to take care of it. You were the one supposed to be taking care of him. Not vice versa. Maybe you should start looking for work after this ant business was finished.

“Yeah…I think I'm gonna keep the curse though. It'll make me stronger.”

“Atta boy….So how do we feel about serenading?”

—-----------------------

You laid down comfortably on a couch you don't remember being here before you left. You were grateful for it nevertheless. The TV playing a report of a chimera ant incident that happened earlier in the day.

A cheetah ant to be exact.

What was it with cat chimera ants and being the absolute worst?

You'd kick its ass if you ever saw it in person. ‘Bring someone faster.’ It wanted fast? It'd get more than fast.

Right now Gon was taking a shower. Then Killua. And finally you. You really needed one. It'd been so long since you had a proper bath. You couldn't wait to scrub away all the grime you accumulated last month.

You couldn't wait to sleep either. A good rest before forcing yourself into the most uncomfortable situation of your life. Which reminded you, your poor room was still trashed.

“Might as well,” you mumbled. You didn't feel like going in there and still feeling Palm's dark presence. Instead, you conjured up your nen in your palm and made a small figure.

Within a few seconds, a little jester marionette materialized.

“Henry, go clean my room.” You commanded.

The puppet gave a salute before trotting away. Strings of nen attaching from itself to you.

Killua watched the entire ordeal go down. You'd never done that before. Was this something else you had once again hidden from them? Another secret that wasn't to be questioned?

Would you be mad if he asked?

He wasn't sure how to act around you anymore. Afraid if he said the wrong thing you'd leave again. It was getting harder and harder to let himself be comfortable. Not wanting the safety you provided to be yanked away like nothing.

He was sure he loved you with his whole heart.

But what if he confided in you about what happened, only for you to vanish. To show vulnerability only to be left even more hurt.

‘One day, you'll leave Gon behind to die and Y/n won't be there to save him. You'll end up hurting both of them.’

‘You must stay out of Gon's life if you're unable to beat Shoot. Then you'll have to explain to Y/n that you're nothing but a coward. You think they'll still be proud of you after that?’

He was trying so hard not to break down. To run into your arms and seek out your reassurance. But…

But you left him.

When they both needed you the most, you left.

“You've been eerily quiet today. It's unlike you,” you tried to jest. Your voice snapping him from his thoughts.

“I’m just tired.”

You frowned at his dismissive response. You knew he was lying, but you also knew if you brought it up, he'd only become more closed off.

You got up and approached until you were standing right in front of him.

“Killua, be honest with me. What happened?”

His name. You must've been serious. You must've been worried. You wouldn't be worried anymore if you knew the truth.

“Nothing.”

Your patience, your kindness, your love. He couldn't give into it. You'd say something comforting and then you'd leave. But it was okay. He was gonna be the one to leave soon anyways, so he wouldn't live to see it happen.

“It was obviously something if it's affecting you this much. You know you can tell me anything right?”

A hand on his shoulder and a reassuring squeeze. That was all it took for his resolve to break.

“I-”

But right before he spilled everything, the bathroom door opened. Gon exiting with his hair unusually floppy.

“Alright, it's all yours Killua.”

Killua spared a look back at you and knew this conversation was far from over. He rushed into the bathroom before you could question him further. Turning on the water just in time to hear you tell Gon he looked like a wet dog.

You two would be just fine without him.

You always liked Gon better anyways.

—-------------

You had a good hour before your date with Palm, resulting in a very chaotic morning. Brushing your teeth vigorously and making sure you smelled half decent. Trying to make yourself presentable only to realize the suit you got yesterday was still at the tailors.

Well, more like the dress shirt and pants you got yesterday. But that was besides the point. You'd heard it was favorable to dress nicely for dates. Something formal usually being the way to go. More advice that was probably outdated.

You were trying your best, that had to count for something right?

If you went out right now, you'd be all sweaty when you met up with Palm. An alternative idea struck you. One that gave you the opportunity to talk to Killua in private about what happened.

“Hey, munchkin. Could you do me a favor and grab my suit for me? I know it's last minute but-”

“I don't mind. It's the least I could do for getting you into this mess.” Gon reassured.

You gave his head a pat before sending him on his way. Making sure to tell him to be careful. You didn't want to send him away, but you needed to get to the bottom of what was wrong with Killua. You had a feeling he wouldn't spill as long as Gon was there.

Maybe it had something to do with him?

You hoped not. For as long as you'd known the duo, they'd always been close. Maybe something was jeopardizing that. It made the most sense anyway.

You exited the bathroom to see Killua glancing anxiously at the door. As if willing Gon to come back. Maybe the issue was you? You don't know why the thought stung as much as it did. You took a minute to gather your thoughts before speaking.

“I'm not gonna force you to talk about what happened while I was gone if you're not ready. But whatever it is, I can see that it's affecting you. You're not laughing and joking around with Gon. You're not giving out your usual remarks. You're not being you. I won't force you, but I'll be right here ready to listen when you're ready. If you're ready.”

There you go again, making promises he knew you wouldn't keep. It felt genuine. Like you really did care, because if you didn't, you wouldn't have noticed the change in his behavior at all. He was sure he wasn't acting all that different. Gon hadn't brought it up, if he did notice.

But you'd always been able to see everything with those eyes of yours.

And Killua was once again on the verge of spilling everything. Fighting with himself to believe everything would be okay if he just told you what was going on. Before he knew it, he verbalized his doubts.

“You're here now, but how much longer until you're gone again? How can I trust you with my secrets when you won't even trust us with yours?” But they were the wrong ones.

And he knew immediately when your face went blank. Expressionless while you came up with a response. It was too late to take it back, but maybe a part of him didn't want to.

You'd tricked him. You'd pretended you were happy and then left in the middle of the night. They needed you. He needed you. If you'd just stayed, maybe Bisky wouldn't have gotten in his head. He wouldn't have felt so helpless that entire month. He wouldn't have to leave you and Gon forever.

“It's not that simple.” You started. For the first time, a look of regret in your eyes. Uncertainty.

“I wish I could tell you everything. Why I'm the way I am and why I've done the things I've done. But it's best I don't. I wish I could promise you I'd stop leaving, too. But I just can't.” You couldn't risk either one of their safeties. Of getting them involved with your own twisted affairs.

But all your deflection did was make Killua frustrated. Every damn time he wanted an answer, it was like walking on eggshells around you. You didn't trust him. You didn't trust either of them.

Was it because they were kids?

Was it because you didn't like them anymore?

Or were you just fed up with dealing with them?

His thoughts starting to spiral into something meaner. Something that wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt him when he woke up and you weren't there. Leaving with a note and a ‘good luck.’

It was your fault. If you'd just stayed, none of this would've happened. Gon wouldn't have lost his nen, and Killua wouldn't have to stay out of his life. If they'd never met you, he wouldn't be as soft as he was now.

‘That’s not true,’ a voice argued. But right now he wanted to blame someone for everything that's happened. You who was supposed to be there for him.

What you were trying to do now.

Well, it was too little too late for that.

“Why do you keep leaving? Why can't you just stay for once? Are we really that horrible that you can't stand being near us?” Killua was glaring at you now. Hurt evident in his eyes.

You knew they would eventually get fed up with you…but you didn't expect it this soon. You were the furthest thing from being prepared to handle this conversation. And it showed.

“What? Of course not. Where's all this coming from?” You questioned.

But Killua ignored it, not giving you the chance to change the subject.

“Then why!?! Why do you keep running away!?! Answer me! Do you even care about what we've been through this past month!?! How much we needed you!?!?” He couldn't stop the accusations from flowing out of his mouth. Too frustrated and angry to even try.

Taking everything he'd been bottling up out on you because there was no one else he could blame.

“Losing time and time again! Not being strong enough! Not being fast enough! Not being good enough! All the while wondering if you were okay! Where were you when Bisky was belittling me!?!? WHEN I NEEDED YOU!!!” His scream seemed to echo off the walls. Nothing but grief and hurt consumed his aura.

As if your absence was a betrayal of trust.

There were so many things you could've said. That you wanted to say. So many issues you could've addressed. So many worries you should've quelled. But you could feel yourself shutting down, mind choosing to focus on the wrong thing. The only one that didn't force you to take accountability. The one that was someone else's fault entirely. The one that you could fix.

“What do mean ‘belittling’? What did she say to you?”

Because your top priority would always be protecting them. Even if they ended up hating you for it.

But to Killua, it felt like you didn't give a damn at all. Your response after being told he needed you was to ask about Bisky? To once again try to change the subject? You didn't even try to comfort him.

You weren't trying, so why should he?

“It's none of your business.” It was quiet. Cold. Reminiscent of your own tone when you were mad.

The harshness temporarily caught you off guard. You don't think either of them had ever snapped at you before. But you couldn't let it deter you, not when you were finally getting to the root of the problem.

You knew Bisky had a habit of being cruel. Tough love was a better way to put it. And whereas you liked that about her back then, something about it now didn't feel right. Perhaps it was because you weren't as close to boys as you were now.

You weren't one to place blame, but whatever she said had pushed Killua too far. It made him insecure and distant. And if you just knew what exactly it was, you'd be able to help. To get rid of the issue and move past it.

So you moved closer, taking a small step forward. Trying to close the ever growing distance. You'd been through this song and dance before with your own sister. If you pushed any harder, he'd get upset. If you let it be, he'd resent you.

You'd rather have him yell at you for being a terrible person than have him suffer in silence.

“What did she say?” You tried again, voice softer. Another step forward.

But all you received in return was a glare before he was pushing past you. You should've let him. You should've given him the option to cool down. But you weren't thinking rationally right now. Too caught up in what the hell was said to this kid to make him act this way.

You. You and your absence.

“We're not done here.” You stopped him with a grab on his wrist. He flinched at your touch. Like you were gonna hit him. But the reaction happened too fast for you to catch.

“I didn't want to have to do this. I'm calling in my favor from Greed Island. Tell me what she said right now.”

His eyes widened, staring at you in disbelief. You said you wouldn't force him to talk about it, and here you were.

Liar.

Why? Why were you trying so hard to find out what Bisky said? Why did that matter more to you than him? Why was that the only thing you were focused on???

Why were you still pretending like you cared.

“You wanna know what she said so badly?” He couldn't stop the tears pinpricking his eyes. He couldn't disguise the hurt and anguish in his voice. But maybe he wanted you to know how much this affected him. To see exactly what was indeed your fault.

“SHE SAID THAT I WAS WEAK! THAT I WAS A COWARD! THAT ALL I'M DOING IS HOLDING GON BACK! SHE SAID IF I DIDN'T WIN I'D HAVE TO STAY OUT OF YOUR LIVES!!! DON'T YOU GET IT!?! SHE SAID I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH!”

Your heart aches for him then. It all made sense now. The grief whenever he was around Gon. The sadness, the dark suffocating feeling of depression.

You wished you could've been faster at saying something. Of speaking words that would quell every worry. But it felt like you were stuck.

Because right now…all you could see was her.

Your sister who'd been taken far too soon from this world. The one who never really fit in with the rest of your clan. Who was different because to the rest of your people, she hadn't been good enough.

Who'd been told by the head of the clan that she was holding you back. That she was a burden.

It wasn't the exact same, but it felt familiar. You knew the effects of being told ‘you're no good.’ How it made someone doubtful of their own feelings and actions. Whether or not they deserved to have what they did.

You knew the right words to say, but they were stuck in your throat. You were used to seeing her eyes, but you were far from ready to see her fears as well.

It was too late when you finally found your voice again.

“Killua, you know that's not true. You are-” more than enough. But you never got the chance to finish. Perhaps if you'd been faster, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.

“STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU CARE! IF YOU CARED YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ABANDONED US! WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY GONE THIS TIME!”

He didn't mean it. He could never mean that. Wanting to take the words back once they were spoken. But once again, it was too late.

You could take a lot. You had taken a lot. You could handle being yelled at. You could handle it when you were called a disgrace. A brat. A horrible person. A bitch, and so much more.

You could handle being hit. Being stabbed. Shot at. If you tried hard enough, being around blood.

You could put up with just about anything if it involved someone you cared about.

But what you couldn't handle was having your actions called into question. You knew when you were wrong. When you made a mistake. When you were being disingenuous. You knew you weren't a good person, but to be told you were pretending just because Killua was upset….

Accusing you of not caring?

After everything.

Everything you'd done, every decision you'd made since Greed Island was because you did care. You were willing to die. You were willing to break your promise to someone who had been your world.

It made you upset.

You were tired of it always being your fault. You were tired of being the one who always had to fix everything.

Why were you even here?

Because they'd both inserted themselves into your life. You didn't ask for this. To carry every burden they had. To be a scapegoat everytime something went wrong.

You'd been living for yourself. Surviving. And you were doing just fine. You were safe.

And now you were here. Risking your own neck for a kid who was blaming you for not being strong enough. Blaming you for his failures.

You were frustrated and angry. Tired and drained. If you had to guess why your patience wore down so easily, you'd say it must've been the stress. From the previous month or from Palm, you couldn't say. Maybe it had to do with having a screaming match this early in the morning, too. But whatever it was, you finally snapped.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!?! I'M TRYING, I AM TRYING MY DAMN BEST BUT I CAN'T JUST FIX EVERYTHING! SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO!?! TELL ME! SINCE YOU'RE SO KEEN ON POINTING OUT EVERYTHING THAT I’M DOING WRONG!”

You'd never yelled at either of them before. You'd never gotten this mad. And the sight was frightening. Killua never expected to be on the receiving end of your anger. He never thought he could. But he'd pushed you to your limit.

Then you said something that cut deep. That broke his heart entirely and shattered it. He'd started this, deciding to take out everything on you even though it wasn't your fault. But you'd be the one to finish it.

“I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING MOM AND I'M NOT YOUR DAD! SO STOP TRYING TO FORCE EVERYTHING ON ME LIKE I AM! YOU THINK I WANTED TO BE STUCK WITH YOU!?!?”

You shouldn't have said that. You really shouldn't have. Regretting the words as soon as they left your lips. It didn't matter how frustrated you were, you shouldn't have lost your cool with him. He was just a kid. One who hadn't been able to learn how to deal with his emotions. Who'd been denied the chance to.

“I didn't m-”

“I hate you.” He cut off.

Words you thought you'd never hear again. Spoken with so much venom it hurt. How could this be happening to you again? Why?

"I hate you.”

"You don't mean that." Your voice was pleading.

"I hate you. Just go away. Run away to Reik like you always do. You love him more than me anyways."

What did you do to deserve this again? Thirteen years later and you still didn't know how to handle it. But you said you'd be okay with them hating you as long as they were safe. You thought you could handle that.

But you could feel yourself breathing faster. Shaking with an unfamiliar feeling. Desperation? You tried to approach him again, but he seemed to recoil from your being.

Killua was right. You didn't love him. It was all an act. Everything was all an act. How foolish could he have been to think you actually cared about him.

But you'd promised. You promised to be there.

He made a dash for the restroom, trying to wipe his eyes as he shut the door. You were supposed to be different. You weren't supposed to shout at him like his mother. Fight with him like Milluki. Hurt him like Illumi. But you were just like his family. Using him for your own personal gain. Or had it all just been amusing to you?

All he had left was Gon.

But maybe he was using him too.

“Killua, unlock the door.”

He startled at the sound of the knob twisting. Knowing very well you could break down the door if you wanted to. Why couldn't you just leave him alone?

You didn't want to be stuck with him, after all.

“Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just…This morning has been a lot. Everything's been a lot. Please, just let me explain. Talk to me.”

You sounded defeated. And a part of him wasn't satisfied with that. He wanted you to feel just as hurt as he was. He was used to arguing without boundaries. To saying whatever would get the other person the worst. And right now, he wanted to make you cry just as badly as you were making him.

“I hate you. And after we deal with the ants, I never want to see you again. You can stay with your boy toy for all I care. Just stay out of my life.”

He was making things worse. But he couldn't stop.

“You don't mean that.”

“You're right…I want you to stay away from both of us. You can't even fight anyways. You'd just continue to be a burden.”

Now that, he knew that would get you the most. You'd always tried to compensate for your fighting by using your tracking ability. You'd always pushed yourself to keep up. You did everything you could so you wouldn't hold them back.

But he didn't know it was too far. That it was the last straw.

'If you can't hold your own weight, then you serve no purpose.'

'You don't want to be weak and pathetic like Kari, do you?'

'There is no bigger burden to the clan than someone who jeopardizes their mission. You should understand, little one. Your strength is a gift. Don't weigh it down with your fears.'

A burden huh?

When were you ever not trying to be one?

You were a coward too.

You'd had enough. You were done trying. You didn't have it in you to keep fighting.

You were wrong, he wasn't anything like her.

Kari never blamed you. She never told you it was your fault. In fact, she told you the opposite. That she was the one holding you back. That you were this untouchable star who shouldn't be dimmed by someone like her.

And in that moment, if someone would have given you the choice between her or them... You would have chosen her. Because while she wasn't strong, while she wasn't the fastest, while she couldn't use nen for the life of her… She was enough. Her love was certain and warm. If you asked her what was wrong, she'd tell you.

She wouldn't have called you a burden.

He wanted you gone? Then you would leave. You were so tired of caring. Of giving everything and receiving nothing.

“... You got it. You won't have to worry about seeing me again after today.”

You walked away. Unable to hear the muffled sniffles through the door. Coming from someone who realized this was a very big mistake. Who wanted to take everything back.

You sat down on your bed, giving one drained sigh. When did your life become so complicated? Your day had just started and already you were on edge.

You'd been in arguments before. You'd been told you were hated before.

You would be just fine. You just had to figure things out.

Where would you go when the day was over?

The answer was simple. You'd go back to your clan…And then you'd be executed for being a traitor.

You were tired. Tired of everything. Tired of putting so much effort into surviving. Maybe you could plead your case?

'I don't care what you choose to do with me, but honor your former clansmen’s last wish, will ya? Kill some ants for me and make sure my friends are okay.’

Reik would honor it, if you got the chance to speak. He wasn't so cruel that he'd kill you immediately. Everything would be taken care of. And maybe you'd be able to rest in peace.

Yeah.

That sounded like a good plan.

You'd go on this stupid date and leave.

But what about your promise? The one that you even bothered living for in the first place. You couldn't keep it if you were….

You didn't believe in a higher power. Not after everything that you've witnessed in this life. However, you wanted to believe there was something after. That she was waiting for you. Though you knew you'd both end up in completely different places.

You didn't believe in ghost or demons. No, not really. But right now, you wanted to believe she'd listen when you talked. The only person you could confide in wasn't here, but somehow you hoped she'd hear you.

You had nobody else. Speaking into the abyss and praying somehow you'd feel better.

“I'm sorry I couldn't continue on for the both of us…But I'm so damn tired of trying. I've never been the best with people, and you know that.” you and her were alike in that way.

“I'm just….a disgrace…no matter what I do.”

You didn't even notice the tears sliding down your cheeks. You couldn't feel them.

“Hell, I developed a new ability just for it to go to waste. It's almost laughable how even when I'm trying my best, I'm still a failure.” Pathetic. Weak.

You placed a hand on your forehead as you remembered something.

“I never got to do all those things we wanted. Everything we said we would do when we were free. How about this…I'll give today my all. One good day for you. Of pretending to be who I used to.”

You were sure if anyone walked in on you right now, they'd think you were crazy. Yet you continued to talk. Self-loathing and having a pity party for yourself.

You never did deserve to be upset.

“Remember I used to smile a lot? I used to talk everyone's ear off, too. And fight. I never could stay out of those. It'll be like old times. I'll make a real effort before…. Before I come see you.” And the promise of seeing her face again, her mess of curls and honey colored eyes, it was enough incentive to go through with it.

So you finally shut down. Body operating on autopilot.

—--------------------—------

Fun Fact #15: In terms of power, Y/n (without holding back/with proper focus) ranks about as strong as one of the royal guards. But with their current limitations is only about as strong as Morel. Maybe Illumi (Even though he absolutely sucks 👎)

MASTERLIST

Tags: @fandomhoe101 @justxiao @bekataylorgriggs @zellwa

An: Cutting this off here so I can hopefully make a Christmas special. To give at least a little bit of fluff because the chapters???? They don't get happier 💀. Well maybe a little. I don't know, we'll see how much I decide to traumatize y'all in the upcoming chapters. And if you thought the fight with Killua was bad, the one with Gon I have planned is just pure sadness. Sorry I've been neglecting you, I wanted to vary my content a bit. That and huger chapters like this take a lot of my brain power to do.

[noelianoe1]

Amanda Headcanons!

(I want to make the headcanons too )

Amanda, when she saw Wooly alive, couldn't handle her thoughts well and choked him in the form of "how dare you appear after so long", she would have preferred that if he had appeared it was at least the next day and not after, I don't know, like three days? (like Jesus Lol)

Amanda still keeps Wooly's dead skin somewhere (I hope Wooly finds it soon)

Wooly doesn't like eating sheep stuff, but he does it anyway because he can't help it.

Wooly and Amanda used to have bunk beds but Amanda wanted her own space so she made herself a room and who knows where Wooly sleeps now

Wooly plucks his own wool on the sly, not that I think Amanda cares, but he does it anyway

Amanda at one point regrets killing Wooly, but she will never admit it.

Wooly is a compulsive eater, and even more so when no one is watching, it is his way of having control over something, although it is contradictory.

Wooly doesn't know how to cook, so if Amanda decides she's not going to cook him anything he usually eats things raw.

Wooly gave the rubber rooster to Amanda long before the events of the game, probably near the beginning, and when Amanda died she got rid of it in a way that she wanted to completely forget about Wooly.

Amanda represents the sun and Wooly the moon. ( Like Princess Celestia and princess Moon)

Wooly is physically equal to or stronger than Amanda (I say this because of the penultimate five of game 1 where he sees that he is fighting for his life and Amanda cannot make him retreat any further) but he does not show it because of his cowardice.

Amanda usually gets along well with Wooly when we're not watching since she doesn't have to focus on us, although if they do fight, they usually hang out

Amanda really liked the sheep meat (well, it ran out too quickly I'd say)

Their behavior is different when we are not looking and we will never know what they are like.

[not-goldy]

Letter lyrics hitting me hard in the face right now & make even more sense now. "Don't worry, just stay by my side. We don’t know what the future holds. And that’s scary and makes us afraid, But don’t forget that we’re always together." Jikook have probably had this enlistment together thought out for a long time. They're scared, but they know they have each other, even in their darkest days. My blood pressure cannot handle this.

Jikook would rather serve together, endure all the challenges & all the risks, then to be without EO. I don't have words, honestly. The first few weeks of training are the hardest. The training & adjustment to military life/schedule. It takes a toll on you mentally & Jikook chose EO to go through it with. They had options to do alone or even do with Tae, both of them did, but they chose EO. They did it to rely on EO for comfort And shippers who are mad, wanna downplay their decision & make excuses cause its not your ship that you were begging to enlist together. Sorry You can't. No excuses this time. If this is true & it really does happen I think a lot of people will slowly open their eyes to Jikook. This isn't something small, its a big life decision they made together, to be together, to serve together, even if its only for the first few weeks in the beginning (which are the hardest). They wanna get through the hard time together. Its either gonna break them having to watch each other go through all that horrendous stuff both mentally and physically or its gonna make them stronger or both. Jk's biggest challenge will be trying to not intervene. We see how Jk flinches if JM jumps up and sometimes jumps up with him on instinct. Resisting the urge to take over for JM if something is too hard, something Jk has done for years, but they'll get through it. They're professionals & knows the other can handle themselves.

Also, saying Jkk are making this out to be a honeymoon. FUCK YOU. This is what y'all were doing for months about your own ship and wanting them to enlist. Vmin shippers, minimoni shippers, Tkk & YM shippers. Wanna see the receipts, cause I got them. Actually, we crying, throwing up and fucking terrified for Jikook, even if they do go together. Unlike you all, we support two queer men who are going into an extremely homophobic environment with an already target on their back. Shame on you for not even mustering up enough love in your heart to support them the way deserve. You will be the ones to burn and rot and hell, not us. Your souls will never see heaven. I promise you. Just know Jikook's love, whatever type of love it is, outweighs your hate and there is nothing you can do about it.

Listen.... you are talking bout Jimin's lyrics.

This is Jungkook:

we'll survive the test of time

They can't deny our love

They can't divide us, we'll survive the test of time

I promise I'll be right here

Standing next to you

Standing in the fire next to you, oh

You know it's deeper than the rain

It's deeper than the pain

When it's deep like DNA

Something they can't take away, ayy

Take-take-take-take-take-take off

golden like the sun and the moon (you already know)

YES JUNGKOOK WE KNOW KILL US WITH THE SHIP STREET PARLANCE 💜 FINISH US MORTAL KOMBAT STYLE

HOLD MY WIG ANON

You don started something

Now I gotta cook. Hold on

[klarolinexluv]

Labyrinth by Taylor Swift, Wolfstar / Jegulus breakdown (Part 1)

inspired by @star-and-moon-shipper

“It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus thinking that Sirius would never feel the same way about himself that he feels about him.

But it’s Remus after Sirius tells Snape about the Whomping Willow.

But it’s Remus forgiving Sirius even though his betrays still hurts.

But it’s Remus when Sirius thinks him the spy. But it’s Remus when Sirius is thrown into Azkaban and is labeled the traitor.

But it’s Remus spending 12 years homeless, alone, hurt and betrayed by the only person he was in love with.

But it’s Remus feeling guilty that he didn’t believe Sirius was innocent until the proof was right in front of him.

But it’s Remus helping Sirius through nightmares of Azkaban, of war, of his childhood, etc, just like he did when they were kids.

But it’s Remus when he gets Sirius to laugh for the first time in 14 years.

But it’s Remus when he has to watch Sirius be killed, has to stop Harry from doing something reckless, has to push everything he feels aside to focus on protecting Harry (as he should tbh).

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus thinking that he could never be loved by someone like James.

But it’s Regulus knowing that he and James could never work out.

But it’s Regulus taking the dark mark and joining the death eaters, betraying James to ‘protect’ him

But it’s Regulus pretending he doesn’t care when he shows James what he did.

But it’s Regulus when he walks away from James for the last time, leaving no room for doubt that they are over.

But it’s Regulus when he has to pretend that he doesn’t feel anything when he sees James move on with Lily.

But it’s Regulus fighting on the opposite side of a war to the love of his life.

But it’s Regulus, fighting his entire life and never stopping, fighting even when he discovered Voldemorts secret, fighting until it kills him.

“Breathe in, breathe through

Breathe deep, breathe out

I’ll be getting over you my whole life”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, after the prank.

But it’s Remus, after the war.

But it’s Remus, after Sirius’ death.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, when he realises he will betray James.

But it’s Regulus, when he takes the mark.

But it’s Regulus, when he shows James his dark mark, James begging him, telling him he forgives him, Regulus walking away for the last time, leaving no doubts that they are over.

But it’s Regulus, fighting on the opposite side of the war, fighting against the love of his life.

But it’s Regulus, thinking of James, standing in the sun for the last time before marching to his death.

“You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can’t last”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, and how quickly he falls in love with Sirius the first time.

But it’s Remus, falling harder and faster for Sirius the second time, after the prank.

But it’s Remus, falling again for Sirius when he sees him for the first time in 12 years.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, scared to love but falling terribly for James the moment James decided to try and be his friend, the moment James smiles at him like he was important.

But it’s Regulus, getting swept away in everything, their relationship moving fast and quick and breaking just as easily.

“Uh oh, I’m falling in love”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, realising for the first time that his feelings for Sirius are more than just platonic.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, realising his feelings for James are stronger than just physical attraction.

“Oh no, I’m falling in love again”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, forgiving Sirius after the prank and coming to find that he fell for him all over again.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, realising that he is in a lot deeper than he ever imagined he could be (he isn’t sure he likes it).

“Oh, I’m falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How’d you turn it right around”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, realising he has fallen hard and fast for Sirius all over again even after 12 years of pain and separation.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, watching James break apart in front of him, begging him to not do this to him, forgiving him even.

But it’s Regulus, seeing James on the battle field and knowing that his feelings haven’t changed.

But it’s Regulus, seeing James physically hesitate when he sees Regulus.

But it’s Regulus, writing James a letter before he goes to the cave that he never sends.

“It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, fighting with Sirius for the first time after the prank.

But it’s Remus, November 1st reading the daily prophet to find out that Sirius was the traitor.

But it’s Remus, the day after Sirius death, sitting in silence in Grimmauld Place, staring blankly at the wall.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, locking himself in abandoned classrooms to cry after breaking up with James.

But it’s Regulus, pretending to be fine because nobody knew about him and James, pretending to be unbothered, pretending that nothing happened whilst dying inside.

“Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, going through the five stages of grief after the prank only for Sirius to continue to try and make him smile.

But it’s Remus, unable to stop himself from laughing at Sirius jokes just as he has always done.

But it’s Remus, going through the five stages of grief when Sirius was sentenced to Azkaban and staring at a photo of Sirius and James cackling together with himself in the background smiling at them fondly.

But it’s Remus, happy that Sirius is happy after escaping Azkaban.

But it’s Remus, going through the five stages of grief when Sirius dies, begging to some god he doesn’t believe in to bring him back just so he can laugh at one of Sirius’ jokes one more time.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, going through of that shit at home only to come back to Hogwarts and have James cheer him up in the only way James can.

But it’s Regulus, grieving a relationship that isn’t even over yet and smiling at James because James doesn’t know that this will end.

But it’s Regulus, grieving a relationship he knew was always going to end this way and wishing he could just talk to James and feel something other than hurt and pain and loss (he doesn’t though, he wouldn’t dare do that).

But it’s Regulus, seeing James happy, making Lily laugh just how James used to make him laugh.

“You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back

Just like that”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, thinking of Sirius after the prank.

But it’s Remus, thinking of Sirius after the first war.

But it’s Remus, thinking of Sirius after his death and seeking comfort in Tonks.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, putting on a brave face after coming back to Hogwarts after the worst holiday at home and just wanting to see James.

But it’s Regulus, putting on a brave face after waking away from James after showing him the dark mark.

But it’s Regulus, putting on a brave face as he walks to his death, as he betrays his master.

Thank you.

part 2

marauders as Taylor Swift lyrics: prev || first

[sunstaiined]

JOSEPHINE KATZ. pinterest. playlist. threads. main.

STATS.

FULL NAME. josephine "JO" katz AGE. thirty-nine BIRTHDAY / ZODIAC. january 18th, capricorn sun, scorpio moon, virgo rising GENDER / PRONOUNS. cis woman, she/her SEXUAL ORIENTATION. unlabeled -- queer PLACE OF BIRTH. afterglow compound CURRENT RESIDENCE. burnington STATUS. widowed FACTION. treasurer for the jackals mc OCCUPATION. manager for the mad scientist

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVES. calculating, intuitive, quick-witted, adaptive, pragmatic, resolute, charming, maternal NEGATIVES. cynical, judgmental, guarded, resentful, finicky, controlling, obstinate, hedonistic MBTI. intj ENNEAGRAM. type six "the loyalist" MORAL ALIGNMENT. true neutral CHARACTER INSPO. claire randall (outlander), leia organa (star wars), peggy carter (mcu), nancy wheeler (stranger things), rachel menken (mad men), rachel amber (life is strange), amy dunne (gone girl), alicent hightower (hotd)

BIOGRAPHY. TW: death, child loss

I. Before you were a treasurer, you were a wife. Before you were a wife, you were just a girl; a wild, carefree, good-spirited girl. What you possess is the poise and scheming calculation that can only come from a politician’s daughter. Some might think you’d have followed in his footsteps, your father, a former civic councilman in the East Atlantic Governance, polished and merciless behind closed doors. You learned young how the game is played — how appearances are armor, and silence is a weapon sharper than any blade, how corrupt some things are and always would be, how to be the kind of woman who smiled when she was supposed to, who nodded and listened and made the men around her feel like kings. You figured out how to laugh at the right time, cry when you had to, and lie without blinking. You made yourself likable and approachable, harmless. Hence — you never wanted power. You were born too close to it to be fooled by its shine.

II. Something in you always pulled toward chaos. Maybe it was rebellion, maybe it was hunger, maybe just the quiet thrill of choosing your own downfall. You drank too much, laughed too loud, kissed boys and girls you shouldn’t have, wild and bright and foolish, the kind of girl who seemed built to burn. When you met RORY WALSH, a reckless Shamrocks soldier with too much charm and not nearly enough brains, you knew you didn’t love him, not really. But you loved what he offered: danger, heat, something unscripted. And when you married him, you thought you were choosing freedom, but really, you were just trading one cage for another. Slowly, you became what you always swore you wouldn’t — a woman stuck cleaning up a man’s mess.

III. You used every ounce of your father’s training: the charm, the sweet-talking, the quiet calculations behind wide eyes and soft smiles. Every time Rory stumbled, you covered for him. Being his wife meant putting out fires he started, smoothing over his fuckups, and playing dumb while you pulled strings behind the scenes. It meant smiling through broken glass and stitched-up wounds and late-night phone calls begging you to talk him out of getting himself killed. You weren’t his wife — not really. You were his alibi, his handler, his shield. Every time he got too loud, too sloppy, too blood-drunk on the taste of power, you were the one smoothing it over, calling in favors, rewriting books, apologizing for sins he was too proud to see as mistakes. You carried his weight, kept his secrets, and made him look stronger than he was. You spun lies out of thin air, pulled strings no one knew you had access to, carried the weight of his recklessness — until you couldn’t. You found out he’d been stealing from the shamrocks; he said it was for both of you and the future child growing in your stomach, to start a new life and run away, but you knew better. He didn’t have an exit plan — just a death wish with your’s and your unborn child’s names attached to it.

So, you left a trail, enough to catch the right eyes, small inconsistencies. You scrubbed your prints from the scene like you always did, and you waited, dumped what was left of your marriage in the dark. No one ever traced it back to you, but a few of them — the old ones, they suspect. They look at you a little too long now, you see the questions in their eyes, and you smile back, sweet as ever.

He was dead within the week.

IV. Pregnant and alone, you ran with survival the only thing in your head. You hid it like you hid everything — behind that perfect posture and that voice that could cut glass. You couldn't go home, that much was clear to you. You found your way to the Jackals, because you knew they’d take you, protect you if you proved your worth, even if it meant giving up everything from before, and you did. You started by keeping quiet in the background, but eventually you rebuilt yourself as the club’s treasurer — quiet, competent, ruthless with numbers and even better with people.

V. (tw: child loss) When the baby didn’t make it, you didn’t tell anyone. hell, hardly anyone knew in the first place. You carried that loss in your spine and folded it into the corners of your smile, let it harden into something sharp and permanent. Now, you live behind a thousand masks. You work at the mad scientist to pass the time between bookkeeping, keeping your head down, and making your way through. The charming smile, the calculating mind that sees everything and says nothing. You don’t take bullshit and you don’t waste time trying to climb ladders or take thrones. All you want is to survive, to never again have to stand behind a man who drags you into hell and expects you to clean the blood off the floor. You’re not angry anymore. At least, not in the way people think. No, your rage is colder now; controlled, measured. The kind of fury that waits for the right time and the right pressure, the right break in the system, like a true politician’s daughter.

HEADCANONS.

Kind of a neat freak. She spent too long without her autonomy so now she spirals when something is a little too out of place. Sometimes it’s endearing. Sometimes you really have to tell her to chill out.

Keeps a folding knife on her person at all times. It’s got carved initials in the handle — C.K., but she won’t speak of what it stands for.

Her desk is littered with notes, little reminder notes to herself, things that probably make no sense to anyone but her

Always sits facing the door, always leaves at least one light on nearby.

Years of running with the Shamrocks have their traditions and mannerisms embedded into her daily life -- she loves Irish whiskey to this day. On the flip side, she could never quite shed what was instilled into her in her girlhood -- being polite, good posture, and walking unhurriedly. She despises it and spent a long time trying to forget the polished hues of childhood but even now she slips into it without noticing.

Tries to stop smoking, replaced her cigarettes with herbal cigarettes -- she fucking hates them. Sometimes she'll bum one off of someone else, just because she misses the burn in her lungs.

Has one tattoo hidden on her leg.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. (these are stolen from the main intro bc i'm lazy)

the one you want: this would be someone who knew jo & her husband in the shamrocks. whether an ex friend (or possibly more, i’m okay with a little infidelity considering the dude is dead/npc lol) the betrayal of her leaving, or even thinking jo covered up her husband’s doings, the two are on not-so good terms now. can be plotted further. (also open to general shamrocks shenanigans) i’d let you win: a messy situationship post-leaving shamrocks, any affiliation. details can be plotted & as toxic as we want, preferably wlw. jo is hesitant to let anyone in after everything, perhaps some Lingering Feelings. shoulder you can cry on: essentially someone who took her in after going solo. whether this was the person who took her in under the jackals, or someone else who aided her when she was pregnant and alone. PREFERABLY the person that recruited her to the jackals, but could be anyone; a friend from the shamrocks who remained close or a neutral party. the two remain close to this day and jo feels as though she owes them her life. quite literally, she does. extras: gimme friends, flings, patrons of mad scientist, people in either the jackals, shamrocks, or even the east Atlantic governance that might recognize her from her father’s time on the council!!! i live for messy drama gimme it all

graphic template by devociones.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Aaaa dad!Douma seriously melted my heart. The way he spoils her 🥹🥲

It wasn’t something I realized I wanted, but omg I can’t live without it! It’s got me thinking… what would the other Upper Moons be like if they adopted their own baby demon?

Politely requesting Koku adopting demon!Muichiro please 💗✨

Hmmm! Okay! I’ll do this too! Like Kokushibo so this is no problem! Let’s hope that I can capture Kokushibo well enough!

What a interesting yet tragically sad situation this is. The one and only Mist Hashira of the Demon Slayer Corps end up being tricked and turned into a demon against his wishes. He manages to escape the slayers in no time and ends up running into the Upper Moon 1 himself, just before the sun came up

Kokushibo feels immense pity for the being in front of him. Coated in blood, wearing a shredded Demon Slayer uniform and starving as the demonic samurai decides to bring Muichiro to the infinity castle

That way. He can decide what he must do next. A Hashira turned demon have power already, combining Muichiro’s raw talent and potential, the boy was already on a Lower Moon level without eating a single human

And Kokushibo is beyond attracted to this fact. He goes against all his original thoughts as he and Muichiro arrive, and cements it that he’ll take Muichiro in and train him. He sees much potential and chance he has never seen in another demon

Kokushibo is a mixture of a teacher and a caretaker. He has Muichiro practice and practice until he can conjure his own Demon Blood Art whilst gaining strength through kills he assists with. For once in his entire demonic life, he feels such pride when he sees Muichiro produce a barrage of mist clouds from thin air

The boy’s a quicker learner than Kokushibo ever suspected. No wonder he was a Hashira before he got converted and forgot all about his human past, a especially young Hashira too

Kokushibo suspects Muichiro to be independent so he trains him, even though, he never brings him to any missions. He just wants to make sure his son student can take care of himself in combat if needed

Like a father Lion teaching his cub to hunt, the Upper Moon 1 becomes all for bringing his beloved student out occasionally to track down their next dinner together as he trains him in effective attacks and strategies with a katana

Yes, Kokushibo did manage to repair Muichiro’s destroyed Nichirin Katana for him to use as a reminder of his intense strength, and looks after it well. A demon wielding the enemy katana will show the enemies he doesn’t mess around

Kokushibo even got Muichiro a samurai outfit. He isn’t a Demon Slayer anymore, he is a powerful samurai such as himself so he’ll make sure that truth is drilled into the cloud-headed demon’s mind real firmly

He doesn’t spoil the younger demon in any form, other than food, as he sees no reason to treat Muichiro as his weaker inferior. To him, Muichiro has the biggest chance of becoming his successor and he does feel so excitement to have somebody to pass down his skills onto

It may seem less familiar and more professional but that’s solely because Kokushibo is far too reserved and stone-faced to let his emotions run wild… well, until after months of looking after Muichiro, does he begins feeling a new emotion for the younger demon, replacing the previous… Familiar love

Kokushibo takes a long while to willingly develop a further relationship with Muichiro from mere student and teacher and/or acquaintances but once he does, he is attached to him emotionally and confides to him about personal worries

Anything Kokushibo tells Muichiro is actually remembered as it goes back around for Muichiro to Kokushibo. Kokushibo gladly listens to Muichiro though, both are equally quiet so that’s perhaps why they bond so well

But at this rate, Kokushibo looks forward to return to the Infinity Castle where Muichiro awaits after a mission. He is always eager to see his future successor grow stronger and stronger each day, and he does consider getting him to battle lower slayers at times to see how far he is gone

Kokushibo does end up finding out that Muichiro is his descendant but it doesn’t really matter to him anymore, he begun viewing him as his long lost son in very little time

But, Muichiro’s insane power now makes sense to Kokushibo

Kokushibo is grateful towards past him for taking in the Hashira-turned demon in as he has made his previously monotone and repetitive life all the more interesting, till the point that he sees a real need to come back to the Infinity Castle faster. So he can talk to and care for Muichiro

Muichiro does begin viewing Kokushibo as his father after as long, if not a bit longer, and is protective of the hundred times stronger warrior. He finds the Upper Moons arguing with Kokushibo annoying and moronic with how the Upper Moon 1 is like

Unlike Douma with his beloved child, Kokushibo will, at one point, tell Muichiro everything he possibly can about the Upper Moon hierarchy and everything about the missions he must attend, why should he lie to the demon he cares intently for. It’s not like Muichiro is irrational over it ever, he actually appreciates his Sensei’s dedication

[ikamigami]

You know, I think I’d be okay with Sun being a little jealous of Solar, but of course he knows it’s not appropriate to say in front of Moon, but think about it:

Out of the whole family he and Solar were the least connected, when Solar showed up Sun sort of just disappeared to the house, he got side-lined(to use a SU term, locked in the barn)

(and no I do not count this as “recovery” because a recovery arc doesn’t COUNT if it’s offscreen, also you’re telling me that a social butterfly like Sun would gain anything from being alone in his house all day for days on end and the only time someone visits is when they need something or in the case of Puppet barges their way in uninvited? No you’d probably go crazy or at least be very lonely)

Not only that but Moon started spending a lot of time with Solar and I mean a LOT, and that in it of itself isn’t terrible, he and Solar connected a lot so of course they would, and if Sun felt left out or jealous Solar and Moon have such a strong connection and Moon prefers spending time with Solar he’s not going to say anything because that would be rude and CRUEL, and Solar never seemed to like Sun or at least never made much connection with him

Jealousy is an ugly emotion yes, but see how Sun didn’t use it as an excuse to inflict hurt? He wouldn’t dare share it because he know it wasn’t appropriate, and when processing with Jack he’s doing this alone, not in front of Moon, Lunar, or Earth, he knows it’d hurt their feelings because he’s considerate like that (MOON)

And I bet the feeling might be stronger now or he’s questioning it now that Moon made it clear he’d burn the world and claim it was for Solar, kill them all supposedly for Solar, even though it’s far from being about Solar anymore, one could be forgiven for wondering if Moon found Solar more important than all of them, since to pursue his plan he’d damage the universe, push them all away, and then by that point it’s not about Solar anymore, even if that isn’t it from the beginning it would sure feel like it

And what? Sun’s not allowed to feel an ugly emotion? Oh right, he’s not allowed to be selfish because it always backfires, because every time he’s sad people force him to smile, when he’s mad he gets “You’re no better than Eclipse” or gets locked in a box thrown in his face, “get over it”, “be happy”, “stop bothering me”, meanwhile Moon over here can verbally degrade his family, try to BBQ Earth and show no remorse for it, and shack up with Dark Sun to start building god-knows-what kind of death machines or whatever he’s doing and be fine

It may not be jealousy because he also missed Solar and it hurt seeing Moon so sad, so that could be it, but even if it is jealousy, I’m not bothered

Also to make it abundantly clear I’m not blaming Solar at all, or Moon before his fall for this, before anybody gets angry

You're absolutely right, dear anon 👏

I also think that Sun definitely felt/feels a bit jealous of Solar's relationship with Moon but like you said he thinks that it's wrong to feel this way.. and I understand that cause I felt the same way many times..

But this is exactly what also strengthen Sun's feelings about himself that he's bad because how dare he feel this way, ugly way..

But at the same time he also feels like a waste of space and that he's useless to Moon and that he's awful brother to Moon.. and these feelings only apmlified with feeling of jealousy because he's definitely a bad brother if he feels jealous..

[officialleehadan]

Eyes Met

Once Cursed

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“There’s a rumor, one of the old nobility is in the castle.”

Sorsha was helping in the gardens today, complete with a wide-brimmed hat that shaded her from the sun. Niala was beside her. The castle’s maids rotated through every position they could hold through the course of a moon. It looked random from the outside, but really it was a carefully-designed dance that made sure none of them were near Naevelon more than once or twice a month.

She was sure it was infuriating for him, and honestly, she really wasn’t terribly sympathetic to his plight. Until she was sure he wasn’t going to kill her on sight, she intended to stay hidden.

“Who is it?” she asked curiously. They carried a basket between them. It was time to harvest the peas. The morning was spent picking them. Now she and Niala were busy shelling the sweet green peas into a large bowl for Master Tassaros.  It was lazy work, seated in the fresh grass under a blooming apple tree, but they had been in the laundry all week. The light work was welcome. “Did you catch a name?”

“Only that it was a duke,” Niala said regretfully and dropped another handful of peas into the bowl. “One of the old ones.”

Hope filled Sorsha’s heart. There weren’t that many of the really old nobility left, and most died in Maeve’s massacre. Still, there were a few who hadn’t been in he castle, and one who, if he had been here, might have turned the tide in their favor.

“Can you finish the peas?” she asked with a look into their basket. They were mostly done, but there was another hour or so of work left. She didn’t doubt that Niala would be pleased for a little extra time in the gardens, but it was still polite to ask. Sorsha was careful to always ask her fellow maids. Maybe they would take her commands, but it wouldn’t be worth driving away the friends she needed so badly. “I think I need to know who it is.”

“I figured you would,” Niala said and waved her off. “Swap me your had for my head-scarf. The pale in your hair is starting to show.”

Sorsha winced. Her hair had always grown fast. Currently that was a problem, as it meant whatever they colored her hair with faded or grew out quickly and revealed the gold of her hair. She checked to make sure her tight braid was in place, and took Niala’s head scarf to hide the rest. When she was sure it was all covered, she handed over her hat.

“Good luck,” Niala said, still busy with the peas. “Come back when you’re done, we have more out here to do.”

“I will,” Sorsha promised. The work needed to be done, and for now, that meant she had to pull her weight. She would never again take the good food she ate for granted. Not now that she knew how much work it was to grow and make it. “I’ll meet you in the kitchens.”

It wasn’t far to the castle from their spot in the kitchen gardens, and Sorsha was having a good day with her curse. Her breath came easily, and she felt stronger than usual. It was a blessing on a day that she needed to be sneaking around where she ought not to be.

The castle was quiet today. The servants were all focused on their work. It was after lunch but still a while until dinner service, so there wasn’t much for anyone to do in the immediate. Sorsha paused to grab a laundry basket from the mending room on her way past. It was always better to be seen carrying something. A servant who was somewhere they weren’t supposed to be should always have a reason to be there. Collecting the mending was always a safe reason. The mending was eternal.

On through the castle she went, and stopped here and there to gather up the mending- might as well do the chore for real on her way- as she worked her way towards the noble quarters.

Even with a legitimate chore to explain her presence, Sorsha was careful to duck out of the way as soon as she heard voices, noble voices, coming towards her.

Her heart sank when it turned out not to be the duke she was seeking, whoever he was, but Naevelon and Maeve. They kept the careful distance of enemies between them. Sorsha knew by now that there was no love lost in their family. Naevelon didn’t particularly want to kill Maeve, but he would if she crossed him. Maeve, of course was vicious, and did not appreciate being ousted as queen. Still, she was unlikely to kill Naevelon outright. Not and risk their Imperial father’s wrath.

Even so, being seen by either of them was a danger she couldn’t afford.

Worse, there was nowhere to hide, and running would get their attention.

Instead, she sank into a low curtsy as they passed and kept her head down as if she was shy, which she wasn’t, or afraid, which she was.

“If you cross Duke Callum, he will kill you,” Naevelon was saying as they walked. Sorsha’s heart lifted. She knew Callum well, and trusted the old hero. She could ask for no finer ally, and he would surely be willing to help her. “He is not the harmless old man he appears and I have already sent word to Father of his presence. Do not think you can attempt to kill him and get away with it.”

“I would never,” Maeve said, a silken liar as always, but also irritated that her brother stole a march on her. Not, Sorsha thought, that Maeve could do much about Callum. He was the finest swordsman to ever live, but he was still a fine hand with magic. Fine enough to ward off most of Maeve’s tricks. He was also too old for her to simply seduce. Sorsha fought the urge to run from her tormentor. Maeve was close, too close, and she knew Sorsha’s face. “Not and risk your glorious departure from this land.”

“Do not assume you will be staying when I go,” Naevelon said sharply. He passed Sorsha almost close enough to touch. For a moment, she hoped she was safe. When the prince paused suddenly, her breath caught in her throat. “You. Girl. Look at me.”

“Your highness!”

An aged voice snapped from down the hall. Duke Callum walked into view, tottering as always, aided by his cane. Both the totter and the cane were, Sorsha knew well, illusions he could banish at will. From the sounds of things, Naevelon had figured that out as well.

For now, however, he provided the escape she hadn’t dared hope for. For a single moment, she met Callum’s eyes and received a lightning-quick wink in return.

The old hero knew exactly what he was doing, and who she was. He would come find her when he was ready.

Until then, her only job was not to be caught.

She could do that.

On silent, slippered feet, she ducked into the nearest of the noble rooms, empty for the moment and made for the servant’s passages from there.

Help had come at last.

+++

Once Cursed: (FULL COLLECTION)

Dance of Blades

Into the Underbrush (Subscriber Only!)

Behind the Walls

Changing Names (Subscriber Only!)

Fallen Down the Stairs

Stone-Faced

Careful Mending 

Old Warning (Subscriber Only!)

Old Warriors (NEW!)

Eyes Met (NEW!)

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MASTERLIST