#Moon thinking sun would be stronger than him and never kill

[ohno-the-sun]

What would it be like if Sun and Moons roles were swapped in the crime au (six of crows)

I've thought about this before, and not to be boring but honestly very little would change.

The whole concept of their relationship here is that they both started in very similar places, identical twins closer than anything, but because of one small difference they can't control, they are separated and pulled further and further apart.

So for a swap au, the main difference would probably just be that their names are swapped? Maybe to maintain some of their original personality Moon wouldn't specialize so much in explosives but instead weaponry and overall would serve a more support type role. Sunny would probably be a bit more unhinged than Moon with all the experiences they put him through.

[rainbowchaox]

Devotion Amidst Conflict: A Pissa Essay

This essay is gonna be talking about Pissa and how Squidcraft put a spotlight on the ship and dynamic. And why exactly does everyone adore them so much? The first point is that Squidcraft is purgatory 2.0 for the two of them. From first look the clear comparisons are obvious; both are very intense and competitive events.

But the main point I’m making is how Squidcraft and Purgatory mirrored each other in terms of their dynamic. In purgatory, both refused to hurt each other. Numerous times Phil commented he won’t hurt Missa. And canonically once Missa knew he was against Phil he just left. They are devoted without question to each other. The sun can’t be forced to hurt his moon and versa. Especially because Phil knows Missa like his own wings. He knows him like he knows himself. Of course he would rather die in Purgatory than risk being the one to kill Missa.

Which comes to the recent Squidcraft. Not only did Missa and Philza make it canon, their cubitos are the same as the ones on Qsmp. But this trend continues on and I even say stronger.

Absence makes the heart more protective.

Philza and Missa are again in a place where conflict is bountiful and death is plenty. Missa and Phil are both in the same conundrum where neither wants to hurt the other. How I see it though is Philza holds guilt over his point of view lack of care during purgatory. He in his view abandoned Missa. He could have tried harder. He could have been there. The two events are mirrors in my point of view. And it shows Philza's growth of care and love for Missa. And it’s key to understanding the ever growing dynamic and ship.

Philza canonized the cubitos as the same ones from Qsmp whether it’s a full on chronological continuation or some nightmare you can headcanon as you like. The fact is I’m using that as a basis of dissecting their dynamic in Squidcraft. It’s the natural progression of the cubitos relationship following QSMP.

Now let’s get into what exactly happened during Squidcraft. Phil and Missa are legit soulmates. They literally found each other first thing when they woke up! Actually meant to be! True eclipse! And that’s when we learn.

Absence really makes the love stronger.

One second in and Philza is already so protective and downright obsessed. “I follow you to the ends of the earth. He's not meant to hear that. ” Philza casually says this romantic line barely a minute after seeing Missa.

Their dynamic has shifted. Philza is way more obsessive. Also it’s very cute how Missa's habit of flirting with him in Spanish got flipped on its head. We also got a full confession!

“I wish I could tell you how much I love you and I don’t want you to see you die”.

Phil just wants to be around his Missa without any danger and to hear him laugh and bask in his presence. Many think Phil is the sun but it’s so clear to me that Missa is actually the sun. He brings light to Philzas' darkened days and he wants Missa to be safe! He doesn’t want to fail Missa any more. He wants to just be with Missa in any capacity. He is tired of waiting and of second guessing. He wants to protect his husband's smile.

There even comes a time during the day where Missa full on whimpers “If you find me you can kill me” and Bbh is like “I wasn’t planning but now I’m considering it” only for Phil to practically GROWL.

“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MISSA”

He never forgot the torture BBH inflicted on his Missa. No one can hurt his husband. Doesn’t matter if both are trapped within a death game. Missa is always off limits.

This isn’t to say it’s one-sided! Missa on his end was just as obsessive and downright possessive. Missa missed his husband so much. And he is so clingy and happy whenever he manages to find him. The two of them were on something else! They really stole the spotlight of the first day in my opinion. It was really fate that Philza first face he saw was the face of his reaper. Missa will always be someone he can trust wholeheartedly. Once Philza gives someone his heart. The person has his utmost loyalty. Missa even managed to sneak a kiss which makes me think the crow is so used to Missa presence because Missa is his safety.

BUT WELL, WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

Philza failed the one mission he did not want to fail. Missa dies. Philza thought the people around him wanted to protect the only good thing about this game of life. And Philza practically screams to the heavens. He has failed Missa again! The one moment Missa was out of his sight he bled out. He can only be angry at himself.

He should have found him. He should have tried to run to him even blinded in the dark. He should have been there for him. He screams until hoarse and until morning. His wings, his solace, and his sun. Gone. Taken. Philza sinks into a deep depression. He doesn’t want to fight anymore. He just wants Missa back by his side.

He needs Missa. His actual life has no meaning without him. The time between their reunions has made the steady flame into an ever burning fire. They are two halves of the same whole. Only complete when they are both together. And Philza knows that Missa would want him to save someone so he swears an oath to do so.

“I will whisper under my breath, ‘for you Missa’ and die”

Now onto day 2 of Squidcraft, to summarize Philza is definitely not coping without his sun. Without his Missa. Without his Reaper. Without his Wet Cat. Immediately he comes out with, wanting to die for Missa. That he has lost complete and utter motivation in this game without him. That his mission is to literally die protecting someone so he can be with Missa in hell. This comes to Philza and Phillip introduction. Both are men that Missa care a lot for and they sorta bond. They both lost a very important person to them. It’s literally only through Phillip telling him they both gotta do it for Missa. I see their dynamic as more both using the other as an emotional crutch than anything preferably more romantic leaning because of the fact they miss Missa so much.

Next on day 3 of Squidcraft, we have Phil again reiterating that his sole purpose is to die so he can join his love in hell. Which brings up the fact that Phil wants to die for Missa. While Phillip notoriously keeps mentioning they have to survive and win for Missa. Phil finds no reason to continue being in such a horrible place without the calming presence of his beloved. Phil is always his worst self without Missa to make him laugh. And Philza fully used Phillip as a way to cope with such intense and painful loss. And he failed again. He wants to die and reunite with his love. Why does he keep living when he wants to stop and see his Missa again.

At Least he has the solace that Missa will never stay dead. He is a reaper after all. He will always come back. But Phil still feels he failed him. He may come back but Philza never wants him to feel any pain if he can help it. Just because Missa can’t die doesn’t mean he can’t feel pain. And all Phil wants and desires for Missa is to be safe and happy. Hopefully with him.

Then on day 4, we have Phil fully embracing his depression even with his stream being titled “Why does everyone I love keep dying???”. I am personally taking this as Philza's inner thoughts. He didn’t want to live without his husband. And his coping mechanism died but like a phoenix from the flames, Phillip came back. In fact he said it was because of Missa.

"I saw missa, I saw him, he looked me in the eyes and said IT IS NOT YOUR TIME!"

As a reaper Missa knew it wasn’t time for Phillip to join him down there. Missa always knew Phillip and Phil would all eventually come to him. He just needed to wait. And it happens just like Missa knew it would. The Crow fell.

“It's ok chat, we'll go see missa now. We couldn't do it for missa. It's okay. We gonna go see Missa"

All he wanted was to see Missa again. And he was right there waiting for him. Just like Phillip said. Missa can be patient and if the Crow crushed him in a hug who knows. After all, “We were waiting for you Philza”.

In summary, they are devoted almost to the point of devotion. They just want to bask in each other's presence and see each other smile. Only for so long could Phil survive without his other half. And now Phil is in hell holding his love in arms. They will always come back to each other no matter what. Nothing can break them apart.

[llamaisllama777]

LAES,TSAMS,EAPS WEEKLY*/*DAILY REVIEW SHOW!!!!!

Okay, we had a lot of really good episodes today, so let's hurry up and talk about them!

First up, FAMILY MOMENTS! I love this thumbnail so much, especially Moon's face.. I .. I just love it!

I love how we get to learn about everyone's movie preferences. It's interesting learning these little random tidbits about them. It's fun. Also Sun...

SPY KIDS 3 IS GREAT, AND I WILL NOT HEAR OTHERWISE!!! 😡

Also, Prince of Egypt is a really good movie. You all should go watch it. Even if you aren't religious, it's really good and has some awesome animation and music. Seriously, if you haven't watched, please do. I think it's on YouTube for free???

This episode was cute.... ONTO THE TRAUMA!

Bout time, I was wondering when Nexus would try to kidnap Sun. Took longer than I expected... I wonder why? 🤔

This episode I think confirmed a theory I had...

New Moon/Nexus never cared.

I had this thought in the back of my head that Nexus never really cared about them. He never thought of them as family. He just saw them as people he was told to call family. They were NEVER his family. He never really cared. He just cared about Solar, but Solar never saw him as a brother. OOOFFFFF!

That hurts!

But I'm glad we know because DANG! The angst there!

Also, Sun is stronger than Nexus' chain ability (That ability where he forces people to the floor. I like to imagine purple chains form around the person when he uses that move)

Nexus was so close to kidnapping Sun....

BUT MONTY CAME IN STINKIN' CLUTCH!!!!!!

Monty FINALLY got to use the shotgun! He nearly killed Nexus there! Thank you, Nebula, for the starshells! The Astrals are starting to grow on me.

(Okay... maybe a was a little rash on the whole "Down with the Astrals" "Viva la revolution" thing!) Sorry, Astrals. Still don't really trust Taurus or Leo tho.

Things are getting serious! October is in like two weeks! The creator is still out there! Rez and Cetus are out there! And Dark Sun still has a stinkin' dragon! This is gonna be an exciting October! I'm so excited!

Also, thank you, Davis and Reed, for this picture of Monty with a shotty.

And lastly...

Okay, Eclipse looks like that one guy from the office that conspiracy theory guy. And Puppet just looks depressed.

Puppet really wants to catch the killer. It's really affecting her. It's the MCI incident all over again. And she clearly doesn't want anyone or herself to go through that again. Eclipse still won't watch movies with anyone. It's only a matter of time, though. The moment he says yes and joins them is the moment his redemption arc is complete for me!

So, Eclipse and Puppet have narrowed down the killer to 4 suspects. All employees of Fazbear.

1. Vincent

2. Some lady named Margo

3. A teenage intern who works in the daycare named Josh

4. And the repair man whose name I forget.

I don't think it's any of these guys. But I have a few theories on who the killer could be..

1. Michael Afton of this world. Eclipse did mention in one of the early episodes of the EAPS that the Michael of this world was/still is an employee of Fazbears.

2. Henry Emily. Just cause the angst that it would cause Puppet.

3. The Charlie of this world. Just cause again the angst it would cause Puppet being the killer of this world!

There is no way it's Wanda(the William of this world)

And I highly doubt it's Vincent or some rando employee.

It has to be someone important.

These episodes were amazing!

Davis, Reed, Kat, Valentine, you guys did amazing on these episodes again!

12/10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Extra point cause WOW!

Also shout out to this commentor for having the funniest comment on there.

Nebula, you are starting to become my favorite Astral!

Also, Patchnotes is a ship I really hope happens now!

[andreal831]

Can we please stop pretending Klaus is some Machiavellian genius?

I get the show is always trying to tell us he is a mastermind, but there are so many more clever characters who actually set up long term plans to achieve their goals (Lucien, Celeste, Katherine). What did Klaus ever do that was ever strategic or showed any superior intelligence? If anything his intelligence was severely stunted, he was a thousand years old and still acting like a teenager half the time. He made rash and impulsive decisions and they worked out sometimes. They had just as much of a chance of blowing up in his face. This doesn't make him smart. If he wasn't so indestructible, he wouldn't have been so lucky.

Throughout history, we constantly see Elijah having to remind Klaus not to draw attention to them. All he has to do is stop being a serial killer or risk bringing the one man he is terrified of to town. You would think it would be easy, yet he is unable to control himself. At no point do we see him ever preparing to confront Mikael. He only runs from him. He could have created an army to trap Mikael or befriended witches. But no, instead of coming up with a plan, they all just run. Not much of a master strategist. The fandom loves to say it was stupid that Rebekah called Mikael to New Orleans yet doesn't want to talk about how stupid it was for Kol and Klaus to go on a killing spree which they knew would attract Mikael. And he does this not once, not twice, but repeatedly in every flashback we see, all the way from the first flashback in 1001 to the last in the 1950s.

Speaking of the 1950s, what great strategic plan was it to tell Elijah he buried their siblings at sea? He isolated the one family member he had left while Mikael was hot on his trail. This turned Elijah against him and what did Klaus do? Did he come up with a masterplan? No. he ran and body jumped.

Klaus' strength isn't his intelligence but his durability and his psychical strength. Which is why he was so determined to break his curse. He needed to be stronger than everyone, including his siblings. But what did any of that get him? Tristan and Aya at least built a cult and created weapons that could even take down Originals. Yet Klaus wasn't able to come up with any plan to take down Mikael?

We see Elijah tell Klaus that Klaus 'built' New Orleans, yet we never see any indication that Klaus is politically minded. In fact, in season one, he is in charge and a war breaks out in large part due to his scheming. He is constantly killing political leaders (the mayor, the mayor's son, the witches' leaders, every faction head, etc.) and then is surprised when they can't find peace and everyone is against him.

The only time Klaus had a long term plan that actually seemed clever was the lie about the sun and the moon curse. Not only did it take them nearly a thousand years before it actually worked, but he wasn't even the reason it worked. He was tricked by Elijah and literal teenagers. Elijah tricked him to get him to MF, the MF gang tricked him into believing Bonnie was dead, and then he fell for that exact same trick and believed that Elena was dead.

Throughout the shows and even flashbacks, people act like Klaus is this great strategist. And maybe he is compared to the children he is targeting. But when you put him up against his equals (Lucien, Mikael, Dahlia, etc.), he doesn't compare.

Celeste and Genevie were manipulating Klaus left and right in season one. In the short '9' months he was in New Orleans, he destabilized it so much that Hope nearly died. She only survived because of Marcel. They only got her back because of Elijah and Hayley. In fact, Klaus' plan to bring Hope back before they were ready is what drew Dahlia back so quickly, leaving them unprepared to face her.

Klaus wasn't responsible for Mikael's first death. He got lucky that everyone else (the children he was targeting) came up with a plan to trick Mikael. Mikael's second death was simply overpowering him, no outsmarting there. In fact, Mikael would have killed Klaus if his family hadn't saved him earlier.

Yes, he 'tricked' Dahlia into believing he betrayed his family, but this wasn't a trick. He actually did betray them. He murdered Gia and turned Elijah against him once again. He is unable to scheme without actually hurting those close to him and alienating the people trying to help. He lies that he killed Aiden, again another time he just jumps on the first opportunity he sees, and by doing so, he alienates all of their allies and endangers his family. The only reason they end up beating Dahlia is because of Esther. They all would have died based on Klaus' plan. Sure his idea to curse Hayley did technically save her life but he didn't do it for that purpose, he admitted he did it to punish her. There was no long term scheme. He hadn't thought through how it would impact Hope or even what he would tell his daughter as she got older.

Then in Season 3, Lucien had Klaus on his knees before his big brother and big sister swept in to save the day. Even taking down Tristan was thanks to Cami and Freya's plan. He had to be saved from the Strix by Hayley, Marcel, and Stefan. They have their big Thanksgiving dinner where they confront the three, but all it does is show that Lucien, Tristan, and Aurora had out schemed the Mikaelsons. The only thing the Mikaelsons could do was overpower them and threaten them.

In Season 4, Klaus hardly does anything and Season 5 Klaus is an absolute mess. You're telling me this legendary strategist couldn't save his daughter and her mother from a hundred year old vampire? He couldn't figure out a way to find her? In the seven years they were forced apart, he wasn't even trying to find a way to reunite his family? He wasn't a strategist, rather he waited for events to happen and then reacted impulsively, hoping it would work out. His plans are all based on emotion and vendettas, not strategy or intelligence.

Yes, he is Machiavellian in a sense that he has nearly no empathy and will do whatever it takes to get what he wants, but he lacks the cunningness to be truly Machiavellian. Instead he is just a narcissistic psychopath.

[envy-of-the-apple]

Hi! :D I hope you're doing great. So I am wondering something. (I searched your accaunt for this a bit but couldn't find an answer to this, I'm sorry if you had already answered a similar question)

The Sun Eats The Moon is a no curses AU, and I just want to know how you think that affects Gojo. Like, what is different? Just his ways? I know he still has a power status not quite matched but, it can't be the same, right? And his powers kind of make him, would you agree? I just find no curses AU's so interesting because of this :)

ohhhhh that's such a great question actually???? lemme preface this by saying i do NOT write gojo like his canon counterpart. The canon version of him is a complicated mix of sweet, lonely guy who wants to have friends but he lives with beings who will never understand him so he has a hard time equating value to them even though he knows on paper killing humans is bad. I mostly lean into Gojo's cruel malicious side whenever I write him.

Considering how powerful he is, despite his lighthearted personality, Gojo holds a lot of responsibility. He's the strongest, right? Because of the immense responsibility he holds, he'd hold himself (by that i mean personality-wise) back a lot. We've seen that Gojo can be pretty cruel and horrible to those he allows himself to kill (aka the curses). in the Shibuya arc, he's not killing them off, he's straight up toying with the disaster curses. It's in his nature to be malicious, but he holds himself back a lot because of how strong he is. He's also shown to be really lonely in this version (with his whole dream of creating stronger sorcerers so he can not be lonely), so acting in whatever way he desires (aka killing off the higher ups) might scare off his allies. Two things that keep him in line, mostly.

It's why I think in the non-curses au, Gojo would feel more 'freer' in a sense. In SEM he's still pretty powerful, but that's largely due to his wealth and familial affluence. He doesn't have the weight of a secret jujutsu sorcery world on his shoulders. With the lack of responsibility, I personally feel Gojo would act out on his desires a lot more. Why hold back? He isn't answering to anyone, right? Also, in this version, he's a lot less lonelier. He doesn't have this fear that if he pushes too hard people might leave him. It also has to do largely with Geto but I don't wanna spoil too much considering what I have planned. But maybe yall have already connected the dots on that one lmao:)

In SEM, thematically Gojo's character moves in a very different way compared to his regular counterpart. After Riko, Gojo realizes that the weak need to be protected. In this version of him, Gojo never has that realization. That coupled with the lack of responsibility would cause Gojo to be a lot more malicious, I believe.

So bascially, SEM! Gojo has a god complex. And regular Gojo also has a God complex but it's more complicated than that.

[crusty-chronicles]

The Moon and Sun (Big Sib Reader x Gon/Killua)

Ch 15: It's too much

Synopsis: You didn't think it was possible, but you've finally reached your limit. And it just so happened to be when one of your boys needed you the most.

-------------

A month.

A whole month of being subjected to various presences appearing and disappearing.

One full month of being swarmed by ants and forcing yourself to operate through your own limits.

Four entire weeks of hell…but did you regret it? Not one bit. At least not in the ways that mattered. You didn't regret training to get stronger. To endure more.

You didn't regret creating a new ability that worked well with ‘your little problem’.

You most certainly didn't regret leaving anymore. Enough time had passed for you to be certain. You were free.

Everything that had been weighing you down these past thirteen years was finally lifted. The fear of facing anyone from your former clan was gone for now. You could let your paranoid exterior melt away without the fear of Reik coming for you. Of course you'd still be cautious with your aura, but you'd allow yourself to relax a little.

Suffering a month in hell was worth knowing for sure your presence wouldn't endanger Gon and Killua.

No, you'd rather die quietly somewhere than be responsible for more deaths. You didn't want them involved with what might happen. What had already happened once.

Maybe that was why you kept pushing them away. Why you simply couldn't tell them about who you used to be. You were scared of letting them close to you. Scared of losing another kid who you loved like family. To allow yourself to become attached only for them to be injured or worse.

The best option would have been to leave for good. But you just couldn't do that anymore. Instead letting yourself be selfish and push them away, only to pull them closer when YOU thought was best.

It wasn't fair, and you knew that.

But you were never a good person. You'd done so many horrible things. It was inconceivable for someone like you to be deserving of love and kindness.

Yet you craved it.

A life worth living with people worth living for.

So you'd continue to push and pull until they eventually had enough of you. Until they wanted nothing to do with you. A price you were willing to pay as long as they were safe.

The month had gone by far too soon for your liking. You didn't think you were ready to face the boys after leaving so suddenly. After lying directly to Gon's face. You wanted to see them more than anything, but did they want to see you?

You had a feeling they wouldn't.

Though it didn't really matter at the moment. You'd promised to meet them at the entrance today. You were nothing if not true to your word. So at the break of dawn, you took off.

Something about today didn't feel right. If you were an ordinary person you would have chalked it up to nerves. Maybe even brushed it off. But you knew your body and right now it was trying to prepare you for something.

As if sensing an inconvenience before it even happened.

Hopefully an inconvenience was all it would be. You don't think you could take it right now if it was something big.

Former hunter instincts had to count for something right?

You were just glad it had finally stopped raining. You should be able to make it to the border in thirty minutes tops. Plenty of time to figure out what to say to your boys when you saw them.

It hit you then, that they weren't the only ones you needed to prepare yourself to talk to. You'd have to confront the amateur hunters and tell them….

Kite was most likely dead.

You couldn't find him. You, who was able to track anything and anyone, couldn't find him. Not a trace of his aura that indicated he was still here in the NGL. Sure there was a chance he was able to retreat somewhere safely. But you highly doubted he would have been able to escape without killing the cat chimera ant. It wouldn't have let him leave otherwise.

You could try to convince yourself with fake scenarios all you wanted, but the one thing you couldn't make excuses for was the blood. So much of it splattered into the dirt.

More than you'd lost.

The trees in the surrounding area were chopped down with precision. Meaning Kite had fought, or at least tried to.

You knew. You've known since the first day you came here and couldn't sense him. But you still wanted to foolishly believe he was okay. Knowing your heart would surely break if the opposite was true. That once again, your own cowardness had killed someone you cared about.

So you convinced yourself until the nest was checked top to bottom, Kite was alive and well. You could let yourself pretend things were fine until then.

You could just barely make out the two giant trees by the entrance. A damn shame you still hadn't come up with anything to say. You could always say sorry, but it didn't feel like enough.

Not after both boys had gone through the trouble of making sure you wouldn't die.

What to do, what to d-

You immediately stopped in your tracks. Body tensing as an eerie feeling washed over you. Something cruel and strong had just been born. The malice faint due to your distance, but the fact you could feel it from all the way over here told you enough. It's existence was suffocating.

Worse than the other three that awakened prior.

If that was the king then…

You shook off the thought. Instead, pushing your legs to run at top speed. The sooner you met up with the boys, the better. You'd be able to fill in the other hunters that were here faster.

Yet the closer you got to the border, the heavier the pit in your stomach got. By now you should've been able to sense the boys. But there was no trace of them. Instead, two very different presences stood by the entrance.

You blinked twice to make sure you were seeing correctly. And sure enough that was NOT Gon and Killua. You hesitated on moving forward, waiting to see if your boys would eventually come out and when they didn't, your mind immediately went into a frenzy.

Creating the worst possible scenarios as to why your kids weren't here. Were these Morel's pupils? Did they hurt the boys? Did something happen to them?

Both men ahead of you felt tense. Anxiety radiating off of both of them, along with a little bit of guilt.

Guilt?

You were in front of them in an instant. Both jumping back in shock. The one with the pompadour took a fighting stance shortly after. Sizing you up before he realized he was completely outclassed.

The domineering presence Knuckle was used to having over others slipped away. It stood no chance up against yours. Looming and dangerous. Your resolve growing stronger by the second. Making both him and Shoot feel smaller than they were.

Insignificant.

“Who the hell are you?” Ice.

Pure ice in your tone. Not an ounce of nen was used, and yet your demeanor alone was overpowering. But Knuckle could faintly see a protective anger rising.

Protective and defensive. Like an animal defending its young. And if that was the case, then you were most likely the one the boys were talking about. Their big sibling that they described as tired and unbothered most of the time. Yet had the potential to be just as menacing if you wanted to. And right now, you were more than menacing.

Your rising anger made sense considering how things must've looked. It was best to try and defuse the situation before you actually killed one of them. Shoot, who'd come to the same conclusion, was already on it.

“You're Y/n right? Gon and Killua talked highly of-”

“Where are they. What did you do.” Your accusation hanging heavily in the air. The tension so heavy, neither of them could speak.

It was as if you believed they killed them. And that definitely warranted your reaction. But it was far from the truth. The boys were perfectly fine. So why couldn't either of them tell you that?

Why was the way your tired eyes glared at them so paralyzing?

Afraid to even say the wrong word.

“They stayed behind. They put up a good fight-” Knuckle didn't get a chance to finish before you were already gone.

Both men letting out a sigh of relief once they were sure you were gone.

“We almost died just now, didn't we?” Shoot mumbled.

“...It’s no wonder Gon and Killua struggled in combat. With a power like that protecting them, they wouldn't even need to lift a finger. Let alone worry about getting hurt. If they'd been with the boys back there, we would've lost for sure.” Knuckle noted.

He could see why both boys respected you, but damn did you put the fear of God in him.

—--------

You zipped between the giant trees with ease. Anxious of what you'd find beyond them. You were hoping with your entire being they were okay. Because if something happened to those boys….

You might just have to break your promise.

You stood at the entrance and immediately focused your eyes. Your heart beating rapidly against your ribcage until you finally saw them.

But something was clearly wrong.

Unbridled sadness was in both of their auras. Grief mixing in. Gon was hunched over with Killua right besides him.

Were those tears?

Your body seemed to move on its own. Once again rushing, but this time your purpose was different. Wanting to comfort them from whatever happened while you were gone.

“Hey, hey, hey, what happened? Kid, you're crying.” Your tone much different than the one you used with Knuckle and Shoot. Soft and warm. Enough for both boys’ heads to shoot up in your direction.

“Y/n?” Gon hesitantly asked before it registered that you were really there.

“Y/n!”

You barely had enough time to think before you were engulfed in a tight hug. Arms wrapped so tightly around you it bordered on hurting. It took a few seconds for you to return it.

You could feel Gon shaking against you. Head pressed firmly against your stomach as he continued to cry.

“I was-I was too weak! I let you down!”

Your heart broke at his sob. You knew he was always so hard on himself. That every time something went wrong he'd blame it on his own shortcomings. So why the hell in your idiot mind did you think it was okay to add even more pressure to that. To say ‘win because I'll be waiting.’

“I’m so sorry! I tried, I really tried my best but it just wasn't good enough!” His grip tightened slightly around you.

You did your best to rub soothing circles into his back. How many times had you assured him it was never his fault? How many more would there be in the future? It didn't matter. You'd continue to reassure him as many times as it took for the weight on his shoulders to be lifted. As many times as he needed.

“You didn't let me down. You know I could never be disappointed in you right?”

He shook his head against you, unbelieving in your words. And once again you blamed Ging for constantly setting his son up to compare himself to others. He couldn't do this or he couldn't do that. He wasn't as strong as so-and-so.

That didn't make him any lesser of a person and it never would.

“Look at me. Can you do that? Let me see you?” You gently coaxed his head up, taking in his ashamed expression. Tears and snot alike running down his face. But right now you could care less about that.

“I don't care if you were able to get those game pieces or not. I'm just relieved you're okay. That you're both okay.” Your eyes briefly glancing over towards Killua who still stood a little ways away.

“You did your best and that's all I could ask for. Okay? Don't beat yourself up over nothing.”

“But Kite-” Gon tried to protest.

“I'm sure that old geezer and his gang of goons will be able to find him. And you know he wouldn't be upset with you either. He'd be just as proud you did your best. So please don't be upset about something that's out of your control. You did just fine.”

You hoped that would've been enough to calm him down. His tears had stopped, but his grip hadn't waivered. Opting to once again press his head into your stomach. To let your warm presence engulf him before it once again disappeared.

“Don't leave us again.” He pleaded.

A promise you couldn't make just yet. Something was stopping you from doing it. A feeling of uncertainty. So instead you settled on-

“Let's get you and Killua home.”

Home. Your home was with them. And that was finally enough for Gon's arms to go lax around you. Nodding feebly and keeping as close to you as possible for now.

Your gaze once again drifted towards Killua. He wasn't crying anymore, but he still looked very tense.

“And you? How are you feeling?” You made a gesture for him to come closer. Wanting to hug both of your boys. This past month taking it's toll on you.

“I'm fine.” The answer felt distant. Almost dismissive. You could see that he was lying to you, but that wasn't the issue. He wasn't lying because he didn't want you to worry, but because he didn’t think you had to know. Deserve to know.

However, there was so much hesitation there, as if he was fighting with himself to not run over to you.

You didn't like this and how the looming feeling from earlier seemed to intensity.

—------------------

It was surprising how empty the jeep was. You'd grow used to being packed up like sardines. To being surrounded by so many people. Something you never thought would happen.

In a sense you were glad. You wouldn't feel their heavy stares as much when you told them about Kite. Or perhaps you felt the guilt wouldn't weigh as much. Yet you knew the outcome would be the same regardless of if they were all here or not.

You'd stammer your way through an apology and ultimately be hated for not being able to find him.

It was only Mon, Stick, and Spin who came this time. The later sitting in the back with you and the boys. You were dreading when she'd ask the inevitable question. It was only a matter of time.

Gon clung tightly to your arm, refusing to relinquish your comfort for even one second. And while you knew he was hurting, you couldn't even begin to imagine what the other three were going through.

Uncertain of their mentor’s fate, yet still holding strong.

You wished the same was true for you. You'd cried that first day. Seeing the aftermath of what that stupid cat did. Hell, the sight was enough to make you pass out.

But you knew it wasn't your place to grieve. You had absolutely no right to be upset when his students had known him for years. Who were you to make a fuss? Just because you had feelings for him?

To act out like that would be selfish and inconsiderate. Disgraceful.

You'd thought about pulling the boys to the side and explaining it to them. That no matter how upset they were about Kite, it wasn't their place or their right to cry in front of the amateur hunters about what happened.

But….

They were just kids.

Their emotions were valid. To say otherwise would diminish them. To say ‘stop crying, you don't deserve too’ would be cruel. All too reminiscent of your own upbringing. The last thing you wanted was to repeat the mistakes inflicted on you.

So you continued let Gon sniffle against your arm and Killua lean against your shoulder. You continued to sit in the awkward silence as Spin sat from across you. You continued to bite your tongue until you were spoken to directly.

“Were you able to get anything on Kite?” Spin asked at last. Though her demeanor was a lot less hostile than you were expecting.

In front of you were two choices. You could either lie or tell the truth.

‘I’m sorry. I was so focused on training that I didn't really have the time to look.’

Definitely not. How disgusting of a human being would you have to be to say that? Like you couldn't have cared less about him after running away. You were sure you'd be tossed out of the jeep for that one.

‘I searched everywhere for him,. but all I found was blood. I'm sorry but he's gone. There was nothing I could do about it.’

But if you said that then you'd have to admit to yourself he was actually dead. And you weren't quite ready for that yet. As much as they deserved to know, you just couldn't say it.

“Every trail I followed ended up leading to nothing. My senses are still dulled from my previous injuries, so I wasn't able to get much anyways…I'd place a wager he's probably using zetsu to keep out of the ants’ radar. Don't count him out just yet.”

Lies.

All lies.

But you'd fooled yourself into believing they were true.

As long as there was hope, there was a chance.

“Thank you for trying. And before you start apologizing again, don't. Got it?” She warned.

As if sensing your inner turmoil. But in reality it was the image of you knocking on death's door just to say you were sorry to them. To push your own needs aside to make amends.

There wasn't anything to make up for, at least not in her eyes.

So the conversation was left at that with a nod of confirmation from you.

Another long silence, except it was a bit more manageable this time. By now Gon's sniffles had completely stopped. A few minutes later, it was him who interrupted the silence.

“Y/n.” He called.

You gave a small hum to show you were listening.

“You can make me stronger, can't you?”

You tensed up at the question. You very well could make both boys stronger, but you didn't want to use your clan’s methods to do it. Unfortunately for you, that was the only way you knew how. You should've said no.

“...Yes…” you answered.

“Then I want you to train me.” There was a resolve brewing in his eyes. One let you know he wouldn't take no for an answer.

“Knuckle and the other Hunters are going to save Kite, I'm sure if it.” He'd let go of your arm in favor of facing you fully.

“So I have to get a whole lot stronger, because Kite's coming back. And I won't disappoint him!”

Atta boy.

No more tears.

And before you could reassure him that Kite would never be disappointed, Spin decided to speak up.

“So your head's on straight after all?” It felt playful. Not angry or accusing. In fact, her aura surged with assurance. And when she addressed Gon, it was a light scolding coming from a good place.

“It's true that you may have met Kite before we did, but the fact remains that we've spent much more time with him than you have.”

A point you'd rationalized earlier. Maybe you were a little glad you weren't the one who had to explain it to them.

“If you were still mopping around after we'd crossed the mountains, I was gonna beat you up.” She paused before shaking her head. As if to rid the thought away before continuing.

“Then I'd tell you Kite wouldn't want to see you like this. Any of you.”

Because Kite had always been a good person. Even if he pretended to be a hardass sometimes.

“I'm positive that he's still alive. And I'm absolutely certain he wouldn't want the three of you to have any regrets. Especially you,” Spin pointed directly at you.

But however comforting her words sounded, you'd always blame yourself. How could you not regret being responsible for someones death? How could you sit in front of her and pretend everything was fine when you knew it wasn't?

Lies.

Lying to yourself and everyone around you.

You were hoping this was the inconvenience you were sensing earlier, but the feeling still hadn't left.

You tuned back into the conversation at a good time. With Spin encouraging Gon to continue training if he wasn't strong enough. Only for said boy to start doing handstands.

Whatever worked you guessed.

As long as he wasn't upset anymore.

Which reminded you, what the hell was that thing hovering over him? Another cat like creature. This one purple with a Cheshire grin. You were starting not to like cats anymore.

You'd ask him about it later. You directed your attention to Killua who continued to avoid your gaze.

Was he mad at you?

No, he didn't feel angry. If anything, he still felt sad. Bordering on depressed. Not good.

You'd be sure to talk to him later. It was unlike the small assassin to be so quiet. To be distant from both you and Gon. The melancholy look in his eyes certainly didn't help ease your worries.

“Hey Spin?” Gon called after a while.

“Hmm.”

“Why do you want to be a hunter?” His go to ice breaker. You don't think he'd ever tire of asking it.

“Because I need the money so that I can repay an enormous debt,” she answered. A thoughtful expression on her face before she continued explaining.

Telling the story of how when her and Stick were smaller, they did everything they could to help out a special type of swan. One that only inhabits an area around a certain mine.

Their only option was to try and buy the land. And here's the kicker: Kite was the one who helped finance it. The only one who listened to their concerns and helped without expecting anything in return.

If you thought you couldn't fall any deeper in love with him, then you were wrong.

Kite really was someone special, wasn't he?

If you ever saw him again, you'd spend the rest of your life making things right. He deserved that much.

—-------------------

“Hey, Y/n. Before we get off, we should really tell you something.” Gon started, almost anxiously.

You arched a brow at his worried tone before exiting the jeep to help him and Killua down.

“And what's that?”

“Well, you see….” He trailed off before Killua took over.

“We kinda promised a psycho lady we'd beat Knuckle and Shoot. And she said if we couldn't do it she'd um…. How strong did you say you were again?” Because now that Gon’s nen was temporarily gone, he wouldn't be able to defend himself.

But you didn't know about that yet.

So when you only gave them an even more baffled look, he didn't really blame you.

“Just look.” Killua pointed behind you.

Your eyes widening as you saw a visibly unstable aura consume the entire building.

“What the actual fuck?” You mumbled in disbelief.

This must've been what your body was anticipating. Such a malicious and bloodthirsty aura. Intent so thick it was actually visible to the naked eye. You would have sensed it sooner had you not been so preoccupied with the boys. But now that you were focusing on it, it was incredibly intense.

Yet, it would never be as bad as what you felt all those years ago. However evil this woman's was, it didn't hold a candle to Reik's. So after making sure both boys were behind you, you wasted no time barging in.

You had to use a small barrier of your own aura to ward off hers. Creating a makeshift shield in order to go deeper into the small home.

You scanned the area with your eyes until you saw what room she was in. Wasn't that your room??? You shook the thought off and approached the door.

“Remember, I tell you to leave, you leave. She feels fairly strong so if I can't handle her, I need to know you two will be safe.” You reminded.

They nodded, not wanting Palm to hear them.

You slowly opened the door. Only a sliver of a way open and you had to do a double take of what you were seeing. She was stabbing something.

WAS THAT A DOLL OF GON?!?!?

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

Why were there multiple of them?!?!?

Her head snapped towards you. Eyes bloodshot and crazed. But she wasn't looking at you. She was looking through you. As if you weren't there. Fixated on the two boys behind you.

“You'll pay for this.”

Both boys clung desperately to your side as she stood up. You lifted one of your arms up, preparing to use either your Caster's Net or your new ability. If she attacked, you'd stop her.

“You promised me.” She continued.

“You swore that you would take me to the NGL. You said if you broke that promise, you'd stick a thousand needles in your eye.”

Yup, you'd heard enough.

“You're not gonna lay a single finger on them. If you hurt even one of my boys…I'll make you suffer.” Your threat hanging heavier than hers.

Allowing your protective aura to be seen and envelop Gon and Killua. Palm finally met your gaze. Noticing you for the first time since you've been here.

“This doesn't concern you.” She snapped.

“The hell it doesn't, these are my kids!” You rebuttabled.

“I don't give a damn about what they promised you. They're children. They say things they don't mean all the time. You can't just hold that over their heads because you didn't get the result you wanted!” You were about at your limit already.

Too many damn expectations placed upon these boys. Just because they were strong, it didn't mean they weren't still kids capable of making mistakes. The more people like this you stumbled upon, the more faith you lost.

But before you could continue arguing with Palm, there was a tug on your sleeve. You looked down and were met with determined honey-colored eyes.

“I know me and Killua are still young, but I did mean what I said. I promised Palm we would win because I really thought we'd be able to do it. You're only as good as your word, right? So let me take responsibility.”

You wanted to double down. To tell him not to worry about it. That you'd take care of it. But you knew he was right. A promise made was a promise kept.

You just wished he hadn't used your own morals against you. That he was trying to follow them. He really was a good kid….And he was growing up too fast.

“Ugh, fine. Let the murder lady walk all over you, why don't you?” You gave in. Gon beamed up at you before glancing over your shoulder to address Palm.

“I'm sorry, is there a way that I can make amends?” He asked.

Palm seemed to think it over for a minute. The malicious intent in her aura slightly dissipating.

“There is! You must accomplish any one task that I set before you.”

Why did that sound familiar? Oh, you knew why. It was the same thing you told the boys when they were so adamant on paying you back for Greed Island. But you didn't have a very good feeling about what Palm wanted from Gon.

“Wait a sec! Think about how Gon is feeling!” Killua tried to defend, but as always, the boy in green was quick to make an impulsive decision.

“Fine. Okay.”

There wasn't even a second of silence before Palm made her request.

“Go out with me.”

“Deuueaugh!” A noise of utter and complete shock leaving you.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” You recovered.

“And why not?” Palm questioned, as if that was a perfectly normal response to why a grown woman shouldn't be going out with a 12 year old.

And the worst part, poor little Gon wasn't even phased.

“AM I HAVING A STROKE RIGHT NOW???? FIRST HISOKA AND NOW HER!?!? WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?!?”

“It's no big deal. I said I'd do anything,” Gon dismissed. But you simply weren't having it.

“DON'T ACT LIKE I'M THE ONE BEING CRAZY!!! KILLUA, HELP ME OUT HERE!”

“Y/n is right! Gon, do you have any idea what you're doing!?!? And you-” he pointed towards Palm.

“IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU WANT IT TO HAPPEN!?!? JUST THINK FOR A SECOND!”

“THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE! HE'S TWELVE! A BABY!!! I REFUSE TO ALLOW THIS!”

But all you and Killua received in return was a glare.

“This is none of your business. It's between Gon and me and it's settled. Just between Gon and me, mmmm, oh goodness,” she squealed.

“I said no.”

Your icy tone immediately catching her attention.

“Look, I'm sorry he promised you something he couldn't do. And I know he said he'd do anything to make it right, but I refuse to allow you to take advantage of my little brother. If your heart is desperately set on a date, then you can have me or you can get nothing. Understand?”

You didn't have time to go over the list of reasons why it was wrong for this grown woman to try and romance a kid. So to save time and get this over with, you offered yourself, the only other adult in the room.

Even though you wanted nothing to do with this woman.

But after the words left your lips her face immediately flushed. The phrase ‘you can have me’ making her internally squeal. And whether it was your fiery tone or the offer itself, your fate was unfortunately sealed.

“Yessss. You'd do just nicely.”

You heard the boys gulp from behind you. A slight protectiveness now radiating off both of them. Palm on the other hand, had finally calmed down. Apparently fantasizing about what to do.

“There's already somewhere I really want to go.”

“Today?” You questioned.

“I'm sorry but I just got back from a month of training. I need some time to unwind before I can go anywhere. That and I'd like to spend some time with my boys.” You explained.

You already had a huge headache from just conversing for a few minutes. You'd be snippy and pissed the entire day if she forced you to go anywhere now.

But that wasn't exactly the answer Palm wanted to hear. A knife placed firmly against your throat.

“Don't you dare-!” Killua made a move to disarm her, but you raised a hand to signal him to stop.

The bags under your eyes increasing significantly. Tired and unimpressed. Like you were over this entire situation.

“What are you talking about? We are going out. You said you'd take his place, didn't you?” You didn't like how calm her voice was right now. Knowing one wrong word and she'd surely snap again.

“Yes but-”

“THEN WHY ARE BLOWING ME OFF FOR THESE BRATS!!!! WE'RE DATING AND THIS WILL BE OUR FIRST DATE! YOU HEAR ME!?!? OUR! FIRST! DATE!” She threatened you with her knife.

You used your finger to lower the blade away from your neck. Was this the first time you were threatened at knife point? No. More than anything you found it annoying.

You could feel a steady out poor of defensive aura from behind you. Both boys preparing to swing if Palm did anything to you. You appreciated it, but they were only overwhelming your senses more.

“A first date should be memorable, yeah? A lot of planning goes into making something so special. Just give me the rest of the day to get my bearings.”

And in your exhausted state, you grabbed her hand and put it directly over your heart.

“You have my word we'll go on a date tomorrow.”

She dropped her knife and avoided your eyes. A bashful feeling over taking her aura.

“Sorry. If you would have explained that first, I wouldn't have gotten so angry.”

“It's fine. Though things would be a little easier if you gave me your number. I'd fill you in on all the details in the morning that way.” You explained.

You didn't mean for it to come out as flirtatious, but by the dark hue spreading across Palm’s face, she certainly took it as such.

“You…want my number?”

“Yes???”

“Ooh, you charmer. Would you also like to know where I'm staying so you can pick me up?” She hid her face behind her hands.

“Uh, no thank you. Just your number is fine.”

—-------------------

When Palm left you just about collapsed on the floor. You were both tired and drained from dealing with her seemingly never ending mood swings.

“You holding up okay, Y/n?” Gon asked.

“I need ten minutes of complete silence. Please.” You said exasperated.

Just this morning had been a lot. Hell, you'd hardly had a break this entire month. Constantly using your ability to sense for danger. The murky feeling of bloodlust and everything malicious swarming you.

Only to come back home to more of it. So much that it lingered in the small home. It wasn't that the feeling scared you, but you were fed up with it being all you could feel.

You knew the boys had good intentions trying to subtly defend you. But their added hostility only further drained you.

You just wanted a small break from everything negative. Just a few minutes of nothing so your body could reset.

You were only human after all.

The duo didn't push and let you have your space. Telling you to take as much time as you needed.

You truly were grateful they were so understanding.

You glanced around your room with a frown.

Your bed wasn't even here anymore. And even if it was, you weren't gonna go digging through all the Gon dolls to find it. You wanted to let out a groan of frustration seeing various strands of black hair left on the floor.

Just your luck you'd come back to a mess.

What else could possibly go wrong today?

You used your foot to clear up some space on the ground. You were used to sleeping on the floor anyways. Laying down for a few minutes wasn't so different. Curling into yourself and reaching for Kite's hat in your pocket.

Truthfully you should've handed it off to the amateur hunters. The one thing he left behind. They deserved to have something of his. But for some reason you just couldn't let go of it.

Not until you were certain he was gone.

It'd been a sorta sense of comfort for you. His scent helping you through your worst days in the NGL. Clutching it close when you realized you couldn't find him. When you allowed yourself to remember what brought you to this point.

Though you were certain it smelled more like you now than it did him.

You didn't dare wear it. Sure he'd given it to you, but it didn't feel right putting it on. Like you were tainting his memory.

‘He’s not dead,’ a small voice argued.

‘But what if he is?’ another sounded off.

Uncertain yet certain at the same time.

You just wanted to relax and forget everything for a second. Bringing the familiar blue hat up and hugging it close to your chest.

You'd give it back when you saw him again. It was a promise.

—------------------

Rather than 10, it took 30 minutes for you to calm down enough. Deciding you definitely weren't sleeping here tonight with how much of Palm’s presence still lingered.

Which brought you to where you were now. The boys wanted to get some training in. Asking if you'd accompany them to a nearby gym so they could fill you in on everything that's happened.

You agreed of course. Rationalizing you could also start planning for your date tomorrow. Gah! You had no idea what you were doing.

“Thank you again for stepping in back there. But you know you didn't have to, right?” Gon said as he lifted up a barbell. Much to the other gym goer's surprise.

“Of course I had to. It's my job to look after both of you. And if that means going on a date so you don't get taken advantage of, then so be it.” You explained with a reassuring grin.

He was happy to see you were doing better. Even if it kinda was his fault you felt drained in the first place.

“Hey Gon, there's something I wanted to ask you.” Killua started.

The boy in green gave a small hum in return.

“When I heard you talking to Palm, it seemed like you were right there in your element. Sooo, have you ever been on a date before?”

The question caught you completely off guard. What shocked you even more was Gon's answer.

“Sure, plenty of times.”

Both you and Killua doubled over in shock.

“Except, most all of them were with my Aunt Mito.” He clarified.

Then they weren't really dates. For a second you were scared. Worried? Good for him if he was meeting other kids his age, but you had a feeling that wasn't the case. And as Killua asked Gon to explain what he meant by most, you were correct.

“Sometimes ships with all female crews would stop by Whale Island. And some of them would only go out with guys who were younger than them.”

God fucking damnit. Seems he always had a knack for attracting creeps.

“I'd show them around town and they'd teach me a bunch of stuff.”

“Stuff?!?”

But Gon only laughed at you and Killua's reactions.

“They call women like that cougars. Isn't that crazy.”

He stopped laughing once he noticed you'd tensed up.

“Names and addresses. Now.”

“It's not that big a deal, “ he tried to brush off.

“Yes it is! You're a tater tot. Do we need to have a talk about stranger danger? You can't just go on dates with adults.” You lectured.

“I’m sure I'm not the only one. You've been on lots of dates too, right Killua?” Gon directed his attention to the mini assassin.

“Huh!?! No way. I was too busy.” Killua answered.

“All of my time went to assassin training. And we've been together since I retired.”

You noted he looked a little sad after he said those words. Grief once again mixing with his aura. What could've made him so distraught?

“Oh yeah…What about you, Y/n? How old were you when you went on your first date?” Gon questioned, hoping your answer would vindicate him.

“However old I am now.”

The sound of weights dropping caught your attention. Head snapping up just in time to see the bewildered expressions on the duo's faces.

“No way! This is gonna be your first date!?!”

“Yeah, you're ancient and you're telling me you've never gone out with someone!?!?”

You gave a small glare at Killua's comment before responding.

“Is it really that surprising? I'm not the biggest people person. Besides, romance never really interested me before, so I had no use for it.”

To be honest, you'd never really had feelings for someone until….

Until Kite.

“Wait a minute, you said ‘before.’ Does that mean you're interested now?” Killua asked with a teasing smirk. His previous gloomy demeanor gone.

“I bet they're interested in Kite~” Gon added with a sly grin of his own.

You couldn't stop the heat spreading across your face. Earning giggles from the two boys in front of you.

“Oh no. You two aren't gonna start this up again. We're in public.” But despite your warning, they continued teasing you.

“Bet you wanted your first date to be with him!” Gon said before dodging the weight you threw.

“Bet you want your first kiss to be with him!” Killua laughed out, jumping over the 50ibs weight you flung at him.

“Shut up you demons!”

But before you could chase them down, Gon's phone started ringing. The lightheartedness from the atmosphere being replaced by a more serious one.

He quickly put it on speaker before answering.

“Yeah, hello?”

“It's Knuckle,” the voice on the other end sounded.

“We've located and secured Kite.”

Those words alone lifted every burden from your shoulders.

He was alive.

You wanted to cry with relief. All this time wondering if he was okay. If he somehow managed to make it out with his life. Your body anxiously awaiting your order to run after him. To see him.

But once again your instincts said otherwise. Not to get ahead of yourself just yet.

“Really? So Kite is okay then? Gon asked. But Knuckle went silent.

“You still there?” He tried again.

A few more seconds of silence before the ball finally dropped.

“...I have reason to believe that Kite is being controlled by the enemy.”

So Pitou had won after all. Yet you still foolishly hung onto the hope that there was something you could do to help. To resist and overcome their control.

You wouldn't find out until tomorrow that you were dead wrong.

“So I'd like to tell you he's okay, but I can't.” Knuckle concluded. Being as transparent as he could knowing how much Kite meant to Gon.

But his honesty didn't deter the boy in green. Not in the slightest.

“Don't worry, I'm sure there's some way we can bring him back.”

Knuckle left Gon with the information that it would take three days for everyone to get here. And that all three of you should be careful with the outpour of soldier ants trying to imitate their king. Without the queen, they decided to take whatever power they could for themselves.

Gon assured him he would before hanging up. Letting all the information soak in. And then…

“ALL RIGHT!” He cheered.

Turning to you and Killua with a bright grin on his face.

“I knew that Kite was still alive!”

You wanted to share in his enthusiasm, but you knew better. Things never worked out the way you wanted to. The nagging feeling in your stomach reminding you.

Warning you something wasn't right.

—----------------------

“Girls like flowers, right?” You asked, eyeing a small boutique.

“You're really taking this whole date thing seriously, aren't you?” Killua noted.

“Kinda have to. I don't want her to try and stab us. So, uh, about the flowers?” You didn't have a plan whatsoever. Everything you knew about romance was surely outdated.

And you were sure chivalry might've been too old-fashioned to try. You thought about cursing your younger self for hanging around so many old people, but then you remembered why you did it.

You and your endeavors to attain anything sweet. It was also because you much rather preferred their company over your loudmouthed peers.

“You should get her roses. Lots of girls think it's romantic,” Gon answered.

“Thank you my little ladies man.” You ruffled his hair before once again catching sight of the purple cat over his shoulder.

“I've been meaning to ask you, what's that thing hanging around you.” You pointed at the creature you could only assume was made of nen.

“Oh that. It's part of Knuckle’s ability. He called it APR, and this thing means I've gone bankrupt.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion.

“Bankrupt?”

“It means he can't use his nen for an entire month,” Killua explained.

Ah, so that was why his aura was so faint. But it didn't exactly explain why Killua was so upset. His mood once again decreasing.

“I'd tell you that's unfortunate, but if anything it's gonna make your training a lot easier.” You eyed the prices of the roses and scowled. God you were poor.

“Really!?!” Gon exclaimed, looking up at you with pure excitement.

“Definitely. You gotta work on your physical skills before you can focus on nen…. But if you want that thing gone, just tell me.”

You quickly put back the bouquet you were looking at, only for Killua to pull it back out and slap some money on the counter. You gave him an incredulous look that he decided to brush off.

“You can get rid of it?” Gon asked.

“More like sever the bond between it and you. It just depends on the type of curse. Something following you is easy to get rid of. But a condition with a consequence I can't do. Remember Genthru?”

You made a promise to pay Killua back for the flowers. It was quite frankly pathetic to be accepting money from a child. To be unable to afford anything and rely on someone else to take care of it. You were the one supposed to be taking care of him. Not vice versa. Maybe you should start looking for work after this ant business was finished.

“Yeah…I think I'm gonna keep the curse though. It'll make me stronger.”

“Atta boy….So how do we feel about serenading?”

—-----------------------

You laid down comfortably on a couch you don't remember being here before you left. You were grateful for it nevertheless. The TV playing a report of a chimera ant incident that happened earlier in the day.

A cheetah ant to be exact.

What was it with cat chimera ants and being the absolute worst?

You'd kick its ass if you ever saw it in person. ‘Bring someone faster.’ It wanted fast? It'd get more than fast.

Right now Gon was taking a shower. Then Killua. And finally you. You really needed one. It'd been so long since you had a proper bath. You couldn't wait to scrub away all the grime you accumulated last month.

You couldn't wait to sleep either. A good rest before forcing yourself into the most uncomfortable situation of your life. Which reminded you, your poor room was still trashed.

“Might as well,” you mumbled. You didn't feel like going in there and still feeling Palm's dark presence. Instead, you conjured up your nen in your palm and made a small figure.

Within a few seconds, a little jester marionette materialized.

“Henry, go clean my room.” You commanded.

The puppet gave a salute before trotting away. Strings of nen attaching from itself to you.

Killua watched the entire ordeal go down. You'd never done that before. Was this something else you had once again hidden from them? Another secret that wasn't to be questioned?

Would you be mad if he asked?

He wasn't sure how to act around you anymore. Afraid if he said the wrong thing you'd leave again. It was getting harder and harder to let himself be comfortable. Not wanting the safety you provided to be yanked away like nothing.

He was sure he loved you with his whole heart.

But what if he confided in you about what happened, only for you to vanish. To show vulnerability only to be left even more hurt.

‘One day, you'll leave Gon behind to die and Y/n won't be there to save him. You'll end up hurting both of them.’

‘You must stay out of Gon's life if you're unable to beat Shoot. Then you'll have to explain to Y/n that you're nothing but a coward. You think they'll still be proud of you after that?’

He was trying so hard not to break down. To run into your arms and seek out your reassurance. But…

But you left him.

When they both needed you the most, you left.

“You've been eerily quiet today. It's unlike you,” you tried to jest. Your voice snapping him from his thoughts.

“I’m just tired.”

You frowned at his dismissive response. You knew he was lying, but you also knew if you brought it up, he'd only become more closed off.

You got up and approached until you were standing right in front of him.

“Killua, be honest with me. What happened?”

His name. You must've been serious. You must've been worried. You wouldn't be worried anymore if you knew the truth.

“Nothing.”

Your patience, your kindness, your love. He couldn't give into it. You'd say something comforting and then you'd leave. But it was okay. He was gonna be the one to leave soon anyways, so he wouldn't live to see it happen.

“It was obviously something if it's affecting you this much. You know you can tell me anything right?”

A hand on his shoulder and a reassuring squeeze. That was all it took for his resolve to break.

“I-”

But right before he spilled everything, the bathroom door opened. Gon exiting with his hair unusually floppy.

“Alright, it's all yours Killua.”

Killua spared a look back at you and knew this conversation was far from over. He rushed into the bathroom before you could question him further. Turning on the water just in time to hear you tell Gon he looked like a wet dog.

You two would be just fine without him.

You always liked Gon better anyways.

—-------------

You had a good hour before your date with Palm, resulting in a very chaotic morning. Brushing your teeth vigorously and making sure you smelled half decent. Trying to make yourself presentable only to realize the suit you got yesterday was still at the tailors.

Well, more like the dress shirt and pants you got yesterday. But that was besides the point. You'd heard it was favorable to dress nicely for dates. Something formal usually being the way to go. More advice that was probably outdated.

You were trying your best, that had to count for something right?

If you went out right now, you'd be all sweaty when you met up with Palm. An alternative idea struck you. One that gave you the opportunity to talk to Killua in private about what happened.

“Hey, munchkin. Could you do me a favor and grab my suit for me? I know it's last minute but-”

“I don't mind. It's the least I could do for getting you into this mess.” Gon reassured.

You gave his head a pat before sending him on his way. Making sure to tell him to be careful. You didn't want to send him away, but you needed to get to the bottom of what was wrong with Killua. You had a feeling he wouldn't spill as long as Gon was there.

Maybe it had something to do with him?

You hoped not. For as long as you'd known the duo, they'd always been close. Maybe something was jeopardizing that. It made the most sense anyway.

You exited the bathroom to see Killua glancing anxiously at the door. As if willing Gon to come back. Maybe the issue was you? You don't know why the thought stung as much as it did. You took a minute to gather your thoughts before speaking.

“I'm not gonna force you to talk about what happened while I was gone if you're not ready. But whatever it is, I can see that it's affecting you. You're not laughing and joking around with Gon. You're not giving out your usual remarks. You're not being you. I won't force you, but I'll be right here ready to listen when you're ready. If you're ready.”

There you go again, making promises he knew you wouldn't keep. It felt genuine. Like you really did care, because if you didn't, you wouldn't have noticed the change in his behavior at all. He was sure he wasn't acting all that different. Gon hadn't brought it up, if he did notice.

But you'd always been able to see everything with those eyes of yours.

And Killua was once again on the verge of spilling everything. Fighting with himself to believe everything would be okay if he just told you what was going on. Before he knew it, he verbalized his doubts.

“You're here now, but how much longer until you're gone again? How can I trust you with my secrets when you won't even trust us with yours?” But they were the wrong ones.

And he knew immediately when your face went blank. Expressionless while you came up with a response. It was too late to take it back, but maybe a part of him didn't want to.

You'd tricked him. You'd pretended you were happy and then left in the middle of the night. They needed you. He needed you. If you'd just stayed, maybe Bisky wouldn't have gotten in his head. He wouldn't have felt so helpless that entire month. He wouldn't have to leave you and Gon forever.

“It's not that simple.” You started. For the first time, a look of regret in your eyes. Uncertainty.

“I wish I could tell you everything. Why I'm the way I am and why I've done the things I've done. But it's best I don't. I wish I could promise you I'd stop leaving, too. But I just can't.” You couldn't risk either one of their safeties. Of getting them involved with your own twisted affairs.

But all your deflection did was make Killua frustrated. Every damn time he wanted an answer, it was like walking on eggshells around you. You didn't trust him. You didn't trust either of them.

Was it because they were kids?

Was it because you didn't like them anymore?

Or were you just fed up with dealing with them?

His thoughts starting to spiral into something meaner. Something that wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt him when he woke up and you weren't there. Leaving with a note and a ‘good luck.’

It was your fault. If you'd just stayed, none of this would've happened. Gon wouldn't have lost his nen, and Killua wouldn't have to stay out of his life. If they'd never met you, he wouldn't be as soft as he was now.

‘That’s not true,’ a voice argued. But right now he wanted to blame someone for everything that's happened. You who was supposed to be there for him.

What you were trying to do now.

Well, it was too little too late for that.

“Why do you keep leaving? Why can't you just stay for once? Are we really that horrible that you can't stand being near us?” Killua was glaring at you now. Hurt evident in his eyes.

You knew they would eventually get fed up with you…but you didn't expect it this soon. You were the furthest thing from being prepared to handle this conversation. And it showed.

“What? Of course not. Where's all this coming from?” You questioned.

But Killua ignored it, not giving you the chance to change the subject.

“Then why!?! Why do you keep running away!?! Answer me! Do you even care about what we've been through this past month!?! How much we needed you!?!?” He couldn't stop the accusations from flowing out of his mouth. Too frustrated and angry to even try.

Taking everything he'd been bottling up out on you because there was no one else he could blame.

“Losing time and time again! Not being strong enough! Not being fast enough! Not being good enough! All the while wondering if you were okay! Where were you when Bisky was belittling me!?!? WHEN I NEEDED YOU!!!” His scream seemed to echo off the walls. Nothing but grief and hurt consumed his aura.

As if your absence was a betrayal of trust.

There were so many things you could've said. That you wanted to say. So many issues you could've addressed. So many worries you should've quelled. But you could feel yourself shutting down, mind choosing to focus on the wrong thing. The only one that didn't force you to take accountability. The one that was someone else's fault entirely. The one that you could fix.

“What do mean ‘belittling’? What did she say to you?”

Because your top priority would always be protecting them. Even if they ended up hating you for it.

But to Killua, it felt like you didn't give a damn at all. Your response after being told he needed you was to ask about Bisky? To once again try to change the subject? You didn't even try to comfort him.

You weren't trying, so why should he?

“It's none of your business.” It was quiet. Cold. Reminiscent of your own tone when you were mad.

The harshness temporarily caught you off guard. You don't think either of them had ever snapped at you before. But you couldn't let it deter you, not when you were finally getting to the root of the problem.

You knew Bisky had a habit of being cruel. Tough love was a better way to put it. And whereas you liked that about her back then, something about it now didn't feel right. Perhaps it was because you weren't as close to boys as you were now.

You weren't one to place blame, but whatever she said had pushed Killua too far. It made him insecure and distant. And if you just knew what exactly it was, you'd be able to help. To get rid of the issue and move past it.

So you moved closer, taking a small step forward. Trying to close the ever growing distance. You'd been through this song and dance before with your own sister. If you pushed any harder, he'd get upset. If you let it be, he'd resent you.

You'd rather have him yell at you for being a terrible person than have him suffer in silence.

“What did she say?” You tried again, voice softer. Another step forward.

But all you received in return was a glare before he was pushing past you. You should've let him. You should've given him the option to cool down. But you weren't thinking rationally right now. Too caught up in what the hell was said to this kid to make him act this way.

You. You and your absence.

“We're not done here.” You stopped him with a grab on his wrist. He flinched at your touch. Like you were gonna hit him. But the reaction happened too fast for you to catch.

“I didn't want to have to do this. I'm calling in my favor from Greed Island. Tell me what she said right now.”

His eyes widened, staring at you in disbelief. You said you wouldn't force him to talk about it, and here you were.

Liar.

Why? Why were you trying so hard to find out what Bisky said? Why did that matter more to you than him? Why was that the only thing you were focused on???

Why were you still pretending like you cared.

“You wanna know what she said so badly?” He couldn't stop the tears pinpricking his eyes. He couldn't disguise the hurt and anguish in his voice. But maybe he wanted you to know how much this affected him. To see exactly what was indeed your fault.

“SHE SAID THAT I WAS WEAK! THAT I WAS A COWARD! THAT ALL I'M DOING IS HOLDING GON BACK! SHE SAID IF I DIDN'T WIN I'D HAVE TO STAY OUT OF YOUR LIVES!!! DON'T YOU GET IT!?! SHE SAID I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH!”

Your heart aches for him then. It all made sense now. The grief whenever he was around Gon. The sadness, the dark suffocating feeling of depression.

You wished you could've been faster at saying something. Of speaking words that would quell every worry. But it felt like you were stuck.

Because right now…all you could see was her.

Your sister who'd been taken far too soon from this world. The one who never really fit in with the rest of your clan. Who was different because to the rest of your people, she hadn't been good enough.

Who'd been told by the head of the clan that she was holding you back. That she was a burden.

It wasn't the exact same, but it felt familiar. You knew the effects of being told ‘you're no good.’ How it made someone doubtful of their own feelings and actions. Whether or not they deserved to have what they did.

You knew the right words to say, but they were stuck in your throat. You were used to seeing her eyes, but you were far from ready to see her fears as well.

It was too late when you finally found your voice again.

“Killua, you know that's not true. You are-” more than enough. But you never got the chance to finish. Perhaps if you'd been faster, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.

“STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU CARE! IF YOU CARED YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ABANDONED US! WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY GONE THIS TIME!”

He didn't mean it. He could never mean that. Wanting to take the words back once they were spoken. But once again, it was too late.

You could take a lot. You had taken a lot. You could handle being yelled at. You could handle it when you were called a disgrace. A brat. A horrible person. A bitch, and so much more.

You could handle being hit. Being stabbed. Shot at. If you tried hard enough, being around blood.

You could put up with just about anything if it involved someone you cared about.

But what you couldn't handle was having your actions called into question. You knew when you were wrong. When you made a mistake. When you were being disingenuous. You knew you weren't a good person, but to be told you were pretending just because Killua was upset….

Accusing you of not caring?

After everything.

Everything you'd done, every decision you'd made since Greed Island was because you did care. You were willing to die. You were willing to break your promise to someone who had been your world.

It made you upset.

You were tired of it always being your fault. You were tired of being the one who always had to fix everything.

Why were you even here?

Because they'd both inserted themselves into your life. You didn't ask for this. To carry every burden they had. To be a scapegoat everytime something went wrong.

You'd been living for yourself. Surviving. And you were doing just fine. You were safe.

And now you were here. Risking your own neck for a kid who was blaming you for not being strong enough. Blaming you for his failures.

You were frustrated and angry. Tired and drained. If you had to guess why your patience wore down so easily, you'd say it must've been the stress. From the previous month or from Palm, you couldn't say. Maybe it had to do with having a screaming match this early in the morning, too. But whatever it was, you finally snapped.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!?! I'M TRYING, I AM TRYING MY DAMN BEST BUT I CAN'T JUST FIX EVERYTHING! SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO!?! TELL ME! SINCE YOU'RE SO KEEN ON POINTING OUT EVERYTHING THAT I’M DOING WRONG!”

You'd never yelled at either of them before. You'd never gotten this mad. And the sight was frightening. Killua never expected to be on the receiving end of your anger. He never thought he could. But he'd pushed you to your limit.

Then you said something that cut deep. That broke his heart entirely and shattered it. He'd started this, deciding to take out everything on you even though it wasn't your fault. But you'd be the one to finish it.

“I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING MOM AND I'M NOT YOUR DAD! SO STOP TRYING TO FORCE EVERYTHING ON ME LIKE I AM! YOU THINK I WANTED TO BE STUCK WITH YOU!?!?”

You shouldn't have said that. You really shouldn't have. Regretting the words as soon as they left your lips. It didn't matter how frustrated you were, you shouldn't have lost your cool with him. He was just a kid. One who hadn't been able to learn how to deal with his emotions. Who'd been denied the chance to.

“I didn't m-”

“I hate you.” He cut off.

Words you thought you'd never hear again. Spoken with so much venom it hurt. How could this be happening to you again? Why?

"I hate you.”

"You don't mean that." Your voice was pleading.

"I hate you. Just go away. Run away to Reik like you always do. You love him more than me anyways."

What did you do to deserve this again? Thirteen years later and you still didn't know how to handle it. But you said you'd be okay with them hating you as long as they were safe. You thought you could handle that.

But you could feel yourself breathing faster. Shaking with an unfamiliar feeling. Desperation? You tried to approach him again, but he seemed to recoil from your being.

Killua was right. You didn't love him. It was all an act. Everything was all an act. How foolish could he have been to think you actually cared about him.

But you'd promised. You promised to be there.

He made a dash for the restroom, trying to wipe his eyes as he shut the door. You were supposed to be different. You weren't supposed to shout at him like his mother. Fight with him like Milluki. Hurt him like Illumi. But you were just like his family. Using him for your own personal gain. Or had it all just been amusing to you?

All he had left was Gon.

But maybe he was using him too.

“Killua, unlock the door.”

He startled at the sound of the knob twisting. Knowing very well you could break down the door if you wanted to. Why couldn't you just leave him alone?

You didn't want to be stuck with him, after all.

“Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just…This morning has been a lot. Everything's been a lot. Please, just let me explain. Talk to me.”

You sounded defeated. And a part of him wasn't satisfied with that. He wanted you to feel just as hurt as he was. He was used to arguing without boundaries. To saying whatever would get the other person the worst. And right now, he wanted to make you cry just as badly as you were making him.

“I hate you. And after we deal with the ants, I never want to see you again. You can stay with your boy toy for all I care. Just stay out of my life.”

He was making things worse. But he couldn't stop.

“You don't mean that.”

“You're right…I want you to stay away from both of us. You can't even fight anyways. You'd just continue to be a burden.”

Now that, he knew that would get you the most. You'd always tried to compensate for your fighting by using your tracking ability. You'd always pushed yourself to keep up. You did everything you could so you wouldn't hold them back.

But he didn't know it was too far. That it was the last straw.

'If you can't hold your own weight, then you serve no purpose.'

'You don't want to be weak and pathetic like Kari, do you?'

'There is no bigger burden to the clan than someone who jeopardizes their mission. You should understand, little one. Your strength is a gift. Don't weigh it down with your fears.'

A burden huh?

When were you ever not trying to be one?

You were a coward too.

You'd had enough. You were done trying. You didn't have it in you to keep fighting.

You were wrong, he wasn't anything like her.

Kari never blamed you. She never told you it was your fault. In fact, she told you the opposite. That she was the one holding you back. That you were this untouchable star who shouldn't be dimmed by someone like her.

And in that moment, if someone would have given you the choice between her or them... You would have chosen her. Because while she wasn't strong, while she wasn't the fastest, while she couldn't use nen for the life of her… She was enough. Her love was certain and warm. If you asked her what was wrong, she'd tell you.

She wouldn't have called you a burden.

He wanted you gone? Then you would leave. You were so tired of caring. Of giving everything and receiving nothing.

“... You got it. You won't have to worry about seeing me again after today.”

You walked away. Unable to hear the muffled sniffles through the door. Coming from someone who realized this was a very big mistake. Who wanted to take everything back.

You sat down on your bed, giving one drained sigh. When did your life become so complicated? Your day had just started and already you were on edge.

You'd been in arguments before. You'd been told you were hated before.

You would be just fine. You just had to figure things out.

Where would you go when the day was over?

The answer was simple. You'd go back to your clan…And then you'd be executed for being a traitor.

You were tired. Tired of everything. Tired of putting so much effort into surviving. Maybe you could plead your case?

'I don't care what you choose to do with me, but honor your former clansmen’s last wish, will ya? Kill some ants for me and make sure my friends are okay.’

Reik would honor it, if you got the chance to speak. He wasn't so cruel that he'd kill you immediately. Everything would be taken care of. And maybe you'd be able to rest in peace.

Yeah.

That sounded like a good plan.

You'd go on this stupid date and leave.

But what about your promise? The one that you even bothered living for in the first place. You couldn't keep it if you were….

You didn't believe in a higher power. Not after everything that you've witnessed in this life. However, you wanted to believe there was something after. That she was waiting for you. Though you knew you'd both end up in completely different places.

You didn't believe in ghost or demons. No, not really. But right now, you wanted to believe she'd listen when you talked. The only person you could confide in wasn't here, but somehow you hoped she'd hear you.

You had nobody else. Speaking into the abyss and praying somehow you'd feel better.

“I'm sorry I couldn't continue on for the both of us…But I'm so damn tired of trying. I've never been the best with people, and you know that.” you and her were alike in that way.

“I'm just….a disgrace…no matter what I do.”

You didn't even notice the tears sliding down your cheeks. You couldn't feel them.

“Hell, I developed a new ability just for it to go to waste. It's almost laughable how even when I'm trying my best, I'm still a failure.” Pathetic. Weak.

You placed a hand on your forehead as you remembered something.

“I never got to do all those things we wanted. Everything we said we would do when we were free. How about this…I'll give today my all. One good day for you. Of pretending to be who I used to.”

You were sure if anyone walked in on you right now, they'd think you were crazy. Yet you continued to talk. Self-loathing and having a pity party for yourself.

You never did deserve to be upset.

“Remember I used to smile a lot? I used to talk everyone's ear off, too. And fight. I never could stay out of those. It'll be like old times. I'll make a real effort before…. Before I come see you.” And the promise of seeing her face again, her mess of curls and honey colored eyes, it was enough incentive to go through with it.

So you finally shut down. Body operating on autopilot.

—--------------------—------

Fun Fact #15: In terms of power, Y/n (without holding back/with proper focus) ranks about as strong as one of the royal guards. But with their current limitations is only about as strong as Morel. Maybe Illumi (Even though he absolutely sucks 👎)

MASTERLIST

Tags: @fandomhoe101 @justxiao @bekataylorgriggs @zellwa

An: Cutting this off here so I can hopefully make a Christmas special. To give at least a little bit of fluff because the chapters???? They don't get happier 💀. Well maybe a little. I don't know, we'll see how much I decide to traumatize y'all in the upcoming chapters. And if you thought the fight with Killua was bad, the one with Gon I have planned is just pure sadness. Sorry I've been neglecting you, I wanted to vary my content a bit. That and huger chapters like this take a lot of my brain power to do.

[not-goldy]

Letter lyrics hitting me hard in the face right now & make even more sense now. "Don't worry, just stay by my side. We don’t know what the future holds. And that’s scary and makes us afraid, But don’t forget that we’re always together." Jikook have probably had this enlistment together thought out for a long time. They're scared, but they know they have each other, even in their darkest days. My blood pressure cannot handle this.

Jikook would rather serve together, endure all the challenges & all the risks, then to be without EO. I don't have words, honestly. The first few weeks of training are the hardest. The training & adjustment to military life/schedule. It takes a toll on you mentally & Jikook chose EO to go through it with. They had options to do alone or even do with Tae, both of them did, but they chose EO. They did it to rely on EO for comfort And shippers who are mad, wanna downplay their decision & make excuses cause its not your ship that you were begging to enlist together. Sorry You can't. No excuses this time. If this is true & it really does happen I think a lot of people will slowly open their eyes to Jikook. This isn't something small, its a big life decision they made together, to be together, to serve together, even if its only for the first few weeks in the beginning (which are the hardest). They wanna get through the hard time together. Its either gonna break them having to watch each other go through all that horrendous stuff both mentally and physically or its gonna make them stronger or both. Jk's biggest challenge will be trying to not intervene. We see how Jk flinches if JM jumps up and sometimes jumps up with him on instinct. Resisting the urge to take over for JM if something is too hard, something Jk has done for years, but they'll get through it. They're professionals & knows the other can handle themselves.

Also, saying Jkk are making this out to be a honeymoon. FUCK YOU. This is what y'all were doing for months about your own ship and wanting them to enlist. Vmin shippers, minimoni shippers, Tkk & YM shippers. Wanna see the receipts, cause I got them. Actually, we crying, throwing up and fucking terrified for Jikook, even if they do go together. Unlike you all, we support two queer men who are going into an extremely homophobic environment with an already target on their back. Shame on you for not even mustering up enough love in your heart to support them the way deserve. You will be the ones to burn and rot and hell, not us. Your souls will never see heaven. I promise you. Just know Jikook's love, whatever type of love it is, outweighs your hate and there is nothing you can do about it.

Listen.... you are talking bout Jimin's lyrics.

This is Jungkook:

we'll survive the test of time

They can't deny our love

They can't divide us, we'll survive the test of time

I promise I'll be right here

Standing next to you

Standing in the fire next to you, oh

You know it's deeper than the rain

It's deeper than the pain

When it's deep like DNA

Something they can't take away, ayy

Take-take-take-take-take-take off

golden like the sun and the moon (you already know)

YES JUNGKOOK WE KNOW KILL US WITH THE SHIP STREET PARLANCE 💜 FINISH US MORTAL KOMBAT STYLE

HOLD MY WIG ANON

You don started something

Now I gotta cook. Hold on

[klarolinexluv]

Labyrinth by Taylor Swift, Wolfstar / Jegulus breakdown (Part 1)

inspired by @star-and-moon-shipper

“It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus thinking that Sirius would never feel the same way about himself that he feels about him.

But it’s Remus after Sirius tells Snape about the Whomping Willow.

But it’s Remus forgiving Sirius even though his betrays still hurts.

But it’s Remus when Sirius thinks him the spy. But it’s Remus when Sirius is thrown into Azkaban and is labeled the traitor.

But it’s Remus spending 12 years homeless, alone, hurt and betrayed by the only person he was in love with.

But it’s Remus feeling guilty that he didn’t believe Sirius was innocent until the proof was right in front of him.

But it’s Remus helping Sirius through nightmares of Azkaban, of war, of his childhood, etc, just like he did when they were kids.

But it’s Remus when he gets Sirius to laugh for the first time in 14 years.

But it’s Remus when he has to watch Sirius be killed, has to stop Harry from doing something reckless, has to push everything he feels aside to focus on protecting Harry (as he should tbh).

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus thinking that he could never be loved by someone like James.

But it’s Regulus knowing that he and James could never work out.

But it’s Regulus taking the dark mark and joining the death eaters, betraying James to ‘protect’ him

But it’s Regulus pretending he doesn’t care when he shows James what he did.

But it’s Regulus when he walks away from James for the last time, leaving no room for doubt that they are over.

But it’s Regulus when he has to pretend that he doesn’t feel anything when he sees James move on with Lily.

But it’s Regulus fighting on the opposite side of a war to the love of his life.

But it’s Regulus, fighting his entire life and never stopping, fighting even when he discovered Voldemorts secret, fighting until it kills him.

“Breathe in, breathe through

Breathe deep, breathe out

I’ll be getting over you my whole life”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, after the prank.

But it’s Remus, after the war.

But it’s Remus, after Sirius’ death.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, when he realises he will betray James.

But it’s Regulus, when he takes the mark.

But it’s Regulus, when he shows James his dark mark, James begging him, telling him he forgives him, Regulus walking away for the last time, leaving no doubts that they are over.

But it’s Regulus, fighting on the opposite side of the war, fighting against the love of his life.

But it’s Regulus, thinking of James, standing in the sun for the last time before marching to his death.

“You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can’t last”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, and how quickly he falls in love with Sirius the first time.

But it’s Remus, falling harder and faster for Sirius the second time, after the prank.

But it’s Remus, falling again for Sirius when he sees him for the first time in 12 years.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, scared to love but falling terribly for James the moment James decided to try and be his friend, the moment James smiles at him like he was important.

But it’s Regulus, getting swept away in everything, their relationship moving fast and quick and breaking just as easily.

“Uh oh, I’m falling in love”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, realising for the first time that his feelings for Sirius are more than just platonic.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, realising his feelings for James are stronger than just physical attraction.

“Oh no, I’m falling in love again”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, forgiving Sirius after the prank and coming to find that he fell for him all over again.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, realising that he is in a lot deeper than he ever imagined he could be (he isn’t sure he likes it).

“Oh, I’m falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How’d you turn it right around”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, realising he has fallen hard and fast for Sirius all over again even after 12 years of pain and separation.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, watching James break apart in front of him, begging him to not do this to him, forgiving him even.

But it’s Regulus, seeing James on the battle field and knowing that his feelings haven’t changed.

But it’s Regulus, seeing James physically hesitate when he sees Regulus.

But it’s Regulus, writing James a letter before he goes to the cave that he never sends.

“It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, fighting with Sirius for the first time after the prank.

But it’s Remus, November 1st reading the daily prophet to find out that Sirius was the traitor.

But it’s Remus, the day after Sirius death, sitting in silence in Grimmauld Place, staring blankly at the wall.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, locking himself in abandoned classrooms to cry after breaking up with James.

But it’s Regulus, pretending to be fine because nobody knew about him and James, pretending to be unbothered, pretending that nothing happened whilst dying inside.

“Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, going through the five stages of grief after the prank only for Sirius to continue to try and make him smile.

But it’s Remus, unable to stop himself from laughing at Sirius jokes just as he has always done.

But it’s Remus, going through the five stages of grief when Sirius was sentenced to Azkaban and staring at a photo of Sirius and James cackling together with himself in the background smiling at them fondly.

But it’s Remus, happy that Sirius is happy after escaping Azkaban.

But it’s Remus, going through the five stages of grief when Sirius dies, begging to some god he doesn’t believe in to bring him back just so he can laugh at one of Sirius’ jokes one more time.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, going through of that shit at home only to come back to Hogwarts and have James cheer him up in the only way James can.

But it’s Regulus, grieving a relationship that isn’t even over yet and smiling at James because James doesn’t know that this will end.

But it’s Regulus, grieving a relationship he knew was always going to end this way and wishing he could just talk to James and feel something other than hurt and pain and loss (he doesn’t though, he wouldn’t dare do that).

But it’s Regulus, seeing James happy, making Lily laugh just how James used to make him laugh.

“You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back

Just like that”

Wolfstar: But it’s Remus, thinking of Sirius after the prank.

But it’s Remus, thinking of Sirius after the first war.

But it’s Remus, thinking of Sirius after his death and seeking comfort in Tonks.

Jegulus: But it’s Regulus, putting on a brave face after coming back to Hogwarts after the worst holiday at home and just wanting to see James.

But it’s Regulus, putting on a brave face after waking away from James after showing him the dark mark.

But it’s Regulus, putting on a brave face as he walks to his death, as he betrays his master.

Thank you.

part 2

marauders as Taylor Swift lyrics: prev || first

[ikamigami]

You know, I think I’d be okay with Sun being a little jealous of Solar, but of course he knows it’s not appropriate to say in front of Moon, but think about it:

Out of the whole family he and Solar were the least connected, when Solar showed up Sun sort of just disappeared to the house, he got side-lined(to use a SU term, locked in the barn)

(and no I do not count this as “recovery” because a recovery arc doesn’t COUNT if it’s offscreen, also you’re telling me that a social butterfly like Sun would gain anything from being alone in his house all day for days on end and the only time someone visits is when they need something or in the case of Puppet barges their way in uninvited? No you’d probably go crazy or at least be very lonely)

Not only that but Moon started spending a lot of time with Solar and I mean a LOT, and that in it of itself isn’t terrible, he and Solar connected a lot so of course they would, and if Sun felt left out or jealous Solar and Moon have such a strong connection and Moon prefers spending time with Solar he’s not going to say anything because that would be rude and CRUEL, and Solar never seemed to like Sun or at least never made much connection with him

Jealousy is an ugly emotion yes, but see how Sun didn’t use it as an excuse to inflict hurt? He wouldn’t dare share it because he know it wasn’t appropriate, and when processing with Jack he’s doing this alone, not in front of Moon, Lunar, or Earth, he knows it’d hurt their feelings because he’s considerate like that (MOON)

And I bet the feeling might be stronger now or he’s questioning it now that Moon made it clear he’d burn the world and claim it was for Solar, kill them all supposedly for Solar, even though it’s far from being about Solar anymore, one could be forgiven for wondering if Moon found Solar more important than all of them, since to pursue his plan he’d damage the universe, push them all away, and then by that point it’s not about Solar anymore, even if that isn’t it from the beginning it would sure feel like it

And what? Sun’s not allowed to feel an ugly emotion? Oh right, he’s not allowed to be selfish because it always backfires, because every time he’s sad people force him to smile, when he’s mad he gets “You’re no better than Eclipse” or gets locked in a box thrown in his face, “get over it”, “be happy”, “stop bothering me”, meanwhile Moon over here can verbally degrade his family, try to BBQ Earth and show no remorse for it, and shack up with Dark Sun to start building god-knows-what kind of death machines or whatever he’s doing and be fine

It may not be jealousy because he also missed Solar and it hurt seeing Moon so sad, so that could be it, but even if it is jealousy, I’m not bothered

Also to make it abundantly clear I’m not blaming Solar at all, or Moon before his fall for this, before anybody gets angry

You're absolutely right, dear anon 👏

I also think that Sun definitely felt/feels a bit jealous of Solar's relationship with Moon but like you said he thinks that it's wrong to feel this way.. and I understand that cause I felt the same way many times..

But this is exactly what also strengthen Sun's feelings about himself that he's bad because how dare he feel this way, ugly way..

But at the same time he also feels like a waste of space and that he's useless to Moon and that he's awful brother to Moon.. and these feelings only apmlified with feeling of jealousy because he's definitely a bad brother if he feels jealous..

[officialleehadan]

Eyes Met

Once Cursed

+++

“There’s a rumor, one of the old nobility is in the castle.”

Sorsha was helping in the gardens today, complete with a wide-brimmed hat that shaded her from the sun. Niala was beside her. The castle’s maids rotated through every position they could hold through the course of a moon. It looked random from the outside, but really it was a carefully-designed dance that made sure none of them were near Naevelon more than once or twice a month.

She was sure it was infuriating for him, and honestly, she really wasn’t terribly sympathetic to his plight. Until she was sure he wasn’t going to kill her on sight, she intended to stay hidden.

“Who is it?” she asked curiously. They carried a basket between them. It was time to harvest the peas. The morning was spent picking them. Now she and Niala were busy shelling the sweet green peas into a large bowl for Master Tassaros.  It was lazy work, seated in the fresh grass under a blooming apple tree, but they had been in the laundry all week. The light work was welcome. “Did you catch a name?”

“Only that it was a duke,” Niala said regretfully and dropped another handful of peas into the bowl. “One of the old ones.”

Hope filled Sorsha’s heart. There weren’t that many of the really old nobility left, and most died in Maeve’s massacre. Still, there were a few who hadn’t been in he castle, and one who, if he had been here, might have turned the tide in their favor.

“Can you finish the peas?” she asked with a look into their basket. They were mostly done, but there was another hour or so of work left. She didn’t doubt that Niala would be pleased for a little extra time in the gardens, but it was still polite to ask. Sorsha was careful to always ask her fellow maids. Maybe they would take her commands, but it wouldn’t be worth driving away the friends she needed so badly. “I think I need to know who it is.”

“I figured you would,” Niala said and waved her off. “Swap me your had for my head-scarf. The pale in your hair is starting to show.”

Sorsha winced. Her hair had always grown fast. Currently that was a problem, as it meant whatever they colored her hair with faded or grew out quickly and revealed the gold of her hair. She checked to make sure her tight braid was in place, and took Niala’s head scarf to hide the rest. When she was sure it was all covered, she handed over her hat.

“Good luck,” Niala said, still busy with the peas. “Come back when you’re done, we have more out here to do.”

“I will,” Sorsha promised. The work needed to be done, and for now, that meant she had to pull her weight. She would never again take the good food she ate for granted. Not now that she knew how much work it was to grow and make it. “I’ll meet you in the kitchens.”

It wasn’t far to the castle from their spot in the kitchen gardens, and Sorsha was having a good day with her curse. Her breath came easily, and she felt stronger than usual. It was a blessing on a day that she needed to be sneaking around where she ought not to be.

The castle was quiet today. The servants were all focused on their work. It was after lunch but still a while until dinner service, so there wasn’t much for anyone to do in the immediate. Sorsha paused to grab a laundry basket from the mending room on her way past. It was always better to be seen carrying something. A servant who was somewhere they weren’t supposed to be should always have a reason to be there. Collecting the mending was always a safe reason. The mending was eternal.

On through the castle she went, and stopped here and there to gather up the mending- might as well do the chore for real on her way- as she worked her way towards the noble quarters.

Even with a legitimate chore to explain her presence, Sorsha was careful to duck out of the way as soon as she heard voices, noble voices, coming towards her.

Her heart sank when it turned out not to be the duke she was seeking, whoever he was, but Naevelon and Maeve. They kept the careful distance of enemies between them. Sorsha knew by now that there was no love lost in their family. Naevelon didn’t particularly want to kill Maeve, but he would if she crossed him. Maeve, of course was vicious, and did not appreciate being ousted as queen. Still, she was unlikely to kill Naevelon outright. Not and risk their Imperial father’s wrath.

Even so, being seen by either of them was a danger she couldn’t afford.

Worse, there was nowhere to hide, and running would get their attention.

Instead, she sank into a low curtsy as they passed and kept her head down as if she was shy, which she wasn’t, or afraid, which she was.

“If you cross Duke Callum, he will kill you,” Naevelon was saying as they walked. Sorsha’s heart lifted. She knew Callum well, and trusted the old hero. She could ask for no finer ally, and he would surely be willing to help her. “He is not the harmless old man he appears and I have already sent word to Father of his presence. Do not think you can attempt to kill him and get away with it.”

“I would never,” Maeve said, a silken liar as always, but also irritated that her brother stole a march on her. Not, Sorsha thought, that Maeve could do much about Callum. He was the finest swordsman to ever live, but he was still a fine hand with magic. Fine enough to ward off most of Maeve’s tricks. He was also too old for her to simply seduce. Sorsha fought the urge to run from her tormentor. Maeve was close, too close, and she knew Sorsha’s face. “Not and risk your glorious departure from this land.”

“Do not assume you will be staying when I go,” Naevelon said sharply. He passed Sorsha almost close enough to touch. For a moment, she hoped she was safe. When the prince paused suddenly, her breath caught in her throat. “You. Girl. Look at me.”

“Your highness!”

An aged voice snapped from down the hall. Duke Callum walked into view, tottering as always, aided by his cane. Both the totter and the cane were, Sorsha knew well, illusions he could banish at will. From the sounds of things, Naevelon had figured that out as well.

For now, however, he provided the escape she hadn’t dared hope for. For a single moment, she met Callum’s eyes and received a lightning-quick wink in return.

The old hero knew exactly what he was doing, and who she was. He would come find her when he was ready.

Until then, her only job was not to be caught.

She could do that.

On silent, slippered feet, she ducked into the nearest of the noble rooms, empty for the moment and made for the servant’s passages from there.

Help had come at last.

+++

Once Cursed: (FULL COLLECTION)

Dance of Blades

Into the Underbrush (Subscriber Only!)

Behind the Walls

Changing Names (Subscriber Only!)

Fallen Down the Stairs

Stone-Faced

Careful Mending 

Old Warning (Subscriber Only!)

Old Warriors (NEW!)

Eyes Met (NEW!)

+++

MASTERLIST

[donnetellotheturtle]

Siren

Chapter 5

Hugo needed to find a way out of here. They’d been there for days, only drinking and eating what they had to to survive. Hugo counted himself lucky that Andrew hadn’t laced the food with anything. Yet.

Still, it was gnawing at him. It had been almost a week since he’d been in the sea. It felt like it was calling him home. And God did he want to go fucking home.

“Hugo?” Varian said at the beginning of day 6. Varian touched Hugos arm. “You don’t look good and…you’re really warm.”

Shit. Is this what happens when he doesn’t get into the sea? Hugo was feeling weak. God he hadn’t even seen the moon since that night. Hed never been away this long. Being on top of it was just the fucking cherry on top. Being so close he could litteraly smell it yet unable to get in.

“Whats happening? Was there something in the food?”

Hugo couldn’t answer. He’d woken up feeling weak and horrible. Like he’d been crushed by a whale. Hard. And then the whale backed up and crushed him again. Even his throat was feeling like it would crumble if he tried to make noise.

Varian caught Hugo as he collapsed down.

“S…..sea…..” He managed to choke out.

“See what?”

“W-Wa…wa….”

Varian obviously didn’t know how to help. Hugo was going to die here. He was convinced of it. He was going to die on this stupid pirate ship on top of water.

Ruddiger came over to Hugo, nuzzling him softly. He gave a weak smile.

“…I need to call for help.”

He shook his head. He’d rather die than ask Andrew for help. The jostling made him dizzy.

Hugo grabbed onto Varians arm, whispering. “Do….nt call…that fucker.” He wheezed out.

Then the door opened. Ruddiger hissed. One of crew members grinned at Hugos state.

“Hey captain you’ll want to see this!” She yelled up. Hugo internally swore. Seeing Varians terrified face made it worse.

Andrew came down, and grinned. Just like the crew person had done before him. This place was just full of assholes. He whistled.

Hugo was suddenly grabbed from Varian.

“Hey! Let him go!”

The siren was hoisted up by the arms and dragged. He heard Varian and Ruddiger yelling out and hissing respectively. His stomach churned. Of he had any food in it, he might have thrown up.

The bright sun made Hugo wince. Though he felt better slightly. The smell of the sea air made him want to jump right in.

“I suspected it before.” Andrew said. “But didn’t think it was true.”

Hugo glared.

“Youre a siren.”

Hugo smirked. “Wow I can’t believe you figured it out.” He said sarcastically. His voice was hoarse but he made sure to put as much venom and sarcasm in it as he could. “Want a cookie?”

Andrew slapped him across the face. Oh so that’s how it was.

“Why are you with the kid?”

“Classified.” Hugo said. Every minute was making his sick body tad bit stronger.

Andrew punched him in the stomach.

“Really? That’s all you got? Coward.”

Another slap. Harder this time. He just had to antagonize him enough to draw blood. Then it was the problem of getting it dripped into the sea, but he’d cross that bridge when he got there.

Cyrus had taught him this trick a while back when they had been attacked by pirates, not unlike this crew when he was 8.

A single drop of blood in the sea would send a message through the waves to his kin. His and Varians' kidnapping had been too chaotic to think about it. But now he had a plan.

He was going to drown this fucker.

“I could kill you if I wanted to.”

Hugo laughed. “I’d like to see you try. Even in my ahem weakened state.” Take the bait. Take the bait.

His face was sliced open by Andrews knife. It was going to leave a nasty scar, but he was bleeding. Silver blood spilled down his face. All that was left to do was get a drop of it into the sea.

“Youre lucky this is all you get. Take him back to the brig.”

They hoisted Hugo up. He had an opportunity. With all his might he shoved hard against his captors, and managed to slip out of their grips. He ran to the side of the ship, wiped his cheek, and threw the blood into the water.

Not a second too soon as he was grabbed again and shoved to his knees.

“what the fuck was that!?” Andrew asked.

Hugo said nothing, just smirking. He didn’t know what was coming to him.

“Answer me, siren!”

He met eyes with Andrew. “You’re going to fucking die.”

--

Varian was pacing. He was worried about Hugo. He hoped the dumbass didn’t get himself killed.

Who was he kidding Hugo was probably already dead.

He heard a commotion and Andrew yelling, then it went quiet.

Then the door opened and an unconscious, bleeding Hugo- Silver blood? -was thrown into the cell.

“Your boyfriend here just fucked us over.” Andrew said. “Youre lucky he’s not dead.”

The cell door slammed shut. Then the door upstairs after a moment.

Hugo groaned. Varian noticed he looked slightly better. It wasn’t much of an improvement but it was something. Varian held him close

Then his eyes opened. Varian had never been more relieved.

“Youre alive.”

“Yeah…and we’re getting help.”

“Hugo, your blood…its-”

He wiped his cheek. “Remember that conversation of there’s some things I don’t want to talk about?’

“…Yeah?”

“This is one of them.”

Varian frowned. “This isn’t the time to be cagey with me!”

“isn’t it? I got us help so drop it, goggles.”

“And what is this help? Who’s coming? And how the hell did yo-“

“I can’t tell you!”

“Why not!?” Varian glared at Hugo. Hugo refused to look at the other boy.

“…I just can’t. So drop it.”

Varian growled a bit, and then stood up, walking to the corner and putting his head in it.

“…what are you doing?”

“I’m mad at you so I’m not looking at you.”

Hugo couldn’t help but laugh a little. “you look pathetic, goggles. Like you’re in time out.”

Ruddiger rubbed up agaisnt Varians legs.

“….I just want to know what’s going on.”

Hugos smile fell. “I know. How about this? When my friends pick us up I’ll explain everything.”

Varian looked at him. “promise?”

Hugo nodded, a pit growing in his stomach knowing exactly what Donella and Cyrus planned to do.

“I promise.”

--

Cyrus frowned. The wages crashed in his ears. It gave him a message few merpeople could understand. The skill that he’d taught his family was rare even for the best of warriors.

“I’m in trouble. This is my only option. It’s only a matter of time before they kill us.”

Hugo.

Cyrus gripped his trident with a sigh. What had his boy gotten into now? He concentrated, finding the ship.

He was going to drown those pirates. And have fun doing it.

< >

Read this on A03!

[colourstreakgryffin]

Aaaa dad!Douma seriously melted my heart. The way he spoils her 🥹🥲

It wasn’t something I realized I wanted, but omg I can’t live without it! It’s got me thinking… what would the other Upper Moons be like if they adopted their own baby demon?

Politely requesting Koku adopting demon!Muichiro please 💗✨

Hmmm! Okay! I’ll do this too! Like Kokushibo so this is no problem! Let’s hope that I can capture Kokushibo well enough!

What a interesting yet tragically sad situation this is. The one and only Mist Hashira of the Demon Slayer Corps end up being tricked and turned into a demon against his wishes. He manages to escape the slayers in no time and ends up running into the Upper Moon 1 himself, just before the sun came up

Kokushibo feels immense pity for the being in front of him. Coated in blood, wearing a shredded Demon Slayer uniform and starving as the demonic samurai decides to bring Muichiro to the infinity castle

That way. He can decide what he must do next. A Hashira turned demon have power already, combining Muichiro’s raw talent and potential, the boy was already on a Lower Moon level without eating a single human

And Kokushibo is beyond attracted to this fact. He goes against all his original thoughts as he and Muichiro arrive, and cements it that he’ll take Muichiro in and train him. He sees much potential and chance he has never seen in another demon

Kokushibo is a mixture of a teacher and a caretaker. He has Muichiro practice and practice until he can conjure his own Demon Blood Art whilst gaining strength through kills he assists with. For once in his entire demonic life, he feels such pride when he sees Muichiro produce a barrage of mist clouds from thin air

The boy’s a quicker learner than Kokushibo ever suspected. No wonder he was a Hashira before he got converted and forgot all about his human past, a especially young Hashira too

Kokushibo suspects Muichiro to be independent so he trains him, even though, he never brings him to any missions. He just wants to make sure his son student can take care of himself in combat if needed

Like a father Lion teaching his cub to hunt, the Upper Moon 1 becomes all for bringing his beloved student out occasionally to track down their next dinner together as he trains him in effective attacks and strategies with a katana

Yes, Kokushibo did manage to repair Muichiro’s destroyed Nichirin Katana for him to use as a reminder of his intense strength, and looks after it well. A demon wielding the enemy katana will show the enemies he doesn’t mess around

Kokushibo even got Muichiro a samurai outfit. He isn’t a Demon Slayer anymore, he is a powerful samurai such as himself so he’ll make sure that truth is drilled into the cloud-headed demon’s mind real firmly

He doesn’t spoil the younger demon in any form, other than food, as he sees no reason to treat Muichiro as his weaker inferior. To him, Muichiro has the biggest chance of becoming his successor and he does feel so excitement to have somebody to pass down his skills onto

It may seem less familiar and more professional but that’s solely because Kokushibo is far too reserved and stone-faced to let his emotions run wild… well, until after months of looking after Muichiro, does he begins feeling a new emotion for the younger demon, replacing the previous… Familiar love

Kokushibo takes a long while to willingly develop a further relationship with Muichiro from mere student and teacher and/or acquaintances but once he does, he is attached to him emotionally and confides to him about personal worries

Anything Kokushibo tells Muichiro is actually remembered as it goes back around for Muichiro to Kokushibo. Kokushibo gladly listens to Muichiro though, both are equally quiet so that’s perhaps why they bond so well

But at this rate, Kokushibo looks forward to return to the Infinity Castle where Muichiro awaits after a mission. He is always eager to see his future successor grow stronger and stronger each day, and he does consider getting him to battle lower slayers at times to see how far he is gone

Kokushibo does end up finding out that Muichiro is his descendant but it doesn’t really matter to him anymore, he begun viewing him as his long lost son in very little time

But, Muichiro’s insane power now makes sense to Kokushibo

Kokushibo is grateful towards past him for taking in the Hashira-turned demon in as he has made his previously monotone and repetitive life all the more interesting, till the point that he sees a real need to come back to the Infinity Castle faster. So he can talk to and care for Muichiro

Muichiro does begin viewing Kokushibo as his father after as long, if not a bit longer, and is protective of the hundred times stronger warrior. He finds the Upper Moons arguing with Kokushibo annoying and moronic with how the Upper Moon 1 is like

Unlike Douma with his beloved child, Kokushibo will, at one point, tell Muichiro everything he possibly can about the Upper Moon hierarchy and everything about the missions he must attend, why should he lie to the demon he cares intently for. It’s not like Muichiro is irrational over it ever, he actually appreciates his Sensei’s dedication

[imminent-danger-came]

Are there any clear parallels between Mei and Macaque other than they are/were the 'hero‘s closest friend'?

Like- MK and Wukong have similar storybeats and personality traits.

Same with Mei and Wukong.

(Even Azure and Mei have parallels. Containers for power. Azure‘s sword inspired her to make her own. There was a scene where they had the same battle ready pose. Azure‘s goal was to use the power of the emperor for something good, Mei thinks that power should be used for good whenever possible. Azure‘s first priority was trying to reunite the brotherhood, friends/family are very important to him too. Both willing to make sacrifices -like Wukong- to save the world, though Azure‘s method was admittedly less permanent than outright killing him.)

But other than the "Ugh, this guy." Facepalm Mei and Macaque did (at Ao Lie and Monkey King) in season 4, nothing springs to mind for me for this particular pair.

Macaque is cautious, Mei is the polar opposite of that. Macaque acts out of his own interest for the most part, for Mei, her friends (and the world) are priority.

Even looking at younger Macaque, from what little we‘ve seen, he was bit of a grouch, grumbling and half heartedly rolling his eyes at Wukong‘s antics. Whereas Mei is right there alongside MK being silly and goofing off.

(I‘m sorry for dragging the Warrior/Hero stuff back to the table, but with how often Mei is labeled as the Warrior in the fandom I would have thought there‘d be more. So I was wondering if I am just not very observant 😅)

First of all: never apologize for bringing up the Hero and the Warrior motif! I'd also like to thank you for your other thoughts, Azure and Mei parallels are always delicious.

Second of all: to quote my own Hero and Warrior meta, (mainly because I'm too lazy to rewrite anything):

"We know that the Warrior is someone who follows the hero, someone who is the moon to the Hero’s sun, someone who loves and looks up to the Hero. In this sense, the role of the Warrior is completely defined by the role of the Hero. [...] During the night, the Warrior is the moon that brings light to the world in the sun’s absence."

So, in regards to Mei being a Warrior to MK's Hero, I'd say she fits the bill pretty perfectly! "Together, there was nothing that could stop the two of them", and together MK and Mei are always going to be able to "figure it out". Even when MK isn't there or they're separated (particularly in 4x10), Mei and the gang are still going to step in and try and help (or be that light when the hero is absent).

Moving on: Mei and Macaque parallels.

I think the way Mei is treated by MK in s1-3 is reminiscent of both how Wukong treats MK during s2 and how Wukong treated Macaque in the past. MK ignores Mei—often letting his own reach for power affect his relationship with her, especially in episodes 1x06, 2x03, 2x06, and 3x03 (and honestly even 2x02). I'll just put shit MK does to Mei over Macaque dialogue lol:

Macaque: "Still the same Wukong—doing whatever he wants with no regard for others!" (3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

Macaque: "Look Wukong, I get you're excited, I do! But- crossing the Jade Emperor's going to have consequences—aaannnd you're not even listening." (4x02 New Adventures) (Thank you 2x03 for stating that MK doesn't listen outright. We owe you a lot.)

-

Macaque: "Wukong didn't think so—he always felt he had to be stronger, more immortal." (4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

Hopefully that demonstrates my point!

I'm also banking on whatever went down between Wukong and Macaque paralleling 3x10 (Ending with SWK choosing to leave Macaque while MK refused to leave Mei), but we'll have to see!

Ultimately however, I'd say that rather than parallels, Mei and Macaque are foils. They have some similarities, but there are also a lot of key differences between these two characters. Like anon mentioned, Macaque is cautious while Mei is foolhardy, Macaque looks out for himself while Mei works to protect others, Macaque prefers to watch and wait while Mei believes in taking action, Macaque turned against Wukong when Mei could never turn against MK.

But, in that same vein, I think they're in the process of becoming more like each other. Mei is learning to slow down and focus, to "harness the wild energies and emotions burning within" her—essentially to be more cautious. Macaque on the other hand is learning how to be a team player, and is starting to put himself on the line for other people:

While MK and Wukong have always been pretty similar/have made similar mistakes, it's interesting to watch their counterparts slowly become more like one another, but instead with their virtues.

Speaking of, Macaque's 2x07 line-

"As time went on, the hero obtained power beyond comprehension. As the hero’s light grew, so too did his shadow—and soon, the Warrior was cast into that shadow."

-has uh, started to worry me, mainly because I'd say that now, post-s4 MK has quite literally obtained power beyond comprehension:

And while 3x10 will always be important because of MK's choice to stay by Mei, I wonder if we're due for another ultimatum where MK doesn't make that right choice (*cough cough* he leaves in 4x08 mainly because he's afraid of hurting the people he cares about—something that is going to come back later *cough cough*). Or perhaps it's a role reversal, where Mei and the Gang have to decide whether or not to "abandon" MK (aka destroy the "harbinger of chaos", al la 3x04 Macaque Flashback).

[acopenhagenarmy]

Pairing Taehyung x reader 

abo!au - werewolf!au - magical!au

wordcount: 1099 

warnings: none for this chapter 

summary: he is haunted by the white wolf that occupy his dreams, but the mere thought of seeking out his mate scares him. Because what if you only were a dream? 

Part one 

Comment: What a hiatus huh? I’ve been gone for a while, havent updated, but i needed to find myself and my writing style. This is something I’ve been working for on quiet some time. Both writing and rewriting. I kind of like it. But as always, let me know what you think! Don’t be a silent reader, I really appreciate all the feedback. 

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He could feel the ground beneath his paws, and the cold winter breeze in his dark fur coat as he ran through the forest, underneath the pale light of that month's full moon. The subtle scent of summer rain and sandalwood was what had made him bail his brothers on their midnight run in the forest surrounding their family’s territory. 

He was still a cub. Still not strong enough to pick a fight with rogues or intruders, but his senses were better than most wolves his age and his curiosity was once again stronger than the fear of being killed. 

As he ran towards the clearing where he could hear the two wolves, they were closer to him now. They almost danced through the night as they chased each other onto the frozen lake. They were playing, having fun. He watched them as their crystal white fur made them shine as white as the snow around them or the full moon above them. 

They looked like two angels, two mythical creatures that shouldn’t be disturbed. So, he didn’t. Instead, he watched them from the shadows.

He was woken up abruptly by the sound of his brother pounding on his door. The dream always ended there, that was no surprise. The memory of that night by the lake was both crystal clear and hazy at the same time. He never knew how he’d gotten home, in fact no one did. His parents had sent out a search team that night after his brothers had returned without him. Only to find him in human form, tucked into bed in the early morning hours.

He stretched his arms above his head and scratched his eyes before yawning loudly. There was nothing in this world he hated as much as early morning runs. “YAH! Tae hurry up or I’ll send Jin up with a bucket” his brother Namjoon yelled when he didn’t get a reply from the youngest of the three. Taehyung shivered by the thought of the ice-cold water that had woken him more than once throughout his relatively short life. 

“I’m up! I’m up! No need for that today. Goddess...” he could hear a chuckle from his brother that was already halfway down the stairs. He knew he needed to hurry if he wanted anything to eat before their 50km morning run. He’d of course win no matter what, he always did, but he could use the extra energy since his two elders always tried to beat him.

He walked downstairs, his eyes still adjusting to the bright morning sun as he felt his stomach growl. His mother laughed, a loving and kind sound, as he stepped into the giant kitchen. Him and his closest family all lived in a huge house made by the very trees that had once stood in its place.

Their family had an open door policy, so wolves, both young and old would be coming and going throughout the day both to hang out, but also to get help from their Alpha and Luna.

“Same dream as always?” Seokjin said from the table near the big windows that were overlooking the terrace. 

Taehyung sighed as he answered: “you know it brother, nothing’s changed” 

His mother looked at her youngest with sympathetic eyes, as Seokjin rolled his own at his statement.

“I told you guys you should’ve forced him to see a therapist. White wolves... he might as well have told us all he’d been kidnapped by fairies” their mother quickly turned as she threw a waffle at the broad-shouldered man. He yelled out dramatically, earning attention from both his father and Namjoon as they walked in. 

“You don’t joke about fairies Seokjin, not as long as you live under my roof” his mother said with a stern look in her eyes. 

“You never know if they’re listening in, and none of us need that kind of bad luck. As for you my dear” she said as she walked over to Taehyung, “whatever creature, white wolf or fairy, you saw that night, you’re one lucky man. You were touched by the goddess that night, and that is a blessing” 

She ruffled his dark locks, showing off the patch of white hair that had appeared in the back of his neck after that midnight run, so many years ago. 

“Are the three of you done discussing the creatures of the night? We need to get going if we wanna make time for a good run before we leave” Namjoon asked from the place he had leaned against the dark marble countertop. 

Seokjin smiled smugly, as the sun broke the tree line surrounding the house, making him look almost as golden as his eyes. He quickly rose from his seat pushing Namjoon on the way out the door. He quickly followed him, determined to get a head start. 

Taehyung on the other hand didn’t rush, he took a bite of the waffle his mother had made for him and gave her a peck on the cheek before he whispered a quiet thank you. He then slowly strutted out the kitchen and down the hall out the front door, with such confidence that made both of his parents’ smile. 

The two of them were proud of their boys. They had raised them right. They were respectful to their elders and kind to those younger than them. Every day the three of them made their hearts burst with both pride and love. Their mother sighed before she whispered, a subtle question that only her husband was supposed to hear. 

“Do you think he’ll ever recover from that night Ji-hoon? Do you think the dreams of that night will ever stop haunting him?” 

Ji-hoon pulled his mate close to his chest as he nuzzled his head in the crook of her neck, the place he had marked her 20 years earlier. He breathed in her scent of vanilla and mango, the only thing in this world that could make both him and his wolf calm. 

“I have no idea Jee, I just hope that what ever happened to him that night, will one day bring him joy” 

They looked out the grand windows watching their youngest son turn into his wolf form in a millisecond, before he sprinted toward the edge of where the forest began. He was so fast and so determined to once again beat his brothers, that he looked more like a shadow than a wolf. The two parents stood in the window and looked at their youngest disappear, a little sting of worry in both of their hearts.

[nayruwu]

idk if you are into tarot cards but I've been thinking about which tarot card fits which character in ons & putting aside the obvious sun moon star world, I think the devil card really embodies guren while the temperance is so shinya in his life & mahiru being the tower to him. If you get time to look up the meanings & what these card means to one another then I would like to know your thoughts even if you associate other cards with them I am interested to know your views as you always come up with angsty gureshin analysis I love reading them. :D

hellooo! :D sorry this took so long, but my knowledge of tarot cards was essentially zero so i had to do some research. i read up on the three you mentioned and then also on the sun & the moon because they did pique my interest as well. and i like your thinking!

just looking at the card of the devil itself is already enough to link it to guren. it represents your raw instincts and giving in to those pure unfiltered desires. the balance between good and evil. that's very guren. he has a pure heart, he has noble goals and yet there was no choice for him but to fall into darkness to achieve them. there is no way for him to be simply "good". he could not walk on the right path because he was too human. (there's also two people, a man and a woman, depicted at the devils' side, said to have fallen under his magnetic presence. and if you take that less metaphorically than it's meant it is absolutely hilarious)

now when you actually get that card in a reading, it means that there's some form of negative presence in your life that you've fallen victim to and don't think you can ever free yourself from. most of the time, this means addictions, bad habits or relationships that hold you back from becoming what you're meant to be. i wonder who that could be! but what else stood out to me here was that "with The Devil, you are choosing the path of instant gratification, even if it is at the expense of your long-term well-being". okay. give in to that weakness now and suffer tremendously for the next nine years. yeahhh.

the temperance represents patience as well as staying grounded and calm. knowing your path, knowing the outcome and being at peace with it. and yeah, shinya is definitely that levelheaded counterpart. stay human, stay weak and accept that it will kill you. stop struggling, stop fighting. "bound by the earth and natural law" - "but it's not like i could break free of my human limitations and become some sort of god". (i think it's also cute that the person on this card is an angel.)

... and then the tower is just absolute chaos. realising suddenly and horrifyingly as everyone he loves does that his path is a lie, it cannot be treaded, and he is pulled onto mahiru's road of insanity. he is questioning himself, his beliefs and his purpose. although i can't quite bring myself to agree with the "it's for your highest good" part. the tower says you will suffer but come out of it stronger and better. yes, maybe mahiru's path will lead guren to his goal, but it really is questionable whether it will all have been worth it in the end. the guilt will never leave him, his relationship with shinya is fucked even if a miracle happens and they make up somehow, and pretty much everything mahiru has done to those around her to get this far is irredeemable. so i'm a little split on that end. i wonder how the story will handle it... if at all with the speed we're going at.

i also like the sun and the moon with their naïvety and repressed feelings, but you're right, those other three do fit better!

this was a blast. i hope i didn't interpret anything the wrong way :>

[stackthedeck]

What are your thoughts on the new Spiderverse run? I'm only reading it because of Cooper and I managed to find some bits here and there.

Have a good one!

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS! First off, there's never been a spider verse that I didn't enjoy because I just love all the creative spins that writers and artists put on the spider mantel!! And usually, a spider verse run means that at least one of the new spiders will get their own mini series or even a full run (Spider-Gwen and Spider-Punk my beloved)

okay this got long specific thoughts and minor spoilers under the cut

And I love the five issue series of end of the spider-verse because all the new spiders are so cool!! And I think the evil wasps work really well because it allows us to check in on the other spiders we know and love but they're turned evil so that we can focus on the new spiders! It's a very visually engaging villain and it really doesn't need to be that complicated for an end of the multiverse story you know

I love Web Weaver more than words can I express I have not stopped thinking about Cooper since I read his issue!! I just want him to have a mini series after all this is over marvel please I will write it!! I think he honestly has the strongest introduction out of all the new spiders because he actually does stuff and it's not just his origin story. His design is gorgeous but also his panel layout was so engaging like that beautiful web page that summoned up his origin story!!! I love his writing and the jokes he makes, you can tell that a gay man wrote his dialogue like yes!! (Steve Foxe, sir I hope marvel lets you write more of this character please Slott can't be trusted with him!) But like he'd have such an excellent mini series because there's a plot hook established before he leaves for the multiverse and it's his relationship with Albert Moon!! It's a love square with two people I'm literally gaging yes please marvel please I need to see how this goes!! Like Cooper and Albert are exes, but Silk and Web Weaver have crushes on each other and Albert kissed Web Weaver! Like oh my god the drama and if I don't get a comic for either of them soon I'm going to fucking write it myself

I also adore the other new spiders!! I like the new spider UK, she's an interesting character with a cool design, but her writing was a little clunky but I think that would have been fixed if she had a whole issue rather than like a quarter. Same with Sun Spider, love everything about her but the writing could have been stronger but also this isn't her first appearance so idk why the felt the need to go over her origins again. I would love for both of them to get their own solos. The character I'm really excited about is Spintress!! I thought her universe was so creative and the way they translated the typical spider man villains into Disney princess stuff. I hope she gets like a children's book or since Disney owns marvel maybe a little animated short in the traditional 2d style like I'd literally kill for that!!

Okay, I love this spider verse, but its whole is less than the sum of its parts. Like it moves into Slott's Spider-Man run and it instantly stops being charming and exciting. It immediately focuses on Peter despite the fact that this whole series started with Anya Corazón and Julia Carpenter! And they started calling Peter the chosen one which fuck no!! The whole point of spider verse is that Peter Parker isn't special, that anyone can take up the responsibility of spider-man, that anyone can be behind the mask!! And then they take away the tension of the evil wasp turning the spiders by saying that 616 citizens can't be turned which like way to bring down the stakes! Noir now has a sword that erases people from existence which fuck fine okay whatever. But the new spiders are instantly pushed to the background so that Peter can have the spotlight! He makes a homophobic comment to Web Weaver, he's nasty to Spintress, and he hates Felicia for no fucking reason!! Like he's so out of character, but it's Slott so idk what I expected. I'm going to read how it ends, but fuck I wish like the core of the story actually cared about the new characters introduced because what's the point of having them there if they don't do anything