#Monk for my friend chris

[theology101]

I had two pretty distinct friend groups in High School and like… the concept of me going to aguefort and having to CHOOSE which one i want to be in an Adventuring party with?

It gave me a stress ulcer and it will literally never happen lmao. I just gotta wonder how isolating it is for “this is your party and by consequence the people you will constantly be hanging out with”

give me your high school party comp in the tags

[british-sarcasm]

Oooooh my god, the latest release from Big Finish "Doctor Who: Classic Doctors New Monsters 5: Faithful Friends" and this is Eight's story. This is going to be hysterical.

So, I have 2 predictions;

1) Doctor is catfishing this dude for info about the Monks who are so interested in him

OR

2) Chris used the Monks to create a life where the Doctor loves him only to get more than he bargained for and wants out but that would break the deal with the Monks and they would lose their power

Either way Queer Rom-Com lets fucking go

[fuselsstuff]

Its the season, baby.

“So, not like that." Tommy chuckles and puts his coffee down on the little table. It’s a sunny day in California, and he and Evan are both having a day off. They started the morning in Tommy's favorite little bakery, just down the street from his house. “Coffee should be coffee, Evan, not sugar with coffee flavor.”

“It's an Americano with like a pump of vanilla and a pinch of sugar; I thought we could spice up your coffee order just a little,” Buck grins. “And maybe I was too embarrassed to order a regular dark roast drip for you,” he almost whispers the last part as if he were actually embarrassed.

“What can I say? I like my men sweet and my coffee dark, Evan.” Tommy smiles and takes a sip from his coffee-flavored drink anyway, watching his partner blush over the brim of his cup.

“You’re lucky, your words are sweeter than your taste,” Buck returned softly, not able to hide his smile.

Several weeks later, beginning of October

Tommy loved mornings with Evan; he grew quite fond of their bakery time when Evan spent the night at his house or the times when he picked up his partner from Crew breakfast after the 118s shift. Most times he even stayed for a coffee and Bobby's pancakes. There was just something about the feeling of starting the day together, either just the two of them or with family and friends, that made Tommy feel relaxed and excited at the same time. Relaxed because of the comfort it brought to him and excited for the day to come.

Today though, Evan was out early with Eddie; they were searching for a birthday present for Chris. So Tommy was on his own after Eddie picked Evan up; he decided it was a good day to check out the new coffeeshop near the Loft. It's called the wired monk, a little place wedged between two giant buildings, with colorful windows and trivia nights on Wednesdays.

So here he is, on the patio, enjoying his coffee, reading the newspaper the place provided, and letting the fall sun shine on his head. And yes, he should have known this would happen, but still, he is caught off guard when a shadow falls on his paper, and he looks up to see the sheepish, grinning face of his partner towering over him.

"Well, well, well, if that isn’t a frothy, sugary, creamy coffee, I see, or should I say coffee-flavored drink?

“Its..uhm..its pumkin spice season, Evan.”

“I just don’t understand; you gave me shit for my coffee orders for months, and now you’re here, drinking the most basic drink of all time, and your excuse is, its pumkin spice season?”

To both of their surprise, it's Eddie who breaks the banter between the two as he walks around the corner, starring down on his phone. “Yo Buck, the shop doesn’t open for another hour; you want to get a coffee before..." he looks up. "Oh, hey, Tommy, is this a PSL? Oh myy, finally it’s the season again. Buck, find us some chairs. I get us the good stuff.

@theheadfangirl and her frothy, sugary coffees, i love you friend;D

[chloe-spade]

Fight for What You Love: I See London

London.

London.

LONDON.

Noah should've expected so much whenever he was in a new place around the world, and London was somewhat on his to-do list, but not while they were trying to avoid Jack the Ripper while doing stupid challenges. Luckily for him, they were on the stretcher, for which Tyler happily volunteered.

"Quick tie him down before Alejandro shows up and makes me do it just because I'm shorter," groaned Noah.

"Aw, why don't you like Al?" Owen spoke up, tying Tyler down. "He's great."

"I don't trust the guy," Noah answered, hands on the wheel. "He's like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil."

"Hm, dirty?"

"Slippery," Noah corrected. "Think about it, Owen. He's like Heather only with social skills. And trust me, I've seen that first hand."

Tyler's anguish screams cut their conversation short, even though Noah hadn't started it yet.

"Stop," Tyler begged. "Stop! It's too much! Stop!"

"You do realize that we haven't started yet, right?"

Tyler gets up and looks around before sighing in relief. "My bad, it's cool. I'll go silent. Sweaty yoga-ish monk style."

Noah rolled his eyes and started to turn the wheel.

"Well, if we are going to talk about our friends," Owen chuckled as he looked at the side. "Like you and Cody?'

Noah blushed as he pulled on the wheel, which caused Tyler to react in surprise.

"..What about him exactly?" Noah muttered as he carefully started to turn the wheel. "Well, I guess I could say that he's simple but goofy and funny to be around…most of the time. And we had a couple of accidents during the World Tour."

"Like Al made you think of Cody when you kissed that fish-"

"NOT THAT."

"Hehe, sorry, but it seems to me that you love Cody," Owen teased. "Like a massive ton!"

"Hey, just because I kissed his stupid ear during Island does not mean I love him," Noah rolled his eyes. "It's unrealistic that I have a crush on him."

"But you have that look. I know the look," Tyler intervened. "It's the look of love."

"Says that whose girlfriend forgets he exists every 5 minutes," scoffed Noah. "Like come on. Even if I did like Cody, he likes Gwen, remember?"

"Oh…no, he doesn't," Tyler commented. "I mean, when's the last time he tried to look cool in front of her."

"Every day if he wasn't smothered from that freak." Noah chuckled. "She is so freaky that I can't believe Chris even lets her participate. Poor Cody, I know I wouldn't treat him like that."

"Oh my god, he said it," Tyler gasped, looking up at Owen. "He compared himself."

"I don't think he noticed." Owen whispered back. "But let him talk. I think this is the only time he's talking about his feelings for Cody."

"I would've liked this if I wasn't be stretched out right now," Tyler groaned. "Does that mean I own you 28.98 Candian Dollers?"

"You bet, buddy."

"Shouldn't you be quiet?" Noah asked Tyler, glaring at him.

Tyler shuts up after that, but Owen decides to ease Noah into talking again.

"Come on, little buddy, I want to hear you talk about Cody more," Owen urged. "I think it's a good way to let your frustrations out."

It made him oddly bitter, and that was new for Cody. He never felt bitter before, especially towards a girl he liked. Yep. Liked.

Noah continued to talk about it until the hatch opened, revealing a new clue for them to read.

☕

Cody groaned as he took care of his burned hand. But it wasn't surprising. What did he think would happen when he fell asleep during the day in Jamaica? He should've known better, but man, he was tired for many reasons, which made him feel bad. In the most sociable words Cody could think of, Sierra is a massive pain. He still goes by what he said when he tried to eliminate her, but the other girls had him apologize for something that wasn't his fault.

Cody didn't know how a crush could disappear so quickly, but it did. He enjoyed it while on the World Tour, but her joining Sierra in an attempt to get her back on her feet made Cody very sour. It was so sour that he backed off and hasn't tried to make any moves, which Gwen overlooked.

During that time, he felt stuck.

But all that changed when he remembered catching Noah during their Yukon Trip, causing an accidental kiss. But Cody took it in good faith and joked about it.

And now everything between them made so much sense! He didn't think much about it, but Noah seemed nicer to Cody, and unlike Owen, he barely gave him nicknames that many considered demeaning—the stares, the laugh at Cody's sucky jokes while at Economy Class. Everything started to make sense, and now he has to find a way to tell Noah.

Cody.

Cody likes…

Cody likes Noah now.

Or did he want to?

Was it because of Sierra? Mostly.

He wants to. But he was scared.

Why?

But did he care that much? No.

He's sick of trying to bend to people's expectations, and there was no more bullying.

This was Cody's choice. And he needs to do it.

"The Ripper's Most Natural Place has two levels that make up the space," Noah reads, then scoffed. "Sure…easy peasy."

Especially since Sierra was the one that got them caught by Jack The Ripper, so there's that.

☕

Things couldn't get any worse for Noah. Tyler was so silent that they forgot, which led to his capture. Owen was making a fool of himself, which isn't bad when they were on the plane, but not during the challenge.

"Double Decker Bus?" Own answered as he took a dog off his arm.

"Yeah," Noah acknowledged. "So there is a brain in there. You've been holding out on me."

"Holding Out?" Owen gasped. "I told you I smuggled some wieners off the plane!

Noah chuckled as he started to walk away, with Owen following. Going to the night with the stars out and a killer on the loose who could capture them at any moment was scary, but as they approached the Double-Decker Bus, bag in hand, they entered the Bus, hoping that the clue was right.

As they entered the Bus, they noticed how empty it was. But that wasn't unusual, but it made things extra creepy.

"Here, Ripper, Ripper, Ripper," Owen whimpered as the friends tip-toed forward. "We have a lovely bag for you."

Noah didn't have to say much as he felt the Ripper's hands around his mouth and swooped up above Owen, but Owen noticed when he heard the doors of the driver seat open and Noah's unsettling screams.

But Noah watched as Owen released the dogs, who imminently attacked Owen. But once one of the dogs found the sausage, Owen kicked it into the Ripper's hands, and all six dogs attacked him, and that's when Owen bagged him up.

"Alright Owen," Noah cheered.

"Who's the Ripper now?" Owen proudly grinned as he farted in the Ripper's face. "Oh, Noah, let me get you out."

"Sweet, everyone's ok!"

"No! Wait until the air clears!" Noah screamed.

☕

Once the teams boarded the plane, it was a relief to see that everyone was alright. Noah was concerned about why Alejandro wasn't happy that they had won and was just glaring daggers at Noah.

"Yep, everyone's fine," Heather confirmed. "You guys were so stupid to be worried."

Everyone glared, so Heather shut her mouth, which Noah was glad about.

"But it was reasssuring to see that someone was concerned," Alejandro spoke, glaring at Noah completely.

"You…You were watching everything?" Noah asked, now feeling a sense of dread. "Well, that's awkward."

"Like an eel dipped in grease," Alejandro repeated, his eyes narrowing down some more.

"Where I'm from, that's a compliment," Noah chuckled nervously, though he knew Alejandro saw right through him. "Tough Neighbourhood and all that."

Noah cleared his throat. "But hey! We caught the Ripper type guy!"

Owen unbagged the Ripper, who looked disheveled after the dogs attacked. His wrinkles curled when he frowned, looking over the teens who watched him.

"Old Man Jenkins?" Everyone gasped in unison.

Chris stoically stepped forward and grabbed the old man's head, revealing another shocking face—a face that everyone thought was eliminated in the very first episode.

"Ezekiel?" Everyone gasped again.

"Found him living in the cargo hold," Chef explained. "Found him homeschooling with the rats."

"I was gonna let him back in the game if he avioded getting captured." Chris added. "But since he could not."

He was booted off the plane. But there was still a question that lingered around.

"Who did Courtney and Gwen catch?" Heather asked, looking at their full bag.

"Well, Chris wanted a crinimal," Gwen started, looking down at the bag. "Well, ok, we didn't catch the right one. But.."

When Gwen removed the bag, Noah and the others' eyes widened at the sight of the green-haired delinquent. Everyone didn't even know his location, and he was right back on the plane once again.

"Duncan?"

"You brought me back here?" Duncan groaned, annoyed. "Ugh, where the stupid exit again?"

Duncan was ready to leave until Chris stopped.

"Uh, uh, uh, not so fast, quitter," Chris spoke, stopping Duncan. "Thought you could skip out on the game, eh? Thought we wouldn't find you, hmm?"

"Um, you didn't. We did." Gwen corrected, with Courtney nodding in agreement. "Sorry."

"And that's why Team Me is Super Hot is our winner!!" Chris announced. "That means that Team Amazon is going to the elimination room. Don't be late."

Everyone gasped in surprise.

"And Duncan, since you just came back, you join Chris is Really, Really, Really, Really hot!"

"…what kind of team name is that?" Duncan cringed. "That name is stupid."

"Blame the stalker," Noah chuckled, pointing at Sierra. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it."

Cody groaned as he entered the restroom. His hand was still burned, and he felt his heart beating so hard, considering the camera situation when they were captured. Watching Noah, who is just as stoic as a soldier, admits to having feelings for Cody made Cody feel very warm. He was so lucky that Sierra was arguing with Alejandro during that time. He had to get it out of his chest, even if it was in the confessional.

"Ugh, whatever," Duncarn rolled his eyes and walked past them.

☕

Gwen was the one who got eliminated. Heather, Sierra, and, to her shock, Cody were the main ones who voted, but she accepted and jumped.

"Uugh," Cody groaned again. "I feel all fuzzy inside, like I drank too much pop…." he paused when he realized the camera. "…Cause Gwen is gone! Obviously! Stinks we lost Gwem…and the challenge."

Cody looked down and sighed.

"…Is it wrong that I'm glad we lost?" Cody finally asked. "I-"

He jumped as he heard the door open, and Noah was there. He didn't look quite surprised, which Cody was grateful for.

"Oh crud- I didn't lock the door?!" Cody gasped, still in shock.

"The lock's broken-who's surprised." Noah replied sarcastically, looking at Cody. "How's the hand doing?"

"Not much better," Cody boasted. "Why? You have something to say bout it?"

Noah chuckles and carefully grabs his hand. "Maybe I do? Is that a bad thing?"

Cody laughed and looked down at his hand. "Ow…Hey, you know that hurts."

"What are you going to do about it?" Noah teased, a playful smirk on his face that made his eyes sparkle.

Cody felt a rush of energy coursing through him as he looked at Noah, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. This is your chance, his mind urged, the two thoughts intertwining with each other. You must kiss him, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life!

The moment's warmth enveloped them, and the tension hung thick in the air as Cody's gaze lingered on Noah's lips, making it harder to suppress the instinct pushing him closer.

Cody gulped, put his free hand on Noah's cheek, and pulled him forward for a kiss. Noah didn't even object as he lingered closer, hands carefully intertwined. Nothing could stop this moment, and they were so in the moment that they didn't know that Tyler watched with bated breath, now witnessing the moment of love.

Cody was with the one he truly loved.

What's the worst that can happen?

(au belongs to @fight-for-what-you-love who gave me permission to write this)

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

Do you think there was a plan for Josh and Sam to have a romance in Until Dawn? I feel like it was implied that they at least have feelings for each other by Josh's "joke" about helping Sam with the bath/specific mention of her being there and Sam's comment at the end of the game, but if so i wonder why they didn't give more lore or moments between them. I mean the big obvious reason is that Josh was playing his elaborate prank on the others and he was obviously not in a good mental state and just lost his sisters and would be gone the majority of the game. But idk i just wish we could have had more knowledge about them or scenes with them. Josh gives the vibe that he talks more game than he has. I believe when he truly likes someone he is quite smitten and sometimes surprises himself with the things he may blurt out. Honestly, i don't think Sam didn't want to "take advantage" of Josh considering the events going on so she was being very careful and considering her feelings but this traumatic event was bringing them together *cough what Josh said Chris and Ash needed* so it was getting hard to deny those feelings.

Oh I like this question! I’ve mentioned it before, but Josh x Sam is my favorite ship.

I don’t think there’s much evidence they were originally intended to be a couple or that the devs see it that way. Even so, I definitely got the impression that Josh cared for Sam more deeply than anyone but Chris. His stats show that Sam is 3-way tied for second with Ashley and Jess, and Sam’s have most people equal (Mike and Jess are lower), but there’s a lot of lore connecting Josh and Sam.

Josh comes across as kind of girl-crazy to me, because of his comments towards Sam, Jess, and Ashley. But there are several things that jumped out to me about him and Sam:

There’s dialogue where Josh tells Sam that he’s happy everyone could make it to the lodge. Then he emphasizes the fact that he’s happy Sam could make it.

Sam says in her interviews that Josh had told her that he felt a special bond with her. Josh had claimed that Sam understood him more than anyone and that they had a connection.

Josh talks a ton about finding her pretty. Again, he does this to other girls, but there’s quite a lot of it during Sam’s psycho chase.

There are some little gestures and statements the characters make that I find sweet too. If Sam is nervous to explore the sound in the basement by herself, she’ll hold onto Josh’s arm when they look together. When Josh and Sam get chased by Chris in the monk costume, Josh will hold out his arm to prevent “the masked monk” from getting to Sam. Sam, if she finds the psycho lair, can tell Josh she thinks he’s crying for help which is very empathetic and caring, considering what he put her through.

Finally, I did write an analysis for Reddit at some point, just unpacking Josh’s motives, and I did find it interesting to reflect on Josh showing Sam the tape of him dying, particularly because (as you also noted) he admits/hints a few times that his prank has been intended to bring people closer, and the game gives a lot of indicators that it was meant to be psychological manipulation.

Josh is deeply disturbed, obviously, and it’s not always clear what his exact logic is— but I do get the sense/headcanon that he genuinely wanted to see what Sam and Chris would do in situations involving his death. His dialogue towards Chris while he’s “dying” is very much “we’re still friends, right?” and he’s legitimately pissed later if Chris chooses Ashley.

Josh: Bro! Bro, we've been through so much, come on... I don't wanna go out like this...!

Josh: I know... I know we haven't been the best of friends lately... and I've been kinda messed up and everything... but I'm getting better, man... I swear!

Josh: I thought we were FRIENDS man! I thought we were FRIENDS why would you DO THIS!?

Josh: NO! OH GOD WHAT DID I DO!??

I mean, this can be read a few ways, certainly. Josh is definitely trying to terrify and mess with Chris, and the last line could also be fake-directed at the psycho. But some of this dialogue sounds like it has a grain of truth in it. Josh may be safe, and he does want Ashley to ultimately think Chris saved her, but he is genuinely learning whom his best friend loves more and truly does have to make sense of why Chris doesn’t choose him, if that’s the case.

Now, with this context, I feel like he plays a similar game with Sam. He, as the psycho, asks Sam how she feels about seeing Josh die.

Sam turns back around to see Josh getting cut in half.

Sam: Josh!

Psycho: How does it make you feel?

I sense there’s a level of dark curiosity Josh has with Sam and Chris. And my interpretation here tracks with how I view their relationships. I believe he cares about what Sam and Chris think. He wants the whole group, particularly the couples (DOUBLE particularly to Chris and Ashley), to get closer. But when he goes about attempting this bonding for himself— it’s most clear that he might be trying to do so with Sam and Chris.

All this said, I do think there’s less canonically indicating that Sam has quite the same level of feelings for Josh. Sam is very independent while also being something of a “Team Mom.” I think she’s known Josh a long time due to her friendship with Hannah, and it’s evident that she spent a lot of time talking to him after the twins vanished. Josh just has a bit more indicating he loves Sam as more than friends than vice versa.

So uh TL;DR—

I think it makes a lot of sense that Josh has a crush on Sam. It’s unconfirmed, but there are many things that caught my eye and made me interpret that. The reading that feels the most accurate is that it’s a bit one-sided, because it feels stronger on Josh’s end. That said, Josh and Sam as a ship fascinates me and has SO MUCH GOOD about it given their defined history. Also, the conversations they can have feel less superficial than how most of the couples talk. I like it a lot.

[imahyperfixatedbitch]

Not sure if you’ve done this before, but would you release your until Dawn character ranking? Who’s your favorite and why?

UNTIL DAWN SPOILERS !!

Heyy thank you so much for the ask I love getting them 🫶🫶

It was really hard to do this rank. To be honest, I like all of Until Dawn's characters, I even like the last character on the list, so:

1. Josh: I hate a lot of the things he says (especially about Ashley and Jessica even if he said them to motivate Chris and anger Mike) and a lot of things he did. But I do think he's a great character because he's the most interesting one to analyse, in my opinion. He's a really nuanced character, and he's really sympathetic. Like in the end you can't help but feel bad for him because you know none of it was his fault, everything is so unfair to him and as someone with younger siblings, I can definitely understand why he'd want revenge. And I could keep going about how he deserved better... Aside from that, he has some really iconic lines and moments. Especially as the psycho, I'm pretty sure I love all of the psycho scenes. Also, Rami Malek's acting is perfect he really made a difference. Josh just brought the drama, and honestly, his reveal made my jaw drop. He's iconic.

2. Chris: so chris is my second favourite because he's just so likeable to me. I feel like he reacted quite well to the events of the night (if you don't make the worst choices), yes he was in denial sometimes but who wouldn't? And he is a bit corny but it was 2015. He's a good friend to Josh and Sam, a good (potentially) boyfriend to Ashley. He has cool lines and he just seems like a cool dude. His monk prank nearly gave me a heart attack so props to him.

3. So Sam is also really likeable. She literally does nothing wrong! She's smart, beautiful, friendly, brave... But that's also a problem. She's too perfect. Not morally grey enough to me. I wish she just reacted more to things. I wish she was meaner to Mike, and I wish she stayed with Mike and Josh in the mines. Her leaving was so random, and it's less interesting than her staying. What I really like about her development is how she seems like she will be way less pacific and friendly after all of this when you see her in the credit scenes. She just seems so changed (understandable). Sadly, we will never see this side of her. I also wish we could see more of the relationship she had with Josh while dealing with the disappearance of his sisters since we know they bonded a lot over this. But hey, we can always imagine!

4. Emily: Yes, I am aware she's really hated, and I actually used to hate her too. But then I analysed her character, and I realised she's not a bad person. Sure, she has an attitude problem, and she uses Matt as a rebound (it doesn't necessarily make her a bad person, it's "just" unhealthy) while treating him badly sometimes (this is something that I hate about her tho); But everytime she got mad it was honestly valid: Hannah trying to get with Mike? Valid. (She did, however, overreact, and the others had no business joining in the prank) Jessica who was supposedly her best friend coming up with an awful prank to pretend she's helping her out, while she actually has a crush on her bf, then dating Mike after 2 of their friends disappeared because of the prank Jessica came up with since "she wanted Mike and Emily to stay happy together"? Valid!!!! Ashley and Mike threatening her with a gun?? Valid af! So yeah she never gets mad for no reason, plus she's a very capable woman and iconic (understand the palm of my hand bitch). The fandom is unfair (and misogynistic let's be honest) towards her.

5. Mike: So Mike is both an asshole and a hero, which kind of makes him interesting to me. Like he has funny moments and reactions, but he did really fucked up stuff. Like pranking his friend who has a crush on him!? It's so cruel for no reason. Potentially kill Emily too. But he can also be quite heroic, like when he runs after Hannah when she's dragging Jess away. Or how he tries to keep everyone together and just get everyone out of here. He has great survival and leadership skills. So I'm pretty mixed on him. I do think he had a bit too much alone screentime (we needed more from Jess and Matt). I do feel like he gets away with a lot of things.

6. Matt: So I really wanna root for the guy you know? Like I want him to get out of his relationship with Emily (even tho she can truly start loving him by the end), I want him to be happy. He's a good guy. And I really like that his character development starts if you stand up to Emily. But he didn't have enough screentime. So I can't rate him higher. I will give him props for traumatising me with his telescope jumpscare.

7. Jessica: So she's an asshole to me. But she's a bimbo and she's just so silly and goofy. I just can't hate her. She also went through a lot on the night, which makes me feel sympathy for her. But I can't rate her higher because 1. She's an asshole towards Hannah and Emily. 2. Not enough screentime.

8. Ashley: I know it's gonna be controversial. I DO like her, but I just don't understand her. She's a super interesting character to analyse. She's so morally grey, but sometimes I have a hard time feeling bad for her. I do think her freaking out was completely normal, tho. I don't understand the people who hate her because of that. I just feel like she rarely feels bad for people. She's a bit egoistic. Her letting Chris die was not fair to me. Yes, of course, it's normal to hate Chris if she shoots her. But he did it because he thought he had no choice. He was under the influence of fear. He would never kill her if he didn't have to. He thought his own life was at risk. But her not opening the door was not under the influence of fear. She did it out of pettiness. She was not risking her life by opening the door. And even if she actually did it because of fear, she would look terrified while Chris is getting killed. But she was just staring. She almost seemed to enjoy it. She also wanted Mike to shoot Emily. It seems like she completely loses control when she's on stressful situations (understandable) and shows no sympathy to others. So, it makes it hard for me to connect with her. I still think she's a good character and very interesting. And she brought cool moments to the game (like letting Chris die was kind of shocking/funny and cool because it's a great butterfly effect). Forgot to mention how her honesty goes down if she shows remorse for the prank which is icky to me 😬

Anyways, thank you for the ask. Don't hesitate to debate with me and send more asks. Love y'all 🫶 I'm not checking the writing. Sorry for the typos, English is not my first language.

[felonytaxevasion]

Ok you know what I'm gonna complain about Ward for like three (that was hubris it ended up being like ten) not proofread paragraphs then I'm gonna get back to the clown mines (the clown Mimes??? One could say)

But spoilers and general ward rudeness below.

Disclaimer that I have three more arcs and also I got my degree in drawing pretty pictures Im not the most media literate person out there I probably missed something

See what's driving me absolutely bonkers about Ward is that. It is called Ward. And it is about a traumatized former child soldier taking partial custody of current child soldiers. And also the former protagonists are mostly relevant because they also have guardianship of child soldiers who are friends with the other child soldiers. And the book is ostensibly NOT about parenthood and guardianship.

All of the best parts of Ward are about Breakthrough watching out for Kenzie (and Chris before they decided they don't care anymore) and the Undersiders with the heartbroken + Aiden. The fact even 17 chapters in Victoria and Lisa still don't really like each other but are working together because at the end of the day they would both drop everything to help the kids is such good characterization.

And it also works!! with the whole Amy Dallon Problem!!! Because the canon establishes that Amy became a Problem because of her dysfunctional family unit led by Carol. And then Victoria is put in charge of sort of dysfunctional family unit, doesn't notice how bad Chris is getting and he goes villain. Same character arc as Amy but it doesn't lead Victoria to change any values she has about her family. She doesn't blame herself for Chris and become more sympathetic to Amy in the process. But also she doesn't become more sympathetic to Carol now that Chris has affirmed her world view that "some people are bad and you can't do anything about it."

By the by Amy is also given Wards of her own in Riley, Dot, and Hunter but none of them get to interact with the Tenders and or even get to be parallels to them. Amy doesn't get to care for her "kids" in the way Vic Lisa and Aisha do. Her kids are irrelevant, not human, and just a victim of her respectively. Oh and she also has Chris but now he's spontaneously a full adult so nevermind all that. And I want Amy to be a villain I don't care if she's a bad guardian or still demonized but I wish they could do it in an interesting way that contrasts our protagonists. Cause instead she's a villain because she's so incompetent at being a hero she ends up being a villain on accident. Which is BORING! IM BORED!

And all the Amy villain blandness is supposed to somehow tie back to the central theme of self identity but none of breakthroughs identity crisises are written in a way that, at least to me personally, emotionally hit. Except Sveta. Hang on actually I'm going through the list.

Victoria's identity is supposedly fragmented between Glory Girl, The Wretch, Antares, """The Warrior Monk""", and The Scholar. But in practical terms these identities have very little tangible difference. Glory Girl hits like a brute without remorse, Antares hits like a brute and considers if she should feel remorse and then doesn't unless it's her mom, the wretch is externalized into being her shard which is fully a different character, and the Warrior Monk and Scholar are just ideologies she wants to follow but never feels frustration at not being able to adhere to. She never hits and is like "oh time to have a crisis because I was trying to be more of a pacifist" she tends to usually say to herself "oh the warrior monk would be fine with that" which is good writing IF you're making a delusional weeaboo character who we're meant to see as insane but I think we're supposed to like Vic so!! What are we doing here!!!

Ashley makes Her defining identity choice, the thing that separates her from Damsel, Off Screen and it isn't even shown as a flashback in her interlude. The part where she turns herself in for attacking Beast of Burden is a good continuation of that arc but the turning point was her choice to receive amnesty and try to be someone different. Which again. Off screen before the story started!

Just like Rain!!! Who once again gets a moment I genuinely think is good where he fully rejects the Fallen by not marrying Erin but again!! That's just a follow through of his self identity turning point that happened before the story started!!!

Which is also Tristan and Byron!!!!!! First of all I think that in a book about self identity and bleed through and knowing where you start and the people around you stop, it's insane that Tristan and Byrons crisis starts not because they realize they're losing themselves in the others personality but because they have opposite sexualities. Personally if I was gonna make gay panic the whole thing with them I would have the inciting incident be one of them starting to feel bisexual attraction as a result of being in their brothers head so often and getting upset about losing a facet of their identity they felt was critical. But whatever!! Even with the existing crisis it happens!!! Before the story!!! Tristan decides to kill Byron and then that he wants his brother back! Before! The! Main! Story! Happens!

The only characters who have a definitive turning point are Sveta and Chris. Chris is almost immediately written out of the story after his turning point. And Sveta actually is really good and I have no notes I think it was really well executed. I love you Sveta.

I'm not even sure where to put Kenzie since her struggles seem to mostly be about changing habits and behaviors rather than identity. She seems like she can easily envision a Kenzie that's better but still Kenzie. And she is super attached to her tech but I haven't read any scenes where it feels like she doesn't feel like herself without her tech. She just feels unwanted which is good writing! I like how Kenzie is written I think it just doesn't tie in to the central theme.

Anyway rant over I maybe will delete this later but this book is driving me bonkers crazy

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Just a list of some of my favorite quotes. I tried to sort them at least a bit but eh.

Funny Quotes:

• "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." - Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

• "The way it [Pizza Hut pizza slice] dances is insulting." -Charles White

• "You know what they say, when fate closes a door, luck opens a window. And karma deactivates the alarm system." -Sam, Poker Night 2

• "We're only at the top of the food chain because sharks don't have good guns yet. They're workin' on 'em tho." -Sorrow TV

• "Behind every great man, there's a woman with a vibrator." -Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

• "I'm not suicidal, I just wish I was never born." -Adrian Monk, Monk

• "We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw...Does that sound fine?" -Ash Williams, Evil Dead 2

• "Hi Kevin can you maybe consider finding a hobby or possibly even a friend" -Poptarts

• "I live in a flat for divorcees where they make you pay six months up front in cause you hang yourself." -Gregory, The Outlaws

• "Mousetrap. I wanted to play Mousetrap. You roll your dice, you move your mice. Nobody gets hurt." -Bob the Tomato, VeggieTales

• "Yeah, it's a death trap. But it's a really powerful death trap. What, you suddenly care about safety now?" -Slate, Outer Wilds

• "How insecure do you think I am? Seriously, how insecure do you think I am. I need you to tell me. Will you please tell me?" -Shawn Spencer, Psych

"Oh, get over it. I shot ONE baby. And, in fairness, it was being a dick." -Handsome Jack, Borderlands 2

"We protest you calling us 'little kids'. We prefer to be called 'vertically-impaired pre-adults'." -Yakko Warner, Animainiacs

"If you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring. Apple could put the entire text of 'Mein Kampf' inside the iTunes user agreement, and you’d just go agree, agree, agree – what? – agree, agree." -John Oliver

• "Always get a contract when working with a dark, omnipotent power." -Joel Robinson, Mystery Science Theater 3000

• "Why does he have to kill them to prove his point? Can't he just show them a pie chart or something?" -Tom Servo, Mystery Science Theater 3000

• "No, no they're not eating people anymore, because we made it illegal." -Wendigoon

• "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." -Douglas Adams

• "Girls were falling all over me in school, and not just because I would extend my leg when they walked by." -Count Olaf, A Series of Unfortunate Events

• "If God were edible, not that I'm Catholic, but if it was cool to eat God, he'd be a chicken finger." -Troy Barnes, Community

• "I'm like the fun dad that comes and brings you a bike but doesn't pay child support" -Chris Tergliafera

• "The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

• "You can run, but death runs slightly faster." -Flamingo

• "Studies show keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I have ten guns for if some maniac tries to sneak a ladder in here." -Grunkle Stan, Gravity Falls

•"Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead anyway." -Crow, Mystery Science Theater 3000

Quotes on Life:

• "If we don't go crazy once in a while, we'll all go crazy." -Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

• "Remember what the good book says: Love thy neighbor, or I'll punch your lights out!" -Father John Mulcahy, M*A*S*H

• "It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing." -Lemony Snicket

•"All my life, I have been happiest when the folks watching me said to each other, 'Look at the poor dope, will ya?'." -Buster Keaton

• "At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey." -Lemony Snicket

• "Honest to god-or whoever's in charge-you are not alone." -Harlan Ellison

• "You are not entitled to your opinion, you are entitled to your informed opinion. If you are not informed on the subject, then your opinion counts for nothing." -Harlan Ellison

• "If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble." -Betty White

• "As a child, I considered such unknowns sinister. Now, though, I understand they bear no ill will. The universe is, and we are." -Solanum, Outer Wilds

• "While skepticism is healthy, cynicism, real cynicism, is toxic." -John Oliver

•"You can wish your life away. But if you're going to dream, you're going to have to get out and, like I always say, you have to put some wings on them dreams, and some feet and fingers and some hands. They gotta get into some stuff. You can't just sit around and think of all the things you want to do. You've got to think of what you want to do, and then you've got to get out and make that happen." -Dolly Parton

• "Be yourself. No one can say you're doing it wrong." -Charles Schulz

• "It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things." -Lemony Snicket

•"If you know someone whos depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn't a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather." -Stephen Fry

• "When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them." -Lemony Snicket

• "Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life." -Dolly Parton

• "Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily." -Lemony Snicket

• "Don’t try to be young. Just open your mind. Stay interested in stuff. There are so many things I won’t live long enough to find out about, but I’m still curious about them." -Betty White

• "I know that pain is the most important thing in the universes. Greater than survival, greater than love, greater even than the beauty it brings about. For without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. And without these, life is endless, hopeless, doomed and damned. Adult. You have become adult." -Harlan Ellison

• "I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." -Robin Williams

•"Find out who you are. And do it on purpose." -Dolly Parton

• "Like a wind crying endlessly through the universe, time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we were, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment." -Harlan Ellison

• "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." -Gandalf, The Fellowship of the Ring

• "Not all those who wander are lost." -Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

• "Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me. Make your life spectacular." -Robin Williams

• "I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it." -Sally Brown, Peanuts

• "It’s [old age] not a surprise, we knew it was coming – make the most of it. So you may not be as fast on your feet, and the image in your mirror may be a little disappointing, but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game." -Betty White

• "Don't be scared of dying, be more frightened that you haven't finished living." -Dick Van Dyke

• "In lieu of even as you’re waiting for a major change that you think might not come, incremental change is possible and valuable." -John Oliver

• "You can lie to anyone in the world and even get away with it, perhaps, but when you are alone and look into your own eyes in the mirror, you can’t sidestep the truth. Always be sure you can meet those eyes directly." -Betty White

Quotes that go Hard:

• "In death, there are no accidents, no coincidences, no mishaps, and no escapes." -Bludworth, Final Destination

• "War isn't hell. War is war and hell is hell, and of the two war is worse!" - Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

• "I'm sorry, if you were right, l'd agree with you." -Robin Williams

• “To linger on an ending is to rob it of its life.” -The Shifting Mound, Slay the Princess

• "There is only me. There is only my way. There is only the forest. And there is only surrender." -The Beast, Over the Garden Wall

• "Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?" -Davy Jones, Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

• "When belief in a god dies, the god dies." -Harlan Ellison

• "There are few things more terrifying than one's own heart, and there is almost nothing more terrifying than sharing it with another. But most terrifying of all is leaving one's heart unshared." -The Moment of Clarity, Slay the Princess

• "I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid." -Harlan Ellison

• "In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by people who thought they were doing the right thing." -Lucy van Pelt, Peanuts

• "I bet we were fun." -Gamora, Guardians of the Galaxy 3

• "A thousand staring morsels stood, and not one of them believed themselves sane to look upon it. And in the centre, the door that would open to all the places that were never there, was me." -Michael, The Magnus Archives

"Ain't that just the way." -Greg, Over the Garden Wall

• "The pain of your absence is sharp and haunting, and I would give anything not to know it; anything but never knowing you at all (which would be worse)." -Plume, Outer Wilds

"Only things that one could imagine happening to real people, I guess, remain in a person's memory." -Buster Keaton

• "Look, I've got a gun out there in my purse. And up to now, I've been forgiving and forgetting because of the way I was brought up. But I'll tell you one thing: If you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine... And I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!" -Doralee Rhodes, 9 to 5

• "You're only given a spark of madness. You musn't lose it." -Robin Williams

• "All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog." -Charles Schulz

•"...How beautiful. It’s different than I’d envisioned. Whatever happens next, I do not think it is to be feared." -The Prisoner, Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye

[spacetrashpile]

🖊 oc curse be upon ye!

hehe! i wanna talk about someone i haven't talked about on here before soooo. it's issac time.

(picrew here)

so issac stewart is technically an earth genasi (but i ignore that part) and a sorcerer. he's my character for my friends and i's the last of us three-shot that we STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED AND OUR LAST SESSION WAS IN MAY. WHOOPS. idk if you've seen/played the last of us (i haven't) but i am. going to talk like you haven't.

anyways.

the campaign takes place on our college campus which has been turned into a safe zone from the zombies. issac was an RA in the freshman boys dorms when the outbreak started and has stayed on campus since. the rest of the party were travelers who planned to just stay the night on the campus and then get back to whatever they're doing who got pulled into the Everything. the rest of the party in question is: vulcan (he/him), aasimar cleric who believes straight sex cause the apocalypse (joke that spiraled extremely quickly), farah ammar (she/her), half-elf monk, and blade ammar (he/him), half-elf rogue. farah and blade are siblings.

the four of them left the confines of the "safe" campus to go into the parts that are still overrun with zombies to chase after a young girl who had snuck out. they found her being accosted by two FEDRA (government) members who they killed and then realized that the FEDRA camp was expecting them back within a day, and that someone was definitely going to come looking if they never came back. blade and vulcan disguised themselves as the agents and went back to the camp to basically check back in, spend the night there, and make it not look That weird when they then disappeared again- or at least, make it look like it was unrelated to the school so FEDRA didn't come knocking.

back on campus, farah and issac ran into two guys named jack and evan who were looking jack's husband chris and their friend pat who had last been seen on the campus. turns out the last time they'd been there was a year ago when more of the campus was safe, and they'd been staying in a building that got overrun with zombies. the survivors had been working on re-clearing that building recently, so we decided to take jack and evan with us to go looking. while searching, we figured out that pat had been turned but chris had managed to survive on his own, squirreled away in one of the upstairs rooms.

farah and issac left to bring chris, jack, and evan back to campus and get chris medical care when the door to the dining hall in the area burst open and a hoard of zombies came out. they ran, but farah had to fall back and sacrifice herself in order to ensure chris got away and i am LITERALLY INSANE ABOUT THAT because i explicitly promised blade that nothing would happen to her and i. was wrong. and i am now so scared <3

[killva-creates]

I saw the new Mario movie today and funny things happened (but minor spoilers so... no watchy no ready. scoot.)

first, my friend and I got kicked out of a comic store because we were reading

and then the three of us were the only ones in the theater so we could yell shit it was so great I'm not kidding

we all loved toad

"EW HETEROSEXUALITY!" at the peach/Mario meet cute

there was a minor discussion of Luigi being the gay younger brother with anxiety

"Luigi why are you running from the skeleton koopas, you're supposed to love bones!" (I got punched for that)

and then bowser has internalized homophobia

the peaches song

the Luigi as a captive scene was so gay

that weird little flame dude

Donkey Kong is a fucking himbo with daddy issues

Peach = bi bamf

there's something going on between bowser and his wizard friend I'm not kidding (they literally did a role-play scene)

I had to give the characters dnd classes so

Peach is a monk, Toad is a ranger, Bowser is a barbarian, DK is a fighter, Luigi is a paladin, and Mario gives me mild bard vibes (idk it might just be the fact that chris pratt voiced him)

the entire scene with DK and Mario in the ocean was queer coded as fuck

we were squealing about all the video game references the entire time

and then at the scene where Mario and Luigi do the joint power up when they started glowing and shit I was like "ah, the gay straight alliance" and both my friends lost their shit

the amount of gay jokes we all made

and then the end credit scene

and don't forget all the 80's music I fuckin loved

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

Sam and Chris’s Bond

I will say that counting through the dialogue of the Until Dawn script completely validated my strong sense that Sam and Chris are close.

They have sooooo much content, and it’s varied and interesting. They have their introductions and talk in the cable car, there’s optional dialogue she has with him where she asks how things are between him and Ash, she teases him about the wolverine, he pranks her in the monk costume, and they have potential dialogue in the safe room where she can check and see how he’s doing after seeing the stranger die.

This isn’t even counting all their scattered dialogue within group scenes or Chris being really determined to save her from the lodge.

They’ve got legitimately one of the stronger and more clearly outlined friendships in the game. We get a lot of examples of how they talk. I like to think they hung out a lot after seeing each other at the Washingtons’ house all the time (Hannah inviting Sam over, Josh inviting Chris over). And they both have deeper reasons to be worried about Josh during the year after the twins vanished. They’re also both the only friends not to participate in pranking Hannah. In fact, they’re the only two in the game not to do pranks that were harmful.

Sam gets Josh to turn around and is like “LOL WHAT A PRANK!” Both Josh and Sam were actually amused by Chris’s prank (Josh cracks up and Sam is like “OK I can ADMIT it was a little funny!)

[monelite]

monks be drunk

[apocrypals]

If you were ever going to do a lets play i would like to suggest, perhaps, pentiment? It would be very interesting to see benito w it, in particular. Its set in the 16th? Century, and deals with monks as far as ive seen yet, but has so many scholarly historical medieval and biblical references i think youd appreciate. Also you could probably read the latin

The game looks great! I am extremely interested in it. It’s very much the kind of game I would play with my friend who has unfortunately moved to California, but maybe he’ll have time for us to check it out over Discord or something

I haven’t talked to Chris about it to gauge his interest, but if it’s on a platform that allows him to play it in bed, there’s a possibility he will check it out

[cabinet-baldo]

Debriefing ! Setlist de la soirée SIXTIES IMMERSION DiJerk Baldo au Drunken 20/01/2023https://www.mixcloud.com/.../dijerk-baldo-sixties-beat.../DiJerk Baldo au Drunken 20/01/2023 ⁃ Cocoa par MIGHTY TALLISH  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Save the People par BRUCE RUFFIN ⁃ 
 ⁃ Jockey Hinds par MIGHTY CHYPER ⁃ 
 ⁃ The Golden Fleece par JASON & The ARGANOUGHTS ⁃ 
 ⁃ If the Coast Is Clear par Nine Ton Peanut Smugglers ⁃ 
 ⁃ Brandy par JOHN HOLT ⁃ 
 ⁃ Drugs Mule par Nine Ton Peanut Smugglers ⁃ 
 ⁃ Peaches my love par ERIC DONALDSON ⁃ 
 ⁃  You Got Soul par Johnny Nash ⁃ 
 ⁃ The Harder They Come par Jimmy Cliff ⁃ 
 ⁃ Lively Up Yourself par Bob Marley ⁃ 
 ⁃ Chinese children par MIGHTY TERROR (BERT INNIS) ⁃ 
 ⁃ Rub A Dub Dub par The Equals ⁃ 
 ⁃ Bend Me, Shape Me par The American Breed ⁃ 
 ⁃ Life's Too Short par Tony Rivers & The Castaways  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Wooly Bully par THE JALOPY FIVE  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Gotta Wait par The Game ⁃ 
 ⁃ Come On Up par KAMA DEL SUTRA  ⁃ 
 ⁃ I Think We're Alone Now par Tommy James & The Shondells ⁃ 
 ⁃ Hog par THE GROUPIES ⁃ 
 ⁃ Look for Me Baby par The Kinks ⁃ 
 ⁃ I'm a Believer par The Monkees ⁃ 
 ⁃ Dead End Street par The Kinks ⁃ 
 ⁃ The Witch par The Rattles ⁃ 
 ⁃ Gotta Get the First Plane Home par The Kinks ⁃ 
 ⁃ Louie Louie par SIMBA ⁃ 
 ⁃ Too Bad You Don't Want Me par Chris Andrews ⁃ 
 ⁃ Midnight To Six Man par The Pretty Things ⁃ 
 ⁃ 66 5 4 3 2 1 par The Troggs ⁃ 
 ⁃ You Really Got Me par The Kinks ⁃ 
 ⁃ Thirteen Women par The Renegades ⁃ 
 ⁃ Gotta Get Away par The Blues Magoos ⁃ 
 ⁃ Shake par SHADOWS OF KNIGHT ⁃ 
 ⁃ Psyché rock par LES YPER SOUND (Pierre Henry et Michel Colombier)  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Slip Knot par Doug Johnson & the Outlaws  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Happy Times par The Box Tops ⁃ 
 ⁃ Nothin' par The Ugly Ducklings ⁃ 
 ⁃ Dimples par The Del-Rays ⁃ 
 ⁃ No Friend of Mine par THE SPARKLES ⁃ 
 ⁃ Garden of My Mind par The Mickey Finn ⁃ 
 ⁃ Complication par The Monks ⁃ 
 ⁃ Dirty Water par The Standells ⁃ 
 ⁃ Venus par Shocking Blue ⁃ 
 ⁃ Talk Talk par The Music Machine ⁃ 
 ⁃ I Don't Care par The Dirty Shames ⁃ 
 ⁃ 96 Tears par ? and The Mysterians ⁃ 
 ⁃ Soul on Ice par Fire ⁃ 
 ⁃ Bringing Home the Bacon par Queen Eve & the Kings ⁃ 
 ⁃ Do You Believe In Magic par The Lovin' Spoonful ⁃ 
 ⁃ Happy Feet par Robert Parker ⁃ 
 ⁃ I Gotta Go Now par Rex Garvin ⁃ 
 ⁃ The Nitty Gritty par Gladys Knight & The Pipsb ⁃ 
 ⁃ QI Hang Up (Part 1) par Warm Excursion ⁃ 
 ⁃ Highway Blues par Little Daddy Walton and Sons ⁃ 
 ⁃ Soul Food par Lonnie Youngblood (& Jimi Hendrix) ⁃ 
 ⁃ I Want Love And Affection (Not The House Of Corrections) par Nathaniel Mayer ⁃ 
 ⁃ B W SOULS par MARVINS GROOVE  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Tell Me What You're Gonna Do par James Brown ⁃ 
 ⁃ Hang Up (Part 2) par Warm Excursion ⁃ 
 ⁃ Little Flea par Prince Buster & The Maytals ⁃ 
 ⁃  Police & Thieves par Junior Murvin ⁃ 
 ⁃  Respect par Norma Fraser ⁃ 
 ⁃ Too Much Too Young par The Specials ⁃ 
 ⁃ Lip Up Fatty par Bad Manners ⁃ 
 ⁃ Ska-Ba par THE SKATALITES ⁃ 
 ⁃ Behold I Come par B. KALPHAT    ⁃ 
 ⁃ Wreck a Pum Pum par LORD CREATOR ⁃ 
 ⁃ Toot Last Train to Sla’Ville par MIXED BLOOD ⁃ 
 ⁃ A Message to You Rudy par THE SPECIALS  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Cool It par BILL CAMPBELL  ⁃ 
 ⁃ He’ll Provide par The Maytals ⁃ 
 ⁃ Express Yourself par Leroy Sibbles  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Feeling Soul par BOB ANDY ⁃ 
 ⁃ Rub Up Push Up par Termites  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Nanny Goat par Larry Marshall ⁃ 
 ⁃ Pain in My Belly par Prince Buster & The Maytals ⁃ 
 ⁃   -    I Can't Explain It par The McCoys ⁃ Sugar Sugar par The Archies ⁃ 
 ⁃ Peace of Mind par Count Five ⁃ 
 ⁃ Brown Eyed Handsome Man par John Hammond, Jr. ⁃ 
 ⁃ What You Gonna Do? par Brian Auger ⁃ 
 ⁃ Come On Baby (Raw Crude Teen Beat) par Al's Untouchables ⁃ 
 ⁃ Mercy, Mercy Baby par Ray Barretto ⁃ 
 ⁃ Funky Street par Arthur Conley ⁃ 
 ⁃ Happy Feet par DAVE ´BABY’ CORTEZ  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Beware of the Dog par Georgie Fame ⁃ 
 ⁃ Gonna Give It to You par PIC AND BILL ⁃ 
 ⁃ You Ain’t Nothing But a Devil par JIMMY McCRACKLIN  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Woo Hoo par TWANGY  ⁃ 
 ⁃ Mony Mony par Tommy James & The Shondells ⁃ 
 ⁃ Tiger par Brian Auger ⁃ 
 ⁃ Sookie par BOVIC (& L'Orchestre African Fiesta) ⁃ 
 ⁃ The Trip par Kim Fowley ⁃ 
 ⁃ Baby Under My Skin par Oscar & The Majestics ⁃ 
 ⁃ Pushin' Too Hard par The Seeds ⁃ 
 ⁃ Shakin' All Over par Johnny Kidd & The Pirates ⁃ 
 ⁃ Whole Lotta Woman par Johnny Kidd & The Pirates ⁃ 
 ⁃ Progress par The Pretty Things ⁃ 
 ⁃ I Get So Excited par The Equals ⁃ 
 ⁃ By My Side par The Elois ⁃ 
 ⁃ Yo Grito par Los Sirex ⁃ 
 ⁃ Getaway par Georgie Fame & The Blue Flames ⁃ 
 ⁃ Inside Looking Out par The Animals ⁃ 
 ⁃ Wild Thing par The Troggs ⁃ 
 ⁃ Commotion par Creedence Clearwater Revival ⁃ 
 ⁃ Baby Jane (Mo Mo Jane) par Mitch Ryder & The Detroit Wheels ⁃ 
 ⁃ The Kangaroo par The Panics ⁃ 
 ⁃ It's One Thing to Say par The Riddles ⁃ 
 ⁃ The Memphis Train par Rufus Thomas ⁃ 
 ⁃ Break It Up par Julie Driscoll & Brian Auger & The Trinity ⁃ 
 ⁃ Take It Off par Groundhog ⁃ 
 ⁃ Peter Gunn par Duane Eddy ⁃ 
 ⁃ (fin)1ere Gnossienne d’ERIK SATIE par CLAUDE HELFFER

[xenaproparchive]

Behold! My type collection of Xena chakrams, arranged in what my Xenite monk friend, Thupten, referred to as the “mandala” of his dreams.

The concept of a type collection (a term I learned from my new but very dear friend, Chris, who is also a longtime Xena collector) originates from the practice of coin collecting, wherein a coin collector assembles a visual collection of each of the types of a particular style of coin. For example, a collector might choose to create a type collection of copper coins by assembling a display of various copper coins minted within a given decade or perhaps even a century. I didn’t realize it at the time, for my nescience of coin-collecting parlance, but after more than a decade of Xena collecting, I had actually assembled a type collection of Xena chakram replicas.

I can't quite explain my fascination with Xena's chakram. More than any other aspect of the Xenaverse, I believe that this mystical bit of weaponry is what first drew me in as a bright-eyed child. I suppose the aesthetic appeal of its shimmering paua shell inlay and Hellenic golden patterns should be reason enough to justify my obsession, but I also think there’s something to be said for the fact that it’s essentially a razor-edged frisbee with boomerang-like qualities that requires near superhuman dexterity to use. As unique fantasy weapons go, it doesn’t really get any fucking cooler than that! Whatever the reason for my chakram fixation, I’ve long since resigned myself to the notion that I’ll likely never be immune to the “Chakram Haze” (what Xenite collectors call that glassy-eyed state of drooling stupor that can only be induced by laying eyes on a chakram).

Even our beloved Warrior Princess couldn’t escape the Haze. Same, Xena. Same. 😩

So under the influence of a particularly aggressive case of Chakram Haze, I set out to track down one of each of the types of officially licensed chakram replicas. Alas, despite their beauty, the editions from Icons Replicas, Creation Entertainment, and Todd’s Costumes proved insufficient to sate my compulsion, and soon my collection expanded to include toy chakrams, unofficial fan-made replicas, and even rare prototypes from the test stages of the officially licensed repros. Most of my chakrams are metal (cast aluminum to be exact), but I also have a handful of pieces made of flexible plastic and rigid resin.

There’s a lie hope that I tell myself occasionally that once I (*manifesting, manifesting, manifesting*) obtain a pair of screen-used chakrams—one of the classic design and one of the balanced design—I’ll finally be liberated from the fetters of my chakram obsession. It's a small hope, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Thanks for reading, and if you are so inclined, please share.

[welcome-to-the-cafe]

Shang-Chi (2021) Review Pt. 2

This one will be about the less character-relevant stuff, such as casting, props, settings, and design.

Easiest first: props and costumes.

A bit cool, a bit silly, and bit too "Chinese-themed".

The old Ten-Ring troops had normal armor for the time and age. The new Ten Ring troops looked like the Snake-Eyes fodder ninjas but with tassled helmets. Like I appreciate what they were going for, but...it look dumb dude. And what they were doing with only one hook sword? The electrified thing was cool, but y'all didn't use the bladed hand guard, the combo hook move, the spiked pommel...wasted potential smh. And then the electric arc crossbows....again I appreciate the idea, but that was silly, especially after we showed the Ten Rings sniper with a normal ass gun. Or, just go full sino-futurism and give me the chainsaw spiked club, the electrified monk's spade, taser three section staff.

The villager's clothes were too...saturated, and monochromatic. It kinda reminded me of Mulan (2020) actually, the white people's ancient Chinese clothing. In contrast, in the he TianLongBaBu wuxia series I've been watching, people dress in...normal earth tones. Oh also, too many fucking sandals, where are my black loafers and thick white socks, with rope bindings? Like the kind modern Shaolin monks wear?? The villager's weapons too. Only Xialing's was kind of interesting, the rest are vanilla staffs and sword+shield. Boooo. Where's the dragonscale fangtianhuaji? The dragonscale guandao? Ok I'm done. Just disappointed.

Wenwu's costumes were pure drip in every scene. Zero complaints.

Shang-Chi's letterman's jacket was my favorite costume to be honest. He should not have changed in the village. The final costume seemed a bit too...modern, but not quite to the level of the Black Panther suit. It just seemed like Western superhero top with a vaguely Chinese pattern on it. Or it looked kindof...southeast asian? Wish it had no sleeves.

Katy should've kept her Macau drip. The "traditional" robe just didn't look right.

Xialing looked the best in her inverse Bruce Lee colors crop top and sweats. Like damn.

Ying Li's robes' green is too saturated in my opinion, unnaturally. Same with Michelle Yeoh's character. Now that I think about it, I hardly ever see bright green in traditional Chinese clothes...or modern Chinese fashion. Her pristine white/biege wushu outfit is also meh for me.

Death Dealer's dark blue + yellow colors are quite striking, but a bit odd and out of place with the rest of the Ten Rings' getup. Perhaps it was intentional, since he's the elite trainer? I wish it was more modern, a la Snake Eyes' suit. I would also like to complain about his opera face makeup though; why only the top half? Is that even a real opera face design? It's kind of a dumb half-ass reference I think. Like, Noh masks are used all the time for creepy effect, why not Beijing Opera?

Next, CGI animals.

Morris the Hundun/Dijiang was cute, but I half expected him to suddenly go nuts and devour Slattery, since the Hundun is one of the primordial evil beasts. But Disney needs their marketable mascot. I even saw a Lego piece for him before the movie was released!

The trip through the other world was a bit too safari-like. Like wow, the Ninetails is just chilling by the road, and a herd of Qilin conveniently pass by. The execution of these creatures were fine, though the Qilin eyes were too "dead".

I don't have problems with the Lions' design, but they were completely unnecessary, and lowered the stakes for the final battle for me. Those two lions could literally tear apart all five of Wenwu's trucks in less than a minute.

I stated already, the big evil monster, the little soulsuckers, and the dragon are completely unnecessary to me. Even when I saw just the wood carving of the soulsucking bats, I felt disappointed. Xialing and Shangchi spent way too long riding the big dragon and not doing kungfu :/

Onto settings.

I just recently visited Bay Area! The hilliness of SF was nicely showed off by the bus fight.

Macao seemed well-grounded and normal for a modern Chinese metropolis. Was portrayed better than Tokyo was in Snake Eyes in my opinion. The bamboo scaffolding scene reminded me heavily of Rush Hour 2's Hong Kong fight, and I could hear Jackie Chan assuring us "don't worry, Chinese bamboo, very strong!".

The Ten Rings compound was...eh. No defining features to locate it anywhere real so whatever. But the interior was weirdly homey?

The Ta Lo village is what I really want to complain about: why they gotta throw Chinese people back to the Xia dynasty like that? Straw huts? Really? And there was a total of like 7 buildings there, across a tiny area. That is not a village, it's a medium-sized temple complex. Kung Fu Panda 3's hidden panda village was loads more impressive, with interesting geography. This was on a flat plane next to a pond. Combined with the costuming, it's like hello, it's hokey Western orientalism again.

Casting.

Tony Leung. Perfect. Outstanding. Phenomenal. Sexy as hell. I have recovered fully from Lust, Caution. I see on Tiktok that westerners are thirsting after him, and I am very satisfied. The "Killmonger-Loki" Effect is now the "Wenwu-Killmonger-Loki" Effect. I only wish he were younger, because I hate the "daddy" kink. Mr. Leung, you are a hero to Asian-American men. Thank you.

Awkwafina. Yeah she is pretty good as the unabashed ABC friend. But lately, I feel she has been over-used as the main Chinese-American actress. On some social media, I have seen Black users complain of her 'blaccent' and vow to boycott Shang-Chi in protest. I'm inclined to defend her, as it is probably what she grew up with, and the boycott feels like another attempt to draw moral hierarchical divisions between minorities. Similar sentiment is "yall didn't come out for Black Panther, why should we come out for Shang-Chi?". I don't have any data as to whether 'we' did come out for Black Panther, but I generally disapprove of POC factionalism.

Simu Liu. I'm glad that Westerners are thirsting over him too. I'm glad he's very enthusiastic and affable, and well-liked in the Asian-American community. He's us! And he got a shirtless scene! But the catch is...he doesn't fit the current Chinese standard for "hot guy actor".

From the majority angle: that's toxic af. He's hot enough, why are we being so picky with dumb Asian beauty standards? Will we ever properly support ourselves? Like damn, this is the first Asian-American lead in a goddamn Marvel movie, and this is how you treat him?? By the Heavens.

From the other angle: his eyes are small, his jaw kind of round, head kind of wide. Not the most masculine, but definitely not feminine. He's a normal Chinese-American dude. Chinese dude, Harbin, Heilongjiang born. Compare that to Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Paul Rudd, Chris Pratt, Sebastian Stan, Chadwick Boseman, Anthony Mackie, etc. These are among the finest western specimens; why did the pick the Asian hero to be played by the 'normal-looking' dude? Was Jackson Wang not available? Or Ludi Lin? I personally have a suspicion that his appearance most fits the stereotypical look of an Asian man to Western audiences, and that's why he was cast.

He's received hate for this, from Reddit r/aznidentity, the sub that I frequent, which currently is cheering Shang-Chi's box-office success. That's toxic af, and must be heartbreaking for him. Unfortunately, it's part of the larger conflict of Western and Eastern media, representation, markets, and culture. And that's a big fish to wrangle in part 3.