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weneeya · 5 months ago

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hi!hi!!! this is the same person who requested tht office romance w/ kuroo last time hehe. i love your writing style so much bc its easy for someone like me (who has a deteriorating brain functioning system from all of the brainrot ive been influenced by the internet) to understand and imagine in my silly deluional head XDDD anyways !! id like to request dad! headcanons for the black jackals (specifically, hinata, sakusa, atsumu and bokuto^^) omg maybe a scenario where they find out that reader is pregnant then proceed with the headcanon with how they act with the kid/s i just needed to request this bc my baby fever has been progressively getting worst and i just cant stop thinking abt kids :']] GOODLUCK AND I WISH U WELLLL !!! <3333

baby fever w/ hinata, atsumu, sakusa, bokuto m.list | rules

note. omg thank you sm I'm so happy you loved the one with Kuroo because i loved writing it sm!! and i probably the idea even more because omg the boys as dads?? it's genius idk why i've never did it before! i hope you'll love it just as much <3

Hinata Shoyo

You had been trying to have a baby with Shoyo for a few weeks already, but it was like fate was against the two of you because you seemed to not be able to end up pregnant. You were slowly starting to lose hope ; thank God Hinata was way too positive and optimistic to even think about the worst. It was helping you, in a way.

He was at the gym to train for their next matches when you learned the good news. You didn’t hesitate twice before almost rushing to join him. He was talking with his team, most specifically Bokuto, when you arrived like a fury. Shoyo looked at you with a big smile and you waved at him. He came to you in no time.

“You seemed happy. What’s the news?” He asked with his usual smile, and you almost felt the tears in your eyes. You took his hands between yours, trying not to talk too loudly. “We did it Shoyo! I’m pregnant!” And your words didn’t get the time to fall in the silence.

Hinata held you tightly between his arms, carrying you off the ground and spinning around with you in his arms. Right after your feet finally met the floor again, he cupped your face with his hands to kiss you. “I told you, we needed to be patient!” And you were sure that the rest of the team was going to learn the news sooner than later.

good with children ; he has a little sister after all

always so patient no matter what

not the type to ever yell, so when he get to angry mod, the kid stop immediately

will talk a lot about highschool and his friends ; so proud

take pictures all the time, videos too ; a lot of memories of your baby boy

ready to take a break from volleyball so he could give all his time to you and the baby

Miya Atsumu

Saying that Atsumu was scared of having children was an euphemism. The man was absolutely terrified by the idea. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have a child with you, of course not ; it was just the responsibilities which were so stressful for him. He kept acting cool at first but after some time you’ve been able to understand what was going on inside of his mind.

Until you’ve been confronted with reality. You were alone in the bathroom, and Atsumu was waiting for you right outside of the room. Things were a bit weird with your body lately and you both noticed it. So it wasn’t so surprising that you took a test just to be sure.

You got out of the bathroom, and your gaze met Atsumu’s eyes. You slowly showed him the test, and he could quickly read the answer he was waiting for. You were pregnant. He looked back at you, and he saw that you were about to say something he didn’t want to hear from you.

“Don’t ever say you're sorry,” he started, slowly caressing your cheek with his thumb. “It’s the best news you could have told me. Because we’re going to have the most beautiful baby ever, and I’m going to love you two until the end of my days.” This time, you couldn’t really help the tears which felt down your cheeks. You closed your eyes, and he left a kiss against your forehead.

“I love you,” you told him in a whisper, and he couldn’t help but to smile slowly. “I love you too,” was his answer before he held you tight between his arms. He was scared, of course ; but he couldn’t be happier at the same time because God knew how much he loved you.

the man is an overprotective mother ; almost like he was the one who bear the baby

careful about absolutely everything

acts cool but stressed when something doesn’t go as planned

girl’s dad at 100%

loves to be considered as a princess ; will wear a dress and a tiara

bringing gifts all the time, especially when away because of volleyball

Sakusa Kiyoomi

You already talked about having children with Sakusa, but the conversation was never ending well. In fact, it always ended up in an argument. Your partner was completely closed at the discussion and you couldn’t understand why.

So when you learned that you were actually pregnant, fear ran over you. You cried a lot, for a long time. How were you supposed to say this to him? Was he going to leave you? You were so scared, and it was messing with your poor mind.

Sakusa came home after practice, and he found you in your bed, curled up in the blanket to hide yourself. A sigh left his lips before he took place right beside you after being ready to do so. “What are you hiding from me? Don’t say nothing, I know you too well. There’s something wrong.”

You looked at him and he frowned immediately when he saw the redness of your eyes. You had been crying for quite a while, so he knew he was right ; even if he hoped to be wrong. He slowly caressed your cheek, waiting for you to find the strength to tell him.

“Kiyoomi… I’m pregnant…” You told him in a little voice, and his eyes widened almost right now. He blinked a few times, and you looked away, feeling the tears coming back. “I know, we talked about it, but I…”

Sakusa grabbed your chin with all the softness in the world, making you look back at him. He left a small kiss against your lips. “I couldn’t be happier, my love, I swear.” It was your turn to stay silent, all blinking. This is how you learned that the only reason behind Kiyoomi’s anger towards pregnancy was actually fear because of all the complications.

But if it was for you, he was ready to take the risk. Because having a baby with you was all he could dream of. You just needed to be careful.

biggest girl’s dad ever

will do anything for his baby girl ; even if it meant going out with ribbon in his hair

discreet about his private life but when he sees you two during his matches? can’t hide much longer

completely devoted but still know how to be a little strict

wants his child to have the best education so he’s careful about everything

get scared every time the baby is just a little sick

overly protective ; especially when it comes to boy close to his girl

Bokuto Koutaro

He was made to be a father, you were sure about it. He loved children so much, there was no way he wouldn’t be happy to learn that you were pregnant. But it was still pretty stressful for you, because you were never sure of anything with Bokuto.

Today was the day, because he was finally coming back home after being away with his teams for a few weeks. You couldn’t announce this to him on the phone so you had to wait for him to come back. When he entered your shared apartment, he had a huge smile on his lips. Being able to finally reunite with you was all he could ask for.

You were sitting on the couch, and he almost immediately jumped on you. As the yapper he was, he started to talk about his trip and everything that happened. But you seemed lost in your thoughts, and he noticed it quickly.

“What’s wrong babe?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You met his gaze and a sigh left your lips. “I have something to tell you,” you started, and Bokuto slowly frowned his eyebrows. Something was weird, and he didn’t like it at all. He stayed strangely silent while you were trying to find the right words to tell him the news.

Another long sigh left your lips before you finally decided to say it out loud. “I’m pregnant, Kou.” And the silence after that was long. Too long for you, and you started to worry. Until a huge smile appeared on his lips. He grabbed your hands, eyes wide. “We’re expecting a baby? Really?”

It was like all your worries fled away at this exact moment, and you slowly nodded with a smile on your own lips. “Yes, we’re expecting a baby.” Nothing could go wrong if it was with Bokuto after all.

neither a girl’s dad or a boy’s dad ; just devoted and obsessed with his children

had probably cry more than you when he saw your baby for the first time

it’s like the accomplishment of his entire life

not really the strict parent ; doing half of the stupidities with your boy

will obviously teach him volleyball at the youngest age

always playing with your son when he can ; doing his best to be as present as possible

will show him to the camera during his interviews after a match

always talking about you or the baby to everyone ; really the proudest

a kid himself so obviously he know what to do to make the baby boy laugh

thank you for reading!

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killerrobot-killingmatch · 10 months ago

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For the anon that popped in and anyone else whos wondering this post isnt saying no antiganda: (though I dont rb antiganda so thats just 4 ur followers)

its saying more dont say ur gonna kill yourself or hurt anyone else over a silly poll, or lie about the opponent to make ur fave sound better in a way where they don't need.

U can totally still do antiganda on ur own rb/tags, and more lighthearted threats that aren't about peoples lives.

I'm glad everyone's havig fun but remember I can see your tags please be careful what you're saying in them.

#hope this answered ur question anon #and anyone else who may have gotten unsure to what the original outlined #mod Hera #killer robot office

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court-jobi · 2 months ago

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Tuning Out, Tuning In

((banner by me! I don't own Horikoshi's characters or this art))

Pairing: Bakugou x reader (biker!pro hero, some afab pronouns used)

Words: 5.1K

Rating: T+ (language, bc obviously)

Warnings: Pro-Hero Bakugo/Pro-Hero Reader, cursing as a love language, insecurities, arguing, use of hearing aids (not an expert!), light hurt/comfort, she falls first-he falls harder

Summary:

So he's got context clues down. Smart, but not convincing enough. He's still not hearing you- because he can't. You check on your Katsuki after an unannounced leave of absence, only to discover the true reason why is the source of a mighty insecurity of his that he's expertly kept you out of the loop of till now. He's defensive and mean- uncharacteristically so, towards you when you find out. It's heart-wrenching when he realizes he's snapped at you, and gutting when you love him through it.

A/N: *Can be read as a follow-up in the 'Backpack Privileges' universe, but not necessarily a series. Just how I envision these babies evolving~

For my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!

Read on AO3

News from the girls at the scheduling counter is that Dynamight was actually putting in PTO for the first time this calendar year.

Sure he’s worked hard, but when doesn’t he? It wasn't like he expended so much energy from his last rescue call that he was too tired or anything when you’d last seen him… so the time off request surprised you. Katsuki Bakugou never took time off, even when he’s congested to the point of sounding like a wounded seagull and hacking up a lung.

You called to check on him the first day he was out, but it went unanswered; he texted back instead that he was in the middle of eating and asked what you needed. You told him to rest up, and he proceeded to spam you with the same angry animal memes as always.

At the office, things were at a surprising lull by the end of the week, with Kirishima on your right on the sofa scrolling through some mods Hatsume had for him to review. Meanwhile, you took the rather unprofessional route and scrolled on your phone. Your retort to Kiri’s tutting over the bad habit was that you knew the higher ups were off with Jeanist at some press junket, and you could risk it. Called you a naughty thing, how Bakugou was rubbing off on you. You’re sure even at your hangriest you’re not that prickly.

An instinct, you try calling Bakugou again, this time on speakerphone. It’s been a whole workweek, after all. It rings twice, then straight to voicemail. You end the call before recording anything, and fuss at the phone in your hand.

“Ok, Kiri? This is weird.”

“Hm? What is?”

“He’s never answering,” you lock the phone habitually, “-and I mean never. No ‘hi’, no ‘whaddya want’; did he lose his voice or something?”

Kirishima finally breaks focus to look at you, questioning, “Bakubro?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t– not that I’m trying every day or anything, but it’s been almost a week of nothing and-”

-your phone dings: one new preview of a message from ‘Backpack’ lights your lockscreen, and your frustration ramps up to 60.

“-Then he freakin’ texts– like two seconds later!! What the actual hell is going on with him?!”

Kirishima just snorts.

“Maybe he’s taking a dump~”

“He would not text me on the toilet.”

“All men do it.”

“KIRI.” you swat his foot off the couch that’s laid out towards you, crossing yours while he cackles behind his ipad’s screen.

“Oh cmon, he’s fine! He’s just taking a breather~” Kirishima presses you with an assuring look you’re inclined to buy, because his delivery is just that sweet, “Doesn’t really take time off much anymore, so if he did, he probably needs it. Been doing a lot of those muscle contracts, which pays well! But it’s no joke how much it takes out of you– Kamui wants him, Rocklock wants him-”

You do worry about the workload Bakugou is under given all the names Kirishima rattles off, but your boy’s assured you it’s all part of his drive. That, and he says Bakugou’s saving up for something important for work, but doesn’t disclose more than that.

You don’t press when Bakugou puts up a wall– knowing full well he tells you things when he’s ready. Till now, he’s not given an indication that he doesn't distrust you with anything- not even his life. You have each other’s backs, and that’s an honor that you value and reciprocate. Perhaps it’s by that faith in one another that you should grant him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe one of these days under another starry sky from the back of your bike, he may share his whats and hows and whys to that sweet spot behind your ear, disguising his secrets with yet another kiss he saves for when you’re alone.

But this silence is really throwing you a curveball. Katsuki’s voice is just one of the many things you’ve come to adore about him. When you confessed that little thought to him, he turned a soft answer -a promise- that he’d answer when you called, day or night. It’s a gruff, punchy sound when you hear it over coms, or even through your shared helmets; but it’s also rumbling, constant, soothing when you hear it fitted against your ear.

You never thought you’d even miss Dynamight’s passive aggressive screaming so much– until you don’t have any echo of him in your head at all.

“-or yknow if it’s not his schedule, it’s his body that’s about to quit on him. He’s probably giving his ears a break, if I had to guess!”

“...His ears.”

Kirishima looks up at you again, like his point was obvious, “Yeah. He can’t wear ‘em all the time– they’ve gotta charge, and if he’s sweat them out of their normal place, they pinch-”

Realization forces you to sit up straight, “Katsuki wears hearing aids?”

“Well he has to, with his quirk!” Kirishima tickled himself explaining so, “Kats probably blew out his inner ear in middle school, and it’s only gotten worse the harder he’s trained. He got fitted for new ones sometime last winter which he says are more comfortable than the last ones, but I dunno-” Kirishima cracked his neck in a roll, “I think he keeps' em in too long; and they drive him batty after a while.”

You didn’t like the sound of that.

Down at your phone, you read the text message fully:

Backpack: Knee deep in dishes. What’s up pretty girl.

You decide to answer,

//Waiting on a call for a pickup, just keeping the couch warm~ Up for a call real quick?

‘Backpack’ takes a minute this time. You reason maybe he’s using speech to text given the perfect grammar.

Backpack: Can’t right now.

// Podcast instead? ((eyes emoji))

Backpack: Pass.

//Kiri misses you… ((sad eyes))

Backpack: No he fucking doesn’t.

Backpack: Throw him a bone or try some fetch, he’ll be fine.

You don’t even laugh at the image with how much he’s deflecting talking to you. Laying back, your concern must be palpable because Kiri nudges you with his foot, and you stare at its buckles; anything from looking at his face.

“He never turns down food.”

“What d’you mean.”

“I mean, he’ll need to eat~” Kirishima’s never ending support coats his words. “-and I’d be shocked if he’d turn his Darling DoorDasher down.”

You snorted, “Hush, you.”

Kirishima knew full well about you two- he’s not blind. He knows about dates one, two, well- every date, whether from Bakubro's lips or your own. But while it doesn’t feel new and raw… it feels tender and personal, what you share with your hero off the field– and you don’t want the bubble to burst between you and Katsuki. Not just yet.

-which is why, despite your firm concern deep in your gut reminding you of your plans throughout your shift, you are nervous for your first time going to his apartment, unannounced.

You knock four times, then back away to the near side of the door so it doesn’t hit you when it opens. A lull of ‘nothing’ hung in the air..

You reconsidered, suspicion making you bite your cheek: what if he can’t hear you?

You knock four more times, a bit louder. You’re cringing as you come back to your lean. Shuffling, you do indeed look like a food delivery service- an insistent-looking one, to the couple passing by on the ground floor who look up at you and likely wonder why you don’t just call this a ‘contactless delivery’ and jog on..

“Cmon, Kats…” you bemoan before steeling your nerves. You try just three more times, channeling your inner ‘Dynamight’ yourself and banging at a level that would take it off its hinges before cringing away to your waiting spot.

Bakugou’s neighbor pops his head out of the door opposite you this time– nailing you with a reproachful look. Apologies mouthed, you smile demurely as the sound of a very aware Bakugou approaches now.

“I’M COMING, DAMMIT!”

The neighbor -perhaps wisely- shuts his door as he hears the door about to be unlocked. The way his eyebrows fly up, you infer that he does little to ever cross his hotheaded neighbor.

“ALRIGHT ALREADY- WHAT?!”

He's gorgeous, still. Pissy and caught off his guard, and donned headphones around his neck. But Bakugou double-takes to you with a frozen mouth, watching you push off the siding seemingly unaffected by his outburst and smiling casually.

“Hiya~”

His jaw flexes, but he forces his snarl away. Clearly conflicted at your presence, he pinched his brow.

"Said you were workin’ today. What’re you doing."

"I was in the neighborhood. Brought you a bowl~" you bribed the man's heart with the top way you knew how: a white and red ‘thank you’-covered baggie with the jackpot inside..

He likes kamameshi so he doesn’t hafta chew a ton. If his ear n’ jaw are tired, the softer the better. You can't go wrong with a nice bowl o’comfort… Not like it’d last long with that guy’s appetite on a good day, anyways! Hah!

Hardly one to refuse you (just as Kirishima lovingly predicted), Bakugou stepped aside to let you in, granting you a gentle stroke on your back as you passed him..

Inside, you trade giving him the bag with his offering of your choice in houseshoes. On the far side of the room, the TV is on, including a scroll of subtitles. You look about and the place is spotless- he wasn’t lying about the rage cleaning.

"In the neighborhood, huh?" Bakugou called to you, dishing out the box of takeout while watching you get settled in.

You already said so, but made sure to face him as you speak- eyes all on you. You think that making a sweet delivery is reason enough for your presence here,

"Yeah~ the office drew a short straw on the menu this week, so I’ve been eating out more~ still don’t know how you can mess up potatoes, but sure enough, Feefee’s found a way~" you smile, coming up to his side with a little lilt in your step.

-but Bakugou just drones back,

"Overdue on our lunches, aren’t we sweets. We'll go do something this weekend."

Oh boy. You’re really bad off. A diss at the agency kitchen staff would never go unnoticed by the resident lunch snob, you think to yourself. You may not have lightning fast quips like Kaminari, but c'mon, that was a little funny…

Any other time that Bakugou would willingly suggest a date would thrill you. Maybe he’s even aware that he’s been avoiding you, and is trying to make up for it by suggesting a couple places offhand. But knowing the real reason behind the aversion, it doesn’t warm you the way it always does.

His answer was typical and wasn't really related to what you asked at all, so you watch him take some bites and try again.

You trailed over to his dining kitchenette, taking a seat before him, tone lovely and appropriate for the distance between you.

“You should have seen Kiri’s attempt to make my coffee order. Almost put a pump of salmon oil in instead of simple syrup! But hey, that just means job security for you, yeah? You’re so much better at it.”

You make eyes at the tv behind you as you speak- a test.

He catches your intentional look, but he twists in his seat to glance. Then, focuses back on you and not making a mess of his dish, “Yeah, you can change it if you want.”

So he's got context clues down. Smart, but not convincing enough. Still not hearing.

You try once more, sass tinting your voice as if you were teasing him privately.

"We adopted a purple hippo as an office pet~"

"Mhm," Bakugou picked up on the attitude, pausing and coming to your side with a bit of a swagger he hopes looks natural, "Sure been a crazy week. Missed a lot. We’ll get back to normal soon, yeah? Cmon, let's go watch somethin’."

Your hands fall to your thighs in a resigned slap. Sighing, you look to him desperately, urging him with more enunciation.

"This is bad, Katsuki."

"What's so bad." Bakugou reads your lips and deflects.

You tap your ear with a sympathetic look.

– his demeanor changes. Horribly.

Bakugou steps away in almost disbelief, edgy and firm: a rolling boil starts to simmer behind his eyes. Turning aside, he huffs. Guilty.

He turns tail to the kitchen, cursing under his breath to ‘give him a second.’ Bakugou pushes his stacks of cleaned dishes aside, making a clash of noise even you flinch at. It’s evident the sound doesn’t phase him.

"No, you don't have to put them-"

"I can't fucking HEAR YOU, woman; give me a DAMN SECOND!!"

Coming around the island after him, you see he’s trying to get at the charging dock on the backside of his butcher block.

Watching him fiddle with just his right ear, he turns back and faces you prickly as ever, with arms crossed and barely attempting to rein in his anger.

You are sure now you've struck a nerve if he's acting like this around you. You tread carefully,

"I'm not here to just yap your head off, or commandeer your days off. I… was just concerned."

"About what? I'm fine."

"It's been five days,” you stress gently, “you didn't think I would think it’s weird if you didn’t answer once?"

"I answered you back every time," Bakugou raised his voice a tick, "Every text– never left you on read, cuz I know that feels shitty!"

"I know you did," you give him credit, "But it's– different when we talk, and you know that difference. It's just that you always call back. It just hasn’t felt normal -for you- is all. And I didn’t know there was going to be a reason like this that’s why."

"Well it's not like I could hear the phone ring anyway, so fuck me for that. How the hell’d you find out anyway."

"...I didn't know until Kirishima said something. I was telling him I-"

"Of course it fucking was,” Bakugou huffed again, “Well, it's none of his business, it’s not his problem, and he should kept his DAMN mouth shut."

To trash Kirishima like this -hotheaded and bitter- definitely feels more like an attack than he'd ever mean on a good day. Kiri is his best friend, and clearly close enough to have been there at the first fitting and have a picture perfect memory of it because it mattered so much to his buddy to be there for him. To not let it define him.

You can't pretend to know how sensitive of a subject this is, based on how confident Bakugou is with everything in life: even the litany of scars he wears outlining his hero work aren't off limits to discussion. But his answers come armed with cached ammo and heat.

You certainly don't think yourself entitled to everything about him, but you see now that he clearly hadn’t planned to tell you about his wearing hearing aids, or at least hadn’t intended for you find out this way… so someone had to take the brunt of his ire. You think to be grateful he doesn’t appear ready to snap at you, but you feel so much on the outside, it hurts to watch him sizzle.

You try to take the pressure off the leak of the news, "Where's this coming from, hon?"

Bakugou grunts, looking back to you with a raised brow.

You gestured between you just to talk with your hands a little, "Where is this coming-"

"HELL IF I KNOW!” Bakugou shouts back, “It just IS. I just wanted- it-- Look, just fuckin’ drop it, ok? I will. be back. tomorrow. And everything’ll be like it was before you knew a damn thing, ALRIGHT??"

He's defensive and mean now; the pitch he never aimed at you before now entered the ring.

This was a line you were damned sure not to let any man cross.

"Ok, we're gonna try that again,” you spoke plain as day.

"Try WHAT again??"

"Discussing, not fighting." You stood firm at his counter. You will not be taking up a screaming match under any circumstances, and have to make that clear. "Coming up with an answer -together- because that's what we do when our backs are up against the wall... Not bite the hand that's trying to help. ‘Hit the problem, not the player’."

The words resonate with Bakugou, having been the one who shot that reminder to you not a week ago from his own mouth, and everything in that face full of fire wants to rear back–

"-and before you say ANYTHING else... You will. not. talk to me like that."

You hear the hero’s palms sizzle, and see by the look of hatred he glares at them with that he clearly hates the feel.

Bakugou lets out a growl then goes silent, obeying. He takes a little pace around, finally settling at the tall, bar-height stool, rubs his palms compulsively at his thighs as a reset, and pulls at his head until it lays dejected in those explosive hands propped up on his knees.

Your invitation to stand by him opens when he lifts his head and scowls behind tented fingers. Kindly, you make sure to stand closer to his right to give him the best chance of catching your words.

"Y'know I'm the last one who's ever gonna give you a hard time for this, don’t you?"

Bakugou doesn't answer, but you know he's listening.

"It's hard for me to take time off work too, I don't do it as much as I should. I know it's hard to leave work at work, and you did that on your own, in order to take care of yourself. You know your limits and that’s keeping you alive. That was really wise."

You see a little bob of the head by the slight jostle of his hair.

What bothers you here and now isn’t just selfish thoughts of ‘why didn’t he tell me’, but ‘why didn’t he tell anyone’? It’s clear by what you’ve learned that next to no one knows of his condition. That small aspect of this gives you a little comfort, but opens up a bigger dose of worry. Hearing impairment might be perceived by a bystander as a defect or weakness, but for the old friends and medical experts who surely surround him, you’d feel confident in Bakugou’s care to know he’d surely not think of himself that way.

Surely not… surely not?

“But the thing is, if it's coming down to you hurting and needing help- or just, getting time away if that's what you really want, I can totally get that. But between you and I? We've gotta figure out how you really feel about this, because it’s eating at you. Affects everything you do at some point, right? Can't have you working yourself to the bone here, overworking your senses out there, feeling like you can’t speak for days on end, setting things off, either. Even accidentally."

You swipe along his shoulder and arm sweetly, just for a little connection.

“I… I really do care about you, Katsuki. I don't want you to feel you have to manage it all on your own. I want to be someone you can have in your back pocket for help- even with something like this.”

A ‘ride or die’ offer if there ever was one.

Bakugou looks in the direction of your hand. The smooth, unscarred hand you sport is so different from his own. Proof of the softness he lost a long time ago, his sunken eyes tell you. He blinks, and it’s a pensive, sad sight.

"M'sorry."

The hoarseness in that proud voice fell hollow.

To anyone else, it may sound apathetic and half-assed, but Bakugou held so much ‘punch’ in his daily speech that you realized this apology featured the even breath of emotion. Restraint. His control. His gentleness.

“You can't help how your body works, Kats. You don't have to apologize for what's happening naturally. This is... just a side effect, unfortunately.”

“T’snot that,” he said limply.

A second attempt to finish for him, you try again studying the takeout boxes left open. “I.. get you not telling me, too. It’s not my business either.”

Bakugou shakes his head, with a dismissive jerk of the head altogether. Instead he lifts up, miserably.

"I don't talk to you that way."

Through a brief silent showdown, you accept his apology. As rough as he is even with his own mother, Bakugou has framed a different ring for you two to dance in, and harshness doesn’t belong in it.

"You don’t,” the agreement is established, “that's how I knew something's out of whack. Plus, I mean.. if you can’t pick up background noise, it must be hard trying to match volume in a space, right?"

Bakugou’s hoarseness fails him, falling to which air, "That's a shit poor excuse. You were right. I know the difference."

Meekly reaching for hip, the man sniffles: pulling you the rest of the way between his bent legs.

You step in and he crumbles into your core, strong hands encircling your hips.

"I'm sorry," he swears.

"It's ok..."

Bakugou squeezes you in, "It's not. Ok. You should have slapped me for that shit.”

“I’m not doing that, either,” you get weary hearing how the guys rough each other up. You’re certainly not applying the same tactics to him of all people.

“Well, it’s inexcusable. I respect you more than to do that. Know better.”

"I forgive you, then."

"You shouldn't, so easily.”

Chin jutted on his still-bowed head, your answer comes simply but openly:

"...That's commonly called love, Katsuki. I love you. That’s what I do."

He's silent and frozen. The only sign of life is that he is -in fact- breathing still.

You said these, the magic words, in record time for anyone you've held affection for... and you didn't care. You loved Katsuki. Loved all of him. Even the prickly bits that threatened to square up at you like a bull.

Friendship was an surprisingly easy test for you two.

Partnership, battle-proven in the public sphere.

But this is the final straw that you’ve been keeping safe and special. Telling Katsuki you loved him would push things to a deeper level than you felt the term ‘boyfriend’ afforded you both at thirty years old. In loving him, and no one else, you just wanted to call him ‘yours’ already and be done with searching for the One.

Since he doesn’t speak, you busy yourself elsewhere. He may not answer nearly as quickly as you given how on-the-spot he mulls in currently… but he hasn’t let go of you, which is a good sign. Good enough for you.

Your mind veers a bit in the quiet. You think to yourself about what feels nicest when you've had your helmet on too long; athletes deal with it, racers deal with it.. Anyone who wears a support item with internal padding giving cushion around the head is bound to force unnatural pressure on every angle for the sake of protection.

On you, this tension lies just behind the ears.

To soothe it, you’d usually draw a sun: a half circle design, zigzagging up and down with your fingertips, creating lines of relief along the tender sides of your head. It's to help the blood flow, and the scratches crackle nicely to the ear canal. Acts as white noise to the senses which is often a welcome change to the low thrum of a headache or grating road noise.

So with careful fingers, a mind set on comfort and a heartful of soft love for this man, you draw twin suns deep within Katsuki's hair.

…within seconds, he wept.

Bakugou softly cries and he holds you close. He turns in his seat, pulling you to fit even tighter between his knees with no gap of room between you.

When he can regulate his breaths down to calm blows from his lips, he shares more what's on his mind, down the space between you.

"...that feels really good."

"I hoped so~. So your head bothers you too, after a while. Having them in all the time?"

He turns his head finally to rest on one side, the functionally deaf side leaning into your chest... listening out for a heartbeat it seems.

“N’it’s all inside, so it’s hard to touch it unless I pump myself full of horsepills… makes m’stomach hurt."

From head to toe, he’s being honest about what this means for him. "The thing that’s meant to help, hurts? I’m sorry, hon."

He's still swallowing back his emotions, so you don't press for what he wants to say when it's clear he's focused on getting good rhythm back.

"My arm gets numb sometimes, too."

You're surprised at this, as more pieces fit together you didn’t know were necessarily missing, "-Yeah?"

"It's somethin' in the tendons. Can fight fine, but small moves are weird. I can't pick up a fucking piece of paper right. N'holding my phone hurts some days."

With a kiss to his hair, you see the teed-up ‘in’ to make him laugh,

"Well, who're you gonna be texting anyway, now that I won't be blowing up your phone?"

He tuffs. Joking aside, you hugged you close. “Gotta to back to that dumbass doctor, don't I."

"They can check your nerve endings with a scan. See if there's a reason for it."

Bakugou accepts this and continues his baring of his heart. He mentions old pains, some new ones, even some random details about which oscillating fans he likes on or off because of how warm he runs. Some of it relates to his work, some not, but you take it all in. Each little snippet he offers up reminds you of penguin pebbling.

Satisfaction rang through you with the news that caused the biggest physical response in him: he confessed after all that he hadn’t wanted to ignore you at all, and it shows.

His hands massage at you– never getting enough.

“V’missed your voice too,” Bakugou’s voice finally seeps back in- that low, growly rumble of the chest you wanted to play on loop, “But I know I needed that break. I wanted 'em out, just for a little while. Even if I didn’t want to miss the good that comes from keepin’ em in.”

“That’s fine to want. Anytime you need.”

Bakugou turns exploratory with his hand. With the one not locked around your waist keeping you to him, he gives long scritches across your back, up front to hold your side- rooting him.

“N’for the record, not everyone knows. It’s probably in a record somewhere, so it’s not really been taboo or anything. No one’s ever banned me from fighting; not yet at least. It’s not a secret. But… s’been so long, I’ve… never had to explain them to anyone. Sure as shit don't tell the public.”

Tender fingers seek out the soft inner side of your wrist, just a small touch.

“But you…I didn’t know how to open that up. Seems like a random ass thing to drop on you.”

You understand, and think it sweet that he at least had contemplated telling you at some point– but now, you could only look to his future and knew this would only help you moving forward.

"Nothing’s random if it’s important to you. So head scratches are a yes. Fast food is a yes, keeps you out of the stores. Anything else I should keep in mind to help?"

Bakugou thinks, but just holds onto you with a little nuzzle, "Not now. Yer doin’ it."

Happy and soft, you smile, "Okey~"

After a minute, he's matched your breathing, and you only move when he lifts his head to chin up at you from his spot. You smile expectantly seeing him less harsh around the edges and looking at you on the softer side of pitiful. Like he's looking to you for the solution-- neck bared and showing a rare vulnerability.

"You're my hero, Kats," you dote on him. Hands through his hair, scritching at the base, "y'know that right?"

"Damn right."

"And you aren't anywhere near throwing in the towel over this."

His smirk returned, "Damn right."

Bakugou’s neck received more soothing treatment again– making his eyes flutter,

"Because my Lord Explosion has way too many baddies left to murder before he allows anyone get to his getaway driver, right?"

Finally showing signs of his spark back, Bakugou growls his pleasure.

"Y'talking about murder does things to a man, baby."

"Thought it might... I mean every word though. You take such good care of me, Kats. Let me do the same for you sometimes, ok?"

"... Yeah alright," he finally caves easily with tepid palms smoothing over the back of your thighs. Still keeping you close, forehead falling to rest against you, you feel finally content that your presence has helped him.

All your one-sided concerns now settled, you feel glad that your update to Kirishima later will share that Bakugou’s okay– and will likely add in a fair heads-up that he might still be pissy with him come Monday.

After some cursory scratches across his shoulders, you remember to hold out a hand by his eye level. Bakugou hums when he notices it, and raises his hand to hold yours-- only for you to dodge it, and keep it open.

Let me have it, silly.

After checking ‘what on earth you were getting at’, he tilts to see your fingers open again. The blond head of hair at your chest sighs, decides, then takes the lone hearing aid out and returns it into your open palm. With careful depositing, you set it on the counter behind you with the note-to-self to put it back with its mate– and return your hands to yours.

Bakugou centered himself by breathing you in. Once he had you snug in his arms again, he pressed a firm kiss through your shirt, hoping you felt everything he couldn’t say behind a tight throat.

You thought it silly, but with him resting fairly tame right on your chest, you thought you'd try a little enrichment for him:

That stupid song from the pop-up takeaway truck was still stuck in your head, so you started humming it to him.

With how high you stood above him doling out scritches to his temple, you missed how his eyes opened for a flash in recognition of today’s current brainrot love ballad; but you didn't miss how he pressed in closer to you and really listened.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #mha fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha #bnha

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medlarmeadows · 2 months ago

Note

a close streamer friend gaming with charlie or doing a ylyl stream with him?? but secretly in love with him? and the chat picks up on it and they end up trending on twitter with their ship name???? which kinda forces the two of them to confront and talk about their feelings???

only if you want to write this, of course <3 i love charlie i cannot get enough of your writing

Thank you for the request and your kind words anon! This was so fun to write and really is a feel good fluffy fic. I hope this piece is up to your expectations :)

you smile you snooze (i do, when i’m with you)

cc!Charlie Slimecicle x streamer!reader

Synopsis: You Laugh You Lose turns out to be a lot harder when Charlie lights up your life with every smile.

Warning(s): light swearing.

Word count: 1.4k

masterlist || requests are open!

“Okay, enough! We need to up the stakes.”

You raise an eyebrow at your good friend, Charlie, who sits by your side in his own office chair. The both of you have headphones on, the sound of a submitted funny video streaming through them.

“What do you mean?” you feign confidence, switching your gaze between Charlie and the camera. “The stakes are pretty high at the moment, I mean, we both have one heart left.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see the one heart on each of your corners of the OBS scene.

“Yeah, for the past thirty minutes,” he argues. “We need to up the ante! More viewership! Mo-ney.”

He throws out the last parts jokingly, making you roll your eyes and bite your lips to keep yourself from laughing.

Giving in, because you always do, you ask, “So, what do you suggest?”

Charlie snaps his fingers towards the audience.

“Instead of You Laugh You Lose, we’re now playing,” he pauses dramatically, “You Smile You Snooze!”

True to your job as a streamer, you insert your own flavour of entertainment by slumping down in your chair exasperatedly.

“Charlie,” you whine, “that’s going to be so hard.”

“Exactly why we’re going to do it,” he insists, staring back at you for your confirmation.

You grumble and glare at him briefly before glancing at chat, curious to see what their opinions were:

yes, up the stakes! it was getting boring anyways we’ll see who’s the best at not smiling i bet y/n’s gonna lose y/n can’t keep her smiles to herself! mods run a poll? have you seen how y/n looks at charlie? she’ll lose immediately she’s a goner, she smiles whenever she looks at Charlie

You blink hard. Certain chat messages sear into your corneas.

Were you that obvious?

Glancing back at Charlie, you realise that he’s still staring at you, patiently waiting for your response. You feel your cheeks warm, even though you’re certain that he hasn’t read the chat yet.

Not being able to smile at your good friend turned crush was going to be a huge struggle for you.

You sigh.

Goddamnit, you were going to lose, but anything for the views, right?

“Fine,” you answer resolutely. “You Smile You Snooze it is!”

And so, the two of you resume the media playlist with the new challenge of not smiling. The submitted videos turned out to not be that challenging to stay poker-faced at, but Charlie’s quips would often tickle your funny bone in a way that had you breathing in slowly to keep your poker face.

Curse Charlie and his good humour.

The two of you made it through a good fifteen minutes without anything crazy happening, until someone submits an edit of the YLYL stream.

“What’s this? You guys are fast,” comments Charlie.

“This better not be an embarrassing one,” you add, biting your lower lip to prepare yourself for the worse.

The edit gets straight to the point, compiling all the moments from the stream thus far of you smiling at Charlie. Heartwarming music floods your ears, barely piercing through the sudden blood rushing through your eardrums.

Panicked, your eyes glance at chat before you can stop yourself:

whoever made that is doing the Lord’s work isn’t that a little against their boundaries? what’s their duo name? no shipping guys! aw they’re actually really cute wish someone would look at me the way y/n looks at charlie

Charlie’s voice interrupts your reading, jolting you slightly:

“Dude, we should’ve done You Smile You Snooze earlier,” he snorts. “You would’ve lost so bad from the beginning.”

You turn your head to look at Charlie with wide eyes, thoughts reeling about whether he was teasing for the sake of teasing or if he was beginning to catch on to you, when you notice the expression on his face.

The way his eyes crinkle a little. The way the corners of his mouth are lifted.

He’s smiling.

“YOU’RE SMILING!” you yell at him, pointing a finger at him.

His expression turns shocked at your outburst, before he leans back in his chair in defeat.

“Damnit,” he says, although he doesn’t sound all that upset about the loss.

Meanwhile, you get out of your chair and start a victory dance for yourself, losing yourself in the euphoria of winning the YLYL stream.

You miss the fond smile that rises back on Charlie’s face as he gazes at you.

“Yo, we’re trending on Twitter,” Charlie says in between bites.

It’s been two hours since the YLYL stream. You’re still at Charlie’s place because he insisted that the two of you should just have dinner and hang out together while you’re there. You didn't object.

“We are?” you ask curiously, scooting closer to Charlie to look at his phone screen.

“Mm,” he replies nonchalantly, clicking on a post and passing the phone to you. “We even have a ship name now.”

“What?”

Your eyes bulge from your sockets and you stare at Charlie. He shrugs, too calm and collected for your racing heart, and gestures for you to have a look at the tweet he pulled up.

It begins with a hashtag of your ship name, followed by “get you a duo that smiles at each other the way charlie and y/n smile at each other”. Below that was a side-by-side comparison of two screenshots from the YLYL stream, one of you smiling at Charlie while he wasn’t looking, and vice versa.

Your eyes glance back and forth between the phone screen and Charlie’s expression. While your brain is working a hundred miles an hour to come up with some sort of damage control, Charlie looks relaxed, almost satisfied or relieved.

“I – We – ” your words stutter as you struggle to focus on a topic. When you look back at Charlie, you scoot yourself a little away from him, nerves suddenly taking over from the proximity and the tweet.

Finally, you settle on accusation:

“Why are you so calm?”

“I mean,” Charlie reaches for another piece of fried chicken, “it’s no big deal. We’re friends. Let the chat think what they want to think. Unless… ”

He trails off, taking a bite of his chicken and chewing too slowly for it not to be deliberate.

“Unless what?” you push. You’re sure you look a little frazzled, still embarrassed and shocked by the post and the emergence of a ship name.

Charlie swallows before leaning closer, closing the gap that you created, saying:

“Unless you actually like me.”

You stare at him. It feels as though something in your brain has short circuited as you register his statement. As you juggle around the possible answers you could give and the potential situations they could create.

You know your face is turning red, what with how your cheeks are warming and how fast your heart is racing, so you shove Charlie’s shoulder a little first, unable to give an actual answer yet.

Letting you push him, he leans back, away from you, a smile lifting on his face.

“It’s okay if you do. I like you too.”

You stare again, your mouth opening and closing like a goldfish as you try to come up with something intelligible to say.

“Huh?”

Charlie is laughing now, full-bellied, head thrown back. At his response, you bristle a little, overthinking his words.

“Wait,” you say nervously. “Do you actually like me?”

You fiddle with his phone, dropping your eyes to the screen to examine the tweet again. Studying the screenshots, you can’t help but think that the kind of smile Charlie wore was the same one you had whenever you looked at him.

The phone is gently pried from your grip and placed face down on the table, forcing you to look at its owner. Instead of the humour that filled his eyes, Charlie now looks at you with utmost sincerity.

“I’m being serious. I like you.”

Staring into Charlie’s eyes, taking in the face of the man that made you smile in every situation, you find yourself being honest:

“I like you too.”

His eyes brighten, and the smile appears on his face again. The same smile that he wore in the screenshot, you realise. His smile is infectious, causing your lips to lift into a wide smile that reaches your eyes.

“Guess we’re both snoozing and losing today,” you quip, sending Charlie into a fit of chuckles before he’s pulling you close to him.

When Charlie retweets the aforementioned tweet, Twitter goes nuts for days.

#medlar's requests #charlie slimecicle #charlie slimecicle x reader #slimecicle #slimecicle x reader #q!charlie slimecicle #q!charlie slimecicle x reader #q!slimecicle #q!slimecicle x reader #charlie slimecicle imagines #charlie slimecicle fluff #slmccl #charlie slimecicle fic #cc!charlie slimecicle x reader #cc!charlie slimecicle fic #cc!charlie slimecicle fluff #cc!slimecicle x reader #cc!slimecicle fluff

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aziraphales-library · 3 months ago

Note

Hii mods

I was wondering if you had any fics where azi and Crowley are on tv shows?

Like I’ve seen ones about them on strictly, would I lie to you, antiques roadshow, bake off, the office, but it’s super hard to find fics like that because I’m not aware of there being a specific tag for stuff like that ? (Apart from human Au ig).

Thank you for everything you do on here btw lol :))

Hello! We have an #actors au tag you might be interested in (which includes Slow Show, so there's no need to add it in the notes!). Here are some TV show fics outside of the ones you've already listed...

First dates by Amyk89 (M)

Do you know that reality TV show called First dates? This is a human au, where Aziraphale goes on that and meets bartender Crowley there. If you haven’t seen the show, it’s just about 2 people going on a blind date, then at the end of their first date, the host asks if they want to go on a second date. It’s super awkward. But just imagine how awkward it’ll be when you’ve been flirting with the bartender the whole night?

666 Heartbeats by AppleSeeds (T)

Aziraphale is a contestant on his favourite game show, 666 Heartbeats, where the amount of time he will have to answer the questions is dictated by how fast his heart is beating. If he wants to win big, he'll just have to stay calm. Easier said than done when he has an enormous crush on the host, who won't stop reassuringly touching him.

A Narrow Escape to the Country by shaggydogstail (T)

Crowley and Aziraphale appear as house hunters on BBC daytime institution, Escape to the Country. They are incredibly annoying. Sympathies, please, for the unlucky producer who is not getting paid enough to put up with their nonsense.

How to Win a Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Television (and how not to) by GaryOldman (T)

Crowley hosts a late night comedy talk show. Aziraphale hosts a feel good morning talk show. When Crowley is asked to present Aziraphale with a lifetime achievement award, everything goes a bit skew-whiff. ----- Normally when I don’t get something that everyone else seems to be mad on my first point of call is the wonderful world of the internet, but we’ve had a falling out you see, the internet and I. Despite my many years as late night show host meets investigative journalist meets comic genius meets veritable sex god (though Wikipedia only acknowledges the first of these accomplishments, despite my many attempts at editing the listing) they have turned on me. I’m a gif. And a meme.

Dating in the Dark by miraworos (E)

Anthony J. Crowley, owner of a failing joke-shop, and Aziraphale, bookshop proprietor with an overbearing family, meet as contestants on a blind dating show. They form an instant connection as roommates but soon find themselves at odds as they compete to win the top spot, and the favor of the same lady.

Married at First Sight by Aracloptia (T)

“Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting. “That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own annoyance that somebody called a wedding a ‘thing’. “Yeah, obviously, didn’t miss that part,” Crowley said with a shrug, and waved abruptly in Aziraphale’s general direction. “Neither did you, from the looks of it, since you’re dressed like a wedding bride and everything.” “Excuse me, I am a—“ Aziraphale stopped himself, and started over. In which Aziraphale ends up marrying a rude stranger who wears sunglasses.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #human au #television #reality television #mod d

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your-local-grinning-cat · 6 months ago

Text

The Ultimate Compilation Callout Part 3.5

(Because this woman doesn’t know when to quit, how to achieve any sort of personal growth, or what therapy is!)

I’m putting it under a cut to not clutter up the feed like usual, but please look because we mods believe she has added a new blog to her roster that needs to be added to your block list!

Ya’ll know the drill.

NO HARASSING. JUST BLOCK AND GO.

So, it seems our lovely mod is back and has realized… uh oh. They’re not hiding anything. I can’t hold anything over their head or against them because they didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t have a leg to stand on here.

Blaming everything on Leona’s mod didn’t work! They didn’t believe my obvious lies…

Time to try some different tactics!

So, first of all, let’s make another new blog. But this time I’m not going to announce it’s mine! That’s how they found me last time! I’ll be so sneaky! They’ll never suspect and I’ll reintegrate myself into the twst rp community and everything will go right back to the way things were before.

Except… remember that whole thing about how she roleplays all of her characters exactly the same way?

Yeah. That.

Now, to be clear, we mods do not know this for certain. And I’m sure if you ask the blog’s mod will deny it either way.

But she has a history of denying she’s the mod of a blog she has been confirmed to own and admin… and also has a history of giving out pictures of “herself” and claiming they are her when they are not. So be on the lookout for that kind of “proof” as well if you do feel brave enough to approach and ask.

See this would be the kinda fun stuff you would have seen in a Part 4… Did you think I was joking when I said I had other things that hadn’t been seen yet?

Anyway, here is the blog we are THINKING is her new way of trying to sneak her way back into the twst rp community. While still acting the exact same way as she always has - incredibly rude, agressive, confrontational, disrespectful, and mean.

To be fair to her, she did pick a good character to try to come back in as. Because you can absolutely argue General Lilia are those character traits.

But isn’t it fairly telling that she has confirmed blogs for Malleus, Meleanor, Baul, and Sebek’s mother? What’s one more Diasomnia blog - specifically a past Diasomnia fae… who can get away with acting like an ass.

Which she specializes in.

Now, this isn't much, I didn't take many screenshots because I was not going to spend a whole bunch of time on this, but also because the blog is very, very new. So there aren't a lot of posts up anyway. How interesting, right? But already you can see that this very new General Lilia seems to act and write an awfullllllll lot like a certain mod we all know…

And, of course, even if she didn’t announce it was her blog (IF it is), in the short amount of time it has been active she still couldn’t resist interacting and roleplaying with herself.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again - if she wants to control the roleplay narrative so badly, she should just write fanfiction.

So, while we mods are not 100% positive…

We are pretty sure this new General Lilia blog is the Malleus mod’s newest rp side blog.

So get out that block button once again and block:

General Lilia Vanrouge @/general-lilia-vanrouge

~~~

Now, I did say she was trying different tactics. Plural.

That was the first. Here is the second.

Awwww… it seems she is finally trying to do some damage control. :)

Aaaand yet she still did not apologize for falsely accusing Leona’s mod, lying about different things for months, being a terrible person for months… the list goes on.

Also... as a note... saying you apologize for "everything" is a cop-out. It's a catch-all phrase where you try to get your forgiveness but you don't actually have to acknowledge what it is you're apologizing for. If you even know... or if you even agree that that is what your apology is for. So your "everything" could not include what we want you to apologize for, because you may not agree that you need to apologize for it.

This is why the best apologies are specific and far more personal than this short little "Hey please forgive me for everything and being mean and things (I'm still not saying anything about changing though lol that would require actual regret on my part)... I totally understand if you don't want to accept my apology though... but I'm being sincere and authentic though, so it would be really rude not to."

IN COMES CASTAWAY WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!

@/castaway-achlys DIDN’T LET US DOWN DURING THE BIG DRAMATM AND THEY DON’T LET US DOWN NOW! Castaway is fr the real MVP of this entire thing, guys. They have been in the DM trenches with this lady since before it all went down, going toe to toe with the lying beast.

They really be slaying the dragon here! No need to wait for someday - our prince/knight in shining armor is here today!!! /hj

OKAY!

FORGET KNIGHT OR PRINCE!!

CASTAWAY OUR KING OVER HERE!!! 🙌

Can we tell that I'm so sick of having to add shit to her pile of sins? The more things add up the more I'm willing to add comic relief. Grow the fuck up lady... and this is coming from someone that just used a minion gif

Y'all keep acting like I'm the one who started this.

Nah, guys, that's Castaway.

I'm just the compiler with sassy commentary. I called her out on Discord and I've put all of this in one place but Castaway has been the one holding the sword. Go give him some love. They say they don't need it but they deserve it. If we're out here doing this for Leona's mod then let me do this for him. He's had to deal with the mod far more than I have.

Anyway, now that I have gifted you all with your daily dose of "my friends Leona mod and Castor mod are awesome please love them like I do," just know Malleus mod responded to Castaway saying something that basically boiled down to:

"I'm not a liar but whatever. If you're going to be rude I'll just block you and everyone again. The apology wasn't for you, I was just trying to get to Leona's mod."*

Alright, so no apologies for the rest of us (sorry @/elysia-nsimp you're still SOL 😔) for her numerous lies and her attitude, but hey! If Leona's mod wants to get stressed out again they can unblock Malleus's mod and chat. :)

Needless to say, Leona's mod will not be doing that, though Malleus mod's apology did "get to her" lmao what a way to word that too - I remember it specifically because of how shifty it sounded.

*I'm going to be honest... I legitimately just did not care enough to go and get the actual screenshot of her comment. I had already taken screenshots of the first parts where she posted and Castaway responded. I was editing other screenshots when I learned of her reply - I went and read it, rolled my eyes, and left to go back to editing pics. When I realized I had forgotten to grab a screenshot... I just decided I am too tired to go back and get it. I've been completely honest and open about literally everything up to this point. This is the first thing I have paraphrased. Unfortunately, from what I can tell, she has already deleted Castaway's reblog on her end and thus her response to them. Now, Castaway's response will remain up because once something is reblogged by someone it remains on their blog. But Malleus mod's response to them is now gone as far as I can tell. So, since I did not grab a screenshot, their response to Castaway is technically hearsay unless someone provides the screenshot of it that I failed to take. I've been transparent this entire time - I'm not going to stop that policy now.

There's this update!

Now, can someone go take away this apparently grown woman's internet privileges, please?

The Ultimate Compilation Callout

Hey Guys! AR OOC once again to say I am 100% done.

I'm done with this. I thought it was finally dying down and the drama was finally getting to be over with but then she came back and is now trying to say that we are the ones in the wrong. And she is STILL trying to blame Leona's mod when, as both @/castaway-achlys and I have stated numerous times at this point, they were asleep during the entire event. They did not ask for us to defend them. We were both just tired of hearing our friend be exhausted and stressed out by her.

And the fact that so many people have come out to give their own experiences of her being rude and cruel to them just proves this is not a singular event.

I'm putting all this under a cut because it's gonna get long guys. In fact, I’m probably going to end up needing to create a couple reblog chains to get it all out.

But I'm done playing nice. I have all the receipts. Like I went allllll the way back to when the discord was first created. I caught her in her first lie.

Which, coincidentally, her very first lie in the Discord server happened on the very first day it was formed. What a way to start.

I call her the Malleus mod as an identifier in these screenshots, because unlike her, I am not petty enough to reveal peoples’ personal information on the internet just because I don’t like them.

HOWEVER. I will remind everyone that she is not JUST the owner of the Malleus account. Even if you don’t want to look under the read more because there are a LOT of receipts, know that these are all her known blogs.

I do not condone harassment. Harassment is basically what started all this. Just block and go.

Malleus Draconia @/therealmalleusdraconia

Falena Kingscholar @/the-falena-kingscholar

Aijuka (A Leona gf OC) @/the-one-aijuka

Jack Howl @/frosh-jack-howl

Fellow Honest @/fellow-honest

Meleanor Draconia @/meleanor-draconia

Baul Zigvolt @/baul-zigvolt

Sebek’s Mother @/thethickestone

Marja Felmier @/marja-felmier

And her latest: Eric Venue @/ericvenue

(Bonus non-rp blog @/thetwistedminds)

Before we get too far into it I will say there is a slight color code! But only a tiny one!

Gross light green color - look at that lie! 👀

Gross darker green color - a lie is revealed! 🤭

Orange - note the date/time! 🗓️⏰

Let me show you what I mean in the lie I’ve already mentioned - her very first one. :)

There we have the orange, telling you to note the date. That’s because I was wanting to make sure it was known that the pet posts were made on the same date that the discord was created.

And then we have the gross light green around Malleus mod claiming that this bunny is her bunny and that it was her bunny’s birthday recently.

Now here is the follow up with the gross darker green of a lie revealed. 😌

And there we have it! The color coding system and her very first lie told the very first day the Discord channel was active and easily disproven with an image search.

Now let’s get into the FUN STUFF! /sarc

We’re going to be doing some rehashing here but I’m also going to probably be including some new things so stay with me folks! This’ll be a ride! Buckle up!

So, originally I was thinking I'd start with the current drama. But considering that a lot of that has already been covered and what hasn't been covered needs more context, I'm just going to keep going in chronological order, I guess.

I've been up for over 24 hours compiling receipts, editing them to protect IDs, and then getting them all sorted so let's finally do this so I can pass out!

First up is something that actually has been covered a bit but I'm going to expand on it slightly - her blatant lie to @/elysia-nsimp (I'm not tagging anyone because I'm not forcing anyone to get notifications on this lmao).

Here's what everyone has already seen. But to expand on the event, we didn't call her out on her bad behavior, even though we probably should have as she had just lied straight to another mod's face about her blog ownership. I simply DM'd the mod in question privately to make sure they were okay and then tried to keep the peace in the main chat.

Because, believe it or not with this major callout post, I don't generally like confrontation. But I stepped in there for Elysia and I stepped up during this for Leona's mod.

Now, later that night, she posts this as if nothing had happened and she hadn't just been told that she needed to work on her roleplaying skills:

Uh huh. Sure. That's your last account. Because you have shown so much self-control when it comes to filling character voids within the twst rp community already. I'll be generous and give you a month before you break.

Now these next ones need a tiny bit of background information and a note: the Malleus mod is German and, as far as we know, lives in Germany. These next pictures are little indicators that she has not experienced the United States at all. These indicators may not seem important now, but they will be in just a little time. So keep them in mind for after the pause.

You cannot tell me anyone who has spent any length of time in the United States has not at least heard of Walmart.

Quick pitstop to say wow! You didn't even make it a month! Congratulations!

Also, note the question from the admin and the pretty obvious passive aggressiveness from me. We were sending plenty of hints that they needed to stop - sometimes coming outright and saying it, sometimes simply implying. Either way, we were all ignored.

She says she's not a mind reader. Well, apparently she's just not a reader period.

Now... a bit of an oddball here. And I want to say I do not necessarily think this is a lie. I am including it for a lie that is coming. The one that I included all those America comments for.

I'm sure you will note that I said that I don't "necessarily think" it's a lie - indicating that I do think it could be a possibility. That would be correct.

She has been lying since day one and, after this doozy of a story I'm about to share with you, I honestly don't know what to believe when it comes to her.

So.. to sum this up...

We went from a cringe ask from an OC account that she didn't want to answer -> the asker wasn't supposed to be on tumblr because they were underage (???) and was trying to date her irl and somehow had all of her information (oh but don't worry guys she deleted the ask!) -> he found her social media accounts and sent her NSFW pictures and started spam liking, demanding pictures of her kids, sent pictures of her at-the-time boyfriend, sent pictures of his family and his kids -> so she blocked him on everything and then started spam creating the rp accounts to see if he did it with other people or if it was just her (...mmmhmmm...) but nope he was only interested in Malleus -> she then apparently moved to America for a bit to crash with her boyfriend because this underage person went to Germany to find he.

Oh, by the way, why was this guy obsessed with her? Oh, he was obsessed with German women. He decided that all German women were pretty. And she's German-Russian! And Russians have intense standards for women you know! After this guy found out she was German AND Russian, I mean... it was only a matter of time before he upped his game to try to find her!

Guys, she's not saying she's too beautiful for her own good - the underage stalker speaks for itself!

Now, since this stalker found her through her Malleus account and was obviously very determined, you would think the first course of action would be to, ya know, delete the Malleus blog. Right?

No, no, no! Then she would have to start all over and, of course, if she switched accounts she would be forced to make a post on her current blog saying what her new blog is and he would just find her there. That's why she's trying to make her other accounts more active than her Malleus account (her Malleus account was still, by far, before all this happened, the most popular of all her rp blogs)!

Can I also mention that in that post announcing her pregnancy ON HER MALLEUS ACCOUNT WHERE SHE SUPPOSEDLY HAS A STALKER, she had tagged ALL OF HER BLOGS AT THE TIME?

But yes, Malleus mod. I definitely believe your story. :)

Please. Please tell me you all can understand why I just cannot find it in me to trust a single word coming out of this woman's mouth.

Especially now that during this whole drama, she has been lying through her teeth and trying to pin the entire blame on Leona's mod.

Now this part is nearly over (thank whatever gods anyone believes in) but let's just post the last few of the "before drama happened" pictures, shall we?

...I'm realizing I didn't underline the part where I called her out for having that many blogs in the gross dark green of a lie caught... oops. This is what happens when you have far too little sleep.

But either way, here is another time when she was called out on a lie of hers. And her little comment at the end means she read it and she acknowledged us.

She just didn't care because it didn't suit her.

~~~~~~

ALRIGHT!

THAT'S THE END OF PART ONE!

Yeah. This is going to come out in PARTS. I can't cover it all in one post because there is a picture limit.

So, I'm going to end up making a reblog chain...

Eventually.

Real talk? I need to sleep. Desperately. It's nearly two in the afternoon where I am and I have not slept yet.

Do not underestimate the power of spite and my loyalty to my friends. Both are very strong motivators.

But my body's needs are finally winning.

When I wake up, I'll have the Ultimate Drama Arc to post and expand upon and then the Return of the Drama Arc.

Yay. (said in the most unenthused voice ever lmao)

Anyway. Enjoy all this. I'm gonna go die. /j

#malleus mod with the general lilia blog: don't be suspicious don't be suspicious... *acts exactly like she always does*#the rest of us: *looks at the screen like we're in The Office*#I was thinking of coming back as che'nya tonighttttttt #and then THIS #and I want this post to be left up on my blog for a while so people can see it hopefully #and it's already late where I am #*bangs head against wall*#maybe tomorrow #I can at least answer old things and keep saving them in my drafts from when I DO come back #so I can PRETEND Che'nya is back #😭😭😭#twst rp #ar speaks #ar speaks ooc #part 3.5

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bonesandthebees · 9 months ago

Note

Hey, sorry to keep making you answer stuff about this situation, but in hindsight, I feel like the vlog gun stream was really concerning. Like, I haven't watched it in a while so I could be wrong. And I'd understand anger on Wilbur's part, Tommy stole his keys, locked him out of his office, and dragged thousands of his viewers out for a joke, but I feel like Wilbur reacted quite harshly for an innocent prank done by a minor? Again, don't remember it well.

I've seen this take a few times and while I understand the desire to look back at old vods and videos with this new context surrounding wilbur to try and go "gasp! look guys he was terrible all along!" is 1) taking focus away from the matter at hand which is supporting the people who have spoken out directly as being victims of wilbur (shelby of course, but also sophietexas, rhianna, niki, rue, etc.)

and, more importantly 2) the whole breaking into wilbur's office thing was staged. like, I get it's sometimes hard to tell what's a bit and what's not but we've known this. I'm pretty sure wilbur even talked about it on stream once. and since people are talking about this stream again, wilbur's former mods have also come forward on twitter to tell people they were told in advance about the whole tommy breaking into the office and going live from wilbur's computer thing in advance. wilbur's 'angry' reaction wasn't genuine. it was all part of a bit he and tommy had planned.

also, 3) hyperanalyzing wilbur's behavior on old videos and streams is leading people to forget the most important takeaway they should have from this entire situation. we don't know these streamers. we don't know what goes on when the camera goes off. you can't look at someone's behavior on a stream or video and know what they're actually like in real life. there's no 'secret tells' you can pinpoint. that's what we need to remember here.

#ask #anon #wilbur situation

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fantasticarcadefan · 2 months ago

Text

The Stream

Part 1: Awakening

Warning: OOC, inaccurate character representation, possibly inaccurate workplace, Imposter SAGAU, lmk if there's more.

It's been over 30 hours since Genshin went down, and there was still no news from Mihoyo about it getting back online. The players were looking for ways to entertain themselves. The out of game community was growing in terms of activity due to how long this crash was.

With it being over a day, players are still hopeful on it being resolved soon, but our starting to get concerned about the lack of an official response from the devs about it getting back online soon, with the only response being that the game experienced a major error with a new patch, and they were working to get it fixed.

That is what Jason knew. He, his other friends, Olivia and Jack, and his sister, Jasmine, have been browsing Reddit, Twitch, Tumblr, and Twitter for any info on the game going back. And it's not like they could go through the files to try and figure out what's causing this, cause their friend, Y/N, haven't responded to their messages ever since this whole thing begun.

You've made some mods for your friends, ranging from new enemies, to better chances at rolls, and even a new nation you were working on, unlike those of Earth's past, which was oddly similar to the Telaki culture that was seen combined with Inazuma before the crash. When you were asked about it, you weren't sure if they were serious or joking, with you only realizing the truth upon being shown an image of the new Inazuma, which had you baffled.

Right now, the group is currently on a discord call, browsing various social media platforms, ranging from Twitch to Twitter, looking for answers that could possibly explain the shutdown. "Anything yet?" asked Jasmine, "Nothing." He replied, not finding anything of use on Twitch.

Most of the streams there were of the lore that was dropped, as well as some interviews with the voice actors, with a few of the streams being scam streams. As he kept browsing Twitch, he noticed a new stream, called "The Hunt", about to start soon.

"Huh." Jason says, a little intrigued at the title. "What is it?" Asked Jack, curious on Jason's thoughts. "Just an odd title of a stream starting soon." He said, going to the profile, only to see nothing there.

"What the?" He says, confused on the lack of account. "What is it?" Olivia asked. "There's no account!" Jason yelled, reloading the page to still find no account there. "Really?", "No way", "Are you sure?", they say, unconvinced. "Yes I'm sure. I'll send you guys the link." He says, copying the link and posting it to their chat.

A few seconds later, disbelief rang throughout the call. "What the??" "How is this possible?" "This is live soon, wtf?" Were some of the things said by the group.

"Alright then." Jason said once everyone calmed down. "It's evident that this stream is odd, with it having no account broadcasting it. It says that it's going to start soon, so do we watch this, or keep browsing?" Jason asks, taking note of their choices.

"Sure" "Why not." "Okay." The group says, all clicking on the stream, waiting for it to start.

------------------------------------------------------------

The developer offices were in a more chaotic state. Ever since the sudden shutdown, they haven't been able to save any of the changes they made to their game, with any change made causing the game to crash the game engine, and in some cases where heavier changes were applied, the computer itself.

One notable effect being reported across the board was the inhabitants of Teyvat all being alive, regardless of the game being run or not, with something akin to a temple being built near Liyue, as well as the NPC's all worshiping a new one called "The Creator", who didn't look like any Mihoyo employees when cross referenced with their employee data base, crossing out any conspiracy by them for the mean time despite suspioins remaining.

These problems were what Robert Lin was dealing with. Ever since the game went down, he and other development team leaders have been doing double time in order to find the root of this crash, or as he and some of the others were thinking, cyber attack.

Right now, he was in a call with several other game developer team leaders and a supervisor about any progress as of now, with it happening on a laptop at his supervisor's request, for the ability to see developments should they occur during a meeting.

"It's been 30 hours and we still have nothing?!" A disgruntled voice yells over the speakers of his office. The voice comes from Chang's Lao, his supervisor from China. "Sir, all attempts to change it have been unable to be saved, with even attempts to revert to old versions failing." Came the voice of his colleague, Elise Toutain, who oversaw the developers in France and led the development of Fontaine.

"What do you mean, unable to revert!?" Came Chang's enraged calls. "You developers are the only ones that have access to our projects, or are you gonna tell me an intern at Unity screwed us over??!!" He yells, before taking a deep breath, looking at them.

"What of this, "creator", that the NPC's are worshiping? What do we know about them?" He asks, seemingly trying to change the topic.

"From what we've seen," came the response of Higa Azami, head of the Japanese branch and lead developer of Inazuma, "it seems to be manipulating the game to its will in light ways, in the form of giving visions to NPC's who were previously visionless in the game files and strengthening characters that show loyalty to it. However, the land, animals, and monsters around it seem to freeze up around it, with it attacking the monsters and animals around it with each in game element, purplish abyssal energy beams, and golden pillars." She says, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"The spared go berserk, attacking all in sight before dying. She finishes, looking back at Chang, seeking a further response. Chang goes ahead and takes a sip of tea before looking at the dev leads.

"Has there been any other developments besides the undeveloped lands being added?"He asks, double checking for any new events.

That was another major change. The Snezhnaya, Khaenri'ah, the Abyss, and Celestia were added when the game went down.

Snezhnaya was mostly in development, with developers only recently starting to add buildings into it, with some debates about building placement in the nation wrapping up.

Khaenri'ah was still in the drafts, with many major buildings still being drawn, with the general area of the nation now being just being a wasteland, mainly inhabited by Hilichurls and Abyss mages. Danisleaf had been seen waging war against the Abyss Order, led by the abyss twin, Lumine.

The Abyss follows its namesake, just an empty void, filled with floating islands where enemies that were both already seen and monstrous entities that haven't been planned or scrapped on some of these islands.

Unlike the rest of Teyvat, the developers were unable to get a view of Celestia, with all attempts ending in their computers crashing and needing to be reset.

The best they have been able to do is map out it's approximate area, with it being around the size of Mondstadt, Liyue, Inazuma and the wilderness in between, on the ocean east of the game's mainland.

"There is one sir." Came the voice of Safar Naser, the lead Sumeru developer and head of the Egyptian branch. "We've been browsing the files and found the files carrying the "Creators" attacks, with each attack being heavily layered upon their in-game energy." He says, doing air quotations upon saying creator.

"However, the computers used to identify them were overheating, needing to be reset. When reopened, the files for the attacks were moved elsewhere, currently unknown." He says, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"It's highly likely that these attacks, and this Creator as a result, are playing a critical part in this virus or is the embodiment of this virus. We're double checking our firewalls and attempting to identify the virus's origin." He finishes, looking at Chang.

Cheng takes a deep breath, seemingly in deep. The devs wait for a response. "Have me notified of any future developments." He says, formulating a plan.

"For now, continue observing the game. Work with each other to identify any possible inconsistencies in between versions. I will be contacting Liu Wei about this. It's possible that this virus will spread to other games, so expect contact from the other dev teams. I would recommend hiring observers in the meantime so you can keep a wa-" the door to Roberts office is slammed open with an intern, Wyatt Icnez, his tags read, being the one responsible. "Sir!" He screamed, catching his breath.

Robert responded to the employee, having been startled by him. "Wyatt, this better be a development, if not-"

"That's the thing sir." He says, taking deep breaths. "There's another creator, and the system says that they're a player."

------------------------------------------------------------

You thought you slept on a weird side of the couch when you were unable to find the usual comfort of the surface when you awoke.

Moving around, you still were unable to find it. 'Why is this so unco-' your thoughts froze as you felt the coolness of water.

Expecting to be dumped somewhere with it, you quickly awoke, and got away from the coolness, determined to stay dry.

It was only then that you realized that you didn't know where you were, yet this place bore a striking resemblance to a few beaches in Teyvat.

'Okay, this is some weird shit.' You think to yourself, going to run your eyes when you notice your hands.

They bore resemblance to the styles that ran in Mihoyo's games.

Being a little freaked out by this, you decide to go ahead and pinch yourself in the slightest bit of hope that this was some new evolution or a dream.

To your horror, you felt it. 'Okay, okay, just take deep breaths' you thought to yourself, realizing you somehow got Isekaied to Genshin.

Deciding to try and focus on something else and delay the breakdown of being in Teyvat, you walk up the path, heading away from the beach, where you came across a cliff, where you had to climb.

That's when you realized that you were in Mondstadt. As you began climbing, you felt the rocks get easier to climb. While thinking about what to do there, your thoughts turned to a small concern, to the SAGAU fanfic, specifically the imposter ones.

You shook those off, thinking they were mere superstitions, wandering into Starfell lake. Unaware of those there.

As you wander through the lake, you take in the landscape of the forest. 'This is beautiful.' You think to yourself, going to pick up a flower. As you pick and smell it, something is heard from behind you. Before you could react, a sharp pain pierces you on the back shoulder.

Looking at your back, you're horrified to find that you've been shot in the back with an arrow, looking at the origin of the shot, you expected a Hillichurl to be attacking you, only to find your attacker to be Amber.

Only then did you realize,

You were being hunted.

#genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #sagau #self aware genshin #cult au #ocs #fanfic #genshin fanfic #imposter sagau

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cipheramnesia · 28 days ago

Text

Graft

In my rest time between one novel and the next I'm enjoying myself making a little spun sugar story about a cyberpunk pussy heist. It's meandering and heavy on imaginary slang but it's fun for me so here is the first half or third or so of it

First thing DeeDee noticed, her usual morning orgasm, or "morgasm," hadn't gone off.

She was late, and splashers crowded her A/V specs, screaming flashing neon yellow red blue promises, 10 water rat guaranteed each spin, stop here twenty percent off premium-vu, act now to get free oxy-sub, plus about fifteen past due blasters for her leg mods, dayclix, manudex upgrade, face plate, other parts. She could see a narrow sliver of her room through the MAds, and she had a scrips balance lockout from the cockout. Groaning with irritation, clawed her way off the cot to the 12-key hardline, unfolded her tongue socket and jammed the bcomp line in, clattering the set in frustration.

Half the blasters, most of the splashers dipped. She got back audio and waist downs and rolled. "Whoooo turned my hot shots off? Who left the wallEMP off!" Micro drones winged around the room popping ad spray and sonics, a few were clamped on her with other past due notes. "Water ration overdue, water ration exceeded" circled her biomech cat ears. Swatted a two or three, fell on the wall switch to jam on the Flyswatter. DeeDee figured a couple hundred overall went pop, trailed smoke down. Ad dust everywhere from the spray. One was on her face?

"I'm not best pleased!" she said to no one, expressing her displeasure. Swept dust and drone crumbs with her feet to space clear in her studio apartment slash office slash workspace slash bedroom slash kitchen, and crashed on the deskchair, slapping dpatches along her limbs and a compstik into her faceboard. "No hotshot no swatter, noncon facejacked?" She untangled her hair from the ecb-plugs on her face tech and grabbed her digiplate because she was slumming it, pouted while the scrips and drips that got dug into her software and hardware ate the big edit to the sky.

While she was waiting around for the MAds and spamware scan [MAdaSS], she finally got to look over the C-Clamp chastity boot locked to her pelvic slot with optional NoPro (tm) insert for prostate denial. "What's this horseshit, who did I fuck last night?" DeeDee did not know what horses were, she imagined they were a kind of bird. Pinged out for her custom built EX neurosynth neovag and got fuckall, which pissed her because the whole point was fuck all.

One by one her debuggers chirped, hopped onto her palm, drawered em, and slapped her basic as fuck face of the day on. Blessed she was with pristine sight of the world, not a nagnote or payscram in sight, just vext message notes, siggies, and a small alarm bell. "Shit, better get to work!"

Shoved cargo shorts over her cock locked personal pleasure slot, work boots, tanktop ("Asparagus for President" it said, from the infamous three way sudden death vote-off of '76), and jammed her comxcon into a free arm port before she flipped the sign to open at her door. "Gosh that was close, any customers?" She looked, a khakicollar dude held up a laptop plaintive, "My browser won't-" DeeDee slammed the door, "No customers! Another perfect day, hang up." Vext notes blinked aside for serious business now. She threw her shorts off. "Time to get outta this contraptamajig."

One angle grinder, one band saw blow torch, three axes, twelve hammers, and eighteen screwdrivers later DeeDee fucked her way through one after the other, even tried to plink the code. All this pouding and plethora of penetrarive pelvic parts frustrated her to rolling her bedsheets into her crotch and grinding on the best metal chastity could buy. She drooled all over her aching synthezized nerve spots, "fuck me I can't even cum, what's wrong with the world these days?"

Vexts, vexts, she clicked the note up it said: ANSWER YOUR CALLS and >:( >:( >:( >:(

The incoming piddy was the UNKNOWN ID scrap, she dropped a spam cage on it and replied 8===D~~~ GFYS and binned it mid-[... is typing]

Fuck fuckity fuck work, DeeDee needed some downtown deep sea diving. She climbed out the window, being more reliable than stairs or elevator. Nothing worked in the damn building except gravity.

Short and sweet broke beat sidewalk street, she hit so many concrete cracks, DeeDee figured the local maternity wards had to be a massacre. A couple dozen micros blasted ad spray and sonics, she flipped a bug zapper and swept em. Ads were going old school, nanoswarms warred over wallspace in constant barage of microsensors, hurling rainbow swirls that paced over the odd window and traffic signal promising six months free tubespace per dayclix.

ANSWER YOUR CALLS RIGHT NOW 😡😡😡😡

"Oh fancy fucks spending on the megs per pixel now?" DeeDee spamcanned again (GFYS) and freeloaded on a driverless with a buncha other local goons. "Hey ratbot, you headin to the VFW too?"

"It's a coffee barrr, Draftie," he replied. DeeDee called him ratbot because he was a planned obsolescence warbot with artificial intelligence generated by a rat brain daisy chain, real preschooler level tech these days but cheap and easy at the time and twice as disposable as a human soldier. "And for the last time my name is Wendell. Wendell Crawford."

She still didn't know why he had a Boston accent, the whole city had been totalled in the second Great Mega Pileup Traffic Jam six years before the manufacturer date on his tread guards. He called her Draftie because her legal name was Draft Dodger due to a mistake in one of her prison ID cards. "C'mon, it's Morca's."

"Ignore her, babe," Bobby, ratbot's partner, tugged him a fraction of an inch away on the driverless rooftop. Legally speaking Bobby was Wendell's owner because the corporate manufacture-state that made him refused to recognize his personhood. Morca's owner, SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE, had been helping with their legal battle, but they hadn't made much progress. Total bullshit, DeeDee thought but last big corplex suit against SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE made em keep her in life support parts forever, cleared out all mines from international waters, and her entire species were considered a recognized nation encompassing all oceans on Earth. Did great things for the environment, terrible for the war business.

They hopped at the block, batted some more ad spray and DeeDee knocked some local splashers with the hotshot, enjoyed watching ratbot snap micros in half with his plastic fingers, inhuman accuracy, "Still got it babe," said Bobby, hugging his blocky arms.

They pushed through the big, rocketproofed front doors under a blinking neon "Morcha Latte" sign, inside was all plastic and vulcanized rubber with DV light and fake windows to make the warehouse sized bunker building feel cozy. SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE claimed it was stress tested up to three directs from sunburst corebuster and who was going to argue with a two storey cyborg?

The overheads churned out the latest scrape40, whatever they were listening to at the bottom of the ocean, today DeeDee thought it sounded like angry plinko machines fighting while she caught lyrics she understood in bits and pieces, "Strangle me, strangle all my life, drag us through the silt and kill in the light," or something like that. She was a regular at Morca's because she got SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE all her jailbroken subscription free parts - sourcing and scouring unclocked mods and squids was her gig anyway. She dumped her ass into a rickety old carbon fiber woven chair between the door and the juke wall. A bunch of hipsters had early adopted save to disc memory uploads but went with vinyl to capture the true soul, now they spent all day slotted into the giant juke machine with impulse fed nerve endings bathed in chemically sterilized vats of coffee.

DeeDee unzipped her shorts and capped the chastity blocker. ARE U SEEING THIS? vexted to Portland. They knew all the high mods, probably could crack her case, she thought, right before let's just say a jolt, a singing high note, transported her from crotch to sternum then dropped her cold. Half a sec from climax, she looked around the room her digiplate all 0_0 not finding a shred of note, til the second song struck her off her seat and got her writhing on the rubber. Customers at the other tables lifted cups and rekeyed their MAdaSSes to tune her out.

"Hot pants!" she yelled, "Liar pants, falsehoods and flame!" Real old gen VR heads turned in annoyance as she pirouetted through tables and rattled silverware clung to the espresso countertop. Her legs kicked about in frustration as she got edged up and dropped. "H-hey Velllma, mind if I borrow the steamer a hot sec?"

"Sure DeeDee, you know you only gotta ask hun. Want-want s-some sug- Sorry, still got that old tick." Velma was a self-operated point of sale holodrone who DeeDee had jacked, glassed, and juiced to someone more independent for handling orders at Morca's, and she'd done a recent SRS download to her visual interface.

"You're the best Vel." Few seconds later DeeDee steamed her crotch full blast trying to bust herself free or bust herself off.

ANSWER YOUR CALLS NOW OR YOU'LL NEVER CUM AGAIN, BITCH

She slipped off the espresso machine and answered from the floor with her feet still resting against the countertop. "Who are you, and what was the safe word? Last night's a blur."

"No safeword. We have your cunt. Meet at the bench, corner of Morgan Stanley Park Avenue and Kern Holding Street. Alone, one hour."

It was one thing to jailbreak, but DeeDee knew her limits and line trace was one so she snagged and bagged the pins and held a little inside sacrifice to Portland, the premier polymath polycule who surgically interconnected their brains inside a single body to share one another for life. One bit of Portland code gold and she'd be swimming in pussy. "You're on the floor, DeeDee," reminded Velma.

"This is my thinking space, hush up while I ponder the infinite." She could a couple a SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE's legs pacing, shaking the floor, could catch a word back in the beyond warehouse room where a couple cracked up Kilowais were chattering out notation and legal docstacks for Flathead Ford. The Kilowais, KBW trademarked AI, were way old corpsec, patented and trademarked download of a heavy hitter bandsaw from his day, couldn't be pirated off the base personality unless they morally agreed to void their warranty, lots in the circ. Ford was SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE's lawyer, fighting the landslide for ratbot on the orca's tab.

PORTLAND WILL SEE YOU NOW, DeeDee flixed over from the viz to the vurt. "Are you still thinking dear?" Velma asked, pointedly moving her legs to start espresso dripping, DeeDee assumed the obvious silently as penance. "How's it hanging y'all, got any hot new brains to hook into the juice party?" Loaded upside down in the polygon pleather chair, Portland ran clix and adspace in a tasteful wall scroll, kind of an art to the exploit, less brute force than DeeDee's prefs, the smooth outer chassis for Portland said "I'm punching out in a minute."

They were an individualized amalgamation of three physical brains psychosurgically visected into one another, enabled to a custom body and lifetime committed to singulamory. "I'm cock locked out, Port, listen," DeeDee shoved two fingers to her mouth and slathered her togue along them for a sensiosync to the cursed crotch clamp. Portland's digits ghosted through the stats, pulled em and vexted. "What's the damage, how much and how soon?"

"Custom work, charming darling." Portland leaned their trilateral symmetric body back, waved away the middle and spread up DeeDee's alt, nerves and all. "Fused the long way up your spinal cord. Biolocked, meat stuff. Not our forte, darling, and you couldn't afford it if it was." Portland sighed, overcome with vaporous boredom. "Even if we knew the lockout, custom viropicks run more than your last ten years income, pussycat."

"Fuck my life, stay outta my taxes, gimme something at least." DeeDee yanked her slobbered fingers out.

"It's good work, better than you're ever worth, and I'd know - I sourced half your body."

"One third but whatever."

"The good news is, you'll probably not get spinal meningitis from the lockout, just don't leave it too long." DeeDee punched out and heaved a floor heavy sigh. "Guess I really better go make that meet, or I could desperately call everyone I know and owe." After desperately calling everyone she knew, DeeDee said, >:( to the ceiling, "I guess I'm going to the meet with these mysterious pussy theives. I spent good money on that cunt too!"

"How's that search going," Velma stood between DeeDee's legs and frothed artificially thickened protein strings for someone's café au lait.

"Velma... Velma, have I been karmically centered would you say? Have the scales of justice been tipped cruelly against me, the most innocent of girls? Would you walk on me for twenty bucks?"

So Velma kicked off her shoes but not even getting used as a doormat got her off the edge, then SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE looked through her office door.

"Velma, put your shoes on, DeeDee leave your shirt off and pay Velma another twenty." The average AlTrek 4X Infrantry Multiplier AC was rusting out in uninhabitable desert to the beat of radioactive decay, major outliers were in use for specialized valet parking and the life support framework for SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE, approximately 1/3 of an orca left over from an underwater mine in a corpwar trading route blow up.

No one argues with two tons of whale who already won a fight with the government and the major corptrade conglomerate general council strapped inside another 12 odd tons of mechanized power, DeeDee tucked her shirt behind her head and hoped someone around here appreciated her tits. >:0 "These are pristine, you jackoffs, classic CW models, OEM to spec!" She shoved them in the direction of the tables, no one looked.

"Dee." Flathead beckoned, DeeDee called to the beck and slashed backwards on a metal chair. "You're keyed up to vandal, girl. Listen, need a filter swap for my client. Upgrade the whole box if you can scratch it up, figure me?"

"Square it with me, Ford, my tits still hot?" (*´_`) She leaned way in, specced the side-eye from SCREE Chirt-Chirt ascending EEE through the tanktint windows, right figure whales are mammals too.

Flathead's oily eyes under that heavybrowed custom lawframe job in his skull slid along DeeDee, back to her digital pleading @_@ and shrugged. "You know I don't do organic."

"Fuck! I'm-" She pulled her shirt down. "I'm late, I'll hustle up a nextgen, usual rate."

"Sure sure. Clean it, client says this one makes everything taste like hot dogs."

"How's she know what a hot dog tastes like even where'd she get..." DeeDee vocalled on the downlow out the side office door, left ratbot and Bobby hankin paperwork in whatever new angle Ford was playing at. Color searing eyes blasted the world round her with sound again. Splasher and flasher swarmed the Mocra doors hungrily.

DeeDee swiped onto a delivery drone blowing down the sidewalk, vanished in a cloud of disintegrating adspray and splasher dust. Clix and spinners streaked her A/V edge while she fingerbanged the tamperfree(tm) deep into the loving waiting GPS and flushed it. Kern Holding halved the ad sprays, stuck her on a halfsec blind wait to cycle over the MAdaSS.

Didn't look half priced up over the viz, real park space and algea tanks, plastic green, trueviz rooftop boards and splashers all reigned in. Not many places scratched up enough to pay for gray but Kern and Morgan Stanely did. "Fuck where's this guy." Hustle and crowd pressed close round the bench powerbricks, all these droners worked virtual right on the walkway.

Coats slid up too personal in a curl, this guy has legs on legs and teeth like insect legs, curling open near DeeDee's whimsical cat-ear mods. "Let's private" it skittered those fine metal teeth to her mask glass, and made her go all >.<; with each word. "Whatever." She wrapped digits round multisegment hands and clasped private-public lines, perfect prophylactic for keeping conversing on the hush-hush without a fatal social disease.

"Why the cold brush, kittykat, doncha trust much," it thrummed in silk smooth inside sounds around the wire.

"Don't test my taps, snatcherino," she dropped an icicle hiss down the line. Hand in hand and out for a stroll through the walking workdead and high class bluemaroon adspray of the other side.

"Fair enough kitty, coulda had more playtime." It was wrapped up head to toe other than the segments in her hand and legs slipped in between bandages on its head. "Giving you a hot tip, fresh filter refurb, ex-corp sub and modded for ox, great deal for you. Free and install formatted."

"Real bargain bin I spec."

"No clones, no rebadge. I'll drop the pickup, all you do is courier like a good girl. No messing, no poking the drivers and wares, from your hands to the orca, and forget we talked. That's all." A ripple of excitement went through the walking workdead, furiously chattering through corp trades.

"Figure that filter's plenty safe. Figure that's why all the cloak n bullshit pussy snatching. Pure charity, no?"

"Trust, nothing's on your hands after this and you go back to nightly custom fingerbangs." Twenty insect legs curled around the cuff of its coat and withdrew.

"Might run this up a few contacts first."

"Might drop your filthy cunt in sulfuric acid if you do, clear enough."

"Distilled, fine, hit me with the deets."

Deet dusted, connect busted, DeeDee blew bowed kisses with fuck off finger flourishes while she walk backwards up an exec driverless, scuffing up the ten cent gloss on a two cent primer dip. Rolled with the high rollers through the Red Riser strip. She cut through the Whipping Whirlpool, high stakes operator she cut some autonomics for - head/body gamblers all got off on taking a chance on having their bodies wired in to fuck off enough debt to reattach their heads, double or nothing down to win a brand new model. Not a sale or soul DeeDee made, her personal opinion but no judgment. Slipped out the back door after a little slap and tickle pass through.

The back alley cut between WW and topline exec condoslugs, custom body stim tubes for a full home holistic virtual life, and the whole alley was packed with nimbyronment sentiels. Rained here so no one else got wet, wastecycle rats and sewer filters crowded up and down the black wet brick. DeeDee stepped live around the hyperaggro antipestation roachhives then out to the big blaze - adcolor burst wide round her as she hit the main road looking for drones and anthills.

No broker worth a salt shake missed out on bread crumbs and sugar crystals, and DeeDee doled em from her cargo pants pocket. Can't do acquisitions and void warranties without a big juiced net, a dropin with Guts was neg, hadda go pre-analog here full on prehistoric. Dime blaster swarmed each scrap, cheap motion sensitive, to small for spray. Rats bright and ready for fission snagged, but the bait made do and the march of Colony made its unerring path a bead of tiny black dots to DeeDee.

"Sweet sWeet sweEt bread Gluten carbo yeaSt verY Good sweet swEet yes." Couple hundred ants jeweled DeeDee's ears pretty as you please and twice as small. Colony sees all, knows all, lives everywhere, that singularly focused consciousness inside immeasurable ants. It all farmed belowground, and DeeDee got in the know when her mini-fridge busted.

No dropin, no line out, no unlink or download - just neko a horminga and her lips to Colony's ears.

#graft #intersect worlds #cyberpunk #cipheramnesia #original writing

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