#Minimal Real Me Wallpaper

[rowanwritestoomuch]

How to Describe a Room; Rowan's Way

I have a few cardinal tips for description, and I will share them with you here.

First, try--- just not. Literally, just don't do it. I have asked lots of readers and most skim descriptions unless the author is obviously putting alot of effort into what they need to show. Even in fantasy enviornments, minimal description in later chapters will allow your reader to fill in an image with their mind's eye. Not every reader wants to be bombarded with visuals, some want to create it themselves. Placement of objects and doorways, interactable items within a scene, simple settings, all can be used effectively to give your reader what you need without bashing them in the head with it.

If you have to--- keep it contained. A good rule of thumb is to maintain the bread and butter of descriptive text to the beginning of a piece, or new scene. However, readers will often just miss the descriptive bits at the beginning of a chapter in order to get to the juicy action. So try to put easy limits on yourself for these things; for me, its a maximum of 8 sentences. If these sentences are all together, I will make sure to focus on character actions and expressions in the scene, to not bore or double down with needless text. But my preferred method is to disperse those 8 sentences throughout the chapter, as the character sees or interacts with new information. Sometimes it can be a nice break in the midst of a tense or anxious interaction for your character to ground themselves by viewing the world around them, and this can be a niche moment to add description as well.

A step in the right direction--- be active. Use the things in your scene. Recently, instead of describing a room, I had a character pace around it in a fit of frustration wherein his thoughts overwhelmed his perception, but still he interacted with the furniture and layout of the room by avoiding bumping into those objects and it made the scene more dynamic without being pandering, as I had only briefly mentioned a few of the objects before. Paint the scene slowly, let your brushstrokes guide the reader as they are your partner in this dance.

Always remember--- use it wisely. If you must describe the wallpaper, make it as chaotic as the turmoil in your character's mind, or shaded with a color that lends to the deeper emotional moativations of a character within that space. Focus on things of need or importance, and consider what feelings are evocative, what thoughts might come along with such things. Often when you enter a room in real life, you simply register it without thinking, so focus on the things that stand out, or are mundane in a meaningful way, perhaps something with far deeper importance or symbolism later on. And assume your reader is as wise as you are, they will remember, so do not buckle down on unneeded motifs-- once we know the wallpaper is red, we don't need to be reminded, it makes the reader feel spoken down to and encourages speed-reading.

I usually do not keep the reader much in mind when I write, but description is for them alone, as I can see the scene clearly in my mind but I must project it into theirs. It doesn't have to be perfect, like a room of artists painting the same model, we can each have our interpretation. I always keep in mind then what is most important for the reader to see through my eyes, and the character as well, and it is often more fun to leave things unnoticed that do not have significance at the time for a greater reveal, or to mention things in off-handed ways that grow more and more present as they gain interest.

Description can be your friend. If the characters are your voice, the scene is your instrument. Do not create such a crescendo that it is a clangor, instead consider what sounds would compliment the melody in creation, and use only those.

You got this.

Always remember, write because it hurts if you don't.

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

Ninjago characters as things me and my friends have genuinely said pt. 2 (+Old lady from PT)

Misako *seeing a problem arising*: Seems like a personal problem

Lloyd When people say ace people aren't real: welp if I'm not real then I guess I'm a dragon

Zane/Pixal: sometimes I forget where I put my limbs

Kai: Wallpaper is outdated

Jay: I vitamin C death

Garmadon: I have to do a séance every time I want to get y'all attention!

Cole: If you like F so much name every F word, fuck, fox, uh... pharaoh

*continuation of previous conversation* Cole: Finland Jay: Fruit Kai: Fruit-y Cole: Oh like me!

Nya: Can you be 5'12... fuck that 6'0

Zane: Height is a competition and I am winning

Misako: I used to be homophobic and that's probably why god took my knee caps

Lloyd: See they can't mark me absent because in reality they just have hostage situation

Nya: Gold fish make it so that I want to die a little less

Kai: YOU'RE FUCKING COLOR BLIND Cole: SAYS THE ONE WHO SAID SUNSETS WERE MONCHROME

Jay: I'm gonna shimmy shimmy doo bop off a clif

Zane: It's about time for me to detach my knees

Pretty much all the ninja @ this point: My pain might be chronic but this ass is iconic

Zane @ literally everyone: DON'T EAT FOOD OFF THE FLOOR WE''VE BEEN OVER THIS

Lloyd: My biggest accomplishment is NOT being a leash child Cole: That's cause we didn't know where to buy one

Pixal: I'm very sexy I mean look at me fix the wifi box

Cole/Zane *after dying/getting very hurt AGAIN*: I may or may not have haha funnied a little too hard

Lords have mercy I love making these and getting an excuse to scroll through my quotes book. Anyway I was planning on having Zane's vouge cover out tonight then my chronic pain kicked in right alongside a headache and that threw out all plans for doing anything that takes anymore than minimal effort. So instead you get more haha funnies. Hope y'all enjoyed, peace!

[dramartist]

Art Commissions Open!

THIS JUST IN: Outfit design commissions available!!!

Kofi commission link here

I have made a few changes AND lowered the prices. Here's what I can offer y'all:

Uncolored: Bust $5 | Half-body $10 | Full body $15

Flat color: Bust $10 | Half-body $20 | Full body $25

Fully Shared: Busy $30 | Half-body $40 | Full body $45

❌ Won't draw: Complex backgrounds/scenery, NSFW (gore, suggestive posing, nudity)

✅ Will draw: OC Portraits (Human/oid, Anthro, Furry), Semi-realism portraits, Fandom characters, Prosthetics, Minimal armor

I prefer to confirm commission details through Discord (@/Dramana), but you can also message me here on dramartist, or through email. I will not do so over Instagram. You can also ask questions here if there's anything unclear.

Expected draw time/delivery will be the same day! I will inform if that changes depending on the commission. Additional characters are an additional 50%. If you have non-character requests, the going price is $15/hour. This includes poster art, wallpapers, twitch banners, stickers, etc.

And now for the info on realism portraits!

An image of the person I am referencing is highly encouraged! As well as any real life face claims for any fictional characters I'll be drawing as well.

Now enjoy some other art I've done~ <3

[coldtrait]

how i keep myself motivated in playing sims 4

i’m no sims expert but i’m writing this post to share how i usually play my game and maybe it may help people.

NOTE: some of this may NOT apply to you, and if you feel that you don’t resonate with it then that’s fine. i may mention some mods and cc ahead since i play on pc.

rotational gameplay & aging off

i have a lot of households on my save, and when i’m bored of one, i go to another. each household is a different story, different chaos and different atmosphere. i play with aging off, and age them up manually so i don’t feel rushed.

if i want to, i can turn aging on for active household.. why i enjoy rotational gameplay is that it feels like the worlds come to life. when i’m playing with a household and bring them to a community lot, i will see my other households i’ve played with and feel familiar with them coz i know how their life and how their story goes but they’re just there hanging out on their own while i’m playing with another household.

have a main save file and stick to it, don’t discard it.

i believe many people do this. i think this is quite crucial for me personally. starting a new one every time kind of always demotivate me because you have to restart again.

if you’re bored of that save file you can create another one for fun but don’t ignore your main one especially when you’ve worked hard on it.

renovate renovate

recently i have this household that i felt so bored of, and i realise it’s because of the house. not like there’s anything wrong with the house… but, it’s just been like that for a pretty long time. after i renovated it, it feels so brand new and more lived-in, and since it’s new to the eyes, i felt refreshed and more willing to play through that household again. i added some clutters and stuff, and just sat there, doing some subtle renovations, changed wallpapers and stuff.

don’t force yourself to know your sims fully

i know it sounds weird to say this because you’re the one who created them. sometimes when you create a sim , built a house, you may be like “ok so, what now?” well, that’s quite common. the sim that you’ve created, it’s okay if you don’t feel connected with them. in the early games, they can be like a stranger to you, so it’s good to be curious as you go along.

maybe put it like this— your sims are not a blank canvas, they’re a canvas with colours and identity but they’re not revealed yet. take your time with gameplay to find out more about them :)

stop having ‘same face’ sims

i know we all have a specific style when we create our sims. there’s no wrong in experimenting with your sims faces, making them different from one another. i personally find face references on the internet very helpful or play with randomisations. i recommend zerbu’s more presets mods or custom sliders but that’s all up to one’s preference!

keep only the cc / mods that you will use.

this is just personal preference but if i find myself having too much cc, i sometimes overlook the things that the game already have. always tidy up your folders and keep things that you need in your game so you don’t feel overwhelmed with too much content.

personally, in my early game i only play vanilla. then i slowly add on some cc and mods if i find them necessary.

youtube creators recommendations

petey plays: he shows you very interesting ways on how to enjoy the game mostly WITHOUT cc or mods. sometimes, you’ll find out things you didn’t know through his videos too, or find out ways on how to play the game in ways you never thought of.

oshinsims: i get very inspired whenever i watch her gameplays. the way she’s connected with her sims is just amazing because she talks about them as if they’re real and you’ll get so engrossed with her storyline. also she plays the sims with minimal cc so sometimes you’ll get to know about the game a lot more through her videos too.

i also love watching random simmer’s current households and it can spark inspiration for gameplay

stop the game from generating townies

my sims don’t generate townies anymore because i pour the game with npc service sims, townies from the gallery and use a mod called ‘no random townies’ by zero and ‘sim spawner tool’ by carls guide. sometimes i’d use ‘carl.killrandoms’ cheat to delete all randomly generated townies but with zero’s mod , it already prevents a lot of autogenerated sims. don’t forget to keep adding sims from the gallery.

i recommend simsontherope !

make major changes

if things get too stale and there’s just no inspiration, make major changes. probably give them a full makeover, move them out of a region, have them cut ties with someone, break up with somebody, run away from home, or anything you’re too afraid of doing. maybe that might spark your inspiration and make things progress more

[silveredsound]

Channel 4 announces Nick Grimshaw to host Project Home

Imagine designing your dream home in the virtual world then turning it into a reality.

In this game-changing new property format Nick Grimshaw, and award-winning property expert Kunle Barker, harness the latest virtual reality technology - usually reserved for big budget movies - to solve real-life design dilemmas.

What is most radical – a tv first – is that homeowners will be able to walk around virtual designs, exploring the changing spaces in real time, and with no headsets. In front of their eyes walls will come down, doorways and windows will move, extensions will spring up. They’ll be able to change wallpapers, floor finishes and kitchens surfaces in a flash.

When it comes to property formats. This takes it to a whole new level. The line between what is real and what is virtual will be well and truly blurred!

Nick Grimshaw says: “Redesigning your own home is one of the biggest and most expensive decisions you’ll ever make.  Being able to see how your home could look on the virtual reality stage is really exciting!”

Kunle Barker says: “My job is about helping people make the most of their Homes, and Project Home gives me an opportunity to help families stuck in design deadlock. The technology we use in the show is ground-breaking as it enables me to show homeowners exactly what my designs will look like in the real world. I genuinely think that once people see this tech in action everyone will want to use it as it’s the best way to make sure people get the homes they deserve.”

In this one hour episode Kent couple Scott and Caroline find themselves desperate to create their dream home, but unable to agree on almost anything. To break their design deadlock Nick and Kunle immerse them in designs of their own invention, inviting them to walk around each others plans on one of the UK's most advanced virtual reality stages. Scott favours a pared back, minimal aesthetic, whereas Caroline hopes for something altogether more cosy and homely.

Will they still love their ideas? What will they make of each others designs? And can they ever find a compromise?

Next it’s time for Nick and Kunle to reveal their perfect plan, combining Caroline and Scott’s best bits with some of their own ingenious ideas. Scott and Caroline will be able to make immediate changes to what they see, swapping and changing elements until they are 100% happy. Then back in the real world all that remains to be done is to build the home they are finally happy to call their own.  When Nick and Kunle return to the house in Hythe, Kent, how closely will the reality resemble the virtual reality?

Project Home is a playful and game-changing turn of the dial for the renovation show format and Scott and Caroline are the first to experience the magic.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-02-12

The sun is slowly coming back

Listening: Vienna Teng, because she posted a thing about the start of her Germany tour and I'm going to the tail end of that in March. I like how especially the Dreaming Through the Noise songs are often about relatively mundane modern things. Like "1br/1ba", which is about finding an okay but kinda crappy apartment for yourself, or "City Hall" which is about getting gay married in San Francisco in 2004.

Reading: While flipping through my Wishlist on Kobo, I saw they had Bloodchild available for free. Bloodchild is so good. It's a sci-fi love story. It's about commitment and responsibility and anxiety. It's about power dynamics. It's about mpreg. There are bugs.

Bloodchild especially lands because at no point does it other the Tlic. They're people, which makes them way, way more interesting.

Also, started rereading Gideon the Ninth because I should reread that series so I can see all the secrets and hoo boy are there secrets. God damn this is a whole different book. Dulcinea was like kind of vaguely ominous on a first read but she is so much more now. Almost done with that.

Watching: Good Bad Movie night was Yellow Submarine, the Beatles musical animated movie. It's absolutely bizarre but it's also very pretty, every frame is a worthwhile desktop wallpaper. Big bold colours and some very extravagant design.

Also more Gundam, and catching up to Gundam on Mobile Suit Breakdown, a Gundam watch-along-and-research podcast.

Playing: Oops All Dark Souls. Found my way back out of Blighttown, visited the Undead Asylum, went through Sen's Fortress and up into Anor Londo, but now I am trapped in the Painted World. I killed the dragon but there appears to be another dragon in my way so now I have to go around and deal with the fucking wheel skeletons.

It's great how Dark Souls makes you go from "ugh this is impossible" to "why was I having such a hard time" in like two hours, it took several tries for me to figure out the toxic hollows in Ariamis but by the time I took down the dragon I was literally sprinting through the level clobbering them with light running attacks.

Making: Parts for the NAS system are arriving so I am busy designing the case. Lots of sketching things, transferring them into CAD, and then throwing it out because it doesn't quite line up. I think I've got a good idea but it has yet to go into CAD.

I'm busy printing a dummy hard drive so that I can get a physical sense for the items because I don't want to heft my very expensive real drives around. Testing out Lightning Infill, a plastic-saving infill that is non-structural but can support solid upper layers with a minimal amount of plastic.

Tools and Equipment: ACPICA is a weird little software tool for Linux made by Intel that you can use to dump, rewrite, and patch ACPI entries on your system. Dealing with ACPI is a goddamn pain in the ass but this dramatically simplifies it to just a pain in the ass. Here's a little doc on how to do patching specifically that I am busy dealing with at work.

[whentherewerebicycles]

good morning! I felt pretty lousy all week but I feel so much better now—I think in retrospect I was bracing myself for something going wrong with the ultrasounds and delaying me another month. but I did the IUI yesterday and everything went well. I always feel most at peace right after the IUI because the timing is now out of my hands but I’m also still far enough from testing that I don’t feel too much anxiety about it. I’ve tentatively decided I won’t test at two weeks but will just wait for my period to come or not come. I am going to try not to calendar watch—luckily my days are a lot busier now that liz is here, school is starting, and I’m doing choir and voice lessons, so I hope the time won’t drag as much as it did last winter/spring. I’m also going to try to eat really well and will make it a fun meal planning game.

here are my goals for the next two weeks:

walk for 45-60 minutes every day (I’ve been slipping a little as things have gotten busier but I want to carve out time for it again esp while the weather is still so gorgeous)

no (or minimal) processed sugar

eat leafy dark greens every day—the easiest way to do this is to sauté big handfuls of frozen spinach with garlic and red pepper flakes and eat it as a little snack. so I will do that (but will also try to incorporate greens into my cooking).

try making beetroot juice lol apparently it’s very good for implantation in IVF cycles so might as well try it

really focus on whole food plant-based eating (although I am also eating eggs and full-fat dairy at the moment so not vegan)

don’t snack at work—people are always bringing in candy or pizza or treats which is nice but I can really mindlessly graze if it’s easily accessible. I’ll try chewing gum and/or making tea instead

hmm ok what else what else. choir was fine and then I had a great voice lesson yesterday. my teacher is a little eccentric but what person in a music career isn’t lol. she focuses a lot on helping you understand and manipulate the actual bodily mechanics of singing/sound production and I’m finding it really fascinating, so much so that it might be my next research rabbithole. I feel like she’s also good at identifying places where I’ve formed a very fixed rigid idea about what my voice “is” or is capable of doing, then creating exercises that get me to do the thing I thought I couldn’t without realizing I’m doing it. I think what I like most about the bodily-mechanics approach is that it does away with the idea that good singing is just a thing some people can naturally do and others can’t. it’s much closer to being an athlete! you have to strengthen and condition certain tiny muscles, and then through carefully scaffolded drills you develop a fine-grained ability to manipulate certain muscles and ligaments to produce different effects, and you have to be careful about using good technique when you train and perform (because like in sports, people develop bad habits to compensate for real or perceived weaknesses, which can put them at higher risk for injury). I sang for almost two decades and had 10+ years of formal vocal training as a kid/teen and I don’t know if anyone ever presented it to me in that way… or maybe they did but it didn’t click for me back then because I hadn’t yet done all of this reading and thinking about how people learn/improve/gain expertise in their chosen skills or fields. anyway I was originally thinking I’d just do a handful of voice lessons to help me feel more confident in choir but my interest is PIQUED you know my intellect is ENGAGED I think I might want to add weekly voice lessons to my budget. and I want to read everything out there on the subject lol. there is no greater joy for me than working in a focused way on improving at a skill.

okay and now let’s think about the day… here are some things I want to get done:

order peel and stick wallpaper (I am trying to figure out how to fix

plan meals

grocery shop

put laundry away

do old navy + everlane returns

swing by home depot to pick up soil, two paintbrushes, and paint (bring swatches to color match)

hourlong walk maybe on the paved trail

hammock reading in the park??

[plannersbyfeb]

FREE 2023 CALENDAR DESKTOP WALLPAPER

Hello everyone!

So, 2023 is coming up real soon and I wanted to share these desktop calendar wallpaper I made for the whole year! It's only currently available in black and white and features a sunday start calendar and minimal graphics, but I will be releasing a special set of monthly calendars that features designs and artwork created by myself!

download them here:

WHITE WALLPAPERS

BLACK WALLPAPER

I hope you'll all look forward to it AND to a new year, hopefully full of fruitful blogging!

I create my designs for free but if you'd like to support me, consider checking out my ko-fi!

▬▬▬▬▬ feb.

[basbearship]

Tengaku (angry Freddy is a crazy thought, so I had to ask), Love Love Sugar, world execute (me), please!! This ask game has some absolute bangers 🤌

@emile-hides

-Tengaku: What does your F/O act like when they are angry, no, enraged, no, absolutely fucking feral and fuming?

So I hc that it's real hard to get Freddy angry, irritated is possible if you're persistent but outright feral rage? Something extreme to the nines has to be happening, because in a potentially scary show of sentience he will completely override his coding.

If he's that mad it's probably because there's a major threat to the children at the Plex, or some kind of permanent fatal threat to his loved ones.

At that stage, he would prioritize their safety over any other procedure. You don't get asked politely to leave, he's running at you full force ready to do whatever it takes to remove you as a threat. He doesn't want to harm or kill anyone but uh...he will if he has to.

He'll give one warning, an enraged, wordless scream as he gears up to run the threat down, and if that doesn't work then whoever or whatever he's pissed at is getting charged at.

He loses track of his processes and systems, focusing solely on the problem, the closest he can get to "seeing red", and he loses track of his own strength if the situation escalates or drags out for any significant length of time.

He's horrified he's capable of all that after the fact, even if any damage he does is minimal.

the other two are under the cut just so this post doesn't get annoyingly long to scroll by!

-Love Love Sugar: Just gush, but in the most over-the-top yearning way you possibly can. Please overuse the heart emojis if possible.

I'm trying to shake off being embarrassed about this still but I'll do my best-

I just think he's neat, I really love how friend shaped and visually calming he is, he makes me very happy just to even see, I keep a few pictures of him on my phone and my laptop just in case I need em, and my desktop background has been a pic of us for about 6 months already 👉👈 my lockscreen isn't but my phone wallpaper is a different pic of us.

I love his lil ears and his nose, I love wearing his hat and playfully threatening to steal his bowtie. His eyes are so vivid and pretty, despite everything he has such gentle hands and words, I wanna hold his hand all the time forever.

He's not soft and squishy like a lot of other people's partners but he doesn't have to be, we build up nests of pillows and blankets so we have flecible means to cuddle and be close and it makes my heart weepy every time i see him in rest mode or just.. relaxed, away from the busyday at the Plex. Just getting to wind down and not have to perform.

I'll stop there tho or I will get i n c o h e r e n t

-world execute (me): What is the saddest song that still suits your F/O?

So avoiding FNAF fansongs lol, "Leave me alone" by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Can't be good being the star of the show all the time...

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

burnout or depression?

since I began understanding my autism I noticed

that the depression I thought I'd always suffered

was likely misdiagnosed burnout and a lack of ability

or agency to understand or even feel my feelings

because of the environments and characters within them

so I like to play my new favorite game

am I depressed or is this burnout?

I began unmaking at 33 and I'm sure of this because

I received an ipad at Christmas and the wallpaper I saved to it

and is still on it happens to be a woman in a pool of water lilies

she is removing a crystal mask of the sun from her face

everything is rainbow and bright and she's smiling

kind of wish the process would have been like that

but my psyche happens to be tricky and optimistic

and maybe a little bit more romantic than life tends to allow

now that I actually listen to my body and it's limits

I'm noticing that I don't have the energy and endurance

I thought I did... I just end up borrowing it for a cost later

I need to visually design some sort of mana bar or something

I'm writing this before I do my daily self care ritual

and before eating so my body is very cranky right now

which means I am at my most natural form before enhancement

like the amount of plant matter in a tea bag (minimal)

once you add it to hot water and diffuse it

you can fill a whole kettle with the volume of it's concoction

the cannabis must help me diffuse concentrated energy

it certainly helps diffuse my thoughts when my amygdala

is overactive or hypervigilant or perceiving threat

the unraveling is relaxed but I can rarely feel the "high"

but I mix it with herbs and water in my smoked storms

if I ingest it in larger quantities (which is a waste)

it may lend to burning me out more quickly too

I remember how anxious I was before the forest theatre

the entire day my energy was like a rocket

but when I went it was enjoyable and I fully let myself

be part of the experience and danced and engaged

a lot of it was for Theo's benefit so he'd feel free to also

be just as immersed but some of it was for me

I sang more songs on Thursday which led to exhaustion too

I may have to start recording energy levels and find the patterns

I've had no interest naturally in anything the last two days

I've had cycling negative thoughts that don't usually bother me

and often they don't quite align with the longstanding context

I don't want to eat or play and now I'm bored of sleeping

I haven't wanted to shower or interact or go anywhere

all my usual ways of getting myself balanced haven't worked

but since I have no interest the demand avoidance is strong

I think it will all change once I do my shower ritual and eat

ben was supposed to go to his parents and didn't

so there was an expectation of being able to fully unmask

I cannot fully unmask in his presence because it tends to

trigger something in him that gets provocative because

he takes everything so personally and then I want to make it personal

like dude if I want to fuck with you I'll just make you cry

but he's soft and stupid and the destruction is... unsatisfying

having to be masked likely takes up some of my energy reserves

even if it's just by isolating myself and grey rocking

like Theo and what I've noticed in his father's behavior

and his father's behavior now that I'm in analyzing mode

they have hyposensitive traits with the more inattentive ADHD

and because I am hypersensitive I tend to be a favorite

source of sensory seeking behavior and I'll let my son

harvest a little dopamine from it but fuck these adult men

that I have no real respect for anymore and need distance from

to gain that respect again but living with these helpless men children

does tend to feed a rage I inherited from lots of female ancestors

but then that reminds me that I'm technically homeless again

and my life is completely upside down and now I have this damn

autistic burnout thing to deal with to navigate in the future

doing everything on my own again...

which is fine because I've done it before

I actually have the right information and not crushing self-loathing

so it'll actually be easier this time since I'll set the

appropriate boundaries and recognize leeches

but... it's likely that autistic side that has all the fears that my

ADHD side found as fun challenges to overcome and flip off

after I eat and shower they'll both be balanced and I can work more

on the business and that will give me the income I need

to get an apartment and make sure I don't get burned out

because I'll be self-employed and using my talents instead of

doing work that is someone else's with their schedule in mind

the injustice of his narrative doesn't spark as much anger anymore

nor do I feel like stepping into the role he has placed me in

just to embody a nightmare he actually can't conjure

in a mind where people just loved and respected him for existing

sometimes it's fun to think about just what kind of creatures

he's going to encounter after he gets his freedom

unluckily one of them is going to end up being a stepmother

but I've been through shitty girlfriend mother experiences before

there's a part of me that is excited to see him sad

I don't really like that part of me the most but I get it

it's nice that instead of feeling furious disgust and contempt

now he just seems like an annoying neighbor boy that you dread

seeing approach because it's going to be annoying but whatever

that has to be helping my energy levels

alright I think I've explored this mind space enough

and had some good thinking and now I'm hungry and ready

to get back to my more balanced way of experiencing life

I think this is definitely more of a burn-out situation

which hopefully after the days of novels and rest

should melt away with my lava shower and a warm mocha

and some good music and I'll make sure to dance today

it's all going to be fine

[vamp-kiss]

so

kinda long rant about my feelings? please feel free to just scroll

i might need some kind of advice tho-

so. there's this guy. rin, kou, sourin, souchi, koucito, kouchi, rinin, rincito... i've been calling him with lots of names while the years passed.

this feb 14 were two exact years we became friends- obviously long distance friendship, he's from panamá and i'm from argentina.

rin actually means a lot to me. i consider him my best friend, but i actually doubt he considers me the same. i am quite certain i'm just a friend to him.

and i don't care, really. well, i do, but i just put it under the rug and ignore how i feel.

maybe i'm idealizating him, because, to me, he's means a lot. one of the friendships i treasure the most. we write together, draw together, listen to music and play together. we have matching mitsukou icons on pinterest even.

to me he's wonderful. friendly, funny, caring, he's always there for me. i am afraid i can't always be there for him, i tend to isolate myself and that's what i've been doing the most since my grandpa passed away last month.

and, still, i've noticing some things about myself the days we talk (everyday now, he always greets me with good morning messages), or when i'm doing doodles to gift him.

maybe i feel something else. little different.

he's practicing italian, chinese and english at the same time. sometimes he tells me cute stuff on chinese, like "te quiero" or stuff liie that- and when it happens, i lose it. i can't stop smiling and i just think about it for days.

maybe it's because i'm still broken. about everything, from childhood trauma, for when i discovered i was trans, for the insanely grotresque intrusive-suicidal thoughts i have to bear with everyday. maybe that's why i want his validation.

maybe that's why i react at the most minimal display of love. maybe i wanna feel loved. maybe i just wanna love him-

- because i know perfectly how hard it was for him to move away from heartbreaks. i know what it's for him to be use.

today i messaged him, about the moon. and how beautiful it was; how beautiful it was for the both of us to live and sleep under the same moon; despite how away we are from each other and our time difference.

i told him "rajeijú". it means lots of things in guaraní, from "this is the deepest declaration of love and/or affection", to just biys being friends..

i fantasize about him. i daydreamed about us being boyfriends. to have more matching icons or wallpapers, to him telling me he loves me. i can just imagine all that, as it would never be real.

there's really nothing i could do.

[tumblingxelian]

Wanted to say thanks to @violetren for contributing to the collective post with these tags and for giving me permission to share them:

#pretty much everything above #i am glad someone pointed out that Tai was probably trying to mimic Qrow with the off colour joke #because thats probably exactly what he was doing #he seems to think that the fact their uncle can do it means their Dad obviously can #and doesn't examine the fact that he just hasn't earned the trust or respect to safely engage in such exchanges #its very immature and reminds me of when my older nephew complains that his little brother is getting special treatment #when in actuality his little brother doesn't have to put his own washing away because can't even reach half the drawers #qrow gets to make the jokes about mental health because qrow is 1 self aware that he is just as big a mess #2 doesn't shy away from that fact or pretend that the girls don't know it#3 is mature enough to check in and follow up with reassurances

Glad you approve & yeah, it was a great insight regarding the joke and it does feel rather accurate for Tai given his at times rather... Well petulant manner when it comes to emotional topics he either doesn't like or feels he should be involved in. Immature is a good way to put it. Also yeah, the entire structure and dynamic is just so very different.

#on another topic i feel people have been going for the Actually Good Dad Tai angle again after the boba episode #because look he used to take them to boba clearly he got better #which is a very correlation not causation kinda situation in my eyes #my very first reaction to the whole remember how dad would take us to boba #was thats him trying to wallpaper not being there before and putting in minimal effort now #how bad could he be if he did something that made them smile every now and then?#obviously dropping a couple of lien on a fruity drink the girls enjoy is the same as being an emotionally present and engaged parent #its not like buying kids a bunch of nothing present to throw in their face whenever they say you never do anything for them #is a common tactic of real life deadbeats #because thats what he is. a deadbeat. #that fact that he's generally friendly doesn't negate it #it just means less people would have caught onto the fact that he's a crap parent #because even if they DID notice its not easy to call out the type of guy who overrides all arguments with the fact that he's trying now #even if its pretty clear the only thing he's actually trying to do is stay in his own comfort zone

Mhm, I very much sensed that takes coming when the episode aired and I agree with your insightful takes on the matter.

I often find both in media and real life, all a dad needs to do is the bare minimum or nothing outright malevolent to be cast as a good dad. Meanwhile a mother that's anything less than perfect is torn down faster than one can say double standards.

I also think people have a very specific image of being a bad, toxic or just not very good dad looks like. & so unless the father is hyper cold & aloof, cruel and mocking, or outright violent. The good dad-ness is presumed rather than earned.

I think it was in a discussion with @bestworstcase that the idea of Tai being the "Fun dad" to Ruby emerged. IE, Tai's not really keyed in enough to do the emotional heavy lifting, or a lo of the drudgery that comes with being a parent. So that stuff still got left to Yang (Like seeking out Ruby in V5). While he did the fun stuff, sent dogs in the mail, bought bobba, the things that required very little effort but yielded a big reward as far as seeming like a functional adult goes.

#i'm always skeptical of the tai is actually staying in patch to guard a relic theory for this reason #if there was something to protect on that island then summer was doing the job #and when she died Oz decided sending a new guardian into what had become the rose xiao long home would just raise suspicions

Honestly, I don't think the Relic is on Patch or if it is, I don't think he'd be guarding it in any official capacity. I think its more likely, if it is there, that he's just kind of sitting on it, metaphorically, a reflection of him being stuck in arrested development. The only other contexts in which him guard the Crown would make sense are:

If he's just a portal beacon for Raven to summon reinforcement as he's the only one with a connection to her there that also isn't more useful elsewhere. Or, he can store up Aura for years and explode like Voltorb or a Saibaman and so his job is to take Cinder out with him to deny Salem the Crown.

I don't find either that likely though.

A Necessary Post - Yang, Taiyang & Seeing Red

I debated this being a message or a note or a reblog, but ultimately this warranted an essay. Because a hatred of nuance is not even remotely the reason why Tai is critiqued as a teacher or father.

With that fact in mind, let's begin:

During RWBY Volume 4, Episode 9: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back Taiyang has a great deal of critical feedback for Yang regarding her fighting style, personality & Semblance.

The issue is that Tai's words and advice when compared to what we saw on screen before & afterwards demonstrate he does not understand how it works or how she used it.

So here for your reading pleasure if a more or less line by line breakdown of Tai's advice and why I don't feel it holds up & more to the point, why I don't believe Yang utilized it.

Taiyang: Do you realize that you used your Semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?

Yang rightfully points out that her using Burn is no different than anyone else using their Semblances. I would add that Yang's Semblance only serves to enhance her already present abilities with damage taken in a fight. So her not using it would be stupidly holding back extra energy for no reason.

Tai's critique also fails to register that when using her Semblance to take out FNKI, Yang specifically disrupted the ground so Neon could not skate effectively & used the boost in power to turn Flynt's own weapon against him.

I will be addressing Mercury further down but she used it effectively and intellectually here and to great effect.

What's more, every other fights fighting style, weapons or both were literally built around their Semblances. Yang's threat level remains fairly consistent without her Semblance, all three of these other characters take a huge dip.

Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum.

Ignoring that calling the manifestation of Yang's soul a temper tantrum is another in a long line if dickish things Tai says to Yang. Her Semblance literally does not work that way.

Her anger has jack and shit to do with it, this has been explained & demonstrated time and time again. Yang only gets a power boost when she's been injured, the fact she tends to be angry when using it is because being hurt sucks and she's usually in an intense fight. When the fight is going well and she still gets to use it she's not angry, as seen with a pleased smirk here:

So as before, Tai's critique is bereft of any merit, Yang's Semblance does not work that way.

Taiyang: I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible!

Cite a time Yang thought she was invincible, cite it provably that Yang thought, said or indicated that she felt she was invincible. You can't because Yang never indicated as such this is something Tai is assuming about her at best.

& no her jumping in the Nevermore's mouth is not an example because she was not using her Semblance, did not take damage, it was a very effective strategy & seemingly either part of the plan, or was so easily understood that it could be safely and reliably worked into the plan. She wasn't using her Semblance here but finding evidence of risky behavior was hard, especially with her Semblance, go figure.

In fact every time Yang used her Semblance she did so only because someone landed a blow, which just happens in fights sometimes.

Taiyang: It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!

We know what happens when Yang misses, she can swing again!

After the first blow on the Paladin she missed & needed help to catch it, her missing had zero impact on her Semblances.

As to what happens if they are stronger, um, she loses, that sometimes happens in fights. Its not something Yang can do anything about by holding back on extra strength. Not to quote Qrow but sometimes bad things happen. Other characters losing to stronger opponents don't get given this kind of diatribe's because its pointedly obvious that there was nothing to be done about it.

& on the final piece, she was very pointedly not weak and tired after using it. The only times she has been shown to be is when she was extremely low on Aura regardless in which cases not using her Semblance is a death sentence.

So again, we've established Tai's critique comes from nowhere & his understanding of her Semblance is nonexistent.

Taiyang: But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it.

This is so painfully unfair it hurts.

No other character gets this kind of shit for expressing emotions in combat. In fact we see characters expressing emotions in battle all the time. Nor has she stopped displaying emotions in combat:

I already outlined how in all two of the Yang fights Tai actually witnessed she used strategy and retained excellent combat form. So again, baseless claims from Tai.

What's more, Yang primarily does use her Semblance as a fallback rather than rely on it in these fights. She only whipped it out against Mercury when he'd unleashed his seeming kill move on her and was confident he'd won.

Not using it here would be dumb and make no sense.

Yang doesn't rely on it to save her, she deploys it when it makes sense to & she has the energy or the need. This is more than we see from many characters.

Taiyang: It won't always save you. Obviously.

So now he is critiquing her for a fight he didn't even witness & knows jack shit about. So let's break this down once again:

Yang has spent the last 24 hours questions her sanity.

Yang's new home (Her words) is burning down.

Yang's sister is missing in all this chaos.

Then Yang's partner gets fucking stabbed, and the guy who did it is standing between them with a sword & gun, with fire all over Grimm all around.

Anything Yang can do he can counter, she tries to go around he only has to pivot. If she tries to fire from long range she might hit Blake. She tries an earth shock wave, she launches Blake into the fire.

She quite literally had no others options & zero time to try anything else because he can just shoot or stab Blake whenever he wants.

Taiyang: You definitely have your mom's stubbornness.

This, this right here is where all this is actually coming from. Tai is once again projecting Raven onto Yang despite them frankly having almost nothing in common.

With most of Yang's visible personality tells being inherited from Summer, such as the mother daughter shoulder check of V9. Thanks to chittychittyyangyang for the GIFs

Or as outlined in some songs with Yang's side of the lyrics explicitly citing how she is trying to fill the Summer shaped void in their lives.

Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away.

Taiyang: Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family.

Tai blames Raven for tearing their team apart. Save that by all accounts, barring her absence things seemed to be going fine. Qrow seemed to be present in their lives, Tai looked happy, the girls were happy & Summer at least seemed happy though we know she was covering up a lot of dread.

Keep in mind Tai is projecting Raven, the woman he blames for destroying the team and damaging the family onto his daughter who literally kept the family together after Summer died. Yang's established this, Ruby has established this, its canon.

Yang: I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone. (pause) Weiss, if you have something to say, then say it. Ruby: If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me.

Tai was not the one holding that home or family together. Unless you think the writers are gonna randomly swerve & say both Yang & Ruby are big whiny liars for some utterly nonsensical reasons. So no, I don't take him seriously as a narrator or critique of Yang, I have no reason to.

But let's push on, because I'm not done.

Taiyang: You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. (pointing at Zwei) That strength is all that matters in a fight.

Ah yes, Raven, the woman famously known for thinking the easiest way to deal with an obstacles is to tackle it head on. That's why she spent years adorning herself in a Grimm helmet that hid her eyes & raised a False Maiden to serve as her body double.

A woman so inclined to rely on her own raw strength that when she was ambushed by Salem's forces she decided to trick them into an ambush.

Then when fighting Cinder and was at a disadvantage she freezes her in place while making Cinder think she is going on the offensive leaving her to be crushed by Stalactites & also utilized mind games to distract her & deal the finishing blow... Cos she only relies on strength.

As to his final piece of advice I already address it up above, there was no way around Adam, the situation was fucked from the start.

Saying it was Yang's fault she was dismembered is no more than victim blaming, I stood by that in Volume 3 to to this day & beyond.

Taiyang: But if you just take a second look, then maybe you see... (walking toward her, stepping around Zwei) there's a way around as well.

But let's actually look at Seeing Red & if Yang listened to Tai's advice or if she not only ignored it but did the opposite of what he ordered.

Let's see she goes in with open aggression & emotions, and also takes many blows rather than going 'around' them somehow.

Yang, as if she were 'indestructible' outright tanks a massively charged up Aura beam for the purpose of increasing her strength.

Then burns through all of her Aura & Semblance energies delivering one direct blow, relying on it to save her & leaving her weak & tired.

Or in other words, she:

Yang didn't miss, but we know that isn't a real issue anyway.

Yang used her Semblance to 'win' the fight & very much did rely on it to save her.

Yang expressed anger & many other emotions in the battle & still continues to does so.

Yang willingly took huge risks that involved her being able to take tons of damage rather than go "Around" the problem.

Yang knew Adam was likely stronger given it was 2 V1 but relied on her Semblance to get her out of that bind and she was in fact left weak and tired.

This is also the first time she has done several of these things, or otherwise demonstrated these traits, such as being left weak and tired or willingly tanking big attacks rather than just being hit by surprise or due to being overwhelmed.

I don't take Tai's advice seriously because none of it was accurate or aligned with the Semblance we saw in action or had described to us.

I don't trust Tai's opinion on Yang because his take on her is explicitly informed by Raven & not the Yang we spent four & then five more volumes getting to know.

I don't take Tai's words over Yang's, Ruby's or what we see on screen because Tai is at best a secondary or minor character & a recurring theme in RWBY is the failure of older generations.

These failures are not just in the past but how they have been consistently failing the next generation as the story is being told. There is zero reason to think Tai is some magic exception to this narrative trend when much more well explored characters like Maria, Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, Raven, and hell, Summer Rose are not.

& that is my stance on that, thanks for tuning in!

[traxzee]

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[lavender-lucifer]

midnight solace - Lord Diavolo

tags/warnings - hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, pinning , descriptions of loneliness, cuddling, hand holding, gn!reader 

wc -  ~1.8k 

a/n - this is my first full fic technically and I did not think it would be 1.8k LMAO

description - Diavolo struggles with loneliness but you make him feel alive. 

Staying in the castle is isolating to say the least. There's no yelling about who took what or walking into a hallway to find a certain demon hanging from the ceiling. In here, the sounds are soft taps along a marble floor that shimmer underneath the chandeliers. It mocks him at times, the silence weighing on Diavolo constantly behind the confined walls. He has important people in his life, he does. There’s Lucifer who's there to bounce ideas off of and give him advice. One of his oldest friends. Then there’s Barbatos who's been by his side for longer than a mortal could comprehend. Diavolo wouldn't give up his role for anything, it gives him purpose and satisfaction knowing he can unite the realms to co-exist. But when the night sky of the Devildom and the sparkling stars come into view, he can't help but feel a part of him missing when he sits on the edge of his bed staring at the tapestry covered walls. It sticks to his skin, the feeling of loneliness. And when he tucks himself into bed he feels it consume him whole. All of a sudden the air is too dry and the sheets feel itchy. It leads to haunting the halls at night, giving up sleep weeks ago. Tap, tap, tap as his feet pad along the floor and his shadow glides across the intricate wallpaper. Moments like these is what he hates most. Roaming corridors with nothing but his thoughts. No one is awake at such an ungodly hour and he wouldn't dare to stir anyone. Not for this. 

Tap, tap, tap.

This routine carries on for a few more days but it seems even demons need some type of rest. The bags under his eyes become more prominent, the laughing more minimal and everyone seems to notice. Council meetings are more draining as the group skates around the real issue at hand. Lucifer has assured you and his brothers that Diavolo is fine and to keep the questions to a minimum. You know it's out of good faith but it hurts you deep down to see the one you care about struggle. The relationship you have with the prince is unorthodox in short. It's beautiful really, catching the longing glances he would send you. And it's tragic because he's the prince of demons and you're the human exchange student. Yet that doesn't stop him from thinking of you. It doesn't stop his breathing to become steadier. Or the loneliness that penetrates his heart to subside.

"Hey.” 

He jumps. He's not sure when the other council members left or when you claimed the seat beside him, hand lightly resting on his shoulder. He can feel the warmth you send through his uniform. You notice the shade of crimson that dusts his cheeks as you continue. 

"I noticed you've been acting a bit...down lately. Just know I'm here for you, okay?" you say with sincerity and he feels it. The tenderness you radiate that makes him bloom. 

"I suppose I haven't been sleeping much lately.”

 He knows he's down playing it and so do you. The soft smile he gives is almost convincing. Almost. Maybe you shouldn't pry.

"Okay, just...just let me know if I can do anything to help-"

"Have dinner with me."

"Wh-"

"Only if you want to, of course!" He adds, a little too quickly. His nerves eat away at him as he curses at himself for asking you now. Truth being told, it has been while since you had been to the castle. You don't go often with how busy Diavolo is but once in a blue moon, he extends an invite to you. You can't say no, it's been too long since you've gotten to spend time together. Too long since you've felt your heart beat for someone else. 

“Yeah, I think that would be really nice", you reply breaking into a wide grin. He beams as well, his smile matching yours. Not able to remember the last time he had a reason to smile. Diavolo offers his hand to you as he gets up from his chair. It's heavy in your own when he helps you up. Soft palms rub against yours as Diavolo feels a sense of mellowness wash over him. It makes him feel alive, more than a hollow shell that moves through an endless cycle. 

Tap, tap, tap as you walk hand in hand out of the council room.

Later that evening you find yourself curled up on one of the many couches in the castle next to Diavolo. A deep burgundy blanket is draped across you both, your fingers grazing against him as the movie plays. Neither of you are paying attention though. Diavolo can’t tear his focus away from how your fingers intertwine with his. How they lock perfectly together, a feeling he can’t fathom ending. The only thing that hounds you is knowing this moment can’t last. They never do. And when you fail to stifle a yawn he feels the gnawing in his stomach begin. Is it too much for him to ask you to stay? Too selfish that he wants his streak of lonely nights to end? He hasn’t felt this peaceful in weeks and you can tell. Guilt plagues you knowing you’ll have to end the night and subject him to whatever misery seems to await. The grip on his hand tightens, almost like an apology as you consider the next words carefully. 

“Maybe,” you pause. There's hesitation laced in your voice. 

 “Maybe I can stay here the night? It’s late and I wouldn’t want to wake anyone up coming back home.”

Even though the room is dark he can the light the screen casts when he looks over at you. It illuminates the tops of your cheekbones and Diavolo has never wanted to bring his hand to your face more than ever. You get lost in his amber eyes when you feel a newfound love warmth throughout your body. His touch is comforting, leaning into his palm it lulls you in. He breaks the silence,“Yes. Yes I’ll have Barbatos prepare a guest room for you.” He feels his heart swell when you look at him with adoration. It dances in your eyes when you hear his response and it makes him break out in a smile.

Taps echo in the corridors again while Diavolo leads you to your room, fingers still roped in each others. Centuries old paintings line the walls, the golden frames sparkle in the light. You're stopped in front of a tall door, the wood is stained darkly to enhance the designs etched into it. 

"Here we are.”

Diavolo turns to face you, a soft smile to hide his grimace when you let go of his hand. "I'll see you in the morning, Dia," you respond and press a kiss to his cheek. He can feel the spot tingle, it sends shocks throughout his entire body. What he would give to feel your skin on his one more time.

The guest room is spacious and the carpet is soft under your feet. The duvet is embroidered with flowers and feels cool on your skin when you sink into the sheets. The quietness eases you into a soft slumber. But that isn't the case for Diavolo who's made it back to his bedroom. The ceiling is consumed by a darkness that seems to stare back at him. He isn't sure how long he's been tossing and turning. The wind is too harsh against the window and there's an abundance of papers that need to be signed. 

But then there's you, someone he holds close to his heart. Someone who helps him blur out the busyness of his royal status and makes his heart flutter. So when he finds himself standing in front of the double doors that lead to your room it doesn't surprise him. But the doors feel intimidating. Like they’re judging his every move, watching him intensely. The need to hear your steady heartbeat outweighs everything else when he knocks softly on the door.

It stirs you from your sleep, shuffling out of bed you open the door to be greeted by Diavolo. His hair is tousled and messy, as you look up to meet his eyes you see he looks drained. The time is late and that's all you need to know before you widen the door more and allow more light to stream in. Diavolo gives you a sigh of gratitude before he steps into the room. It's astounding how quickly he feels tranquil, your presence alone seems to calm his storm of thoughts. He waits for you to close the door before he finds your hand interlocking your fingers then he pulls you towards the bed. It's different than his room. This room is warm and full of love that washes over him when he gets enveloped within the sheets. You lay down adjacent to him, sinking into the pillows as you cast a glance at his figure. Diavolo maintains a distance between the two of you but that doesn’t stop you from feeling the neediness that emits from his body. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask shifting closer to his side. Diavolo turns  to face you. Despite the darkness, he can make out your face and the way your eyes glimmer, catching the lights from between the curtains. But the silence speaks volumes when you slowly reach out and trace his face. He no longer feels the loneliness that follows him like a shadow. Not when you graze his lips, not when you reach up to play with his hair. All he can feel is the steady beat of his heart in his chest. A beat that plays for only you to hear. 

“Can we just...stay like this? For a while.”

It’s barley audible. You would have missed it if not for listening to every rise and fall of his chest when he breathes. Pressed flush against him now with his arm slung over your waist, pulling you closer so he can rest his head in the juncture of your shoulder and neck. 

“’course”, you whisper and wrap an arm around him, tangling your limbs together. His fingers glide along the bare skin that peeks out from below you shirt. After all those nights of drifting through a deserted labyrinth where sleep manages to escape him, Diavolo feels comforted in your arms. It’s like having a taste of paradise, simple touches igniting his love for you. His need to constantly keep you around to keep him from flying too close to the sun. And it lulls him into a hazy state like a sailor to a sirens song. 

His touch sends shivers up your spine and sends butterflies to your stomach. You can feel Diavolo’s breath fanning on your neck and the scent of his shampoo that lingers in his hair. Pressing a kiss to his head, Diavolo’s fingers slow to a stop. You can only assume he has finally fallen asleep and feel a small smile making its way onto your face. 

The castle is no longer filled with soft taps along the marble floor. Rather, it is full of a rejuvenating silence. A feeling of two souls basking in the intimacy of one another. A feeling of solace. 

[traumxrei-archive]

【 chapter 5 - of promises (and memories to be made) 】

author's note: it's been over a MONTH since i've updated this series,,,,so i apologize for neglecting you guys of leonayuu content sjkfjdsk this chapter turned out a lot different from the initial plan, but i like it !! it's fun and there's a lot of cute moments in it <33 leona's having a great time in this chapter haha *thumbs up emoji* i hope you enjoy !

word count: 5.8k (yeah it's hella long, fight me)

tags: new year's feast !!, they're munching on expensive food, yuu visits afterglow savanna (REAL), leonayuu first meeting storytime sjfkdjfk, ghost camera actually comes in handy, crowley makes a Mistake, leona's left to deal with the consequences, #pray 4 leona everyone >:DDD

[ baby it's cold outside series | or read it on ao3 ]

warning: depictions of being drunk.

New Year's. Yuu didn't think that it would be a big deal in Twisted Wonderland as it was in their world but after Ace and Deuce started blowing up their phone about "coordinated magical laser shows" it seemed like a pretty big thing. It seemed that even in a foreign world, celebrating the start of a New Year wasn’t uncommon at all.

They had also gotten a message from Crowley saying that he was sending over a feast via Magi-livery— an abbreviation of Magic Delivery, apparently— to Ramshackle dorms. (This was the first message they had received from Crowley since break started and yet they were simply glad that he remembered about them.)

Now the hard part was convincing Leona to walk all the way over to Ramshackle to have the feast.

"Absolutely not," Leona has said, still buried face-deep in his pillow. It wasn't as adverse of a reaction as they were expecting. Maybe he was still hazy from his afternoon nap?

"Please, Leona-sama," His ears had twitched receptively at that. "Our dear headmage is sending over a high-quality feast for free. And there'll be a laser show to celebrate the New Year."

"A laser show!" Yuu grinned winningly when Cheka bounded over, hopping onto Leona's back to get to them.

So that was how Operation: Get Leona to Ramshackle For The Feast became a success.

Sure, they had to trudge through a bit of snow to get to Ramshackle, and sure, Leona was cursing under his breath the whole time. But the important part was they made it to Ramshackle with minimal losses. The only loss was the feeling in Yuu's arms after carrying Cheka. Cheka had started getting fidgety as the sun was setting and Leona sent them the most withering glare so far so...they had to sacrifice their arms just a little to make the plan a success.

Opening the creaking gate felt almost nostalgic after being away for so long. And if Yuu didn't want to be called crazy, it almost looked like the house missed them too. They rapped on the door, setting Cheka on the floor before the door opened.

Grim looked overjoyed to see them, "Henchman!!! Did you finally realize that the Great Grim is a better boss than that lazy lion?"

"Well, 'that lazy lion' wants to go inside, or else maybe I'll have you both for dinner," Leona grumbled, shoving past Grim and the ghosts who had curiously floated towards the front door.

"I'll explain more inside," Yuu said, shaking the snow off their jacket before hanging it up. They did the same with Cheka's before realizing that Leona had gone inside without removing his jacket, no doubt trailing snow, and- Yuu sighed, and walked into the living room, Cheka trailing behind them like a lost puppy.

"What is this place, Yuu-tan?" Cheka asked, staring at the gaunt paintings and the peeling wallpaper in what looked to be fascination. Maybe this wasn’t the most kid-friendly house to be in. It was a wonder Cheka didn’t start crying as soon as he saw the darkened hallway.

"This is my house. Or the place I'm usually staying in," Yuu explained.

"Your house?" Cheka's ears twitched. "Oh, so you don't usually sleep with Ojitan?"

"Hah? Why would I share my bed with them all the time?" Leona was all bundled up, sitting in front of the fireplace. And Yuu really couldn’t blame him. Although Ramshackle was as temperature regulated as the rest of campus, it didn't stop small drafts from making it through the cracks of the house itself. As they kept telling Crowley, this place was really due for a renovation.

"Mmm," Cheka bounced onto the couch with a giggle. "Cheka thought Ojitan and Yuu-tan were roommates since you guys are best friends!"

Grim let out a haughty laugh at that, "No way! The henchman is my roommate, and they're my best friend too!" As the two started to bicker over who Yuu's best friend was— without asking the person themself— Yuu walked over to Leona.

"C'mon, hand over the jacket," Yuu sighed, seeing the stubborn stare on Leona's face. "It'll be colder if you get wet, just hand it over."

"What're you, my babysitter?" Leona took the jacket off anyway. "You're gonna be living in...this all winter long?"

"I'm your servant, remember?" Yuu folded up the jacket. "And I guess. Unless you do all your school work."

"Ugh, there you go again mentioning work," Leona's ears folded as he sprawled out in front of the fireplace. "Where's all that food you promised?"

"It's practically nighttime, so it should be here—" A loud knock caused them all to jump. "—soon. I guess I'll go get that."

The ghosts were hovering near the front door, "Ooh, there's a package."

"It looks safe," Another ghost commented. "No malicious energy coming from it."

Yuu opened the door to see the inconspicuous-looking package with a note on top of it. The note was written in Crowley's rambling font, and their gaze swept over the hastily written words:

Dearest Prefect and Grim,

I have been informed that the Crown Prince of Afterglow Savannah is also staying with you over winter break! How commendable of my best student to take care of them! To reward you, I've prepared a grand feast within the box. Make sure to open this whilst you are in Ramshackle's foyer or else it would be a disaster.

And I trust that you are keeping up with your tasks for this winter?

From your favorite headmage,

Dire Crowley

"Favorite headmage my ass," Yuu muttered, ripping off the note and placing it on the mantle. "Okay, I'm not sure how this'll work so, stand back."

"No way I'm moving, 's warm here," Leona grumbled from his place on the ground.

"Suit yourself," Yuu shrugged. "Don't blame me if you end up getting some food propelled into your face." Now that got Leona moving, much to their delight. But Leona just ended up draping himself over them like a particularly tall and particularly heavy blanket.

"Can you...not...?" They gritted their teeth, trying not to buckle under Leona's weight.

"Mmm, you told me to move, you didn't say where," Leona's arms wound around their waist, and strands of brown tickled their cheeks. Great Seven, he was being more insufferable than usual today. They felt small hands by their pants and they spotted Cheka ducking behind both their legs in a flurry of giggles.

"H-hey, stop hiding behind my henchman!" Grim huffed, rushing to get behind them. "That's not fair, y'know! Leave a spot for me!"

"Okay, I'm gonna open it," Yuu announced, having finished peeling the tape from the edges of the box top. "Three, two, one."

As soon as Yuu managed to pry off the top, a bout of magical energy burst into the room. The house creaked and groaned as the magic wrapped around them all. The furniture moved, bent to the will of the strong magic flowing from the box into the foyer, and in its place appeared a large mahogany table. Chairs lined the table, followed by a table cloth in a sequence that looked straight out of a movie.

"Ah! There's food!" Grim's excited voice was distant as they watched the food appear, stacked high on top of multiple golden plates. Yuu's jaw nearly dropped from seeing how much...of everything there was. From sushi to steak to even...was that a chocolate fountain? The table had it all.

Yuu finally drew a breath as the room stilled, "Holy shit. That was...awesome."

Leona gave a hum, slipping away to sit in front of all the steaks, "Not bad for a feast made by that crazy crow."

"Woah! There's so much cake!" Cheka exclaimed as Yuu finally did a circle around the table. The food looked world-class, akin to the type of food that they usually saw at Scarabia's lavish feasts. And not to mention all the plates and table wear. How many hundreds of millions of thaumarks did this all cost?

"Make sure not to break anything, Grim," Yuu reminded the monster, who was already face-deep in what looked like a chicken pot pie.

Grim swallowed, smearing more juices on his face as he grinned, "Yeah, yeah. The old crow's probably gonna bill us for broken things, right?"

Yuu slipped into the chair next to where Cheka was precariously perched, before lifting the little lion up, "You've gotta eat some actual food first before you get to the cake, little guy."

"Mmm! I'm a good lion, even my Papa doesn't like eating veggies," Cheka giggled as Yuu grabbed a couple of pillows for him to sit on. "Can I have some of the fried chicken? Ooh, and that green stuff?"

Yuu passed over the food, glancing up at Leona, "I guess that's one similarity between you and your brother, huh?"

There was a tail swat to their legs, "Shut it." It was almost intriguing to watch Leona run through his second steak. It was like...he was some sort of vacuum with how fast he was getting through them.

They nudged at his leg, putting a cup of water next to his plate, "Don't choke yourself on it."

"What a nice and caring servant I have," Leona's words dripped with sarcasm, but even so, he took a sip of water before slowing down his pace.

"Would you guys like to sit down too?" Yuu glanced up at the ghosts who were still milling around the table.

"Hihihi~ How nice of you to ask~," One of the ghosts said.

"We're okay, dearie," Another said. "You go and eat your fill. It's a special occasion after all."

And with that, Yuu finally got to eating themself. They took on a bowl of ramen, knowing that Grim wasn't too fond of soup and the like. The ramen itself was delicious, and so were all the other things they tried.

Cheka was tugging at their shirt before long, "Yuu-tan, Yuu-tan! You gotta try this thing! It's all squishy and melty on the inside but the outside is hard like a cracker." As Cheka raved, he swung what looked like a fried stick of...something on his fork.

"Yuu-tan, you'll try it, right?" Cheka said, finally presenting the fork towards Yuu's mouth.

"Sure," They took a bite, feeling melted cheese flooding their mouth. "Ah, I think that's a fried mozzarella stick."

"Fried...mozzarella?" Cheka's ears quirked. "I don't think I've ever had that before."

"'Course not," Leona commented drily. "At the palace, all you get is traditional food, right kid?"

"Mhm! But Mama said it's okay if we order Magi-livery twice a month," Cheka recited before chewing through the rest of the mozzarella stick. "Ish becuth Pwapa wansh to."

"And wouldn't your Papa tell you to eat first and then talk, brat?" Leona gave a sigh. "I'm warning you if you start choking..."

Yuu hid their smile behind a hand, "Woah, this is a rare sight... Leona being...caring?" That earned them a snarl and they felt Leona hook a foot under their chair and tug. They yelped as their chair jolted from the force.

"Being awfully chatty today, huh, herbivore?” He gave their chair one last shake. “Want me to remind you who has more to lose?"

"You need not worry, Master," Yuu made a show of bowing slightly. "I'll be your faithful servant till the day the winter ends, I promise that on what little possessions I own."

A strange look passed over Leona's face, and he paused mid-bite, "So what? After winter, you'll just go on your merry way?"

"Yup! You don't gotta see his face anymore after," Grim said, his face a mess of all the dishes he tried. Yuu grabbed one of the napkins, shaking their head as they wiped up the mess.

"By the end of winter, your paid gopher will be back," Yuu couldn't help the teasing that slipped into their voice as they added. "Oh my, will Leona-sama miss me?" There was a pause before the strange look passed from Leona's face completely.

He folded his arms, challenging them with a crook of the brow, "As if, I'd miss your annoying ass."

"Well, I'm sure Ojitan is ly~ing," Cheka declared loudly.

"Yeah?" Yuu brought up another napkin to wipe at Cheka's mouth. "How do you know that, little lion?"

"Because," Cheka pointed between them. "You guys are best friends. And cuz I'm gonna miss you, Yuu-tan! So Ojitan has to miss you too. Oh, promise you'll come to the Savanna to visit me sometime?"

Yuu gave him a soft smile, "I promise." They did it simply because it was...nice to have plans for the future. Especially with how uncertain everything was. It was nice to have places to explore and promises to keep; if only for the time that they would stay here.

"And if Yuu-tan came, then Ojitan would have to come home too, right?" Cheka smiled brightly at Leona then. "It's been so long since you've come!"

"I'd only come to keep you out of trouble," Leona said, sending them a pointed look. "The palace is filled to the brim with hunters, and you're the freshest prey. And they won't be as lenient as I am."

"Oh yeah? As lenient as you when we first met?" Yuu tapped their chin. "What was it that you said? 'Hope you're ready to leave behind a tooth?'"

Cheka gasped, brows scrunching together, "Ojitan, that's not nice, that's violence!"

"Yeah! And you were almost ready to punch us," Grim piped in helpfully. "We were just passin' through, y'know!"

"Ugh," Leona scratched at his ear. "I didn't know them back then, and they stepped on my tail first."

"And I was going to apologize until you threatened to knock out my teeth," Yuu countered.

"Mmm, sure you were," Leona propped up his head as he reached for yet another cut of steak. "You and that monster looked two seconds from running away."

Yuu threw their hands up in defeat, "Y'know what, I give up."

And at that exact moment, a bright light flashed through the window, illuminating the room for just a brief moment. Yuu blinked, feeling Cheka suddenly latching onto them and Grim's claws on their other side. What...was that—?

"You guys really are a bunch of scared herbivores," Leona drawled, looking unfazed. "Didn't you mention something about a laser show?"

"That was the laser show?" Grim exclaimed, looking half-scared and half-intrigued.

"I was wondering how Ace was expecting me to be able to watch it from here," Yuu muttered, peeling Grim's claws away from their arm. "I guess it's just...really that bright."

"I wanna see!" Cheka announced, no longer afraid as he bounded for the couch. Grim wasn't far behind him and Yuu followed them as well. The lights danced, nothing like the laser shows they saw in their old world. No, instead these lights seemed to have a life of their own. They formed pictures, of different animals and sights from Sage Island recreated in the backdrop of the night sky.

“O-one day the Great Grim will be able to do stuff like that, y’know!”

“Will they do a lion? I wanna see them do a big strong lion, like Ojitan!”

“Wanna take a picture?” Yuu blurted, looking at the two kids. “I mean, I still have that ghost camera, so it’d be a waste not to take one.”

“That’s a great idea, henchman!” Grim proudly sat in the middle of the couch. “The Great Grim will take the center place, y’know!”

“I wanna sit next to Ojitan!” Cheka proclaimed before sending the biggest kitten eyes over to Leona, who was still at the table.

“No way. I’m not joining that.”

“Come on,” They shook the camera in Leona's direction. “Just do it for the memories! We haven’t taken pictures at all, so isn’t it okay to have one picture to commemorate this winter?”

And maybe Yuu was speaking too closely to their own heart because after the winter, this would really all be over. They were a first-year, so it wasn’t like they had many opportunities to see Leona in class. And it wasn’t like Leona ever attended class. They would have no excuse to seek him out again after their…contract was completed. But was it really wrong to want to hold on to memories of this? Of the first time since they've gotten here that they really felt like they belonged to something?

So Yuu was secretly overjoyed when Leona finally stood up, lumbering over to the space next to Cheka and sprawling out on the couch. “I’m allowing one picture. One. And you better not post it anywhere. I don’t want anyone thinkin’ I’m getting cushy with herbivores like you.”

Yuu ignored the off-handed jab, positioning the camera on the table. They stacked a few books underneath it, balancing it against a spare candleholder. They glanced towards the seemingly-empty hallway, “Would you guys like to join us for the picture? Since it’s a ghost camera, maybe it could capture ghosts too.” As they thought, the ghosts appeared one by one, all displaying their creepy-yet-also-kind-of-friendly smiles. 

“We would love to,” One of them said, before floating over to line the back of the couch.

“Henchman, I’ll allow you to sit next to the Great Grim,” Grim placed a paw to the vacant spot next to him. “And I’ll let you sit next to me too, y’know.” Cheka smiled brightly at the permission, squeezing between Grim and Leona.

“Okay, I’ll set the timer for five seconds, so everyone get ready,” They glanced over at Leona, rolling their eyes. “Leona-sama, could this humble servant request an expression that isn’t one of such disdain?”

“Tch,” Leona’s face morphed into one that looked awfully like a cross between a sneer and a smirk. Well, it was better than the huge frown he was sporting earlier.

They clicked on the button, carefully making their way to the couch and sitting down. They made sure to lean towards Grim, giving the ghost camera a big smile as it flashed. As soon as it was over, the ghosts dissipated, returning to their wandering. And the two kids? They returned to watching the laser show.

“Ah! A lion, they did a lion, did you see that Ojitan?” There was a grumbled reply as Yuu tucked the photo onto the mantle for safekeeping. It was definitely a photo to remember. From theirs and Grim’s matching grins to Cheka’s toothy smile, and Leona’s disgruntled look, it was all captured in the ghost camera’s film forever.

Yuu walked back to the table, taking this as a good time to start cleaning up. As they stacked the empty plates, they could feel Leona watching them. "What?" They asked, adding a few more cups onto the precarious pile of dishes.

Leona's expression soured, "You're such a goody-two-shoes."

"Hey, I'm trying not to waste food," Yuu brought the pile into their hands. "Besides, I don't see you volunteering to help."

"You're right. I'm not," Then Leona was back to folding his arms. "Just do it quick before the brats get loud again."

Yuu made their way to the Ramshackle kitchen, which...wasn't really much of a kitchen. But hey, at least the stove and fridge worked. They carefully placed the stack into the kitchen sink before going back to pick up any dishes they didn't get. Leona was watching them for a while before he lost interest, looking more like he'd fall asleep in two seconds.

Now it was the fun part: sorting all the leftovers. There were a couple of dishes and a lot of desserts that went untouched. Probably because Leona wasn't much of a sweet tooth, and the kids had filled themselves to the brim with the main dishes and appetizers. After putting them away into plastic containers, Yuu leaned against the counter with a sigh.

The two kids sounded energetic, despite it almost being twelve already, and they could hear them chatter and argue even from all the way over here. And last time they checked, Leona was slumped on the corner of the couch, scrolling through his phone.

Yuu grabbed one of the unopened glass bottles, pouring its contents into a cup. The liquid looked sparkly, almost like someone poured a tube of glitter into it. They gave it a cursory sniff. It smelled like some sort of...fruit juice.

As soon as they took a sip, they deemed that it was some sort of soda, as the liquid fizzed and popped against their tongue. They downed a whole cup of it in no time, the slightly-cold drink feeling nice after their hard work. And hey, who were they to deny some probably-expensive magical sparkly juice that Crowley bought them? Even when...wait, was magical juice supposed to make the temperature of the room rise?

There was a tug on their pants and they looked down to see Cheka standing there, "Ojitan said it's time for bed because it's almost twelve." Yuu fanned at themself before nodding, feeling the heat settling at the base of their throat. When they looked up again, it felt like the room was tilting and they stumbled right into the doorjamb with a grunt.

"Ah?" They felt confused. How come everything felt so floaty and weird all of a sudden? They crouched down, planting themself on the floor to avoid...crashing into anything else.

"Yuu-tan! Are you okay?" Cheka was there in seconds, little hands pressing against their face. "Your face is all hot... Ojitan! There's something wrong with Yuu-tan!! I think they're sick!" Their ears rang as Cheka yelled and they leaned their forehead against their arm.

They could practically hear the growl in Leona's voice as he answered, "What is it, I just got Grim to shut u- why does it stink of alcohol?"

"Al...cohol?" Yuu shot up immediately, stumbling over to the counter.

"Hey, slow down," They felt a warm hand on their shoulder, holding them still. "If you get hurt, 'm not taking responsibility, alright?"

Yuu blinked, trying to get the blurriness away from their eyes as they read the tag stuck on the other bottle:

This is the sparkling fruit liqueur I got for Kingscholar-kun as a treat since he is of age. Make sure not to drink it, Prefect, since it is quite strong~

Your most benevolent headmage,

Dire Crowley

"Shit."

There was a loud gasp from Cheka, "Yuu-tan said a bad word! Ojitan, they're sick...Yuu-tan's sick! " Cheka was now clinging onto their leg, which was doing absolutely nothing to help with their balance. They leaned against the counter before shoving the bottle into Leona's hands.

"I didn't...I didn't mean to-" Yuu pressed a hand to their head, wincing at the headache starting to form. Leona still held firm onto their shoulder, reading the note with disdain.

"Of course, you didn't mean to. No one's mad here, except maybe that birdbrain for sending students alcohol," Leona huffed, before turning towards the teary-eyed Cheka. "Hey, screech box, could you listen to me for a sec?"

"Are you gonna help Yuu-tan?" Cheka asked hopefully, climbing halfway up Leona's leg.

Leona held him in his arms for a second, "I'm gonna help the herbivore. You be a good kid and go upstairs, okay? Grim's waiting in the room, you can watch the rest of the lasers there while I take care of them."

Cheka's ears flattened at the instructions and Yuu felt...bad. They were the reason that Cheka was so distraught in the first place. So they leaned forward, hand reaching to pat the lion cub's head. His ears twitched receptively and he leaned closer to them, wrapping his little arms around their neck.

"Don't worry," They murmured. "I'll be okay."

"Can I get a goodnight kiss then?" Cheka's voice was muffled in their shoulder. "Just in case I fall asleep before you're feeling better." Yuu tilted their head. The request in itself wasn't strange, it was just...the first time that Cheka had asked them.

They found themself nodding, "O~kay." Cheka pulled back and Yuu pressed a light kiss to his forehead. They clumsily brushed at his hair, patting him once more, "Sleep well with Grim. Don't fight, okay?"

"Mmhmm," He scrambled back into Leona's arms. Leona, who was staring right at them.

"What?" Their tongue was starting to grow heavy. "You want one too?"

Leona shoved a hand to their cheek, "No. You sit down, I don't want to hear you crashing into shit while I'm gone, okay?" They hummed in reply, plopping down onto the floor. They gave Cheka a wave as Leona left.

So this was what being drunk felt like. It wasn't...unpleasant, but they did feel a little too floaty. They reached a hand out towards the cupboard only to wince when it collided a little too fast. And maybe it was better to lie down. The flat of the floor felt nice against their back, and maybe if they closed their eyes for just a second, the floaty feeling would go away...

They didn’t know how long it was till they felt someone nudging them. They let their eyes drift open to see Leona, "Up. Now." There was a firm hand under their arms as they scrambled for something to hold. The transition from lying down to upright did nothing to the buzz in their brain.

"Wait, y-you're going too fast," They slurred out, squawking when they bumped right into Leona's chest.

"How low is your alcohol tolerance that you're this hammered?" Leona muttered, going just a little slower.

"I don't've a low tolera~nce," They tugged purposefully at Leona's hair. "I drank a who~le bottle of that sparkly stuff." Leona stared at them like they were crazy. Or was he even looking this way at all?

"You stay on the couch, don't fucking move," Leona commanded, and the softness of the cushioning made them sigh. They wouldn't ever want to move from this. Oh but, it was nice having Leona there to take care of them. They could just imagine the frowny face Leona was making, all while doing his best to accommodate them. Ah, they really, really did like him after all. The thought of it all made them giggle.

There was a press of something cold to their cheek, "What're you giggling for, herbivore? Here, drink this and eat this." They sat up, or attempted to before Leona was dragging them into a sitting position.

"You're not sleeping until you finish all that." They took a sip of the clear stuff, which was water, to their delight. It was cool, trailing down their throat so smoothly.

There were still lights flashing outside, and they turned their gaze towards the lights, "'S not done yet?"

"No," Leona sounded a lot farther than before, sitting all the way at the other end of the couch. "There's still ten minutes till the new year."

Ten minutes.

They looked back at Leona and hoped that they would make it past the ten minutes. Having Leona be the first thing they saw in the New Year...well that made their heart swell. And look, Leona looked so pretty under the darkness. And when the lights hit him, ah, he really was handsome, wasn't he? They swallowed another gulp of water. They belatedly hoped that they wouldn't say anything incriminating. Wait…what were they just talking about?

[ omake : give me one good honest kiss ]

Leona didn't know if he had the strength to deal with this. After wrangling the two kids, he had to deal with a drunk herbivore? The Great Seven really were not smiling upon him tonight. And he definitely wasn’t letting that damned birdbrain off the hook. He was to blame for all this after all.

"Why're you so far away, anyway?" Leona watched as they leaned against the couch, taking a bite of the bread he gave them. "Blergh, this tastes like ashes."

"I'm not far away," Leona couldn't help but sound irritated, because really, he wasn't far away. He was close enough to reach for the glass in case they lost their grip on it. "And that's just plain bread, stop being dramatic."

The herbivore hummed in response, quietly staring at him again. The usually reserved and cunning Prefect, reduced to the starry-eyed person who offered him a goodnight's kiss.

Leona could feel the heat at the back of his neck as they continued to stare, "What're you staring at?"

"You," There was that damned smile again, the one that was never directed at him. "You're pre~tty. Or- do you prefer hand~some...?" Sevens, how was Leona supposed to last in these conditions?

"C'mon, finish up the water at least," Leona ignored the comment, reaching for the half-eaten bread.

But they moved their hand away, frowning, "Are you rejecting my compliment, Leona Kingscholar? I just called you pretty handsome. Usually, you'd be gloa~ting."

"I'm not going to gloat over a simple compliment," Leona caught their wrist, easing the bread from their grip and setting it on the plate he prepared. "Why are you being so difficult?"

"'M not," They gripped at his hand in return. "You're just being stu~pid." He really could not deal with this right now. He missed their normal self. He really took their normal self for granted, Leona thought sourly.

Leona glanced at his phone, "Okay, there's five minutes till New Year's. You're going to sleep in five minutes, alright?"

Yuu's frown deepened, "But I wanna stay here with you." And if that didn't make Leona's heart melt, he wouldn't know what did.

"You're here now," Leona ambled closer after figuring out they weren't letting go of his hand any time soon. "I'll take you upstairs after the New Year. Here, I'll turn on the radio so you know I'm not tricking you."

That seemed to satisfy them as they leaned back on the couch, eyes trained on the fanfare outside. The radio played in the background, the announcer talking aimlessly to fill in the time. Nothing could've prepared him for the question they would ask next.

"Have you ever had a New Year's kiss?"

Leona's mouth felt dry as he spoke next, "A...what?"

"New Year's ki~ss," They repeated, laughing lightly. "Don't tell me they don't have those here?"

"They...don’t," Leona lied easily, and he didn't have an answer as to why he did. Ah, but if they did offer to kiss him, he should refuse. He would refuse. That was the only way to keep their relationship as it was, right?

"Really? So you've ne~ver kissed someone at New Year's before?" They were fully facing him now.

"No." Now that one was a truth.

The tradition existed here, but it was something special to be done between two who loved each other very much. A lot of the times they were married or engaged couples, or people who were...dating. And Leona wasn't interested in anyone that way. Or that was until the recent months.

"How many minutes?"

And Leona swallowed as the radio answered for him with a cheery, "We have a minute left, folks! Get ready with your party poppers!"

There was a hand on his shoulder and he fought not to flinch as they closed the distance. "No," Leona said in what he hoped was a stern tone. "I'm not kissing you."

They laughed again, face dangerously close this time, "You're so boring. C'mon~ It's my first New Years here~"

He pressed a hand over their mouth, hoping to deter them, "You're drunk."

"And you're Leona Kingscholar," They still managed to lean forward just a bit more. "Stop stating the obvious."

"You don't even like me," He shot out, not caring for the answer. He just pleaded that they would give up. The countdown started in the background, his own heartbeat mixing with the sound of numbers.

"I do like you," Their eyes curved, and he could feel them smile against his palm. "'S why we’re here together, right?"

"-wo! One! Happy New Year!"

There was a press of something soft against his palm before they flopped onto his stomach, "Still kissed you… Happy New...Year's..."

Leona didn't know how long he was frozen in place. All that he knew was that it was long enough for the post-New Year light show to finish and that by the time he finally moved, the herbivore was fast asleep.

He closed his palm, nursing the ghost of warmth left there. His first New Year's kiss. It wasn't, by all means, traditional. But it counted to Leona. He let out a low laugh, because of course it would be Yuu to steal his first New Year's kiss away from him. He watched the slow rise and fall of their shoulders as they were blissfully unaware of the turmoil that they caused.

"If you're gonna kiss me, do it properly next time," Leona's hand stroked their hair cautiously. "Specifically when you aren't drunk."

Now he knew for certain. He knew here was no denying how simply and utterly in love he was with them. It was so dumb of him to think that he could just ignore it all. How was he supposed to ignore them when he was the one who made a contract where they would have to be with him for weeks on end? That was an oversight on his part, but it wasn’t like he could’ve predicted that he would’ve fallen this hard. The evidence being how he still couldn’t make his heart calm down even after the moment had passed so long ago.

He sighed as he pulled out his magic pen, casting a spell to make them float. He couldn’t trust his knees to hold their weight after what he was just subjected to. Still, he held them close as he made his way up the stairs. The steady thud-thud-thud of their heartbeat helped him to finally calm down.

Finally, the cramped bed that they usually slept on came into view. The two kids were predictably cuddled up to each other under the blankets. It was a surprise that Grim didn’t kick Cheka out. Then again, when did he start caring about things like that?

He gently placed them on the bed, his ears flattening as the bed squeaked. He made sure to tuck them in nicely. As he finished, they instinctively held on to his arm, mumbling incoherently as they drifted back asleep. Leona ever so carefully removed his arm, replacing it with the tangled mess of Grim and Cheka.

There was no way he would be able to lie down on the bed, so he grabbed a spare pillow before dragging himself back downstaira. The couch was surprisingly soft, and in no time, Leona felt himself drifting to sleep. And if he dreamed of them in his sleep, of New Year’s kisses and promises and memories to be made… That was something that he would keep a secret, even if the dream would slowly slip through his fingers by the time he would wake.

will leona ever get that kiss ? who knows ! (it's me. i know. but will i tell you ? ....no-) but i do hope you enjoyed this chapter >:DD if you'd like to see more of my works, check out my masterlist (i've been churning out leona fics n drabbles bc of leona rot lately so :')) have fun with that :')) )

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[sigynpenniman]

So uhhhhhhh the second tweet screenshotted in that Instagram post is mine!!! Spectacular!! Amazing! Do not love it here.

stretch marks are sexy. ““imperfections”” are sexy. On anyone. I like people who look un-airbrushed and human. i like people with visible stretch marks and loose skin and scars and birthmarks and eyes that are different from each other and wrinkles and everything else. Because that’s my taste in people, and because i too see myself in it. My thighs are covered in stretch marks. Seeing someone be so beautiful and sexy with them is healing in the best possible way. I was delighted to see someone else having a similar specific moment on Twitter. i could not resisting tossing in my beloved Alpharetta photo. It’s beautiful and confronting and yes, to me, very sexy.

I never in a million years imagined THAT would be the thing that got me roasted on the internet.

I have a story to tell.

I keep a folder of “work appropriate” Gerard images (ie, with a minimal amount of leg and thigh visible) which i use as the wallpaper on my work laptop. No one roast me for this. I work at a university. I’m allowed to do things like this. Anyway. I cycle out my Gerard wallpapers fairly often, and while i stick to the less leg-heavy ones, ring of fire is still ring of fire and those gloves are still those gloves and it’s still what it is.

Part of the reason I keep those wallpapers is because of the reactions they get. People do see them sometimes, and people do react. Subtly. They don’t say anything. But you can feel the temperature shift in the room. I live in Florida. These things are not unrelated. I am going to make everyone around me get real comfortable with Gerard Way in a skirt or take their problems elsewhere.

Anyway, I digress. Here’s my actual point.

I cycle that wallpaper album through fairly frequently. It’s mostly Detroit and ring of fire. People react to them all more or less the same way. I’m used to it. But for a while it was that Alpharetta photo in the tweet. The one I just reposted, with the very visible stretch marks. And that photo got the MOST obviously uncomfortable reaction of them ALL. It was THAT photo that I could feel Bothering the people who looked over my shoulder. Not the pantyhose or the sexy pencil skirt or the fetishy gloves, but the stretch marks.

This seems relevant to the conversation.

And this has reminded me why I gotta get the fuck off twitter again.

compilation of instagram users implying liking gerard way's stretchmarks or stretchmarks in general makes you a fetishist because how dare you be sexually attracted to fat people or people who have fluctuated in weight over the course of 46 years