#Mind MGMT

[jones-friend]

WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT SOME MORE GAMES

Mind MGMT is a great deduction game best for 2 people, workable with 3 or 5, but never for 4. In this game one player is the Mastermind, using a wipeboard behind their DM screen to move about and recruit for their evil agency. Everyone else plays the role of rogue agents and detectives trying to catch the mastermind. You track their footstep tokens and try to find when they were at which spaces to discern their location before time runs out.

The style in this game is great. Very comic-ish. The mechanics lend themselves well to trying to find the mastermind and the game comes with packs for continued play, making it an odd combo of legacy game and tabletop one off. If you enjoy these kinds of games with a roommate or two take a look into it! Its well done!

Arnak had been high on my list for a while and I’m glad I finally tried it! In Arnak the players take the role of explorers searching for the bird temple on in the ruins of Arnak. Over 5 rounds you must search out and excavate dig sites, gathering artifacts to do research on to find the temple. Its got some worker placement, some deckbuilder, and a whole lot of resource management.

There’s clever systems in Arnak that reward exploration without rng getting too in the way. I like how the research track has two tokens to move for different bonuses. I like how we get less Item cards for our decks and more Artifacts as the game progresses. I’ve played a number of tight games like Underwater Cities, I have never felt more pressed for time like I have here. And I mean that in a good way! Arnak is a great time with enough variance to make future games feel different. Its great!

ARK NOVA. Is a game I’ve seen in shops a number of times but wasn’t able to spring on it until now. Each player manages a zoo: building enclosures, getting animals, forming associations with regions and universities, receiving sponsorships, there’s a whole lot to do. It comes down to raising your appeal level vs your conservation level, two opposing meters on the large board, and once they cross the game ends and the player with the most distance between these markers wins.

I would say Ark Nova is a heavier game. More casual groups who run Azul, Splendor, and Sheriff of Nottingham may have more trouble with it. Groups who like Arkham Horror, Spirit Island, Terraforming Mars and the like will have a great time. It took about 3.5hrs to learn and play from scratch with 3 people. I love the way its systems work together and its mechanism of making actions more powerful the more time between uses was really juicy. To me its a great game to sink into for a few hours.

Its got QUILTS. Its got BUTTONS. Its got KITTIES. What else do you need! In Calico each player has three goal tiles relevant to colors or patterns of hexes surrounding these tiles (three pairs, no matches, two of a kind). On your turn place a hex from the two in your hand then draft one from the three available. Fulfill your goal tiles for points. Get 3 like colors for a button for 3 points. Get patterns of hexes in a contiguous shape and a kitty lays on your blanket for 3-7 points. The game ends when all quilts are finished.

This was a surprisingly thinky game! Since your goal tiles A, B, and C are arranged so A and B, B and C share hexes where you place what matters. Goals also have points for meeting it with Just shapes and colors or Both shapes and colors giving it this extra layer of challenge. If you were enamored by the box I recommend Calico! The best part is the end of the rules book where each named and featured cat gets a blurb about them. 11/10 best game.

[thefailurecult]

[re-readingcomics]

Comics Read 08/27- 09/01/2023

The original Mind MGMT written and drawn by Matt Kindt is one of my favorite comic books ever. Reading it was immersive in a way I didn’t think was possible. So naturally I had to get and read Mind MGMT Bootleg. Matt Kindt is still the writer, but here he is joined by an assortment of artists, each drawing an individual issue. In the order of the issue they worked on the artists are Farel Dalrymple, Matt Lesniewski, David Rubín and Jill Thompson. Thompson is the only one with whom I was familiar before reading this. They all have distinct styles, and they all do well with the stories that they are given.

One of the reasons the original Mind MGMT is so exciting is by how it takes advantage of the  format. This included having notes in the margins of the pages, some of which suggested something suspicions about the paper it was printed on, while other pages gave instructions for some kind of impossible craft. This all feels very personal for the writer, and I would imagine the creator. Would something like this carry over when they writer shares his duties with more artists? The answers is sort of. There are not those types of digressions in the sections with the various artists. However, after the main issues there his a script “sample” for people who want to understand how comics get made. Only the scenes in the scripts aren’t actually scenes in the issues and some of the instructions to the are written as if they were within the world of Mind MGMT. Also there are a small, short back of the issue comics that I believe were drawn by Kindt, though they don’t seem to get a distinct credit. (Eventually they’re revealed to be by one of the new characters.)

The plot of Mind MGMT Bootleg involves an attempt to relaunch Mind MGMT, the agency, while also relaunching the comic book series. The agency from the original series was corrupt and dehumanizing to it’s various employees, some of whom return here. But, it seems there are threats right now, such as the amount of pessimism and disinformation out there, that could use the products created by Mind MGMT to combat them. Which leads me, the reader, to have to ask myself; How much do I actually want a relaunch of Mind MGMT?

I didn’t like Kindt’s follow up series as writer and artist, Dept.H as much as I liked Mind MGMT. But I don’t like never ending franchise. There has to be a better reason to go there. 

[smashpages]

Out this week for trade waiters: Mind Mgmt Bootleg (Dark Horse, $24.99):

Matt Kindt teamed up with Dark Horse to launch Flux House, with this four-issue series set in his Mind MGMT universe being the first release from the imprint. Kindt brought in four different artists — Farel Dalrymple, David Rubin, Matt Lesniewski, Jill Thompson — for this story about a former Mind MGMT leader who recruits a team of the most powerful forgotten agents of all time to rebuild the organization.

See what else is coming to your friendly neighborhood comic book store this week.

[comicsispeople]

"There are certainly Hollywood-ized versions of 'Dumb person gets recruited to be a spy, hilarity ensues, starring Melissa McCarthy and/or Kevin Hart.' But Spy Superb is great because everyone takes it deadly serious. In other words, it feels like a great espionage thriller, instead of a comedy, even if it is sort of satirizing everyone involved. And I'm excited to see where it goes!"

[chicken0death]

Board games have been on my mind a lot this past week. I got some new shelves to store them on. Their cheap, look a bit childish, but they hold the games in neat stacks. I've been going through my games, "organizing" (really, I'm just stacking them as neatly as possible) and pondering what games would be good for our Monday meetups.

Our group has decided to take turns each week choosing a game to play. This week was M's turn. He chose Quacks of Quedlinburg. Players take on the role of potion makers. Each round players simultaneously pull chips from their bags until they feel like stopping, or until their brew explodes. There are different ingredients you can buy to get yourself farther along the track, earn rubies, points, etc.

It's a push-your-luck game at heart. It was loads of fun! Plus, it looks great too!

Between bigger games we played a round of Zombie Kittens. It's like Exploding Kittens, but players can come back to life. It was OK, but I think I prefer just standard Exploding Kittens. I neglected to take pics. One of these days I'll remember to take pics of all the games we play.

Lastly, we played a round of Mind Mgmt.

This game makes me feel like the spouse/ S. O. of the detective in those serial killer movies. They always walk into the kitchen at, like, 2:00 am, obsessed detective staring intently at papers and crime scene photos and documents splayed in a mess all over the table, and say, "why don't you come to bed? You've been at it all day."

The detective replies, "I'm so close. I can feel it."

S. O. sighs and says, "well, turn the lights out when you're done."

The next day, at work, divorce papers arrive for the detective.

It's a deduction game, and a challenging one, but my mind can't ever, and doesn't really care to, make sense of the loads of information on the board. I understand it's important work their doing. That they're close to catching this guy. But I have supper to cook, and dishes to wash, and a life to live. Leave it to the professionals! You're only two weeks from retirement. Let the new guy handle it.

Sorry. Got a bit lost in the metaphor. But hopefully you get the idea.

Everyone else at the table is able to figure it out pretty well, so I guess that's OK. Somehow, my final random question about some pool on the board revealed just the right piece of intel to make it all click into place for W. and J.

Somehow, I always enjoy myself. I'm supportive and try my best not to interfere.

[boardgametoday]

Mind MGMT Deluxe and Playing Cards now for sale!

Mind MGMT Deluxe and Playing Cards now for sale! #boardgames #tabletopgames @offthepagegames

If you’ve missed out, Off the Page Games has announced that web sales for the Mind MGMT board game and Mind MGMT playing cards are now open. You can get the board game in a regular or deluxe edition and the playing card decks are being sold individually or in a display of 12. Mind MGMT: The Psychic Espionage “Game” Deluxe edition WITH Secret Missions included is now for sale on our website! This…

[lankayu]

euyyyghhh today im diving into my sanusoverse headcanons and todays topic is playing PRETEND because they are fated to pretend (MGMT🫡🫡🫡) i have this long ass twitter thread of quotes that remind me of sanuso and i happened to add two back to back that have similar themes and I think they really go hand in hand, showing how each of them yearn

i think majority of sanusoers agree that sanji is without a doubt the one in the relationship to deny his feelings, and we’re talking over the course of MONTHS… the only thing that forces him to confront them is the exhaustion of the front he’d have to put up in front of his bestfriend, of having to pretend. sometimes he feels like hanging around usopp is almost dreadful and it hurts because he hadn’t done a thing. sanji’s getting all up in his head and he knows but it’s a force that simply can’t be stopped!! usopp is his best friend. the one who tells him jokes that make him laugh harder than he ever has and he hates himself for feeling this way and making things so complicated. he tells himself he can longer do this. everyday he looks at usopp and thinks, “i can no longer pretend i don’t want to love you” because it’s all he’s ever wanted since he got to truly know him. yet, he won’t do a thing. he won’t say a word about his true feelings. he cannot, but he forces himself to keep pretending, because he’s not as brave as usopp thinks

USOPP, on the other hand… he KNOWS sanji likes him and he KNOWS the cook is pretending he doesn’t feel the sparks between them and he pretends it doesn’t bother him. but it does. it will for as long he yearns. it’s the worst feeling in the world, knowing your best friend is in love with you and watching him laugh pretending he isn’t. usopp was always a bit off put by sanji’s obnoxious infatuation with women so like. he gets it, but would loving him really be such a scary thing? usopp knows the answer to sanji’s inner turmoil and he fears he’ll fight those feelings forever. but he doesn’t mind waiting for him, even if this longing goes on forever. so he pretends too. he puts on a brave face and pretends that sanji’s denial doesn’t bother him

and when those sparks end up igniting a flame, then what?🧐🧐

[beetrans]

this post is not reflective of the opinions of the author's employer

[sandwrrm]

the way i got so anxious for this interview drilling myself on answering common questions only for the hiring manager to be suuuuper fucking awkward on the phone and basically not ask me anything whatsoever lmao, mans literally monologued about the job for thirty minutes straight sprinkled with many long weird pauses and no typical interview shit whatsoever (cannot stress enough that this was fine, i hate interviews and was happy to sit back and listen lol, i just thought it was strange)

now instead of being worried i'd fumble it by being a shitty nervous interviewee, i'm worried i've fumbled it by being overqualified, overselling myself, and sounding too extra and formal in that ND overcompensating masking way lmao

[thefailurecult]

[deermouth]

Forgiving who you are

For shat you stabd to gain

Just know that if you hide

It doesn't go away

[grapejuicebrat]

“Little dark age”

PAIRING: dark!rafe cameron x reader

SYNOPSIS: just know that if you hide it doesn’t go away.

SUMMARY: from the very beginning your relationship with rafe were perfect. You went on a dates, called each other multiple times just because. After a perfect month everything changed. He called you because he wanted to know where you are. At the end of the day he is worried about you. He stalked you just to know that you are safe. At the end of the day he is worried about you. He beat the shit out of a random guy who just helped you on the street because this guy could be a maniac. At the end of the day rafe was worried about you. You fell into a golden cage but at the end of the day rafe knew better. He is just worried about you.

WARNINGS: rafe cameron, a little bit of smut, angst, toxic and abusive relationship, swearing, kissing, mentions of blood, mentions of death, reader being a mouse and rafe being a cat:)

NOTES: what can i say the effect of rafe cameron and s4 of outer banks. be nice english isn’t my first language. inspiration:

WORD COUNT: 772

I appreciate reblogs and likes, share your ideas and thoughts too!

“Rafey, you don’t mean that, right?” you were about to start crying. Your eyes are full of tears, voice is shaking. He can’t do this. He can’t stop you from meeting your friends. You knew them for more than 10 years. if you don't have them, with whom will you have to share your thoughts and fears? Rafe is too busy for this shit. He needs to earn money, he doesn’t have time for your stupid thoughts.

“Stop with this fucking shit. I already told you you don’t need them anyway. You have me.” Rafe thinks that you are too fucking stupid if you think that you can change his mind. he has already decided that you will be better off without these pogues who are preventing you from making the right decisions. they decided to turn you against him. what kind of shit they are. you can't survive without him, he knows that. you are not adapted to a poor life, you are used to living in gold and money.

“But Rafey, they are my friends. I don’t have anybody except them” you want to say something else but you were interrupted by Rafe. He just slapped you. You feel your cheek burning and tears begin to flow. Yeah, he shouted at you before, but never hit you. Not until today. There was silence in the room. You look at him with wide eyes, not believing what he just did. “You hit me.”

“Cause you don’t fucking understand. God, i can’t remember that you were that fucking stupid when we first started dating. What the fuck, doll. Use your fucking brain. I’m just really worried about you. I want to be sure that you are always safe, you are always with me” he speaks quickly, not allowing you to say anything in response. actively gestures with his hands, showing that he really cares. Rafe takes your face in his hands and squeezes your cheeks tightly with his palms. You wince, one cheek still hurts from the blow, but you remain silent. You want to hear what else he has to say. You want to believe that he cares about you.

“Baby…fuck. I don’t like to hurt you, you know? But i can’t just pretend that you are good when you are acting bad. My word is the last, i’m the man. I am working like a damn dog so you could have a roof over your head and what are your responsibilities? prepare dinner and open your legs when I ask? Is that too hard? If you can’t do this, maybe i should break up with you and find a girlfriend who will respect me.” Rafe sighed, pretending to be disappointed. obviously he wanted you to feel guilty towards him.

It’s your fault that he beat the guy until he bled, you shouldn’t have agreed to his offer of help. It's your fault that that guy died in the hospital. It's your fault that Rafe was sent to prison for a couple of weeks. It's your fault that Rafe is disappointed in you now. after all, you're acting like a bad girlfriend who doesn't respect him.

“Maybe you’re right” you finally said in a quiet voice. Rafe stopped and looked at you carefully.

“What was that?”

“I said maybe you’re right” you repeated looking into his eyes. “maybe you should find a new girl who will respect you and humiliate herself for you?”

“That was the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard” Rafe laughs as he comes closer to you. “You don’t seem to understand. even if I find a new girl, I will also take care of you, keep an eye on you. You will always be mine. Wherever you are, whoever you are with. Always. Mine. In fact, you won't be with anyone. Because it's all mine.” He looks at you like a hungry animal. He runs his fingers along your cheek, down to your neck and lower. He squeezes your breasts tightly with his hand, the other going down to your stomach and to the butt. you stand motionless. you almost can’t breathe because you’re afraid of doing something wrong. You are afraid of Rafe.

“You are so good for me right now. My good girl” he praises you, slowly starting to kiss your neck. He teases you, grinning like a devil. Suddenly he leans away, taking your face in his hands. “I will never let you go, doll. I’m your endgame.”

And he kisses you. Sharp, painful and powerful. so you understand that he is not joking. he will truly never let you go. He is your endgame.

[chicken0death]

I had a plan to make one large post cataloging all the games from the holiday weekend, but I forgot to take pictures of yesterday's gaming. Oh well, words will have to do the work this time.

We spent Christmas eve with my parents. This year is a bit different for us. We're not able to see a lot of our family and it's starting to get to us. Thankfully the holidays are almost over with, so we can get back to pretending everything is normal.

After a tasty lunch of ham and all the fixings, we played a couple of games.

We started out with Truffle Shuffle. It's a quick, simple game where players try to make rummy style sets of cards and trade them in for the most points. Everyone seemed to really like this one.

We also played a couple rounds of Qwixx. It's one of our family's favorites. Dad closed off red early in the first round and shut everyone else out of a lot of points. We immediately decided to play another round. This one went much better for everyone.

Christmas was a quiet day for R. and me. We just played videos games, ate lots of food, and played one game of Cascadia.

I really like this game. It's relaxing. It's pleasant. And just feels cozy.

Yesterday was our regular gaming day. I failed take pictures. We played three games.

Sushi Go Party was first. I like that the game uses less cards, but also adds new food to the game. There's a few different things to change up the game a bit. I may have to get a copy of that one.

Next we played a new one for most of us. Mind Mgmt. It's a deduction game of hide and seek. We are definitely going to need to try it again.

Last, we played Cascadia. It was fun as always, but did seem to drag a bit with four players.

It was a pretty good holiday weekend. I'm glad it felt different from past years. I missed seeing everyone, but it was good to see who we did.

Next week I'll get some more pictures.

[frogspond200]

𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚘𝚗 𝙿𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚔𝚘𝚟

Requested by: Anon

Ask: Hey, I really REALLY. enjoyed you Simon Hcs, Could you do one for just normal and not yandered, please😫🙏🙏💓

Warnings: None

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Simon absolutely adores you. He worships the ground you walk on, your presence has brought a sense of stability and warmth into his life that he thought was lost forever.

Simon loves reading with you. Whether it's ancient scrolls, magical tomes, or simply a good storybook, he enjoys the companionship and discussions that come with it.

There is some residual angst in the relationship due to Simon's deep longing for Betty. While he's found happiness with you, he still carries the pain of losing his beloved Betty. Your understanding and support help him through these moments of melancholy.

Simon is a fan of cuddling. He finds solace in your arms, and the physical closeness reassures him that he's not alone in his struggles. It's a way for both of you to express affection and provide comfort.

Simon occasionally lets you in on his scientific projects. He trusts you enough to share his findings, inventions, and research. Your curiosity and insights often contribute to the success of these projects. You and Simon make a dynamic team when it comes to problem-solving. Your fresh perspective and his vast knowledge often lead to innovative solutions to the challenges you encounter in the Land of Aaa.

While he continues to grapple with the effects of the crown and the loss of Betty, your presence serves as a source of hope and emotional support.

Simon occasionally surprises you with his musical talents, playing the guitar or singing songs he's composed. It's a beautiful way for him to express his emotions and share moments of joy with you. You help Simon regain his sense of self and independence. While you support him, you also encourage him to pursue his own interests and passions beyond his past and the crown.

Despite the complexities and challenges of your relationship, the love you share with Simon is unwavering. Together, you navigate the ups and downs of life in the Land of Aaa, always by each other's side.

Simon Petrikov tends to take things slow in a relationship, especially considering his complex past and the emotional baggage he carries as a result of the Ice King's crown. He's likely to proceed with caution, prioritizing emotional intimacy and trust-building before rushing into anything too fast. Simon values stability and a sense of security, so he would be mindful of not overwhelming the relationship with speed.

Simon Petrikov can indeed be a romantic partner who appreciates the beauty in small gestures. While he may not always have access to traditional roses, he would find creative ways to express his love and create romantic moments. For example, he might use magical flowers or other enchanting elements to create a path leading to a warm, cozy bath for you to enjoy together. Simon would certainly put effort into making your time together special and memorable…

To set the mood, Simon would light scented candles or diffuse essential oils with calming fragrances like lavender or vanilla. The soothing aromas would fill the air, creating a serene and peaceful environment for you to relax and unwind.

Simon is also a fan of playing board games or card games. He finds that they not only provide entertainment but also help to foster a sense of togetherness and friendly competition.

You can spend hours laughing, strategizing, and creating fond memories while staying warm and cozy indoors.

And of course, Simon's musical talents come into play here as well. He might serenade you with a beautiful song on his guitar or share some enchanting melodies on the piano, adding a touch of magic and romance to the cozy atmosphere.

[ro-written]

eyes closed - pt. 2 - R.Z

“Even in death, he had his foot on the back of your neck.”

GeneralTags/Warnings: Physical pain against mc (punches, slaps, kicks), brainwashing (?), PTSD, VERY brief mention of eating issues, ANGST, Zoro is pretty sad im so sorry

Playlist:

Little Dark Age by MGMT I Can't Handle Change by Roar Reflections by The Neighbourhood

Word Count: 4k

← prev | next →

The first night there, you were treated with a grand welcome.

The “higher ups” of the crew took turns trying to break you down. There were a few times you almost passed out, but you tried to ground your mind, fingernails digging into your palms as you clenched your fists. Your crew would find you soon. Zoro would find you soon. And all these people would burn.

A kick to your stomach had you curling in on yourself on the floor. You were starting to recognize their shoes more than their faces. This pair belonged to the first mate and his long purple braid.

“I am so glad you still have some fight in you. The Captain particularly likes watching the hope leave feisty ones.” The crew laughed around him. “Maybe if you put on a really good show, we’ll get treated! I promise to give you my scraps.” Their laughs echoed even louder.

You gritted your teeth, pushed through the pain, and brought your hand out to grab at the first mate’s boot. You looked up at him standing above you, his eyes filled with vicious amusement. He tilted his head, before squatting down in front of you, curious as to what you had to say.

Then you struck, pulling his foot out from under him to throw him off balance, and brought him to the floor with you. He landed on his back with a grunt, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the face he made. You took the spit and blood that was pulling in your mouth and spat on his white shirt, marking it. You knew it would only lead to more pain, but if you could get one of them, you would be content.

“You fucking– Get the chair out!” The first mate yelled to the other men around him, and you felt yourself being picked up by your arms and dragged to the center of the room. They scraped over some sort of wooden chair, pushing you down to sit in it and holding you down. Cold chains tightened around your wrists, keeping your arms against the arms of the chair. They then moved down to your legs, wrapping around your ankles and keeping them to the legs of the chair. You heard some clicks from behind you, and as you tried to thrust your body backward to break the chair (to no avail), you realized they secured the chair to the floor.

The sound of a door opening silenced the room, save for you and your grunting, trying to get out of your chains by any means. Heavy footsteps made their way down the stairs, and you looked up to see a tall man with a gaudy hat, and even worse boots, smiling down at you. The silver in his teeth glinted at you in the small bit of light in the room.

All of the men watched his movements with an intenseness. He raised a hand up and waved it, all of his crew filed up the stairs and outside. As soon as the last member stepped out, he stepped up to you, grabbing your chin harshly with one hand. You noticed something in the other, like a piece of paper rolled up.

You didn’t have too much time to think about it, as he took his hand from your chin and slapped you with the palm. Your head spun, cheek smarting with pain. He laughed, bringing the back of his hand across your other cheek and whipping your head to the other side. Tears pricked your eyes and you tried your hardest to blink them away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of your pain.

“How proud you are…” The captain grumbled, tilting his head like he was studying you, his face pensive. “I can see why you and the swordsman would be so close. I just don’t know how you deal with his arrogance.”

“You know nothing about him–” Another slap caught you off guard, and you grunted out loud before biting your tongue. The captain raised his eyebrow at your attempt to keep quiet and started walking around the chair, circling you like a hawk.

“Trying to keep so silent, but in the end? You’ll be screaming anyway. And when you’re yelling out in pain…when I finally break you…when you’re looking for a name to curse – you can call me Silver Tooth.” His eyes held a sadistic look, his breath reeking from having not seen a toothbrush in years.

“Yea? I think I might call you ‘Hot Breath’ instead...do you mind taking a step back from me?” You looked up at him despite the pounding pain in your head. Your eyes were defiant, even though they felt like they would burst from your skull at any point, and it sent a shiver down his spine in excitement. 

But as much as he wanted to keep this game going, he had a ship to run.

His fist, with all of its heavy rings, collided with your temple, making you see spots in your vision.

“You know,” he sighed and walked over to the wall in front of you. “You only have him to blame for this.” Your head rolled around on your neck. “If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have to go through all this trouble.”

A bang on the wall caused you to jump, and you blinked back the blurriness, trying to see what he put on the wall as he moved back up the stairs. It…it looked like a Wanted poster.

“You’re simply a means to an end.”

Zoro’s Wanted Poster.

You woke up.

Actually woke up. Not forced awake from sudden agony.

Your eyes opened on their own to light streaming into the room through sheer curtains. The sound of waves crashing against the boat sounded how they should. It smelled familiar here. Like a campfire, some sort of plant lightly burning and wafting through the room, mixed with the salty ocean air coming through the open window. You closed your eyes to take it all in.

You couldn’t trust your brain. You couldn’t actually be home.

You just wanted to stay here forever.

You don’t want to wake up.

You don’t want to be in that room again.

“Oh! You’re awake!” A small, sweet voice called out. It made your eyes shoot back open, and you lifted your head (with some slight difficulty) to hear the hooves of your crewmate coming towards you. You saw his hat and antlers, then his face, as he crawled up onto the wooden chair next to the bed.

A feeling of disbelief washed over you.

“I’m…here?” Your voice was raw, scratchy. It sounded as if you hadn’t had water in days. Which might actually be true…

“...Yes? I am actually not sure how to answer that one!” His eyes looked at you curiously as he started to feel your face, trying to determine how hot you were. 

You wanted to ask if he was real, but hesitated. His touch felt real. And it was gentle. Something you hadn’t experienced in so long. But you still did not want to trust your brain yet, afraid that as soon as you got comfortable and allowed yourself to believe in it, he would appear to tear you apart again.

“You know, you’ve been out for a few days!” He exclaimed, turning in the chair to the small side table next to the bed that held a cup of water and a bowl of hot soup with a piece of bread on the side. “Sanji keeps coming by to see if you have eaten anything, and also to check to see if the food got cold! He said he wanted to make sure the first thing you ate when you woke up was his ‘good, hot food!’ His words, not mine!”

The tiny doctor rambled as he carefully grabbed the water cup, watching you cautiously as you winced when moving your arms to take it from him. He needed to see how badly moving around would be for you, and it seemed pretty rough just from a surface level.

He remembered when Sanji and Luffy brought you in from off that godforsaken boat. He was just about to come over, but they busted down his door before he could, your unconscious body dragging between them.

“What on earth happened?” Chopper yelled out, hurriedly making his way to the bed they were attentively putting you down on.

“We don’t know…but it’s way worse than any of us could have imagined.” Sanji stated, eyes not able to come off the plethora of bruises littering your face and arms, the blood both dried and fresh staining you. 

“Ch–...Chopper…please…do anything you can.” Chopper looked at Luffy in shock, never having heard this tone come from him before. Desperate.

He decided he didn’t like it.

“Days?” Your voice brought the doctor back to the present, the extended silence making you slightly uncomfortable. You sounded a little clearer now, having finished the water and handing him the glass back. You ignored the stinging at your lips as much as you could, the cuts and dryness reminding you they existed there.

“You were out for five days! I kept having to tell everyone that I could still hear your heartbeat.” He helped you sit up a bit more, but the aching in your body was so dreadful that you couldn’t help the tears that lined your eyes. You blinked them back quickly, hopeful that he hadn’t caught them. He handed over the bowl of soup to you and you started to spoon it quickly into your mouth, working through the soreness in your jaw.

“Woah, careful! You know you could eat yourself to death if you go too fast!” The doctor put his hoof on your hand in order to slow you down, and it took everything in you to not glare at him for keeping you from Sanji’s homemade soup. He is just trying to make sure you are okay.

A gentle knock rapped on the room’s door, and you heard Nami’s voice call from the other side as you sipped on the broth that warmed your chest.

“Chop? Is it okay to come in?”

“Is it okay?” He looked at you with his round eyes and you pursed your lips, bracing yourself, before nodding your approval.

“Come on in!”

The door opened to Nami’s concerned face that morphed into pure joy at the sight of you sitting up in the bed.

“You’re awake!” She rushed over to the bed and sat on the side of it. You chuckled at her enthusiasm, her eyes beaming at your face. 

One thing was for sure in her head. You looked way better than you did when she saw you after they rescued you. It wasn’t something she ever wanted to see again.

“How are you feeling? Any pain? Do you need me to help feed you? I can change your clothes for you if you need me to, I’ve been doing it the past few days and tried to be so careful not to hurt you.” She rambled on, completely worried about you, but it felt endearing to you, causing you to huff out another bit of laughter.

“I’m feeling better, thank you Nami. The clothes and this soup are helping my recovery, I’m sure.” You grabbed at her hand and squeezed it as much as your weak state could.

“Don’t let Sanji hear that, his head might grow ten sizes,” she giggled out. Your smile widened, despite the soreness in your cheeks and the cuts on your lips stinging something fierce. It felt right, sitting here and laughing along with her. This couldn’t be a dream. Maybe your brain wasn’t playing with you this time.

“So, you are awake.”

Your body goes rigid, face falling.

His black boots step in, followed by the swords. You stared down at the sheets covering you, unable to look anywhere else.

It was all a dream. It was all a dream. It was all a dream. It was all a dream. It was all a dream. It was all a dream. It–

“Hey, are you okay?” Nami’s hand lands on your arm. The sudden contact cracks something in your mind, and you throw the bowl and spoon in your hand at the wall in front of you with all the power you could muster in your aching limbs. The sudden movement and crashing shocked everyone, and Nami stood up from where she sat on the bed. Chopper jumped and looked from the shattered bowl to you.

Your eyes were trained on where Zoro stood in the middle of the room. He looked at you in your eyes, his wide with worry. He could only compare the sight of you to some sort of wounded animal, baring its teeth and ears poised up, ready to do whatever it took to stay alive. The same look he saw when you were on the boat.

“I am not going back.” Your voice was emotionless, cold, hard. It was something he hadn’t heard from you before. “I’m not FUCKING going BACK there.”

You started leaning forward as if you were planning to pounce on him. Nami watched as you prepared yourself to start attacking, and she put her hand up slowly in front of you, placing herself between you and Zoro.

“Hey, you’re not going back. Look at me, tell me what’s wrong.” She pleaded with you, but you moved your head to keep your eyes on the swordsman behind her, not letting him disappear. Not letting him take this from you.

“I’m not going back there, do you fucking hear me? Get the fuck out of here,” you pulled back the sheet covering your legs. It didn’t take Nami too long to figure out who the issue lied with here.

“Zoro, leave.” Nami commanded sternly, her sight not leaving you out of fear of what you may do if it did.

“I…I don’t understand, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” He begged for you to talk, but the most you did was grit your teeth and swing your legs off the bed, no matter how much your body screamed at you not to. “Talk to me. Please–!”

“ZORO,” Nami yelled, head finally turning to him quickly and her eyes serious. He looked from you to her, almost surprised at the look she gave him.

“Leave.”

Your body didn’t untense for another thirty minutes after he left. You couldn’t sleep that night until Chopper gave you a drink that knocked you out.

It had been almost a month now since you were rescued.

And you were going fucking stir-crazy.

The entire crew had made some sort of agreement that you were not allowed to leave the boat until you were somewhat more mentally stable.

The “mental stability” in question was determined based on if you could be in a room with Zoro for more than a minute. And you kept failing.

The first week and a half after Chopper deemed you to be steady enough to get around on your own – meaning that if you took two steps you wouldn’t collapse – was the worst of it.

At least once a day you would see the swordsman. It felt as if you blacked out. Your entire body went into this frenzy, every instinct in your body yelling at you to grab the nearest item and tear him apart with it. There had been a few times that week where your impulses got to the best of you, and you did attack. Luckily, he was skilled, and he could hold you off long enough until the others could drag you away.

Eventually, it became a bit better. Every time you two crossed paths – it wasn’t that large of a boat – you were able to halt yourself and ground your senses to keep from doing anything rash. However, bile would rise up in your throat, and you felt as though your body would betray you at any second. You would then turn around and go the opposite direction. 

It broke his heart.

Everything he had done to find you. The people he threatened and tore through to reach you. His... And when he did find you, he simultaneously felt a sense of relief, and his heart falling into the deepest pits of his stomach.

He wanted his partner back.

He needed you back.

Everyone on the crew saw it, no matter how hard he tried to mask his true emotions. They could feel it in his heavy sigh every time you walked away from him. They could see it in his eyes as he watched you hurriedly leave the kitchen with your dinner plate when he walked in. They could hear it in his heart breaking when he saw you flinch at every loud laugh from Luffy and every sudden movement from Usopp.

But you couldn’t get past the fear trapped in your head. Past Silver Tooth’s voice that would whisper in your ear late at night when everything was so still, so quiet that even the gentle waves lapping against the boat couldn’t be heard.

“You’ll never leave here.”

You took a deep sigh and tried to determine if you wanted to re-count all of the cracks in the ceiling again. But you might actually commit a true murder if you did, so you chose a different route of getting out of your bed, putting on a robe and some slippers, and heading out of your room to get air.

Out on the deck, you looked over the side of the boat down towards the water. Being so close to it now, it lowered the menacing voice echoing in your head, but didn’t kill it entirely. Why won’t it just stop? 

It started to feel so overwhelming. Your crew danced around you carefully, unsure if they would say something that might cause you to snap. Treating you like porcelain. You weren’t getting enough sleep, you were overeating out of fear of being starved again, and you couldn’t look at the man who knew your entire soul without feeling like you were going to completely break down.

Suffocating. It felt like you were suffocating. Like Silver Tooth was holding your head under the water you watched splash up against the hull and laughing at you.

Even in death, he had his foot on the back of your neck.

“Hey,” A gently voice came from behind you, and you quickly whipped around to see Robin. “What are you doing up and out here?”

“I could ask you the same,” you smiled gently, trying to not worry her and steer the conversation away from you and your reasons. She returned the smile back.

“There is supposed to be a light show in the sky here soon and I wanted to catch it. Mind if I join you?” She gave you an out – a way to (kindly) tell her to go away. But thinking about it for a moment, you realized that maybe this is what you needed; someone to be here with you so you were not alone with your thoughts. You nodded.

She came over to stand next to you, leaning against the railing while your eyes shifted over the ocean in front of you. You could hear her calm breathing and waited for her to start questioning you. It only made sense – you had been completely out of character since you were rescued. Everyone on the crew wanted to talk to you to figure it out and help, Zoro most of all, but none had gotten the chance (or possibly the courage) to bring it up.

However, she didn’t say a word. For fifteen minutes straight, you two stayed at your spots next to the ship railing, watching the sky for the “light show” she had mentioned. Part of you was thankful, not wanting to think too much into your time on the other ship. But the more you anticipated her bringing it up, the more you did think about it. And that led to a building feeling of pressure in your chest and in your throat, until you didn’t think you could do it anymore.

“Every night I close my eyes, I'm back there.” You stated it at the hour and a half mark. Robin’s head turned towards you slightly, watching your face.

“And…I’m staring at his poster. Zor–...Just fucking praying to it.” You huffed out a laugh. “I can’t even remember the last time I stepped foot in a place of worship. But there I was, watching his poster like it would give me all the answers.”

You looked down at your hands slowly starting to pick at the skin around your nail beds.

“Fuck, sorry…I’m unloading and you’re just trying to watch your stars…” You turned your body back away from Robin and started to think that maybe you should just go lie down in your bed and wait till morning, until you hear the smallest giggle.

“I may or may not have lied about that. I apologize, but I wanted to make sure you weren’t alone.” You quickly turned back around to see the woman giving a slight smile, the right corner of her lips tipping up. She slowly and gently reached her arm out so as to not startle you, and placed her hand on one of your shoulders. “After what you have gone through, you shouldn’t feel alone ever again.”

You were frozen in place, unable to think of the proper words you wanted to say to express your gratitude towards her. You simply watched as she patted your shoulder a few times and then turned back towards the water, watching out at the ripples.

“I wasn’t expecting you to talk at all, honestly. I just wanted to make sure that if you did want to say something, you had someone there to listen at the very least. And I deeply appreciate that you felt safe enough to talk with me.” She finished, finding particular interest in a small bug that moved along the rail along the edge of the deck.

You sighed, ran a hand down your face and turned back to face the same currents she saw.

“I guess I just haven’t given myself the room to talk about everything that happened,” you admitted, and paused to think, Robin’s eyes still locked in on the sea. “But I think a part of me is terrified that I will have to relive everything again and again and again or that I will talk about all of it but then be back in that same goddamn room with all of Zoro’s posters hanging around.”

You felt the water drop on your hand before you felt them on your cheeks. You lifted a hand to quickly wipe them away, not feeling like losing yourself entirely right at this moment. You would prefer to do that by yourself, away from your crew.

“The last day I was there…when everyone found me…Silver Tooth came down and told me something that I think I am slowly starting to understand. ‘You’ll never leave here.’” You let out a shaky breath voice cracking. “Robin, I don’t think I left that room. Yes, you took me from the ship, but my mind…a large piece of me is still in that room. And I don’t know what to do.”

A silence enclosed the two of you within its grasp, allowing you both to absorb the words you spoke into the space. Robin’s heart ached for you, wishing she could just rewind time to save you from the consequences of their inattention towards you during that fight, right before you were taken away.

She then grabbed your hand that was resting on the rail, holding it tightly, and making your heart clench up.

“You may be free physically, but until you beat him, you will never be gone from that place,” she sighed, turning her head to look at you. “What that looks like may be different to me and you. It’s little steps. But saying something, talking to someone…that’s a great place to start.” She squeezed your hand as the tears welled in your eyes yet again.

This was written by @/ro-written and is not to be plagiarized, translated, or distributed anywhere else. Copyright 2024.

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