#Mind Land Wildlife Area

[kyumisyumi]

Tentacles and Tendrils

Shaking off the rust and giving monster smut(writing in general) a shot again.

Prompt: monster partner is in rut/heat and the partner has to deal with it

Rating: 18+

Monster type: M!Merfolk x F!Reader

Word count: 6k

~Taking requests~

     You stare out at the unending, blue horizon. The cool ocean breeze preparing you for the temperatures of its water as you linger along the edge. You wore the company certified diving gear: a wetsuit, mask, BCD, the works. A spear weighed down one hand while a cylindrical container weighed on your shoulder. Hope and pessimism fought to be at the forefront of your mind as you scan the empty waters with heavy disappointment. This area was always relatively vacant, but not too far off you can spot a duo entering the water with matching gear. Their actions take you out of your haze, and with another gauge check you finally approach the water. Getting a feel for the sea's surge, you make your way in. And with practiced hands you slipped on your fins before turning to greet the seas with outstretched arms.

     Beneath the blue your body instantly goes into autopilot. Swimming was as natural as walking and these seas might as well have been a second home; a wayward beauty that will switch it's mood at a moments notice but home nonetheless. You took it all in, familiar as it may be, the ocean never stopped being a sight to behold. A world beneath our own full of wonderful blues, outstretched greens and terrifying blacks. The current had a bit of force behind it but nothing near the cruelty you knew any large body of water could deal. Your darting eyes couldn't help but search around, scanning everywhere for even just a hint of... There! You moved with haste. As much as you could as a land dwelling animal in aquatic terrain. You didn't get far before the shape you eagerly chased revealed itself to be just a particularly thick and unruly swatch of seaweed. You sigh internally before resolving to begin your original task.

     Nearing a gorgeous station of coral, you couldn't help but linger and watch the busyness. Schools of varicolored, itty bitty fish swimming through the equally colorful pseudo-flora. Despite your love for marine life, you never quite learnt the names of all the little guys much less how to differentiate between them, say for a handful that stick out. Your interest was usually for the larger lifeforms mother nature had to offer; you smiled as you watched a wary grey eel eye you with suspicion. Soon your eyes fell upon your reason for being here. It's bright red colors were slightly muted by the depths, with white tiger stripes outlined by black to break up the pattern. Its form was lined with spines and frills that flowed and fluttered with each graceful swish of it's body; an absolutely gorgeous creature. You readied your spear. The black strap trigger pressed into your skin as you carefully aimed, hoping not to hit anything but the target. It helped that the lionfish lingered in one spot before you speared it. You moved to put it in the container before opting to offer it to the eel you saw earlier. As gorgeous - and delicious - as they were, these guys were invasive here and the effects of their persistence was a constant strain to the native wildlife. They seemed highly concentrated around this sandy patch of substrate, driftwood and dead coral. It didn't take long after the first few kills for one of your friends to make their way over. Gently, you caressed the top of the nurse shark eyeing your spare eagerly, this one you named Lisa... or maybe it was Madeline. It was no surprise your face blindness extended to animals as well, even the cute ones that made your dives feel a little less lonely. The creature began gliding and swirling around you. You liked to believe the fondness was mutual but it was equally likely they were just in it for a meal. You speared another lionfish and offered it to the grey and white cutie.

     The spot you were in. The shark. The scenario. It brought back the memory of the first time you saw him.

     Back then you were collecting lionfish, same as now with a duo of nurse sharks tailing your every movement. At the time you were overly cautious, so you'd sit in one place, removing the venomous spines of the fish before handing them over. You could see him out of the corner of your eye, he'd been there for quite a while, watching you. From his position partially behind the rocks, you'd think he was hiding -or rather, on the defensive- but you just can't imagine something that big and powerful hiding from tiny 'ol you. Yes you had a spear but you doubt it would do you much good if he decided to attack. Merfolk. Given your job at the Aquatic Wildlife Center you were relatively familiar with them. Your company was more than welcoming when programs were made for them- as well as the other species- who showed interest in coexisting during the realm migration. The Merfolk you were familiar with, however, had to undergo numerous lessons on etiquette and culture to live among humans. The one near you now... The word 'feral' came to mind. You didn't quite like using such an animalistic term towards something that looked a little too human, someone that you knew had equivalent intelligence. His skin was primarily muted greens with a burst of parchment white down his chest and undersides of his arms. Unlike the fish tails merfolk were known for, this one's body ended in a myriad of tentacles, not unlike an octopus. Height wasn't exactly something you could measure but in terms of body mass he was more than twice your own. He seemed to tense any time you held direct eye contact so you settled on keeping him in your peripheral and keeping your movements slow and measured. You're not sure what he wanted but if he was content to just watch you, you didn't mind.

     The next time you went out for a dive he'd made another appearance, this time resting on the rocks instead of behind them. Looking at the way his tentacles gently swayed against the current, you realise the way they'd writhed restlessly the day before may have been a sign of anxiety. It tickled you that somehow, in his mind, you were a threat to be worried about. You'd never even been in a proper fight. His relaxed demeanor gave you a bit of courage and you contemplated offering him one of the lionfish but ultimately chose not to. Doing so would feel as though you were treating him like an animal at the petting zoo. Then again, he was watching you like an animal at a regular zoo, keeping his distance as if he thought you'd lash out at any opportunity. You focused on the task at hand. Either the sharks had developed more patience or they were full from yesterday, this time they seemed more interested in dawdling around and getting pets than playing Russian roulette with your spear. You'd gotten into a rhythm of pull, aim, release as you moved slowly across the sandy substrate with him never too far behind.

     On the third day he was almost as close as the sharks were. There was still a respectful distance but you'd only have to reach out your hand to touch him. Despite your determination to hold strong as he approached there was a hint of fear in your eyes when he first got closer. He wasn't threatening but the size difference was all to blatant up close, his chest so broad and arms so thick you didn't doubt they could snap you in half like an oatmeal cookie. In response he seemed to try to make himself look smaller, drifting at a lower level so that his head wasn't much higher than yours. This gave you a good look at his features, he had round pupils unlike the rectangular slits you associated with octopi, his sclera was a light grey and his irises a saffron yellow on downturned eyes. He didn't seem to have any patchwork of iridescent scales like your work colleagues. His eyes aside, everything about his face was sharp, from the hooked nose to the prominent chin and brow bone. As curious as you were, you tried not to look any lower than the slits along his neck; gills, in case your gaze made him uncomfortable. You briefly wondered if he'd try to say something once he got closer but he didn't, he just looked back with a gesture you interpreted as 'continue'. So you did.

There actually weren't anymore lionfish nearby so you decided to take a moment to clip the spines of the one on your spear, hoping to feed it to Joel the eel... or maybe this was Geoffrey. He took this lull in your movement as an opportunity to interact. You stared wide eyed as his hands reached out. It looked as though he was going to reach for your spear but thought better of it and reached out for your free hand instead. He took your smaller hand into his much larger ones. He inspected each finger, pulling them apart and tracing the curve in between, where his held a thin membrane. He ran a thumb over your blunt nails, where his held thick black claw. His movements were slow - cautious - and you get the feeling that it was more for your benefit than his. Wary as you were, you were equally enthused to learn more of the  man... fish... octopus being before you.  He inspected the sleeve of your wetsuit, running his fingers over the material. When it seemed like he was going to pinch the fabric between two claws you tugged your hand away, shaking your head in hopes the gesture was universal. Thankfully he understood. He then circled you to take in the rest of your form, a possible sign he understood touching anywhere else on your body might be unwelcomed. 

Unsurprisingly, he took particular interest in your legs, watching the way they swayed to keep you afloat. He didn't touch you yet you somehow felt pressure over every inch his eyes laid upon. Was this how your coworker felt during those awkward introductory meetings where there would always be one person asking to touch their fins. The memory made you giggle and the merman suddenly shifted his focus from your legs to your face. Your breath caught as his eyes focused on yours, it was mesmerizing how they looked as fluid as the ocean; the colors swaying as the black center zeroed in on you. For a moment you wondered what did you look like through those eyes. He raised a hand to rest his knuckles against your cheek. His gaze then lowered to your lips. Your body -so ready to flee when he first approached- now froze. No matter how much you tried to reinforce that his actions were of innocent curiosity you couldn't stop thinking they weren't. Or maybe you just hoped they weren't. Oh dear. Before you could figure out where your head was at, he pressed a thumb against your lips. There was a subtle shift in his features as he stared at you intently. A question? Was he asking to kiss you? Your heart sprinted. He wanted to kiss you... and you- you were actually considering it. You must be insane; yes you thought he was gorgeous in a unnatural -captivating- way but you weren't going to kiss a creature you haven't known for more than a few hours. You hadn't even exchanged words with him. Words... Oh! That was it! You would've face palmed  if your hands weren't occupied. He wished to speak, and prior knowledge reminded you that merfolk could adapt a language through lip contact. Well, that cleared your brain a bit. If that's the case surely you could spare your lips for a moment. It wouldn't have to be long, just the slightest peck was enough. A fraction of a second. He was patiently awaiting your answer, somewhat pulling back as if to tell you 'no' was a more than acceptable answer. With a tad more hesitation you finally nodded. You pulled out your mouth pieces, angling it downwards to prevent excess air loss. Trying to show some initiative you moved closer but you just couldn't bring yourself to close the kiss. Graciously he did and your lips met. Your rushing blood brought heat straight to your cheeks. It was such a minute amount of contact but your body responded as if he was already tongue deep inside. You felt... something. Like faint streams of electricity that moved from the corners of your lips to the center before vanishing. You figured it was the magic at work, now would be the time to move away but your body and brain can't seem to get on the same page. Or maybe they were on the same page and the voice telling you to move away was something foreign, something unwanted. You opened your eyes to see his, half lidded but looking at you with an intensity that couldn't be misconstrued. Neither of you wanted to break the contact. You're not sure where the confidence came from but just as you moved to press closer to him, your lungs reminded you where you were. They called for oxygen. It took more effort than you would like to admit to pull away from him and return your regulator to your mouth. You looked back at him to see his fingers pressed against his mouth, eyes swirling with mixed emotions. Maybe it was your eyes playing tricks on you but you swear he licked his lips. His adam's apple bobbed in his throat and he moved his lips as if testing the motions.

     "Can you understand me?"

     You nodded in the affirmative. And by Gods, the smile on his face could outshine the sun on a clear summer morning.

     This opened up the pathway to your budding friendship. Underwater, you couldn't have full conversations but with the barrage of questions he had there was hardly a need to speak. It especially amused you that he had to confirm that you were indeed human. Do humans walk everywhere? Do we forms pods? Do we dream? Do humans fly was a weird one to answer under the limitations. It was an eye opener to the fact that you were as alien to him as he you.

     At some point you remembered that you were on a timer and though there wasn't really a quota, resurfacing with only four lionfish would definitely not look good for you. You went back to spearing, trying to be quick while he asked about this and that. It only got better when you finally resurfaced. You perched on the old abandoned dock, it was barely more than a couple planks of wood hanging on for dear life. You were especially glad that this area remained as vacant as when you left so you didn't have to worry about worried/wondering gazes at the two of you.

     Unfortunately diving was only something you could do 2 maybe 3 times a week, it was essentially a freebie session offered to break up the office work you dread. Still, even after you clocked out, you'd take a stroll to that same dock where he'd be waiting beneath the surface. You learnt that, though most merfolk would declare otherwise, his species wasn't rare. Just distant and reclusive. The only reason he was close enough to the shore to spot me was because he seeked a precious stone to complete a trade. Based on his description you believed it was Larimar or Blue calcite, which you may have in your personal collection. When you asked why he decided to approach you, his answer was a sideways glance and a shrug before quickly changing the subject. There were moments, you noticed, when he'd rest his arms along the wooden planks and caress your overhanging legs. The movements were slow and feather light, almost absent minded. It made your mind fuzzy, you wished to just close your eyes and focus on nothing but the feel of his skin against yours. Occasionally, he would gently rake a claw over your soft skin and you'd try your best not to trip over your words. In return, you'd run your fingers over the mix of tentacles and tendrils that sprouted from his head- similar to hair. The prehensile limbs would wrap around your fingers. The gestures were unmistakably intimate but neither of you spoke against it. Amongst the many questions and conversations would be these moments of content silence, these you treasured most. His hands on you, your hands on his, as you both enjoyed the world around you and each other.

     Now those memories fill you with a hollow feeling in your chest. It's been almost a week with no sign of him. What had you expected, really? He has a life down below that he has to attend to after all. Even you have missed a day or two. What if he's hurt? The question gnawed at you many times these past few days; you despised the small part of you that preferred that outcome over having been left behind. But then the idea that somewhere down there he was facing unknown perils that you'd have no means to help him with would solidify in your mind. No, you'd rather the hurt of having been abandoned. Summoning your mental fortitude, you aimed to focus on the task at hand before you accidentally harm one of the sharks by being distracted. There was a new face this time... at least you thought they were new. They nuzzled your body as if sensing your distress and to your delight; it helped

     Seconds dragged into minutes then hours before it was time for you to get out. You wished you could say you were strong enough to just go but instead you swam around for a bit; hoping. Praying. But there was nothing around except you, the water and your pitiful heartache.

     Above land you safely shed the equipment. The smart thing to do would be to go home as soon as possible. To finish your day, change your clothes and curl up in blankets while playing some video games. However, you've always been a creature of habit so instead you sat at the old dock. Alone. The sun was so warm but the winds were relentless, they licked at your skin as if trying to shoo you away. Maybe this was Poseidon's way of telling you to get over it. It's not like there was anything between the two of you. You'd only known him for a handful of weeks after all, that's barely enough time to form a friendship much less... As if shutting down the thought, your brain replayed a memory of him pressing his face against the palm of your hand with pure bliss etched into his features. As if your touch alone could push away all his problems. Then there was the time you touched your forehead to his during a momentary spur of boldness. The look he gave you spoke so loud in the silence. You would've kissed him then if not for your shyness winning  out. That was one of the last moments you'd shared before his disappearance. A treasure in your heart that now caused you pain. Packing up your things, you got up to leave, however something clutched your ankle. Something, rather, someone you recognized all too well.

     You gasped violently as you were dragged down. Thank goodness you did because it was all the air you'd get to take with you in your rapid decent below. He shifted so instead of being pulled by his tentacles, you were fastened to his side by a firm arm. He stared straight forward as he swam, allowing you only to see the tendrils whipping around the back of his head. You could hardly process how fast you were going down the bottomless blue. The water shifted from a bright, comfortimg azure to ultramarine as you went deeper and deeper. Your panic rose the further he swam, which did your lungs no good. Was he trying to drown you!? You couldn't call out, couldn't scream so you tugged and pulled at his thick, unyielding arm, trying desperately to get him to stop. He turned to you then, there was a look of pained and haunted thoughts scribed into his face. The lovely grey of his sclera had darkened into a soulless black making the yellows of his eyes that more vibrant, almost glowing in the waters inky depth. The word 'feral' again came to mind as he blinked his second eyelids. He looked at you and looked at you and looked even more. As though his eyes processed one thing but his brain was stuck on something else. It took a moment but he finally said your name. Not said, growled it. His usually velvety deep voice was now strained through gravel. He pulled you closer to him and buried his face in your hair, your heart would be fluttering were it not currently banging in your chest wondering where the hell was the oxygen it ordered. You tried, you really did, to struggle against his hold. Hoping he'd wake up from whatever spell he was under and bring you back to solid ground. Hell, you'd make an attempt to swim for it, knowing how futile it would be. But once his long tongue was on your throat you became putty in his arms. You feel three distinct fingers rake against the other side of your neck as he nipped at you. You can't tell if your breath hitched or your lungs made another vain attempt to reach for air. You raised a trembling hand, trying to alert him to your situation but he seemed solely focused on tasting your skin.

     "Breathe." He spoke in-between licks, his tongue venturing down to your clavicle, and you wondered if he'd actually gone mad. His hooded eyes met yours and he repeated the word.

     It didn't matter anymore, the choice was no longer yours. You had held onto that final breath for dear life but it was time for that life to come to an end. A stream of bubbles left your horrified lips as you now fought not to breath in; that was a far shorter battle. You inhaled, preparing for the sting of water invading your airways in it's rush to your desperate lungs. For your body to heave and cough as the waters reminded you you were not it's friend but a guest who had overstayed their welcome. Would your body float up to be picked at by birds or sink to be fodder for the sea floor scavengers? You waited and waited. But... It never came. You, somehow, were breathing air. Opening your eyes in confusion, you looked around to see if you were suddenly back on land, if all this was some dream or hallucination spurred on by your guilt and heartbreak but no. You were still surrounded by the open seas and all it's inhabitants. Your breaths felt slightly strained but you weren't going to complain about life saving miracles. Especially when a giant tentacled man was tracing his finger down your spine. Now that your life was no longer at risk(mostly) you calmly rest your palm against his head, trying again to get answers out of him. He stilled, dissolving into your touch as he had many times before. You saw a bit of clarity in his eyes before he closed them.

     "I'm sorry." He said after a moment, his voice was lustful and strained, like a warning sign dipped in want and desire. "It started; my heat. I tried to stay as far away as I could but when all sense had escaped my mind the only thing left were thoughts of you." He pulled you closer, his eyes remained closed as if one look at you would break the little control he had. "I thought I had overcome it when I began searching for... Methods for you to survive beneath the waters. But the moment I had my answers it overtook me. It possessed me. It still does. I want you...desperately but only if you'll have me."

     You listened to his words, in confusion then understanding. Then you actually understood! Oh! Suddenly your body had forgotten all it's woes, focusing on your core instead. He wanted you. You bit your lip in thought, noticing that the water couldn't pass some unseen threshold of your mouth. You wanted him, you couldn't even pretend to deny that but... Was there a 'but'? You searched your tainted mind for excuses but your brain and your body were again in unison, the only outlier was you. You slid your hand up his face and caressed a cranial tendril, he opened his eyes and you felt his body vibrate. Purring.

     You didn't have the courage to look him in the eye when you spoke. "I will." You consented.

     He was on you instantly. His lips crashed into yours with reckless need. There was no slow build up, no questioning nor tentative tongue touches. His tongue snaked pass your lips and devoured you in kind. His large hands ran down either sides of your body, meeting when they both grabbed at your ass. There they lingered, kneading your flesh through the stretchy materiel, before one devious hand ventured even lower. You felt him slide a finger along the fabric covering your sex. Back and forth, his finger glided creating a nice little friction that almost touched your eager clit. Your hips moved on their own, seeking the contact. You craved more of his touch and suddenly the thin, synthetic rubber was a dense barrier. As if hearing your thoughts, there was the slightest pinch against the crook of your behind before a sudden coldness seeped in. You could feel him carefully swipe his claw to just above your clit, creating a opening in the fabric. The new sensation of cold wetness against you warm sex made you gasp but it was soon replaced by the warmth of his... hand? No, the texture was far different. Before you had a chance to investigate, the feeling of suction against your clit gave you all the answers you needed. Something between a gasp and a moan left your lips, the sound must've pleased him greatly because he tore himself away from your mouth to look into your eyes. The limb covered your whole sex, with the tip lightly teasing your entrance but it was that one suction cup upon your clit that was really putting in the work. It took a rhythm that was brain meltingly pleasant against the sensitive bud, thoroughly teased by his phantom touches prior. A sudden surge of pleasure began to build causing you to reflexively try to squeeze your thighs together. However, the  action was impeded by two tentacles quickly wrapping around your legs to keep them parted. They squeezed as if to reaffirm their hold on you. He took your chin in his hand and watched you intensely as you came undone from the stimulation. His grip was light but unyielding when you tried to turn away. Closing your eyes would lead to him stopping completely until they fluttered open again to meet his. He would take in every dip in your throat, every curve in your lips, every crease beneath your eyes and flush upon your cheeks. He wouldn't miss a moment of your first orgasm at his hands. His gaze was dizzying, as if whatever possessed him was now reaching out for you.  Having him inspect you with such cold fondness only made the experience that more salacious. The rising tide of pleasure finally crashed and you were left a buzzing, panting mess. With a look of gratification he released your chin, wrapping his arms around you once more to knit your body to his.

     "You're so beautiful." He cooed before trailing off into words of his own language.

     You didn't get a moment to say anything back before you felt something probe against your opening. One of his tentacles slid inside you fully, welcomed and aided by the slick lube of your still pulsing walls. You shuddered in his arms, thankful for the support. It was a comfortable fit and suddenly you're reminded that it's been ages since anyone has had you like this. It made the experience slightly more alien atop the fact that you were being intimate with a lust driven sea-beast. Rather than the expected thrusting, the appendage grazed along your insides. It twisted and pushed as if getting a feel for you, learning you before pulling back out. The sudden emptiness made you whimper, you looked at him, ready to beg if need be but it didn't come to that. You felt your entrance being prodded again. It was the familiar tip of a tentacle, ready to enter you once more. However, the more it pushed, the wider it got; so very much wider. And Gods, it held a bumpy texture that was absent before. Just as your mind went hazy you realised it was two of them, wrapped around each other. It finally gave you the thrusting motion you desired, it's ribbed texture grazing parts of you that remained untouched for too long. Your movements were limited but you attempted to grind against each wonderful thrust, moaning your delight with feather light whispers. This was all too good, soft and pliable enough that it writhed inside you but firm enough to press against your hungry womb.

Despite all senses seemingly being focused on your trembling hole you felt something press against your stomach, forcing it's way into the tiny space between your body and his. You peek downward to see the spearheaded tip of what you assumed was his cock. Suddenly, his preparation of your cunt made sense, you'd expected him to be big but geez. It was identical in color to his body, darkening at the tip in a similar fashion to his fingers. It throbbed and twitched as he began to grind against you. Even with two tentacles stretching your insides, your greedy eyes craved the feel of it. Craved the connection to him. You reached down and grasped it at the base, shock almost pulling you out of your haze when it wrapped around your hand. It tightened as if begging for more of your touch. You acquiesced and began running you hands up and down his massive length, taking great pleasure in the way his body vibrated with resonating groans. His thrusts inside you growing wilder, taking you further and further and you were determined to take him with you. His voice held a softer, pleading tone as it goaded you on, praising you between strained hisses. His cock swelled and hardened, his words devolving into senseless mumbles. The limbs inside you became more erratic as his pleasure grew. His grip on your body tightening to the point of leaving small tears in your suit and nicks in your skin. He released a long animalistic huff as he coated your arm in slimy white fluid, your body responded by coating his tentacles with your own. You rest your head against his chest, moving in time with his heavy breaths, counting them as you both recovered. You're not sure when he began moving you but suddenly you were face to face. He kissed you. Slowly. Gently. Tasting and savoring you.

     "Do you think you could take me, my treasure, or do I need to stretch that greedy hole of yours even more?" He asked between kisses.

     Words were beyond your tired brain so you just nodded. As spent as your body was, this moment would not feel complete until he was inside you. Slowly, as if moving you too much too quickly could break you, he turned you around so that your back was pressed against his chest. He snaked his hands around you -he really did seem to love having his arms on you-, one hand moving to grope your breast while the other traced a line down your stomach to caress your mound. You feel his lower half angle itself to bring his leaking member to your slick opening. Oh so slowly you feel him slide into you, spreading you wider with each inch. You couldn't help but try to squirm against him but his hands held you steady. He was only half way in when your body began to show resistance. He started pulling out slowly and thrusting into you, getting a little bit further each time.

     "You're being so good for me." He whispered just above your ear, his voice held a lovely cadence. Singsong; as if haunted by a melody that compelled his body to move.

     You couldn't hear it but you felt it, it rang through your body with each sway of your hips and out your lips with each whine. Down to the way he held you, like an instrument to be adored. Every moan a crescendo and every voice stopping bite at your neck a diminuendo. He was playing you and you were loving every moment of it. In and out, in and out like he was timing bars on sheet music. That was up until the flat, tapered tip hit the deepest part of you; he'd hilted. Then everything stopped. Fermata. You're only warning for what was to come were the tentacles that slithered around your legs to ground you. You hardly even felt him pull out, just the force as he thrust fully into you. The sound that left your mouth was a guttural whine of shock and pain. He kept going.  Slamming. Pounding. Taking your body over and over. It hurt and yet you desired more. He fucked you like he was craving this moment his whole life. Your body eased and the pain slowly dissolved into pleasure, never quite leaving but become something more. Something better. Something wholy obscene. Your body was an inferno in the cold, dark water. Pleasure overtook you; you no longer felt like a person, just a mass of emotions and senses. You could hear his grunts and growls behind you, the sounds he made were truly animalistic. Wild. Primal. Savage. As though he couldn't fathom being anything but a creature of vulgarity. Couldn't fathom doing anything but driving himself into you. Desired nothing more in the world than to fill the emptiest parts of you. Your walls tightened around him, as if intending to learn every bulge and vein of his cock. Pulling and sucking him in with no desire to let him go, that was where all your strength went. You felt the recognizable build of another orgasm and judging by way his pliable member was now a hardened monolith, he wasn't far off.  He no longer needed to lead, you danced with him as you both came together. His seed seeped out of him, filling every bit of (nonexistent)space inside of you before oozing out. He continued to thrust, making sure you milked his cock for everything he had. It's throbbing was like a heartbeat inside you.

     You collapsed against him, laying your head flat against his chest, your cheek barely touching the flesh above his heart. After a moment you looked up to see him already staring down at you, the affection in his eyes fueled your already thrumming heart. A moment of tenderness as the tainted waters surrounding you both whisked your indecencies away.  His sclera lightened to their usual soft grey. An eagerness popped up on his face as he seemingly wanted to ask you something then but thought better of it. A somber look taking over his features instead. Using what little strength remained in your body, you turned fully to him. He immediately took your head in both his hands and rest his forehead against yours.

     "I- Did i hurt you?"

     "Did-" You gave him a droll look. "Did you hurt me??" You flicked his head. Well, you tried but there was less than no force behind your fingers. "Of course you did. Lucky for you I enjoyed it."

     "I'm so sorry, I'll be gentler next time." He sounded genuinely apologetic. "If you would allow for a 'next time'."

     "There better be."

     "And a time after that?"

     "Don't push your luck, ocean boy."

     You felt him smile against you. It may have been an innocent one but you couldn't help but wonder if he was already plotting.

     He took you above land after that and you thanked the Gods above that your towel and pack was still waiting for you. At least you could walk(limp) to the company building without catching a charge for indecent exposure. He watched you from his usual spot on the dock. His downturned eyes hooded by his lashes had him looking like a distraught child watching their best friend board a plane to unknown lands. Did he think he scared you away? That you'd never return? Maybe as a bit of revenge you'd let him believe it.

((You also had to deal with the urge to sink into the floor at the knowing and amused looks on your merfolk coworker's face every time they saw the marks on your neck D:))

[anipgarden]

Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants

This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 

Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!

Provide a Water Source

Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!

There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times. 

I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!

Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.

If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.

Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.

Bird Feeders and Bird Houses

Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!

An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!

Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own! 

Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!

Solitary Bee Houses

A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.

Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!

Providing Nesting Area

There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success. 

Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods

Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water. 

Bat Houses and Boxes

Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.

Provide Passageway Points

If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through. 

In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick. 

Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles

I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.

So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.

If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.

Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

[igbylicious]

bound [hongjoong x seonghwa]

pairing: necromancer hongjoong x revenant seonghwa

rating: 18+

genre: darkfic, smut, angst, fantasy

summary: Seonghwa will die for Hongjoong, over and over again, and he pretends it means something every time his master brings him back.

wc: 3.4k

warnings: dom Hongjoong, sub Seonghwa, oral; 69, face-fucking, rough sex, choking on cock, cum swallowing, temperature play (sortof), toxic relationship; Seonghwa’s soul is contractually bound to Hongjoong, violence, blood & injury, resurrection; Seonghwa dies but he gets better

a/n: idk if i’d call these doves dead but they def ain’t the pinnacle of health ^^;; pls mind the warnings!

Seonghwa might die for Hongjoong today.

It won’t be the first time he has died, and it won’t be the last. He can live with that.

There are a lot of things that Seonghwa can live with, or so he’s discovered ever since he signed this contract. He can live with blood on his hands; he can live with the uncertainty of whether that blood is innocent.

He only cannot live without Hongjoong.

“Well done, pet.” His master’s voice is delicate today, a soft purr that never fails to make him shiver. Hongjoong reaches a cool hand to cup Seonghwa’s blood-splattered cheek, tainting his fingers with spilled life. “Hold the rest of them off while I finish the ritual, won’t you?”

“Yes, Master.”

“My brave obedient wardog,” Hongjoong either praises or mocks him — Seonghwa is never sure — and he presses his cold lips against Seonghwa’s warm mouth in a shallow kiss. Sometimes Seonghwa wonders which one of them is more alive.

Hongjoong’s intoxicating scent wraps around Seonghwa and he bites back a whine as a clever tongue briefly teases against his lips; but Hongjoong is gone before Seonghwa can lose himself in the kiss. His master turns away with a billow of his heavy fur cloak, snow crunching underneath his leather boots as he makes his way to the ancient stone altar site.

The fresh body of a careless scout lies on the dais, limbs contorted and flesh ripped. Dragged here after Seonghwa had disposed of him; an easy lonely target who wandered too deeply into Hongjoong’s net. The scout’s lack of caution volunteered him for one of Hongjoong’s aberrant ceremonials, ensuring he will never report back to the hunting party that follows behind.

Hongjoong bends down next to the body and runs a gentle hand across the torn skin, and jealousy pierces through Seonghwa like a fiery hot blade. He tries to shake it off, reminding himself there is no cause for envy. His master holds no contract with this miserable scout; no soul will be pulled from the wretched remains that Hongjoong is about to lay his hands on. This unremarkable corpse is nothing like Seonghwa.

No one else is like him.

He is special.

He does not know why Hongjoong choose Seonghwa’s body and soul to bind with his. Seonghwa is a gifted warrior, but so are countless others. He was desperate when Hongjoong found him — but who isn’t, in this war-stricken land? Out of an overabundance of choice, Hongjoong still picked him.

That means something. It has to.

Otherwise, none of this means anything at all.

Seonghwa focuses himself back to his task, extending out his awareness to the forest around him. Heightened senses are one of the benefits to his contract; his revived body finely attuned to the world. Death has brought him closer to life, so Hongjoong likes to say.

Seonghwa closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and makes note of every sign of life in this otherwise dead forest. Ever since his master made this place his ritual site, wildlife has long fled the area. Driven off by the slow petrification of thickets and flowers, drained of their vitality. And as Hongjoong’s circle of corruption expands, any living thing here is threatened by the same fate.

Except for Seonghwa. Seonghwa thrives.

Just as his master feeds on life, Seonghwa feeds on him; and Hongjoong always provides him a rich meal.

It does not take long for the hunting party to skitter into the edges of Seonghwa’s eyesight, though he sensed their imminent arrival long ago. They have not split up, tactics abandoned by the blind faith in their superior numbers. It is their first mistake.

They close in on Seonghwa, believing him to be the true threat to eliminate; their second mistake.

Hongjoong is the true threat, and Seonghwa is nothing but his fierce guard dog.

He protects his master not only with his body and sword, but by concealing him in the shadows of Seonghwa’s reputation. He covets anonymity, and so Seonghwa eagerly feeds into the horrid myths of a black-clad warrior of otherworldly beauty. By now, there is not a single soul in the land who has not heard of the infamous Black Repose.

Even his attire is deliberately imposing. Black leather covers him from neck to toe, stitched with intricate golden patterns that flatter the elegant lines of his body. His head is left unprotected; exposing the coldness of his dark eyes to his enemies. The delicate, icy beauty of his face is framed by long strands of black hair, slightly curled by melted snow.

He holds up a heavy long sword in his hand, the double-edged blade resting across the back of his shoulders as he waits for his prey to trap itself. Darkened steel flashes in muted sunlight as he slowly moves into position, putting himself between Hongjoong and the soon-to-be-dead.

The first hunter to gather his courage goes for Seonghwa’s unhelmeted head. They always do.

It never works.

Blade clangs against blade in the petrified forest, and Seonghwa is unleashed. He deflects the blow easily, his face contorting in fury as he lets out a rage-filled shout and goes on the offence. Soon the clearing is filled with violent chaos, with Seonghwa at its centre. Steel connects with steel over and over again — until steel finally connects with flesh.

His blade bites deep into muscle, hot sprays of vivid red smeared across the snow-covered grounds. Every move is graceful, filled with purpose, a dance of macabre beauty that Seonghwa performs at his master’s every whim. And Hongjoong doesn't even spare his performance a glance.

No, he is fully immersed in his ritual, nearing completion. The air thickens with rot, permeating Seonghwa’s senses. He can taste the decay on his tongue, a thin film of something cloying gathering on his skin.

Soon there is only a trio of hunters left, confused and shaken by the curdled air around them. One of them finally notices the cloaked figure on the stone dais, and Seonghwa sees the moment of realisation on her face; she has recognised the true source at the heart of this corruption.

She charges forward at the altar.

Seonghwa has no choice but to admire her commitment, as desperate and foolhardy as it is. But fools can make for the most dangerous of opponents; and this is one of them.

The hunter moves so suddenly that Seonghwa is forced to wildly fling himself between his master and the threat, skewering himself on the incoming blade. Adrenaline overrides pain, but Seonghwa knows the wound is deep.

Ah. So he will die for Hongjoong today.

Seonghwa smiles faintly, even as every breath draws blood into his lungs. Imminent death is no excuse to shirk his duties.

The hunter crumples to the ground with her sword still sunken into Seonghwa’s chest. The remaining two watch in horror how Seonghwa still stands, seemingly unencumbered by the grievous injury. That horror is their downfall, holding them frozen in place as Seonghwa’s blade finds their necks in one last brutal swing.

Silence falls in the clearing, only broken by Seonghwa’s heavy, gurgled breaths; and the skittering of bones. Hongjoong’s new servant has returned to this earth in a soulless mockery of life.

Faintly, Seonghwa hears his master call out to him.

There is concern in Hongjoong’s voice, or so Seonghwa likes to imagine. In the moments before death, he always allows himself these sweet indulgences.

Seonghwa collapses as the light leaves his eyes; but it will be back. His master will make sure of that.

It starts again with a heartbeat.

Sluggishly, the heart pushes at the blood that has accumulated at the bottom of this body, forcing a current to flow through drained arteries and veins once more. Function returns to the body’s organs; to its undamaged ones, at least.

An impulse sparks through a vast network of nerves, shooting all the way up the spine into the brain. It has one clear message for the newly reborn cognition inside this body’s skull:

Pain.

Muscles flex to open this body’s mouth. The mouth screams.

The pain is excruciating, it is all-encompassing. Anything in this body that is capable of sensation, senses nothing but agony. Torn flesh, punctured lung, shredded skin, all freshly knit together but still filled with memories of past injury. Even the unmarred pieces of this body are screaming in pain, death still clinging onto its meat with clawed fingers. Nothing else exists, endless and endless and endless—

— until it is endless no more. Even the infinite cannot survive superior power.

The pain is not gone, not entirely, but it has receded just enough for the brain to remember its body’s name. Seonghwa.

The entity that knows himself as Seonghwa realises he is naked and cold, and his muscles have regained enough strength for him to shiver uncontrollably. His skin’s nerve-endings send a cacophony of information to his brain, which he slowly untangles to know he is laid down on rough stonework, scraping against him with every twitch of his body.

A pair of familiar hands runs over his skin, a distant voice whispers by his ear.

To translate sounds into language into meaning is still a challenge for his freshly revived brain, but Seonghwa knows the voice belongs to Hongjoong, and that is enough. Seonghwa’s vocal cords vibrate when a jumbled noise escapes past his lips, and he prays that he just begged “please”.

He aches for Hongjoong; the pain of his need for his master is just as agonising as his resurrection, if not moreso. His soul is unmoored on this mortal plane, threatening to drift away, and only Hongjoong can anchor him.

Bleary vision returns to Seonghwa’s eyes. The forest is dark around him, and Hongjoong’s cloaked figure is nothing but a distorted shadow above him. Seonghwa whimpers, not understanding why the blurred image does not clear up — until his master reaches to wipe away his salty tears.

Hongjoong’s fingers are wet, smearing blackened blood across Seonghwa’s cheeks. Its metallic, festeringly sweet scent invades Seonghwa’s nose, but underneath it all he can still smell Hongjoong. His scent like a frigid winter’s morning, all sharp ice and no gentle snow.

His master’s delicate hands on his body go down, down, down, until they find a part of Seonghwa where Hongjoong’s touch causes him to shudder and arch. Pleasure. That's the sensation that throbs through him like a fever, heat flooding his newly alive body. His heart beats faster as it sends blood down to where Hongjoong’s hands stroke and tease. Sharp breaths fill Seonghwa’s aching lungs with oxygen, the air returning out his throat as even sharper whines.

“Are you back, my pet? You performed your duties so admirably today…” Hongjoong coos, his weight settling on Seonghwa’s thighs. As he shifts, his heavy fur cloak falls away to reveal a naked, lean body. He is unbothered by the night’s cold, already hard for his loyal servant. “Allow me to reward your devotion.”

The crescent moon provides little in the way of light, but Seonghwa’s enhanced vision allows him clear sight of the faint glisten gathered on the tip of Hongjoong’s cock. This is why Seonghwa’s master never mocks him for dying, never treats it as a failure in the line of duty. It excites him too much.

“Master…” Seonghwa rasps, feebly reaching for Hongjoong. He can barely lift his arms; his muscles are still weakened from his temporary demise, leaving him entirely to Hongjoong’s mercy. (Then again… isn’t Seonghwa always at his master’s mercy, even at his full strength?)

Dark satisfaction flashes across Hongjoong’s face at his pet’s desperation, knowing exactly what Seonghwa craves. Hongjoong leisurely palms at his cock, smearing his fingers with the clear fluids of his arousal. He then laughs lowly at how Seonghwa’s face contorts in pathetic pleasure as Hongjoong feeds it to him. Seonghwa’s long tongue swirls around cold fingers, moaning at the salty flavour. He always wants the first thing he tastes to be Hongjoong. He needs it to be Hongjoong.

“Such a diligent servant I found,” Hongjoong says with a slow, wicked smile, delighting in Seonghwa’s whine when he pulls his hand away. “So faithful, so greedy. You want more, my loyal soul?”

yes yes yes—

Seonghwa’s voice cracks as he tries to answer, his airways scratchy and raw from his earlier screams.

Hongjoong laughs again — fondly, Seonghwa convinces himself. He is allowed these sweet indulgences in the moments after death. A wired excitement thrums through him while Hongjoong repositions himself, caging Seonghwa’s head between his knees. Seonghwa eagerly cranes his neck to run his tongue over the underside of Hongjoong’s cock, unwilling to wait even a moment longer before he attends to his master.

Hongjoong hisses, his thighs flexing above Seonghwa’s face. “Patience, pet. Find your strength first,” he chides, bracing a hand on Seonghwa’s hip to lean over and wrap his lips around Seonghwa’s flushed cockhead. Seonghwa groans at the wet heat of him; the inside of Hongjoong’s mouth is one of the few parts of him that runs hot. Even his lips are cold, a constant contrast to Seonghwa’s senses as Hongjoong engulfs him, sliding up and down at a torturously slow pace that has Seonghwa writhing underneath him. He is always sensitive, but even moreso at these times, like death has torn the memory of pleasure out of his body, every experience new like it's his first time being ravished by the skillful hands and mouth of his master.

Even in his weakened state, Seonghwa can't stand it anymore; can't stand being the one attended to when it should be him, him on his knees before Hongjoong in ardent worship. He tips his head up to lap at a throbbing vein that runs along the length of Hongjoong’s cock, then takes him inside.

Seonghwa’s worship is clumsy, his muscles stiff from revivification, but he is devout, eager, and Hongjoong accepts what is offered with a zealous groan. He uses Seonghwa’s mouth with deep rolls of his hips, his moans rippling through Seonghwa’s own cock — then a cruel chuckle when Seonghwa gags on him. Hongjoong bucks again, forcing himself deeper down Seonghwa’s throat, like he does not care if his devoted servant suffocates right on his altar. Seonghwa does not care either. He would die for Hongjoong right here all over again — just as long as Hongjoong comes on his tongue first.

Pleasure crackles through Seonghwa’s veins, his eyes tearing up as Hongjoong overwhelms him, his cold lips dragging over his length only to be replaced by his hot tongue, deftly suckling and licking at him. Throbbing arousal floods Seonghwa’s senses, every emotion heightened by the sheer force of physical ecstasy brought to him by his master.

Seonghwa can feel it, how his release pulses closer and closer. How all physical and emotional sensation blends together into a volatile melting pot, the strong catalyst needed to fully align his body and soul after their brutal separation; the final stage to his resurrection to prevent future deterioration. Seonghwa chases it mindlessly, light-headed from Hongjoong fucking his throat, his cheeks puffy and flushed and wet from tears.

He whimpers when Hongjoong’s nails scratch across his thigh, then down to graze over Seonghwa’s ass, two fingers rubbing around the sensitive rim of his tight hole. Drool leaks from his mouth, choking out a moan when Hongjoong ruthlessly pushes him to the very edge of his limits with wet, noisy slurps. He squeezes a hand around the base of Seonghwa’s cock, tongue swirling around the tip as Hongjoong presses his hips down, forcing Seonghwa to take him and keep taking him, staying deep as Seonghwa garbles around his cock, throat spasming.

Oxygen becomes harder and harder to come by as Seonghwa’s nose clogs up, muffled sobs barely able to escape his mouth. His hips buck uselessly when Hongjoong’s lips disappear from his aching cock, but they are replaced by a cool palm that burns against his feverish skin, and Hongjoong brutally jerks him off while sucking at his testes.

The rough edge is just what Seonghwa needs, the soft warmth spreading through his core turning sharp. He cries out, his nails digging into Hongjoong’s ass and hips as he convulses, light-headed with pure pleasure. He uselessly tries to gasp for breath with strangled whimpers, electricity shooting through his nervous system as ropes of white spill over Hongjoong’s fingers and onto Seonghwa’s stomach, swiftly cooling in the night air. Static rings through his ears, exhaustion setting in as the dizzying euphoria clears up — yet Seonghwa also feels stronger, more complete, and while the ritual might be done, Seonghwa is not yet finished.

He hollows his cheeks and curls his tongue around Hongjoong’s throbbing cock, warmed by the wet heat of Seonghwa’s ardent mouth, who groans when his master’s hips move again. Hongjoong presses his hands against Seonghwa’s chest as he grinds down, thighs flexing.

Seonghwa’s eyes roll to the back of his head, darkness flickering across his vision as consciousness threatens to fade. But he hangs on, desperate to please. Crude wet squelches fill his ears, almost overpowering the sound of Hongjoong’s pitched whines. Seonghwa moans in satisfaction when Hongjoong shudders violently, the taste of him bursting on Seonghwa’s tongue, down his throat as he greedily swallows down his master’s essence.

Cold air sears through Seonghwa’s airways and fills his no longer aching lungs when Hongjoong pulls away, slumping down next to his faithful pet. He runs frigid fingers over Seonghwa’s flushed, heaving chest, grinning down on him.

“So tell me, Park Seonghwa,” Hongjoong says, his face split apart by a wide, dangerous grin, a wild glint in his dark eyes, “do you wish to renew our contract?”

The question always feels like an insult, even if Seonghwa knows it is necessary. But Hongjoong’s grin proves he also knows how rhetorical his query is, and that soothes the sting to Seonghwa’s pride in his loyalty. Of course he will.

Seonghwa had been dying and desperate the first time he committed to this agreement, left little choice unless he could make peace with his life’s end. Now he is neither desperate nor dying — yet he still has only one path forward. He doesn’t know what Hongjoong will do if he declines; he never asked. It does not matter. There is no choice; there is only Hongjoong. Seonghwa knows his place; at his master’s feet.

He wipes his ruddy cheeks, blinks the lingering tears from his eyes. “I renew our contract,” he says, steadily meeting Hongjoong’s sharp gaze as he extends his hand.

Hongjoong shakes it, his icy hand sending a shiver down Seonghwa’s spine. There is a strange sharpness to his cold touch, like tiny icicles piercing Seonghwa’s palm. Seonghwa swears he can feel blood being drawn, but his skin comes away unmarred.

And just like that, it is done. The verbal contract has been signed.

The first time, Seonghwa had waited for something grand to happen; for Hongjoong’s dark magic to coil around them in swirling black fog, swallowing them both up and spit them back out as a bound entity. It is nothing like that; no impressive displays of power, only a brief whiff of an acrid smell in the air that leaves Seonghwa dizzy and nauseous until it fades, making way for an odd, fuzzy euphoria.

Hongjoong stands up and picks up his fur cloak, putting it back on with a dramatic flourish. He always did enjoy a touch of theatrical flair. “Come, my faithful guard dog, we have much else to do,” he commands, and his voice cuts through Seonghwa’s disorientation like a siren song.

Seonghwa’s head clears and crawls back onto his feet, gathering the pieces of his black armour that are intact enough to wear. His soul brims with renewed purpose, knowing his place in life — and death. He could have said no to the contract. Hongjoong is many things, not all pleasant, but ‘true to his word’ is one of them. He would have released Seonghwa. Perhaps he would even let him live out this final life in peace as repayment for his service.

But what kind of life would that be?

Hongjoong does not need Seonghwa. For him, a thousand others. But out of all those thousands, Hongjoong still chose him. That means something. It has to.

[drewharrisonwriter]

Donor Part 4 (Final)

Part 1 | Part 1.5 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Pairings: Bestie Henry Cavill x OFC

A/N, Warnings: 18+, this is it... the last part of Donor. English is not my first language.

I’m AO3, too as MoonDjarin ^_^

“Oh…” A gasp escaped your lips, your hand instinctively covering your mouth as shock settled in. Tears welled up in your eyes as you stared at all three positive pregnancy tests resting on the bathroom counter. A silent rush of emotions flooded over you, causing your hands to tremble in disbelief as you picked one up. The cool, marbled counter became your anchor as your legs threatened to give way beneath you.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, you attempted to compose yourself. With the sleeves of your sweater, you wiped away the tears that had started to flow and went out the bathroom with one of the tests to look for Henry. Your heart is racing and your mind feels like it’s about to turn into mush, you should be happy about this, why are you so nervous?

The voices drifted from the kitchen as you reached the landing of the staircase. Passing through the living room, you moved under the archway that led to the dining area. And there stood Henry in an old and faded gray t-shirt and jeans, hands submerged in soapy water, gently tending to your 7-month-old daughter, Vivienne. The kitchen told a tale of joyful chaos—baby food scattered about, unfinished waffles sitting on the kitchen island, and blueberries on the floor.

“Mama!” A joyful squeal from your 4 year old daughter, Marianna, or Mari as you fondly call her, greeted you as she caught sight of you at the kitchen's entrance, her little sister, two year old Serena (Sisi), mimicking her with a wave.

“We cwean the house fow you!” Sisi's prideful proclamation filled the room, her adorable voice resonating with accomplishment. A soft smile adorned your lips as you warmly acknowledged your young helpers. Under your breath, you praised, “Great job, babies.”

Henry turned around with a beaming smile on his face, his laughter still echoing from moments earlier when your 7-month-old daughter had been gleefully causing a watery mess in the kitchen.

“Hey, darling, how are you feeling?” he asked, his smile tinged with a touch more concern. He gently scooped up the baby, wrapping her in a towel and patting her dry.

Your throat tightened, and your eyes brimmed with tears once more. As though Henry sensed the impending news, he shook his head in disbelief, a chuckle escaping him. "No, no way…" he muttered, his grin so expansive you thought his face might rip in half. 

“Hank…” you began, your voice trembling. You trailed off, the weight of emotions overtaking you, and you broke into sobs.

“Oh no!” Mari exclaimed, getting up from the floor to hug your leg. “It’s okay, mama.” She said softly, rubbing a hand up and down your leg, and you managed to chuckle a little, running a hand through her dark curls to show your appreciation. Sisi, the ever clone of her older sister, did the same. 

He moved closer, his voice soothing and warm. “Oh, no, no, no, darling. Don’t cry, just tell me,” he cooed, placing the baby in her high chair and wiping his hands on his trousers as he walked toward you and the girls, enveloping you in a comforting embrace.

“I’m so sorry,” you repeated between sobs, but he shushed you gently and the girls went back to picking up blueberries from the floor. 

Henry knew. 

Of course he does. He knows you so well, and you’ve been feeling sick and losing appetite the past few weeks, plus your period came in really light earlier in the month. You have been so sensitive to touch and have been feeling sluggish and sleepy. 

But the icing on the cake happened the other night where you cried watching a wildlife commercial where a bird was swallowed by an alligator and Henry fought back so hard not to laugh but failed, miserably, exploding in a fit of laughter which got you even more riled up, throwing pillows at him. You both had been through this three times before, with the last one not being that long ago, he knew the signs so well by now. 

He had playfully suggested you take a pregnancy test before seeing your doctor, those mischievous eyebrows of his wiggling with a teasing twinkle in his eyes. You had brushed it off, convinced it was too soon and impossible. 

Yet, here you were, holding one of the three positive tests in your hand. His response was laughter, a joyful sound that blended with the soft kisses he planted on your tear-streaked face.

“I told you so!” he teased, his laughter mixing with your sobs.

Through your tears, you irritatingly asked him, “How do you find this so amusing? Vivi is only 7 months old. How are we ever going to manage?”

Henry's laughter lingered, accompanied by the cheerful chatter of his other daughters in the backdrop. In that moment, his heart felt as though it might burst from the sheer joy of the moment.

“It’s alright, darling, don’t cry,” he cooed, wiping the tears on your cheeks with his thumb.

“You’re not upset?” you were surprised by his unwavering calm in contrast to your own turbulent emotions. “Or scared?”

He chuckled, his affectionate response carrying the weight of his feelings. “First of all, I could never be upset about having more babies with you. And no, we've been through this before. You're giving me another child, for god's sake, nothing can make me happier than that.” He sealed his words with a lingering kiss pressed to your forehead.

Despite his reassurances, your fears lingered. “I’m so scared.” You admitted, “And I feel like we're not being fair to Vivi.” Your gaze drifted to your 7-month-old daughter, snugly wrapped in a soft, yellow chick towel. She sat there contentedly, fingers in her mouth, her wide blue eyes taking in the world. A cascade of curly brown hair framed her face from under the chick hoodie, still holding onto droplets of bathwater.

Henry's voice carried a reassuring tenderness. “It’s going to be alright, darling. I'm always here for you, you know that….” 

You were well aware of that. For over two decades, Henry had consistently shown what an incredible best friend he could be — his generosity and love knew no bounds. However, all of that paled in comparison to the depth of his role as your husband and the father of your children.

Henry then leaned in and whispered so the kids won’t hear, “You know how much I love it when you’re pregnant, right?” You let out a brief chuckle as he nuzzled his nose against your earlobe and you buried your face in his chest, muffling your voice as you exclaimed, "Ugh, Haaaaank... how did we end up here?" 

Your words were absorbed by his chest, and he couldn't help but burst into laughter once again. He gently pulled away and turned his attention to the little girls who were now devouring the blueberries they were meant to clean up from the floor.

"Guess what, my lovely princesses. You're going to have another baby sister!" Henry's excitement filled the room, while you responded with a groan. The girls cheered, their joyful leaps reflecting the news.

"How can you be so certain it'll be another girl?" You posed the question to him.

"Well, given the pattern we've got going, isn't it a safe bet at this point?" His smile conveyed his playful confidence and you only shook your head in disbelief.

Eight years have passed since you and Hank began clinically trying for a baby – as best friends. Seven years since you tied the knot, wasting no time to start your lives together just months after the events of Charlie's birthday. You spent your honeymoon in Amalfi, and bought a farmhouse outside of London, big enough for the big family you were planning. 

But while your relationship and its changes flowed smoothly, your attempts to conceive were still not as easy. It took nearly two more years before Marianna was conceived naturally. 

After over a year of trying, you and Henry considered going through another round of IUI, hoping that it would not lead you to the IVF path. But an accident during the final show of your tour sent you to the ER right after the last number. The standard blood work results brought an unexpected surprise – a positive pregnancy test – leaving you momentarily breathless.

Henry was overseas with Kal doing reshoots for a film he did the previous year and won’t be back for another month. You were itching to call him right then and there and tell him but you decided it’s best if you do it in person, and so you wait. 

When he got back a month later, Kal immediately made a beeline for you, his tail wagged furiously as he bounded toward you, showering you with affectionate licks and nuzzles. You couldn't help but laugh, feeling his excitement to be home and to see you.

Henry smiled warmly as he entered the foyer of your home, watching the scene unfold. "Looks like someone really missed you," he remarked.

"Well, I missed him, too." You said in a special voice that you only use with the pets, cupping Kal's head in your hands.

Henry grinned widely, and asked, "And me? Did you miss me, too?" You snorted, standing up and you nodded your head in response. 

You embraced him, your arms circling his neck as he drew you in for a soft, lingering kiss on your lips. Henry's voice held a hint of longing as he whispered, "I missed you so much." You echoed his sentiment.

You settled on the couch where almost immediately, your fat cats, Tuna and Luna, jumped on you in their ever so softly feline way and began settling on your lap where they softly purred in contentment. 

Henry cocked an eyebrow and looked at you, “That’s new.” He remarked, knowing so well that the cats would rather lay down on burning coals than curl up with any humans. You only shook your head with a smile, gently stroking the cats who are now settling into a nap. 

“I suppose when we go outside by the barn, the birds will perch on your shoulders and our chickens will begin to sing?” He joked and you let out a loud laugh.

“Shut up, you watch far too many Disney films. How was L.A.?” You asked him, trying your best to buy yourself time before breaking the news to him. You don’t know why you’re so nervous, and he picked up on it when he noticed you were chewing your bottom lip as he spoke. 

“You're nervous." He stated, "What’s going on, Snow White?”

You giggled nervously, your heart skipped a beat at his words. There was no avoiding it now. You took a deep breath, meeting his gaze with a mixture of emotions. 

"Hank," you began, your voice wavering slightly, "there's something I need to tell you."

“Please don’t tell me you’re going away…” His tone dripped with a hint of heartbreak, his brows furrowing at the thought of you leaving and doing long distance again. As you hesitated, he sank back into the couch, his hand pinching the bridge of his nose in a gesture of frustration. "I just got home, darling. I was hoping we could at least spend some time together aft–"

You cut him off right then, “Hank, I’m pregnant.” 

His eyes shot open, his fingers still at the bridge of his nose, frozen as he processed the news.  "What?" he murmured, his expression shifting from confusion to a slow, dawning smile as the news began to sink in. You repeated the words, and he shook his head in disbelief, a grin stretching across his face so widely that you half expected it to split in two.

“We’re having a baby!” He exclaimed pulling you in a tight embrace, peppering your face with small kisses and then he began sniffling. 

Henry-Fucking-Superman-Cavill is crying at the news of your pregnancy. 

He did the same at the first one, and again when you got pregnant with Sisi and Vivi.

And now, with baby number 4 on the way, he's just as emotional as ever.

The kids have settled in for their mid-day nap, and with the kitchen now tidy, you and Henry find yourselves sprawled out on the couch. You rest against his chest, his hand gently on your stomach, tracing soothing circles, his breath is hot and wet on your neck.

“I can’t believe we’re having another baby this soon,” You said, reaching back to run your fingers on his curls to soothe him.

“Sometimes, I don’t believe that we are living the life we have now.” he choked on his words. "I've always wanted this with you, and all those years, it seemed like a dream."

His confession, though all too familiar from the countless times he’s said it over the years, still tugged at your heartstrings, and you smiled in response.

"It's funny, because you were very reluctant to donate sperm in the first place. I literally had to beg you." you teased, a chuckle escaping your lips, followed by his own laughter.

"But I'm so glad you did, though... Look at what we have now, three beautiful princesses and another princess on the way," Henry chimed in, his laughter laced with pride.

"Stop saying it’s going to be another girl, you might be disappointed. Remember how you were convinced Vivi was a boy?" you playfully retorted.

"Disappointed?" He chuckled in disbelief. "Impossible. Doesn't matter if I'm wrong or right about this one," He splayed his hand on your stomach that's still soft from your last pregnancy and now housing another growing life.  "You’re my children’s mother. That’s what matters the most." he kissed you on the temple as he gently pulled you in closer to him. 

You hummed, “Thank you for agreeing to be a donor.” You laughed together. 

Funny how things turned out after one silly decision that sprouted from an even sillier dream. If anyone had told you eight years ago that your life would unfold so beautifully, you'd have likely chuckled, maybe even taken a long sip from a pint of beer and wondered how it could possibly happen when all that ever happened to you up until that point is to find dead-ends in every relationship you’ve ever been in. 

You had at least made bank from the sad songs you’ve written about those relationships over the years. Something that Henry would often joke about or even sing just to annoy you, and those times you often find yourself pondering on what could have been, even more. 

If you hadn't mustered the courage to ask Henry to help you pursue your dream of becoming a mother, the path you tread might have taken a different turn. For all you know, you could be still touring at this moment, singing sad songs after sad songs, and not nestled in the arms of the love of your life, with your little dreams sleeping in their bedrooms upstairs in the house that you and Henry have made a home. 

All of these twists and turns coalesced to lead you to this very moment.

And despite all that you both went through, you wouldn't change a thing. Even if it took nearly 20 years for the both of you to pave your way into the path that you're in now. 

"I love you, Hank," you whispered.

"I love you more, darling." he whispered back, “Always.”

Tag list:

@jyessaminereads @summersong69 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetandgentlecreature @kingliam2019 @leaveitbythewave @mrsevans90 @evansabove1981 @bascmve01 @shellyshellshell @iamsana @foxyjwls007 @one-sweet-gubler @henryownsme @angelcavill66

[whoyacallinyellow]

Borrowed Time hurt me a lot omg- Now I offer you even more angst.

It's sad that Javier became the very thing in 1911 that he swore to destroy (working as a hitman for a tyrant government) but it would be even sadder if (as a part 2 ig of borrowed time) Javier and his love meet again but this time, he was there to arrest her and bring her to town to hang.

Borrowed Time II

Javier Escuella x F! reader

Spoilers: major RDR1-2 events Content: 18+, low honor Javier, angst, betrayal, loyalty, dramatic, possessive, referenced/implied sex, canon typical events & violence, possible unintentional spelling mistakes, google translated Spanish Type: I-II changed to second pov (wc - 4133) / pc: pinterest a/n: i can feel this request in my veins, so here’s my mediocre yapping! live, laugh, angst 

Summary: Following the events of Beaver Hollow and your departure, Javier falls into work with Allende. After your reunion he reflects on his time with you, to only turn you in by nightfall. 

It was a warm day in New Austin, the orange rays blanketing the barren dirt landscape, and not a cloud in the sky. Javier only imagined finding himself wandering these lands again, but yet he returned on what seemed to be borrowed time.

A few years had passed since he last saw you at Beaver Hollow. The man could not bear to show his face, the embarrassment of being wrong about Dutch was an ego check it say the very least. 

Yet your note lived in the far corner of his mind, a small cabin just north of MacFarlane's Ranch from his understanding. 

It did not take the man long to find it, local cowpokes cowered at the sight of the large Mexican outlaw sitting upon an even larger steed, interrogating them about a maiden. It was almost as if the best pieces of you resembled him, immediately reminding the folk of who it was he was searching for. 

Boaz grunted against Javier’s spurs, digging deep into the loose red dirt below. The sunbeams which crept through the dry pine trees created quite the atmosphere, allowing Javier to get lost in his head, even if it were just for a few moments of bliss. 

Despite the directions given to him, Javier hoped you had moved on after all these years, fled somewhere safer, started a new life, perhaps changed your name as well. Somewhere he would never find you. 

Boaz continued to race down the winding path, feeding Javier’s anticipation against the warm breeze. As it gusted past the side of his head, loose strands from his tied hair tickled his ears, merely reminding the man how badly he needed a haircut. 

The starving grass which bordered West Elizabeth held a yellow tinge, the land rolled and waved, flourishing with birds and wildlife. Javier reckoned he has not been to the area before, but you were not lying about how appealing it was— a perfect home for you two. 

Upon whipping around the corner, abruptly revealed a small cabin with songbirds singing to him in the trees. The place was quiet, cozy, and seemingly inhabited, with small smoke stacks exhausting from the brick chimney. 

Bringing Boaz to a halt, there was no sign of you— but sure enough a big black cloud skulked in the nearby pen, following you wherever you wandered like a burden. 

Javier stiffly slid off Boaz, his knees nearly giving out from under him as his boots crunched onto the dirt. The beast was grazing on hay as he approached the fence post 

After whistling and calling your shire a few times, Javier was promptly ignored, perhaps the slow and ominous brute heard the man call him el diablo one too many times. 

He was still a strong believer the only reason the horse broke for you was out of pity— you looked like a child struggling to climb him every endeavor. Maybe the beast had a soft spot for you, just like himself. 

But now the old shire was relieved from his saddle, serenading in the New Austin sun, not bothered to obey the envious man’s command. 

Javier leaned against the corral post, admiring what he could have had with you, the thought of being a family man loomed over his shoulders and displayed no signs of leaving. 

You and Javier ran together prior to joining Dutch, less for money and more for survival. Your past crimes covered bounty boards and train stations as a permanent reminder, never forgetting the wrongs that were written. That price only increased once Mexico inevitably caught wind of all the messy jobs in neighboring lands. 

He drowned and you sank with him, the price of his sins were bricks added to your back. Being his accessory, the government saw you as a pawn, smart and knowledgeable, if caught— Javier would come for you, and they would be ready for him. 

Those days were nearly from another lifetime. 

Now under Allende’s ruling fist, he offered him a twisted plea deal of sorts; protection at the cost of something the man held more dearly than life itself—you. Your capture was not about the money nor status, but simply a test of his loyalty to Allende; if Javier did this job, he’d do anything. 

The poor man’s convoluted loyalty never got him far, proving time and time again, leading him only to dead ends and false hopes. Charismatic attributes and big promises was something Javier foolishly gave everything to with a blind eye, something you always warned him about.  

“Javier?—“ 

Your voice could have made him leap out of his own skin. As he hesitantly turned towards you, his gut twisted into something mean. You were beautiful as ever, after all these years you waited for him— just like you promised. 

“Never thought I’d see you again, especially in the west.” You spoke again in disbelief, rag wiping your hands clean of a job he should have been doing. 

Your voice only lived in his memories, hearing it again nearly whipped Javier back into shape, feeling sick for your puppy love he desperately relied on so long ago. 

“Home sweet home.” The man swallowed dryly, throwing his arms out awkwardly and gesturing towards the open lands around you both. 

Before his thoughts could catch up to the moment, you ran to embrace him, flinging yourself into his arms with a long awaited kiss. Javier grunted softly against your lips, staggering back to support you, the extra attention only reminding him how saddle sore he really was.  

Just for a moment things felt normal, a feeling he was searching for since you split. He had a place in this cruel world once again, everywhere had a price on his head, no place to retreat to besides you— you were home. 

Perhaps he could head tail between his legs back to Allende, saying you disappeared. 

Maybe he could take you to Canada, or a tropical island— oh, anywhere but Guarma. 

We must leave,

Javier’s unsaid words pricked beneath his skin, prodding relentlessly at his deepest desires for redemption. 

“Oh—amor.” 

Was all the man could choke out, the words exiting pitiful and weak, a near cry for help you assumed was just your bittersweet reunion. 

Leaning away you smiled coyly at him, admiring your lost cowboy;

Your time apart was not easy on Javier, his hardened stare and the chip on his shoulder now set in stone. 

The constant blazing sun of Mexico, along with surviving off rationed canned beans really took a toll on the man. His face was dull and lacking the usual pigment he wore so handsomely when Mr. Pearson cooked for everyone. 

Javier’s newfound demeanor only put emphasis on his sharp brows peeking from under his bowler cap brim, residing above dark cunning eyes, ready to match any cowpuncher who dared challenge him. 

Over Javier’s shoulder was where his mount rested, hoove digging into the dirt at the end of the cabin’s path. 

“—and Boaz?” You began after a shared silence, slowly approaching the overworked horse. 

“Still kickin’.” He uttered gently, a large hand scratching the back of his neck. 

Boaz never really liked you, or anyone besides Javier that is. It wasn’t until the gang hunkered down in Colter for the stubborn bastard to take a liking to you. 

The weather and unpredictable circumstances was not easy on the gang, including the horses, causing rations to be small among the mounts. 

You always carried treats in your satchel to gain Boaz’s affection, and your efforts would eventually succeed in Colter. You would secretly slip him sugar cubes every time you left the shack, he must have appreciated the extra attention. Javier barely recognized Boaz trotting up to him in the snow, you mounted on top wearing a proud grin. 

You wore a similar grin now, full of satisfaction and pride that he returned to you— with warmth flowing through him, his heart rapidly thumped in his ears, all the pent up feelings for you were reopening like floodgates. 

“What’a nice feller, huh.” You cooed to the mount after a slow approach. 

Showing no distress Boaz allowed your kind pats and rubs. Tenderly nudging you, the horse’s chops tried sneaking its way into your pockets, searching for the snacks you usually held after a long journey. 

“Ai, fácil!” 

Javier exclaimed, quickly guiding Boaz’s large snout away, the loving gestures nearly toppling you over. 

“Guess I’m glad he still remembers me.” You beamed, tipping your hat lower to shield yourself from the beating sun. 

“Or perhaps your donations, amor.” Javier quipped softly, his eyes wandering meekly. 

Something besides time passing seemed different about him, you could not quite pinpoint it. Javier was always a timid man at first when it came to his lover, maybe your time apart presented this old side of him. 

You knelt slightly, peeking under his sunken head which hung towards the ground. 

“Javier? You don’t look so good.” 

Your soft words managed to dig their way through his ringing ears, the man squinted his eyes tightly before swiping his lids with rough fingers. 

“Uh— maybe you oughta sit for a bit, I think you’re overdressed for this heat.” 

Your words broke through once again, giving a small tug on his poncho, his disoriented vision cluttered with black floating spots as you guided towards the porch. 

As his vision continued to warp, the cabin doubled and skewed while you put him in the shade. 

Javier knew you were speaking, your voice fading in and out irreguarly, piercing his ears every so often. 

The words felt like they were being consumed by the ocean, his head bobbed up and down as if he were drowning. All he could think about was Dutch’s screams over the storm and waves, as he was about to be consumed by the large void. 

But Dutch snagged him before being swept away, yanking him upon the tiny rowboat that threatened to tip from the added stress. Javier’s senses were waterlogged, rejecting the mean salty water from his lungs. As he gasped for air; the only thing he thought of was you. 

“S’alright, son, You’re not dying today!” Was the first thing he heard. He faded in and out of consciousness as Dutch beat the sea water out of him, his ribcage rattling under each and every smack. 

Javier sometimes wonders if Dutch should have just let him die, abandon him and allow the dark waters to engulf him whole, repaying his sins to his maker. Maybe his death would free you of your burdens. 

He felt like his time had withered before Dutch had saved him anyways. Being a prisoner in Guarma is what convinced him that he would never make it back to you, sealing the deal. Your previous words borrowed time scratched at his skin again, yearning to be acknowledged. 

“Ah well, I knew you’d come crawling back, you’re here for a reason.” You would always say to him after a particularly dangerous run with the gang. He would dismiss you with a mumble and a kiss, but always knew he was lucky to be alive as more of his brothers began to fall. 

Sometimes he would catch you talking to a disgruntled Arthur as he packed his horse. 

Upon inquiring about your words, Arthur being a somewhat vague man would shortly grumble; 

“Jus’ focus on the job, and returnin’ to your woman, Javier.” 

—and he always did. Javier knew you did not worry about him much, at least outwardly. But he did notice Arthur’s presence whenever trouble presented itself. 

~

“Javier— some water.” 

Your words along with a canteen dangled in front of him, the prior hallucination of a watery grave was almost enough to empty his stomach. 

Javier stared back towards your shire lounging in his corral, his mind once again wandering back to the life he could have had with you. 

In the midst of his tunneling vision, a lean coyote lingered through his gaze, stalking towards him, icy eyes sending daggers into his before diminishing. 

“Javier. Say something.” Your words were now much clearer to him, breaking through his consciousness, the ringing disappeared from his mind fog. 

“‘M alright.” He muttered, spitting out the bitter taste from his mouth. 

“I reckon you oughta take it easy, being an old man n’ all now.”

Javier frowned at you and blinked a couple times, jaw agape, processing the pun you made at his dismay. 

“Ha— so sorry, chica, ‘suppose I’m no longer the young buck you remember.” 

He replied sarcastically, his voice both bold and hoarse as he raised back to his feet, every step whining for rest. 

“Ride with me?” Javier suddenly asked as if nothing happened. It took you by surprise, he had just arrived after all. 

“Alright.” You obliged shortly after a pause. “Let me grab my belt.” You continued, motioning towards the missing holsters on your frame. 

“No need.” He cut you off quickly, his voice leaving traces of urgency. 

“Boaz is packed.” 

You eyed him up, watching the man shutter under your antagonizing gaze, how he hoped you were not suspicious of his intentions after all this time. But rightfully so, the man was yellow-bellied. 

But you had no reason not to trust him. 

You were not exactly sure where Javier was taking you, but for now his company was enough to keep you satisfied. The ride was eerily quiet, even for his standards, being a man of few words. 

After riding a little down south he brought you to a small mountain that overlooked Mexico. He perched you both on a small flat area, just in time for the sun to sink below the land. 

Javier stared over the horizon, he never really did think about how big the south was, yet how small he felt in comparison. A glimmer caught onto his peripheral, turning towards the shine was the pendent he had given you, when you both first started running with the gang. 

The feeling presented itself again, feeling so small in the world— you were the home he had been searching for since the gang's fallout. It was always you. 

He sank into his memories, a vessel of his former self was all that remained. 

You two were quite away from your newly shared camp, with all the members and leads, the moments you had alone became quite sparse. 

“What do you think, Javi?” Your sudden presence caught him off guard. 

“The gang?—“ he pondered your words, leaning against a shady oak. 

“I suppose they’re family for now, señorita. We’re much safer, and they’re good to us.” Javier replied, a hand brushing over the stubble on his jaw. You smiled gently with a nod, making your uneasiness all too obvious. 

“It’s just temporary, amor, once we have the money to get on our feet— it’ll be the two of us again.” He reassured, a polite arm sliding around your waist. 

Javier remembers the look in your eye, doubtful and full of sorrow, but you still trusted him, knowing he would never lead you astray. The same he thought about Dutch.  

Repositioning himself behind you, he dug a necklace from his pocket, draping it over your chest and clasping it. You fidgeted in surprise against his movements, gazing down at the beautiful silver pendant that glistened off the very same sun. Before you could say a word he planted a kiss on your lips, gentle and quick before mounting Boaz. 

“I promise!” 

He called out. After blowing a kiss to you, he was off to assist the gang. He didn’t have much money at the time, but Javier always knew how to make things work—

Oh how naive of him— bright eyed and lovesick, he wanted to make a woman out of you, settle down. That is, before Dutch’s plan captivated him. Which ultimately led to this mess, but who is he kidding, he never really had a chance anyways. 

Javier thought back with immense regret, wishing he was more romantic with you in a way, officially making you his chica earlier on, instead of prolonging it due to the possibility of death. He always feared that courting would further your heartbreak if something bad were to happen. 

It was his own unaddressed way to cope with the harsh reality of survival and being an outlaw, he always prioritized your safety over intimacy until joining the gang. When he looks back on it, your shared time at Horseshoe Overlook and Clemons Point were some of the best times of his life. 

Around that time of riding with the gang was when your relationship with him really began to evolve. The potential competition of other men drove Javier and his intimacy up a wall— his usual gentle lips ghosting over yours turned into small nips, and purple blotches he would mark on your neck late at night. A tight palm covering your mouth which muffled the moans of his name, words the man would kill to hear in such an uncaged manner. He entertained no confusion of who you belonged to; even if he did not make things official until that night at the lake.  

Javier had nearly forgotten the sun had already set, and he somehow had no recollection of it. He looked down at you, only in a thin shirt as you gazed longingly off the mountain side.

The final sunset you shared was simply a ticking clock for him. 

“Cold?” He whispered, words he could barely choke out. 

“A little.” You replied, big doe-like eyes staring up at him, holding so much love for the man. Love he was not sure he ever deserved. 

Forcing his gaze away quickly he arose, soles of his feet vibrating and pulsing with each step. After approaching Boaz his shaking hands freed his bedroll clasps, attention locked upon his rifle poking out of the saddle. 

His head spun, finally digging himself out of his trance. After returning to you, he draped the cloth over you coyly. 

“You okay?” You suddenly asked, your hush voice startling him, he sighed in despair. 

The words you said to him at Beaver Hollow replayed through his mind,

Leave with me. Let’s run away. 

But he could not get them out, his chest quivered under the constraint of his uneven breaths. 

“Course.” He managed to form the word, you nodded in contentment, fresh air filling your nose. 

His response would have to do for now, you decided to cut him some slack since he returned to you, after all. 

By now you knew him well enough. Some nights he would stay up and collect his thoughts before laying beside you. You always respected his space, he had his demons, like everyone else. Soon enough in your slumber  you would feel his protective arms drape around you, his steady breaths hitting the nape of your neck, tense body encapsulating yours— those were the nights you felt the safest, and knew he was going to manage just fine. 

Other nights Javier would stay up while you were by your lonesome. He always feared something would kill the both of you while asleep, reluctantly you agreed. But the man always let you rest, you needed it more, that is for putting up with him all day round. 

Your memories swam with always being coaxed to sleep, eventually giving into the soft lulls he would sing. A wordless agreement that there was no point for the both of you to be cranky and tired in the morning. 

—But there he sat, only to turn into the monster he swore to protect you from. 

“I love you, Javier.” 

Your words racked his brain, digging and clawing invasively into each one of his bones. Javier thought he imagined them until he looked over to find you staring this entire time. You knew there was something seriously wrong, but surely he would tell you within due time. 

Javier’s voice was lost, swallowing suppressed sobs down his dry throat, he nearly felt like he was drowning once again in the frame he called a body. 

Just like the days he would not say it back while pursuing a lead, with doubts he would not make it back to your arms— but he always did, it was the least he could do. It felt like lifetimes ago to him, how could the man choke out a te amo before sending you in? 

Instead, he planted a kiss on your soft lips, lingering there for a moment, knowing it would be your last. 

Looming below in the shadows, trailing to the border resided monsters he used to protect you from— two Mexican soldiers camped out by the tracks. Their lanterns flickering softly in the distance, patiently waiting for the man to arrive at the agreed meeting spot. 

Javier shivered, feeling like a young boy again. His eyes fixated on the stock of his rifle that Boaz held. 

Your breaths became shallow, harmonizing with the warm night’s breeze as you fell into a slumber. You trusted Javier’s judgment on setting up camp or heading home, you perhaps allowed yourself to get a little too comfortable. 

It all happened so fast for him, and there was no going back. Javier’s mind blurred as he rode, Boaz fussing and fighting under his control. His very own horse feared the  monster he had become, maybe poor Boaz thought he was Javier’s next victim. 

He rode fast— but not fast enough to flee from himself. 

A coyote lurked around the darkness, gazing at Javier from behind the two Mexican soldiers who taunted him, puffing on their big cigars from Uncle Sam.  

The coyote disappeared as Javier reached for his revolver, patiently waiting for the man to shoot him— but he never did. 

The soldier simply laughed, knowing Javier’s bark had no bite. While under Allende’s power, he was simply a coward a soldier would not even match out of pity.  

Soon enough the two men fled into the night, banter that could be heard a mile away through the ravines. Anyone could have mistaken them for sick hyenas. 

He could hear their stallions riding hard in triumph, with a new prize Javier held so close for many years, he watched the soldiers grow smaller and smaller over the uneven land until the darkness swallowed them whole, taking a piece of him along. 

The nighttimes ahead would find Javier in a one horse town saloon, nodding off more times than he could remember. His glass turned from full to empty until his vision doubled. 

Javier was not sure how many days had passed, the whiskey dulling his mind and senses, but the thoughts still ate him alive. 

Did you think he would come for you? Or would you be envious, spilling everything you could before meeting the gallows. 

Javier hid in his palms, knowing he got it all wrong— it should have been him. 

It did not take too long for the man to get kicked out from the saloon due to his drunken stupor, not even the bartender wanted his dirty money. 

Javier took Boaz to what he thought was east, the coyote returned to accompany him, lurking around on the monotone forest floors he traveled. 

The night breeze made Javier reminisce of the times at camp, the very same breeze that whipped through your hair as you would drag him off somewhere secluded, your mischievous grin reflecting off the summer night's moon as you snuck off into the bushes. 

You gave everything to each other— all for nothing it seems.

Javier sank lower into himself before eventually staggering off Boaz. It only took him a few unsteady steps to empty his bowels on the dirt path, elbows hoisting him up on his shaky bent knees. 

Peeking out from his jacket cuff was a scar he once wore proudly on his wrist. A scar he earned in some honky tonk town just because another man looked at you wrong. The mere thought of it worsened his nausea.  

All signs pointed to you, and you were gone because of reasons he barely understood himself— He feared he didn’t know what loyalty was anymore. Or what he stood for in fact. 

Your blind love killed you in the end, and it was his cross to bear. 

The sky was dark and dull, which was just as familiar as a bottle and a glass. Not a single star in the sky greeted him, leaving him to fester alone. 

The wind howled violently through the trees, causing the leaves to rustle and sway. A northern was quickly sneaking upon the lands of New Austin. 

His lone coyote joined him on a distant cliffside, coat black as sin, mocking the cowboy who lingered below. 

~

[feroluce]

So I saw this post yesterday about whether Belobog had had phones before the Astral Express landed, or if the Trailblazers were the ones who brought them and distributed them to Jarilo-VI for the current characters. There were some mixed views and guesses in the comments.

And the answer is actually....both!

If you look at the text messages from a lot of the Belobog characters, most of them will actually allude to not knowing how to use a phone, which isn't something you get on the Xianzhou Luofu, even though they have the jade abaci. Oleg even specifically says that March 7th gave him his.

And there's also this line from Gepard and Serval's companion quest:

He's so cute I love him

Meanwhile Sampo has been running scams with selling supposed ancient relic mobile phones to the rich nobles up topside- tbh I think he could sell ice cubes in Belobog if he really put his mind to it, so he could probably make this work no matter what, knowing him. But a scam like this would not work NEARLY as well unless the general populace didn't know anything about cell phones or how they work.

(It's extra funny when you remember that he's not even a Belobog native, man has probably been hiding a phone from everyone for however long he's been there, and he absolutely knows how they work slzjkskwms)

I'm going to shove him through a meat grinder (affectionate)

While it's possible it would be way harder to get signal out there, we know from the When Business Comes Knocking adventure mission (the fact that THE TRAILBLAZER is the one who tipped off the IPC about Jarilo-VI's revival, and over something so stupid, thus leading to the invasion during the Solwarm Festival in 1.4 fucking KILLS me fjkdlsajfkdlaj) that phones CAN get some kind of signal even as far out as Everwinter Hill. So it makes this line from Serval's online introduction seem like even stronger proof that Belobog had no phones, because there's no way Gepard and Serval wouldn't text each other to at least occasionally check in while he was out in such a dangerous place.

The final nail in the coffin is actually from an IPC worker out near the Pillars of Creation, who says the Astral Express brought phones to Jarilo-VI (they say it's just a rumor, but no yeah I'm sure it's real given everything before this haha) and then admit they've been using the technological gap and lack of knowledge to make money on the side.

So. Belobog didn't have phones when the Express landed. But. But!

They did 700 years ago.

In one of the daily missions, you can encounter this echo in Backwater Pass, who shows you pictures on his phone. He mentions Alisa Rand, the very first Supreme Guardian, and the war against the Antimatter Legion, but he doesn't know what the Fragmentum is. So we know this had to happen only shortly after the Eternal Freeze came about.

And I've seen people complain how ridiculous it is that the surrounding areas of Belobog have so little flora or fauna, and how real snow tundras don't work like that. And it has been a very long time since then, but. I'm not quite sure how much water that holds, because that's not what happened here.

The Eternal Freeze didn't slowly move in. This wasn't some natural process. It just happened.

This was an environmental disaster on a planetwide scale. There was no time to prepare and most of the wildlife couldn't even live long enough to adapt or evolve. All of Jarilo-VI was on the verge of extinction; the Antimatter Legion had them at the precipice, and Alisa Rand had to make a choice. It was a desperate decision under dire straits and it didn't come without cost.

And you can see just how devastating the effects were from that previous conversation- the man regards his own phone as a pre-war relic. His wife died of illness due to the cold. His son was forced to take up a career he didn't want. Everything was put on hold. Everyone who managed to survive had to fully devote themselves to the cause.

Belobog lost entire eras of knowledge, because they were all scrambling for survival. Whatever kind of mobile phones they had before the war and the Eternal Freeze, they were lost in the ensuing chaos, until the Astral Express landed and brought new technology for the first time in 700 long years.

So- the answer is both!

[xxelleswrittingxx]

A Curious Predator Part 2

Warnings: non-con, avatar x fem!human smut

Part 1

Hours had passed and the eclipse moved overhead out of sight. Soft light emerged through the leaves and cast warmth onto your cooled skin, the heavy humidity finally hit its precipice to fall as a soft mist. It woke you from your heavy slumber and weighty limbs moved you to an upright position.

Neytiri had not slept a wink. The heat inside of her developed into an exciting buzz that kept her on her toes, waiting for any movement from you. Her mind ran through possible scenarios to come: you willingly giving in, being scared but still doing as she says or even fighting back. None of these worried her because she knew that no matter what, she would have you.

Her upright ears twitched forward to follow your new movements and a small grin made its way to her lips. You had awoken.

Memories of the evening before slammed back into your mind and you immediately started checking yourself and the surroundings for any danger. Things seemed to be clear and nothing had gotten you in your sleep. Relief washed through your tense body and plans for finding your way back to the team formed.

You emerged from your grove of tree roots to begin the long walk back to where the team first landed, or at least until you were back in range of the other com-calls. Soft chirps and the drizzle of rain became music to your ears during the trek. Unknown to you Neytiri followed above, her movements less graceful than they were before. Now they were more aggressive...crouching and crawling her way through the trees. The hormones surging through her body transformed her into a different being. Years of training lost, she forgot how to move unnoticed.

You could hear it above you. Something had found you and decided that you were it's next meal. The heavy thumping of your combat boots picked up alongside your heart rate. You changed your course and zig-zagged through large shrubs, under massive leaves, and over moss covered rocks.

The development of your leisurely pace to a slight jog had only excited her more. Senses amplified, Neytiri could smell you through the rain. She could feel your heartbeat pumping in her ears. Your fear in her stomach.

You halted to a stop. Where were you going? You know you could never outrun any of Pandora's wildlife, your only hope was to find your team but you strayed far from the path a long time ago. Y/E/C orbs scanned the surrounding area, searching for something unknown. Maybe the path back? But more likely, the thing that was following you.

A blue figure was crouching on a branch high above the ground across from you. A new fear dawned through your body, and it moved you before your brain could tell it to. Your feet fled in the opposite direction and all you could think about was getting away.

A frenzy had started.

Neytiri lept up and ran across the tree limbs before her. She quickly gained on you and eventually ahead of you to where she could drop down to the wet grass.

~

The rain beat down across your face and your feet slipped through mud, but that never stopped you. The giant Na'vi that dropped down in front of you did.

A scream ripped out of your throat and you fell back.

The alien before you crouched down and glared hard into your eyes. You had never met a real native before, so to suddenly have the unique being before you had left you shocked.

The powerful and lean limbs stretched on and on... distinct stripes painted across them. Big yellow cat eyes stared.

Fear still burned deep inside you.

You slowly started to crawl backwards... and the woman mirrored the movement to cawl after you.

"Please, I mean no harm!"

Neytiri tisked at the first words you spoke to her.

"I'm only trying to find my way back." Your voice wavered out.

"I do not care..." Was spit out in return. Her scrutinizing gaze burned all over you, taking in every detail that stood out to her.

Your mind raced with any possible way to get out of this situation, but it kept short-circuiting, once an idea popped up it ran blank with the fear and danger hovering in front of you. "I'll do anything! Just, please, don't hurt me!" Begging is the only thing making sense to your rushed mind right now.

"Hm, I know you will," Neytiri said with a blank look. She only cared about the burning heat between her thighs, and the delicious scent you put off, like the sweetest fruit Pandora had to offer mixed with fear and tears. She couldn't get enough of it.

And this is what brought her closer to you, her bow now taken off of her back and pointed down to your throat. The tip of it tilted your chin up, your view of the Na'vi was wavered with tears, but you couldn't ignore the beauty in front of you. She slowly leaned down over you.

"You will not move, or I will kill you. Understand?"

"Yes!"

This answer seemed to satisfy her, for she paused in thought, staring at you as if to read your expression and see if you were lying or not.

She threw her bow aside into the damp flora. She had decided to believe you, besides if you did try anything she knew that you were no match for her. So she watched your small body lay in the mud and tried to decide what to do with you.

Neytiri dropped to her hands and knees above you, a small 'rah!' slipped her lips, her aggression getting the best of her. You flinched at the sudden movement and sound, your reaction seemed to satisfy her. She dipped her nose down to your neck and sniffed hard, taking in your intoxicating scent. It soothed her, but at the same time made the fire burn hotter.

She sat up above your body and tried to figure out what to do with your annoying clothing, pulling the knife from her hip, she grabbed the front of your T-shirt and sliced the cotton.

You gasped at the brutal action, "W-what are you doing?"

"Removing your clothing." She ripped your bra next.

"Stop!" Your hands covered your chest, trying to save your modesty.

But Neytiri did not like this, "What did I tell you!" She hissed in your face and brought both of your wrists above your head with her one hand. "You are MINE." How could you not understand this? You were really starting to frustrate her...

Your shorts and underwear were next. She crawled down the length of your body and pried your legs apart, kneeling between them she took a deep breath in of your heat, "Wait! Not there!" your pleas fell on deaf ears and she delved into you, drinking in anything you had to give her. She had to have a taste of you before starting.

You couldn't believe it, the way it felt, you were supposed to be yelling but only moans escaped your throat. Your face burned in shame. Your hips bucked in pleasure. The hands held by her grasp escaped and tried to push her head away. Show growled into you and held them down by your sides.

Bold licks lapped through your folds. Neytiri slurped every juice up. She loved the sounds you made, especially the pleas to stop. They were amusing, you both knew she wouldn't, and that deep down you didn't want her to.

Your clit throbbed against the wet heat of her mouth and your walls tightened around nothing. 'No, no, no. Don't cum...' your thoughts screamed out, but your body would do what it wanted. And it did. Hard.

Your cum squirted into Neytiris' mouth and she swallowed everything. Your body thrashed under her hold, but it didn't budge her, if anything it spurred her on. Her mouth stayed attached until you went limp in the mud.

She stood up and started to undo her top, letting it drop, her bottoms followed next.

Your body shook with the aftermath of her. The sight of Neytiri undressing brought a new bolt of fear through your body and you turned over to crawl away. To nobody's shock, she grabbed your ankle and dragged you back over to her.

"Now, now little one, we are not done." She finally smiled during the interaction. Her large hands grasped you around your waist, and she laid back to bring you above her, your legs scissoring between hers. Your weight pressed your wet heat against her own and you both gasped out at the contact.

Finally, Neytiri was getting what she needed. Her large hands covered the expanse of your torso and she used them to guide your body. Rutting your hips down onto her own, she used you to pleasure herself.

You could feel her wetness seeping between your thighs, sticking you two together with her need. Wet squelches came from you both and you looked down at the blue woman, her eyes squeezed shut, jaw dropped and ears pointed back... God, she was beautiful. Unknown to yourself, your hips started to move on their own accord, your hands pressed down onto Neytiris' hard stomach.

It felt too good, you couldn't help it, you might as well give in...

NO! You were supposed to be scared, disgusted, and revolted. But your mind kept getting caught up in the sight below you. Her mound was glistening with slick, your's and her's mixed together, you kept getting a peek of it every time she brought your hips back and forward. Dark blue folds molded with your own... and you loved it.

Neytiri could feel her orgasm coming up on her quick. Her little toy felt so good against her, it was exactly what she needed. Little 'ah ah ah's were slipping from her mouth and she couldn't bring herself to care. The lean muscles of her body tensed tight and the pleasure bowed her back. With a low whine, Neytiri came long and intense under you,

You thought it was coming to an end as her rutting slowed down but it never stopped. Of course it wasn't over! She was in heat and this meant that she wasn't stopping until she was satisfied, and from previous experience, she wasn't done until she just about passed out.

Your clit started to throb again. It was coming back and you had to try to hold it off. To distract your mind you stared down at Neytiri's tits, Her small buds shook with every thrust and your mouth watered...

Fuck it.

You leaned forward and took one into your mouth. Neytiri let out a strangled moan and brought a large hand to your head to push you closer to her.

You sucked, nipped, and bit at her until they were swollen and raw. Yet, this still only distracted you for a little while. Your pussy was clenching hard, and before you could pull away from her chest your orgasm washed over you. Your face scrunched up in pleasure and you pulled the woman below you closer. Hips bucking hard against her own.

God this felt so fucking good.

Neytiri chuckled at the little human lying on top of her. So you finally gave in to her? It was faster than she had anticipated, but she wasn't going to complain. She loved to watch you hump yourself above her. Maybe she would have to keep you around. Her own little toy she could play with whenever she wanted.

~

AN: Omg this took forever to write, I'm so sorry to anybody that wanted the second part. Anyways hope you liked it! feedback is always appreciated :)

[justadeadreaper]

Hey, this is for @frogchiro and her COD Gods AU. I hope she is comfortable with this, and I'm sorry if she isn't and will remove it if she asks me. But, let me just say thank you for blessing us with this idea and I am so happy that you are back as you are one of my favourite Tumblr accounts and your ideas are always amazing.

This will be very long and could be confusing so please hear me out as this is 4771 words of explanation.

My idea for God König could be him being a mysterious God that not many people know about entirely but they'll know his cults. He has many, many cults (like the cults of Dionysus or Pan) worshipping him, but all for different things due to how he randomly appeared one day and had all these cults popping up like it was planned, but all these cults fight each other over what he's the God of as they can't seem to agree but to try and beat each other they try to spread their worship to more people, not knowing that it makes König more powerful. I can also break down each aspect, why he has them, how powerful each aspect is due to the size of the cult, and what parts of the world would worship which aspect.

To make this make sense I have made a hypothetical world which I hope @frogchiro is okay with. So for this hypothetical world which I'm basing on other fantasy worlds and our Earth, we can say that most of the mountain ranges would be a majority in the North, going through the North-East and a lot of the East. Now forests would go across the whole world but would be more focused in the North all across to the West, although the North would be thicker deciduous or timber forests compared to the West where it would be mostly oak or birch forests, but the South-West would have some tropical rainforests while the East has a mixture of tropical forests and normal forests. The East going into the West, which would be the middle, would be mostly desert area, which has some oases here and there. Most of the South is a coastal region with the upper parts being sand deserts while on the South-West and East-West would be tropical rainforests with the furthest parts of the South being pure beaches that are mainly used for fishing villages. Of course, there are offshore islands that come off the mainland, with the South and East having the most islands.

  Wildlife/Nature/Earth- I see König being worshipped as the God of Wildlife/Nature/Earth due to how we see in his Ghillie Monster and Desidia skins we see that he is tanned and he gives the vibes of an outdoorsman who loves nature and wildlife but also feral animal vibes especially when on field, plus the gun we see with his The Wolf skin (look on the wiki) reminds me of the hunting rifles my great-great uncle owns and he is a giant outdoorsman. This aspect is mainly worshipped in the North and West because those are the regions where it is mostly land thick with nature and forests. The powers König gets from this are the ability to talk to animals and have some control over them but not complete control, he can also morph forests to make them thicker or more confusing, he can also help plants grow but he doesn’t have to much control over it, and he can mimic animal calls but also shift into the animal if he has a part of that animal and he can grant a safe passage through forests or safety from predators to his followers for this aspect.

  Mountains/Caves- I see König being worshipped as the God of Mountains/Caves due to how he is a mountain of a man, so it would make sense for him to be associated with them and I thought to add in caves due to caves being closely linked with nature and caves but also due to how caves are natural shelters and it made sense in my mind that people would worship and thank him for these shelters within nature. This aspect is mainly worshipped in the North and North-East because those are the regions where it is mostly mountain ranges and mountains tend to have tunnel systems. The powers König gets from this are being able to be so tall and use mountains as his territory and he can grant shelter and to grant big, strong children to his followers for this aspect.

  Shadows- I see König being worshipped as the God of Shadows due to how it was one of the easiest for him to steal first and I always find it funny when someone so big is so quiet and sneaky that they blend into the shadows. This aspect is mainly worshipped by assassins so it can be anywhere but normally there is a designated spot in a city where the assassins can pray to him. The powers König gets from this are being able to travel through the shadows and sneak around and he can grant similar abilities to his followers for this aspect.

  Death- I see König being worshipped as the God of Death due to how he probably has the highest kill count and if I saw him on the field I would think that it was Death coming me himself and because it fits into the backstory I have for him. This aspect is mainly worshipped by a select few cults, which would mostly be his most original followers. The powers König gets from this are to be able to see when someone is going to die, to easily kill anyone and to have control over the dead, and he can’t “grant” anything to his followers for this aspect unless they want him to kill someone after they’ve given him a big enough sacrifice.

  Oceans- I see König being worshipped as the God of Oceans due to how there’s the whole Eldritch König thing in the fandom which was made worse by his Deep Lord skin and paired with his ability to change into animals from being the God of Wilderness he could have transformed into a Kraken once so people started worshipping this Kraken form so it did not hurt them when they are fishing and allows the to fish in its territory. This aspect is mainly worshipped in the South because it is mostly fishing villages on the coast. The powers König gets from this are the ability to control the ocean and sea storms and he can’t “grant” to his followers for this aspect as he isn’t really aware of this aspect yet.

  Fertility- This is inspired by @stariepie 's idea for God König, and I hope she is okay with this, and if not I don't mind removing it as I don't know if she doesn’t mind me expanding on the idea. I see König being worshipped as the God of Fertility due to how much of a fine specimen of a man he is, like who wouldn’t and I see him as a family man, so it just works. This aspect is worshipped anywhere because people want to have kids. The powers König gets from this is boosted fertility and being good at you know what and he can grant a boost of fertility to his followers for this aspect.

  Physique- This is inspired by @stariepie 's idea for God König, and I hope she is okay with this, and if not I don't mind removing it as I don't know if she doesn’t mind me expanding on the idea. I see König being worshipped as the God of Physique due to him in my eyes being one of the perfect specimens of a man based on my type, he could easily protect his family and he could give the best of cuddles and he is carrying a whole battle axe down there. This aspect is mainly worshipped in the North because his physique would be most suited for the North region and the men who survive the most there would be like him as you need to be strong and warm to live there. The power König gets from this is his amazing physique and he can grant advantages to get stronger and more muscular to his followers for this aspect.

  Secrets/Mysteries- I see König being worshipped as the God of Secrets/Mysteries due to how mysterious he would be to most humans and because canonically we know virtually nothing about actual König but also due to how I think König tries to hide his past and plans to make it easier for him to achieve his goal. This aspect is mainly worshipped by people who worship König as to not piss him off but not because they actually care about him.   Music/Poetry/Literature- I see König being worshipped as the God of Music/Poetry/Literature due to how I envision each God having a wholesome part of their aspects which is worshipped and I envision these for him as I think it fits him as I get the vibe he’d probably be a poetry snob and enjoy learning to play and actually playing instruments even if most are too small for him, plus it’s a nod to all the AI covers people make of him singing. This aspect is mainly worshipped by artists because it first came about due to artists romanticising the aspects of König, and he was seen as a martyr for the outcasts of society, which artists tend to be, so he became their God in return. The powers König gets from this is the ability to be able to play most instruments and have a beautiful singing voice, and he can grant the ability to have a breakthrough song or poem to his followers for this aspect.

  Madness- I see König being worshipped as the God of Madness due to his social anxiety and the paranoia it causes as I have social anxiety myself which causes me to have paranoia, and I thought it would be cool nod to his social anxiety and how he is feared on the field even by the people he is rescuing. This aspect is mainly worshipped by a select few cults, which would mostly be his most original followers. The powers König gets from this aspect is to cause madness and panic, which is generally in the form of paranoia or anxiety through his screams or he can cause people to become paranoid to the point of changing their memories to something that involves him, and he can grant the ability to cause madness in the enemies of his followers for this aspect.

  Royalty- I see König being worshipped as the God of Royalty due to how in German ‘König’ means King, so I thought it was fitting, and royals would see him as powerful and would want him on their side so they could continue ruling. This aspect is mainly worshipped by royalty all over the world. The powers König gets from this are nothing but just being known as the favourite God of certain royal families and he is seen to grant strong heirs to his royal followers for this aspect.

  Lost/Forgotten/Outcasts- I see König being worshipped as the God of the Lost/Forgotten/Outcasts due to the backstory I made for him and with his backstory of being bullied outside the AU as I can see how he’d relate to people who are outcasted from society or forgotten about especially for physical differences. This aspect is mainly worshipped by people who are outcasts. König doesn’t exactly have any powers for this aspect, but he has an elite form of guards who are outcasts that he picked out himself as he saw something in them that no one else could, and he uses these guards to protect certain areas that are extremely sacred to him. I could honestly spend hours explaining each aspect and the backstory of how he got it and how it would be worshipped and explain the influences more clearly, but that is the basics for each one, and if I get permission I may go into them more and explain them more.

Strength of the aspects from strongest to weakest: -Madness -Lost/Forgotten/Outcasts -Shadows -Death -Mountains/Caves -Wildlife/Nature/Earth -Secrets/Mysteries -Physique -Royalty -Oceans -Music/Poetry/Literature

My inspiration for God König was actually Persephone due to her history as it's really interesting, and the same for Pan as his history is really interesting as well. I ask you to please watch Overly Sarcastic Productions' videos on the two Gods (their video about Persephone and Hermes as it depicts the history of the two) since if you do, my ideas will make a lot more sense, but I will do a summary.   Persephone and Demeter predated the Greek Pantheon due to their mysterious cult and were already associated with Death due to being linked to Poseidon before the Pantheon we know, as he was originally the God of the Underworld, which linked to the Earth and the God of the Oceans as that was seen more important at that time. Persephone had many titles and many things associated with her since people didn't directly talk about her due to being genuinely terrified of her as she was powerful and she was a Dread Goddess linked to Death.    Pan is equally as mysterious as Persephone as he is described as a rustic, ancient God of the wilderness and was primarily worshipped exclusively in Arcadia like Persephone. Barely anything is known about him, but we know he's the reason we panic due to the noises he would make.

I also have a backstory for König, which isn't totally figured out yet, but here is what I have so far. So König started off as a God of Madness and Death. He wasn't well known or worshipped at all as being a God of Madness and Death; no one wanted to worship him as those things are associated with very negative things, which caused König to be extremely jealous of the Gods that were being worshipped, which affected his insecurity. So, as the God of Death, he started going and killing other Gods and taking their place; it's why he suddenly appeared as he previously had no worshippers, and he took over the place of one God. The first aspect was the aspect of being the God of Shadows from Graves, and this started by having a cult in a ring of assassins, who needed the shadows to do their job, as he used his powers as the God of Madness to change the minds of that cult to believe he was the original God of Shadows the entire time. But, our dear König got greedy and cocky with his new sense of power and wanted more, so he sent out his assassins when on their killing missions to spread the word of him. Now each assassin was given a different aspect to start cults on depending on the region he was in. These original members are his original court and infested many small cults and would build them up until König was worshipped for that aspect more than the original God, which boosted his power but weakened the powers of those Gods, giving him the chance to go in and kill them. And König isn't going to stop until he gets someone to pacify him or until he's the God of everything, as he wants all the power and he's paranoid about being forgotten and being reduced to a powerless God again.

I imagine König to look very cryptid-like to fit his theme of being inspired by a Dread God and to fit how mysterious and all-encompassing he is. For his body, I say that he is tanned, as I mentioned earlier, as we see that he is somewhat tanned in Desidia and Ghillie Monster skins, and I see him as an outdoorsman, but he would be the tallest God and be a mountain of a man in his height but also in his build, as I imagine him to be pure muscle with a layer of fat on top so think of something similar to a dad bod but muscular which makes him all the more warm and cuddly. Now I see him as someone who is a bit hairy, and for his hair colour, I’m basing on my own family where we are dark strawberry blonde, but at different angles it looks like different colours, so from the back he could look ginger or the front he looks blonde since I can’t pick one colour for him and I thought it would look so pretty on him. I think his head hair, it’s long and puffy to the point that when he takes his mask off, just a bush of hair falls out and it’s an absolute wild mess. His body is riddled with scars, but some noticeable ones would be his cleft lip scar, a clipping of his right ear which is missing, one that runs down the whole of his spine, multiple stab wounds going from the upper area of the left of his chest to the lower of the right of his chest, a burn scar on the top of the right side of his forehead and the bottom left side of his face, and multiple scars on his hands from when the knife in his hand would slip out or from when he was stopping attacks. I feel like his tattoos would either be runes or statement pieces of animals, and he would have piercings in his ears which use bones of bandits he has killed. For his clothing, I imagine him using a mask which is a deer skull with a veil coming out of the bottom of it to cover his face, and he mostly wears furs from a mixture of furs from elk, bears, and wolves -mostly so he can transform into them to scare off hunters from his temple- which he uses as a cloak and to cover his lower half but I would imagine him not covering his chest as a cocky show of strength and to show off his body in general as he is proud of it. For decoration, I see him having chains/necklaces that have small trinkets on them as references to what aspects he has (e.g. for Ocean he has a belt-like chain of shark teeth, but for Wilderness he has vines wrapping around his body, but for Death he uses bones as decorations).

I'd say his sacred animal would either be an eagle due to it being the national animal of Austria and Germany as an eagle represents boldness, power, and victory, which fit König well, or it could be a wolf due to The Wolf skin König has, but also due to how I headcanon him as part Serbian due to @would_tbh on X/Twitter and for the family history I headcanon him to have and due to how wolves are Serbian’s national animal and it fits him well as wolves are described as lone creatures which fits his social anxiety but also how they’re pack animals which fits how König has his own team he has to take care of as a Colonel and wolves are supposed to represent loyalty, strong family ties, good communication, education, understanding, and intelligence which you’d need to be a Colonel and I see him being a big family man. Although I have two more unique choices of what his sacred animal could be. The first is a bear, as in Germanic regions, it was used to represent a warrior, which fits our big guy well and bears are big just like him, and bears can be deadly or cuddly like him as well. While for Indigenous people, a bear can represent strength, family, vitality, courage, health, thoughtfulness and independence, with little need for fellowship with it being self-contained and strong-willed in nature, which are all attributes I would associate with our Colonel. But my second and most unique choice is a winged boar. This is due to how wild boars are surprisingly shy animals that generally try to avoid humans, which fits how the fandom sees König as shy even though he’d probably just want to avoid other people; however, wild boars are also formidable assholes -I don’t get recommended being chased by one- when cornered or angry or threatened so it has come to represent courage and ferocity. The reason why I say a winged boar though is due to Khrysaor, as it was supposed a winged boar that was born when Medusa’s head was cut off. I thought this could be a nod to the eagle, but also a nod to how Medusa’s eyes are deadly as they can turn anyone to stone and the only part of König that isn’t covered is his eyes, and if he were to look at you, with his size and demeanour, you’d probably freeze on the spot like you were a stone statue.

König's relationship with the other gods is messy, and when I say messy I mean messy:

  Ghost- Fucking hate each other. Just plain enemies to the point that they have fake versions of each other in their temples that they train with and brutally murder. König hates Ghost as due to Ghost being the God of War, Strength, and Fertility; he is König's biggest enemy due to how much power and influence Ghost has since it's an equal amount to König and Ghost has the strength as the God of War and Strength to be able to attack König and actually be able to beat him in combat. While Ghost hates König as some people have started worshipping König for fertility instead of Ghost, and due to Ghost thinking Madness should be under the aspects that Ghost is the God of as Madness induced by Fear and Panic is what is experienced in War (this is based on the sons of Ares: Deimos and Phobos).

  Soap- Surprisingly, these two actually get along. I imagine Soap is also the God of Art, as in painting and drawing, so the two get along due to their love of the arts. Soap loves making paintings of König's poems, songs, or stories, and in turn, König loves making songs, poems, or stories based on Soap's drawings or paintings. They are also friends as Soap being the God of Spring means that König's nature flourishes more and is reborn after it's destroyed by Makarov in Winter.

  Gaz- This is based on how people replace Gaz with König but these two are hostile to each other. The reason why I say this is because Gaz is the God of the Hunt, König is the God of Wildlife. To hunt in König's forests and kill the animals under his protection, you need his permission and sacrifice some of the hunt to him. Gaz did not do that as he didn't know, and Gaz accidentally killed König's favourite winged boar, which pissed König off greatly, so he went to fight Gaz and so the two have hated each other ever since.

  Krueger- I headcanon Krueger and König to be cousins, so these two do get along but they annoy each other like all cousins do as even not in the Gods AU, I see König as the older cousin who used to be the main problem maker of the family before Krueger -who was an accident- was born; they may not have much of an age difference as I see it as König being five years older, but once König realised that Krueger was as chaotic as him, or even more so, he would get Krueger to do his schemes with him or just encouraging Krueger’s schemes. But back to the AU, originally, Krueger was a more powerful God than König, but as König grew in power, he became more powerful than Krueger, but as they have that cousin love for each other König helped Krueger by giving him an aspect or two that he didn't want. I don't know what Krueger would be the God of, but I know it would link to König somehow.

  Makarov- I headcanon Makarov to be the God of Winter and Plagues. This has caused him and König to be respectful rivals as sadly Makarov's plagues and Winter kill König's animals and nature but he benefits from Makarov's plagues killing people as it means he has more souls due to people dying. Makarov, like König is trying to kill the other Gods to become more powerful, so it has caused a rivalry. Makarov is slightly jealous of König being the God of Death but the two do have some respect for each other because of their similar goals and how their aspects affect each other.

  Valeria- I headcanon that Valeria is the Goddess of Deserts and Poisons/Venoms. She and König both don't like Alejandro since König sees him as a risk due to Alejandro being the God of Rage like @stariepie said, and as we see in the campaign, she hates Alejandro. So due to both having a mutual dislike of him, they made an alliance where Valeria's poisonous and venomous animals are protected in König's forest, and in return, König has oases through Valeria's deserts so his followers can have some water when traveling through to get him more followers.

  Horangi- Everyone headcanons these two as friends, and I do too, so I imagine these two became friends as Horangi is the God of Bad Luck and Gambling; one time challenged König to a game of Matgo where the first to get enough points to say "Go" then "Stop" got to take an aspect from the other God. Horangi, due to being the God of Bad Luck, lost but König liked Horangi's balls to challenge him to such a challenge, so he gave Horangi the aspect of tigers from König's aspect of Wildlife, which made Horangi also the God of Tigers.

  Roach- I headcanon that Roach is also a God of Outcasts, but unlike König who focuses more on people who are outcasted due to their physical appearance, instead Roach focuses more on people who are outcasted due to being different by having a mental disability as I see him as autistic and mute. They are allies since they are the only few people who are accepting of outcasts and they sometimes trade their chosen outcasts with each other as I also see König having autism and sometimes he sees one of Roach’s outcasts that he thinks is a lot like him and the same with Roach as König may have an outcast who’s mute due to a physical disability or scarring.

  Price- Based on @stariepie 's idea of God Price being the God of Knowledge and Wisdom and my idea of him also being the God of Stratedy makes König either fear or be uncomfortable about Price. Unlike with Ghost, who constantly fights or acts snarky with König which created the hatred for each other on top of the other issues, Price doesn’t take notice of König as he just sees König as another God but does judge König’s friendliness with Makarov. But, König fears Price due to that, as König is smart enough to understand that with Price being the literal God of Knowledge it means that Price knows König’s weaknesses and knows ways to defeat him, which does not help König’s anxiety-induced paranoia as he sees Price’s indifference as Price plotting something.   Graves- Our poor Phillip hates König for obvious reasons. I also see Graves as the original God of Shadows because he started the Cult of Shadows, which was a ring of assassins, but König accidentally became it as well as some assassins saw him and thought oh Death God if we worship him he could help us kill more König saw it as a perfect opportunity to steal his first aspect by making them think he was the God of Death and Shadows. This, of course, created hate between him and Phillip as Graves sees him as an undeserving thief who’s overstepping and trying to take over, while König hates Phillip as half of all assassins still worship Graves and König thinks that they should be worshipping him.

One little fun fact: a headcanon I have for God König is he is actually the God that gets sick the most as he is the blood type AB- as seen on The Wolf skin and said on the wiki, and all my relatives that are AB+ or (especially) AB- get sick really easily and seriously so I imagine him to be the worst when he’s sick; he genuinely makes man-flu seem like it’s nothing as he’s overdramatic and tries to push through it even if he is near enough dying.

Sorry about this, but I'm just a giant König fanboy and adore this man and have so many fucking ideas and headcanons for this man which I may post at a later date if anyone is interested because I have so fucking many, and I have made a full backstory and family tree and the same goes for Price, Makarov, and Soap which I can talk about for days. If I have anything more to add to it, I'll probably post it or send it to @frogchiro 's inbox, but if you have questions, you should honestly ask her as it’s her AU unless I get permission from her to answer the ones I receive.

Now, if either person mentioned in this are uncomfortable with this or needs me to remove anything, just please tell me, and I'll remove it when I see it. But I hope they are okay with me expanding it with my own ideas, but if not I do not mind removing it. If there’s anything offensive or any mistakes, please tell me. I also may come back and edit this at a later point if I think I need to. I just saw the posts and got inspired as I adore König, especially God König. Also sorry if the formatting is weird this is my first ever post on Tumblr instead of being a lurker so I may change the format if I'm not happy with it and if I need to add any tags to this I will just tell me if I need to.

-This is Ozzie signing out, and I hope you have a fantastic night.

[slightlyhozy]

“Through the Cold, I’ll Find my Way Back to You.”

Chapter 2: “All my love and terror, balanced there between those eyes.”

Characters: Púca! Andrew Hozier-Byrne x Original Female Character

Summary: Maisie Quinn, after inheriting a home in Ireland from her late grandmother, slowly learns a dark past about the land in which it was built on.

Word Count - 2,098

Warnings - None except for animal death and descriptions of their bodies

A/N - I’m still learning how to write longer chapters, I will get better!

That day, I had looked into whatever the hell this Púca was. Seeing that it wasn’t necessarily a danger in any stories made my anxiety ease, which was a bit embarrassing since I didn’t even believe that it existed.

Closing my laptop, I looked around my new bedroom, the wooden floors were effortlessly dusty and cracked. Grunting, I opened my laptop again, in pursuit of finding someone in the area to install new flooring in certain rooms.

Settling was getting easier despite the fact Mary was the only person I really knew, On a good note, I already had a form in for a commission out in Dublin; they wanted me to paint a mural in the lobby of their office building. I figured the best way to go about living in a new country was to make connections anyway.

——————————————————————

That night, I lay with Lenny in my arms, surrounded by blankets, as some movie played. I pressed a kiss on his head as we cuddled. My mind kept drifting back to the monster, my mind constantly justifying why it wasn’t real; I knew it wasn’t real. I thought about the property and area surrounding it; there were never any bad vibes; it always seemed normal.

While thoughts scurried around my head, a familiar scratch caught me off guard, making me jump. The fox.

My head turned to the door, sighing, I was tempted to go and feed the fox. Thinking back to my conversation with Elsie, interfering with wildlife really wasn’t a good idea. I had just moved here, I should at least put the effort into making a good impression, if not to anyone in particular.

As my dog growled, his attention turned to the door, and I began to pet him in an attempt to calm him down. I understood he tended to be protective of me but never like this, over an animal. “Lenny, shhh.” Scratching behind his ears, he whimpered towards the door, moving to lay back beside me.

Trying to focus on the movie, I could hear the creature outside screaming for attention, it was borderline eerie. I continued to sit, it wasn’t my place to feed it, that was the fox’s job.

After ten minutes, I couldn't handle it anymore. Turning off the TV, I stood up and walked to the stairs, going up to my bedroom for the night.

——————————————————————

I grumbled, pulling weeds from the gravel of the garden. I had been at it for hours now, only joined by the sound of Van Morrison singing in my ears and the chirps of birds in the trees. Other than the labor, it was therapeutic.

Sitting back, I took a swig of water, looking around the garden. The weather had been nice, it was early September, so the weather had started getting colder than it was before. The sky was white, and the trees were less vibrant. As I pulled out the invasive plants, my eyebrows raised as my eyes fell on a small mouse.

The furry rodent in question was undoubtedly dead, but the only injury was a bloody wound on its side. As I continued to pull weeds, 3 more bodies were found. Initially, I believed that there was a cat that lurked in my garden, but then also the lack of injury or puncture to the bodies made no sense. I felt as though I was turning into a skeptic or just feeling the effects of my disorder. Before I could spiral, I was brought back to life by a bird call.

Looking up into the tree, I immediately recognized the black stripe along its eyes, much like a bandit’s mask. Oh. It was a shrike, I wasn’t even aware they had those in Ireland. Internally, I thanked myself for having a bird phase, otherwise, I would be sent into a phase of paranoia over dead mice. Still, I was puzzled around the fact that the mice weren’t eaten, simply impaled, then dropped.

I wasn’t too sure what could be wrong with the animals in the area, perhaps there’s a disease spreading amongst species. I wasn’t informed enough to really have a clue, but it was almost creepy.

While I pondered, another bird flew next to perch beside the shrike. After a moment, the two began to squawk and fight with eachother, their beaks clashing. Not being interested in watching what could happen to the smaller bird picking a fight with a brutal predator, I collected my garden tools and water bottle, making my way back to the house.

Lenny was sniffing around the yard as I cleared out the mouse corpses, like I had the other animal on my porch. The sun was slowly setting, and all I could think about was getting a proper drink and starting on a personal art project, the subject of which is still a mystery to me.

——————————————————————

Over the next few nights, the fox seemed to only get more aggressive. I frowned as I stared at my front door, this time, a dead rabbit was left. Did it think that I ran out of food? The rabbit itself would be unedible if I even wanted to eat it, it was completely squished, presumably roadkill. The wood along the door had been scratched, deep. A shiver ran up my spine as my finger reached out to trace the marks, the light inner wood going about half an inch deep. I wasn’t even sure how it was possible, but I also knew that I would now have to invest in new flooring and a door.

I was a bit worried that it would attack me if I didn’t feed it; with no evidence to back this up, any creak or sound outside would make me jump. When I slept, I dreamt of it attacking me or Lenny. So now, after three nights of ignoring the animal, I decided to give in.

It was almost one in the morning, finally, my couch had been installed, freeing me from the pain of having to haul my long limbs off the ground. With a small tub of ice cream in my hand, I was binge-watching Breaking Bad. The sound of Walter White monologing went through one ear, out the other as I anxiously awaited the arrival of the fox. I was almost worried it wouldn’t come. Why was I worried? Why wouldn’t I want it gone?

As if it were summoned, a familiar squaking woke me from my thoughts, immediately sending me to pause my show and put my ice cream somewhere Lenny couldn’t reach. I shushed him with my finger to my lips. As I went to look through the window. To my expectations, the small animal stood on the top of the steps, its green eyes gleaming under the poarch light.

Afraid of any chances of Lenny putting himself in danger, I led the dog to the study, shutting him inside, the door muffling his barks and growls.

In the kitchen, I worked to fix a wet bowl of dog food and a scoop of pumpkin purée on top. Opening the door, the fox stood expectantly. I set the bowl down, quickly moving to shut the glass door so I could see it eat. Again, it’s eyes stalked me as it ate eagerly, as if I had starved it. Perhaps it couldn’t hunt, wouldn’t…? If it couldn’t, where were these dead animals coming from?

——————————————————————

Fresh air. Fresh air was what I needed, space, was what I needed.

The morning after the encounter with the fox, I decided to go to the beach with Lenny. Throwing on a grey knit sweater, black jeans, boots, and a beanie, I clip on Lenny’s leash, his tail wagging faster than it had in a long time. As I go outside, I make sure to clean up the brutalized hedgehog left on my porch, the guts splattered across my porch. As I cleaned up the insides, visibly unhappy, I simultaneously fought Lenny back from eating it.

Smelling the sea was a specific kind of nostalgia, the beach itself wasn’t too different than some back in Washington. The air kisses my cheeks as I fight it, the clashing waves soothing my ears. I clutched the leash, hoping he wouldn’t try and run along the beach.

I felt grateful that there was no one in the morning, just me, my coffee, and my dog. I wonder if I was becoming a loner, back home, I seemed to be going out every day, with friends and making them as well. Now, all I had available was Mary. As much as I enjoyed some alone time, I wondered how long it would take until it became too lonely for me, I wondered how long it would be until I found a routine with my work, more clients, and when I would meet local artists.

Taking in the scent again, I closed my eyes, the cool wind making me feel more grounded and alive than I had in a year. Keeping them closed, I continued to walk into what seemed to be a never-ending path, curving around the water.

As if enjoying my solitude was too much, my eyes scrunched up as my shoulder was bumped. My eyes shot open as I helplessly watched my coffee cup fall against the sand, the contents leaking into the grains. Lenny immediately went to investigate, sniffing and licking the spill.

After picking up the cup, I look up the figure that disrupted my walk. He was tall. Around 9 inches taller than me, his nose and cheeks were a dusty pink from the cold, the coloration obvious from the cold weather.

His beard was nicely groomed, but his hair was messy and greasy.  Above his pronounced cheekbone, there was a small, healing cut across the skin. His eyes were cold and endless, not kind but not uninviting. Where the hell did he even come from?

“Sorry… Uh, I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t too sure why I was apologizing, according to my therapist, it was one of my weakest traits. The stranger stepped back, sizing me up.

He didn’t reply, I could hear Lenny by my side, growling lowly. “Really, sorry, he’s just protective... I promise he’s a good dog.”

“It’s alright.” His voice was deep, rich, and smooth like honey, he was hansome in general, just unsettling. He brushed a gloved hand through his brown curls, his green eyes following me.

I wasn’t sure what to do, I was pretty desperate for interactions, and he only seemed 10 years older than me at most. “Nice weather?” I cringed at my terrible use of small talk.

“Alright. Cold.”

“I mean, it usually is... cold.” Awkwardly, I itched at my neck, unsure what to do. “I’m Maisie.” I held my hand out, his eyes just darting to stare at it, not accepting it.

“Andrew. Are you American?”

I swallowed nervously, I didn’t want to come off as an uneducated, arrogant American prick. “Uh, well, yes, I just moved in... I live over..east..” My arm extended to point towards my home.

“I know.” My face immediately grew concerned, he knew? How?

“What do you mean?”

He didn’t reply.

“Andrew… Do you live around here? Or do you like, drive down here for walks.” His brows furrow, as if I were asking something invasive.

“I live near here, I like water.” His hand reaches up to scratch at the scab forming on his face, I notice how one of his glove fingers has the tip torn off.

I nod along awkwardly, maybe he didn’t get out much? “Yeah, me too... It’s nice to live this close to the ocean.” He doesn't answer again. “I lived in Seattle, so I was really far away from the ocean, sometimes, we’d go visit family on the coast.”

His brows furrow. “Where’s that?”

“Washington? Uh, it’s in the Pacific Northwest of America; Kurt Cobain was born there.” He seemed clueless. “Oh…” My face furrows with concern as I see blood, almost black, start to drip down his face. “You…your scab… It’s kind of..” I try to point it out casually, not trying to be rude.

Moving his hand away, Andrew moves to lick his finger, his brows raising. “Oh,” He doesn’t seem too concerned with the color of his blood as he observes it. “Habit.”

“Right,” As I am about to speak more, my phone rings—the flooring installers I had been talking to. “Oh, sorry, I need to take this.” I whisper to him as I back up, pressing my phone to my ear. He just gives me a weak wave as I turn away, waiting for my turn in the cue.

As I turned back around not even a minute later to say goodbye, he was gone. Andrew. The weirdest and one of the rudest men I had ever met.

A/N: ANDREW DOESNT STAY LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME I PROMISE HE ISNT BORING

[botanyshitposts]

just wanted to say that some months ago i went on a bit of a "mental illness tangent" and wrote down every single native species to my county, including its light and water needs. may or may not have been spurred on by some topic you mentioned...

one side effect i learned with that is that apparently i live in like. the ONE area of the us that doesn't really use fire much as a part of it's ecosystem, once you're inland beyond the pine barrens on the coast, obvs. kinda funny idk. like you have a whole continent that has large fire use in varying ways, and then in little old new england in the old mountains where apparently fire has not been present in 8000 years from research from sediments.

hi! just want you to know that this is both academic and political direct action in my mind and i think every community should have at least one person who knows what local Guys are supposed to be there and what they need.

next step would be to go see which ones you can actually find in remnant forests and stuff. if any dudes are missing it's an active cause for concern and you can start the process of finding Whoever In Local Government Is In Charge Of That, and you would be surprised to know that usually there is at least one person who's like, kind of supposed to be in charge of it but nobody pays attention to plants so it slipped under the radar, etc. or if you want to do more research first or want to know where to look you can go try to see when it was last actually spotted, because from my experience a lot of old sources from like, 1802 just get grandfathered in to modern records and you realize nobody's actually checked to see if these things are still there lately.

to check your own work against, plants.usda.gov has an online database that in theory is an up-to-date record of all plants in every state in the country-- notice that i say every state, because not all states specify sightings or populations by county, which is unhelpful for actually going out and seeing them near you. on a state-by-state basis, some states have their own databases which narrow it down to county, and then from there you can see which sources they cite and check to see how old they are. note that the usda cites the flora of north america as their primary source for the species ive personally come across, which is good because the flora of north america is crowd-funded, organized, written, and published by actual academics in the botanical community who go searching for these things and they have names and email addresses you can use to contact them, plus the completed families are free to access online on their website. because of the amount of people retiring with no replacement, however, it's still good to follow up.

im...nebulous on my understanding of who is supposed to be checking up on these guys in the government. either the USDA or the fish and wildlife service is the arm that's supposed to be regulating plants listed as endangered in your area, or at least enforcing poaching laws, and if it's something high profile they probably do, but then you look at the endangered species list in your state and see a guy you know hasn't been seen in quite some time and you have to wonder where they're getting their data, if they're doing their own internal surveys, if you can even access that kind of information because of the need to be careful around disclosing the locations of endangered plants, if this local Guy has actually genuinely slipped through the cracks of bureaucracy and has lost whatever fractionally small area of land it used to have in your county/surrounding county/state, if anybody is even paying attention, etc. it seems like your best bet comes down to contacting the one other person whos super into them

and then you go on inaturalist to see if anyone else has seen it and nobody has and anyway thats how you go insane

[dearheart42regenerated]

re-emerging from my brainstorming/writing cave to say I THINK I JUST CONFIRMED??? A BIG WORLDBUILDING PUZZLE PIECE???

on a whim after rewatching The Duke Of Detroit Presents, I googled "copper canyon detroit"...and surprise surprise, "Copper Canyon" is an ACTUAL NICKNAME for a stretch of neighborhood areas in Detroit, apparently between Far West Detroit/Parkland and Warrendale:

looking up those areas on google maps will show you this:

so. the burners have to cross "copper canyon" to get to the refinery. which means that ALLLLL OF THIS

-- a big stretch of land that was once filled with neighborhoods and surrounded by huge parks -- now looks like THIS:

all those neighborhoods, all that nature and wildlife...everything's gone. completely wiped out. replaced by craters and a literal CANYON.

why is Kane so obsessed with safety, peace and order?

why is Motorcity encased in what essentially functions as a giant metal dome/cage?

all of these environmental clues were pretty big hints (the bomb symbols/sirens, the mutants, the toxic waste issues, mentioning the areas beyond Detroit being a "wasteland", etc) but I think the sheer scale of devastation we see in Copper Canyon officially clinches it - Doomsday definitely happened and certain areas of Detroit got MAJORLY fucked up by the apocalypse/nuclear war.

so now that this IS confirmed (for me lol), I have SO many questions about where in the timeline it happened and when Motorcity's "cage" (possible shield???) was actually built.

did Kane build this cage specifically for his Deluxe project?

or did he initially do it to shield/protect Detroit from further catastrophe and then use it as the foundation?

OR did the cage already exist (in whole or in part) before Kane's time? did he simply build Deluxe on top of what had already been put over Motorcity?

WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE WRITERS GONNA SHOW US IN THOSE SEASON 2 WORLDBUILDING EPISODES THEY WANTED TO DO and more importantly WHICH POSSIBILITY AM I SUPPOSED TO CONSTRUCT MY OWN PERSONAL SEASON 2 AROUND FUUUUUUCK IM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND HERE

[osleeplessflowero]

i watched sleeping beauty again and was enlightened. enjoy! 📖 Fairytale AU series! This time featuring Blue <3 ❤️ Reader is Gender Neutral as always, SOUL is up to you!

- 🗡Previous Oneshot - Next Oneshot (Soon)

It's a beautiful day outside. (Not that kind!) The sun shines brightly in the sky, birds sing songs to one another as they fly through the skies right above your head. You smile as you walk along a forest path, surrounded by glowing mushrooms and gorgeous flowers. Wandering through, you make your way over to some berry bushes and pick them, gently placing them into a basket in your left hand with a grin.

A few of the forest animals notice you, deciding to accompany you in your travels. Squirrels, birds, even a few deer. Seems you've got quite the audience for some berry picking. You smile amusedly as a robin lands on your shoulder.

"My my, there's certainly a lot of you, isn't there?"

You hear a variety of animal sounds in reply.

"Well, I don't mind that. The more the merrier." You chuckle, spotting some strawberries and picking them after ensuring they're ripe. You decide to spare some blueberries you'd found earlier to them, the gesture very much so appreciated.

You've been walking a while..perhaps it would be best to take a rest. Humming, you walk over to a lone tree stump and sit on it, resting your legs beside a stream. The animals surround you, seeming to want to take a rest as well.

"I didn't know I'd be making so many friends today." You smile, gently petting the head of the bird that's still on your shoulder with your fingers. It promptly chirps in response.

Feeling more at ease, you hum a familiar tune as the animals surround you that echoes throughout the area.

. . .

Two knights wander through the forest. Both skeletons, one much taller than the other. Both very bright eyed and seeking adventure. The taller skeleton has armor with themes of red, the shorter one wearing themes of blue.

The shorter one swings his sword around. "So, What Do You Think We'll Find Today, Papyrus? I'm Hoping We'll Find Somewhere New To Explore! Or Maybe An Enemy To Defeat To Save Someone." He pretends to attack an invisible enemy, making "swoosh"ing sounds.

"Nyeh Heh, I Wouldn't Doubt Either Of Those Happening, Blue! We'll Simply Have To See What The Day Brings Before We Must Return Home To Our Brothers. And Probably Find Them Asleep." He sighs, putting a hand on his hip as he walks. Blue lets out an amused chuckle.

"Yeah, That Sounds Like Them." He grins, amused by the scenario he's grown so familiar with.

Blue's focus is interrupted when he hears the sound of someone singing, turning his head towards the trees beside them.

"Blue? Is Something The Matter?" Papyrus asks, curious as to what's distracted his fellow knight.

"I Hear Something..Be Right Back!" He runs off.

"BLUE! DON'T GO RUNNING INTO UNKNOWN TERRITORY!" Papyrus shouts after him, sighing again. "That Skeleton.. We May Be Incredibly Alike, But I Can Still See Bits Of My Brother Within Him." He shakes his head and decides to take a moment to rest. His legs had admittedly grown a little tired.

Blue chases the sound of someone's voice, the sound like a siren's call to him, luring him in. He can't help but be a little curious. it's not every day you hear something like this out in the woods! Let alone a sound this..lovely.

He runs, following the sound to the best of his ability with a bright smile before he comes to a stop.. stepping past a tree and spotting you, finishing off your song with closed eyes and surrounded by very different animals.

When you open them, your eyes go wide at the sight of the skeleton, not having expected to see anybody. Your cheeks flush a little too, not having expected anyone to overhear. Well, apart from the wildlife that is.

He grins when he realizes you've noticed him, before backtracking a little. He did just show up unannounced..

"Oh! I'm Terribly Sorry, I Didn't Mean To Scare You." "Oh, no no, it- it's not that, it's just.." "You Didn't Think Anyone Would Hear?" "Yeah." The animals watch your interactions curiously. "I'm not usually one to speak to strangers."

"Well, Then I May As Well Introduce Myself! We Wouldn't Be Strangers Anymore Then." A cheeky grin makes its way onto his face.

You smile amusedly at this.

He bows, making your smile grow a little. "My Name Is Blue, A Knight Of The Swappe Kingdom. It's A Pleasure To Meet You!"

You stand up, bowing back to him. A gesture he's pleasantly surprised by. You tell him your name, "It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Sir Blue. A Knight all the way out here in the woods? Whatever could be the occasion?" You smile, raising a brow.

"Well, I Happened To Be Travelling With A Companion Of Mine To Go Find Any Quests To Complete. Ah, I've- I've Left Him Behind!- ..I'm..Sure He Can Handle Himself Just Fine."

You chuckle, putting your hand over your mouth. He smiles sheepishly.

"See, I'd Heard You And..I Really Wanted To Know Who Owned Such A Nice Sounding Voice. So I Ran Over Impulsively."

You smile. "Well..I'm happy you liked it." Your face flushes a little. "I'm a bit..shy about it. I don't usually sing in front of people."

"I Can Understand That, But In Truth Your Voice Is Very Lovely! You Shouldn't Hide It."

"Well..thank you." you mutter in reply.

There's a comfortable moment of silence, before Blue disturbs the peace. "Ah, I..I Should Be Heading Back Now."

"Yes.. um..it was nice meeting you, Blue." "Could I..See You Again?" "Where?" "Here, Tomorrow?" "I'd like that." You smile, him smiling at you in return before he hears his companion shout for him. He's startled, abruptly starting to back up.

"I'll See You Soon!" He shouts, running away out of sight. "I'll be here!" You shout back, grinning as he fades from your view. You turn back to the animals, finding them a bit more smug than they were before..

"Don't look at me like that!" You shout, your face flushing brighter as you're met with various animal noises.

"Blue, There You Are! Whatever Happened?" "I Wanted To Go Investigate Something, Sorry If I Worried You."

Papyrus sighs. "Very Well, But Don't Go Running Off Without Telling Me Why Next Time!" "Understood!" Blue chuckles as they walk along the path they'd intended to before.

[m1d-45]

Hi,um this is my first time so I'm sorry if the requests are close.So I read a few genshin sagau and what would happen if the reader get smaller if they don't receive love?Like,they turn younger and younger.And 1 of the character found them but instead if the so called imposter, they find a child?What would happen

Again,im sorry.If the requests are close,then pls ignore me.im more scared of getting a reply😭

the young

a/n: requests are open, don’t worry! personally, i don’t plan on ever properly ‘closing’ them, only delaying / putting them on second priority for whatever reason. thank you for sending in a request, and if this isn’t what you wanted, then feel free to ask again!

word count: ~1.3k

-> warnings: unedited stream of consciousness, but not much else! imposter au. slight mention of addiction, probably obsessive behavior / thoughts… rip to klee / diona / dori / sayu / qiqi mains. mad respect though.

-> lowercase intended!

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky

at first, you didn’t notice.

teyvat, in its loving kindness, had kept you safe after you’d been run out of the city. boars made sure nobody got too close, cranes kept watch, birds fluttered around your small campsite during the night. your loyal guard, always there, inhuman to some but a blessing to you. the people may not believe you, they may run you out and shout for your capture, but teyvat would always be there.

it would lower the boughs on trees as you mumbled about not being able to reach the fruit, it would send smaller companions as you jumped at the size of a crow, it would lead you to areas with smaller and smaller wildlife, all in the hopes that if it made you happy enough, you would stop shrinking.

when you did notice, you were afraid.

you were sitting on a rock, absentmindedly braiding wildflowers together. they seemed larger than usual in your palms, but so did everything else! your mind told you it was just because teyvat’s plants and animals were bigger than the ones in your world, but you didn’t really believe it.

a large raven carefully landed on the rock besides you, eyes peering at your creation. it was huge, the size of a puppy at least.

…a dog, you correct yourself. no puppy is that large.

the bird hops closer, talons clicking on the stone, beady eyes still watching the wildflowers in your hands. it’s large, unnervingly so, and you swallow before turning back to braiding.

when you reach for another flower, it takes more strength than it should to pull it up.

grass bends under determined shoes, eyes scanning the undergrowth. ferns part, your main ducking under surprisingly low branches. they’d heard from the locals that the imposter was spotted around here, and they needed to be the one to find you.

they couldn’t let down their god. they couldn’t let them down, not when they’d already been punished by being deprived of their aura. they didn’t know what they did, they didn’t receive an answer no matter how hard they begged, but they were certain this could fix it. after all, they were still the favorite, right? they still had their weapon, and their artifacts that had taken ages to collect, and they could still sweep away enemies with the same strength.

all that was missing was the precious aura of being close to the creator, a feeling they would do anything to get back.

the memory spurred them on, even as the thicket grew denser. they did their best to push through, the golden shimmer of their weapon being summoned making up for the lack of light filtering through the leaves, but it’s like the very earth didn’t want them going here.

the thought made them pause, but only momentarily. if the earth didn’t want them there, then that meant it was dangerous, a threat to the people nearby. at the very least, they had to see whatever it was to ensure they could bring the proper amount of backup.

as they cut through the leaves and bushes—doing their best to preserve as much as they could, unwilling to destroy what their god had so lovingly created—they began to feel the same thrill in their bones that came from being near their god. when they first noticed they had to stop their progress, leaning against a tree to mumble a prayer of thanks.

they’d missed this. they’d missed it so deeply, a hole in their soul that nothing could ever fill. from being surrounded by it daily, in and out of battle and other errands, to being stranded without it for months… it could only be compared to an addiction.

when they got their wits about them, they shakily drew their weapon once more. this had to be a reward, right? for going out of their way to protect the people? this had to be a sign, acknowledgment from the only one they truly cared about, and it only reinforced their actions. cutting through the brush was hard, a task of which progress seemed slower and slower with every breath, but this made it worth it.

with a final use of their skill—carefully aimed, as they were well aware of how their hands trembled—the foliage gave way, opening into a beautiful meadow. birds chirped and called, butterflies landed on flowers, and a creek bubbled through the center, emptying into a pool on one side. it was beautiful, an area certainly blessed by their god’s love, and they took a moment to look in awe.

“hello?”

the call of a child snapped them from their thoughts, the feeling of a divine aura pulsing in their veins, and they turned to the source.

a small child was sitting in the grass near the edge of the clearing, butterflies and birds surrounding them like a personal guard. in their hands was a braid of flowers, their clothes stained with dirt and grass.

“hello.”

the favored rushed to try and rationalize the situation, thoughts slowed to a drip of honey by the bliss in the air. this… child had to be the reason they were being blessed, right? their god wanted them to save them from whatever the earth didn’t want them to see, right? perhaps the child was one of their vessels as well? though rare, it wasn’t unheard of..

the child stood from the grass, setting down the flowers and attempting to brush some of the dirt off their clothes. it didn’t work as well as they might have hoped.

they cleared their throat, catching the child’s attention. “you should come with me.”

one of the birds besides the child cawed loudly in protest, flapping its wings. neither payed any mind.

“why?”

‘why’ indeed. they couldn’t exactly explain the entire concept of divinity to somebody so young, and it would surely only give whatever monster lied in wait more time to return. if they were a villager’s kid, they would have heard of them being missing, but they didn’t, so no chance of using the ‘your parent sent me for you’ line…

“somebody very important is looking for you,” they settled, taking a step towards them. “and they’ve sent me to come find you.”

please say yes. please just come with me. i can’t hurt a child. i need you to come with me.

i need their favor once more.

to their relief, the child walked closer to them, and they crouched to meet their eyes. the blessing of their god thudded alongside their own heartbeat, their vision swimming at the edges. this is what they were meant to do. they had to bring this kid to their god. this is how they would be forgiven.

the child said something, something along the lines of trust and belief, but they fell on deaf ears. in an easy motion, the favored picked up the child and stood, walking for where they had entered the meadow.

the kid squirmed in their arms, making themself comfortable, but they didn’t stop marching. exiting was far easier than entering, the leaves no longer seeming to fight them—not that it mattered. they had the key to their god’s favor in their arms, and their blessing in their veins. nothing would stop them from returning to their former position, to where they belonged.

nothing would stop them from returning to their god’s side.

[prismuffin]

Heya! I stumbled across an older (?) lucas grey oneshot you made and saw your requests were open, and since I am having an absolute hitman brainrot atm I wanted to ask if you could write a yan! Agent 47 x gn! Reader oneshot. Doesn’t have to be a huge one, just how life generally would be like with 47 keeping them in the safe house. Reader can be more feisty if you’d like.

Idk if you write yandere content since I couldn’t take it from your request page but if you do I’d love to see this written out, but if you don’t thats totally fine too ofc!

Have a nice day!

A/n: don’t think I’ve ever written yandere content but I don’t mind trying so here it goes! Edit: couldn’t stop myself from turning this into something cute I’m so sorry😭TWO TITLES WOOO

Patience // Garden

yandere!Agent 47 x gn!reader

( summary: as you reflect on life with your captor 47, you indirectly ask to test the boundaries of your confinement )

warnings?: mentions of kidnapping, guns and weapons, possessive 47, anddd Stockholm syndrome!! Gets kinda nice at the end though! Readers depicted to be shorter than 47!

Y/f/f - your favorite flower

!-!more under the cut!-!

You were currently occupying yourself by washing the little amount of dirty dishes you had in your sink. You had hoped the task would stop your mind from wondering but here you were, washing the same cup over and over as your thoughts took over your mind. Currently, he wasn't home, 47. A couple of weeks ago you would've foolishly attempted to escape what others would call captivity. Though now you were a bit wiser. Still, at times like this where he’d leave you alone in his seemingly expensive safe house, you always got to thinking about how you got here.

After apparently catching the eye of the wrong assassin he effortlessly took you as his and only his. When he first brought you here you were obviously scared, but the first thing he did was reassure you that he wouldn’t hurt you. Obviously you didn’t believe him at first and though you may have some emotional scars, he’s never once attempted to physically harm you even after catching you trying to escape him multiple times. He cared for you and seemed to be trying to take things slow, as if he knew he couldn’t just make you love him off the bat. His safe house is rather big and very secluded and he usually spends most of his time in his locked basement where he gets his information for mission and such. Living with an assassin means there’s many weapons hidden and scattered around the safe-house. You like to think it’s a sense of trust, you know the weapons are there but you decide not to use them. You know you’d be overpowered, but you also don’t want to hurt 47 when he’s been nothing but patient and kind with you. You feel conflicted, in the back of your mind you know you shouldn’t care for the man that took you from your home but it’s hard not to when your life is so much easier because of him.

You sigh, placing down the cup in the sink before rinsing your hands and turning off the water. After drying them you found yourself standing by the large windows that showed the forests that surrounded you. A mountain height view of the acres of wildlife discouraged you from attempting to escape the first time you saw it. It used to fill you with such dread as you wondered how you were gonna navigate such a large area of land once you got out but now the view calms you. Your damp hand touches the cold glass as you sigh, though it quickly turns into a gasp as you notice the reflection of a man behind you. You instantly recognize the feeling of his hands as they wrap around your waist, his thumbs rubbing circles along your hips. “It’s just me.” His suave voice fills your ears and you sigh in relief. “You scared me,” you admit, not turning to face him just yet but still leaning back so that his chest his against your back. “I didn’t hear you come in.” You felt him move closer to the side of your face, a hesitant kiss was placed on your cheek, it was pressed so lightly you barely knew it was there. “You look sad,” he began, ignoring your previous statement. “Whats on your mind dear?” He asked, and you sighed. “I was just thinking about…” you trailed off.

Would he like what you had to say? You don’t want to leave him, you just want to step outside. You know there’s a lovely little garden near the front of the house, you see 47 go out to water the plants every other day. You don’t want to leave but you don’t think he fully knows that yet, you can still be a bit apprehensive when it comes to his touch. “Outside.” You finished your thought, clenching your teeth when you felt 47’s movements stop, his calming caresses on your hips being replaced by light pressure as he held back the urge to dig his nails into your skin. He didn’t say a word, and you refused to look at him directly only staring at his reflection that stared back at you with the same stoic expression he always wore. The grip on your waist was the only indicator of how he was feeling. “Not to leave you this time,” you started again, watching the skin of his eyebrows furrow just barely. “I just- want to see the garden! Please…?” Your hands fell to his, resting on top of them as you mimicked the circles he was previously placing on your hips. His grip on your waist loosened at the sign of affection, a hum escaping his chest shook your body as you stared at his reflection with hope. “I suppose you can help me water the plants.” You beamed, turning in his arms to face him. “And if you do well enough maybe you can help take care of them when I'm gone.” You practically jumped for joy at his words though in your mind you knew it was a test. He said a similar thing when he’d first let you out of your now shared bedroom to explore the house. Just a test to see if you’d try to escape, and if you did you’d be confined to the walls of your room with little to no sunlight and just enough food to keep you sustained.

But that didn’t matter right now! Because you knew that you weren’t gonna try and escape, hell the thoughts not even in your mind as you giddily grab the watering can that 47 keeps under the sink. Turning the faucet, you waited with a smile as it filled up. 47 came back with an apron and some boots, “I only have one pair for now,” he stated as he came into view. “If you do well today I’ll get you your own pair.” You smiled and nodded eagerly, watching 47 bite back a smile of his own before his eyes traveled downward. “It’s overflowing, love.” Your eyes shot down to the watering can which was in fact overflowing. You quickly turned off the sink, laughing nervously as you dumped some of the water out. You grabbed the can, straining at the heaviness of it, it’s been a while since you’ve had to do any physical labor. Whenever something’s too heavy 47 usually deals with it. Speaking of which, he’s instantly by your side, now dressed in his gardening attire; his hand held outwards as he silently asks if you need him to carry it. You shake your head at his attempt, finding that it wasn’t too hard to carry once your grip on the handle was right. You wanted to prove to him that you could do this! A small chuckle escaped his lips at your determined expression before he led you outside.

As the usually locked door slid open, a rush of cold air instantly hit you in the face. 47 stepped outside, making his way to one of the small gardens by either side of the door only to stop when he realized you weren’t following him. You stood at the threshold of the outdoors with a newfound nervousness. You gripped the watering can a little harder as you attempted to shake away the stupid anxieties, you were so happy about going outside a minute ago why does it feel so scary now that you’re here. “Come on love,” 47’s voice cut through your thoughts and you looked to him, one of his hands was held towards you as he beckoned you to his side. “It’s alright.” That was practically all that you needed to hear as you took two small steps. The door shut behind you and you glanced back at it before looking back to 47. A small smile broke out on your face as you walked towards him, taking his outstretched hand into your own. The action seemed to take him by surprise though he didn’t pull away, he just simply interlocked your fingers as he led you to one side of the garden.

Tulips, you noticed, were scattered about the entirety of the small strip of flowers. Some y/f/f were also there, you recognized them instantly, 47 would bring you a small bouquet of them every now and then. You placed the water bucket down as 47 got on his knees, letting go of your hand to grab his gloves. He placed one on before giving the other to you, they were quite big on not only your hand but 47’s as well. “First we’ll weed the garden.” He instructed, grounding himself with one hand as he scanned through the soil. Pointing to what you’re guessing is a weed, he effortlessly yanked it from the ground, glaring at it as if it were his target, and you guess in a way it is. You masked a chuckle, watching as he looked for more. “There,” he pointed and you noticed there was another weed infiltrating his garden. “Grab it firmly and pull.” Following his instructions, and his movements, you grabbed at the weed, digging your gloved fingers into the soil slightly before pulling it out. You glared at it like he did, scoffing at the weed before turning to smile at 47. He nodded his head as he watched you, “good.” Your heart fluttered at the praise and you immediately looked back to the soil to find more weeds to remove.

After weeding the garden on both sides you properly watered the plants, 47 off to the side admiring you as he collected the previously pulled up weeds to throw away. You felt content in this moment, doing such domestic work with 47, it was obvious he took pride in things like his garden and you. You took a deep breath of the fresh outside air the surrounded you, before 47 cleared his throat from behind you. Turning, you small smile grew at the sight of 47 holding a y/f/f in his hand, the other behind his back as he held it out to you. Placing down the water bucket, you cocked your head to the side as you walked closer to him. "Thank you, 47." You said as you took the flower, staring at it before grabbing his shoulder with your other hand. You leaned up and placed a soft kiss to his cheek, feeling him freeze at the touch of your lips to his skin. He blinked at you as you pulled back, you were quick to notice that he wasn't the most physically affectionate though that still didn't stop him from trying every now and then. "You did good today," He spoke, after clearing his throat once more. "I think soon you'll be ready to do this on your own." You smiled and nodded, hopeful. "But for now we have a few more plants for you to water," He motioned his head towards the watering can and you picked it up with a bit more ease than before. Following 47 to some potted plants around the exterior and interior of the house, you spent the rest of your morning gardening with 47.

----!----

( live, laugh, love 47. )

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are OPEN so feel free to request anything! Just make sure you check out my Request Info first!

See my DIRECTORY for upcoming fics!

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[pas-de-duex]

The Black Swan

Hey everybody! This is my first Sanders Sides fanfiction. It’s Intrulogical (Remus x Logan) and based off of the ballet (well… and the Barbie movie…) Swan Lake! Fair warning, this fic will have a LOT of swearing, so if you don’t like it, don’t read it! I hope those who do read it, enjoy!

Prologue:

“You can’t catch us Remus!” Roman and Patton laughed as they ran away from Remus, who was struggling to catch up.

“Wait! Please! Ro-“ He cried, deep, heaving breaths between each word.

Roman stuck out his tongue as he and Patton disappeared into the woods. Remus raced towards them, but was unable to catch up. He stopped just outside the woods, catching his breath as tears began to form in his eyes.

Why did he always have to play the bad guy? He didn’t mind so much but, Patton and Roman always seemed to leave him behind.

“We’re heroes! It’s our job to stop the bad guy! Or, at the very least get him lost!”

That’s what they always said when Wolfgang asked why they left the (slightly) younger prince behind.

Remus hated being left behind.

Remus looked around, trying to see which way his brother and their friend went. He saw several broken branches to his left. He followed the trail of broken branches, scattered leaves, and upturned earth until he eventually reached a clearing. Remus stopped in his tracks, taking in the beauty of the area around him.

The trees seemed to stop, leading way to large piles of stones that seemed to glitter in the sunlight. Fireflies and moths seemed to dance in the air, as odd looking animals gathered around a shining lake.

Remus took a small step forward, as all the wildlife seemed to turn his way. He took a few more steps towards the lake, and laughed with glee as the fireflies and moths started to swarm around him. The odd looking animals slowly started to approach him as he moved closer to the lake, dancing to music only he seemed to hear. Eventually, some of the squirrels and smaller animals began to climb up him, joining him in his strange dance.

After a few moments, Remus flopped to the ground, still laughing, still covered in odd looking creatures.

“Oh thank you, thank you little friends! You’ve made me feel… better.”

He took a long breath and continued to watch as the fireflies and moths swirled around him. He eventually turned and watched a small purple spider crawl close to the lake. He grew worried, and scooped the poor thing up before it could get too close to the water.

“Careful little guy, I don’t…”

His sentence was interrupted by a large, grey owl descending from the sky. The air seemed to be sucked out of the clearing as Remus watched most of the animals run and hide. He cradled the small spider close to his chest as he felt a snake start to slither up his back. The owl seems to circle a few times, before eventually landing right in front of Remus.

“Well well well, what do we have here? A little human?”

The snake, now coiled around Remus’s right shoulder, hissed as a bright light emitted from where the owl stood. Remus closed his eyes, and when he opened them back up, before him stood an elderly man.

“Who are you? What are you doing in my woods?”

“I-I-“

“Speak up boy!”

The snake let out it a final hiss before launching himself at the man. The old man caught the snake and started to squeeze him in his fist.

“Hey! Let him go!” Remus gently let the spider go, and launched himself at the old man. He managed to knock him into the lake, causing him to release the small snake, who slithered towards the purple spider.

The old man stood up, shaking water from himself. He locked eyes with Remus, then held out his hand and chanted something Remus didn’t understand.

That’s when the pain started.

Remus doubled over, clutching his stomach. His screams filled the air. He caught sight of his snake friend, who seemed to be looking away with grief. He felt his limbs twist and shocks run up and down his body. When the pain subsided, he was still on the ground, trembling in fear.

The old man laughed. “There. Maybe that will teach you some respect.”

[leighsartworks216]

Your Captain

Engineer Mark x gn!reader

Requested by Anon:

"Sweet! Can i request a angst and fluff fic with engineer mark? Where captain overworks themselves, not taking care of themselves at all, marks sees it but doesn't want to bother them too much about it

And eventually they get really sick and collapse infront of mark

With angst prompts #12 and #17 thank youuuu"

12. "You could have died."

17. "No, no, no, you can't close your eyes right now!"

Tbh this fic started as a completely different concept but I think it fit really well with this request so yah

Warnings: loss of identity, mentions of the warp core events, mentions of death, overworking, exhaustion, hurt/comfort, angst

Word Count: 3906

Masterlist

Tag List Form

The realization is slow. Not in the way a predator creeps on an unsuspecting victim. Nor in the way an illness would, slowly taking over your body and mind until you can no longer ignore your decreasing abilities. No. It’s not even noticeable at first. Little hints here and there, indicative of something bigger.

And then it dawned on you. Suddenly. Like a spark igniting a rampant fire.

It happened when you looked up. The sky was different here. Strange. Nothing like Earth’s. There were no constellations - at least not yet. Two moons circled and twirled around the planet. Your new home.

You had neglected to look up since you landed. You couldn’t blame anyone. There was simply too much to do - buildings in need of building, resources to discover and study, maps to draw up of the surrounding area. Not only that, you joined your leads wherever you could.

You assisted Celci as she and her team revived colonists. You welcomed each new citizen with a smile and Welcome to our new planet! All 100,000 of them. Celci told you to take a break, get a nap, eat something. You would argue that everyone deserved to be welcomed, and it helped you get a grasp on just how many carpenters, engineers, scientists, medics, gun hands and others there actually were. She gave you a worried and disapproving side eye, but she couldn’t do anything to stop you.

Gunther worked to set up a perimeter where the first buildings could be set up. You helped to plan out which buildings went where, and exactly where your borders should be laid. And when he started setting up armed droids to keep an eye out for raging wildlife that could threaten your new beginnings? You were all too happy to put yourself to work, hauling the heavy automechanicals to each designated spot. If he made a comment about exerting yourself, you ignored it and kept on working.

Burt, with the lack of necessity for warp-core engineering (the thought made you flinch), helped out in home-building. He acted as foreman, making sure each sheet of metal had its place. As the framework finished, he and his team went in to affix lights and other electronic necessities. A few engineers even took plumbing jobs. (There was, unfortunately, a lack of those sent over from Earth.) Quiet as he was, the only time he pointed out your willingness to dive head first and help build foundations, framework and walls, was in a poetic waxing after a rather large building neared completion. You said it was a beautiful poem, but you didn’t quite understand its meaning. (You did.)

And Mark. Oh, god, Mark. With each new job you threw yourself into, he was always right there, running around like a headless chicken trying to help. If you were building a wall, he was right behind you (sometimes even right next to you, holding the metal in place as you bolted it in), keeping you up to date with the progress of the colony, messages from Earth, and other such things. He worried over you the most out of anyone else.

You couldn’t blame him, honestly. After the… adventure you both went on, you wouldn’t give yourself the time of day to even close your eyes. Once dark settled in, you threw yourself into paperwork and managerial nonsense. You couldn’t stop.

It had been one of these nights when you realized. You just finished talking to Celci, discussing the discoveries being made. The scientists just started working with the security crew to go out on excursions to study the flora and fauna. They just brought back a strange plant that they believed could be medicinal. It was exciting, truly.

But Celci had been short with the discussion. She had her arms crossed the whole time, shutting down branching topics with quick retorts. You need rest, she’d scolded. She shoved a protein bar in your hand and sent you to your tent, with orders not to do any work tomorrow. When you tried to protest, she enacted a rule that stated she - as lead officer for medical - could confine you to your quarters if you were not at your peak health, physical or otherwise. You couldn’t argue with her, and so trudged like a pouting child toward the temporary camp of tents everyone was staying in.

That’s when you looked up. You stopped, staring at the unfamiliar stars, the strange moons that lacked craters. The Invincible could just be seen, hovering in the atmosphere. You were waiting for orders from Earth to know what to do with her. You refused to dismantle the grand spaceship. Most likely, it would continue to remain high above the planet, run by a skeleton crew. Forever up there. Alone.

That is when the realization overcame you.

It was slow. And then it all came crashing down over top of you like a tsunami. A growing sense of guilt filled your chest. Was that it? Guilt. No, maybe it was… loss. Yes. A powerful sense of grief within you, bubbling to the surface.

Maybe it had always been there. You couldn’t rightly tell. But it was powerful. It grew, bubbling like a thick paste within you until it reached your tear ducts and buckled your knees. The ground was warm beneath you, and the sky full of strange new stars blurred into a swirl of watercolors. Maybe this was how Van Gogh saw the world. Through tears.

“Captain?”

Your lip trembled. You couldn’t look at him.

A warm body knelt next to you on the ground. His dark eyes burned into your skin, searching desperately for answers. Why were you crying? Why were you sitting out in the middle of the camp, staring at the sky? When he glanced up, following your gaze, he caught sight of the Invincible. He mentally damned the ship.

Was it because of the ship that you were crying? Far too often to be healthy, he, too, stared up at the ship. He remembered the warp core. The mistakes he made, and the ones he caused.

He had no idea what you saw up there. You never spoke about it. Now he wished he had. He wished he asked. He wished he knew what worlds, what alternate realities, what different timelines you’d witnessed. Maybe then he could understand what was wrong.

“Cap…?”

Your eyes were red now. Your face crinkled with grief and sorrow, fighting back the onslaught of tears. You gasped in a shaky breath. Out came a whisper. He thought, perhaps, you would tell him about the things you’d seen. You witnessed thousands of deaths; he had, too. But that was not what came out of your mouth.

“I don’t remember my name.”

Mark was stunned. Shock and confusion overtook his body. Your name? Well, of course, your name was… It’s…

Confused and frustrated, he remembered the IDs on file for every single crew member. He sifted through so many every day, trying to keep track of who was who. It took a few taps on his wrist pad to pull up your ID. He skimmed it for himself before holding out his arm to show you.

The image was fairly recent, only from a few months ago. But you looked… brighter. Hopeful. Determined. Your hair was a little shorter then, too. The bags under your eyes from rigorous study weren’t as prominent as they were now. You looked like a hollow shell of who you once were.

And, yes, that was your name. Or… was it? Was it really your name after everything that had happened?

No. That was their name.

You shook your head and furiously wiped at the tears on your cheeks. Every crass name, criminal title, and disparaging nickname flooded your mind. No. They didn’t have those titles. They didn’t deserve the hatred and vitriol that followed you through that wormhole. They were not the Captain. And you were not them.

“That’s not my name anymore,” you croaked. You shook your head again. You looked like a child having a breakdown in kindergarten over a broken toy. “That’s- That’s not me anymore.”

Mark couldn’t say he really understood why. The image of you, all crooked grins and academy-fresh confidence, was you. He remembered you gushing to him over flying your first airplane, and going through the rigorous training of outer-space flying. He remembered because it was you who gave him the idea for all those stupid windows. When you gushed over being so close to the night sky you felt you could reach out and pluck Polaris right out of the inky black.

But when he looked from the picture to you? He was reminded of the hardships. How you jumped from universe to universe, wracking up casualties, just to save him. And he started to get it. You went through too much to be even near the same plane of existence as your young, naive self.

“Who am I, Mark?”

When you fell to press your face unceremoniously into his shoulder, he wasted no time wrapping you up in his arms. The ID flickered away as the screen turned off. He tried to hold on tight enough to physically stop you from shaking with your sobs, but it was impossible.

“You’re our Captain.”

Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say. But they were the only words he could find.

Anybody who passed by pretended they didn’t see anything. He hoped, anyway. He couldn’t meet their eyes. All he could do was hold on, as you had done for him once. Your sobs turned into stifled cries, and then only whimpers. He wasn’t concerned at first. In fact, he was a little relieved you were beginning to calm down. Until you became completely limp in his hold.

Even then, he still paused a second, before pulling you back until he could see your face. Had your skin always been so dull?

He shook you slightly. Maybe you were just sleeping, right? Your eyelids didn’t even flutter. Panic shot through his heart.

He shook you again, harder this time. No response.

“Captain?” Another shake, perhaps a little more vigorously than he intended. Your body was a rag doll, flopped in his lap. “No, no, no, you can’t close your eyes right now!”

His mind, scared and jumping to all the worst conclusions, raced to figure out what to do. He laid you on the ground and pressed an ear against your chest.

…

……

Okay. There’s a heartbeat. A little weaker than he thought was normal, but it was there. And your chest was moving, albeit slowly, with each breath. He pulled away. His hands, calloused with years of fiddling with wires and heavy machinery, floundered in the air. He didn’t know what to do.

Desperate cries for help, for Cici, for anyone were ripped from his lungs. He was gasping for air by the time half the camp rushed out to see what the commotion was. He couldn’t catch his breath until you were safe again.

He just needed you to be safe.

-

Word spread about the Captain’s health quickly. Mark couldn’t say he was surprised. Actually, he was sort of embarrassed.

That night - almost a week ago now - Celci had rushed to his side. She was the rational and cool-headed one. She commanded medics to grab a stretcher, to ready an IV, prepare a bed and equipment. All the while he screeched like a banshee, whaling for his old friend.

Uncharacteristically, though, she didn’t say a word about it. Nobody did. (Or, at least, not when he was within earshot.) She grabbed him a chair, some water and snacks, even a blanket. And as he sat by the Captain’s side, a permanent frown etched within his features, she kept him up to date on your condition and on the colony.

He knew his fears were wholly rational. After jumping through wormholes and witnessing first hand what consequences it brought, it was only natural for him to fret over the permanence of life now.

How stupid he’d been. Really. How many times did he grab your hand and jump back into the wormhole? More than he could count on one hand. The way he would be torn apart by a black hole or exploded by a supernova, and still step out of that pod with a giddy little grin, asking, almost begging, the Captain to jump in again. And again. And again.

Vaguely he remembered an airlock.

Neither of you were immortal now. Honestly, he hated immortality. It seems to amazing in theory…

He drags a hand down his face with a sigh. His shoulders are hunched. He leans his elbows against the edge of your bed.

He’s tired. Not like before. This wasn’t an exhaustion fueled by some silly false heroics or nonstop building of a catalyst to all your issues. No. He was exhausted with worry, and fear, and- God, emotions he didn’t even have words for. It all sat heavy in his soul.

Guilt, he decided to call it. But different. Guilt if it was slightly to the left.

Celci told him you just passed out from exhaustion and overworking yourself. Maybe he felt guilty for not picking up on it sooner, or for stopping you before it got so bad. It’s not as if the bags under your eyes were invisible, or that the way you carelessly rushed in to help every single person in need was subtle. He should have noticed.

Maybe then you would remember your name. Or, he thought back to your ID, believe you’re still you.

He wished his mind could shut up, for once.

A distraction. That’s what he needed, yeah.

He dragged his eyes from your face to your monitor. He was never very good with medical stuff. The numbers were odd. Was that blood pressure normal? Too high? Too low? Hell if he knew. Was your heart beating fast enough?

He contemplated for a brief moment the components that went into a monitor like that. The wires, connectors, screws, bolts, etc. And then he remembered this machine was making sure you were still alive. The idea of dismantling it was no longer appealing.

He turned to the IV next. A slow, continuous drip of fluids, hooked up to your arm. Needles always gave him a bad feeling. He felt nauseous looking at it.

Strange flowers caught his attention next. There were no roses or tulips or irises out here. Just… Well, they didn’t have names yet. The exobiologists were working on formulating latin names, genuses, and everything else that came with cataloging different flora. They were still beautiful, he couldn’t deny it. Bright orange petals with neon blue stamens that glowed at night. Razor-leaved stems that started as purple by the bloom and morphed into an odd black hue. They looked poisonous, actually. He was sure they wouldn’t be allowed in here if that was the case.

Paper was becoming a luxury at this point. Not that it mattered much, with everything accessible at the press of a button on their wrists. Still, they thought it would be best to ration out the remaining scraps throughout the colony. And everyone, seemingly unanimously, decided to use the rare material to write get well soon cards.

The little folds of parchment filled every possible surface. With 100,003 people writing get well and thank you, at some point the excess of good will notes had to be tucked away in a bin to be read later. He caught a nurse, once, rotating out the cards.

His frown softened when he thought of the very human way in which they cared about you. How human to utilize a precious resource just to say Thank you, wake up soon. How human to see something beautiful in nature, and to display it tenderly next to you. We found something beautiful, it made us think of you. How very human for those who stopped by, who saw him ever at your side like a steadfast protector, rested a hand on his shoulder or patted him on the back. You are not alone in your pain.

He wished, desperately, that you could be awake to witness the love humanity so freely handed out. Maybe then you could rediscover who you were.

“You look like shit.”

Mark startled awake. When did he fall asleep? Ah, dammit, it was dark outside. He must have been out for hours. He scrubbed at the exhaustion crusting his eyelids shut.

Wait…

His body froze. He was too scared to breathe. His heart was racing.

He couldn’t have heard that. He couldn’t have.

Heart in his throat, he slowly removed his hand from his eye and dragged his eye along your frame, still tucked safely under the blanket. Sure enough, when he finally reached your face, there was a smug grin waiting for him.

And with a jolt, his body came back to life.

You watched, half-amused as Mark threw himself from his chair to press a Call Nurse button on the opposite side of your bed. His eyes were wide and frantic. His hair was a mess. Bags under his eyes carried the weight of the world, tears of relief slipping down his cheeks before he could even think to stop them.

“You’re- You’re awake!” he croaked. His hands instinctively grabbed onto your shoulders. They were trembling.

You tried to reach up to hold onto his shoulder, maybe even his face to feel his concerning amount of stubble, but it felt so heavy. You held onto his forearm instead. “How long-?”

Celci came storming in, looking about as frantic as Mark, but better put together. Once she saw you were conscious, her expression morphed to be somewhere between joy and fury. Uh oh.

“Captain!” The only freedom from her intense stare came when she checked your vitals. Mark backed away so she had plenty of room to do so, but he kept a hand on one of your shoulders. He couldn’t pull himself away just yet. “I’m not going to say ‘I told you so’, but I told you this was going to happen if you kept pushing yourself so hard!”

“What exactly happened?”

The cryonics lead faltered. Mark gave her a pleading look. She realized, for the first time since stepping in here, that he had been- no, was crying. She had never seen him cry before.

Celci sighed and tapped a few things into her wrist pad. “I’m assigning you to bedrest and low-effort work until you decide to put your needs before those of the colony.” She leveled you with a concerned stare. “The colony needs you, Captain. You can’t be everywhere at once, helping with every last fiber of your being, no matter how much you want to. Let the rest of us carry the responsibilities we were sent here to carry.”

Mark turned away to wipe away his tears before she could glare at him next and give him a lecture, too. She huffed, nodded to you with a Captain, and left.

The air was thick. Things unsaid hung around in the air like dust caught in a sunbeam - everywhere you look and hard to ignore.

Mark didn’t look at you as he tried to gather himself together. The motes would continue lingering until he was ready to answer your questions.

Deciding to give him some space (as much as you could while bedridden), you looked to the side. The hordes of cards was utterly overwhelming. Each one was different from the next. Some had Captain written on the front in neat cursive, heavy-handed scrawls, or chicken scratch. Some people did their ‘C’s differently, or slurred their writing together in their plain-text handwriting. Other cards simple said Get well soon! or Feel better! You could see small paragraphs of writing inside the folds.

A rush of warmth flooded your chest. All of the command leads, all of the colonists - everyone thought about you. Maybe the idea of being thought of was just so foreign, but you didn’t think in any earnest capacity that this many people would care. The Leads, sure, you spent so much time with them up on the ship (more than they realized), but the most contact the vast majority of the colonists had with you was the simple welcome you gave them as they were thawed. And yet. Despite it all. Everyone had left a card.

Everyone cared about you.

The warm feeling in your chest turned sour as you remembered your conversation with Mark last night. (Was it last night?) The way the stars glimmered back without a care for you. The way you squeezed that protein bar so tight it became mush in its package. The way Mark held you.

I don’t remember my name.

Who am I, Mark?

You squeezed his arm, as much as you could in your weakened state.

You’re our Captain.

Reddened eyes met yours. His eyes were so dark, but they held a thousand thoughts, emotions, and ideas behind them. You remembered looking into those eyes, as you held onto him, refused to let him go even as he called you hateful names and ripped the crystal from your palm.

“You’ve been asleep for a week.” He sniffed. His hand trembled as he gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Cici said… You were overworking yourself, pushing yourself past your limit just to be there for everybody, and you weren’t taking care of yourself like you should have been and she said-” He swallowed thickly, fighting to speak through the lump in his throat. “You could have died.”

Oh. It had been that bad? You couldn’t recall feeling weak. Though, maybe it was from the endless running you did during the warp core fiasco. How long had you been awake during that endless nightmare? Your body had recovered once the cycle was broken, but your mind…

“I’m sorry.” It was all you could say. His shoulders fell. “I didn’t…” Your voice was quiet, almost too soft to be a whisper. As if you were afraid to say what was on your mind. “When we were in the wormhole, I was so tired. We both were. But it’s like, I don’t even know what it’s like to feel tired anymore, because nothing compares to what happened.”

You looked up at him, like a child seeking approval. In your eyes, he saw universes colliding, supernovas, and someone who never gave up hope. For the briefest hint of a second, he saw that same determined graduate from the ID.

“Does that make sense?”

He nodded without thinking. His hand left your shoulder, following the length of your arm to hold your hand. You didn’t have gloves on. It was… odd. He ignored the calloused scar that brushed against his palm. “I feel the same. I remember building the… it. I didn’t sleep at all, then. And now that I can, it feels… wrong. I’m not tired, but I am. I can’t explain it better than that.”

“I think we both need a nap.”

He huffed. It was nice to see him smile again. “On your orders, Captain.” His grin flickered, eyes darkened. “If you’d like, you can choose a different name. It wouldn’t be too hard to change your ID.”

“No,” you said. You smiled. “You were right, all along.”

“About what?”

“I’m your Captain.”

---

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