#Mikau's Mummsie

[mikauzoran]

New Tea Mugs!

My mum got me some new tea mugs. They’re super cute, so I wanted to share them with you guys. ^.^

I really like the one with the fox on it. It kind of reminds me of Le Petit Prince.

[mikauzoran]

I Sound Like My Mother 0.0

So, my mum takes a ridiculous amount of pleasure in saying “Get out”. Whenever she drops me or my brother (or even my father) off somewhere, she deepens her voice and says “Get out”. She’s been doing it ever since I was a little kid.

Tonight, I opened the back door to let my dog-children out, and, to my horror, what came out of my mouth was, “Alright. Get out”. 0.0

[mikauzoran]

Adventures in Toasterland

So, my brother has never used our toaster before, but Mummsie got him these frozen pastries you can heat up in the toaster, so he was using the toaster for the first time, and I was offering advice from the other room.

Some quick background: 

- We often have croissants, muffins, rolls, and other miscellaneous bread objects stacked on top of our toaster. (I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why. XD It’s because our bread box is already full. We’re bread people.)

- Mummsie bought this dumb toaster cover that everyone hates a few years ago because she does stuff like that. She thinks it protects the toaster. My father and I think it’s inconvenient because it’s hard to get on and off, and we have nowhere to set it while we’re using the toaster.

- The tea maker is a sacred object in the Zoran household. Mummsie hates it when we put stuff in the way of the tea maker.

~*~

Lemarc: How long do I have to wait to put the cover back on the toaster?

Mikau: Usually about ten minutes.

Lemarc: Well, I’m not going to be here--

Mikau: --That’s okay. Typically, Dad and I forget about the toaster cover and Mum puts it back for us.

Lemarc: ...Where do the pastries go when you forget about the toaster cover?

Mikau: We stack them in front of the tea maker.

Lemarc: ...I’m beginning to understand why she doesn’t like you people.

Mikau: *Bursts out laughing*

[mikauzoran]

For Science! (Or, You Know...Writing Fanfiction)

The Anecdote:

Mikau: *Sitting in the den, writing*

Mummsie: *In the kitchen making pies*

Mikau: *Gets up suddenly* I need a key.

Mummsie: For what?

Mikau: I need to drop it in there on the wood floor.

Mummsie: *Unfazed* To see what it sounds like?

Mikau: Yeah.

It feels so validating when I don’t have to explain my odd behaviour to my mother. I was writing a scene where Adrien drops a key on the Liberty, and I was trying to decide how to describe it. I’m actually really glad I did this little experiment because the key was a lot louder than I had anticipated, and the sound echoed and rang a lot more than I had initially thought it would.

The Fanfic Excerpt:

“Luka!” Chat Noir choked out as he stumbled into the room, eyes wild and tears streaming down his cheeks. “My father is—”

The words died on his lips as his mind processed Marinette and Luka’s position.

The apartment key that Luka had given him dropped to the floor with a clatter and a resounding ring that echoed against the silence of the room.

Marinette blinked at her partner in confusion, trying to comprehend his presence. “Chat Noir?”

A hollow feeling expanded outward from the pit of Luka’s stomach as he realized what Adrien thought he was seeing.

“S-Sorry,” Chat mumbled, reaching to retrieve the key. He gripped it tightly, cradling it to his chest. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

The above excerpt is from Where the Heart Is which I’m planning on posting Tuesday, 02/02/2021, so keep an eye out for it. ^.^

Summary: A misunderstanding with Luka on top of discovering his father’s secrets leads to Adrien’s akumatization. It’s up to Luka to prove his love to Chat Blanc and save him from the darkness inside of himself.

[mikauzoran]

My Formal Logic Senses are Tingling

Mummsie: Lemarc, if everyone has pork for lunch tomorrow, we’ll have something else for dinner.

Mikau (a vegetarian): Does this mean that if not everyone has pork, you won’t be allowed to have something different for dinner?

Lemarc: My formal logic senses are tingling.

[mikauzoran]

Obligatory Star Wars Shipping Post

I haven’t seen any of the newest set of Star Wars movies, so my knowledge is based solely on fanart that pops up on my dash occasionally. Naturally, I ship Finn and Poe as well as Kylo Ren and Rey. Like, I’m actually considering watching these movies to see my ships.

My mum has seen the movies, so I asked her if my ships were canon. She right out balked at FinnPoe and tried to explain to me that they were both straight, and then I had to explain to her about the gifs I had seen comparing scenes between Finn and Poe side by side with scenes from the original Star Wars between Solo and Leia. Anyone can tell that these two were meant to be a couple. I mean, that hug! Did you see that hug?! They’re both bi. Case closed.

Below is the conversation we had concerning Kylo Rey. My brother was also present.

Mummsie: If no one else needs me, I will be going upstairs.

Mikau: Wait! *Apropos of Nothing* Are...what’s his face? Kylo...Ren? Is that his face? From Star Wars. Are he and Rey a couple?

Mummsie: Well...

Lemarc: *Succinctly* Yes.

Mummsie: They kind of have a chemistry through the movies.

Lemarc: *Deadpan* Yes.

Mummsie: And the way it’s written, it’s like the writers meant for them to be a couple.

Mikau: Okay. So yes.

Mummsie: And they do kiss, but...

Lemarc: It’s like a redemption thing.

Mikau: It’s canon.

Mummsie: ...it was also like Rey had a thing with Finn.

Mikau: No. Finn is with Poe.

Mummsie: *Exasperated* No. That didn’t happen. That wasn’t in the movie.

Mikau: Yes, it was.

Mummsie: You haven’t even seen the movies.

Mikau: I don’t need to have seen the movies. Finn and Poe are gay for each other.

Mummsie: *Shakes head and walks away, complaining about how you just want to strangle that girl sometimes*

Mikau: *Shouting after her* I’ve seen the fandom! What I have is better!

[mikauzoran]

I am Universally Incomprehensible

Most of the time, when I’m focused and paying attention to what I’m saying, I can speak with a fairly “normal” American English accent. The way I say some words is peculiar, my word choice and phrasing can be a little atypical, and I have an odd inflection (particularly if I’m asking a question), but it’s fairly standard. Please see my voice recording of an excerpt from Chapter Two of Jabberwocky.

When I’m flustered or startled or tired or angry or upset, my accent starts slipping all over the place. Please see my other voice recording of Chapter Three of Nachtmusik. This is my accent at its absolute WORST. I did this recording at two in the morning when I was bloody exhausted.

Now, the story: 

I came home mentally depleted from work the other day, and I was thinking about something as I got out of my car. This guy came out from around the front of my house and started talking to me and really freaked me out. He was a solicitor (not the legal professional kind) for a phone and internet company, and he was going around to see if anyone in the neighborhood was interested in switching. (In retrospect, I felt sorry for him because his job is literally to walk around in the cold going house to house talking to people who don’t want to talk to him.) But in that moment, I was really tired, and there was this big guy standing between me and my house when I hadn’t expected it. So my accent was really bad.

He asked if the house was mine, and I told him I was a tenant (I rent from my parents), and he didn’t understand me. (“You’re a what?” “I...uh...I’m a-a tenant. I...um...I rent!”) I told him that I’m not sure what provider my parents use. It’s just included in the rent, and it works, so I don’t need to know. He asked me to pass word onto my landlords that they were having a special deal, and I said I would. Then he asked me where I was from.

Gosh, I blushed so hard when I said, “Um...Here. I’m from here.” The poor guy looked dumbfounded like he thought I was lying. He stared at me and remarked, “You have an accent.” I explained about studying abroad for long stretches and travelling a lot and working at a law firm where I listen to audiobooks read by speakers with British English accents for hours and hours all the time.

It was especially funny because he had a bit of an accent too, maybe Hispanic, but he also sounded a lot like my professor from Macedonia. He said that English was his second language and he had a bit of trouble understanding me.

When I recounted the incident to my mum later, she asked me, 

Mummsie: Why don’t you ever lie?

Mikau: Lie? What do you mean?

Mummsie: Why don’t you ever make something up? Say you’re from Liverpool or something.

Mikau: Because I’m not.... I’m just weird.

^.^;

[mikauzoran]

She Passes the Test; We Can Keep Her

In the evenings after I come home from work, I typically take up residence in the den with my beautiful puppy children. My parents and brother generally stay upstairs, so I’m mostly left to my own devices, undisturbed.

Last night, I was blasting Sarasate’s Carmen Fantasy (have you ever played it, @mireilletan? If not, you should. It’s exquisite. You know how I feel about Carmen) and eating my dinner when Mummsie came downstairs to get a snack. 

The Habanera portion was just playing, and I wondered, “Does she know what I’m listening to? Surely she knows Carmen. Everyone knows Carmen...right?” (I don’t have a good grasp on what is or is not common knowledge.) “If she doesn’t know Carmen by name, at least she’s familiar with the song, right? I mean, she’s heard it before, hasn’t she?”

She saved me further mental anguish by commenting, “I know this song” and beginning to dance around the kitchen to it. I told her it was from Carmen and decided that her being familiar with the piece was good enough. Apparently she’s actually seen Carmen before.

[mikauzoran]

Sour Cream-Eater Persecution

So, my mother walks into the kitchen where I am eating lunch, opens the fridge, and, apropos of nothing, says,

Mummsie: Have you eaten all of the sour cream yet?

Mikau: *Affronted* No. No, I have not.

In case you were wondering, no, I do not regularly “eat all of the sour cream”. I am being falsely accused. Other people in this household eat sour cream. Other people in this household eat the majority of the sour cream. The only difference is that I am the only one who eats it straight by the spoonful. And this is an occasional thing. This isn’t even a weekly thing. Everyone else eats sour cream more regularly as a condiment.

I am being discriminated against for not conforming to traditional sour cream-eating practices.

(Mummsie wanted to know because she was planning on making potato skins for dinner and needed to know if she should pick some up from the store. ^.^)

[mikauzoran]

Ballerina Birthday Bunny Banner

It’s that time of year again! Time for my Ballerina Birthday Bunny Banner! My mum made this when I was, like, four, and every year when March comes around she hangs it up. It’s been hanging since the last week of February, and it usually stays up until April. 

My actual birthday is March tenth. ^o^ My mum is seriously one of the most wonderful, thoughtful people. <3

[mikauzoran]

Look what I manifested with the power of my mind! XD Alstroemeria! ^o^

The other day in my new Lady Noir/Adrienette two-shot Let Your Walls Down, I had Chat say that his favourite flower was alstos. Alstros are actually my favourite. They’re a very small member of the lily family, and they typically come four to seven to a stem. The red and orange ones are my favourites.

Anyway. Saturday morning I wasn’t feeling very well when my mum left for work, so Mummsie brought me flowers home. Isn’t she the sweetest? ^o^

[mikauzoran]

Sometimes, my mother and I struggle to communicate effectively. When I’m displeased with something, I complain about it. Whining makes me feel better, and when I complain to my mother about something, the thing I most want from her is for her to listen to me and express sympathy. That’s it. All I need is a simple, “That sucks. I’m sorry that happened to you, Mikau” and I am more or less satisfied with the interaction.

Mummsie has a hard time following this model. You see, she is hardwired to fix problems. She skips right past the sympathy and validation of my feelings and starts trying to fix my problems for me. God love her, she’s wonderful, and I’m grateful, but that’s generally not what I want from her. ^.^;

Why am I telling you this when the post leads with a picture of quiche? Because understanding this communication blip in my relationship with my mum is vital to understanding the picture’s backstory. ^.^ Now that that’s out of the way, let me explain my quiche dilemma.

As some of you may know, I’m a vegetarian (technically a pescatarian, but...). As probably none of you know, I enjoy eating quiche for breakfast once or twice a week. I used to get this nice vegetable quiche from the ready-made section of my local grocery market, but they stopped stocking the only vegetarian-friendly version two months ago. This was a minor inconvenience in my life; however, it was an inconvenience, so I complained about it to my mother.

After three weeks of the store not having my quiche in stock, I sucked it up and found a frozen vegetable quiche option. Not as good as the fresh quiche, but whatever. Good enough until they get more of my regular quiche back in stock. It’s been two months, and I’ve pretty much given up hope at this point. Periodically, I’ve grumbled to my mother. 

Her response? She asked if I wanted her to make me a quiche. XD I said no because the frozen quiche I’m eating is fine, and I didn’t want to take up her time, and she really hates eggs, so I didn’t want to trouble her. She was on vacation from work this week, and what did she do? She made me a quiche. I have the best Mummsie, and I love her so much. It’s really good quiche too!

[mikauzoran]

Fashion Police Chief Lemarc

Lemarc: *Enters the room, observes Mikau’s puffy white turtleneck sweater, and shakes head, disappointed* I don’t know what to tell you.

Mikau: *Meaning her day* You can’t make it any worse.

Lemarc: That bad, huh?

Mikau: It’s horrible. Everything is horrible.... You could try to make it better?

Lemarc: That’s not possible.

Mikau: *Meaning her sweater which the conversation was about in the first place* It’s not that bad.

Lemarc: You’re wearing a bath towel. You’ve murdered a bath towel and are wearing its pelt.

Mikau: Mummsie picked the sweater out for me.

Lemarc: Mikau, you’ve got to be more assertive. You’ve got to tell her, “Mom, I will not let you dress me like a bath towel. I will not wear a noose to the party. I prefer wearing my hoodies forwards!”

Mikau: *Shrugs*

Lemarc: ...So why was today horrible before I came to put your clothing choices into the dumpster where they belong?

Lemarc has made disparaging comments on my clothes three times recently. All three times I’ve been wearing something that Mummsie has gotten for me. ^.^; By “noose”, he meant a scarf tied in a loop around my neck. The hoodie comment was concerning a cowl neck sweater.

[mikauzoran]

My Mummsie is Best

Now, I’m sure that your mothers are all fabulous. Nothing against them, but my Mummsie is the best.

As many of you have probably figured out, Mikau’s mental health is not so great sometimes, and these past seven months have been particularly difficult. All of the sudden I kind of suck at sleeping, remembering to eat, and exercising regularly. So Mummsie was talking to me last weekend about what we could do to improve my self-care, and we came up with a list of strategies to up my chances of success.

We also decided that I needed rewards for positive behaviours. Unfortunately, I’m not very easy to reward because I have a library card and the internet. My wants are simple: books, travel, and food, and it’s not recommended to give food as a reward. My mother jokingly asked if we should give me gold star stickers for positive behaviours, and I perked up and said that I wanted red stars. Mummsie looked at me and blinked for a minute, contemplating the fact that her grown child could be incentivized by stickers. And then she ran with the idea.

Above is my progress chart. Mummsie made it for me out of cardboard, construction paper, and stickers. ^.^ Isn’t it nice? She put the ribbon on it too so that I could hang it on my door. The calendar portion she printed from online, but she put the rest together herself. Isn’t she so crafty? (Mikau is not crafty and admires people who are.) It was really touching to me that she took time out of her really busy schedule to make this. I have a really wonderful mother.

I get a sticker each day that I exercise, do yoga, or meditate. As you can see, I’ve earned a sticker every day except Wednesday so far. (I was supposed to have fencing which would have counted as exercise, but I had to skip because there were thunder storms, and my dog-son Noiz has panic attacks, so I had to be home with a seventy-pound dog on my lap instead. My son is worth the trouble.) I have a rooster (this sticker is actually from my brother’s first birthday party. We had a barnyard-themed party in our backyard. My brother is now twenty-four. The sticker is OLD), a cat (which Lemarc has written “Nya” next to because that is the sound of meowing in Japanese, and my brother is ridiculously awesome), a paw print of indiscernible origin (Dog? Cat? Mountain lion? Who knows?), a pig (also from Lemarc’s first birthday), and a llama of awesomeness that Mummsie just purchased for me today.

^.^ I am much pleased.

[mikauzoran]

Kelpies Drown People!

So, I finally saw Frozen II with my mum. We got to the part where Elsa was fighting with the water spirit, and the following conversation took place.

Mummsie: Why doesn’t she ride the horse?

Mikau: *Whips around and scoffs* That’s a kelpie!!!

Mummsie: What’s a kelpie?

Mikau: A water sprite of Scottish origin. Kelpies drown people!

*On screen, the water spirit begins to push Elsa down into the sea*

Mikau: *Points to the screen in vindication* You don’t ride a kelpie unless the kelpie lets you.

To be fair, I think Frozen takes place in Scandinavia, so the “kelpie” is probably a “bäckahäst”, the local equivalent. I’m just more familiar with the Scottish variant because my people are from the UK, so that’s the mythology I learned. I don’t know why my mum doesn’t know about kelpies. The Irish and Scottish people are on her side of the family. I mean, Grandma Ruby bloody well grew up in Dublin, for goodness’s sake.

Oh. It’s Grandma Ruby’s meinichi (death anniversary). I need to go burn some incense for her. Thanks for reminding me. ^.^

I like how they portrayed the fire spirit as a salamander and the water spirit as a kelpie. I think the earth spirits were golems? They looked like golems. I wasn’t sure about the wind spirit. My best guess is that it’s a wind djinn.

I liked that Elsa never got a love interest. Aro ace representation is important, particularly in Disney movies. I’m really glad that she can be happy doing her own thing without a romantic partner. That makes me happy.

[mikauzoran]

Mummies Bloody Stole My Chips

My father had lunch at a Mexican restaurant today, and he brought me home some tortilla chips because he’s awesome like that. He left them on the dinning room table, and I had been snacking on them before and after I went for my run. Later, while I was having dinner, my father brought the chips into the kitchen to ask if I wanted them. I informed him that I had been snacking on them already and that they were much appreciated.

My mum, who had been in the kitchen with me, picked up the bag and started munching on my chips. I let it slide because she’s my mother and my parents paid for the chips anyway. But then she took the bag of chips upstairs with her. I kept thinking as she gathered her things to go up and retire for the night that she was going to set the bag of chips down, but no. She took my chips.

I texted my father to air my grievances:

Mikau: She bloody well stole my chips. :/

Dad: Who? Eiko?

Mikau: Mummies.

Mikau: *Mummsie

Dad: There are some left hurry

Mikau: It’s okay. I just wanted to complain. ^.^

Eiko is my daughter. She’s biologically canine. And auto-correct has yet to pick up on the fact that I call my mother “Mummsie”. It was actually kind of funny when it corrected it to mean that mummies stole my chips. Mummies stealing my chips was actually a fun mental image.