#Midweek Live

[notfreetoday]

Guilt is a parasite that feeds on Team and eats away at him from the inside. It's the reason for Team's insecurity, his lack of self-worth and his difficulty with accepting affection. He doesn't stand up for himself, doesn't believe in himself, doesn't for a second think he's worth fighting for. Win promised to be there for him, but Team doesn't even remember it, because he's never placed any weight in those words. What is there to "be there for"? Team? But Team is lazy, is stupid. Unless it's about swimming, Team doesn't see himself as good for anything.

Because Team's Guilt erases him.

Like his mother says, Team must learn to forgive himself - but knowing is different from understanding. Just like his aunt, Team has not moved on from his trauma. He is not ready to forgive himself, because forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness means letting go of the chance to make things right. It means facing up to the fact that the slate will never actually be wiped clean, that the wounds and the hurt you caused will never ever be undone. No, punishment is much easier, because serving punishment offers us the illusion of righting our wrongs. Maybe one day, when Team's worked hard enough, P'Ton will forgive him. Maybe one day, his Aunt will smile at him again. Maybe, just maybe, if Team's been punished enough then one day the score will be settled and Team will finally have earned the right to live for himself.

And so until he has paid his dues, the only thing Team's Guilt permits him to do is to struggle to stay afloat. To make his entire life so far be about trying to make up for what he's done, about trying to fulfill P'Ton's dream and his promise. He brings his gold medal to P'Ton's grave, but all that greets him is silence and emptiness.

"Are you still mad at me? Have you forgiven me?" Team has asked these questions so many times he probably doesn't even notice the gaping hole inside him filled with tears. Except this time, he's faced with his Aunt's grief and her inability to move on from her son's death and somehow her lack of condemnation seems even harder to bear and suddenly the bandages Team's so carefully placed on all his wounds have now come undone and they bleed anew as the guilt and shame of living crashes down on him once more.

This time, Team doesn't even bother directing his anger through P'Ton anymore - he cuts directly into himself, because it has never been P'Ton who was angry at him; it has always been Team himself. Team is angry that he lived and P'Ton died, that nothing he does will ever be enough, and ashamed that he even thinks it might be. Because how dare he? How dare he try to live for himself when he's already stolen the very air that he breathes?

But that's just it - Team still tries to survive. He still makes friends, he still asks for affection, he still reaches out to Win, like a sunflower reaching toward the sun, because he shamelessly wants to live even as he knows he doesn't deserve to. Even as he knows he should be struggling and suffering and doing everything he can to make up for just how wrong he is, Team still wants to live. And that's why he calls Hia Win. Because it was Win who breathed life into him again, who gave Team permission to live when he pulled him out of the pool and made Team promise never to endanger himself again.

And so in that moment when Hia comes to him in the cemetery, the headlights of his motorbike quite literally shining a light on Team in the darkness of the pouring rain - in that moment Team no longer denies himself his claim to life.

He turns and his voice cracks and even the timbre of his sobs change as he starts crying in earnest, like how a scared, lost child does when they're finally found. He clutches at Win and leans into him, calling out to him as if afraid Hia will somehow miss him and Guilt will once again twist around his leg and drag him down below.

And so when Hia tells him "Let's go back home" Team turns away from Ton's grave and into Hia's embrace, because Hia promised, and now Team remembers.

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/1

What am I feeling today?

Feeling anxious. I have my first labor and delivery clinical today and I’m nervous about it. I also have an interview today and I really really hope they accept me. Also have some traveling and a busy schedule ahead of me. Just want to be able to make it all work!😅

Women’s Midweek: What Happened to Miss Independent? (part 2/3)

2) Misconception to a New Direction

1 Corinthians 12:12 NIV

“Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.”

We should not claim to be independent and we’re not the ones who should be calling the shots, Jesus does. (we all serve a purpose in working together)

Galatians 3:10 AMP

“For all who depend on the Law [seeking justification and salvation by obedience to the Law and the observance of rituals] are under a curse; for it is written, “Cursed (condemned to destruction) is everyone who does not abide by all things written in the book of the law, so as to practice them.””

I can’t remember the point made with this but the way I interpret it is also a matter of faith. You can apply a whole bunch of laws and rules to your life but if your heart is not in it, it’s just obligation.

Job 8:13-15 NIV

“Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless. What they trust in is fragile; what they rely on is a spider’s web. They lean on the web, but it gives way; they cling to it, but it does not hold.”

When you don’t have God to rely on, your trust in other things is fragile. Think about independence and how part of it can be a lack of trust. Think how that would resolve when you place your trust first and foremost in Him.

practical:

list of all relationships and write a question related to getting advice for each of the relationships

make a Ilist of major situations you need to seek advice on - write questions on each and seek scripture!

Job 12:13 NIV

““To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his.”

God is the one who holds all wisdom, power, and understanding. His word is reliable for that. Therefore, we must seek out the scripture but not just read it for the sake of reading. We need to apply it to our life and let it change us!

Psalm 59:17 NIV

“You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely.”

do not dishonor God! He can do anything/everything! Don't limit Him in your life! I need to work on making Him my strength. I was feeling so anxious but I know He’s with me, I can put my trust in Him and my heart at ease.

[ltcharts]

Chart Update 2022-11-21 18:03 UTC

Faith in the Future:

Kworb Live iTunes Album US: #94 (+3)

Kworb Live iTunes Album UK: #21 (+2)

Kworb Live AppleMusic Album UK: #32 (=)

UK Official Albums Chart Midweek Update: #20 (-19)

View all the current chart positions for Faith in the Future

[afieldinengland]

.

[hscharts]

Chart Update 2022-07-25 17:04 UTC

Late Night Talking:

Kworb Live iTunes US: #36 (-1)

Kworb Live iTunes UK: #14 (-1)

UK Official Charts Midweek Update: #12 (+1)

View all the current chart positions for Late Night Talking

Music For A Sushi Restaurant:

UK Official Charts Midweek Update: #23 (-3)

View all the current chart positions for Music For A Sushi Restaurant

Harry's House:

Kworb Live iTunes Album US: #9 (-1)

View all the current chart positions for Harry's House

As It Was:

UK Official Charts Midweek Update: #3 (-1)

View all the current chart positions for As It Was

Fine Line:

Kworb Live iTunes Album UK: #96 (-4)

UK Official Albums Chart Midweek Update: #25 (+5)

View all the current chart positions for Fine Line

Harry Styles:

Kworb Live iTunes Album UK: #92 (-4)

UK Official Albums Chart Midweek Update: #63 (-2)

View all the current chart positions for Harry Styles

[karofsky]

My internet was out all weekend and will continue to be out until Wednesday so try not to need me LOL

[zmcharts]

Chart Update 2024-03-26 13:04 UTC

What I Am:

Kworb Live Apple Music UK: #189 (=)

UK Official Charts Midweek Update: no longer on chart

View all the current chart positions for What I Am

[mcl4ren81tch]

Me when i gotta start the arsenal game 20 something minutes behind because I got school 😞😞😞

[roshanzion2023]

[shadowboxerinc]

MidWk Update: Talking About Upcoming Games

10.25.23 Afternoon! This is Rob and I’m posting upcoming games via trailers, clips and live streams, all thanks to IGN. You can go to IGN’s YouTube channel for more games, tv, and other things. Enjoy the day everyone. Featured image: Pexel

[do-n0thing]

really earned my money at my silly little job today

even the silliest of jobs can be incredibly stressful experiences

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 2/29

What am I feeling today?

I feel rather relaxed and peaceful. I got to sleep in a bit and I plan on getting a lot of work done today. I just have one more big busy day ahead of me tomorrow and then I’m free for a week. So overall, I’m feeling pretty good😁

Women’s Midweek: What Happened to Miss Independent? (Part 1/3)

Every second and fourth Wednesday of the month we have women’s midweek at our church where all the women come together and we get a mini lesson and then get time to fellowship with each other too!

Psalms 66:1-4 NIV

“Shout for joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious. Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing the praises of your name.””

Stating that the whole entire earth bows down to Him and sing His praises! Let’s analyze though, on a scale of 1-10, where would we place ourselves, in comparison to this scripture, of how we praise Him? If you’re in the lower numbers, spend deeper, meaningful time with God. Pray to Him about it, ask for your heart to be soft and joyous!

I would say I’m around a 7 on this scale. I thank God every chance I get, whenever something good happens it’s the thought of how great God is! But I don’t feel that I always praise Him properly. That He deserves more from me, I’ll think of how to improve that.

Matthew 6:25-34

““Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

God knows what we need and He will provide it for us so long as we obey His condition in verse 33: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. I can attest that when you obey this, He really does give you all you need and sometimes more. The Lord is so generous when you put Him first. That is not to say that you’ll always get what you want though, He gives what is beneficial to you and your walk with Him. Anything you get that pulls you away from your relationship with God is not from Him.

What’s the definition of “Independence”?

Merriam-Webster gives a multiple:

not dependent, not subject to control by others

not requiring or relying on something else

not looking to others for one's opinions or for guidance in conduct

not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood)

showing a desire for freedom

In the Greek, the word χωρις (choris) means by itself, separately; without, besides, apart from, independent from

Further, the word independent shows up in the NIV Bible once:

1 Corinthians 11:11

“Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.”

We’re not meant to be independent of each other, we need each other in our lives.

1) LOWER YOUR DEFENSES

What do we look to from our past that justifies our independence? I think for me, it was necessity, I had to grow up quick. I have a disabled father and he was the one who would stay at home with us while my mom was at work. Since he couldn’t do much for himself, once my brother and I reached the age where we could be helpful, that’s what we did. We did stuff for him and in turn had to do that for ourselves since he wasn’t able to. I’m not bitter at him for it, it was out of his control and my parents tried their best, but sometimes I miss having just been a kid. As I got older though, it did stem from some hurt - I was a lonely child and had a very hard time making friends so it was just easier for me to operate on my own and also avoid getting hurt.

With independence, when people approach us, we can feel attacked because at one point we were and we’re now unable to distinguish.

What are reasons we can struggle with independence?

fear of being abandoned

fear of being rejected

fear of trusting people

In all these reasons, being independent “protects” us

Practical:

Identify and write down experiences from your life that have made you feel hurt, abandoned, rejected, etc. and pray to God over it and to help you trust Him

I love to read and I always wanted to share cool things from what I read, pretty every time no one wanted to listen to me and shunned me off and that hurt, so I kept to myself when I read.

For the past five or so years, my father keep talking about how he was gonna leave. I don’t like to be abandoned, it affects me very much. With my father talking this way, I projected it on to God. I had believed He abandoned me too but I learned that I cannot compare my physical father to my spiritual one. To further this, about three months after I got baptized, he left. I took it very hard emotionally and spent a lot of time in prayer and the word for comfort. My father eventually had to come back because his health took a sharp decline and we’re the ones who care for him. I think he has realized the importance of his family now and will not try to leave again.

With rejection, that can come from a lot of places. Multiple times coming up to people to start conversations and being shunned. Or being in a group and no one acknowledges you. Or speaking and seeing that no one is paying attention. Or realizing that whoever you’re with doesn’t want to be with you. All of those can just pile and pile on and it leads to a lot of hurt.

But even with all this pain, God still loves me. God still knows what’s best for me. God’s plan is still perfect. I will inevitably still go through pain, but I know I have God by my side and there’s nothing I can’t face when he’s with me. I don’t need to be independent, I don’t have to do everything on my own. He’s here and has given me a spiritual family too.♥️

[mycryptosuite]

Midweek Best Numbers To Play Today For 26/07/2023

Midweek Best Numbers To Play Today For 26/07/2023 Midweek best numbers to play today – Prediction for MidWeek​​ You can try Ghana Lotto Prediction tool to predict numbers for the next draw any game you will play. Abc naija lotto prediction for midweek is the best sure magic lotto predictor with baba ijebu two sure for midweek today. Midweek banker for today – Check out the list of the most, and…

[nhcharts]

Chart Update 2023-06-19 17:04 UTC

The Show:

UK Official Charts Midweek Update: no longer on chart

View all the current chart positions for The Show

The Show:

Kworb Live iTunes Album US: #59 (+5)

Kworb Live AppleMusic Album US: #67 (=)

Kworb Live iTunes Album UK: #30 (+1)

Kworb Live AppleMusic Album UK: #21 (-1)

UK Official Albums Chart Midweek Update: #17 (-16)

View all the current chart positions for The Show

Meltdown:

UK Official Charts Midweek Update: no longer on chart

View all the current chart positions for Meltdown

Heaven:

Kworb Live iTunes UK: #31 (+2)

UK Official Charts Midweek Update: #44 (-13)

View all the current chart positions for Heaven

[hscharts]

Chart Update 2024-05-08 12:04 UTC

Harry's House:

UK Official Albums Chart Midweek Update: #58 (+16)

View all the current chart positions for Harry's House

As It Was:

Kworb Live iTunes UK: #112 (+50)

UK Official Charts Midweek Update: #95 (re-entry)

View all the current chart positions for As It Was

Fine Line:

UK Official Albums Chart Midweek Update: #98 (re-entry)

View all the current chart positions for Fine Line