#Messiness is my mind and soul

[canolapaprika]

FINAL VS

Sketch :]

[dailyhmsw]

loop 3

[purpleleafsyt]

They can be sleepy. And cuddle. And talk quietly. As a treat

[azurewishing]

Supernova again

[lemonsiskull]

Been inactive for who knows how long. Take my sketchbook in its messy mind glory!

[ccruelgods]

jashtober day 11: trident [drabble]

"soul, we-"

"shut up." the blinding red glow swallowed up the room for a moment, pain slicing into the blinded fool's very being. a barely stifled cry spilled from their lips, and they shrunk back, feeling around desperately for the wall.

3 days. 3 days straight, two halves had been fighting, clashing against each other and causing a metaphorical earthquake. small, petty things would set off the heart, and mind would follow in turn, berating and critisizing him for every tear that fell. soul wasn't a liar, he wouldn't say he wasn't used to it, but when it reached the point where weapons were drawn again, he was pretty fucking sure he had the right to be a /bit/ harsh.

maybe this was more than a bit, though.

"soul, this is absurdity. you are only adding to a conflict and making it worse." mind spat. even as blood stained the freak's throat and mouth and distorted his words even further, spite still laced his tone. it too, however, shrunk back, when the 3-pronged weapon was suddenly aimed at his face.

"absurdity? i'm the one being absurd? tell me, /mind/, who's the one who picks fights and nitpicks at every little thing? who insists on getting his way, his word being the last one, who insists on fucking ruining every godamn thing that isn't 'logical' enough for you? huh?" soul snapped, the trident seeming to become sharper with every biting word. "if it's not heart being an emotional freak, it's you being a fucking dick. i'm tired, fuck, i'm fucking tired of this!"

with a sharp "clang", the trident was thrown to the ground, soul collapsing beside it shortly after. heart froze in his place near the wall as soon as he heard it, speaking up feebly.

"..soul?"

there was no response, and the entire room lasped into silence, broken only by the clicking and whirring of whatever-made-up-mr-mind, and soul's ragged breathing. after a few moments, heart began shifting anxiously.

"soul, i-"

"dont." he responded hoarsely. "just…forget it, dude. forget it."

without another word, he stood up, retrieving the trident and leaving the room, not sparing a glance to mind, who was standing stiffly to the side, nor heart.

it was pointless, anyway.

[aq2003]

hogarth is also like my favorite character or something idc she is so funny

[builtlikeastickofcelery]

i have no comic or art for you guys at all have this picture of my cat instead

[lemonandpie]

Don't have any bad vibes booty calls of my own, so need to find some fic of Dick turning up tipsy at Slade's placing and getting the fucking he deserves

[unknwn-a]

what trying to stay above the surface looks like

[meowmeowmessi]

the funniest thing abt true coolers barking abt messi and his father putting pressure on barça and not trusting them is that cruyff, literally the grandaddy of the institution, would be utterly appalled by the way the club is handling messi's transfer 😭

[hellhoundlair]

Happy WW! Please tell me about your favourite flavours of Sam/Dean: a) kissing and b) arguing <3

HAPPY WINCEST WEDNESDAY MWAH. ARGUING. ARGUING IS MY FAVE BY FAR ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

My fave moments in the show are when theyre so fucking done with each other, which sounds antithetical to the wincest ideology but when theyre at their lowest point in their relationship it really shows how strong their bond is and how deep theyre interwoven with each other.

I dont know how to describe it. its like. yes im so fucking mad at you and anything couldve triggered it but at its core the problem is between you and me. i feel betrayed by you because you dont trust me like i trust you. or because you forgot about me. or because you underestimated how much i care about you. and even at their LOWEST LOWEST like god i dont remember the episode but when dean had the mark of cain and sam and cas are trying to cure it in secret and theres a but there where your like damn dean is straight up about to KILL sam. like he doesnt trust him at ALL and its SCARY.

EVEN THEN. even then its like. okay. but would sam fight it? would sam leave him? deans treating sam like shit at that point yet sam still has so much faith in him. thats the soul of their relationship. that they fight and hurt each other and things get bad but their lives still revolve around each other so much. Also its hot to see them get beat up. Huh? who said that?

[deathwillsaveme]

Liars

[ravellaarryns]

@domericstone | @rememberences

i’d rot with you too, if i could

tumblr post by @girlhorror​ / revenge by xxxtentacion / the lovers of valdaro / lazarus rises (amongst other things) by @icaruspendragon​ / mahmoud darwish / gravestone of james robert irwin and millie michaels irwin / wuthering heights by emily brontë

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

Continuing the Middle of the Night Saga on my thoughts on that fic I’m writing:

Functionally the story works. From the perspective of reading it, it’s probably fine.

The messy part comes from writing it and having all this added context. Like Penny’s green ghost chapter is pretty okay. At the same time, it basically jumped the gun. I had planned for there to be more buildup to that plot point, but the chapter was written near the height of my frustration with everything and I just wanted to write the part I was looking forward to, so I did, (except that wasn’t enough to save it anyway).

So now I’m coming back a year later with a much cooler head and the pacing irritates me a bit even though it’s largely fine

Also character-wise it makes more sense for things to happen as they are for Penny then how the plan originally went

[and-this-of-all-my-hopes]

So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.

Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.

Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.

Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.

Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.

He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.

He’s doing the right thing.

Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.

And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.

But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.

It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.

It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.

God was wrong to cast out Crowley.

Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.

Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).

Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.

Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.