#Mentally i am 100% ready and hyped to be spending an evening with you guys. I am dolled up and ready to go!

[satans-knitwear]

Nearly ready ✨

Treat me ~ Tip me ~ More of me

[obeymeluv]

Hi lovely! I’m not sure if your requests are open but I just worked out for the first time since ive gotten super depressed! It might not be that big of a deal but can I get some geadcannons on how the brothers would react to this? (: (their lover working out for the first time in months because of their mental illness)

I respect this so hard and am super proud of you. I have similar struggles so it always makes me happy to see someone able to get back up. Good job :) These headcanons will be short because I’m getting ready for bed and have to get into school mode, but here you go! ♥ 

Lucifer

It wasn’t uncommon for him to wake you up, or even gently start the day by sitting at your bedside and whispering sweet nothings

He opens the door soundlessly, as always, and is quite surprised to see you in the middle of doing a yoga series. Thankfully, your back is to the door

Pride blossoms in his chest and, for the first time, it doesn’t feel heavy like the burden of his sin

It’s warm and joyful and feels like an old memory of the Celestial Realm, a call back to happier days

His eyes mist over a bit but no one can confirm it

Lucifer is a perfect, beautiful statue that watches for a few poses before slowly inching back towards the doorway to peek around the corner

Pretends like he never saw anything when you go about the rest of your day, but is absolutely glowing when he looks at you.

Lavishes you in his fancy praise, as always. (”You look enchanting, my love. Simply radiant today.”)

Mammon

He’ll deny it to the day he dies, but he craves your company.

Actually, he’s more likely to admit it when you’re in a depressive episode because you’re tender and vulnerable and that’s how he really is when he lets his guard down. That’s when people need the most love, and you’ve put him back together so much that he wants to repay the favor 1,000x fold

Mammon’s very surprised to see you running careful laps up one set of stairs and down the set on the other end of the hallway (that explains why it took him so long to find you).

It’s like speed walking. He watches for a lap and a half to make sure you’re not rushing off anywhere. You know, making sure nothing’s serious

When he realizes you’re exercising in earnest he’s super stoked. Like, #1 hype man.

“That’s my human! Yeah!” Mammon becomes your cheerleader

Drops sly comments about how it’s actually a good glute workout and he’ll give you a massage afterwards

Keeps up with you more than you’d expect (models train hard, okay?) but does get bored. Maintains cheer position

Carries you around the rest of the day when your legs are sore

Levi

Levi had to do a fair bit of research on depression when he realized you weren’t converting to being a fellow otaku shut-in

The two of you still enjoyed cuddle times, and sometimes he could engage you in games, but the health of his beloved was important! Humans couldn’t be without exercise for too long or it would be bad for them

It’s super awkward but he tries to invite you swimming and things. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy. He understands, and is totally down for cuddling you (with partial back rubs) while playing games

Makes sure you eat and definitely splits his rations

Enjoys the small walks from his room to yours, and makes sure you guys drift between them a couple of times a day. That helps humans, right?

Levi realizes fairly quickly that you haven’t been to his room in a while and goes to check on you

You’re hopping in patterns across the floor, slowly making your way to his room.

You look like you’re having fun!

He’s not sure what you’re doing, but you hop, you squat, then you lunge.

You lock eyes with Levi mid-lunge and wobble a bit. He’s a little pink in the face, but because he’s laughing in sheer delight at how spooked you looked.

You end up flopping over and Levi crouches beside you, offering his hand

When he hears you finally had a burst of energy and wanted to work out, to start over again, he’s very proud of you

May or may not have compared you to Henry and shared some of the more harrowing moments the hero went through (also how he’s awesome and came back better than ever!)

Invites you for a swim and you actually accept

After some laps and splashing about, you spend time floating and cuddling

Satan

Depression is sometimes just a thing humans go through, Satan is finding out.

Between Devildom books and human books, he kind of understands

It’s a thing of time, and sometimes other methods help. He personally thinks the lack of sun in the Devildom is the main culprit

Gives you healthy snacks and tracks down vitamins

Tries to get you to walk the gardens but realizes he can’t force it

Sometimes he gets you outside, reading under trees and lanterns

Satan roamed the House of Lamentation, intending to steal you for another outside reading session, and was surprised to find you out there already

He watched from a high window, peeking tentatively from behind the thick curtain, and let the amused smile cut his lips

Suddenly, you disappeared out of sight. Satan waited for what felt like ages until the logic of ‘the fastest way between Point A and B is a straight line’ kicked in. He held his book carefully, unlatched the window, and jumped out

Demons have good joints and sturdier bodies. The drop and landing was nothing for him.

He calls your name and starts walking around.

It’s not until he’s made a full lap and you’re giggling (behind him somehow?) that he realizes you’re just leisurely walking laps around the house

Super embarrassed that he got worried (and that you ended up behind him). Jumps when you touch his shoulders or if you hugged him around the waist

You’re happy and...yourself for the first time in a while and Satan’s heart is so happy. Before you can break the hug, he twines his fingers with yours and just holds your hand to his body

Eventually you break away, kiss his shoulders, and start a game of tag that turns into sky-watching, and laying on his chest as he reads 

Asmodeus

He knows how to break hearts but he ALSO knows how to fix him

He’s always trying to get his brothers to hang out and make good memories. Despite what he says and how he acts, he really cares for them from the bottom of his heart

You count, too. You’re like, top tier. Basically family. VIP space. Maybe SPOUSE space (but that’s too fast for a human, right?)

Though rare and private, Asmo has his bad days, too. They can either be fixed, or they can’t. Usually things are just distractions. The heart will heal in its own time.

Asmo went to your room with the latest round of pampering but stopped short of announcing himself. Does he hear...music?

Nudging the door open with his foot, his eyes light up so pink the gradient is disappearing.

You’re dancing and humming, making faces at yourself in the mirror.

His heart clenches with a beautiful pain because you’re so vibrant and lively and he knows it was hard for you to find this again

The pampering is abandoned for an impromptu PRIVATE dance party

Silly and sweet things, waltzing and just being close, hugging as you sway side to side

Lots of forehead kisses and pet names.

Beelzebub

He didn’t think your behavior was out of the ordinary since Belphie slept a lot.

Beel is always motivated by something--food, sports, working out, family stuff--so he’s not familiar with the lack of desire to do anything

When he learns you’re not just catching up on sleep and you might be having a rough time, he asks Lucifer and Satan what to do

They decide you should work out. That releases endorphins in humans and that sounds like what you need!

The attempts don’t go well, but you’ll at least come out of your room and be a resistance weight for him

Beel went into the weight room to do some pre-warm up exercises. He was mentally planning his reps and figuring out what muscle groups were on the schedule when he heard the clinking of weights

His brothers had other ways of working out so that meant only one person could be in the weight room

Beelzebub stamped down the urge to rush in and watch you in all your occupied glory, reminding himself you could drop a weight on yourself (or worse)

His purr gives him away

He’s proud, borderline excited, and just purrs long and loud from the entryway

Jumps into the workout with you, doing light exercises

Beel gets a little playful adjusting your posture, but it’s all sweet hugs and rocking you back and forth

Regardless of what muscle groups were on the schedule for the day, it’s arm day because he’s lifting you up, throwing you a little, and catching you in his arms

Give this happy, snuggly boy some kisses  

Belphegor

He can sense your state of mind by the nature of his sin. He sleeps a lot and has a knack for telling when someone’s sleep is anything but restful

Belphegor’s not 100% sure, but he thinks he can tap into your dream space. There’s this little ball of sad-tired-something that lets him know you’re not okay

There’s quiet mini-dates that ease the sting of your sadness, but he knows it’s not enough

When he sleeps, he has dreams about you being happy and hopes he can push them into your mind

Cuddles fix things. He’s down for couple naps.

Belphegor goes in and out of sleep; it’s during one of his periods of waking that he notices you’re not there

Hugging his pillow, he shuffles about the House of Lamentation to find you

He finds you cleaning and organizing the kitchen. Cleaning is a sign of healing, right? Lots of movement?

Belphegor realizes you’re doing more than cleaning. You’re stretching and lifting things like they’re Beel’s weights

It looks time-consuming, and like you’ve been at it for a while

Belphie plonks his head on your shoulder, asking how you’re feeling. He’s got that sleepy Cheshire Cat smile

You’re just as happy as can be, happier than he’s seen you in a while, and you celebrate by stealing a bunch of snacks and making a blanket fort in his room 

Hope you liked it :)

[fizzingwizard]

We got episode 3 “Into the Digital World”! And the good news is we are still Very Much at it with the Taishiro lol

This pic pretty much sums up the whole episode for me:

❤️!

Spoilers under the cut...

So let’s knock the most important thing off right away, at the end of the ep they DO go to a real digital world!

And it looks like a child’s fantasy... a beautiful natural world full of amazing creatures. I have no idea how similar it’s gonna be to the world we know, though! So far everything’s different, even things that seem the same. Keeps me guessing.

The landscape is pretty intriguing. Looks like a planet/moon on the horizon? And I’m sure that interesting island’s gotta mean something...

But back to the beginning.

So last week, I was all boggled because they introduced Omegamon and Jogress so early. It was easy to think that since they’d started this hype wave, they were gonna keep riding it out, especially with Hikari and Takeru seeming to receive magic feathers and all. Well, that’s not really how it goes down.

The battle is very quiet, with few words - none at all from Taichi or Yamato until Koushirou gets their attention. I am not 100% sure about this, but from the way Taichi looks to the side when an attack comes his way and Omegamon then takes it out, I think it might mean Taichi and Yamato have some mental work of their own to do to help Omegamon fight and that’s why they’re so quiet. But that’s just a thought. I do love the idea that the kids’ ties to their Digimon have more of an affect on their ability to battle than just their evolutions.

One thing a Jogress does is make you glow. Yeah yeah, we glowed before too. No, I mean GLOW.

Like, nonstop.

Also, I have figured out that Taichi and Yamato must have suction cups on their shoes and that’s how they don’t fall off Omegamon while he’s hurtling all over the place

Cue awesome rock version of the theme song battle music!! Omegamon kills nu!Diaboromon the same way he kills him in Our War Game, with a STAB. But that doesn’t stop the missile. Here I thought would be Koushirou’s turn to shine, but aside from continuing to keep tabs on things, he doesn’t get to join in the fight this time.

Omegamon is somehow able to detect missiles, I guess?

And lock on to the infected one, which conveniently shows an actual lock, is red, and even has the monster’s eyeball symbol. We also see a bunch of Digi code before this.

He absorbs the powers of all the Crests into his sword (!!) ...

(notice they’re still glowing!)

... and stabs it. Because in Digimon, stabbing is always the answer.

BOOM shakalaka

People of Tokyo: Wow that’s bright! I should probably avert my eyes or put on sunglasses. But first, to Instagram!

Thanks, Kouushirou’s computer.

The missle blows up way up high and no one gets hurt. They also don’t seem to care all that much about what this is either! Seconds later everyone’s devices lose power, including Koushirou’s computer. He is very distressed, but the outage doesn’t last long.

Yamato and Taichi’s suction cups finally lose their grip and they fall away into a bright light...

Omegamon became a butterfly!!

It is now certain, Taichi didn’t pull a Kouichi xD He’s perfectly fine. That’s the RIGHT way to get in and out of the digital world at a train station. Take notes, kids.

OK before we move on I must take a second to appreciate these text messages Koushirou receives from someone named Mr.Unknown (gee I’m sure we’ll never hear from him again!)

OMG my life is

WHAT KIND OF REACTION IS THAT TO YOUR IMMINENT DEATH!?!?

���Someone stop it!” Suddenly Japanese (also from Mr.Unkown)

Twenty bucks says this guy is Gennai? Ryou? Wallace? KEN?!

no don’t bet against me please, I have no money.

Have an adorable Hikari, who didn’t get to do anything with the feather in the end. Who knows if she even really has it. She DOES seem to totally know what happened with her brother though. Takeru might know also? But Hikari definitely does. Our little oracle is back.

So Taichi is fine, Koushirou is fine, Yamato is fine. They all get back to the human world safely. Taichi and Koushirou head home, wondering if all that really happened, talking about what could happen next. More importantly, the Taishiro power returns at full throttle.

Koushirou: Do you know about this? This? This?

Taichi: Hmm... hmmm... hmmm.. thinking makes my head hurt...

(Like I rag on Taichi for not thinking but tbh he’s quite the thinker and planner... maybe more so in this season than in the original.)

Gloves returned to pocket. Goggles still at the ready.

Then Taichi reaches out his hand... Koushirou stares at it like he’s not quite sure what to do with it. And Taichi’s like, “Thank you so much, for everything, you were a huge help!”

Koushirou: “But I didn’t do anything.”

Taichi: “You helped so much by doing all that research! You’re awesome!”

Koushirou: :D “Y-Yeah!!”

He agrees that he’s awesome!! My baby!!

They shake hands! They’re such good friends now!

... Then Taichi walks backwards out of the elevator with his hand still outstretched, staring at Koushirou

WHAT

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS!?!?

This show producers aren’t even TRYING to hide their bias hahaha okay that’s the Taishiro fan in me but HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO READ THIS SCENE CMON LIKE!?

So Taichi’s about to go home, and at this point I’m thinking “I guess Koushirou’s never gonna ask that question about camp...!”

Then Taichi is like, “Oh yeah, didn’t you have a question about camp?”

Fricking. TAICHI.

I am absolutely stunned that it’s him who brings up Koushirou’s original errand xD Koushirou himself has completely forgotten about it! (Too busy basking in the glow of being called awesome about twenty times in what this episode establishes is less than an hour!)

Seriously Taichi is SUCH A DAD!? His mom comes home and tells him about her day. Hikari comes over and he pats her on the head and tells her she was brave and did a good job. All he needs is a newspaper and a tie to reach peak Dad-ness.

Hikari: “Thanks big brother!”

Taichi: “...? For?”

So about Yamato... on the elevator Taichi realizes he never found out where Yamato lives...

... It’s Shimane. Grandma’s house in Shimane! Well I mean, they could make it somewhere else, but the point is it’s super inaka countryside. Yamato has a call with Takeru which makes it seem like they indeed don’t live together, as Takeru shyly asks Yamato if he’ll come visit since it’s summer break, and Yamato says he does intend to go to Tokyo and see him. Not sure yet who Yamato’s living with, if it’s still his dad or he lives with his grandparents in this version, or there’s some other reason he’s not in Tokyo...

Yamato also asks if Takeru’s okay, and Takeru replies he was inside all day so he’s fine. That’s what makes me think Takeru knows about Yamato going to the digital world. He might not, but I like the idea that he does. My guess would be he knows because he’s seen Yamato do it or something, whereas Hikari just knows because she’s psychic :P

Then guess what! WE GO TO CAMP!

Only for like, two minutes, though. That was a bummer for me. Camp is just a vehicle to introduce a couple other characters, then they go home. Well, we don’t need two of the exact same show I guess... I’ll just appreciate this as a nod to the original.

First we see Jou! He’s hancho again and trying to tell other kids how to use a knife. He immediately cuts his finger. Good ole Jou I can’t wait to have him back.

Taichi and Koushirou are walking around camp and Koushirou trips due to Jou yelling and basically throws his laptop straight into the air

Laptop: “FREEEEEDOM!”

Mr Superior Reflexes AKA Taichi quickly grabs Koushirou and prevents him from smashing face first into the dirt. GOSH THEY JUST WILL NOT STOP WITH THE TAISHIRO. I CANNOT.

Koushirou: “H-H-Human c-c-contact?!?!?! Is this SKINSHIP”

Like y’all know this isnt my fault right? I wouldn’t have to say these things if the show didn’t make it so durn easy. Bahahahaha.

Guess who catches the laptop! Soooooraaaaa!

My girl is back! She’s got butterflies!

Koushirou says he knows who she is because the girls in his class always talk about how she’s so cooooool!

This episode establishes that Sora is 1) popular 2) well-liked 3) responsible 4) quick-thinking 5) athletic 6) Taichi’s old friend 7) coooooool in like, thirty seconds.

Taichi and Koushirou continue to spend aaaaaall their time together. My one complaint here is that all they do is talk about the digital world. And while I know it’s no surprise, the one thing I always loved about old Adventure was that to a certain extent, the kids got to act like kids. Of course they had uncanny adult wisdom and ability to sit still, lol. I understand that. So far in this show, they’re not really acting like children even a little bit. It’s all superheroing. That’s how I feel at the moment though - the only one I expect to really act like a child is Takeru, and probably Mimi, I’d guess. I do hope we get to see a larger range of personality from all of them in the future. It is only episode three.

Koushirou’s icon is a pineapple <3

So there’s a new threat but it’s not as obvious as the old one. Another power outage happens but they don’t know how important it is right away. Then both Taichi and Koushirou’s digivices start to glow! Taichi runs out, and here we finally got some new personality from him, something beyond friendliness and bravery: He really, really wants to see Agumon again. He’s already feeling the depth of that bond and it’s really been weighing on him that they parted so abruptly. He has so many questions. I would say, Koushirou talked about the digital world non stop because he finds it interesting, but Taichi talked about it because he misses Agumon. (Koushirou after all hasn’t met Tentomon yet.)

Before he can run out, Taichi runs into Hikari in the living room. She’s worried, and she clearly knows what he’s up to, but all she says is “Itterasshai.” I super appreciate that the set up and lighting is the same as these scenes between the two of them in original Adventure! It’s a total throwback to that hallmark ep of Adventure, episode 21.

Unable to think about anything but seeing Agumon again, Taichi runs outside to the train station where Koushirou is (I wonder if the train station is going to become like their base point or something). He doesn’t even notice Sora, but she notices him...

... and in true Sora fashion, immediately turns around and starts chasing after Taichi without a word xD

ugh I will always hate how PINK she is in this

Sora: “Taichi’s running somewhere awful fast... he has that look on his face... he’s going to get into trouble ugh I just know it”

The digivices glow and both Taichi and Koushirou disappear into the digital world. As they go through the vortex, we see a bunch of colored lights...

So this one is clearly Taichi and Koushirou, and Sora as well. My guess is she gets swallowed up as a result of following Taichi.

However, over here we have Yamato, Jou, and Mimi, but why would they all be together? Yamato’s fine, but how are the other two getting in?

It doesn’t seem like Takeru’s joining this time, which is interesting. But I might be wrong - only episode 4 will tell.

Taichi wakes up in the real Digital World and is finally reunited with Agumon. End episode 3 <3

I’m really curious about what’s coming next! I’m still pretty shocked that a Jogress happened so early, but I’m gonna guess now that we might not see it again for a good long while. My prediction is that Yamato’s gonna be more like the lone wolves of other seasons (Ken, Ruki, Kouji, etc) who don’t want to join the main team right away, then suddenly just do. Everyone loves a rogue hero. I am super excited for the whole team to be together though so we can see all those personality dynamics grow! I really want them to not go home for a while and have to live by their wits, but I don’t think that’s the way this show wants to go, it wants the drama of going back and forth between lives... OTOH, we now know for sure that it IS summer break, so I suppose they don’t really have a NEED to go home. Maybe we’ll get a bit of both - they usually go home after, but sometimes end up on a longer stay?

I think what I need most from this show is the rest of the team before it will really feel like Digimon Adventure to me. So looking forward to episode 4!

eta: I totally forgot about the pics I took of the trailer for next week!

Look how awesome this is! This is exactly what I am hoping sticks around for a good long time! We need the partners to bond and we need to live up to the name of “Adventure”!

Since the trailer only shows Taichi and Sora, I wonder if that means everyone’s split up. Koushirou’s light seemed a bit distant from the other two in that screencap up there, so maybe he lands somewhere else and they all have to find each other. Makes sense, really. I’d expected that for the other three but figured Koushirou would be with Taichi... but it’ll be awesome if he has to try to get by on his own in the beginning. Also, so excited for Birdramon!

Bonus: I found a vid on youtube that claimed to have English subs and I clicked out of curiosity... this is what it wrote when Taichi says “Koushirou”:

X’D Koushirou has so many nicknames now. DJ Wiseman, Kou the Bro, Awesome, Taichi’s New God, Godzilla... I love Youtube.

[thetakenpokemon]

@theorangelopunny

“And there we have it folks! Hus.La, the young prodigy has just mercilessly bodied FlawlessLegend in that FT100 set of DragonSphere FighterZ!” The commentator exclaimed as the crowed roared and cheered for the Video Game Extraordinaire known as Hus.La who has once again taken the stage in a dominating fashion. “The fact that she didn’t lose a single match while playing this man says so much about her endurance and her mentality. I had no idea Gochu would be so damn good as her Anchor but along side Gochu Black and Cybor 31 on Point, she set-up the perfect shell that covered all the stops!” The analyst explained while maintaining all the hype from a perfect 100-0 set. “All this tech found no doubt after labbing like the monster she is for a solid week straight. I cant wait to see her in later tournaments! With that being said, This is PTY Hypez, Signing out!” he said with clear excitement in his voice as he took his headset off and flew away. Who knew they made headsets that small for Ribombees? “Wassup guys, Trish HatTricks here waiting for ‘Monarch of Brawlers’ to start and joining me will be Purrrrrrshia–” she started and soon started to fade away as Hus.La got off of the stage and went outside the vicinity to get some fresh air. She was extremely happy and proud of her perfect win streak but she needed to move around a little. Getting up on the stage and actually playing takes a lot more than just skimming at home. So she went to go explore the town of Pearldom! seeing all the local shops they had and aiming for a restaurant to get some food in her belly. Our of the corner of her eye, she saw someone strange yet awesome. A Pokemon that looked like the mythical creature known as a Naga! This particular ‘mon was part Seviper and part Nidoking it seem– Wait a second. Those clothes… Oooooh we’re gonna have fun with this one! Hus.La quickly abandoned her train of thought for food and dashed up to the naga-esque 'mon with stars and her eyes and a wide smile on her face. “You…look wickedly cool!” she exclaimed. “Everything about you just screams master-class Ninja!” she continued then pulled back to do her famous flourish with a winking pose. “I’m Hus.La! Video Game Extraordinaire! It would be my honor if you would considering being the rogue in my LARP'ing group! It’d be so much fun once I find two more members! We would be able to live out our own adventure!” she explained still extremely excited at the possible addition to her LARP'ing party. But there’s just oooooone last thing she has to ask. “Oh! Do you also mind if we take a selfie? I love being able to take pictures with all the awesome new people I meet when I travel!”

[PoV: Minato]

While the other members split away to cool off, I stayed put with Snakewulf. I actually decided conversr with him, since this is the first time I’ve actually met him face to face.

Out of all the members, the Night Watchers are the ones who spend the least time at the GoT HQ. Their job requires them to be constantly moving from one place to the next, keeping tabs on things and looking out for any abnormal activity or threats. But they do have their times when they’re at the GoT HQ, so that they can rest and relax during their break periods.

But out of all the Night Watchers, Snakewulf has never been on break. He’s always out in the field, moving from one place to the next as ordered. This however is of his own request, since he supposedly enjoys the outdoors and the changes of scenery. And because of this I’ve never actually met him, which is why I’ve taken the opportunity to converse with him.

Despite his unusual appearance, he’s actually…a very nice individual. Very kind and inquisitive as well as very casual, even quite humorous with the occasional quip and joke. We were mostly just talking about what we’ve been up to as well as interests, which was more than fine by me.

The conversation is interrupted however, due to a loud exclamation from an interestingly dressed Lopunny. We both look over at her, mine with confusion and Snakewulf’s with amusement.

Master…class…ninja?

Snakewulf ends up laughing. “She has a point you know.” He tells me, glancing over with a twinkle in his orange reptilian eyes. “You do rather fit the bill with the ‘master-class ninja’, from what I’ve read in several books.”

O…kay…

Her question however ended up catching me off guard even more, since…well…no one has ever asked me to join a ‘LARP’ group before.

I smile uncertainly at the Lopunny. “It is…nice to meet you, Hus.La.” I say with a small bow, still unsure of the whole encounter. “I am Silence, and this is-”

“Snakewulf.” He interrupts me, sitting down and letting his hand-like tail flick from left to right. “While not a ‘master-class ninja’, I’d like to think that I’m around that sort of level~” He stops for a moment and tilts his head. “However I’ve never heard of ‘LARPing’ before, mind if you could fill me in?”

I turn to Snakewulf, deciding to answer for the Lopunny. “LARP is an acronym for ‘Live Action Roleplaying’. It’s usually acting out fictional settings with groups of people, for the enjoyment of pretending to be in various scenarios.”

At this the unique hybrid’s eyes widen with realization. “Ahh, so it’s essentially like what I’ve seen younglings do.” He starts laughing again. “I’ve never thought adults would still be into it, since I assumed that it was something that you would ‘grow out’ of.”

Well…it’s not quite like that, since it tends to have rules as well from what I remember Delilah explaining to me. However I decide against further explaining to Snakewulf, since he had the concept. “That’s…correct.” I eventually say before looking back at Hus.La, since I need to respond to her question. “I am honored that you would approach me just to offer a spot in this ‘LARP’ group, however…” My nervous smile is replaced with an apologetic look. “I’m afraid that I have to decline. Although I am always up to experience new things, but due to my job with my guild taking a lot of my time…I won’t be able participate.” Well, that’s not the exact reason since I often have plenty of free time between assignments. But I didn’t want to straight up tell her that I didn’t want to...since that might hurt her feelings.

I bow my head again. “Watashi wa hontōni zan'nendesu, Hus.La. I thank you again for your offer, I appreciate it immensely even though I can’t accept it.”

“And yet you didn’t offer me a spot.” Snakewulf comments dryly, however his face possesses an amused smile without a trace of offense. “Not that I would be able to take you up on it, since I’m also a very busy doggy. Gotta sniff out bad guys twenty four seven, after all~.” His tail stops its flicking and starts scratching the top of his head, probably to take care of an itch. “Still, very cool to hear that adults don’t drop that childish part of them. Keep at it, I say! Everyone needs to indulge into their inner pup once a while.” He stops, his eyes flicking to one of the roads before looking back at me. “Looks like the other members are coming back Silence, they’re probably ready to get started I’m assuming.”

I look over to where he looked, and in the distance on the road I see some figures approaching us. I had to squint my eyes in order to make out Asmund, which shows how keen Snakewulf’s eyesight is.

I look down another road and I notice several forms of Midnight Storm, meaning that they’re all coming back. With this knowledge in hand I turn back to Hus.La, putting on a kind smile. I was about to tell her that I was sorry to end this conversation now, but I had to pause and realize that she asked me something else.

She wanted to take a…selfie?

“What…is a selfie?” I ask her.

At this point Snakewulf starts laughing. “Alright, so you know what ‘LARPing’ is but not a selfie?” The hybrid starts shaking his head. “It’s taking a photo of yourself, Silence. It tends to involve a smart phone pointed at yourself, and it can also include various others with you. It’s all the rage at the moment, I know since I’ve been studying modern culture.” The draconic wolf sits up and strides over to Hus.La. “Now you didn’t ask me this, but I’m joining in. You’d better say yes, since otherwise I’m gonna photobomb it and make it better by having my face completely taking up the photo~”

I look back at the approaching figures of the GoT before turning to Snakewulf and Hus.La, my face uncertain again. “I…don’t see a reason on why I would decline, however I must ask for it to be brief since we’re needed.”

“Yeah yeah, but it WON’T be brief unless you get your snake butt over here.” Snakewulf laughs, gesturing for me to come over with his tail. “C’mon! Time’s a-wasting, I want to make sure my good side is taken!”

Wasting no time I quickly slither over to them. I notice Snakewulf sitting down and raising his tail, the claws doing its best impression of a ‘peace symbol’ even though it only has three claws.

Seeing that I’m rather big compared to the smaller Pokemon, I take advantage of my serpentine body and lower myself more to their level. Unsure on what exactly I have to do, I decide to smile and mimic what Snakewulf is doing with his tail.

“And remember! Say cheese!” Snakewulf adds through his wide smile.

Well…okay. “Cheese?”

[autumn-in-phandom]

A review of "How WHITE is Dan?!- DNA TEST RESULTS"

I was riding in the car on the way to the store when I heard a familiar alert coming from my phone. I wondered aloud “Ooo is that Dan?” He was due to have a video out today or tomorrow, but it could be one of the few other channels I’m subscribed to. I’ve been psyched out before. I opened my phone and yes it was Dan and what was more, the word DNA was there. “They were right!” Those psychic IDB members with their “strong feelings” were right. 

I for one didn’t think Dan would make this video. Mainly because he said so himself during a liveshow in the spring, shortly after Phil had posted his. He had admitted to taking the test as well, but the results were so vague and he was disappointed. I could relate, having bought DNA kits for my parents and getting very broad results, particularly for my mother’s side, which we wanted to know more about. 

However, one shouldn’t take Daniel Howell at his word. He could be lying, or in this case he might just change his mind with the seasons. He wasn’t feeling it back then, but there was a hint in his last solo liveshow that he was thinking about ancestry again. The chat asked about “the grandma tweet” and he pulled up the photo of someone’s distant relative who had a strikingly similar face to his. Someone said it could be his great-grandmother, after all his own grandma was adopted. So reasonably, someone on IDB predicted that Dan would work this photo into his DNA video. After all Dan often sits on ideas for videos and then decides to make them when he feels the “the time is right” (or the topic is relevant). 

Dan did indeed choose to make this video now for a specific reason, and while the photo may have inspired him, it didn’t make an appearance or get a mention. Apparently the driving force behind this video was current events. Current events that some fans were disappointed that Dan and Phil had not mentioned. The heated protests in Charlottesville, Virginia were mentioned in the first eight seconds: 

“Hello Internet, in these times when apparently (camera zooms in on his lips) *some people* find it difficult to tell the difference between protesting racism and *racism*, I thought it would be relevant and mildly interesting to make a video about the shared genetic history of all humans by finding out *the origins of my ancestors*.“ (Cue the soft grey filter with fake lens flares, zen music and calm hand movements from Daniel). 

I was immediately intrigued, but a bit skeptical. How was a video entitled "How WHITE is Dan?!” going to positively address racism? Especially knowing that his results were boring, so probably not that diverse. Well, he did it by following through on his topic sentence and actually showing the shared genetic history of all humans through maps of human migration. He also did some historic research into his small percentage of West African DNA. Of course the little sign in the background reading ‘AYY FUCK NAZIS’ and his black shirt with red Cyrillic letters that translate to “equality” were nice aesthetic touches. 

Mind you, the actual factual human migration information comes later in the video. First we have sarcastic philosophical Dan waffling on about lizard people on Pangea slowly drifting apart “metaphorically and physically, until the inevitable nuclear apocalypse blows our planet into tiny chunks floating infinitely into the abyss of space” with a starry falling through space effect. Woah there nihilistic Dan, stay with us. 

It’s okay, there is a quick jump cut that changes the tone immediately. It’s a mention of Phil and his DNA video, complete with a clip of “Science!Phil”. What’s more, Dan says that Phil ordered the DNA test kit for him. Perhaps, it’s just to set up his own reluctance, as he goes on to do just that. For some of us, the idea of Phil ordering DNA testing for both of them (even if it is to use in a video) paints a pretty domestic picture. Though in Phil’s video he says he was given his for free by a friend of the family who is a doctor, thinking it would make a cool video. Perhaps this is why neither of their videos seem to be sponsored by the DNA testing company, 23andMe. Or are they?

Cue relatable slightly paranoid Dan with some sharp humor about “laboratories” and being cloned and replaced “by a compliant artificial intelligence” by Mark Zuckerberg (thanks for knowing the correct spelling of that iPad) or “Zuck”, with a Stephen Hawking like voice saying “I’m coming for you Danny”. Dan of course gave a fake name for his DNA profile (as did Phil), but kept his date of birth. However he admits there isn’t really any point in trying to protect his identity on the internet. Okay, John Johnson. 

“Are you ready! Am I ready? I have no idea what to expect to be honest.” Here’s the part where I have to suspend my disbelief and just accept that Dan pretending to react to these results as if he didn’t view them several months ago does make for a better video. Just like Dan pretending to play Bubble Bobble for the first time on the gaming channel in 2016, when in reality he tweeted about reaching level 100 with Phil back in 2009, did result in a very sweet gaming video. 

 Add a being related to a giraffe joke to the lizard one. I’m not sure if this is really helping the “one human race” thing, but it’s a pretty harmless joke. “Wow. Looking pretty white. That is one blue circle there, isn’t it JJ?” (the blue being European ancestry). Dan is 98.2% European and he jokes that this is the end of the video only a minute and half in. 

Dan drags his ancestors for “literally” sticking to four countries (Britain, Ireland, France and Germany) when in reality those results are lumping Britain and Ireland together because they share so much common DNA, the same for French and German. He is also ignoring that 33.8% of his Northwest European genetics is broadly undefined and he hasn’t gotten to the Southern European, Scandinavian or West African parts yet. But I still found “really got out there and saw the world” quite funny. “Okay someone saw the sun at least” was a good one, though I wish he would have addressed his ability to tan darkly in this video, perhaps in the fair skin section. More on that below. 

More relatable humor about not wanting to hike or get on a boat gets worked in to Dan finding out that he is not the least bit Asian or American. I vaguely recall a rumor about him being part Asian, let’s lay one that to rest. And I remember him hoping years ago that he might be part Native American because his grandma was adopted, but I found that extremely unlikely. Probably just a bit of wishful thinking perhaps brought on by being Team Jacob. 

Now here is the part that interests me the most. On the Ancestry DNA test I gave to my parents, 1.8% was considered a “trace amount”, but in this 23andMe service they give a specific timeline for when each genetic group cropped up and the West African and Scandinavian both span from the late 1700s to mid 1800s, not that long ago. Dan concludes that “a ‘Scandi’ and a West African got it together” (insert graphic of the two countries coming together with a smooching sound effect). I’m not sure if that timeline is definitively saying they were a couple, but Dan’s Wikipedia research supports it and it is an interesting bit of history. 

Segue into a brief farming family reunion story. 400 cousins, I’m sure. Shift to black and white and cue the unexplained mysteries music for Dan’s adopted grandmother mention. Dan “feels like there’s some epic adventure story there for another time”. Sign me the frick up! In fact please just bring your grandma onto one of your YouTube videos. She has always been the one Dan has been most comfortable talking about and even sharing pictures of. (Oh 'helo ther’ unflattering selfie from the Tinder spon on Dan’s computer). 

I appreciate Dan showing the Haplogroup migrations of his paternal line, but in true Dan fashion it included commentary about “presumably wrestling mammoths and getting frozen or something” in Asia and “then buggered off to Europe to get bitten by a rat or something”. “And consistently had sex for thousands of years. Well done ancestors (Dan applauds) truly incredible story. Lord of the Rings. Ten out of ten. Would read again.” Lovely sarcastic Dan. 

 And as he hypes up “the fun stuff”, “weird things about your personality, health and biology”, and “intimate specific information” that he probably shouldn’t share with the Internet”, but he will because he’s “just a piece of meat”, I get hit with a mid video ad of Gwen Stefani applying mascara, because the cheeky bastard made this exactly ten minutes and one second long. (To be fair Phil did the same thing recently). 

Dan has 300 Neanderthal variants, more than 82% of their customers. This is the same percentage as Phil, who talked about his head and brow shape and nasal chambers, but Dan uses this to relate to his “dank cave” dwelling habits (never opening the curtains of his bedroom). Based on his genetics, Dan is not likely to be a deep sleeper. “As I always say, why bother sleeping when you can stay awake thinking about stuff that makes you anxious. Right! Woo!” Dan addressing his mental health with humor, is always appreciated. I can actually see the power athlete possibility. He could be a big strong guy, but “wasted potential” and all that. (Personally my lazy self recoils at the idea of people dedicating so much of their time to training up their bodies to be these perfect machines, but hopeful D&P are spending some time at the gym for their general health.) “Looking at memes and talking about myself” is a great self-aware one liner. 

 Alright “cheek dimples”! Flop. What does this test know anyway? Stop referring to them as a deformity Dan, everyone loves your dimples! Okay I just did a bunch of reading on dimples and I guess they are considered a genetic deformity now a days. However on a social-biological level they may have all sorts of benefits, from being able to read emotions more clearly, to people wanting to procreate with you and not abandoning their cute babies. Dan has also been saying lately that he’s double deformed, but it is actually quite rare to have one side of your cheeks dimpled. (I used to have dimples as a child and all of a sudden they are back, but they are closer to my mouth than my smile lines and may just be from fat. Who knows.) 

 Alright good thing this isn’t a spon, calling the results “garbage”, “pseudoscience” and a “farce” even in jest, might not fly. Dan’s distrust of blonds Tweet is (at least partially) explained. I still think it might also relate to Dream Daddy and it is a mighty coinkidink that it was posted on the one year anniversary of Frank Ocean’s album. Promos all around? We just need to accept that Dan is a multilayered creature we will never fully understand. My husband will appreciate being compared to a unicorn though. 

Dan’s pain kink and weird enjoyment of the dentist makes a resurgence! Please make a full video out of this Dan. We promise not to shame… much. “Scrape me Dad-”. Interestingly enough Phil has an average sensitivity pain but thought it would be higher, hates having his gums scraped and implied his dentist might be a sadist. 

Dramatic build up and disclaimer for genetic health and increased risk of disease section. Feeling very relieved for the low risk of Altzheimers after reading that tear jerking dementia phanfic the other day (though it was Phil with the disease and I don’t think he mentioned it in his video). Dan was clearly worked up as well. He rests his face in his palm and is visibly pink and blotchy. 

He balances the seriousness with an over the top dramatic reaction to being a carrier for red hair, complete with a black and white fake sobbing scene. I’ll admit I found his pause at “So you’re telling me that there’s a chance that I could have children— born with red hair” a bit distracting, though I’m sure it wasn’t mean that way. “There was no disclaimer for this one.” Ha. I case you didn’t know he’s just joking “you beautiful sunset heads, rub those freckles all over me.” Dan has made his love of ginger people quite clear in the past and this tends to start a discourse about Phil’s natural hair color. 

I’ll weigh in on this. Phil was clearly ginger as a young child, just as Dan was blond when he was little. Both of their hair darkened quite a bit as they grew up, each becoming increasingly more brown. It’s harder to tell with Phil because he has denied his natural hair color for so long and seemingly makes up things about old photographs. Did he actually dye his hair before his first day of secondary school? Perhaps it was a bit of bleach that brighten it up and brought out the yellow/orange tones. In Phil’s Tinder spon he did admit to his hair getting a bit ginger during the summer. However by the time of his graduation, early university years and his appearance on 'The Weakest Link’ he had light-medium brown hair that I have a hard time considering a shade of auburn. You might call it nutmeg, but not cinnamon. I have medium auburn hair that has dulled with age, but does get more copper in the sun. But I don’t think Phil can be considered ginger anymore, especially as he chooses not to embrace it, so Dan’s love of ginger people seems completely separate from his fondness for Phil (except perhaps the freckles). 

Moving on to skin pigmentation and the title of his video, “How white is Dan Howell?” He laughs at his genetically light skin. 39% Very fair, 32% Moderately fair and “at most 25% Light beige” and acknowledges his privilege. It would have been a great chance to maturely talk about his ability to tan when he was younger, relating to his Southern European and West African ancestry without making problematic 2010/2011 era jokes. However it seems paleness is part of Dan’s branding now (since Phil has clearly turned him into a vampire). Or it’s just the “never go outside”, “cave dwelling” schtick. We’ve all seen your freckles Dan. 

In conclusion he hopes that people took something away from this be it “the possibility that [he] will have a ginger child in the future, that no one believes is [his], or that humanity has so much in common and we shouldn’t be divided by fascism, or that in the near future 'Zuck’ will be able to target ads to us based on our genetic code.” I sure hope it’s the middle one. “Ayy fuck Nazis”. Still, Dan gives us 20 years before society implodes. Finally he turns a joke about exercise into a confession about crying while reading the news. Seriously, well done Mr. Howell. (Nice promo for the casual and intimate liveshows too.) 

This was a great contrast to Phil’s light hearted DNA results video with Science!Phil, CushionStack.com, buff kangaroo attraction, naked mole rats, Buffy Summers alias, “top of the morning to ya”, Phil’s French ear, German elbow, Swedish eyebrow and Sardinian freckle, alien jokes, celebrity haplogroups, testing out his photic sneeze reflex and short-term memory and talking about asparagus urine detection. Bless Phill. I love him, truly. 

Both Dan and Phil’s videos do inspire me to send off the raw data of my parents DNA to a better company that can give me more detailed results. Maybe 23andMe. I’ve heard good things about the Human Genome Project as well. Ancestry DNA was pretty rubbish. 'Zuck’ and his wife should give these boys some money (if they haven’t already).

[sixmorningsafter]

Chapter 14 Review - Intimacy and evasiveness in equal measure

Thank you so so much for this chapter; you are freaking awesome. At this point, your fic is longer than most PhD thesis. You’re completely bonkers, in the absolute best way. Please never change. Seriously, the level of interactivity in this fic is such fun and thank you for encouraging that. Some of the recent fancasts have been beyond amazing.

Gabi: “the level of interactivity in this fic is such fun” - you mean how I take fifty fucking years to respond to reviews that legitimately make my life!?!?!?!?! THAT LEVEL OF INTERACTIVITY!?!?! LMAO, gurl, can I just say before I dive into any of this that this review literally made me go back and edit some parts, that’s how helpful it was, and yet here I am, answering it an entire CHAPTER LATER!? For some reason the feedback for fourteen was really slow at first and then all of a sudden like 10 giant reviews came in at the same time, and I just took way too long to get around to all of them and kept answering the short ones first (because they take less thought/time), and then once I was done answering the short ones I was drained because I’m weak and wouldn’t survive the winter. BUT HERE I AM. Ten years later. Ready to friggin go. LET’S DO IT.

Firstly, I can’t believe you stopped before the Steroline sex! Rude. I would have been devastated (melodramatic OTT much) had you not given us one of the best SC kisses ever. Honestly, I think I might have sighed a little out loud. And after Stefan’s stupid assed, jealousy mental meltdown, Caroline demonstrates exactly why he has no need to be jealous in one sentence - “Damon could do all those things without it once being intimate.” It’s really obvious that ‘intimate’ is a mental thing for Caroline, I loved watching the switch click in Caroline’s mind from non intimate to intimate. Oh Caroline - you poor silly girl, you’ve got it bad!

Gabi: So, the plus side of answering this once 15 is already up is that I don’t have to feel bad about blue ballsing anyone anymore, muahahaha. Steroline sex is officially up and out there and there’s no taking it back now. Re: 14, though, love alllll of these insights and the particular moments of theirs that you choose to compare and contrast. They’re both stupid levels of in denial here, but the good news is the end of 15 and hopefully the majority of 16 is a bit of a new era for them - one where they actually try, I don’t know, communicating? It’s going to be wild. 

The part where they are watching YouTube videos together and eating Caroline’s secret food stash (naughty Caroline keeping treats from the other inmates of 2B - tsk, tsk) was very sweet and surprisingly intimate in it’s own right. I love how they have elements of easy friendship that they don’t even seem to recognise. I’m very interested in how their sexy timez are going to go because they could be hot, sweet or kind of silly/jokey or maybe all three. I think it’s going to get intimate whether Caroline likes it or not; Stefan may even bust out some of his Disney Prince romance vibes. I’m so intrigued as to who their third wheel could be.

Gabi: I really enjoyed writing that scene for exactly that reason - that somehow, these two super awkward people with a bunch of confusion and tension between them keep finding themselves in random moments of easygoing camaraderie, and all it really takes for that to happen is time and/or a distraction. I’m trying to hint at a possible future for them that doesn’t have all of this drama, that’s actually driven by a genuine enjoyment of spending time together and light-hearted banter and a warm hum of affection, but their poor coping/communication skills from their past experiences are just getting in that way of it. And hahaha, re: sexy timez, now you know! Disney Prince romance vibes definitely happened and Caroline, well... had some conflicts with it. As for the silly/jokey thing, I wouldn’t rule that out just yet for future scenes.

I know you are trying to achieve balance between your characters. At this point, I feel I know a lot about Stefan, Bonnie and Caroline, but with Damon, he’s still a mystery.

I both love and hate that we don’t know more.

Love - because I know you are being all clever and writery and keeping it from us on purpose. That having us see Damon through the other characters’ eyes is a clever way of 'revealing’ titbits without revealing them. Even Damon’s internal monologue is super evasive and kind of shallow (compared to Bonnie’s about him which was downright hilarious and completely nuts especially the hitman, Bonnie the world’s most boring mark lmao).

Hate - because I am such an impatient spoiler seeking nut bag, I need to know everything! Look honestly though, if you had told me before this started that I would actually be interested in Damon as a character himself, not as Bonnie’s boyfriend or Stefan’s brother, I would have scoffed at you. See Gabi, this is the power you wield. Use it wisely! Mwah ha ha.

Gabi: SOOO it was definitely still in the typical evasive flashes-of-insight format that Damon’s PoV tends to operate in, but I think 15 hopefully gave you a little more of what you were looking for regarding him? His guard was forcibly down for a bit, and his head went more into his complicated relationship with his mom, and part of the reason why I didn’t tie his panic attack fully up in 15 was because I’m carrying that arc into 16. There’s definitely aftermath, there’s definitely Bonnie the Hufflepuff making him feel unsettling things and think more about his life, and there’s also some Kai/Damon stuff that’ll have echoes of Damon/Tyler. So much more Damon ahead! And GURL, you don’t even know how happy it makes me to hear that re: ‘if you had told me before this started that I would actually be interested in Damon as a character’. That’s like the biggest compliment to me for some reason, like it gets me so hyped, so thanks so, so much for telling me! It’s tough to get people to like characters even when they’re blank slates, so getting someone to actually come around to someone they weren’t about before is like YAAAAAAS. 

In all seriousness, Damon didn’t deserve the kicking he got from Stefan in the opening scene. Sorry Stef, that was uncalled for even if Damon did start it. While this scene was all about Stefan’s pov and his reactions, Damon’s evasiveness is totally in character. Even though he’s oh-so-not-bothered, Stefan’s assessment of him has to smart a bit. I hope these two crazy kids work it out. I need my drigh!brotp back together. (Quick aside about Stefan – I hope at some point, he’s going to fess up that it wasn’t about Damon, Bonnie, Caroline or even Elena. It was about his own feelings of insecurity. It’s like Bonnie’s rampage of self-destruction as the person most hurt by this is himself. It’s actually very canon Stefan.)

Gabi: He definitely didn’t deserve it, and I wanted to write it that way because I wanted to show that Stefan, like everyone else in this godforsaken headache of a story, is a flawed character who gives into emotional reactions and insecurity sometimes and acts out. Like I really wanted to make it clear that Stefan was in the wrong there, and I really wanted to do it at Damon’s expense because at the shallowest of glances, Damon would be the guy you’d assume can be asshole sometimes and Stefan would be the guy you’d label as the patient, understanding saint, and 14 chapters in, I really wanted to flip that. As harmlessly trolly as Damon can be to Stefan about Caroline, turns out that Stefan is the one who drew first blood between them, you know? And I think you’re totally right about the oh-so-bothered-but-not-really thing re: Damon - he’s been called terrible things his whole life, so he’s learned how to let them slide off him like butter, but even butter leaves a trail, you know? They definitely add up to a perception he has of himself that’s probably darker/less flattering than it needs to be, and Bonnie absolutely confronts that in 16. She’s kind of like, ‘hey, newsflash dark and twisty, you’re a good guy’. She has a little speech I’ve written out that I really like. Lots of feelsiness coming in 16, man. Including Stefan insights and realizations about insecurity!

I’m still super interested by Damon’s two identities. Are the two different dates of birth significant? Him not mentioning anything after Bonnie fessing up to poking in his wallet - evasive much? So he doesn’t take his Fell ID out normally? I need more details, here, stop trying to kill me.

Gabi: lololol, got a little more of this in 15! I’m not sure how much was obvious from the story because Damon’s thoughts about his past always come out super jagged when I write them (and obviously I know the whole thing ‘cause I’m making it up, lmao), but I think I gave enough to kind of explain why he had that ID on him? Maybe?

Bonnie telling him all about her sex dreams had him speechless and I loved that. Yes, he was very much – that’s ok Bon, sexy daydreams are fine, but I still think there was an element of him being chuffed about it. That was really cute; I liked that his reaction wasn’t to grab her and lay one on her - she did that instead (oh Bon, you saucy minx). I loved their kiss, so hot; I really like their connection, it has a more brutal honesty to it than Steroline’s. By that I mean that Caroline lets Stefan get away with more introspection because that’s what suits her, whereas Damon pushes Bonnie to lay out her soul for him because he really wants someone to do it back to him, deep down. I may be over analysing this and be completely wrong.

Gabi: LMAOOO, ‘you saucy minx’ - she really is. And Damon is all about it. And no, you’re 100% spot on in your analysis of the two ships, assss usual - I think that’s a brilliant way to put it. Damon doesn’t wonder as much about Bonnie because he pushes, in more ways than one, till she gives him answers. He’s confrontational. Blunt. And Bonnie needs that, because her insecurities and problems are so deeply, deeply entrenched into her that they’re basically covered in layers of cement. You can’t slowly uncover that, you need a jack hammer (vs. for Caroline and Stefan, the wounds are still a little too fresh and shallow for a jackhammer to do anything except make it worse. They need the gentle discovery). Damon’s a bit of a paradox in that he’s either 100% blithe and flippant and dgaf, or he’s 100% blunt and real talk, and generally he uses the first mode to evade and the second mode to investigate. Problem is, Bonnie’s a bit of a jackhammer herself, and I think 15 was the beginning of the tide shifting to Damon being the one under the spotlight. And we’ll see how he likes that moving forward. Payback’s a bitch.

Did I detect that Damon might have a slight bird phobia? A dove in your shower is never good, but he seemed more than a little nervous. Also how is his hand doing? Dr Bon needs to follow up her patients better. I am kind of surprised how prompt he was for Kai’s dinner. Does Damon have immaculate time keeping? Or he is genuinely terrified of Kai? I guess I’m kind of struggling to find Kai scary, a bit loopy, somewhat odd, but I was really surprised that Damon would be scared of him (I have blanked out the crossbow in his face episode). We know he can handle himself in a fight (thank you for that Caroline) and he’s survived that gunshot as a child. Damon strikes me as being hard as nails (except around Bon) - Kai should be a cakewalk. Does he recognise something in Kai that he might have experienced in his past? Chapter 15 should be illuminating - I really hope we get plenty from his pov. I can’t wait.

Gabi: You did and it was totally unintentional. I actually went back and read over the way I’d written it after this feedback and totally got the same vibe (it was meant to be humorous but definitely came across as a little deeper than that), so thanks so much for pointing this out! I did a few little edits that I think put forth a more accurate picture of both the bird reaction (annoyance, bafflement, Damon in general being a growly diva) and his immaculate time-keeping (which was definitely supposed to be the focus more so than any actual fear of Kai, which, lmao, I think 15 makes pretty clear doesn’t exist). I think I could maybe argue that getting attacked by a dove in the shower could carry a bit of trauma from his basement-with-rats days, but even so, he’d hide that, so. Edited and more accurate thanks to bomb feedback!

ANYWAY, THIS IS ONCE AGAIN 600 YEARS LATE but oddly, it was kind of fun answering it with 15 already written? In any case, I’m so friggin’ sorry it took me this long to respond, and your feedback, as always, is one of my fave things about writing this fic because it’s always so hilarious and insightful. Thanks so, so much for this review, and hopefully 15 delivered the things you were after and 16 will deliver them even more. LOVE YA, BABE!

[junker-town]

The Players Championship 2017: Predictions and picks for TPC Sawgrass

The Players Championship boasts the strongest field in golf on one of the most exciting courses in the world. Here are some picks and predictions for the week at Sawgrass.

The Players Championship has carved out a unique identity as the premier championship on the PGA Tour. It’s on one of the more famous courses in the world and this is the week we make our annual visit to TPC Sawgrass. Dustin Johnson is back following his mishap on the steps in Augusta. Rory McIlroy is back after getting married. Sergio Garcia is back after taking a month away with his new jacket.

The best in the world all show up for this championship, which boasts one of the richest purses in the game and its strongest field. SB Nation golf staffers Brendan Porath and Kyle Robbins hit some of the discussion points and make some predictions for this week at The Players.

Dustin Johnson and Rory McIlroy, the Nos. 1 and 2 players in the world, are paired together for the first two days. Who has the better week?

Kyle Robbins: There’s no real point in debating it at this current moment: Dustin Johnson is the best player in golf right now, back injury or not. But if you’re thinking back, this time just last year we watched the no-doubt, best-player-in-the-world dominate Sawgrass — that was Jason Day. Golf is hard, maybe we should stop rushing these proclamations.

At nearly any other course, DJ and Rory might be your favorites. They likely will be at Erin Hills in one month. But this is Sawgrass — where the premium is on shotmaking, not bludgeoning the course with distance. It’s a test as mental as physical. Day overcame career struggles here to win by changing his approach tactically, leaving the driver in his bag often. Even with his dominance, I’m not sure I trust DJ to pull back the reigns enough to win here. I think both stay in the Top 15 to 20, but I’ll guess Rory has a better shot to contend here.

Brendan Porath: With the Tiger era over, we all too often have what is, to me, this rather tedious debate about which player is “best at his best.” Some argue for Jordan Spieth. Some for Jason Day. Others for Dustin Johnson. And many for Rory McIlroy, who has as many major championships as those three combined.

It’s an unanswerable question that takes up a lot of media air time. We’ll never a get a week where all the top players in the world are playing at their best. What is true, however, is that DJ has been the best player in the world — at his best, his close-to-best, his mediocre, his whatever — for almost a full year now. He became No. 1 in the world just this February, but no one has been doing it better on a weekly basis since his U.S. Open win last June. I expect him to be back again challenging for another win this week.

DJ came off that injury layoff from his Masters tumble down the stairs and immediately contended at the Wells Fargo last week. It was like nothing happened. Rory, meanwhile, got married, turned 28 years old, and signed a new equipment mega deal during his layoff since the Masters.

This is supposed to be a course where driving distance is mitigated — one of the few remaining on the PGA Tour and in professional golf. That’s a DJ and Rory strength but I’d still be surprised if both are not in the hunt on Sunday afternoon. Rory seems ready for another top 10 (which doesn’t necessarily mean he’s in contention), with DJ pushing for for his fourth win in five starts. It’s hard to pick anyone, even Rory, to finish ahead of DJ these days.

Photo by Warren Little/Getty Images

Rory is back, and now he’s got a bobblehead too.

Is The Players the "5th major?" Does that even mean anything? Do we care anymore about this?

Brendan: Ahhh, the annual discussion about a “fifth major.” I do not care about this. If you feel like it is -- fine. If you scoff at the notion — cool, whatever. The debate has seemed to quiet in recent years and the PGA Tour definitely doesn’t try to push that narrative, either overtly or behind-the-scenes.

It does not matter whether The Players Championship is a major or not even close. What it is is a completely unique event that occupies its own space in the game. No one skips this event. It draws the strongest field of the season and is on an instantly recognizable course made-for-TV and rowdy crowds. It doesn’t have to have the traditions or test of golf like the majors. It is a huge golf event and party floating in its own space, which is perfectly fine separate and apart from the traditional four majors. The Tour and those covering the game have seemed to embrace that.

Kyle: Yeah, that’s about where I’m at. I do, personally, enjoy the Players. It’s very much different from the week-in, week-out tour experience, it provides the best field in the sport, and it’s held on a one-of-a-kind track. On the heels of the reformatted Zurich Classic & Golfsixes last week in London, this is really the home of weird golf.

In general, we in golf spend waaaaaaaay too much time forcing the conversation about where things stand in history. You can’t classify everything with binary logic. Is it a fifth major? Does it matter? I don’t know, time will tell. The PGA still isn’t prestigious enough for some folks — and it’s gonna be played for the 98th time this year!

The Players is another point on the schedule to get super excited for some awesome golf. Just enjoy that for what it is. It’ll be much more enjoyable.

The island 17th hole is one of the most instantly recognizable holes in the world. It also gets a ton of hype. Are you a fan or jaded cynic?

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A diabolical Dye design, the island 17th will turn into one of the rowdiest scenes in golf come Sunday.

Kyle: If we’re gonna be super honest, 17’s not a hard hole -- the water and the optics provide more bark than bite. For a replacement-level college player, it’s a pretty stock gap wedge to a relatively large green. Swirling winds can be the lone defense, and even then, well — it’s a relatively short par-3. Tour stats reflect that.

That said! This is a 10/10 good hole for televised, tournament golf. It’s iconic, there’s a stadium-like feel to it for fans on the course, and the finishing stretch of 16-17-18 is classic Pete Dye and as good as any for drama in golf. Not every hole need be diabolical — it just needs ample risk/reward benefit. Trailing by a shot or two on Sunday and firing at that classic tucked front-right pin provides that. It’s cathartic.

Brendan: Along the same lines of the “fifth major” discussion, the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass is an annual tradition I’ve come to terms with. It’s a fine hole, a big party, and makes for a good broadcast, whatever your opinion is of its architectural merits. I used to pan the hype around it but maybe I’ve gone soft as I get older.

Who is your darkhorse pick to either win or contend (odds here)?

Brendan: The winners at this event since 2012 are really a who’s who from the top of the world rankings over the last five years. But it still carries a rep as an event with an extremely deep field that produces random winners. When it comes to gambling on golf, the value almost never lies with the top stars and favorites. I like Matt Fitzpatrick way down the board at 100/1 -- he’s played here only once, missing the cut, but he’s a super ball striker and tends to play well in tougher conditions. Patrick Cantlay at 80/1 is also a great sleeper pick.

Kyle: I’m gonna go with another young Englishman: How about Tommy Fleetwood at 80-1? The 26-year-old is having the best season of his career — 2nd in the European Tour’s Race To Dubai rankings. He’s already had success in big events in North America this year, a runner-up at the WGC-Mexico & a top-10 at Arnie’s event. He’s an elite ballstriker & hits greens by the boatload. If he’s able to make enough putts, he’ll be in the conversation this weekend.

Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

In the middle of a breakout season, Fleetwood leads the European Tour in GIR in 2017.

This is known as one of the harder events on the PGA Tour to handicap. What makes it so difficult and so unique?

Brendan: It’s Pete Dye golf with lots of trouble and a layout that doesn’t automatically reward the guys who can bomb it the farthest off the tee. Distance is still an advantage, as it is everywhere in the game in this era. But things can even out here and make it harder to predict. That can make for a fun tournament unless you end up with some titanic Sunday clash between, oh I dunno, Brian Stuard and Sean O’Hair.

Kyle: You’re totally right, but I think you can even take this a step further. Golf is hard, lots of guys can win on any given week, and this is the best field in golf. There’s not the dead-weight of The Masters, the amateurs of the US Open & Open Championship, and the club pros of the PGA. This is, top-to-bottom, guys that can truly win the event. That makes it harder to predict, especially combined with Dye’s tricked-up track.

Who's your winner this week and why?

Brendan: I am going with the third wheel in that marquee group of the first two days, passing on Dustin Johnson and Rory McIlroy to pick Justin Thomas as my winner. JT has cooled off a bit since he lit the world on fire in the first couple months of the season. But he has professed his love for this championship and has backed it up with results in his first two years at The Players, finishing inside the top 25 as a rookie and T3 last year. He’s also shown each year that he can put a “round of the day” type number up at Sawgrass -- that Saturday 65 in his 2015 debut rocketed him into contention for Sunday’s final round and was one of the major statements of his rookie season. He returns this year as a top 10 ranked player in the world, has all the game and distance off the tee to compete anywhere in the world, and playing a course he loves and has figured out early in his career. That’s my pick.

Kyle: I like the JT pick. Loving a course you’re playing can be half the battle. But I’ll go a little different route for a young guy and take, um, Jordan Spieth. Is it weird he still seems to sit a bit under the radar? I’ll admit, there’s no particular rhyme or reason on this one — Rahm, JT, even Sergio or DJ. But for whatever reason, this just feels right. A track like Sawgrass should fit Spieth’s game a touch. Don’t be shocked if he’s taking home the crystal on Sunday.