#Memory Lane Part 2

[twstjam]

Memory Lane Part 2: Faded Scars

Characters focused on: King of Beasts!Leona Kingscholar & GN!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: You're an innocent isekai victim... until you accidentally step on a cranky lion's tail.

Or: You wander into another world and meet reincarnations of cartoon villains (who were REAL and also your friends in a past life). Leona-centric chapter.

Masterlist

AO3 Link

The Queen of Hearts, the King of Beasts, the Sea Witch, the Tactician of the Sands, the Fairest Queen, the Ruler of the Underworld, and the Thorn Fairy.

Together, they're known as the Great Seven.

Or at least, that's what Ace had told you... right before him and Grim got collared for burning the Queen of Hearts's statue and you got arrested into having tea time with his boss.

Now, you're told that Riddle was the Queen of Hearts in a past life. According to him, her powers and memories had been passed down the previous rulers of the Queendom of Roses and that he was the current inheritor, thus making him the current ruler of the kingdom (queendom?).

Or at least, that's what you got from his long-winded spiel. He had explained it with a sort of manic, frantic look in his eyes that made you fear he might actually behead you after all, which then died down into a sort of defeated acceptance when you only nodded and smiled at his rambling. The disappointment on his face made that fresh feeling of unexplained belonging twist in your chest, but what in the world were you supposed to say to all that?

Oh that's so cool that you have the memories and powers of a controlling, temperamental tyrant! Based on how you're so uptight and everybody shivers at the sound of your name I'm sure it didn't affect you negatively in any way! Let's totally be friends like we used to be in a past life! Sure, why not! ?

That was another thing you can't quite wrap your head around. He knew you? In a past life? Or at least, the Queen of Hearts did? And you were some sort of "Beast Tamer" that was the only person that the Great Seven listened to?

Oh yeah, as it turns out, Riddle isn't the only one with the memories and powers of an evil fairytale villain. There are others like him, and apparently one of them was here at the Castle of Roses.

"This is a very puzzling situation," Riddle had sighed as you stuffed your face with more desserts in an effort to drown out how much of a stranger you suddenly felt in your own body. The queen sitting across from you had his brow tightly knitted in an intense expression, deep in thought. "I can sense that your essence is theirs, just like all the others, so you should be able to remember. For the past hundreds of years, we've never had a problem like this before. Everyone's always been able to access their past memories just fine..."

He had trailed off and you paused in the middle of taking a bite out of another cupcake (why are these desserts so good?!) at the sudden silence. His gaze was still really far away, as if he was watching an intense drama unfold instead of the untouched strawberry tart in front of him.

He blinks and suddenly he's back to fairytale earth. The crease in his brow disappears as he looks back up at you and you can practically see the light bulb go off above his head.

"Maybe... we can use something to jog your memory."

That's how you're here, standing in the sweet-smelling garden and face-to-face with another thing in this world that wants to kill you.

If you really were a "beast tamer" in a past life, you must've really sucked at it. Or maybe you just didn't inherit the beast-taming abilities like you didn't inherit the memories, which was just your luck.

You don't really believe anything that Riddle had said about you being some sort influential figure like the Seven (except for what he said about your past self having a knack for getting into danger, which you don't doubt a single bit) but right now, as you're staring down a cranky lion man, you really hope he was somewhat right.

"You've got some nerve stepping on my tail and just walking away," the man/lion/furry growls. His mussed dark hair falls over his eyes messily, but you're still able to spot a scar over his left eye. On top of his head are a pair of furry ears, stiffly folded back in irritation. When he talks, you catch a glimpse of inhuman canines in his mouth. "Ain't nothin' worse than bein' in the middle of a nap and havin' some jerk step on your tail."

"As we might have it, the inheritor of the King of Beasts is here at this very castle." you recall Riddle saying, followed by an irritated sigh. "Not that I have any idea where he is... he's always slacking off who-knows-where and has his retainers running around doing chores for him. We must find him. I'll have some of my card soldiers looking as well. He's hard to miss: he's a lion beastman with dark hair and a scar on his eye."

Ears, tail, a head of luscious dark locks, and a scar...

You hadn't put it together before, but in hindsight, you really should've been able to figure it out before you stepped on Scar from the Lion King 's tail. Not that it'd have increased your chances of survival.

"Sorry—! Um, your majesty...?" He was a king, right? But— Wait, Scar wasn't the king in the movie. That was literally the whole plot... you think. You can't really remember. Even if you did, that knowledge would only be useful if the fairytales you knew actually did align with the history of this world. Wait... the Lion King isn't a fairytale! …Or is it?

The lion man is still glaring at you. You pull your mind back into the moment and try to instead think of ways to not get eaten.

...Would it count as cannibalism? Agh, question for another time!

"I wouldn't know anything about having a tail but uh, I'm sure it's not fun to get it stepped on," you stammer with a forced polite smile that you hope looks apologetic, or at least pathetic enough that he'd consider you not worth snacking on. "I'm really, really sorry. I really didn't mean to disturb your nap! But it's actually good that you're awake. The queen's looking for you, soooo..."

"Hey." You flinch at his sharp tone and your back springs up straight. Your blood turns cold with fear as you feel him examine you closely before he speaks again, "Look at me when I'm talkin' to you."

You're not eager to get up-close and personal with his sharp-looking teeth, so you do the smart thing and look up.

His eyes are green (just like the cartoon lion) with slitted pupils, like a cat's. Having never seen such a thing on a human face before, you find yourself transfixed... and then blinded.

The lion man's eyes go wide before he blinks and they suddenly start glowing a bright yellow. You squint your eyes against the light but you don't look away.

The same thing had happened with Riddle earlier when you met him. You hadn't been looking as closely then as you were too busy trying to control your erratic heart rate, but it's hard to miss when someone's eyes change from grey to red.

Just like Riddle's did, the glow in the lion man's eyes fade as suddenly as they had appeared and you're looking at a pair of green eyes again. You think his pupils go round (just like a cat's do!) but you don't have time to be sure as you're suddenly being shoved under an arm and against a hard chest as the lion man throws his head back with a loud laugh.

"Of all the herbivores!" he exclaims boisterously, a stark contrast to his drowsy anger earlier. He practically squeezes the breath out of you and you wheeze weakly.

As you're suffocated to death, your life flashes before your eyes. You see green eyes, dark hair, a scar… Wait, this just happened, didn't it?

There's a lion in front of you. A massive, full-grown lion with a mane of dark hair and a conniving smirk. For whatever reason, you don't run, and that proves to be a mistake when the lion suddenly climbs into your lap and curls up on top of you even as you scream and shove at him. You feel his chest rumble with a laugh when you give up struggling and flop back defeatedly.

You blink and your vision focuses back on a man lion instead of an actual one. The one that was actually holding you down and under an arm instead of a massive furry body. There's a very obvious difference, but you swear the smirk on his face is the exact same, eyes, scar, canines and all.

"Finally decided to show your face, huh?" the lion man chides. You only keep staring at him. You can't move even though you want to. Like with Riddle, your body suddenly feels like it has a mind of its own and your actual mind is telling you things that don't make sense but feel like they should .

The silence between the two of you turn awkward when you continue to let yourself be dragged around like a limp doll. The lion man's expression shifts drastically from a friendly one to one of shock and you almost fall on your butt when he suddenly pushes you away.

"Ugh, I hate it when that happens…" he growls. He's turned away from you, but it's obvious from the sound of his voice that he isn't only exasperated but also embarrassed.

That makes two of you.

"I don't know what that was but I do know it was super weird," you say with a shrug. Lion Man whirls around to level you with another glare, but unlike earlier, you don't flinch. You know he's not going to pounce. Not actually.

"That never happened," he snarls. He steps into your space and you can feel his hostility, but all it does is make you defiant (You mourn the loss of your self-preservation instincts, but hey, at least you're not trembling like a newborn kitten). Lion Man points his index finger at your chest and you can feel his claw-like nails through your shirt. "We're not friends , alright? Just 'cause you used to be chummy with Scar, doesn't mean we're going to be all buddy-buddy, got it?"

He aggressively jabs your chest at each emphasis and you almost stumble off your feet. You mirror his glare and shove his hand away by the wrist.

"You don't have to get your fur all fluffed up," you scoff and a low growl rises in his throat, but you're not dissuaded. "It's not like I want to be pals with you either."

"Great," Lion Man huffs, turning away. "I'm in a bad mood on account of bein' woken up from my nap, so unless you feel like losing a tooth, scram."

You're just about to bite back your assent when a voice suddenly calls back from across the garden.

"Leonaaaa!"

Lion Man curses under his breath. You hear footsteps approach the two of you, and a scruffy-looking man (? He's so small and scrawny that he could be a boy for all you knew.) appears down the path. He has animal ears and a tail too, but his ears are bigger and fluffier and so is his tail.

If Lion Man is supposed to be Scar, then could this guy be a hyena?

"Leona! There you are!" he says with a wide, relieved grin. You'd assumed he was one of the card soldiers, but with a closer look, you realise he isn't at all dressed like one. "I knew I'd find you here."

"Ugh, and now I've got this guy on my tail..." Leona groans, turning his irritation onto the new stranger now. "What is it, Ruggie?"

"Riddle's lookin' for ya," the hyena boy—Ruggie—replies without missing a beat despite the deadly glare trained on him. "Says it's important inheritor business. He's even got the guards looking."

"Inheritor business, huh." Leona's ears rise at that and he glances at you over his shoulder. "Wonder what about."

"Beats me." Ruggie shrugs as he crosses his hands behind his head. "But you should probably go see him before he boils over."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it," Leona says gruffly as he stretches out his back and limbs. "I don't feel like gettin' collared today. I'll go see what he wants."

Before he leaves though, he turns to you, but instead of looking angry, he looks thoughtful this time. Riddle had had a similar expression earlier, where it seemed as if he was looking at something that wasn't actually there. Not in the present at least.

"I'm guessin' you're comin', huh," Leona sighs, sounding put-upon, and walks past Ruggie towards the end of the garden. He waves a dismissive hand in the air as he says, "Just remember what I said. I'm not waitin' up for you, and don't expect me to."

You roll your eyes at his back before walking after him with Ruggie tailing behind you (probably to make sure Leona actually makes it to Riddle). Leona is far ahead at this point so you could be wrong, but you think you catch the quietest little chuckle from him.

[cupidskissx]

Hello darling!! For the fic ask game, if you'd do me the honour of answering 4 and 16? (Is it cheating to ask for 5 as well because I know you've answered it already but I am DYING for more snippets lol)

Love you hope you have a wonderful day!! ❤️☺️

😍🥹 Oh my, of course my dear, anything for you! Always! 🌹 love you!

4. Tell me about one of your abandoned WIPs. Why did you abandon it?

I answered this one slightly differently a moment ago and reading it again you’ve just reminded me of my first ever Lestappen fic, pre-Monaco Malaise!

I had thousands of words traversing the 2019 season. From the Holy Temple of Lestappen that is Austria ‘19, to mentions of Silverstone, I got up to Germany. A group of driver’s go out drinking and headed back to Sebastian’s holiday home where Max and Charles ended up sharing a bed together. Classic one bed trope. The idea fizzled out, but here’s a snippet of drunk Charles oversharing:

Charles considered him for a moment, “I’ve had my share of sober flings, but gotta keep up appearances, you know.”

That comment niggled its way under Max’s skin, but the thought of having a heart to heart with Charles about his sexuality felt like crossing a line.

The silence extended a beat too long so Charles continued, “I don’t drink much, not since signing for Ferrari. Lowered inhibitions means taking risks. The risk of being seen, or taking the wrong guy home increase pretty quickly.”

5. Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter.

Sweetheart, I’d send you my whole draft if I felt it was ready, of course you can have another snippet ❤️

“I don’t want another drink.”

Max’s gaze lingers heavily on Charles as he takes a long, slow swig. Dutch courage and all that. The glass is half empty when he places it on the countertop.

“What do you want then?”

16. Do you stick to canon when you write characters and fics?

This is a big fat yes! I experienced a full blown moral dilemma when I had to change one fact for the purposes of continuing the plot for Monaco Malaise Part Two. I already have my disclaimer written that’s how seriously I take it 😂

Of course within reason we all have to deviate from truth and canon but I try my best to portray the most authentic retelling of events and representation of our boys! ❤️

Thank you for asking my love ❤️😍

Fic ask

[felixandresims]

KICHEN 2Point0 Part 2

The 43-piece second half of the KICHEN 2Point0 focuses on appliances and clutter for your kitchens.

Of course, it's also time for another trip down memory lane to revisit the original Kichen & how it links back to this current iteration. All the items apart from the wishboner chair have been completely new ideas and meshes, however we wanted to try and capture some of our favourite elements from the original and reimagine them in our current styles. Way back in 2019 Harrie wasn't experienced in making new meshes from scratch, so many of the clutter items were mesh edits of EA items. For our first few collaborations, we would actually explore all of the EA items that we felt would fit into our theme, but with the Kichen 2Point0, we made all of the clutter items from scratch. It was so important for us to include new essential clutter pieces in this set as even to this day, we will often gravitate towards those original clutter items when building & we still spot them in many of your builds, too!

We have tried to cover all the appliances you need to bring this kitchen to life. Of course, with new EA functional items being added with new pack releases, we were also long overdue for a small appliance refresh that we haven't had in any of our other set releases. Highlights include the functional kettle (requires For Rent EP) and the mixer (requires Home Chef Hustle SP), but of course, we have also included decorative versions for those of you who don't have those packs.

Most of the items are Base Game compatible, except for the Mixer & kettle, as mentioned above, and can be found by searching the B/B catalog using the keyword 2Point0. As the items are designed for both of our current sets, they will also appear when you search using the keywords KLEAN or SOHO.

We can't wait to see what you do with the new items and how you bring them all to life in your game. As always, we would love it if you tagged us in your builds on social media.

Set items include:

High Oven

Low Oven (2 counter height options)

Low Gas Stove (2 counter height options)

Low Induction Stove (2 counter height options)

Induction Hob

Gas Hob

Dishwasher (2 counter height options)

Fridge

Coffee Machine

Kettle (functional & decorative)

Food Mixer (functional & decorative)

Mixer Bowls

Toaster

Pot & Pans

Large Plates

Small Plates

Bowls

Cups

Glasses

Pantry (open)

Pantry (closed)

Double Pantry

Now on Patreon Early Access

This Set is on Early Access and will be available for everyone on the 7th of June.

[harrie-cc]

Kichen 2Point0 - Part 2

The 43 piece second half of the KICHEN 2Point0 focuses on appliances and clutter for your kitchens.

Of course its also time for another trip down memory lane, to revisit the original Kichen & how it links back to this current iteration. All the items apart from the Wishboner chair have been completely new ideas and meshes, however we wanted to try and capture some of our favourite elements from the original and reimagine them in our current styles. Way back in 2019 Harrie wasn't yet experienced in making new meshes from scratch (Fun fact: The dining table included in the original Kichen was her first ever from scratch mesh!), so a lot of the clutter items were mesh edits of EA items. For our first few collaborations we would actually explore all of the EA items that we felt would fit into our theme, but with the Kichen 2Point0 we made all of the clutter items from scratch. It was so important for us to include new essential clutter pieces in this set as even to this day we will often gravitate towards those original clutter items when building & we still spot them in many of your builds too! (edited)

We have tried to cover all of the appliances you would need to bring this kitchen to life. Of course with new EA functional items being added with new pack releases we were also long overdue a small appliance refresh that we haven't had in any of our other set releases. Highlights include the functional kettle (requires For Rent EP) & the mixer (requires Home Chef Hustle SP), but of course we have also included decorative versions for those of you that don't have those packs.

Majority of the items are Base Game compatible with the exception of the Mixer & kettle as mentioned above and can be found by searching the B/B catalogue using the keyword 2Point0. As the items are designed for both of our current sets they will also show up when you search using the keywords KLEAN or SOHO

We really can't wait to see what you do with the new items and how you bring them all to life in your game. As always we would love you to tag us in your builds on social media.

Set items include:

High Oven

Low Oven (2 counter height options)

Low Gas Stove (2 counter height options)

Low Induction Stove (2 counter height options)

Induction Hob

Gas Hob

Dishwasher (2 counter height options)

Fridge

Coffee Machine

Kettle (functional & decorative)

Food Mixer (functional & decorative)

Mixer Bowls

Toaster

Pot & Pans

Large Plates

Small Plates

Bowls

Cups

Glasses

Pantry (open)

Pantry (closed)

Double Pantry

Available Now on Patreon Early Access

Public Release: 7th July

[remxedmoon]

“shadowy figures appeared before you. apparitions, memories of what once was. reminders of who you’re fighting for. are they your true family, or merely wearing their visage?”

[twohats spoilers below the cut!]

DEATHCARDS!!! WOOO!! that leshy quote isn’t entirely set in stone yet, btw. i made these for a king boss fight i’m working on so realistically he’d be the one narrating? but eh. it’s fun to write in leshy’s voice. anyways, hopefully this won’t be too long?? i’ve got way less design notes this time around, but there’s also 6 cards here and i’m not very succinct. sorry in advance!!

siffrin

2 power - 2 health - 5 bones

loose tail - when a card bearing this sigil would be struck, a tail is created in its place and a card bearing this sigil moves to the right. a tail is defined as: 0 power, 2 health.

steel trap - when a card bearing this sigil perishes, the creature opposing it perishes as well. a pelt is created in your hand.

GOD it was hard to come up with sigils for this one. since these are boss exclusive cards, i had a pretty limited pool to work with… hopefully this is still fitting

loose tail is the closest i could get to a sigil that avoids death, since sigils like unkillable and many lives were off the table. plus, there’s kinda a connection with him not valuing his own life?? and sacrificing a part of himself? i think it works

steel trap!! this sigil is exclusive to the trapper boss fight! since summoned cards (like chimes and tails) inherit sigils, their tail card will also kill whatever’s in front of it when it’s destroyed! sort of a “taking you down with me” situation.

mirabelle

2 power - 5 health - 3 blood

swapper - after a card bearing this sigil is dealt damage, swap its power and health.

swapper!! this is an act 3 sigil exclusive to swapbot! ahhhhhhhh i had such a hard time trying to figure out another card design for her. i REALLY liked the bellist sigil for her and didn’t really have any other ideas. swapper felt like it fit with the change belief to me! and it also makes her a pretty terrifying card to go up against. since this is a boss card, that cost is basically entirely for show lol

ALT CARD ART!!! YIPEE!! literally all i did was flip her eyes to look angry lol. swapbot’s sprite changes when it swaps so i think hers would too!

isabeau

2 power - 4 health - 2 blood

dam builder - when a card bearing this sigil is played, a dam is created on each empty adjacent space. a dam is defined as: 0 power, 2 health.

fledgling - a card bearing this sigil will grow into a more powerful form after 1 turn on the board.

dam builder feels like a very defensive sigil to me, and it synergizes well with fledgling!! after a turn, isabeau will be doing 5 damage across 3 lanes! good god.

odile

1 power - 2 health - 2 blood

trifurcated strike - a card bearing this sigil will strike each opposing space to the left and right of the spaces across from it as well as the space in front of it.

sharp quills - once a card bearing this sigil is struck, the striker is then dealt a single damage point.

this was the HARDEST card to think up, and probably the weakest out of the bunch imo. i think i really nailed her regular card and i just. couldn’t come up with anything. agonies

i picked trifurcated strike as a reference to her being able to use all three craft types, and sharp quills… i think because of her aversion to touch? i think. it’s been a while since i made these aaaaa

bonnie

1 power - 1 health - 1 blood

waterborne - a card bearing this sigil submerges itself during its opponent's turn. while submerged, opposing creatures attack its owner directly.

leader - creatures adjacent to a card bearing this sigil gain 1 power.

if yall remember the notes on my kid card, this is based on the beta version of that card!! which means that for once i’m not putting bonnie through the torments. hooray!

waterborne is there because they always stay out of danger during battles! plus they’re from a coastal town so it fits on that front as well. i didn’t really think about the actual sigil names for cards this time around but hey! it’s a nice bonus!

the beta card had trinket bearer, but that’s a sigil that would only benefit the player in battle, so i swapped it out with leader! since they can’t be directly attacked, this basically makes them a permanent alpha on the king’s side of the field. also, leader, snack leader, it fits namewise as well!

loop

2 power - 1 health - 4 bones

haunter - when a creature bearing this sigil dies, it haunts the space it died in. creatures played in this space gain its old sigils.

bifurcated strike - A card bearing this sigil will strike each opposing space to the left and right of the space across from it.

“i’m normal about inscryption” i say as i give one of my cards a sigil that only appears in the completely missable rulebook of grimmora’s segment of the finale.

so. haunter! the aforementioned grimmora sigil! this appears on no cards ingame, but cmon. it fits. this sigil reminded me of how loop reacts when you guess that they’re a ghost! in battle, i imagine that siffrin will always get played right behind loop. because twohats

bifurcated strike was added here for the same reason it’s on their normal card! it feels like scissors craft!! i needed them to actually have A Sigil to transfer to siffrin and this felt the most fitting to me.

also, just like the normal cards, siffrin and loop are both the only ones to have a bone cost instead of blood cost! teehee :333

and i think that’s it! i’m not making inhabited versions of these cards because they aren’t meant to be accessible outside of the king fight! also! hi! i drafted this post and wrote siffrin’s segment: almost a month ago! oops!! i kept putting this off… at least it’s actually written out now lol. hope you guys enjoy!!!

[sleepystargaze]

Why You May Not Relate to Vi's Choices in Season 2

Vi is an adult who was parentified as a child, and her actions are largely influenced by the lasting psychological effects.

If you aren't familiar, parentification is when children become caregivers in their families and take on responsibilities that are inappropriate for their age. These responsibilities are often beyond their capacity, either because they lack the knowledge or the emotional maturity to perform these adult roles.

In Vi's case, she was largely left to care for the well-being of her siblings in the place of a consistent parental figure. And likely even before they lost their parents, Vi was left to care for Powder when her parents could not. The show literally starts with Powder in the care of Vi. Which can also explain why Vi was very deeply affected by the loss of their parents, while Powder was not, since Vi would likely have been her primary caretaker.

In adults, this generally can results in:

difficulty functioning independently

a greater risk of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse

difficulty setting boundaries: generally neglecting oneself to satisfy the needs of others

trouble relinquishing control

feeling a need to be a peacekeeper

tending to be a "fixer"

There are other things, but the ones above are the ones relevant to this discussion and they constitute a significant majority of the signs in adults. So, with this context in mind, let's take a trip down memory lane.

Inmate 516

Humans don't exist in a vacuum, but Vi lived in the closest mental equivalent of it with her time in Stillwater. I don't think it's a stretch to assume the Vi that Caitlyn meets is much more emotionally grown than the young teenager who was dragged off by Marcus.

The one thing I've gleaned from the show about Vi's time here is that she has this Schrodinger's Powder thing going. She tells conflicting stories to Caitlyn and Jinx, but neither seem like a lie. She believed, or "knew", her sister was dead but persisted with the thought that she'll get out and return to Powder some day.

So, to survive her years at Stillwater, the only thing keeping her going is this idea. Her own self-preservation is reliant on this feeling that she could return to not only Powder, but also the way things were. She still wants to take care of her sister. And honestly, it's only further reinforced by Vander's last words, "Take care of Powder."

Enter Caitlyn from stage right, detective extraordinaire, bearing the sole evidence that Powder is, in fact, alive. Vi's daydream becomes a reality and she wastes no time shooting any shot she can to get out of Stillwater.

A Little Walkabout with a Piltie: Part 1

Gather round ladies and gentleman, here we have our top hits under the "trouble relinquishing control" category, featuring:

"Too risky": a tale of avoiding bathyspheres.

"Don't you wanna blend in?": There are easier ways to get people out of their clothes, but I guess forcefully throwing clothes you just stole off a stranger 5 minutes ago works, too.

"We're here because I'm hungry.": Not the best first date, but at least the food was good.

And a fan favorite, "You're hot, Cupcake."

Jokes aside, all of these actions are meant to maintain control over Caitlyn. This is Caitlyn's investigation, Caitlyn released her, and Caitlyn is an enforcer. All things that should give her control, but Vi is not having any of that knowing Powder is out there. Thing is, though, the result would likely be the same if she did let Caitlyn have more agency. Afterall, they are looking for the same person. The only thing she is gaining by doing these things is the control itself.

A Little Walkabout with a Piltie: Part 2

Well, our favorite redhead runs off to get stabbed and has to be nursed back to health by Caitlyn. Here, we have a significant dynamic shift. Caitlyn tells Vi she has a "good heart." Right before Vi passes out, she hears Vander telling her the same echoing in her head. When she wakes she sees:

Vander and her mom, Felicia, were Vi's major caretakers growing up. When Vi becomes conscious to her surroundings, she's met with Caitlyn caressing her face. Suddenly, Vi is associating these people's care for her with Caitlyn. It is exactly at this time that Vi begins opening up and allows Caitlyn to act as a caretaker.

Flash Forward to Tragedy

Well, we all know what happens, but the major takeaways here are Caitlyn has suddenly lost a parent and Vi has realized she can no longer help Jinx, she cannot "fix" her.

Caitlyn is no longer in a position to care for Vi in the way Vi needs, and Vi needs someone to care for. The roles in their relationship have suddenly been reversed. When Caitlyn opens up about the void her mother left, she says, "It's all coming apart."

Vi tells her "We won't let it."

If Caitlyn needs to keep things together and needs to feel control in her life again, then that is now also what Vi needs.

The Grim Truth of the Matter

Honestly, the most harmful thing for people who were parentified as a child is the fact that it becomes extremely difficult for the person to prioritize themselves over others, especially the ones they love regardless of if those loved ones treat the parentified adult fairly or not. You would be amazed the degree to which a parentified individual will let themselves turn a blind eye and forgive and sacrifice themselves.

I think a lot of people found Vi's story arc dissatisfying in season 2, because a lot of it relied on other people and her making seemingly uncharacteristic choices. Like her purpose in the show was solely to help other storylines. The sad truth is, parentification creates a severe lack of sense of self, and I think this is the biggest hidden battle for Vi throughout season 2. Who is she when she isn't acting in the interest of others? What needs to happen for her to let all of that go? How do you show that?

It doesn't feel great, because at the end she's only at the beginning of her healing journey. And if you have trouble relating to her struggles, you probably can't relate to the struggles of parentification, yourself. It's hard to understand the effort required to let go, and by the end, Vi has. I think my favorite representation of this change is how she has less bindings as the story progresses until, by the end, she has none. She has finally unburdened herself and is learning to prioritize her own needs, and now she can finally begin to properly heal.

No, it's not the most satisfying ending for a character arc, but not all major wins end in thunderous applause and fanfare.

[shake-your-money-maker]

The Quotes of Steven Wright:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

Credit to respective owner

[fr0stf4ll]

A court of Shadows and Moonlight - Part 2

paring; Azriel x reader

summary; In the wake of looming war and changing traditions, a gifted healer returns to the Night Court after centuries of wandering the continents. Tasked with stepping into Madja’s legendary role, she must guide reluctant healers, soothe wounded warriors, and face the entrenched prejudice of Illyrian leaders. But as she mends torn wings and broken spirits, an unexpected bond awakens between her and the Night Court’s enigmatic Spymaster. With rivalries simmering and a dangerous threat looming on the horizon, she must reconcile duty and desire, learning that true healing can extend beyond flesh and bone—if she dares to embrace the light hidden among the shadows.

word count ; 4k

notes; hello hello, thank you so much for all of your comments on the last part. I'm so happy that you guys want to read more of the new fan fiction. Here is the part 2, please don't hesitate to comment or to ask to be on the tag list. Bisous bisous

previous ✧ next

Early morning light painted Velaris in gentle pastels, the snowy streets glowing beneath a sky that hinted at a clear day ahead. The hostel’s front step creaked softly as you left, having already arranged to keep your horse and belongings there for a few more nights. With your cloak drawn tight against the crisp winter air, you stepped onto the cobblestone path, the familiar scent of the Sidra mingling with the freshness of newly fallen snow.

You knew the way well enough, even after centuries away: to reach Madja’s quarters, you had to skirt the edge of a quiet residential district, pass through a small courtyard where a fountain tinkled with ice-rimmed water, and turn down a short lane lined with lanterns and blossoming plants enchanted to survive the cold. Before heading straight there, though, you caught a whiff of something enticing—fresh pastries, warm bread, the sugary hint of glazed treats.

Following your nose, you discovered a small bakery tucked between a tailor’s shop and a candle-maker’s stall. Its sign hung overhead, carved wood depicting a loaf of bread and a swirl of steam. The door, painted a soft teal, stood slightly ajar, letting out the heavenly aroma. Inside, rows of sweet rolls, tarts, and delicate pastries awaited. You remembered how Madja always had a fondness for morning pastries—she used to claim that a little sweetness helped start the day on a kinder note.

Stepping inside, you selected a variety of treats: sugar-dusted pastries, flaky croissants, and small fruit-filled buns that gleamed with syrup. Alongside them, you chose a crusty loaf and a few savory rolls for balance. Wrapping them carefully in parchment, the bakery’s clerk smiled warmly, admiring your thoughtfulness. You paid without hesitation, a slight grin touching your lips at the idea of surprising Madja with these morsels of delight.

With your package of pastries cradled in one arm, you pushed open the door and stepped back onto the street. Distracted by the lingering taste of sweetness in the air and the memory of Madja’s grateful smile, you didn’t notice the tall figure coming around the corner until it was too late.

Your shoulder collided with something solid—very solid—and you stumbled a step, clutching the pastries protectively to keep them from spilling. Looking up, you saw a broad chest encased in fighting leathers and, as your gaze traveled upward, a pair of strong, dark wings folded neatly behind his back. His face was turned toward you now, brows lifted in mild surprise. He was tall, toweringly so, with an air of alert strength that suggested he rarely found himself caught off-guard.

“Pardon me,” you said quickly, voice low and genuinely apologetic. You stepped aside, adjusting your hold on the parchment bundle. The last thing you wanted was to cause a scene or lose these treasured pastries to the snowy ground.

For a heartbeat, you noted the faint surprise in his eyes—he’d expected perhaps a greeting or a challenge—but you had no time for curiosities now. You had a meeting to attend and pastries to deliver. Without waiting for his reply, you nodded, a brief dip of the head, and continued on your way.

The sounds of the city moved around you: distant laughter, the whisper of wings overhead, and the muffled crunch of your boots in the snow. You cast one last curious glance over your shoulder, the winged male already merging into the morning bustle of Velaris. Then you pressed forward, heart light with anticipation. Soon, you would be face-to-face with Madja again, and this time, you came bearing both sweets and your renewed commitment to the healing art she had first taught you.

You had barely raised your knuckles to knock on the old wooden door of Madja’s office when it swung open with a gentle creak. Standing just inside was your old mentor, her silvered hair braided neatly, the familiar warmth in her eyes gleaming even brighter than you remembered. Before you could utter a word, she stepped forward and wrapped you in a gentle, enveloping hug.

The scent of herbal poultices and clean linens—scents forever associated with her—filled your senses as you leaned into the embrace. For a moment, all the centuries and miles you’d traveled fell away, leaving only the memory of countless afternoons spent under her watchful guidance, the hush of the healing rooms, and the soft murmur of her patient instructions.

“My dear child,” Madja said, her voice trembling slightly with joy, “it feels like a lifetime since I last saw you.” She held you at arm’s length, scanning you from head to toe. “Look at you, so grown, so poised. It’s hard to believe you were once that quiet apprentice peeking around doorways, curious about every tincture and suture.”

You smiled, a surge of tenderness filling your chest. “It’s been too long, Madja. I’ve been… everywhere, I think.” You lifted the carefully bundled pastries and bread you’d carried all this way. “I know how fond you are of sweet treats in the morning, so I made a stop on my way here.”

Madja’s eyes lit up at the mention of food, the lines at their corners deepening with delight. “You remembered my weakness!” she teased, ushering you inside and closing the door with a gentle push. Her office had changed little: jars and vials lined shelves, each meticulously labeled; scrolls of medical diagrams were rolled and tied with ribbons; a comfortable armchair waited near a small, round table. A thickly woven rug covered the floor, and a window let in gentle winter daylight, illuminating dust motes that drifted lazily through the air.

As you set the pastries on the table, Madja peered at them with undisguised pleasure. “Oh, look at these,” she breathed, selecting a delicate fruit-filled bun to inspect before taking a small bite. The way her face brightened was like sunshine on fresh snow—pure and sincere. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed this. Not just the pastries,” she added quickly, laughing, “but you, my dear. Knowing you would return gave me such comfort these last months as I considered my retirement.”

Her words stirred something soft inside you, a gentle ache of gratitude and affection. “You knew I’d come back,” you said quietly, resting your hand on her arm. “I never forgot your lessons. Everywhere I went—Summer Court, Dawn Court, even across the sea—I carried your voice in my memory. It guided my hands, reminded me of compassion and patience in the face of suffering.”

Madja smiled, the emotion shining in her gaze. “Oh, child. That means more to me than all these treats combined. And trust me,” she said, biting into a sugar-dusted pastry, “that’s saying something.”

You both laughed softly, the sound rising and falling in the small, familiar space. Outside, the city hummed with life, and the snow continued to lend a quiet hush to the streets. But here, in this moment, you and Madja were safe in the past made present—teacher and student reunited, ready to pass the torch and write the next chapter of healing in the Night Court.

“Come,” Madja said, beckoning you to sit. “Eat with me, and tell me of your travels. Then we’ll speak of what must be done next. We have so much to catch up on, my dear. So very much.”

Time slipped by like melting snow beneath a warming sun. One conversation bled into another, memories overlapping with new tales as you and Madja shared a quiet feast of words and understanding. Seated by her small, round table, you sampled the pastries you’d brought and she sipped a mild herbal tea, letting it cool on her tongue as she listened with rapt attention.

You spoke of the Summer Court’s lush jungles and how their healers used exotic flowers to treat fevers. You described the Dawn Court’s libraries, where you learned surgical techniques from scrolls older than the High Lords themselves. You detailed the human realms and distant continents, where you discovered remedies made from plants that grew only under strange red suns. And, with a hint of satisfaction, you recounted the new healing methods you developed—mixing herbs in precise measures, using controlled spells to mend bone and flesh faster, more cleanly than ever before. Every word you offered up was met with pride in Madja’s eyes, as if the knowledge you’d gathered were the rarest jewels.

She questioned you about your power, the subtle magic that allowed you to sense illness and pain with startling accuracy. You admitted it had grown stronger with practice: now you could slow a hemorrhage with a whisper or soothe a maddened mind with careful, empathic focus. Through it all, Madja smiled quietly, nodding now and then, her delight and approval like gentle applause in the hush of her office.

Eventually, though, the mood shifted, and the laughter died down into a more somber tone. With a careful breath, you ventured into more painful territory. “I heard about the last war with Hybern,” you said softly, your gaze drifting to the distant window where a smudge of pale sky marked the passing of morning into afternoon. “I should have come back sooner, but I was too far—lost in the deep continent. By the time I got the news, it was already over. I… I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help.”

Madja’s expression grew gentle, understanding etched into every line. “It was a hard time for all of us, child. Many who lived through it bear scars not only of the flesh, but of the heart and soul. The war was brutal, and there were moments when all seemed lost. But we survived—at great cost, yes, but survived nonetheless.” She reached over, placing her hand over yours. “You cannot blame yourself. The world is vast, and news travels slowly. You followed your path and gained what we now need.”

You met her eyes, searching them for certainty. “And now you say… a greater danger looms?”

Her shoulders rose in a slight shrug, but her eyes hardened with quiet resolve. “Yes. Rumors stir—more than rumors, in fact. Whispers of powerful forces converging, alliances hidden in shadow. The next conflict may surpass anything we have ever witnessed. The time will come when Prythian, and perhaps the world, will need every skilled hand, every healer who can do more than close wounds. They will need a leader who can guide healers and armies alike, someone who understands not just medicine, but people. Someone who’s traveled far and wide, who knows how to adapt and improvise.”

Your heart squeezed gently in your chest, understanding dawning like the slow rising of a sun behind storm clouds. “That’s why you’re retiring,” you said, voice hushed. “Because you can’t help as you wish anymore, and you believe I can.”

Madja nodded, eyes shining with conviction. “I’ve given my centuries to this court, to its people. But my hands grow stiff, and my eyesight dims. I know my limits, my dear. And I know your capabilities—greater, more flexible, better suited for what is coming. I trust you to take up my mantle and lead in ways I no longer can.”

A hush settled between you, broken only by the distant murmurs of Velaris and the faint crackle of a log shifting in the hearth. You saw in Madja’s face not only the mentor who guided your shaky first steps, but a visionary who understood when to pass on her legacy.

You bowed your head, acknowledging the weight of this new responsibility. “I will do my best,” you said softly, resolve steadied by her faith.

Madja’s smile returned, quieter but no less sincere. “I know you will, my child. It’s time for the student to stand at the helm. And this city, this court, will need you more than ever before.”

Azriel’s POV

“It’s really happening,” Cassian said, disbelief coloring his tone. “Madja’s actually retiring.”

Azriel stood near the window, wings folded neatly behind him, his dark gaze drifting between the three others in the room: Rhysand, Feyre, and Cassian. They had gathered in a private meeting chamber with a broad table at its center. Beyond the glass, Velaris shimmered under the soft winter light, a gentle hush settling over the streets below.

Feyre leaned against a chair, her voice quiet and steady. “We knew this day would come. She’s served this court for centuries—long before any of us held these positions.” There was a reverence in her tone, as if recognizing that an era was ending.

Rhysand, standing beside her, tapped a folded piece of parchment against his palm. “Madja sent a message this morning,” he said, his voice level. “She wanted us to know that her replacement has arrived in Velaris.”

Cassian crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Already here?” he repeated, frowning slightly. He didn’t sound angry, just unsettled by the rapidity of this change. It wasn’t that any of them doubted Madja’s judgment; rather, it was strange to think of someone else stepping into her role so swiftly.

Feyre shifted her weight, curiosity and concern mingling in her eyes. “Do we have a name? Any details?” She glanced first at Rhysand, then at Azriel, as if seeking confirmation that all would be well.

Rhysand’s violet gaze dipped to the parchment. He unfolded it and scanned the lines. “Her name is Y/N,” he said. “She left centuries ago to travel the courts and even beyond Prythian’s borders, expanding her healing knowledge. Madja describes her as someone she raised after the first war with Hybern—an orphan of that conflict. She took the girl under her wing, trained her, and now says she’s more skilled than ever.”

Azriel remained silent, his shadows stirring subtly at his shoulders. If Madja trusted this Y/N to succeed her, to guide the healers of the Night Court, then that spoke volumes. He could sense the unease mingled with acceptance in the room. Changes like this did not come often, but when they did, they tended to carry immense significance.

Cassian exhaled, one hand lifting to rub at his neck. “If Madja believes in her, we should give her a chance. Still, it’s hard to imagine anyone filling Madja’s shoes.”

Azriel caught Rhysand’s faint smile, a subtle tilt of the High Lord’s lips. “We’ll arrange a meeting today,” Rhysand said, setting the note aside. “We need her expertise, especially if the rumors we’ve been hearing prove true. If a greater conflict is brewing, we’ll require a healer who can lead effectively and adapt quickly. Madja wouldn’t hand us just anyone.”

Feyre nodded, the tension in her posture easing slightly. “Then we should welcome her properly,” she said softly. Azriel noted the determination in her eyes—Feyre had always been good at making newcomers feel at ease.

Cassian grunted in agreement, leaning back as if resigned. “Fine. Let’s meet her.” He didn’t sound hostile, simply accepting that times were changing again, as they so often did.

Azriel finally moved from his spot near the window, stepping closer to the table. Outside, the snow-dusted city remained unaware of their deliberations. This Y/N must be formidable, if Madja thought her worthy of such a mantle. He exchanged a glance with Rhysand, who gave a faint nod, understanding passing silently between them.

They would meet her soon, and then they would know if Madja’s faith was well-placed. Azriel let the thought settle in his mind like a quiet promise: a new ally, a new guardian of life and health amidst all the uncertainties of a changing world.

Later that afternoon, standing in one of the House of Wind’s halls, Azriel and the others awaited the arrival of Madja and her chosen successor. The space was quiet, warmed by braziers that chased away the winter chill lingering outside. Feyre stood to Rhysand’s right, her posture poised and welcoming. Cassian hovered nearby, arms crossed but relaxed, appearing more curious than wary now. Azriel took his place slightly behind Rhysand, shadows flickering softly around his shoulders, keen eyes focused on the grand doors.

He heard them before he saw them—the soft padding of footsteps, the gentle murmur of Madja’s voice as she guided her protégé. Azriel noted a subtle change in his companions: Rhysand and Feyre straightened a fraction, their gazes sharpening, while Cassian let out a quiet breath. The old healer’s arrival was expected, but who accompanied her was still an unknown that drew all their attention.

The door opened smoothly, revealing Madja first. She moved at a calm pace, the lines of age and wisdom etched into her face. At her side was a taller figure Azriel instantly recognized. He stiffened, remembering the morning’s brief collision. He’d caught only a glimpse of her then—enough to register her beauty, but not the details. Now, with the bright lamplight and open space, he could take in every nuance.

Y/N was indeed a High Fae, Azriel guessed, based on the gentle taper of her ears and the timeless look in her eyes. She stood tall, her posture neither arrogant nor meek, just quietly assured. Long hair, light brown and lustrous, fell behind her back, with small curls at the ends that softened the lines of her figure. She’d tucked the strands behind her ears, revealing a face that mixed elegance with warmth. Her eyes were a deep, rich blue—Azriel thought of midnight skies reflected on calm waters—steady and clear as she surveyed the room.

A soft smile curved her lips, genuine rather than practiced. He recalled how quickly she’d left him this morning, offering only a brief apology. Now, seeing her fully, he understood why his memory had clung to that brief encounter. Hers was a beauty that felt natural, not forced—grace in the set of her shoulders, kindness in the soft curve of her mouth.

Madja stepped forward, inclining her head to Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, and Azriel. Her companion followed, a respectful dip of her chin acknowledging their status. Azriel watched as Y/N’s gaze flicked over each of them—first Rhys and Feyre, her eyes brightening with recognition of their roles, then Cassian, and finally coming to rest on him. For a heartbeat, their eyes met, and he could have sworn he saw a hint of amusement there, as if she, too, recalled that small mishap by the bakery.

He did not look away. He simply acknowledged her presence with a subtle nod, shadows stilling around him, curious and contemplative.

Madja offered a small smile of encouragement to Y/N as Rhysand and Feyre stepped forward. The High Lord’s posture was relaxed yet attentive, violet eyes reflecting quiet curiosity, while Feyre’s calm warmth radiated outward, creating a welcoming atmosphere. Cassian, still a step behind, nodded in greeting, arms loosely at his sides now. Azriel watched it all unfold, shadows settling into a content hush around him.

Rhysand’s voice was smooth and cordial as he broke the silence. “Madja, thank you for coming. We received your message,” he said, inclining his head to the old healer. “And this must be Y/N, your chosen successor?”

Madja nodded, gently touching Y/N’s elbow in a familiar, reassuring gesture. “Indeed. As I explained, Y/N has returned from her travels—more skilled and knowledgeable than ever. I believe she will serve the Night Court well, especially with what may lie ahead.”

Feyre’s gaze shifted to Y/N, her expression warm. “Welcome home,” she offered simply, the sincerity in her tone unmistakable. “We’ve heard much about you—and I’m sure we’ll have plenty of questions.”

Y/N’s smile deepened, the tension of meeting these influential figures easing a fraction. “It’s an honor to be here,” she replied, voice carrying a steady calm. “I’m grateful Madja trusted me enough to call me back. I hope to prove worthy of that trust.”

Cassian snorted lightly, not unkindly. “If Madja trusts you, that’s already a high recommendation. The rest, I think, will fall into place soon enough.”

Madja tilted her head in gentle agreement. “We will not rush this transition,” the older healer said, her tone practical and kind. “I’m not disappearing tomorrow. For the coming weeks—perhaps months—Y/N and I will work side by side. She will get to know our healers, understand their rhythms, and learn the intricacies of how our wards are organized. By the time I step back fully, she will have found her footing and earned the confidence of every healer under this roof.”

Azriel quietly observed Y/N’s reaction to these words. There was no flash of panic, no tension coiling in her shoulders. Instead, just a measured acceptance, as though she’d been preparing for this for a long time.

Y/N nodded, turning her gaze to Madja briefly, then to Rhysand and Feyre. “I appreciate this gradual approach. It will give me a chance to reacquaint myself with the Night Court’s traditions. I’ve learned much elsewhere, but integrating it here—especially if a war is on the horizon—requires care.”

Her mention of looming conflict stirred something in the air. Azriel noticed how Rhysand’s jaw tightened just so. Feyre’s eyes flickered with a hint of steel beneath their kindness. Cassian’s grin faded slightly, replaced by a sober light in his hazel eyes.

Rhysand offered Y/N a small, approving nod. “Caution is wise. We will likely rely on your skills, your counsel, and your ability to coordinate healers in the field if trouble does come knocking.”

Feyre chimed in softly, “We’ve seen how vital good healers are, not only for soldiers but for civilians, for stabilizing morale. Your presence isn’t just medical; it’s strategic.”

Y/N’s lashes lowered briefly, acknowledging the weight of these words. “I understand,” she said, a calmness threading through her voice. “Healing is more than closing wounds—it’s about maintaining hope, ensuring that fear doesn’t consume everyone. I’ll do my best to uphold that.”

Madja’s smile warmed the room. “You see why I chose her,” she said quietly, pride evident in every syllable.

Azriel inclined his head at Y/N, a quiet gesture of respect. She seemed to notice, meeting his gaze for a fraction before turning back to Rhysand and Feyre. He thought back to their brief encounter that morning—the quick collision, the apology, her hasty departure. Already that memory seemed distant, replaced by the impression of a calm, capable presence who might very well become an anchor in the uncertain times ahead.

“Well,” Rhysand said, after a moment, “I suppose all that remains is to officially welcome you into this role. Y/N, you have our full support. In the coming days, we can introduce you to the healers, and you can start making your own assessments.” He paused, a faint tilt to his smile. “And, of course, do not hesitate to call on any of us if you need assistance.”

Cassian smirked softly. “Just don’t ask me to bandage anyone’s wounds—I’m all thumbs with that,” he teased, the tension in the room easing into something lighter.

Feyre rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. “Ignore him. He’s quite good at following orders when it counts.”

Y/N let out a gentle laugh, and even Azriel’s lips curved slightly, the corners of his mouth barely lifting but enough to notice. The wind seemed to ease outside the windows, the hush of snow falling quietly on Velaris’s spires. Within the House of Wind’s halls, the new healer had been welcomed, the path of her mentorship and eventual succession laid out clearly.

Madja’s eyes shone with satisfaction. “Then it’s settled. We’ll begin tomorrow morning. Y/N, I’ll show you around the wards, let you meet a few of the lead healers.” She glanced at Rhysand and Feyre, and then at Cassian and Azriel. “The rest will follow naturally.”

Azriel considered the moment: transitions were often fraught with uncertainty, but here, in the presence of trust and openness, they felt manageable. He said nothing more, content to stand by and watch as a new cornerstone of the Night Court’s strength stepped quietly into place.

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[amialunatic]

Just trust me baby..

divider credits to @anitalenia

Based on anon request: would you be willing to write a sam fic about his first time between him and reader where she has scars from her time with a vamp nest (say she was taken a while back and that’s how she got into hunting) and she’s insecure and a little anxious with having his mouth on her body because of the way she was once treated but sam is very patient and understanding. basically just really sweet and sam is catering and talks her through it :,)

Warning: Light smut, Fingering, Sam Winchester/ Hunter!Reader, Fem!Reader, brief mention of readers time in vampire nest. 

A/N: Omg my first actual fic. I'm quite stoked to be putting it out. Nervous too. I hope you all like it. I'm starting simple and soft core ig.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.

“Hey, you awake?” Dean called from the driver’s seat. That jolted you from down the memory lane. They were returning from the hunt. It was rough. At least 10 vampires. 3 newly turned, innocent, and pain-stricken but unable to control themselves. You guys had to kill them all. Everyone sustained injuries. That was natural. You getting bitten was not. You tried your best to not get bitten as it brought back nightmares that lasted quite a while than you cared to admit.

Sharp teeth piercing you had been a routine for weeks. Until you were rescued by Bobby and the boys. They found you on the brink of death. Several weeks of hospitalization later, you were fit to hunt. You hunted alone, focused mostly on vampires. And sometimes with the boys if the targets were nests. Helping those trapped there brought you catharsis. You wanted to be the hunter you needed all those weeks. And you strived your best to be that.

As you got out of Impala to the motel you were staying, you realized how tired you were. Slumped shoulders and bitten forearms, you moved slowly to your room. In the background, you hear Dean invite Sam for a drink and he refuses. As soon as you enter the room, you get into the shower. Maybe warm water can block out the sensations, the fangs that haunt your mind when you close your eyes. It never has, but you always hope it does this time. As you get out, red from the shower, you hear a knock. Sam’s voice calls out “Hey, it’s me.”

You open the door to see him standing at the door frame all fidgety. “I didn’t think you’d be showering.” he looked unsure almost second guessing his decision.

“I was done.” You moved back as he let himself in. Awkwardly standing with his arms on the chair, brows furrowed he asks “You okay?”. “As ok as you’d be after ganking a bunch of vampires I guess” you tried to lighten the situation. But Sam was having none of that “ You got bitten”. “Yes Sam, vampires bite. That’s like their whole MO.” you poured sarcasm to derail the conversation. This enraged Sam. “Don’t downplay this” his voice raises.

Reaching your breaking point and seeing that Sam wouldn’t leave you without a confrontation, you spit out the truth “You wanna know? OK. I’m fucking tired and I’ll probably have nightmares for days." Your outburst continued as you paced the room in a dressing gown. "You wanna know how weak I am, how the thing that happened to me years ago still brings me to my knees? There you go”. These moments were always followed by tears for you. But he didn't have to know that. You move across to the window facing the half-empty parking lot and turn away, not wishing to humiliate yourself further.

You hear the shuffling of feet as you feel two large hands wrap around me. “Y/N..” his voice laced with sympathy and concern. You lean into his familiar hug, your back nestled against his chest, his warmth enveloping your core. “Sam. I..I don’t want you..guys to see me weak. I am not weak.” you sigh. Sam chuckles “Now that’s the dean-est sentiment I’ve heard you express.” you appreciated his efforts to cheer you up.

“Hey it’s not like you too to sit around and express your feelings” you counter.

He sighs “I know. Me and Dean. Not the greatest examples of sharing feelings. But..you can tell stuff to me. You know that right?” He continues. “Also I don’t think you’re weak at all. Infact you’re one of the most badass hunters for recovering and facing your fears.”

You look down with a grateful smile “Thanks Sam.” As you turn around to face him, you take in his face. His eyes look desperate. Like he is trying to convince you that he can be your safe place. That you needn’t be scared of being vulnerable. And you can’t help but place a kiss between his furrowing eyebrows. Those lines that form when he is worried. You wanted to stop those and let him convince you. To forget the pain and nightmares even for a moment.

“Kiss me”

He looked at you, slightly surprised. “Now? You sure?”.

They had made out before. But this felt different. Somehow more intense, somehow more desperate.

“Yeah Sam, kiss me. Now.”

He didn’t need more encouragement. He bend down, caught your face with his hands as he pressed his lips on to yours. Restrained strength flowed through his hands that he tried to keep in check while pure gentleness caressed your lips. He lifted you effortlessly so your faces were leveled as he continued kissing you, gently tugging your lower lip with his teeth drawing out sighs. You mindlessly tugged his flannel, wishing it’d disappear.

“Patience” He chuckles as placing you on the desk, your back against the wall. You hastily removed the buttons one by one while he untied the knot of your dressing gown in a nanosecond. Your freshly showered skin glistening with water drops stops him in his tracks. As he stares at your underwear-clad body mesmerized, he stops to notice the bite on your forearm, still fiery red, even with the ointment around it. Around your shoulder and neck were faint scars. He caresses the skin around the bite, careful not to cause you any pain. After gently running his fingers along the scars when he looks back to your eyes he only notices your fierce stare, bestowed on his eyes, his swollen lips, and his now visible body, muscular and oh so strong. How you wanted him to take you then and there.

Not wishing to drag it any longer, he starts kissing you again as you gently run your hands through the battle scarred abdomen of his. Moving down to trace a drop of water from your jaw to your neck, he presses gentle kisses coaxing you to lean back your head opening up your neck and chest in the process. He practically groans as he gently nibble across you neck connecting to your shoulder.

In a flash, you freeze and push him away. All of it happened so sudden, Sam stared at you one feet away, confused. In a moment of clarity, it dawned on him. He gently came close to you and tentatively caressed your sides. Your apologetic eyes said everything it needed to. He lifted your chin up to him.

“hey hey..baby. , it’s ok. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He looked at you concern etched in his forehead. When you remained silent he coaxed you “Baby, talk to me.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just..I..was bitten..mouths on my body.” you shudder, visions running through the back of your eyes

“ Does it bring back memories?” He gently asks

“Sometimes, I just can’t block it. I want to Sam, believe me. I want this. I want you..so bad.” I look at him desperate.

“I know. But you know I won’t do anything that you’re uncomfortable with right? We don’t have to do this at all”

“I want to. Sam. I need you.” you lock eyes with him, forehead burrowing

His eyes searched mine for any trace of hesitation. Seeing none, he reaffirms gently “Do you trust me, baby?” “I do” I whisper as I breath out.

“You can stop me whenever you need to.”

A corner of his lips curled revealing the deep dimple. “So no biting I guess?”

“Yeah, no biting.” You bit your lips slyly. “ Well not you anyway”

“I look forward to it, sweetheart” He nudge your lips again easing them apart. As the same time, his hands part your thighs as he stepped impossible close.

You feel his hands slipping the robe off you. Before long, his long fingers were moving closer to your core. His fingers slipped in to your panties and finding the wetness pooling, he groans. I met his gaze, my eyes a blend of desperation and embarrassment at being so affected by him. “Sam..”.

“I know baby” He looks at you for permission before plunging his finger in the wetness. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, your fingers never managed to reach that deep. He ease it out. And again and again until you were a slobbering mess. To add to the torturous pleasure he lifts his palm so each thrust is paired with your clit being rubbed enough to cause friction but not enough to tip over. This was agony but delicious agony.

Sam looks into your convulsing face, his features radiating nothing but the desire to please you. To make you forget, to have a moment of pleasure, away from the darkness that consumes both of you. As you almost reach the height of pleasure, he adds in yet another finger. Through your hazily closed eyes, you don't see him kneeling. Suddenly you feel his warm mouth enveloping your clit. You gasp as your eyes flew open. “Sam..Sammy..” you say tentatively.

“Trust me baby..this will feel good” his voice is laced with soothing promise.

Before you can have further doubts, pleasure blankets you and drags you up to the height of it. As he sucks and laps gently, your hands involuntarily wander through his luscious locks. Finally with a cry and grasp of his hair, you tip over. His hands and lips soothe you through the fall with barely-there touches of your slit.

“oh god..that was..” you breathe heavily through your mouth as you struggle to push words out. Sam leans over and kiss you sloppily, with a goofy smile. “it’s cute to see you all thoughless and spent”

“Sam..you little jerk” you say in amidst panting.

“Hey remember I was the one making you moan my name a moment ago. Some gratitude” he smirks.

“And I’ll make you do the same, just you wait” you rope your hands through his neck pulling him.

"Is that a threat or a promise, honey? Either way, I'm all in." He interlocks his lips with yours, the deepening kiss tasting like an invitation for round two.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.

MAybe there should be a second part! Idk. This felt long but not long enough at the same time. Please let me know if anyone would like a second part. I'll try to write one (meaning I'll probably stress over it and write it in 2 weeks)

[hoshinasblade]

second best |1| hoshina soshiro

PART 1 | PART 2 | BONUS: PART THREE

DISCLAIMER: this fic has a detail that hasn't been mentioned in the anime yet. it isn't a big give-away but if you are sensitive about that kind of thing, please do not proceed. pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader genre: slight angst, comfort, childhood friends to lovers, a bit of that miscommunication trope snippet: hoshina soshiro always ranks second at everything in his life. god forbid he falls behind in the bid for your heart too. word count: 3K trigger warnings: author's note: this fic has two parts - part 2 will be posted a week from today :) likes, replies, and reblogs are always appreciated but please do not repost or steal my writings. this is quite long, but i gotta make you guys work for it. i have also set up a taglist for the second part and the other fics or drabbles, please sign up if you wanna be tagged! as always, feel free to let me know what you think or give me a prompt by sending me an ask here!

hoshina soshiro can claim with extreme conviction that he rarely regrets the decisions he has made so far in his life.

from the time he has set his sights on taking the aptitude exam necessary to be recruited in the anti-kaiju defense force, to following captain ashiro mina to support her as the vice-captain of the third division, to religiously adhering to his daily routine of working out even during his off days so he can stay in peak condition - everything he's done is driven by soshiro's lone motivation: to rise and come on top.  

unfortunately, as he sees you walking in the hallway of the training building with his brother, soshiro realises that this is one of those rare occurrences where he hopes he gets a do-over.

it was barely 6 in the afternoon so there was still light from outside; the rays of the setting sun penetrating the transparent windowpanes cast an orange glow to the furniture in soshiro's office. it made him remember how he used to always be assigned as the student to clean the classroom back in junior high school: he would sweep first then rearrange the chairs before closing the windows and drawing down the curtains. he would rush up to the rooftop, in time to watch the sun dip below the horizon. he would stay for a few precious minutes, dreaming of a chance to get out of their town. he was fifteen then.

soshiro shook his head a bit. he decided that today - of all days - will not be when he will have a trip down memory lane. yes, despite the number of times he would get reminded of his past today, he refuses to get sidetracked.

the floor is eerily silent, save for the momentary opening and closing of doors; soshiro is aware that almost everyone has left, flocking to the local izakaya not too far from the base to celebrate. he had half the mind to prompt himself to hurry up in order to make it to the get-together on time. the long and gruelling application process took three months before the vetting could begin, but finally, the third division of japan anti-kaiju defense force honoured its new officers that morning. as the nominated head of the selection committee, he oversaw the entire thing, and at the end, he could not help but to feel confident that their force would become stronger from here - this year their roster of applicants boasts high-profile names like that of the very daughter of jakdf's director general and the young master of the prestigious izumo family.

okonogi, sitting in front of him at his office, was sorting the personal forms of the recruits, a big stapler in her right hand. "i can take care of this, vice-captain", she said to him, "they cannot miss you there."

soshiro smupled to his swivel chair, obviously fatigued by the task he and okonogi had been trying to finish for half an hour already. fighting and defeating kaiju is the main part of the job, but handling the paperwork proves to be as challenging. "right, make sure the headquarters get this by the morning along with the report of all their numbers -" the sound of footsteps nearby interrupted soshiro's train of thought.

there were three loud knocks and the door opened, a man with the same eyes as soshiro peeping inside. even okonogi glanced over her shoulder to identify who the intruder is. soshiro stood up.

"just wanted ta drop by before i head back ta himeji", hoshina soichiro's undeniable accent dripped. spotting the huge pile of forms littering the desk, he commented, "seems like ya are a little preoccupied though."

"hoshina fuku taichou, good evening." your voice was firm yet jovial as you greeted him, the kansai inflection rolling off your tongue. you appeared beside soshiro's brother, still wearing the same standard-issue uniform you wore during the event several hours ago when you were sworn in as a new defense force officer. the outfit is snug on you - soshiro had noticed at the ceremony earlier, but up close the top looked almost skintight, the skirt coming up a little above your knees. soshiro can be a high-ranking official within the force, but he is also a man. if only briefly, he stared. "aren't ya going ta the party?"

taken aback that you would drop by his office, it was out of his mouth too fast he couldn't stop it - "how about ya? what are you still doing here with him?" soshiro responded pointedly at you, throwing you the same query but not answering what you asked him. it was too late to take it back; he sounded like he was interrogating you about your presence with the captain of the sixth division. soichiro winced; soshiro pretended not to see. "i- i was just thinking ya went with the officers on the way there", he added, calmer this time.

"oh, i was just catching up with hoshina-kun", you replied without missing a beat. soshiro doesn't know if the accidental force in his question just seconds prior did not intimidate you at all or you simply ignored his tone. "i mean with soichiro-kun. considering ya are hoshina too", you chuckled. soshiro stole a glance at the man at your side while maintaining an empty expression. he found his brother smirking at him; soshiro willed himself not to picture soichiro as an ugly kaiju with a butt for a face.

okonogi who is now attentively eavesdropping on your conversation caught your attention. "pardon for the bother, hoshina-san. we'll be off now."

for an instant, it looked like you were waiting for soshiro to say something in response. to say what, he doesn't know. the eye contact between you and him held up for a moment but broke as quick as it began. tension prickled in the air briefly then ebbed as you turned away from soshiro. "i'll see ya at the party, vice-captain", you gave him a bow before exiting the room. soshiro wanted to stop you; he didn't.

soichiro sighed. "it was nice seeing ya, 'lil bro", he addressed soshiro, his hand patting the latter's shoulder once, twice. "i have paperwork ta worry about too so as much as i'd like to, i won't be able ta attend your division's party. just in case ya want ta know." soshiro didn't look like he had a crumb of interest to know about his brother's occupational responsibilities; he shrugged soichiro's hand off.

soshiro saw you standing outside, leaning on the wall, when he ushered his brother out. "i'll be driving her to the izakaya though", soichiro informed him. "ya should visit our folks when ya have the time. ya should come home sometimes", soichiro continued, a hint of concern evident in his voice. when soshiro did not respond, surprisingly the older hoshina did not look a tiny bit disappointed. instead, soichiro put on a charming smile and waved at okonogi. "okonogi-chan, see ya around!" he tossed a playful wink at her.

soshiro merely watched as you and soichiro walked together, your pace matching his. a few meters away, he saw you listening intently to something soichiro was saying - he is too close - and although he is not within earshot to hear what is being said anymore, he knows it is another one of his brother's bad jokes. it looks like you were trying to suppress it, but a smile was about to dawn on your lips. soshiro felt sick to his stomach all of a sudden.

the party was already in full swing when soshiro arrived - everyone is hungrily feasting on the expensive wagyu beef, drinks flowing endlessly from the bar. everyone is enjoying themselves; even captain ashiro mina can be seen having small talk with the newly sworn-in officers who were eagerly taking notes from her.

you had easily made friends with the other rookies who are now sitting next to you; it was thanks to your group that this event was planned - after enduring long sessions of strenuous physical training every day of every week, you all deserved a night of everyone just gathering to have a good time. soshiro seems to be exempt from the festive atmosphere though.

he picked the seat next to his captain, who greeted him with a curt nod. he proceeded to grab the mug of beer served to him; the first sip registered a sharp bitterness through his mouth but soshiro relished on the flavor as it overtook his senses.

"everything alright?" captain ashiro from his side asked without lifting her gaze from her own drink. "you are being -" she paused, carefully searching to find the right words, “uncharacteristically quiet.”

soshiro picked the glass of beer again, and when he was about to put the lid on his lips, he could sense someone’s intense stare locked on him. years of being the vice-captain gifted him with equal parts instinct and paranoia so he could not help but scan the room, only to find you, sitting across the room, watching him with a curious expression.

a rowdy group of rookies surrounds you; they are high-fiving each other, laughing at their silly pranks, not minding that all of you are squeezed together at a crowded circle. soft music in the background swelled as everyone cheered and clinked glasses.

soshiro's eyes remained fixed on yours, lasting for what he felt like forever. the buzz of chatter dulled to a distant hum, fading into an almost white noise. his heart raced as he felt his breath catch and his mouth go dry. the corner of your lips curved into a smile and maybe it is the alcohol in his system, but he is certain his cheeks are flushed now.

"huh", captain ashiro lowly exclaimed. soshiro quickly snapped a glance at her. "you talked to her yet?" she asked him. ah, she caught his little moment with you.

soshiro was on the verge of playing it cool and putting on an act; he was about to outright lie to his captain by saying "talk to who?" as if he had no idea what she was referring to. he settled with silence. he was grateful his non-response only earned him a sigh from the captain who did not press the topic any further.

 "to you newbies, congratulations!" captain ashiro raised her glass, still half-filled with alcohol. her voice rang out over the place, everyone's conversations immediately falling quiet. "may the third division always be victorious in our battles to come", she recapped her speech.

the party showed no signs of slowing down. hibino kafka, a recruit in his thirties has been the centre of intrigue that has spanned for weeks now. hibino ossan - as what the others nicknamed him - had revealed in a bathroom conversation with other male rookies that he grew up with captain ashiro. ashiro mina likes dried squid; ashiro mina used to raise pets in grade school - everyone consumed any and every tidbit of trivia hibino disclosed about the usually stoic and serious third division commander. soshiro was among those invested in the rumor and you knew why. for a while, you also wondered how he would react once the rest of the troops learned about your own past with their vice-captain. would he deny it? or would he brush off any potential gossip that may arise from the revelation? if everyone discovered your shared history with hoshina soshiro, would it make him want to reconnect with you?

“you lot will start duty monday next week, but tomorrow will just be another workday for vice-captain hoshina and i”, captain ashiro said, having stood up from her seat, preparing to take off. “no, you can stay”, she said to some of the newbies who have started to get up too.

“nah, captain, why don’t we bring them along to help us file all the tedious paperwork?”, soshiro interjected in his familiar upbeat tone. the crew bursted into snickers; captain ashiro gave soshiro a perplexed look, obviously puzzled about the sudden shift in his mood. testing her theory, she looked at your direction.

captain ashiro couldn't make out why, but you were giggling at whatever your seatmate had said, elegant hand covering your mouth, eyes crinkled. she understood soshiro then - she was not foreign to feeling uneasy inside when she sees someone so physically near someone she cares about after all. "let's go, hoshina", she tucked her pity for the vice-captain away.

"do you guys think they are dating?" a particularly tactless rookie sitting at your table had asked immediately after captain ashiro and hoshina were out the sliding doors.

"i bet they're not", you blurted out a little too soon, a little too sure. you did not mind clipping your accent, your kansai-ben thick and heavy. your fellow officers looked at you, expecting an explanation for your outburst. "i mean -" you stuttered, "that would be awkward, i guess."

"you know to think of it, you're from himeji too, right?" a few more recruits have started to listen in on the exchange. these people can smell the truth off me, you thought. you wanted to smack yourself in the face.

"we went ta the same high school together, that's all", you admitted, feeling backed in a corner. tomorrow when you get questioned for this imprudent behavior, you can probably blame it all on the alcohol. "and grade school", you continued, loose-lipped now.

you still liked wearing pink bows in your hair when you met him. an only child of kind parents, you never experienced having to ask for something you like; you were doted on and spoiled so you were reasonably upset when a young hoshina soshiro did not give you the time of his day. your family has just moved to hyogo shortly before that, and you were anxious to make friends; since your early age, you had made it your mission to make soshiro acknowledge you.

"you dun wanna play with me, because ya are stupid", you told soshiro-kun once. "oka-san said all boys are stupid", you had the nerve to elaborate after he pouted at you, his unkempt bangs sticking on his sweaty forehead, his clothes dirty from training all day.

"yer pretty", he responded and you felt the blush crept up on your cheeks. "pretty annoying."

"come on, spill some tea!" someone's palm connected with the table, jolting you out of your trance. "we have another hibino-senpai situation on our hands!" they declared, grabbing you by the arm and shaking you a bit. if it was meant to encourage you to tell more childhood tales between you and the vice-captain, it worked really, really well.

"he's always had that haircut even as a kid", you said, misinterpreting the kind of story your companions wanted you to tell, judging by their disappointed looks. “i- i don’t know what else to tell you guys”, you held up your hand in surrender.

“do you have a crush on him?” you choked on your drink, caught off guard.

vexed at his absent-mindedness, soshiro was walking back to the izakaya place alone when he heard the commotion. he is going straight to bed once he gets back to the base, but he would have to retrieve his uniform jacket first from his seat earlier.

“you totally do, don’t you!” it stopped sounding like a question and more of an accusation you could not deny. “you like hoshina-san!”

“i -i do, yes... but what of it, huh?" he couldn’t see you but he would recognize the soft timbre of your voice anywhere. soshiro felt like a victorian gentleman getting a glimpse of a woman’s ankle for the first time listening in on the uproar of cheers after your confession.

“the three of us attended the same high school, soichiro-kun was a grade ahead”, you said. soshiro froze. you are talking about his brother. “he has always been good at everything, t'was hard not ta like him.”

soshiro closed his eyes, attempting to steady his breathing. he always had his suspicions - for the ceremony earlier his brother even took a day off his busy schedule as the commander of the sixth division to attend as a guest. he should have known.

last year, soshiro’s squad fought a lizard-type kaiju with a fortitude of above 8. like the reptile, a cut made on any of its limbs was useless due to advanced regeneration. a fractured rib, extremely bruised arms, and a dislocated shoulder were what it costed soshiro to win against the monster. his bitterness threatening to consume him, he cannot believe that you confirming his worst fears would hurt more than that fatal experience.

of course, he said to himself. it’s not like he can fault you for liking soichiro - everyone did. as the firstborn son, their father always had favored him. soichiro has been the more skilled swordsman between them; he was the golden child, charismatic and talented with an effortless charm - like moths to a flame he would attract people, and even in his silence he would overshadow soshiro.

soshiro didn’t stand a chance against his own flesh and blood.

he was a teenager when he dreamed of running away from the constant but inevitable competition he had with his brother. scouted for the third division, he relished on the freedom. but how do you escape the reality of the one you love loving the one person you could never measure up to?

[icyg4l]

PAC: Your Future Partner's Love Language

Hello beautiful people, tonight marks the third post of the week regarding love! (meaning I kept my promise, yay!) I have a sale going on tomorrow, so be sure to tune into that. If you would look to book a reading, please read my guidelines and then dm me! If you have any inquiries, also dm me! Without further ado, please select your pile!

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile 1: I feel like you’re the independent woman trope, Pile One. This person will be attracted to you because you have your own. But that doesn't mean that they won’t be giving. This isn’t a stingy lover at all. I get Cancer/Capricorn/Aquarius energy from this person. I see this person will be big on gift giving. They will also shower you with compliments. They don’t expect this in return, to be honest. They’re also really big on paying the tab every time at restaurants. I feel like this person is calm and collected. This person wants to follow in their family’s footsteps. They’re big on marriage and doing things the proper way. They would like to show you off, this is part of their love language as well. And lastly, this person really likes to see people stand on business. Part of their love language is helping you plan and put things into action. They’re going to be your number one fan. Expect roses and romance with this person, Pile One.

Cards Used: The Hierophant, The Hermit, 4 of Discs, Queen of Swords

extras: tacos. party pooper. mellow. skilla baby. carrie underwood. bartleby.

Pile 2: So when I was shuffling for this pile, I heard the term ‘yapper’. This person really likes to talk, even if it’s about nothing. I thought of this guy who I sit next to in my English class, and he says whatever comes to mind. I feel like this person just really wants a listening ear since they didn’t get that when they were younger. They could have been the type of kid to have “talks too much” on their report card. They have big Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Virgo energy. This person just wants to be heard and valued for once, they feel taken for granted. This person has the tendency to go down memory lane as well. They also have a thing for tickling. They honestly seem like a big kid. They are really big on humor. Their sense of humor can be deadpan or they could say a lot of one-liner punchlines. Be prepared to laugh a lot. I think this person values one-on-one time a lot as well, Pile Two.

Cards Used: Judgment, Ace of Swords, Death (RX), Eight of Discs (RX), 7 of Discs (RX)

extras: bright teeth. nice style. black beanies. toby from this is us. “kiss the ring.” wrestlers.

Pile 3: Oh man, the chemistry is hot here. This person really likes PDA. They enjoy physical touch. They want you to find any reason to touch them & they want to do the same for you. This person wants everyone to know that y’all are together. They could be a little clingy, let them know if that’s too much for you. I get the feeling that this could be their first real relationship so please be gentle with them. I feel like this person is like a big teddy bear. They really enjoy hugs, sharing drinks with you, cuddling, hand-holding and sloppy kisses. It all makes their world go round. You guys will be engaging in a lot of sexual activity together so please protect yourselves! Overall, this person is not shy. This person is quite the flirt, very physical. They give big Leo, LIbra, Aries energy. You guys are going to be like that one couple in high school that got detention for kissing by the lockers. People might be uncomfortable by your dynamic because you’re so physical with one another, but fuck it!

Cards Used: Knight of Wands, The Chariot, Princess of Cups, The Lovers, Ace of Cups.

extras: sweet face. wink. “hold me.” soft hands. racy. lord farquaad. monochromatic. skin-to-skin.

Pile 4: Can we say dramaaaa? I feel like your person is really dramatic. They’re the epitome of go big, go home. They give off Pisces, Leo, Sagittarius energy. They’re the epitome of male R&B singers in the early 2000s. This person has the best intentions but it can be overwhelming for you at times. Know that this person is doing their best. This is a part of who they are, there’s no faking this personality. I think this person would literally do anything for you. If you were to ask for a cookie from the store, they would bring you the cookie, a sandwich, a drink, chips and flowers just to make your day. This person is really good at planning parties and spending money. If you were to have a birthday coming up, they would have a surprise party planned with all of your favorite people there and thoughtful gifts. This person wants to give you the world, honestly. Don’t feel embarrassed by the things that this person does because you deserve it. They do it out of purity, but you can tell them to tone it down if it’s really getting to you.

Cards Used: The Emperor, The Fool, Justice, 7 of Cups, Ace of Discs, Princess of Cups

extras: my way by usher. “It’s camp.” new edition. clown colors. teezo touchdown. rich uncle vibes.

[phone4pills]

𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒐𝒕!chris gets a new camera and records memories that he can play back when you’re not around

When you’d bought the camera and given it to Chris for New Year’s he was over the moon. And of course so were you now that you’d figured out a way to record memories and store them on a USB stick. Then you could upload them to Chris’ ROM.

CLIP 01 — 0:19

you had an hour left before the science fair opens. the sports hall at your college was bustling with excitement and exploration. you had spent so many late nights with Chris building the parts of the mini rocket and testing them to make sure that they would no doubt work on the day of the showing. Chris, who had tagged along was filming you as you paced about making sure everything was in place. he was just about to say something when your face dropped. “a part is missing. Chris put that fucking camera down and help me find it!”

CLIP 02 — 0:05

you’re busy working away on one of your assignments and Chris is just all over you. the short clip shows when he comes at you from behind, wrapping an arm around your front and you give his head a scratch, kissing his face.

CLIP 03 — 0:32

the sun peaked through the window as Chris tiptoed into your room. it was finally the weekend and you warned him you were going to sleep until the late morning, around 11. Chris got closer to your bedside, trying not to giggle and he reached to pull the cover off you. before he could even touch the duvet, your hand clawed down around his wrist and with a good amount of effort, you pulled his weight down on the bed, stroking his hair as he lay sprawled over you. then you took the camera, shut it off, and placed it on the nightstand. p.s the two of you slept until 2 pm.

CLIP 04 — 0:24

a late nights drive to McDonald’s turns into a shit show when Chris can’t help himself and drinks down your whole cup of Pepsi. the drive home is silent as Chris clutches the camera with a pout, completely unaware that it’s recording as you speed down the lane towards your house, the last thing caught in the audio being “c’mon. gotta get that stuff out of you before you become dangerous.”

CLIP 05 — 0:45

it’s no surprise that the longest clip is Chris admiring you whilst you do the simplest of tasks. you hum away, watching the pasta boil on the stove as Cigarettes After Sex with lays in the background. and your robot boy watches intently, a lazy smile on his face as though it were superglued there. there’s a small view of the Pokémon cards he’d been organising that lay in order of rarity and issue on the table. this clip is Chris’ favourite because it reflects your time together almost perfectly. just the two of you, getting on with your lives. but it was so much more meaningful when you were in each other’s presence. it was so much more comforting.

while I’ve been procrastinating on writing actual fics, here’s a little idea I had recently. hopefully robot!Chris will be making a MASSIVE comeback this year. and I encourage you guys to write your own robot!Chris ideas and blurbs as long as you tag me !! inspired by @kiemiu ‘s ‘vids your bf sends you’ works LOVE THEM SM.

- ©phone4pills

[vi-arcanes-left-biceps]

So I wanted to talk about Vi and Jinx...

I think one of the most beautiful things in Arcane re: the sisters is how reconnecting is, for both of them, only possible when they break out of their pre-conceived notions of each other that they've been dragging since childhood.

To reconnect with Jinx, S2 Vi has to acknowledge her as an independent adult and let go of the perception of a small vulnerable child that she needed to protect at all times. S2 Jinx, to reconnect with Vi, has to see her sister as someone vulnerable, both physically and emotionally, and not as this sort of always-strong, idealised protector.

Only when they break their childhood dynamic they are able to see each other as equal and find a common ground.

And I love their dynamic in season 2 because despite all the bagage they have you can see how they are getting to see each other as their own persons, while also being silly af like only two siblings can be. It's very little time, but you can tell they are maturing together.

I think many 'arcane critical' Vi takes fail to understand this. They are trapped in S1 Vi's and Jinx's minds. They are still expecting them to conform to the unhealthy dynamic of protector and protected; and fail to see what Vi and Jinx see of each other in S2. Vi is no ideal protector nor a hero of the vulnerable: she's a flawed, young woman with tons of emotional bagage. Jinx is not an uwu baby who needs protection and is unable to do things for herself: she can very much protect herself, she's independent, a survivor, as well as deeply traumatised too.

And this is not subtext at all. Vi points out in the mines that Jinx hasn't needed her in a long time -she's realised her sister is more than capable of fending for herself. Jinx makes teasing observations of Vi's soft spots throughout S2: telling her she knows she's soft on Caitlyn during Act I finale, calling her a "sentimental excon" in act II... And she's seen her become an alcoholic due to all her unprocessed trauma and the situation after act I (and also makes a comment about that).

Their whole journey in S2 is about how they cannot, and do not, conform to the dynamic they acquired when they were children. They are two different persons now, and they are also mature enough to understand each other as multi-dimensional, as oppossed to their one-dimensional perceptions of each other as protector and protected that they had in S1 Act I and that dragged on S1 as a whole.

Criticising Vi's character for not going after Jinx after their last encounter is failing to understand many things, but mainly, it is a symtom of being trapped in the dynamic they had in episode 1, when most of the story of their relationship in the series is guided to tell us how this is not who they are, and these perceptions frozen in time are hurting both of them.

"Everyone in my life has changed" says Vi in S2 Act I finale. It is true: she's been locked in a jail cell, where all of the Lanes, her family, her friends... remained frozen in memory, and now she doesn't know who this people are. She's struggling with years and years of emptyness in which everyone she knows has grown and changed and she's been stuck -she's changed, too, but that's harder for her to see. She doesn't know who Jinx is, and until S1 finale she is unable to see this fact. Her behaviour in S2 Act I is, among other things, a backlash reaction to this realization, also a mistaken, unidimensional perception of her sister -not a perfect victim now, but a perfect perpetrator. Jinx also takes her time to get to see Vi for who she is now, but she's finally able to in S2. That doesn't mean they understand each other -quite far from it actually- but they are able to see and accept each other as complex people, with deep rooted bagage, part the same they were as children, part completely different.

Then it comes S2 ep8. Vi's fight with Caitlyn about Jinx demonstrates how Vi is now able to understand Jinx as a multidimensional character, see her complexity, her humanity, and argue she's different than they (both Caitlyn and Vi) thought she was. Jinx's conversation with Vi underscores how much Jinx recognises their dynamic has been hurting them both ("You're never going to give up on me") and how Vi has wishes and feelings of her own, even if she's repressing them to play her part as the big protector sis. These observations fuel Jinx's suicidal ideation, and Vi's incapability to give up her protector role, despite knowing Jinx doesn't need it anymore, gets her to have a breakdown. Neither know what this moment did to the other, because they still don't know each other that much. But they cannot save themselves without having had this conversation.

It's a perfect tragedy where a childish dynamic is entertwined with guilt, pain, and tons of trauma. It is a barbed wire that traps them both - it hurts when they are still, and it hurts more when they try to break free. Only with help they can disentangle themselves and one another; and that's where Cait and Ekko come in, too (and for Jinx, Isha and Sevika also did a part).

Anyway, I love me some doomed sisters dynamic.

[ranchstoryblog]

Fandom Memories: HMFarm

Hmmm. So, nearly a quarter of you whippersnappers wanna hear about the good ol' days, huh? Well, back in the day, you wouldn't just hang out on one or two big websites to try to find people who shared your niche interests among a million random users. Everything had its own dedicated site, with its own special pack of weirdos that you probably wouldn't find anywhere else. Home grown fandom, sprouting from the cement sidewalks of the freshly paved internet like so many weeds with pretty little flowers on top. So, let's take a little stroll down memory lane and visit one of the oldest fan sites with Archive.org's "Wayback Machine."

Ahh, just like I remember it. This here is "Harvest Moon Farm." 'course, we just called it HMFarm, like the URL did. This used to be the place to be. The prime progenitor of all farmin' fansites in the English speaking community. Maybe not the literal first, but up until around 2005, this was where you would go if you wanted to know anythin' about digital farmin'. It truly was a magical place to visit.

This screenshot isn't the oldest design, but it's the one I fondly remember. The majority of my time using the site was during the lead-up to A Wonderful Life, which was probably also when it was the most active as an information source. Seeing the screenshots, checking the forums, speculatin', wonderin', dreamin'... It's a warm feeling. I can't really describe how it felt to look at these shots for the first time. Granted, they were mostly sourced from various places like IGN or Newtechnix, but who wanted to go to THOSE messy sites when all the info I wanted was right here? IGN wasn't telling me how to revive the Vineyard in Harvest Moon 64 while I was waiting for AWL news either.

Our first look at the character we would come to know as Muffy, the sheer novelty of being able to go into the townsfolk's glorious, 3D-rendered rooms, the apparent misidentification of flowering tomatoes... The webmaster, Gamergirl87, would caption each one as well. Some of the captions of those screenshots ended up not being exactly true, but it was the closest thing to on-going coverage we really had. Who else was there to trust?

It's a little off topic, but I think at one point after learning about the GBA connectivity, I must have dreamed about this very gallery and seeing a screenshot of a Gamecube-ized Popuri with the caption that Mineral Town villagers would visit after connecting the GC and GBA together. At least, I'm pretty sure it was a dream. I've met some people who claim they saw the same thing, but none of us have been able to find that screenshot or comment again.

The one that would most catch my attention was the one on the left here. I didn't have a PlayStation 2, so I was coming fresh off of the GameBoy and Nintendo 64 when going into A Wonderful Life. The pond, the mysterious glowing plants, the mood and ambiance of their lighting, the little tree on the door... Naturally, I mirrored it on my first day the remake was available.

It's a real shame that the message boards are poorly preserved, since it doesn't look like there was a news post about the pre-order plush cow. I was hoping to find the name of whoever it was that convinced me to commit my first ever preorder. I still have the receipt, but without the forum post it's really only tangentially related to HM Farm.

'course, just learning about existing games and upcoming games wasn't the only good thing HM Farm was for. As I alluded to, there was a whole community here! While it's a shame that the message boards aren't well preserved by the Wayback Machine, you know what is?

The "ideas" list! This incredible time capsule was one of the first "interactive" parts of the site, starting in the year 2000. It's kind of fun to see how many of these ideas actually happened. Obviously, new characters and personalities were probably expected, but Animal Parade would eventually feature a honeymoon, several games have clothing and other customization, a mall, city, and pig would be added as soon as GBC 3, a goat would be in A Wonderful Life... It's actually amazing how prescient a lot of the suggestions are.

I'd share the whole thing, but the amount of e-mail addresses involved gives me pause. Still, there's a couple I wanna highlight:

Considering how often I still hear about people wanting to marry the moms and people attributing it to just "the fans getting older," it's funny to see Laserion lay out that, no, we've always been like this. Right down to using Manna's unhappy marriage and Lillia's husband never returning as valid reasons they should be available.

Tuan145, on the other hand, I just find extremely amusing because of the specific "2002 Escalade" part. Yes, this is clearly the ideal vehicle for all farmers in the Story of Seasons universe. This is now accepted headcanon. The boat was added in GBC 3 too, so obviously a 2002 Escalade is going to be added any day now.

Another thing that's amazingly well preserved is the site's fan art section. There's a few missing images here and there, but for the most part the entire thing is open to explore. People of basically all ages and skill levels happily submitted their creations, including original characters, digital art, traditional art, crossovers with popular series like Sailor Moon, a liiittle bit of drug use... Y'know, all the kinds of things you'd expect to see in a fan art gallery of the day.

Even better, some of the artists are still doing art today! Looking around, I quickly discovered one of my favorites, Rina Cat, is now on Blue Sky. I made sure to ask for permission to repost their art before including it here. Reaching out to everyone would be a bit much though, so I'll just encourage you to just browse the gallery using the Wayback Machine yourself. There's poetry and fanfics too!

There's a lot more to the site, including useful bits of history like keeping track of release dates for games, pre-release screenshots, and information that was only available on Japanese websites at the time, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Unfortunately, though the site continued to be updated until 2010 and stayed online until 2021, it's no longer available on the regular internet and the URL doesn't seem safe to access anymore. I wanted to include an interview with the former webmaster as well, but all their readily available contact information was tied to the website and I haven't had any luck so far in finding other means of contact. If I have any success, I'll be sure to make a follow-up! If you have any memories of HMFarm, or other fan sites, I'd be happy to hear about it.

[ratindividual]

As someone with a mild disability to the knee and can't walk very long without feeling pain all through the leg and hip, people saying Viktor's own is a flaw and need to be cured asap because it's painful kinda misses the point of it all.

When Jayce said this:

He's not saying Viktor shouldn't have tried to find a cure to the pain or any ailment, he is saying Viktor was not flawed because he is disabled, which is what Viktor think.

"[...] what you thought were weaknesses." this is important to note, Jayce here doesn't share the same sentiment, he does not think it as a weakness, but part of a whole package that comes with someone (in that case, Viktor) Jayce took him like he was, and adored him.

A weakness is something you need to destroy before it gets to you, and sometimes, you will do unspeakable things to achieve it.

Viktor was never broken, imperfections make who he is, and by definition, makes every human.

Perfection does not exist, it is our emotions, our contradictions, our differences that make it incredible, human being are messy by design, we are a collectivity of incredibly diverse people and deserve respect!

It is not a flaw, it's a condition he lives with, which makes him singular, and that same disability constructed who he is, too: his drive, his mind, his resilience, his care and utter empathy for others, which are traits that Jayce admire most of it all!!! He says it himself:

It is his heart, his humanity, everything that Viktor think as a nuisance, that Jayce wants to preserve. He loves him for it, instead of despite it, and he finds him beautiful, both physically and mentally, it was never a question for him!

His unwavering compassion to push further, his ambitions, because he loves him. Jayce is an emotional, empathetic man, he values connection above all, and he understands.

He's saying Viktor has always been perfect to him because of it all. We humans are flawed, this is the inevitability of being conscious and alive.

Which is why this, this is very important:

Jayce knows Viktor, at this point, had lost his way. Empathy cannot work under the false prism of selflessness if it makes you believe that choice is an illusion, thus making it for others.

Jayce believes in choices, and knows that the people Viktor saves are, by proxy, unable to have any agency over their own fate, which is exactly the most important theme going on with Viktor throughout all two seasons. Viktor wants to take back control over his own self, while simultaneously pushing this on others who need help too.

I am convinced Jayce would have been more than fine with Viktor tweaking himself because he wants it, he was on board in season 1, he actually made the change himself in a misguided attempt to save the man he loves at the start of season 2. (which is very interesting, considering his feelings made him do something he himself sanctions such as resurrecting his soulmate, I love his contradictions so much)

He understands the desperation, the want to have a better life. But he doesn't want it to strip other's people individuality and Viktor's own sense of self, ripping his heart out for the sake of flawlessness.

He knows, too, the price of the perfect world Viktor wants to create. An endless loop of loneliness, mourning a man that is but a shell of himself, conscious through the hive but not him. His essence gone. A cross too heavy to bear.

And yet, Jayce never stopped loved him, never stopped fighting for him to understand how much he values him and respects him, worshiping the literal ground under his feet!!

Even in his godly form, he is head over heels for him!!! Look at how Viktor looks!! While talking face to face with this Eldritch incarnation, he remembers how Viktor used to look down memory lane, and it was still as majestic and grandiose, even!

It's why he confesses in the first place. He is in love with him through it all. His body changed, but it is still Viktor. He loves him wholly, every part of him! No matter where it takes them, no matter what he looks like.

Jayce loves Viktor with everything he has and no matter what comes their way. An unwavering, tangible loyalty.

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 8.2 K Warnings: angst Prompt: After fighting some of those deamons, will the rest of Vixen's issues be resolved? Is there a way to be happy even without the boys? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.Proofread by Lovely @aremuslupinsimp

You leaned down and took one of the Mirror shreds in your hands. Depending on where you moved it, you could see reflections from all the things you’d seen inside: Sirius crying, Remus desperate, your father crying for your mother, and you crying for Nina. You being dropped from your father’s arms and several other moments. You sighed, placed the shred in your bag, and walked towards the clock. If you had one of the parts, then not even the most expert reparo, and neither would all the king’s men, put Riapsed together again. 

When you crossed over to the other vault, you took the three keys on the face of the clock and placed them in your bag alongside all the money you’d already taken. You gave one long look to the vault, at the books lying on the floor and at the harp singing its sorrowful song in the back. You didn’t understand why your father had created the riddle for you. You didn’t understand why he kept making things harder, but in the end, it didn’t matter. 

Not as long as you didn’t follow the same steps he would, not as long as you made the choices he would scorn. 

You walked outside of the vault, the goblin, Tharnock, was waiting patiently there for you. Your little odyssey through memory lane had eaten up about 2 hours, and you had to get out before people knew you were there, or before Thernock realised how weird the entire thing had been for him. 

“Are you finished, Miss?” 

You nodded, “Yes, thank you.” 

Tharnock walked you back to the minecart and you were both back in the main hall in a matter of minutes. The goblin gave you the key as you walked past the golden gates, he went back to his desk and you walked the hell away from the bank. Once outside, you used the hairpin to blend within the crowd and walked towards a less transited street. 

You still hadn’t eaten at all over the weekend. But the strong emotions revolting inside you didn’t make you want to go and buy something either. You checked the clock and decided it was about time to raise your wand. The knight bus appeared a couple of minutes later.

“Where to, Lassie?” the same pudgy guy that had picked Beth and Tom asked. 

“Hogsmeade,” you replied. 

“Hot chocolate?” 

You contemplated the idea for a second. You had tried to drink the hot chocolate before and you didn’t like the idea of getting it all over yourself again, although it was quite tasty. “No thank you,” you said in the end.

“That’ll be 11 Sickles then.” You paid with a galleon. “No change, Lass?” 

“Sorry, no.”

He grumbled something about people never carrying change and then handed you 6 sickles. One of them was sticky and you tried not to make a disgusted face as you wiped it on your jeans and walked into one of the few available seats. The trip wasn’t too long, but by the time you were in Hogsmeade, you wanted to puke. 

“Thanks for using the Knight Bus, come back soon!” The guy said as you and a few other students you didn’t recognise got down from the train. It was cold outside, and you walked straight towards Honeydukes. 

The train had arrived at Hogwarts about an hour before and plenty of students roamed around Hogsmeade, making some last-minute purchases and stocking up on candies and such. They all looked happy and carefree. You had been like that before, you sorrowfully wondered if you’d ever get to smile that big. 

There was a couple kissing in the Alley behind the Three Broomsticks, and you flinched when you noticed the way the guy was holding her. It was a thing Sirius used to do all the time. You looked at them for more than would have seen appropriate, took a deep breath and continued walking. 

“Hey, Starkeeper!” You heard someone calling from behind. Funny he called you that, you hadn’t been particularly good at keeping your star.

He ran up to you and stopped right in front of you with a frown. He looked all over your face. “Sorry, I thought you were…” You took off the hairpin, and Minho looked at you in shock. “I knew it was you!” he whispered-shouted as he leaned closer, placing an arm over your shoulder and covering as much of you as he could with his chest. “Why are you hiding, is it because of Christmas?”  

“Nice to see you, Min” you said with a small smile. You were genuinely happy about not being alone. “Tom– Tom told you about Christmas?” 

“No?” he asked, confused. “My parents did. They had been invited to the party, Arkalis is Dad’s coworker, but we were travelling back to Korea to visit our family for Christmas. Mum feels terrible about not going, they were told everything that happened, she wished she could have helped you.” 

“Oh,” you said as you took a deep breath. You knew Minho’s parents worked in politics, his father was an ambassador from the Korean Ministry of Magic (KMM), but you’d also heard that in Asia there wasn’t as much prejudice against muggles as there was in England. In fact, much like the Americans, they didn’t have a derogatory term for them, but rather they called the 비마법사 or 비마법 for short, which basically translates to non-wizard or non-wiz. And there was no such term as Muggle-born either, a wizard was a wizard, that simple. 

Obviously, Minho had been in shock when he found out such a term existed and that’s why he was such good friends with the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, he just didn’t understand the whole bIood purity bias some of the Slytherins insisted on, not even if he was also a pure bIood. Unfortunately, even if the KMM considered all wizards wizards, they did not see different sexual preferences as openly as the Eastern part of the world did. In fact, they deemed homosexuality as a “European deviation” even if it had existed in Asia for the same amount of time. Of course, Minho was horrified at the idea of being outed. 

“Yeah,” he continued. “They think what you did was insanely brave. They were talking about you at breakfast. They recognised you as the Gryffindor seeker and I had to tell them you were actually the keeper instead. They came to our match a couple of months ago, the one where you threw yourself off the broom to beat Reggie to the snitch? You know, right?” You nodded, it’s not like you could forget about that. “Anyway, they said they thought you were really determined then, but that they didn’t know just how brave you were until they heard about the party.” 

You swallowed, you had been told that by adults more than once in the past few days. Brave, determined, and you might have been all those things, but you were also alone now. Your bravery had charged a hefty price in return. Minho noticed you were upset, and he leaned a little closer, cocking his head as he looked at you. “Have you eaten? I’m going to meet Tom at The Three Broomsticks.” 

You opened your mouth to respond, and then closed it again, shaking your head in response. You were pretty sure mentioning to Minho –Mr. Healthy– of all people that you hadn’t eaten since Friday would have you listening to a very long talk about the importance of food and how it fuels your body and whatnot. 

“So it’s my treat then,” Minho said as he pushed you along with him. “For saving the world!” You were about to argue. “Don’t even think about it, young lady,” he retorted. 

Minho had gotten a lot bossier since he started dating Tom. You sighed and didn’t argue further, which had him throw a weary glance at you. You almost always sassed him back in some way or another. By the time the two of you arrived at the restaurant, Tom was already sitting on one of the tables with two butterbeers ordered.

“Slysprite!” he said once he spotted you, and leaned in to pull you into a hug. He also gave an awkward hug to Minho, as if both wanted to stay together for longer but knew it wouldn’t be appropriate to do it in public. Tom waited for you to sit down and handed you his jug of butterbeer. He looked at you patiently as you took a big gulp. You were about to ask Minho if he could buy you something heavier when Tom spoke again, “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong.” 

Tom gave you a look. “Sirius and Remus were whispering to each other the entire train ride, James was clearly angry about it and you were nowhere to be seen. In fact, I’d dare say you left since the party on Friday. Effie said something about you feeling sick, but I didn’t buy shit. What happened?” 

“Tom,” Minho said in a warning tone. 

“Nope,” the blue-eyed boy said with a hand finger up as if to tell Minho not to meddle. “What happened?” he insisted.

You sighed and raised the butterbeer with your hand. “Do you have some real alcohol?” 

“Minho, babe?” he said with a small pout, Minho threw him a look, but Tom called most people babe anyway. Even if Minho knew his was special. “Would you be a darling and bring this kind lady some whiskey?” 

“She hasn’t eaten, Tom.” 

“But she surely had breakfast, right?” You didn’t respond, only raised one of your eyebrows at him. “See, go get her some.” 

Minho stood up and walked towards the bar, he was the only one old enough to buy Fire Whiskey, and he got two glasses since he knew Tom would want some, and he’d drink a bit from his glass. He also ordered fries and a dish to share.

“You look like shit,” Tom said.

“Well, thank you,” you responded and took a sip from the butterbeer, they had never felt bitter to you before, and yet this time it was almost hard to swallow the foamyness of it.

“I mean, why the hell did you leave the Potters’? Do you know how dangerous that is?” 

“I’ve almost diеd plenty of times in the last couple of days,” not to mention the last couple of hours, you thought. “I had to leave.” 

“Why?” 

“Because!”  

Minho arrived with the drinks and handed you the glass, you thanked him and dragged it to your mouth, drinking the double whiskey he’d ordered in one swing. Minho, who had barely let go of it, took hold of it again and pulled it from your mouth, as he placed the food on the centre of the table. He was sitting beside you now, using his body to cover your face from most of the restaurant “Ey, Ey!” He said. “What’s wrong?” He looked at you with genuine concern, both boys did, which only made you feel even worse. 

You looked at them for a second and then turned to Minho with the hopes of changing the subject. “Tell me about your Christmas, Min. Did you see all your cousins?” 

The boy sighed and turned to Tom for help. Minho would have probably responded and would have distracted you from everything that was going on, but Tom was more of the “no-nonsense” kind of guy. He looked at Minho sternly and shook his head slowly. Minho frowned at him in return, as if it pained him not to comply. 

“Slysprite!” Tom chided. “You just downed a glass of Firewhisky like it was water, your face tells me you’ve slept like shit and Sirius and Remus are just as bad as you. James looks exasperated and I’m sorry to be the one to knock some sense into you, but you look like you bought a liquor store and drank it.” 

“I’m not drunk.”  That was true, the entire Gringotts adventure had been enough to sober you up. 

“It’s not what I mean,” Tom responded pointedly. “You know it’s not what I mean.” 

“I’ve had quite a fucking day, Tom.” 

“Well then, go on and tell us about it. What the fuck is wrong with the boys?” 

You sighed, if you didn’t say it then it wasn’t real. And yet you would say it now. “I broke up with Sirius.” 

“What did he do?” Minho asked.

“Why does everyone assume it was he that did something?” 

“Because it’s Sirius Black,” Tom responded. “If not then, why? You look miserable about it, so it’s not because you didn’t want to be with him.”

“Of course, it isn’t,” you said as you hid your head in between your arms and let out a sad groan. 

“Then?” 

“You can’t tell anyone.” 

“Well, we’re both great at keeping secrets,” Minho said, and you turned to him with an incredulous look. 

“That was an accident!”

“I’ll put a tongue twister spell on him after, you cool with that, babe?” 

“For sure.” 

You sighed, “It’s not because of what he did, it’s because of what he wouldn’t have done.” 

“Which is?” 

“Date Remus.” 

Both boys eyed each other confused before turning to you again, your head was buried in between your arms, and you didn’t say a word. 

“What?” Tom asked with a frown.

“I accidentally bumped into Remus jerking off to Sirius’ name…” 

“Well, we’ve all jerked off to Sirius’ name,” Tom said as if it was a non-issue. Minho was about to protest, but after thinking about it for a second longer, he remembered he too had done it.

You threw him an exasperated look, “Maybe, but you don’t look at Sirius the way Remus does.” 

Tom closed his mouth. Minho just frowned as he looked at you. What about the way he looks at you? he wondered. 

“And then I felt like shit because Remus is my best friend and he likes Sirius and I was in the middle of that and–” 

“But Sirius likes you,” Tom interrupted. “I’ve never seen him like anyone in the way he likes you.” 

“Which is why he would have suffered in silence,” you added. “He likes Remus too,” you sighed. “After I found out, I paid closer attention. I was so bIoody blinded by his beautiful eyes, long lashes and prince-like looks. I was not looking at the way he always veered closer to Remus. Heck, I took a fucking picture of the two of them cuddling each other because I thought it was cute once I slept with them.” 

“You… slept with Remus and Sirius at the same time?” Miho asked, confused.

“What? No! We were cuddling not shagging,” you said as if it made it more normal. “Anyway, I totally get it. I mean, Remus is tall and handsome and has those beautiful eyes of his that are always a different colour. He’s clever and brilliant and good at all the classes he takes, but also gentle and kind, not to mention he’s fucking ripped… I cannot blame Sirius for falling for him. And of course, I could never blame Rem for liking Sirius, I’m on the same fucking boat.” 

Tom was looking at your problem, and all he could see was the solution and a very interesting one at that. But he wasn’t just outright going to say it, he had to allow you to discover it yourself. “And do tell, Slysprite, what else is there to like about Remus Lupin?” He asked sceptically. Minho looked at him with a frown and Tom gave him a reassuring nod.

“What else?” you asked in disbelief. “What isn’t to like about Remus? You know he is perceptive as fuck? He knew I was feeling down and helped me feel better, he’d met me a fucking week ago. He’s always three steps ahead of you, I swear I can never beat him on magic chess, he’s a brilliant duelist, and incredible at DADA. He knows the best book recommendations and he speaks so softly when he reads to you. When–” you hesitated. “When Nina and Mum diеd he was there to comfort me. He didn’t ask questions, he just hugged me and listened, he’d such an incredible listener. He can be moody sometimes but that just adds to how charming he is and I– I mean… he’s the best friend I could have ever asked for, I could not imagine how incredible he would be as a partner. Sirius will be lucky to have him. Anyone would.” 

“Aha,” Tom said as he nodded and looked at you. 

“What?”

Tom shrugged, “Nothing,” he said. “It just sounds to me that… you like him as well.” 

You looked at Tom, your back straightened for a second as you pulled back, and you let out a hollow breath, then you gulped. If it hadn’t been for the dire situation you were in, Tom would have taken a picture of how hilariously dumbfounded you looked. 

You groaned and buried your head in between your arms again. “Thanks, Tom! Way to make me more fucking miserable!” you mumbled.

Another thing you had been too blind to see. Fucking Ricchie had been saying that for ages, Reflection Nina had also mentioned something similar. The fox surrounded by the moon and stars? The lady at the three broomsticks? Symbolism was everywhere. Heck, you kept stealing his fucking sweaters because you loved the way they smelled.

“More miserable?” Tom scoffed a laugh. “Darling this is the best thing that could have happened to you!” 

“How?!” You asked, turning back at him, tone angry and bitter. 

“Well, simple: Sirius likes you and Remus, You like Remus and Sirius, Remus likes Sirius and you. It’s a throuple.”

“Remus doesn’t like me!” 

“Oh, he does,” Minho said casually. 

“What?” You asked as you turned to him, he seemed so sure about it. 

“I’ve seen those loving eyes of Remus before, he’s smitten.” 

“But that’s–” Impossible! 

Is it? Really? 

Remus had always been there for you. You remembered his worried expression when he found you on the snow, the hesitance by which he touched you, the way he looked at you back at the Halloween party, the way he would complain about you taking his sweaters but would always wear them after he got them back, when they still smelled of you. 

The way he blushed when you teased him about Alice, how he always seemed slightly disconnected when talking about her, or sex, for that matter, with you. If he thought of you as a friend, and only as a friend, would he be uncomfortable over it? Had James ever been? 

“Oh,” you said as realisation hit you. “Oh,” you said again when you realised how fucking miserable you had made them both. Of course, Remus would never go for Sirius, not if he loved you as well, it was the fucking reason you had –stupidly– broken up with Sirius in the first place. “I’ve been an idiot!” 

“There it is,” Tom said with a satisfied nod and got head slapped by Minho who was a lot more comprehensive over your struggling feelings.

“Tom, you’re brilliant,” you said as you stood up from the chair and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I owe you big time, we all do!” you said thinking of your boys. Yes, your boys. Didn’t that sound delightful?” 

“What are you going to do?” Minho asked.

“Find them,” you said matter of factly. “Find them and talk to them.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Tom cheered and took out some parchment from his bag as the door shut behind you. 

“What are you doing?” Minho asked him as he leaned over the paper. 

“Writing Beth,” he said. “I think I won the bet.” 

“What bet?” 

“The one about those three having a very intense threesome,” Tom said casually and got another head slap from Minho. 

“Oi,” he complained and pushed him playfully. Not that it did anything to Minho, Tom had always been smaller. 

“Don’t bet on peoples’ feelings!” Minho chided. 

“What about yours?” 

“What about mine?” 

“Can I bet on the feelings you have for me?” Tom asked almost in a whisper as he leaned closer to his boyfriend. He had a small smirk when he leaned back, it growing wider when he noticed the tip of Minho’s ears reddening. 

“You’re such an idiot,” Minho said as he covered his face with his palms, maybe then it would be less evident how blushed he’d become.

Tom just smiled and patted him on the back, “That makes you a bigger idiot since you fell for me.” 

You ran through Hogsmeade and used a disillusionment charm to walk through the back door and into the cellar. From there you climbed down the hatch and almost bumped into James as you turned to walk. 

“Vixen?” he asked. He couldn’t see you at all. “Did you get an invisibility cloak or something?” 

“What?” you asked, confused. “Finite incantatem,” you said and looked at him with a frown. 

“It was a disillusionment charm? I couldn’t see you at all.” 

“Maybe you should get your eyes checked,” you said as you leaned closer to Prongs and took his glasses from his face. 

It was like you were surging with energy now, excitement and a bit of nervousness buzzing through your very atoms as you thought of being able to kiss Sirius again, of never having to stop. As you thought of how soft Remus’s lips would be on yours, how happy it would make him to know that he could have what he wanted without hurting anyone at all. 

“Are you okay?” James asked, concerned. You looked nothing like what you’d sounded through the earrings. 

“Totally!” you replied. “Do you know where Sirius and Remus are?” 

“Well, I’m not sure… I think Slughorn wanted to talk with Remus about some potion he’s been working on with a student and he went there. Sirius…? I have no idea.” 

“Do you have the map?” you asked. James shook his head and you handed back his glasses. “These seem all right to me,” you said with a shrug. 

“Moony must have it,” he added, still confused.

“Oh, that’s excellent, I need to go to the dungeons then,” you said and turned around to speed off, but James caught up to you and pulled you to turn to him. 

He was looking at you with concern. “Are you okay?” he asked solemnly, both hands on your shoulders as he stared at you attentively. 

You were almost dragged back to reality by his question. Bad things still happened around you, dark and sad, and life-threatening things. You were still upset about what happened, but you weren’t hopeless anymore. There was light at the end of the tunnel and the fact that you wouldn’t be alone as you faced all of it was as comforting as it was thrilling. Your boys, you’d get to see your boys. 

“Yeah,” you said with a small smile as you nodded. “I’m going to fix things.” 

“The thing with Remus and Sirius?” 

“Exactly that,” you added with a smile, James’ concern slowly turned into a small grin. 

“You’re telling me you found a way to have them stop being all moody?” 

“If the plan works,” you said with a shrug.

“You seem confident.” 

“It’s a good plan,” you retorted. James nodded and you turned around again. 

“Hey, Vix!” He said again. 

“Yeah?” you asked as you turned around. James smiled from how excited you seemed, and then turned to his bag, throwing the cloak at you. 

“Take this, might be useful.” 

“And you?” 

“I’ll disillusion myself to get out and walk back to the castle,” then he cocked his head to the side and bit his lip. “I heard Evans is going to be at Hogsmeade before dinner.” 

You smiled, “Good luck!” 

“You too.” 

You took off again, the cloak in your hands and your small, expansion charm bag bumping against your hip as you rushed through the passage. It hadn’t been many times that you’d taken the HoneyDukes way to the castle, but it was narrower and somehow less moist than the one on the Shack. 

You arrived at the one-eyed witch statue, took the cloak and wrapped it around yourself before speeding all the way to the dungeons. You stopped just outside the potions classroom. You could hear Slughorn’s voice from the door. 

“So, would you be interested in taking the potion for a test?” 

“You said Belby worked on this?” Remus asked. 

“Yeah, I believe he collaborated with someone too, but that person didn’t want to take any of the credit. They made some kind of deal, I believe.” 

“Okay,” Remus said as he took the potion in his hands and nodded. “I’ll tell you how it went next month.” 

“Very well, I’d like to get all your thoughts on a paper so I can hand those to Dacmocles. You may change your handwriting or use a Quick-Quotes quill, I believe Professor McGonagall has one and will gladly lend it to you.” Remus seemed hesitant after that. “Of course, both you and your partner will get extra points for your work. Not that you need much of those.” 

“Right, yes,” Remus said, trying not to grimace when the thought of you, still alone, Godric knows where, came crawling into his mind. “I’ll write the paper.” 

“Brilliant!” the professor retorted and went back to check the papers on his table, which prompted Remus to exit the room with a simple nod. You smiled as you saw him pass by you, determined to get somewhere as he pulled a very familiar parchment from his sweater, and walked towards one of the secret passages you used all the time.

You walked right behind him and watched as he swore over the map and used Lumos to see the words that slowly appeared on the parchment.

“Who are you looking for?” You asked, leaning just behind him and looking at the map just from the side of his shoulder. 

Remus almost jumped out of his skin, turning completely when he heard your voice, his shoulder accidentally hitting your chin since you didn’t have enough time to pull back. He didn’t notice though, too shocked about you literally appearing out of nowhere.

“Where the hell have you been?” He asked as he placed both of his hands over your shoulders and inspected your face thoroughly, trying to check if you’d been hurt.

Yeah, it could have been hell, you thought. 

“We should talk.” 

“I was so worried, we all were, you shouldn’t have left like that!” Remus responded, completely ignoring your words and pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. Remus was scared you would push him away, he was terrified it was the last hug he gave you so he squeezed. 

“I thought I had to,” you said honestly. “You like Sirius.” 

Remus pulled back, “Starshine, I don’t know how you got that idea into your head but–”  

“It wasn’t a question.” 

“Would you let me speak?! I’m telling you, that’s ridiculous, not because I like boys does it mean–” 

“Remus,” you said a little more sternly. “You don’t have to lie to me.” 

“Why aren’t you bIoody listening?” He repeated, exasperated, you saw the flash of gold in his eyes. Even then, you thought it was charming. “It’s ridiculous that you think I would–” 

“I don’t blame you, I like him too.” 

“For Godric’s sake! I said I don’t–” 

“I saw you that night, with the coat,” you rushed out before he had time to protest again.  

Remus’ frown deepened. The night with the coat? He wondered, and then the images came to him, and he paled. “Whatever you thought you heard–” 

“You jerking off to my boyfriend’s name, you mean?” You asked with a knowing smile. Remus was utterly dumbfounded, you weren’t half as pissed as he expected you to be. Heck, you seemed diverted. 

“Is this funny to you?” Remus asked, face cold and tears welling up in his eyes. 

You instantly felt terrible for the way in which you’d said it. “NO! No, of course not,” you said and took a deep breath. “I was–” you bit your lip. “When I found out I was shocked– and pissed, because I hadn’t seen it before, because it was obvious that Sirius and I being together was hurting you and–” 

“It is not hurting me!” Remus defended. “You and Sirius are meant for each other and–” 

“So are you and him,” you said more calmly. “Perhaps more than me and him…” 

“That’s bullshit, he loves you, you know that.” 

You smiled again, that knowing sort of smile Remus couldn’t quite place, “He loves you too, you know?” 

Remus clenched his jaw as a frustrated exhale escaped through his nose. How ever could he respond to that? He hated this, he hated having caused you so much pain, because he was stupid and horny due to the moon and because he quite literally couldn’t keep it in his pants and because he was an idiot and–

“Remus,” you called his attention, driving him away from his destructive thoughts. “Do you like me too?” He turned to you even more shocked at your question. His face was one of anguish and despair as if he didn’t know what to say, or how to respond to such a question. “Be honest,” you added, calmly.

Remus shook his head with tears in his eyes. 

“Would you take veritaserum and deny it again?” 

“Are my words not enough?” 

“You didn’t even speak. And they weren’t enough for you when I told you I wasn’t afraid, nor were they when I told you I thought you were beautiful.” 

Remus swallowed, “Even if I did–” You were biting your lips to stop yourself from smiling. “Even if I did, it wouldn’t matter, would it? You need to go to Sirius and–” 

“Remus, I like you too,” you blurted out. “I don’t how I was so stupid not to realise it before. I mean the potion at the Slug Party, the way I cuddle with you, the way I’m always happy when you’re around. The way you make me laugh, the way you smell.” You had to take in some air from how fast you were speaking. “I was blind, completely blinded by Sirius to see–” 

“Do you not like Sirius anymore?” Remus asked, almost reproachingly. 

You laughed, “Of course, I like him still! He might be the love of my life, but we’re all a bunch of idiots, that’s what we are!”  

“Little Witch, I don’t think I’m following,” he responded confused. 

You took his head in both of his hands. “You beautiful, self-sacrificing idiot,” you said then. Remus wanted to retort with you being much worse than he was, but he wanted to see what the hell you meant by that more. You licked your lips, enticed to kiss his own, but you knew you had to talk to Sirius about it first. “Don’t you see? We’re all pinning for each other, mutually.” 

He didn’t speak, so you took that as a sign to continue, “You like me and Sirius, I like you and Sirius and Sirius liked the both of us.” 

“You’re saying–” he stammered, “you’re saying you want us all to be together?” 

“Well, wouldn’t that be the only natural solution? We were already together all the time–” 

“I don’t know about natural,” he muttered, you smiled. 

“The only difference would be that you could act on your desires and Sirius could act on his. Wouldn’t that make you happy?” 

“Would it make you happy?” 

“It would make me ecstatic!” you replied with a smile. “And I’m sure Sirius even more so, he’s been pining for you while being with me, he must have felt terribly guilty about it, but he never had to be. Besides, it’s not like it’s the first time three people have fallen in love with each other.” 

“It’s a love triangle,” Remus huffed a laugh as he rolled his eyes. 

“But none of us has to be alone in the end,” you added with a smile, as you bit your lip, and then pressed a kiss to his cheek, right next to the spot your thumb had been resting on. Remus’ smile only widened and he leaned in to kiss you, but you turned your head before your lips clashed with each other.

You didn’t miss the hurt look on his handsome features and you pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry,” you said, voice muffled by his shirt. “You don’t know how much I wanted you to do that, but we need to speak to Sirius first. No more lies, we all need to be honest with each other this time around.” 

“Sirius is gonna flip out when we tell him,” he muttered into your head. “He’s been sulking over being an idiot for falling in love with me since you left.”

“Then we’re both idiots,” you said with a small smile, still hugging Remus tightly. “Did you guys figure each other out?” 

Remus pulled back with a sceptical look. “Did you really think if you left, we were just going to start dating?” 

“You didn’t?” 

“Of course not!” he replied. “We were both upset, you left with no wand and alone! Nobody knew where you’d gone to, let alone if you were safe wherever you’d been and you were breaking apart because of Christmas. Sirius was drowning in guilt and to be honest, I wasn’t much better. We would have never been happy if we thought you were upset.” 

You bit your lip, looking down and thinking how much quicker things would have gotten solved if instead of running away, you had faced the issue head-on. If instead of leaving, you had brought Remus to the kitchen and forced him to talk things through with the two of you. 

Of course, you didn’t know he liked you too then, but perhaps you wouldn’t have had to go through Gringotts alone if you had. You wouldn’t have gone through those lonely, almost desolate days in which you drowned yourself in alcohol. 

“I guess it makes sense,” you said with a sad smile. “I couldn’t have continued on with Sirius if I thought it was hurting you either. Of that I was certain.” 

“As if you being with Sirius hadn’t already broken half of the school’s hearts,” Remus huffed.

You looked up at him with a smile, “Perhaps, but none of those hearts belong to my best friend.” 

You saw the faintest blush creep up on Remus’s cheeks, you were again tempted to pull him into a kiss, and you willed yourself to stop. Not until we talk to Sirius about it. 

“We should go to him,” you said with resolution. “Where is he?” you asked as you leaned down and picked the map up from the floor. 

“I was looking for you,” Remus admitted, as he leaned closer to you, helping you open the map as you held it. “I wanted to find you as soon as you got to the castle so both Sirius and I could ambush you. I was going to try and convince you I didn’t like him.” 

“More lies?” 

“You told Sirius you didn’t like him anymore,” he sassed back. He didn’t have to say it, you knew how hypocritical it was.

You huffed, “Maybe being in love really does make you more stupid,” you mumbled as your eyes scanned through the map. You saw Peter in the broom closet again, which made you assume he was “greeting” Annie Doxon. James was not at the castle, so he was probably still with Lily back at Hogsmeade. Some of the teachers were in their classrooms, the prefects were helping some of the first years out, or so you assumed since most of them were walking at rather random places inside the castle. The kind of which only the newer kids ended up in. 

“There,” Remus said. “Gryffindor tower, he must be in our room.” 

“Looks like we’ve set direction, captain,” you said with a smile. 

Remus smiled, but he faltered just seconds later. “Wait! How are you?” 

“Very excited about talking to Sirius.” 

“I don’t mean that,” Remus reproached. “I mean about Christmas.” 

You swallowed, and you took a deep breath. “I’m better,” you said honestly. “Well, at least I think I am. Kind of? Something happened in Diagon, I’ll tell both of you all about it after we’ve sorted this out, does that sound fair? One problem at a time…” 

“Will you actually talk about it?”  

You nodded, “I think I avoided the subject so much that it came crashing onto me like a full-speed train, but perhaps I needed that.” 

Remus gave you a weary look, clearly preoccupied with what you’d said, but he was certain he wouldn’t get anything else from you if you didn’t have that “Sirius talk” first. He nodded, still biting his lip as he placed a hand behind your shoulders and pushed you right in front of him, towards Gryffindor Tower. 

It was almost as if going through that first time you met him, when he took you to the passages so you didn’t get busted for being out late. You smiled as you walked, and at some point pulled out Nina’s wand to get some more light out. 

“Lumos,” you whispered. The light was blinding enough to illuminate the entire place before you managed to dim it. 

“What the– you bought a new wand?” Remus asked. 

You turned to him and showed him Nina’s. “Olivander refused to sell one to me, he said this one was meant to be mine.” 

“It’s…” he hesitated, he wasn’t sure he wanted to say her name. Every time they mentioned it you would instantly shut them out and become distant, and last time he suggested you use her wand, you were pretty clear when you told him why you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to remember everything that had happened every time you made a spell.

“Nina’s,” you finished for him. “Yeah, a lot of stuff happened in Diagon.” 

He placed a reassuring hand behind your neck, he was warm, and you hadn’t quite realised how much you craved his touch until you felt the pads of his fingers brush against your skin. You leaned closer to his hand almost instantly, relaxing into his touch. 

He smiled when he noticed and started playing with the hair at the nape of your neck. Remus had always known you liked being coddled, but at the same time he tried to maintain a decent distance since you were dating Sirius, but the fact that he could give you the type of solace he yearned to give, was somehow comforting to him in itself. Like that time when he found you on the snow, but without feeling terrible for betraying his best friend.

He was soft as he made his touch a little more purposeful, finding the tense muscles and pressing onto them with his warm hand, it was delightful, to say the least. “Is that okay?” he asked hesitantly. 

“It’s perfect,” you said honestly. “I knew you were good at petting, I mean you were brilliant with Vixen but –yeah there– I had no clue you’d be this good with humans.” 

Remus laughed at your praise to hide his blush, not that you were looking at him, your gaze was still focused ahead of you and you were carefully counting the turns, not to get lost. It was something you did often when you were inside the passages, and Remus thought the way you muttered 2 left, 1 right, straight, etc. was adorable. 

“I’ve got my hidden talents. Really good with my hands,” he replied with a bit of a smirk. “I’ll show them to you one day.” 

“Godric, Remus!” you said as you turned to him with a shocked scoff. “Who would have thought shy old Moony could be such a flirt?” 

“Only when it matters,” he said with a smile and then squeezed both his fingers onto a knot in your neck and you almost moaned. “I wasn’t lying.” 

“Show off!” you said as you rolled your eyes and swatted him playfully on the chest. This is nice, you thought. You missed being able to interact with them so casually. It was like you’d been walking on needles for too long, and suddenly you were taken to a soft meadow.

By the time you were close to the exit on the passage, you unfolded James’ cloak again, and placed it around yourself, that way you could follow Remus all the way to his room without being spotted. 

“Stand close,” he said.

You refrained from teasing him over it, deciding you’d tease him mercilessly once Sirius was in on the discovery. Remus walked inside the common room, greeted some of your classmates with a simple wave, and continued walking towards his room. The path you already knew so well, you could follow in almost complete darkness. Remus was about to open the door before he turned, looking over his shoulder before muttering, “Should I go in first or–” 

You disillusioned yourself and passed the cloak over his head once you made sure there was nobody else in the hall. “I’ll go in first. I should probably apologise to him,” you responded. Remus nodded. “Give me five minutes and then come inside.” 

You walked in, Sirius was sitting on Remus’ bed, head down and staring at his hands as he picked on his nails and bobbed his leg up and down. He didn’t look up when he heard the door, he seemed to be lost in thought. You saw a clear tear fall over his hand, and he was quick to wipe it out with his thumb.

“Puppy?” you asked as you deactivated the charm. 

He sprung from the bed in a second, his eyes were red-rimmed and he looked as bad, if not worse, than when you left him crying in James’ kitchen. “Starshine?” he asked, as he spotted you, as if he didn’t believe his eyes. And just like Remus had done, he went straight to wrap his arms around you and push you to him. “I thought I’d have to go look for you as soon as you got here. Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” you said as you hugged him back, tightening your arms around him. “I’m so sorry,” you said then, thinking of how sad he was and how much you’d hurt him. Thinking of the moment when he’d begged you to be selfish for him and instead of complying, you’d lied and told him you didn’t love him. “I lied, I do love you! Don’t ever doubt that.” 

He pulled back, looking at you as confused as Remus had been earlier, more so when he was the tears pricking your eyes, “Starshine, what are you talking about? I’m the one that fucked up, I’m the one that–” 

“You asked me to be selfish for you, you told me to stop being the hero and I ignored your pleas, I only succeeded in making all of us miserable and–” 

“But it was I the one who fell in love with his best friend while dating you, It was I the one that… I should be on my knees beginning for forgiveness.” 

“No!” you said then. “There’s nothing to forgive! I was the idiot for leaving, not you!” 

“What?” Sirius asked, even more confused, and terrified that the inch of hope you’d created wasn’t real… What if he was dreaming of you again?

“I talked to Remus,” you said then. 

“Wait, you did? Are you convinced he's not into me, then?” 

“Godric, no! He definitely likes you.” 

“So then… why are you– you don’t seem angry about it.” 

“Yeah,” you choked a laugh, cheeks wet with some tears still, but stretching into a smile. “You see there’s one thing I hadn’t realised, one thing that was the key to solving this puzzle we’ve been dancing around for months, and I wish I hadn’t been as oblivious to it, we would have spared the three of us a heartache.” 

Sirius looked at you as you rambled, not sure he understood what you were going on about. It was like you discussing muggle books with Remus that he hadn’t read, he understood the words, but other than that it was like you were speaking a different language. 

“And I’ve always said I’ve been so good at reading people, I was embarrassingly stupid in interpreting my own feelings, to our feelings, that I allowed myself to wallow in my own self pity, and in my own little hole of darkness, too obscure to see the bigger picture and–” 

“Étoile, you’re rambling.” 

You shot your mouth and looked at him with an owlish gaze, you took a deep breath, thinking of how to break it up to him. “Sirius, when you think of me kissing anyone but you, what do you feel?” 

“Anyone but me?”  

“Imagine me kissing Peter.”

Sirius couldn’t quite hold back the sombering of his gaze. You had analysed everything that had happened since you met them, and you had a pretty good idea of what you were about to do, if things went awry though, you weren’t sure you’d be able to withstand the heartache that would ensue. 

“Why do you–” 

“What if it was James? Alex? Tom?” you pressed. Sirius gave you a sorrowful look now. Were you trying to tell him how upset you’d felt over the fact that he liked Remus? It was certainly working.

“Starshine, I–” 

“What if it was Marlene?” His expression was still dull, although rather curious, “Beth? Sybil? Evan?” 

He cringed at the last one, “I think I get what you–” 

“What about me kissing Remus?” His expression changed, you didn’t need to prickle into his mind to know what he was thinking. Although you had been tempted to try legilimency, deep down you knew it would be unfair. “I’ve done it before, remember? At Marlene’s party near the beginning of the year?” 

Sirius remembered it. Of course, he did, there was no way in hell he didn’t, you had been sitting on his lap while you made out with his best friend. That day he thought that might have been the hottest thing to ever happen in his life, but he assumed it was about seeing you kiss, and imagining himself in Remus’ place, rather than seeing the both of you kissing each other. He gulped. 

“Sirius, how would you feel if I kissed him?” 

He didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t tell the truth, could he? Wouldn’t that upset you further? Make you feel like the entire relationship had been a lie?

“I mean–” he stuttered, “It would–”

“Sirius,” you said softly as you pressed your hand to his cheek. “I want you to be honest, above everything else. Does that sound fair?” He didn’t respond, he only gave you a pleading look. “We’ve lied to each other and ourselves enough.” 

That was like an arrow straight to the heart. Cupid, you traitorous beast, how could you do this to us? he thought as he tried to find his words again. His tongue felt stale inside his mouth, his lips were shut tight like a statue’s, it was as if he couldn’t speak, even if he wanted to.

“Would it upset you?” 

“No,” he mumbled, so low it was almost inaudible. “It wouldn’t.” 

You nodded, and then leaned your head to the side, searching for his downcast eyes before you said, “It wouldn’t upset me either… I mean, it wouldn’t upset me to see you kissing Remus.” 

“What do you mean–” 

“Remember that night I took a picture of the two of you cuddling each other? I always found it adorable.” 

“I was figuring out I liked him back then…” Sirius mumbled, and you smiled.

“Well, I was never jealous. I could never be jealous of Moony,” you explained. “The fact that he liked you and you liked him was not the reason I left.” 

“Then why–”

“Cause I thought I was causing the both of you pain by being in the middle, the obstacle that prevented the two of you from–” 

“You could NEVER be an obstacle!” he rushed out. 

“I know,” you reassured with a smile. “Do you want to know what the last piece of the puzzle was?” Sirius nodded, and you smiled. “Turns out Moony dear, did not only have a crush on you.” Sirius frowned at that, about to ask what you meant but you beat him to it. “He likes me too. He liked the both of us, from the very start.” 

“Moony what?!?” He asked, shocked. 

“And really, we should have seen it sooner, I mean Remus is good at keeping his secrets, but Moony with Padfoot and Vixen? He’s absolute trash at it, it was as obvious as a Sytherin trying to pass as a Gryffindor. We should have known!” 

“So you’re saying that…” 

“WE’RE ALL INTO EACH OTHER!”

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Well, what just happened?

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