#Melissa Ephesian

[leiascully]

X-Files OctoberFicFest Day 16: The Field Where I Died

Cut for canon abuse/murder/child death

Scully didn’t believe in past lives or hypnosis or destiny. She hoped that Melissa Riedal-Ephesian hadn’t either—there was no timeline in which she deserved the fate she had drawn. Scully felt none of the echoes Mulder claimed to sense when she looked at Melissa or the Seven Stars compound or the photographs he’d found. The resemblance was slightly uncanny, but the photograph was blurry. The imagination enhanced the line of the jaw, the slope of the nose into something recognizable.

If they were all entangled, she felt sorry for the woman. Mulder’s mesmerized recitation had relegated Scully firmly to the best supporting actress role: sergeant, first mate, partner. Melissa, as Mulder’s true love, faced tragedy after tragedy, just as she had in this life. Samantha too seemed doomed to suffer in these storylines. Scully couldn’t countenance that. Surely their souls deserved peace in some eras.

Besides, if past lives were real, Melissa Riedal wasn’t the Melissa her soul was tethered to. There wasn’t a timeline in which Mulder could let go of his sister, and that was just as true for her.

Mulder accepted the theory of Melissa’s incarnations with an easy grace despite Melissa’s own skepticism. Whether his memories had been drawn out of the deep well of his soul or fabricated by his vivid imagination, Scully couldn’t say and Melissa refused to consider. He believed the narrative that they’d been in love, when they’d been Sarah Kavanaugh and Sullivan Biddle. He believed she had been his soul mate. Soul mates couldn’t be relegated to the past tense, to past lives. Soul mates were eternal.

And if she’d thought, from time to time, that there might be glints of more between herself and Mulder, perhaps she’d been mistaken. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d confused friendship for something more. Never the bride, or even the bridesmaid—she might be a right hand, but her left remained unadorned.

What she and Mulder had was deep and meaningful. It was trust. It was an absolute faith in each other despite their many points of disagreement. It didn’t have to be romantic to be love. Would it have changed the way they looked at each other, the depth of their bond in this life? She wasn’t sure. Her connection with Mulder was unique in her experience. She couldn’t imagine feeling any differently about him, for better or for worse.

She felt petty, spending any time at all thinking about past lives when there were present lives at stake. Children’s lives, women’s lives: a whole community drawn in by a charismatic criminal. They had come for a covenant and been given false promises. The victims were her priority.

In the end, the FBI’s best efforts weren’t good enough. Bureaucracy prevailed. The conflict staggered to its inevitable unhappy conclusion. Melissa died. They all died.

It was been a long and difficult afternoon coordinating the removal of the bodies. At least she’d been spared the need to conduct autopsies: the cause of death was clear enough to be established by local MEs. Mulder hadn’t demanded she conduct an autopsy on Melissa Riedal. She hadn’t had to zip the children into body bags. Still, her body ached and there was a dull throb between her eyes.

She found Mulder in the field, staring out across the ridge, the two tattered photographs in his hands. She took them from him gently. He gazed at her, dazed, as if she were a stranger.

“We’ll have to return these to the local archives for restoration,” she said. “I plan to have copies made for the file, to corroborate your testimony under hypnosis.” She watched him. “I could have copies made for you as well.”

He looked back out over the long grass. “She said she wanted to believe.”

“I know.”

“It made her want to die. She’d already given up.”

“I know.”

Tears rolled down his face. She drew his head down to her shoulder and let him weep for all the lives he couldn’t save. She wished she could cry. Her headache built, but her eyes were dry. She held him, in the field where he believed he’d died, and wondered how many bones rested under the soil, how many souls would be weighed against their own.

[teiasviago]

“I was here. As were you. This is the field where I watched you die.”

“The Field Where I Died,” perhaps more than any episode from the fourth season, is one that fans either loved or hated. Loved because it was, as someone aptly put it, a poetic departure from the norm, or hated for its contradicting the mythology and the vocal fanbase of a yet-to-blossom Mulder and Scully relationship.

Many rank this among the lesser of the show’s efforts, but this reaction is exaggerated. There is some beautiful writing to be found here from James Wong and Glen Morgan, two of the show’s writers who spear-headed the series’ character development department more than once with fan favorites like “Beyond the Sea” and “One Breath.” This particular episode does not serve the same function per se, but maintains a similar emotional momentum as Mulder confronts his past lives and reencounters the soulmate he lost, Kristin Cloke’s Melissa Ephesian, a member of a suicidal religious sect.

One of the strengths of this episode is its memorable acting on the part of Cloke, a talent Morgan and Wong had and would continue to work with on other shows such as Millennium. Though the portrayal of a dissociative identity disorder sufferer is largely exaggerated for spectacle’s sake, Cloke is dynamic and charged in her multiple roles. Without a suspenseful plot for support, her acting manages to drive the episode from start to finish.

There is a distinct lack of an “X-Files” feel right from the get-go, calling into question why Mulder and Scully were dispatched to investigate Ephesian’s cult in the first place. Other inconsistencies have already been noted, namely the impossibility of the Cigarette-Smoking Man living in WWII as a Nazi soldier, and that Melissa was insinuated to be the soulmate of Mulder rather than Scully, a revelation that blatantly opposes the events that unraveled in later seasons.

“The Field Where I Died” is not a great episode, nor is it an ideal representative of the show’s usual motif. It also tends to drag a bit near the end of its second act. This is an episode best recommended to be viewed outside of the series’ over-arching continuity, with enough journeyman acting to keep it fresh and some insightful character moments from Mulder and Scully.

— DWilliams1089’s review on IMDb on September 9th, 2010

[carefulfears]

my thoughts on the field where i died, as promised!

first of all, i just have to say, this episode is so visually stunning. glen morgan/james wong + rob bowman behind the camera is a dream team, and i’m inclined to be a bit more open to the content than i probably would be if it came from the perspective of another writer.

the criticism that i hear the most regarding this episode is that it implies that mulder and scully aren’t soulmates, but i've never interpreted it that way

the field where i died opens on an FBI raid of a cult in tennessee headed by vernon ephesian, where mulder intuitively leads the team to a bunker housing ephesian and his six wives, including melissa riedal-ephesian.

throughout the investigation, FBI focus turns to uncovering the location of the cult's weapons, in a search to find enough evidence to charge ephesian. otherwise, he will be released in 24 hours.

throughout the 24 hour holding period, multiple interrogations of melissa reveal not only the depth of the connection that mulder feels to her, but that she seems to exhibit multiple personalities, each with differing information about ephesian's crimes.

in what is possibly my favorite frame of the series, mulder suggests that these alternate personalities might actually be melissa recalling her past lives, and suggests that she try regression hypnosis, with the goal of revealing where the bunker holding the weapons is

this is where this episode starts to lose people, as both mulder and melissa undergo regression hypnosis, and both claim to recognize each other as their spouse in each previous life

however, as the wikipedia summary points out, the recollected histories all end with the two being separated.

melissa describes watching mulder's death during the civil war, while mulder describes witnessing her being taken away (by CSM?? i'll admit this is a weird one, folks) during WWII, with mulder having the line "we're always taken away."

also a frequent flyer in the past life regression session, is scully, who appears in each of mulder's previous lives, an occurrence he describes as souls coming back "different, but always together, again and again, to learn"

personally, i don't think that mulder and melissa being married in each life, or even the emotional connection that they have to each other, is implying that they're soulmates or supposed to be together.

i think that the repeated theme of mulder and melissa being separated and mulder and scully "coming together" in each life is the more meaningful note from morgan and wong. and more than that, i don't think that any of this matters at all.

if you recall, the goal of the regression hypnosis in the first place was to find the bunker. to locate the weapons, to charge ephesian, and to hold the cult members in custody.

ultimately, the regression doesn't assist in the investigation at all, and a planned FBI search of the grounds finds every member of the group dead in a mass suicide, including melissa.

the stand-out of this episode, however, comes before the revelation of the ending.

"dana, if early in the four years we've been working together, an event occurred that suggested or somebody told you that...we'd been friends together. in other lifetimes. always. wouldn't it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?"

following mulder's regression, the episode pauses. and mulder asks scully (calling her by her first name, i believe for the first time since season one) if having known they were fated to come back together, to always be friends, would have changed things between them.

this is a conversation that is ongoing throughout the series, the question of fate vs. free will, and as the incredible @scullysflannel has written about before, mulder loves free will.

while fated past lives might be the MOTW, might be the supernatural phenomenon that we're focusing on, that doesn't mean that the episode, or mulder, comes out on the side of fate.

fate can't find the bunker. fate doesn't save anyone's life.

frequently, when this debate is brought up, as is scully's involvement in the x-files.

scully was assigned to the x-files, she was positioned there by CSM purposefully, and they both know that. but she has chosen to commit herself to the cause, and specifically to mulder. she sought him out when they were shut down, she describes herself as having "followed" him, and she continuously fights to stay involved in his journey.

this is something that mulder rebels against from time to time, feeling responsible for the things that have happened to her since she became involved in his quest

and feeling that there's more for her than what a life with him offers.

in fight the future, he tells her to leave and go be a doctor. in requiem, he laments "everything that's been taken" from her, including her health and chance at being a mother.

over 15 years later, in nothing lasts forever, he admits to the scenario he envisions, a world where she "left that basement office" and married some brain surgeon, became everyone's boss at the FBI, her family and health and babies intact.

regardless of the underlying level of guilt and responsibility that he always feels when it comes to the losses that scully has suffered

he needs this life to have been her choice, for her autonomy in that decision to have been intact, for a life with him to not have been her irrevocable, and somewhat tragic, fate

and so in the field where i died, shortly after exploring the connections of his past, he looks up at her and asks...if this were all because we're supposed to know each other, would it have been different?

and she tells him, no.

the way that in fight the future she tells him that she'll be a doctor, but her work is with him. the way that in requiem she told him that she won't let him go alone. the way that in nothing lasts forever she told him that she doesn't begrudge him anything, that her "leap of faith forward" is the future she wants with him.

maybe they have been friends in every life that they have ever lived. maybe they are fated to always come back together, to always learn from each other.

but fate doesn't save the day, fate doesn't show you what you need to find.

they choose each other, and more than anything else in this episode, that's what he needed to hear.

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Season Four Master Post

Season four is one of the most beloved seasons of The X-Files, and we had a lot of fun exploring the background characters that helped make it so special!

Check out this thread to see all the characters we got to meet this season!

Herrenvolk (4x01) | X

No one would remember him, and if they did, they would struggle to remember a name they were never told. The memory of his existence would remain occluded by the shadows he lived in.

Home (4x02) | Sheriff Andy Taylor

For protection, his father had said, as he pressed the unfamiliar cold metal into Taylor’s warm hand. To keep your family safe.

To keep your home safe.

He shuts the drawer. He isn’t ready for this reality, not now. Not yet.

Teliko (4x03) | Special Agent Sean Pendrell

With them, it was never something simple. It was a computer chip so fragile he could barely study it. It was a complex string of numbers and letters tracking a smallpox vaccination program for reasons he couldn’t even begin to fathom.

This was what he went to school for.

Unruhe (4x04) | Gerry Schnauz

Gerry knew she needed his help the moment they met. There was a howler inside of her head — a black mass invading her body and mind.

The Field Where I Died (4x05) | Melissa Rydell Ephesian

Melissa struggled with the idea of reincarnation, but dared not show it. And as it turned out, a broken link in the chain of her faith led to more broken links.

When she first saw Vernon hurt a child, the chain shattered.

Sanguinarium (4x06) | Dr. Theresa Shannon

The face on the computer had looked just like Jack, but that had to be impossible. The science of surgery hadn’t come that far. To spread the eyes further apart, change features completely… and besides, she knows him. Knows the person he is…

Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man (4x07) | Albert M. Godwinkle

All Albert M. Godwinkle wants today is to read a halfway decent manuscript that puts a smile on his disgruntled face. Today is not that day.

Tunguska (4x08) | Alex Krycek

If looks could kill, Alex would be a dead man. But he thrives off this, off making Mulder squirm. It’s just so fucking easy.

Terma (4x09) | Senator Albert Sorenson

He was a staunch proponent of holding insubordinate witnesses in contempt when the court was not being respected, and no one, not even a government employee, was immune to that.

Paper Hearts (4x10) | Addie Sparks

The little girl he loves is gone, and she is never coming back.

Just like me.

El Mundo Gira (4x11) | Migrant Worker

At the simple mention of El Chupacabra, the shack erupted in a cacophony of worry, as if merely saying the name might summon the beast.

Leonard Betts (4x12) | Michele Wilkes

Even through the panic she felt screaming through her that nothing about this was okay, she felt a moment of relief wash over her. Maybe it had all been a dream. Maybe her partner hadn’t died while she was at the wheel.

Never Again (4x13) | Ed Jerse

Deadbeat. Loser. Failure.

He’s heard it all, and he has had enough. No one humiliates Ed Jerse anymore. No, not now. Never again.

Memento Mori (4x14) | Kurt Crawford

What is destined for a creature borne of fluid and test tubes, guided by the hands of cruel men?

Kaddish (4x15) | Ariel Luria

Someone else’s hatred had taken her true love away. Just like that, in an instant, like it was nothing. But it was not hatred that led her to the gravesite that stormy night.

Unrequited (4x16) | Special Agent Kent Hill

Hill slides in his earpiece, watching as their eyes lock. His wife would call it eavesdropping, but as he steps closer, tilting his head just right to better hear their hushed voices, Hill simply calls it satisfying a long-standing curiosity.

Tempus Fugit (4x17) | Bartender

The man tried to fluff the pink ball back into shape after presumably squashing it in his pocket. “The woman I came in with— it’s her birthday, and she loves these things. I was wondering if there was any way you could ask someone in the back to put it on a plate and bring it out to her?”

Max (4x18) | Sharon Graffia

Sharon Graffia isn’t a liar. She’d only done what she needed to in order for people to believe her. All she’s ever wanted was someone to believe her.

Synchrony (4x19) | Jason Nichols

Naïveté and a complete lack of understanding of the consequences of their work had been their downfall. But how could they have known?

Small Potatoes (4x20) | Eddie Van Blundht

It didn’t take him long to realize he’d initially misread the situation when he saw them at the clinic. Based on the look Dana Scully shot him when he tried to hold her hand at the airport, he knew he was navigating territory Fox Mulder had yet to conquer.

Zero Sum (4x21) | Billy

He slowly twisted his neck to the right, and was horrified by the sight before him. In the next bed over was David from his class, his face covered in gross red bumps. He looked dead.

Billy didn’t know what else to do. He started crying.

Elegy (4x22) | Lauren Heller

She had an exam in the morning. Her mother’s birthday was the following weekend. She had plans.

Demons (4x23) | Amy Cassandra

As she speaks, the deep wound in her skull throbs, reminding her that that was true, until weeks ago when she’d traded the nightmare of one penetrating drill with the reality of another.

Gesthemane (4x24) | Father McCue

Her faith had come from God, yes… but it had also come from another, less expected source. Perhaps it still did.

Stay tuned for more perspectives coming in Season Five!

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

We spend so much time deliberating and chatting about who to use in a given episode or where certain characters would be best utilized in the series, and we'd love to hear any opinions or predictions you might have! Do you have a favorite minor character? What episodes do you think would be best for our favorite recurring characters? Your feedback is one of the most enjoyable parts of this project (and sometimes hearing other perspectives can help inform the decisions we have to make). - @admiralty-xfd, @fridaysat9, @monikafilefan, and @gaycrouton

[hollywoodumc-harmonytolucalake]

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Friday, March 8th

Ephesians 2:1-10

Written by Melissa Perrigo

#lentendevotional

[wutbju]

Daniel Kenneth Diehl (1940 – 2023) was born in Vinton, Iowa, on January 31, 1940, to Reverend Chester and Alice (Dieken) Diehl.  In 1947 Chester became the pastor of Glenwood Bible Church, and the family moved to Glenwood, Illinois.  As a young boy Danny heard his father talk about God’s gift of salvation, and he put his faith in Jesus Christ.  He spent his childhood helping on his relatives’ farms, picking strawberries in the family garden, and practicing the piano and trumpet.  In his teens, he became the captain of Glenwood’s Youth for Christ Bible quiz team; their championship quiz on the book of Ephesians was held in Torrey-Gray Auditorium and aired on WMBI during Moody’s Founder’s Week. 

Danny attended Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina, graduating with a Bachelor’s Degree in 1963 and a Master’s Degree in 1965.  During his time at the university, he toured the Midwest with a brass ensemble group known as the King’s Karions.  After graduating from college, Danny took a job at U.S. Steel and assisted his father with the music/youth ministries at Beach Community Bible Church in Beach Park, Illinois.  He would often play the trumpet for youth rallies held at nearby churches, and at one of these events, Danny met Nancy Taborsky; they were married on August 9, 1969.

The newly married couple soon realized that God was calling them to a ministry at Indian Hill Bible Church in Ingleside, Illinois, where they spent the next 50 years serving the God they loved.  Pastor Danny led music, played piano and trumpet, conducted choirs, coached Bible quiz teams, worked with the youth ministry and Awana programs, and assisted with the upkeep of the building – all while working in carpentry/maintenance at Zion Benton-Township High School.

Danny also enjoyed woodworking, gardening, sharing tomatoes and cucumbers with friends and neighbors, playing ping pong, watching The Andy Griffith show, and eating at In and Out Burger!

Danny went home to be with his Lord and Savior on January 5, 2023.  He was preceded in death by his wife Nancy, his parents, and his sister Evangeline Willeman.  He is survived by four daughters: Melissa (Scott) Morrison, Jennifer (Jin) Sim, Carrie Diehl, Rebecca (Nathan) Parsons; 8 grandchildren (Collin, Samantha, Lauren, Ella, Oliver, Gretta, Logan, Kensi); his brother-in-law and sister-in-law (Randy and Patty Hough) and 6 nieces and nephews: Linda (Gene) Correa, Larry (Annie) Willeman, Lee (Lucie) Willeman, Lori (John) Stinnett, Emily Hough, and Hannah Hough.

A celebration of life service will be held on Saturday, January 14, 2023, at 3:00pm, at Indian Hill Bible Church, 36133 N. Fairfield Road, Ingleside, IL.  After the service, guests are invited to join the family for dinner in the Fellowship Hall.  In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to Indian Hill Bible Church, AWANA Children's Ministry. 

Thank you for being a blessing in our father's life. We are so grateful to the LORD for his faithful testimony and for the kindness of all of you.

"Well done, good and faithful servant... enter into the joy of your Lord." Matthew 25:21

Arrangements entrusted to Sambrano Funeral & Cremation, Gurnee, IL.  Please sign the guestbook at LauraSambranoFunerals.com; 847-571-7719.

[ibringyouasong89]

I think, if anything, Scully is being half serious and half joking. Half serious because, if started talking the way he usually rants in front of her, TLG, or Skinner, yeah, he’d be committed and it’s scary for both her and him (that they are consciously agreeing to that thought, mentally and emotionally, is “lksjdflksdjfksdjfjsdlfkjds”). I think there’s also the part where Mulder is also being half serious and half joking about that possibility and Scully can meet him at both sides of that, mentally and emotionally. Mulder, as usual, mixes seriousness and vulnerability with humor to deflect, but also to present his vulnerabilities (to Scully) in a non-defensive way...humor softens him. Scully, instinctively, understands that, and so she can quirk a small grin on pursed lips when agreeing with such a statement. And that’s what makes them, and their dynamic, so damn special - despite what CC and those damn writers would try and have us believe, Scully is Mulder’s REAL soulmate; the half that doesn’t complete him (nobody is REALLY incomplete without another person, however romantic and repetitive that particular message society has programmed into us via Hollywood, with their rom-coms and epic love stories, or the music industry or even through marketing), but compliments him and makes him understand himself, and the world, better. She makes him want to BE better and as much as Mulder could’ve gotten swept up by the romantic notion of Melissa Ephesian being a potential soulmate being reincarnated to briefly meet in passing in this life, it’s pretty much a sure thing that it would’ve never worked out and that her ties to him were exactly where they belonged - in the past, in a different life (and even then Scully was dying right there next to him, as his Lieutenant) and that for him to grow and become a stronger individual, and a better version of himself, he had to be with Scully; full stop.  Plus, as anyone else will tell you that is an avid fan of the show, there are a lot of issues with Mulder’s past life regression and the people he names as having contact with throughout those lifetimes, that don’t line up with specific timelines and events. Which, in hindsight, the writers might’ve done on purpose - in the hypnosis session with Dr. Werber - in order to highlight: One, Mulder’s romantic whimsy and the conscious suggestions which could’ve triggered these false past life memories or Two, that Dr. Werber was working for “Them” and was, in some way or another, planting false memories into Mulder’s mind so as to keep him from leaving the game of cloak and dagger that The Consortium was playing with him and his life. Very cat and mouse as usual and hard to prove...but in all honestly, if either theory were to be confirmed to be true, or even both to be correct simultaneously, I would not be surprised. 

lksjdflksdjflksdjfljsdlfkjds

[neopuff]

my favorite x-files episodes (in no particular order)

4x05 - The Field Where I Died

[baronessblixen]

So I just read your Antarctica angsty fic and saw you said you wanted to keep doing more angst. I’ve been craving a The Field Where I Died fic I looked up random angst dialog and came across ‘What are you trying to say?’ Super vague but a place to start! Happy fictober!!!

Thank you so much for the prompt! I hope I made it angsty 😁

Fictober Day 4 | Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2022 | Wc: 1804

Dreams of the Past

The first few times he dreams about Scully, he ignores it. He doesn’t remember what they’re about, is only left with a lingering feeling. It fades quickly every time and makes room for everyday life, for what happens in daylight. Until one night when he dreams of her screaming.

She’s half sitting, half lying on a bed, being tended by strangers while Mulder stands in the doorway, grappled by fear. He watches Scully, still screeching, being told to push! push! but no matter how hard she tries, there’s no baby. There should be a baby, he realizes. Her stomach is protruding, bigger than he ever thought possible. They’re having a baby. His heart swells before it breaks into pieces.

“We’re losing her,” someone says. “What else can we do? What can we do?”

“There’s nothing we can do,” a man says, stepping away from Scully, who is only whimpering in agony now. “She will die.”

“No!” This time it’s Mulder who screams. A moment later, he finds himself in his bed, panting and sweating. Just a dream. It was just a dream. A nightmare. His ears are ringing and he can still see Scully clear as a picture, framed by dim candlelight, trying to birth their child. Mulder wraps his arms around himself, feeling the loss of the child, of his beloved wife. Scully. He reminds himself that it wasn’t real. That all he has to do is pick up the phone and call Scully to hear her voice. He knows she’d call him crazy and for once, she’d be right. Thinking about Scully calms him enough to lie back down. It’s just after 2 am, far too early to stay awake.

Not once since the Ephesian case a couple of weeks ago has he dreamed about Melissa Riedal. Up until now, he hasn’t even thought about her. Instead, Scully has been invading his dreams. He wishes he could remember the rest of them. He wants to know if all of them have been this devastating. Is he losing her in every dream he’s had? In every life they’ve lived? He shudders thinking about it. Closing his eyes, he wills himself to relax. As much as he doesn’t want to relive the moment – losing her – he wants to keep going. He wants to see what else his mind has to offer him. After all, he’s no stranger to pain.

It doesn’t take him long to fall back asleep. Once, as a student, he tried to get into lucid dreaming, hoping it might help him make progress in finding Samantha. Then he met Phoebe and everything went to hell. Including his dreams and the rest of his sanity. It has been years since he’s last tried it and while he’s aware that he’s fast asleep and dreaming, there’s nothing he can do.

He takes in his surroundings, the sparsely decorated apartment, the lack of TV, the metallic drumming of a radio in another room. He walks around, trying to find clues if he – his past self – lives here. There’s an eeriness in the air, alerting him to be careful. He stops in front of a room, the door closed. That’s where the music is coming from, he realizes. It’s an old tune, but he recognizes its melody. This must be the 1930s or 40s. His stomach plummets before he opens the door. His eyes land on her body on the bed, still and pale. Her lips are parted slightly as if she had tried to say something before death took her.

He sits up in bed, gasping for air. Not again. Not Scully. Her face was so devoid of color, of everything that makes her the woman he… but it was her. He knows it was her. He no longer cares that it’s the middle of the night. He needs to see Scully. Needs to know what she’s thinking. He needs to know she’s okay.

It’s just after 4 am when he gets to her apartment. He considers using his key, but he doesn’t want to freak Scully out. No more than him showing up here in the middle of the night will do anyway. He should have called, he thinks, as he gently raps on her door. There’s shuffling on the other side of it before Scully opens the door. He’s never been so happy to see her. Her hair is sleep-ruffled and her pajama crooked, but she’s never looked more beautiful to him.

“Mulder, what time is it?”

“Late. Or early, however you want to look at it.”

“What happened?” She asks stifling a yawn. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay,” he says truthfully, smiling at her. At least physically he is and he doesn’t want to talk about his dreams out here in front of her apartment. “Can I come in? I don’t want to wake your neighbors too.”

“Of course. Come on in.” He follows her inside, taking off his coat and shoes, while she walks into the kitchen.

“Do you want coffee? I think I’m going to make coffee,” she says, yawning again. Mulder watches her, amazed at how normal everything is. She’s moving around her kitchen barefoot, asking him questions that he barely hears. She’s here. She’s alive. She’s fine. He thinks of his first dream, of her dying in childbirth. He couldn’t help her, was helpless. Then, in the second dream, he was too late. Each time he lost her. In this life, right now, nothing is wrong at all.

“Mulder, why are you here?”

“I- I needed to see you.”

“Why? Is it a case?” She rubs her eyes, hiding another yawn behind her hand.

“Have you ever had nightmares that felt so real that you… that you had to make sure they weren’t?”

“Did you have a nightmare?” She asks him. “Was it about Samantha?”

“Why do you think- no, it wasn’t about Samantha.”

“Let’s sit down, Mulder,” Scully says with a sigh. “I’m still trying to wake up. Tell me what happened?”

“I’ve been having dreams,” Mulder begins, glancing at her. “Ever since the Ephesian case. About… I think I’ve been dreaming about my past lives.”

“Melissa Riedal,” Scully says. “You were dreaming about her.”

“No,” he says. “I’ve been dreaming about… you.”

“You said it was nightmares,” she says, her voice gentle. She puts a hand over his and he stares at it for a moment, relishing her touch. “Do you want to talk about them?” When he lifts his eyes to hers, he can see that she wants to know. But she doesn’t know what he’s seen.

“Mulder, they’re just dreams,” she assures him. “They’re not real. No matter what happened in them, it’s not real.”

“But that’s just it, Scully. It was real.”

“What are you trying to say?” She squeezes his hand.

“I believe that they weren’t just dreams. I think that- whatever my relationship with Melissa Riedal was in this life or any other, pales in comparison to what we have in every life. But that’s not why I’m here, or why I had to see you.”

“What did you see?”

“You didn’t have any dreams?” Mulder asks instead, not wanting to put her through what he’s experienced. Her screaming. The pain she must have endured.

“No,” she says softly, giving him a smile. “I can take it, Mulder. Just tell me. You were spooked enough to come here in the middle of the night.”

“Well, I am Spooky Mulder, aren’t I?”

“Mulder,” she warns. “I want to know.” He nods, preparing himself. He puts his other hand over their entwined ones, needing to feel her warmth and strength.

“Tonight was the first time that I woke up from my dreams. Maybe we were happy in all those other lives,” he says. “In my first dream, you were… you were in labor. You were screaming. You were screaming so much, Scully. There was blood, but… there was no baby. They couldn’t get to the baby. The doctor – I think it was the doctor – said you were going to die.” He hears her gasp and he looks at her. There are tears in her eyes and when one falls, he wipes it away.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have-”

“Mulder, I’m not crying for me. Or whatever version of me that you think you saw in your dream. I’m crying because you had to experience that. What was the second dream?”

“I don’t- I don’t really know. I was in an apartment. I think it was the 1940s. Maybe it was wartime. I don’t know. I found you- there was a room and you were in it, but you were, um. You were…” He can no longer stop his own tears from falling. He hears Scully whisper something and then she wraps her arms around him, holding him close. His tears land on her shoulder where her pajama top has slipped out of position. She cradles his head, her fingers in his hair.

“It’s okay,” she whispers with a kiss to his temple. “It was just a dream, okay? I’m here, aren’t I?” He nods against her shoulder, taking in her sleepy scent, her Scullyness. She’s real. This is not a dream and he’s holding her. But what if this life ends like all the others? With him unable to save her? With him always being too late?

“Your nightmares are not reality. We don’t know what the future will bring, but I’m here, right? Look at me.” He lifts her head and they’re close together. Her face is devoid of make-up, making her look impossibly young. He can see her beauty mark that she always covers up. But he knows her secret. He touches it softly, letting his finger drift lower to her lips. She lets him touch her, watching his every move.

“You see? I’m real.”

“You shouldn’t cover this up, Scully. You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she says. “Are you feeling better now?” He thinks about it for a moment and then he nods.

“Good. Do you think you can sleep some more?” She asks and he tenses. “I’m not sending you home. You can stay here, but I’m just so tired,” she admits with a shy smile.

“You sleep,” he says.

“What about you?” She yawns and gets comfortable right there with him on the couch, snuggling into his side.

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“Just another hour or so,” she says. “If you have another nightmare,” she says, turning to give him a sleepy look. “You can wake me.”

He knows he won’t sleep, but he nods anyway.

“Sweet dreams, Scully.” She smiles at him before she closes her eyes. Mulder holds her in his arms, content to feel her solid against her. He doesn’t need to dream when she’s right here with him.

[randomfoggytiger]

The X-Files: Mythology and the 'Melissa's

While doing (very light) research for another meta post, I came across an interesting bit of etymology: the name 'Melissa' "...comes from the Greek word μέλισσα (mélissa), "bee", which in turn comes from μέλι (meli), "honey"", and ties directly into early Greek mythology.

According to the early stories, the child Zeus was hidden by his murderous father in the cave of a king-priest, nurtured and fed by his two daughters-- Almatheia (goat) and Melissa (bee)-- with milk and honey respectively. Melissa was later anointed as a priestess by her father; and went on to teach the secrets of honey collecting to other gods and mortals. Her name is often passed down to other infamous feminine mythological figures in her honor (e.g. Demeter and Persephone; and Daphne, an oracle of Mount Parnassos.)

This interpretation of the myth particularly fits Melissa Scully, priestess-- so to speak-- and vessel of enlightenment for the Scully family. Not only was she the voice of her younger sister in One Breath (posts here, here, and here), but she was also the guardian of Mulder's "aura" in The Blessing Way (post here.)

However, there is also another twist to the Melissa legend-- namely, that there were many melissae. Zeus was either protected and nurtured by a future priestess or he was shielded by a horde of nymphs who kept him alive through the same means:

Bees seem to have been the symbol of nymphs, whence they themselves are sometimes called Melissae, and are sometimes said to have been metamorphosed into bees. Hence also nymphs in the form of bees are said to have guided the colonists that went to Ephesus.... In this case, the nymphs serve as worshipers of a greater god; and are tied directly to Ephesus, where the name Ephesian derives.

Melissa, then, can transform intentions: from individual, priestly aid to collective assistance.... or servitude, if one factors in Melissa Ephesian, Ephesian's disciple in the Temple of Seven Stars.

CONCLUSION

Thought this was interesting, and had to share!

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[randomfoggytiger]

Maybe if they had prioritized the episode differently, too.

Scully would be gone most of the episode, on fire to stop Ephesian's diabolical plan; because her faith is a part of her and she despises those that weaponize it.

Mulder would be adrift without her rationality, stepping into muddied hypnosis waters with Melissa, her personalities, and imperfect channeling.

The episode would never confirm the past lives, only having Mulder recall echoes with imperfect clarity. No archive deep dive because there's not enough time to double check-- only chaos and death.

Scully would struggle with failure, nailing herself to her own cross; and Mulder would struggle with having the truth ripped from his hands again. The episode would end as a loss to them both without having to change much at all.

i wish the field where i died was a two parter because ... it needed more. (i know most of you probably think i'm crazy lol) i want more of ~scully's journey in this episode that isn't dependent on mulder's. i think her telling mulder she ~doesn't believe he feels responsible for those lives or melissa riedel, he's only responsible to himself~ was harsh (and just not true of what she & we know of mulder). and part of what i want just a little bit more about is her aversion to the past life regressions — the pain they cause. she's listened to mulder's regression about her sister. she tried once to learn about her abduction and couldn't go through with it. it isn't that she doesn't believe, but another case of she's afraid to believe. shes afraid of what she/they'll learn. she's such a ~sometimes it's better not to know~ and leave it in god's hands. and i LOVE when her logic really is pretty damn sound — why ephysian a sociopath for believing in a past life, but mulder isn't? why is his right & real? (which ... does this line of thinking have a base in religion for her too?)

i always want to see more of scully's religious faith in the religious cults episodes (i understand that's probably an unpopular opinion but i find scully's faith interesting & important and it's something i personally don't understand)

[lifewithaview]

The X Files (1993-2018)The Field Where I Died

When authorities receive a telephone tip from someone named Sydney, the FBI and ATF stage a raid at Temple of the Seven Stars, a religious cult the anonymous caller says is abusing children and has a cache of firearms. Mulder feels that he's been there before and has a powerful sense of deja vu. They arrest the cult leader Vernon Ephesian and several of his followers including one of his wives, Melissa Rydell Ephesian. They don't find the arms cache however and Assistant Director Skinner thinks they have less than a day to get some hard evidence or they will all be released. Melissa seems to be suffering from multiple personality disorder and has a personality known as Sydney, the person who made the call. In fact she has several personalities including a Southern belle who tells Mulder they were there for a Civil War battle. Mulder thinks she's recounting a past life.

[truthsaved-a]

mulder falls  ‘ in love ’  very easily.   i thought there was a term for this kind of behavior but unfortunately google didn’t reveal much other than stockholm or hero complex but it’s not really those.  this love is not really the same kind of love that one might expect such as how he loves scully or any other romantic partner.   but he falls in love with people involved in cases really easily.   or it seems that way to me.   some examples are like in s3 ep8  oubliette,   mulder feels very deeply for lucy householder,   a woman who had been kidnapped when she was a girl and escaped from the kidnapper,  who was now attached to his latest victim by feeling things that the kidnapper was doing to the young girl in the basement.   and even shown signs of suffering the same abuses like having been beaten up or dehydration,  etc.  mulder was extremely caring and gentle towards her the whole case long despite the other officer’s suspicions of her because of her troubled past due to the trauma of being abducted.   she’d been in and out of homes that assist those with addictions.   mulder is almost always the first to believe in nearly whatever the case is about,   so everyone thought it may be mulder just being mulder,   but his theory about lucy appeared to be true.   so,   when lucy ultimately succumbed to her injuries and mulder cried by her side like he’d known her his whole life,   that was truly the first time i’d noticed this.   

then in s4 ep5  the field where i died  with a woman named melissa riedal-ephesian,   mulder felt some kind of connection with her immediately.   so,  both he and the woman underwent regression hypnosis therapy.   they both believed they were married in a past life.   there were pictures of a man and woman who looked distantly like this melissa and mulder.   and since i haven’t watched the episode as recently,   i can’t remember as much but i just feel like mulder fell in love that easily.   

then in the episode i just watched,  s5 ep16  mind’s eye  with a woman named marty glenn,  who was blind,  experiences visions that prove to be from the eyes of the man who was her father.   the man who had also murdered her mother when marty was still in the womb and thus she had barely survived being born.   this marty was witness, through visions to other dealings of her criminal father that included two murders, which she confessed to as it was easier to explain than what was really occurring.   mulder saw through the act immediately and knew she was innocent.   he admits,  at one point,   to liking marty and not wanting to see her go through this.   as well as when he visits her in prison, after she finally murders her father for for all of the things he’s made her see,   mulder holds her hands through the bars and they share a moment.  

idk what all of this says other than mulder evidence to me that he was starved of love when he was younger.   he is so desperate to give of the love that overflows in his heart.   sometimes that shows in this weird way of becoming far too attached to the people that he helps on a case.  

[siamkram]

So what did the Druids know? Bees have long been considered divine messengers from the gods. And until quite recently in the Highlands and Islands, people thought that, when in sleep, trance or death, the soul left the body in the form of a bee – a belief that has clear druidic origins. Druids were trained in the art of the ‘soul-flight,’ by which they could journey to the Otherworld for knowledge from the spirits. They would probably have endorsed the tenet beloved of the mystery schools of the Near East: Si sapis, sis apis! – If you would be wise, be a bee!

Perhaps they also carried forth the tradition of the Great Goddess, for bees, whose lives are organised entirely around a single queen, have been sacred to the Divine Feminine for thousands of years, in ancient civilizations from Babylon to Rome. Bees were revered for their ability to pollinate flowers and crops, increasing the abundance of the Earth. The cultivation of honey was regarded as a sacred charge carried out with great reverence and ritual for it was seen as a precious gift from the Mother herself.

In the classical world, priestesses of many aspects of the Divine Feminine, including Rhea, Cybele and Demeter, were called ‘melissae’, which means ‘honey-bees’, for they served the Goddess as Queen Bee. At the Ephesian temple of Artemis, the melissae were accompanied by castrated priests who represented male bees or drones. Aphrodite’s shrine on Mount Eryx was shaped like a honeycomb, considered by the Pythagoreans to be a symbol of her qualities of love and harmony, because of its perfect hexagonal shape.

Source: http://chalicecentre.net/blog/what-the-druids-knew/

[pjstafford]

Unrest, child hood trauma and past lives. A review of Unruhe and Field Where I die. Blog 32 of The Disability in The World of the X-Files Series.

Following Home, The X- Files goes through a series of episodes which either barely references disability or relies on themes so familiar as to be almost unforgettable.

In Teliko, which is a variation of the earlier better episode Squeeze, a monster/man is killing men through robbing them of their melatonin but, except for a mention of albinoism, there is little discussion that would render this an episode in which disability is a concern.

In Sanguinarium, there is a brief mention of pica which is a disabling condition, but again as a throw away line.

In Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man there is the word paranoid or paranoia thrown around.

This leaves us to discuss Uruhe and Fields Where I Die.

Uruhe which is a German word for unrest is mostly an uninteresting episode precisely because it relies on tropes for its horrors and does not focus enough on the explanation or development of the more interesting paranormal psychic photography. The trope of Scully being in danger is done less well than in previous episodes. The fact that the killer (Jerry)believes in “howlers” which he describes as voices in your head might had been interesting but, again, was not given focus or development. Neither was the killer’s PTSD about whatever unnamed things his father had done to his sister. The interesting aspect, for the purposes of this blog, is the manner in which Jerry presents his illness when confronted with a reminder that he had beaten his father. He says, as a defense, that he was not jailed but hospitalized because he had a “sort of chemical unbalance.” It is interesting that he sees this as being persuasive that he cannot be a suspect in the abduction and murder of young women who, it turns out, he is killing to rid them of the same unrest his sister had before she committed suicide. There is much that could have been unpacked here about the correlation between the chemical imbalance of schizophrenia and the impact of early childhood trauma, but that is not this episode. Instead they relied on the fact that a man previously hospitalized, who seemed polite and well manner, was on a killing spree. Ho-hum, seen it before. Even Scully’s closing remarks in her field report about “to pursue monsters we must understand them” seems familiar. It is a less compelling variation of Mulder’s voice over in Grotesque. The summary for this episode could be that the mentally ill are scary and women often need rescuing.

As all the other episodes mentioned in this specific blog entry are lackadaisical and worn, Fields where I die is beautiful in its cinematography, musical score, and subject matter. Many fans hate it for a variety of reasons including that it strongly suggests that Mulder’s romantic soul mate is not Scully. Disability as a focus is strong in this episiode as an alternate theory. Does Sarah/Melissa have disassociative disorder, popularly called multiple personalities, or has past lifes surfaced to guard her from harm? The storyline seems to come down on past lifes but not definitively which we will discuss later. In this episode disassociative personality disorder is treated respectfully in tone and manner. Perhaps this is because it is an alternate to the more dominant theory in this episode of past lifes and so limited time is spent on it. They quote from the DSMIV and from legal precedent allowing personalities to be considered reliable witnesses. Considering how disassociative disorders are frequently portrayed in television/movies, this medical/scientific focus is refreshing.

An interesting aspect is that Melissa does not believe in her past lives despite belonging to a church which does believe in reincarnation. The charismatic church leader believes in past Iives and resurrection, without knowing about Melissa’s past lives, and believe that he has lived before and, yet, is seen as being insane for those beliefs. Mulder believes that Melissa and him have lived lifes together before, but doesn’t believe the church leader. Scully is given a brilliant line: “And why is it that Vernon Ephesian is, reported by you, a paranoid sociopath because he believes that he lived in Greece a hundred years ago, and you're not, even though you believe you died in that field?” This issue is never fully resolved. The end of the episode is very emotional with Mulder unable to convince Melissa to stay alive in this life and finding her dead in a house near where he had died in a field in a previous life.

This disability specific watch, though, has made me rethink this episode. This blog series has made me very aware that Mulder’s mental health has been brought into question repeatedly. Initially, the question of are people who believe in alien abduction crazy was a central theme of the series. Mulder would say, in relationship to that, “I’m not crazy, Scully.” In season three and four, the show has transcended that question and we the viewer know that, in the X-files universe aliens exist. There are a few episodes, though, that imply that Mulder’s obsessive behavior and life choices might mean he is more on the borderline of mental illness. There will be future episodes and references that seem to imply that he might have mental illness. So now I arrive at this episode with a different awareness and cannot so easily dismiss Scully’s line. It is possible that Mulder past life regression was flawed. Scully, I believe, could make this case and that Mulder was easily fooled by his desire to believe, his empathy for the other, and a mental health lapse in judgement. The line again: And why is it that Vernon Ephesian is, reported by you, a paranoid sociopath because he believes that he lived in Greece a hundred years ago, and you're not, even though you believe you died in that field?

[admiralty-xfd]

I’m very interested in MSR dynamics when a possible Mulder/other hovers (threatens) in the background. Although that’s a recent thing for me ushered in by your excellently conceived and written The Whole Truth. Given how Mulder was, do you think Melissa Ephesian’s survival would have caused as much problems between M and S as Diana’s return did? Is this something you think you would like to write about at length? Or do you have 5 headcanons about TFWID, especially Mulder and soulmates.

Thank you for reading TWT and for the compliment!

I’m too lazy to break this into five headcanons so I’m just gong to give you my entire TFWID headcanon. Here goes.

I actually don’t believe Melissa was a romantic threat to MSR. Mostly because Mulder and Scully weren’t romantic at that point, at least as far as we’d been shown, but also because I believe Mulder was far more enamored with the idea of past lives being real rather than Melissa specifically. I, as well as every other person probably reading this, also refuse to believe he has any other romantic soulmate than Scully, at least in this life. More likely, as the episode portrays, he, and all of us, have many “soulmates” that play different roles to us in different lifetimes.

We all love the romantic aspect of MSR, but I always argue that’s just one facet of their relationship. They are so many things to each other besides romantic. They are friends, confidants, partners, intellectual equals, sources of comfort and support. All of the things. And the idea that they were all of these things to each other in past lives, in my mind, only strengthens their 1997 bond.

My interpretation of this episode is that the people we meet in our lives all come back as our “soulmates,” constantly, in different roles. What Melissa says in her regression (“We have come together in this life, in this time, only to meet in passing”) is key. Mulder’s purpose for meeting her in THIS life is to save all of those people.

Mulder is very receptive to hypnosis, as we already know, so it’s completely possible the past-life regression wouldn’t have worked on a nonbeliever. Out of the (presumably) hundreds of past lives Mulder has lived, in his regression he only goes to two. He and Melissa happened to be lovers in two of those lifetimes, but certainly not in this one (as time will bear out, that particular role in this lifetime is Scully) and who’s to say that was the case in every other lifetime? 

He says during his hypnosis Samantha was his son. The CSM is there, as well. In one life, Scully was his father. In another life, she was his sergeant. In this current life, they are partners, friends (at this point.) But he also says the purpose of these reincarnations is to learn. After he says Scully is dead in the street, he then says: “He[Scully]’s gone on now, waiting for us... the souls come back together, different, but always together... again and again... to learn." Past Scully has gone on to the next lifetime waiting, waiting for him, until they learn what their souls want them to learn.

Fox Mulder is a romantic. Not in the widely accepted definition of the term, as he rarely is with any term, but he feels things. He has a feeling about the bunker. He has a feeling about Melissa from the moment he meets her. He feels that he’s responsible for every life in that temple because of this connection he shares with Melissa, even though Scully doesn’t think he should feel responsible.

Melissa, in response to his theory, tears up the picture of her past life. She doesn’t believe him and it disappoints him, not only because he’s Mulder and the idea of this being possible amazes him, but because he needs her to help him save those lives. 

He's so upset throughout the episode at everyone’s refusal to believe: Skinner, Melissa, the other agents, especially Scully. 

“You saw it, you heard it, why can’t you feel it?”

Their fight in the car is a rare thing to witness, and it still makes me uncomfortable when I watch it. Mulder gets frustrated with Scully frequently, but here he is lashing out. He feels responsible for saving those people and her inability to open her eyes to this possibility is slowing down their progress.

Ultimately he fails to save anyone because no one (including Melissa) believes him. At the end, when he comes across the group of lifeless bodies, he finds Melissa holding the torn picture (a symbol of her lack of belief) and cries because he failed. He’s Mulder, he believed where no one else did, and because they didn’t believe, he failed. 

Some people think he’s crying because of Melissa specifically, because he “loves” her, but how could he? He doesn’t even know her. It’s like in Oubliette when he cried over Lucy, he’s crying because of what she represents: his failure. Like he believes he failed Melissa and everyone else. Like he believes he failed Samantha.

In any event, the scene where he questions Scully about all of it, she tells him none of it even matters because “[she] wouldn’t change a day.” They are exactly where they’re meant to be. Scully isn’t one to easily believe all of this past lives nonsense, but she does believe in Mulder. At the end of the day, that’s what matters to them both.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I don’t think Mulder had romantic feelings for Melissa at all. I think he had romantic feelings for the idea of past lives, though.

Thanks for the ask! :)