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medea10 · 6 months ago

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Medea Rants - CARTOONS!!!

I’m taking a break from writing up anime reviews to talk about some news that dropped a few weeks ago that has my mind swarming with so much thought.

A few weeks ago, I’m scrolling through Twitter…I’m still not calling it by its other name and randomly came across this news about a new television channel coming. MeTV Toons. The minute-long video teased all of the old cartoons I used to love watching and still love watching.

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The Flintstones, Scooby Doo, Top Cat, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Underdog, Wally Gator, 2 Stupid Dogs, Johnny Quest, The Jetsons, Yogi Bear, Magilla Gorilla, Speed Racer, Freakazoid, Snagglepuss, Looney Tunes, Popeye, Droopy, Betty Boop, and so, so, so, so, SOOOOOO MUCH MORE!

HISTORY ABOUT METV: Depending on where you live, you might get a combination of different channels in your cable package. MeTV, Antenna TV, Cozi, Catchy Comedy, Get TV, Rewind, etc. Ever since their existence I’ve been drawn to both MeTV and Catchy Comedy (formerly known as Decades). MeTV has been known to play programming ranging from the 1940s to the 1980s give-or-take. It’s like what TV Land used to be like before becoming the MASH and Raymond network. Me personally, I’m usually watching The Three Stooges or All in the Family.

In recent years, MeTV has decided to play cartoons. Not a lot, but enough to gain attention. Ever since they started this, every Saturday morning I’m up watching the cartoons. Because I’m still used to the Saturday morning cartoon setup before it died. Mostly, this consists of Popeye, Tom & Jerry, Woody Woodpecker, and Bugs Bunny/Looney Tunes. On Sundays, they play The Flintstones and Jetsons. During the week, they also aired a show called, “Toon In With ME”. This was an hour-long program where the hosts would play the short cartoons I just mentioned above. I actually only watch this on rare occasions since it always airs when I’m heading off to work. Believe it or not, this program has been a huge hit. So, it’s no surprise that the hosts announced MeTV Toons on their program.

THE CONCEPT OF A 24/7 CARTOON CHANNEL: Cartoon Network and Boomerang. Y’all remember this, right? Back when Cartoon Network first started, it had all of the old cartoons from back in the day. But then, they started doing their own original programming. And that was okay, because we got Cartoon Planet and Space Ghost Coast to Coast out of the deal. Then we got original programming from the Cartoon, Cartoon era. And that was okay, because we got shows like Courage, Billy and Mandy, Powerpuff Girls, and Dexter out of the deal. But then, all of the older cartoons started disappearing and we get some mediocre cartoons out of the deal. Not okay! But also, we got things like Toonami and Adult Swim. So…I’m stuck here.

That’s when Boomerang came in! And that’s all I can tell you because I never got Boomerang in my cable package. BECAUSE XFINITY SUCKS! Apparently, in the early 2000s, all of those older cartoons I’ve mentioned before migrated to the Boomerang channel. It so would have been nice to watch that. I’m still disgruntled about that whole thing. Time passes and both of these channels are unrecognizable. Fast-forward to the 2010’s, Cartoon Network is playing some garbage called Teen Titans GO and Boomerang mostly plays…I don’t know. I just know it wasn’t the old cartoons. Just rehashes. I only came across it if it was playing in the breakroom at work since we had Dish there. Not going to complain that they were playing Pokemon and it just happened to have Tracey on that day.

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE FROM MY TRACEY OBSESSION HERE! Think again.

Mwahahahaha!

Both channels have become shells of their former selves. And if you want to know the truth, I only watch Cartoon Network for Adult Swim and Toonami. That’s it!

Now that MeTV is doing its own 24/7 cartoon channel, I have so many thoughts in my head. Hopes and dreams, crushing reality thoughts, worry, and so much more. Most of all, I just want to actually see it with my own eyes. I don’t want to relive being 12 years old and seeing my favorite shows plucked off the air and put on a channel that I don’t even get. That’s not cool. I’m too old to be going through emotions I felt at the start of puberty. So, Xfinity! Do a sister a favor and hand over the goods. And MeTV, learn from the past mistakes of Boomerang and Cartoon Network. No original programming! Unless it’s something like Toon in With ME, none of that! Leave that shit to Cartoon Network and Max. And Teen Titans in any capacity must be BANNED! It’s for the greater good.

With that said, here are some scattered thoughts I have with the upcoming MeTV Toons channel.

UNDERDOG: I want to see Underdog. Plain and simple. Not that shitty-ass, bull-shit, pile of Taco Bell toilet leave-behinds movie that Disney made back in 2007. I. WANT. UNDERDOG. The show! Wally Cox saying, “There’s no need to fear, Underdog is here”. THAT! I WANT THAT! I want to see Underdog, Sweet Polly Purebread, Riff Raff, Mooch, Tap-Tap the Chisler, Batty Man, O.J. Squeeze, Rudy Guiliani’s doppleganger Simon Barsinister, Cad, I want to see everyone!

…

I ain’t fucking around here. Put Underdog on and LEAVE IT THERE ON THE SCHEDULE. Don’t be fucking with me and having it on for one day and then I never see it again. PLAY IT!

Sorry to get so postal here. But Underdog is my all-time favorite older cartoon. And as you can see by my collection of goodies here, I am a fan.

TIME-STAMP: Seeing all of these old cartoons finally getting a home, you have to ask what’s the cut off of how old the cartoon must be? I seriously would have been fine with them cutting things off at 1989. But then I see surprising entries like 2 Stupid Dogs, Freakazoid, and the cartoon series based off the movie that was based off the comic, The Mask. Wow, that certainly takes me back. Okay, perfect! All of the cartoons played here don’t go past the millennium threshold. This, I can live with. But then…

Xiaolin Showdown too?! Okay, this one was obviously not made in the 90s as it ran on KidsWB from 2003 to 2006. I’m a little excited as it does make me optimistic for more KidsWB programs. But it does make me a little suspicious seeing this one red herring. Nothing against the show at all, I just don’t trust any program after 1999 when you’re seeing the line-up I’m seeing. If it were me, the cut-off time should be this.

This is Christopher Walken dancing in the Fatboy Slim video Weapon of Choice. When this came out should be the cut-off point for any cartoon made to be put on this channel. With Xiaolin Showdown being the exception.

MOVIES: A good idea that Cartoon Network used to do on Saturday nights was play movies. Believe it or not, there are good cartoon movies that were made by people not affiliated with the Disney corporation. Why not do so here? A lot of Don Bluth’s movies used to play like An American Tail, Thumbalina, and Secret of NIHM used to play. Let’s do it here! How about some trippy-ass 60s and 70s movies like Gay Pur-ree and Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure?! A Boy Named Charlie Brown! Yes, do it! MeTV plays that one and Snoopy Come Home during Christmas time, this would be perfect. Hell, add the other two Charlie Brown movies here too. The Chipmunk Adventure! Yes, please!

A lot of the cartoons already on the docket for MeTV Toons have movies. The Jetsons have their own movie. Just stop before you see The Jetsons with the WWE. Tom and Jerry had a movie come out in the 90s. It was weird, but it was at least original. Just stop before you see Tom and Jerry crashing movie classics. Scooby Doo has a plethora of movies. I know the Boo Brothers and the Ghoul School movie has Scrappy Doo, but those were still solid features. Just stop when you see any movie that aired after Y2K. The Flintstones had many that have been made between the 60s and the 90s. This includes a musical, a cross-over, a wedding, and even Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm becoming parents. Seeing all the pictures on the MeTV Toons website put up Fred and Bamm-Bamm from the Christmas Carol movie. So, that gives me hope. Again, just don’t play anything made after 2000.

While you’re at it, try and see if you can get the rights to play The Brave Little Toaster. I promised I wouldn’t bring up anything Disney here, but this movie is very much a Disney film and yet, five years later is still not on Disney+. That’s a fucking crime. Somebody needs to play that classic.

ANIME ON METV TOONS: With this announcement, we saw one of the characters prominently featured in the teasers was Speed Racer. That is definitely an anime despite what we all thought back in the day when we first saw it. Should MeTV stop right there and just keep it with Speed Racer? Believe it or not, I say yes. Shocking, yes. There are so many anime series that could be added to MeTV Toons to bring back other kinds of nostalgia. MeTV Toons is playing shows that came from the KidsWB time. What played back then? Pokemon, Cardcaptor Sakura, and Yu-Gi-Oh! There are shows from FOX Kids time too. What was a show that played there? Digimon! And let’s not forget the Toonami classics like Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, Gundam, and Tenchi Muyo. Would love the fuck out of that, but would also feel like it’d be too much and also hard to get as some of the anime companies are hard to negotiate with. Plus, Cartoon Network is actually bringing DBZ and Sailor Moon back.

But if they do put Pokemon on the schedule, I won’t be mad about that.

ADULT PROGRAMMING: I’m not saying to go full-on Adult Swim. Also, no on Squidbillies. I just like this picture. But some adult programming wouldn’t hurt. Excluded would have to be anything owned by Disney/FOX or Paramount. So, as much as I love shows like Daria and The Simpsons, NO! With that said, there are several shows worthy enough to be given a new home. Let’s start with Duckman! No? How about The Critic? If not that, how about Bob and Margaret? Nobody has seen this show for 20 years. Let’s make this happen. How about the short-lived cartoons that aired in the late 90s/early 2000s? The Oblongs, Baby Blues, Mission Hill, and…I hesitate even saying this one, Dilbert. Hesitation because the creator of Dilbert is a bit of a fuck-hole. But the show is okay! Let’s not go too far with adult animation. Fritz the Cat would be too far. And don’t even think about Ren & Stimpy: Adult Party Cartoon. That’s a war crime in and of itself!

CONTROVERSIAL CARTOONS: Make no mistake about it, there are some cartoons that if made today would be cancelled by all kinds of groups. I’m kind of standing in this fork in the road wondering if it should air or not. Obviously the infamous “Banned Eleven” from Looney Tunes should remain that way and for good reason. But…two cartoons do come to mind and why people would find issue with it. First, is Johnny Bravo. You realize that Cartoon Network is doing it’s Checkered Past block and not once did it put Johnny Bravo on there. I think it’s the fact that he’s a womanizer. Like a human Pepe Le Pew! I can see MeTV Toons carrying Johnny Bravo as their parent channel does play Pepe Le Pew cartoons. The other cartoon I’ll mention might not get a warm welcome.

And it’s Batfink! The superhero bat with wings of steel. He’s Batfink! I can’t even begin to tell you how much I loved watching Batfink when it used to air on the short-lived Nickelodeon show, Weinerville. There’s just one itty-bitty, little, tiny thing…okay, it’s a fucking big crater. Batfink’s assistant, Karate. Yeah, that’s a collar-tug. Just look at him. Just listen to him. I can hear every anus clamp shut with this. The good thing about channels like Catchy and MeTV, they do put up disclaimers if they’re about to play something that could be seen as offensive.

HOPES FOR THE LOST MEDIA: I know I have a lot of treasured classics on VHS. Damn shame my old TV/VCR died last year. If you’re wondering how old I am, I’m this old.

I am (this) Disney Black-Diamond logo old. Moving on!

Seeing that this channel is actually bringing The Mask to it’s line-up gives me hope for other pieces of lost media from back in the day. Shows that aren’t on a streaming service, shows that never got a DVD release, and shows you can only find through old VHS copies. From Cartoon Network, there’s Cartoon Planet and all of the cartoons played on O Canada and What A Cartoon Show. From KidsWB, it would be a lot of the short-lived series like Detention, Histeria, and Generation O. And as for FOX Kids, there’s Life With Louie, Peter Pan & the Pirates, and Eek! The Cat.

Hey Medea, aren’t you forgetting the bad side to this? Angela Anaconda ring a bell?

Oh shit. That’s right. We also do run the risk of seeing things like Mega Babies and Angela Anaconda again. I guess this is a take the good with the bad.

AND FINALLY, SHOWS THAT WOULD BE AWESOME TO SEE AGAIN: Yes, what the website has given us has so many twists and surprises. So, I’m going to list off all the cartoons I didn’t see on the teaser and website. Here’s hoping they’ll get another chance to be seen.

The Tick Batman Beyond Time Squad Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law Count Duckula Gerald McBoing-Boing Dudley Do-Right The Banana Splits Bobby’s World Madeline Pee Wee’s Playhouse Camp Candy Static Shock Tennessee Tuxedo Earthworm Jim The Addams Family Hong Kong Phooey The Littles Space Ghost Coast to Coast/Cartoon Planet Life With Louie Alvin and the Chipmunks Sabrina the Animated Series Every property of Charlie Brown and Snoopy (fuck Apple TV+) Gumby Inch High Private Eye The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog/Sonic Underground Commander McBragg

I think I got everything out of my system. Will all of my hopes and wishes come true with the upcoming MeTV Toons. Hell no! But it’ll be nice if one or two of these happen.

#me tv #me tv toons #underdog #the flintstones #the jetsons #space ghost #cartoon network #boomerang #xiaolin showdown #speed racer #Youtube

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