#Maxime Jacobs

[evviejo]

thirteen's era appreciation: 424/?

[pro-crastinate17]

ok so my apple of discord thoughts

"worst version of yourself" is kind of an overstatement bc its less that it makes you worse and more that it takes away the parts that are good, if that makes sense? it doesnt make anything, it just warps and takes from whats already there.

so with jake, he thinks those things about art and being the only one who understands/appreciates it, but hes too kind to act on those thoughts yknow? and the apple took away the kindness that kept him from acting.

with cassandra, shes interested in those practical applications with fatal outcomes, but she would never act on them, again bc of compassion and self control. the apple took that barrier away.

eve and flynn see themselves as above the others bc of their various experiences and powers, but they dont act on it bc humility and caring for their teammates, being able to recognize their skills are necessary. humility specifically in flynns case. again the apple took that away.

my theory is that it did affect ezekiel. it took something away. not sure exactly what, but im thinking something along the lines of kindness again, maybe his care for others - the thing that makes him steal for charity rather than personal gain. the reason it doesnt outwardly affect him is he already hides that part of himself. the others cant see a change, they cant see whats been taken away, bc he hides it so deep down that they cant tell its been stolen.

[smokiedokie]

YEAH I’M SO CHILL LIKE I AM COOLER THAN COOL I’M ICE COLD 🥶🥶🥶

[rippledawn]

Special nods to Jacob Shaffelburg, Alistair Johnston, and Maxime Crépeau who were all worthy of player of the match to me.

Shaffelburg was electric while he was on the pitch, almost everything we did going up the pitch was connected to him somehow.

Johnston was a rock at the back, didn’t put a foot wrong at all this game.

And Crépeau stepped up in that shootout and won the match for us

[a-christmas-carol-from-hr]

Fred: how is your business partner, by the way?

Scrooge: acceptable. Mr. Marley has recently discovered he is agender. He is now using he/it pronouns.

Fred: oh!!!!!! Congratulations!!!

Marley, not looking up from his ledger: gender costs too much money to maintain. I sold it for coin.

[carewyncromwell]

"We've got the right to choose, and There ain't no way we'll lose it! This is our life...this is our song! We'll fight the powers that be -- just Don't pick on our destiny, 'cause You don't know us -- you don't belong!"

~"We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister

x~x~x~x

Albus Dumbledore reached out to many old associates while trying to recruit members for the Order of the Phoenix. After all, however powerful of a wizard he was, he was wise enough to know he wouldn't be able to face off against Voldemort and all of his Death Eaters alone. There were people who could see and hear things he couldn't -- who were part of communities he wasn't -- and, yes, who were younger and healthier than he was. Dumbledore may have put forward a strong affect much of the time, to the extent that he wondered if some of his students saw him as immortal, but that didn't change the fact that he was a very old man and he was painfully aware of it.

There was one old associate, however, who joined the Order of the Phoenix without Dumbledore reaching out to him. On the contrary, he chose to join both despite Dumbledore deciding not to ask him and the person himself hating the Headmaster's guts. This person ended up arriving in Hogsmeade the morning of 27 June 1994 and -- upon checking into his room at the Three Broomsticks -- he immediately stuck his head into the fireplace and called Dumbledore's office.

"Oi! Dumbledore! I want a word!"

As it so happened, Dumbledore was at his desk writing several letters at the time, and the sound of the familiar voice made him look up over his half-moon spectacles, mildly startled. When he got up and approached his fireplace, the Headmaster found the frowning head of a young man with very hollowed-out, skull-like almond-shaped blue eyes and a mane of long, messy black-brown curls sitting in the flames.

Dumbledore smiled.

"Jacob," he said. "This is a surprise. I was under the impression you were in Bolivia."

"I was," Jacob Cromwell said irritably. "Not that I remember telling you that, you old fart. Now let me over there -- I want to talk to you about Diggory."

His white eyebrows raised, Dumbledore nonetheless took his wand out of his sleeve and waved it across the top of the fireplace, making it glow a light gold.

"There you are, Jacob," he said lightly. "You have clearance to come through -- "

Right as the Headmaster had finished saying this, Jacob shoved his way head-first into his fireplace and out through Dumbledore's. He brushed soot and sparkling Floo powder out of his long hair and off his baggy Whitney Houston T-shirt and bell-bottom jeans -- clearly wherever he'd been in Bolivia, he'd been dressed more to interact with Muggles than with wizards, and he hadn't bothered changing on the way. Even so, sticking out of the side pockets of his jeans were not one but two wands: his original white Aspen wand in his left and another blackthorn wand Dumbledore hadn't seen before in his right.

"Was that a present, Jacob?" asked the Headmaster, eying the new wand with interest. "The carvings look distinctly unlike Garrick's varieties."

"It was made by a wizard member of the Navajo Nation," said Jacob shortly. "So yeah, of course it's not like Ollivander's work."

Dumbledore cocked his eyebrows. "Then you've learned how to duel with two wands simultaneously? That's most impressive. But, I suppose, unsurprisingly so, given how talented of a duelist you've always been..."

"Not talented enough that you were willing to risk keeping me at school after R forced me to join them, though, eh?" Jacob said sardonically.

He crossed his arms, slouching so that his hip popped out and his left leg stuck out a bit at an angle as he stared Dumbledore down.

"Stop jive-talking, old man, I didn't come here for that. Now give it to me straight -- is Voldemort back?"

Dumbledore's expression grew more grave.

"Yes, Jacob. I'm afraid he is."

Jacob's skull-like blue eyes narrowed. He didn't look surprised or scared -- instead he nodded in grim acceptance as he looked away in the direction of Fawkes sitting on his perch.

"I presume Carewyn told you," said Dumbledore.

Jacob snorted. "Obviously. Pip wrote to Mum and me as soon as she found out what happened to Diggory."

His eyes darkened as they drifted up toward the ceiling.

"...I remember the kid from the Sunken Vault," he muttered. "He was part of the group that helped Pip and me -- the Circle of Khanna. He didn't deserve this."

Dumbledore's expression softened sadly.

"No," he said quietly. "No, he did not. Cedric was a brave, loyal, selfless young man -- he deserved a far longer and happier life."

The Headmaster crossed the room back over to his desk.

"So too does Harry. So does he, a mere boy of fourteen, deserve a long and happy life, when he had to fight for his life and only just barely made it back to Hogwarts with Cedric's body. So too do his classmates, who mourn Cedric's death same as our school mourned Rowan Khanna...and Duncan Ashe."

The mention of his boy best friend made Jacob visibly twitch. His eyes flashed at Dumbledore like a warning, but the Headmaster regarded him solemnly over his half-moon spectacles.

"Jacob...I hesitate to even bring this up, when your distaste of me is more than apparent," he cocked his eyebrows in rather pointed wryness, "but since you've come so far to meet with me, and since Carewyn has been in contact with you, I can only presume you know that I have decided to act, in response to this turn of events."

"Form your own army to fight old Moldy Shorts, you mean?" said Jacob. "Yeah, Pip told me. She also told me you wanted to recruit her to join it, even when you know she hates fighting," he added rather coldly.

"Both I and other members of our group knew that your sister would be invaluable to our cause, as a combatant or not," Dumbledore answered lightly. "I must confess that I also thought it more likely that we could receive aid from Carewyn than from you, given that she's only prone to express cold disapproval toward me, rather than active hostility." His blue eyes sparkled with some amusement as he added, "And of course Carewyn is far easier to get in touch with."

"I get in touch with those I want to be in touch with," Jacob spat. "I have no interest in getting letters from people who can't mind their potatoes."

"Like Olympe Maxime?" Dumbledore asked with a dewy smile. "She spoke very highly of you over breakfast, the morning after she first arrived...it was nice to see Filius beaming so brightly, hearing the head of Beauxbatons speak so highly of one of his students."

Jacob was a bit startled by this, but he stubbornly tried to obscure the pride he likely felt hearing this with irritation.

"I thought I told you I'm not here to chew the fat with you," he said shortly.

Dumbledore gave an amused shake of the head. "Yes, I suppose you did. Well then? What is it that you do wish to discuss with me?"

Jacob put a hand on his hip. "Isn't it obvious? I'm here to join your bloody army."

Now this took Dumbledore aback. His eyebrows rose very high

"Look -- for however much of a shady minger you are, everyone knows you're the most powerful wizard in the world -- at least, on the non-Dark-Magic side of things," Jacob said brusquely. "If you say old Morty's back, then clearly he is. It'd be idiotic and pointless for you to lie about something like that, especially when anyone with a brain cell knew there was a damn good chance that creep was going to come back sooner or later. If anyone's going to have a chance standing toe to toe with Voldemort, it's sure as hell not going to be Fudge: it's going to be you. And if that coot Corny is really so determined to put his head in the sand about this, then I intend to align myself with those people who intend to actually do something, not just pussyfoot around and stupidly act like everything's fine."

Jacob's eyes narrowed upon Dumbledore's face.

"However much I don't like you -- however much I know Pip doesn't either -- you can't do this on your own. That much is obvious. And I would've fought old Lord Stupid-Name the first time if I'd been old enough, so why the hell wouldn't I do it now? Even if it does have to be alongside the likes of you."

Dumbledore's light blue eyes actually twinkled.

"...You'll fight with us for the greater good, then?" he asked.

"For goodness's sake, period," Jacob shot back. "How I feel about you has nothing to do with good versus evil: I just think you're a Machiavellian old geezer who thinks you always know best. This fight, on the other hand, is."

Dumbledore's face broke out into a smile.

"Indeed it is."

Sweeping up his long, bell-shaped sleeve, he extended a wrinkled hand.

"Very well, Jacob...I accept your application. Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix."

Jacob cocked his eyebrows at Dumbledore and then at Fawkes, before he took the Headmaster's hand and curtly shook it.

"'Order of the Phoenix,' huh? Hm. Decent name -- here I was imagining you marching around as head of a 'Dumbledore's Army' or something..."

"Coming from you, that's quite a compliment," Dumbledore said amusedly as Jacob withdrew his hand.

His expression became a bit more kind.

"...Thank you, Jacob. I mean that wholeheartedly. I'm truly pleased to see you, once again, prove yourself to be a very brave and noble young man."

Jacob shot Dumbledore a miffed look and opened his mouth, and Dumbledore chuckled.

"Forgive me...I know you don't wish any such compliments from me. Perhaps if Minerva echoed them, they might be easier to accept? I'm certain she would agree with me, when she learns you've chosen to join us."

"I'd rather you give me something useful to do so I don't have to listen to you trying in vain to butter me up," Jacob said exasperatedly.

"Very well. I actually was hoping you would consider stopping by Knockturn Alley and making contact with Mundungus Fletcher. He's already answered my call to arms, but I anticipate that to get some of the information we need about Voldemort's forces, he may need a talented duelist to back him up."

"To save his arse, you mean," scoffed Jacob.

"In so many words, yes," said Dumbledore with a wry smile.

Jacob sighed tiredly and rolled his eyes. "Fine. Maybe while I'm there, I'll get some of that information we need myself. I'd love to know what Lucius Malfoy has been up to, for instance..."

"Lucius Malfoy is a practical person to look into," Dumbledore agreed. "Harry even said he saw Lucius there in the Graveyard, with Voldemort. I imagine he would be the sort to desire a position of leadership, among Voldemort's supporters."

Jacob nodded curtly as he turned on his heel, striding back toward the fireplace.

"Be careful, Jacob," Dumbledore cautioned him. "Knockturn Alley is likely to be more dangerous since you were last there."

"If any of those Dark-Magic-happy losers want at me, let them give it their best shot," said Jacob with a cold smirk, tapping his temple significantly. "It'd take a damn accomplished Occlumens for me to not sense them coming. And if they are, groovy -- I'm always up for an actual challenge."

He stepped into the fireplace, threw down some Floo Powder from the mantle at his feet, shouted, "Three Broomsticks, room 21!" and disappeared in another flare of green flames.

[golzar]

Nimra Jacob

[inkbybambi]

piercings each of the boys have to maximize your pleasure —

soap and gaz with tongue piercings. wicked smiles and sharp teeth, they know exactly how to curve their tongues to graze against your clit, bury their tongues between your folds and eat you out like a man starving. they love when you grip the back of their necks, grind your clit against the ball of their piercing, shaking underneath them and whining at how good it feels.

price with prince albert, thick gauge snug under the head of his cock and peeking out from his slit. he loves when you suck him off, tongue lapping at him like a kitten, so fascinated with the ball, making it shiny with your spit. he likes to tease your clit with it, watch how sticky it gets with your arousal, hear you whine because you want it inside you so badly.

ghost with a jacob’s ladder with four rungs, a feral curl to his smile as he watches you rub your cunt against his cock like a cat in heat, watching how wet you get with each roll of your hips, desperate for him to fuck you. he takes particular pleasure when he does finally sink into your warm heat, watching your eyes flutter and roll to the back of your head as you mewl with each rung until he’s fully settled into you, feeling how you clench around him to keep him deep.

[intheupside]

addressing the boys in the locker room and living his ted lasso dreams

also there’s an athletic article about it:

“It was a roller coaster,” Crosby told The Athletic of the game, shaking his head and smiling. “I feel like there’s been a lot more eyeballs, a lot more attention on this team.”

Crosby, wearing Canada’s red home kit, watched one of the more thrilling games of Copa America. Canada took an early lead thanks to Jacob Shaffelburg, who not only comes from the same province as Crosby, Nova Scotia, but is just the second men’s national team player from the province. Canada’s very own ‘Maritime Messi’.

Venezuela tied the game thanks to captain Salomon Rondon’s long-range chip in the 64th minute but Canada looked composed through penalties and midfielder Ismael Kone scored the winning spot-kick.

And not long after Canada entered their locker room to continue celebrating, Crosby joined them.

“Crosby said it was an ‘Unbelievable Canadian moment,’” defender Alistair Johnston said. “He said ‘The penalties were insane’ and something that he couldn’t even imagine doing.”

Crosby then singled out what midfielder Jonathan Osorio called the “guts of the group” to step up and score in penalties. “They look like a real tight-knit group,” Crosby said.

Crosby’s visit to Canada’s dressing-room soon began trickling out on social media but it wasn’t planned. Crosby said that every summer he and a group of teammates from his days playing junior hockey for Rimouski Oceanic in the Quebec Maritimes Junior Hockey League organize a trip together. This year, once Canada qualified for the quarterfinal, they made the decision to travel south to Arlington.

It was only in the hours leading up to the game that a mutual friend of one of the Canadian players extended an invite to Crosby to come into the dressing room.

As he made his way around the room, Canadian players beamed. Osorio said Crosby nabbed Shaffelburg’s jersey postgame.

“I got to see a Nova Scotia legend,” Shaffelburg said. “I’ve always looked up to (Crosby). To meet him was unbelievable.”

Crosby then encouraged the team for the future and reminded them how proud they have made Canadians.

“His words mean a lot,” goalkeeper Maxime Crepeau said. “But it’s an example of how we are slowly changing things for our country.”

Crosby then posed for a photo with the entire team. He’s no stranger to winning over the hearts of an entire country, having scored arguably the most important goal in Canadian sports history to win the 2010 Olympic gold medal over the United States.

And Crosby understands what so many others are coming to learn as well: This Canadian team is becoming a truly special one.

“The way they reacted after (Venezuela’s tying goal) — it’s a tough goal to give up, but they kept coming,” Crosby said when asked what makes this team special.

Canada is no stranger to having heroes visit the team: Famed astronaut Chris Hadfield joined them for a pre-game speech before their 2022 World Cup opener.

But Crosby’s star status is as radiant as they come in Canada. For generations, Canada’s national team was looked at as an afterthought. Qualifying for the World Cup began to change the perception of the team at home. Yet what they have lacked as of late are results against top teams to earn more fans.

That’s changing, and Crosby isn’t just witness to it. Against Venezuela, he was part of it. “With the games that they’ve put together, they’re only going to get more and more (attention). It’s fun to see. They deserve it. It seems like they’re a really great group of guys,” Crosby said.

This Canadian team is tasked not just with winning matches as they’ve done under new head coach Jesse Marsch; they also understand it’s their responsibility to continue to grow a game that might enjoy heavy participation among children but still falls behind hockey in terms of national popularity.

“What a legend to have on our side,” Marsch said of Crosby. “This is important for us in 2026 (at the World Cup with Canada hosting alongside the U.S. and Mecico). We want to feel the power of the entire nation.”

Now, the team is looking at Crosby’s endorsement as another example of their own star in Canada growing brighter.

“You can tell how much it means to the team that we are taking that next step in Canadian pop culture,” Johnston said. “You could see that we’re reaching a bigger crowd than just the football mad crowd. We’re inspiring a lot of people.”

Canada’s next chance to inspire will undoubtedly be their most difficult test yet: A semifinal against world champions Argentina.

As difficult a test as it might be, Canadian players all agree they believe more people than ever will be watching their team. And that includes Crosby.

[harrysfolklore]

can you do something with reneé rapp?

HERE WE GO MY FIRST JACOB BLURB !!!!!! this was so fun to write and i hope you guys like it, send requests for jacob blurbs if you would like to see more !

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by sabrinacarpenter and theestallion and 431,175

yourinstagram face card no cash no credit

view all 18,037 comments

ynfan1 SLAAAY

ynfan2 for real her face card never declines

madisonbeer icon 🤍

mtv the new it girl

oliviarodrigo that’s my regina george 😛

ynfan3 she’s an icon and she’s the moment

shawnmendes ❤️

ynfan4 i know her dms are full of celebrities sliding into them

liked by sydney_sweeney, yourinstagram and 903,686 others

jacobelordi @saltburnfilm in theaters Tomorrow🏰

view all 11,936 comments

jacobfan1 AHHHHHH

jacobfan2 he was crafted by god himself

saltburnfilm 🧂🔥

alexademie ❤️

jacobfan3 SLAY OF THE CENTURY IS COMING

yourinstagram seated

↳ ynfan1 WHAT ARE U DOING HERE

↳ ynfan2 she’s just like me

liked by jacobelordi, madisonbeer and 583,927 others

yourinstagram no thoughts just murder on the dancefloor and the saltburn movie in general

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ynfan1 SO TRUEEEE

ynfan2 she’s just like me

sabrinacarpenter okay but look at you wtf

sukiwaterhouse 😍

jacobfan1 SHE GETS IT

ynfan3 you should get jacob elordi’s bath water candle

↳ yourinstagram i already ordered it

↳ ynfan1 SHES SOOOOO

↳ jacobfan2 I NEED TO STAN

//

liked by jacobfan1, jacobfan2 and 4,836 others

jacobupdates Jacob arriving to the ‘Mean Girls’ premiere after party tonight !

view all 204 comments

jacobfan1 OMG????

jacobfan2 idk who invited him but SLAY

jacobfan3 truth is he should’ve been casted as aaron

jacobfan4 HE LOOKS SO DREAMY

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yourinstagram afterparty things 🪩

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ynfan1 SLAY OF SLAYS

madisonbeer LOVE YOU 😍

ynfan2 her face card never declines fr

ynfan3 i can’t believe she looks like THIS and i look like a bag of potatoes

jacobfan1 i’m assuming she and jacob met and maximized their joint slay

jacobelordi 🕺🕺

↳ jacobfan2 HELLOOO?

↳ ynfan4 ICONS OF THE MOMENT

↳ yourinstagram lesss do it again

↳ ynfan1 okay i love this

//

liked by jacobfan1, jacobfan2 and 3,286 others

elordishitpost JACOB what are you doing here ??? (pls read it like it was the ariana what are you doing here tiktok audio)

view all 209 comments

jacobfan1 LMAOOOOO

jacobfan2 wait who is this about ?? like whose bday is it lol

↳ elordishitpost yn she plays regina george in the new mean girls movie

jacobfan3 that twitter user who’s always spreading the yn x jacob agenda must be jumping

jacobfan4 i hate deuxmoi sm they’re always starting shit

jacobfan5 jacob and yn are besties he went to the mean girls afterparty

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yourinstagram BIRTHDAYYYYY DUMP

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ynfan1 LOVE THIS SO BAD

ynfan2 HEEEELP

troyesivan happy birthday icon

jacobfan1 THE SECOND PIC 😭

jacobfan2 not the bath water candle

sabrinacarpenter 😍

ynfan3 everyone talking about the candle but THE RIPPED STOCKING BC SHE FELL 😭

jacobelordi We did murder the dancefloor

↳ jacobfan1 WORLD STOP

↳ ynfan1 i love this jacob x yn duo

↳ jacobfan2 i would say that i hope they’re dating but jacob literally just got out of a relationship

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celebrityleaks YN and Jacob Elordi leaving her New York apartment today

view all 3,964 comments

ynfan1 OMFGGGG

jacobfan1 YES ????

ynfan2 i love this duo sm

jacobfan2 do we think they’re dating 👀

↳ jacobfan3 nah, jacob just got out of a relationship

ynfan3 LOVE THEM SM

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jacobelordi @nbcsnl

view all 21,028 comments

jacobfan1 OHHHH YES

ynfan1 THIS IS WHAT THE WORLD NEEDED

hunterschafer YES 🙌🏻

ynfan2 im bi panicking already

sabrinacarpenter ❤️

jacobfan2 THATS why they have been hanging out so much

ynfan3 this is going to be so good

yourinstagram they’re not ready

↳ ynfan4 NO WE’RE NOT

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yourinstagram hello host

view all 19,725 comments

ynfan1 SHUT UPPPP

jacobfan1 THANK YOU YN FOR THE CONTENT

oliviarodrigo honestly i can’t wait for this 😛

ynfan1 omggg they’re rehearsing already

jacobfan2 this is going to be the best snl episode ever

jacobelordi Wait It’s my turn

↳ jacobfan3 WHAT DOES HE MEAN

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jacobelordi Hello musical guest

view all 19,825 comments

jacobfan1 AHHHHH

zendaya ❤️

ynfan1 BEST DUO IN THE WORLD

jacobfan2 bye i ship them

mtv we support this

jacobfan3 THIS IS WHAT HE MEANT

yourinstagram 🕺

ynfan3 man i can’t wait for this

liked by jacobfan1, ynfan1 and 50,836 others

celebrityleaks JACOB ELORDI AND YN OUT IN NEW YORK TONIGHT

view all 4,937 comments

jacobfan1 STFUUUUU

ynfan1 HELP?

jacobfan2 WE KNEW THIS WAS COMING

ynfan2 im speechless

jacobfan3 SNL IS GOING TO BE CRAZY

↳ jacobfan1 HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH

ynfan4 THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HAS ME CRYING

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yourinstagram when a queen comes across another queen and they decide to maximize their joint slay

view all 20,723 comments

ynfan1 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

jacobfan1 BABYGIRL AND MOTHER

madisonbeer babygirl and mother indeed 👀

ynfan2 they’re going to be so messy tomorrow i just know it

jacobfan2 that public hard launch is coming

hunterschafer ❤️❤️

jacobelordi Mother

↳ jacobfan4 HE KNOWS

↳ ynfan2 he knowsss

YN VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES

FANS VIA TWITTER

//

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jacobupdates Jacob and YN arriving to the SNL afterparty tonight !

view all 988 comments

jacobfan1 AHJHHHHHHHH

ynfan1 so they’re a thing THING

jacobfan2 everything about this is perfect

ynfan2 COUPLE OF THE CENTURY

jacobfan3 LOVE THEM SO BAD FR

ynfan3 they took “maximize their joint slay” to another level

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yourinstagram live from new york with my boyfriend if you even care (yes he’s my boyfriend and he was the one who slid on my dms not the other way around)

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ynfan1 WORLD STOP

jacobfan1 CUT THE CAMERAS

oliviarodrigo ❤️❤️❤️

hunterschafer love you both

jacobfan2 IM SCREAMING

ynfan2 AHH I KNEW IT

theestallion 🔥🤍

ynfan3 they’re two of the most iconic people in hollywood rn and smh they’re together WE WON

jacobfan3 JACOB IS A LIAR

jacobelordi I take pride on my flirting tactics

↳ jacobfan1 SOMEBODY STOP HIM

↳ ynfan1 😭😭

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jacobelordi @nbcsnl Thank you for having me

view all 20,927 comments

jacobfan1 BABYYYYYYY

jacobfan2 he’s always posing like he’s small

sydney_sweeney ❤️

ynfan1 he’s so hot i get it girl @yourinstagram

yourinstagram i hard launch us on social media and you just post this

yourinstagram wow

↳ ynfan2 CRYING

↳ jacobfan1 this relationship is going to be the best thing that happened to pop culture

[bellshazes]

dreaming up a syllabus for an imaginary course on metanarratives about gameplay, which i think would go something like:

unit 1: who do you think you are i am - auto-documentary & games

Vlogs and the Hyperreal, Folding Ideas

The Slow Death of Let's Play Videos, Meraki (to ~10:00)

World Record Progression: Mike Tyson, Summoning Salt

ROBLOX_OOF.mp3, hbomberguy

Life as a Bokoblin: A Zelda Nature Documentary, Monster Maze

optional: Braindump on the History of Let's Plays, slowbeef

unit 2: what like it's hard? - intro to challenge narratives

Chapter 26: Games as Narrative Play: Two Structures for Narrative Play, Rules of Play

A different kind of challenge run: Minimalist 100% (BOTW), Wolf Link

Surviving 100 Days on Just Dirt, Mogswamp

Can You Beat DARK SOULS III with Only Firebombs, the Backlogs

Is it Possible to Beat Super Mario 3D World while permanently crouching?, Ceave Gaming

The Pacifist Challenge - Beating Hollow Knight Without Collecting Soul [CHALLENGE] - Sample

optional: How to 100% Snowpeak Ruins in under 15 minutes, bewildebeest

unit 3: nelly you don't understand, i AM the narrative - form and function

The Future of Writing about Games, Jacob Geller

Can You Beat GRIME Without Weapons?, the Backlogs

Mushroom Kingdom Championships, Ceave Gaming

My Life as a Barber in Hitman 2, MinMax (Leo Vader)

MyHouse.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod, PowerPak

optional: Mega Microvideos, Matthewmatosis

the theme and structure is mostly intended to introduce at least one critical or historically contextual work followed by examples of the type of narrative in question.

in unit 1, this is the idea of "How do people talk about their own experiences in the context of YouTube and playing video games?" across three rather different kinds of documentaries. unit 2 is intended to take that lens of who is telling what tale and dial in on challenge running, where i first noticed the way some videos turn the story of overcoming a challenge into its own narrative that is distinct from but related to the narrative events of the game itself. unit 3 circles back to the bigger picture with a variety of examples that, to me, are maximally metanarrative, the emergent story of the player-narrator now functionally replacing the game's embedded narrative.

bonus unit: broken narratives

Glitch & the Grotesque at the MLA, Sylvia Korman

Watching time loop movies to escape my time loop, Leo Vader

The Stanley Parable, Dark Souls, and Intended Play, Folding Ideas

Breaking Madden, Jon Bois

The TRUTH about the Pizzaplex in FNAF: Security Breach, AstralSpiff

this one is highly underdeveloped, but i'd love to work out something more robust building on randomizer challenges that produce intentionally bizarre, semi-ironic "lore," and bois-esque endeavors to break games so hard the story itself crumbles. but that's really out of scope so i'm just including the links to things i couldn't bear to get rid of. more rambling abt the challenge runs I chose under the cut.

Challenge runs represent one of the most obvious places to start, due to being extremely plentiful and having a hook that makes a "here's how I did X thing in Y video game" format almost unavoidable. Minimalist 100% is an underrated and sweet straightforward example that I mostly include as a baseline for reporting-out style narrative; here are the facts, here's what happened, this is the thing that it is. Mogswamp's 100 Days on Just Dirt is similar in style, but the physical measuring of days is a delightful and, more importantly, external narrative device.

Now oriented, we get a taste of Ceave Gaming's narrative approach to Mario challenges with the no-crouching run, and while we still aren't at the degree of player-characters being constructed for the narrative's sake, the spirited belief in crouching sets the stage for other rhetoric in more extreme cases we'll see later.

The Backlogs' entire body of work qualifies here, but GRIME is the strongest inspiration for putting this list together. I include the DS3 firebombs run because what was initially a factual description of how his wife's use of firebombs inspired him to play differently in the original DS1 firebombs run has developed into full-blown multi-game narrative arc with the Firebomb Goddess (his wife, who also voices the character) compelling his in-game character to achieve his destined quest. Grime takes that even further,

In-Game Documentaries

I include Life as a Bokoblin mostly as a contrast to My Life as a Barber - there is a level of fictionalization and roleplay involved in the Zelda in-game documentary that highlights exactly what I want to single out when I am talking about metanarrative, the story about a story.

[sywtwfs]

Team USA for 2024 ISU Championships

World Championships

Men: Ilia Malinin, Jason Brown, Camden Pulkinen (Alt: Maxim Naumov, Andrew Torgashev, Jimmy Ma)

Women: Amber Glenn, Isabeau Levito (Alt: Ava Ziegler, Elyce Lin-Gracey, Starr Andrews)

Pairs: Emily Chan/Spencer Akira Howe, Ellie Kam/Danny O’Shea, Valentina Plazas/Maximiliano Fernandez (Alt: Chelsea Liu/Balazs Nagy, Isabelle Martins/Ryan Bedard*)

Ice Dance: Madison Chock/Evan Bates, Christina Carreira/Anthony Ponomarenko, Emily Bratti/Ian Somerville (Alt: Caroline Green/Michael Parsons, Eva Pate/Logan Bye, Emilea Zingas/Vadym Kolesnik)

Four Continents Championships (announced before Nationals)

Men: Tomoki Hiwatashi, Camden Pulkinen (WD), Andrew Torgashev (Alt: Maxim Naumov, Liam Kapeikis, Jimmy Ma)

Women: Amber Glenn (WD), Lindsay Thorngren, Ava Ziegler (Alt: Elyce Lin-Gracey, Audrey Shin, Starr Andrews)

Pairs: Ellie Kam/Danny O’Shea, Chelsea Liu/Balazs Nagy, Valentina Plazas/Maximiliano Fernandez (Alt: Isabelle Martins/Ryan Bedard, Maria Mokhova/Ivan Mokhov)

Ice Dance: Madison Chock/Evan Bates (WD), Christina Carreira/Anthony Ponomarenko, Caroline Green/Michael Parsons (Alt: Emilea Zingas/Vadym Kolesnik, Oona Brown/Gage Brown, Eva Pate/Logan Bye)

Junior World Championships

Men: Daniel Martynov, Jacob Sanchez (Alt: Beck Strommer, Taira Shinohara, Lucius Kazanecki)

Women: Josephine Lee, Sherry Zhang (Alt: Logan Higase-Chen, Sarah Everhardt, Elyce Lin-Gracey)

Pairs: Olivia Flores/Luke Wang, Naomi Williams/Lachlan Lewer, Adele Zheng/Andy Deng

Ice Dance: Leah Neset/Artem Markelov, Elliana Peal/Ethan Peal, Yahli Pedersen/Jeffrey Chen (Alt: Jenna Hauer/Benjamin Starr, Caroline Mullen/Brendan Mullen, Olivia Ilin/Dylan Cain)

*Pending TES minimums

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

[eludin-realm]

Character Name Ideas (Male)

So I've been browsing through BehindTheName (great resource!) recently and have compiled several name lists. Here are some names, A-Z, that I like. NOTE: If you want to use any of these please verify sources, meanings etc, I just used BehindTheName to browse and find all of these. Under the cut:

A: Austin, Aiden, Adam, Alex, Angus, Anthony, Archie, Argo, Ari, Aric, Arno, Atlas, August, Aurelius, Alexei, Archer, Angelo, Adric, Acarius, Achilou, Alphard, Amelian, Archander B: Bodhi, Bastian, Baz, Beau, Beck, Buck, Basil, Benny, Bentley, Blake, Bowie, Brad, Brady, Brody, Brennan, Brent, Brett, Brycen C: Cab, Cal, Caden, Cáel, Caelan, Caleb, Cameron, Chase, Carlos, Cooper, Carter, Cas, Cash, Cassian, Castiel, Cedric, Cenric, Chance, Chandler, Chaz, Chad, Chester, Chet, Chip, Christian, Cillian, Claude, Cicero, Clint, Cody, Cory, Coy, Cole, Colt, Colton, Colin, Colorado, Colum, Conan, Conrad, Conway, Connor, Cornelius, Creed, Cyneric, Cynric, Cyrano, Cyril, Cyrus, Crestian, Ceric D: Dallas, Damien, Daniel, Darach, Dash, Dax, Dayton, Denver, Derek, Des, Desmond, Devin, Dewey, Dexter, Dietrich, Dion, Dmitri, Dominic, Dorian, Douglas, Draco, Drake, Drew, Dudley, Dustin, Dusty, Dylan, Danièu E: Eadric, Evan, Ethan, Easton, Eddie, Eddy, Einar, Eli, Eilas, Eiljah, Elliott, Elton, Emanuel, Emile, Emmett, Enzo, Erik, Evander, Everett, Ezio F: Faolán, Faron, Ferlin, Felix, Fenrir, Fergus, Finley, Finlay, Finn, Finnian, Finnegan, Flint, Flip, Flynn, Florian, Forrest, Fritz G: Gage, Gabe, Grady, Grant, Gray, Grayson, Gunnar, Gunther, Galahad H: Hale, Harley, Harper, Harvey, Harry, Huey, Hugh, Hunter, Huxley I: Ian, Ianto, Ike, Inigo, Isaac, Isaias, Ivan, Ísak J: Jack, Jacob, Jake, Jason, Jasper, Jax, Jay, Jensen, Jed, Jeremy, Jeremiah, Jesse, Jett, Jimmie, Jonas, Jonas, Jonathan, Jordan, Josh, Julien, Jovian, Jun, Justin, Joseph, Joni, K: Kaden, Kai, Kale, Kane, Kaz, Keane, Keaton, Keith, Kenji, Kenneth, Kent, Kevin, Kieran, Kip, Knox, Kris, Kristian, Kyle, Kay, Kristján, Kristófer L: Lamont, Lance, Landon, Lane, Lars, László, Laurent, Layton, Leander, Leif, Leo, Leonidas, Leopold, Levi, Lewis, Louie, Liam, Liberty, Lincoln, Linc, Linus, Lionel, Logan, Loki, Lucas, Lucian, Lucio, Lucky, Luke, Luther, Lyall, Lycus, Lykos, Lyle, Lyndon, Llewellyn, Landri, Laurian, Lionç M: Major, Manny, Manuel, Marcus, Mason, Matt, Matthew, Matthias, Maverick, Maxim, Memphis, Midas, Mikko, Miles, Mitch, Mordecai, Mordred, Morgan, Macari, Maïus, Maxenci, Micolau, Miro N: Nate, Nathan, Nathaniel, Niall, Nico, Niels, Nik, Noah, Nolan, Niilo, Nikander, Novak, O: Oakley, Octavian, Odin, Orlando, Orrick, Ǫrvar, Othello, Otis, Otto, Ovid, Owain, Owen, Øyvind, Ozzie, Ollie, Oliver, Onni P: Paisley, Palmer, Percival, Percy, Perry, Peyton, Phelan, Phineas, Phoenix, Piers, Pierce, Porter, Presley, Preston, Pacian Q: Quinn, Quincy, Quintin R: Ragnar, Raiden, Ren, Rain, Rainier, Ramos, Ramsey, Ransom, Raul, Ray, Roy, Reagan, Redd, Reese, Rhys, Rhett, Reginald, Remiel, Remy, Ridge, Ridley, Ripley, Rigby, Riggs, Riley, River, Robert, Rocky, Rokas, Roman, Ronan, Ronin, Romeo, Rory, Ross, Ruairí, Rufus, Rusty, Ryder, Ryker, Rylan, Riku, Roni S: Sammie, Sammy, Samuel, Samson, Sanford, Sawyer, Scout, Seán, Seth, Sebastian, Seymour, Shane, Shaun, Shawn, Sheldon, Shiloh, Shun, Sid, Sidney, Silas, Skip, Skipper, Skyler, Slade, Spencer, Spike, Stan, Stanford, Sterling, Stevie, Stijn, Suni, Sylvan, Sylvester T: Tab, Tad, Tanner, Tate, Tennessee, Tero, Terrance, Tevin, Thatcher, Tierno, Tino, Titus, Tobias, Tony, Torin, Trace, Trent, Trenton, Trev, Trevor, Trey, Troy, Tripp, Tristan, Tucker, Turner, Tyler, Ty, Teemu U: Ulric V: Valerius, Valor, Van, Vernon, Vespasian, Vic, Victor, Vico, Vince, Vinny, Vincent W: Wade, Walker, Wallis, Wally, Walt, Wardell, Warwick, Watson, Waylon, Wayne, Wes, Wesley, Weston, Whitley, Wilder, Wiley, William, Wolfe, Wolfgang, Woody, Wulfric, Wyatt, Wynn X: Xander, Xavier Z: Zachary, Zach, Zane, Zeb, Zebediah, Zed, Zeke, Zeph, Zaccai

[notbecauseofvictories]

you mentioned enjoying i.w.t.v. in response to an ask recently -- can i ask if you found any one character more compelling than the others? (i didn't, haha; i found all four leads equally intriguing and well-drawn, and am beyond excited to see them -- and our new fifth main character -- in europe next season. this is unusual for me so i was just curious!)

Thank you for this question, Anon, because it genuinely made me go back and think about the show. I mean, obviously I knew it was good from the get-go---no other show I've watched in recent memory is such a romp, explores with gusto a divorce that is also a marriage that is also a serial killer streak. It's an Edward Albee play with vampires! I adore it.

But other than clocking it as great television, a show I couldn't ignore even if I wanted to...I have not thought about it all that much.

The hard part of evaluating IWTV as a show is that Lestat/Sam Reid is constantly doing the most. It's genuinely hard to pay attention to anyone else on screen when he is Doing Acting, because the performance he's giving is so unbelievably enormous that it tends to blot out everything else. When you look like that sexy Lucifer and every single line reading you give is maximally unhinged, how are people supposed to pay attention to your scene partners?

Whereas Louis/Jacob Anderson's performance is smoother and subtler; his rage is an undercurrent, his denial is a gloss. As a narrator, his desires are treated as the only measure of truth---since even in his slantwise telling, he can't quite avoid Lestat's thrall.

(I did also love Daniel and "Rashid" but since I read the books so long ago, they didn't really work for me except as a framing device. A great framing device! But only that.)

That being said...I think I have to go with Claudia/Bailey Bass. To be fair, the psychosexual tension between Lestat and Claudia as they compete for Louis' attention (as father/lover/wife and sister/daughter/other woman) is probably my favorite part of the television show. The fucked up relationships between the three of them are so satisfying, Claudia's artificial youth (a hindrance, a tragedy) colliding with Lestat's (a gift, a power) and both of them vying for Louis' attention but not in a kind way...I loved those episodes. And the episode where Claudia and Lestat have their steel-in-a-velvet-glove confrontation on the train? I was in ecstasy.

So I suppose my answer to "which characters do you find compelling?" is "the fraught (somehow incestuous) threesome that is the New Orleans crew, because holy hell, how can I be expected to pay attention to anything else?"

[weclassybouquetfun]

A pair of James Lance interviews in support of THE FAMOUS FIVE which bows this weekend.

A brief one with WhatToWatch.Com

James believes everyone should work with children and animals and his THE FAMOUS FIVE executive producer Nicolas Winding Refn also believes that maxim against working with them is wrong.

And he, along with Sam Ryder, are interviewed by Chris Evans (not that one). James' bit starts in at the 12:40 mark. He talks THE FAMOUS FIVE, reuniting with the TED LASSO cast soon for a SAG-AFTRA panel in New York and joins in the praising of Hannah Waddingham.

He was also interviewed on Hawksbee and Jacob Daily on TalkSports.Starts around the 12:30 mark. Nothing new. He spends 1 minute on THE FAMOUS FIVE and then the hosts starts in on TED LASSO.

[direwombat]

tagged by @jacobsneed, @inafieldofdaisies, @nightwingshero, @vampireninjabunnies-blog and @inquisitors-grave over the past week or so to share some wips~

tagging: @socially-awkward-skeleton, @adelaidedrubman, @detectivelokis, @sstewyhosseini, @baldurrs, @aceghosts, @poetikat, @trench-rot, @confidentandgood, @voidika, @fourlittleseedlings, @wrathfulrook, @roofgeese, @g0dspeeed, @gaeadene, @clonesupport, @purplehairsecretlair, @madparadoxum, @deputyash, @strafethesesinners, @strangefable, @harmonyowl and uhhhhh i think that's everyone but if i missed you and you have something to share consider yourself tagged (but as always no pressure <3)

knocked a good chunk of chapter 2/interlude I of kneeling at the crossroads, so have some augustine having a not-great time, and jacob having to juggle one more thing during the reaping.

[Augustine] should have known better, really.

It’s not like he’s never heard wolves howling before. But something about the chill in the air and the way the pack had sounded spooked him. He shouldn’t have ran. You’re not supposed to run; that just makes you prey. But like a lost little lamb who wandered too far from his safe little pasture, that’s exactly what he did.

And like a fool, tripped and fell off a sharp drop and landed on the rocks about ten feet down. With all his weight on one leg, snapping it right in half.

It’d be less of an issue if he could call for help, but unfortunately, there's no cell reception out here and his radio kept falling and landed who-knows-where further down the rocks.

So, here he is, laying on his back in utter agony with his survival skills barely overpowering his urge to just scream himself unconscious. He clicks Morse code into his flashlight — three short flashes, three longer ones, and another three short — hoping he’s close enough to the Ranger station for someone to see him, or that some other insomniac hiker will stumble upon him.

SOS.

He changes the direction where he points his light — left, right, over his head, up — flashing it at any and every angle he can to maximize the visibility of his distress call.

Someone help, please.

A few cycles into this pattern, he hears rustling in the bushes, accompanied by light chatter. “Coulda swore I saw a light flashing over here,” a low voice says.

Relief washes over Augustine in a massive wave. Oh, thank God. Someone’s here to help. “Hey!” he calls, and the low chatter goes quiet. “Hey! I’m over here! Down on the rocks! I—I uh…I broke my leg! I need help!”

A few moments later, two figures emerge, peering over the rocks above him. They’re both dressed in dark camouflage and red balaclavas. “Shit, it’s another ranger,” one says, and as Augustine squints up at them, he realizes the man is covered in blood. “Looks lame, though. Should we just put it out of its misery?”

“No,” the other says harshly. “Remember our orders. Anyone who escaped the Ranger station is to be brought to Shaw.”

Shaw? Benjamin Shaw? His coworker? “Hey, You know Ben?” he shouts up at them, and they both startle as if they’d forgotten he was there. “He’s my coworker! Hey, you help me get back to the Ranger’s Station and we can all get drinks or something. On me!”

What the two mutter to each other, he can’t quite make out, but the one covered in blood disappears while the remaining one gives him a wave. “Yeah, we’ll take you back to the station. Just hang on a second.”

Augustine laughs, maybe a little hysterically. “Oh, trust me. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

and here's some jacob pov of him having to deal with shaw bringing an injured augustine to him.

With a frustrated growl, Jacob storms back over to Shaw and holds his hand out. “Phone,” he grunts.

Shaw fumbles with his pockets and fishes out a slim black smartphone with a cracked screen. 

“Passcode is 0967,” he says.

A low noise rumbles in the back of Jacob’s throat again as he punches in the numbers. There’s a photo of Augustine and his sister set as the home screen. Looks like it was taken recently, likely on a hike in the Whitetails judging by the scenery and how they’re dressed. Seeing them side by side, it’s obvious they’re siblings. Similar hair, similar face shapes — and he can’t tell with sunglasses blocking them, but he’d wager they have similar eyes too.

She has a big smile. Wide. Toothy.

Pretty, even if her front teeth are a little bit too big compared to the rest.  

Very different from how she appeared just an hour or so prior in the church with the determined set of her jaw belied only by the way her eyes darted around frantically with the panic of a rabbit caught in a den of wolves.

He clumsily taps through various apps — Alltrails, no; banking, might be useful later, but not right now; Instagram, fuck no, that’s just photos of plants and trees; why are phones so fucking hard to use nowadays — until he finally finds the text conversation between Augustine and his sister.

The last thing she sent him was “Don’t get eaten by bears,” and he can’t help but snort a laugh.

Oh, no honey, he thinks. There are far more frightening predators out in these mountains than bears.

He looks back to Shaw, who goes rigid once again. Holding the phone up, he says, “Good work.” He’s going to have to put in some time to dig through it. Or maybe get John to do that. He’s better with technology than Jacob is. “Dismissed. Get back to the Ranger’s Station. You can take a supply truck and I’ll have the trainees sent over to you around dawn.”

Shaw nods and salutes. “Yes, sir,” But rather than leaving, he lingers. Hesitantly, he asks, “Will you keep me updated on what happens with —“

“I’ll let you know if you need to kill him,” Jacob snaps. “Otherwise, you’ve done well serving the Father, which is the bare minimum of what I expect from you and the rest of the Chosen. You more than anyone knows I don’t reward someone for doing the bare minimum. You want praise? Deliver me the Deputy.”