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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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The OTHER Members of Eve’s Coven

Me and @lilmissrantsypants couldn’t fit all the coven in as cameos in chapter 3, so here’s a rundown on the members who didn’t make an appearance. I added some of the stuff that inspired us into making the characters, My wife just went crazy with descriptions for her characters.

Aleister & Tantomile Deering: A pair of twins who were orphaned during WWII. They had to scrape by to survive, with Tantomile whoring herself out for drug money. They were turned when Aleister begged for help as his sister was overdosing. They were plagued by psychic visions as mortals, their powers awakening fully when they were turned. They are practically inseperable nowadays.

Power: Aleister and Tantomile have innate psychic abilities, activated by touching someone. Tantomile can see into a person’s past, while Aleister can see multiple outcomes the future could hold and then latch on to the most likely scenario. Their vampiric power is a twin link that allows them to experience the emotions the other one does, as well as keep them connected.

Inspiration: The psychic cat twins Tantomile and Coripocat from Cats

My wife came up with the basic concept and we workshopped them together from there; it’s a joint effort. She does Tantomile, I do Aleister.

Bartholomew Comstock: An overly aggressive puritan who was despised by his fellow townsfolk, he was banished from his New England home and forced to start a farm on his own. He nearly perished in the winter before Eve turned him. His hatred at being a disgusting, demonic creature such as a vampire is only ameliorated by his knowledge that Eve, having once been the angel Samael, ‘confirms’ his beliefs and allows him to eternally punish those he views as sinners.

Power: He believes his power gives him great strength against sinners, allowing him to inflict pain upon those who have done foul deeds. In truth, it is actually his own sins that give him strength, though his power does weaken as he exerts himself or runs low on blood (he cannot become unstoppably powerful).

Inspiration: The dad from The VVitch

Beatrix Cullen: Beatrix Cullen was a happy woman once, a skilled seamstress in the 1950s who simply loved the act of creation. She had an adoring boyfriend, and the two were set to be married, with Beatrix making a gorgeous wedding dress for her special day. But on that day, her groom never arrived, as he had been killed in a car accident on the way. Stricken by grief, Beatrix was easily convinced by Eve to join her coven, with the promise that perhaps her power could help her bring her husband back some day...

Power: Beatrix can imbue any object such as a sculpture or statue with life, essentially making golems without a magic scroll. Her most trusted golem is her mannequin, Manny, who often tries to steal her wedding dress. Her ultimate goal is to use her natural skills and her power to bring her husband back to life, stitching a Frankenstein monster of him and pieces of sleazy men who hit on her into a perfect flesh golem.

Inspirations: The bride from the Haunted Mansion, Kill Bill, Frankenstein, that one Tumblr post about 50s housewives fighting zombies with chainsaws, La Pascualita, Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh

Blanche Atterton: Daughter of Lady Drusilla Atterton, she grew up wanting nothing more than her mother’s love, though her mother was often far too preoccupied with “other things” (which she later learned was all of her plotting and planning to ensure her riches).When given the choice for vampirism, she excitedly vowed her loyalty to her mother and Eve. As she was only 15 at the time and children would not survive the turning, her mother waited until she turned 21 before turning her.Blanche does everything for her mother’s attention and love. She doesn’t hesitate to do her bidding in hopes of her mother praising her for it. She’s misguided, not evil, though her mother’s praise has given her a superiority complex and she’s a bit of a narcissist.

Power: Blanche’s power gives her a powerful, painful scream. Those within 5 feet of her screaming will suffer from temporary deafness for 5 minutes. Whether they fall deaf or not, bleeding from the ears is very common, especially among mortals.

Inspiration: Drizella from Cinerella

Dee Comporre: Giorgio Nero’s faithful, somewhat obsessed bodyguard. She quite obviously has a crush on him due to her hatred of any woman who so much as interacts with Giorgio, though Giorgio just sees her as being a bit overprotective. She has a shaved head, and paints her face to look like a skull.

Power: She can secrete and spit a powerful corrosive acid that can melt through even metal.

Inspirations: D’Compose from InHumanoids

Dorian Ferris: A serial killer known as “The Ferryman,” who always leaves coins over his victim’s eyes. As a mortal, he had far too many close calls, and was nearly caught several times, particularly during a bout in a town back in 1999. He tends to target wicked people such as domestic abusers, rapists, crooked cops, and so on, sending them down the River Styx ahead of time to make the world a better place. He willingly joined the coven to escape punishment. More than anything, he just wishes to live a quiet, peaceful life.

Power: Has luck manipulation, which can allow him to do everything from dodge attacks by near misses or turn his surroundings into a Final Destination movie for opponents. He tends to activate a particular mode based on the whims of a coin toss.

Inspirations: Jinx from Teen Titans, Final Destinatiin, Two-Face, Yoshikage Kira

Elizabeth Bathory: The Blood Countess herself. After evading death in the 1600s thanks to Eve, she became a loyal follower of the demon, and was recruited into the Order of the 1800s. Dracula and Rasputin managed to defeat her and supposedly kill her, but Bathory is notoriously hard to slay. True to her infamous reputation, she tends to “Feed” by bathing in the blood of her victims.

Power:Bathing in blood gives her an insane power boost; the longer she soaks, the stronger she gets. She can also absorb blood through her skin, though she can’t absorb the blood of supernatural beings this way.

Elvis Rey: Growing up near the border, Elvis always wanted to be like his hero, Elvis PResley. He obsessively watched the man’s performances and learned his every move. When the man died, he vowed he was going to become the greatest Elvis impersonator that ever lived. The 80s weren’t too kind to him, and drinking, gambling, and overeating left him looking like chubby later-years Elvis. With debt collectors crawling down his neck, he turned to Eve, and became a powerful vampire.

Power: He is capable of replicating any non-supernatural ability he sees. For example, if he watched a martial arts movie, he would be able to pull off those moves. Think the comic book character Taskmaster.

Inspirations: Elvis (Presley), Elvis (God Hand)

Giorgio Nero: Giorgio Nero was a member of Cosa Nostra who attempted to retire from this life due to his wife and child. However, his past would eventually catch up with him, and his child was nearly killed, which lead to Giorgio accepting an offer he had once rejected, but now couldn’t refuse: vampirism and joining with Eve’s coven. Despite everything, he is an honorable man who dearly loved his wife and adores and accepts his child.

Power: You know Magneto? Like from X-Men? Imagine that but instead of a Holocaust survivor it’s an Italian guy. Boom.

Inspirations: Magneto, Risotto Nero from Vento Aureo, Metlar from InHumanoids

James Wilson: James was born in 1812 as a slave. When he was 8, he was gifted to the man one of his master’s daughters married, along with 13 other slaves. As his former master’s name was Wilson, he took that as his surname. He worked as a stablehand until he became a farmer at age 12. After a rather brutal beating when he accidentally dropped a bag of freshly picked potatoes at age 25, James encountered Eve. She promised to help free him. She turned him into a vampire (1837). He lived on the run until the Emancipation Proclamation was issued and went into full effect in 1863. James used to speak in thick, Gullah speech, but over time, it has lessened as he acquired modern language.

Power: James’s power gives him the ability to summon and play with water. He can use it however he wishes: to drown someone, to create a small unnatural pool to swim in, or to cool someone off with a quick sprinkle. This comes from his silent love for water, though he wasn’t ever allowed to swim or play in it.

Inspiration: Splash Mountain

Juno Nero: The child of Giorgio Nero. They tend to wear long black coats, masks, and facial bandages to hide their face and body due to extreme anxiety. They are mute as well, and communicate via sign language. They are nonbinary.

Power: They can stretch their body like rubber (think Elastigirl, Rubber Band Man, Plastic Man, you get the idea).

Inspiration: Tendril from InHumanoids

Lady Drusilla Atterton: Born in 1852 in England as Drusilla Graham to a middle-class family. She grew up idolizing the wealthy and decided she would do whatever it took to become wealthy herself.Met Josiah Kipling, a 28 year old man, when she was 22. He fell madly in love with her. She was overjoyed as he was quite wealthy. They married in 1874 and had two daughters together (Katharine [1875] and Blanche [1877]). However, after 8 years of marriage (1882), Drusilla (now age 30) fell out of love with him and secretly laced his food with rat poison, ultimately killing him. As they had personal chefs, it was deemed to be the fault of the chef, who was arrested and charged with the crime. As his widow, she inherited a share of his wealth.Over the next 10 years (1882-1892), Drusilla married 8 other wealthy men from all over the country, all who mysteriously died less than a year later in what were deemed to be unfortunate accidents.

Donald Thompson, married in 1883, died in a carriage accident.

Maurice Parker, married in 1884, died of a laudanum overdose.

Timothy Edwards, married in 1886, died by drowning

Christopher Watson, married in 1887, died by falling out of a second story window

Nathaniel Harris, married in 1888, died of apparent suicide

Bernard Carter, married in 1890, died of a hunting accident

Percy Clarke, married in 1891, died after being attacked by a burglar

Timothy Atterton, married in 1892, died in bed (cause unknown)

She met Eve in 1892 shortly after marrying Timothy Atterton. Eve had heard of her reputation as the Cursed Widow (but knew full well her husbands’ deaths were her doing). As Eve was extremely weakened, Amon turned her. With Eve’s assistance, she killed her final husband by scaring him to death by introducing him to Eve. Drusilla vowed her loyalty.With the knowledge of how to turn another from Eve (as Amon refused to tell her how), Drusilla offered the gift of vampirism to each of her daughters. Katharine ( refused and cut herself off from her mother, instead choosing to live a full and honest life. Blanche, on the other hand, being so keen to be accepted and loved by her mother vowed her own loyalty to both her mother and Eve. When she turned 21, Drusilla turned her as well (as she was informed that youth would not survive the turning).

Power: Her power allows her to paralyze her target with a simple cold stare for a full 5 minutes.

Inspiration: Lady Tremaine from Cinderella

Lord Gordon Ruthven: A rich, aristocratic vampire who enjoyed luring in and preying on young women. He was part of the Order of the 19th century. He is currently a severed head, as his body was destroyed by the Silverwings.

Power: Can exude a charm aura that makes women more susceptible to his commands and desires, though it only works on women capable of being attracted to him (it would not work on lesbains, for instance).

Mabel Lockhart: A sickly young girl whose father made a deal with Eve to keep her from dying. Her dad is currently missing, and she is unsure if he’s even alive.

Power: She has the ability to absorb energy, such as steam energy, electrical energy, etc and gain boosts and power depending on what type she absorbs. For example, absorbing electrical energy would allow her to to shoot lightning. She can also absorb a person’s energy, but at most she can make them very lethargic and gets little else from absorbing that sort of energy.

Inspiration: Loosely based on the Pokemon Magearna

Maddox Hinton: Maddox was born in 1863 in a small town in England. He doesn’t talk much about his past, but he does boast about how he and his father were valued hypnotists in their small town. He was his father’s apprentice, learning how the art of hypnotism worked, though he wasn’t quite as successful as his father. This was what Eve used to convince him to turn to vampirism. It occurred when he was 25 and preparing to take over the family business.His power helped him convince his customers that they were actually under the effects of hypnotism. His father simply believed that taking over the business helped him tap into his true potential.

He continued this way until Eve demanded his help. He lied to his dad, telling him he was going to travel abroad and spread their business, causing his father to take over the business once again.Maddox served Eve for a few years before she told him she didn’t need his help anymore. It was likely this that irritated him so much that he eventually became loyal to Amon while under the very convincing facade he’s loyal to Eve.

The rest of his past is unknown. All he will often tell people is he traveled all over the world, performing great feats under fake names as “world-renown hypnotists”. Maddox is a wild card. He does things for the fun of it or for his own pleasure, often without any sympathy towards others.

Power: Maddox’s power allows him to take control of another (similarly to Gabby’s). However, he can take control of up to two people at once. Instead of physically puppeteering them, he simply suggests they do something and they do it.

Inspiration: Vex from Lost Girl

Margaret Derwin: Margaret was born in New York City in 1902. She grew up with a love for music, particularly singing. She had dreams of becoming a famous singer.When she was 18, she pursued these dreams. She got a job as a dancer at a speakeasy with hopes of, eventually, being able to become one of their singers in time. It was there that she met Elizabeth, one of the other dancers. They secretly fell in love (which answered Margaret’s confusion about why she wasn’t interested in men). Eventually, they decided to run away to California together. They made plans and prepared for this, but on the day it was to happen, Elizabeth never showed up. Margaret later discovered she had changed her mind and, instead, was going to marry a man she’d met at the speakeasy.Eve found Margaret heartbroken and wandering the streets looking for a new job after quitting at the speakeasy (as it was too difficult to continue working there when Elizabeth was still there). Eve easily wooed her to her side. Though, as Margaret had good intentions, Amon had eventually been able to convince her to assist him instead as he wanted to ensure Eve would stop preying on innocent people like herself.

Power: Margaret’s power involves her voice. Through singing, she can influence one’s emotions depending on her intentions (anger them, seduce them, calm them down, soothe them to sleep).

Nora: Nora’s memories are very faded. She knows she was born to a very poor family in Ireland. She knows she was sold as an indentured servant at age 13 in exchange for her tickets to America, board, and food. She knows she worked for that American family for 7 years. She knows she caught influenza and was promptly fired by the family for fear she’d infect them all. She knows she was near death, wandering the streets alone, when a massive black snake promised to save her. At the time, Nora believed it was just an illusion. She found out the next day, however, that it was not. She’d been saved by the gift of vampirism.Nora lived a long, long time as a homeless woman. She watched as America grew into a country of its own. She preyed on any she could find in order to survive. Eventually, she took residence in an abandoned house on a street. Over time, rumors spread that a ghost lived in the house on Blackwell Street. Her appearance and her power did much to add to this as well, as did the occasional mysterious deaths of those who wandered into the house hoping to catch a glimpse of the ghost.

Power: Nora’s power allows her to become visible or invisible on command. She can only switch from one to the other every 10 minutes. She often uses this to frighten mortals and uphold her identity as the Ghost of Blackwell Street.

Tony Sugar: Tony Sugar is the owner, spokesman, and iconic figure of the Lost Paradise Candy Company. With the help of Amon, he became one of the first successful Black candy makers in America. He’s very flamboyant, campy, and charismatic—essentially a black Willy Wonka. He is pansexual because, in his own words, “everyone deserves a little Sugar.” He is also an avid beekeeper.

Power: He has the power to “mellify” corpses, filling them with a honey-like substance and turning them into zombies.

Inspirations: Tony Todd’s Candyman, Ruby Rhod, the song “Sweet Bod,” the myth of the mellified man

Walter Sherman: Formerly a college professor and devoted family man from the dawn of the 20th century, Walter was a good man known for always thinking forward and being able to accept new changes in the world. However, when a freak accident claimed the life of his wife and child, he couldn’t handle it and attempted suicide before being saved by Amon. He’s mostly in the coven out of loyalty to Amon.

Power: He has the power of adaptability, allowing him to easily adapt to any situation. For example, using lightning against him would make him adapt lightning resistance.

Inspirations: The Carousel of Progress

Wayne Nicol: A formerly friendly clown who was forced to witness unspeakable horrors during WWII. He survived the horrors, but was left fundamentally disturbed by the nightmare he had lived through. He joined the coven hoping to find some sort of safety, but as it turned out, Eve had other plans.

Power: Has the power to control and manipulate a person’s fears to weaponize against them.

Inspirations: Scarecrow (Batman), Pennywise, Freddy Krueger, The Day the Clown Cried

#The vampirino story

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xiolaperry · 4 years

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The Piano

Notes: My Camp NaNoWriMo Project for April 2020. A Rumbelling of the 1993 movie 'The Piano'. Has 15 chapters, all are written. I’ll post one every few days. Some dialogue is taken directly from the film and from 'Once Upon a Time'. No copyright infringement intended - I'm just having fun. The film is gorgeous, if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend that you watch it.

Summary: Belle French and her daughter arrive in New Zealand to an arranged marriage with Gaston LeGume. Gaston shows little interest in her or her piano and books. However, Mr. Gold is fascinated...

Rating: E (for future chapters) Also available on AO3.

Prologue

The voice you hear is not my speaking voice, but my mind's.

I have not spoken since I was six years old. No one knows why, not even me. My father says it is a dark talent and the day I take it into my head to stop breathing will be my last.

Today he has married me to a man I've not met. Soon my daughter and I shall join him in his own country. My husband has written that my muteness does not bother him.

I hope he has patience, for silence affects everyone in the end.

The strange thing is I don't think of myself as silent, because of my piano. I shall miss it, and my books, on the journey.

Chapter 1

Belle looked down at the sand between her feet. It rushed away from her and back again in the cold seawater. Poor Tilly hunched over, ill from their turbulent journey in the small boat from the ship to the beach.

The rough sailors unloading their cargo dwarfed diminutive Belle. She watched them, concerned for her books and piano. She was less interested in the other boxes and valises that held her trousseau and other household goods.

The men complained bitterly about the heavy trunks and the awkward crate. Their language was shocking. Perhaps they thought her deaf too? It wouldn't be the first time. Belle struggled to keep a smile on her face.

She could relax now that her three most precious things were ashore: her daughter, her books, and her piano. Full of curiosity at her unfamiliar surroundings, she did not know where to look first. She had read about New Zealand before they left. The descriptions of the flora and fauna, and the Maori people, fascinated her. She gazed about the desolate beach and the rocky cliffs in the distance, topped with verdant green foliage. The wind tugged at her hair. This was her grand adventure. She would be brave for herself and her daughter. Maurice, her father, hadn't given her much choice in the matter, but it was an adventure nonetheless. There weren't many opportunities for women back home. Perhaps it would be different here.

During the long days of their journey, she had spun endless tales with her hands. Of heroes and beasts, of princesses meeting princes and epic quests. Would a prince be waiting for them? She didn't know. But Tilly loved stories and would embellish them with details of her own, a habit she also indulged in as Belle's interpreter.

A few of the men were hesitant to leave tiny Belle French and her nine-year-old daughter alone on the beach. Their group was not yet there to meet them. She wanted them and their rough words gone. She signed to Tilly, who told them, “She says, 'Thank you for bringing our belongings. We will be fine here. Please leave us. We insist.'”

With that, the seamen left, pushing their boats across the sand and back onto the waves. Belle and Tilly were alone on the vast expanse of shoreline. They arranged their possessions around the piano and trunks of books. She sat down on one of them with Tilly's head on her lap. A plank of the large crate that held her piano had split. She pulled at it and reached her hand inside to stroke the smooth keys. She played a tune one-handed, bringing them both comfort.

After Tilly rested, Belle got her favorite book from her satchel. She had kept ‘Her Handsome Hero’ with her for the journey. The rest of her books waited, wrapped in their waterproof canvas inside her trunks. Tilly read their favorite chapter aloud.

Belle felt the first gnawing of concern for their safety alone on the beach when the sun sank golden on the horizon. But she made it into a game for Tilly, finding dry wood to start a fire and fashioning a makeshift tent from her crinoline cage and petticoats. Inside the little cocoon, Tilly interrupted Belle's story of a beautiful princess and a dark sorcerer. Grabbing her hands, she said, “Mama, I've been thinking. I bet he's not a prince. He's not even here. I'm NOT going to call him Papa. I'm not going to call him anything.”

Belle stroked her daughter's face, refusing to be drawn into a disagreement. Tilly quieted and soon sleep claimed them.

In the forest's dampness traveled eight Maori men, an old woman, and two European men. Gaston Legume walked stiffly, his manner one of disdain for the surrounding vegetation. He had been living in New Zealand for several years. He had made himself some money right away, logging his property of valuable large trees used to build masts for ships, but now it was a constant fight to keep the land clear. Unlike the Maori who walked with grace through the underbrush, Gaston had an axe to beat it away. Nature, like some people, needed a firm hand and confidence.

He knew he was handsome, with his height and ebony hair, and took pride in his appearance. This morning he had taken pains with his dress and was resentful of the humidity that was ruining his look. He wanted to be at his best to greet his new wife. He stopped to comb his hair and took a moment to study the photo he had of her. Belle French was beautiful. She looked calm and sounded reasonable in her letter. She would be a worthy companion. After all the waiting, he would meet her soon.

Mr. Gold was the other European man of the party. None of them knew his first name, which was how he wanted it. Names were important. They had power. The Maori respected him for it. The settlers saw it as more proof of his misanthropic nature.

Gaston had asked for his help with the Maori, needing assistance to carry his new bride's possessions. But Gaston did not speak their language and did not deign to learn it. Gold was fluent (another strike against him in the settler’s minds). So he went along to fetch the woman and her daughter. And Gaston now owed him a favor.

With the aid of a walking stick, he was more graceful than the lumbering Gaston. Gold was slight where Gaston was broad, quiet and observant where Gaston was brash and stubborn. Gaston was well-liked. At least, he appeared to be. Gold was not. Except by the Maori and Granny. Granny had left the settlement and joined the Maori people, learning their language and customs, after her husband died and no one else did anything to help her. He didn’t care about the rest of the settlers, there wasn’t a genuine one in the bunch. They came to this new land and expected it to bend to their will, to change into the same society they had left. Gold had no patience for them. They resented him because of the property he owned, the money he had and the influence he wielded over the locals.

The group continued on through the vegetation and reached the sand below. In the distance, they could see a collection of boxes, a crate, and trunks. A tiny figure appeared to be dancing about. As soon as she noticed they had company, she ran to a woman sitting next to the largest crate.

Belle watched the odd group come toward them. There was a tall, well dressed man and natives attired in all manner of eccentric clothes adorned with feathers and beads. One even wore a top hat. A slight man and an old woman with a crossbow brought up the rear. She stood up. This was it.

Gaston approached his bride. She was small, tiny actually. Barely larger than the child she had with her.

“Miss French. I am Gaston Legume,” he said with a bow.

Belle smiled politely and curtsied. He was too tall. He towered over her. But it wasn't fair to hold that against him. He did have the face of the prince Tilly hoped for.

“I have men here to carry your things,” he continued. He knew she didn't speak, but he expected her to show some excitement. “CAN – YOU – HEAR – ME?” His tone brought to mind that of a man speaking to a dim-witted child.

Belle nodded, keeping her smile firmly fixed on her face and smothering her irritation. This was not the most auspicious of beginnings.

Gold watched these first interactions from a short distance away. Of course she could hear. Anyone with a brain could see she was listening to everything that was going on. Her blue eyes sparkled with intelligence. How long would it take this girl to figure out she was married to a conceited fool?

---

End Notes: A huge thank you to the Rumbelle Writers' Realm at Camp Nano- I couldn't have done it without your encouragement: @emospritelet @peacehopeandrats @eirian-houpe @blueboxesanddeerstalkers @kelyon @worryinglyinnocent @jackabelle73 @avatoh @reolf @mrs-stiltskin. Special thanks to @jackabelle73 and @blueboxesanddeerstalkers for beta reading!

#rumbelle fic #arranged marriage au #my fic #camp nano 2020

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polygamyff · 5 years

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Ramen noodle Odell must just forget ever meeting Robbie, when Maurice sees those pictures his going to lose it. I have faith he’ll be in LA himself to “bring Reign home” lol. Robbie was so bold texting him & when he wanted to talk to her she acted, dumb, deaf & blind 😂 I have hope they’ll get back together

Ramen noodle Odell... I hate you :(. Lnfhdhhdhdhdh Robyn was so mute 😩😩😩. That woman still loves him with her whole heart, she is just hurt by him. Her bold ass asking for dick and then goes mute

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ebouks · 2 years

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The Deaf-Mute Boy by Joseph Geraci

The Deaf-Mute Boy Joseph Geraci The Deaf-Mute Boy—equal parts travel story, love story, and a resonant confrontation with the Muslim world—is the tale of a gay American professor immersed in a North African society. Maurice Burke, an archaeologist, is invited to speak at a conference in the bustling port town of Sousse, Tunisia. At first disillusioned by its rampant tourism and squalid…

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avanneman · 7 years

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War for the Planet of the Apes: Silence is golden, so it would seem

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Back in the day, I used to work as a contractor with the National Commission for Education Statistics. Whenever we put out a report, we agonized, not over data, but over pictures. We have to send the right message here! We need Hispanic kids and black kids! The black boy is looking down the microscope? Can’t we have a black girl for that? This is a math report! Aren’t there too many Asian kids on the cover? And this kid! He could be American Indian, couldn’t he? And what about Hawaiian natives? And Alaskan natives!

Yes, we worried about things like that. We worried about girls who were too pretty (or, absolutely the worst of all, sexy.) We didn’t have the budget to go out and hire models, which we didn’t want to do anyway, but when you’re using unposed pictures, well, did the kids give their permission to be photographed in the first place? If only there were some sort of generic, all in one and one in all kid you could use, that would please everyone and offend no one!

Well, surprisingly enough, life in DC can be a lot like life in Hollywood, except of course in Hollywood they’re smarter, because they have found generic all in one and one in all sympathy figures: Apes!

I am a severe late comer to the whole planet of the apes thing, passing on the Charlton Heston1 original and passing on all the sequels and reboots that have, well, rebooted themselves, but I’m damned if I’ll pay to see a rebooted Spiderman, and War for the Planet … has been an unqualified smash, 98% at Rotten Tomatoes! So naturally I saw it and so naturally I’m going to bitch.

A week or so ago I bemoaned the fact that Baby Driver sought to yank if not actually masturbate our heart strings by equipping “Baby” (Ansel Elgort) with a step dad who is both black and deaf—how cute is that?—and by having Baby (who can, of course, talk natural) sign with dad as well.2 Yes, we do find the deaf touching, and signing is touching too. And speaking of touching, you know what else is touching? Apes! Oh yeah! You see where I’m going with this? How about a whole nation of apes—chimps, mostly, but gorillas and orangutans too—and they all sign? And we’ve got a hero who signs and talks! Who needs ethnicity when we’ve got apes? Signing apes!

Okay, since you’re probably seen earlier “Apes” films—I’m assuming you’re less of a culture snob than I am—this is probably old news to you. But I was a total virgin to this stuff, and since I didn’t have my bifocals with me, I couldn’t read the backstory in the screen, but it didn’t take long to figure—apes good, humans bad. Except for this one human who—wait for it—can’t talk.

It’s perfectly okay to create a world of humanized animals for any purpose whatsoever, from Beatrice Potter’s Peter Rabbit to Swift’s houyhnhnms and yahoos (arguably, the “source” of the whole “apes” thing in the first place). I myself created a whole galaxy of mostly giant insects for my hero, Vorak of Kolnap, an amiable (usually) six-foot cockroach. But I find It a bit silly to romanticize apes for having human qualities which they in fact do not have while demonizing humans for having qualities which we, well, which we do have but which we share in some manner with our simian cousins.

The specific plot of War is set in motion when the evil “Colonel” (Woody Harrelson) kills “Cornelia” (Judy Greer) wife of signin’ and speakin’ boss ape Caesar (Andy Serkis)3, as well as the elder of their two sons, “Blue Eyes” (Max Lloyd-Jones4). Caesar sets off with “Rocket” (Terry Notary), a fellow chimp, along with “Red” (Ty Olsson), a gorilla, and Maurice (Karin Konoval), an orangutan (a very large orangutan), who may be part Vulcan (just a guess) to avenge their deaths.

What follows can best described as the drippings and leavings of Star Wars, Star Trek, some bad-ass posturing from Apocalypse Now, and a big chunk of the Book of Exodus. Our searchers pick up an ally in “Bad Ape” (Steve Zahn), another chimp, who comes across as a less racist (fortunately) Jar-Jar Binks, who seems to spend a lot of time falling down holes. Funny!5 Also they pick up this sweet chick “Nova” (Amiah Miller), a mute who is the only female of any species to get decent screen time.

Is it rude to point out that male chimps don’t hug their sons? That’s because they don’t know they have sons! They aren’t “faithful” to their “wives”, which they don’t have. Struggles for male dominance within a chimp troop frequently lead to mutilation or death, and conflicts between groups can be equally lethal, sometimes resulting in cannibalism.6 I’m sorry, but it’s silly to contrast “innocent” apes with wicked humans by assigning to apes virtues that they don’t have, that only humans even conceive of. All the sexual morality that War for the Planet of the Apes attributes to apes is found—to the extent that it is found—only among humans, because morality is a human construct—which is why we find it so easy, and, often, so exciting, to violate.

As I’ve suggested, there are no “strong” females in this film, and, as far as I could tell, no LGBT apes either, which, after all, could be kind of fun. They could distill chartreuse and give each other apish attitude—“Either this banana tree goes or I do”. That sort of thing.

Am I the only one who notices this stuff? I mean, in the year of Wonder Woman, a critical smash/blockbuster that’s virtually chick-free? And I could also complain about the geography. First it’s tropic, like, Africa, then they’re in the “North”, and then it’s pretty definitely Monument Valley, where John Ford used to shoot all his westerns, before ending up by a lake that looks like a pre-development Tahoe. How chimps are supposed to survive in an environment like that is anybody’s guess.

Earlier, the chimps are building this huge wall for the Colonel that’s almost like the ancient Hebrews making bricks for old Pharaoh without straw. And when they reach the, you know, “Promised Land”, and then Caesar dies, it’s sort of like Moses, or since they’re clearly in the American West it’s like if the Indians got away from the white folks and got their country back. So why not do a remake of Exodus if that’s what it really is? Or an outright Indian picture, if that’s what it is?

Well, Hebrews—Jews, really—that can be controversial. You might be sending the wrong message. And if you did an Indian picture, well, the Indians would probably want in on it, would want Indians in the lead roles. And when did an Indian carry a picture? I’m trying to be realistic here.

But apes, Jesus. Everybody loves apes. Everybody!

Afterwords It's "interesting" that all of the critics who are falling all over themselves for the cheesy sentimentality of "Apes" are also falling all over themselves over the campy cynicism of Game of Thrones, which is pretty much The Sopranos with dragons or maybe Lord of the Rings without any good guys.

Why can’t Word spell “Heston”? What is the deal here, Bill? ↩︎

The shtick of gaining sympathy for a speaking character by endowing him/her with the ability to sign goes back at least as far as Lily Tomlin’s character in Robert Altman’s Nashville. ↩︎

In “real life”, of course, Julius Caesar’s wife was named Cornelia. I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean. ↩︎

I don’t know why Max gets a credit, because I don’t remember Blue Eyes doing anything except die. I guess the guy has a good agent. ↩︎

The slapstick here was so sloppy that at first I couldn’t believe it was supposed to be funny. Largely because it wasn’t. ↩︎

None of the apes ever show their canines, which, in gorillas especially, are quite “impressive”, not to mention scary as hell. But apparently admitting that apes sometimes bite would be “sending the wrong message”. ↩︎

#War for the Planet of the Apes #irony #2017 movies

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texting-an-alien · 8 years

Text

The Welders: Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Family Reunion

The Celtic camp looked more gypsy than anything. There weren’t many adults, some were older than others, yet it didn’t look like anyone was old enough to have children. There was one woman who must have been 20 wearing a dirty orange apron and a jean button up shirt. She merely waved at Patrick and smiled at me before returning to her pot that was over a fire.

“Macei got here a week ago, she’s not even the newest. I’m telling you, it’s completely normal for new people to get here," Patrick explained.

I nodded slowly as we passed a few more lean-to’s and tents, some empty some not.

“So, this is Lee and Delia’s, that’s Ferris’s, there’s Mikey, Milo, and Maurice’s, and then there’s Flynn’s," he listed, pointing to them all as we stopped and looked across the grassy and rocky area to a line of homes. “And this," Patrick said turning back to the cloth shelter behind us. “Is Cameron Gunn and Griffin Lockhart's lovely tent."

A girl was sitting in the grass, her brilliantly colored skirt, which was contrasted against the dark ground, flared around her. Wrapped around her shoulders was a knitted scarf. Her hair was a dark brown, nearly the color of her skin, with no exception to her eyes which were so dark they nearly blended in with her pupils. Her arms were not only littered with leather and braided bracelets but also with white and black tattoos, almost like Barney. When she saw Patrick she smiled, and looked back down to whatever she was working on, her fingers moving skillfully and brilliantly.

“Is that Patty I hear?” Someone shouted from inside the small shelter. It was very scottish, different from the other voices.

“Oh shut up and get out here, there’s someone I want you to meet," Patrick retorted and rolled his eyes jokingly. The name Griffin sounded familiar, it was such an odd name that it would definitely stick in my mind.

‘Griffin’ pulled back the blanket for a door and joined the girl outside.

He had slightly long brown hair, a crooked nose with a black nose ring on the right side. He had multiple tattoos on his shoulders and neck, apparently “Welders” were very fond of tattoos which I am completely not judging for. I personally have always wanted a tattoo I just haven’t seen many people my age allowed to have the amount of tattoos I had seen today.

But what was so strange about him wasn’t the tattoos but his eyes. One was brown while the other was green.

I must have been staring because I felt a sharp pain in my ribs from Patrick elbowing me. I nearly fell over before catching myself and looking back to Griffin.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I’m Amy," I said quickly and stuck my hand out.

Griffin chuckled and took it, shaking, and saying in yes, a very scottish accent, “It’s fine, really. I’m Griffin. I was wondering who the newbie was, I noticed you walking with Patty here."

“I am not against punching you Griffin," Patrick muttered. “This is my cousin, she just found out she’s one of us."

“Oh, fun cousin Amy? Wonderful, maybe you can keep Patrick in check," Griffin teased and crouched down next to who I could only assume to be Cameron.

“Cami, this is Amy, she’s Patrick's cousin," Griffin spoke slowly while twisting and turning his hands. Even though I couldn’t understand it, I recognized it as sign language.

“Cameron's deaf and mute. She can sometimes hear though," Patrick whisper explained and a sudden sadness washed over me. It wasn’t that I felt bad for her, it was more of a mix of empathy and sympathy. I didn’t feel pity for her but at the same time I did.

“And yet she is still a lot smarter than the rest of us," Griffin said loudly while Cameron smiled and quickly signed back.

“She says hello, and that you’re very beautiful," Griffin translated and stood back up.

All I could do was smile because honestly I didn’t know what to say. I think it was suddenly hitting me that a bunch of people, who were in fact so human you wouldn’t think there was anything special about them.

“You alright," Patrick asked, touching my shoulder.

“Fine, I’m not sure why I froze. Um, it was wonderful to meet you guys," I replied, trying to back off the fact I may have spaced out for more than 30 seconds.

Patrick quickly said goodbye to them and we continued walking, this time Patrick put his arm around my shoulders. We said hello to a few other people as we walked. I was introduced to so many people that I wasn’t sure how I was going to remember anyone's name.

Everyone there had their own personality or something that was so special about themselves. Whether it was their accents, odd hair styles, the amount of siblings they had, how many tattoos were on their body, or how many fingers they had. Yes, Jared only had 8 fingers all together.

“So, everyone here is...?” I asked as we began to walk back to the trailer.

“You said it. ‘Yer a wizard Harry," he said in a very Hagrid accent. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’m a what!?” I said back, nudging him and acting surprised.

“We probably should go get some dinner, it’s been like hours since you ate," Patrick said as we came to the ridged and rusted door of the trailer.

I hadn’t realized it but it had suddenly gotten darker out, the sun was actually setting. But that was impossible, I had gotten here at around lunch and now it looked like it was 6:30 in the evening.

“Have I actually been here for hours?” I asked.

“Uh, not really. You know how we were talking about our ancestors wanting stuff from the Wiccan’s? Well one of the ancestors wanted eternal life and while they couldn’t actually do that, they were able to slow and speed up time. They sped up the day and slowed our body...aging...rate. Now it's just gone to a few choice areas around the world," Patrick explained slowly because not even he knew how to explain it.

“Hang on then how come everything is normal back at grams house?”

“Well obviously because gram's house isn’t a super secret wizard hide out in the middle of a forest," Patrick said, mimicking me from earlier.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to explain all that to me later."

“Well we have a few minutes, we’ll probably end up at Griffin’s for food, I can try to explain some things right now," he offered and opened the door.

“Well what else am I gonna do?” I sighed sarcastically and entered the hippie trailer first.

+++++++++

“Alright so, first things first, ampoules," Patrick began after handing me a water bottle from a mini-fridge. “How would you explain a welder?”

“Someone who uses metal and glass and crap and sticks them together to make...stuff," I replied.

“Sounds about right. Well way back when we began to pick up pieces of magic from the Wiccan’s, they began to trust our ancestors more and more and eventually allowed us to have some magic. An ampoule was our way of containing that magic seeing as how we didn’t and couldn’t have it in our veins. The official definition is-”

“Something to carry liquid in. Wikipedia explained," I interrupted and felt a great amount of pride for actually knowing something.

“Correct, one point Amy. Anyway, through the years we’ve continued to create or “weld” magic, keeping it in the ampoules," Patrick continued.

“Are you telling me that that glass ball that I nearly broke has actual ancestral magic in it?” I summarized, astonished at what I had been holding. Only then did I remember that the ampoule was still in Barney’s office.

“Yep. And since it is incredibly difficult to create super powerful capsules to contain super powerful magic, they’ve been passed down from from millions of years ago. At some point our ancestors put the tools down and just got fed up with creating glass over and over."

“That ampoule was my dad’s?” I carefully asked, feeling like I needed to wash my hands in some bleach.

“Uh, no. It was your… mom’s," he replied slowly, refusing to look me in the eyes.

“You said the Celtic weldy part was on my dad’s side. How is it my mom’s?”

“Your mom was also a Welder. Your dad was just more Welder. Grams and Grandpa were both Welders while your grandma on your mom's side was the only Welder. You just get more Welder from your dad," he said then added quickly, “Unfortunately."

“Well, that’s freaking fantastic," I muttered and took a long drink from the water bottle. “Just so that we can stop talking about the black sheep, if aging moves really slowly here how old are you?”

Patrick chuckled and said, “Don’t worry, I’m still 16. I spend more time out of here which means I age at a normal rate. I’m probably like a few months older if anything. Barney on the other hand…” He slowly trailed off.

I was suddenly very intrigued. “How old is Barney? Is he like 100 years old? Like a vampire?”

“Let’s just say that he doesn’t ever leave the camp. Ever.”

“Oh my gosh, he is literally Barney the Dinosaur," I whispered to myself, loud enough that Patrick could hear because he began laughing so much he had to hide his face.

“Just don’t tell him that," The blonde said, catching his breath and continuing to chuckle afterwards.

“Do you have one?” I asked. I knew he did but I just to see it.

“Obviously, we get them once we turn 8. There’s a whole blood ceremony that goes with it so you can be binded with it," he said and stood reaching over my head to an overhanging cupboard and opened it. He pulled a small engraved tin box out and opened it, revealing green velvet and a round crystal, exactly like my mothers. “We usually keep them with us but sometimes leave them in secure places."

“Because leprechauns are in so much danger," I replied as he put the box back.

I had only been here for a few hours and this already felt normal. I felt like this was a normal thing and there could potentially be a lot of this in the future. Sitting around and making jokes.. It sounded a lot like every other night at grams house.

Oh my goodness...grams.

“What are we going to tell grams?” I brought up.

“Well you won’t have to worry about me afterwards, just don’t bury me in the family mausoleum. It’s my only wish. We’ve got a cemetery exactly for this reason," Patrick explained.

I was about to ask what the wall was about but a gentle knock came from the door. Outside was Cameron, now wearing an extremely long, vintage, felt coat over her black tank-top. She only signed one thing, then turned around and began walking back to her tent.

“Foods ready," Patrick explained and began to move to the back of the trailer. “I’m going to get changed real fast. Do you want to wait here or go ahead?”

“I think I’ll wait here, not ready to meet the rest of the family on my own," I chose and stood, leaning against the door that creaked under my shoulder. Patrick shrugged then pulled back a curtain that I assumed either led to the only room or a bathroom.

When he reappeared he wore a flannel and khaki pants, I was sensing fashion among the Welders. I would have to go shopping if I was to become the next Criss Angel of Oregon. As we walked, I noticed other people joining up and bringing food to other tents and I suddenly felt very empty handed.

“Should we be bringing a casserole or something?” I asked and stuck my hands into my pockets.

“You just got here, I think Griffin and Cami will let you off this time," he answered.

“Are they like together or something? I thought they were brother and sister but they have different last names."

“Nope, just really good friends ever since Cameron showed up. Plus Griffin was the only one who knew sign language."

“That’s completely sensible. They seem nice," I replied. Patrick didn’t respond just kind of nodded and kept walking. The camp seemed a lot more active at night.

Everyone was crowded around a plethora of fires or dutch ovens. There were different assortments of smells, some I recognized, some I didn’t. I hadn’t noticed before, but there was a small stone well the the triplets were currently serving everyone in tin mugs. When I turned back to Cameron and Griffins camp, I noticed Lee and Delia were already there, huddled under a wool blanket.

“We figured you’d come here. Patrick never cooks. Even if he could without burning down half the forest, he still wouldn’t," Lee said, noticing us. I couldn’t help but chuckle, very much aware of my cousins culinary skills while Patrick only grumbled something and sat cross legged on the ground.

Griffin was the one to serve food. It was a vegetable stew with meat that appeared to be something like chicken, and a chunk of bread. Honestly, everything was amazing. It just felt very… healthy. That was one thing I was definitely not used to.

“Griffin," I asked, dipping my bread into the bowl and taking a large bite. “What kind of meat is this?”

“Fox," he replied as he took a large swig from his water bottle. My eyes widened and Patrick began to chuckle as Griffin quickly said, “Chill, it’s deer. Like I would ever kill a fox."

As I sat next to Patrick, I didn’t really need to say anything because everything seemed so calm and normal. Between eating was teasing and joking, but other than that it was just silent and everyone seemed okay with that. People from other tents came around and said hello, offered carrots and rolls, and then left. Lee got up a few times to go refill water bottles at the well, but other than that we all stayed in our spots, too cold to actually think about moving.

It was nearly 45 minutes into dinner when I was serving myself some more stew from the side of Cameron's tent. Delia came beside me and reached over, grabbing bread and carrots.

“I wanted to apologize," she said, just as I was about to put the ladle down.

“For what?” I asked, slightly oblivious and somehow still knowing what she meant.

“The way I was acting before. It was a total jerk move and I swear I am not always like that… it’s just. Actually I don’t know what it was.... just, I’m sorry," she stuttered.

Even though she wasn’t really good at explaining, I kind of understood what she was saying.

“Don’t worry about it Delia, really. I’m sorry for calling you Regina George," I apologized.

“I kind of deserved it though."

“Yeah you kind of did," I agreed and she laughed, looking back to the fire. “Is it always like this? Everyone is so friendly and sweet. It’s weird."

“Yeah, normally. On rainy days we go into Barney’s place, he’s got a massive kitchen. I guess it’s not weird for us because it’s always been like this. Well for Lee and I anyway," Delia explained.

I didn’t say anything for a moment. We were both still standing at the side of the tent, watching everyone laughing and chatting. Cameron and Griffin seemed to be in a very deep conversation and every now and then she would throw pieces of bread at his forehead.

“Are you going to stay here?” Delia suddenly asked.

I looked at her shocked before replying, “Uhm, I wasn’t even aware that was an option."

“Well of course it’s an option, we all made that choice a long time ago. You may have been here for only a few hours but what you’ve learned so far is only the beginning. You could learn how to make and even use magic. It’s honestly really exciting."

“For how long? I mean, where are all the adults. There are only like three- not counting Barney," I asked.

“They usually go back to Scotland or Ireland. After being at a camp for so long, they go back to the main source. Some because they want more power, some because they want family. My parents live in Ireland, we visit them every so often, but we’ve all just adapted to not having our parents around 24/7/ Either way, you can learn so much from everyone here. Who knows, you could become the most powerful not so Wiccan witch ever," she encouraged.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “You are definitely more enjoyable now."

“I’m not so sure about you though," Delia replied, smiled, then went back to her brother.

Lee looked to me, who was still smiling, and motioned to his sister in a kind of “what did she do this time?” gesture. I quickly shook my head and smiled as he went back to stuffing his face like he had been for the past hour.

It would be another 10 minutes before Patrick decided it was getting too late and that it was time that we should head back across camp. I had already figured out that everyone didn’t have a bedtime and stayed up a lot longer, it was clear because so far I was the only one having a yawn attack.

“Are you taking me home?” I asked sleepily as I leaned against Patrick, trying to walk straight.

“The trailer is going to be your home for tonight," he responded and put a supporting arm around my shoulders, pulling me up. I leaned further into him and heard him chuckle as I yawned yet again.

After tossing me a old pair of sweatpants, I laid on the couch while he went and changed. I didn’t see him reappear but I could feel myself being lifted up and set on his bed, heavy blankets being pulled over me.

“Goodnight ‘cuz," Patrick whispered as he yanked the small chain to the plastic crystal chandelier that was hanging over the bed and laid down on the couch, pulling one of the many blankets over him.

The last thing I remember is myself mumbling, “But I didn’t brush my teeth."

#the welders #thewelders #book #read #reader #write #writer #wiccan #wicca #magic #fiction #fictional #fantasy #witch

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