#Matei 18

[ciochinaflorin]

49 I 2024. DUMNEZEU ȘTIE CE GÂNDESC ȘI CE VOI ROSTI [Matei 12.34]

49 I 2024. DUMNEZEU ȘTIE CE GÂNDESC ȘI CE VOI ROSTI I Podcast I Pasaje Biblice : Matei 12 : 34 I Psalmul 139 : 4 I Daniel 5 : 1 – 4 I Meditaţii din Cuvânt I Cezareea I Reşiţa I 18 Februarie 2024 I Dumnezeu știe ce gândesc și ce voi rosti. Noi cunoaștem că Dumnezeu știe nu numai ce avem în inimă, ci și ce vom scoate afară de acolo la un moment dat. Continue reading 49 I 2024. DUMNEZEU ȘTIE CE…

[teapartyprincess4two]

Parenthood- M. Sturniolo

pairing: Mom!reader x Dad!Matt

classification: SFW & NSFW headcannons

inspiration: request

warnings: some 18+ content, use of Y/n, established relationship, I didn’t name the children but Matt has a son and a daughter in this 👍🏻

summary: head cannons of dad!Matt.

Parenthood- C. Sturniolo (Chris’s Version)

—

☆SFW

From the moment Matt met you, he knew he wanted you to be the mother of his children. Both of your children were received with so much love and joy, but Matt still had to learn how to navigate being a boy dad and a girl dad.

☆ Your firstborn is a boy and Matt can’t contain the excitement he feels when he first finds out.

☆ He’s overprotective of you throughout the entire pregnancy, ready to take care of your every need.

☆ Your son is hyper, rambunctious, curious and a force to be reckoned with. He barges into the room with so much energy balled up into his small figure that he’s bouncing off the walls.

☆ When your daughter is born, she’s the complete opposite of your son. She’s calm, quiet, and docile.

☆ It takes Matt some time to adjust to having a baby girl, but as soon as he gets in the groove of it he can’t remember what life was like before having a daughter.

☆ Matt’s playing soccer outside with your son, playing pirates, boxing, and building elaborate Lego sets with him.

☆ “No dad! We’re pirates! We have to steal all the gold!” your son explains, adjusting his make-shift eyepatch.

☆ “I thought we were ninjas?!” Matt’s out of breath, running after a fast toddler was extremely tiring.

☆ “No! We just beat the ninjas! They tried sneaking onto the ship, remember?” Your son’s imagination was too fast for Matt to keep up with.

☆ “Argh matey,” Matt replies, ready to continue with the game.

☆ But when your daughter wants attention he’s playing dress up, attending a tea party, getting his nails and makeup done, and talking to all her stuffed animals.

☆ “Daddy Miss Twinkle is mad at you for eating her cookies!” your daughter whispers, almost like she’s gossiping.

☆ Matt has lost track over which stuffed animal is which, but he’s assuming Miss Twinkle is the unicorn across from him.

☆ “I’m sorry Miss Twinkle,” he apologizes, shaking the toy’s hand.

☆ “Dad that was Lady Unicorn. Miss Twinkle is the teddy bear in the pink dress,” your daughter slaps her forehead. “Oops,” he laughs, taking a fake sip of tea.

☆ Matt has learned to be silly, fatherhood softening him and allowing him to abandon all embarrassment.

☆ “What are you wearing?” you laugh, Matt’s serious face adding to the comedy of the situation.

☆ He’s fully decked out in a pizza costume, trying to make your children laugh. “I’m a piece of pizza,” he replies goofily, putting on his best Italian accent.

☆ “You’re so silly daddy,” your son giggles. In his eyes, Matt is the funniest person on the planet.

☆ Your daughter is not as amused, but she smiles nonetheless.

☆ Matt loves doing domestic things with his little family. He’ll randomly pull out a baking sheet, all the ingredients to make cookies, and throw on an apron.

☆ “You’re doing so good, baby,” he coos, watching as your daughter throws an entire, uncracked egg into the mixing bowl. He wasn’t going to use that batch, but the words of encouragement have her smiling.

☆ Children fight all the time, especially when they’re siblings, and your kids are no exception. The year age gap doesn’t help either, so you’ll often find your kids bickering over the smallest things.

☆ “It’s not your turn to play, though!” your son attempts to reason, yanking the controller out of his sisters hands.

☆ “You played all day bozo!” she replies, sticking her tongue out at him.

☆ Matt hears the fight from his room, reluctantly getting up from his comfortable spot on his bed and walking over to where his children are.

☆ “What’s going on?” he asks, arms crossed and a displeased look etched on his face.

☆ “She’s being so annoying, dad!” your son exclaims, and before Matt knows it his kids are pushing, slapping, and punching each other.

☆ “HEY! BEHAVE!” Matt pulls them off of each other, scolding them both without favoritism. He goes on to lecture them about the importance of siblings and doesn’t leave until they hug and make up.

☆ Matt’s entire camera roll is filled with videos and pictures of his kids. Kindergarten ceremonies, family vacations, first haircuts, candid photos; all of it is being documented by Matt at all times.

☆ If he’s ever away from home for a long time, he’s scrolling through his gallery and reminiscing on all his memories with his babies.

☆ Your son is obsessed with video games, something that he and Matt bond over. And although your daughter isn’t as invested, she’s still really good at them.

☆ Mortal Kombat is a game they all play and enjoy together.

☆ “Move over and watch the queen play,” your daughter jokes, taking the controller from Matt after watching him lose time and time again to her brother.

☆ “Yeah, you wish you could beat me,” your son scoffs, readying up for another round.

☆ Your daughter chooses a girly character, which has your son rolling his eyes, but as soon as the round begins he can’t get a single hit in.

☆ Matt is in shock at her level of expertise, she was using combos he didn’t even know about.

☆ “Okay my turn against you, babygirl,” Matt takes the controller from his son, ready to play all night long if he has to.

☆ Having teenagers is hard and tiring, Matt feels like he ages 10 years in just one day with the amount of stress his kids cause him.

☆ Your daughter’s brain is suddenly occupied with nothing but boys and your son is starting to take girls on dates.

☆ “That skirt is too short,” you warn your daughter.

☆ “It is not,” she fights back, genuinely finding nothing wrong with her provocative outfit.

☆ Matt doesn’t have to say anything, one stern look has her trudging back upstairs to change.

☆ “Dad can I borrow the car?” your son asks nervously, avoiding Matt’s eyes at all costs.

☆ “For?” Matt’s not stupid, he knows what teenagers do.

☆ “Nothing, just hanging with some friends,” your son replies, but it doesn’t take long for Matt to get the truth out of him.

☆ Overall, fatherhood has been extremely rewarding for Matt. He sees it in the way his children love and look out for each other and what a great mom you are.

☆ “I love you guys so much,” Matt gushes, pulling the three of you in for a group hug.

☆ “Dad stop being weird,” your son groans, your daughter seconds his statement, but they don’t pull away from the hug.

☆NSFW

Having two children can take up a lot of personal time, especially when your daughter needs you and your son needs Matt. There’s never really any time for you and Matt to just exist as a couple, but he works hard to make sure you feel special everyday.

☆ You’re cooking lunch, the pure domesticity of your actions being enough to turn Matt on.

☆ The kids are still at school and if he’s convincing enough, you’ll abandon whatever’s on the stove and let him please you.

☆ Sneaky arms are wrapping around your waist, rocking you back and forth to the beat of the music that plays lowly in the background.

☆ Matt’s lips find your neck, your head falling back onto his shoulder in pleasure.

☆ Before you know it, you’re bent over the kitchen counter and Matt’s balls deep in you. “Take it,” he grunts, his hands gripping your waist so tight there were sure to be bruises.

☆ The food on the stove burns and you end up ordering pizza.

☆ When the kids are old enough, you and Matt leave them at home alone while you run errands.

☆ Something as simple as a quick trip to the grocery store turns into heated, passionate car sex.

☆ The windows are foggy and the car rocks with each thrust, Matt’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist as you ride him in the front seat.

☆ “You’re so fucking sexy,” he grunts, falling more in love with you as you whimper out his name. It doesn’t take long for him to finish, a string of curse words falling from his lips.

☆ Most times you two just do it in the shower. It’s sweet and full of so much love.

☆ He’ll fuck you against the cold tile wall before scrubbing your back and washing your hair you.

☆ It’s the sweet moments like this that both of you cherish. “I love you so much,” he whispers, the warm water running down both your faces. “I love you too,” you reply with a smile, going in for a passionate kiss.

—

MASTERLIST

A/n: can I hear some commotion for dad Matt🎤

-L.A.M.B👼🏻💗

—

taglist: @nicksmainbitch @sturniololovers @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @gnxosblog @meg-sturniolo @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattnchrisworld @sanyi5 @lustfulslxt @whicked-hazlatwhore @tworosesblackthorn @mxqdii @fawned01 @junnniiieee07 @sturniolololover @missriddle03

note: if you want to be tagged in my fanfic related posts, you can access my TAGLIST and comment 💐

[muddyorbsblr]

winter warmers collection: all wrapped up

See all the Winter Warmers pieces here! See my full list of works here!

Summary: After getting in hot water with Fury about his shenanigans that revolve around candy cane, you give Loki some advice on how to seduce someone if he really wants to go down the red and white striped road. Even if it hurt you to do so.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: 18+ | unrequited love-themed angst; smut (minors and pearl clutchers i better not see you here if you know what's good for you); p in v; oral (f receiving)

Things to be aware of: besties to lovers; some fluff peppered in there to keep it interesting

"A Team, I swear on God, Allah, and whoever else is up there in that great big blue sky that if I catch wind of one more infraction from Laufeyson, I will forbid him from exiting this floor without at least one member of the team chaperoning him to make sure that this shit will not happen again. Do I make myself clear?"

You all looked up at Fury, who was standing at the top of the stairs whereas the rest of you parked yourselves into the seats strewn about in the common room. He exuded irritation and authority in his all black getup topped with a leather trench coat, looking down at each member of the team as if you were rambunctious toddlers who had a food fight in the dining room around the fine china rather than fully grown adults rightfully confused why once again he was giving a lecture on how to handle Loki.

"Director Fury, with all due respect, what exactly did Loki do this time?" you queried, not daring to look a the raven haired god by the island currently engaged in a hushed conversation with his brother Thor. You suspected it had something to do with his notorious flirting ways with the employees of SHIELD anyways.

"Let's start with the most frequent complaints I've been hearing," the director began while descending the stairs. "He's been dressing up in a red and white striped skin-tight neoprene jumpsuit and asking employees if they wanna--Hold on, you two!" He pointed at Parker and Bishop who were sitting closer to the door, Kate carrying Stark's little girl in her lap. "Out of the room. You're too young to hear this. Take Morgan with you."

"Well shit," the little Stark uttered, making everyone turn their heads toward Tony as the three children made their way out of the common room.

"What can I say she takes after her father," Stark proudly said with an exaggerated shrug. "Continue, matey."

"I resent that," Fury shot back. "As I was saying, neoprene red and white suit, approaching employees and asking if they would like to lick his candy cane." As soon as the words flew out of Fury's mouth, Sam and Bucky broke out into fits of laughter, asking Loki if he could lend them some of his shamelessness.

You did your best to ignore the irrational white hot needles of jealously spearing through your heart at the unsurprising knowledge that yes, this meeting was about the god once again sexually propositioning anything and anyone with two legs. Of course he would constantly try with every single person he could come across. Of course he was never satisfied with whoever he brought to bed that weekend; hell, with the mental tally you kept, you found that a woman was lucky if she was even brought back for a second time.

It wasn't even like this behavior took you by surprise. Thor had once regaled you with stories of how virile his brother had been in the parties they had back in Asgard. How many princes, princesses, debutantes, and dignitaries he had corrupted in his chambers.

The blond Asgardian meant well, of course, only trying to get you all to see his brother as something more than the possessed version of himself that the initial 6 members fought back in 2012. His ridiculous stories even paved the way for you to be able to strike a conversation with the god of mischief when he did arrive on Earth, eventually giving you both the opportunity to be quite good friends.

And yet it still stung whenever you had to reconcile with the reality that that was your ceiling; that was all you'd ever be. The friend he could conspire with to play pranks on the rest of the team, the one he could drag along to try out restaurants that you just knew he was going to bring a date to as soon as you gave your thumbs up. The cuddle buddy at movie nights with the team where he'd get so bored he ended up asleep with his head resting on your shoulder.

You had all those parts of him that he never shared with any of those other people. That should be enough. That was enough.

Except for the days when you'd get constantly reminded that it meant you didn't have all of him. You simply got the rest of him when those people who shared his bed had concluded with getting the best of him. And today, with Fury holding over the threat of undergoing a two-day seminar on sexual harassment over the heads of every member of the team? Today was definitely one of those days.

"Director Fury, let me be the one to sincerely apologize for my brother's infractions. I assure you that we will not allow for this to happen again," Thor announced, walking over to Fury and clapping a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm holding you to this," he addressed the god, before turning his gaze to roam over everyone in the room. "All of you." And then he walked out of the room, shaking his head as his leather trench coat trailed behind him almost like a cape.

"Mischief, you idiot," you grumbled, storming up and out of your seat and marching toward the stairs. "Why did you have to do that in public?" You ignored the amused smirk on his face at how you chose to cap off your question. "I mean if you really wanted to seduce someone the red and white neoprene was not the way to go. You wanna seduce a chick? Show up in her bed with nothing but red ribbon wrapped around you like you're the goddamn present, and if you really insist on the candy cane thing then spiral the ribbon along the length of your--Wait hold the fuck up why am I enabling this??"

"Doll face, please keep enabling this," Bucky joked from his seat, earning glares from everyone in the room. "What? I mean I figured if I wanna up my game with beautiful women I should consult the most beautiful woman I know," he explained, motioning toward you. The honesty in his words brought a smile to your face without much effort. Why couldn't you just get over your stupid infatuation with your friend and go for someone who was actually outspoken in wanting to be with you?

"Alright," you relented with an exaggerated sigh. "Just for you, Sergeant." He leaned forward to make a show of him listening intently to your next words. "Find a way to sneak in music. If she's into the campiness of the holiday, then use one of those sexy sounding Christmas songs. And for fuck's sake, ready a drink or a snack or something. You both will be exhausted and she'll appreciate that you actually bothered to think about aftercare."

"And what about the ones who just wanna hump 'em and dump 'em like your bestie Mischief here?" Sam's words simultaneously caused Loki to let out a low grumbling sound in the veteran's direction, as well as unleashed a fit of cackles from you.

"Truly, darling?" Loki deadpanned, the slightest lilt in his voice toward the end.

"I mean you do have that reputation, Mischief," you said through your giggles. "But honestly, Sam? Do it anyway. Choose violence and ruin her for everyone else but you."

Your words broke the room out into raucous applause as you made a show of curtsying and blowing kisses to the other members of the team. "Now see here, if you actually took the time to listen to her, Jack Frost, then maybe Fury wouldn't have threatened us with a two-day seminar," Tony remarked, immediately returning your sour mood.

"Literally nobody here needs a two-day seminar on what constitutes as sexual harassment," you seethed, leaning against the nearby wall. "We know that when the pipi's shown without consent that counts. We know that if someone puts their hands on us or makes inappropriate comments when we've shown no tangible signs of attraction and interest, that that absolutely counts." You glared at the raven haired Asgardian who was currently approaching you slowly. "Loki if I have to sit through two days of people spelling out the exceedingly obvious to me because you couldn't keep it in your pants, I swear on you, Thor, and every other deity there is out there that I will cut someone--"

You words were cut off as the god tugged on your wrist and pulled you into his arms, his free hand cradling the back of your head. "I know. I know, darling, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would hold consequences for you as well. It will not happen again."

"Agent Y/L/N, you should be out celebrating with your friends. At least your team. They're all already upstairs getting ready to exchange gifts. The paperwork can wait for the new year, I guarantee you everybody will be too drunk off their ass to even file them correctly. You'd be doing them a favor handing them in late."

You looked at Fury with an amused disbelief in your eyes. "Never thought you'd be a bad influence on us, Boss," you answered him with a chuckle. "I'm almost done anyway. I'll just…conveniently forget to turn it in until the first week of January."

"Atta girl. Oh, and before I forget, good job with Laufeyson."

Your brows knitted together in confusion. "Boss, I--I haven't worked with Loki on any missions for the last few months…"

"I'm talking about his behavior. I haven't heard any new complaints about him being a sleaze to anyone ever since that last time that I called you all in. Asked his brother about it and he just said that I 'have Y/N to thank for that'. So whatever you did, good work."

"You might not be saying that once you find out that all I did was tell him that if I ended up wasting away two perfectly good days parking my ass in a sexual harassment seminar that I would stab someone." Your words made him bellow in a fit of hearty laughs. "So really, whatever it is, it wasn't me. Wish I could tell you who to thank, though."

"Whatever you say, Y/L/N." Fury shrugged as he walked away from your desk. "Happy Holidays and all that."

"Happy Holidays," you mumbled as you finished up the last of the paperwork, putting the forms aside so that you could work on the tags for your presents to the team. You'd just begun to start on Wanda's gift when you saw movement coming toward your desk from the corner of your  eye. The silhouette was more than enough for you to surmise who it was.

"Darling, you should come upstairs." You kept at your gift tags as Loki kept approaching you, only stopping when he was in front of your desk. "I can only guard your plate for so long until my brother makes a play for it."

His jab at Thor had you chuckling quietly to yourself before you took a deep breath and returned to the lettering for Wanda's tag. "I'll be up in about twenty minutes, Mischief. Thanks." You looked up and the sight before you had you using all your strength not to make it known that your heart had dropped and shattered to the ground.

He was holding two rolls of red ribbon. One about two inches thick, the other less than half an inch thick. You were immediately brought back to your conversation with him a few weeks ago, about what he would do if he really wanted to seduce someone. He followed your gaze to the items in his hand and gave you a sheepish smile. "Let it be known I always listen to perfectly sound advice, dear Y/N," he said with a playful wink as he walked away from your desk. "I'll see you upstairs."

"Good luck," you blurted out, forcing a contrived smile onto your face as he turned around to look at you. "Whoever she is, I'm sure she'll love it." He simply  answered you with a devastatingly brilliant smile as he walked into the elevator; you waited until the doors closed before you allowed the tears to start welling in your eyes, not bothering to even wipe them away as they rolled down your cheeks.

Half an hour later you were heading up to the little party that Stark threw together for the team, your presents for each of them placed under the tree and you dressed up in an A-line tea-length dress with spaghetti straps set in a deep green rather than the more traditional and predictable poinsettia red.

"Lady Y/N!" You turned around to see Thor already halfway through a glass of whatever liquor his massive mug held. "Quite the choice of attire for tonight. I'm positive my brother would be more than flattered." He motioned toward your dress, the knowledge that you were currently wearing Loki's colors only now making itself known to you and quickly sinking into a feeling of utter mortification. "Ohh! And it is quite fortunate that I found you so early in the night; my brother told me that if I were to see you, I am to tell you that  he will not be attending this party as he is preparing a present…?"

"Yeah, I know about the present, Thunder." His eyes lit up in a strange mixture of excitement and fear. "He passed by my desk earlier and he was holding rolls of ribbon. He's the present. He's off to seduce some Midgardian girl. Lucky bitch." You finished your sentence with a huff, tilting your head toward the ceiling and willing yourself not to start tearing up in front of Thor; he wasn't nearly drunk enough to forget this yet.

"Oh no…" he signed, lightly placing a hand on your shoulder. "My friend, surely by now you know--"

"You know what? I'm over it," you blurted out, throwing your hands up in surrender. "He can do whatever he wants, he's a big boy he can take care of himself." You placed your hand over his. "Happy Holidays, Thunder."

A few minutes of picking at the food on your plate decided your course of action for the night. And none of it involved staying with the team as they merrily exchanged their presents and got so drunk off their asses that they'd be unable to take care of themselves in the morning. You declared yourself the designated caretaker to the children and the team tomorrow and began the journey back to your apartment.

"Babes!" You turned around to find Natasha and Wanda arm in arm, drinks in hand. "You're leaving already?" You nodded at them. "Nooooo but you just got here and you look hot and we haven't even exchanged presents yet."

"I'm not in the partying mood, Babes," you answered with a sad smile. "I'll only be a downer. You all go open presents without me I'll probably just bully Thor into gathering mine for me so I can open them in my apartment tomorrow or something."

"Really? Not Loki?" Wanda queried, slurring her words and swaying slightly in Nat's hold.

The bitterness seeped into your heart again as you answered, "He's not here tonight. Too busy getting busy. Probably with someone from Operations or where the fuck ever."

"But I thought--"

"Wan, it's fine," Nat cut off the sorceress. "Y/N, Babes, you don't have to stay if you're not feeling up to it. We'll see you in the morning." They both approached you and wrapped you into a stumbling embrace. "Besides, at least one person in the unholy trinity should be sober in the morning to take care of the others' hungover asses."

"Carbo load," you told them simply. "There's a tray of pasta in the catering table, I checked. And if that's not enough, I'll see about making you two some grilled cheeses after the party wraps up."

"You're the best," Wanda sighed, resting her head on your shoulder. "Merry ho ho."

You couldn't help but let out a laugh as you pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Merry ho ho, Wanda." Nat helped pull her off of you so that could continue heading up to your apartment. Once you were only a few more meters away from home, your phone rang. A look at the Caller ID had your heart pumping erratically. Loki.

"Just in case no one's told you yet, darling," he spoke once you answered the call. "You look resplendent. Absolutely regal."

You scoffed into the phone, rolling your eyes at his words. "You're not even here, Mischief. I could be wearing a potato sack for all you know."

"And even then my words would still ring true."

Dammit, why did he have to make it so hard to not love him?Life would be so much easier if those words didn't hit me right in the heart. You sighed at his usual brand of what you lovingly referred to as "friendzone flirting". "So that was fast," you commented, your poor attempt at steering the conversation toward him and far away from you.

"What was?"

"Your seduction," you said as plainly as you could manage. "I know what that ribbon was for, Mischief. Don't even think about placing that back in the gift wrapping stock when you're done with it."

"Not quite," he answered you with a light laugh. "See, it hasn't begun yet."

You could feel what little food you had at the party start to come up at his implication. So he was calling you before he fucked his latest conquest because what? Why? Because he was bored waiting for her to put on her lingerie that he was gonna snap of anyways?

"Where are you, Y/N?" he asked with an even voice, as if he were almost cooing.

"Walking back to my apartment.  Actually scratch that. I'm right at the door," you answered as you unlocked the front door. When you were finally inside, you were taken aback at the sight of a golden drinks trolley by the entry table, containing two mugs, a jar of what you assumed was powdered sugar, a box that said Harry & David Hot Cocoa Bombs, and little containers of marshmallows, candy canes, and a little cinnamon shaker. "What the--"

"I used my key to your apartment to place my present for you." Something in his tone made it obvious to you that he was nervous about this.

"You got me a hot cocoa bar? That's--Damn, Mischief, I don't know what to say--"

"That's not quite the present, darling," he cut you off. "That's for after."

"After?" You walked toward your bedroom, ready to just kick off your heels and soak in the tub until you felt your unwarranted heartache melt away. "After what?"

Something from his end made you stop in your tracks. You could hear a woman's voice from his end, which was expected. What wasn't expected what that the voice…was yours.

"Loki, where are you?" you asked shakily, your heart beginning to pound in your chest as your brain tried to reconcile what you thought was happening. You pressed your ear to your door, dreading both the answer and what you would hear from your bedroom.

"Laying in bed, darling." Your free hand clutched at your chest as you heard his voice both from the phone pressed to your ear and from the door. He was there. "Truthfully my plans for tonight were not to seduce another nameless faceless Midgardian whose face I would end up enchanting in order for them to resemble the visage of the one I truly wish to share my bed."

"Really now?" you breathed out, your mind running a mile at minute at his words. At what they implied. "And what exactly were your plans for tonight, Mischief?"

"To lay out my heart to the woman who owns it, as well as my body if she'll have me. See, she and everyone around us have this image of me that I am a philanderer, and I fear that even if I tell her the truth of my whorish ways that she would simply choose to not believe me. I would understand. After all, it would not be so easy to believe that in my mind I have only ever been with her, that as I mentioned earlier I enchant the faces of those I lay with so that my eyes see her face looking up at me instead of an insignificant stranger's. That I love her beyond comprehension and seeing the obvious pain in her eyes the last few weeks as she looked upon me have felt like someone had taken my own daggers to my heart and twisted the blade. I knew I had to make right the wrongs I hadn't even been aware I'd done."

"Loki--"

"Open the door, darling. Please." You could hear his voice wavering as he said the words. "Let me see you."

You took a deep breath as you clutched your door handle, bracing yourself for whatever sight may greet you. Though you already knew what you would see: His godly form bared and wrapped in a festive red ribbon. Like a present.

Your present.

The image of him performing the over the top gesture in your imagination, however, was nothing compared to seeing said gesture with your own eyes. He truly was one of those exceptions wherein reality surpassed fantasy.

You steeled your expression into one of feigned indifference, one that he absolutely saw right through but you did it regardless, as your eyes roamed his sculpted physique, the red ribbon wrapped intricately around his torso that would come off in a dramatic flourish with one tug at the bow settled on the center of his chest. And attached to the thicker ribbon wrapped around him was the thinner ribbon leading to--

Goddamn he really did it. Candy cane dick.

"You look so divine it would put all the goddesses in Olympus and Asgard alike to shame," he spoke softly. You instinctively looked away to prevent yourself from any rash decisions when his eyes roamed over your body and you saw the candy cane twitch.

"And you look ridiculous," you choked out, your voice not even holding a shred of conviction. A lie so bad you may as well have worn a neon red sign saying This bitch lying.

He held out his hand towards you, beckoning you to him. "Come here and unwrap your present then, my love."

Your knees buckled at his words. "Your love," you echoed, though your tone was so laced with doubt that it sounded more like a question than anything else. When you reached your bed and placed your hand in his he sat up on the bed and pulled your hand toward him, placing a kiss on your knuckles.

"Yes," he answered you with a soft smile, his eyes looking up at you with such veneration it stole whatever breath you had left in your lungs. He placed his hands on either side of your body as he pulled you close enough so that he could press several kisses to your clothed stomach. "It's you, darling. Since the moment your eyes met mine."

His hands traveled down to the sides of your thighs, guiding you to rest your knees on either side of him on the bed, straddling his hips. Once your faces were level, you could see so clearly the emotions swimming in his eyes as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your cheek, so gently it was almost as if he were afraid you'd break.

"Then why all those--"

"I valued your company too much that I dared not risk it simply because I desired your body," he explained in hushed tones, as if he was confessing to you, as if they were words of contrition. "You were too precious for me to lose to my own lust. And so whenever I felt the urge to shatter our friendship, I would find another to unleash those desires upon. It mattered not who. Even when I would deceive my own eyes I knew it would never be enough, and--"

"And in the process of finding another after another with the intention of preserving our friendship, you instead shattered me," you cut him off, your bottom lip quivering and your heart breaking with the effort you were exerting to not sob and yell your words out. "Every. Single. Time." He pulled away to look into your eyes, already brimming with unshed tears threatening to escape. Your next words barely came out a whisper. "I can't. I refuse to be another notch in your bedpost."

"You won't be," he pleaded, brushing the tips of his fingers lightly across your cheek. "I love you, Y/N. You are all I would ever desire. All I have ever desired since the moment we met."

You placed your hands on his shoulders, bracing yourself both physically and emotionally for the next words you were about to let out. "I love you, Loki." The smile on his face was so blindingly brilliant and rife with relief as he leaned in with the clear intent of pressing his lips to yours; however, you pushed back against his shoulders, earning you a confused look from the god. "If we do this, the sleeping around stops. Okay? Because I won't share you—"

He silenced you by pulling you towards him, your chests flush against each other, claiming your lips in a kiss that oozed of yearning and ages of repressed love. The moment you opened your mouth to him and your tongues met, you both sighed into each other's mouths in audible contentment. "I am yours, my love," he panted as he pulled away. "All of me. I do not intend to be shared, just as I have no intentions of sharing you if you would be mine."

His. That sounded like a dream. A beautiful fantasy too blissful to be true. "Yours…" You tested the word on your tongue as if it was such a foreign concept. "I'd like that," you said softly as you ran your hands along his shoulders, traveling down to his chest and the bow situated in its center, a loving smile stretching across his face as you did so. "So…if I tug on this it all comes falling off?" 

He placed his hand over yours, placing a tender kiss on your neck before whispering against your skin, "We need not go further if you're not ready to be intimate with me yet. We could stay doing exactly what we were just moments ago for the rest of  and I would be content. Because it's you. I am finally with you." He traced his lips along your jaw and up back to your mouth, claiming it once again in a soft kiss. "Only when you are ready, tell me. Or tug on the end of the bow and—"

"Yeah you can save the speech, Mischief. I'm ready," you cut him off, pulling at the end of the bow and watching the ribbon unravel with a dramatic flourish down to the bed. "I love you, and I want you to make me yours." His smile turned mischievous as he pulled the entirety of the ribbon off and away from him, his hands then returning to your thighs, skimming under the hem of your dress. "You're not pretending anymore," you cooed.

"And yet a fraction of this reality with you is worlds better than any illusion I'd ever conjured." His words sounded so reverent that they alone sent a rush of arousal pooling between your legs, worsening the state of your already drenched panties. His hands inched up slowly, hiking up the bottom of your dress along the way. He looked at you with an uncharacteristically timidity in his eyes, as if he was asking for permission. "May I?"

His hesitation unleashed something you could only describe as desperate in you. Desperate for more of his touch. His kisses. That lust he'd mentioned earlier that he didn't want to risk losing you to. You wanted him to lose himself to that desire now. Craved it, even. Your words from weeks ago echoed in your mind, a wicked grin playing at the corners of your mouth as they came to the forefront of your thoughts.

You wanted to ruin him. For everyone else but you. And vice versa.

As if he hadn't already ruined you the moment you walked in and spotted him all wrapped up like the best Christmas present you'd ever receive for the rest of your days.

You ran your hands down the length of his arms, hooking them under the bunched up hem of your dress and pulling the garment over your head, haphazardly throwing it down to the floor, joining the ribbon. His eyes lit up as his gaze roamed all the newly exposed skin to him, immediately leaning forward and pressing his lips to the skin above your heart and proceeding to trace the outline of your bra with his lips. "No more pretending," he breathed out, the slightly cool air of his exhalation chilling your heated skin by the slightest.

"No more pretending," you echoed with a satisfied grin pulling at your mouth. You brought your hands to his shoulders once more, urging him to look at you. Once he did you pressed a fevered kiss to his lips before groaning against him, "But I want you to fuck me as if you were."

Loki pulled your hips flush against his, both of you letting out an obscene moan as your drenched clothed core made contact with his hardened member. "No," he growled, reaching behind you to undo your bra, the undergarment falling unceremoniously to the ground and joining your dress. "Perhaps another night, my darling." He maneuvered your bodies until you were laying down on the bed, him hovering over you and looking up at you through his lashes. "This is not something that deserves to be over in minutes."

"Minutes?" you huffed in utter shock and disbelief. "What happened, they tap out?"

"Frustration on my part," he answered you simply, beginning to trail kisses across your collarbone and down your chest. "Because despite my greatest efforts my mind could not be deceived. They weren't you. None of them were you." He went on a path down your body, briefly taking each of your nipples into his mouth and laving his tongue over the stiffened peak, down your stomach, and stopping at your mound. "I can tell you now, my love, that this will not last for mere minutes. I intend to take my time with you."

As soon as he said those words, you let out a sharp gasp as he so effortlessly snapped apart the sides of your panties and pulled the fabric off of your body, proceeding to place your thighs on his shoulders and lift you off the bed. Just enough that your shoulders and upper back were still laying flat, but also enough that it would take great effort for you to find the leverage to squirm away from him if you wanted to.

You twisted your body in his hold so much that he seemingly casually laid his forearm across your lower stomach as he continued to subject you to wave after wave of relentless pleasure, steadily ramping you up to an orgasm that threatened to leave you boneless. "Oh my darling," he groaned against your skin, the vibrations from his voice sending a delicious thrill throughout your entire body. "I could devour you for hours."

The whimper that escaped your mouth felt so uncharacteristic for you. Then again everything about tonight felt unfamiliar to some degree. "Loki," you whined, prompting him to close his lips around your clit and flick his tongue mercilessly against the overly sensitive bundle of nerves, and letting out a scandalous moan against the desperately over-sensitized nub that send you over the edge. You screamed his name as your back arched off the bed, the haze of your climax making you only vaguely aware of how he held you still as you rode out your release on his tongue.

He set your legs back down on the bed and you were thankful for the reprieve, allowing you a few moments to catch your breath; however, the rest was short lived, as he gripped your hips and pulled you toward him until your ass sat atop his thighs, and he placed a hand under your back to prop you up and face him, pulling you in for a kiss so deliciously carnal as your tongues tangled together and you could taste yourself on him.

"I love you," he panted once he pulled away, bringing his hand down between you and lining his cock up at your entrance. He wrapped his other arm around you and held you close, pressing his lips softly along your neck and shoulder as you eased yourself onto him inch by inch, biting your lip as you felt the mixture of pain and pleasure as your walls stretched to accommodate him.

He moaned against your neck once you'd fully sheathed him inside of you, the backs of your thighs resting deliciously on the tops of his. You laid your hand on his chest as the other wrapped around the back of his neck, doing your best to move and set a pace for you both but even the slightest shift sent rippling shocks of pleasure all over your body that all you could do was rest your head against his shoulder and desperately whimper his name time and time again.

Those whimpers quickly became moans as he held your hips firmly and began to guide your body up and down along his length, capturing your lips in a desperate, nearly harsh kiss that proved effective in muffling the tell-tale screams of pleasure being elicited from both of you.

What started as a tender, sensual pace quickly turned frenzied as you both began to chase each other's pleasure, your hips finally moving of their own accord and allowing his hands to roam your body, his lips doing much of the same. When your paces grew staggered he moved you to lie back on the bed, your back once again flat against the mattress, and he hooked your legs around his waist as he drove into you mercilessly.

"Please," you cried out, feeling the coil tightening in your lower stomach once again. "I don't think--"

"Oh you can, my love," he countered you as he pressed his lips to your shoulder in a sloppy open mouthed kiss, your brain fogging once more as you felt him flicking his tongue against your skin, and his hand moving between you to start rubbing tight circles on the swollen bud. "Come with me," he coaxed as he proceeded to kiss along the shell of your ear, your moans echoing around your bedroom as his thrusts became slower, but harder.

Your legs shook with how hard your climax hit you, not even thinking you could manage it since you'd never done it before, but it truly didn't take you by surprise that Loki had managed to do just that as he somehow hit every sweet spot inside of you with every move. He reached his own peak as your walls clenched around him, his hips jerking against yours as he finally reached his release inside of you.

"You know, if I'm gonna be honest, I would've thought that you would've gone for the gold ribbon," you told Loki as you two were sat at the little kitchen island in your apartment, both of you nursing your own mug of hot cocoa as the god held your calf in his free hand, his thumb gently stroking your skin. "I know we had some in the stock room last I checked."

"Well, my darling, you would be correct. But when I arrived at the stock room earlier today someone else had already taken the gold. That was when I knew I had to hasten my steps, make it here before…" he trailed off.

"Before what?" you asked with a chuckle.

He took a deep breath before placing his mug down and reaching over to take yours from your hand, setting it down as well, before he pulled you back onto his lap and captured your lips in a kiss that felt both possessive and desperate all at once. "This does mean that you are mine now, dear Y/N. Yes?" he asked when he pulled away, shock flooding your system when you saw the vulnerability in his eyes as he said the words.

"Of course," you breathed out, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "You're stuck with me now, Mischief."

"I would have it no other way, my love." He wrapped his arms around you, one of his hands reaching up to weave his fingers through your hair. "Y/N before I made it to your apartment, I'd heard that one of the men on our team was trying to find a way into your apartment to follow the advice you'd given us weeks ago as well."

That reveal had taken you aback, your eyes widening as your brain tried to process the new information. "I'll be honest, Loki. If I walked in here and found someone else ribbon-clad in my bed I would've kicked them out. Walk of shame style. Tonight wouldn't have ended the way it did if it wasn't you."

Those words made him pull you in for another kiss, sighing into your mouth as he pulled you even closer to him, your bodies completely flush against each other.

"I'm glad you got the red, though," you said, a wicked smile pulling at the corners of your mouth as he looked at you with confusion rife in his icy stare. "I liked the candy cane look on you." You struggled to move away from him as he trapped you in his arms, proceeding to tickle your sides and render you into a giggling mess.

"My beautiful little menace," he chuckled as his onslaught ceased, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "Do you not even wish to know who it was that would have walked in shame out of your apartment had you found him instead?"

"You know what…I kinda am…mostly because I want to picture their walk of shame in gold ribbon. Who was it?"

You broke out into another fit of laughter, your body shaking uncontrollably as he held you against him as soon as he uttered the name. "Barnes."

A/N: Omg I'm so happy to finally finish this story and finish off the idea that's been running around my brain since Monday 😂 "Candy Cane Dick" story is finally done. SAS, if you know you know 😏

Everything tag list: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @kats72 @ronnieissupermegafoxyawesomehot @creationsbyme @coldnique

[squishysoftmonsters]

❎️Theres NSFW stuff ahead Mateys!❎️

💚Twisted Disneyland Master Post💚

💚Hot For Teacher Master Post💚

💚Monster Master List💚

💚Monster Master List 2💚

❎️DNF/DNI If you have phobias of monsters or are a minor[under 18] or are ageless. Please for your safety,blacklist tags that involve monster stuff or more mature themes! Or just block my blog to avoid miscommunication.

❎️Discourse is not welcome

❎️If youre a TERF,BOT,RADFEM or Phobe in general,take a walk on the plank! Every gender identity is valid

✅️This blog is strictly for fun and nsfw fantasies! None of these scenarios are real. None of the creatures real either. [Not a Zoophile] But who doesn't want a strong and hard monster lump rearranging their inside furniture for a few moments in real life?

✅️I'll do my darndest to cater to every gender ID as I can to make sure no one is left out.

✅️Reblogs,Comments and Notes are appreciated but not a must. This is a fantasy drama free safe space. Just good wiggly vibes.

✅️EVERY MONSTER IS LOVED HERE. There's no real rules..Just be respectful and nice is all.

✅️Sexual content will be marked in red

❎️No foul language or fetishes whatsoever.

[Pee/Poop/Vore/Feet/Spit/Food Stuffing. I don't kink shame but I'm uncomfortable writing about these the most. I apologise]

[trinitybloodbr]

WITCH HUNT - ウイッチ・ハント - CAÇA AS BRUXAS - PRÓLOGO

--------------------------

⚠️ ESSA OBRA EM HIPÓTESE ALGUMA É DE MINHA AUTORIA. TRADUÇÃO REALIZADA DE FÃ PARA FÃS. NÃO REPUBLIQUE OU POSTE EM OUTRAS PLATAFORMAS SEM AUTORIZAÇÃO. SE CASO POSSÍVEL, DÊ SUPORTE AOS AUTORES E ARTISTAS COMPRANDO AS OBRAS ORIGINAIS. ⚠️

-------------------------

WITCH HUNT　

ウイッチ・ハント 

CAÇA AS BRUXAS

--------------------------

PRÓLOGO

--- Não permitirás que viva uma feiticeira.

(Êxodo 22:18)

"Isso é terrível..."

Abel Nightroad suspirou enquanto levantava os óculos redondos.

Realmente, aquela era uma noite bastante agradável.

Do lado de fora das janelas, nos arbustos de tojos dourados, rouxinóis cantavam uma suave canção noturna, enquanto no céu ligeiramente nublado, duas luas de tamanhos diferentes flutuavam envoltas em nuvens de algodão.　

Mas, se voltamos a atenção para o interior, o que se via afundando sob a luz prateada era uma massa de cadáveres. Pedaços de carne, cortados até perderem a sua forma original, e que ainda emitiam vapores em vermelho.

"É completamente cruel... Quem diabos faria algo assim?"

Abel suspirou mais uma vez. Se ele tivesse, ao menos, descoberto a existência deste bar um pouco mais cedo...

''...Hã? Quem está aí?

Abel chamou de trás do balcão. Uma figura emergiu. Era um homem alto e robusto, que se aproximava com passos instáveis. Em suas mãos, ele segurava algo que parecia ser uma bola...

Quando a luz da lua o iluminou, um grito abafado escapou da garganta de Abel. Um homem completamente tingido de vermelho, como se tivesse nadado em um mar de sangue. Sangue fresco gotejava da cabeça decepada de uma mulher que estava em suas mãos. E as presas expostos em sua boca...

“Wa-aaaaaah!”

Quando Abel se virou, já era tarde demais, seus pés tropeçaram. Com um rugido, o vampiro saltou em direção ao desamparado padre. Seus braços como troncos agarraram os ombros da caça. As presas gotejando saliva vermelha se aproximaram de seu pescoço ─　

Num instante, com um estrondo que fez parecer como se a própria noite estivesse se despedaçando, o corpo gigantesco foi arremessado ao chão.

Sua mandíbula estava aberta, provavelmente em uma tentativa de gritar. No entanto, somente o que jorrou dela foi uma grande quantidade de sangue fresco e fragmentos de órgãos internos que foram expelidos. Além disso, uma sucessão de balas atingiu impiedosamente seus membros, selando completamente as atividades de seu corpo gigante.

“.... O quê!?”　

Os lábios de Abel, que estava caído ao chão, mal se moveram. Exceto pelo zumbido nos ouvidos, ele não teve lesões externas. As balas não o tinham atingido.

...Um som rígido ecoou do teto marcado pelas balas. Passos pesados ressoaram, marchando pelas escadas com uma precisão quase mecânica.

"Pa-Padre Tres! Foi você..."

"Positive."

Era uma voz terrivelmente inflexível.

Um jovem padre ocupava a porta de entrada. O rosto sob o cabelo curto era bonito, mas inexpressivo, como uma máscara. E em sua mão segurava uma enorme arma – a Jericho Ｍ13 “Dies Irae” de calibre 13mm, cujo cano ainda exalava fumaça de pólvora fresca.

"Por-por que você está aqui? Pensei que estivesse investigando um caso de sequestros em massa em uma instituição de caridade em algum lugar..."

“... ...”

Padre Tres - membro do Departamento de Operações Especiais da Secretaria de Estado do Vaticano, a Divisão AX – O Padre itinerante Tres Iqus não respondeu à pergunta. Em silêncio, apenas puxou o gatilho duas vezes em direção ao chão.

“!”

Com um grito abafado, o corpo do vampiro, que estava prestes a se levantar, afundou novamente.

“Tre-Tres-kun!”

"Eu não o matei. Ainda tenho algumas perguntas para ele... Mas antes disso, Padre Nightroad, por que está aqui? Tem algo relacionado com o incidente do Tristan?"

"Eh, sim. Ouvi dizer que o grupo chamado “Fleurs du Mal”, ao qual o vampiro Alfred pertencia, estava usando este lugar como sua base. Mas cheguei tarde demais. Tantas vítimas..."

" ‘Vítimas’ ? Negative, isso é um equívoco da sua parte."

Tres disse impassivelmente enquanto trocava o carregador da arma.

"Os que estão aqui não são as 'vítimas dos vampiros'... são os 'próprios vampiros'."

"...! En-então isso significa que eles mataram uns aos outros!? Mas por quê!?"

"Resposta indisponível. Dados insuficientes."

Com um olhar gélido apontou para o segundo andar.

"Todas as vítimas do sequestro já foram usadas como presas... Um interrogatório é impossível."

"Mas que coisa. Ouvi dizer que apenas crianças órfãs foram sequestradas, mas... Mmgh!?"

O olhar de Tres moveu-se rapidamente pela escuridão enquanto cobria a boca do colega. No entanto, nesta noite mortalmente silenciosa, não havia sinais de nada que possuísse vida...

Abel perguntou em um tom mais silencioso que conseguira reproduzir:

“...que som foi esse?”

“Alí.”

Tres respondeu e com a ponta da arma indicou para o fundo da cozinha. O som leve de roupas roçando podia ser ouvido vindo da porta da adega.

"…Tenho certeza de que havia mais de vinte membros da 'Fleurs du Mal', não é?"

"Positive. Estima-se que ainda haja doze... Vamos entrar rápido."

Da quietude para ação... a voz indiferente foi seguida por uma série de estrondos que poderiam fazer até os mortos saltarem.

Quando a porta de ferro, junto com as dobradiças, foi arremessada, o corpo de Tres se transformou em uma rajada de vento. O projetor acoplado ao cano da M “Deis Irae” rasgou a escuridão com sua luz, enquanto liberava seu enorme poder de fogo sobre a sombra que se movia no centro do halo luminoso...

“Tr-Tres-kun, pare! Espere!”

Abel saltou e agarrou-se ao braço do colega, que estava prestes a apertar o gatilho novamente.

“Po-por favor, não atire! É uma criança...”

A figura encolhida na luz – era uma garota de cabelos dourados e seus olhos castanhos avermelhados estavam arregalados em surpresa.

------------

Créditos da tradução:

Lutie (◕‿◕✿) ,

Tres! Tres! Tres!, viu? Tres três vezes

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, October 18th

XANDER: Arrr! Careful, me mateys! These be fireflies spat from a volcano off the coast of Katmandu. Arr! LITTLE BOY: You're not a real pirate! Real pirates live on boats and don't look stupid!

~~All the Way~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Unraveling by Maxine Eden (Buffy/Spike, R)

[Chaptered Fiction]

In the Company of Witches and Slayers: Chapter 165 by VladimirHarkonnen (TheLightdancer) (Willow/Tara, E)

Book Stew! Chapter 13 by MGAllan (Michael [from Gingerbread]/Lance [from The Pack], G)

Kinktober 2024, Chapter 18 by HuonParticlesAreHarmless (Buffy/Giles, E)

Kinktober 2024, Chapter 15 by DancingAngel0013 (Buffy/Giles, E)

Painting Flowers, Chapter 2 by crowncitydreams (Buffy/Angel, T)

Birds of a Feather, Chapter 6 (complete!) by Maxine Eden (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Oh My Goddess, Chapter 8 by Maxine Eden (Buffy/Spike, R)

Me and the Devil Blues, Chapter 3 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

In Your Dreams, Chapter 4 by Geliot99 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Images, Audio & Video]

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Fanvid: Buffy and Spike | Treacherous by iCraveEdits (0)

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Fanvid: Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Anyway You Want It by juliaroxs241 (0)

Fanvid: spike & buffy - exile by Giulia Wonderwall (0)

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AI Music: The Gentlemen are coming by. - reimagined by NeXuS JWF (0)

Video resource: Buffy and Oz scenepack by Scenepacks (0)

Video resource: Buffy and dawn scenepack by Scenepacks (0)

Demon design: From the Archives: Black Death Demon - Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 7 by Christopher Burdett (worksafe)

[Reviews & Recaps]

Weekly Watch-Along [October 10th-October 18th] by BPD-and-Lipstick

Video: DWR 426 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 1992 by The Dream Warrior Review Podcast

Video: Is the Buffy Movie 'Good Actually'? by Better With Bob?

Video: Thoughts On Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV Show by ramboraph4life

Video: Summary: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 1) by Romi Pegaro (in Spanish)

Video: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE Slayer, beyond myth, icon of strength and courage! by SerieTvRetro (in Italian)

Video: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 4: Episode 9 - Something Blue by The Cheshire Kiwi

Video: The Killer in Me-Slayer Sunday by Jane Talks Buffy

Video: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Library Edition Season 8 Vol.4 Review/ Overview by Comic Swag

Video: RTFC #06 - Buffy The Vampire Slayer 7 (2007) DEEP DIVE [Features an exclusive interview with Georges Jeanty!] by Read the Freaking Comics!

Video: S4E09: Something Blue by One Girl in All the World

Podcast: Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Sarah Michelle Gellar, High school drama, and slaying by TV Pilot's License

Podcast: Episode 033 - Becoming (pt. 1) by Boys Watching Buffy (several other episodes were uploaded as well)

[Rec Search]

Does anyone have any good femslash BtVS fic recs? by acaseofthewiggins

[Fandom Discussions]

Spike sleeping on a stone slab in his coat, boots, and lil blankie by Aphony Cree

For people who think Xander deserves some sort of punishment for him going after Buffy in the Pack by confusedguytoo

The thing about vampires is they are immortal so of course they will outlive all their mortal friends by stellernorth

Does anyone else find it so weird how Dawn is treated like a little kid when she is 15, 16 years old? by suiriswhite

I can’t BELIEVE I never noticed that Spike only started calling Buffy “Buffy” to her face AFTER he realized he was in love with her by thequeenofsastiel

I was counting the names Spike called Buffy and the amount of times he used them in s6 because I was curious, and I noticed something interesting by thequeenofsastiel

The cars Angel keeps giving Spike by thequeenofsastiel

Angel is such a weird show to watch by jimbodyson

after buffy season 3, contrary to popular belief, angel becomes more morally grey and fucked up by after buffy season 3, contrary to popular belief, angel becomes more morally grey and fucked up

Basically i want the way Buffy is sweet to Spike in season 7 to transfer to season 4 starved and tortured Spike by skyegraves21

Scoobtober: Best Weapon in the Buffyverse? by Plasma

The impact of loss and trauma on Angel's outlook continued by Lostsoul666 and Stoney

Double Entendres by Technical_Juice_6959

The Shanshu prophecy by moses616

Best Acting Performance in Angel by Troyaferd

How was the dagger of the beast made? by Nikstar112

Do they ruin willow’s arc? by Ijustliketodraww

Angel Season 5 Poster by authenticriver

I love Anya by ClutchPencilQuadRule

Did Giles just become sexier post-Season 3? by Personal_Reward_60

Was there a moment in the show where you thought to yourself ‘I did not expect this?’ by DarkCryptt

If you had the money or the power by Vixen22213

Rewatching Hells Bells… by erulisseh

Help with this Angel art by midwest_manic

Missed opportunities by CoasterTrax

Prom by moses616

Someone finally does what we were all thinking 😆 (S3 E1) by ghostrider1938

Real time Buffy/Spike Reactions by Adventurous_Grand878

What are some interesting motifs, references, or metaphors you've found in the show that not a lot of fans catch? by Deep_Ad_2691

Buffy is BRUTAL with killing people off it makes it more realistic in a sense by hatchbackkk

this was PAINFUL [Buffy cutting her hair in Gone] by hatchbackkk

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[itacoisa]

Atualização da minha estante // 18 de julho de 2024 (sim, do ano passado pra cá eu matei a peperômia, agora rezem por essa jibóia 🪴)

[theragamuffininitiative]

Ok ok ok why of all the tmfu episodes is "Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum" one of the most superior Illya content episodes in the whole show??

An incomplete list of reasons to adore Illya Kuryakin from this one episode alone:

1.

Napoleon: if you need me, just whistle.

Illya, when the ship starts to set sail with him on it: -whistles into the communicator-

Napoleon: what was that?

Illya: you said to whistle if I need you. I need you.

2.

His quoting of "Cargoes" by James Masefield (insolently)

3.

Being imperiled and punished and never wavering. (Give him hugs.)

4.

Asserting to a useless communicator that he wishes to be remembered as a hero of the highest order, with honors, while admitting he is probably talking to no one and making a joke of himself.

5.

"Mr. Kuryakin."

6.

Listening to the drunken captain tell his sorry tale, quietly and attentively.

7.

Gently stops the drunken and abusive captain from attempting to take his own life, and then helps him to lie down where he won't hurt himself. (Nevermind that Illya wants to get into the captain's safe. They worked it out later...sort of.)

8.

Risks his life to save everyone on the ship, proving handier with the ship's steam-belching engine than their engineer (who, oddly enough, is called Scotty and is in love with the ship...this episode aired shortly after Star Trek Scotty was introduced to the world, do with that as you will). Where this seadog Illya came from, we don't actually know, his relationship and history with the ocean is a complex one.

9

Towel-drying his fluffy floofy hair ok.

10.

"You are, without doubt, several cuts above the average." Yes. Yes he is.

11.

Illya, offhandedly polite: you're too kind.

Captain: I have never been accused of that before. You have spirit, sir. (...) Mr. Kuryakin, you are to be my first mate.

Illya: Captain, I'm not the man, I have no-

Captain: It is settled!

Illya: Aye-aye.

12.

First matey hat! !!!

13.

Being very smol and standing as close as he possible can to the much taller bad guy and glaring the baddie out of the room.

14.

Hank: You took a chance for us, plugging the steam leaks. You're a big man, Mr. Kuryakin.

Illya: Do you think I'm big enough to lead you [in a mutiny]?

Hank: Do you mean it?

Illya: Try me.

15.

His mutiny speech. !! THEY TRY TO MAKE HIM CAPTAIN.

16.

He keeps Hank alive, that earns extra appreciation too.

17.

Tells Waverly the captain's sorry story to clear his name and earn him an honorable retirement, which is frankly more than the captain deserves.

18.

Looks very cute and dashing the whole time.

(Meanwhile Napoleon spends his time making out with the villainous girl of the episode. Undercover. For spy reasons. I guess. And is otherwise pretty darn useless and requires rescuing.)

Top tier episode. Amazing Illya content.

5 stars. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[blog-name-idk]

Mold a Pretty Lie | 06

Pairing: professor!Jin x Fem undergrad!Reader

Genre: College!AU, Unhealthy relationships, toxic relationships, virgin reader, eventual yandere, eventual smut

Summary: They say love is like a garden that requires regular care and attention. Kim Seokjin, your kind and handsome professor, is more than happy to cultivate the vines that bind his heart to yours.

Word Count: 4089

Rating: 18+

~~~~~

Seokjin watched out of the corner of his eye as you read a paper, brow creased in concentration as you highlighted a section and added it to your ever growing pile of notes for your research project. You were absorbed in your work, allowing his gaze to linger on the way the fading sunlight highlighted your studious frame.

Things were mostly back to business as usual - you were no longer leaving right on time, and by your progress it seemed you'd been pouring even more hours into your project than before. With your other schoolwork, along with his own class, it seemed to indicate that you weren't wasting more of your time with anyone… unnecessary.

Your phone buzzed on the table, and a tendril of irritation spiked through his chest when you giggled at whatever was on your screen. Who was texting you? Was it Taehyung? Hadn't his words been enough to get you to realize the boy was no good for you?

"Ashley says she's gonna come by in a few minutes," you informed him, looking up and letting the light bring out the sparkle in your eyes. Seokjin hadn't noticed how stiff his shoulders had grown until they relaxed, and he smoothed his expression.

"Yes, I have exams to make her grade," he replied lightly, grateful you hadn't realized how tense he had been a second ago. You laughed at his words, and he selfishly wished that sound was for him alone.

"Poor Ashley," you said in a too-innocent tone. "Forced to pick up someone's slack."

You looked straight at him with an impish smile, one that wrapped itself around his thoughts and fed the twining shadows at the edges of his mind. His exchanges with you had been becoming more playful and teasing - more so than it should be, and yet Seokjin found himself unable to resist. No more than he could keep himself from occasionally touching your shoulder or arm, some strange part of him needing the reassurance that you were there, real and perfect.

Especially when you said something impertinent, as if you were begging him to put you in your place.

"Well, if my research assistant worked faster, maybe I would have more time for grading," he replied lightly, grinning at you in a way that made you bite your lip and duck your head. You made a valiant attempt at recovery, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Oh? So when you tell me I'm the best, you've been lying?" you asked with a cute pout, the jut of your lower lip drawing his gaze like a lure.

"I'd never lie to you," Seokjin replied seriously, holding your eyes with his. Well, at least, not unless it was for your own good.

You looked a little dazed at his words, flustered in a way that made Seokjin's chest purr. But before you could reply, his TA arrived.

"Ahoy mateys!" called Ashley as she strolled through the door with a grin, shattering whatever delicate atmosphere had accumulated. "Professor, I'm reporting for duty!"

You giggled at your elder's antics, and Seokjin couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or relieved at the interruption. He shouldn't have let his relationship with you grow so familiar, and yet if you weren't in his sight, incessant worry gnawed at the back of his thoughts in an irritating, constant buzz.

You were a kind person, and while it was one of the qualities he appreciated about you, it also made him wonder if others would take advantage of it. It was definitely possible for Taehyung to sweet talk you back into his arms, despite the slight… exaggeration he had made when describing seeing him with that other girl. That cursed image of your body pressed against the boy's flashed in his head, and he forced his hand to unclench.

And then there was that other boy, Jimin, who had the audacity to kiss you on the cheek after lecture. By your reaction, you hadn't been expecting it, and Seokjin bristled at the thought of the boy putting his grimy hands on you unprompted. Just how many vultures did he need to protect you from?

"Good luck, our dear professor is in rare form today," you said, shooting a mischievous grin at Seokjin and pulling him out of his perturbing thoughts. He gave a good natured scoff, hiding the way your words seeped into his veins, twining around his limbs like a gentle caress.

"When isn't he?" Ashley replied with a laugh, coming in to ruffle your hair before setting her backpack on the ground. Seokjin felt a surge of protective irritation at the casual contact, one that was surprising. He knew Ashley of all people was a good person, the action shouldn't have bothered him the way it did.

"When you're done beating an old man while he's down, I have papers for you," Seokjin complained, doing his best to shove his thoughts aside. He was being ridiculous.

But - Ashley liked women. Who was to say she wouldn't fall prey to your guileless charm? And as someone somewhat closer to being a peer than he was, she had more freedom to treat you as familiarly as she wanted.

"Yes boss," Ashley replied with a good-natured groan, grabbing the stack of stapled papers on his desk, oblivious to her professor's roiling thoughts.

An hour passed in relative silence, a calm atmosphere settling over the three of you. Occasionally the quiet was broken by a remark or query from one of his students, but otherwise the only sounds were the shuffling of papers, and scratching of pens, and the sound of you typing on your computer.

Seokjin found his eyes sliding over to you more often than necessary, unable to resist despite knowing that Ashley could look up at any time. There was a small wrinkle in your brow as you frowned at your screen in thought, and you were worrying your lip yet again.

Another vine in unfurled as he watched you absent-mindedly pluck a tube of chapstick from your pocket and swipe it over your lips, leaving them just a touch shinier than before. Your eyes flickered to meet his before he could look away, and he flashed a grin that made you smile bashfully in return.

He had bought that little plastic tube on whim while buying groceries, your little habit popping up in his mind when he spied the selection at the check-out counter. If the strawberry flavor he had picked happened to coincide with his favorite fruit, well, everyone liked strawberries. It was simply the most logical choice.

It should have been a strange gift to give to a student. But you had smiled so beautifully at his tiny gesture that any thought of regret fled instantly. If anything, Seokjin found himself resisting the urge to dote on you even more.

"The showcase is pretty soon, right?" asked Ashley absentmindedly as she twirled her pen in her fingers. You jumped a little as if forgetting she was there, then rushed to answer.

"Yeah! I can't believe almost an entire semester has gone by already," you said in tones of sincere surprise. "I feel like it went by so fast."

Seokjin smiled at the memory of you, bright-eyed and nervous at the door of the office. At the time, you had been just another student, indiscernible amongst a lecture of nearly one-hundred. And yet, you had burrowed your way into his affection. A smile here, a joke there, and each moment with you had embedded itself inside of him before he had even realized it was happening.

"You've come a long way," he agreed, chuckling when you ducked your head in embarrassment. A semester hadn't yet cured you of your awkwardness to compliments, another trait he found positively endearing.

"You really have!" said Ashley, nodding in agreement. "I hardly recognize the jumpy little freshman from my first recitation."

"Okay, okay," you grumbled, waving your hands as if to keep any praise from sticking to you. "Enough! I'm amazing, I get it!"

"Our little girl's all grown up," said Ashley with a fake sniffle, wiping a nonexistent tear from her eye. "I'm so proud."

"Oh my god, shut up," you laughed, throwing a wad of paper at the older girl. "I can't believe I was ever intimidated by you."

"How dare you, I am incredibly intimidating," Ashley replied with a prim harumph. This time it was Seokjin who snorted, making you laugh harder.

It was nice to see you so cheerful and carefree, even if he had to share this moment with someone else. Your smile lit the room with bright sunshine, your laugh washing over him like warm rays. He was going to miss it, when you wrapped up this project.

Seokjin's good mood dampened at the realization that the showcase was only a couple weeks away, the ending of this surprisingly addicting partnership in sight. He did believe you had a good chance of winning, though he was excused from the judging due to being your mentoring professor.

He was leaning heavily toward offering you a continued position - your work was exemplary, and the knot of worry in his chest eased at the prospect of being able to continue looking out for you.

You made up his mind when you turned and gave him a tentative grin. "I'm actually already planning on signing up for Global Change II next semester. If you're not sick of me yet."

Warmth seeped into his chest at your words, and he couldn't stop the smile from taking over his face.

"Impossible," he said warmly, holding your gaze long enough for you to begin to fidget and look away. Then, to cover his lapse, he cast his eyes towards Ashley. "Unlike this one here, who I just can't seem to shake."

Ashley's indignant squawk joined your bubbling laughter, and for a little while everything was right in the world.

~~~~~

"Yes, that looks good," nodded Seokjin, looking over your shoulder at the computer screen. You were working on formatting your poster for the showcase, and he was impressed by your attention to detail. Your graphics were far better than he would normally expect of someone in their first year, though he'd already seen first-hand just how dedicated you were.

"You don't think it's too wordy?" you asked fretfully, pointing at your methods section as he hovered behind you.

He knew he was leaning a little closer into you than was strictly necessary, but he couldn't help it. You didn't wear perfume, but the faint, flowery scent of your shampoo seemed to seep through his pores and leave behind a sweet ache he wasn't sure would ever go away.

It wasn't like he was going to do anything, so surely he could indulge himself in these innocuous ways, right?

"Dr. Kim?"

Your voice broke him out of his dangerous thoughts into an even more perilous reality, and he realized that in his distraction he had hovered even closer. Close enough to count the lashes bordering your eyes, close enough to feel the heat radiating off your cheeks. Closer and closer you came, and Seokjin found himself unable to move, unable to do anything but savor the soft whisper of your breath against his skin.

Your lips were soft and insidiously sweet, and before he could stop himself he was kissing you back. It was intoxicating, and he felt the ache in his chest recede even as those dark vines wrapped further around his heart.

You let out the sweetest, most beautiful sigh against his lips and suddenly he came to his senses, stumbling away from the edge of the abyss he desperately wanted him to fall into. It took all of his self control to back away, to keep himself from devouring you the way the mass in his chest demanded.

He looked at you and wished he hadn't, as your blissful expression rapidly shifted from confused to horrified to heartbroken.

Every fiber of his being demanded for him to rush forward and gather you in his arms when your lips began to tremble. Yet all he could do was stare at you, rooted to the spot while you spluttered apologies, gathered your things in a haphazard rush, and fled out the door.

His lips tingled, and when he swiped his tongue over them he could still taste the faint flavor of your fruity chapstick.

Fuck.

Fuck.

~~~~~

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

You were such a fucking idiot. Why had you done that? Well okay, you knew why but fuck your body and its lack of impulse control.

But how were you supposed to think rationally when he was that close, his body heat washing over you in warm waves and his woody cologne consuming your senses? It felt like his proximity always made your brain shut down, especially since the day he had so matter-of-factly said he thought you were beautiful.

And he had been so - so attentive lately, the look in his eyes warm enough to send tingles down your spine. The sporadic little gifts, the random touches, his gentle teasing, everything your professor did went straight to your head and heart, filling you with what you now realized was hubris.

How had you deluded yourself into thinking he felt anything for you other than whatever normal fondness a mentor might have for their charge? You were such an idiot.

When you threw yourself into the scant sanctuary of your dorm, you were relieved to see that Sierra wasn't back yet. There was no one here to see you throw yourself face down onto your bed and scream into your pillow.

You hadn't realized how close Dr. Kim had been standing until you turned to speak to him more directly, and when you met his gaze, the look in his eyes had ensnared you completely. You had found yourself hypnotized, no more able to resist his pull than the tides could deny the moon.

Your breathing slowed as you recalled just how soft and full his lips were, how he was standing so close that all you needed was an inch to be in his arms. With a start, you realized - he had kissed you back. For a brief, wonderful moment, your professor's lips had pressed deeper against your own with a warmth that set you aglow. Before he had backed away from you and stared as if you had grown two heads.

Oh no, what if it was because you were a bad kisser? You only had Taehyung for reference, what if he never said anything because he didn't want to offend you?

Shit, you couldn't just hide in your room and cease to exist. There was no way you could avoid Dr. Kim for the rest of your life and pretend you hadn't just done one of the stupidest things imaginable. The best you could do was beg for his forgiveness and hope you hadn't ruined everything.

With your heart pounding, mind racing, and stomach churning, you pulled out your phone. You had his number in case you needed to coordinate meetings/lab timings, though you rarely used it because you didn't want to bother him.

You I am so, so sorry I don't know what I was thinking

Dr. Kim Hey, it's okay

You I didn't mean to put you in that kind of position I hope you don't think I'm that type of person

Dr. Kim [Y/n], I know you're not Please don't worry about it

You You must be thinking so many terrible things about me And I probably deserve it I know you just see me as like some college kid and me throwing myself at you like that was so stupid I'm so sorry

Dr. Kim Don't say things like that

You I'm so embarrassed I just Please let me finish out the project and then I promise never bother you again I'm so sorry

Dr. Kim [Y/n] Stop You're never a bother If I'm being honest… it wasn't completely unwelcome

You Really?

Dr. Kim Yes But it can't happen again I could lose my job And besides what you had to deal with earlier in the semester, it wouldn't be good for your academic career either You're a brilliant, driven, and hard-working person, [y/n], I would hate for anyone to think you didn't earn everything you've achieved up to now

You I understand Thank you for being so kind You don't have to say all that just to make me feel better

Dr. Kim Please stop beating yourself up about this Nothing I said was a lie

You I'm sorry again I can drop your class for next semester if you don't want me there

Dr. Kim Nonsense The only thing that's upsetting me is that you're beating yourself up about this so much I want you there And I was going to ask you after the showcase, but I do have the funding if you would like to continue doing research with me

You What? Really? Are you sure?

Dr. Kim No, I'm Kim Seokjin

You …

Dr. Kim Struck speechless by how your professor is both brilliant and witty I understand Seriously speaking though, yes I am 100% sure I would love to continue working with you

You Ha ha ha Then absolutely, thank you so much!! I'll try to be normal

Dr. Kim But you're not normal, you're extraordinary :)

You Professor!!! You can't say things like that!

Dr. Kim I can't make true statements about the top student in my course?

You ;aljfasljfjs You're the worst I'm not sorry anymore

Dr. Kim Cute I'll see you in office hours

You stared at your phone, heart pounding and mind racing. Cute? CUTE???? What did he mean by that? Did he even mean to mean anything by that? No, he couldn't have, he had literally just told you it couldn't happen again. But he had also confirmed that he liked kissing you. Oh god, what were you doing?

With an anguished groan, you locked your phone and tossed it into your bag. He was right, it had been a stupid thing to do that could have ruined everything either of you had worked for. You weren't about to throw away your hopes and dreams for a beautiful professor who made you feel like the only person in the world when he looked at you.

Five seconds later your phone was back in your hands as you read and reread the exchange like a conspiracy theorist looking for proof of the Illuminati. You were a stupid bitch.

~~~~~

This was torture. Of the sweetest kind, perhaps, but torture nonetheless.

You nibbled your lip, and Seokjin felt his tongue flick out to wet his own as he remembered just how soft they had been.

Things had gone more or less back to normal between the two of you, other than a few awkward pauses and silences here and there. If there were a few lingering stares or an air of words left unsaid, no one needed to know. True to your word, you made no further attempts to touch him, kiss him, or even to be alone with him, really. He should have been relieved.

Unfortunately, you were more tantalizing than any drug and now that he had gotten a taste he couldn't get you out of his head. He found himself thinking of you more and more, craving the honey of your voice, the innocent and yet forbidden feel of your lips against his.

To all appearances, Seokjin's placid demeanor was that of a still ocean. But underneath the calm facade was a roiling mass of emotions, desire warring with affection warring with disgust at himself.

You shifted slightly in your seat, crossing one bare leg over the other. He swallowed, eyes raking down your skin before tearing his gaze away and back to the papers he was supposed to be grading.

Sure, maybe the air conditioning set by the building was a bit lacking in his office, but did you really have to torture him like this? Despite a long gulp from his water bottle, he couldn't get rid of the dryness in his throat, or the thirst that seemed to grow day by day.

"Achoo!"

He chuckled at the cute way you wrinkled your nose and glanced at him after your sneeze, and your embarrassed expression turned into a pout.

"Wow, your prized student could be dying and you just laugh," you grumbled, crossing your arms. Seokjin grinned, trying not to stare at the tantalizing jut of your lower lip. Then he strode over to you, pulled along by those creeping tendrils he couldn't find it in himself to cut away.

"Oh?" he teased, reaching forward to press his hand against your forehead. He felt your face heat up at his proximity, eyes wide in surprise, and something dark purred in his chest. "Hmm, I guess you are a little warm."

Your face somehow flamed even hotter and you gave him a light shove that was clearly not meant to move him at all. He didn't budge, despite every rational part of his mind begging him to back off and stop sending you mixed signals. The other part of him felt electric, relishing in the softness of your skin, the warmth seeping off of your body, and the way you were so clearly affected by his actions.

"P-professor," you spluttered, eyes darting anywhere but at his face. You drew your lower lip between your teeth, worrying at the plump flesh, and his gaze sharpened.

"Are you sure you're not getting sick?" he asked in mock-concern, taking the opportunity to stare hungrily at your mouth while you looked away. You were so close, all it would take was a few inches to close the distance and taste your lips again.

Seokjin's brain chose that moment to finally catch up with his body, and he stepped away, feeling his ears go hot.

"Well, it doesn't feel too bad," he said, clearing his throat. You blinked at him, slow and confused and dangerously endearing. "Have you been eating well?"

You began to giggle at his stuffy question, and he wondered if he could get drunk off the sound.

"The same as always," you said softly, gaze flicking up to meet his eyes with a smile. It lasted just a split second, and yet Jin felt time freeze as he felt those vines begin to pull him back under. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and retreated back to his desk.

"You should take better care of yourself," he said when he was safely restrained by the breadth of space and wood furniture between the two of you. A tiny part of him wanted to tell you to run away from him, long and far. He ignored it.

"I'm fine," you said with a shrug, echoing your words at the coffee shop a few weeks prior. "You don't need to worry about me."

All Seokjin could do was sigh, aware that he wasn't really in a position to insist, especially considering he was the one who had shut down the kiss that never ceased plaguing his mind.

But how could he not worry? You were special, and the possibility of some college idiot taking advantage of your sweet nature was all too realistic. Of Taehyung, kissing your lips, swallowing your pretty sighs, of touching you in ways he had no right to.

Seokjin's jaw clenched. As if some eighteen-year-old whelp would be able to treasure you like you deserved, to touch you the way you needed, to make you -

"Professor?"

Your voice halted his spiraling thoughts, and for a moment all he could do was stare, trying not to think about how your body would feel pressed against his own, what sounds and reactions he could elicit from you. He licked his lips involuntarily, and by the way your eyes followed the movement he could tell you hadn't forgotten, either.

Fuck. You were so beautiful, lips softer than the petals of any flower. He wanted to be the one to make you bloom, for your thoughts to be as consumed as his own.

Even if that couldn't be the case, he could at least protect you. Seokjin would guide you, give you advice, steer you from those that might pluck you away and crush you under their undeserving feet. Anything to keep that smile on your face, and those lovely eyes fixed on him.

Anything for you.

~~~~~

Next | Masterlist

Tags: @moonleeai @random-and-out-of-context @amenjiminsan @innebulae @seoqity @lilacdreams-00 @chowb @shescharlie @mazmaz30 @definetlythinkimanalien @seokjins-luigi @lucci-girl @xicanacorpse @bighitbabie @8loominghell @jung-nika-hoseok @staradorned @zealouslightcookiebasketball @kissme-ornot @dyhrbls @nabiolive @firesighgirl

[daydreamgoddess14]

Not a Couple (no, really!)

For day 3 of the Tedbecca Prompt Party 🥳

5 times someone mistakes Ted and Rebecca for a couple and the one time someone didn’t believe that they actually are...

Using prompts No. 29: 5 times someone mistakes Ted and Rebecca for a couple, and No. 17: Rebecca is Ted’s emergency contact.

Ted Lasso/Rebecca Welton fluffy fluff.

~~~~~

1.

Ted brought another round back from the bar, Rebecca still had her head down frantically scribbling down the information Beard was giving her.

“No, you’re wrong - it was Man City in 2017-18. Chelsea was the year before, it was the start of the big City dominance.”

“I’m telling you, Rebecca, it was Chelsea in 2017.”

“No it wasn’t Beard. Trust me!” Beard looked at Ted with pleading eyes.

“Ted -”

“Beard. I love you, man, but I’m gonna defer to the woman who lived in the UK at the time and who had personal involvement in soccer at the time.”

“Football.”

“Right, boss. Football.” Rebecca wrote down Man City for her remaining answers - name the Premier League champions every year from 2012-3 season to 2022-3 season. Rebecca chose not to gloat when she was proven correct. When Beard went to the bar next, Rebecca and Ted poured over the picture round, heads bowed together whispering.

“Weheeey!”

“Wanker, you did it at last!” They looked up to see Baz, Paul and Jeremy with big smiles and pints in hand.

“Whatcha talkin’ bout fellas?”

“You and the boss! Lookin’ goooood!” Baz shot Rebecca with a finger gun and a wink.

“Oh, no no, we ain’t-”

“It’s about time, innit lads?” Jeremy grinned.

“Yeah, took ya long enough!”

“Boys, you’re mistaken, we’re-”

“Ohhh! Haven’t had the chat yet?” Paul asked and turned to the others, “they haven’t had the chat yet, idiots!”

“Oh shit. Sorry, Ted.”

“Sorry Ms Welton, sorry Ted.” Jeremy and Baz both looked mildly ashamed. “But still, nice one! You wanna have the chat though before she finds someone, y’know, fitter.”

“Well thanks for that, Benjamin Bratt. But when Rebecca tells you you’re mistaken, she means we ain’t dating at all. Just friends here, like that Ryan Reynolds classic.”

“What?”

“Huhh?”

“For real? Cos… I mean, they definitely ended up together in that movie.”

“No no, I don’t think they did. Clues in the title boys.” Ted said firmly.

“They did, I’m sure they did,” Baz whipped out his phone, “I’ll google it, to find out for sure.” Rebecca rolled her eyes, amused rather than offended by their insistence. “Yep, see - definitely did. Oh! Maybe that’ll happen to you two!” Baz looked as though he’d just seen the light.

“Yeah!” Jeremy agreed.

“You’re right matey, that’s it! They just don’t even know it yet.” Paul turned back to Ted and Rebecca, “you just don’t even know it yet!”

“Great chat, boys. Think we’d better get on with the quiz.” Ted insisted, gesturing at their answer sheet.

“Oh yeah, c’mon, let’s finish our picture round. Good luck with the chat wanker! Bye Ms. Welton, lovely to see you, you’re looking very lovely this evening.” The boys disappeared just as Beard returned.

“Do I want to know what that was about?”

“You absolutely do not Coach Beard, believe me.” Rebecca laughed.

2.

"Good evening, Coach Lasso. I’m Jade. Nate has told me a lot about you.” The young woman smiled as Ted approached the front desk of A Taste of Athens.

“Only the really good stuff I hope, Carly Pope.”

“I don’t know who that is.” Jade replied dryly. Ted waved his hand,

“Well then, I guess Popular weren’t that popular over here.”

“Nathan said you’d be bringing your girlfriend this evening. Nice to meet you Ms Welton. Let me show you both to your table.”

“Oh, we’re not-”

“I’m not his-”

“We’re not together.”

“Just friends. Colleagues.”

“She’s the boss.” Ted jerked his thumb at Rebecca. Jade stared at the two of them, bemused for so long that the silence became excruciating.

“Right. Follow me.” She led them to a small candlelit table in the back of the restaurant. “Table for two people who aren’t a couple.” She gestured to the table, deadpan, “so you say.” she muttered quietly as they took their seats.

“That’s the second time in the last month that’s happened.” Ted shook his head, opening the menu.

“Hmm. Weird. They’re obviously projecting. Wine?”

“Yeah, how about that red we had last time?”

“Not sure I fancy red, I’m thinking of having the fish?”

“Oh yeah, definitely not red then. They have a Livio Felluga Pino?”

“Perfect, well spotted.” They talked happily about their current workload, the mood of the team and Beard’s latest sandwich swap contribution. Jade watched them share a starter, offer each other a taste of their mains, and swap desserts halfway through, all with a small shake of her head.

“Hey, did you want to join me and Hen at Harry Potter World when he visits in a couple of weeks? I know you’ve always wanted to go.”

“Oh Ted, I wouldn’t want to intrude-”

“Rebecca, c’mon. You wouldn’t be.”

“Only if you’re sure?”

“Of course.”

“And you’ll let me get Henry a wand?”

“I’m not allowed to say no, am I?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Fine. But we’re buying you dinner afterwards.”

“Deal.” Rebecca agreed with a smile.

“How are the happy couple doing?” Jade asked, clearing plates. Rebecca sniggered into her glass.

“Wonderful, thank you Jade, that was beautiful.”

“Thanks Jade. I’ll need to have a word with our Nate the Great though. Calling us a couple,” he scoffed, “absurd.”

“Crazy.” Rebecca laughed.

“Hmmm.” Jade frowned, “crazy.”

3.

“Hey Michelle, Henry’s just getting changed, he’ll be out in a minute.”

“No rush, you guys having fun?”

“Oh yeah, he’s having a great time hanging out with the team. That coaching from Jamie is gonna go a long way when his team starts back in September.”

“Great news! How was Harry Potter world?”

“Pretty cool, Hen had a great time.”

“I hear you took Rebecca?”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Sent me a few pictures earlier. You look cute together, I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks. Wait, no - Michelle, we’re not dating? What makes you think that we are?”

“Are you kidding? Ted, the pictures speak for themselves, hon! And like I said, you look really, really great together.”

“Can you send me the pictures please?”

“Sure, hang on a sec-” there’s a pause on the call while Michelle forwards the photos,

“Oh.” Ted breathed softly.

“You see?”

“But we’re not dating.”

“Really? Wow. Ok. I’m sorry If I made you feel uncomfortable.” They fell into silence, Ted still looking at the images on his phone.

“You really think that’s what it looks like?” He asked quietly.

“Ted, honey, we were together a long time. I know what you look like when you’re in love.”

“Hmm.”

“You didn’t know?”

“Guess not. Must have snuck up on me.”

“Love does that sometimes. And Rebecca?”

“What about her?”

“Do you think she knows? Or loves you too?”

“Honestly Michelle, I have no idea.”

“Maybe you should speak to her.” As Ted went to respond, Henry came bounding in to speak to his mom.

“Mom! We had the most amazing day! Rebecca is so cool, she got me a wand from the giftshop and she said we can go again when it’s all decorated for Christmas and she’s going to take me to see a show at the theatre!”

“That’s so cool sweetheart, I bet you and dad will have a lot of fun.” Ted zoned out of their conversation, lost in his own thoughts.

4.

"Mr Lasso, I really need to insist that you sit down while we assess you. The nurses station is calling your emergency contact, and I'm going to arrange for some x-rays shortly."

"There's really no need, doc. I'm perfectly fine."

"He said you were annoying as fuck, he wasn't wrong."

"Sorry, who?"

"I'm Roy Kent's sister, Sara O'Sullivan. Right, says here your emergency contact is Rebecca Welton. We'll get her here as soon as possible and check over your results." Ted grumbled under his breath, "what happened?"

"We called off training because of the weather, it was too wet and slippery. I figured I'd meet Rebecca at a shareholder meeting, but I got taken out by a Deliveroo rider."

"Some of those riders need a new fucking career. And he really did a number on you, the ambulance was called because you were unconscious so I have to make sure you still have all your fucking facilties."

"Wow, you're definitely Royo's sister."

"I get that a lot." Ted smiled and acquiesced, holding up his hands in defeat.

"Alright, alright doc, you got me. I will await further instructions like a good patient."

"Where is he, I need to know right now - where is Theodore Lasso? Which room? Through here?" Rebecca Welton at a reception desk with zero information is a force to be reckoned with, Sara O'Sullivan had decided. She heard the commotion from three wards away.

"Ms Welton? Dr. O'Sullivan - Roy's sister?"

"Sara? It's so good to see you again. Thank god you're here, no one will tell me where Ted is, or what's going on? Was it a car? He never looks the right bloody way. I'll kill him myself if the car didn't succeed."

"He's fine, really. A bit of a bump on the head, but he's fine. I had no idea you were a couple - Roy always tells me the boring stuff like who took a knock in training - like I'm professionally bound to give a shit. I never get the good, juicy details like who Isaac is dating, or you!"

"But we're not dating?"

"He has you listed as his emergency contact?"

"I'm sure friends have friends listed all the time."

"Less often than you might think, actually. Unless you've known them like, the majority of your life, or you're family."

"Oh."

"Anyway, Ted's absolutely fine. Exactly as Roy described him so I take that as a good sign."

"Oh thank god. Could you imagine me having to break the news to his mother?"

"I'll take you through to him, no need to be alarming any mothers." Dr O'Sullivan led Rebecca through the corridors and into a monitoring ward where Ted sat up in bed doodling in his notebook.

"Boss! I'm sorry, I told 'em there was no need to bother you but the good doctor here is as stubborn as her brother."

"Absolute nonsense, Ted! You're bloody lucky Sara was working today," she bustled around him, openly looking him over for visible wounds.

"I'll leave you two to it while I just chase up the last of Ted's results." Sara gave Rebecca a knowing nod and left them to it.

"I really am sorry, Rebecca, I tried to tell them not to call you -"

"Ted, why the fuck am I your emergency contact?" She watched him intently. He had no answer for her. "That is like… wife level shit, Ted! I don't understand why you're in a foreign country, and your emergency contact is not the man you've known since you were kids? What if something serious had happened? What if you'd been really hurt and I didn't have the right information?"

"You know my blood type?"

"O negative."

"That ain't one of the common ones. But you know that it's mine. Distinguishable scars?"

"On your right knee and elbow."

"From?"

"Quad bike accident when you were 19."

"You know more about me than either you think you do, or you care to admit. I put you as my emergency contact, Rebecca, because you're my emergency everything." In the doorway, Dr O'Sullivan cleared her throat,

"Ted? Got all your results back clear. Everything is fine, no damage caused by the bike courier."

"A fucking bike courier, Ted?!" Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"Great, doc. So I can go?"

"You can. Watch out for headaches for the next few days, but other than that, you're free to go." She handed him the signed paperwork for discharge, "Lovely to see you again Ms Welton. Take care."

"Thanks Sara, see you soon." Rebecca picked up her bag and coat, "Ted, car's outside."

They sat in silence back to Richmond.

5.

"Rebecca, darling! How lovely to see you!" Rebecca grimaced, her wine halfway to her mouth,

"Tish. Hi."

"How have you been? It's been so long since you went marching out of my house all red faced and cross with me!" Rebecca bit her tongue so hard she thought it might bleed.

"Well you were pedalling that bullshit, Tish. I'm not quite sure what you expected me to say or do?" Rebecca was about to go in again, but was saved by the affable American walking towards her.

"Hey, Becca, your mum said she needs you."

"Thanks Ted."

"Well bullshit or not dear, it looks like it all worked out in the end? What a delightful couple you are!"

"For godsake, why on earth do we keep getting this? Tish, Ted and I are not a couple."

"What on earth do you mean you’re not? Of course you are! The signs are all there - weren’t you listening to me Rebecca, dear?" The elder woman was off, "Of course you weren’t, you were too busy being dismissive of me. If you’d have heard me out then you would have known!"

"The bloody signs? Upside down and drenched? Thunder and lightning? What the fuck was all that supposed to mean?"

"The signs are never crystal clear, Rebecca darling."

"Stop calling me darling, and stop going on about stupid signs that than be manipulated so that even a child can misinterpret them! You were not clear, the signs were not there and I fully maintain that you are a fucking fraud." The woman's eyes widened as Rebecca grew more venomous.

"I… I.. I'll leave you to it."

"You do that, Tish. And if you come near me again with anymore of your bullshit you will fucking regret it." Tish fumbled her way away from Rebecca,

"Hey now, what was all that about?" Ted asked, his voice laced with concern.

"My mother needs me, does she not?"

"Yeah, yeah she does. I tell you what, you sort out Debs, and I'll be waiting here with more wine and you can tell me all about poor Tish."

"There's no such thing as poor Tish, Ted." Rebecca rolled her eyes but did as Ted asked.

By the time her mother's garden party was winding down, Rebecca was certain Ted would have gone home. He'd been long abandoned after all. Instead, as she entered the conservatory, she saw him sitting and talking with the somewhat unusual combination of Tish and the local vicar.

"I'm just leaving dear, no need to snap my head off again." Tish sighed, collecting her bag.

"I need to be off as well," the vicar smiled, "may I see you out, Tish?" They both said their goodbyes and left Rebecca and Ted alone. He handed her a large glass of wine.

"Spill, Faith Hill." Her anger dissipated, Rebecca sat down heavily.

"It's nothing, Ted. Just a wild misunderstanding between a skeptic and a fraudulent psychic."

"Well that's the best kind, please go on." She settled back in the chair alongside him,

"If you insist. I went to see Tish months ago, at my mother's insistence. The reading was… not successful. She made all sorts of ridiculous claims that have not and will not come true. It was a shambles, and I felt humiliated."

"What were the claims?"

"Umm, the first one was about a green matchbook. Which, at first, I took to mean the one from Sam's restaurant." She looked a little ashamed.

"You mean, this one?" Ted pulled it from his pocket, Rebecca stared,

"Yes," she whispered.

"And the next?"

"She said something about a shite in nining armour. Which didn't even make sense, and then I saw John Wingsnight and he used that extract phrase… but otherwise, total horseshit."

"You gotta look at these things a little differently, Becca. It's probably not literal or as clear cut - John used the phrase but he's in the past, Sam gave you the matchbook but he's in your past. Has anyone you know used the phrase correctly when talking to you?" Rebecca wracked her mind,

"Only you," she laughed a little, reminded of the darts game in the pub.

"What else?"

"Thunder and lightning and me."

"Mean anything?"

"Roy told me once that I shouldn't settle for fine, falling in love should feel like being struck by lightning."

"Wise man. Was there anything else?"

"That I would be upside-down and drenched, but safe."

"Well that one's easy, right? Amsterdam and your boat fella?"

"I suppose… but nothing happened?"

"And maybe that's the point? The things you have linked so far, you've linked to exes. Maybe that's the link, these are where you've come from, lightning is where they're leading to?" Rebecca took a long drink of wine and turned to Ted, incredulous.

"Ted, that's insane."

"Is it though? What else links all of those things?" She looked at him intently, her eyes drawn to where their hands were almost touching on the sofa cushions next to her, "go on." He urged.

"You?" She muttered, confused. He bit back a wide grin,

"I have a matchbox like you. I told you I was white knighting. I was with you in Amsterdam, trying to reach you - trying to reach out to you." He explained. "You saw the messages, in the end?" She nodded. "Becca, I know you're sick of everyone assuming that we're a couple. I don't know about you, but all it does is make me wonder why we're not. I'd very much like to kiss you?" She'd already moved closer to him, instinctively and turned to face him.

"Yes, Ted." She breathed, letting him cup her cheek and kiss her softly. She let out a little sigh and he fought the urge to chuckle at her realisation. He broke the kiss first, leaving her still leaning into him. Her eyes grew wide,

"What's up?"

"Lightning."

"Well I'm glad you think so, boss." She beamed at him and reached out to pull him into another kiss. As they sat with their drinks and their thoughts, the sounds from Deborah's garden party reaching the conservatory, she turned to Ted again.

"Feels like I might owe Tish an apology," she murmured. "There was one more prediction though."

"Hmm?" Ted queried, his hand running through her hair as she leaned back into his shoulder.

"She said I'd be a mother. But I can't, I even went to the damn doctor to check." He kissed her temple,

"There're a lot more ways to become a mother honey, did'ya ever think of that?" The tiny gasp let him know that she certainly hadn't.

6.

"Have you got a plus one for the engagement party babes?" Keeley asked from the sofa, sparkly pen in hand.

"Yes please, love. If that's OK. Although, actually it won't make a difference to your numbers."

"You've lost me?"

"Ted will be my plus one."

"Oh that's cute, at least neither of you will be alone." Rebecca frowned, putting down her own notebook.

"Keeley, he's my plus one because he's my plus one?"

"Oh babe, I know. I know. You shouldn't feel like you're doing each other a favour. It's a lovely thing to do for a friend, really."

"You're not understanding me, Ted and I are together?" Keeley stared at her for what felt like an eternity, before breaking out into peals of laughter.

"Oh my god!" She giggled, deliriously, "That's the fucking funniest thing I've ever heard!" Rebecca sat back in her chair and let Keeley laugh and laugh.

"It's true."

"Nahhhh come on? You’ve both been denying it up and down Richmond for ages. We get it, we’ll stop teasing you about it, now you stop bullshitting me."

"I'm not bullshitting you, I promise."

"Yeah, OK babe. Whatevs." Keeley giggled again, waving Rebecca’s comments off. Rebecca rolled her eyes and smiled, leaving her best friend to her ignorance.

"Keeley doesn't believe we're together." She laughed as Ted sat on the bed watching her get ready for the party.

"Aww, poor girl has been burned before." He grinned, watching Rebecca pick out an underwear set.

"I know, but considering how long she's been angling for this-" She'd moved to stand in front of Ted as she spoke and he reached up to undo her towel and let it fall to the floor,

"This? This is what she's been angling for?" He asked, his voice low. Rebecca laughed softly,

"Yes, I think given half a chance this is exactly what Keeley Jones would like."

"She's a woman of exceptional taste." He murmured, looking her over as if he hadn't spent recent weeks learning every inch of her body.

They were predictably late to the party.

"Where have you two been?!"

"Sorry darling, got caught up. You look gorgeous."

"Aww thanks babe, you too. Wow, you look like you've been royally railed though!" Keeley beamed, hugging them both. As she pulled away, she saw the eyebrow wiggle Ted gave Rebecca and froze. "No!"

"I did tell you."

"No!"

"Hate to ruin your chances, Keels." Ted grinned apologetically.

"Who said anything about that?" Rebecca teased, "If I were to ever dip into the lady pool, it would definitely be with Keeley." Keeley watched the conversion back and forth in shock.

"Are you two for real right now?"

"Sure are, Pablo Escobar"

"Really?"

"Really really." The squeal echoed through the venue.

"Oh my godddddd! Roy, Roy babe over here! Ted and Rebecca are together. Like, together together!"

"Fucksake, I just lost 50 quid to Beard."

"I've lost 40 to Bumbercatch."

"100 to Tartt."

"50 to Will."

"I lost to Will too."

"And me."

"And me!"

"I just lost 250 to Higgins." Will grumbled, handing over his accumulated cash.

FIN

[ciochinaflorin]

321 I 2023. CEARTA SAU CHIBRIT ȘI BUTOI CU BENZINĂ [1 Samuel 1.13–18 I Evrei 12.2 I Matei 16.21-23]

321 I 2023. CEARTA SAU CHIBRIT ȘI BUTOI CU BENZINĂ ? I Podcast I Pasaje Biblice : I Samuel 1 : 13 – 18 I Evrei 12 : 2 I Matei 16 : 21 – 23 I Meditaţii din Cuvânt I Cezareea I Reşiţa I 17 Noiembrie 2023 I În studiile anterioare despre ceartă, a fost amintit faptul că o ceartă este asemenea exploziei unui butoi cu benzină, căruia cineva îi dă foc cu un chibrit. Continue reading Untitled

[babyhoneyheslt]

Seven Seas of Harry and Louis Fest Prompt Submissions

Ahoy there mateys! Welcome to my first ever fic fest!

I have put together some rules and regulations for the fest!

The fic fest is specifically Larry ship, however side ships are also allowed and can be any of the boys! It can start off with Harry or Louis with someone else but must end with them together.

Participants must be 18 years or older in order to take part in the fic fest.

The prompts must include an aspect of the sea, whether it be pirates, sirens, mermaids or whatever you want it to be!

There is no minimum or maximum word count!

All fics must be submitted in full to the collection! No WIPS.

Enjoy!

Submissions close - 28th February 2023

Prompt Submission Form!

Any questions or just want to join if you’re thinking of signing up, or if you have signed up? Join the discord group - Seven Seas Larry

[camaleaotriste]

a vida que eu não vivi

constantemente me pergunto quanto de você tem em mim. é baboseira quando dizem que um trauma não te define. talvez até seja real, quando seu trauma é na maioridade mas, você me machucou quando eu nem ainda me conhecia, então tudo que eu conheci depois, teve sua influência.

eu não tive muitos anos de vida antes que tudo virasse lembranças confusas. eu neguei tanto tudo que aconteceu que quando eu tinha 15 anos eu pensava que tudo tinha acontecido aos 13, quando fiz 18 tentei me enganar que tinha sido aos 15. com 20 anos eu descobri que tudo ocorreu aos 9 anos e passei semanas aflita. quantos anos se passaram sem que eu percebesse? e o que eu vivi tanto em todos eles?

me lembro de alguns momentos em que você me invadiu. lembro de quando você passava a mão no meu corpo, da sua barba nojenta nas minhas bochechas. lembro vagarosamente do seu corpo em cima do meu. por mais dolorosa todas essas lembranças sejam, não machucam mais do que eu lembrar daquela criança pequena pedindo para que você me desse mais. porquê era bom, porquê era instigante. você não parecia fazer ser ruim. era confuso, eu sentia no meu íntimo que era errado mas, você se passava por tão confiável, era só uma brincadeirinha porquê você me amava muito, certo? e eu te amava tanto. eu sinto tanta dor por toda vez que você virou o jogo e fez parecer que eu te seduzi. eu só tinha 9 anos. eu não sinto ódio, eu nunca consegui. mas dói, dói profundamente.

me lembro que em vez de contar para um adulto e ter medo de ficar só, eu me isolei completamente. me sentia muito doente, tinha pensamentos horríveis sobre machucar e ser machucada. eu era muito nova para entender que esse estresse todo era devido ao meu trauma. então eu cresci mentalizando que eu era uma pessoa ruim, ruim por natureza, ruim porquê Deus quis. ruim simplesmente porquê eu era.

planejei me matar muito nova, planejei matar você, planejei matar meus pais. sentia muita raiva, raiva de Deus, raiva do mundo. comecei odiar a escola, cometi pequenos furtos, machuquei pintinhos que eram para nascer jogando eles no chão e observando os corpinhos. eu me odiava instantaneamente depois. deixei com que outros adultos usassem meu corpo por medo deles não me amarem. nunca é confiável que adultos brinquem com crianças. esconde-esconde e bicho papão eram sempre desculpas para que passassem a mão em mim, e eu percebia, mas eu não tinha amigos, o que custava? ser assediada em troca de atenção. tudo começou em você. afinal, meus amiguinhos que me assediaram, também foram vítimas suas.

na adolescência, quando eu tive coragem de contar vários desses caso para um adulto. o que ela me disse foi "nossa, mas todo mundo te abusou agora?" e eu reprimi tudo novamente. me senti culpada por muitos anos. "será que no passado não foi eu quem quis, e agora no futuro eu minto que foi abuso?" mas foi um pensamento tão bobo... como eu poderia? eu era apenas uma criança.

aos 11 anos, é a minha lembrança mais antiga de que eu já me auto-mutilava. culpa, eu sentia muita culpa. e eu me cortava em todos os lugares que você gostava de encostar. eu me cortava nos ombros, nas coxas, até mesmo nas minhas bochechas. e faz apenas dois anos que eu parei. foram 12 anos descontando no meu corpo o abuso que ele mesmo tinha sofrido. injusto não?

cresci com uma máscara social. eu era a adolescente perfeita, ia na igreja todos os dias da semana, usava roupas modestas, nunca experimentei cigarros ou bebidas, nunca matei aulas. eu era socialmente feliz, ajudava todas as minhas colegas da minha idade, as vezes até as mais velhas. eu era garota exemplo, os pais de todas as meninas da minha igreja diziam que queriam uma filha como eu. aos poucos eu fui perdendo as forças e a vontade de mentir. comecei andar sem roupas de mangas longas de propósito, para que meus pais vissem que eu me cortava. comecei faltar nas aulas para chorar no quarto, não queria cantar na igreja. comecei ter crises de pânico.

o maior trabalho que eu dei para os meus pais foi ser uma filha que não queria viver.

eu nunca terminei a escola como todo mundo. não tive formatura, não tenho amigos dessa época. tudo que eu lembro é das dissociações olhando para fora da janela da sala e das vezes em que me cortei no banheiro da escola. dos meus pais tendo que me buscar antes do fim da manhã, porquê eu estava tendo crises de pânico. dos professores dizerem que eu era preguiçosa e burra, e que eu nunca seria ninguém daquela forma.

eu orei tanto para que Deus me curasse. eu orei tanto para que minha família superasse. você me fez experimentar esse amargor pela adolescência inteira mas eu ainda orei por você, eu orei para que você tivesse paz e não machucasse mais ninguém.

por diversas vezes eu chorei, chorei porquê eu também queria ter o seu amor, o seu orgulho. tantos ao meu redor têm. por que eu não mereci? qual seu critério quando decidiu que podia me machucar?

foi por sua causa as primeiras doses de álcool que eu tomei, os primeiros cigarros que fumei. o primeiro beijo que eu dei. foi por sua causa que eu fui abusada outra vez, por outra pessoa. tudo começou em você. foi por sua causa que eu comecei vomitar quando comia, foi por sua causa que eu fiquei acima do peso, foi por sua causa que eu quase definhei por dias sem comer. foi por sua causa os anos que eu não lembro. até mesmo as pessoas que eu machuquei. começou em você.

eu não me tiro como inocente de algumas narrativas da minha história, eu errei com algumas pessoas enquanto eu crescia. mas até mesmo esses erros, vieram de você. você deturpou minha imagem de amor, você deturpou minha imagem de carinho, de cuidado. começou em você todas as vezes que eu não aceitei amor. você é o motivo que eu não sei amar e ser amada. em mim dói confiar, e começou com você.

eu não tive festas de aniversário, não dormi na casa das minhas amiguinhas. não cultivei amizades, não me arrisquei em paixões. tive crises de pânico o suficiente que me fizeram desistir de planos de carreira. eu não vivi toda uma vida por causa de você. o que teria sido daquela garota sem toda essa dor? o que eu teria feito? qual seria a vida que eu não vivi?

[asexual-spongebob]

The Waves That Lap The Shore - Chapter 18 - the disappearance

Okay so um. I have rsd myself and I was projecting so here’s this- Not to mention, i don’t see people talk abt it much in fanfics. For those who don’t know, Rejection sensitive dysphoria or other wise RSD is a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. - cleveland clinic   I based this chapter in particular off my own RSD episodes I’ve had in the past. ALSO THANK YOU FOR 380 HITS <3 it means the world to me.

Chapter Text

This isn’t worth it.

You should just disappear. 

They don’t care.

All repeated in Kwazii’s head.

Fuck this shit. Kwazii thought angrily as a tear rolled down his cheek. Throwing his Nokia on the floor. Leaving his stuff behind.

Kwazii quietly when out the Octo-Hatch and to the open ocean. Disappearing without a trace. 

•••

Shellington and Peso sat in the kitchen, drinking hot cocoa while Peso endlessly rambled about Pokemon. “Don’t you think it’s a bit… quite?” Shellington remarked after eating some strawberries he cut up “yeah- now that you mention it is-“ Peso agreed “Yeah, like  wouldn’t Kwazii be running around and rambling about pirates and sea monsters right now?” Shellington pointed out.

The two decided to investigate.

They went into Kwazii’s bedroom, only to find his Octo-Watch and Nokia thrown on the floor. 

With a note.

Hey mateys. I’m gonna be gone for awhile. Don’t worry and don’t look for me.

~ Kwazii 

“Oh- JUMPIN’ FUCKIN’ JELLYFISH!” Shellington gasped “Kwazii’s gone?!” Peso couldn’t believe what he’d just read.

“Come on we gotta do something!” Shellington urged, dragging Peso to the lab. 

••• 

Paani was in the shower, she was dramatically singing Mr. Brightside.

“CUZ IM MR BRIGHTSIDE” Paani sang like he was on the verge of tears, once his shower was over he decided to call Kwazii.

They dialed Kwazii’s number. It went straight to voicemail. 

“Huh… that’s weird.. I’ll message them..” Paani decided 

Hey love, hru?

No response.

Paani waited for some hours. Still no response.

Paani decided to go the Octopod. Kwazii would be there, right? 

Paani grabbed their air tank and helmet, she also took her paddle board out to sea, knowing he could also surf if he needed to. He’d seen Dashi do it plenty of times, and he’d done before in the desert. He knew he could do this. 

Paani took their paddle board out to sea, until they reached the Octopod. She put on her helmet and air tank and took a dive. 

Paani entered the Octo-Hatch, “Paani?” Tweak said, slightly surprised. “Where are Peso and Shellington? I need to talk to them.” Paani huffed “up in the lab.” Tweak answered, Paani thanked her before going upstairs. 

“Where’s Kwazii?” Paani interrogated, bursting into the lab with a stern look on his face.

“We don’t know.. they disappeared.. all it left behind was note..” Shellington frowned, handing the note to Paani.

Paani’s expression went from stern to concerned. They started to jitter. They felt knots form in their stomach upon seeing that note. 

“I-“ was all she managed to say, before breaking down on the floor. 

Paani covered her face, sobbing into his jacket, Peso and Shellington hugged him.

Comfort him like how you would comfort Shellington.Peso told itself, stroking Paani’s back.

“It’s okay! We’ll find him!” Shellington assured.

“What’s going on in here?” Dashi asked as she entered the room, raising her eyebrow “Kwazii went missing…” Shellington frowned, turning to face them. “Oh shit-“ Dashi remarked “how did they go missing?” They asked “I think it was having an episode… based off this note it left behind..” Shellington sighed, handing the note to Dashi.

“I’ll tell Captain!” Peso said, running to the HQ, Dashi, Shellington and Paani followed. 

Professor Inkling and Captain Barnacles were chatting in the Launch Bay. 

“Captain! Captain!” Peso panted “Oh hi Peso!” Captain Barnacles then took an awkward pause, noticing the expressions on everyone’s faces.

“What happened?” He asked, breaking the awkward silence “Kwazii’s gone… all he left was this note..” Peso sighed “OH NO!” Captain Barnacles gasped, dropping his mug on the floor. hoping this was a nightmare he’d soon wake up from.

Professor Inkling almost fainted at those words. Kwazii went missing?

“Peso, you look for them at Mako Island, Paani, you go look on land, and Shellington, you look for him at the coral reef.” Captain Barnacles ordered “aye aye Captain!” Peso said, him, Paani and Shellington ran out of the HQ and down to the Launch Bay.

•••

Shellington swam out to the coral reef. 

“Kwazii!!!” Shellington called out, looking in each direction. There was no sign of the orange cat. “Kwazii???” Shellington repeated. No response. All the was heard was the sound of orca songs near by. 

Peso went to Mako. It might be at the moon pool Peso figured, he knew that’s where Kwazii went for comfort or if he was having a bad day. 

“Kwazii?” Peso echoed as it resurfaced from the Moon Pool. No sigh of Kwazii. 

“Kwazii!!!” Paani called out in a raspy  voice on the beach, their eyes still puffy from crying so much, Paani looked around some more. No sign of the orange, Cheeto colored cat.

••• 

Shellington and Peso resurfaced on the coast of Queensland, where Paani was. 

“Any sign of him?” Shellington said “no.. Paani frowned “we might have to look in more places… even outside Queensland..” Peso pointed out “Yeah- Mako sharks can go up to 46 miles per hour or 74.03 kilometers and Kwazii has a Mako shark tail-“ Shellington added.

“Okay  then… How about you and Peso stay here while me and Tweak will go to Sydney, and Captain Barnacles and Dashi will go look in New South Wales?” Paani suggested “yeah! I’ll send Dashi, Captain and Tweak directions!” Peso said, texting the group chat.

•••

Dashi and Captain Barnacles roamed New South Wales, asking anyone they came across if they’d seen Kwazii. 

“Hey, do you think you’ve seen him? He went missing earlier today and we haven’t seen him since” Captain Barnacles explained to a pedestrian. 

“Nah sorry mate, haven’t seen him” she said “thank you anyway!” Captain Barnacles replied. 

“Hey have you seen him? He’s one of my coworkers and he disappeared easier without a trace.” Dashi explained “no sorry… haven’t seen him.” The sugar glider replied “oh.. thank you anyway.” Dashi replied back.

Dashi and Captain Barnacles walked around, asking people for many hours. Nobody had seen Kwazii.

•••

Paani was walking around on the shores of Sydney with Tweak. 

Paani noticed a beach cave on the shore, Paani heard an echoey, raspy, mewing sound. 

Could this be Kwazii? Paani wondered. 

Paani entered the cave and glanced around. There was a glimmer of hope.

“Who’s there?” Kwazii rasped, only to realize it was Paani.

“Paani?” Kwazii mewed, sounding unsure “yeah. It’s me.” Paani said, appearing from the shadows. 

“Why did you leave?” Paani asked softly, sitting beside Kwazii, placing a comforting hand on the cat’s shoulder. “I guess I just wanted to get away from it all… ye know..” Kwazii answered. 

Paani wanted say something, but he didn’t. They kept their mouth shut, she figured  that Kwazii had more to say. 

“Paan… can I let you in on a little secret…” Kwazii sighed “yeah sure” Paani replied,  “I have rsd…” Kwazii admitted “what’s rsd?” Paani asked “Rejection sensitive dysphoria..” Kwazii answered “I’ve had it for a long time… sense I was a wee little kitten.” Kwazii added.

“I was having an episode…” Kwazii acknowledged “I was gonna go to me grandad’s but I ended up swimming all the way out here…” Kwazii added “Im sorry for this mess… I wish I could go back in time and fix it..” Kwazii apologized, their ears flattened and tail lowered.

“Hey. All that matters is that you’re safe.” Paani stated “can we please go home now?” Kwazii begged “of course!” Paani said. 

Paani and Kwazii walked back to the Terra-Gup-2.

Tweak in the Terra-Gup-2. A stern expression appeared on her face as soon as Kwazii walked into the gup. 

“Why did you leave like that!?” Tweak questioned, clearly upset “Hey. Please Go easy on the guy. It was having an episode.” Paani lectured “no.. she has a right to be upset.” Kwazii began “I mean.. come on… I left a concerning note and made you guys look everywhere for me..” Kwazii finished “mhm.” Tweak hummed.

“I’m just glad you’re okay. I thought you were in danger.” Tweak sighed of relief “same here” Paani said as he held Kwazii tight. 

Tweak called the others from her Octo-Watch “hey y’all. We can go home now. Paani found Kwazii!” Tweak beamed. 

Kwazii and Paani took a nap as Tweak drove back to the Octopod. 

•••

The Terra-Gup-2 emerged from the water in the Launch Bay tank.

Kwazii saw a huge banner that said “welcome back Kwaz!”. 

Professor Inkling, Shellington, Dashi, Peso, Captain Barnacles and the Vegimals stood in the Launch Bay. 

“Kwazii!” Peso cheered “we were worried sick!”   Dashi added 

Tominnow started letting out angry vegimal noises. 

“Hey sweetie.. chill out.. we don’t know the full story.” Shellington pointed out softly, glancing over at his daughter. “I’m just glad you’re okay!” Captain Barnacles said, letting out a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry mateys.. I promise I’ll never do that again!” Kwazii promised “why did you leave though?” Dashi questioned, as politely as she could. “I was having an RSD episode..” Kwazii admitted, flattening his ears and looking away from Dashi. 

“Oh.. I’m sorry.” Dashi frowned, knowing what it was like to be in Kwazii’s position “don’t apologize matey. It ain’t your fault.” Kwazii made clear. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys… I would have but I was scared you’d see me different… if that makes sense..” Kwazii said, letting out a sigh “I thought you’d see me as weak.. and I didn’t want that..” Kwazii clarified.

“It’s okay Kwazii, we don’t see you any different just because of this.” Inkling assured, everyone else nodding in agreement.

“Anyway. Me and Paani  are going to go dance to Spice Girls upstairs.” Kwazii proclaimed, changing subject, they then went upstairs with Paani. 

Kwazii looked for one of their  Spice Girls cds, they chose Spiceworld. It skipped around through the tracks before finding the right one.

Do you still remember how we used to be?

Feeling together, believing whatever

My love has said to me

Both of us were dreamers

Started playing as they both danced and held hands.

[caotizante]

Por trás de todos nós existe um lado fraco, é um pouco perigoso, depressão, compulsões, às vezes uma nova recaída. Nem pensar, talvez esse seja meu verdadeiro eu, droga, me sinto distante da realidade. O conflito com o ideal, minha cabeça dói, a fobia social apareceu quando eu tinha uns 18 anos, certo, foi ali que minha mente foi ficando cada vez mais contaminada. As vezes até eu tenho medo mim mesmo graças ao autodesprezo e a depressão que está de volta ao jogo, meu eu já está morto, eu o matei. Já faz muito tempo desde que minha rotina se tornou comparar minhas paixões mortas com as dos outros. Na minha primeira ida ao psiquiatra meus pais vieram comigo, nos consultamos juntos, segundo eles, eles não me conhecem direito. Eu também não me conheco direito, então quem conheceria? Um amigo? Ou você? Ninguém me conhece direito. O doutor me perguntou se eu já tinha tentado suicídio, eu respondi sem hesitação que eu já tinha, sim. Palavras ditas como um hábito: "Eu não ligo pra essa porra, eu tô pouco me fodendo", todas essas palavras, eu as digo na tentativa de esconder meu lado fraco. Queria apagar esses dias, os dias que nem me lembro, o dia em que me escondi no banheiro com medo das pessoas e me confrontei. Naquela época eu pensava que sucesso compensaria tudo mas veja bem, quanto mais o tempo passa, mais sinto que tô virando um monstro. Eu troquei minha juventude por um monstro chamado depressão e ele demanda por riquezas bem maiores. Antes uma arma, a ganância agora me engole, me destrói e de vez em quando me bota uma coleira. Merda, eu já entendi, então por favor pare, já que eu sou a raiz de tudo isso eu mesmo acabo com isso. Se minha infelicidade é sua felicidade eu serei infeliz com muito prazer, se eu sou um objeto de ódio eu vou até a guilhotina. As coisas que eu apenas imaginava se tornando realidade, meus sonhos de infância diante dos meus olhos. Só se vive uma vez, por isso quero viver intensamente, uma vida fácil qualquer um vive, meus amigos, minha família, espero que não se preocupem, eu realmente tô bem agora, pra cacete. Eu já neguei minha natureza muitas vezes, meu eu, eu não nego. O tormento tomou conta da minha mente inúmeras vezes, no final da peregrinação não havia resposta correta. O orgulho que pensei ter vendido se tornou auto-respeito, mantenham suas cabeças erguidas com orgulho, porque quem consegue fazer isso como eu? Nós nos vendemos, mas vocês, não é que não quiseram fazer isso, vocês não puderam, merda. A raiz da minha criação já provou o gosto doce, o amargo e até o da bosta desse mundo. A vez em que tentei adormecer no chão do banheiro agora é uma lembrança, se tornou lembrança e você fingindo na frente dos outros que teve dificuldades. Eu sou nascido do ódio, olhe bem pra mim.

[The last - AgustD]

[seaofvoyage]

Hello there, Crews!

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