#Master Talus

[ruairy]

.

[critical-birb]

Even MORE Age of Calamity things I find funny:

-The Goron/Rito/Gerudo/Zora and Hylian armies all being identical clones for graphical reasons.

-Master Koga having a stress bar that fills up when he gets hit, and if it reaches full he just lays on the ground and kicks and cries like a toddler. The only two ways to prevent this from happening are eating a banana or SHOOTING A DEADLY LAZER FROM YOUR FACE.

-When Koga uses the stasis rune on the sheika slate, he accidently freezes himself instead of the enemy and the Yiga clan beat the shit out of him so he'll go flying into the enemy at high speeds when he's unfrozen.

-The SHEER amount of times Revali says the words "Finally, it is time to show everyone our true power" in cutscenes. Like. My guy. Its been like seven times now. Still waiting.

-The fucking mission where you're in the middle of a war and have to defete the malice hinnox, guardian, talus, as well as the ice/fire/electric moblins - only for Zelda's cutscene being like "...No!!!!! The BLOOD MOON!!!!! THEY'RE BACK!" and for you to immediatly have to fight them all over again akskdjfjfjf. As hilarious as it is frustrating.

-all the characters complimenting one another when they win. Very wholesome. Also them asking for help when they're in trouble. Except Revali who is frequently like "I'm a busy bird - but I supose I can help you if I must" and "I didn't need your help but I supose it's fine you were here."

-Yunobos weapon being a rock roast. Riju's weapon being a hair tie?? What even are the weapons in this game seriously.

-The batshit wild combo moves. Revali's fire tornado, Mipha's mega orb of water drowning bokoblins left right and center and Sidon's mega shark, Literally everything Urbosa does. Then the goofy ones like Koga being picked up by Yiga dudes and carried around and Riju summoning her soldiers to smack people for her.

-Goddess mode Zelda. Babe just floating around glowing like an angel while absolutely obliterating enemies with vibes alone.

-King Rhoams special move being.....changing clothes to look like a wood cutter. Apparently he liked to disguise himself as a mysterious old man even before he died. This also does absolutely nothing in terms of fighting advantages. He literally just changes clothes.

[askthenewritoelder]

Being the Rito Elder is definitely a challenge, I’d say more challenging than being a warrior. There’s a lot of bookkeeping, paperwork, keeping up with the other tribes, meetings, everything expected from a leader I guess. There are some monster encampments that we clear out and the occasional Talus or Hinox, but otherwise things have been pretty quiet since the blizzard situation. It’s a nice feeling to see everyone look up to you, but at the same time there’s an intense pressure to do things right for the sake of your people. I’m forever grateful for Saki being there to ground me when times get tough.

It makes me wonder what life would be like if I remained a Rito warrior like Master Revali; training yourself to the bone to become the strongest. I don’t have as much time to be at the Flight Range like I used to so I treasure every visit when I have the chance, especially with Tulin. I miss the times when I was able to go with him nearly every day, though he probably doesn’t need me there as much as before. I once complained about it being babysitting but looking back, I should have valued those experiences more.

[rewrittenwrongs]

📓

>:D

Okay, the working title for this WIP is ‘how the spirits wail’. It’s a continuation of a discontinued fic someone else wrote called ‘and how the spirits sing’. Where the fic left off, Wild was stuck in Hyrule Castle using the Master Sword to seal Ganon, the Chain is at the inn in Hateno, and Sky has an injury dealt by a guardian refusing to heal. The premise is that Wild does some ghosty shit and befriends the Chain as a helpful spirit, while they wander around Hyrule looking for this era’s hero. He’s already met Hyrule and helped him make soup for the others.

I have far too many ideas. About them talking to Purah, investigating the Shrines, running from Lynels like chickens with their heads cut off, freaking out over Talus’s and Hinox’s, finding the ruins of Lon Lon ranch, asking around for the Princess, hearing all these stories about this era’s hero yet being unable to find him, all while this strange boy who never speaks and has too many scars helps them on their journey.

The scene I can see clearest in my head is one where someone, I’m thinking Legend or Twilight, gets really injured. Like, actively seconds from death, and all the Chain is scrambling around looking for potions and fairies they’ve already used. Meanwhile their friend is doing something, but they don’t notice until he disappears and a glowing blue ball of magic slams into Legend’s chest, and the ghost of a Zora girl appears over his body. She’s furious, she’s glaring at Hyrule Castle like it owes her money, but also she’s doing something to Legend—she’s healing his wounds, and as he wakes up seconds before she disappears, she bares her teeth and demands that he does not waste this gift.

So. That’s what I want it to be. That’s what it is in my head. But I’ve written like three sentences sooo…

[squidhominid]

List of included Nintendo Alarmo alarms

Super Mario Odyssey

Chain Chomp at Fossil Falls

Meeting Peach in the Mushroom Kingdom

Spinning Athletics as Yoshi

Speaking with the Bubblaine Sphynx

Exploring Lake Lamode

Hammer Bros. on Mount Volbono

The New Donk City Festival

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Awakening to Adventure

Bokoblin Battle

Stasis Trial

Searching for Korok Seeds

Great Fairy Fountain

Stone Talus Battle

Learning to Become the Wind

Pikmin 4

Collecting Treasure

Rushing the Bulborb!

Facing the Fiery Blowhog

Breaking through the Electric Gate

Saving the Drowning Pikmin

Protecting the Lumiknoll

Dancing under Groovy Long Legs

Splatoon 3

Clickbait by C-Side

Sandy Side Up by Front Roe

Aquasonic by H2Whoa

Slopping Spree by Chirpy Chips

Fins in the Air by Deep Cut

Salmon Run

Story Mode: the Final Battle

Ring Fit Adventure

Meadow Run, then Air Blast!

First Fit Battle!

Fierce Fight in the Treasury!

River Rowing on a Raft!

Final Battle against the Four Masters!

A Snowy, Soaring Valley!

Nighttime Battle Gym!

All games have a 'Shuffle Daily' option that picks a scene at random, and the entire list has a 'Shuffle Daily' option that picks a scene from any game at random.

[kyndaris]

The Hylian Grind

My first few hours in Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom left much to be desired. At first, I couldn't quite see the appeal of the sequel to Breath of the Wild (and unlike those who played it on Switch, I played and finished the game on the ill-fated Wii U). It seemed like more of the same except, of course, with a slightly different set of tools on Link's belt. Weapons still broke frequently and he was severely underpowered against most enemies in the world save the humble bokoblin.

But, much like how I tackled the Talus enemies in the game, something shifted and I began enjoying it a bit more. Was it the fact I now had semi-decent weapons or materials to fuse Link's decaying weapons to? Maybe it was the accumulation of hearts to serve as a buffer against the damage my armour was failing to cushion.

Or, perhaps I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, a la Sorrengail's assertions. Which, in my estimation, is a little extreme. After all, I'm not being held prisoner by Tears of the Kingdom. I can put it aside at any time. I...just...simply choose not to (but also because I like to finish the games I play unless I completely don't click with them - see Soul Sacrifice on the PlayStation Vita or Codename: STEAM).

Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom released in 2023 to critical acclaim. However, unlike many others, I was unable to scrap together a decent enough portion of time to put a dent in the massive game. After all, I was still drowning in many other releases and desperately trying to play catch-up.

Come August 2024, though, and I was ready to take on saving Hyrule from Ganondorf. Little did I know, the game would end up sucking up hundreds of hours and it would not be until the end of September that I'd be able to complete it.

Although, given my completionist tendencies, I should have known better when I finally descended from the the Great Sky Island and began my trek to the Rito village in Hebra.

From a story perspective, Tears of the Kingdom keeps it simple. The opening moments see Link and Zelda descending down into the depths of Hyrule Castle. There, they stumble upon a ruins containing several murals that tell of a great war before their time. It isn't long before they find the desiccated body of an ancient creature. When Zelda reaches out to it, and the secret stone it holds (should have honestly named them sacred stones but maybe they didn't want to have it confused with Fire Emblem), the creature wakes up and attacks the two with its corrupting red tendrils. In a bid to protect Zelda, Link's right arm is sucked dry of vitality. Worse, the Master Sword is damaged beyond repair.

Before Zelda and Link can even think to flee, the ground beneath Zelda plunges down and whilst the rest of Hyrule Castle is sent skywards. Though Link tries valiantly to reach for his princess, Zelda plummets into the depths before vanishing in a flash of golden light. Before Link falls to his doom, however, he is saved by a floating sentient arm. Losing consciousness soon afterwards, Link awakens on a floating island, his withered right arm replaced.

How such a thing is possible, we will never know. It simply does. We'll call it Zonai magic for now. But, given this is a Zelda game, many of the larger mysteries of the world will remain unanswered. Rather, Link is focused on simply finding Zelda and saving Hyrule (or what remains of it) from the encroaching threat of the Demon King (seriously, they haven't even rebuilt the castle and the people are scattered all across the map. These people don't even have a standing army!)

Link's first order of business is heading to Hyrule Castle before Purah, a Sheikah descendant, sends Link out to figure out the regional phenomena plaguing the rest of Hyrule. It is only after Link manages to resolve the issues plaguing the Rito, Gorons, Gerudo and the Zora - collecting more secret stones along the way and unlocking the power of the elemental sages - that Link is then requested to find the Fifth Sage.

With Mineru at his side, Link is directed to find the Master Sword to finally banish the darkness that is Ganondorf.

Along the way, Link must traverse the width and breadth of Hyrule. I know I certainly did in my playthrough as I unlocked each of the Skyview Towers and committed myself to completing all the shrines scattered across the world.

Then, of course, there were the Dragon Tears, or, in this case, the titular Tears of the Kingdom. Visiting each of the new glyphs that had suddenly cropped up around Hyrule, Link was able to relive Zelda's memories from the time she had vanished in a shower of golden light.

Having taken the secret stone, Zelda travelled back in time to the very beginning of Hyrule. There, she befriended King Rauru and his wife, Queen Sonia. It wasn't long before she, too, had to contend with Ganondorf and his quest for more power - and thus shedding some backstory to the enigmatic villain found underneath Hyrule Castle.

Of course, besides a thirst for power, there isn't much to Ganondorf's character. His is not a sympathetic story of a downtrodden Gerudo boy who struggled to become king. And frankly, it's enough. Although why he wants to take over Hyrule is anyone's guess given how many of the Hylians, Gerudo, Zora, Gorans and the Rito are still struggling to rebuild their once great civilisations following the Calamity.

Heck, their current societies aren't even very advanced except for the the Purah Pad (which allows Link to teleport to any shrines or Skyview Tower).

From a gameplay perspective, there is little that has been changed from Breath of the Wild. Link has shields, bows and a myriad of weapons at his disposal. Just like the last game, they will break after frequent use - an annoying design decision but at least was explained in the narrative this time round.

Then, of course, there's the new suite of powers Link has at his disposal like UltraHand, Fuse, Ascend and Recall.

And here, I believe, it is important to return to my Battle Talus analogy. You see, when I first started playing Tears of the Kingdom, I struggled to take on the Battle Talus in a meaningful way although I was always determined to do so. The Battle Talus, fortunately, had several platforms on its shoulders. Once the bokoblins were killed, it was simply a matter of getting on to the platform.

My problem, of course, was how?

Like an idiot, I started the game by trying to lift myself higher by creating fire. This worked for a time, although Link still had to dodge all the boulders thrown his way as one unlucky shot would kill him instantly.

Unfortunately, starting a fire meant I could only take these creatures on in places with burnable material. Like grass.

Up in the Hebra mountains, there wasn't as much available.

Of course, that was when I remembered I had a slew of special powers I could use. The first one that came to my mind was Ascend. Once the Battle Talus had thrown its boulders, I could run up close to it and Ascend up to where its weak point was located.

This also worked for a time. Until I encountered the other Talus in the game: Frost, Fire and Stone Talus. None of these creatures had platforms and climbing up them whilst they were trying to actively kill Link was not an easy task.

And that was when it finally clicked.

Link had the ability to recall objects and send them back from whence they came. And it was this that turned out to be the key in taking down the Talus minibosses in the area.

Should I have kicked myself for taking so long to figuring out the best way to take down these creatures? Probably. But given I was playing through the game blind and had found alternative (albeit less effective) ways of taking them down, it was certainly an adventure. One that remains in my mind because of how challenging I initially found them.

Beyond these tools, Link can also sneak around, flurry rush and parry (although without the guardian death beams to worry about, I tend to dodge more). It's nothing overtly complicated from a combat perspective.

What is different is the player's approach to problem solving. Which, with Ultrahand and Ascend, is a lot easier because should one have the materials on hand, it's quite simple to brute force various answers instead of struggling to find the one intended by the developers. For example, if you simply can't get the timing just right to leap off a moving minecart to reach the ledge above you, why not simply tape together blocks of cooled lava to create an unwieldy bridge you can simply run across?

It is this flexibility that is Tears of the Kingdom's greatest strength. Yes, the weapon breaking is tedious and the cooking is somewhat novel at the start, but it's the possibilities of what one can create to solve their immediate problems that enthralled me. I mean, I'll never be able to create the complex contraptions others have to deal with mobs in as quick a farmer as possible to farm materials for crafting, but I've been able to navigate my way around Hyrule well enough to enjoy the time I've spent in it.

Were I to give it a score, I'd give this game a solid 7.5 out of 10. There are some mechanics here I've enjoyed but I'm also fatigued by the very large nature of the open-world.

In fact, much of the music never did stand out to me. Most of my adventure around Hyrule also involved listening to video essays from the likes of Shanspeare, Tara Mooknee and Haley Whipjack (as she recapped Season 4 of Once Upon a Time) as a means to distract myself from the very real grind Tears of the Kingdom requires to explore each nook and cranny.

It probably didn't help that this was the sequel to the beloved Breath of the Wild, which was the very first open-world Zelda game. And because of that, despite adding in the depths and the sky islands to explore, the awe I found in the first game was no longer present. I'd already been to Hyrule and saved it.

Now I had to do it again but with additional places to explore? Hylia, no!

And, let's be real, who, in this day and age, has the time to hunt for 1,000 korok seeds? Certainly not me. I didn't even reach a fifth of the total number!

All in all, Tears of the Kingdom is a good game. A great game, even. But for me, it simply didn't quite reach the heights of what I've come to expect from video games. And that, dear reader, is certainly an opinion on the internet. One from a humble blogger who has played a large variety of games over the many years of her existence.

But it is important to note that my opinion is by no means, the definitive stance on the game. Sorrengail, I hope you'll read this one day and realise I wasn't taken hostage! Despite its best attempts, I wasn't entirely swayed to its side.

But also, FINISH THE GAME!

As for bleachpanda, FINISH Final Fantasy XV, YOU COWARD!

[alelelesimz]

tips for making combat as easy as possible in the switch zelda games? i get so nervous with every single monster and can barely play the game 🫣

oh babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy thank you for letting me yap about zelda this is my favorite thing to do!!!!!

i'm gonna talk about totk bc that's what i'm playing rn but if you're playing botw and something here doesn't really work, let me know and i'll help you out! i had strategies for every monster too. i'm also not talking about actual bosses so if you need help with any of those also let me know, they're all very easy once you understand their mechanics :)

if you're not good with flurry rush or parrying or any of those things, don't worry neither am i! so here's a list on how i brute force everything as efficient as i can!

careful, long ass post below :D

some little tips:

every monster has a mechanic, you just need to learn their patterns and repeat them a bunch

you can always pause to change your armor or weapon or heal and your inventory is huge so you can have a bunch of food that will help you

if all else fails, you can teleport yourself somewhere else and come back when you feel ready!

if there's a specific enemy that scares you too much, there's no shame in checking a map online to mark them in your game to avoid them

read what npcs tell you about monsters, they give you a ton of hints on how to fight many of them

if you're playing botw, stasis is an amazing tool! once you upgrade it you can freeze creatures for a bit which is very useful. also great to detect if a decayed guardian is still alive or if a big rock is actually a talus

if you're on totk, you can also detect monsters like taluses and evermeans with the camera!

other tips: if you know all of this skip to where i start talking about monsters

FOOD: very important! what makes zelda so easy is that you can literally pause at any moment and fill your hearts. and you don't really need to be a chef you just need to know what ingredients do. if you add five of the same ingredient it will give you a better effect. here's an example of stuff i use often:

hylian tomatoes: a bunch of hearts

hearty truffles/radishes: max hearts + extra hearts

sundelions: restores gloom damage

mighty bananas: attack power

ironshrooms: defense

(in botw durians were the best fucking thing in the game bc they were so easy to farm. i miss them sm!!!)

etc. you can google this if you wanna learn more but basically always have some of these in your inventory for when you're going to attack monsters

ARMOR: in this playthrough i just maxed my champion's leathers, hylian hood and hylian trousers. they were easy (just time consuming) to upgrade and it's not bad for when you're getting hit.

other than that i'm trying to upgrade as much as i can the snowquill set so i don't get frozen, the flamebreaker set so i don't get cooked in the volcano, the desert voe set so i don't melt in the desert and the depths set so gloom doesn't destroy me. for electric attacks i just use the lightning helm and in another universe i would also upgrade the barbarian set bc of the attack but i will NOT be fighting a bunch of lynels absolutely fucking not.

remember to use the correct set when you're fighting elemental monsters btw! many times the elemental attacks literally won't hurt you at all if you have the set bonuses

other than that i don't really bother upgrading almost anything else bc it's annoying and not worth it! this is the only completionist thing i don't care about

WEAPONS (kinda useless for botw): FUSE 👏 YOUR 👏 WEAPONS 👏 monster horns are good for fusing, fusing weapons with other weapons is good too (especially the gloom ones so they don't hurt you!). i'm killing a bunch of talusses and flux constructs, the thing they drop is always good to fuse. go crazy with fusing! remember you can also fuse stuff to the master sword!!!

also remember to fuse stuff to your arrows!

bomb flowers: your absolute best friend (rip auto bombs)

eyes: hits monsters right on their weak points

chuchu jellies or elemental fruits: amazing for elemental monsters

puffshrooms: monsters have a harder time noticing you

gibdo bones: easy to get in the desert and add A TON of strength to your arrows (bad for melee weapons tho)

another thing is shields! i barely use them bc i'm bad at this game, so i have most of my shields fused to rockets!!! since revali's gale is gone (rip) this is what i use now to get out of a tricky situation or to avoid climbing a lot.

SAGES (also useless for botw): hot take but i actually like having them around, i only dismiss them when they get annoying but they're actually quite useful. they usually take down small monsters like keeses and octorocks before i even realize i'm being attacked and when fighting a big monster or a horde of monsters they help you take them down faster! mineru is the only one i never use

okay i can't think of anything else so here's my strategy for every overworld monster (not actual bosses like ganondorf)

MONSTERS!!

(if you're on botw you don't need to worry about frox, gleeok, constructs or gloom spawns btw, also remember stasis is your friend here and the champions abilities are amazing, especially urbosa's)

HINOX: [weak point: the eye] easiest monster to kill. just throw an arrow with an eye and you will hit it right in the eye lol. once it's down get a double handed weapon and long press the Y button to do that spin attack or do the fast attack with a spear weapon, that works too.

STONE TALUS: [weak point: ore on top or back] get underneath it and use ascent to get on top, then use a double handed weapon with a rock fused or something to make a hammer and hit it with the spin attack on the ore thing. for taluses with the ore on the back just spam arrows with bombs (not in the ones in the volcano caves tho they will explode in your face!!!!) for frost talus just throw a fire fruit at it to stun it fast and same for igneo talus with ice fruits. for battle taluses try to kill the bokoblins first if you can bc they're a nuisance, then ascend on the platform and hit it. oh and i just learned that if they throw their arm at you you can throw it back with Recall omg!!!!

MOLDUGA: [weak point: the belly] these bitches were so much easier in botw with auto bombs but worry not they're still pretty easy. they can't see you but they can hear your steps in the sand so all you have to do is get on top of any rock or building and throw something at the sand like an apple or something you won't miss. it will hear whatever you throw and come out of the sand to attack it, this is when you throw an arrow with a bomb at them to stun them. now just get close and hit it on the belly and that's it just get back on top of a rock when it goes into the sand again.

FLUX CONSTRUCTS: [weak point: the one different cube that moves around] for these guys Recall and Ultrahand are the tools you need. use Ultrahand to grab the weak point cube, if you miss it just keep removing any block you can grab. once you grab the correct one you will take apart the whole thing so just find the weak one and smack it as much as you can. for the one attack where it throws a bunch of cubes at you just run to the side so they don't hit you and then get on top of one and use Recall on it, it will bring you right to the weak point.

FROX: [weak point: the eye] for froxes you can do the same thing that you do with hinox where you throw an arrow at the eye but i find it easier to wait for it to inhale you kirby style and this is when you throw a bomb at it. it will stun it quickly and you have enough time to get on top of it and destroy the ores it has on its back. if it charges at you just fucking run to the side so it doesn't eat you.

GLEEOKS: [weak point: the three eyes] the scariest one so far but not that bad after you fight it. as always just throw an arrow with an eye at it but this time throw three as fast as you can! if you have a lynel bow that does x3 arrows that would be better but if not just spam eye arrows. like with any other elemental, fire against ice and ice against fire, but any eye is fine so don't worry if you don't have enough. once it's down hit it on one of the heads. if you can manage to kill it fast then yay you don't get to the hardest part but if not! it will fly up high and charge at you some elemental attacks:

frost gleeoks will throw some icicles at you, you can see where they fall so avoid them, then get on top of one and use Recall to go up high. also it's better if you don't have any flame weapons equipped at this moment cause they will melt the icicles!

flame gleeoks throw a big fireball, get the hell out of there so the impact doesn't hit you. this will create an updraft that will take you close to it

thunder gleeoks throw lightning at you, but before they hit you, you'll see some beams of light on the floor. avoid them and after they hit they also create an updraft that will get you up there

once near the gleeok just do the eye arrows thing again and it will fall down. they take fall damage so i usually just have to do this whole thing once!

LYNELS: not a boss thank god but probably harder. my strategy: avoid them :) but if you have to fight them: throw a puffshroom so it can't see you, once you're closer throw an arrow with an eye to stun it, then run to the back of it and mount it, once on top you can hit it five times so get the strongest fucking weapon you have! then repeat the whole thing until it's dead 🙏 it's better to fight them from up close cause they have pretty hard attacks when you're far away

GLOOM HANDS: RUN!!! jk (kinda) they can't climb anything so get on top of a platform or something and spam bombs at all the hands. don't wait too much tho cause the hands will reappear if you don't kill them all. then there's phantom ganon but i don't find it that hard? just hit him a lot and have some good food on you cause it does hit hard. i avoid these fuckers as much as i can bc they're too scary lol and not that worth it. the worst part is that they appear out of fucking nowhere so i always mark their location on the map and get the hell out of there.

people will tell you that phantom ganon and lynels give the best weapons which is true but i find them not that worth it considering how much i hate fighting them! so don't feel like you need to fight them if you don't want to

THAT'S IT I THINK??????? don't be scared remember that they all have very specific mechanics so just repeat the patterns and you will get rid of all of them super fast!!! if you need help with literally any other monster let me know! i actually love combat in these games cause it's pretty easy and many times very silly

[metfell]

alright heres what ive got so far:

Aylin Penrose: Pearler, she/her, aro lesbian, Halo Disorder, researcher at Singularity University in the project to research and defeat the Ender Dragon. trapped in the overworld by her higher ups, aylin is looking for a way back home.

Gwynfor: Farlander, he/they/it, unlabed, lives a hermit lifestyle out in the farlands, but hopes to one day see the spawn chunks. fascinated by frogs. will maybe meet another mob or maybe a player and become friends with them on their journey to spawn.

Beta Enderman: unnamed but thinking about the name Talus or Beetle. lots of anxiety, they live down at deepslate level in a cave above an ancient city. they try not to go too far down, because the sculk spores are incredibly infectious. very handy, they defend themselves when cornered by holding a torch up to their vents and igniting it and using it as a flamethrower.

Theta Aldrin(<- may change last name): Winged, she/he, massive lesbian, roommate of Aylin Penrose. Was locked out of the dorm because she never shows up. works for higher ups in university now, and is considered the new shining star of draconic research. is often used to test out ways to take the dragon out of the sky. master archer and tipped arrow craftsman.

i want an overworld and dragonspawn one still, but for now thats what i got :]

[trashedump]

"oc: murder link" would you like to share with the class ashe

AKSJLRHFKD so basically. on my breath of the wild master mode playthrough i ended up accidentally creating a linksona. i called him murder link.

he was basically the same as canon link except he woke up Wrong—a sudden urge to Kill Everything awakened in him the moment he was revived. the reason this came about was because, well, this was master mode—i found myself getting destroyed by enemies constantly due to my weak weapons, so i decided the solution was to kill a bunch of enemies and steal their stronger weapons. this ended in me basically going on a killing spree across the great plateau, fighting the talus just to see if i could (i may have avoided the lynel lol, i wasn’t that confident), and thus the lore of Murder Link began.

blood/violence under the cut:

some more doodles—the “and murder” drawing has been my discord pfp for who knows how long

he was also a particularly bad influence on sidon

my favorite tale from this playthrough, though, is that of the murder horse. i got the sidequest where a guy asks you to give him a horse, then breaks his promise to take care of them by cruelly selling them away. i decided murder link would not stand for this, so i thought of a solution.

i found a horse with decently good stats and a wild temperament, and registered him at a stable under the name “gonakillu” (short for “horse that is going to kill you”). i then trained him to be the perfect killing machine, making him run over birds, goats, etc and rewarding him with apples each time. when i was confident he was ready, i sold him to the npc, trusting gonakillu to succeed in his mission: killing the bastard.

i later ran into the npc at a stable—obviously his ghost since there’s no way gonakillu could have failed. he said he’d sold the horse—again, clearly he was in denial of what really happened. but murder link began to miss his murder horse companion, and journeyed to find gonakillu again.

i soon found him—a horse with the same stats and appearance, running around and terrorizing a monster camp. i registered him back at the stable, and thus gonakillu remained at murder link’s side for the rest of the playthrough, even joining him for the final, ultimate murder: calamity ganon himself.

so. yeah. to answer your question that’s the story of my beloved, edgy-in-a-silly-way link oc, born entirely from me just goofing off in botw. thank u for coming to my tedtalk

[luimagines]

Four's spouse being absolutely terrifying when mad is very accurate. Not much really pisses them off except when it involves their loved ones are hurt, food waste and their current catch being chased away like the Gohma scaring off the boar. Otherwise Reader is mostly nonchalant.

Four does ask his lover to throw him on a few occasions, mainly when adventuring as the married couple are quite the tag team. Both fight completely in sync even when the Colors are thrown into the mix. So Wind and Wild asking for Reader to throw them wouldn't be much of a problem if they have a destination in mind.

Warriors: You're seriously going to oblige them?!

Reader: If they know where they want to go and have a way to land. My husband does this whenever we explore a dungeon together.

Wind: *takes out the Korok Leaf* Toss me as high as you can and I'll land on the roof!

Reader: *tosses the teen 60 ft into the air*

Twilight: WHAT THE????!

Wild: That is AWESOME!

(Wind does land safely and got scolded by Twilight. Wild also gets tossed too while Sky contemplates on asking.)

Reader's strength is the most insane thing about them. Combat chefs don't fight with their bare hands as its a chef's most important tool. You can't cook without them. They are a close range fighter so Reader uses their legs to fight.

One technique that Four's love tends to use is called Sky Walk. This skill allows Reader to literally walk on AIR and can only be taught by a master. Our heroes find this out when Wild spots something odd on his Sheikah Slate.

Wild: WHAT THE FUCK?! FOUR, HOW IS YOUR SPOUSE WALKING ON AIR?!!

Hyrule: I'm sorry what?

Time: *uses the Lens of Truth and sees Reader is actually walking to the house on nothing* Smithy, did you marry a god???

Four: Reader isn't a god. They're just using Sky Walk, a super secret technique. Like this! *begins walking on air*

Warriors: DEAR HYLIA!

Four hasn't really mastered the technique as it takes a few years so he can only walk at least 30 ft before he has to touch the ground. The looks on his comrades' faces are hilarious though. Smithy literally hid such a technique that would make any pitfall traps worthless.

Now Dink is most likely the type to use the heroes' loved ones to his advantage. When the Chain are traveling through Warrior's Hyrule Fields they did not expect a Dodongo to come crashing down with a footprint deep in its chest. All of them knew only one person could do this and rush to where it came from.

Surrounded by Taluses, Dodongos, Darknuts and Hinoxes was an absolutely livid Reader. One of the Links were quick to spot the abnormal nervous Darknut in the group, Dink who's currently regretting his decision. Especially when Reader's lower half of their legs ignite a fiery orange coat. They flames didn't seem to harm them but clearly burn the ground.

A sign that has Four split and push his comrades away a good distance from the fight cause he knew what is about to happen.

Green: The shadow really done it now!

Legend: What's going on?!

Vio: Diable Jambe, one of our lover's more destructive techniques. Trust us when we say you don't want to get hit by that!

Reader: My food is burning because of you bastards! Only fair that I return the favor! Diable Jambe- Party Table Kick Course!

Everyone watches as the chef lets loose scorching hot kicks with a handstand while spinning. The heat alone melted the Stone Talus and scorch the nearby ground. When Reader was done, all that remain was ash and a large patch of burnt ground. Dink definitely fled albeit badly burned but learn a huge lesson.

DON'T PISS OFF READER.

Oh my goodness... no kidding.

Reader is a force to be reckoned with.

....They just round house kick the hoard of enemies with hell fire....

AND THE FOOD WAS BURTN D:<

Dark Link better not come back! How dare he!!!!!!

[delphiniumarchangelmoon]

So I never technically beat tears of the kingdom

It started as me wanting to get prepared for it, make sure I do it in one go. Max my hearts, max my inventory slots, upgrade my favorite armor sets in case I wanna swap em around during the fight, commit war crimes against the Lynel population to get a bunch of multishot bows, yanno the usual stuff.

And then THAT turned into “ah shit upgrading armor costs MONEY” and “how do I easily make money? Selling gems to that nice lady in Goron City!” And “easy way to get gems? Fighting Taluses!”

And THEN I remembered that you get medals for defeating all instances of a boss type and, well, since I’m already going to be mass-murdering taluses for money I might as well just blitz through all of them in one go and get the medal since fighting them is so easy.

(And while I was doing this I started mapping and mass-solving korok puzzles cause it turns out the full inventory upgrades took more than I expected and I actually wasn’t very good at finding koroks on my own…)

And then I finished the Taluses. And I went to collect my reward.

And it said I have one left.

So I did it again. I went online to one of those interactive map pages, filtered for Taluses, and marked each one before doing a circuit of the entire map. Not only did I CHECK every talus for the “defeated” notification, I re-fought every single one just in case it was some kind of glitch.

And it still says I have one left.

So now here I am on my THIRD attempt of finding the last Talus I need to kill to get my medal because goddamnit I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

And of course between fighting the Taluses and Uber-ing koroks around I was EMPTY HANDED. No bomb flowers, no zonaite, no bitches

So I had to do a depths tour. And re-did all the depths talus fights seperate from my other runs. Just because I can. Ended up buying like 45 bomb flowers with all the poes I got and have over 1000 crystalline charges so I’ve bought out every construct shop like three times.

Anyway I’m at like. 400 something Koroks cause if I’m doing several world tours I figured I’d get those while I’m at it (and it helps when I get sick of chasing these dumb rocks) and I’m fairly certain I’m going to get all the other boss medals before I find this last fucking talus just from me needing to kill them to restock on materials.

On the bright side Ganondorf is gonna get his shit absolutely WRECKED when I eventually get there. Master sword who? All I need is my collection of 5 shot savage lynel bows and an inventory full of rocket shields. Eat bullet time you raggedy old bitch!

[strangeduckpaper]

Power Rangers Rewrite: Mighty Morphin'

Season 1 & Background

Because the Boom Comics actually expounds on their backstories, Rita & Zedd have their comics backstories. Rita is specifically from a planet known as Bandora, which has a lot of magical practitioners, including an organized order of witches.

Bandorans are taller than humans, and to a human eye always look a little sickly.

The Power Coins used to belong to a multi planetary team (the Zyu Rangers) with explicitly Alien Zords resembling the 2017 movie. Rita killed the Green Ranger and took that Coin, thus control of the Dragonzord.

The 90’s Zyu Rangers interpreted the Zords on the Coins as artistic renditions of Earth animals, thus minorly reformatting the Zords when they’re finally brought to bear.

Jason actually beats Tommy during their fight like in Zyuranger.

Season 2

Grace Sterling gets introduced, and Zordon tells the story of the 1969 Rangers.

The Stone Canyon Trio are introduced, giving an outside perspective to the Rangers.

Zedd doesn’t arrive…yet. He does send messages to Rita in the form of nightmares.

No Thunderzords, the Zyu/Dino Megazord survives, since I wanna keep the Dairangers (Thunder Star Rangers) in my back pocket.

In the same vein, Tommy doesn’t get the White Tiger Power Coin after losing the Green Power Coin, instead he gets a White Brachiosaurus Power Coin that ties him to Titanus, which itself is reformatted to serve as armor and weaponry for the Zyu Megazord.

Tommy’s Ranger Suit is white and gold, with the MM sculpted mouth helmet and Dragon shield, but with elements of the Dino Thunder Black suit, while Saba is literally just a repainted Bracchio Staff.

Before Tommy comes back, Rita launches the Dark Ranger’s scheme from the comics, which comes to an end once Tommy arrives, destroying the Dark Ranger’s Power Source (A Dark Mockery of a Zeo Crystal?)

The Rita putty escapes, albeit heavily wounded, to fight another day.

Kiya comes to Earth following the Dark Rangers, chasing the power source used. She sticks around for a while.

The first half of the season ends with a final confrontation with Goldar when he attempts to throw Angel Grove into the Dark Dimension during Jason, Trini & Zack’s graduation, and is struck down by Tommy and Jason. The Stone Canyon Trio helps.

Jason, Trini and Zack decide to take a gap year, and are given the Omega Morphers to help Kiya hunt down the source of the knockoff Zeo Crystal, while the Stone Canyon Trio take their places.

Rito arrives afterwards, with some new mercenaries to give the Rangers trouble, including Dayne. Scorpina, meanwhile, leaves, vowing vengeance against the Rangers.

Their adventures include a crossover with the Masked Rider of Edenoi.

The season finale is Zedd’s arrival, Serpentera in tow, and challenges the Rangers to combat.

He destroys the Megazord with Serpentera, before taking them on 1-v-6, rendering the Power Coins useless one after the other, until only Tommy is left with his powers.

Tommy tries, but Zedd captures him, and brings him back to the Moon Castle, leaving the other Rangers to lick their wounds and wallow in their powerlessness.

Season 3

With the Power Coins useless, the Omega Rangers out of contact and Zordon unable to access back-up Ranger powers, Zordon sends the Rangers to Ninjor to create powers of their own.

In the meanwhile, he calls for reinforcements, the Rangers of Aquitar (known as the Doron Rangers), with more on the way.

Zedd sends more monsters to delay the Rangers, and gathers forces fromDark Spector, including Master Vile, to attempt and summon the dark god Lokar from the Talus Dimension.

The Rangers pass Ninjor’s trials and gain their Ninjetti Power Coins and Zords, with all new suits coming with them.

They have elements of the American Ninja Ranger uniforms, the Dairangers, with MM helmets remodeled to reflect their new Zords.

Meanwhile, Tommy is being held by the villains, where he strikes up a friendship with Finster, who eventually helps free him.

During this escape, he finds remnants of the tools used in the corruption of the Green Dragon Power Coin, and takes it.

The Rangers return to Earth and meet the Doron rangers. There’s some chafing, especially between Billy and Cestro, though that rivalry shifts into something more…amorous.

Tommy arrives, Finster by his side and arcane secrets in hand. Finster and Alpha duke it out at least once.

In the background, we’re introduced to new transfer students Tanya Sloan and Kat Hillard. Kat gets mind controlled but it gets broken.

Eventually, Finster, Alpha, Tideus and Delphine figure out how to reactivate the Dragonzord, dormant since the loss of the Green Power Coin, and Tommy uses the power of friendship to bring it back under control.

Master Vile attempts to interfere, but the Rangers strike him down with Ninjor’s help. 

Deciding to take advantage, the rangers attack the moon palace, reinforced by the Masked Rider and the Omega Rangers (Now with Yale replacing Kiya)

The Rangers win, destroying Serpentera, and wrecking the moon base, though Lokar is summoned.

In order to seal him, the Mighty Morphin Rangers sacrifice the Ninjetti Power Coins to do so, while Tommy’s powers once again become unstable.

In the aftermath, the rangers disperse. Kim goes off to pursue her gymnastics career, Billy leaves for Aquitar as a representative of Earth, NASADA, and Prometheus.

Aisha also leaves to join humanitarian aid.

Tommy, a bit adrift, decides to stay with Adam and Rocky, and possibly form a new team.

After all, while they did beat them up, they never saw Rita, Rito, or Zedd actually fall…

<-Prev/Next->

[bugcatcherwill]

I honestly remember you mentioning back when Hebra was introduced about how evermeans are like cats

I’m giggling as I can’t wait when the monsters have pets of the non sentient monsters, if Sterre gets a talus or pebblets I would love and laugh when it has to separate his talus and its ‘babies’ from a frox and its young it tamed in the depths as they like to bicker but are like kobb’s ostrich and hebra will listen when their master says enough is enough i have enough love for ya all when it comes who gets attention

Plus I can see frox eat rocks like gorons but aren’t a fan of talus or pebblets taste and in the depths eat the trees down there so frox are rock eaters but will substitute rocks for dirt, meat or plants and trees

And the idea with evermeans being like cats and launching the wizzrobes when they land on it

Then I saw the chuchu roomba thing and started laughing as I wanna see that so bad

Wonder how octorocks and chuchus would be as you mentioned aerocudas were like dogs but smart like parrots

Or imagine a like like freed are like octorocks polishing rusty weapons so freed like likes don’t eat sheilds but in fact fixes them and polishes them just like octorocks issue is like likes don’t really move much so I see them like a mining or black smith, or construction pet as it can repair batches of tools where as a octorock can only do it one at a time

Yeayeayeaaaa I'm really excited for how I eventually implement the more animal-instict-like monsters

Especially Keese I have such a good idea for Keese it's gonna go so hard trust

Octoroks honestly could be more like real-world octopi in that they're surprisingly intelligent, and absolute mischief-makers.

Like we already have the treasure-heads in BoTW that are meant to troll you. But I can imagine a Malice-free Octorok having that same level of Octopi-like intelligence where they get really smart very quickly.

God, I need monster society already BUT WE GOTTA GET THERE FIRST GRAAAAHHHHH

My need for slow-buildups once again has all of my future ideas screaming at me jhklasdlfkjh

But like imagine all of the Hylians and other races finding out how useful the Octoroks and LikeLikes and everything could be for like farming purposes, pest control, general companionship. All that they weren't allowed to be under the Malice because once again if it's not a weapon to The Calamity it may as well be useless.

Like suddenly one of the main monster settlements is out-producing Hateno in crops and they're like "how the FUCK are they beating us" and it's because the Octoroks and Pebbits are amazing at tilling cropland and defending against pests and the Hylians just wrote them off as annoying animal-like monsters.

But I'm "spoiling" too much here aren't I lmao

[fioreofthemarch]

Finding Her - Chapter 10

Link makes notes, takes photos and keeps time on his quest across Hyrule, in the hopes of finding Zelda and staying sane until he does. [ Previous | Next | First | AO3 ]

Log date: 10:20. 7th month, 1st day. 104AC Location: Talus Plateau, East Lanayru Great Spring Weather: Clear skies, some wind

Found another geoglyph. Couldn’t help myself. Mapped out the path from the wetlands up the river to Zora’s Domain and planned to go straight there. But then I climbed into the Skyview Tower in Upland Zorana and saw it. 

It’s a Zonai Secret Stone, though not the next one in the sequence. That would be the kneeling figure, due west, in Gerudo. But I thought… who hasn’t skipped ahead in a book they’re reading, or asked a friend to get to the good bit of a story they’re telling? Can’t hurt to have a little foreknowledge.  

Wondering now if it was worth the detour. In the vision, Rauru gave the ancient sages the secret stones, and asked for their help to fight the Demon King. It’s nothing we didn’t hear from the sages of Wind and Fire already. That said, the war didn’t seem to be going well. Have to wonder how close they came to defeat. And if Zelda really did fight alongside them. No - who am I kidding? She would have, every step of the way. 

I just hope… she didn’t get hurt. Once, a very long time ago, I swore a vow to never let that happen. And all I want right now is to keep it. But I can’t do that if she’s stuck in the past — unless a vow can stretch that far across time, back to before it was even made? Or did I break it, the moment I let her hand slip through mine? 

Have wasted enough time already. Will make it to Zora’s Domain before tomorrow even if I have to walk all night.

A photograph of a dragon tear, taken just as it falls momentarily upwards. Reflected in the waters of the tear is Link’s face, captivated.

Caption: Need to find more of these. 

---

Log date: 9:50. 7th month, 2nd day. 104AC Location: Dento’s Workshop, Zora’s Domain Weather: Muddy

Arrived in the Domain a bit past midnight. Booked a water bed, rupee pouch be damned. Feel great though. Not a single muscle aching.

Listening to the click clack of Master Dento’s fine tools as he repairs my Zora armour. Occasionally he whips out a sewing needle, to thread arowana scales into the mesh. Asked him what those do and he said ‘Nothing, if I can’t focus.’ Point taken. So here I am tap-tapping away on the Purah Pad, making no noise and not distracting anyone. 

Regret not coming to Zora’s Domain sooner. Situation’s dire — their water’s been poisoned. It’s as vital to them as air. Worse, Sidon and Dorephan aren’t here. Sidon has gone to Mipha Court to purify the water flowing into the Domain. And Dorephan, no one would say. No one seems to even know. If it weren’t for Lady Yona helping heal the sick — I don’t know. It’d be catastrophic. 

Though, not as catastrophic as the earful Zelda might give Sidon for not telling us he was engaged. (Happy for him, of course.) Just hope she’s back before their wedding. We’ve been to a couple, mostly small, simple affairs. Zelda’s a great dancer, and it makes her laugh that I’m not… 

All the more reason to sort out this sludge. Dento’s nearly done. I better leave him in peace. The side eye he’s giving me is so sharp it physically kind of hurts. 

A photograph of said side-eye, as Master Dento scowls at the camera. In his hands is an expertly crafted Zora chest-piece. On the workbench is a spread of metal working tools of every shape and size. 

Caption: Will have to give him my last rupees as thanks, when he’s done. 

---

Log date: 17:30. 7th month, 2nd day 104AC Location: Mikau Lake, Upland Zorana Weather: Mud continuing. 

Zelda, Zelda, Zelda. What have you been up to? 

First you appear at Hyrule Castle and spook all of the soldiers, then you’re on Stormwind Ark just as it unleashes a deadly blizzard, then you give Yunobo a mask that turns him against us, and now, apparently, you’ve attacked a King.

I don’t like where this is going. I don’t like not knowing where this is going. Because Zelda, I’m starting to think terrible things. You coming back different is one thing. Coming back evil is another. 

I do know what I saw, at least. After following a trail of clues (ancient stone tablets, eavesdropping on children, the usual), I found Dorephan hidden in a secret cave. He’s in a bad way. He said you set a sludge monster on him, Zelda. I can’t even picture it, but why would he lie? 

Anyway. You should know Sidon has been wearing himself thin trying to protect his people. He literally can’t stop, or the whole Domain will be poisoned. And then they will be without a home and a King. Those don’t sound like the consequences of well meaning actions to protect Hyrule, do they? In fact, nothing I’ve seen you do in the present seems right, anymore. 

I’m not angry, just… confused. I’ll find the truth, as much as I don’t want to. I know that you’d do the same for me. 

A photograph of Zora’s Domain taken from the cliffs of Upland Zorana. The waters are murky and discoloured, in contrast to the pristine stone masonry and metalwork of Zora’s Domain itself. 

Caption: This couldn’t have been on purpose, right?

--- 

Log date: 13:00. 7th month, 3rd day 104AC Location: Ancient Zora Waterworks  Weather: Damp

Learnings of the Zora, Anecdote Three Our Quest to Defeat The Treacherous Sludge As told by Prince Sidon

I, Sidon, have asked the Hylian Link, my dearest friend, if I may dictate my musings on the past few weeks so that they may be written on a twelfth Zora stone monument.

Link, who I treasure above all Hylians, is dutifully transcribing the words I am saying onto his small glowing device. He calls it a … a what pad? Who is Purah? No, no, don’t write that. I will continue now. Thank you Link. 

On the terrible day of the Upheaval, vile sludge began pouring from the skies. It seemed to fall from islands suspended in the air, but how could this be? No such islands had ever before been seen. 

Despite the terror of that day, I felt great pride in my heart, for the Zora dove headfirst into action. The soldiers evacuated people from the water. My father departed with Muzu at once to investigate. And my dear Lady Yona began healing any who had been injured. 

As Prince of the Zora, I went immediately to Mipha Court, so named for my beloved sister who made the ultimate sacrifice to protect our home. There I hoped to fortify our sacred wellsprings and divert as much of the sludge as I could. It was there I remained, day and night, for many weeks.

Just as my faith was waning, who would appear but my truest friend - Link! I sent him to treat with our historian, Jiahto, and to find my father, the great King Dorephan.

Imagine! My horror at hearing that my father had been attacked by a monster, set upon him by Princess Zelda herself! Almost as much as my shock at hearing a pillar of light had appeared in the Eastern Reservoir! Spurred on by caring words from my beloved Yona, I departed with Link to investigate. 

Beneath the reservoir, we have found a large cavern that appears to house an ancient waterworks. I believe this concealed place was used by my ancestors to control the waters flowing from the Domain, so that all of Hyrule could benefit. To think, we stand now, in a place built by those who may have founded Zora’s Domain itself! 

Our quest is not yet complete, for the sludge still sullies my home. However Link, a great adventurer, believes we are ‘on the right track’, as he says in his charming Hylian vernacular. 

I, Prince Sidon, swear to not rest until all the sludge has been vanquished and the people of Zora’s Domain are safe once again! 

Okay. Phew. How did that sound? Thrilling, I hope! Have you finished eating your lunch? I’m not hungry, but thank you. Link, you can stop writing now. Link, I have finished my tale. I am serious. Link. LINK.

A hurriedly taken photograph of Prince Sidon of the Zora, who is reaching for the Purah Pad with an incredulous look on his face. The photograph is a little blurred, as the photographer was laughing while trying to take it. 

Caption: Priceless. 

---

Log date: 01:38. 7th month, 5th day 104AC Location: Zora’s Domain  Weather: Clear skies, mild

Well well where to start. First, they had the wedding. Sidon and Yona. Maybe six hours after we got back. I went to get my things and next I knew .. wahoo! A wedding! Secondly, lots of wine, at this wedding. Is it safe for Zora to drink wine? Maybe it’s Zora wine. Made of fish?

Could write this in the morning but you know, why not now? Now is good. There’s music, mostly flutes, people are dancing, eating, and drinking. I sure have been. Not the dancing, the other bits. 

Anyway, the log notes. We defeated the Mucktorok! But also, before that, Sidon and I, best bud Sidon, we activated a big waterfall and swam up to the Water Temple. Another waterworks, in the sky. Not as dramatic as a ghost ship or a volcano but, whatever. Oh but, but but but, this one — makes you float. You’d jump and whoosh , you’d be flying through the air, lighter than silk. Or a feather. Or something else that floats. 

We coasted through that place in no time. Four puzzles? Easy as pie. Pie. Wonder if there’s fish pie here. Porgy pie, with lemon, and dill. I’m starving. 

…

Okay, back with lemon cake. Not exactly what I was picturing but it was free. Or if they were charging they didn’t catch me. Anyway the Mucktorok. That thing was awful. Thank Hylia for Sidon’s water powers. Made quick work of it. We struck it down in minutes, and then it exploded, because of course it did. Why do monsters do that? Sidon took it all in his stride. He’s the Water Sage now. And the King. Big day for him, in particular. 

Sidon promised to help find Zelda. He said there must be a Zelda in the past and a Zelda in the present. Two Zeldas? Sure. Anything’s possible. Will think about that… tomorrow. 

Sidon and Yona got married, it was sweet. Sidon cried during the ceremony, and thanked me in his speech afterwards. Wahoo. Then came the toasts. Every Zora and his grandfather made a toast. Long live the King! Raise a glass! I’ll drink to that! And now my head… is very wobbly. Kind of like that floating temple, up in the up, up there. Very wobbly. 

Up, up. Down, down. I am going down. To bed. Yes, to bed. I am going to go to bed. Goodnight. 

A self-portrait of Link and a group of Zora revellers. Zora’s Domain is decorated brightly with glowing lanterns, ribbons and silverware. There is indeed music and dancing at the wedding, as Zora from all over the Domain have converged at the main plaza to celebrate. Link is drinking from a small silver chalice that overtops with wine. 

Caption: Don’t tell Zelda. 

[lucky-clover-gazette]

evil emails

1050 words | canon-compliant | vio & shadow

Per our previous conversations, I would like to again emphasize the initiative and skill V has shown since swearing allegiance to our cause. I am contacting you today to follow up on my request to offer him a permanent position as my

Shadow looks up at Vio, whose stupid hat bounces up and down as he gesticulates wildly. He might not fully understand whatever niche historical event has piqued Vio’s interest this week, but Shadow loves to listen all the same.

as my assistant

as my companion

as my official right-hand man.

Author's Note: This is not my usual type of fic, but I thought it would be interesting to try some things I haven't before. This little moment takes place during the canon manga events and is not as clearly ship-oriented as my other work for this fandom. The line between platonic and romantic is up to you to draw.

read it on ao3 or under the cut:

It's an unconventional arrangement, but it works.

"...so the thing about attempting the trials on Master Mode, is that the enemies are all scaled up but the weapons remain mostly the same. An exception is an additional Iron Sledgehammer on the fourth floor, but it's not even useful on the miniboss because it's scaled up to a Luminous Stone Talus, which is the only kind of Talus that doesn't take four-times damage from that weapon. It's just another thing that makes the trials so fundamentally dysfunctional, not to mention how the durability..."

Shadow balances the laptop on his knees and elevates his legs onto Vio's lap. Half-listening to the blonde’s interest of the day, he clicks on the keyboard with freshly-painted purple fingernails.

Hey Boss,

Shadow shakes his head and backspaces. Writing emails will always be a chore, but it was ten times worse before he had Vio around for background noise. He can’t really explain why it helps him so much—logically, it should probably distract him from his writing—but it boosts his efficiency and makes Vio happy, and those are two of Shadow’s main priorities these days.

“…and the sneakstrike chaining is really essential because—Shadow, did you hear that, I said the sneakstrike is essential—”

"I did," Shadow replies, raising a thumbs-up. "Sneakstrike chaining is essential because you can exploit it indefinitely.”

"Well, actually, on the tenth floor it's harder to pull off, because the lizalfos are by water…”

Shadow rolls his eyes with a smile, returning his attention to the screen.

Dear Lord Vaati,

I hope this message finds you well.

Truthfully he couldn’t care less, but with the request he’s about to make he needs the hackneyed salutation.

Progress is going well on Death Mountain. The Fire Temple has been prepared for the heroes’ arrival with more than enough time to spare.

"Two silver lizalfos, Shadow, that's insane! It's like, impossible to beat."

Shadow hums and meets Vio’s eyes. “But didn't the Hero beat it?"

"That's what the legends say, but I still have my doubts. I just don't understand…”

Per our previous conversations, I would like to again emphasize the initiative and skill V has shown since swearing allegiance to our cause. I am contacting you today to follow up on my request to offer him a permanent position as my

Shadow looks up at Vio, whose stupid hat bounces up and down as he gesticulates wildly. He might not fully understand whatever niche historical event has piqued Vio’s interest this week, but Shadow loves to listen all the same.

as my assistant

as my companion

as my official right-hand man.

“One historian postulates that the Hero could have cheated the tenth floor using campfires, but frankly I think that's absurd."

“You're absurd,” Shadow teases, and is promptly flipped off. He sticks out his tongue and opens his file explorer.

I have attached a document outlining Vio Violet Link's contributions over the past few months, as well as statements from the head of HR (Hinox Resources) and Big Poe. Please share this information with Lord Ganon in preparation for next week’s board meeting. I would like to secure my associate’s role in the organization before the end of this quarter.

Shadow hesitates—here comes the hard part.  

As strange as it may sound, V’s allegiance is essential to our continued success. His capability for manipulation is far beyond what we had anticipated, and at this moment the lesser heroes still believe him to be on their side. With this deceptive advantage in mind, I believe we could potentially take over Hyrule before this quarter’s end. Of course, once we have achieved our goal, V’s original purpose in the plan will be fulfilled.

I humbly ask insist that V’s life not only be spared, but also protected indefinitely, by the forces of evil. Violet Link is our proven ally, your faithful servant, and my associate accomplice

“… may have lots of health, but they also die instantly when they hit the water, so of course the strategy is to knock them off the tower, and—hey.”

Shadow feels a hand on his shoulder.

“What?” Shadow asks, his tone more irritated then intended.

Vio frowns, meeting his eyes. He places his free hand on Shadow’s knee, holding him steady. “You just started looking really worried there for a second. Not an emotion I’d normally associate with emails.”

Shadow shakes his head, mustering a smile. “Then you must not know much about emails.”

Vio doesn’t appreciate his joke.

“I’m okay,” Shadow assures him. “Just trying to figure out the right word for something.”

“Oh. All right. Do you want help with that?”

Hylia, no he does not. Shadow places his hand over Vio’s. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got it.”

“Do you need some quiet, or do you want to hear more about…?”

“I want to hear it all.”

Vio seems surprised by Shadow’s response. “Thank you. I’m… still not used to hearing that.”

Shadow resents the world for ever making Vio feel unheard. It’s good, he supposes, that they’re going to destroy it together.  

So, he types:

Violet Link is our proven ally, your faithful servant, and my friend.

It may seen unprofessional to mention friendship in our correspondence, but I see it as assurance. I swear to take full responsibility for V’s actions—past, present, and future. I understand, of course, that there is always a possibility of his betrayal. In such case I

“…shock arrows in a treasure chest, but it might not be worth your—”

 “Vio,” Shadow interrupts, his hand hovering over the keyboard.

“Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t apologi—you know what, we can talk about that later. I just have to ask… I can trust you, right? You’re devoted to the darkness forever?”

Vio blinks. “Why are you asking me this now?”

“I need you to say yes, and I need you to mean it.”

“Then I say yes. You can trust me. I’m devoted to the darkness forever.”

Shadow nods, strangely unsatisfied by his satisfaction.

In such case I swear to end his life myself.

It’s his most compelling argument yet.

“So anyway,” Vio says, his discomfort getting the best of him. “The final boss is a Hinox, actually, and—”

I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Shadow Link

[offbrand-deltatraveler]

The Master Sword is absolute dogshit in Tears of the Kingdom and some of y’all need to stop pretending it’s not

We’re told in a memory that the longer the Master Sword is bathed in holy light, the stronger it becomes. But despite the fact that it’s been cooking for half a million years on the Light Dragon’s head, it’s weaker than it was in Breath of the Wild by a landslide. And don’t give me “Oh but maybe that’s just the amount of time it needed to recharge” because it got roughed up pretty bad in Breath of the Wild too, so much so that it’s beaten up state is literally in the logo, and it didn’t even take the full 100 years to recover. And that was when it was just sitting in the center of the Korok Forest, not lodged into the biggest source of holy light in existence

“BuT 45 dAmAgE iS a LoT fOr A nOn-FuSeD wEaPoN” You shouldn’t have to help the revitalized sword of legend be legendary. In the state it’s in right now, I could use a Throwing Spear and it breaking upon impact would be more satisfying than using the glorified stick that is this game’s Master Sword

“BuT iT cAn’T bE tHat pOwErFuL oR eLsE nO oThEr WeApOnS WiLl Be UsEd” I don’t care. It’s bad to say that the Master Sword should be more powerful and then make it less powerful. It’s base power just barely rivals that of an Eighfold Longblade, and that’s bullshit for a weapon that I have to get an entire second wheel of Stamina for, and was intended to collect every memory before attempting to get when I could instead just mozzie on up to the Akkala Research Lab and get an actual Eightfold Longblade

Not to mention, you really want people to have more variety in their arsenal? Give them a reason to other than just not having a Master Sword. Even with the Master Sword’s weakness out of a picture, when I discovered the power of a Lynel Horn fused to a Zora Sword I never looked back. Which is arguably worse than me only using the Master Sword because who needs the Master Sword when I have my Lynel Saber

The way the game is structured, you experiment until you find your perfect Fusion snd then you’re set for life. The only other thing you need at that point is a Talus Heart attached to a powerful sword to make a pickaxe

I didn’t think it was possible to meat-ride something that doesn’t have meat but apparently people just love Fi that much